History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 141 - Yamaneika Saunders is WILD!

Episode Date: April 24, 2020

We're still in quarantine and we've got Yamaneika Saunders here! This is episode gets WILD from the start! Corona etiquette on the streets, what's going on with Yanni's hair, and how's Chrissy's situa...tion are just the start of this not to be missed poddy!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:34 ស្លាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់� All right. Welcome to another episode of History. I'm your host, Chrissy Cumpleanos. Yanni, y'all got hair. And then we got my baby mama, Yamanika Saunders. Hello. Hi. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:00:45 When are you going to let me see my kid? You can come see him anytime because I'll get everybody out of the house. I'm scared of the coronavirus. Do you have a fever, dry cough? What's going on? I mean, surprisingly, despite the fact that all black people are dying from it, I feel fine. Now, yeah's it's disproportionately it's just another thing that's fucking racist against black women is the coronavirus yeah you
Starting point is 00:01:12 know i did a video that went viral uh last week it got it got so many shares um on my page alone without even tagging myself it's got like a hundred thousand views it's been shared thousands yeah i saw it and um you know people were sort of i took it down today i archived it and um i struck myself from an interview about um black people getting disproportionately um dying from the coronavirus because i felt like when I posted it, you know, we do things out of humor and comedy, right? Sure. And we see things happening and we call things that are happening as we see it,
Starting point is 00:01:54 but we may not necessarily be doing all the research. We may not have all the understanding there's a bigger agenda. We may be Ari Shafir. Yeah. Right, right. But I feel like the video became somewhat irresponsible for me to keep it up because I don't believe
Starting point is 00:02:16 that the information that we're getting, that we're not addressing the real issues of why Black people, and now they're saying Hispanic people, people of color are disproportionately dying, not even acquiring COVID more than everyone else, but dying of it,
Starting point is 00:02:34 which I think is a huge distinction that they're not addressing. And there's a number of reasons for that. And it's more than black people eating pig feet, not knowing how to stay away from one another. I have to address the issue that, um, you know, black people are not receiving the same,
Starting point is 00:02:54 um, attention when they go to get healthcare rate away at higher rates, you know, things like that. I don't want to get too deep into it because it's not like you guys are essence magazine. No, but we appreciate you saying it because we just we've just been yelling about the goddamn Chinese it being their fault but I guess it there's more to it now what we what we want to know though what we would like to know is um as a as a strong beautiful black
Starting point is 00:03:19 woman is Sean King black yes or no we need to know if he's black because we don't think he is. We think he's a whitey that's trying to, you know, that he's trying to get, you know, the black vote. And we just don't believe we don't, we don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:37 So we were like, if anyone knows it's young. Well, you know, the thing about it is, I mean, the man's not running for president right now. So I don't think it's, uh, I think he's doing more of a contribution than Rachel Zola doll or whatever.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Right. Is he doing more of a contribution than Andrew Schultz? See, I follow Sean King. He follows me. I enjoy him. I just get it. I think Andrew follows me. I know him. I just get it. So I think Andrew follows me. I know Andrew is a, is a good friend of mine. I, uh,
Starting point is 00:04:11 anybody who wants to help black causes, uh, and help black people, uh, and they want to, cause it's not, it's not like saying you black is like, like he won the jackpot.
Starting point is 00:04:25 You understand? Like he's putting himself in the midst of a lot of issues that you have to deal with when you are saying that you are black. The thing is, the thing that I love about you the most, Yamanika, is you have the old school, and Bobby Kelly said the same thing. You have the old school comedy mindset in the sense that we could say anything, no matter how near and dear it is to you. And if it's funny, you'll fucking laugh. And if it's not funny, you just won't
Starting point is 00:04:48 laugh. There's no, I love having real comics on where nobody's getting offended, where we're just doing fucking jokes where it's like, you know, because it's like, I feel like, especially now in this time, it's like, people are tuning into us just to laugh where it's like, yo man, like, is it a big deal? Like I said, the other day, I said, I'm going to make a movie about the pandemic. I'm going to have Joe Pesci play Dr. Fauci. Alec Baldwin play Donald Trump and Jackie Chan play the coronavirus. And people, you know, were like, take that down. And I was like, what?
Starting point is 00:05:21 Get the fuck out of here. No chance. out and I was like, what? Get the fuck out of here. No chance. You know what? We know this shit came from China and they're not even refuting it. They're not saying nothing. It came from them. They're lying asses. We get
Starting point is 00:05:37 all kinds of shit from them. Some good shit like we get Nintendo Switch from them but then we also get the damn coronavirus from their ass. We get Nintendo Switch from them, but then we'd also get the damn coronavirus from their ass. We get iPods from them, but we also get the Hong Kong flu from their ass. So... The fucking Wuhan Weezer!
Starting point is 00:05:54 The Holocaust! The Yang and the Yang! Yeah, the Yang and the Yang, literally. Yeah, we got all that shit. How's your cat Bloomingdale's or Variety Magazine? Which one's sick Well now I got Richard Pryor
Starting point is 00:06:08 You gotta see Richard Pryor Let's see Richard Pryor He's not really you know Brooklyn's the one that's kind of sick but this is This is Richard Pryor Pryor's doing good Yeah he's okay he's thin He's checking out the environment
Starting point is 00:06:24 You know he's okay. He's thin. He's checking out the environment. You know, Forbes magazine passed. So whenever you see cats' toes like this, they want to get the fuck away from you. Yeah. In the tail like this. So I'm going to have hell to pay tonight when I go to play Fortnite. He's going to fuck my shit up. Yeah, it took me a while.
Starting point is 00:06:42 It took me a while. Anytime I saw you talking about your cats, I't i i thought you were doing like uh department store reviews until i realized that that was the name of your cats yes forbes magazine and i i literally named him that because i thought we were going to be on forbes magazine together because cat videos are very popular they get billions of views people People are making big coins. Hell yeah. Whenever I turn the camera on, they shut down.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Now you also, we were talking last week, you, you dumped your boyfriend because you thought he had Corona,
Starting point is 00:07:18 right? Is that what, what's the story with that? Is he back in yet? I don't want's shit on him. No, I, you know what? I'm going to be very fair to him because he, I'm, I made the relationship public cause we were so much in each other's life, but I don't want to, um,
Starting point is 00:07:37 I don't want to run him through the cold cause it's not fair to him to speak on his behalf. So we were not one of, but one of the reasons why, one of the biggest issues was that I did not want him in my house with, because he has more, he comes into contact more with Chinese. Not just Chinese,
Starting point is 00:07:59 but he's sort of an essential worker right now. So he's coming into contact every day with people that could or could not have it. And I never said that I couldn't get it or that I wouldn't be somebody that would be a carrier of it. But I know that my chances are lower than his. And I'm somebody who, you know, I just quit smoking three days ago because I ran out of cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:08:25 What are you doing for Dick then? What am I doing for Dick? For Dick? Yeah. I mean, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Who are all these people that are so hot during a pandemic? How many days does this have to go on before you take one of your cat's tails and stick it up there? How long?
Starting point is 00:08:41 First of all, they don't even get that hard. Not that I tried, but that I would even know. How long? First of all, they don't even get that hard. Not that I tried, but that I would even know. But I can just tell you that that would be impossible. But no, I'm not like, I'm concerned about the world, you know? Right. And I'm doing so much, I'm spending so much time being creative and thinking about comedy that it's like, you know, I can go a long period of time without worrying about sex,
Starting point is 00:09:08 without thinking about sex, and then I have periods of time when that's all the jazz because I've put it in reserve. So I'm not, I don't see myself getting hot and bothered during this pandemic, especially because you don't even know what has the coronavirus, right?
Starting point is 00:09:23 All my dildos and vibrates the shit exactly and they could be surfaces that hold the coronavirus and then i'm shoving it up my shit i'm not i can wait now all three a little inside info all three of us have the same manager how long before he gets the cut. How long until we've all figured out, hey, buddy, we can do your job. No, I'm just kidding, because he's definitely going to listen to this episode.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Truffle Pig, I'm just kidding. This actually looks like a Zoom conference call to fire him right now. I'm sure you guys saw Jim. I talked to him a couple of days ago and I was having wine in his home no no I feel I feel for everybody during this time I was just thinking about like comedians who haven't made haven't found the presence on television, because I'm like,
Starting point is 00:10:26 every comic needs to find a space on TV or IG or make that way, because I don't know when the clubs are going to come back. You know, like I just said in Wuhan, China, they have like zero cases of the coronavirus. They're lying. But people,
Starting point is 00:10:43 but maybe that's why people are not going, like they showed movie theaters and people are not going to the movie theaters. Even with the social distancing and having designated seats to keep people six feet apart, people are still not putting themselves in a, I'm not like yesterday, a friend was supposed to take
Starting point is 00:10:59 me, was supposed to get a zip card and take me to take my pet Brooklyn to the vet because and he's not feeling well. And I didn't want to be in an Uber breathing somebody else's air. I don't know where they've been. I know where my friend has been and I've been. And then she wasn't able to do it.
Starting point is 00:11:18 I couldn't take my pet. I had to walk an hour both ways to the vet just to drop off a stool sample. And it was really, it was a walk that could have taken me 45 minutes both ways, but it took me two hours because I had to go down the street. Cause people are not, people are walking right to you. They're not keeping the social distancing people walking without masks. I'm just like, you know, you know, and it's like,
Starting point is 00:11:44 I can't tell you how many fucking families I've seen walking their fucking kids in a stroller like, oh, let's go, because I'm right by Central Park, and it's like, oh, let's go to the park and with Meemaw and Peepaw and the dog
Starting point is 00:11:59 and people jogging and shit, and I'm just like, this is not America saying, let's have a like, this is not America saying, let's have a vacation. This is not a holiday. Why don't you take your fucking, if your kid is that small that it can be in like one of those strollers with the carriage cover up,
Starting point is 00:12:17 that means that's a baby. You're fucking bringing your baby out in the street? Don't do it. I know, but they are saying now that it's not, it's not in the air don't do it i know but they they are saying now that it's not it's not in the air like they thought it was it's not as long as you're you know going out with your hands clean you should be okay before they told us it wasn't don't wear the mask because i remember i'll never forget i had i was sitting on a million dollar profit because I was at JFK right before the shit hit off. I went to one of those little stands, you know, with the magazines and the shit.
Starting point is 00:12:52 They had a whole tub of masks. I only bought two. There was a tub of them. I only bought two of them because I was like, oh, I just need one to go and want to come back. Right. Then I was wearing the mask. Everybody's looking at me crazy, crazy. Then my friend tells me when I get to LA,
Starting point is 00:13:09 she's like, oh, you're not supposed to wear the mask. Only the people that have the coronavirus wear the mask. That's why people are looking at you crazy. Then I give her the extra one because I'm like, well, you know, you have this. I'll hold on to this. She lost to shit. That was a million and a half dollars worth of money she lost. I lost a million and a half dollars worth of money she lost.
Starting point is 00:13:25 I lost a million and a half. I wish I had bought that whole tub. They were only selling them, well, they probably were like 45 cents, right, to me. They were selling them for six bucks. I should have invested. I should have bought that tub because nobody was buying them. I would
Starting point is 00:13:41 have had a turnover at least three or $400,000 because I would have sold each one for a grand. Well, babe, let me ask you this because they're saying that the comedy clubs most likely are not going to be open until next winter. So to make money, when are you going to do cam girl stuff? What are you going to do? People have been saying
Starting point is 00:13:58 get a fans only page. Yes, get a fans only Patreon. But I don't have to like take my clothes off, right? Yes, no, you do. I mean, do you want to make money or not? I mean, we're trying to feed the cats here. Pull them out!
Starting point is 00:14:13 No, there's some girls that are just, like, kind of be like, you know. Yeah, some of the female comedians, a couple of them, they went to Camgirl right away. Karen Feehan, check out her Patreon. I think she was doing it before, too she did she did yes but karen's already showing her ass for free it's like let's charge let's get an entry fee so what's she doing she taking her clothes off i think if you go to her patreon which i don't know what it is it's just yeah for whatever it is a month you just, she'll get naked.
Starting point is 00:14:46 That's what some people are doing. Not saying female comedians, but people are doing that that had other jobs because people are paying for that. Yeah, but, I mean, the price might be high because she's got a tight fit body. I don't know. You know, I've got chicken arms and shit. You know, it's like, you know paying who's paying to see me fly off the couch unfortunately with our fans there's probably some guys moving their monkey right now
Starting point is 00:15:11 just watching this yeah yeah that why do you think why do you think venetia never put your camera on i mean come on we got some hardcore fans you know what karen fien should do because she already did it for free now she should charge is she should fight lewis for money they should organize a slapbox fight because that's what he did with um jeremiah he should do it with karen already did it for free. Now she should charge. She should fight Lewis for money. They should organize a slapbox fight because that's what he did with Jeremiah. He should do it with Kieran. They did it for free already on his podcast. Just do an all-out brawl with Lewis J. Gomez for money. He slappedboxed her?
Starting point is 00:15:36 Yeah, they got into like a... She threw water on him, and then he threatened to hit her, and then they dated for a couple years. So... Yeah. So they should just organize another fight like a pay-per-view on digital oh they did date i can't keep up with all the nonsense that happens in this community yeah was your boyfriend was your boyfriend a comedian
Starting point is 00:16:01 he wasn't he is a comedian right what's his career like ahead of yours you're behind way behind you have to ask is he a comedian ought to tell you right there where the fuck he lay on well no comedy we don't want to out him that's why we were asked i mean it could be it could be anybody you know listen y'all trying to get me slapboxed at my house. I will say this. He is funny. You know, I would not date somebody that I didn't think was funny. Right. You know, and so I'll leave it there.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I respected him. I thought he was funny. The reason why we're not together has nothing to do with his inability to be funny as a comedian. Did he ever get brought up on stage as Yamanika Saunders' boyfriend? Was that his credit? No, it was not his credit. It wasn't his credit. Baby Boo Boo, how's your family doing?
Starting point is 00:16:57 How's your family in Maryland? Is everyone good? Well, today is my grandfather's birthday. He passed, so we're really giving him honor today. So I said, my mother. My mom is a senior. Surprisingly enough, she's a senior, although she's 62. She's a senior.
Starting point is 00:17:19 And my aunt is almost a senior, but she has special needs, and she has diabetes and things like that. So I just ordered, I got, I think, the last order from Walmart before they switched over their process. I got them the big rolls of toilet paper for their businesses. So I got them 12 big rolls. They're going to have toilet paper for at least. So I got them 12 big rolls. They're going to have toilet paper for at least three years. I got them a big thing of paper towels
Starting point is 00:17:50 that fit the office. So it's like, because my mom was like, oh, I got to go outside and get paper towels. I was like, bitch, you ain't dying for no fucking paper towels. Okay? You better wipe your lips off on the couch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I've been wiping my ass with the chinese flag i have i don't know if you guys's parents do this but like i've talked to some of my friends that i think our parents don't get it right like my mom was just like i i swear my mom probably walked out the house with coffee filters over her nose. Like, they're not getting it. Oh, yeah. No, one relative of mine put a Tropicana bottle, a plast, she wove Tropicana orange juice bottles together and made a face mask. No.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Absolutely. My father's been taking the bus to the local Dunkin' Donuts he goes to. they have a gambling ring out of the back because those bets are not going to place themselves. You know, my mother's still trying to go to church even though the doors aren't open. You know, I got an Aunt Colleen that's a smoker. She's still, you know, she's still outside smoking, walking the dog. I mean, yeah, our families don't give a fuck because they don't think that it's real. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:01 They're used to, like, real enemies that you can see. You know, they don't get this. They don't understand it. They don't believe in it. They don't understand it. Yeah, they don't understand a virus. Yeah. They're used to like real enemies that you can see. You know, they don't get this. They don't understand it. They don't believe in it. They don't understand it. Yeah, they don't understand a virus. Yeah. You know, I have a gay uncle. He's like, I already have the virus. I'm like, not that one. Through him and all this. But it's true because you see like our age group all in the house doing shit
Starting point is 00:19:28 from, but you see babies on the street and you see old people on the street. I saw an old bitch. I didn't tell you. I said, ma'am, get inside. Get your ass in. He got on a fucking pink sweater. She got on a pink track suit with a pink cigarette holder
Starting point is 00:19:44 smoking cigarettes. I said on a bitch you about to damn die bitch i know i know a thousand years old with a fucking dog that's probably catching all kinds of corona shit his motherfucking sweater and blouse what about for you church have you been going to church is there a zoom church for you because i know you're very religious what are the black churches doing i don't know because I stopped going to black church when I realized they don't have no respect for your time. Right. Too long. In what way?
Starting point is 00:20:13 Well, it's like you get in church at 11 a.m. and you don't get out until 10 p.m. Three weeks. Like, I don't. I always say I go to white church where they keep Jesus. Like, all right, that's why Catholic church is the best. 45 minutes, you listen to the priest says the same thing, a quick teabag, and then you're out. That's it.
Starting point is 00:20:34 You get dipped. 45 minutes just to get out of the parking lot at black church. The same people you just saw last week, you got to talk to them like they just came back from like a 40 year like voyage. I know. Dude, black church, it's the same thing. 45 minutes to get out of the parking lot, an hour and a half to get into the IHOP. It's too much. But now, what, so wait Because I fucking missed you
Starting point is 00:21:11 I mean, have you Fucking get in the Golden Corral Yeah, Golden Corral Have you seen any Have you seen anybody, have you physically Been with any, any comedians that have been safe to come around, just take a walk with anybody?
Starting point is 00:21:30 I know cause you're such an emotional, uh, social person. You're so socially lovable that I worry that you're not getting enough human interaction. I'm not, well, I haven't officially, I was, my dad keeps calling me and I keep sending him the voicemail. I, you know, it's like, I haven't officially, I was, my dad keeps calling me and I keep sending him the voicemail. I, you know, it's like, I haven't been, I've been on the road a lot this year, last year, like in LA a lot, traveling a lot. I've been going. So for me to sit at home and go, Oh, I like my apartment. Oh, I have a great TV. I got my PS4.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I got my great couch. I love my, you know, I can cook and all the, my kitchen utensils. So I, you know, I'm keeping myself busy with that and cleaning up and organizing like I
Starting point is 00:22:16 needed to, because it's just things, projects and stuff I wanted to do. I didn't have time to do things like that, but do I get lonely? Yes. Um, I've been playing,
Starting point is 00:22:24 um, fortnight with Mateo and a couple other people. Every other night, I've been doing podcasts like with you and Giannis. You know, I've been, people have been hitting me up to do certain interviews. I've been writing stuff. I've been submitting things. I'm still trying to make sure that the projects I was working on prior, you know, in people's minds, although I know everybody's like, Oh, the money,
Starting point is 00:22:47 where are we going to get the money? Um, so I've been doing that. I'm neighbors with Pat Brown. So she's, you know, Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah. So, but I mean, I haven't seen her in a couple of days. You know, we saw each other. We walked around, but as soon as things got crazy,
Starting point is 00:23:04 and I think that goes back to my boyfriend when I was like saying to him, I'm just like, we saw each other, we walked around, but as soon as things got crazy, and I think that goes back to my boyfriend, when I was like saying to him, I'm just like, everything got crazy when we had a curfew, like 8 PM. And I was like, Oh, this is really serious. And I need to take it serious. And I think some people don't believe in the coronavirus. I think some people believe it's propaganda and that they're lying to us. And I'm all on board with those things but also i'm at a point in my life where i have so much that i want to do that i don't feel like risking my life all because i think i know what's going on you know yeah right right yeah we know we know for a fact
Starting point is 00:23:38 that it's real because we both know have doctor friends it's a real thing yeah it's a nasty bug and it's unpredictable i mean most people get it they're okay but you never know if you're going to be the one that catches a nasty strain that kills people you know yeah yeah i know i i especially you know like us having elderly parents and you know kids or whatever but i'm trying i'm trying to just every day to be honest with you april used to be my favorite month. You know, April showers bring May flowers. So I'm a kid, I like the rain. I'm just a German depressed kid that loves the rain.
Starting point is 00:24:12 So April's usually my faves these months. But now I just want April to be over because they're saying April 30th, hopefully things will change. I know the virus is going over. They can't predict what God's going to do and not do and Mother Nature and all this other stuff. I mean, I agree with you. I love the rain. I think that's the only reason why I'm able to cope. I used to sit out in the rain when I was a kid on my roof, you know, have the rain, but I love water. I'm also a water sign. I'm a Scorpio. So it's like all that, but, um, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:40 it's going to rain today. Maybe it's going to rain tomorrow. I love just looking at my window. Like, I have a big window, and I can see all the rain and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, right, right. Not, you know, I'm able to tolerate it. I've always been a fall person, and I've had to adjust with that because fall just keeps getting shorter and shorter. I know. You know, because of the climate problems. I think we will have more rain. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:07 I think us being inside, the world being inside so much is actually positive for the world. I mean, so like, if there is a silver lining in this thing, people not being out so much, like it don't make no sense for people to be out in the world so much and then you realize like oh the streets shouldn't be clogged the world shouldn't be clogged with
Starting point is 00:25:34 people walking and breathing and smoking and doing painting and constructing like those things affect the world so when I went out yesterday I'm like, it feels, the world felt like it was not as chaotic. Seals, even animals. Seals have come back into New York Harbor. Yana sent me an article this morning that New Delhi has got the lowest, the best air quality index they've ever had on record because people are just inside. So I think I agree with you. I think like the silver lining is, you know, the earth is trying to, maybe
Starting point is 00:26:08 that's just what it is. Maybe the earth is just like, listen, you guys have had it too good for too long. Now I'm going to take some shit back and this is how it is and it's going to be a new normal. Potentially. Yeah. But I'm I got a question for Yamanika because she's saying people should quarantine and
Starting point is 00:26:23 stay in. How the fuck does your hair look so good? Who's doing your hair? You know you snuck out to get your hair did. Let me tell you something. I had my hair in braids. I just took the braids off so that's where I'm getting the
Starting point is 00:26:39 curl from. You guys are guys so you're like, oh, our hair looks good but honey if i was at a hair salon right now they'd be reading me left and damn right they'd be like oh girl you oh no child not the edges girl not the chat i did my i did out uh with david spade last week and realized that the last minute i'm like, I can't go on there looking crazy. And so I went and curled my hair and my hairdresser went on
Starting point is 00:27:09 the picture and was like, you look like Texas oil divorcee that just got money in. People are ready to razz you. I know how to get myself together. I have makeup here. I know how to get myself together.
Starting point is 00:27:25 I have makeup here. I know how to curl, bump a curl, do this. But I'm telling you, like, ask me if I took a shower. Did you take a shower? Hell no. Hell no, yeah. Look at this outfit. I was donating this outfit to the Salvation Army.
Starting point is 00:27:43 You better put that camera up because our fans are, yeah, I mean, a lot of people are our fans right now. Our tech guy, Mike Emojiface, 100% just screenshotted that and he's going to move his monkey tonight to those dirty, dirty boobies.
Starting point is 00:27:59 These are old grandma, I got grandma titties. That's what Mike's into, he's a freak. Those are not grandma titties, those got grandma titties. That's what Mike's into. He's a freak. Those are not grandma titties. Those are big titties. My grandmother had some big old titties. I mean, Giannis, your hair is fucking wild. I mean, you look like you live in Chernobyl with bangs like that.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I know. I just got out of the shower. It was the first shower I've taken in three weeks. Yeah, because you got a little grain on your chin. I mean, you look... I mean, Kazi, I haven't seen you. I haven't physically seen you in about six weeks. It's been a long time. You know, it's been a real long time. I'm actually just like the, just like the environment starting to recover because we've removed the people, my, my soul and my spirit is starting to recover because I've removed Chrissy. It's what it is. Yeah, my blood pressure's dropped. Yeah, the BP's dropped.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah, no, I know. No, I miss you, cuz. I miss you. Like I said, I'm going to come to Bay Ridge. We're going to run down the water like chariots of fire. I miss you. Let's go fucking visit Yamanika's house and then call her ex-boyfriend because he probably thinks she's not seeing him because of the corona,
Starting point is 00:29:01 and let's just say she saw us, no problem. Listen, my house is open to everyone, probably think she's not seeing them because of the Corona. And let's just say she saw us. No problem. Listen, I, my house is open to everyone, but you got to have a mask and you got to take a Lysol bath. That's what it is. Come over there. We'll fucking feed Queens and Westchester and Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Yeah. A hundred percent. Oh my God. All right. Well, yeah. Thank you. So where,
Starting point is 00:29:22 what can people find? Where can people find you? Cause I saw that. I mean, all the videos you do are 10 out of 10s, but what else you got going on? Yeah, I know. It's like, well, here's what I had going on. Six months worth of gigs that disappeared. Same. But, you know, it's like, ciao. But Chloe Hilliard and I do a live every Monday and Friday. I know Chloe. You guys are friends again? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:49 You guys were. Where you guys been? I just wanted to bring it up because you had a feud for a long time. Yeah. Well, it was two years in the grand scheme of things. Yeah. I got to say, I did your podcast once when you guys were together, and it was really funny when you guys were together and
Starting point is 00:30:05 it was it was really funny you guys are really funny together because you complement each other yeah and that's and and we got to explore that even more on um i mean we were already doing stuff together but we got to explore that even more with uh this week at the cellar because we got to do a lot of tables together right because they saw that our chemistry was great so you know we do that mondays and Fridays. I still have my podcast. I would love to have both of you guys on, not as a group,
Starting point is 00:30:31 but individually. Yeah. As a group, it's too much. No, not that it's too much, but I want to, I don't want to,
Starting point is 00:30:37 one of the things I always tell people about Chloe and I is like, we're individuals, you know, we may be doing something together, but we ain't like, you know, frick and frack or whatever the fuck. We ain't like some, you know, you know be doing something together, but we ain't like, you know, frickin' frack or whatever the fuck. We ain't like some, you know what I'm saying? She bleed on a whole different week than I do.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Me and Giannis bleed on the same week. That's the difference. So that's it. You guys can catch me on anything. I mean, just in social media. And I just look forward to the future of like, what creativity is going to come out of this. And with the restrictions that we have, what we're able to do,
Starting point is 00:31:12 I think visual space is going to be more important than ever because people are not going to just start going outside again and acting like everything is okay. No, it's going to be a while. So our whole landscape of what we're doing here in comedy is going to change. It's going to be a lot of this, a lot more podcasts, a lot more stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:31:31 So, uh, you know, and you're so great at it. So you'll have no problem. Yeah. Hopefully none of us will. I mean,
Starting point is 00:31:36 you know, we'll fucking see. Cause some of, cause some of our, some of our fans have, uh, they've already had to go move back in with their parents. Hey Bert.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Yeah. Yeah. Well, my mom's trying to move in with me. So we all, one way or the other, people definitely trying to move in. And I actually think that that's fine. You need family during this time. I would love family now. Well, what do you think? We've been getting people's opinions. When do you think comedy clubs are going to reopen
Starting point is 00:32:03 and have patrons be able to come back in? When do you think that's going to happen? Your best guess. You know, they would have to have a vaccine that people trust. And, you know, it's hard to say because they keep saying it's going to go down and then go away,
Starting point is 00:32:24 but then we're going to get hit again. So I think if that's in people's minds that it could come back and we haven't seen how it comes back, what it looks like when it comes back. I think until we hit that second go round, I don't think we're gonna have people at shows. Not, I mean,
Starting point is 00:32:43 unless they're diehard people and I don't even know if I would want to perform in front of people who didn't give a fuck about their lives. I mean, I know comics we don't. So, you know, we're like out there just like, yeah, we gotta work, but... Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, it could be like a year.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Could be like eight months to a year to return to normal. I think it'll be longer than that. Wow. Unless, unless they start just making people take, develop a vaccine and they just start injecting it into like soldiers or prisoners of war or something. With the vaccine, because first of all,
Starting point is 00:33:20 you're going to have black people who are not going to want to take the vaccine because we've been experimented on before. Right. The Tuskegee men experiment, you're going to have black people who are not going to want to take the vaccine because we've been experimented on before, right? The Tuskegee men experiment, you know, like we're always the Guinea pigs. Um, that was the thing right now in Africa when they were like, no, we don't want to test out this new drug. We're not here to be Guinea pigs. So I think it's going to be hard to get certain people to do it. Um, and you know, aside from that, you also have people, regardless of race, that just don't trust the government. You understand?
Starting point is 00:33:49 Right. Also black people. Yeah. But there's also white people that are just like, you know, the government's trying to take shit from me. They're trying to take my guns. They're trying to take my livelihood.
Starting point is 00:34:00 There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that. A lot of that. And, yeah, they think it's coming lot of that and the guy and and the yeah they think it's coming from the 5g cell phone towers the crazy white people yeah they've already exploded a few of them so i mean people are fucking stupid yeah well definitely i started hearing about the 5g there was you know some of that shit is just so convincing you don't know what to believe you know there was a guy that he did a live and he said he works
Starting point is 00:34:25 at one of these radiology centers in Manhattan and they made him surrender all his badge and stuff. And it was weird. You know, it's just like, I don't know. It's like, we're not in a place where people are getting information and we can trust the sources, right? Remember, you could always trust the news to give you the accurate. And then you found out that the news was also get, some people were getting payola and can, you know, so like there's all kinds of shit happening that you couldn't trust news. Then you started to trust like certain politicians and you can trust them.
Starting point is 00:35:00 So it's like, it's like a clue episode, right? It's an episode of clues. You don't know who the murderer is and in what room they murdered with what piece of equipment. But all you know is somebody getting murdered with some piece of equipment in some room. Right. As much as you can do to make your best guess of what is happening and what can happen you can have all the information to tell you that it's colonel mustard but then at the end of the day it ain't yeah well here's with this specifically i always go i always go like this if there if
Starting point is 00:35:40 there is a conspiracy there's always a conspiracy for money. People do whatever they do, they do it for money. Somebody's benefiting financially. With this, everyone's losing. Everyone's getting slaughtered. The whole world is getting slaughtered for money. Nobody's benefiting. So I'd be hard-pressed to figure out or to hear a theory that made any sense. Is everyone losing money?
Starting point is 00:36:04 Is everyone losing money right now i mean some people could gain all rocks people losing money other people losing money they're booming are the tiger king people losing money no they're making money yeah also the the bidet people people who use water to wash your ass they're making a lot of money too. It was already talked about some insider trade information. People were dropping stocks beforehand and shit that was good. Like at the end of the day, we came up with $3 trillion from where? That's true. You understand? So we have people suffering on the street, homeless, with no place to go, can't eat. We have all these problems, health care. They can't afford to take care of the inner cities and the this and the that.
Starting point is 00:36:53 But the minute everyone is quote unquote affected, we got $3 trillion from where? Did we borrow that from the Chinese? That would be hilarious. Probably. No, it's from the World Bank. And who runs the World Bank? Donald Trump? No.
Starting point is 00:37:09 You don't know who runs the World Bank. Who? Yeah. I don't know who runs it. Listen, and I'm not trying to get too deep into shit, because at the end of the day, I just want to be able to wear my hair and cramps and go to Target again. I don't want to get able to wear my hair and cramps and go to target again.
Starting point is 00:37:26 I don't want to get too deep into this, but I'm already going to believe any conspiracy because I am a person of color who was already being victimized by a bunch of shit. So yeah, it all sounds right. I don't have anything to hold and I have a pretty good life. I don't have anything to hold on to, to be like, oh no, that's not happening. Oh no, they're not trying to kill us. Oh no. So for me, it's like, I don't know everything and I don't
Starting point is 00:37:54 have all the answers. But if you tell me we are in a deficit and we don't have any money as a country and the minute you need to pull three trillion dollars out of your ass you can there's a lot of questions that need to be asked right have a pandemic and then it just so happens that our president fired the whole pandemic team that's supposed to take care of this which obama has set in place and never replaced them i have a prop like it all sounds crazy when the president keeps getting rid of the people that are there as neutral parties to keep checking balance on him. And he keeps firing all these people. It's like, how do you fire people that are there to make sure you
Starting point is 00:38:35 stay honest? So it's a lot of questions not being answered. A lot of people are not thinking outside the board. You got a lot of angry white people who are angry because all these minorities are coming in and taking over everything. But then you also just heard that minorities are dying more than anybody else. So they can't be living that well. So it's just a bunch of everybody's arguing. Everybody, people, everybody hate everybody. People sick. Everybody is just a bad time racially, economically.
Starting point is 00:39:03 We're all fighting. We're all scared we're all looking at each other as the enemy and then meanwhile somebody is taking this time when we're all focused on either hating each other because of race hating each other because of religion hating each other because of sex and you know sexuality and things like that and focusing on each other to go, all right, let's start grabbing all the money we can grab
Starting point is 00:39:29 because we all getting ready to go to Mars anyway. Like, this shit will be ellipsium. You understand? They will leave us here to argue and fight and shit and you ain't think they ain't got shit already up in Mars?
Starting point is 00:39:40 Oh, they got shit up there. They got shit. If Joe Biden wants any chance, he needs to hire you as his vice president. I mean, other ones... He's not going to beat Trump anyway, let's be honest. No, you know, here's the
Starting point is 00:39:53 thing. This idea of whether somebody could beat Trump or not beat Trump, there's no reason for Trump to be in office. And when I say things like that, then I start people, this is why people go, oh, here she goes on the race thing.
Starting point is 00:40:10 President Obama was a senator before becoming president, and they said he had no qualifications to be president. And then we elected a man who had no qualifications, has never ran or held a political office, be president. And then the narrative changed to, oh, well, he's a businessman. Yeah, but every business he's
Starting point is 00:40:34 ever had, he's ran into the ground. He's a failed businessman who's bankrupted himself numerous times. So if we can't acknowledge the fact that we allowed this guy to be president just because he is a rich white man, then we can't come together on anything. I think more than any guest we've ever had in our life, our fans are going to hate masturbate to you a lot because they're all Trump fans. And what you just said about Trump is true, but they're going to get mad at you, but still masturbate. But it doesn't matter. You know what's so funny is, as a black woman, I get labeled with all kinds of shit, whether people, like, bad attitude,
Starting point is 00:41:16 people don't want to fuck with black women, black women ain't shit, da-da-da-da. But then when the whole world starts to collapse, everybody go running to black women for their answers or for a hug or for help. And I'm telling you, I'm not the black bitch that's to hug and help you because I don't give a fuck enough. You understand? Yeah. I really don't. I'm just telling you, whether you believe in what I'm saying about Trump or not, you should ask yourself these questions. How did this guy get in office to do the things that he's doing and to also take a look at it is
Starting point is 00:41:48 now because he's saying oh coronavirus is disproportionately killing black people and hispanic people you don't think there's white people going oh thank god i thought i had to worry about the coronavirus like they're just saying shit to make people comfortable. Right. We don't have any numbers. Make no mistake that while it may be a case that it is disproportionately killing people of color, it ain't like it ain't killing white people. Right.
Starting point is 00:42:17 And now that they've made it a minority disease, now you're going to start seeing people go outside. The telephones are gonna start slowing down people are not gonna give a fuck about corona as much because like oh it's just killing black people and then guess what white people gonna go outside think it's just killing black people and die yep yep i agree they're playing games with you guys too it's just that they play a lot of fucking games with us but they also also playing games with y'all.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Well, it's not. I know. It's nice. I felt black this whole quarantine. Yeah. How so? Because you were ice-skating? No, I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I'm just saying. For you, like, you know, because if I go outside because I think it's only a black disease and then I get killed, it's like, that's what it is to be black. That's what I'm saying, what you're saying. Well, it's all a race game, right? Because when the coronavirus first started, they kept
Starting point is 00:43:07 saying black people wasn't getting it. It was only white people getting it. Nasty ass white people who walk outside with no shoes on and kissing dogs in their mouths, that's who's getting it. So all black people walking outside sucking up air. And the next thing you know, guess what?
Starting point is 00:43:24 Black people disproportionately died of the coronavirus They just ping pong and race shit Across the board Now white people gonna be out at the motherfucking beach Skipping and shit Having damn orgies and ping pong tournaments And they gonna be dying Cause they got motherfucking coronavirus
Starting point is 00:43:39 This is gonna be like uh oh white people disproportionately died Of the coronavirus Yeah White people can't stay away from those fucking beaches No uh-oh, white people disproportionately died of the coronavirus. Yeah. White people can't stay away from those fucking beaches, no? We love the beach. They can't stop going to beaches. In Georgia, the beach
Starting point is 00:43:56 is open, and I'm like, what the fuck? I don't want to hear shit about Big Mama eating pig feet when you got 7,000 white people trying to catch a fucking wave. I agree. There's no argument. What is this about when people were saying that Big Mama's eating pig feet
Starting point is 00:44:18 and that's where the coronavirus is coming from? That's a 10 out of 10. coming from that's a 10 out of 10 they're saying that because black people are predisposed to diabetes and high blood pressure and they don't tell you like how that came first of all there's no predisposal there is people in populations and areas where they shouldn't be so if you got black people will thrive in Africa. You understand? So this is a plus for all the white people that go, go back to Africa. We would love to,
Starting point is 00:44:50 because we would thrive there. But also if we go back to Africa, you motherfuckers got to go back to where the fuck y'all came from. Cause the damn sure wasn't here. So when people, when we talk about people living in their environment, we do a lot to make sure that white people thrive in this environment. My hair cannot thrive in the same shit that your hair thrives in.
Starting point is 00:45:12 I can't access this. You can't access the sun. Like I access the sun. So I can't, I can't access the beat the way you access the beat. Okay. Yeah. Well,
Starting point is 00:45:21 a lot of shit. It's a lot, but you can, there's a, there's a Scottish beat you can jump on. You can jump on that shit, but you can't jump on Beyonce's lemonade. No, I can't do it. I got some rhythm, but Chris can't. I mean, Chris looks like he's getting burned by a
Starting point is 00:45:41 car cigarette lighter when he dances. Yeah, I'm clunky as fuck. I'm clunky Chris D. Has Chris D ever hit on you? We made out on Stupid Questions. We, anytime I can get my lips in or around his face, I do it. Now,
Starting point is 00:45:58 in terms of, in terms of the reality is, I, because, you know, Chris, you know you've been down the chocolate train, but I'm like whatever the top level to like the Pokemon shit, like I'm
Starting point is 00:46:15 at that level the top level, yeah like your big black bitch with heavy titties and a fat pussy like that's a big you can't just that and you can you can fuck a skinny black bitch and you know they're like oh my god i'm a black girl you know that bitch but when you talk about you leveling up to the top dragon
Starting point is 00:46:36 yeah well listen if this thing keeps going let's do it for the patreon Yeah. Well, listen, if this thing keeps going, let's do it for the Patreon. On my fans only page. Yeah. 5,000. Well, Yamanika, thank you so much, babe. Of course, we love you. Always welcome.
Starting point is 00:46:58 You're one of our favorite guests. Thank you. I had a ball with you guys. I enjoyed you guys so much. Thank you. And to your fans, I love you guys, too. She's the best. Go follow Yamanika Sanders, one of the funniest comedians on the planet. Thanks for being here. Love you, babe. Bye. Thank you.

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