History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 24 - Millard Filmore was WILD!!!

Episode Date: July 22, 2018

Yannis wanders the plains alone one more time searching for Chris and discussing the history of Millard Filmore and how WILD he was!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys... where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay. You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. What's up everybody? What's up to the matriarchy out there? Across the country, across the globe. What's up everybody, what's up to the matriarchy out there, across the country, across the globe. What's up trash monkeys, what's up true blue trances, true blue gazes, and regular old straightsies. How you guys doing? This is Giannis Pappas, here with Zach Isis, and trash monkey, the Staten Island Hyena is back taking over the mic for our missing matriarch again Chrissy Cackles, Chrissy Pseudotit, True Blue Trans, the number one highest ranking female True Blue Trans Hyena Chrissy DiStefano who's in Texas.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Addison, Texas doing comedy down there. He's telling jokes at the Addison Improv down there in Texas. So we're missing Chris. Of course he could call in, but of course
Starting point is 00:01:41 I just called him and he's not picking up the phone because he's probably jerking off in his hotel room for an eighth time. The kid's really got problems. I mean, he goes on the road. All he does is text me and just tell me about how he can't do weekends. He's such a New York kid that he can't be on the road. His last text to me right now was he goes
Starting point is 00:02:07 yeah he goes yeah yeah yeah there was a lot of yes he told me yeah and he says yeah he just texts me yeah all the time yeah and he goes it's good it's good to travel but I'm a Brooklyn
Starting point is 00:02:23 kid and the main goal is to do one-nighters. The way we get there is the party. History Hyena Tour. And we do that. That's what we got to do. So yeah, that's mine and Chris's goal. We want to leave New York as little as possible. So you make us big in your town or whatever.
Starting point is 00:02:40 We bring Zach. We go out there. We do one-nighters, history, hyenas, live podcast. We'll do a little stand-up, and then we fly right back to the trash burrow that we hide in. That's what we want to do. So here's the deal. Here is the deal. Hope you enjoyed the last episode.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Homio sapiens, sapiens are wild. I didn't even know it. You didn't even know it. Zach didn't even know it, that we are actually homo sapiens sapiens. So now that we cleared that shit up, let's move on to this idea that I told Chrissy and I think would be great. Listen, we're trying to grow this thing. So far, I got to say, we're doing pretty good, aren't we, Zach? I think so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:19 How are the numbers? Numbers are rising every day. Every fucking day, numbers are rising. All right, this is a movement. This matriarchy is a movement. So this is what we wanted to do. Great shirt, by the way. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Bay Ridge Boys shirt right here. This is the test print, and I just put it up on the Bay Ridge Boys Instagram. You can see the shirt. Well, they're going to be for sale soon, as well as a whole bunch of other shirts. We're going to have plain and simp shirts. We're going to have maybe a sea captain shirt. Maybe a coyote shirt. Definitely a matriarchy, probably pseudo tit.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Who knows? We're going to get creative. There's going to be a whole bunch. But here's the idea. In order for you guys to help us grow, here's some incentive we thought of, me and Chrissy. If you can prove to us through DMs or
Starting point is 00:04:14 however you want to prove it, that you have recommended five people to listen to the History Hyenas podcast. Right? If they DM us or when they add us and they say, hey, we were recommended by Boom, we will take note of Boom being your name.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And when you hit five, guess what we're doing, cuzzy? Guess what we're doing, cuzzy, wuzzy, fuzzy, wuzzy bear? We are going to send you a free fucking Bay Ridge Boys t-shirt or when we get the other merch, whatever one you want, right? We recommend the Bay Ridge Boys because look how dope this fucking shirt is. That's a dope t-shirt. Yeah, you probably look. Can they see it in the camera?
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah, they can see that. There you go. Yeah. You see how dope it is? So we're going to send you a free one of these and also we're going to send you a free signed poster of me and Chrissy D in swim shorts and Crocs drinking smoothies. Signed
Starting point is 00:05:11 by me and Chris. How? I mean, does it get better than that? That's tempting. That's pretty good, right? You want to recommend five people and you're on the podcast. I've already recommended five people. So I think we owe you a signed poster in Crocs and fucking swimsuits. But I want the picture of you guys from the sports show.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Oh, when we're fat? The fat ass? Yeah. You want that one signed? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're still playing that show. You know what's funny is they played that show in New York so much, and they still play it so much.
Starting point is 00:05:44 But me and Chris look like we're wearing fat suits. So I don't think anyone thinks it's us when we're walking down the street, you know, because this show plays all the time on MSG. MSG is if you don't live in New York City. MSG is Madison Square Garden Network. It's where the Knicks games are on. It's a New York. I guess it's New York State probably. Yeah, it's Time Warner Cable.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I don't know. It's a local. It's a big local sports channel owned by Madison Square Garden. New York, I guess it's New York State probably. Yeah, it's Time Warner Cable. I don't know. It's a local, it's a big local sports channel owned by Madison Square Garden. And me and Chris had a sports show on there in 2013 and they played the shit out of it. We talked about it on the cast. We don't get any money. So yo, recommend it to your fucking friends.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Right, Trash Monkey? Yeah, that's right. That's fucking right. I'm in the union. My name is Trash Monkey? Yeah, that's right. That's fucking right. I'm in the union. My name is Trash Monkey from Staten Island. I do good out here. I got my mother living in the basement and my grandmothers living upstairs. I made a good life for you, Marie.
Starting point is 00:06:39 My name is Trash Monkey the fucking spotted hyena there. Thanks, Trash Monkey. So, recommend it to your friends. And soon you'll have shirts that you can buy. And we appreciate it. And also, again, join our Bay Ridge Boys Instagram. Join it up. It's BayRidgeBoys on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:06:58 You click on it. Boom. History Hyenas Podcast. One and the same. We are one and the same. There's a podcast. There's a web series. New web series episodes coming up very shortly we've been a little bit on hiatus because we've been building
Starting point is 00:07:10 up this podcast which is now up and cooking we are cooking with gas so join up on that join up on our little uh facebook uh group bay ridge boys Bay Ridge Boys, just fucking search three words, Bay Ridge Boys, and you will find us on Facebook. You'll find us on Instagram and become a part of the matriarchy. Somebody sent me a nice little HHFOD on Instagram, History Hyena Factor of the Day. If you want to teach us something, hashtag it HHFOD and tag Bay Ridge Boys on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Or you can always DM us. It's not that hard to reach us. But hashtag it HHFOD. Someone sent me hyena clans are called cackles. That's what the clan is called? Yeah, look that up. Double check. Because, you know, I don't know if these fucking people, these fans sometimes are tricking us.
Starting point is 00:08:08 But it's actually called a cackle. A cackle of hyena. When there's a lot of hyenas, it's called a cackle of hyenas. They're called a pack. They're sometimes called a pack or a clan. All right. But how about when there's a lot of them? A lot of hyenas called a
Starting point is 00:08:25 cackle. Let's see. This always takes long because Zach types with two fingers. I mean you're not. A group of hyenas referred to as a cackle. How fucking wild is that? Yo! That rolls off the
Starting point is 00:08:43 tongue. A cackle of hyenas. That's extremely fitting. A cackle of hyenas. That's extremely fitting. A cackle of hyenas. Yeah. How many makes it... When does it go from a pack or a clan to a cackle? How many hyenas constitutes a cackle of hyenas? Let's see.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I think it's like subjective it is right how fitting is that with hyenas too just chaos you can call them a clan you can call them a pack you can call them a cackle I'll tell you what
Starting point is 00:09:18 if you see three or more of them you're in fucking trouble look at that guy the spotted hyenas by the, are the more brutal ones. They're kind of the wild ones. Then there's those other ones. They look like punk rockers. I'm not really as interested.
Starting point is 00:09:34 We're not really as interested in that other hyena type. The spotted hyena is where it's at. That's where all the fucking murder happens. That's where all the chewing of the ears happens. they chew each other's fucking ears up so we had a wild week um we had a we crossed our signals um during the week about getting into the studio we were supposed to all be together. Chrissy was in town this week. I was in town. He was in town. And we were supposed to record this week, but the studio was booked the time we booked it. It was a whole
Starting point is 00:10:14 mess, and guess what happened? It was the episode where Nora Cupcakes shot out to Nora Cupcakes. Let me make sure that's exactly what the name is. It's Nora for sure. And when I posted it on our Instagram,
Starting point is 00:10:32 the cake they made, I got a couple of DMs. Yeah, Nora Cupcake Company, to be exact, on Main Street in Middletown, Connecticut. Wow. And I'll add a picture so they can see the cakedletown, Connecticut. Wow. And I'll add a picture so they can see the cake because it was really awesome. Yeah. Can you do that?
Starting point is 00:10:50 Yeah, yeah. There'll be a picture right there so they can see the cake. We got to put it on the Patreon too because those people. I put it on the Instagram and I put it in the Facebook group, the Bay Ridge Boys Facebook group, but our two lovely ladies from Nora Cupcake Company fucking drove down from Connecticut. I mean, that's a good two, two and a half hour drive. They brought us, look at that thing. They brought us, finally, the History Hyena pseudo cake.
Starting point is 00:11:20 I didn't think it was possible. I didn't think it was going to ever happen. Chris is wild. He made that suggestion. That's a suggestion only someone who has one normal tit would ask. Can someone out there bake us a cake? I was curious what it was going to look like.
Starting point is 00:11:38 These ladies from Nora Cupcake Company Nora Cupcake Company decided not to do the pseudo penis, but they did an actual. It's like a wedding cake. Doesn't it look like a wedding cake? Yeah. It's way over the top.
Starting point is 00:11:53 More than I thought would happen if someone actually made it. Yeah. It is detailed as fuck. So we'll post a picture if you haven't seen it. And I've used both of those pictures on the bottom there as the picture on the computer screen those two hyena pictures so what they did was
Starting point is 00:12:11 on the bottom, what do they call that the cooking sheet or whatever in sugar writing red matriarchy then they got dripping blood coming down and then a whole sugar poster of our logo with me and chris's faces superimposed on those hyenas and their creative interpretation they have two pseudo penises wrapped around the
Starting point is 00:12:37 bottom layer and the top layer of the cake and one pseudo penises for ch Chris's penis. We're both true blue transes. We're both matriarchs, high-ranking matriarchs. So they gave me and Chris a pseudo penis each. So there are two pseudo penises on that cake and then there's hyena ears on the top of the cake. How did the penis taste? We didn't taste the cake. We tasted the ears.
Starting point is 00:13:06 So we made a video. I think Chris posted it on his Instagram where me and Chris actually at the same time chewed the ears the way that hyenas usually haze each other. We just went in at the same time and chewed the ears. The ears, I'll be honest with you, were 100% straight fucking sugar.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I mean, I could not feel my foot for three days after fucking chewing that. And they brought us cupcakes because they're famous for the cupcakes, and the cupcakes were delicious. So check out the cake. Here's the detail, though. Look at the blood dripping down. And then on the top there, you can't tell, that's gnats.
Starting point is 00:13:42 They did a whole bunch of gnats because when hyenas are in the wild, there's a whole bunch of flies that fly around their dirty heads. And the inside of the cake, when you open it, looks like the entrails that they like to eat. So they went all out. They put a lot of work into this cake. I mean, oh, my God. Did they put a lot of work into this cake?
Starting point is 00:14:00 They put a lot of work into driving it down. They're huge fans of the podcast. We appreciate it. They found out about us through the Guys We Fuck podcast when Chris was a guest on it. So they became a fan
Starting point is 00:14:17 of us. Shout out to Guys We Fuck podcast. Those girls are doing their thing thing. So thank you Guys We Fuck podcast. Those girls are doing their thing thing. And so thank you, Guys We Fuck Podcast, for hooking us up with your fans, Nora Cupcake Company. And they drove all the way down and fucking we weren't even doing a podcast. That's how wild we are. We deserve to all get driven up to Poughkeepsie to be fucking put down. There's a reason why we're pieces of garbage and we're trash monkeys bad.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Because these girls came all the way down. We knew they were coming down and we had the time wrong. Probably mostly your fault, no? Whose fault was it? Yeah, it just got overbooked in the studio.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Some people had to go longer. There was a random show because they were also shooting downstairs. So there's a show that's down there that had to move up here. It all got fucked up.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Yeah, they were shooting Crashing here on HBO at the time. It was a real mess. Probably the worst day that they could have came down. But Chris made the arrangements or was talking to them. And they told them they were going to drive. So we apologize. They couldn't have been two nicer young ladies. Fucking love you guys.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Thank you a samash. Samash. And we're going to invite them back down. And they said, they were totally understanding. We made videos with the cake. And then they were like, you know what? And I was apologizing over and over and over again. The cake, by the way, is still in the freezer downstairs.
Starting point is 00:15:40 So we may be able to take a bite of it next week. It's not going to taste good. It won't be fresh because I think it's in like a beer freezer. The cake is fucked. But they said they will come back down again another time and bring us another cake.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Another hyena cake? Another hyena cake so that we'll all sit down and be able to enjoy. So, wow. I can't believe it happened. I don't know what Chris is going to request next. He said he's got something ready. Yeah, he's going to next request
Starting point is 00:16:13 is going to be like, we want a helicopter built from scratch using all the same anatomical engineering of hyenas. We should make it a whole episode, like the decision back when LeBron first moved. We should make it a whole episode, the request.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Of what his new request is. I like that. Chris's new request. We'll do a whole thing and see what it is. This took a couple months. But a lot. Let's see if it speeds up. A lot shorter. I mean, how long? I mean, he started asking for that cake only a couple episodes in.
Starting point is 00:16:48 What are we up to, 23 now? This is 24. This is episode 24. So he probably started asking. So it did take a while. I mean, he probably started asking for it somewhere around like the third episode. Yeah, like episode two. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:02 So, I mean, it was a while. We're talking about maybe five months or something. But he finally got the matriarch cake. And they also brought us fucking 12 cupcakes. Wow. So, you know, none of that stuff got eaten. Me and Chris had a cupcake each. Unfortunately, next time you know what we'll do?
Starting point is 00:17:22 We'll make sure to have them come down during the You Know What Dude podcast. Because, yeah, so Bobby can take down. Those cupcakes won't go to waste. Well, he might not eat them in here. Yeah, he'll be like, you know what? Yeah, I'm on a diet, dude. But then, yeah, he'll eat them in the car. Yeah, in the dark.
Starting point is 00:17:41 He'll binge like 10 of those cupcakes. So thank you again, Nord Cupcake. I can't believe it happened. he'll binge like 10 of those cupcakes, so, thank you again, Nora Cupcake, I can't believe it happened, and we hope to have you back down, again, soon,
Starting point is 00:17:54 so, we got a lot of, nice fun, animal videos for you, we got a nice topic for you, we're switching gears, me and Chrissy, we're gonna do it this week,
Starting point is 00:18:06 hopefully he'll call in, probably not, cause you know, what's more and Chrissy, we're going to do it this week. Hopefully he'll call in. Probably not because what's more important than his own podcast that he just even texted me and said he wanted to get it so big so we could tour with. Him and Sergio are probably fucking boxing. He's got Sergio Chacon with him. Our good friend, funny comic, who's opening for him. And they go
Starting point is 00:18:21 work out a lot. I like to sit in the hotel room and just watch SportsCenter over and over again when I'm on the road. Chris likes to go out and see the city, but he's in Addison, Texas. What the fuck is there to see in Addison, Texas? I've never been to Texas, though. I want to go to Texas
Starting point is 00:18:38 because I just want to see what it looks like when people are just open carrying on the street. I just want to sit down that like um a wendy's or a cracker barrel and just look across and see a dude with a gun on his belt like a beeper in 1999 just on his fucking belt be like oh that's that's scary. Something bad. If a fight breaks out here, somebody's getting shot. But anyway, we've been talking this week a lot about Donald Trump. Look, being from New York, Donald Trump being president, it's like, you know what it reminds me of? Christian Finnegan, this comedian, has a funny joke.
Starting point is 00:19:31 He's not from New York, but he's been here a long time. And Donald Trump is kind of like a fixture in New York. He's kind of like a caricature of what a rich person is. And he's just been sort of a gossip column. He's been fodder for like gossip columns and, you know, page six news forever. You know, he's just kind of like a fucking celebrity before The Apprentice. Like he would never have been elected president if it wasn't for The Apprentice. Like the rest of the world kind kinda knew who Donald Trump was, but that's who really, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:06 The Apprentice is really what put him on the map with middle America and nationally. That was a hit show. So you gotta thank Mark, what is it, Mark Burnett? Is that his name? Mark Burnett. Yeah, Mark Burnett,
Starting point is 00:20:21 who's the producer of that show. Jesus, what a psychopath Mark Burnett is. He's got to be a psychopath. Kid was a nanny. He started as a nanny in Los Angeles and somehow worked his way up to be one of the most powerful people in Hollywood with the most fucking stupid fucking reality shows. Can you imagine? Only a psychopath would walk in to a producer's office.
Starting point is 00:20:47 His first big hit, Survivor, Mark Burnett. Imagine going in and pitching that. Be like, all right, listen. This is what was going on in his brain. He's like, you know what would be great? If we put a bunch of people on an island. No food. Scarce resources.
Starting point is 00:21:09 And see which ones die. What do you you guys think and we'll film it and the ones who are about to die they lose and the one person who survives is our survivor what do you think let's see if people can almost die for your i mean, that show is this close to The Hunger Games. And that was a long time ago when it premiered. So he's the mind behind that. He's the mind behind The Apprentice. Can you look? What else did Mark Burnett do? Because he's fucking really the one responsible
Starting point is 00:21:37 for Donald Trump's presidency. Trump! Mark Burnett. I think it's B-U-r-r yeah mark burnett boom the apprentice there he is looking at look at it you can tell yeah look at that fucking cold eyes he's got that look yeah look at his eyes look at him in that that picture especially that kid has no empathy none he is not an empath he's not a neurotypical as they call him so he did the survivor he did the apprentice um are you smarter than a fifth grader are you smarter than a friend oh shark
Starting point is 00:22:13 tank fuck this guy's good the voice he's got his hand in like everything yeah jesus and he started as a fucking nanny he's from england and he moved to la wow um oh he does other shit too so my dad is better than your dad was another one of his hit shows is that a hit too yeah guy's a psychopath let's look at his history how he how he started because it's so funny in 2004 he's at most, fuck, he was one of the most influential people in the world, time called him. Yeah, he's a powerful dude.
Starting point is 00:22:50 He's a powerful. Also named philanthropist of the year. Yeah, they do that for the tax breaks. You know, you got that much money, you get fucking sweet tax breaks. Get the IRS to look the other way while you're hiding all your money in Cancun. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Well, not Cancun,uba whatever fucking saint martin whatever island tax haven whatever the latest one is but in 1982 mark burnett emigrated to the united states um with his friend uh nick hill um oh nick hill had already come there a little earlier and was working as a nanny and a chauffeur. Wow. So his buddy got him a job as a nanny in Beverly Hills. This is all. This is fucking premeditated psychopath. He was also in the army before all that.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Yeah, he was a stone cold killer. Similar to the Joker. Yeah, and he saw action in the Falkland War and Northern Ireland. This guy's killed. Yeah, he's a wild dude. He's a wild dude, Mark Burnett. He was enlisted in the British Army, and he was a section commander in the Parachute Regiment. From 78 to 82, he served.
Starting point is 00:24:04 So he came right after murder. He served from 78 to 82 he served so he came right after murder he served from 78 to 82 saw action in the Falklands war and Northern Ireland then was like you know what I want to go be a nanny who hired this fucking killer as a nanny and to watch their children. Watch their children. This guy just probably saw major combat. So his buddy got him a job, even though he had no experience. And he was a soldier about three days before this. Oh, so this person really liked having the nanny and security because he was a tough guy. So whoever hired him liked that he could watch their kid and also maybe kill it, you know, if he had a war flashback.
Starting point is 00:24:56 So he liked the fact that whichever family hired him, it was a family in Malibu. They don't say who. He was taking care of two boys for $2.50 a week. Wow, not a lot of money. And he was eventually given a position in the insurance office owned by the father of the two boys. So he fucking charmed. You know, usually the nanny fucks the father.
Starting point is 00:25:19 This nanny got a promotion and started working for the father. And then two years later, he rented a portion of a fence at Venice Beach and sold T-shirts. This kid's a hustler. For 18 bucks each. Yeah. He hustled. Realizing he made more money selling T-shirts, he left that job. And then in 91, he and four others joined a French adventure competition.
Starting point is 00:25:50 So they were on some show. They were either on it or they produced it, but that is like the original Amazing Race. That was like the first adventure competition type of show. And it was French in France. Was it in France? Yeah. Yeah. Then afterwards, that's when he saw an opportunity
Starting point is 00:26:12 in doing something like that. He purchased the format rights and bought a similar competition, Echo Challenge, to America. And he launched Burnett's career as a television producer. How, though? I mean, how the fuck does that happen? I was wondering. They leave out the middle ground kind of.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I mean his fun must come from some fucking crazy rich family or something. Like where do you just get those connections? T-shirt money? Yeah. Would you make enough money making T-shirts that you were able to buy the rights to a fucking successful TV show and air it in New York? I mean, how did that happen?
Starting point is 00:26:46 Who are you fucking? Who are you blowing? Who are your parents? That doesn't just fall out of the sky. So how did that happen? And then he went on to make Survivor and The Apprentice. So it's really Mark Burnett is really the reason because, I mean, nobody would really know who Donald Trump was, really.
Starting point is 00:27:06 I mean, you know, he's, and like I said, Christian Finnegan, he's a very funny comedian in New York. He had a joke about Trump that I thought was very funny because he's been living in New York for a long time, even though he's not from New York. And he said, Donald Trump is like, it's like as if the naked cowboy became president. You know the naked cowboy? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, he's kind of like the naked cowboy became president. You know the naked cowboy? Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, he's kind of like the naked cowboy. He's like, he's just always been around in like gossip columns. And like, he's this cool kind of kitschy, like, oh, billionaire.
Starting point is 00:27:36 It's like fucking Donald Trump sitting in his gold throne up there. And he's, you know, so it's a wild thing that Donald Trump became president. And pretty much unprecedented. I mean, you know, I don't know if there's ever been a reality TV star. Because that's what he really is. He's a reality TV star. He's more that than he is like a real true billionaire. You know, he doesn't own most of the properties that his name is on
Starting point is 00:28:06 he licenses his name out more like a more like an athlete you know it's like michael jordan's steakhouse when you go to a trump hotel it's because he's a celebrity he made himself into a celebrity the thing that he was really good at is being sort of a a personality he's kind of like a wrestler in real life. He's kind of got the personality. He's got the charisma. He's got the charisma of like a wrestler. Can you imagine if Ric Flair was president of the United States?
Starting point is 00:28:35 It would probably be a lot similar to what it is now. I don't see how it would be different. He'd be going like, you know. Just cutting promos and yelling woo. Exactly, yeah. I mean, Donald Trump, basically every time he talks, he's cutting a fucking promo.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yeah. I mean, the last tweet, if you go through his tweets, they're like fucking wrestling promos. His last one where he was, yeah, can you pull up Donald Trump's tweets? Last one, his last tweet, but yeah, inconceivable.
Starting point is 00:29:07 It's inconceivable that the government would break into a lawyer's office early in the morning. Almost unheard of. Even more inconceivable that a lawyer would tape a client totally unheard of and perhaps illegal. The good news is that your favorite president did nothing. That's right, brother. illegal. The good news is that your favorite president did nothing. Woo! That's right, brother. Yeah, I want to do it in a in a, uh, yeah, macho savage. Inconceivable
Starting point is 00:29:33 that the government would break into a lawyer's office early in the morning, almost unheard of. Even more inconceivable that a lawyer would type a client totally unheard of and perhaps illegal. The good news
Starting point is 00:29:49 is that your favorite president did nothing wrong. Macho man Donald Trump. That was a pretty damn good. You practiced that. That was a good macho man. I used to do a good macho man impersonation. Haven't done it in a while. But that's what it is. I mean, look at him. All these are promos.
Starting point is 00:30:08 The NFL national debate is alive and well again. But believe it, he has exclamation. He's the fucking president of the United States tweeting with exclamation points. I like that the exclamation points is what threw you over the edge. Yeah, I can't believe it. Isn't it in contract that players must stand to detention? Hand on heart. The $40 in contract that players must stand to detention? Hand on heart. The $40 million commissioner must take a stand.
Starting point is 00:30:30 First time kneeling out for a game. Second time kneeling out for a season. No pay. Oof. So he's fucking wild. Never before in the history of this country i don't know if we've ever had a president who had zero public service experience can you look that up i don't think i think that's the unprecedented thing about it an actual president head of the executive branch commander in chief with zero Commander in Chief with zero public service experience.
Starting point is 00:31:14 I'm talking never been at least on some city council or state senator or something. Five presidents have never been elected to public office before becoming president. Okay, so I was wrong. Oh, this is political experience. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. You know, public service, you know, public office. So there have been four others. There's been four others.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And this is a great segue because the four other presidents besides Donald Trump who never were elected to public office before they became president. before they became president is Zachary Taylor, Ulysses Grant, Herbert Hoover, Dwight Eisenhower, and then the fifth is, of course, Donald J. Remp. Great segue because Zachary Taylor, fucking war hero, right? 12th president of the United States. Got into office. Picked his vice president.
Starting point is 00:32:13 His vice president is who we're talking about today. Millard Fillmore. Millard Fillmore was his vice president. And part of the Whig Party. One of the leaders of the Whig Party at the time. And Zachary Taylor fucking died immediately. I think he was poisoned. I don't know if he was poisoned, but he died from some bad,
Starting point is 00:32:39 some bacteria from some food. So I was wondering, did anyone ever think he was poisoned? Died from some stomach flu, right? Yeah. Is there any conspiracies that he was poisoned? 12th President of the United States, Zachary Taylor.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Old, rough, and ready is what they called him because he was a general. Back then, if you were a fucking general, dude, you were going to win. I mean, back then, being a war hero, Zachary Taylor did not die of anything. So nobody thinks he died. It looks like there's a few people who are saying some stuff, but it's kind of a consensus that it was stomach flu.
Starting point is 00:33:17 I would be surprised. Can you imagine that you could just die from a stomach flu back then? Brutes, my goods. Brutes, my goods. Nowadays, you got stomach flu back then brutes my goods brutes my goods nowadays you got a stomach flu you're like yeah all right let me uh take a little antibiotics or uh a little soup and knock that out throw on netflix and just ride it out i got a little stomach flu back then you fucking died from a stomach flu so he only lasted what a couple months how long was he how long was he in office he was only in office for like a couple months and his vice president um who was a real political choice in the sense that
Starting point is 00:33:51 um zachary taylor was a southern guy yeah he only lasted a fucking from march 4th 1849 to july 9th 18 So, not even a year. Not even a fucking year. And so, Zachary Taylor was a real Southern motherfucker from Virginia. And back then, there was a lot of anti-slavery
Starting point is 00:34:18 people. That was a big sentiment back then. You know? In the North. And that was, you know, that represented a large sentiment back then you know in the north and that was a you know that represented a large part of the vote so they zach taylor um chose uh millard film war to be his vice president to kind of shore up that sort of northern vote even though millard fillmore was like kind of he was kind of like against slavery but not really and that's why we bring up millard fillmore because a lot of people think that millard fillmore is really the best example of a president that you could compare Donald Trump to. Donald Trump and a lot of other people
Starting point is 00:35:07 like to say it's more Andrew Jackson. But the people who think it's Millard Fillmore that you can compare Donald Trump to point out that Andrew Jackson and Donald Trump have very little in common, actually, besides the, I mean, I don't know, expelling of people. But Andrew Jackson was a huge war hero. Talk about war hero. Probably the biggest one of all of them, Ulysses Grant, and then maybe Andrew Jackson and Zachary Taylor.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Those are probably the three biggest war heroes our country's ever had. That's why they became president. Oh, I forgot about George W. and George Washington. He's the biggest. Well, Ulysses Grant, you know, he's an interesting story because he was just like a fucking drunk failure in life, and then he found his purpose in the Civil War. Ulysses Grant.
Starting point is 00:36:04 We'll do an episode on fucking Grant. But right now, Millard Fillmore. So Millard Fillmore is an interesting dude from fucking Buffalo, New York. And the reason why they compare him so much to Donald Trump is because he was a conspiracy guy. He got elected. He didn't get elected. He fell into being the president because Zachary Taylor died, but he rose to popularity through all these conspiracies.
Starting point is 00:36:34 He was like an anti-Freemason, anti-Catholic. After his presidency, which was a complete fucking failure in a lot of ways. He went and joined another party at that time called the Know Nothing Party. It was a real nativist party that was really anti-Catholic. So back then you can kind of compare the sentiment, sort of the anti-immigrant sentiment to sort of the anti-Catholic sentiment back then. And so he capitalized on that fervor in a lot of ways, the same way Donald Trump capitalizes on the anti-immigrant fervor.
Starting point is 00:37:15 He was capitalizing on the anti-Catholic fervor, the anti-Freemasons fervor for some reason. And he really split the party. He was the last presidential candidate or last president, I believe, to be a Whig. The Whig party was done after him because he split it so much. And the reason he split it is because the Whig Party eventually became the Republican Party.
Starting point is 00:37:51 So the Whigs were really against slavery. But this motherfucker, since he was capitalizing so much on that sort of sympathy for the South and kind of, you know, the darker angels of our nature in America, the anti-Catholic fervor, which was huge back then. Catholics used to be the old N-words, you know, in America. The N-word, it's just so stupid. Everyone knows the word I'm saying, you know. I'm basically saying it without saying it. You know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:38:24 But in America, Catholics used to be looked at like that as well they were really persecuted in a lot of ways and people hated them but they rose to power quick they were you know they were savvy especially in New York City you know
Starting point is 00:38:40 they got political power and then you know they became cops for some reason. That's just what they wanted, become caps. So Miller Fillmore, the way he really split that Whig party was he freaking, into law sort of a new amended, more vicious, more severe, more strict Fugitive Slave Act. This was around, what, 1850 or something, the second Fugitive Slave Act. And the original Fugitive Slave Act was like 1793 or something. I mean, you know, this is the History Hyenas podcast.
Starting point is 00:39:29 I'm not exactly accurate, but 1850, I fucking nailed it. Fugitive Slave Act was passed, and he really pressured everyone, the Whigs in Congress. He really pressured them to go along along with this and this is what really split the party and so this really is the kind of coup de grace for the wig party because they were so fucking split over slavery you know and um a lot of wigs supported this and that split them and it was the fugitive slave act and what made it what made it brutal was that there was actually bounty hunters now. There was actually slave hunters who would go. And what made this law different is if you were caught aiding and abetting a fugitive slave, you could get prosecuted.
Starting point is 00:40:23 It became a federal crime. Can you look up the details of that? Just the details of the new slave. This is sort of like the reform new slavery, the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850. Yeah, the first slave act was 1793. And this was sort of like a stricter, more amended, you know, amended with a whole bunch of um yeah it required that all escaped slaves upon capture be returned to their masters and that officials and citizens
Starting point is 00:40:52 of free states had to cooperate so abolitionists nicknamed it uh some some blood the bloodhound law because um the dogs and the bounty hunters um the bounty hunters had dogs that were searching for slaves now the problem with this is a lot of fucking free slaves were just taken they weren't there was no habeas corpus for this there was no due process you know there was just these rogue bounty hunters running around just capturing black people and fucking putting them on the market in the south it was brutal and um you know there was there was supposed to be these federal protocols you're supposed to supply uh uh an affidavit to a federal marshal to capture and but nobody was doing it and um so what happened was, I think, Buffalo, New York, is where Willard Fillmore was from.
Starting point is 00:41:53 He was a beloved son, rose from poverty out of there, was a state representative in New York and Buffalo. But Buffalo was a huge fucking conduit for escaped slaves to make it to Ontario, I think. They would go across the river and escape to Canada. And so this really kind of tore his support apart too. And there was a lot of people who were against him because,
Starting point is 00:42:27 because of this. So this was the big, this is what he's remembered for really. And this is what fucking split the wig party. And then after that, um, he joined this nativist party, this fucking crazy,
Starting point is 00:42:44 they were called the Know Nothings. And he ran for president again under that party, but he was never heard from again. That was it for him. But that was it for him. But that he capitalized on a lot of fears, anti-Catholic. And he was sort of like wishy-washy on slavery. You know, he would say, sort of the same way Donald Trump was sort of like, he was a Democrat, then he was a Republican.
Starting point is 00:43:14 He's all over the fucking place, Donald Trump. And another huge comparison is as soon as he got into office, he fucking fired, you know. I mean, it's like, there's a transition happening. You want to keep those people on for a second? You know, Zachary Taylor dies. Vice President becomes President.
Starting point is 00:43:34 As soon as he became President, he fired Zachary Taylor's entire cabinet. You're fired. He fired the whole fucking cabinet. And it took like months to get, it was a real mistake and he did it because uh he had some fucking vendetta with them from when he was vice president so he had supposedly that sort of same kind of narcissistic personality was firing people he didn't like just like donald trump was capitalizing on sort of conspiracy theories, anti-Freemason conspiracy theories and anti-immigrant and anti-Catholic specifically fervor.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Just like kind of Donald Trump has kind of capitalized on. There's no question he has. I mean, there's no question that that is there already in people. And Donald Trump's kind of winking at him. You know, he's not saying, and that's what Millard Fillmore would do. He wouldn't say he was for slavery, but he would kind of fucking wink. That like, hey, I support you guys. I'm kind of, I'm not really going to do anything.
Starting point is 00:44:42 support you guys. I'm not really going to do anything. And one of the big things was the expansion West was happening. And it was the Missouri Compromise. Can you pull up
Starting point is 00:44:57 the Missouri Compromise? The Missouri Compromise was, the whole purpose of it was to limit the spread of the peculiar institution of slavery
Starting point is 00:45:15 in 1820. So this was a long-standing law that prohibited slavery in the new Louisiana territory. Louisiana territory. And the Missouri Compromise
Starting point is 00:45:36 was repealed by the Kansas-Nebraska Act in 1854. Now, who the fuck was that? Was that Millard Fillmore? Because I know, yeah, I think that was Fillmore, right? That made the Kansas-Nebraska Act? That repealed the Missouri Compromise and allowed slavery to spread.
Starting point is 00:46:01 That was Millard Fillmore. So he did that shit, too. that was Miller Fillmore. So he did that shit too, even as a wig, which was, who repealed the Missouri Compromise? Who did it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Well, it was 1854. It was 1854. The Compromise, 18... So when did he leave office, this motherfucker? He got in there... 1854. Yeah, when did he leave office, this motherfucker? He got in there. 1854. Yeah, I think it was him, dog. I think it was this fucking guy. Let me take my glasses off.
Starting point is 00:46:34 I'm pretty sure. So, that's what he did. Yeah, I mean, you know, he joined the Whig Party, and he presented himself as, like, a loyal Whig, just like Donald Trump joined the Republican Party, and, you know, presented himself as a Republican. I can't find who repealed it, but it is, oh, effectively repealed by Stephen A. Douglas' Kansas-Nebraska Act. So that's the dude who made the Kansas-Nebraska act. And I think it was just a choice in Congress or something, and that's what sparked
Starting point is 00:47:10 the return of Abe Lincoln. That's right. Then Lincoln and fucking Stephen Douglas had some debates. They both ran for, you know, they were both in Congress and they ran against each other, and Lincoln won, man. How different would it be if Stephen Douglas won?
Starting point is 00:47:26 I mean, you know, shit. Who knows what would happen? So that's what Fillmore did. He joined. He presented himself as a loyal Whig, sort of like Donald Trump presents himself as a Republican. But, you know, he's all over the place. You know, I mean, when you look back at his career, Phil Moore, it started with this sort of bizarre hostility against the Freemasons. And he just was focused on them, you know, sort of like a conspiracy theory, how they were like, you know, making decisions behind in a dark room or behind a dark curtain about the country. He was all into conspiracy theories, ethnic hatred, and anti-Catholic fervor.
Starting point is 00:48:12 And he served four terms in the House of Representatives. So that's where he differs from Donald Trump. He differs from Donald Trump in that he did serve in public office, serve in public office and he energetically supported higher tariffs that was one thing that he wanted so that's kind of similar to Donald Trump
Starting point is 00:48:34 with his fucking tariff war he's like alright you gonna tax us? we gonna fucking tax you so that's another thing yeah can tax you so um that's another thing um yeah and so he the thing of the slavery thing is interesting because he he pretended to kind of really be opposed to it but he kind of shunned abolitionists too um so he was really the person that was kind of stretching what the Whig Party believed. Because the Whig Party was against it.
Starting point is 00:49:08 You think by any chance that Trump studied Fillmore? Maybe. I don't know. Trump talks about Andrew Jackson all the time. Andrew Jackson, he did a lot of good things besides the fucking... I mean, at the time. He was a slaveholder,
Starting point is 00:49:24 all that shit. You judge him that way from history but andrew jackson i think is viewed by most historians as a successful president for a lot of the things he did the one horrible thing that he did of course was um you know made native americans march to those little you know kind of Americans marched to those little, you know, kind of circumscribed Indian areas that are now called reservations and fucking stole their land and a lot of- A trail of tears, march of tears, something like that, right? Yeah. Was that Jackson? Can you look that shit up?
Starting point is 00:49:55 Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that was specifically during Jackson, but I think it could be. I mean, he made them do it. You know? could be i mean he made him do it you know so when he when philmore was on the ticket with um with taylor he would like i said he was seen as a real ticket bouncer because he was going to get that sort of northern vote he had that appeal um but because he wasn't anti-slavery he would ride the line a little bit he would still appeal to those southerners who needed reassurance
Starting point is 00:50:32 I mean this was the zeitgeist that was really the big issue at the time was the spread of slavery and so yeah the stomach virus is called cholera by the way cholera? cholera yeah yeah so what happened with the compromise here The stomach virus is called cholera, by the way. Cholera? Cholera. Cholera, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Yeah. So what happened with the compromise here? This is what happened. This is what fucking happened. Henry Clay in Congress proposed a series of bills that came to be called the Compromise of 1850. But it was a lopsidedly pro-slavery package. And Taylor refused it. So Zachary Taylor refused to support it, even though he was from Virginia. So, you know, the anti-slavery was gaining a lot of power.
Starting point is 00:51:15 You can tell in the 80s, that's interesting to know, that there was a lot of people who were against it, and they were just trying to keep this union together. They were trying to appease the Southerner South. You know, when you're running for political office, you're trying to appease the southerner south you know when you're running for political office you're trying to appease the southerners uh appease their fears uh and you also want to appease this sort of anti-slavery sentiment and a lot of uh the anti-slavery sentiment was economic based as well so it wasn't just moral um but when taylor died um the pro-slavery forces found themselves a nice unlikely ally although wink wink they knew he was a likely ally i think he fucking had him killed
Starting point is 00:51:54 i'm telling you that right now i think millard fillmore had zachary taylor killed because look at what he did when he got in office a A fucking northern wig from an abolitionist state in New York in 18-fucking- He was willing to open the Southwest to slavery. So it was him. It was Millard Fillmore. Before the Kansas-Nebraska Act, the Compromise of 1850, passed by Congress and, of course, signed by Fillmore, passed by Congress and, of course, signed by Fillmore, undid the 30-year-old Missouri Compromise, which held slavery in its place and didn't allow it to expand.
Starting point is 00:52:37 So that predated the fucking Adams. What's his name? No, Stephen Douglas. What's the fucking name? Stephen Douglas. Stephen Douglas. Stephen Adams. I mean, it's always a Douglas or an Adams when you look back in history.
Starting point is 00:52:49 So that's what happened. That's what happened. On that same note, it was actually Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren. Trail of Tears? Yeah. And that was Andrew Jackson's first priority when he took office. Yeah, he wanted to really, yeah. And he's a multiple war hero, right? I mean, he beat the British at one.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I think he's responsible for beating the Seminoles and annexing Florida. He killed a lot of fucking Indians, that guy, which is what's brutal. But he also, I mean, he's a complicated guy, Andrew Jackson, because he had a lot of successes as well. So we won't know. And Miller Fillmore is fucking forgotten. He's considered one of the most useless presidents in history, one of the biggest failures. So we won't know until Donald Trump is either, I don't know, you know, out of office or impeached or whatever the fuck's going to happen, which one he'll be more compared to.
Starting point is 00:53:45 But, yeah, he annexed Florida. I know that, right? Andrew Jackson's Seminole War. So he was a... And then New Orleans. I mean, he... I think New Orleans was a big battle for him. I think he won that from the British.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Just do Andrew Jackson fucking wars. Which ones he fought. So he was a big war hero. And so that's why the people who argue that Millard Fillmore is the one you can compare Donald Trump to more. Is because Donald Trump is not a fucking war hero. And Millard Fillmore was not a war hero. Millard Fillmore was more of a divisive personality which is what these people who make that comparison
Starting point is 00:54:26 between Fillmore and Trump consider Trump to be more of a divisive. So what do you get? Battle of Taga? Creek War. Battle of Talladega. The big one
Starting point is 00:54:38 where he became a real big hero was the War of 1812. He got a lot of rings. Battle of New Orleans. The Seminole Wars. Yeah, that's when they annexed, that's when they made Florida
Starting point is 00:54:48 part of the United States. They stole it from the Spanish. The big one was the War of 1812 where he was like a big reason why the United States won. That's where he became a huge war hero. Yeah, Battle of New Orleans
Starting point is 00:54:59 was a big one too. This guy's got a huge war resume, Andrew Jackson. Yeah. I mean, this guy, and he was around since the revolutionary war so he'd been doing he uh he's born in 67 um in north carolina between north carolina south carolina in the wax halls region i don't know what the fuck that is
Starting point is 00:55:18 somewhere in the south became a lawyer and then he was a fucking war hero and you're right yeah to be the the brit the battle in new orleans in the war of 1812 against the british really fucking made him and he defeated the spanish um and the seminoles to take florida so donald trump didn't do no shit like that and andrew jackson wasn't really that divisive. And that's why they argue. Yeah, he knew who he didn't like. He didn't really sit on the fence about it. No, and Andrew Jackson was extremely popular.
Starting point is 00:55:53 I think, can we look at the landslide? I mean, he was eight years, I think. He was reelected, and I think it was a fucking landslide. Because I know, and that, you know, it's interesting to talk about because it's really, it's been historians and people who think about this type of shit and I agree,
Starting point is 00:56:10 have kind of narrowed it down to two presidents that they compare Donald Trump to and there's people who are more on the Andrew Jackson fence, which obviously Donald Trump considers himself more like Andrew Jackson
Starting point is 00:56:21 than there's people, there's a new group of people, Miller Fillmore. I see the Miller Fillmore more. Yeah. group of people uh, Miller Fillmore, I see the Miller Fillmore more I can definitely see the Miller Fillmore so what happened was, presidential election 1824, yeah I remember this um, uh, John Quincy
Starting point is 00:56:36 Adams was elected by the House of Representatives after Andrew Jackson won most of the popular and electoral vote but failed to receive a majority. Interesting. It's kind of weird because nowadays people win the popular but still lose. So he won the most popular and electoral votes, but failed to reach.
Starting point is 00:56:58 That doesn't make any sense. And then in the next election, he won. He beat the same guy. Yeah. sense and then in the next election he won he beat the same guy yeah so he so they gave it the congress um the house of representatives took it away from jackson and gave it to john quincy adams but that doesn't make any sense i don't understand that he won the popular can you figure that out what does that mean why did they he won the they're saying he won the popular and electoral vote but didn't get a majority that that doesn't make sense that doesn't fucking make sense but
Starting point is 00:57:30 anyway he won the next election by a landslide by a fucking landslide um as a democrat right yeah he was a democrat he was a democrat bad he was a democrat back then they called them democratic republicans fucking wild how it's all switched and then the wig party became republicans and the democrats became uh i mean the the wig party became republicans and the democratic party just became the democrats and the wig party disappeared And so did the Know Nothing Party, which is what Millard Fillmore joined after he lost re-election. So that's a very interesting, interesting, interesting fucking thing. Yeah, the Fugitive Slave Act. fucking thing um yeah the fugitive slave act also like we said before which fillmore was also responsible for um was brutal man it was brutal and um federal commissioners were appointed
Starting point is 00:58:41 nationwide and they were given the power to adjudicate these fugitive slave claims. And they could assemble, like, these local posses to capture slaves. So it got kind of chaotic. And the law really, like I said, the law, what separated it from the 1793 law, the original law, was that it imposed harsh penalties on anyone caught aiding a fugitive slave, which really appeased his Southern folks, even though he was in a Northern party that was anti-slavery. So just like Donald Trump is kind of stretching what the Republican Party is, because the Republican Party used to be Christian, conservative, you know, a free market. Now he's like he's fucking with the market internationally. He wants to impose tariffs. He's fucking wants to lift sanctions on Russia with a Russia where the Republican Party is really tough on Russia, has been tough on Russia. So he's really
Starting point is 00:59:48 doing a lot of things that are the exact opposite of what the Republican Party traditionally did and traditionally was. So in that way, you can really see a clear comparison to Millard Fillmore who's, like I said, with
Starting point is 01:00:03 the Missouri Compromise and with the Fugitive Slave Act, kind of doing the opposite of what his party would want him to do. He was doing more what the Democratic Republicans would want him to do, which had a huge foothold in the sales. In the sales. So we got some of this Andrew Jackson confusion settled. So you need 131 electoral points to be elected president. And this is one of the only inconclusive elections. So no one reached the 131 electoral votes necessary even though andrew jackson had i think over 40 000 he had 41.4 percent of the popular vote so he won that but uh the decision
Starting point is 01:00:55 eventually went to the house of representatives because no one had the necessary electoral votes and they chose john quincy adams the son of John Adams. Yeah, from Mass. Look at that count. So he actually had more people. Andrew just said that he... Yeah, so that's just... That's Donald Trump's fucking fantasy. That he's...
Starting point is 01:01:15 Because he's actually the opposite. He wants to believe he's the people, but he's actually... He lost the popular vote by a lot, by a couple million. Yeah, by like three million. Yeah, a lot of people. To somebody who people fucking hated.
Starting point is 01:01:28 I mean, he lost 3 million to Hillary Clinton and Hillary Clinton's one of the least liked people. Just viscerally people don't like her. Do you think she's coming back? Do you think that it's going to be a rematch? I mean, if she fucking, if she's the Jason Voorhees and keeps crawling out of that goddamn lake and won't stay dead. We've got 4 more years of Trump then.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Then it'll be four more years. I hope not, to be honest with you. That's my personal opinion. Trump is a fucking maniac. It's got to be like Oprah or The Rock. Someone big has to come. The seal's broken. We're not going back to normal after this.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Nobody's got the attention span for that shit anymore. Some senator went to Yale, been in the Senate for know been in the senate for 20 years gets up there gives his first nomination speech that's everyone left and right it's gonna be like fucking boring something spicy yeah dude are you fucking a porn star is there hush money at least the vice president needs to be like beyonce yes something i mean we are there we're done we're fucking done kanye kanye yeah so after um after uh the democrats won the next the 1852 election in a landslide um the wigs vanished from politics and um they became the anti-slavery Republican Party. At the time, Republican Party was vehemently anti-slavery.
Starting point is 01:02:50 And then that set the stage for Douglas and Lincoln to go at it years later, about a decade later after that. But this was all building. This was all percolating. after that but this was all building this was all percolating um and fillmore after like i said after he lost that election he went and joined um the it was called the quote-unquote know nothing party and he ran as its presidential nominee again in 1856 with the slogan americans must rule america rule America. So similar. And five years later, Americans were ripping America apart. Five years later, there was a civil war.
Starting point is 01:03:32 So five years later after that, there was a civil war. And a lot of historians, some people, I'm just saying, even me, you can kind of tell that he was a part of kind of Miller Fillmore added, you know, he added sticks to that fire. He contributed to that divide, to that, you know, what made violence inevitable, what made a civil, inevitable. He contributed to that shit with the Fugitive Slave Act, the newer one, the Missouri Compromise, ripping the party apart, the anti-slavery Whig Party.
Starting point is 01:04:12 He fucking killed it himself. And, you know, as Abraham Lincoln was trying to preserve the union as he was president, Fucking Fillmore was on the sidelines living in Buffalo. I think he became the president of the University of Buffalo or some shit. He was part of the University of Buffalo, which he founded, which is why he's such a controversial figure in Buffalo, because he's behind the University of Buffalo, but he's also a dick. He's a big fucking dick. So he would criticize, you you know with his little fucking
Starting point is 01:04:46 writings about lincoln so he's just on the wrong side of history and to make matters even better he was the 13th president which is an unlucky number um so he just fucking lives in obscurity now but um you know when you look back a real big part of what uh american history became um is in the destructive personality of millard fillmore who was kind of a wolf in wigs clothing yeah i just made that up he was a fucking southern slave owning sympathizer in wigs clothing who became president because Andrew because of Zachary Taylor the war hero
Starting point is 01:05:33 died and even though Zachary Taylor was opposed to the repealing of the Missouri Compromise as it stood um really feel more got in there. He allowed slavery to spread and acted as a fugitive act
Starting point is 01:05:52 and then fucking ripped the divide even more. And that's what Donald Trump's doing. Ripping the divide open even more. So let us know what you think. Is Donald Trump more like Andrew Jackson or Millard Fillmore
Starting point is 01:06:06 I think based on the facts you could draw I mean the facts are going to tell you Millard Fillmore but if you're a big Trump person which is your fucking right I don't care I really don't give a shit anymore about nothing all I care about is the history hyenas you're probably going to go the emotional route and go Andrew Jackson
Starting point is 01:06:23 even though like me andis just pointed out, there is no real fucking comparison. He's not a war hero. He wasn't extremely popular. And he didn't win the popular vote. So there you have it. Now, before we go, there's one stone we left unturned that I want to know. It's like, what were his accomplishments, Andrew Jackson?
Starting point is 01:06:43 I want to know because there are, he is considered, I think, so controversial. And I think we should talk about him a little bit, because there are a lot of people who think, you know, Donald Trump's like Andrew Jackson, like I said. The person leading that, the biggest cheerleader for that is donald trump himself so what did he do a lot of his accomplishments are war related so he's as president as president go with the as president yeah what did he do he did some stuff as president i think um federal reserve yeah biggest accomplishments as president come on i find it us a fucking quick one major accomplishments if we could go to the and historical significance that one might do it oh that's a video though yeah yeah i'm gonna pause this we'll find it hold on i hit the space bar right yeah yeah okay here we go we're back even
Starting point is 01:07:41 though it we didn't go anywhere to you we were gone let's say imagine we did 20 hours of research no we just pulled it up um he was the only president to completely pay off the national debt so he's the only president to ever do that to completely pay off the national debt um which was one of his goals um he yeah the it was the the bad thing that he did was called the Indian Removal Act in 1830 you could kind of say what's going on, build that wall
Starting point is 01:08:14 Obama deported a lot of people too so you can't forget that I don't know if there's much of a the Indian Removal Act relocated most of the Native Americans in the South to Indian territories. Now they're on reservation. You guys know the story.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Teal the Trail of Tears. You know the deal. You know the freaking deal. But he definitely opposed the abolitionist movement, too. So he was the dick there, too. Big dick there. But because he opposed it, I think it probably grew stronger. So you can kind of thank him for being a dick because I think that really started mobilizing people in a lot of ways.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Foreign affairs. He did a treaty with Great Britain that settled the damages against the French during the Napoleonic Wars. And he officially recognized the Republic of Texas. They tried to shoot him. Somebody tried to shoot him in 1835. This is the first president to survive an assassination attempt. Yeah, I mean, you know. A Democrat.
Starting point is 01:09:22 He's a fucking Democrat. a democrat he's a fucking democrat um he's a big part of the uh annexation of texas which was accomplished um by uh martin van buren and james polka you know but he was a big part of an advocate for that and that happened um so he did some good things and he did some horrible things when you look back at history from from now you'll from the vantage point of where we are now obviously you say the bad was more than the good um one of the uh greatest feats that kind of goes untouched is he vetoed an act to uh recharter the institution of banks because he said it was the advancement of the few at the expense of the many. Yeah, he was a big populist and he hated banks. He got what did he do?
Starting point is 01:10:15 He got it out. He yeah, he vetoed a bill that was being passed through Congress. Yeah. He was he passed through Congress. Yeah. He was... He hated the banks. Yeah, I'm reading that right now. He also first president to get impeached. They dismantled the banks.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Jackson and his allies thoroughly dismantled the... So he led the effort to reauthorize the Second Bank of the United States. Henry Clay led the effort to reauthorize the second bank of the United States. Henry Clay led the effort to reauthorize the second bank of the United States. Jackson regarded the bank regarded the banks as fucking corrupt and he vetoed it. You're right. And boom. And after a struggle he had it dismantled.
Starting point is 01:10:56 And he paid off the national debt. So he did some things but he got impeached. What did he get impeached for this cat? What did Jackson get fucking impeached for we're just giving you a little bit of Jackson just because we gave you so much of film war
Starting point is 01:11:12 and there's a lot more to Jackson anyway even though we're not focusing on him but us focusing on Jackson right now makes it that we probably will not cover him again I mean there's so much to cover I mean God we're here trying to teach you guys history. I mean, what would you do without us?
Starting point is 01:11:31 You know, entertaining you while we teach you history. What do you get impeached for, Ice? So, actually, we were talking about this, about removing certain office holders. His biggest charge was violating the Tenure of Office Act, which protected certain office holders that he fired without the approval of the Senate. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Tendencies.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Those dictator tendencies. That's why the founding fathers are so genius, man. Because power corrupts. Absolute power. Yeah, basically he was getting crazy with his power. He was trying to get crazy. And thank God we got checks and balances. The genius of those Renaissance men who are our founding fathers.
Starting point is 01:12:16 You know? Their genius crosses party lines, guys. So no matter what you believe, whether you vote red or blue, you got to say the institutions of our government pretty fucking solid. Pretty genius. Shout out to John Locke and all the fucking people that set the stage for our government and constitution. Well, there you have it. Now we move on to the nature aspect
Starting point is 01:12:45 because look all of history involves homo sapiens sapiens we're nature's little fucking favorite animal and all of the spirit of the times in history is based
Starting point is 01:13:02 on the environment on nature we all live in nature. And if you want to know the truth, like Albert Einstein said, you want to know the truth about anything, everything, life, look deep into nature. Those are where the answers are. So here we go. Some fucking cool.
Starting point is 01:13:20 For a change, we're going to mix it up. We're going to give you a nice one. This is the first animal video we have shown on this podcast. Cool. For a change, we're going to mix it up. We're going to give you a nice one. This is the first animal video we have shown on this podcast that does not have the murder. There's no murder in this one. This is a feel-good one. Now, this is a video about, at the time, the dog has since passed away. But this dog, this Border Collie,
Starting point is 01:13:41 and Border Collies are considered to be the smartest of all the dog breeds. They're mainly used for sheep herding. That's what they were bred for. But they're fucking brilliant, these fucking things. I'm saying fucking a lot because that's what I do. And so this was a piece on that dog with Neil deGrasse Tyson. This is cool. With pride, if our dogs can respond to two or three commands but
Starting point is 01:14:05 what if we haven't begun to understand the possibilities of what the animal mind can really do our friend astrophysicist neil degrasse tyson is host of nova science now and he brings us big news from the frontier meet chaser walk up beloved six-year-old border collie of psychology professor John Pilly. Good girl. John Pilly's like 104. He was born to live in the Scottish mountains. Look how old this guy is. Tunnel, tunnel, tunnel. And herd sheep. Go, go. John has taught Chaser to tend an extremely large, if unconventional, herd of a thousand toys. And she knows the name of every single one of these? I hope. I find this hard to believe, so
Starting point is 01:14:47 I test Chaser's memory with a random sampling. Chaser, find Inky. Can you pause it real quick? You think Neil deGrasse Tyson, he probably got no puss coming up, but now he's kind of starting to get puss. Yeah, he has to.
Starting point is 01:15:03 He's a charismatic guy. He's a smart guy, but he's kind of starting to get puss. Yeah, he has to. He's a charismatic guy. He's a smart guy, but he's really probably the most media-friendly astrophysicist. Because astrophysicists, they don't really score high on the personality chart usually. But this guy, he's the exception. Well, I think it's usually they're just away solving problems of the earth. Yeah, and they're always a little, you know, their social skills is when you're in your brain like that all day. But Neil deGrasse Tyson, I mean, he got the person.
Starting point is 01:15:30 He's an anomaly. He's an anomaly. Yeah, good word. Anomaly. Good word. So anyway, yeah, we confess. So Chaser basically knows a thousand. He knows the names of these toys that are all named,
Starting point is 01:15:42 and there's a thousand of them. That is fucking crazy to think that a dog, dude, I could not remember a thousand fucking names. One of the craziest things you've ever said was dogs like hurt. I can't herd sheep. You were like, dogs hurt sheep. That's fucking wild. I can't do that.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Yeah, I can't do that either. But dogs can fucking do it and they keep them in a herd and it's very important. You don't want to fucking stray. You want to keep the sheep together. Fucking wolves are kind and it protects the important. You don't want to fucking stray. You want to keep the sheep together. Fucking wolves are kind. And it protects the sheep because wolves are trying to, everything's trying to eat those fucking sheep, and the dogs bark them off.
Starting point is 01:16:10 Wild. So this dog, Chaser, with his 104-year-old professor owner, good thing this dog is smart because if the owner had to walk him and he was like, if that dog had, if that owner had, you know, had like a two-year-old terrier or something, or an energetic dog, he would pull that old man right over and break his hip. So Chaser can walk himself, thank God. So that would let the owner live a little longer. So fast forward a little bit to what he does.
Starting point is 01:16:38 So basically, he tests him on a few, and Chaser gets him right. And then, well, you got to go back a little bit. I'm sorry. It's still in here. Yeah. Yeah. Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:50 Go back, back, back, back, back to about right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going to see if she picks out Darwin by inference. Find Darwin. Pause it real quick. So what he did was he was like, he introduced a toy that she had never seen before, that Chaser had never known, and he named it Darwin.
Starting point is 01:17:16 So he just put it back there, and he just put it there. Chaser didn't see it. He put the toy behind the couch where all the other toys are, and he said, find Darwin. So Chaser has no reference for which toy is Darwin. So what Neil deGrasse Tyson wants to see is if because he knows the names of all the other toys there, he chooses Darwin because it's the only one that's not the names that he knows. So in other words, the dog goes, this one must be Darwin because all these other ones are not Darwin.
Starting point is 01:17:45 And watch what this fucking. That's some smart fucking thinking. That's a smart. The fact that an animal can even do that is. That shows it's like fucking thinking. Now watch it. This is wild. I have to ask her again.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Okay, Chaser. Chaser, Chaser, Chaser. Find Darwin. Darwin. Darwin! He's got Darwin! She did it! Chaser's never seen that doll before, yet she settled on the one toy she didn't know by deduction. It's similar to the way children learn language.
Starting point is 01:18:20 But how does Chaser's ability compare with other species? Besides us, chimps and bonobos are the animal kingdom's top linguists, capable of learning sign language, but very slowly. They can solve some sophisticated problems, but they don't always pay close attention to humans. When I see my dog, my dog wants me to be around. Whereas a bonobo and chimpanzee, they don't need me. They're basically like, hey, you got any food? Can I get any food off of you? They're not interested in making me happy. Since dogs do like to please us,
Starting point is 01:18:48 then humans need to find a way to tap the potential in all of our dogs. Okay, put it in the tub. And dogs like Chaser are just waiting for us to discover all that they can do. Smart dog. So, yeah, that's basically it. So, basically, the suggestion is and we i think we talked about it like in a lot of ways for our purposes as far as working with us dogs are smarter than our closest ancestor and we already spoke about how close we are to them i mean 90 was it 99 96 96 percent so we're pretty similar but yet dogs in a lot of
Starting point is 01:19:29 ways are smarter problem solve quicker because they're they've just evolved to cooperate with us so efficiently so efficaciously efficaciously and chimps they you know chimps are just like what the fuck are you doing around dude you know aren's kind of crazy when you think about it that it's an animal that put its puts like you before itself and that's kind of what makes it so smart yeah exactly it's kind of wow it's like the perfect it's like a dog is basically a slave to a human and that's what it feels the most purpose is when it's like doing exactly what you want it to do that's what a fulfilled dog is that's why if you're a dog owner don't treat your dog like a kid or exactly what you want it to do. That's what a fulfilled dog is. That's why if you're a dog owner, don't treat your dog like a kid or a person.
Starting point is 01:20:08 You want to simulate jobs for the dog based on its personality and its breed. That's what makes a dog living in the amenities of modernity where you don't need to use. That's going to come up a lot. We may make a t-shirt, amenities of modernity. Yeah, bad. But if a dog is not working, but you have them as a pet simulate jobs simulate that's what fulfills a dog even
Starting point is 01:20:32 sit lay down all that shit is jobs and that's what fulfills a dog that's what makes a dog happy is when it's working for you even it doesn't know the difference if it's a real job or simulated so there you got a little free dog tip for me as well. Now, I think we got one more video. Is that it? Oh, yeah. This one is not friendly.
Starting point is 01:20:51 And this is how we're going to end it. Because, you know, we do comedy and then we love to balance it out with a real tragedy, a video that's really tough to watch. Now, again, dogs evolved from wolves. They are the direct descendants of fucking wolves. Now, these wolves, unlike dogs, not so friendly. So these are, this is a wolf pack, brutally attacking what has become the lowest member of the pack, which is called the Omega Wolf. And they run up on him bad.
Starting point is 01:21:32 Now, there's the Omega Wolf just chilling. He sensed it. Now here comes the leaders of the pack. The alphas. Oh, there's four alphas just surrounded the Omega for no reason. They're just surrounding him. One of them took a bite. Now they're just surrounding him. And now the rest of the pack... Oh, there's four alphas just surrounded the Omega for no reason. They're just surrounding him. One of them took a bite. Now they're just surrounding him.
Starting point is 01:21:47 And now the rest of the pack... Oh, now they start fucking him up. Now they're biting. And the rest of the pack follows him. And all the pack runs over and starts fucking him up. Oh, it's brutal. You can hear it. They're not laughing.
Starting point is 01:22:03 Those aren't laughs. Oh, God. They're not laughing Those aren't laughs Oh god The whole pack is now Biting The Omega Wolf The lowest wolf Because he has been deemed the weakest Oh nature is fucking brutal dude He's trying to fight back
Starting point is 01:22:21 There's too many of them Swipe it yeah He's trying to fight back. There's too many of them. Gee, it's so hard to watch. Swipe it, yeah. It's so hard to watch. But you gotta watch it because this is nature. Oh, God. It has a purpose. His weakness slows the pack down.
Starting point is 01:22:43 It's that harsh to survive. That's what reality is. These wolves are not propped up by the amenities of maternity. That was a good way to bring it all around. Oh, God, it's tough to watch. He's just getting jumped. He's pushed up against the fence. He really is looking for some sort of way out.
Starting point is 01:23:07 He's trying to get out, but he's surrounded. And he's just getting bit up. Now, those are wolf bites. Those are not fucking when you're, you know, when it's your birthday and you get birthday punches. Those are not charley horses. Those are wolf bites.
Starting point is 01:23:23 So the video ends. We don't know what happens to the wolf, but I can guarantee you it's not good. Yeah. I don't think they made up. I don't think they shook paws and made up after that. I mean, he just took maybe about, what was that, 30 to 40 wolf bites all over his body. So he's in bad shape. And even if he survives, are you you just gonna hang out with the people who just jumped you
Starting point is 01:23:46 yeah no they're gonna leave his ass and then you know that's fucked up because there's a new wolf that becomes the omega and you're like fuck now it's my turn
Starting point is 01:23:53 but I don't know I don't think they do I think they only do that when they deem that the wolf is like really really weak and they just gang up on him so whenever you see kids
Starting point is 01:24:03 in like a playground and they like start bullying a kid, that shit is in us. That kid is weak. That kid is weak and it's in us. It's just in us and it's brutes, magoots. Of course we're human, so we got to use reason more.
Starting point is 01:24:16 And reason does not come naturally to us. We're not a reason. We're an emotional species. We're a species that responds to instincts and emotions to survive um so reason is something that has to you have to turn on you have to be taught to be logical and reasonable and um you know whenever people says uh you know uh may may you know have faith or i'm like, no, have fucking reason. I believe in reason.
Starting point is 01:24:48 Faith is fucking scary. ISIS is fucking works on faith. He blows people up. Bang. Only if it's reasonable. Only if it's reasonable. So, on behalf of Trash Monkey, Chrissy Sudote,
Starting point is 01:25:03 who's not here, Zach Isis, myself. Thank you for listening to the History Hayden Podcast. We do have new members. Wow, we've been going long. When Chrissy's not here, you know what the problem is? I talk too long. That's the great thing about Chrissy. It gets wild.
Starting point is 01:25:17 Chrissy keeps it shorter, which is good, because we are fucking wild. So because I kept it wild, you're not going to get any fucking Patreon episodes, but me and Chrissy will double up or quadruple up on Patreon episodes. Those are special episodes for our Patreon members only. Go to Patreon. Sign up.
Starting point is 01:25:36 Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Join our channel. One buck a month, five bucks a month. You know you're supporting us. You get the bonus podcasts, which there are a ton of, a backlog of, that if you're just listening for free,
Starting point is 01:25:48 just go fucking sign up. Support us for a buck a month. You get to listen to all those extra episodes. Plus, we're going to be posting all types of crazy content. If you recommend five friends and prove it to us, and you get five of your friends
Starting point is 01:26:01 to start listening to History Hyenas podcast, Chrissy DiStefano will come to where you live and suck your dick. And I'll send you an autographed photo. But here are the new members of our, you know what it is now? Fucking cackle. Our matriarchy, but our cackle as well.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Thank you for joining us. Here we go. Jonathan Gerardo. He's Italian. Here we go. Jonathan Gerardo. He's Italian. Is that Italian? Jonathan Gerardo? Gerardi. That's it.
Starting point is 01:26:31 Gerardo's Italian. Yeah. Dr. Nick. Finally, Dr. Nick signed up. Fucking, did we read these already? Is that the guy that Chris sent his shit to? That's the ass doctor. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Very cool. No, yeah, yeah. These are, are these old? This is from June 14th he sent it to me. What are we in, July? Yeah. These are fucking old. Yeah, we're in July.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Where's Bardo? Where's the fucking new ones, Bardo? He sent them to me. Where's Bardo? Dude, Bardo is on some sort of... Did we do these ones? Big Relio, Ken Marshall, Spencer Carlson, Jason, Jackie Mustafa, Shannon McNamee, Brian Wisniewski, Henry Sardegnas, Tom Hendricks. I don't think we did those. I don't think we did those.
Starting point is 01:27:25 I don't think so. But you just got your fucking name, Brett. So there you go. We've been long already, and I'm just double-checking to make sure that that's the latest. I don't know. We'll get it all straightened out when Chrissy's back next week. So I'll be at Uncle Vin vinnie's point pleasant new jersey um in august on um the 8th to the 11th and me and chris will be together at the borgata
Starting point is 01:27:58 in atlantic city from the 5th to the 8th so august 5th to the 8th, me and Chris will be at the Borgata in Atlantic City. From the 9th to the 11th, we'll be at Uncle Vinny's. That's a fun August. So if you live in Jersey, come out to either one of those. Check me out alone at Uncle Vinny's or both of us at the Borgata. We love you, and we'll speak to you fucking next time. Cackles out. ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់

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