History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 163 - The History of the News is WILD!
Episode Date: August 12, 2020The boys try to make sense of the current state of the news media but exploring its history. WHEN DID THE NEWS START CUZ?! Has fake news always been a thing?! LETS GET WILD!Want more Hyena content? Ch...eck out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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This episode is brought to you by Hawthorne.
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Go to hawthorne.co.
Use the promo code WILD.
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It just smells really, really, really good.
And for the first time, I do feel like the natural man that my mother says I am,
but I don't feel like on the inside.
It's hawthorne.co.
The last M is for you.
You're a man.
What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas.
Chrissy D., Yanni P., I'm tired. I had too many zucchini slices in a black and white.
Yeah, but here's the thing. This is going to be a great episode because we started it with zucchini slices.
That's what it is.
So when you have zucchini slices, you're going to take a little dip.
Yeah. And it's not because of the zucchini. It's because of the bacon they hide underneath the cheese. It's what it is. So when you have zucchini slices, you're going to take a little dip. Yeah.
And it's not because of the zucchini.
It's because of the bacon
they hide underneath the cheese.
It's what it is.
But then we always finish strong.
Always finish strong.
Today's episode is about
the history of the news,
which I might call
the history of the snooze.
You're not here for this.
I'll tell you.
I'm not here for this topic.
This is make no mistake.
This is Giannis Papas, a.k.a. Yannianni the topic pick there we go we can't yeah that you got some time i say the f-word
venetia is going to throw a cookie at me we can keep track at home how many cookies get thrown
at me yeah i mean yaya's cookies are in the building they may come a fly in they may come a
fly in but yeah so we'll just call them listen we're going to cackle it. But you know what? This is a topic from YTF.
You fill in the blanks, you know what it is.
Because, I mean, we are the news for about 800 people every morning.
And I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Yeah, every time I see a new militia popping up, I say,
I hope that's not the hyenas listening to WEPA.
Yeah, I mean, I hope that's not the hyenas listening to Weppa. Yeah.
I mean, here's the thing.
News has become entertainment.
It's content now.
We could be news anchors because now it's gone back to like where you could just be
an amateur with the camera.
You're part of the news.
It's almost back to village gossip.
It's amazing how far we've come technologically has brought us right back to the Greek village.
And that's why I want to burn Venetia because she's having sex before marriage.
It's what it is.
And I think we should go back to old Greek village rules.
Listen, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
We do Wep in the morning every day.
We're doing a lot of stuff down there.
Also, go to christycomedy.com.
I got a show august 29th
monmouth racetrack all socially distanced all spread out come get your tickets august 29th
christycomedy.com historyhahenas.com august 12th i'm in royersford pa and then i'm at distress
factory um last weekend of september with so vinnie brand with vinnie brand so those tickets
are being posted recently
but you can go get them
at Distress Factories.
Yeah.
And stand-up's over.
So we're going to
push out these
last few shows
but I mean the motivation
to do it is almost
at a sit-all.
I'd rather just sit
in these West Elm chairs
and read notes
off the TV
that Venetia hired
an intern to do.
Here's what we're going to do.
In the future
when this thing is done we're going to start. In the future when this thing is done,
we're going to start doing shows in people's basements.
I don't understand why none of the teams that need new names
because their teams are racist and sexist
picked the Hyenas as their name
because they are the original chicks with dicks.
They are the original trans animal.
And I'm a little upset at the animal advocacy groups
and the LGBTQ community to not take the opportunity advocacy groups and the lgbtq community to not
take the opportunity to change the name from the washington redskins to the washington hyenas or
the washington trans animals i don't know why they didn't take that opportunity because that is an
amazing point that only means one thing yeah you're putting a bunch of people on notice so
it's what it is you guys are all pieces of shit scumbags and you know it and
nothing's real ryan reynolds apology is fake it's all fake it's all fake and that's why the history
of the news is interesting because it's fake as a matter of fact the news was created by the actor
diorna uh which is from 59 bce or 59 bec bacon egg and, and cheese. And it recorded important daily events such as public speeches and also executions and
whatever else they were doing back then and fucking each other in the ass.
Because make no mistake, ancient Rome, like ancient Greece, was three letters.
Give me a G, give me a A, give me a Y.
We just broke every single rule of not cursing before the five minutes.
But we are the hyenas.
You get what you get. And S-Low-K-S.
It's what it is.
It doesn't matter.
These ads are going to be flagged anyway.
It doesn't matter.
Also, ads don't even pay that much.
We found out what some of the other podcasts are making off ad money.
It's just not even really that great anyway.
So you know what?
Take your body soap and shove it.
I got light.
I've gone down.
Hold on.
My blood pressure.
When I laugh too hard, my blood pressure drops.
It goes down.
Is that because I'm an old man or is that genetic?
What happens?
It's genetic and it's probably genetic.
It's your old man.
Why do I almost faint when I laugh really hard?
Because I think you're such on the cusp.
I think you're 51% testosterone, 49% estrogen.
And then when you laugh like that because you laugh like such a little girl, it just flips quick.
And it puts a switch out the same way Tim Dillon has to reset his eyes because his gay resets.
Yeah, he's got to reset the gay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the truth is, that's why the fans at Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, you're our untouchable group.
You're the group that we love the most because we know you're not going anywhere and everything else is solid.
Except at the end of the month
when you dip down about fucking a thousand.
Yeah, that's the only issue.
But other than that,
we know you guys are here to stay
and we love you so much.
Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys
and support the matriarchy.
But yeah, and also in 59 BCE
with the act of Diorna
where the news came from,
fake news took off at the same time too.
So as long as there's been news,
there's been fake news.
It's just at a fever pitch now.
Because I loved it.
Just even in ancient Rome,
they called things
acta diarna.
It just sounds like a dish
that it just sounds like
something I want to order
at an Italian restaurant.
Acta diarna.
Can I get the acta diarna?
Acta diarna.
Please welcome the co-host,
the Italian model,
acta diarna.
Yeah, and you would get it
and you would get the waitress. If the waitress served it to you and something was wrong with the waitress, you wouldn'thost, the Italian model. Acta Dio. Yeah, and you would get it. Because I would like to.
If the waitress served it to you and something was wrong with the waitress,
you wouldn't be able to eat it.
I feel like, yeah, it's just what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, don't.
Let's cackle that out because that's just mean.
I'm just being silly.
The other stuff, including the Hawthorne shit.
Yes, let's keep it in.
But I'm sorry about that one.
Cackle that out because that's mean and it's just, you know, it's my own thing.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's interesting, you know.
I don't even know.
What was I saying before?
Well, I'll just kick you.
You reset your gay and I'll just take us back to the timeline.
News basically started as gossip when we were an agrarian society, when we were a preliterate society.
It was just gossip.
Anyone could be the news.
when we were a preliterate society.
It was just gossip.
Anyone could be the news.
And make no mistake,
the most interesting part about this research for me was finding out that news originated with fake news.
Yeah.
Because when anything's in the hand of the people,
I mean, people are just going to lie.
Yeah, they're just going to lie.
It's the same thing that happened in the Revolutionary War.
Benjamin Franklin was lying,
saying that the Native Americans
who were fighting on
their british side king george's native americans were scalping the soldiers when in fact they
weren't scalping the soldiers at all but he made up fake news but the truth is i'm not even mad at
that fake news because they were an enemy of the state at the time so i'm all for fake news that
benefits the american public here's another one the vietnam war started with a fake news what
happened because it was reported that a couple of our boats got sank,
but it was us that fucking went on fire first.
So we reported it.
It was the TED.
Can someone look that up?
It's the TED Offensive.
Yeah.
If you guys think out there that your country,
our country cares about us at all, they do not.
You will be a victim of fake news,
and they could care less because it's all hidden black market war war agendas um i just watched a show on amazon prime
called the last narc about the killing of kiki camarena from the season three of the show narcos
on netflix and bubbles the way our government and the cia and the dea are involved is freaking wild
and if i hear los estados unidos one more time or Politicos for politicians, I'm going to fucking stick a can of Koi beans up my ass and yell Trump 2020 when I come.
Es lo que ya.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Es lo que ya.
Yeah, the Tet Offensive.
The Tet Offensive.
I thought it was called the Tet Offensive about Alexandro's comedy.
Yeah, it was.
So, yeah, I mean, this is how the Vietnam War started.
With a fake, fake report to the American people.
The whole fucking Vietnam.
Think about this, cuz.
And also, weapons of mass destruction, also fucking fake news.
It's all fake news.
Fake news did not start with Donnie T going, you are fake news.
You are fake news.
But it is a fun way to tell someone you're not listening to their question by going, you are fake news. Fake news. Yeah, Vietnam, yeah, it's all fake news you're fake but it is a fun way to tell someone you're not listening to their question by going you are fake news fake news yeah vietnam yeah it's all fake news so the ted
offensive yes bullshit it was fake news so fake news news started with fake news and then it's
kind of remained fake news it's mostly fake everyone always put their spun on uh their spin
on it until there was like we had a little moment in history and maybe only in our country
right like in america where for a second there was a standard that you had to live up to
60 minutes was one of those those things that started that tried to give you you know real
fucking because let me ask you a question when you were a kid 60 minutes was the first news program
to be profitable in our country. How wild is that?
When you were 15, 16 years old, did you ever throw in the stockings
and crank it a little bit to Barbara Walters?
Because I did.
I mean, Barbara Walters had one of the wildest voices.
She had that kind of like, it almost looked like she had a stroke, kind of.
For an old woman, though, I mean, who's hotter than Barbara Walters as an older lady?
I can think of a lot of people who are hotter than Barbara Walters.
As an old woman, though?
Yeah, as an old woman.
Yeah, Cher will fucking get it.
That's what it is.
Cher will get it.
You know who else will get it?
Jane Fonda will get fucking cracked open and clean the fuck out.
Fuck out.
No, Barbara Walters, she just kind of looks like a mom of a friend who you went to camp with
and then you go visit because you stayed in contact
as pen pals but that person lives in the midwest and that's the mom that fucking makes you a cake
she's a midwester mom and i would not hit that that's just what yeah see i would i used to jerk
off a lot to barbara walters yeah but you jerked off to a lot of weird stuff as well it's just what
it is yeah yeah yeah i would also answer answer the door for Chinese food delivery in a giant helmet and high heels
Yeah, my mother's high heels. Yeah, and the giant helmet
Yeah, and then I sometimes do that when the boys weren't over because it just felt good
It was just a fun thing. Is that how your feet got shaped that way?
That's how my feet got shaped. Did you sleep in your mom's high heels?
I would jam them I would jam them in I would jam my feet my mother's high heels when she went to work and then I
And then I'd order beef and broccoli and I'd shit in a little box.
Way song chi high heels when she went to work. And then I'd order beef and broccoli and I'd shit in a little box. Where is Song Chi?
Do you think your mom, how many times do you think your mom had to go back to church after
Sunday to try to pray something the way that she saw you do it?
I think a lot of times.
I think a lot of times.
And I think the fact that the doors of the church, the local Ridgewood Parish, have been
closed because of the pandemic have been really hard on her because, make no mistake, some of the recent choices, mom's
had to do a lot of praying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you probably don't know it.
You probably haven't thought about it at all, but I'm here to tell you that there's been
a lot of conferences on the neutrals between the two matriarchs.
I believe it.
In that building.
100%.
Your aunt and your mom have definitely sat down, a stare apart, a little sideways.
Yeah.
With a little plate of cookies.
Yeah.
A couple of Sankas.
Yeah.
And then some follow-up brews.
Yeah.
And they've been trying to figure out how they're going to get you out of this.
Yeah.
How they're going to reel me in.
And they met and they went like this.
Oh my God.
We don't even have to put our plan into place because Jesus took the wheel and he did it for us.
He did it for us.
And what you said this morning on Wepa in the Morning every day, Monday to Friday,
at patreon.com slash Bray Ridge Boys, saying that I am running around the park.
I'm off the leash running around the park.
Is it 10?
And I think that's what we'll say right now.
When I go wild, you say, Chris is running around the park.
Yeah.
What happens with Christy, I mean chrissy's just a while as you know what chrissy's gotta be unbridled you gotta let him run free he's a fucking stallion it's what you're a
fucking wild horse babe yeah and you can't put a saddle on that fucking horse my butt's too big for
the saddle yeah i mean you're gonna slip off the saddle's gonna fucking slip off you're a wild
horse you gotta run free in the fields. And it's what it is.
And once in a while, you just start kicking.
You start kicking.
And you know when you start kicking?
When?
Whenever you see.
It's just what it is.
You just start kicking them.
It's what it is.
I don't know why.
But you're a wild stallion.
And we'll tackle that part.
But what happens once in a while is just we got a collar and we got a leash on Chris.
But once in a while, the kid just gets loose from his collar
and he just fucking darts into the park.
Everything Venetia told you not to, you do it.
And that's why I love you to death.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Because anytime when she says, make sure not to do that,
I'm pretty sure there's 100% chance it's going to happen.
It's going to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah, you just can't put a fucking saddle on that puppy.
It's just what it is because I'm charged up.
I had a couple black and whites.
I had a YIS cookie.
I had three zucchini slices, and this is my third cup of coffee.
So I'm just fucking charged the fuck up.
You're fully fucking charged, and you know what?
We've got to pick topics that you don't really connect to more often.
Yeah, because look, here it is.
I mean, what do we got?
So the first American.
Yeah, so just tell us what you know about this and why this was interesting to you, Yanni.
Y-T-F.
Well, because it's an interesting topic to think about the history of the news because
the news dictates so much of what your city, your state, your tribe, your village, your
country believes. I mean, it's basically your village, your country, beliefs.
I mean, it's basically your main arm of propaganda.
In Nazi Germany, you know, the people who controlled that party,
the four heads of them, one of them was basically—
I call them the founding fathers.
We need a button.
I'm just kidding.
I know, we can't—it's a joke.
Everyone knows it's a joke.
Yeah, but we need a button.
Can we put that in in post or something?
Yeah, I mean, we need the button back because that's when Chrissy's most comfortable.
And he should be comfortable to make that joke.
Yeah, I should.
But we need to.
If we got to edit that out and we're back.
Yeah, and we're back.
Let's edit that one out then.
Fine.
I thought because I'm wearing the Wei Shaoqing shirt, I'm just going to go free rate.
I thought I could just run around the park because I got the Wei Shaoqing shirt on.
You've had enough.
You want to let go.
You want to run a little bit.
I've just had enough because I'm trying to do comedy.
I'm just doing comedy.
But it's like anything you say in today's world can't be taken as comedy because so many unfunny people have been rewarded by fucking comedy.
So many unfunny people in our world in the past 20 years have just gotten shows
and specials and you've never been funny and you never be funny but you got fucking opportunities
because the world's been bullshit well now that donnie t is here to stay the truth is coming out
and the funny people will remain funny because i fucking have always been funny because I was molested by a priest.
Clip it.
It's character piece.
I mean, that's a clip, right?
Yeah.
I mean, phones are going off.
This one's going to be a fucking wild.
You heard it right there.
We'll be right back.
That was Walter Cronkite with the news. What is?
Yellow journalism is widely understood to describe salacious, over-the-top, scandal-driven journalism.
We call it, in America, colloquially, we call it tabloid journalism.
Right now you can't tell the difference between tabloid journalism
and regular journalism.
But like I said, it was really always like that, which is amazing.
Everyone thinks fake news has become a recent problem,
but it has always been that way,
except, like I said, for this little point in history where the FCC instilled what's called the Fairness Doctrine, I believe, in 1945.
Was it 45 or 35?
1945, the Fairness Doctrine, which basically was the FCC saying, hey, babe, you got to try to be fair.
You got to try to be objective.
And you got to talk about stuff that has national interest.
So it's for the people.
You have to try to be balanced.
But then Reagan got rid of that shit in 84.
Right.
So a lot of fucking libs.
What do we got?
87.
87.
He got rid of it in 87.
So it went from 45 to 87.
49 to 87.
So the Fairness Doctrine started in 1949.
We're not a real history
podcast at all.
Do you think anybody
like in the deep
outer boroughs
of Brooklyn or Queens
calls the coronavirus?
I mean,
what?
I mean,
it's,
there's definitely,
it's been said
in a few bars
in Ridgewood for sure.
It's just what it is.
And I'm not saying
I'm happy about it,
but I'm,
it's not,
but it's just interesting
how,
we could cut that out. It's definitely, I mean, no, but you're saying somebody else calls it that. I'm not saying I'm happy about it, but it's just interesting. We could cut that out.
It's definitely...
I mean, no, but you're saying somebody else calls it that.
I'm saying I wonder if somebody else ever called it that, and that's not appropriate.
Yeah, no, that's definitely not appropriate.
Let's go to the FCC.
You guys are going to have a lot of post work to do here.
I mean, there's a lot of stuff we've got to cackle out.
Let's go to the FCC, the Federal Communications Commission, or I like to call it the Federal
Communism Commission, because they required licensed radio and television broadcasters to present fair and balanced coverage
of controversial issues of interest to their communities by deviating equal airtime to opposing points of views.
And I kind of, in the capitalist form, why just think if you're funnier and better, then you just get more airtime?
Yeah, so, well, actually, it's funny that you say that because a lot of people who are against the Fairness Doctrine would say that.
Say, hey, freedom of speech, First Amendment, you can say whatever you want.
You say whatever you want, babe.
Say whatever you want, babe.
And it's like, if I want to turn up, it's like, you know, it's like, look, leave it up to me as a consumer.
I watch what I want to fucking watch.
If I don't want to see any more detailed coverage about whatever your bullshit point of view is,
and I want to watch the other person, then that's what I'll do.
The only problem is when you get such a big society, you get such a big country,
somebody has to be acting
in the public interest
to tell them the truth.
If the people really do rule,
if the people really,
if the government is by the people
for the people,
then you gotta have somebody
who's acting on behalf of the people
and not the interest.
Because if I'm telling the news
and I'm telling it
just to be entertaining
or if I have an agenda
because I have some alliance
with some company or something like that,
then that's not really for the people.
That's the big irony of freedom and democracy.
It's like if you want the people to rule,
something has to be in the public interest
and for it to be in the public interest,
it can't be capitalist,
which is the best system for personal freedom
in the economic realm is capitalism.
So it's a little ironic.
What do we do?
Rub some Hawthorne soap on it.
The Fairness Doctrine was perceived by some as an infringement of the right to freedom
of speech.
In 87, the FCC formally repealed the Fairness Doctrine, but maintained both the editorial
and personal attack provisions, which remained in effect until 2000.
And then, yeah, and then 2001 happened and everything changed.
And then everything changed after that.
That could be a direct result in 9-11
is because the fairness doctrine went away.
You never know how these chains of events unfold,
but one thing could have led to another.
Without a doubt, I haven't really done my causal research on that.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Probable.
Here we go.
And then consequences of partisan news coverage examples
were one of the examples is South African president Thabo Mbeki
claimed that anti-retroviral drugs
were part of a Western plot
and that garlic and lemon juice
could be used to treat AIDS.
And then over 300K died.
I mean, so it sounds a little Trumpy
what's going on.
When he's like,
hey, just drink your fish tank water
and your corona's gonna go away.
Yeah, yeah.
That's exactly the point.
So here's an example of fake news
that was very harmful to certain people.
So is it important to be objective in news?
I guess.
I mean, you know, but if you look...
Here, this one's about climate science right here.
They say global warming became deeply partisan in the 90s.
Oil companies started doing their own research
and they wanted media coverage.
Simultaneously, they were contributing money to
and lobbying government officials.
All this was merely manufactured,
all this was to merely manufacture doubt
meant to obscure the fact
that the world's climate scientists
had all but reached consensus
on the fact that climate change was occurring
and that human activity was responsible for it.
And as long as there are skeptics out there,
the media felt duty-bound to report climate change as a disputed topic
when it really shouldn't be disputed at all.
So that's what it is.
So they're saying that scientists had already reached the consensus,
but the controversy was a political one that had been stirred up by the oil companies.
And that's what I guess is happening with corona right now,
when they're creating, I guess in some ways, ways when people say why are they taking away videos of the
plandemic but they're leaving up videos of whatever white supremacy and i guess this is why because
they're saying you guys are creating this controversy that can really do a lot of harm
because we think that you know if you listen to the scientists they're all saying this is what
you do to stop corona but then you know other people are saying yeah all you listen to the scientists, they're all saying this is what you do to stop corona.
But then other people are saying, yeah, all you got to do is drink your fish tank water and you're good.
I think maybe at this point you just let it all fly.
That's what I'm saying.
Maybe you just go, hey, look.
Let's open up 100%. Yeah, you say let's open up 100% and whatever you want to say on the news, you can say on the news.
You want to do whatever.
You want to say whatever.
You want to lie.
You want to create fake news.
You want to do real news.
It's up to you
Whatever people get get hoodwinked by it or manipulated by it so be it whatever happens happens
May the best group win may the best person win and we go full Darwin Awards and see who makes you makes it
I think that's the only way to do it at this point. We've made it this far. We've done everything
Yeah, let's have a full- on war games and see who fucking wins.
Let's just see who does it.
I'm very well.
I'll go out.
If you opened up 100% right now, I'd go out.
I'd keep the mask on at all times because I understand that that's important.
I'd wash my hands.
I do my due diligence.
But it's like to have these little plans and say you can't open here, you can't open there.
You're getting to the point of this real civil unrest coming.
And I just don't know what else to do but vote for Donald Trump.
Now, do you think it's better to have accredited journalists
that went to school, are journalists, they're regulated,
or you just think have a phone, go, write it, blog it down, and go with it?
Which one do you go?
Just blog it down because everyone's saying, like, oh, trial by Twitter,
you know, we don't do process.
And it's like, yeah, due process is gone.
It's not about this cancel culture.
They're not about, they don't care about due process.
Nobody's going to jail.
It's just like this thing that they fucking want to.
I think the best thing we could do as a country is get rid of Twitter.
I think if we lose TikTok, lose Twitter, and honestly lose Instagram,
even if it hurt my career a little bit, I would feel so much better.
So you're for government regulation.
I want it all to go away.
I think social media is an experiment
that is proven to not be working.
I think if you try to band us all together,
it does not work.
And I think that the only thing that works
is us staying in kind of our little bubbles.
It's like, it's good when you only know
the people in your neighborhood.
That's great.
I don't think there's any reason that I should be friends with someone on the other side of the world and be able to communicate with them like that it does
us no good we're living in two different worlds it just creates all these false false premises
on both sides and i want it all out and fuck you aoc lot of 14 it's what it is there you go there's
the official statement from the history hyenas news. It's what it is. There you go. There's the official statement from the History Hyena's news organization.
It's what it is.
That's what we need to do.
You got, yeah, from Cuckard Carlson.
And I'll just call you Anderson Cooper because you're YTF.
What does that mean?
Yanni Trans?
Yanni.
Yanni.
Yanni the friend.
Yeah.
Yanni the fudgy.
Yanni the fudgy yogurt because he's Greek.
Yeah. It's Greek. Yeah.
It's what it is.
I mean,
because right now
we're living in a
post-truth society.
Well,
what do they say
about the influx of social media?
I don't know
because I can't see
the fucking screen.
Okay,
here we go.
When are we going to get
the fucking thing
to put it up there?
The rise of social media
has facilitated
an informational free-for-all
with fact and opinion
now presented side by side
on the internet with no filters and no vetting readers and viewers are readily exposed to a steady
stream of pure partisanship social media is a source of news blurred the lines even further
between news and opinion as people shared stories from blogs and alternative news sites as if they
were all true in a recent pew poll 62 percent of u.s adults reported getting their news from social
media and 71 of that was from facebook this means that 44 of the total adult u.s population now gets
its news from facebook whose owner whose creator mark zuckerberg zuckerberg went to venezuela and
got butt implants and fucking comes out with cum all over his face and goes surfing in Hawaii.
So that's what it is.
There was actually right now a scientist who was using a fake Twitter account for like
a couple years and was reporting on all these injustices that were happening to people who
had different sexual orientations.
And it turned out that it was just all fake news.
She created a fake account.
I believe it. And was pretending to be this social justice warrior person. And that person didn't
exist. It's all fake. And that person was always advocating for her, like for tenure for her and
stuff like that. Right. And also this this make believe scientist became beloved by all these
other kind of scientists. she created a woke hero on
Twitter that didn't exist look at Tim Dillon look at Tim Dillon's post last
week when he said put Ellen in jail and then he gets written up in Newsweek for
likes a celebrity speaking out against Ellen and they earnestly wrote that he
thought that they thought he believed she should be put in jail it's like what
the fuck is going on what's going on is the standard for journalism has dropped so low and things move so quick,
and they're not held accountable.
It's wild because me and you were held accountable for some strange reason,
even though it says quite clearly and our profession quite clearly indicates
that we're not required to tell the truth ever.
In fact, jokes are never fucking true.
Otherwise, they're not jokes.
But for some reason,
we're held accountable. But that journalist who wrote that article in Newsweek and told Tim and quoted Tim as saying, put Ellen in jail and thought that he was doing it earnestly, there's
probably no repercussions for that. I know. Which is wild. So I don't know because the big question,
do we need a new fairness doctrine or some type of doctrine that says, hey, babe, you got to try to tell the truth or else we're going to put you in jail or burn you at the stake like a woman who's having premarital sex in the Greek village?
It's what it is, cuz.
Yeah.
We need to do something with these journalists.
We got to put their feet to the fire.
For some reason, we're taking heat.
I know.
Why are comedians taking heat?
What the fuck is going on?
Cuz, I got a new fairness doctrine, and it called the Snappin' Fuckin' 2.
I like it.
That's the new
fairness auction
I'm going to call it
Snappin' 2.
Because if you fucking
want to write an article
that I don't think is fair,
guess what?
Now you're going to see
somebody come at you
in a different way.
Fucking different way.
Is all of this John...
Can we hire John A.
to be our security?
Absolutely.
He just comes at people
in a different way.
I'll come see you
in a different way.
I'll give you an opportunity. Steps up. You're going to comes at people in a different way. I'll come see you in a different way. I'll give you an opportunity.
Steps up.
You're going to get come seen in a different way.
We will come see you in a different way.
I'll take money from the patron to hire John A. Light to come see people who want to tweet at us in a different way.
In a different fucking way.
Guys, let me tell you.
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It comes in a nice package.
It made me feel like a man.
Actually, this product, I'm being honest,
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such a part of the patriarchy that I'm going to get taken down for smelling so good that I feel like such like a man that I worry about being such a part of the patriarchy
that I'm going to get taken down for smelling so good because this product just makes me go
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hi, we have to fake it. There's no faking it with this, okay? This genuinely smells fantastic.
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Hawthorne.co.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
It's a lot of this
Jon Stewart's fault
because he was so good
at delivering the news
in a funny way,
making fun of Fox News,
that people started
at that moment,
they started actually
going to comedy central and watching the daily show in order to get their news that was like
the beginning and that was pre-twitter that was pre he was so good at his job it was that the
fucking beginning of the end it might have been that's a very good point yeah because now like
fucking now they hire people like trevor people trevor knows. These are comedians, man. So it's like, is that the people's fault?
Or was it a byproduct of him being so good at his job?
Or was it because media was failing so bad?
Because at the time, CNN had Crossfire on,
or it was Tucker Carlson in a fucking bow tie,
a cross from some other fucking idiot.
I don't even remember his name.
And they would argue every issue.
And it was theater.
It became like theater.
Do you think that there is a platform that some presidential candidate or governor high-ranked
politician can run on and and and make claims that social media is destroying us and get rid of it or
do you think we're living in a world where social media cannot go away and it will not go i don't
blame social media to be honest with you if you want my opinion i blame uh private news some things
can't be private they can't there needs
so do you think that can change or it's like health care where we're in too deep and you can't
make the news private just like you can't make health care public and you can't make either one
of them public it's fine to have subscription-based news that's fine okay there's always fine to have
a private option for everything but uh you can have your own private uh let's say acre of land
for example but you also have to have public parks or else you don't have a city.
You don't have a village.
You don't have a town.
But isn't like New York One, isn't that public?
Isn't that like – New York One is not public.
What's like a –
NPR is public.
NPR is just terribly underfunded and it needs to be funded more and it needs and that's it yeah chris
gethard show was on the public access it was a public access network and how's she doing
there needs to be a standard for truth that you these people need to be held accountable
i love you chris you have to evolve to have a standard to hold these people accountable for
what they say yeah i mean if like you just if you're a journalist and you say hey boom and it
turns out that that's false yeah somebody's got to go, hey, you can't do that.
Yeah.
You can't do that.
And you've got to prove whether he was intentionally doing that or not.
You've got to do that.
So I don't blame social media in the sense because this started with cable news.
Yeah.
That's where it started.
Fucking see, I blame Ted Turner and I blame Fox News.
I blame your neighborhood.
It's what it is.
I'm just kidding.
What can you do?
So now we're living in the phenomenon of post-truth. I blame your neighborhood. It's what it is. I'm just kidding. What can you do?
So now we're living in the phenomenon of post-truth.
And that rocketed to public attention in November of 2016 when, you know, you know what happened in November 2016.
You know what happened, baby.
Panatea's mom started developing heart palpitations.
She cannot handle
Donald Trump
because isn't it funny
when you go to
someone's Facebook page
and you can tell
how much they can't
handle whoever's in office
yeah it's just what it is
yeah
I mean there's
if you go to some
kids in Long Island's page
during the Obama
administration
it's shit
they're not talking
about their family
there's just a bunch
of articles
that are just
you don't want to see
about Obama
it's just what it is and now it's like a lot of people hate Trump just you don't want to see about obama it's just
what it is and now it's like a lot of people hate trump the same way i know i think the orange man
brought us into the golden years but here it is so it's defined as post-truth is defined as relating
to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public
opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief post-truth is not so much a claim that
truth does not exist as that facts are subordinate to our political point of view.
So, I mean, that feels pretty accurate to what's going on right now.
That feels very accurate. That's what it is. I worked for a media company for a little while
when I had that show on Fusion, and they were owned by ABC News. All the people that worked
there were in the news business beforehand working for ABC News. And I can tell you,
there's a pressure now, especially with the internet and how fast things move,
but there was probably a pressure back then before the internet when it was just cable news to get ratings.
Right.
So it's like what gets ratings more, right?
Right.
What gets ratings more?
You know, a comedian delivering his version of the news?
No.
Or a partisan, a charismatic partisan personality delivering,
or some boring guy just sitting there going,
these are the facts.
The same way Donald Trump is,
there's so many pictures of Donald Trump
hanging out with Hillary Clinton,
and they're all friends.
It's the same thing with the news people.
You really think Anderson Cooper and Tucker Carlson
don't fucking privately tag?
They're all fucking,
they're playing on teams.
Right.
Just the same way,
you know,
Magic Johnson and Larry Bird would hang out, because they're playing on teams. Just the same way Magic Johnson and Larry Bird would hang out because they're playing on different teams.
All these people are rich fucking white.
They don't give a fuck about you.
Just like George Carlin would say, they don't care at all.
They have so much money, they're just playing for whatever team
they're supposed to be playing for.
They don't give a fuck.
They don't give a fuck.
No, it's all content.
It's all a show. It's all it's all content it's all a show
it's all theater and i think that that's sad the people should at least have a very strong power
60 minutes is like the only good news show at all anywhere right where else is it what's what's
what's reliable news now with the associated press which is old school, Reuters, maybe.
The New York Post.
I mean, what is like good, solid, reputable news?
It's crazy.
And then to think once the subscription model went out, like it used to be you had the New York Times had a standard that they held themselves to.
You had the New York Times, Boston Globe, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Sun. And those were all held up by subscription.
By subscription.
People would subscribe.
They made money.
And so they were held to a certain standard by their subscribers.
And then once that went out the window and the internet came,
the newspaper business in order to stay in business had to get a little more racy
to get clicks because they became really dependent on advertisers and not subscriptions.
So I'm talking to you people out there.
Go to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and support the subscription model or else we're
going to start fucking shucking and jiving to sell Joy Dish Soap.
And it's going to be your fault when Chrissy can't say anything and we're both replaced
by women.
It's going to be your fault because you didn't support us.
Go watch Weapon in the Morning every day.
Every freaking day.
And wash your butt with Hawthorne soap.
Hawthorne.co.
Yeah.
So here we go.
So do you know any of these people?
Janet Cook?
Personally, I do.
Yes.
So tell me about these people.
Because you did some research.
You read about these people.
What is it?
Well, you got Jason Blair.
You got Sabrina Eardley.
So who are they?
They're fucking journalists.
Right.
And they were caught plaguing. Well, here we go. Sabrina Erdley. So who are they? They're fucking journalists. Right. And they were caught plagiarizing.
Well, here we go.
Sabrina Erdley.
Let's read.
Former journalist and American magazine reporter who in 2014 authorized an article in Rolling
Stone describing the alleged rape of a University of Virginia student by several fraternity
members.
The article was later discredited, found to be unsupported by evidence.
So it's basically saying that she reported on this and it was never brought to the court of law because there was no evidence to support that this woman was actually raped.
Yeah.
But Sabrina doesn't go to jail for that.
Exactly.
But she should be.
That's my fucking point.
Venetia, as a woman, just into the mic, should Sabrina go to jail for that or are we kind of not taking it all into consideration?
If it's proven that she did it on purpose, you could see that she ignored evidence
and she did it on purpose.
That's a bad, bad thing.
We go back to Tawana Brawley in New York.
Remember, she said she was raped.
She was lying to people.
You can't really blame the press there, I guess,
but you kind of can because you're going like,
what evidence do you guys have?
Before you make this a natural story,
what's your evidence?
That's what I feel like the problem lies there in that one, where it should be we use the court of law.
We use what we have, the court of law.
They go through our legal system.
We've all agreed upon as American citizens in the Constitution to be tried by a jury of our peers.
We let them go through that process.
Whatever the outcome is, then you can write on it.
Whether it's not guilty or guilty, it should be illegal to write about a case that does not have a verdict yet.
It should be 100% illegal because then you don't have to worry about swaying a jury.
It's like the public should not know until it goes through the court of law.
And I feel like because our whole society is now based in schadenfreude and watching the destruction of man we won't have it the other way
because we're living in like a really really crazy time when in reality i think the founding fathers
would even agree like no we go to the court of law first and then you talk about it because if you do
it the other way the way we're doing it now then there's always a jury that's going to be tainted
all you do is taint right all you do i don't want to hear about i shouldn't have even heard about
bill cosby until it was brought to the proper channels through the court of our law and then we talk about it yeah you're actually
i got to agree with you but you know there's this industry of people who depend on those
salacious stories i know that's what's scary attaching themselves to those stories so they
can make money and get bigger if they solve racism and sexism and individualism and all that every
other isn't
that they want to make up they have nothing to write about they have no jobs that it is in their
duty to keep it alive and isn't it fucking convenient they've made us accountable isn't
that fucking hilarious saying they're not smart isn't it hilarious that comedians are the ones
that are held accountable yeah and who who are we held accountable to who are we held accountable to
journalists that's what it is isn't that fucking funny how you guys have used those mafia And who are we held accountable to? Who are we held accountable to?
Journalists.
That's what it is. Isn't that fucking funny how you guys have used those mafia tactics to hunt us with your articles,
but nobody's holding you fucking accountable.
Yes.
What do you call that?
That's called fucking a smokescreen.
That's called the journalist figuring it out, the journalist figuring it out,
and coming at us in a different way.
They came at us in their way of a different way.
They're using us as a scapegoat.
They're using comedians as a scapegoat while they can continue to just run amok and write whatever.
And it's what it is.
And a lot of them say, I did stand-up three or four times.
No, you're not a stand-up.
You're not a comedian.
You're a fucking small-time journalist.
And guess what, journalist?
Unfortunately, now you've met your match because all you people like to do is say,
well, if you do this and I'm going to write a story,
I'm going to come jam it down your throat or jam it up your ass.
And guess what, baby?
That's the only way I can come.
So good.
Good.
Let's take, for example, you know, it's a very interesting example of all this.
And it brings sort of fake news the modern era
everything into
perspective
was the
the
what
the Covington kids
right
that was a perfect example
those kids walked out
with about 25 mil now
that one kid
the one kid
but hey
at least it's like
and he's not done
he's not done
good and good
he should fucking
hold them over the fire
for that
and I'm not saying that
because it was
Republican versus Democrat
if the same thing if a Democrat was holding a Republican over the fire or that. And I'm not saying that because it was Republican versus Democrat. If the same thing, if a Democrat was holding
a Republican over the fire or a conservative
kid and they were fucking wrong, then the same thing.
Fuck you. Yeah, I mean, he's
now settled. I don't know how many lawsuits he
settled, but he's getting these
media outlets to
really pay up. The settlement's
not disclosed. It's not public knowledge. That's probably
part of the settlement, but he's making
him pay. The kid walked out. Yeah, so as you know. know what's the story again if you don't know the covington story
so this was this little video that actually it ended up uh coming to light that the video
originated from a fake account in brazil that posted an edited version where the this kid
and this native american protest to the bottom right. Right in the right. If you see his glasses and the mustache.
Yeah.
There was Covington kids there,
and they all had, like,
Make America Great Again shirts on or hats or whatever,
and they were, like, high school kids,
and they were on a D-Ski school trip
at the Lincoln Memorial,
and then this protester was there.
Later, we found out,
marched up to them and stood in his face,
but all we saw at the beginning
was the clip of the Covington kid standing there with a little smirk in his face, but all we saw at the beginning was the clip of the Covington kid
standing there with a little smirk on his face
as the guy beat the drum in his face.
So everyone was going,
look at this,
make America great again,
racism,
the smirk that kills.
This is the same smirk of white privilege
I've seen everywhere.
And they were talking about like a 15-year-old kid.
And then the longer unedited version
of the clip came up
and it showed that the native american actually engaged walked into him and the kid actually did
nothing except stand there right full context came out right so he went and sued for libel all these
um all of these news outlets because what happens everyone ran with the story and it's like then
celebrities started retweeting it because everyone wants to look like they're this amazing person that cares when nobody really cares the easiest thing you
can do is retweet or tweet a hashtag it means absolutely fucking nothing yeah why would you
ever want to read a book or do your own research when you can just fucking listen to somebody do
it in 10 seconds on tiktok why or if you want to be a good person, you know what good people do?
They go do shit, and they don't talk about it.
That's what it is.
If you want to go do some fucking work,
go actually get out of your fucking gated community
in Beverly Hills where you're tweeting from,
whatever former child celebrity you are.
That's it.
And go do something,
and stop fucking bragging about it.
That's not what good people do.
I don't want to see,
instead of everybody tweeting come November
and being like, look at what I did,
look at my sticker,
just go do what you're supposed to do,
do the right thing in the voting booth,
put it to the right,
and keep your head down.
That's all you got to do.
I'm not endorsing that.
I'm saying do the right thing.
Go to patreon.com.
I'm saying do the right thing.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, like Spike Lee.
Yeah, I'm saying Spike Lee, do the right,
and I'm capitalizing right yeah i'm saying go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys join the matriarchy
look at all the content we're doing behind the subscription model that's the future of the
comedy business go join go join and by the way obviously support us people don't i'm a comedian
i uh uh you know grew up in new y City, have a multi-ethnic family.
I'm liberal cucked out, Chris.
I just play the character piece like Stephen Colbert.
So some people have messaged me like,
how come you only talk about things to the right?
Because this is the podcast.
We're playing character pieces.
I've only ever voted to the left.
But 2020 is going to be different.
I'm going to come at you in a different way.
You're going to come see you in a different way.
Do you think this would be helpful if we got rid of political parties?
Because people always have yeah uh beliefs and and policy and policies that they believe in or back that kind of run the gamut that are either
uh liberal and like i have something i'm liberal but i would be considered liberal and then some
things i may be considered conservative why do i have to be married to a certain party why does a
candidate have to be married to a certain party in Why does a candidate have to be married to a certain party?
In the gray zone, yeah.
Yeah, why can't we just
look at the dude,
have two dudes,
have them debate,
hear their fucking ideas
and be like,
I like this guy
better than that guy.
Yeah, why does it have to even be
Republican or Democrat?
It's just this individual's running
and that individual's running.
And we also have to do
some standard for that now
because that seal's been broken
and I don't know
if fucking Miley Cyrus
is gonna run
or somebody else i
mean it's got to be some standard where like you go to law school you have to get like a license
to be a politician you have to be a licensed politician i think we need to do licensing at
least like an open mic scene where you can really make your chops it's like you need a license to
like cut hair you need a license to once you get into run for politics you have to get a license
to do it i think that's the way to do it. Let's scroll down.
Let's see what else is going on.
And a license to podcast like we got.
We got a license to podcast.
We got a license to podcast.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, listen, do you want to say anything more about the Fairness Doctrine?
Do you have anything else to add to it?
It's a very interesting thing to go research on your own.
A lot of people blame the downfall on the repeal of the Fairness Doctrine that happened in 1989 during the Reagan administration.
A lot of people say that had nothing to do with it.
You go do your own research.
You be the judge.
Is this all because we lost the Fairness Doctrine?
Do we need another one?
Do we need something new?
Do we need Chrissy Diaz president?
You fucking answer the question.
Because the thing is with me,
with the Fairness Doctrine,
if you voted for me,
if I was mayor of New York City
or president of the United States,
which is pretty much just being president of New Yorkork city is i would just put boxing rings i put
ropes up around certain areas and if you want to fucking the fairness doctrine will be you fight
the fair one within these ropes there's no cops you just box it out and things get physical you
get taken physically because the truth of the situation is this i know everybody wants to dance
around you know everybody wants to be like oh well emotionally politically the truth of the situation is this. I know everybody wants to dance around. Everybody wants to be like,
oh, well, emotionally, politically.
The truth is physicality is the main thing
that measures human being versus human being.
So everyone's just going to get physical
and then we'll see who's going to come out on top.
Take me physically if you want to say some shit.
Forget about court.
Let's get in the confines of the ring.
Because unfortunately I'm going to say you're a candidate, even though you're my friend,
that I'm not going to get behind.
Yeah.
I don't know if I support those policies.
Cuz.
Cuz, I think that's taking us backwards.
I'm not sure.
But I've just got to revoke.
I can't endorse you.
Cuz, listen.
You're YTF, and I'm Chrissy the Hun.
Chrissy the Hun is back, baby.
Chrissy the Hun's back. I'm fucking running through the park. I'm on horseback. I'm aissy the Hun. Chrissy the Hun is back, baby. Chrissy the Hun's back.
I'm fucking running to the park.
I'm on horseback.
I'm a Mongolian chicken.
Did you ever consider growing a man bun?
100%, I would.
I had one.
You had one at one point, right?
It got long enough where I posted a picture
with the man bun on top.
Because let's be honest,
you're a kid who's peaking now
and I'm a kid that peaked early.
I mean, when you look at the old pictures
of me in high school,
I was a stone cold, fully charged, full throttle piece.
And when we look at you at about the same age,
you were 100% special.
But now I look like I'm special and you look like you're peaking.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
It's good, good times.
What can you say?
What can you say?
I mean, listen, this was about the history of
the news i don't know if it was necessarily the history of this news what do you think did anybody
learn anything about the news i i because i think people really are going to enjoy it because first
of all you were fully charged yeah and you were unchained yeah and you got a little loose in the
park again yeah and we also learned a few things yeah so we have some heavy editing to do we got
some heavy editing to do as well. Benatia is upset.
We got a lot of things
for our fans to consider.
One of the good things
about our podcast
is people...
Let's let this one fly
unranked for the 50s.
Should we let this one
fly for the 50s
with no...
For the 50s.
Yeah, but the 50s
got a promise.
I'm talking to you, the 50s.
I'm talking to you, Richie G.
I'm talking to you, Richie G.
Don't be a fucking rat.
Yeah.
Be a fucking cool kid.
We'll tear the whole fucking thing down.
This is for you,
but it's all jokes.
I'm just saying
all the things here are jokes.
If you are a rat,
I'm just saying we were joking.
Yeah, it's what it is.
We're just kidding around.
Here's what I was going to say
was great about our podcast.
What's great about our podcast
is we come at history
in a different way.
And that way is fully charged
Franks and Beans.
But what happens is it gives people some interest in it,
and then they go, you know what?
I listen to the history hyenas, mostly for the hyena,
because the history is Franks and Beans.
I didn't learn a fucking thing.
I got a lot of misinformation and fake news,
but now I'm motivated to go find out what the truth is
because it's definitely not with those two fucking stupid kids.
Stupid kids.
Well, make no mistake though,
now we're freaking really screwed in
and we got a college-aged intern
that's woke and dope
that does the research
and really makes-
So what are we paying Venetia for?
Because Venetia keeps us on track.
It's a joke.
Because Venetia keeps us on schedule
and keeps us on track
and she's the only one
that's going to advocate for me
to take two weeks off
because I'm sick of WEPA.
All right.
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
We're going to read the names of the matriarchy, the newest members of the matriarchy.
Every time you join in at the $10 level, we read your name at the end.
We encourage you to make a funny name, a PPW, Pseudo Penis of the Week.
So here we go.
This is the fun part. This is the fun part.
This is the fun part, and it usually gets good.
I mean, the last couple have been fucking bangers.
When you join, we encourage you to do a funny name.
Every week, somebody wins.
It's a fun game we all play.
And let me just tell you something.
You guys are hilarious.
I just want to celebrate the person.
I said it on web, but I'll say it for everyone to hear.
One of the funniest jokes someone wrote in my comments, one of our fans said,
if my eyes were any closer together, they'd be your feet.
They'd be my toes.
They'd be your toes.
They'd be my toes.
Which is good.
Here we go.
All right, so let's start it up.
Okay, here we go.
Welcome to the matriarchy.
Anna, Mills Pap, Miguel M, Kai Igawa.
Wow, we got a Japanese kid.
Yeah.
Shannon Frazier.
John K.
Moist lips for Giannis' tits.
That's a Drexler.
Tom Mortimer.
Henry Jankowski.
Michael Evans.
Then we got Fred.
My friend stole my piece, and now I'm called a accordion dick.
Stanky nips.
Yeah.
Almost.
Those are two almosts. Those are Drexlers.
Then we got, in 2015, Chrissy finger-banged my asshole while yelling racial slurs.
Hashtag me too.
Hashtag Black Trans Lives Matter.
We can't support it, but it's what it is.
Then we got Ryan bringing the straight white male back.
Okay.
Drexler.
They're both Drexlers because they're funny.
Then we got Jack.
Then we got de Blasio 2020.
De Blasio 2020. Derek Owens.
De Blasio 2020 is a funny, sneaky one.
That's a chicken finger that's going on the list.
Samuel Bowen.
Jeffrey Grubbs.
LGBT Chrissy D.
Put him on the list.
On the list.
Nice chicken finger.
Chaz Pettis.
Then we got Frankie No Fumes.
And make no mistake, I imagine Chrissy D with an axe wound between his legs because I'm an FF.
It's what it is.
Trump 2020.
Gets a laugh, but yeah.
All right.
If you would have stopped at Frankie No Fumes, I think I might have thrown him on the list.
Frankie No Fumes, yeah.
Sometimes you'd be.
I want to put half of his name on the list.
Don't be afraid to just be a chicken finger.
Chicken fingers are great.
Which are simple and easy.
Yeah.
Then we got Cesar Sanchez.
Then we got at Fail T Woodworks.
Buy a table for me.
I'll do it for a...
Okay.
His thing is at
failteewoodworks.
Buy a table
for me. Oh, yeah.
I can't read the end of it. Screwed in kid.
I can't read the end of it, though, but it is funny.
Because it'll make the female in the room
uncomfortable.
Well, just read it. He's got a lot of editing to do anyway.
But we're not going to put that in.
Just edit it, yeah.
Then we got Matthew Heavy Peen Peroni.
Then we got Gary,
this nickname's going to bomb to Steffa Yoff.
Creative Points gets him on the list.
Then we got Ray Nervous Gervous Gervais.
He called himself Nervous Gervous.
Then we got, oh no, Ricky Nervous Gervas Gervas. Called himself Nervous Gervas. Then we got, oh, no, Ricky Nervous Gervas Gervas.
His last name's Gervas.
Okay.
Then we got Grant.
It's hard to think of a name, but make no mistake,
I'll smack Charlemagne and fuck John McCain Horvath.
Got a bad read there.
Can you just one more time?
He spelled it Join McCain.
He meant to say John McCain.
All right.
It's what it is.
You spelled it wrong. You spelled it wrong.
Spelled it wrong.
What were you doing?
Okay.
Next thing you know.
Next one is, what were you doing with my wife at 3 a.m.?
Power washing LLC.
Is that the name of his LLC?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's great.
Put him on the list.
Then we got Father Bill sucked my binky, but my name's not Mike.
Front runner. Front runner.
Front runner, yes.
Then we got Matthew Carpenter.
Then we got Yams, a full three euro, looking to gobble Giannis' giro, Gortek.
If you said it right, it would have gotten bigger.
He belongs on the list.
Yeah.
Put him on the list.
Yeah.
Then we got Marky, parties fully charged with lip gloss on, his stink star.
Mook.
I mean.
Put him on the list.
Stink star is funny, right?
Yeah, I said his stink star is number one.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's better than Smash Bean.
Yeah.
Yeah, my stink star?
Yeah.
Have you ever heard that?
He said he parties with lip gloss on.
Yeah.
He said he's fully charged. He said he's fully charged.
Yeah, he's fully charged.
That's one of my favorites of all time.
And his name's Marky, which I'm a big fan of the name Marky.
Marky.
Then we got Dr. Julian.
Why are there so many Sprite cans on the streets now?
Pino.
Then we got John Schwarzolt.
Then we got Lickin' Yanni's Balloon Knot.
While Chrissy fills me with his gooey hot.
Okay.
Then we got Tyler Fivas.'s balloon knot while chrissy fills me with his gooey hot uh okay then we got tyler fevas paul stephen white evan uh then we got 25 is just blank uh then we got
leaky squeaky pseudo pp of the wiki yas it's his drexler then we got david canales then we got the
fume monkey um we got drexler for the just a good clean, there's a frozen chicken finger, but it was
cooked right.
Then we got Javier Gutierrez.
Then we got Reese.
I love it from behind.
I hate China.
Gay kinda.
Trump 2020.
I mean, really good.
We can't say that we hate China.
We can't say hate.
Yeah, we just, it's really funny though.
Then we got Hunter Tovey, Julian Levy, Vincent Goff.
Then we got, make no mistake,
Hillary is coming for Chrissy Conspiracy.
It's just what it is.
Garrett Dillard.
Then we got cute but vicious pig whore.
Okay.
Then we got Enna, Mills Pap, Miguel M.,
Kay Agawa, Shannon Frazier, John K.,
Moist Lips for Yanni Tits, Tom Mortimer, Henry Jankowski, Michael Evans.
Then we got Fred, my friend, so my peace,
and now I'm called accordion dick stanky nips.
In 2015, Chrissy finger banged my asshole while yelling racial slurs,
hashtag me too, hashtag black trans lives matters.
Then we got...
Yeah, I know we can't say that yeah then we got ryan bringing the straight
white mail back jack de blasio 2020 de blasio 2020 is on the list is on the list already from
before but we got to say it again because we're all over the place with the edits de blasio 2020
then we got so that's a good one we put that on the list so then we got derrick owens african
make no mistake african got on there too you're on the list too african then we got, so that's a good one. We put that on the list. So then we got Derek Owens, Halfrican, make no mistake.
Halfrican got on there too.
They're on the list too, Halfrican.
Then we got, make no mistake,
Antifa's leader, Venetia, did 9-11.
Then we got Squatchit, Adam Cristolini.
Wait a second.
Squatchit is nice.
Yeah.
I'm going to give it to Drexler.
It's one of my favorite Drexlers though.
Squatchit, yeah.
Then we got Adam Cristolini,
Jeff Lawrence, Jake Walker.
Then we got Chrissy, DP me,anni P on me, because make no mistake,
I got the marriage license signed for all three of us in a polyamorous relationship.
So here you go.
That's what it is. So I think, I mean, listen, let's read back who the winners are.
But, I mean, I think the winner is going to be, I think, I mean, we can read the names,
but why waste time?
It's Marky Parties Fully Charged With Lip Gloss On His Stink Star Mook.
Yeah, yeah. names but why waste time it's marky parties fully charged with lip gloss on his stink star mook yeah yeah i mean his name's marky mook i mean marky mook marky party's fully charged with lip
gloss on his stick star number one of all time let's make let's give him the whole let's give
him right now who's been better ever who's been pure funnier than that there's a lot of people
but i i don't know it's it's because the stink star and his name's marky mook he might have got
on the list just with marky mook marky mook yeah and because he parties with lip gloss on his stink
star meaning he just puts lip gloss on his ass and he dances around if his name was marty mook
or if his name was just party if his name was just marky parties fully charged with lip gloss that gets on the list the fact that he did fully or if he just if your office name was just Party, if his name was just Marky, Party's fully charged with lip gloss,
that gets on the list.
The fact that he did fully,
or if his name was just Stinkstar,
so any way you slice it, he's on the list.
So that constitutes,
might be number one of all time in the Jordan.
That's what I'm saying.
Because any part of his name
mixed with any other gets on the list.
That's what I'm saying.
So he's a five-tool player.
Yeah, he's a five-tool player.
I think he may be the Jordan of this list so far.
Let's see if anyone can take his crown.
There you go.
All right.
As always, patreon.com slash bayridgeboys for all our fun.
Check our dates at christycomedy.com,
yannispompuscomedy.com, historyhyenas.com.
August 29th for me, Monmouth Racetrack in Oceanport, New Jersey.
Two shows almost sold out.
Go get them, christycomedy.com.
And then Yanni's at
what's the date? August 12th?
August 12th. I'll be in Royersford, Pennsylvania.
Yeah, Royersford, Pennsylvania.
Because he doesn't have the mic on.
So I'll just say he's in Royersford,
Pennsylvania on August 12th. Go to
YannisPopisComedy.com. And then also at the end of September
he's at the Stress Factory with Vinnie Brandt.
Yes.
Yes!
Thank you guys. Love you. Yes! Thank you, guys.
Love you.
We really hope you enjoyed that episode, whatever it was about.
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