History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 28 - USS Indianapolis was WILD!!!
Episode Date: August 19, 2018Yannis and Chris go over the wild story of the USS Indianapolis with comedian and former navy sailor KP! WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get... really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up? I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy D, a.k.a. King Gay.
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. What's up everybody?
Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas. I am Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. CMMPT, Chrissy Mashed Potato Tits, with my boy and fellow homosexual-in-waiting, Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Freddy Feta Cheese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k when you don't gel your hair? You know what you look like? What? You look like an Italian kid who's been sitting in outdoor lawn furniture in the middle of a schoolyard
all day.
Yep.
Yeah.
With Reeboks and no socks on.
Yep.
With Catholic tattoos all over.
Yep.
And you go get a hero
and a fucking Budweiser.
If you want to look at,
if you want to get a glimpse
into what I would look like
with not having my hair gelled
and growing up in the suburbs,
then Google a picture of our guest, K.P. Burke.
Because that's exactly what Chrissy D would look like
if he was from the fields of New Jersey.
You're from New Jersey, right?
Yeah, I'm taking this as a compliment, bro.
Absolutely, dude.
You just look like, yeah, Irish.
You guys look like cousins.
We're cousins, yeah.
Somewhere, somewhere. Yeah, like me and you. I see you every year at Aileen's house for Thanksgiving yeah. You guys look like cousins. We're cousins. Somewhere. Somewhere.
Like me and you. I see you every year
at A. Nightly's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, that's right.
KB's a good kid, KP Burke.
One of the two of you is going to die of cirrhosis
of the liver. For sure.
Well, KP
Burke's fellow comic, great guy,
was in the Navy. Today's episode's going to be
about the USS Indianapolis, and let me tell
you something. This story is fucking wild.
And we got a fucking sailor, a seaman himself, KP Burke, on the show.
I just worked with KP at Bananas.
By the way, thank you for the History Ahina fans and the Bay Ridge Boys fans who showed
up at Bananas Comedy Club, which is in a conference room in the Holiday Inn off the
side of Route 17 in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey.
Hot show.
Yeah.
So you really made that, you really made that, you know, made me feel a lot better
when, you know, because sometimes you do shows at the Holiday Inn and, you know, you can't
help but say, should I walk into traffic?
Should I do this show?
You know, that club's been there for a long time.
Shout out, by the way, shout out to Bananas Comedy Club.
If you want to see a great fucking comedy show in the New Jersey area, I personally
think Bananas is one of the better options.
It is.
Because it's literally been there for 35 years.
When you go into that comedy club and you look at the walls of the Holiday Inn, you think all you're going to see is bullshit wallpaper and signs that say employees must wash their hands.
But what you'll see is actual pictures of all the celebrity comedians who have performed there at one point in their career.
Jimmy Fallon, Louis C.K., Colin Quinn.
Everybody's performed there.
Amy Schumer.
They've all performed there at Bananas.
You have to go through Bananas
if you do comedy in New York.
You have to.
The only route to stardom is through Bananas.
So go check it out.
And it's impressive that they put up that wall
every Friday and Saturday for the shows
and then take it down.
Take it down because it's just
a regular hotel conference room.
So they have to put their shit up.
And then the people who were in there for the fucking Geico conference Monday morning
don't know the absurdity that just happened the night before.
Look, if you want to feel like a real professional stand-up comedian,
you have to perform in front of a banana made out of colored paper.
Yes, that's what it is.
That's when it really hits you,
like, you know what?
I'm a fucking, I'm a pro.
I'm a pro comic.
And, you know, the fans in New Jersey were great.
Like I said, thank you so much
for the fans of the podcast,
fans of Bay Ridge Boys to come out,
and thank you for the people
who didn't know who I was,
who, you know, the room just got papered,
you know, for, you know, New Jersey Trump faces,
and I appreciate you guys coming out, too.
I mean, there was one guy
who kept asking me when it was
going to end while it was on stage. And I was like,
you're live from my set. And he said both.
Well, here's a good thing about bananas too.
If you want a water with
lemon in it, you know?
Or water that's been marinating
with orange peels in it, you can walk
out into the lobby and get yourself a
nice plastic cup of nice lobby hotel
water and walk right back into the showroom. And that's fucking cup of nice lobby hotel water. That's it.
And walk right back into the showroom.
It's right there.
And that's fucking cute.
Yeah, that's cute because the Holiday Inn staff is just, you know, it's just your standard
hotel off the side of the highway staff.
It's illegal immigrants and Eastern European people that barely speak English.
That's who staffs the Holiday Inns.
Who the fuck stays at that on Hasbro Kites?
Guys like us.
See, here's another thing.
So we do that gig. We do that gig in Hasbro Kites. We're, you See, here's another thing. So we do that gig. We do
that gig in Hasbro Kites. We're, you know,
both live in Bay Ridge, and it's
only about a 40-minute drive for us, but
the comics who come from L.A., they have to stay
at that Holiday Inn. The Comedy Club is great,
and the hotel is clean, but you have
to understand, you're off the side of a highway. So if you've ever been
driving in any part of the country, and you say,
who would ever stay in that hotel off the side of the highway?
That's Chrissy D and Yanni P. That's where we stay when we do these comedy gigs for you.
So when you guys show up at the gigs, it helps us out so much.
How hilarious was it that this weekend you were at Bananas and I was at Uncle Vinny's?
We were doing Jersey bad this weekend.
The only thing missing was Soul Joel.
Soul Joel, yeah.
A.K.A. the Kung Fu Panda.
Uncle Vinny's is a comedy club in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, a little beach town run by the
great Dino, who knows what his last name is, Dino Mafia Face.
Who has the greatest photo in his office of him and his brother.
It's the best.
With the gold chains out and their dogs.
It looks like the back of a funeral car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks like, well, and again.
It looks like they both died in a car accident and then the other side of that has a prayer to St. Mary on it.
They got football faces on too, like they're staring through the camera like they don't got the little dogs.
It looks like a photo that your mother would make you pose for for a Christmas card when you're five years old.
But they're grown men that do it with the dogs.
When I first saw it, you know, because I love Dino.
Uncle Vinny's is another great comedy club in New Jersey.
Seriously, Bananas Uncle Vinny's is another great comedy club in New Jersey. Seriously, Bananas Uncle Vinny's.
Go check them out.
I remember when I first walked in,
I hadn't met Dino yet,
and I saw that picture on the wall,
and I thought that that must have been
the owner's brothers who have special needs.
That's what I thought.
Thought it was a little Frank and Beans.
Yeah, a little Franks and Beans.
And then Dino walked in, and I was like, wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dino makes great penne alla vodka.
Shout out to Dino.
Actually, you know what? First night I got there, they were like alla vodka. Shout out to Dino. Actually, you know what?
First night I got there, they were like, you want anything to eat?
And I said, you know what?
Chris told me to get the penne alla vodka.
They said, you want that with chicken?
I went, came out piping hot.
Yep.
And it was fucking delish.
Yeah.
So you were right.
The penne vodka at Uncle Vinny's, delish.
And it's a cute little town.
It's really cute.
It's not brutes.
It's cute.
It's for sure.
Point pleasant.
Ka-ka-ka-ka-kaw.
Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw-kaw Casino. And we also did work with KP Valley Forge Casino. Yeah. So, yeah, dude, you've been doing comedy how long now?
Six years.
Six years.
And you served the United States Navy.
Yeah, I did six years in the Navy, too. Give me a fucking salute, cuz.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service.
I clean toilets all six years, guys.
I really feel terrible when people thank me for my service.
Somebody's got to do it.
Somebody's got to do it.
It'll have to be you.
Yeah, somebody's got to do it.
Yeah.
Chrissy would have done it with his mouth, because he loves men.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's why we really are joining the show.
You thought we were going to talk about the U.S. as Indianapolis, but it's not.
We just want to know if you ever suck some dicks below deck.
It's on or off the clock.
That's the real thing, man.
Yeah.
You guys ever smuggle beers onto the boat?
All the time.
Really?
All the time.
Interesting.
Now, as a seaman, sometimes you get in international waters and you might get caught by the enemy.
Do they teach you whatever secrets you have on you, you stuff them them up your butt or no that's the best place to hide secrets no
i like i really couldn't be trusted with any of that shit man right i give shit away like on
accident like i'll just mention it you know i really can't i was an engineering department
too so we're below deck okay so it's like literally i was responsible for like making
sure the urinals like flushed down because it's all like vaccine powered on there but if shit
hit the fan and you were ever attacked, you had a fucking
piece on you.
Yes, that's true. You walked around
with a piece. Yeah. It was weird
because we had the general workshops. I was telling you, man,
in the Navy, people don't realize it's like a job.
I walked around with a wrench all day
and everybody just thought I was busy. They never gave me
anything to do. Was there any puss on the boat?
No, it's the Navy, dude. No, but there's girls
in the Navy. They changed it as soon as I got on board dude. No, but there's girls in the Navy. Wait a second,
there's girls in the Navy? Yeah.
Yo. Yeah, a lot's changed.
Yeah, a lot's changed since fucking,
yeah. Since I came out of my coma. Yeah,
after 9-11, they let women into the Navy.
I didn't know that was legal. Yeah,
it's legal, yeah. ISIS, what do you think about that?
Completely against. You're
against that, right? Yeah. They ain't gonna do shit when i get on that boat that's right yeah dude yo it's
scary to have like an 80 pound woman like being behind you on like like the at sea fire party
like you're going into an engine room that's on fire like yeah this 80 pound chick can get me out
of here that's great what's an at sea fire party oh that's like uh there's no fight like it's the
boat's fire department pretty much so it's like if something goes down like we have to respond so
that was like my department that was like what we did what's anything what's the craziest
thing that went down while you were at sea anything fucking wild happened honestly not too much crazy
shit happened on board over there like i had i did like a break in service too so i was on the
uss carney which is a guided missile destroyer yeah and that's good for you because you're an
irish kid and corny's an irish last name that's why they put you on there when they saw you they
saw you coming in like a fucking walking potato especially this kid's going to the carny yeah
yeah so wait so you were that means you're smart if you were in the engineering department yeah
he's a smart look at the size of his head he's got a big brain you do too yeah you both are smart
kids yeah damn so that means you're smart because you're in the engineering department yeah it was
like but it was weird because like have people in the trades or whatever.
There's a guy on a union job site that sounds like a fucking moron when he talks.
He's a genius and he can figure out how to do.
Yeah, but you are a smart kid and I knew you were an engineer because you wore a button-down shirt that looks like graphing paper.
Yeah, you want to fucking do event diagrams on your tits.
Yeah, no, you want to do a fucking line graph.
Because you got a fucking penguin on your shirt.
Yeah. Frank Sempades. Frank Sempades. And you got a fucking penguin on your shirt yeah and you got fucking mickey mouse on yours yeah we're a couple of gay kids
so so so did anybody ever like go overboard or was anybody die on on the boat or anything like
that we had to uh our ship had to respond to another ship having a guy go overboard so they
give you these infrared goggles and and we were just standing out there
looking for something like thermal goggles.
You're looking for a body floating in the water.
Because, let me ask you this.
If you went overboard,
would you get sucked into the propellers and cut in half?
Is that true?
Because that's what I think happens if you fall off a boat.
I mean, not everything in the Navy happens
just like the movie Titanic does.
Yeah, but we don't know.
Have you ever, I've never spoken to a sailor.
I mean, if you fall off the boat, you know, I mean, you'd have to be like directly in
front of it or behind it, right?
For the propellers to get you.
They put a guy on watch in the back too, because like on the destroyers, they got the helicopter
pad back over there.
So that's like the flight deck area.
So there's a guy who's, his whole job is like, he has headphones on and he just sits there
making sure nobody like floats past the boat or whatever. Interesting. So that's his whole job is like he has headphones on and he just sits there making sure nobody floats past the boat or whatever.
Interesting. But if you fell off
that boat, it's high enough.
Could you make it off? Would you
die on impact or no?
Especially on a destroyer because they're
smaller. I think you'd die from a fucking
aircraft carrier for sure. Like you would die
just to fall off that boat. It's a couple stories up.
It's like a floating city, man.
It's like a splat kind of a thing they do.
But it's like, because people who go overboard on some of the other ships, people don't realize this, man.
Like when you go into the water and they come back to save you and it's a successful rescue, you're still in the water for like two hours.
Yeah.
Really?
Even on a successful rescue?
You're sitting there floating.
Like they can see you.
It just takes forever to get the ship to kind of change course.
And then they got to drop like a, they call it a rib boat.
So it's like a little motorboat that's attached to the side of them.
And they come out and get you or whatever.
But it's like probably like a 90-minute process at best.
So for you.
I'm definitely peeing and shitting in the water 90 minutes.
100%.
Yeah.
So for you, like in training, did you have to like simulate that, jump in the water and they would save you?
It kind of upsets me how many people join the Navy and don't know how to swim.
Really?
Like that would be the one that would, you know, you'd think that'd be like a check in the box.
Yeah, you'd think it'd just be the blacks.
I would say there's a lot of Filipino people in the Navy, too.
They can't swim either.
I'm joking.
No, I mean, come on.
It's a fucking joke.
How many blacks have I known?
For some reason, a lot of them don't swim.
I can't swim either.
There.
I can't.
I'm just kidding.
They'd go for lessons.
Like, they'd get, because if you didn't pass the initial test, like, they'd hold you back
until you could pass, like, the bare minimum test on stuff.
Right.
So, there'd be, like, some jacked dudes, like, in-shape dudes who'd probably be, like, just
killer dudes in the Army that couldn't swim.
So, they were, like, getting held back in boot camp for longer.
What made you pick the Navy?
Did you just want to be on the ocean?
What did you want to do?
Did you want to look for mermaids?
Yeah, you got to be near water with the Navy, man.
Yeah.
So, that part's always, you get, like, oh, I live in Florida or Wichita,
Kansas. What are you gonna pick? So you pick Florida.
But is that where you were stationed, in Florida?
Yeah, Jacksonville, Florida, all six years.
If it was Jacksonville, I might have picked
Kansas, to be honest with you. Jacksonville's a
shit city. That's a lose-lose right there.
Geographically, it's the biggest
city in the United States, geographically.
Yeah. Not the most people,
but mileage-wise.
My buddy always says it's just five small towns holding hands to have a football team.
That's what it is.
I think that's what it is. It's all about the Jaguars, right, down there?
Who dat, man, right?
Yeah.
It's about the Jaguars trying to rape Crocodile.
Florida's a weird place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of the last articles I read about Florida was some guy who was giving the crocodiles
some sort of drug that would put them down unconscious, and then he was raping the crocodiles.
Interesting.
I mean, Florida is fucking crazy.
Let me ask you, when you would get nuts for Fleet Week, you got any nice stories there?
Were you just dressed up in the white suit?
We were talking about it at Bananas, man.
Frigging, when you're in uniform in New York City,
you can't buy a drink.
Nobody lets you spend a penny.
I had this weird thing where I showed up
on September 9th and my girlfriend would
salute you and it would emasculate me.
Every time fucking Fleet Week, my girlfriend
rolls down the window, thank you for your service.
And they're like, you're welcome, little girl.
Fucking tzatziki tits right there.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And they just talk about what they would do.
Yeah.
It's brutal.
Yeah.
Thank you for your service.
Yeah.
Thank you for your service.
People want to take pictures with you and shit, man.
It's fucking crazy.
You ever get a toot on the boat?
A prostitute?
Toots.
You'd be surprised, man.
Dude, you know what was weird?
Is that when you go to different parts of the world or whatever, if you go to Europe, the
black and Spanish guys would clean up over there because they'd never seen, it was exotic to
them.
Right.
But then the inverse of that is there's this island called Seychelles out in the Caribbean
or something.
Yeah.
Every chick looks like Rihanna and they're obsessed with blonde hair, blue eyed dudes.
So you cleaned up out there.
I never got to go, man.
That's my one major regret.
Wow.
Really?
But it was like fucking nerds on board the ship were going home with prom queens over
there.
Did anybody on the boat, maybe it wasn't you, but did any, like did sailors hook up with each other?
Did anybody know anything?
Like when you're just out to sea, you're just like, fuck it.
We had gay dudes on the boat and everybody just kind of knew it.
And you just kind of just like, okay, whatever, man.
You think they were pounding each other's asses out?
Oh, without a doubt.
It was like.
100%.
It was so obvious.
Like one of them is, I'm still friends with both the dudes, man.
It was like the one guy is like, he would like be doing cheers on like the mess decks and stuff like that. He teaches gymnastics now. Like we one of them is, I'm still friends with both the dudes, man. But, like, the one guy is, like, he would, like, be doing cheers on, like, the Mesa decks
and stuff like that. He teaches gymnastics
now. Like, we all knew, you know.
So, for him, that was great. I mean, he's just, yeah.
Out at sea with a lot of men. Most men-shaped dude, too, man.
He was, like, ripped up. What's the seasickness
like? You just get used to it? Because
seasickness is a real thing.
It's like, seasickness is one of those
things, like, you don't consider in the military.
You're on a fucking boat.
You get seasick?
I've, yeah.
You're from Greece.
Yeah, but you ever been on, like, a boat that's rocking a lot?
Yeah.
Yeah, you get seasick.
I never got seasick.
I guess the smaller the boat.
Smaller boat, yeah.
Yeah, but I guess the big ones feel like a city just moving, right?
Yeah, it's like, like, I used to be on, they had an elliptical and a treadmill on the front
of the ship, and, like, if you were going over the waves, that's, like, all of a sudden
you're just running downhill on the elliptical.
That's all it felt like so it was like really relaxed
motion but if i go on a small boat like my last unit was a 34 foot patrol boat and we were doing
like guided armed escorts for ships in and out in dubai and uh well we're over there like you have
to qualify in a 50 caliber machine gun from the boat so the boat's rocking while you're trying to
like aim with the waves i just started vomiting out of my kevlar man it was insane that's the
worst feeling in the world yeah it's one of those things
you don't think about, man.
It's like, you know,
it's one of those like aspects
of how the military
makes you tough
that you don't think about.
It's like sickness,
all those things
we always talk about
in wars and stuff,
people get sick, germs.
It's like seasickness is a big,
think about back in the day.
Right.
Like before they had
aircraft carriers and shit
when all the boats
were like that.
Imagine being on
a fucking Viking boat,
one of those,
what are the long boats?
Yeah, fucking nuts.
People, they were probably just throwing up the whole time.
Yeah, and there was fucking infested rats on there and dead bodies. It was brutes, my goats.
Brutes, my goats.
You have to bring the food the entire time for the journey, too.
You have to make sure you had enough food.
Yeah.
So overall, we play this little game called Cutes or Brutes.
Overall, would you say your experience in the Navy, was it Cutes or was it Brutes?
Cutes, bro.
Cutes.
Cutes?
100% Cutes?
Without a doubt.
Yeah.
All right.
That's good.
That's good to hear.
That's good to hear because you know whose experience was definitely Brutes?
The USS Indianapolis.
Wow.
That crew, July 30th, 1945, is what we're going to be talking about today. The USS Indianapolis was sunk by a fucking Jap torpedo in the middle of the ocean in
the middle of the night.
And the U.S. Navy did not get notified of the boat.
They didn't know about it for four fucking days.
Four fucking days, cuzzy wuzzies.
What you're about to hear is one of the wildest stories in American history.
First of all, I think you're telling me this, KP Burke.
We haven't had a ship lost.
The U.S. Navy hasn't lost a ship since when?
Since like the 60s, right?
I want to say it's because, yeah, that's the biggest American naval catastrophe we've ever had was the Indianapolis.
Was the Indianapolis.
And it's the biggest loss of life due to sharks that we've ever had.
That's the biggest shark attack, biggest human shark attack in history of the world is USS
Indianapolis.
So what happened was it got hit, and it must have gotten hit.
You're in fucking Navy.
Where'd it get hit?
Right in the deck of the boat?
Can I just say something right now?
Yeah.
That nobody mentions in all the research I did?
Yeah.
Those sharks?
Yeah.
Were definitely fucking Japanese sharks.
Mm-hmm.
Because they were attacking our boys.
Yes.
Nobody ever mentions that. 100%. Those were fucking fucking Japanese sharks. Mm-hmm. Because they were attacking our boys. Yes. Nobody ever mentions that.
100%.
Those were fucking fascist sharks.
Absolutely.
And they were Japs bad.
Yep.
Yeah.
Exactly.
They were fucked up.
And you know what?
I did hear-
They were American sharks fucking off California.
They're not attacking our boys.
No, they would salute with their fin and that's it.
They keep swimming out.
Those are fucking kamikaze sharks.
That's it.
That's it.
They keep swimming out looking to eat Trudeau's.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, so this is
the greatest, like you said, it's the greatest loss of life
at sea that we've ever had
in U.S. military history. Wow, Chrissy Cackle's
got notes. Yeah. You got into
this one. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always wanted to be
a sailor, cuz. You did, right? Yeah. Was that part of you? That would be big in Ridgewood. That's big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always wanted to be a sailor because- You did, right?
Yeah.
Was that party, that would be big in Ridgewood.
That's big.
Well, what happened was is when 9-11, when the towers went down, everybody in Ridgewood
was going, we wanted to sign up.
We were like, I'm fucking signing up.
Everybody was like, I'm fucking signing up.
Because you were about to try Middle Eastern food, but then 9-11 happened.
You said you'll never do it.
No, I'll never do it again.
Have you ever eaten Middle Eastern food?
I've never eaten Middle Eastern food, and I still won't eat sushi because I fucking
near the enemy.
It's not even a joke.
We're not even joking.
Yeah.
He only eats Italian food and in diners.
Yeah.
That's it.
All I eat is pizza and diners.
That's it.
Once in a while, I have Chinese food, but if he told me it's Chinese food, I start
to slow down.
I can't eat it.
Yeah.
You don't eat any foreign food.
No, no.
Once in a while, I have hummus.
I was eating a lot of... I used to eat feta cheese a lot, but then Janusz told me it's
from goats.
Can't do it either.
Yeah, but you liked it when you didn't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there was 1,195 crew on board this puppy because the reason why, so first of all, this
ship was a fast motherfucker.
It could go 50 miles an hour.
I don't know how many knots that is.
It's a few fucking knots.
Well, they were steam propulsed too. is like so like you actually like you're catching
steam and that's what's powering the ship okay so like when shit got fucked up with that imagine
like getting like ever like take the lid off of a pot like while you're cooking or something like
that you just get the steam burn on your wrist or something it's like that but it kills you
instantly like instantly yeah when shit goes wrong with that wow Wow. So it was traveling in the middle of the night, and it kind of, nobody wanted to, nobody was
really allowed to know where this boat was, because it would have to kind of remain mysterious
because it was carrying parts of the nuclear bomb, little boy, that we eventually dropped
out of the Enola Gay.
Well, didn't they, it was returning from delivering it, I think, right?
They delivered the parts, right? Yeah, they had like, I think it was like 70% of the Enola Gay. Well, didn't they, it was returning from delivering it, I think, right? They delivered the parts,
right, KP?
Yeah, they had like,
I think it was like
70% of the world's
uranium or whatever.
On board.
But they must have dropped,
well, no,
they didn't drop it off yet.
I think they did.
No, because they picked it up
in San Fran.
They were on their way back.
No, so they dropped it off
in San,
they left San Fran.
Yeah.
Then they, oh,
because I think they dropped
it off in Guam.
You know why?
Because here's one part
through my research
of what I realized, and this is just fucking luck of the draw.
Out of the 1,195 men that were on it, because it was always staffed with somewhere between 1,600 and 2,000 men.
At Guam, when they dropped the pieces off, it was a change of duty.
So all those guys, so all these guys on the crew were only on the boat for two or three days when this happened.
They had just gotten back to their, you know, they were like either new recruits that have just gotten on board because of the people who had been already, you know, whatever the tour of duty was in World War II.
I don't know.
What do you think it was?
Like 18 months?
They probably rotated a lot.
They rotated a lot.
The wartime is crazy.
Yeah.
So this was a fresh group of guys.
So it's not like these were even
battle-hardened guys for the most part.
Did you know that they got bombed a month before?
Did you see that? That's insane, man.
You just got done being bombed and then you go out
and have the worst day of your life. Fucking bombed again.
Was it Guam or were they returning
to Guam, ISIS? Can we get
a quick one?
I know they were in the Philippine Sea.
Yeah.
They were out in the Pacific, bad i know they're in the philippine sea yeah so i thought
they were out in the pacific bad well yeah they were in the phil and they were in the middle they
were geographically if you look if you just google uss indianapolis route you could see where they
left from and where they were going and they were geographically right in the fucking middle of the
ocean yeah there was i think all around them it was like 400 or 500 miles to any land in every direction one of the one of the
survivors
recounted it as
He had he saw the the boat the boat went down in 15 minutes or which is not right KP is that not 12 minutes?
12 minutes super fat they got um I was gonna send you the video man
There's a thing they do called sink exercises. We're like when a boats old we blow it up
I don't know like so it's a way to test our missiles and then it turns into like uh some barrier reef thing or whatever right but when
you watch these things go down they fill like as soon as they start to fill it takes like it's i
forget what the miles per hour is while they're going down but it's like a whirlwind of a thing
because when you have the the air flooded compartments shit just gets sunk fast like
right you'd think it would be like stoic like a wood ship going down but this shit's just like
you know it's almost like a pop sound and it's over.
Yeah.
12 minutes went down.
So, but the thing is, it's interesting because, so 300 out of those 1,195 died, you know,
instantly on the boat where it was headed.
They blew up, you know, like you're saying, the steam, fucking gas, the whole shit was
on fire.
900.
It got hit, but it was six torpedoes that the Jap guy, the Jap sub hit.
Two of them hit One hit the front
And then one hit
Right in that middle
Yeah
Where all that
Fucking fuel and shit was
Yeah and they actually
Interviewed
The Japanese
Guy who was in charge
That was his name
And he said That when they launched that torpedo.
Do it with a Japanese voice.
Come on.
When we launched the torpedo, we said that this is going to be a great loss of American life.
And to be honest, we don't feel good about it.
That's what he said.
You started real good Japanese and ended
Eastern European. Okay, let me try it again.
Mashiro Hajimoto.
Oh, that's real Jap. Yeah. Yes.
So when we shot the torpedo,
we
said that it was
directed, and we
watched the ship split in two.
And we said, oh, a lot of Americans are going to die now.
And they said, apparently from what this guy said, it was so, because they kind of watched it.
They were underwater.
Nobody knew where they were.
So they could see with their scope.
And they were watching.
And they said there were actually some of the japanese soldiers on the submarine one of them asked hashimura should we rescue them because even though it was wartime
they saw how brutal it was going to be and they knew these japanese because they were in that
submarine they knew that this it was infested with sharks so he said it wasn't because he actually
had to testify we'll get to the you know the you know parts of that a little bit later in the in the in the show but he later testifies um because
once the war is over they want to know what's going on because like what we'll tell you the
captain of the ship gets into a little bit of trouble from some bullshit because they needed
to pin this disaster on somebody um and he said that uh it wasn't like a hurrah, when they were going back to their base, they were like, we just killed thousands of men with one shot.
Leaving them to die, too.
Leaving them to die.
So he said it was a little somber, which is interesting because you don't hear that with the enemy.
And then it's like, I kind of listened to him say that.
I'm like, wow.
But then I'm like, this motherfucker doesn't know that you shouldn't be somber because we just delivered the parts
that are going to fucking light your country on fire
and still to this day, there's Japanese
people born with, you know, eight
fingers because, you know, we
fucking, you know,
dropped a lot of radiation on them. Yeah.
But this is war. You know, it's battle,
you know, it's wartime. Yeah. People don't tickle
each other during war, no. They do
bomb each other bad.
So what happened is-
And Japanese sharks do attack American boys.
Unfortunately, Japs, yeah, they do attack.
They do.
Do you think a few of those weren't even sharks?
It was just Japanese with flippers on biting dudes?
It could have been that, but my question is, do Japanese sharks use chopsticks?
That's my question.
What do they do?
Yeah, we're a sensitive podcast.
Yeah.
This podcast right now sounds like it's being made in 1994.
Yeah.
Yeah, because somebody's listening going, these guys are very offensive.
Very offensive.
You're not supposed to do voices.
We're kidding.
What was MacArthur's quote?
Tiger Sharks.
What?
Did you ever hear that?
I think it was MacArthur's quote when they talk about how politically.
Chopsticks? No. It was so close. It's actuallyArthur's quote. Tiger Sharks. What? Did you ever hear that? I think it was MacArthur's quote when they talk about how politically- Japs use chopsticks?
No.
It was so close.
It's actually worse than that.
MacArthur was the general in the Pacific or whatever.
They asked him, okay, what are you going to get done?
What's your plan of action? He goes, kill Japs, kill Japs, then kill some more Japs.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
We're going to watch a video of one of the survivors later in the show.
That was one of my favorite parts of his interview is he just calls them Japs like four times.
Yeah.
But he's like the nicest, most humble man.
He's crying, but he just continuously calls them Japs.
Well, my grandfather.
It's just short for Japanese.
My grandfather fought in World War II as Coast Guard.
And he actually was on a boat that was hit.
So he got sent.
I think something happened to his leg. So he got, you know, I think he like, something happened to his leg.
So he got sent back.
And, you know, he died in 2000.
Something happened to his leg.
Diabetes or no?
Huh?
Diabetes?
He had a stroke.
But he was like 78 years old.
So he went the distance.
And he still, like up until the time he died, would not eat Japanese food.
He just would not eat sushi.
That's where he got it from.
And he said, and he would always say, you know, he would always talk about, you know, would not eat Japanese food. He just would not eat sushi. That's where he got it from.
And he said, and he would always say, you know, he would always talk about, you know, you don't hate people.
He said, but what I, you know, what I, because he fought his theater of war was the Pacific.
He was like, it's just, they'll always be the enemy to me because of the fucking shit that I saw.
You know, my mother had the same thing as my mother was a human rights lawyer.
And like I probably said before, she, you know, headed up UNITAR, the United Nations International Rights of Children,
but because she was there during World War II,
she always just had something against Germans,
and of course all Greeks,
a little bit Turks too.
Yeah, and unfortunately you found out you're about 20% Turk.
25%.
I'm glad my mother lost her memory
before that really sunk in.
Does it make you want to just like,
like if I told you-
I love it because it means I'm diverse.
Yeah, but if I told you, if I told you. I love it because it means I'm diverse. Yeah.
But if I told you you're 25% Turk, but if you gave up one of your legs, which would be 25% of your body, you could get the Turk out, would you do it?
Yeah.
Yeah, you'd do it, right?
Yeah, I'd have to do it.
Yeah.
I would rather walk around with one leg be 100% Greek than be 75% Greek, 25% Turk with two legs.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a tough question.
Absolutely.
Yo, KP, you're a fucking Irish kid.
How many, how much, for real, you look like you were in the movie Brothers McMullen.
Yeah, I can't fight it.
Like, you're a guy, like, I feel like if you exploded, you'd explode into cabbage.
Yeah.
I feel like if we went to war with you,
I think we could beat you at the beach.
We'd just take you to the beach and we win.
You're done. You can't deal with fucking no umbrella?
Yeah. Well, see, that's the thing.
It's sunburned bad.
Well, here, yeah, because the Indianapolis,
so what happens is you have 300 men dying
and now you have 900 guys in the water,
900 ducks in the pond. That's what they would say.
800. No, 900. I think it was 800. 900.
What is it, Zach? 800 or 900?
Let's say 850.
110 degrees,
wasn't it? Yeah, fucking that day was
110. 110 degrees
in the day, but at night
it would go down, the water would
go down to something like
hypothermic conditions.
I don't know how cold it would get,
but it was enough to induce hypothermia.
So you have 900 guys.
900.
Yeah, you're right.
You're a smart kid.
So I told you I feel good today.
Guys, it's raining out today in New York City,
and I'm the kind of kid,
I fucking love the rain, I love the clouds.
And let me tell you, I travel so much,
but I love New York City.
When I woke up today, and I got out of bed and
both of my feet were planted in Brooklyn
and it was raining outside, I said, today's
going to be a fucking good day and I'm going to make no
mistakes. And so far, it's been tried and
true. Yeah. Yeah. You know what happened?
It was so hot during the day, probably during those
four days that those guys were floating in the water,
our boys, that during the day when the heat was
out, you know who probably dropped?
Irish kids.
Yeah.
Northern European.
He would have had a tough time.
He would have had a tough time.
If you were floating in the water.
Imagine being sunburned.
Like, you're sunburned.
Your entire face is sunburned,
and then the rest of you is just like a giant,
like you get the wrinkles in your skin.
Well, yeah.
Well, that actually,
so the waves that guys were going down,
because out of the 900,
only 316 are going to make it in four days.
So you're going to lose, only 316 are going to make it in four days so you're going to lose only 316 are going to survive this thing but 900 were alive when it went down uh in the middle
of the night on july 30th but they're not going to get rescued to the second of august and in that
time close to 600 men are going to die from these main things from exposure like you said exposure
to the sun dehydration because the thing is the interesting thing about that's why that's why when situations like this and when you think when you have to
think about the elements that's why you have to believe we're in some kind of simulators game
because how how can the one thing that sustains life water and the one thing that surrounds our
planet water be the type of water that if we drink, causes us to die.
It's a fucking game.
It's a fucking game, because guess what?
If the rules were fair,
and if it wasn't a game,
and this was just what it's supposed to be
in everything else's games,
then the water that we live in,
the water that we live around, I meant to say,
and that we float in and swim in,
and the oceans, we'd be able to drink it.
But you can't drink salt water.
It kills our bodies.
It also makes you hallucinate.
Yeah, it makes you hallucinate.
And it speeds up the death process.
So what started to happen was, you know, guys are dehydrated, you're not drinking for two
or three days, and they would start drinking the salt water, especially the young, inexperienced
kids, and they would speed up their death process instantly because it just makes you
that much more dehydrated.
And then you would get and that would cause the saturation poisoning.
So you would get like, you know, your body just starts to get poisoned out.
And then the biggest thing, of course, was the shark attacks.
The shark attacks were fucking brutes magutes.
You did have people starting to die relatively quickly because some people
first of all when the when the when the boat got um blown up everybody like you were saying was
covered in oil they all got covered in that fucking oil that was in their eyes was burning
their bodies all that steam so people 900 were in the water but there was a good portion in that
were going to die anyway because they got blown into the water with no limbs
and they're dripping blood. So the
sharks start to smell that. Do you know
how far sharks can smell blood? You're a
fucking nature cuck. Do you have any
idea? Probably very far.
Can we find that out, Zachy? That's a good
one. I'd like to know that fact. Yeah, because
wait, and I want to just, because there was one
thing. You got to set the scene here. I mean, it's
unbelievable. I mean, you're talking about it starts out, the ship goes down for 12 minutes, and then
you just got 900 kids just in the water, just completely alone.
One of the survivors was quoted as saying he remembered seeing the front of the ship
going down.
He knew the whole thing was going down and they were gonna you know people were
yelling abandon ship which i guess that's the that's in the navy that's what you say abandon
ship get the fuck off this thing you're fucked once you're abandoned ship you're fucked you're
fucked and if you're in the middle of pacific ocean in the middle of world war ii he said he
looked out into eternity so it's like all you see is ocean around you you're like that's it imagine
getting off the thing that has a floor
to just be in the thing that's
endless fucking
infinity. I mean, that's scary.
And they had these life jackets
that were not built
or equipped to last that long.
So those things, people were
you had to swim for days.
It became like a
huge test of will.
I've never been in the middle of the ocean at night.
But when you're in the middle of the ocean at night, you can't see anything, right?
Is it like pitch black?
Does the moonlight light up the water?
You can see some pretty cool stars and shit out there, man.
Right.
When you go out, the guys that all go on the smoke deck or whatever, it's like pitch black out there.
That's what I'm saying.
So these guys who were floating in the water, when it would come nightfall, it's zero visibility.
Yeah, it's terrifying, dude.
Right.
You know what the funny thing is about Chrissy D, about Chrissy Cackles right here?
Yeah.
If he was out there in the middle, now you'd die obviously-
In the sun.
In the sun.
At 1 p.m.
You're fried, right?
You're fried out.
ISIS is still going because he's used to the heat.
Right.
He may die at the night when it gets cold.
Right.
All the Arab kids and all the darker kids,
they die at night. Well, ISIS would die because
there was no way he could get on his knees and pray. He'd fucking
drown. So that's the problem because he can't
pray to the West. That's it. In the life vest,
your dead body's just going to float next to you too.
You don't have that
nice Rose and Jack moment at Titanic.
It's just fucking sitting there brining like a pork chop.
By the way, if a Rose and Jack,
if we find a raft, it's 15 minutes on, 15 minutes off.
That's how I'm doing.
Me and Brittany there, I'm going, you're on for 15, I'm going, and then we just see what happens.
But listen, this is how Chrissy's going, right?
This is how fucking Chrissy's going.
Because Chrissy's a tough fucking kid.
You can look.
Look at that head.
There's a lot of Neanderthal DNA in that fucking huge noggin.
Yeah, and in a situation like that, I don't want to be in it, but I think with my head,
and I also got, I have a pseudo-tit, I got a fat left tit, which kind of acts like a
natural floaty device.
So I kind of got, I kind of was born with a swimmer.
I got a little bit of a swimming in my tit.
But here's how the universe is balanced, and this is how the simulators are hilarious.
This is how Chrissy would die.
People would be dying around his constitution, his strong constitution would keep him alive yeah but you know what would take
him down nighttime hit he's scared of the dark he starts screaming about ghosts and he'd go into
shock because he would think there would be ghosts there'd be sharks eating people next to him and
it wouldn't bother him one bit but he'd be like there may be ghosts out here yeah then he'd die
from the shock of being scared of ghosts.
Ghosts.
That's why you need to be walked to Poughkeepsie and fucking put down.
Yeah.
Because you're more scared of ghosts than you are reality.
Absolutely.
You're a weird, strange gay kid.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't go out at night and do anything at night.
Not because I'm scared of anybody beating me up because I'm 240.
It's because of ghosts.
Yeah.
I don't want to get eaten alive by a spirit.
We do a lot of jokes on here, but I'm going to tell you the true story.
This has actually just happened
when we were driving here.
I was like, I love Bay Ridge.
I was telling him why I love Bay Ridge.
I was like, I love just the quiet of it
that I was able to walk my dog last night
down to the park at around midnight.
And this is exactly word for word what he said.
We're not on air,
so he's not trying to make anyone laugh.
And this is, I'm not exaggerating.
He goes, wow, you went down to the park at 12?
So I assume, you know, he's thinking like, wow, it's dangerous.
There could be some bad kids down there.
I'm like, you know, I'm not a small kid and I got a dog with me, so I'm not scared.
He goes, no, I'm not talking about that.
He's like, you weren't scared of the ghosts, maybe the spirits that are down there?
And I looked at him.
He wasn't smiling.
He was dead serious.
Yeah.
I wanted to get out of the car and be like, I don't think I want to be friends with you anymore because you're a fucking strange kid.
I'm a strange fucking kid. I'm not lying
This is exactly what happened on the way here
Well cuz if you think this is an act if you're listening thing it's not a fucking act
Yeah, it needs to be put down. Yeah, you're not good for society cuz why I thought I thought I kept
I thought I kept order. Yeah, you make it a better place. You're good. I'm a good kid
Cuz like you said reality is just a suggestion for you. It's a suggestion suggestion. He doesn't yeah
Yeah, the other
day he goes we're two italian kids he called me italian and then i was like you know what maybe
i'm an italian kid who cares and then the other day i was like we're a couple of black kids walking
down the block that's what it is and you know and it's just nothing different i'm just sometimes i
want to say yeah you know what i'm a fucking chinese woman today it is what it is it's funner
that way yeah i don't got to be a fucking white kid from Brooklyn. Okay. So.
Sharks, by the way, it's four to five hundred yards.
They can detect.
Wow.
Wow.
So, yeah.
So at one point, at one point, one of the sailors said that he counted over 160 sharks
encircling the men.
So there was no way to get out.
He said it was like being surrounded by another enemy.
He said so there was no way to swim away from said it was like being surrounded by another enemy he said so there was no
way to swim away from them because anywhere
you went it was a continuous circle and
one by one you would see Finn
start coming towards the group and what they were
trying to tell them was to start to just kick
just kick wildly and if you hit one in the nose
it'll swim away and if you hit a
shark direct in the nose it usually
swims miles away
like it just doesn't want to go near that.
So some guys were lucky in the sense that they would kick it square in the nose, and they would get one out.
But because they would sense it, and there were so many sharks in the water, once one shark would come back and eat a human body,
all the other sharks would kind of smell what was going on, and sharks were coming by the dozens every few minutes.
There were more and more sharks coming.
Here's a brutal fact about that, too, is that the sharks don't even eat the humans.
Right.
Our meat is repulsive to them.
They just get curious.
They smell the blood, and they bite it, and then they break.
So you're just getting bit up.
They don't really eat us, do they?
Really?
They just rip a limb off, and that's done.
Oh, and the thing that I was trying to—
Can you look that up just to make sure, Isis?
The word that I was trying to find before about hypothermia, shark attacks, exposure,
it was desquamination.
Desquamination is what, when you're in the water, like when you're in a pool and your
skin prunes up, that's a little bit of desquamination, but it's not really.
It's just like a beginning process of it.
It's fine.
It's never going to hurt you. But when you're in salt
water, not only is your water pruning up,
the salt is wearing away the top layer
of your skin. So what started to happen
when four days in the water like that,
they started to suffer, or actually three days
because they still had a day to get rescued,
they started to get the desquamination
process where you would touch someone
and their skin would fall off.
So these are all the elements.
So the fact that 316
even survived is fucking
wild. Yeah. Would you want to die
right away? Because I was thinking about this when I
was looking over the thing. I'd want to die immediately
in the blast.
It would be so...
That pitch, blackness at night
and you hearing the blood
curdling screams, the guys being attacked by sharks.
Yeah, I think I'm going to go into
shock. I don't know if I'm going to make... How did they
survive the night? Because the water gets so cold.
Well, hypothermia.
What happened was,
the kind of what they would do, some of them had
life vests, some of them didn't. But the life vests,
do you remember what kind of life vest
it was?
You said Kevlar before, but that's bulletproof vest, right?
Oh, yeah.
That was when I was on a land-based unit.
Right.
Yeah.
But no, the other thing, too, because you were saying the crew was like 1,200.
What was it?
1,200?
Yeah, 1,195.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that boat was supposed to have like 900 people on it, but for wartime, they ramp up
the people.
So you got everything you have on board the ship, you probably are running low on stuff
to begin with.
Right.
So if you had something that was probably like garbage, half the guys probably didn't have life vests they
didn't have life vests and they would try to what they would try to do after um you know if you have
a life vest which i didn't know this only through doing my research when you have a life vest it
doesn't last forever it starts to then the water starts it starts to get filled up with water and
life vests are only good for about two days. What happened was you could come out with a life vest
and think you're good, but then your life vest
starts to deteriorate
and you have to then sit in it.
Once you sit in it, then you have to swim.
You still have to kick your legs.
The guy was like, what would happen
was there would be guys on duty who had
life vests who your whole goal
was to just keep, you would put your arms
under somebody else's arms and just keep them afloat for as long as possible but some guys would just fucking their
muscles would give out there was a a good amount of guys that would swim towards the sharks um that
was one thing they would do because of the dehydration they started to hallucinate so guys
number one guys thought started to go swim underwater because they thought they want to
get a drink below deck so they thought they were going below deck and they would never resurface,
either eaten alive by sharks
or they were just drowning themselves.
Then guys started swimming towards islands
that weren't there
and they would swim away and never to be seen again.
That would have been me.
Yeah.
The one of the guys hallucinating.
Yeah, and then guys started swimming towards the sharks,
especially the younger guys,
because they just couldn't deal with the fear
because the shark feedings and frenzies
would only happen at night.
So imagine it's pitch black and out of nowhere at any second a shark is going to dart up 30 miles an hour and rip your fucking leg off and rip you down they were saying that one survivor
was saying he knows men were being dragged to the bottom of the ocean he said that that's what was
happening he was seeing men being dragged down and never resurfacing yeah and then you get just
all these like you said these body parts and dead guys just floating around in these fucking things.
Well, and he said after the third day or even the beginnings of the fourth day that they wouldn't even, if you were dead, they wouldn't check you.
They didn't want to take anything off you.
Maybe they tried to take your body, your life jacket, because they didn't want to turn your body over and see that you were just a torso.
It was too traumatic for everyone because it happened so much.
They would think that I can help you and they'd put your arms under, you know, but you were
just half a torso.
Because you're bobbing from shoulders up.
I mean, that's what it is.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, it's just a horrific scene.
And just to think, do you think about how slow time went in like math class when you
were a kid?
Imagine how slow time's going to go when you're were a kid imagine how slow time's gonna go when
you're sitting in the middle of an ocean yeah being like please rescue us every minute must
have felt like a fucking hour because you're struggling to survive every second and you're
not having a good time so they would and they would fucking they would um there was a group of
90 i know that would like all huddle together so there's different groups huddling together
and what would happen was is one of the survivors this is a
fucking part that I was like wow you really unpopular kid wasn't allowed in
the 90 yeah yeah absolutely yeah fucking Steve's where you go sit over there go
sit with go fucking go go go swim around with the other nerds yeah go bob around
in this violent fucking scene with the other nerds you're not welcome here do
you think there was racism for Japanese-Americans who fought for the U.S.?
Like, you know, like, there was a
Japanese-American on board
of that? You think some... I don't think there really were.
You're fucking... No, there were.
There is now. We'll fuck around with, like, when you got,
like, a Muslim dude in the Navy or whatever,
I'll be like, dude, can you ask your uncle when shit's
going down? So I just want to take my leave in time
for Christmas. I guarantee you those,
I guarantee you most of the soldiers who do jokes like that are either from the Northeast or Texas.
Yeah.
Guaranteed.
And you know what?
Yeah.
Nothing will ever stop those jokes.
No.
That's what guys do.
Guys joke.
Yeah, they're funny.
Yeah.
Guys joke.
That's what it is.
I mean, it builds camaraderie.
It does.
You know, it really does.
It does.
Isis, do the sharks eat or do they just bite?
They just, I mean, there's definitely like freak scenarios where a shark has eaten a person.
But in general, it's just curiosity that leads to accidental attacks.
Yeah.
So that's the thing is like sharks, they don't even like our meat.
They don't like the way we taste.
But the blood attracts them and they'll bite out of curiosity.
Yeah, because when we were researching this, I was thinking middle of the ocean.
I was like, why wouldn't
the sharks just eat every single person with the amount of sharks there are?
And then it's like, yeah, that's the reason.
It's like, because they don't-
They don't want to eat.
They're not looking to eat you, but you get bit up.
Yeah.
But they don't really know you're human until they take a bite.
Until they take a bite.
That's the thing.
That's what makes it brutes, because would you-
See, here's the thing.
That's what makes it real brutes.
Right.
Is because if you're trapped in the water and you get bit by a shark, first of all,
they don't bite you a little.
They bite you a lot.
And then you're fucking bit and in pain.
I would almost kind of rather the shark finish me off and eat me than now I'm fucking have
a shark bite on top.
Imagine like you're floating in the ocean.
You haven't drunk any fluids for three days.
You're dehydrated.
You're hallucinating.
You haven't eaten for four days.
Your best friend is a fucking floating torso over here right you're living in a nightmare and then
on top of that a fucking shark bites you that's what it is sitting there going there is no god
there is no god but you'll see as a survivor some of the survivors start to say they start to believe
in god because fucking wild shit starts to happen so one thing before i get to that one thing too
that i just i just really put me there when this survivor said you know there's there's little you know waves
that happen in the middle of the ocean eight nine foot swells and he said what would happen is
is you would see bodies floating right and he said all of a sudden you would see a swell coming
and the bodies would go on you know go with the swell they're motionless and then the swell would
come crashing down and the bodies would be hurled. The dead bodies would be hurled into the living people.
And because of the desquamination, their skin would melt off onto their face.
And they would.
So these guys were covered in the dead friend's skin.
So it was one of those things where it's like the horror of it was nuts.
So there was one.
So then what happened?
So they're in there.
They're in there for four days
and then nobody understands you know what's going on finally after the fourth day they realized the
ship's missing okay they realized oh shit we fucked up actually somebody wherever we're supposed to
land i forgot we're supposed to go made a miscalculation and said that it had gotten there
when it had it so that guy got in big trouble, of course, eventually,
because that's a big fuck-up.
We're bad at our jobs in the military.
No one wants to.
We always try to be respectful.
We fail more than we succeed.
Right.
Nobody wants to admit it.
I think it was unfairly pinned on that guy, though, right?
Well, yeah, we'll get to him, because there's a whole story about that.
But before that.
I mean, the guy was a good shot.
What do you want?
Yeah, that fucking guy.
He shot six torpedoes he hit.
The Japanese torpedo, the Japanese submarine, I forgot what it was called,
the Japanese submarine that
was the most superior
submarine in all of World War II that hit
the USS Indianapolis. So it's not
like... It's kind of like dealing with
those German tanks.
That Tiger tank thing was more superior than the U.S. tanks.
It was like an underwater Red Baron.
Exactly.
This was the fucking big things.
So what happened is, four days into this, pilot Wilbur Chuck Gwynn, fucking Chucky,
Chuck Gwynn.
Our old school, like our old World War II, World War II guys had good names. Wilbur Chuck Gwynn. Fucking Chucky. Chuck Gwynn. Our old school, like our old World War II, World War II guys had good names.
Wilbur?
That's a 1940s name.
Wilbur Chuck Gwynn.
That's a good fucking name.
Good name.
Yeah, because today it'd be fucking, you know, it'd be Taylor, Skyler, and Matthew Thin.
Yeah.
Finds him.
I've never met a Wilbur.
I've never met a Chuck.
I've never met, yeah.
Wilbur Chuck Gwynn was driving, was flying his plane.
It was called the PV-1 Ventura.
I call it the PV-1 Ace Ventura.
He was doing just a regular detail on, you know, just flying over the ocean.
Just, I don't know, was, you know, looking for dolphin puss, whatever he was doing.
And they were looking for submarines.
They were doing like a reconnaissance route looking for submarines.
It was a military plane, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, it was a military plane.
Okay, it would be that far out.
Yeah, and he...
The only fucking reason they saw him.
Yeah.
They were looking down at the water looking for enemies.
And he saw, because of the oil, so the one thing that was killing them and the one thing
that was hot and they had to go around, you know, didn't want to go near and could kill
them instantly, was kind of a thing that saved them because the sun was shining off the oil, which was then
causing reflections off the men's heads and life jackets.
And so it was noticeable from the plane.
So then the plane started to do circles and realized, oh, shit, we got bodies in the water
right here.
So but at that time, they didn't know because you're too high up.
You don't know if that's a U.S. or Japanese.
You have no idea.
But like you were saying before, how it takes a long time.
It takes an hour and a half just to get, you know.
Yeah, that's if you fall off the boat.
Right.
So this plane that they were in, this Ace Ventura plane, they couldn't land in the water.
They had no way to land in the water.
So they had to go all the way back to base, get a plane that could land in the water they had no way to land in the water so they had to go all the way back to base get a plane that could land in the water even though they they
weren't supposed there's whatever i forgot what the fucking plane that lands in the water was
but they weren't supposed to land in the water no but the guy couldn't take it and he did it he
did it anyway he hung up on his fucking general yeah he hung up on him and he said i'm gonna
fucking land this plane in the water whatever so 57 men jumped on this guy's plane when he finally landed in the water because they were jumping on.
It didn't take off again.
It couldn't take off because it blew its engine out when it landed in the water.
But he had men sitting in the hull of his of his sitting in the cabin or whatever of his plane.
And then he had men sitting on the wings and on the roof just to get them out of the water.
cabin or whatever of his plane, and then he had men sitting on the wings and on the roof just to get them out of the water.
And when he landed, when the plane landed, he claims, and no reason not to believe him,
that he saw men being mauled by sharks as he landed the plane.
And when the plane landed, the sharks scattered because that's a big thing to happen in the
water.
You know, it's a big impact.
So they didn't know, you know, the sharks didn't know what it was, so they scattered
away.
And then sharks still, when the plane was just floating in the water for another two hours,
waiting for a destroyer finally came, a big boat came.
USS Cecil Doyle.
That was a destroyer that came.
That's the one that came, but the men were just, the plane basically became a life raft.
It just basically became another life raft.
So they started to hang on there, and then then even with that sharks were bumping the plane
sharks scattered and then came back so from what the survivors say the sharks were like he
described them as as like uh mosquitoes on a summer day like you're just you're just gonna
get hit and you can't stop it that That's what it was but just sharks.
That's fucking scary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was
it was Lieutenant
Adrian Marks.
Marks is the one
who was dispatched
and he came
and yeah
he just dropped the plane in
ripped an engine apart.
He didn't give a fuck.
And he let guys
crawl on the wings
crawl on the plane
and we're gonna listen
to the survivors speak about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you imagine what they look like?
Ripping on me for being Irish and everything, but if you're out in the sun like that,
like I got a Puerto Rican head and the rest of me is just ghost white.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, they must talk about pruned.
I mean, think about it.
You ever take a bath and you get pruned after like 30 minutes?
Imagine being in the fucking ocean for four days.
So actually, you know, a lot of people don't know about the USS Indianapolis now.
It's kind of just been like lost in time.
That's why we're talking about it.
But in the late, in the 40s, because this is nearing the end of the war.
July of 45 is nearing the end.
Oh, we're right below, right before the end.
Right before the end.
We're about to drop the fucking fat boy and little kid.
That's what happened.
Yeah.
Yeah, fucking Enola Gay. We had some gay names. Enola Gay, little kid. That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah, fucking Enola Gay.
We had some gay names.
Enola Gay, little boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Little boy.
Wilbur.
I love it if they named the new bomb is called, like, the cutie with smoothie.
That would be great.
That would be fucking awesome.
I would love to fucking ram a cutie with smoothie right in ISIS's ass hole.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The new bomb, the fucking Anderson Cooper.
The new bomb, the fucking Anderson Cooper.
Yeah.
So what happened is it became huge news in the U.S., huge news that all these men died and the way they died and the shark attacks.
So they got, you know, you know how the U.S. is.
We got to fucking pin this shit on somebody.
Whose fault was it?
So the U.S. decides to blame it on the actual, is it admiral of the ship?
What would the, the admiral's the head of the Navy, right?
Like the top, top guy?
Yeah, you can be, because we had a commander.
No, it was, I'm trying to remember.
He was a full captain, actually.
Okay.
But it's weird, because the small, like the admiral can be on any ship, really.
But if you're a flag admiral or whatever, a fleet admiral, it's like you have multiple
ships under your command kind of a thing.
So the guy who was just in charge of the USS Indianapolis would be a captain then, right?
For that one, yeah, I think he was a captain, right?
Yes, Captain Charles B. McAvoy III.
He was captain of the USS Indianapolis.
So first of all, people...
And he lived.
And he lived.
So that was the first knock against him.
That's why they felt, because you're supposed to go down with your ship, right?
That's what they say.
But he jumped, and it's like, that's stupid.
Do you think that's stupid, KP?
Or is that like Hollywood shit?
I mean, that is like an old school maritime thing.
You're supposed to go down with the ship because it's your responsibility.
But the COs, they get fired.
People don't understand that.
You fuck up when you're the commanding officer of a ship and something goes wrong.
You just get replaced immediately.
There was a boat that crashed in Hawaii called the Port Royal or something like that.
It crashed into a jetty because they fucked up
on the maps. The joke was they called it the Port Royal
on the rocks. So it was down in Hawaii.
So this dude literally just crashed like a billion
dollar boat and they said like within
15 minutes he was fired. He literally
knew that they crashed and started packing his bags.
Yeah, it was over. Walking out of an office
with his trophy in a box. There's no room
for error. It's like being a surgeon.
Like, you fuck up once, people die.
Yeah, you're done, man.
So Captain McAvoy winds up, because the U.S. has to pin it on somebody,
the people want heads, especially the families of the people who lost their sons
or whatever, people in their family.
Charles McAvoy gets court-martialed because they said that he
failed to zigzag, that he was supposed to be zigzagging.
And the Japanese commander said that it wouldn't have mattered.
He later testified.
So this is how crazy it got.
Captain McAvoy gets court-martialed, gets, you know, relieved from his duty and is like
an enemy in the U.S.
Like people are like, fuck, he gets letters.
He would get letters from some of the guys who died's families like,
oh, Merry Christmas because you and my son's dead, right?
To the point where they actually brought in the U.S.
once they started doing more investigations,
brought in the commander of the Japanese submarine.
He said, there's nothing McAvoy could have done even if he would
have zigzagged he said we had him in our crosshairs and our submarine is so much faster and so much
more superior that we would have we it would have not have mattered we were going we we had uh uh
locked in on him and mcavoy said all his orders were he didn't have any orders that he didn't
even know japanese submarines were in the water. He had no idea.
Nobody told him anything, which turned out to be true.
Because the truth is, actually, Lieutenant Stuart Gibson, whose whole job was to track the USS Indianapolis, is the one who really should have went down because he's the one
who accidentally said that it got there when it didn't get there.
So he's the one who was supposed to be one.
Simpson!
Yeah, no, Gibson.
Stuart Gibson.
I said Simpson.
Stuart's always a fuck...
Anytime a guy's named Stuart...
When's the last time you met a Stuart?
I never met a Stuart.
I never met a Stuart who was a good guy.
They're always a fucking piece of shit.
You've actually met a real Stuart?
Yeah, fucking...
I met some guy, Stu.
My mom used to date a boyfriend named Stu.
He's a fucking loser.
So Stuart was...
My dad's a better guy.
Stuart...
Stuart said that they arrived before they arrived, so that's why they lost the boat.
Stewart said they arrived, and then when you get where he was, apparently the USS Indianapolis,
because they didn't have time to send out the distress call, but somehow information got to wherever it was supposed to go.
I think that base was in Guam where they were supposed to be watching these ships come in.
wherever it was supposed to go.
I think that base was in Guam,
where they were supposed to be watching these ships come in.
One of the commanders,
one of the commanders who was supposed to be relaying information back to, you know, naval headquarters was drunk.
The other one was Irish kid.
What was his name?
I didn't get his name.
Carney.
His name was KP Burke.
Sean Donnelly.
Yeah.
Sean E.D.
Sean E.D.
So one commander was drunk, right?
When he heard about the USS Indianapolis.
So he just didn't say anything.
The other commander had told his men, do not disturb.
Because he had toots in his room.
That's true.
He had prostitutes.
He had toots in his room.
On the destroyer?
Yeah, he had toots in his room.
There was toots on the destroyer?
No, no, at base.
Oh, back base.
Back base.
So he had toots in his room.
So he said, do not disturb.
And the third guy was quoted as, this is just another jap trap.
So the third guy said that there's no way the Indianapolis went down.
It's just a jap trap.
So all those guys didn't get court-martialed, didn't get in trouble.
But Charles McAvoy, who could not have done a different, if he would have done anything differently, the results would have been the same, is the one who got court-martialed.
And then dealing with all the fucking pressure and becoming an enemy.
All this guy wanted to do was serve the Navy.
Wound up shooting himself in his front lawn in 1968.
And he was found with a revolver and a toy sailor in his hand.
Yeah, you're not going to be able to walk that one off.
Yeah.
I mean, what else?
You got to blow it.
You got to kill yourself.
So the guy in the port, though, who fucked up and said that they arrived when they didn't,
he never had to go through four days in the water watching people get eaten by sharks.
Nothing.
McAvoy did.
Yeah, you live through that.
You live through all that.
And then everybody calls you a dickhead.
And all the guys on the boats and McAvoy did nothing wrong.
And McAvoy, being the captain of the boat, did not take any preferential treatment in the water.
captain of the boat did not take any preferential treatment in the water he waited in you know because all because because the only way guys survived is they found a couple of crates of
potatoes that were rotten so they had to peel it off and just eat that but they had water and then
twice they got lucky because you know once you're out there for hours and hours hours in the middle
of the sun with the salt even if you're trying not to drink the salt water it's still splashing
up and hitting you in the lip hitting your skin so you're dehydrating twice in those four days there was uh 25 minutes of rain so they opened their mouths
and drank the water and they filled up um little containers that they had found and they had that's
where they had water and they said mcavoy waited in line or waited his turn like everybody else he
took no preferential treatment so they all thought his boy you know his his fellow uh soldiers his
team thought that it was bullshit but they just knew that the government had to pin it on somebody.
And it wasn't until 96 when the sixth grade kid, Hunter Scott, now we're starting to get to fucking millennial names, sixth grader Hunter Scott did a book report.
All he did was did a book report, but he did his research and it actually led to the congressional hearing which happened in july 2001 that finally found captain mcavoy not guilty of
anything and post uh is it hominously or humanously when you after you die posthumously posthumously
reinstated and given like all these awards and it was my man bill clinton you know everyone just
thinks he's getting his dick sucked he wasn't he. He was fucking made sure that my man James Mack, Captain McAvoy, had, you know, the honor he deserved.
But his sentence was actually lifted in 46.
Yeah.
His sentence was lifted by James Forrestal, who was the Navy secretary in 46.
That was a ship, too, the USS Forrestal.
I think there was a huge fire on that one as well.
On the Forrestal?
Yeah, there was some weird shit.
But he lifted his sentence and cited his bravery.
But, yeah, the conviction remained on his record.
So that's probably what linked him.
He went back on active duty, right?
I think he was able to finish his naval career or something, right?
McVeigh?
Yeah, because they...
Was he icy?
First of all, did we find out if the ship, where it was going on the way back?
It was going...
It had dropped off its cargo at an island called Tinian, north of Guam, and it was on
its way to the Philippines.
Yeah, that's what it was, Chrissy.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I was kind of right, but mostly wrong.
Yeah.
But you were fucking right about the 900.
Yeah!
I said 800, you said 900.
Yeah!
You fucking nailed it.
Yeah.
So that was the biggest loss of life in U.S. military history at sea.
Wild story.
Biggest shark attack ever.
Biggest loss of life, sharks eating humans in the history of the world.
And that's where fucking nature and history come together.
That's a perfect story of how nature and history come together big time.
Bad.
Yeah. come together. That's a perfect story of how nature and history come together big time. Bad. Yeah, now
supposedly the sharks don't like to eat
the humans, but the ones
that hung out, if you got humans,
the reason they probably don't like to eat humans
is because they don't encounter them much.
So they don't get a chance to develop a taste.
I didn't like oysters for a long time.
But the more you hang around oysters,
you acquire a taste. Do you think the sharks
at first bit it and were like, didn't like it?
But since the humans were still there four days later, they started to develop a taste and start to eat?
I think they're probably going to like Irish kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I was a shark, I would develop a taste after three days and be like, you know what?
That's maybe why they don't eat them.
They haven't developed a taste yet.
And this is one of those things where if I was on board the Indianapolis with you guys, you know you always make fun of me.
Chrissy Bitch Hips.
You look like a Midwestern stepmom. But when we got into that water, guess whose butt's going to protect it from a couple? And this is one of those things where, like, you know, if I was on board the Indianapolis, you guys, you know, you always make fun of me, Chrissy Bitch Hips, you know, you look
like a Midwestern stepmom, but when we got into that water, guess whose butt's gonna
protect it from a couple, they're gonna have to, the sharks are gonna have to take a few
nicks to get to this butt, but you, Giannis, who's buttless, you would fucking, you would
get, you, they'd hit bone right away, but for me, the sharks are no, like, this is a
fucking, they actually may eat me whole, because my ass meat may fucking just taste like seals.
Yeah, well, if they're going to bite me, I would rather they bite my no-butt or my arm
than bite one of my sneakers off.
I'd be like, these are nice sneakers, stay away from the Jordans.
That's the thing, yeah.
If that went down today, it would just be a bunch of Jordans floating in the water.
That's what it would be.
Zach, Zach, I just faced, can we get to Edgar Harrell
so Edgar Harrell
was a USS
Indianapolis survivor
and
he tells the story
cute kid
cute kid
yeah
he definitely got a lot of
big ears
like they all had big ears
back in the day
well you know
you want to know
why old people have
such big ears
yeah what is it
noses and ears
never stop growing
so your ears actually
get bigger and bigger over time and so does your nose interesting yeah so your nose and ears never stop growing. So your ears actually get bigger and bigger over time, and so does your nose.
Interesting.
Yeah, so your nose and ears are the only things that never stop growing.
Interesting.
Okay.
Little nature fact.
Wow.
Cute.
Cutes my cutes.
So we're going to listen to Edgar Harrell here a little bit. this is him recanting his experience as a survivor of the USS Indianapolis.
Which, by the way, Indianapolis is my most hated city in the U.S.
I hate Indianapolis.
Really?
Nothing going on there.
You hate it more than Portland?
Yeah.
Really?
I don't hate it.
Why?
Because it was just so boring in Indianapolis,
and the people were kind of racist,
and I didn't have a good experience there.
But if any listeners from Indianapolis, thank you for your service.
Here we go.
I was a Marine Guard aboard the Indianapolis.
I actually was a Marine Guard that guarded Fat Man and Little Boy.
Yeah, yeah.
The components of the two atomic bombs that we picked up July 16, 1945 in Hunters Point, San Francisco.
Ten days later, we delivered a...
So one thing about military guys that you can tell, as opposed to civilians.
Civilians like stutter and fuck up their speech a lot.
Military guys, did you ever notice that?
24 hours, 16, I was part of the squadron that
there's no like it's it's like they speak clear and in a straight line because they're so
disciplined well they get a discipline from the military oh yeah man but i can still remember
shit that like i don't know what i'm saying but i know exactly like how to say it so that it comes
across clearly yeah there's a little shit too like if you say our um in boot camp like they make you fucking walk around in a circle wow really
they get rid of filler words fast man wow yeah well they do they well wait oh but but there's
that because see you could tell he's never been in the military because it's always like
yeah but that wouldn't cut it in the military right but there's but i don't know because there's
this guy there's this guy who we're listening to, but then there was this guy who I found, and this guy just sounds, I mean, you know,
he's a survivor and a fucking hero, but...
What are you going to say?
Did you believe him?
No.
An expedition crew on the research vessel...
See, he just, this guy, he just doesn't sound anything, like, Harold's so articulate,
but then this guy just sounds like he was from, like, Harold's probably from, you know, the Northeast or something like that.
And this is just your fucking country bumpkin from Texas who was also on the Indianapolis.
I want to hear him fucking talk.
Hold on.
Yeah.
Put him up.
Put him up.
Let us.
We all want to hear it.
I don't know if I want 20 feet.
I want deer.
Two torpedoes from a Japanese submarine.
Oh, no.
This is fucking gross.
Shut up.
Stop talking.
He's sinking it in 12 minutes.
How I got through this, I really don't know.
I just, damn lucky.
That's all there is to it.
No, he's speaking pretty clear.
And he's also 107, Chris.
No.
Give the guy a break.
Two times that happened.
All right.
Yeah, I mean, he spoke pretty clearly to me.
I had a bigger nose than the shark, so the shark took off.
I mean, he is 95. He said I had a bigger nose than the shark, so the shark took off. I mean, he is 95.
He said I had a bigger nose than the shark, so the shark took off.
Yeah, he's still got a sense of humor.
He's still got a sense of humor.
You can.
Yeah.
All right, let's hear it.
Let's hear more Edgar.
Let's hear Edgar Harle.
Cargo that we didn't know what we had, we delivered it to our B-29 base at Tinian Island.
Yeah.
Tinian Island.
That's where he delivered it.
1,197. Tinian Island. Tinian Island. 1197.
We left Tinian Island on our way to the Philippines
to prepare for the main invasion of Japan, which would have been in November 1945.
But three days out of Guam on the way to the Philippines,
we encountered a Jap sub.
Commander Hosomoto fired a spread of six torpedoes, hit us with two.
The ship went down in 12 minutes.
Can you pause it for a second?
Yeah.
Can you imagine trying to explain being triggered by something someone said to this guy?
Yeah.
The bad term for Japs back then was nips.
I thought it was zips.
Zips, nips, anything.
Slants was one too, right? Yeah, slants.
Lemon suckers.
Can you imagine trying to explain the gender
fluidity of this guy? Oh my god.
That would actually be fucking hilarious
if you sat him down. You were like, tell us
your story about the Indianapolis.
And he'd go, okay, now I want to tell you about my struggle.
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah.
So you spend four days in the water.
That's kind of like, you know.
That's kind of like when they say that my, you know, daughter, just because she has a vagina, is a girl.
She's a baby.
They don't know it. Yeah, she's more of a baby.
Just because the outside looks like one thing doesn't mean the inside yeah is congruent do you know what you're eating do you know what you're eating in conditions
of the pig when you eat bacon it's like oh no no he's like yeah i know um actually my friend next
to me his uh skin was ripped off by the sea yeah i was actually thinking the same thing back in 1945
when i was floating in the water for 806 hours, approximately 25 knots past the perimeter
of the circumference of the radius of the equator.
Next to my friend was three guys who got eaten by two sharks and we lost 15, 17 old men back
then.
Yeah.
I was feeling the same thing.
Yeah, absolutely.
So 900 him, he's, sirs and jurors yeah fell into the water we lost 800 good servicemen
back there so i understand what you're thinking about yeah i was i've i've just feel like i'm
hurt emotionally oh um i don't have any arms or legs all my appendages got eaten off by sharks
i felt that same way when my friend ricky who was also my bunkmate down there in Fort Wayne, Georgia,
came bopping over to me, and he looked like a starfish because he had no limbs.
Yeah.
So I understand what you're going through, ma'am.
Yeah, so yeah, I understand your right to protest.
All right, go ahead.
Let's get back to Andrew. There were seven of us aboard.
We surmised maybe that 900 of us actually got in the water,
which meant about 300 didn't even get off the ship.
But the Navy lost us.
The U.S., it sank so quickly, no distress signal was sent,
no lifeboats deployed.
Providentially, we were spotted four and a half days later.
But instead of there being some 900 out there there
were only 317 of us still alive
what happened to all the other people combination of many things one shark shark to hypothermia. Boys drinking salt waters and going berserk and I often say
that it's it's much easier to die than it is to live believe me.
Sometimes I feel that way when people call me the wrong gender. You can't just continue to swim indefinitely.
And it's difficult to swim four and a half days, but many of us did.
All I had was a K-pop life jacket.
That's what it's called.
Well, a K-pop life jacket won't last four and a half days.
So what happens when it won't hold your head out of water?
I love millennials probably listening to this.
What do they say?
K-pod?
Oh, like a Keurig?
Go ahead.
You take it off.
You turn it upside down and you sit in it.
But then you have to keep swimming or else it'll pit you in the water
and you don't have the strength to get that inner tube back down under you.
Many men grouped together try to help each other fight off the
relentless shock.
I started with a group of
80, two other Marines.
One didn't make it to daybreak.
The other went into the water head
first and had all that oil in his
eyes.
And he's to suffer miserably
the next few days.
But I was in a group of 80.
Now, the third day at noon, there's only 17 of us,
so you can only guess what's happening. And when I was picked up at the end of four and a half days,
I'm with a Navy Lieutenant, Charles McKissick from Texas. The hour before, there were three of us,
but I checked the sailor to see that seemingly he was doing what I had seen
others do so many times.
No more energy, no more will to live, and just give up.
I checked him and his head had already dropped down nearly in the water.
I shook him and he responded, but he care less the second time the same thing the third
time i checked him is too late i mean for the guys who made it all the way to the end and got
rescued and then they were probably in the hospital together in guam for a little while
how do you say goodbye after something like that yeah so uh keep in touch you know yeah yeah how do you you know how do you
communicate to that person yeah that we shared an experience i mean there there's very few people on
the planet probably i mean maybe these guys maybe a few who survives for four days in the water
so it's like you're part of an experience that only you can communicate.
You can't convey to somebody what it was like unless you were there.
How do you say goodbye from that?
See you around.
Give me a call sometime.
Well, a lot of the survivors didn't tell anyone in their families what happened because it was too dramatic.
And I saw one survivor story said he didn't tell his wife for seven years until after he got home from the war,
until some book came out that he was part of the USS Indianapolis.
And then his wife, he said, was really mad at him.
And I'm like, are you fucking serious, Jeanette?
You're fucking mad at me?
I just went to, I was getting eaten alive by sharks and my skin was falling off while you were here using my fucking credit card.
You know, just being a fucking, the mooch that you fucking are, make it believe you're taking care of my kids when you're probably banging my uncle.
Yeah.
So I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the fucking worst thing that ever happened to me.
Because when I got home, you know, you fucking asked me how many fucking dudes I banged out.
It's like, shut up.
It's like, who would have the fucking balls to fucking get mad at, you know, how selfish are people?
Well, you know, a wife. Did your grandpa talk to you?
About, like, because he was in the Coast Guard.
He said, did he ever talk to you? Because, like, my grandfather
wouldn't talk to, I got, he had two
daughters, right? So my mom, my aunt. And he
would never tell them anything about what happened. And then, like,
one day, me and him were just talking. He's like,
he's like, yeah, it's like, this is like when I got my purple
heart. And he goes, somewhere,
my purple heart's upstairs somewhere. He goes, I want you to have it.
And I was like, how did you get a purple heart? And heart he's like i got blown out of a truck in the battle of bulge
wow he's like this is like fuck what all right let's we can come back to the jets game let's
finish holy shit in the battle of the bulge a fucking iconic battle people people who've been
to war my dad was in the korean war yeah they don't just like brag about it or talk about it
it's a pretty like it comes out in weird moments.
They're just like, oh yeah.
Because my dad has a couple stars
too.
He doesn't just talk about it.
He's like, yeah, I got that for
calling in the artillery that killed
because it's such a horror
to be in war.
You don't really want to murder these guys, but you have to.
Anyone who glorifies it and talks, their mouths mouths fucking run let's go over there and fucking shit
it's like dude you've never been my dad told me it is absolute he says it's hell it's mayhem it's
confusion modern artillery is just like you're just firing you don't even see the enemy you go
see the dead bodies afterwards you go to the battlefield and you you know you see what the carnage is but you rarely it's not hand-to-hand combat don't see the enemy really
unless you're doing urban warfare you you still don't even see him things are happening from far
away with scopes and shit and you're firing you can't hear sound either so it's like like a
surgical kind of a thing right you watch some of those videos man like there's people screaming
but you can't hear them because you're so far away and that you can't hear over the fucking firing it's just it's pandemonium there's dust flying
everywhere that's why fratricide is always so high it's because the confusion what they call
the fog of war is so you know sometimes fucking a lot of times in vietnam they're killing your
own people you're killing your own people when they call an artillery they drop it on the you
try to tell them where the positions are you like we think that's what my dad did you know he's a lieutenant so he's like
you know he's telling the artillery where to bomb and yeah you're hoping they're there you're like
i think they're over there because kp it's correct you're wrong don't forget like especially like
vietnam war world war ii like you're getting trained for a few weeks and then being sent to
battle it's like you don't fucking you're not a master of press you don't you're just pressing
buttons you don't fucking know yeah it's fast man of, you're just pressing buttons. You don't fucking know. Yeah, it's fast, man.
Especially, like, my last unit was a reserve unit.
So they'd bring in people who were like, this guy was driving a fucking bus in Gainesville like two weeks ago,
and now he's on like a tower and a machine gun.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's the same thing.
It's kind of crazy how that all works.
Let's hear the rest of Edgar.
I'm a kissick on myself.
Kissick and myself.
One of my buddies, and when he's asked that question,
his response is, and maybe that's a good one,
he says, never, never, never give up.
And I never gave up.
I wondered when I would look at a decomposed body that maybe if I checked him, the bottom torso is gone
or he's disemboweled.
Can you pause it for a second?
He says never give up, but maybe he doesn't know what it's like to be a straight white
male in comedy.
Yes.
I mean, you might as well give up.
You might as well give up.
Yeah.
There's no hope here.
Go ahead.
And you see, you see maybe a body up on an eight-foot swell,
and all of a sudden that swell breaks,
and that body comes down and he hits you,
and he leaves part of the residue on you.
You know, you see that and you wonder,
is that gonna be me tomorrow or yet today?
And so you look up and may i say there's no such thing as an atheist
in foxholes there were no atheists out there everyone prayed i can hear that one no sailor
praying today god if you're out there i don't want to die i've got a son back home that I've never seen. I want to live, but we have to have help.
So we pray, and we pray, and we continue to pray.
So the lesson that I have learned is
I know that there was a higher power watching over me
or I wouldn't be here today.
And there's never a day passes but
what I don't thank my Heavenly Father for sending that plane number one the
second day when I was so thirsty dared not to drink the salt water and to have
a little cloud come over and you see it's raining, it's raining,
and you open your mouth heavenward and you get a few drops of water.
I thank the Lord.
On the third day when there was only 17 of us,
to see a little makeshift of a raft come into our group,
and we see no one's on the raft but five sailors all rounded.
But what they had on the raft was K-POP life jackets that they'd taken off of boys already expired.
They'd squeeze those out and put them on that little raft, and now they're drying out. They came into our group, and our K-POP jackets are gone.
We're seated in them, but we have a new spare tire, so to speak.
We're seated in them, but we have a new spare tire, so to speak. And then sometime later than that day, when you're so thirsty and you haven't had anything to eat, you know, for those three days,
and then to find an old potato crate, and when you reach in and grab that first potato, and to see it's rotten, it's rotten and then that rot squeezed between
your fingers and you take your hands and you peel that and you take your mouth and you
peel off some of that rot but it's solid on the inside so you have a little water and
you have some food and then the end of that fourth day when there's only two of us now and to see that plane
coming in look look there's a plane and you can hear it and then you can imagine the excitement
and you wave you splash water and here all of a sudden he starts in a dive. You think, he sees us. Look, he's coming in.
May I say, impossible for him to see us.
Here, he's flying at that distance.
He's looking forward of him, say, four miles.
He's looking at his peripheral vision, two and a half miles.
Looking at 20 square miles.
And to see a man's head down here six by eight inches, impossible.
But in the providence of God, he saw us.
Let me tell you how he saw us.
Lieutenant Gwynne flying that Ventura out of Paloo,
looking out on a search and destroy for submarines.
Here he's having problems with his radio antenna.
He tells the co-pilot, take over control.
I'm going to go aft and I'm going to pull in that antenna. He tells the co-pilot, take over control. I'm going to go aft and I'm going to pull in that antenna. And he had a piece of rubber hose that he was going to put on that. And as he opened the
bomb bay door, he glances down two or three thousand feet. And what did he see? He saw the
little boy's scabs mirror. He saw the sun hit the oil off of our clothing down there and
the glitter of that he rushed back to take over control so they rescued him i mean he's basically
telling us everything that you told it you know you already told all right yeah but i just thought
you know it's nice to hear him him say it that's fucking no it is nice if they zoom out on the
camera and like his grandkids are texting in the background yeah yeah just look done with it like every year he does this yeah yeah i mean it's wild you know what i was thinking
when i watch this is like um i was trying to think like what would give me the fortitude
the will to survive i think it's like maybe faith that was that was very interesting he's like
there's no atheists and foxholes he's like, there's no atheists in foxholes. He's like, yeah, there was no atheists out there that day.
It's true.
I'd be fucking praying too, you know?
But then, so is that what, you know,
was it faith that kept like certain guys?
Were the other guys who died the guys who were kind of like on the fence?
Because he's going like, God's going to save us, you know?
No, there were probably some Jews in the Navy.
I would think, right?
Let's keep a couple.
You know, because that's not going to do you any good
to be a guy out there being like, look, I don't know if there is or there isn't a god you know you just
gotta fucking believe you gotta in those moments you gotta just go gung-ho but it's funny that
this guy believes so much but then you look and you're going all right maybe he's right right
maybe there is a god and god divine providence did send that plan and all the things he's saying
are true and faith is what kept him alive but then you're going like who the fuck put you in
that situation god's then god's a fucking, who the fuck put you in that situation?
God's a fucking dick.
He's like, you know what?
I'm going to fucking throw some sharks in there, throw you in the water for four days,
but then I'm going to save you after the fourth day.
Yeah.
And only a few of you.
Only the ones that believe really hard.
You got to believe.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, that was the story of the USS Indianapolis.
Hope you guys enjoyed it.
It's fucking wild.
You know, moral of the story, and I've been saying this, is don't go in the water.
That's why I don't go in the fucking water.
Yeah, black kids know that.
Fucking sharks can't get me if I'm on land.
As long as I got my two feet on the sidewalk in Brooklyn, I'm safe as a fucking safe guy.
Maybe that's why a lot of black kids, you know, they don't learn to swim until later.
They've seen the story.
They've seen the story story and they're like
You!
Be careful from the sharks
Anybody listening right now
We appreciate it
If you want to be part of our select group
And really join our Hyena Matriarch
Then you go to patreon.com
Slash Bay Ridge Boys
To be a part of that
And we got some new members of the Matriarch.
And as promised, when you join the Matriarch, we read your names here on the fucking History
of Ahina's podcast, and we give you a shout out.
We celebrate you, if you will.
Thank you for your service.
So first, got an Italian girl, probably a girl from Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, Maria Christina
Carrero.
Wow.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Wow. Yeah. Maria Christina Carrero. Wow. Hold on. Wow.
Yeah.
Maria Christina.
What are the chances that that girl didn't go to Catholic school and doesn't have a rosary
bead on the top of her bed?
And 100% her husband used to be a DJ.
Now he's in real estate.
Now here we go.
Now we got Shelly K. Booker.
We don't know who she is.
That's just a pure American.
That's American right there.
Her fucking grandpa was on the USS Indianapolis.
Then we have Adam Menges.
What kind of name is Menges?
I don't know.
Or Mengs.
Whenever we don't know, we just say probably Jew.
Yep.
Jewed out.
Jewed out.
Then we have an Italian girl, another Italian princess, Alyssa Romano.
Romano.
That's a good, solid Italian name.
Follow the Romano cheese.
Then we got Jeannie Gernius.
That's a Greek.
Greek.
Welcome to the Metriaki.
Greek girl.
Your father knows you here.
Here.
And then we got Samuel Peck.
Oh, that's an American band.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got Adam Foreman.
Adam Foreman.
A couple of Americans who definitely have slave owners in their background.
Yeah.
Then we got a Bay Ridge staple, Bread Brothers Bagel Cafe.
Now we got another Irish kid, Sean Barry Jr.
Wow.
You go, wow.
That's a fucking kid's going to be sitting at a bar.
Where's daddy?
You know where he is.
Yeah, that kid works for sanitation.
You're fucking Sitting at a bar
Donated from his pension
To support you guys
That's great
Exactly
Then we got
Morgan Rohan Smith
Cute
Cute name
Three names
Morgan Rohan
But it's a guy though
Yeah could be
I think that's
African American
We have a diverse fan base
Absolutely
I love that
Now we have
And then next up is
Mandy Genji
Mandy Genji?
Yeah I don't know
You know I don't know.
You know, I don't know if like, sometimes I wonder if like, you just can't read, are you reading that right?
Menji?
Mandy Genji.
How do you spell it?
G-E-N-G-I-E.
Genji.
Genji.
Genji?
Mandy.
It's just Jewish.
It's just Jewish.
Yeah, Jewish.
Ray Bards.
Ray Bards?
Or Bardez.
I don't know.
B-A-R-D-E-S.
Could be Puerto Rican.
Could be.
That's right.
Derek Booth.
Yeah, good black kid.
Yeah, black kid.
Yeah, he definitely is good.
He's getting recruited by Villanova.
Then we'll end with a Jew.
Jake Metz.
Oh, for sure.
M-E-T-Z.
Welcome to the-
Shalom, Jakey!
Welcome to the Mediocre.
Welcome.
Yeah, cuzzy, wuzzy.
So thank you so much.
We appreciate everything
we found
a hyena mask
online
if anybody wants to
donate to the patreon
it's $500 the mask
so if anybody wants
to donate to the patreon or find us on cameo
yeah find Giannis Pappas
on cameo it's an app Giannis Papas on Cameo.
It's an app called Cameo.
We'll give you guys a shout out.
Yeah.
Or Chris DiStefano on Cameo.
If we can get the $500 raised, we will send you a Cameo with the hyena mask on.
Can we get like a theme music or something for Chrissy's Wild Requests?
Yeah, absolutely.
Send me the link and I'm going to put the link so they can see the hyena mask
you guys want.
Yeah, okay.
But we should
on the podcast
it should become a segment
where we get a fucking music
and it's Chrissy's Wild Requests.
Wild Requests.
His first request was a
was a pseudo penis cake
and we fucking got it.
We got it.
We got it from the
good ladies at
Nora Cupcakes.
Nora Cupcake Company
of Hartford, Connecticut.
And now we want that fucking mask.
Yep, we want that mask.
So we need 500 bucks to get that mask.
Or if you make that mask, or you know the maker of that mask, or if you can make.
How about Chrissy?
What if they can make a hyena mask?
Yeah, absolutely.
If you can make it for us.
Then you fucking send it to us.
KP Burke, where can people find you?
KP Burke sucks on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all that shit, man.
And then this weekend I'm actually opening for Lynn Coplitz, that and Uncle Vinny.
There you go.
There it is.
Yanni?
Yeah.
Well, you know, they're here every week.
You know what it is.
It is what it is.
Giannis Pappas.
How many comedians have that name?
Find me.
Nobody.
Yeah, you know what it is.
At Bay Ridge Boys.
You can find me at Chris D Comedy, chrisdcomedy.com.
I got some shows coming up.
Check it out.
Check out the site and tell your friends.
You got to tell a friend. You got to
rate us and review us on iTunes.
You got to rate us
and review us on Riotcast. You got to tell your
friends about
us, about the history hyenas, about the Bay Ridge
boys. SoundCloud as well. All
episodes are now on SoundCloud.
SoundCloud. That was the voice that had been lying to himself.
SoundCloud. SoCloud. That was the voice that had been lying to himself. SoundCloud.
So all those places.
Come find us.
Let me reiterate.
Me and Chrissy have an offer out, and we mean it.
If you can prove that you recommended five people to the History Hyenas podcast,
they private message us and say, I started listening to you because of Boom.
And we get five of those,
that Boom being your name,
me and Chrissy DiStefano are going to send you a signed photograph
of me and him drinking smoothies
in nothing but swim trunks.
Yes.
Posing together.
Also, also we have got Bay Ridge Boys t-shirts at bayridgeboys.net.
They're at bayridgeboys.net, right?
Yes!
And we also have soon, we have a few more designs coming soon,
but right now, get the Bay Ridge Boys shirts.
There's only a few left.
We got women's sizes now.
We got smalls.
We got mediums.
We got large. We got doubles. We got mediums.
We got large.
We got double XL.
We got all the way to quadruple XL because we know some of our fans are fat fucks. K-k-k-kill.
K-k-k-k-kitties.
And yeah, get your gear.
Get your Bay Ridge Boys gear.
Send us videos of you with a smoothie saying cuties at smoothies.
If you guys, anybody sends us a video of them wearing a Bay Ridge Boys t-shirts, drinking a smoothie, saying cuties at smoothies with our Instagram hashtag.
And I'm sorry, with our podcast hashtag.
I will send you a picture of my flaccid dick.
So that's a guarantee.
All right, guys.
Have a good night.
Have a good afternoon.
Have a good morning.
Whatever it is.
Bye. Oh, oh, oh. ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល់ពីប្រូវតែល