History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 4 - Hyenas Invade The South
Episode Date: March 4, 2018Yannis and Chris take a roadtrip to the South and visit historic Civil War battlefields, courtrooms and a ye olde candy shoppe. Things get wild cuzzies!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.pat...reon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, Captain Cuck?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys History Hyenas. What's up?
What's going on out there, hyenas?
Cuzzies?
Cuzzy wuzzies,
Chris DiStefano, Giannis Pappas, another episode of History Hyenas,
and do we have wild tales to tell you.
We had a good, good time.
We took the history hyenas down south.
Hyenas really don't go down south that much.
No, we invaded.
We went past the Mason-Dixon line.
We went into the Confederacy.
Just to make sure they're not trying to rise up again.
If they do, we're coming with our Jordans.
We're beating them right back down back.
Yeah, we're union boys.
We marched down there.
We saw some great stuff.
Giannis got booked on a gig down there.
And then he asked me if I wanted to come open up for him, which was disrespectful.
But I did it anyway because I'm a true gay.
And it was great, man.
We were in this little town called Winchester, Virginia.
Beautiful town.
Beautiful town, cuz.
Yeah.
I love how the guy that booked me was like, how did you get Chris DiStefano to come up
here for such little money?
Yeah.
I was like, cuz, we're going on history tours.
Bad.
But then, you know, people will be people. Then he asked me to come back to for such little money. Yeah. I was like, cuz, we're going on history tours. We're going on history tours. But then, you know, people will be people.
Then he asked me to come back to Virginia for 50 bucks.
Yeah.
Next month.
It's not like he was paying me a lot of money.
I was like, yo, you should be asking yourself how you got me for such little money.
Yeah, cuz.
It's because my career's not that great.
That's why.
Yeah, but it's going to change now.
Woo!
Woo-wee!
We had a good time.
I know we were going to, we said we were going to talk about the Battle of Crete.
Yes.
Which we will get to.
A hundred percent.
I know we said we were going to talk about the Battle of Crete, which we will get to.
A hundred percent.
But we called an audible because all this is fresh in our mind and we had a wild gay weekend.
Yeah.
I mean, we were skipping around in those battlefields.
We had them all to ourselves because of the weather.
Yeah. Which made it even a better experience to experience these battlefields during this fog and this rain that we had this weekend.
Yeah, because it felt like, you know, it felt like it was somber, you know?
It was somber, and it was like there was a lot of death around the battlefield, you know?
So it was good that it was raining.
I mean, Giannis was upset because his Jordans got ruined, but what are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
I mean, Giannis is a fuck—let me tell you how wild Giannis the Greek Pappas is.
So, first of all, we go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
That's where we went first.
We drove—Giannis, we had a show. Here's what Pennsylvania. That's where we went first. We drove. Giannis, we had a show.
Here's what happened.
We left Friday, okay, from New York.
Giannis had a show in a diner in New Jersey Friday night because, like he said, his career
is going well.
It was a dog benefit.
It was a dog.
Yeah, Giannis loves dogs.
Yeah, anything for nature and dogs, Gianni Papi is in.
So we go to this benefit, do some comedy
at this benefit. I fucking bombed.
Giannis killed. You didn't bomb. I bombed,
cuz. I bombed. I got into a fight with one of
the people. I told them I would kill their cats.
Yeah, I got into a fight. Yeah.
But, you know, then
so we, you know, we go, we were
at the diner, you know,
there was a couple of cuties with booties there,
but, you know, we just, we marched on, because we knew that we had to invadeies and booties there, but we marched on
because we knew that we had to invade the South
the next morning, so we wanted to be
up there because we didn't want
General Grant to
be upset with us. So we
start driving. And when you invade, you want to
do it under cover at night. You want to do it under the cover?
Well, you want to move your troops under the cover at night.
You want to invade bright and early.
Yeah. The crack of dawn, you want to be out there. You want to be busting heads. But when we mobilize, you want to move your troops under the cover. Cover night. You want to invade bright and early. Yeah. The crack of dawn.
You want to be out there.
You want to be busting heads.
But when we mobilize, you're right.
Mobilize.
You got to mobilize under darkness.
Right.
So we mobilized in Giannis' 2018 BMW.
Yeah, we marched up in a BMW.
Just like the Union troops did in the Civil War.
It's a nice piece, Dakar, no?
Yeah, it's a nice piece.
Listening to Kings of Leon jerking off.
They must have hated us.
We were rolling around in a white...
How stereotypical could we be?
White BMW with pink license plate covers,
and then we get out with your gelled hair,
and I got my Yankee hat on.
Oh, my God.
They were grossed out.
Yeah, the city of Winchester, Virginia
thought they were being invaded by Staten Island.
And then when we went to the Battle of Vantidum,
which we'll tell you about,
great, huge battlefield,
we actually bought Union Civil War hats, and we put them on crooked. Great, huge battlefield. We actually bought Union Civil War hats
and we put them on crooked.
Yeah, we put them on crooked
because we felt as New Yorkers,
if this is a true New York regiment of the Union Army,
we would march into every southern town
with our Civil War hats to the side,
Jordans pumping fucking freestyle music.
That's right.
And this is a good point to plug
what we're about to do right now.
We love you so much.
We just want to say thank you for your service.
We've launched our Patreon page.
A lot of you are already messaging us about
how much you love history hyenas, how you're
a hyena bad, how you're wild.
You love history. Guess what we're going to do
for you on the Patreon page? We made videos
of all of that. Behind the scenes
tour videos with our
hats on, our Union Boy hats on, Crooked and all that. And they're going to be available on our union boy hats on crooked and all that
and they're going to be available on our patreon page yeah anything we talk about today on the
podcast even in the whether it be the first half an hour that's free or the second half uh the
second half hour that's only for our patreon members everything we talk about we made a video
of and you can see that on if you go to patreon.com backslash bay ridge boys and become a member of
our kud's munity you could see all that but yo so we go to gettcom backslash Bay Ridge Boys and become a member of our Cuds community, you can see all that. But yo,
so we go to Gettysburg, right?
We go up there, show up
looking at the battlefield. Wait, but you gotta tell them
first how wild we are. We didn't
plan any of this. No, no, no. We did not plan
a goddamn thing. No, this was
all literally
we're driving, we're trying to drive
from the diner in New Jersey
to Winchester, Virginia. We see a sign for Gettysburg. We're like, we're going on hotel tonight. Not a sponsor, but a good app. And we're like. We're trying to drive from the diner in New Jersey to Winchester, Virginia.
We see a sign for Gettysburg.
We're like, we're going on hotel tonight.
Not a sponsor, but a good app.
And we're like, we'll get in a room.
We're going to Gettysburg.
A lot of people always ask, can I be wild?
Am I a hyena?
Do something like that.
We just were driving.
We didn't have a plan.
We didn't have a hotel room.
We had nothing.
We had our hotels from the venue the next day and the next day after that.
But for tonight, we're're like we're just going south
we're marching south and figuring it out
and then when it started raining you saw
Gettysburg and we said let's get a hotel we're gonna go to
Gettysburg and Giannis you know
at first Giannis was like
he wanted to get two separate rooms but because I know
Gettysburg's haunted I want to stay in the room with
Giannis so we just got one room with two beds
and that Giannis helped me out with that
because you know I'm scared of ghosts.
I remember when I went to Maryland with you and I
woke up and I just saw you standing
there freaking out. Were you just having night terrors?
Yeah, I was having night terrors. And by the way,
I always forget to say who's in the room. Of course
we got our two regulars, Ice's face
and the White Wasp, but now
Bardo Church,
White Wasp, and Zach Ice's
face, question mark, last name.
But then like a waft smell of pepperoni just came into the room.
Just came in.
And now we have once in a while guests.
And I looked over and why?
And why?
Because it's Mini Mussolini, a.k.a. Jim Serpico.
It's in the building.
So we got our regular cast of characters.
Now we got a complete team.
We got the A team, the gay team.
The starting five are in here right now.
That's right.
So now it's a podcast baby that's
right on us would say that's right um so yeah so we're we go to get we're in we had no plan and it
was actually your idea yeah it was actually your idea because you started googling you're like yo
are we close to gettysburg yeah because i'm a big history buff yeah and then you google and you're
like yeah we are boom it's not too far out of the way we're fucking and we got so pumped you were
sleeping and then we're like we we're doing Gettysburg
tomorrow? Bad.
Yep. We woke up. What did we do? We woke up,
we coughed up. You tried to have some coffee from the hotel
and you threw up in the parking lot. Yeah, I can't.
It tastes like dirt and water. That's the thing about New York,
dude. Coffee's good everywhere here.
Over there, it's like, you gotta go get good
coffee. Yeah, I mean, Giannis, you know, we
pulled over at some coffee shop off the side of the road
in Gettysburg. Nice little quaint town.
And Giannis pulled over in a no parking any time pass way because he just doesn't give a shit.
And I feel like you don't get tickets.
Like, you want to get a ticket there.
And in a place like Gettysburg, you know, you're not going to get a $75 ticket and a boot on your car.
You're just going to get a note that says, thank you for visiting Gettysburg.
Please donate $10.
That's what a parking ticket is in Gettysburg, PA.
Have you ever got a parking ticket outside of New York?
They're hilarious.
They're cute.
They're cute.
It's like in DC, you get a parking ticket, it's 35 bucks.
You're like, I'm just going to leave this here for four years.
Yeah.
Because it'll take four years to equal what a parking ticket in New York for one night would be.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So ticket me up.
I don't care, Gettysburg.
So we go to the Gettysburg National Park Service.
What was that building called that we went to?
The Visitor Center.
The Visitor Center, which looked like an NBA arena.
I mean, when you get outside New York,
the space that people have in this country to build.
I mean, this Visitor Center literally looked like where the Golden State Warriors play. I mean, a Visitor Center anywhere in New York, the space that people have in this country to build. I mean, this visitor center literally look like where the Golden State Warriors play.
I mean, a visitor center anywhere in New York is in the fucking train station.
Like it's in a it's in a hot dog cart.
Everything is just bigger.
You go to church out there.
It's like in an arena.
Yeah.
You know, you go here.
The church is like 40 people.
You go out there.
It's like Joel Osteen in front of 18000 fans.
It's just no room.
There's no not enough room for it in New York.
They spread out out there bad.
So we get to Gettysburg.
First of all, some of the weapons that were used in the Civil War were riot.
I mean, I would much rather fight.
I would much rather, like, they have weapons now that can just evaporate you as a human being.
Like, they'll suck the heat out of the air and you'll just suffocate.
I'd rather do that than, I mean, these people were getting cannonballs to their faces and
into their stomachs.
I mean, guys had legit holes in their bodies in these battles, the battle wounds we saw
in Gettysburg, PA.
That's a great point.
I mean, you get stabbed with a bayonet, get hit with a sword in Gettysburg.
The canisters?
Yeah, those canisters.
They got like these mini, they got like all
sizes. They come in different sizes.
Remember they had like the little ones that they spray
out? Yes. And the guy was like,
these ones would actually make you evaporate.
Because if you get hit with like ten, they just spread out.
They called that the money shot.
That's what the union called that.
So they had the, and they're just balls.
And then the artillery rounds are like thick iron.
They would just blow your leg clean off.
Clean off.
It was probably the first war, probably the first war or that time period where heavy artillery started being, they didn't have heavy.
They had cannonballs and stuff, but that was it.
You couldn't really aim with a cannonball.
You just shot it up and just hoped to hit a ship.
No, this was like accuracy.
Yeah.
And a lot of the shit that was happening from the first battle that we saw.
First of all, Gettysburg was the bloodiest battle of the Civil War.
The most men died there over the course of the battle.
I thought that was Antietam.
Antietam was the most people that died in one day.
Yeah.
23,000 died in one day in Antietam.
Yeah.
53,000 died over the course of three days at Gettysburg.
Boom, you just learned something.
Yeah, because at that time, at the time of the Battle of Gettysburg, more people had died.
More Americans died in the Battle of Gettysburg alone than all of the wars America had had up until that point combined.
Wow.
Which is a wild stat.
That is fucking wild. that is fucking wild wild
wild and you know it's funny at the beginning of the civil war there was like this um i think he
was the mayor he was a mayor somewhere in texas or a state congressman or something texas and he
thought everyone thought the civil war was gonna last like 90 days about yeah about three months
90 days i'll say that civil war gonna last about three months. 90 days. I'll say that Civil War
gonna last about three months.
And he said,
you know,
yeah, I'll be able
to just wipe up the blood
with like a pocket napkin.
That's what he said,
a pocket napkin.
That's what he thought
it was gonna be,
but no, dude.
Pretty big pocket napkin.
You're gonna need a biggie.
If you got a pocket napkin
that size,
you better get it from Costco.
You better get it from Costco
because that was a lot of blood.
Yeah.
So we're going around
the battlefield to Gettysburg,
which is, I mean, you could sense the death there.
It's a weird thing to say, but if you've been there,
you could just feel the death.
And you know me, I believe in ghosts.
Well, it's because you believe in ghosts, yeah.
Yeah, I felt a couple of ghosts get on my hood and shit,
but thank God I had Giannis and Jesus Christ there
to tell me that ghosts aren't real, allegedly.
But the way I can describe Giannis Pappas, who Giannis Pappas is, as a TBG,
True Blue Gay, and just, you know, Feta Cheese Freddy.
Giannis Pappas, just a New York scum that he is.
We were behind union lines.
Let me preface.
Yeah, because look, what you did was just a contradiction.
You said I'm a scum, I'm a piece of shit, but then you said we're behind Union lines.
I did the right thing.
Yes, he did do the right thing, but we weren't behind Union lines, so at least I have to give him this credit.
And we do have video of this.
If you go on our Patreon.com backslash Bay Ridge Boys, the only way you can see this video,
we were at, it was called Little Round Top, and it was this beautiful observation point
at the height of one of the hills at the Battle of Gettysburg where the Union Army bunkered down and was taken.
A lot of men died there.
They were taken.
And it was mostly the New York Regiment, by the way.
Mostly the New York Regiment.
A lot in all those battles.
Yeah, New York just came through.
Bowery boys fucking represented, cuz.
We just come through.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
But this is a lot of the New York Regiment taking direct fire, direct sniper fire from Confederate snipers at a specific point in Battle of Gettysburg called Little Round Top.
I'm taking videos of it for you guys, for the fans.
I'm just soaking in the energy of it, kind of really getting actually a little emotional.
I turn around.
Giannis is taking a piss on one of the sacred rocks of the Battle of Gettysburg, just full, full.
I will say this. It was beyond Union lines. And honestly,ysburg, just full, full, I will say this.
It was beyond Union lines, and honestly, Giannis,
you got a nice flow.
I will say you got a healthy prostate.
I got a healthy prostate, right?
It was raining, but I could tell.
You could hear it hitting the rock hard.
So it's like, you know.
You thought it was raining hard out.
I thought it was raining hard, and I thought,
I was like, how come this rain's warm?
It's because you were pissing on my ankle.
That's what it was.
So, I mean, at least he did it behind Union lines,
but I mean, just so you know, that's the kind of, people ask, how do you know that's the kind of people ask how do you be wild how to be a hyena if you want to be a hyena you go take
a piss on the gettysburg national battlefield that's hyena activity and probably a jailable
offense when somebody hears this i pissed on two you pissed on two and i wanted to yeah all right
like that's the part of the story he didn't tell you there was something in me i don't know
look me and chrissy the thing we love, I think we share
the love for how much we love
history and like, I never tire
from doing the tours. I never tire at all. And there was something
deep in me that wanted
to piss on the battlefields. And I don't know why.
It's like I wanted to be part of,
I wanted to leave something there, like I wanted
to just make my mark and just be part
of it. Spray a rock. I just wanted to piss
on it because I felt like it's history and you know, I should leave my DNA there. I wanted to be a part of it. Spray a rock. I just wanted to piss on it because I felt like it's history and I should leave my DNA
there.
Yeah.
I wanted to be a part of it.
I'm a true blue American, so I pissed on that one and I pissed in Antietam.
No, you're a TBA and a TBG.
Guaranteed.
True blue American, true blue gay.
But I pissed in Antietam too, remember?
You did piss in Antietam and that was in Confederate line.
So that was a little more disrespectful.
You're going to be haunted by the ghost of Stonewall Jackson for the rest of your life
for pissing on Confederate line to the Battle of Antioch.
I also spit in the cemetery.
You did spit in the cemetery.
But it was on a Confederate.
It was on a Confederate.
I mean, the disrespect.
And again, we have videos of all this fucking absolute savagery that Giannis did this weekend.
But you know what?
To be honest with you, I don't worry.
I don't think even the soldiers, the dead soldiers who were watching over us when we were touring those battlefields, I don't think that they even care because the amount of shit and piss that was left behind on those battlefields must have been astounding.
I mean, this is a history podcast. It's also a nature podcast.
I mean, and when you got to fucking when you got to do, you know, what Mother Nature intended you to do and you got to drop a shit and drop a piss, that's going to happen in the middle of a battle.
I mean, you can't hold your bladder
when you got Confederate gunfire
whizzing past your head, right?
There's no way.
The thing that people don't know about battle
is almost everyone pisses and shits themselves
during battle.
You lose control of your bowels.
Let me just clarify,
Giannis and I don't know either, okay?
We've heard this through Giannis' dad.
My dad told me that.
He was a fucking war hero.
Yeah, he said a lot of people,
he said a lot of the kids pissed.
Yeah, I had diarrhea the night of my Comedy Central special.
So you could imagine what would happen if I was in a fucking Confederate Civil War battle.
I mean, I would shit out my organs.
Is that just not an example of how men have changed?
Oh, big time.
Especially me, like I was worried about my Jordans in the rain and stuff.
Yeah.
And I was getting a little chilly.
I was like, it's chilly out here.
You didn't want to get out to view Little Round Top
because you said it was raining. I don't know, cuz.
And then I remembered, I was like, oh, we have umbrellas.
So then I grabbed our umbrellas and we
just looked like fucking two Mary Poppins rolling up a little bit.
Where back in the day, these union shows
was fucking spitting tobacco on the floor,
climbing up there with snipers aimed at them
in probably three degree weather. I climbed down
one rock, one rock embankment to read
a plaque. So it's like, if there's, the sign one rock, one rock embankment to read a plaque. So it's like, if there's,
the sign says,
please climb down rock embankment
to read the plaque.
And I climbed down,
and Janice was like,
be careful!
Janice was like,
be careful!
It's slippery!
And it's like,
first of all,
here's what Janice and I both know,
and this is just a fact.
We would have been
in the Union Army,
for sure we would have fought
with the boys in blue.
I mean, we have to.
We're Northern boys.
We would have had a good time marching down.
Giannis and I would have made
the rest of our
fellow soldiers
laugh a lot. We would have laughed a lot.
And in training, we would have been
laughing, having a good time. People
would have really liked us. The very
first time we got deployed to battle, we were both going to get
shot in the head and killed on sight immediately by the enemy because we have no idea
what the fuck we're doing or we're just gonna desert once once the shots are fired we're running
yeah i mean i would desert if i walked one if i walked past one bakery if i walked past one
southern bakery if i just saw one nice piece this piece of southern puss that showed any interest
i was gonna desert i mean you could hang me but to be honest with you, like, I don't want to live in a
world where I can't eat chocolate cakes or fucking bang fat chicks.
The Southern charm is really sexy though, no?
Beautiful, the Southern charm.
It's fucking beautiful.
Being in the South kind of makes, it slows everything down.
It's peaceful.
My anxiety was down.
The blood pressure was down.
But then, I mean, then we started eating meat and cheese and shit. Yeah. And it probably went back up.
We ate like shit.
Yeah.
We did eat bad.
The thing that a lot of people never really think about is like, dude, these soldiers
marched where they had to go.
Yes.
The battle had, and look, all the soldiers until the freed slaves got into the army.
Yeah.
Until the Emancipation Proclamation.
We're talking about white dudes running and walking.
That's why these battles took so long.
White dudes are slow.
White dudes are slow.
Yeah.
That's why to run towards each other probably fucking took forever.
Dude, think about Matt Scalabrini trying to fucking lead a charge.
He's just slow.
You know, it's bad.
Yeah.
It's like watching a marathon runner try to sprint.
And a lot, see, a lot of the things, and see, here's the thing.
The Union had a lot more soldiers, of course.
We had more states in the Union that,Confederate had less states that seceded.
But the war was in the South.
So when you come up here in the North, there's not really any Civil War history.
The most Northern battle, I believe, was Gettysburg.
They said that there was a little skirmish in New Hampshire or Vermont—oh, in Vermont I meant.
But the truest Northern battle was Gettysburg because the war was fought in the
south because the south was the one that was seceding from the Union.
So we had the Union had to go invade the south.
So we got, you had guys marching all the way from Deer Isle, Maine, that was the most northern
place that the soldiers came from for the Union, all the way down to northern Florida.
That's a long walk.
That's a fucking long walk, cuz.
Yeah. That's a long walk. That's a fucking long walk, cuz. Yeah.
That's a long walk.
That's a long stroll.
I mean, cuz, if they had Fitbits on, they would be champs.
I mean, listen, if some of those Civil War soldiers were wearing Fitbits, yo, there's
no way you're breaking those steps record.
Good way to get in shape right before you get your head blown off.
Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine.
At least those guys died fit.
Yeah.
They died fit and cute.
And listen, we saw some pictures.
Some of these Civil War soldiers and cute. And listen, we saw some pictures.
Some of these Civil War soldiers, cute.
Nobody fat.
None of them were fat.
None of them were, you know, they don't look like us. Like, first of all, the Union hat that we bought, the Union hats that I bought for Giannis and I,
that we bought at the Battle of Antietam, that we have videos of it on our Patreon page,
they didn't even fit my head. I got the biggest size it on our Patreon page, they didn't even fit my head.
I got the biggest size they had, XL,
and it didn't even fit my head.
So that just goes to show you,
my size and weight,
having a size 38 waist,
wouldn't have been something that was even,
I would have just had to fight with no pants on.
There were really no fat soldiers.
When you see the old pictures of old soldiers in the Civil War,
you don't see anyone overweight.
No.
Nobody.
And they had nice looking uniforms, the Civil
War. The Union had nice looking uniforms
better than the South, I think. They looked similar
except for gray and blue. Gray and blue, yeah.
And here's how you know, Giannis, if there's
ever any doubt that Giannis is in fact
a TBG. We had
a Civil War
guide with us in the
Battle of Gettysburg. We only got to
talk to him for about 15 minutes, so I was asking a lot of questions about what was the Battle of Gettysburg. We only got to talk to him for about 15 minutes.
So I was asking a lot of questions about, you know, what was the mindset of these soldiers
and what kind of things were they thinking about? Tell me about like how Robert E. Lee would outflank
General McClellan and tell me about this and that. And then when Giannis got to Florida,
he asked them what kind of boots they wore and if the boots were comfortable and who picked the fashion for the Union and if the Confederate soldiers, was there a nicer boot on a Confederate soldier than a Union soldier?
Because if I'm going to die on a battlefield, I'm going to look cute.
Yeah.
There's no question about it.
On the day of my death, I'm going to look cute.
Yeah.
There's no way. Even the tour
guide was like, there's pretty
much your standard boot. And you were like, yeah, but is it more like
a fry boot?
Is it wing-tipped?
Is it wing-tipped? Is it red wing?
Is it more like a Timberland? Does it have a nice
sole to give me a little height? Yeah, like what kind
of lift are we talking about here?
I mean, the guy couldn't believe it.
Shout out to Chris from Gettysburg Visitor Center.
Good dude.
Yeah, good dude.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot of gays we came into.
Yeah, but who cares?
I fucking love gays.
We're true blue gays.
We're a couple of TBGs.
We are.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, it's fucking the best.
Being gay is the best.
Yeah.
But these dudes marched far, far and long.
Far and long.
Deep into enemy territory.
Some of them had horseback, but you know what the surprising thing that we learned about was?
And it makes sense.
The South, at the beginning of the war, had the more experienced soldiers.
Yes.
Especially the cavalrymen.
Because these guys all grew up around horses, on horses.
The guys in the North, they're city boys.
They don't roll around on fucking horses.
No, I mean, it's pretty much how it is today.
The North, we're Northern Yankees.
What do we do? We sit in Starbucks.
We talk about shit. I mean, me and
Giannis, we're two king cucks
that just live in the North. We're the South.
Those are the boys. I mean, they're on
RVs. They're working
in the fields. I mean, and even still to this
day, I bet you most of the Army,
the ones that they send, like Green Rangers
and Marines, they come from the South.
Kentucky, Louisiana, Florida, Alabama.
These are like the strong men of this country,
usually are Southern boys.
It was the same in the Civil War.
It's just the North, we just had so many more people.
That's the thing.
And Robert E. Lee fought.
Of course, he was the leader of the Confederate Army,
but we almost had him for the Union. He was Lincoln's top choice.
And you know what? Robert E. Lee was a secessionist.
He was against secession, he was against secession, and he was
against slavery, personally, morally. The reason why he chose
to fight for the South is he just could not take
the thought
of invading his homeland,
his own homeland.
That's how much of a
Virginian he was.
Yeah, well, I mean,
to be honest...
So maybe that's why
they lost the war
because their head dude
was kind of,
you know,
he was lukewarm in his heart
about the whole thing.
He didn't have a great cause.
That's true, yeah.
I mean, he was
compassionate about it, but...
Because him and Stonewall Jax,
who was a cutie...
Yo, Thomas Stonewall Jackson.
Who was a really genius military maneuverer.
Probably the best.
Probably this Lee, what they say was the best.
And then Stonewall Jackson was the second best or maybe the best military leader of the entire Civil War.
Yeah, that's why they called Stonewall.
Stonewall.
He held the fucking line.
He held it because, I mean, no matter what, he was holding strong and he was dope at outflanking.
He held it because, I mean, no matter what, he was holding strong and he was dope at outflanking.
He was dope at having his soldiers fight for him because I think that's what a good general is, I think.
You got to convince your soldiers that they may die, but if they're going to die, they're going to not die in vain and they're going to die for you. And I think Stonewall Jackson would do that probably better than anyone else because the Union generals, Lincoln had to go through
like six generals before they got to Ulysses S. Grant.
And he was like a failure.
A lot of those generals worked their way up.
They weren't like generals to start like Robert E. Lee.
They were just guys who were unsuccessful in life.
Fucking Ulysses Grant was like a failure, a drunk.
He was a failure even at the end of his life.
Even after he became president, Ulysses S. Grant, Mark Twain wrote his autobiography just so he could make money to
give to Ulysses S. Grant. I mean, he always fucked up, but he was good. He won the Civil War, you
know, because he basically all that was was the Union soldiers wanted somebody to fight for.
Because listen, back in the 1800s, in the mid 1800s, I mean, there's no cameras. You know,
there's really like not a lot of ways to keep track.
I mean, guys would desert every day.
And once the morale of the troops goes away, that's why,
because a lot of people think, like,
why the fuck would the Confederate Army attack the North?
Why would you do that?
The North is coming to you.
Who cares?
Why would you ever go into the North?
You don't want to be a part of that country anyway.
You want to be part of your own country.
But the reason why Robert E. Lee decided to attack Gettysburg, because he said, if we
can get a victory in the North, just even if we edge it out by the skin of our teeth
or just show that we are a powerhouse to be dealt with, we can break the morale of the
Union troops and maybe force Abraham Lincoln to
just recognize us as our own country and end the war.
So that's how much morale meant.
It's the same thing at the Battle of Gettysburg.
There's a famous charge called Pickett's Charge.
And basically, Pickett lost his entire battalion because they just ran down the...
Because a lot of war is flanking, outflanking.
It's like a chess game.
Very rarely is it just somebody ramming it down the middle and just running like fucking
savage wild maniacs towards enemy fire.
But Pickett's charge.
They call the move the old Emmett Smith.
Fucking barrel him over.
Head down.
Boom.
Refrigerator Perry.
So why Pickett did that was because he felt if he could even just get, I think he started
charging with 100 men.
That was just a random number.
I mean, we don't fact check.
I mean, I just threw a number.
There's a lot of guys out there.
A hundo sounds good.
A hundo sounds, listen, you weren't there.
Maybe you heard on Google.
Maybe you can Google right now
and find out that it wasn't 100 men,
but you weren't fucking there.
I'm going to say it was 100 men.
I was there.
I fucking stepped in Giannis' piss on the battlefield.
So Pickett, why he did that is
he knew that he was going to die.
Most of his men were going to die, but he
felt it would break
the Union's morale to see these
Confederate soldiers running full speed
ahead and scare the Union army and
also build up the morale of the Confederates
behind Pickett to also
want to advance. Long story short, everybody
got killed in Pickett's charge. Nobody in the
Confederate army would want to do that because
it was a suicide mission.
And the Union just won the Battle of Gainsbourg. They got fucked up.
Yeah.
They got mowed down by those pellets.
Yeah.
Those canisters.
Those fucking smaller canisters.
They just sprayed them.
It was gross.
They said that the whole line would just, you could see the line moving forward just
disappear as it just got sprayed down.
Because we had the higher ground.
We had the higher ground in Pickett's Charge.
All war is about is the higher ground.
Yeah. Especially in that time. Who's got the higher ground? Pickett's Charge. All war is about is the higher ground, especially in that time.
Who's got the higher ground?
And it's easier to fight on the defense than the offense.
It's all defense.
Defense wins championships.
Defense wins wars.
Defense is just easier because if you're charging, you've got to take lead.
You're going to choose some lead if you're coming forward.
You're going to choose some lead, and it's exhausting.
I mean, you know, to run, you just walked from Massachusetts to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, and now you've got to charge at these Confederate nutjobs?
I mean, it ain't easy, cuz. You slept outside. I mean, what are you eating? Like, dry
beef jerky? Whatever crap they had that they were eating.
They were malnourished. They were tired. They were 16. A lot of them were 16, 17
years old. Wow. What I found out is in a lot of those long marches, they brought
dogs. Did they? They brought dogs with them.
You know me, I always sniff out the dog fats.
They brought dogs just as companion
animals for those long marches.
And a lot of the company's
regiments had mascots and they fucking loved those
mascots. Yeah, because, but if
they ran out of food, they would shoot and kill the dog
and eat the dog. Probably. Is that just what's going to happen? Probably, yeah.
But it's, yeah, but, yeah, it happens.
The dogs are true American. It's feeding the troops. I mean yeah it happens the dogs are true american it's
feeding feeding the troops i mean you know dogs are always used in war man and a lot of so they
also use in the civil war uh dogs were used to find the bodies sniff out bodies really yeah yeah
yeah because the dogs were so close to the regiment that he that dog only knew the regiment
dudes right so it would locate the bodies because it's going to sniff them out.
They still have service dogs.
Oh, yeah.
Dogs still go to Iraq and Afghanistan.
Hell, yeah.
They use the German Shepherds now.
Yeah.
They use all types of dogs.
But yeah, those dogs die with full military honors.
Of course.
I get goosebumps when I see those videos on YouTube
when they got a retiring police dog
or a retiring military dog
and all the cops line up
and they fucking salute this 13-year-old German Shepherd walk.
German Shepherd has no idea what's going on.
Someone's probably holding a goddamn beef jerky on the other end and telling him to
walk that way.
But the rest of them are treating him like a cop, and I think that's dope.
Yeah.
It's dope.
Fucking animals.
You know, and a lot of animals were killed in the Civil War because, you know, they were
fighting straight up on farms.
You had a lot of chickens getting killed, a lot of cows.
We saw a lot of cows in Pennsylvania. We did. I mean, the state of Pennsylvania's got a lot of chickens getting killed, a lot of cows. We saw a lot of cows in Pennsylvania.
I mean, the state of Pennsylvania has got a lot of fucking beef.
Got a lot of beef.
I'm trying not to eat red meat, though, anymore, because he was.
Yeah, and sometimes, here's the thing.
A lot of what Sherman did was dirty tactics.
General Sherman from the Union Army, and he's famous for Sherman's march to the sea.
That's right.
He burned everything in his wake, and he killed all the livestock.
They commandeered all the livestock for their own soldiers, and they really did, you know,
they kind of broke the rules of war because they kind of, they attacked civilians, burned
civilian homes, burned the farms, because their whole strategy was, let's really break the back of the South and take away their supplies.
So when they marched through, it's such a tactic of war that's used over and over again.
You see, the Russians did the same thing when Hitler invaded.
The Russians burned their own fucking farms and retreated, so there would be no supplies for them to commandeer and use on their own when they got up there.
What's the only city he didn't burn, Sherman?
He didn't burn Savannah, Georgia.
Savannah, Georgia.
Beautiful, beautiful town.
He said it was fucking gorgeous.
Beautiful town.
We want to come down there because he wanted to do a show in Savannah, Georgia.
Listen to me.
The next part of this podcast is going to be dope.
We went to Harper's Ferry, West Virginia that we got to talk about and the Battle of Antietam,
which was the single bloodiest day in American history still to this day.
So the only way to get the second half of this podcast is go to patreon.com backslash
Bay Ridge Boys and join our Cuzzmunity.
For the first half, thank you for listening for free.
We appreciate it.
If you want to hear more, go see more videos of all the stuff that we just spoke about.
We got videos up on our Patreon page.
You got to sign up, patreon.com backslash Bay Ridge Boys.
Woo! ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.