History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 23 - Homo Sapien Sapiens are WILD!
Episode Date: July 15, 2018Yannis goes at it solo as trash monkey the hyena steps up to fill the empty seat as we discuss Homo sapien sapiensWant more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things... get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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Yo, what up, Kaziwazis?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. See, I'm keeping it consistent with the monkey sounds that are supposed to be hyena cackles.
Only hyenas, only true hyenas can cackle like hyenas.
As you can tell, as soon as you hear a non-hyena try to cackle like a hyena,
you know it's an imposter.
I'm no hyena.
Only Chrissy D is the matriarch.
I am the low-ranking male. Straight male. hoster. I'm no hyena. Only Chrissy D is the matriarch.
I am the low-ranking male,
straight male,
in the clan,
the clanicus.
What are we?
Zach's in the middle
because he's a stone-cold killer.
But we're both men,
so we rank pretty low
in the history hyenaenas matriarchy.
The queen trans with the big pseudo is away again.
This time in Los Angeles doing meetings.
Doing meetings.
And probably missing New York bad. This is Giannis Pappas. Welcome
to History Hyenas. Chris C.D. is in Los Angeles, as I just stated. It's me and Zach Isis today,
and we got a special guest who's stepping up. See, here's the thing about hyena clans.
They're constantly rotating in flux, and the hierarchy is constantly shifting in order for the Klan to survive, right?
The whole is bigger than the sum of its parts.
It's about the Klan.
It's not about individual hyenas.
So the matriarch is not here.
So guess what?
Me, a middle-ranking, a middle-to-lower-ranking ranking male is stepping up into the leadership role.
Zach Isis has stepped up from his middle male middle role in the Klan.
And Trash Monkey the Hyena is stepped up to the mic.
Right, Trash?
That was more like a duck cackle.
I was trying to be a ventriloquist with Trash Monkey the Hyena.
Trash Monkey the Hyena doesn't speak, but he gives us a lot of presence,
and there he is on the mic.
And I just thought it would be in my mind how hilarious it would be
if somebody was actually a ventriloquist with a hyena puppet.
That would be hilarious.
So without Chrissy D.
We got our.
We got our.
I love this picture.
Because you know what.
Our Patreon matriarchy keeps growing.
And anytime I see a picture.
Of more than one hyena.
You know.
When hyenas are rolling deep.
I think first of all you know it reminds me
of a rap video secondly our patreon matriarchy is growing you know you ever notice every rap
videos like there's always a scene with about 20 to 50 people in it must yeah it's a must it's a
that's especially in today's music yeah it's a must
but also in the 80s and 90s it was just part you had to have one scene where there was at least 20
to 100 guys behind you while you rapped or michael jackson videos too he had a lot of guys in some
he had a lot of guys yeah he had a lot of children too but like yeah if you were watching like a mob
i grew up on mob deep or or, like, you know.
It was, oh, yeah, any, that whole era.
First of all, I went back and listened to some 90s.
First, I think 90s rap was the best rap era.
But I got to tell you what, going back and listening to it now, a lot of songs about murder.
I mean, murder was, like, a big theme.
Every, you know, you got to go get the tech, pop the trunk, blast.
Everyone's getting fucking murdered.
I mean, it was a lot of homicide.
That's what it was about.
I actually live very close to where Mobb Deep was, like where they lived and shot their videos and stuff.
Queensbridge, right?
Yeah, they put up a, I think they put up a mural of Prodigy and they had to take it down because people kept defacing it.
They kept like throwing paint on it and shit. Why would do that they treating it like the lebron mural in
la somebody did a lebron mural and somebody came at night and defaced it i mean what do you not
got going on in your life that you wake up at two in the morning and go travel with a can of paint
to a lebron mural and just throw paint on it.
I mean, how sick do you got to be?
That's the problem in this planet.
There's a lot of sick people.
The range of intelligence that we have and emotional stability amongst within the human
sapiens sapiens, as I found out our topic today is going to be uh piggybacking off last
weeks because so many people seem so interested by the dog conversation that we're gonna get
specific and keep going with the the topic of there being a time where there was at least three, maybe five different types of hominids on the planet at the same time.
We are not Homo sapiens.
I just learned.
We are Homo sapien sapiens.
How fucking wild is that?
What's a Homo sapien?
Homo sapien is like our ancestor, and we are Homo sapien sapiens.
We evolved from Homo sapiens into Homo sapiens sapiens.
Two times as good.
Yeah, it's like get the papers, get the papers.
We're the real deal.
We're the humans' humans, you know?
We do it for real, for real.
So we're going to get into that.
But, yeah, like I'm saying, man, the range of intelligence.
Sometimes I wonder, like wonder like yo are we
evolving into different species like is this guy the same species as me because i would never i
mean i would never be like you know does this guy i mean this is first of all what i'm talking about
is this guy you know lebron james obviously signed as a free agent with Los Angeles, for those of you who aren't basketball fans.
And some artist went to great length, took a lot of time and effort,
and painted this huge mural of the King of Los Angeles, LeBron, with LeBron in it.
And it was in the news and, you know, all over the internet. This big old mural.
And some fucking guy wakes up at like 3 in the morning, goes out there with a can of
paint and just fucking throws it on the mural.
He throws it on the mural.
Twice.
Twice.
Twice it happens.
Yeah.
Anonymously, too.
So it's like he hates LeBron James so much,
probably that LeBron is leaving Cleveland, right?
Or maybe he just hates people who do good art.
I mean, what's his motive?
It's a great fucking mural.
It's a beautiful fucking mural.
Look how great that is.
And look, they pull up the-
Oh, it's the King of LA message.
He didn't like the whole King of LA.
Maybe a Kobe fan.
Could have been a Kobe fan.
But I mean, how crazy is that?
How fucking crazy is the guy took whatever he didn't like so far that he went and defaced.
Do you know how long it took this artist probably to put that mural up?
And I mean, this guy who threw the paint on it.
What do you think he...
He probably has zero. He has spent zero amount of time on this planet working on zero amount of craft skill.
He's good at nothing.
Because only someone who has nothing in his life.
Pretty good at defacing shit, I must say.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
It's the yin and the yang of life, right?
He got his point across.
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's the danger of when you do a mural in public.
Someone's going to at least piss on it.
There was an interview with him, and he said, like, just even when he was painting it,
he knew there was probably going to be backlash, which is why he was so cool with covering it up.
Yeah.
That must be, you got to paint shit and just be okay with it possibly getting covered.
Yeah.
It's a shitty way to work.
In the back of his mind, as he's putting all his work, he's going, this may go to waste.
Yeah.
Well, I still think that the guy who did...
Can you pull up the surveillance video of the guy who comes with the paint?
I love it.
Did they catch the guy or no?
Do you know?
I don't know if they caught the guy.
I don't think they caught the guy.
But they have surveillance video of the guy just rolling up with a can of paint and just splashing it on it like a dick.
And I don't know...
Yeah, I don't know if he's been caught.
Yeah, they have surveillance video of it somewhere.
Because I saw it.
Maybe it'll run in one of those stories.
Yeah.
I mean, people are different, man.
People got different motivations on this planet.
Some people are creators. Some people are different man people got different motivations on this planet some people are creators
some people are destroyers
and you know most of us
smoother more even skin
oh well you know
maybe we should run a commercial and then call
L'Oreal afterwards and be like yo L'Oreal
what's up send us a check
send us a check
yo we need some sponsors What's up? Send us a check. Send us a check.
Yo, we need some sponsors.
Bad.
Yo, tell your friends.
Keep telling your friends about the podcast.
We're growing every week.
But here's the deal.
This podcast gets only as big as you people want it to get.
So tell your friends.
If you enjoy the podcast, be proactive. Take take the link send it in a mass email say hey you might like this text it to your friends you got to check out this fucking
podcast with chrissy d and yanni p you know all your friends who are thinking about transitioning
whether you're a couple that likes movies have kids. Oh, fuck Spectrum. Fuck Spectrum. Fuck Spectrum. Fuck you.
We don't want them as a sponsor.
Didn't they just fucking merge with AT&T, Time Warner?
They still fucking suck.
Cock suckers.
They just merged with some speed.
There's a new segment on History Hyenas where it's called Cursing Out Spectrum.
Fuck you, Spectrum Cable.
All right, here we go.
All right, here we go, guys.
Look at him.
Look at this fucking dick.
Look at this dick.
He's got like a soda can of paint.
Yeah, I mean, what the fuck, man?
Can you rewind it?
I mean, so pause it for a sec.
Pause it for a sec.
So this is surveillance video.
You can go watch it online of the mural at night, right?
And this dude rolls up by himself.
I mean, how much of a fucking loser are you that you roll up in the middle of the night with a can of paint
and just fucking throw it on the mural and walk away?
Is this the guy?
This isn't the guy.
That's the artist.
Yeah, I think this might be the artist.
What a fucking dick.
Can we see it one more time?
I just love his demeanor, just his loser demeanor.
I'm trying to see if they show it full screen.
Fucking dick.
It's a lot of the Kobe versus LeBron controversy. Yeah, see? Kobe. I'm trying to see if they show it to full screen. Fucking dick!
Yeah, see? Kobe.
Well, that's what he thinks it is.
He doesn't know.
He has what he thinks it is.
So, I mean, but how... Dude, how...
I mean, Kobe's not even playing anymore, man.
He's not even in the league.
That's a dedicated fan right there.
So, I mean, you could call him the king of L.A.
And it doesn't shit on
Kobe because now he is the king
of LA because he's the best player on
the Lakers now. I mean...
Do you think
that him being there makes a...
I saw something. I can't remember
who was saying it makes Lonzo Ball look like
less special or
maybe makes Lonzo and LeVar scared.
I don't know.
I think it'll make Lonzo a better player.
LeBron makes, wherever he goes, those people,
whoever's on the team becomes better.
I mean, Tristan Thompson turned into somebody who, you know,
Tristan Thompson would have never got.
LeBron, you know, he's no Jordan.
I think Jordan just has a competitive fire a little bit more than LeBron,
but LeBron's close.
And LeBron does make everybody else better.
I mean, you look at Tristan Thompson before, like, you know, without LeBron,
Tristan Thompson would never be a player who would get that huge contract,
who would never be considered a player of value for rebounding and defense.
LeBron brings that out of you.
I think even, we're not a sports podcast, but we'll do quick.
Even Kyrie Irving.
I feel like you notice he's hurt every season except that one or two seasons he played with LeBron.
Because he started working out with LeBron.
He saw how hard LeBron worked.
And that was sort of the same effect Jordan had on other players.
Led by example.
Made you feel guilty if you weren't working as hard as the best player on the team.
So Lonzo will be better.
And fucking LeBron is the king of L.A. right now.
I'm more fascinated, to be honest with you, with this dude.
I'm more fascinated to a dude who just couldn't handle.
Imagine just sitting there and you just see.
So he probably saw the news clip somewhere of this guy's mural.
And he probably was just sitting there seething.
And he was like, you know what?
I gotta take matters into my own hands.
And he went out there and he threw paint on it.
I mean, what does he think he solved?
Do you think he planned that
or was it just like he was fucked up and he saw it?
You know, nobody walks around
with a fucking coffee cup of paint, you know?
Yeah, but how he was carrying his paint
was pretty suspect.
It was in like one of those
soda cups you get from movie theaters yeah that's what you call premeditated right there there's
never never in the history of humanity in modern times has there been a guy walking past a mural
at three in the morning while carrying uh an open cup of paint yeah and he's still and it just
happens he was not caught he wasn't caught no he was not and he's still at large. And it just happens. He was not caught. He wasn't caught. No, he was not caught.
And it just happens to go,
you know what,
this mural fucking pisses me off.
Thank God I got this
open cup of paint in my hands
so I can express myself.
That was definitely premeditated.
And it was yellow paint.
Was it yellow?
Yellow paint.
Yeah, so anyway,
so if you don't know the story,
the guy defaced the mural
and the artist,
you know,
it's ruined. So he just painted over it and and the artist, you know, it's ruined.
So he just painted over it.
And so the mural was up and now it's gone.
And I just think it's not, you know, it's a stupid little story.
But I just think it just shows you how different people you are.
You know, you got LeBron.
That's the highest level of human achievement.
You know, that's the thing that sort of pushes a species forward.
That's what evolution and that's how evolution happens is, you know, what they call, especially amongst humans.
What gave us the advantage, homo sapiens sapiens.
I love that fact was collective learning, meaning, you know, once we stood up, once we stood up and became bipedal and we had use of our hands, we could create tools and shit, but weian war of fucking top of the food chain apex predator is because of collective learning.
And because of all this tinkering and improving we do, you know, generation to generation, father to son, son to son, son to so on.
Oh, sorry, mother to daughter as well.
Theirs and thems to those.
And all the R trans, true blue transes to their non-gender specified children.
You know, progeny.
Let's just call it progeny.
Let's just call it progeny let's just um call progeny i was on twitter the other day and i saw someone posted some some verified account too so she must have
been somebody i don't know she goes uh ladies and gentlemen for a wedding speech?
That's what it was.
Oh, her.
What was the answer?
Her open-ended question.
She was asking because I guess she was going to.
I'll pull it up right now.
She wanted to.
She was.
She goes.
She's asking, gender inclusive alternatives to ladies and gentlemen for a best man wedding speech.
She's looking for suggestions because she doesn't want ladies and gentlemen to be said because it doesn't include everybody.
So I gave an answer.
I gave her a good alternative And I said
Good evening family and friends
From Vice, HuffPo, and BuzzFeed
That's a good
That nails it right
That was good
Yeah
Yeah
Oh by the way
This won't air
We're late on the Patreon.
Yeah, technically.
So we'll get this up as soon as possible.
But if somehow you catch a repeat or, I don't know, we're taping this on Friday.
Chris's show on Comedy Central, Stupid Questions, airs tonight.
And I'm the guest, but you'll probably miss it.
We won't get up in time.
We're late this week on the episode, but maybe they'll do a rerun,
catch it online or whatever.
What day is it?
No, the show.
What day is the show on?
Friday, tonight.
Oh, okay.
It's going to be out tomorrow.
Yeah, but maybe they do reruns.
I don't know.
Catch it online.
I mean, who's going to fucking watch it on TV anyway?
Anyway, stupid questions.
Christian actually just texted
me to remind
so watch for that, I'm the guest, we had a good
time, I had a good time on his show
and it's on Comedy Central
or whatever, I'm sure they rerun it or they put
it online like I said
and Chris said he's not available
he's filming something till 7
so we will not be hearing from the fucking
matriarch out there in Long Island
But who needs a matriarch when you got
Zach Isis and fucking
Trash monkey the hyena
How you doing trash monkey
How's your day been
You know pretty good
That's how I picture trash monkey
Because you know he's a trash monkey
He's probably from Yonkers
I would picture trash monkeys from Yonkers.
He's like, yeah, I'm doing good, you know.
I'm all right.
You know, I've been clean for four months.
You know?
Yeah.
My mother and father talking to me again.
It was a long stretch where I stole everything in the house.
You know?
Then my father had me arrested.
It was a real tough period up there.
But, you know, now I'm'm back I'm back in 14C
Up there on Yonkers Boulevard
I told
I promised my parents
That once I got out of rehab
I would stay away from Empire Casino
You know there's a lot of people
Who got gambling problems in that area
Empire Casino is where they hit
There's a casino in no area. Empire Casino is where they hit. That's a casino in Yonkers.
Empire Casino.
Trash monkey to hyena.
He's fucking burrow trash.
You're fucking trash.
Anyone who talks like this is a good fucking chance.
They're fucking trash.
Anyway, tell your friends, like I said.
We keep growing. Join the patriarchy like I said, we keep growing.
Join the patriarchy.
I mean, whoa, sorry.
Excuse me.
Jesus, I must have had a man.
See, I was infected by the patriarchy for one second.
See how the patriarchy can get in your head?
I meant the matriarchy.
Jesus Christ.
You didn't read your HuffPost this morning.
I didn't read my huff post
Maybe there's something to it though
Cause check this out
Besides the hyenas
Now hyenas
Are matriarchy as we know
As you guys know
We talk about it all the time
Females run the show
They're the most ferocious
They're the top ranking members of the clan
It's a matriarchal society.
But they're fucking brutal and vicious and violent.
But our closest relatives, we're apes.
We are actually apes.
There's a bunch of apes.
We're apes.
Our closest relatives that most people think we evolved from which
is incorrect um we evolved from a common ancestor that us and chimpanzees and bonobo chimps shared
in common so we didn't evolve from chimps we evolved from an ancestor that we shared in common and they went
that way we went that way so but our closest relatives our first cousins if you will in a
lot of ways i think we said on the last episode we share 99 of the same dna as fucking chimps
and bonobos um who split from each other they They're different a little bit.
Bonobos are a matriarchal society,
and they're fucking peaceful.
They're actually one of the most fascinating species on the planet,
and that they're so close to us is interesting,
because it makes me think,
maybe these woke kids are on to something, dude. they're said to be the most peaceful primates do you know how they settle their
conflicts they fuck that's right they like to suck each other's dicks is there a lot of
homosexual activity in the monobos i believe there is right i think they suck yeah let's find out
about these fucking i say fuck a lot in this podcast, don't I?
I curse a lot.
That's a sign of intelligence, though.
I read that article, too.
The more intelligent, the more people curse.
The more intelligent you are.
They are usually a fully bisexual species.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
So there you have it.
So they don't have any hang-ups.
Nope.
Ew.
It's particularly in between juveniles and adults.
Really?
They're pedophiles?
I mean, I don't know if they see it that way, but technically, yeah.
Yeah.
And you know what I learned about hyenas?
If you could look this up to double check.
Actually, let me give credit where credit's due.
And let me mention, definitely join our Instagram, Bay Ridge Boys History Hyenas page.
We got a lot of fun stuff going on there.
And now the new thing we got going on is you know we do our history hyenas fact of
the day and somebody i invited people to post their own so like if you have a history hyena
fact of the day hashtag it hhfod tag us in it and fucking teach us uh something a history hyena fact
of the day and somebody got me i mean i tagged us i'm sorry tagged us and this
was the fact was this this is fucking wild check this out um it's about hyenas and that
their highest ranking females choose to fuck the young cubs.
So they're pedophiles too. Is that true?
Can we look that up?
How fucking wild.
Somebody else tagged themselves in a cutie
with smoothies. Also, drink
a smoothie and tag yourself
cuties with smoothies
and tag history hyenas.
Tag Bay Ridge boys and we'll check you out and
you'll be in consideration for our to be reposted as a cutie with a smoothie yes so i can't find it
yeah i found an article that says males are pretty much sexually dominated within the clan, even young cubs.
So that's kind of confirming.
Yeah, I'm trying to find.
I think he tagged it or she tagged it.
Let me find it.
Because they tagged it HHFOD, History Hyena Fact of the Day.
H-H-F-O-D, history hyena fact of the day.
So... Female spotted hyenas call all the shots when it comes to who will sire their cubs,
and they rarely mate with adult natal males.
There it is.
Who are reproductively mature, but have not yet dispersed.
Wow.
There it is.
So they will choose...
They're cougars!
Exactly.
They're cougars. They're cougars.
Yo, the highest ranking hyena matriarchs are freaking cougars.
Basically, they're like math teachers who are fucking their students.
Kind of.
How do the male hyenas feel about that?
They're like, damn, come here, son.
She's on the prowl again.
Yeah.
I mean, they must, you know, once you get to a certain age, you know,
your son is probably going to be banging that chick you were married to.
That's wild.
Hyenas are basically predator teachers.
See, this stuff is in us from nature, man.
This stuff is in us.
I tell you what
I'm glad I don't have that fucking thing
I'm glad I don't have that pedophile thing
You know I guess people
You just have it
I don't think you catch that right
I think your brain is just wired to be fucking
A pedophile
Born like that
I think so
I mean that's brutal
I mean of course the action and doing it is disgusting
but on some level i kind of feel bad for the people who would want to do something like that
you're like fuck that's fucked up you know that's a tough one to have there's so many ways this could
go off the rails when you're born as soon as you're born there's some it's like a minefield of fucking it's whatever the simulators want it's like yeah it's like the game is set up
where i mean you really need to tightrope walk to get through this i mean not only physically survive
emotionally survive you know what i mean i mean imagine you're I mean, come on. Imagine you've realized one day you like fucking kids.
You're like, Jesus Christ, that's what I'm into.
A crime that people want to that even murderers would want to kill me for.
There's no way they'd want to do that.
There's no way you'd like, you know, it's just you just realize one day like, fuck, I want to fuck kids.
There's a great joke about that, about if Twinkies were illegal,
even though someone loved Twinkies,
they still wouldn't eat the Twinkie because it was illegal.
So kids must be awesome if pedophiles are really willing to go to that level.
Yeah, who did that?
I remember that joke.
It was Louis.
Was it Louis C.K.?
Yeah, it's a fucking great joke.
Yeah.
Yeah, that just lets you know that they really need to do it.
They want to do it bad because not only is it illegal,
but you know if you get caught and you go to prison
that other prisoners are going to kill you,
beat the shit out of you.
I mean, you know, pedophilesiles just they're so vile to society
they're even rejected by the people who are the most violent in society when you know when you're
scum to people somebody who just murdered his entire family some wipeout killer then that's
as low as you can go but it's fucking wild dude I often wonder you know
what happens is
you're born
when you're born
in western civilization
it's like these
it's like this
oxymoronic
combination
of information
that you're getting
you know
you go to school
and you stand up
and you gotta
say the lord's prayer
or whatever
and read whatever and then you go to science class,
and they're like, hey, so this is what's going on.
The planet is, as far as we know, 40, what is it,
20 fucking million years.
What is it again?
20 million?
I'm sorry, 4.6 billion.
What the fuck am I talking about?
So the planet is 4.6 billion years old.
Started with a Big Bang.
Life eats life.
Humans evolved, as did many other humanoid.
They were human-like creatures,
and they fucking killed each other, and they evolved from a commoner.
And then you go to church, and it's like,
Jesus Christ is the Savior, and the world was created on the sixth day,
and on the seventh day, God took a nap.
Shh, be quiet.
And you're like, what the fuck, man?
So it's like these two oxymoronic.
I mean, there's no other way to, you know, diametrically opposed, you know, indoctrinations are happening.
Well, one of them is obviously an indoctrination.
One of them is obviously based on the scientific method is the truth but it's like you know when you're a kid
you're being indoctrinated by both you know you're getting these two completely different
sets of explanations for what life is and what this planet is and somehow some people rectify that on their own and other people are just like
you know go one way and they just refute the other way they refute this side or some people
believe that and refute the other side so it's always very confusing obviously they can't both
exist that's the problem you know it's like they can't both you. That's the problem.
You know?
It's like they can't both.
You know what's funny is now,
it's like the Pope, the new Pope,
I love when people are like,
you know, this Pope is really fucking cool.
And you're like, what'd he do?
He's like, he said women can like work.
And you're like, so that's what makes. That is pretty cool.
The Pope is just a normal,
says a normal thing that's not crazy. And we is just a normal says a normal thing.
That's not crazy.
And we're like, this pope is fucking amazing.
His pope is a superstar.
He apologized for killing Galileo.
I mean, that's all you got to do to be considered a great pope is to be like, you know what?
Maybe we shouldn't burn gay people on sticks.
And people are like, this pope is fucking like Jesus.
Have one of them done that?
Forgiving Galileo?
Yeah.
This last dude.
The dude.
Yeah.
They just forgave Galileo?
Yeah.
They just apologized.
Yeah.
They just formally apologized.
Well, they needed to really think it through.
It was a formal. Yeah yeah they needed to think it through
for a couple hundred years but you know what
we were probably that was probably our fault
on that one I think you got it right on this one
yeah you know we're gonna
go ahead and apologize at the time
you gotta understand he was kind of
threatening our business
you know we sell hope here
and a certain
dogma and you know that the world revolves around fucking us.
And he was fucking up our money.
And that's what I do.
Whenever you fuck with someone's money, bad things happen.
People can disagree all they want.
But as soon as you start fucking with someone's money, that's what makes me nervous about this tariff war with china is like yeah we have our disagreements with blah blah blah blah once you start fucking
with their money that way because they're dependent on us we're dependent on them but
they're really dependent on us more and uh once you start fucking with their money it starts to
get nervous i'm like oh boy people get desperate when
you fuck with their money so that's the time that's the shit that's got me most nervous about
fucking donald trump and what he's doing is that tariff war with china because that could have some
real consequence the way i see it because china is an actual power to be reckoned with on the
come up and trying to prove himself wants to expand and now you fucking with a money could get crazy that's just the common sense stuff
but anyway back to the original point of what this episode is about without chrissy fucking cackles
is um that there was a time man there was a time on this planet where there was at least three different hominids.
They overlapped.
Like a couple thousand years, they overlapped.
And we touched upon it last week.
But the first bipedal hominid to march out of Africa
was actually not Homo sapiens.
It was Homo erectus.
These names are so hard to remember.
It's like Homo erectus,
Homo australopithecus.
Can't they make these names easier?
You ever think about that with like chemistry,
like chemicals,
and like fucking,
and medicines,
you know,
like the generic names for the medicine.
It's like Pharmabupatopatopal.
Pharmabupatopal.
And then you're like, the commercial name is always easy to remember because that's the one they want you to buy.
It's a company, Celexa.
But the actual fucking pharmaceutical name, like the name of what it's called, it's always crazy.
it's called is almost it's always crazy all these scientific terms when you point to a scar star they're like that's galacticus piscus i think they're just trying to sound like smarter i mean
what the man why can't you just call it pete i think that's pete with gps when it says go
west i mean like can't you tell me like go left or right exactly north yeah there's a
compass on them to pull out to see where they're going. Exactly. Who's like, I don't even know where North way.
Don't tell me go Northwest.
Just be like, yo, point it and go this way.
Instead of calling that star Galacticus Padacticus X5-64,
why don't you just call it Pete?
Be like, that's Pete over there.
That's Stevie Ray.
I literally just read the explanation to this too
of why these names are so complicated.
I can't remember though.
There's a reason why they're all so complicated though.
Well, that information is of no use to us then.
You got me so curious.
That's one of the biggest letdowns I'll have all week
because for a second you were like,
I just read and I was like,
fuck, I want to know the reason
because it just hit me that all these scientific terms are always so hard to pronounce.
They use these long words constantly.
Instead of just calling it something quick and easy and catchy, it would be so much easier to educate everybody if the names were easy to remember.
I got something specifically for species, which is what we're talking about.
Okie dokie.
Scientists avoid using common names because they are not often specific to a particular species.
Still another problem arises when a species is so obscure that it has no common name.
Thus, to avoid any confusion in scientific research, biologists use scientific names in identifying species.
But why do those scientific names have to be like 15 syllables?
Why can't it just be like Hector?
No one's buying into that.
Well, that's what they say because it gets confusing, right?
So they got to think of shit that nothing else on the planet has ever been called.
That's what it is.
Well, can't they just use sounds then of like a like old
sounds like you know i don't know yeah i guess yeah whale calls yeah that would make it even
harder well that answered my question that makes a lot of sense so they got to think of completely
unique things that have never been um used before but that no i, if there's some dead shit,
if there's some simple Latin word that's not used anymore,
you could call something mater, which is mother in Latin.
Nobody calls their mother mater anymore.
They always use the extended version of the word.
When they're naming something?
Yeah, like when they take it from like old Latin or something,
they always use the extended version.
Yeah, they need to do what Chrissy does.
TBG.
Troll blog guy.
It's TBG, TBS.
That's how to solve the problem.
Just have Chris come in.
Just name all scientific species.
Remember them tomorrow.
Quick acronyms.
Quick acronyms.
That's the word.
Acronym.
Yeah.
It's tough to remember.
So, yeah, man.
The Homo erectus was the first bipedal hominid.
I love that word.
To march out.
They marched out all the way to Asia.
We're doing a lot of hunting and gathering.
First bipedal hominid to hunt big game.
Before that, we was just eating vegetation and stuff.
And, you know, they were living out there around India and Asia.
And then, boom, there was a volcanic explosion.
Now, you know, it's interesting when you...
They obviously put this all together.
It's imperfect.
They learn more and more as they go along because they're scientists, they're archaeologists.
They do the carbon dating,
which allows them to know how long ago this was.
And they have all these scientific methods
that get to the truth.
A lot of it is conclusive truth.
Some of it they piece together through evidence
it could be could not be you know because i always i always get curious about that it's like
it's a theory at the end of the day i mean you know they they they excavate all these different
you know human-like homo sapien sapien-like skeletons,
and they see the minor differences.
But who's to say?
Those aren't just two different dudes of the same species, right?
Like if you found the bones of Shaquille O'Neal and Danny DeVito,
you might think two different species, but they're not.
They're both Homo sapiens sapiens.
So can you pull it up just to remind me why it's Homo sapiens sapiens?
Because I actually just learned that.
That was like the last fucking thing I learned.
Like Homo sapiens sapiens.
See, that's an example.
They couldn't think of another name.
They couldn't think of another name.
They just repeated Homo sapiens sapiens. What's the difference another name? They just repeated Homo sapiens sapiens?
What's the difference between Homo sapiens and Homo sapiens sapiens?
Homo sapiens is the name of our species which contains the subspecies.
Homo sapiens.
Homo sapiens sapiens are us, are anatomically modern humans.
But Homo sapiens Neanderthalus...
So Homo sapiens are all the human hominids, right?
Just Homo sapiens are all the subspecies.
I think it was like another hominid.
It was another hominid.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Maybe you were like a better them.
That's why they're Homo sapiens.
That's what I said originally.
Right.
So we evolved from them.
We became, we went from Homo sapiens to now Homo sapien sapiens, which now they found
out also involves like three or 4% if you're European fucking Neanderthal DNA.
And also there may be a couple of those other hominids in some people, too, which is wild.
They actually bring up what you just said in here about identifying them, that scientists don't know if it's Homo sapien or Homo sapien sapien, that they argue that.
Yeah.
So it says here, yeah, the Homo sapien sapien.
And that talks to what we're-
I never thought of that.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
And how come they just didn't come up with another name?
Were they just sitting there going,
let's just say sapien twice?
That's why a lot of people don't know it
because it's fucking confusing.
Nobody's going to go homo sapien sapien
because it sounds like you're just saying something wrong.
It sounds like you're doing a redundancy
because that's the stupidest thing
to have homo sapiens
and then homo sapiens sapiens that's fucking stupid but anyway here's the answer can we scroll
down again read what this fucking guy says shout out to quora the best a homo sapiens sapiens
subspecies was first seen around a hundred thousand years ago. So that's us. Yeah. And hair-toe man around 160,000 years ago.
So that's another fucking homo sapien.
No, that's another type of homo sapien.
See, I'm confused, dude.
No, yeah, a hair-toe man is another homo sapien.
Homo sapiens ill datu.
So, okay. So we were just homo sapiens So Okay
So we were just homo sapiens
Oh I think they're all called homo sapiens
And then the word that comes after it
Yeah
So that makes a little more sense
It does and it doesn't though
Because we also were homo sapiens
So there was also another subspecies
Called homo sapiens
That we evolved from that became homo sapiens, that made us Homo sapiens
sapiens, I believe.
Unless, no, we're just specific.
We were, were we Homo sapiens
sapiens back then? That's my question.
I think they're all Homo sapiens
and the Homo sapiens sapiens is just the type of
humanoid we were.
Is that true though? That's what we gotta find out.
That's what we gotta fucking figure out.
This is the last thing I fucking learned and I was still a little confused about it.
I don't think so.
I think the Homo sapiens sapiens only refers to modern Homo sapiens.
And our ancestor, the ancestor we evolved from was Homo sapiens.
Is that correct?
Zach's going to look that up.
But anyway, this dude says Neanderthals diverged about 500,000 years ago.
So they're mostly no longer categorized as Homo sapien Neanderthal.
Here's my fucking point again.
Neanderthalensis. Neanderthal. Here's my fucking point again. Neander, Neanderthalensis.
Neanderthalensis.
Why make it harder?
Neanderthal's easier than the official name,
Homo sapiens, Neanderthalensis.
I can't even fucking pronounce it.
That's the official name.
They make it so hard to pronounce.
I think part of the reason they do that is because they want to stay remain smart and so they can like feel cool about themselves and the
rest of us stupid people can't pronounce shit essentially the difference between the species
and the subspecies is they do look like us so as with all things the boundary is vague and fuzzy
and open to argument all right this guy's no good You can bet that someone finding a homo sapien fossil from one of them
will argue that it is either homo sapien sapiens or a new species
because they're way more prestigious than just finding you.
This guy's no fucking good.
I don't like, who's this guy who wrote this shit?
Scroll up, scroll up.
Is he a fucking, yeah.
He doesn't even, he's not a doc.
Get rid of this fucker.
He's not a scientist, this cocksucker. When you go go on quarry you got to see who wrote those shits he
was an expert that guy was a fucking idiot he confused us more he confuses
more that guy there's also I've been I'm getting one saying that there's another
uh there's like conflicting views on whether Neanderthals were different
species or the same thing maybe they found their bones and just didn't know.
One was Shaq, one was Danny, and they just...
Exactly.
And they just put them separately.
Maybe it was that Neanderthals were Homo sapiens.
They just fucking were a little more jacked.
Maybe they figured out gems first.
Maybe they had gems.
Maybe they were the first dudes to have gems,
and they used to work out and got jacked,
and that's why they were a little bigger, a little stockier.
But the dominant thinking, obviously, and that's why they were a little bigger a little stockier um but the dominant thinking obviously and it's probably true is that the neanderthals were out in europe first
right they marched out from africa first and they changed a lot to adapt to the cold weather
they they were the first um to um create, obviously probably by looking at the animals, imitating the animals, seeing that the animals were able to survive the cold climates up there in northern Europe.
And in the winter in middle Europe and in southern Europe to some extent because of their fur.
So what they did is they killed some animals and fucking put those fur coats created fur coats.
They became pimps.
You know what I'm saying? Pimps really
the
ancestor of pimps is the
original dudes wearing fur coats
because it was fucking cold outside.
And
so the Neanderthals were up there for a
long time too. I think
the Neanderthals were in there for a long time, too. I think the Neanderthals were in Europe for a couple hundred thousand years
until Homo sapiens arrived on the scene,
marched up there,
and then there was an overlap of a couple thousand years
where Neanderthals and Homo sapiens
and Ostroa, whatever the fuck.
And those little pygmy ones.
They were around in different places.
And then the fossils.
Nobody knows the true story.
But what they do know is the fossils with the carbon dating.
It seems that all those other skeletons just kind of disappeared.
And aren't around after that over that little
overlapping of a little period and as we know now of course neanderthals um interbred with
homo sapiens a little bit and they were extinct and like we said last uh their last episode there's
a couple theories why they think some people think it's germs some people think climate
change um and we were better adapted to that some people think we are social um instincts were
a little more complex that helped us uh fight with them or hunt better and then of course there's
this one dude can't remember his name but he's got a
lot of people believe in it too i believe it um the cooperation with dogs the first hunter-gatherer
homo sapiens to domesticate dogs really gave the advantage to homo sapiens um obviously there was
fucking killing because that's what happens we We know that. Anytime one, even post these different hominids, when a more advanced, you know, people comes in contact with a less advanced people or a people, you know, and it's through no fault of their own, really, that those people are less advanced. They just kind of flourished in an area that wasn't conducive for them to get in boats.
They were surrounded by mountains or something, and they just became a very homogeneous fucking tribe.
Because cultures evolve from interacting with other cultures and that's why um there's this huge theory that
europeans thrive so much is because europe in the middle there it's longitude it goes this way it's
not up or down so the climate doesn't change that much so there's no mountains blocking it off so
people could kind of interact with one another and that's how new ideas flourish you know you
go fucking marco polo boom he brought the spaghetti from over here boom mixed it with the tomato you know ideas flourish from coming in when cultures and tribes
come in contact with one another and that's how it's always been um since the beginning of time
so whenever those whenever a more advanced tribe um came in contact with the lesser tribe
fucking murder i mean murder is going to happen.
It is what it is.
And you look into the animal kingdom, and that's what happens.
Everything is very territorial.
Murder, enslavement, it's going to happen.
There's probably a lot of murder with germs.
Just the same shit with the Indians.
It's probably the same story, just a little more complicated because they were related, but they were different species.
So it's unlike the Europeans encountering Native Americans because it's the same species, but probably similar story.
Whereas one of them had an immunity to certain genes
and fucking wiped out the Neanderthals.
And the Neanderthals weren't as stupid as they were portrayed to be initially.
They actually had bigger brains than fucking Homo sapiens, supposedly.
And they were stronger.
But they didn't have a grasp of language like we did, if I remember correctly.
And maybe they just weren't as fucking slick, you know?
One of the things I heard is they had a real lack of creativity.
That goes a long way, creativity.
Yeah, like we came up with a podcast
History Hyenas. That's fucking
original because we're homo sapiens
sapiens. You know
where I am at least.
I mean, Chrissy has that protruding forehead.
He's not here to defend himself. God bless
him, so I'll give him a chance to defend
himself next episode, but he's really got to prove that he's not here to defend himself God bless him So I'll give him a chance To defend himself Next episode
But
He's really gotta prove
That he's not a psychopath
And that he's not a Neanderthal
Cause he has a protruding forehead
And that probably comes
From the Neanderthal period
I'm 100% homo sapien
We did the test
We did?
Yeah
Do you remember the like
20 questions or something?
Yeah he wasn't a psychopath
I was a little more than him
Yeah
Fucking bad
We didn't do it with you though
No We just assumed Yeah We just assumed you are We just Yeah, he wasn't a psychopath. I was a little more than him. Yeah. Fucking bad. We didn't do it with you, though.
No.
We just assumed.
Yeah. You know the answers to that already.
We just assumed you are.
We didn't even have to do the fucking test.
So anyway, there was...
It's very interesting to me, and it should be interesting to everybody, that we're no
different from cats or turtles or any of these animals that you see on the planet that evolve
differently based on their environment in different places.
You look at cats.
You go to a different area in the world.
There was some common ancestor that that cat had with like a fucking tiger or a lion.
And it just went to a different environment.
And through natural selection and evolution, that cat changed to thrive and survive in that particular environment.
And we're no different.
We are no different.
When you look at, even within our own species, we're constantly changing.
That's why I'm curious, like, what are humans going to look like in a thousand years?
Are we just going to be like these tiny little fucking things with big eyeballs
and hunchbacks you know these huge eyes that are just adapted to stare at screens probably i mean
if it keeps a couple thousands of years we're gonna you know nature keeps changing it's it
we've gotten ahead of genes like we change so fast with our like you said our creativity and our inventions that we're
ahead of the genes of the genetic codes and shit we're ahead of natural selection but that doesn't
mean that evolution stops so i'm curious to know what's gonna happen we won't be around to see it
but maybe we'll end up looking like hyenas. You know? Little furry things, but except we'll have hands.
We won't need coats anymore.
Who the fuck knows?
Maybe we'll be able to have such control over our brains,
we can evolve into whatever we want that day.
Like, yo, today, I want to look like this dude.
And you just use your brain to make yourself look like Johnny Depp, and boom.
You look like Johnny Depp, and you're like, I want to be a hyena today.
And your brain is so strong, you know, that you just boom. Who knows, man? Who's to say
that that's not possible? I mean, what dictates evolution anyway? What makes the strong survive?
Maybe it's willpower. Maybe it's strictly the energy from will. And where does that come from?
Who the fuck knows? Probably at that point, maybe Jesus.
Maybe there's no other explanation.
Maybe there is a God.
I don't fucking know.
But if there is one, he's an asshole.
Because this is a fucking wild world.
It's fucking wild.
And different human species killed each other because they were on the planet at the same time.
And it's just wild to think that we're no different.
And why would we be the only reason we
would think that that wouldn't be the same is if we were indoctrinated with some sort of religion
to believe like you know god is we're created in god's image or whatever religion is that's the
only reason why it wouldn't 100 make sense to you that we're no different from fucking cats.
You look at the cats in the mountains, lynxes, cougars.
They're different subspecies of cats that evolved differently based on the environment to survive in that environment.
Because they walked out from wherever they were and they changed.
You know?
You can't tell me there's, you obviously don't see that the fucking tiger and the lion share an ancestor.
It's two fucking cats.
You know what I mean?
You ever looked at a dog and a wolf?
Obviously, they're fucking related.
You ever looked at a house kitten and a fucking, and a tiger?
Yeah.
It's a mini fucking tiger.
You know? Things change based on the environment.
And those species thrive um based on whatever that environment new environment is and uh the ones who simply
wait like you know if being smaller if there's a food shortage and some turtle some turtles are in
some new area and there's not as much of the food as there was before because there's a climate change or whatever and the smaller turtles fucking
eat less.
So they survive.
Guess what?
That turtle is going to change and eventually become a smaller fucking turtle.
And that's what it is.
Because the smaller turtles will survive and they'll pass on those genes and they'll have
those smaller stomachs and be smaller and they won't need to eat as much.
So they will fucking thrive
and the bigger ones that need more calories
where those calories aren't available
they will fucking die
and extinctions happen all the time
what do you think about
them bringing the extinct animals back
yeah let's bring them back
yeah I want to bring back Neanderthals
too fucking let's do it
let's get wild
yeah let's do it. Let's get wild. See if we can still hold
the top spot. Yeah, let's get fucking
wild. And I'm talking also for
entertainment purposes. How great a show would that
be? Right? Survivor
mixes like, do a Hunger Games
type Survivor thing, and you
bring back all the different
hominids. You take their DNA,
you bring back Australopithecus,
you bring back Homo erectuscus you bring back homo erectus
you bring back neanderthals you bring back the original homo sapiens you bring back those little
pygmy fucking things all of them you bring back all because there was a bunch there was a couple
of hominids that were on the planet at the same time and then there was also a couple of fucking
transitional species in between our ancestor,
our fucking ape ancestor,
and us, bring them all back.
All of them.
And then bring back the dinosaurs too.
Yo, it's an all-out war
of all the species
that have ever been on the planet.
Last one standing wins.
Yeah.
Royal rumble of evolution.
That's what we'll fucking call it.
And whoever, we'll see who wins.
I would love to see that, dude.
Yeah, I'm gonna say
the dinosaurs take that one.
Yeah.
And just pillage over.
But like you said,
dinosaurs aren't creative.
They were here
for a long fucking time.
If you look at like
how long humans were here
compared to like,
they ruled Earth
for a fucking while.
You're making a great point.
Yeah, they held it down
for a while.
Millions of years now.
How long were the dinosaurs here?
Can we look that up real quick?
Yeah.
I mean, that's, we always overlook the fact They held it down for a while. Millions of years, no? How long were the dinosaurs here? Can we look that up real quick? Yeah.
I mean, we always overlook the fact that we have really only been successful for thousands of years.
Barely.
And we've only really been crushing it for a couple hundred.
I mean. The dinosaurs had shit for 66 million years.
I mean.
Yo, how crazy is that? That's a good rate of time right there.
Yo, so the Earth is, like I said,
estimated to be 4.6 billion years old.
You know how fucking old this Earth is
where there was none of this shit going on?
Yo, podcasts have only been here for like four years.
This whole. You put it in the scope of podcast
that's compared to humans 200 000 200 000 and we've and we weren't thriving for 200 years
dinosaurs were fucking thriving they were running around eating shit wow so dinosaurs were here for
what'd you say 44 66 66 1 million years is a long time we've been here
for 200
we've been here
for 200,000
between 200
and 400,000 years
is how long
and like you said
we've only been killing it
for like a few hundred
I mean only a few hundred
we've been killing it
before that
you know
we were burning
fucking people at the stake
I mean really
we've really only been
killing it since the 90s
I mean the 70s were pretty really only been killing it since the 90s.
I mean, the 70s were pretty whack.
The 60s seemed pretty cool.
I mean, we've really only been killing it since what?
I think since Mace and P. Diddy's collaboration.
When did life after death drop?
I think after that.
It would probably be from there.
I think from a post-Biggie world, things got really... Because before then, it was gangster shit and then and then it became p diddy and mace you know and that's
where things got really partyish yeah so it's only really been we've only really been killing it for
like 15 years 20 years as humans i mean i'm placing my bets on the dinosaurs i really am that's a good
bet that's a good bet i would put my those things, it was bigger than elephants, could run like, it could run, those things could run fast, right?
They were big.
And they were here for 66 fucking million years.
If there was never an asteroid that came and created an ice age and killed them all off, we would never be here.
That's fucking wild.
We would never get the chance.
We would never even get the chance to
evolve they they ran shit and they would continue to run shit but but yo how fun could that have
been for like they didn't they didn't have like they didn't have dinosaur tvs to be entertained
you know oh they lived it though i guess i guess it was exciting to hunt and kill shit
yeah but to be a herbivore dinosaur that's pretty boring you know like one of those you know because there was a couple
of those dinosaurs that were so big that the the t-rexes didn't really with it but they didn't
really kill anything except they ate uh grass it's like what's your life you're just a big cow
you're basically a dinosaur cow that just sits there and grazes
what a boring life at least the t-rex was fucking murdering you know it's like everyone wants to
watch shark week nobody wants to watch fucking whatever dinosaur just ate grass this guy right
look at this fucking guy yeah so this is a brachiosaurus and supposedly this dude look
how huge he is and he just ate fucking grass what
a boring life thank god a fucking asteroid came and knocked him out we got tv we got tv cuz
we're fucking watching dude i was watching nadal verse verse um yo jovak novavik volkovich nokovich you know novak chokovich i'm i'm a tired kid
um i was watching you know we we created tennis we do a lot of interesting dinosaurs were just
60 for 66 million years they would he would this dude was just eating grass and i'm only bringing
it up because there's a lot of species that eat grass now but at least there's other interesting shit going on like we got tv going we're creating
planes these were the apex these were us they were basically equivalent to us and you know so if you
were a t-rex and you had some great kill it was probably a thrill for you but there was nobody
there to watch it and enjoy it it wasn't like they had you know dinosaur stadiums where you could kill
you could see the the best T-Rex to kill.
They did it just for the—see, that's why they would win.
They just kill because they want to.
They must.
They're focused.
They don't got shit else to do.
They're not performing.
Yeah.
It's a real kill.
But let's bring them all back.
Let's bring them all fucking back.
Can you just do me one favor before we go to our animal videos?
Because we're already at—damn we're ready in an hour.
What were the names of all those?
I know it's Ostroephylicus is the one I have.
Homo, all the hominids that were on the planet at the same time.
It's so hard for me.
I try to remember the names.
And that's, okay, so there was Neanderthals, Paranthropobuses, and here's the other one, Astrophyrenesis.
This is my point from before, dude.
Can't you just call these dudes Jerry?
Call the Toms, Dicks, Jerrys, you know, whatever.
Something easy.
Something fucking easy.
Cuzzy 1, Cuzzy 2, Cuzzy 3, Cuzzy 4, Cuzzy 5.
Yeah, if they were going to do the sapien sapien thing,
they could have done like homo 1, homo 2, homo 3.
Exactly, yeah.
Neanderthal's the easiest one to say here,
and that's not even that easy a word.
So there's homo habilis, homo erectus,
homo heidelbergenus.
He's named after someone.
Homo erectus, Australopithecus, Arifara.
Yo, if there's anyone that can pronounce these accurately, I'll give you $100.
Can you pronounce that last one?
Sahelanthropos?
Sahelanthropos. Sahelanthropos.
Sahelanthropos.
Hobo Habilis.
That one's easy.
Homo Habilis.
That's the guy who wrote Breaking Bad.
Yeah.
Homo Heidelberg Guinness.
Heidelberg Guinness.
There's two Australopithecus.
Australopithecus robustus. Australopithecus afarensis.
So these are all the different types of hominids that were on the planet at the same time.
Is that correct?
Or all the ones that just were the transition?
I think these are just all the ones that existed.
Yeah, these are all the ones that existed between the transition from fucking straight-up ancestor monkey,
not monkey, ape,
to us now.
So here they are.
And that's fucking wild.
And most people don't, you know,
I mean, people go to church, you don't even think about it.
This is fact.
They pulled the skulls out of the ground and they have
the tools to see that this is a different species and it's unlike anything that's on the
planet now and it's extinct just like the hundreds and billions of other animals that have gone
extinct that's what happens climate changes whatever one species kills off another one
Climate changes, whatever.
One species kills off another one.
They go extinct.
And these guys are gone.
And we're flourishing.
We do podcasts.
We sing R&B.
We make smoothies.
We are crushing it.
We got a mascot who's a stuffed animal.
We're a species who could create a stuffed animal and take something as awful and vicious as a hyena
and turn it into something that would sleep next to a human baby.
That's a stuffed animal.
So that's fucking wild.
Anyway, cops are coming
because Zach's plan just was enacted.
And we got some amazing animal videos of the week for you
because we are fucking wild. And we got some amazing animal videos of the week for you.
Because we are fucking wild.
This one's one of my personal faves.
I really wish Chrissy was here for this one.
But he'll see it later.
Because I really believe he wouldn't be able to sit this.
Because he's not a psychopath.
He would not be able to sit. What is going on downstairs?
I'll tell you later.
All right.
So this one is called, you can look it up on youtube it's called rare behavior baboon snatch it's a baby
impala this is fucking hard to watch check it out here we go so baboons usually don't eat meat, but when they do, they go all out.
Oh, God.
So this is a baby impala that's been snatched by a baboon,
and the baboon has taken the baby impala up to higher ground on a rock.
And the mother impala, who just had the baby snatched,
keeps trying to get at that baboon to save the baby,
but it's out of reach up that rock,
and now the baboon is eating the baby alive
while the mother watches.
It's fucking brutal.
You ended it with just that psychotic chuckle.
Yeah.
I mean, look, he's pulling out the guts like it's spaghetti,
and the mother's just watching.
Brutal.
Brutal.
And that's a short version because I watched a longer version of it.
Now, here's another one.
So in the same vein of babies dying,
because it's a really recurring theme in nature
where most of the babies die.
There's only a few that live.
Everyone talks about woodpeckers, how friendly they are.
We got a cartoon, Woody Woodpecker.
Now, woodpeckers like baboons usually don't do this.
But when they do, when they do get a little taste of meat,
they will go after smaller birds, babies.
will go after smaller birds babies and here is a woodpecker after a dove mother has left the nest to go find her baby's food she left the dove babies alone in the nest and along comes friendly
woody woodpecker to peck the brains out of the dove babies while they're still alive here we go
in action
oh god here comes a whip oh god while they're still alive. Here we go. In action.
Oh, God.
Here comes a woodpecker.
Oh, God.
There's a woodpecker.
He just goes like Hannibal Lecter.
I mean, while they're alive,
they're not even that small, these dove babies.
And he is just drilling a hole in their brain and eating their brains through
their skull he has drilled a hole in the skull of this baby dove and is pulling the brains out
bit by bit and eating it while this poor dove baby remains alive i mean this is brutal. Look at it.
Is it alive or is it twitching?
No, it's alive.
It's poking its brain.
So the brain, parts of it are, you know,
it's going to die slow.
It's fucking brutal.
I mean, is this not some Hannibal Lecter shit?
Oh, God.
Just imagine having your head eaten you're just enjoying a nice
sunday in your nest and the long comes along it's kind of respectable that he eats brains and size
of yeah oh yeah does that look alive to you look at him looking around he's it's it's tough to
watch yeah then his brain he falls look at how cold the woodpecker is.
He's like, oh.
He looked at him and goes, oh.
And he just goes on to the next one.
And then he goes on to the next one.
And he's, I mean, this is, it's hard to watch, man.
Nature is hard to watch.
Especially when you're human,
because fucking, you anthropomorphize these things.
You feel bad for it, but it's just a bird.
You know? I mean, but that's just a bird. You know?
I mean, but that's got to be a horrible experience.
To get your brains eating that?
Yeah.
And this one's got no...
Oh, God, look at how hard he's doing it.
Ugh.
He's breaking the fucking skull with his...
With that strong woody woodpecker beak.
And he's just eating his brains.
I think I heard him laugh, too.
Yeah. I mean God I think on YouTube this is called zombie woodpecker yeah he really does look like he's sucking it out he is sucking it out yeah look at
how alive that thing still is too looking up at it it doesn't know is that
mommy does has no idea and like now it's just like we
have and it's got oh god oh god is it trying to fight back or just doesn't know what to do
yeah i think it's just it's just out of it yeah its brain is no longer there oh my god
oh god so this is real as chris likes to say, this is reality, folks.
This is nature.
Oh, what's this?
Oh, the dove mom comes back.
Oh, my God.
To come back and find your babies.
I was going to say, that must fucking suck.
You know, the thing is, the dove is just as big as the woodpecker.
It's bigger.
It's bigger.
It scared the woodpecker off, but it's too late.
Your babies have no fucking brain.
Imagine. Oh, here's another one. Just do a quick one. Yeah, because this is the woodpecker off, but it's too late. Your babies have no fucking brain. Imagine, oh, here's another one. Just do a quick one.
Yeah, because this is the woodpecker snatching them real quick.
Yeah, oh, look at these nice birds.
With modern technology nowadays, we're able to watch birds having their babies in a nest box.
So here's a nice...
We watched this blue tit build its nest from the very first strand of grass
and watched thousands of trips every day they make to feed the babies,
which are now within a matter of hours of fledging.
Can you pause it for a sec? Pause it for a sec.
All right.
So let's just talk about what this dude said.
This brings it all full circle.
Full circle to the beginning of the episode.
That guy put hours and hours and hours and hours of work into creating that lebron mural in los
angeles right just like this mother spent hours and hours and hours building this nest and then
hours and hours of going getting food and bringing it back to each one of these baby birds. The amount of work that went into rearing these
fucking baby birds
right here is
unbelievable.
And it's tantamount
to the amount of
labor that that artist put in the mural.
Now, here comes
the guy with his can of paint.
Here he comes. Suddenly, a woodpecker appears at that
entrance to the nest and pulls a baby out it's absolutely horrendous it pecks
and pecks trying to get the babies it starts to open the hole by chipping out
it's a fucking horror movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, these woodpeckers are fucking dicks.
Takes one.
They look slightly different.
It's as if they realize something's going wrong.
The woodpecker comes back.
The parents have disappeared.
The babies are crouching at the bottom of the nest.
Fuck.
Completely helpless.
These babies are helpless.
This mother, you know what she would do?
Stop fucking leaving.
Get a babysitter.
It's absolutely catastrophic.
So now... The woodpecker's in there again.
It grabs another baby and takes it out.
Oh my God.
I can't believe this is happening.
Now the woodpecker's taken like four.
There's only fucking three left now.
It started with like eight.
Eight babies.
Oh god, look at this woodpecker.
Look at how they slow it down and everything too.
Three left.
And he's just feeding it.
Yeah, you gotta...
Yeah, maybe you don't want to leave this time.
And she leaves.
You're dumb.
Part of you deserve it.
Fuck.
There's one fucking baby left.
How much do they eat?
They're fucking...
I guess they're pecking these brains out
they're getting them he's taking them to a neutral location absolute carnage oh god just killing
these babies one fledges by itself again that's two of escape there's one oh two escaped though
two got out of there but sadly the woodpecker comes back. Oh, fuck. Kills them all. Two got away, though.
You didn't show the bird coming back to nothing?
I mean, we think it got away.
From these babies.
In a few minutes, by one woodpecker.
A few minutes.
Nature is harsh enough without the interference of man.
Oh, yeah.
What an ending.
I would have loved them to show the dumbass mother coming back to no babies and seeing the hurt.
Yeah.
Well, how crazy is that?
It comes full circle.
That mother put all that work into that nest, all that work to make all those trips to feed those babies.
That artist put all that work into putting that mural up.
And then that fucking woodpecker comes along with a can of paint and destroys.
You know?
comes along with a can of paint and destroys.
You know?
You got your peaceful, creative people
and then you got your destructive monsters.
It's the yin and the yang.
Fucking woodpeckers.
Anyway,
this has been your
history hyenas episode.
Do we have the Patreon names?
Oh, fucking
Brutes Mag goots.
I could ask him real quick.
Anyway, thank you guys for joining.
We've got a lot of new members.
I'm trying to get the names right now.
If not, we will read your names next week and celebrate your names and your identities like we do each and every week if
you haven't joined our patreon page page do it join our patreon page as you know ask the people
who've joined send them a message or just check you get the bonus uh patreon only extra podcast
every week you get all types of fun fucking benefits. Most of all, you get to know
you're supporting us. That's what this is all
about. Straight to you, you
to us. We don't want to be involved in
Hollywood and all that fucking mess.
We're going straight to the people.
So,
just join our Patreon page. It's a dollar
a month or five bucks a month, whatever you can
afford. It's go to patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys. Become a member, man. a month or five bucks a month whatever you can afford it's go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys
um become a member man join our channel join our matriarchy and most importantly again tell
your friends luke tell your friends tell them join. Become a member of the Klan.
We need you.
We hope you've been enjoying it.
Hopefully Chris will be here next week.
He's in L.A. speaking to a couple doctors
about gender reassignment surgery.
So when he gets back, the full crew will be back.
But this was another history hyena episode
janice pappas zag isis on behalf of chrissy d pseudo tit the stefano we'll speak to you guys
peace ស្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវត�