History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 44 - THE CARTEL WAS WILD!!!

Episode Date: December 9, 2018

The History Hyenas talk about the cartel! We discuss there gruesome ways of killing how extensive there reach was and how they kill anyone who talks about themWant more Hyena content? Check out www.pa...treon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. Bad. That breaks the news. Make no mistake, it is a blessing that we live in such a comfortable and advanced world, but the downside to that is kids are born into a world and expect it to be easy and when things
Starting point is 00:00:54 aren't easy, they get mad and they complain, but make no mistake, they have it wrong because life's hard no matter what. Yes. And you should just be thankful for the easy moments. Yeah, because guess what? The truth is, and this is what it is,
Starting point is 00:01:09 there's 9 billion people in this world. It's not going to be easy for everybody. No. As a matter of fact, it's going to be harder for most. And guess who? And I hate to say it, but it's only going to be easy if you're white. Wei Chongxin. Right off the bat, we are ping-ponging way shong shing right at
Starting point is 00:01:29 that might be the quickest way john sheehan in history ahina's podcast history because that was like ronda rousey's eight second knockout yes that was a record-breaking way Zhang Jing. Speaking of white, today Chrissy Cackles is now Chrissy J. Crew because he's dressed white. I look like a spokesman for a bounty toilet paper. Your shirt does not match your guido head.
Starting point is 00:01:57 When I went into the store, because I was with the great Sal Balcano this weekend, doing shows in Columbus, Chicago, and Madison, Wisconsin, and Madison, Wisconsin. And we went shopping in Columbus. They have great stores there in Columbus. And I got a shirt that I normally wouldn't get because I'm the kind of kid I get my button downs from H&M or Target.
Starting point is 00:02:16 And I got a nice shirt that was $85. And it just feels good. It's a different thing. But I have to tell you, in the middle of our country, I could just say collectively, has got a lower IQ than the East Coast. It's just a fact. And it's what it is. I think the higher IQs are on the coast and the lower ones are in the middle of the country. Because a few of you people, I would say a few thousand of you people, are franks and bigs.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Also, you don't see a lot of people walking around because it's all suburban, but when you do see people, you really see them because they're hard to miss because they're fucking fat. Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:03:04 At Sal Vacano's shows, in Practical Joker's Fence, can we just be honest? That's why we're on the history hyenas because it's part history, more hyena. Wild! Do you think he picks venues that he knows has concrete floors just in case?
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yes! To make sure the venue stays intact? That's what it is. It also has to have handicap wheelchair accessibility. And there better be a Denny's within walking distance. Because there's a lot of scooters
Starting point is 00:03:32 that are in the front row. Yes. It's beautiful. It's seriously, it's actually truly like a beautiful thing to see like what Impractical Jokers and Sal's comedy has done for people because it really makes people feel better
Starting point is 00:03:45 about their lives. It's actually truly beautiful, but there's a lot of people that when we were there, they traveled from Columbus to Chicago to Wisconsin, and it's a nice thing, but it's one of those things
Starting point is 00:03:55 where Sal is such a nice guy that he will be murdered by one of his fans. It's going to happen. And it's just what it is. One day he's going to come home and his wife's going to be like, hi, Sal, and it's just going to be a fan with Sal's face on him because he murdered and skinned Sal.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Because Sal's such a nice guy. And it's just the fans. I mean, if you're traveling, if you're a grown adult traveling from city to city to city to see another grown adult do comedy, it's just a little weird. It is what it is. Sal truly makes me laugh really hard. Yeah. Off stage. Sal Volcano. When we're hanging out. Yeah. He fucking
Starting point is 00:04:33 cracks me up. He's one of the guys. He's such a funny kid. If you ever get a chance to like get in a room with Sal for an hour you will not stop laughing because of how committed he is to his bits. Yeah bits and how Sal's the kind of guy, like he actually reads, like how we take time, we'll be on the toilet, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:49 we'll read, you know, useless shit, meaningless shit on Instagram or whatever. Sal reads actual consumer reports for different products. Sal can tell you in depth what the best scissor is to get. It's unbelievable. And he got us presents. He both got us Playboy necklaces.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Beautiful, which is great. Thoughtful kid. Yeah, we love them. We wear them sometimes. Sal got me, there's this new underwear that's out. It's called Tommy John underwear. Oh yeah, everyone loves that shit. It's $35 a pair. Sal bought me a pair, just to sit on me. People go crazy over that Tommy John. Are they comfortable?
Starting point is 00:05:22 It really holds your piece nice, supposedly. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't sneak up It really holds your peace. Nice, supposedly. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't sneak up on you. It doesn't ride up on you. Yeah. If you're a heavy kid. Now, what about you? What about you?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Mike Mush is joining us again today. We got Mike Mush. We got James, the Jew or Hispanic, Maddern. Yeah. And of course, we got Jihadi with a body. Zach. Hello, Akbar. ISIS. Yeah. We got a full fucking house a body. Zack. Hello, Uncle. Isis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:45 We got a full fucking house of guys. Of cocks. And there's going to be a fucking rocking hot podcast after this with the funniest people around. Mike. Mike Suarez. Liz from the Comedy Cellar. And Noam doing Bobby's podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:58 You know what, dude, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a guest. If you want, it's going to be a fucking wild podcast right here on Riotcast. Yeah. Yeah. And the photographer chick. What's her name? What you want, it's going to be a fucking wild podcast right here on Riotcast. Yeah. Yeah. And the photographer chick.
Starting point is 00:06:07 What's her name? What's the photographer chick's name? Becky. And Becky. Becky. Yeah. Yeah. So that's all Riotcast shit.
Starting point is 00:06:13 So Mikey's in here now. Yeah. And it's going to be dope. And then, yeah, Dawg's here with you. Dawg, did your glue gun get any work this weekend or what? It took the weekend off. Anybody get glued up? I had options, but I've been fighting a cold.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Yeah. So I just, I went home, man. Do you just name your piece Elmer's? Because it's a glue up? I had options, but I've been fighting a cold. Yeah. So I went home, man. Do you just name your piece Elmer's? Because it's a glue gun? I will going forward. It's full of fucking Elmer's, baby. Now, James is one of the loudest. Have you noticed how loud he is, or is it just me?
Starting point is 00:06:35 James is not loud. Have you ever thought about it? Has there ever been something that's crossed your mind that he's loud? Has it ever hit you? Or are you saying you're a little Franks, but you're not Frank Sam Beans? I'm not Frank Sambis. Let me say this quickly. James is such a joy in my life and has been since 2008 that every time I see him, I just hear Christmas music playing in my head.
Starting point is 00:06:55 It doesn't matter what it is. I'm just hearing fucking jingle bells because I'm happy. First of all, when he says that I'm loud, he's always screaming it. So it's like, do you realize how loud you are? That's always what it is. And we were at a comedy club the other day, and it's loud. He's always screaming it. Yeah. So it's like, do you realize how loud you are? That's always what it is. And we were at a comedy club the other day and it's loud.
Starting point is 00:07:08 They're blasting music and a bunch of people are yenting about and I'm saying something excited. He's like, do you realize how loud you are? It's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:15 But you know what? You're built for entertainment and you're especially built for this era and radios and podcasts because your head is a made for headphones head. The way your head
Starting point is 00:07:22 comes up to a point, it's a one size fits all headphone head. And I just feel like the comes up to the point, it's a one-size-fits-all headphone head. I hate you so much. Why did I come back? You see how it's resting on the top point of the head? You've got to adjust because you've got a little baby head. My head, no headphones fit because they're too big, so I just go headphone-less.
Starting point is 00:07:35 But you're perfect. I've got a good helmet. You have to have that haircut for the rest of your life. Yeah. Because if you grew hair, it would create, you would look like you have two heads. Yeah. It would just be too much volume above your life. Yeah. Because if you grew hair, it would create you would look like you have two heads. Yeah. It would just be too much volume above your shoulders. Yeah, and I'm a kid. I better keep my hair for a long time.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Look, when you Fred Flintstone out, maybe you could grow your hair because your body mat, you're gonna be fucking big. Yeah. And it's gonna get ugly. Yeah, because the way you walk now, you walk like you're lugging around something in a backpack. Yeah. And it's going to get ugly. The way you walk now, you walk like you're lugging around something
Starting point is 00:08:07 in a backpack. Yeah. And when you are really lugging something around, which is a lot of extra weight, you're going to leave the planet early. You think I am? Without a doubt. We have to get a Hey Bert button. Ready? Here it is. Hey Bert. So you sample that. Hey Bert.
Starting point is 00:08:24 So that way, anytime Mad Dog's in here and he speaks, just hit the Hey, Bert button. Or anytime we talk about Dog, if we did something to a neighbor and he can't be with us, go, Hey, Bert. Hey, Bert. Yeah. Oh, hey, Bert. I hate you. So anyway, tell us about...
Starting point is 00:08:36 What'd that asshole say? What the fuck was that? 833. Because it sounded like a chicken fart. Yeah. You're going to shit your pants. It's what it is. Yeah, you're going to shit your pants.
Starting point is 00:08:50 You keep doing that, man. Yeah. So we have a lot of funny comments. There's comments coming all over. People have been letting us know that they are trying to recommend the podcast to friends. Yeah. And they have experienced some resistance. Some resistance.
Starting point is 00:09:04 And also, that's funny and also real quick i want to say there's been a couple of people have said that their patreon hasn't updated since early november and the reason is because you probably haven't paid your money happy hanukkah you know who you are thank you thank you thank you see fucking he is just ready when you talk down james said when we came here, he said, what are the chances you think Chris is going to say something racial? I said, have you been listening to our podcast? The chances are 100%.
Starting point is 00:09:32 But it's a safe space to do it because our fans are wild and there's no malice behind it. I'm just kidding. I love all racist religions. I have kids from every fucking corner of the world. Every corner. So here we go. Oh, Bubbas.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Listen to this Greek name. Nicodemus Papadopoulos. Holy shit. Papadopoulos. That's fucking Greek. Nicodemus Papadopoulos. This guy's coming olive oil. Yeah, he's, I mean, that's his Greek.
Starting point is 00:10:00 I mean, that kid. It can't get any Greek-er than that. That kid has to have his eyebrows threaded every two days. Yeah. That kid, unfortunately, has to do what his father and mother tell him to do. 100% this kid works at his dad's business, whatever it is. It's whatever business this guy, he can't do anything else. 100% this kid travels with his family to events, and they're all through the church.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Yes, 100%. That's what it is. Yeah. And the kind of girls he brings home have to be a little specific. Greek. Yeah. They have to be Greek. Just like when Delilah brings home a guy, it's got to be specific that he knows who
Starting point is 00:10:41 or where what? John Lennon is. What? He's got to know who John Lennon is. My daughter, she's going to have to have the kind of boyfriend who doesn't think pit bulls are nice dogs. Wait, so she doesn't want to pet pit bulls?
Starting point is 00:11:01 Oh, man. A dog who doesn't think pit bulls are nice dogs? I mean, who does? White people love pit bulls. No, Oh, man. A dog who doesn't think pitbulls are a nice dog? I mean, who does? No, no. White people love pitbulls. No, no, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:09 But white people won't have them in their house. A white people will. Yeah. Well, I'm not talking about white people. I'm just talking about what I want my daughter's boyfriend to act to. I'm just going to give you one. Yeah, just clear the whole palette. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Okay. So Nicodemus, the fucking Greekest kid of all time. Is this the Greekest kid of all time? He's modern day Socrates. I mean, this kid, he's been probably franks and beans Greek by how Greek his Greek is family. 100%. He's got the kind of, just by his name, I could tell that he loves Panos.
Starting point is 00:11:37 His family does not. Right. They're offended by Panos. He's got the type of name that if his family found out he was listening to this podcast, they would honor kill his sister. Let's make no mistake. It's just daughters get a raw deal. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:50 His daughter. This guy's sister still has not left the house. No. She lives in the attic, and that's what it is. His last name is so Greek, you had to say it twice. That's how difficult it was. Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos.
Starting point is 00:12:03 A Greek name usually doesn't trip up Giannis. Wow. Nicodem. Papadopoulos. Papadopoulos. A Greek name usually doesn't strip up Giannis. Wow. Nicodemus Papadopoulos. Okay, so he says, Showed my girlfriend the pod. Your Greek girlfriend, as we know. You showed Athena the pod. Yeah, you showed Athena the pod.
Starting point is 00:12:18 And he says, Make no mistake, I was extremely scared to show my girlfriend the pod because you guys are just some gross kids who fart in mics. But I did it anyway because the new episode just came out and I had no choice but to listen to it regardless of who was in my car. And at that very second, and she ended up loving it and is currently listening to every episode. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:12:40 Thank you, Athena! Athena! And then Nate Seaman, he's a big fan. He wants to do our designs. He came up with something funny. He says, has anyone emailed the simulators at Patreon to see if we can get our page renamed to Matreon? That's a great idea. In honor of the matriarchy, smash the Patreon hashtag.
Starting point is 00:13:03 All right. Well, we're going to start calling it the Matreon now in honor of Mr. Seaman. Yeah, I like that. The Matreon. Yeah, Se the Patreon hashtag. All right. Well, we're going to start calling it the Matriarch now in honor of Mr. Seaman. Yeah, I like that. The Matriarch. Yeah, Seaman is great. And the fans have come up with some of our best nicknames. The Matriarch and Jihadi with a body. Yeah, who was it?
Starting point is 00:13:13 Who came up with that? A fan came up with that. Yeah, he did. It was like some guy named Glenn or something. Yeah, Jihadi with a body. Yeah, I actually stole it and sent it on Comedy Central. Yeah. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:13:22 That's what it is. So then we got our first round draft pick, Clay Anthony. Oh, big gig. Clay's what it is. That's what it is. So then we got our first round draft pick, Clay Anthony. Oh, big gig. Clay Anthony's number one. He's going to the Knicks or the Bucs. Yeah. He goes, make no mistake. Clay Anthony's a guy who, I don't know if he could date my daughter. Wei Chongxin.
Starting point is 00:13:37 He says, make no mistake, I'd give more money every month because this is my favorite podcast, but not if it's paying for the muzzy to control the soundboard. Wei Zhongxin! Wei Zhongxin! Clay, baby, yes! Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:53 So there you go. Clay Anthony coming with a good one. So these are positives. Yeah, these are positives. Then we got Layla. A couple of neggies. Wow. We got Layla Solak Sabusi.
Starting point is 00:14:04 That's a phone number. What kind of name is that? Turkish Delight. She goes, I'm surprised Giannis didn't get any Turk tingles in his balls. That's another good one. Yeah, Turk tingles. Whenever you're around a Turk, you should be able to sense it with Turk tingles. With Turk tingles.
Starting point is 00:14:19 In your balls. You're 20% Turk. It's what it is. I'm 26% Turkish. That came back. I didn't know that. That came back. Gross. I didn't know that. Yeah, well, that's why we wanted on this podcast, we want to do... And we have to do it on this podcast, James, please.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I refuse to do it. How about this? What if he comes back 100% hatebird? How about this? How about this? I got an idea. That is my race. I'm going wild, but just say yes. You let us do it on this podcast. Do it, results. We're going to pay one month of your rent, Trio. We're going to give you a month. Yeah. You let us do it on this podcast. Do it results. We're going to pay one month of your rent for you. We're going to give you a month.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah, I like that. On that case. We're going to pay it. Seriously. I don't mind that. So what are you guys doing next Monday? I don't mind. If you spin it and you let us read the results, one month of your rent is on us.
Starting point is 00:14:56 And you know what? If you will give us a picture of your glue gun. Three months utilities. Fully charged up. We're going to put it on. We're going to. How about this? We'll have a picture of James' glue gun when our Patreon reaches what?
Starting point is 00:15:10 1,000? No, I'm not putting my penis on the goddamn Patreon. No, listen. No, 10 people? People are fucking curious about your penis. No, dog, listen to me. Yeah, I'm not putting my dick out there. Why are you going to pay me for that?
Starting point is 00:15:19 A whole year? 5,000. If we get to 5,000 Patreon members, a.k.a. Matreon members. Look at that face right there That is the face that someone should make You don't have to put your naked glue gun But if you could just give us
Starting point is 00:15:30 You could just get We'll get it in tight I want to see his piece Get your glue gun there Yeah Get your glue gun there If you can do that If you can do that
Starting point is 00:15:39 I'm willing I'm willing to pay 4 months of your rent What is that? 4 months to see the glue gun? Yeah 5,000 Patreons in. We'll use the Patreon money. You're fucking wild.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Yeah. Wild. Because you cannot afford to pay four months of his rent. You have three babies, mamas to pay for. Yeah. If we get to 10,000 Patreons, I'm going to put your glue gun in my mouth. Chrissy Sammons. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Guys, we got a lot of messages about you. What is the female circulation of this podcast? We got some girls. We got a lot of girls. We got a lot of cultural diversity. Did you see the last cutie with smoothies on Instagram? What if the Turkish girl... I've been saying this for a while for your wedding.
Starting point is 00:16:19 I would love to bring a Turkish date to your wedding. So if I could get a Turkish date off this... If you're a Turkish girl with proven Turkish ancestry, and you're listening to the podcast, and you're a member of the matriarchy, and you want to be James' date to Yanis' wedding, we're going to think of a good gift for you. But first, you've got to message us and prove that you're Turkish, and then we'll come up with the idea. Yeah, how do they prove it, everybody?
Starting point is 00:16:46 Well, they've got to do Ancestry.com. Ancestry.com. If they're Turkish? Yeah. It's 20 bucks. If they come around and I get Turk tingles. If he gets TT'd. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:54 If I get TT'd. Okay. Hallie Romeo. Oh, Romeo. I think we said she's a piece. Yeah. You have to say it, because my girl told me to stop calling girls pieces on the podcast. Okay, yeah, sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:06 You can. Rosado's a piece, too, and she's one who said that she hasn't paid for the podcast. Well, Holly Romano says Asians are not safe, and she says, Here to say I upgraded my pledge yet again because I just can't get enough of this fucking matriarch. But for the love of God, she says, sorry, Zach Ice's face, if you guys don't guess my ethnicity this time to pronounce
Starting point is 00:17:32 my name correctly after I phonetically spelled it before I might get steel pipe Chrissy on your asses and make no mistake, even though I did comment my ethnicity before Giannis does have early onset, so it's like, yeah, it was never even
Starting point is 00:17:48 mentioned, yeah, this girl's Frank Zambini. Frank Zambini. That's a lot of run-on sentences. Romeo? Romeo? I'm gonna guess that you are Romanian, is my guess. Yeah, I'm gonna guess that Holly Romeo, I'm gonna guess she's a piece. I'm gonna guess
Starting point is 00:18:03 it's Mexican. I'm gonna guess Mexican. Romeo. Yeah, I'm gonna guess Mexican she's... She's a piece. I'm going to guess... It's Mexican. I'm going to guess Mexican. Romeo. Yeah, I'm going to guess Mexican. See? Because Mexicans know Mexicans. Or I grew up with Romeros, and they were Mexicans. Or you got the Mexican tingles. I got the tings.
Starting point is 00:18:14 All right. And then we got Deanna Durazo. She says, I'll have you know I recommended this episode, Catholics vs. Protestants, to someone I met on Bumble, who's also a former recovering Catholic. And make no mistake, he thought it was wild and kind of offensive. Needless to say, I won't be seeing him anytime soon. So thanks, cuzzy wuzzies, for helping me weed out all the cucks. I don't need to date.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Yeah. If you want to date, just DM at Chris D Comedy. I'm a Catholic. Yeah, there you go. And by the way, Haley Romeo, R-O-M-E-U, I like to change it.
Starting point is 00:18:51 She's Puerto Rican. I think she's Puerto Rican. I'm sticking with Mexican. I think Romeo's Puerto Rican. It's something Spanish. It's something Latina. By the way, real quick,
Starting point is 00:19:01 Nicole Rosati, who's a piece, she's the one that said her Patreon hasn't updated since November 8th. So I don't know what the problem is. We can definitely take a look into it, but it may be because you have an up... Maybe something with your pledge.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Check your credit card. And for you people trying to erase your Patreons and then restart them to save money, fuck you! No, yeah! You're stealing! Yeah, and I'm gonna shit in a bag of light on fire and throw it at your front door. And Courtney says, yes, I'm about to complain because unfortunately I'm a white girl who wants to speak to the manager.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Yes. I'm a white girl who wants to speak to the manager. She says, either I'm the one matriarch that got cut out of Jihadi with a body shit recording or you all forgot to mention me on the podcast. My name's a great guessing game for Giannis, and I was real excited to hear him guess my ethnicity wrong. I love how even these girls are ending it with yeah in caps. So, Courtney, did we have her on the list? No. Is her name just Courtney?
Starting point is 00:20:01 We need to know your full name. Courtney, what's her last name? I don't know. Let's see what the comments are No apologies I don't know Anyway, that's Courtney And so that's it
Starting point is 00:20:16 We got some great comments Keep commenting We'll read them on here Keep commenting on our Patreon community board And we'll Obviously like I just read We'll read them on here. Keep commenting on our Patreon community board. And we'll obviously, like I just read the wild comments, we'll fucking read the wild comments. We'll do it. We'll fucking get wild. Why not?
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. Today, you want to talk about the Sinaloan cartel? Of course I do. Yeah. Do you? Yeah, because- What do you want to do? Well, here's why I want to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:20:40 So I said this on the podcast, too, last week, I think. I've been watching- I've watched all the seasons of Narcos. I love Narcos. I think there's just, I mean, it's fucking great. It's great and it's all great stories that are based in history and reality and they're real, which I love. And there's so many fucking
Starting point is 00:20:57 pieces on that show. I mean, you can watch that show every episode, you can just crank it to another Spanish piece. I mean, they're so hot. The women that they cast in that show are wild. And I was watching Narcos Mexico, and I have to be honest with you. The first four episodes, I just didn't like. I was vocal about it. I was telling people, don't waste your time.
Starting point is 00:21:16 The show sucks. But then you were telling people that in all your group chats. How many group chats are you presently in right now? Truthfully? Yeah. Six. You're in six group chats. There's times where I won't look at my phone while we're doing the podcast. all your group chats. How many group chats are you presently in right now? Truthfully? Yeah. Six. You're in six group chats.
Starting point is 00:21:26 There's times where I won't look at my phone while we're doing the podcast. I'll have 150 unread messages and I'll read and reply to all of them while I'm driving. Wild. Group chats is like, that's millennials. That's the big thing, group chats.
Starting point is 00:21:39 That's why we're tired all the time and need so much coffee. Our brains are exhausted from all this information. Right? That's got to be true. That's a real young person's game, group chats. To be honest with you, I have all my group chats
Starting point is 00:21:50 on Do Not Disturb now, so I check them periodically. I don't care if I respond to all of them. Are group chats getting big, though? Is that the thing? You're in a group chat or out of a group chat? Bro, Paddy Fly Balls is in a group chat with 20 guys. He's one of 20 in the group chat.
Starting point is 00:22:05 And what do they do? They talk chat with 20 guys. He's one of 20 in the group chat. So it's like, what do you... And what do they do? They talk about the Mets. It's nothing. Yeah, or they send you... Who's the person who sends you those crazy fucking... Who sends me those? Those crazy videos.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Those are usually on the group chats from Debo, Patty Fly Balls, or Chris the Worm. Yeah. You mean the videos will start with like a koala bear and then it's like an arm up someone's ass? Yes. Adam Glinsman said to me, he sent me that good one of that transgender woman
Starting point is 00:22:33 that is very tricky. And the dick just comes out because at first I was starting to get a little chubbed up. Yeah, she looks like an absolute feminine piece and then she turns around
Starting point is 00:22:41 and she's got a glue gun. Yes. Oh, I saw that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Adam Glinsman just sends them to me. Good kid, Adam Glynn. Good kid. The last four episodes, the last four episodes of Narcos Mexico are like the best television
Starting point is 00:22:53 I've ever seen. So much to the point where I was like, we got to do an episode on the Sinaloan cartel because those guys are fucking wild. The brutality makes hyena brutality look tame and civilized. Yeah. I mean, El Chapo, who's like very famous right now, was like, you know, he was like, he's like the most recent leader of the cartel. But I mean, you know, back in the 70s and 80s, when shit was going down, El Chapo was
Starting point is 00:23:19 just the main guy's driver. Yeah. He was just the main dude's fucking driver. With ambition. Yeah. With ambition. And it's like the thing is... Because with that mustache doesn't he just look like a math teacher, a
Starting point is 00:23:30 computer teacher in the early 90s? He does. Yeah. Yeah. Chapo, yeah. He looks like a public school computer teacher. The thing is, like, with these cartels and like with these drugs, I didn't realize like so much of what happens, like the drug problem in America, all of it is because of Mexico.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Yeah. So it's because of- We need to build a wall! Build a wall! Yeah, no, no. But like we were saying before, after you watch a show like Narcos Mexico, you can see why a city like San Diego is an extremely conservative city. Yes. And why those border towns, like, yeah, we want the wall built.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Nobody's devaluing the Mexican lives. those border towns like, yeah, we want the wall built. Nobody's devaluing the Mexican lives. Nobody thinks, I mean, there are certain stupid people that think Mexican people aren't as capable as people from the United States, and that's just foolish and stupid. But the truth of the matter is, they've got a huge problem in Mexico
Starting point is 00:24:15 that they don't want to spill into America. You know, there's murders that happen right on the other side of the border within easy visual sight of American border patrols. Mass executions with AK-47s on the Mexican highways that the U.S. Customs agents can see from San Diego or from Laredo, wherever. War is Mexico.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Tijuana, that's where a lot of the drugs come in. We're talking about just tons and tons of fucking drugs come in through there. So, of course, San Diego is going to be conservative on that issue. The whole crack cocaine epidemic that's going on still to this day in Chicago is directly from the cartel. That's who supplies it. So it's not their fault. I mean, there's a lot of channels, but it's like, you know, I get it. It's such an interesting, fascinating
Starting point is 00:25:08 thing. Because the brutality is on a level you can't, the brutality is hard, it's hard to believe that that is happening in the Western Hemisphere. It's worse than horror movies. It's the worst brutality. You know, they kidnap,
Starting point is 00:25:24 you know, it's just murder. They dissolve bodies. They disappear people. They decapitate people. They do decapitated videos just like your relatives. It's like saxophone. I mean,
Starting point is 00:25:39 not even if you've done anything, if you know someone who's done something, they'll murder your family, they'll murder your wife. I mean, the brutality's on, and they act with impunity because they have so many police officers on the payroll.
Starting point is 00:25:58 And if you want to know how much power the Sinaloan cartel or like the Zetas have, and they're at war. These drug cartels are at war. Oh, they are, right. Yeah. If you want to know how much power they have, all you got to do is look at the photographs when they capture like guys in the cartel. All the officers are fucking wearing face masks because they're petrified to show their
Starting point is 00:26:23 face because they don't want anything to happen to their families that is how much power can you imagine that can you imagine if our cops had to hide their faces when they when they captured people that lets you know who's in charge right there yeah i mean it's like you know it's not the police the problem the problems that we have the problems that we have with our police are obviously profound, too, and all that sucks. But the problem that they have in Mexico, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's not going to be some fucking cop that innocently beats up some kid and it's caught on video.
Starting point is 00:26:54 It's going to be like some cop allowed this cartel to cut everybody's heads off and put them on their front lawn. Yeah. But here's the question, though. It's one of those things where it's like, what do you want these Mexican people to do? If the cartel is going to come and say, we're going to make change your life, you're a farmer now, you can't even feed your kids, if you just make these deliveries for me, if you just do this or that for me, I mean, what would you do?
Starting point is 00:27:15 I would probably do it. I can understand. I mean, look at it, dude. You have to say it with that choice. El Chapo, he's like the Jeff Bezos of Mexico. Yeah. I mean, it's like, that's the cash crop. I mean, you look at... He was going to open up in Long Islandzos of Mexico. Yeah. I mean, it's like that's the cash crop. I mean, like, you look at...
Starting point is 00:27:27 He was going to open up in Long Island City, too. Yeah, Pablo Escobar. I mean, these guys, they were like the Jeff Bezos. I mean, we're talking about a $10 billion industry. You're talking about a multi-billion dollar industry. You're talking about El Chapo at one point was the 10th richest man in all of Mexico. No, all of the world probably. No, Mexico.
Starting point is 00:27:48 There's some rich people in Mexico. Yeah, right? It's a whole country. Yeah. But number 10, top 10, is a drug dealer? Yeah. That's how much money the government knew about, though. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:28:03 That's actually a great point. Could have been more. He could be by far the richest. Yeah. Absolutely. Especially with all the front companies he has, with all the money that's laundering through... The bank.
Starting point is 00:28:13 What bank is it? There's TD. There's a U.S. bank. It's a Netflix thing. Dirty Money. There's an episode about it. I want to say TD, but I don't want to be wrong, but it's one of the major banks.
Starting point is 00:28:24 They encourage you not to put your money there it i want to say td but i don't want to be wrong but it's one of the major banks is at they they like encourage you not to put your money there because they know it's cartel money right and that people are getting their heads struck like this is how hardcore they are you talk about how like vicious they are they uh kill politicians yeah in mexico yeah politicians will go like if you go hey i'm running uh elect me this year yeah'm going to get rid of the drug dealers or I'm going to do this. You might lose a hand or a head. Yeah. Like, that's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Well, that's, but yeah, but see, but that's what I want to get to and talk about why the Mexican drug cartel is, I think, the most wild, but then I'm going to ruin Narcos Mexico for you. You're still watching episodes. It's okay. Are you sure? Yeah, it's okay. Because you should know what happens anyway.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Yeah. But we are lucky for this episode to have a Mexican kid from Texas sitting right here. What have you done to get in this country? Let me see your papers. I didn't even realize you were here, you fucking useless eater. Can we see your papers, please? Yeah, no, I'm kidding. So you know about this?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Yeah, I have uncles in the Border Patrol. Uncles in the Border Patrol. Do you feel as Americans their lives are ever in danger or the cartel would never cross to hurt an American agent? I know it does happen because fucking Cuck Fates doesn't want me to say it. He hasn't finished Narcos Mexico. I have an older uncle who died of a heart attack. He was probably in danger during his career because he was out there.
Starting point is 00:29:49 So you think he actually died of a heart attack? Oh, yeah, he was fat as shit. My other uncles are more doing other kind of stuff. They'll do the door drilling. So they're not really, after the cartel, one of the delivery people. But the border patrol, even if they go on the, after the cartels, one of the delivery people. But like the border patrol, they're not like, even if they go on the border and the cartel guys are there, they're never going to kill a U.S. border patrol
Starting point is 00:30:11 agent. If they did, it would be front page news. And they got a lot of... They would in the right situations. They are in danger. They have to worry. The best tool, you could have a couple of corrupt border patrol. Yeah, that too. That does happen. Do the Mexicans talk like that in Texas and California?
Starting point is 00:30:28 Only the fun ones. The fun ones, man. Like, my family is coming from Mexico and his name is James Matter. Only half a cousin. Because you got a face that looks like it's from Tijuana. Now, Mexican and Mexican,
Starting point is 00:30:43 are you saying, because we don't know, I don't know, he was here, he wasn't here. He wasn't. Mike Mush was here, because we don't know. I don't know. He wasn't here. He wasn't. Mike Mush wasn't here. Flores wasn't here. No.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Okay, so here's the deal. Real quick, because the matriarch knows about it. James, I love saying it, too, because it's funny to me. James Matters' mom was a toot. He loves saying it out loud. He was a toot. He just can't say it enough. A professional toot, like an actual toot.
Starting point is 00:31:03 In Vegas. Yeah. High-end toot. Probably was a piece. He asked me on the drive-in, hey, out of nowhere, was your mom a... We're talking about how I get sad on the holidays. I love the build-up. He's like, if Christmas had a vagina,
Starting point is 00:31:16 I would fucking be up in it. I love Christmas. I want to fuck Christmas as well. Let's be honest. No, let's be honest. If Chris had a post-op fucking vagina. Post-op piece. Not even post-op fucking vagina. Post-op pee. Not even post-op.
Starting point is 00:31:28 I just wish it had a piece and titties. Yes. A tranny. Trans Christmas. And I tell him how I like. I told him I wanted to fuck Christmas. And I asked if his mom was a toot. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:37 I don't know if his mom was a piece. His mom was a piece. I read you she was a toot. I like the buildup to Christmas. And then the day of, like most holidays other than Halloween, the day of I get sad. I go, why? Because the memories? I go, no, memories are good.
Starting point is 00:31:48 And then out of nowhere, quick pivot. Was your mom a piece? Like, this makes no sense. I mean, if she was a toot, she had to have been kind of a piece. And James is a good looking kid. James gets a lot of toots. Yeah, James gets a lot. James has banged a couple of girls you've heard of.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah, but James. James has banged a few broads. Yeah, but James has now decided that sweatpants is his new look. And he asked me what I thought. I said, well, it looks like you're doing chores on a Sunday. Yeah. Or that's your look. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:32:16 It looks. I got to be honest. You're wearing the official uniform of Sunset Park. If you know what that means, Google it. Yeah. And the Weishangxian. And the We shang tian thank you thank you saturday night we're at a diner and the the server was uh probably mexican or central american i mean i would say 100 mexican and yannis turns to me and goes uh i think she's she knows you're mexican because like she filled my water first and always looked at me first and asked me questions.
Starting point is 00:32:45 She's like, she knows it's Mexican on Mexico. She's your aunt. She's your aunt. She was like 21. That's your aunt. I do not want to go into a restaurant that does not have Mexicans handling it. Nobody. I just don't want to deal.
Starting point is 00:32:58 It is what it is. I don't want to. I had a Russian waiter on Sunday for brunch, me and Brittany. He fucked up the order. I just want a Mexican because nobody's as good. Nobody does it better. With any job. If a Mexican shows up to do any job, whether it be food, building something, driving, they will do it correctly.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Now, off-duty Mexicans is another thing because they get drunk and they can get a little dangerous. But when they're on duty with their jobs, Mexicans are the best workers that Americans have to offer. It's 100% the illegals. The best Italian restaurant right now in Bay Ridge owned by Mexicans. Absolutely. Picante. Picante. It was three Mexican guys that were working in other Italian restaurants. They combined forces to make a super Mexican.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And the super Mexican opened up picante and it is the best food in Bay Ridge. I agree with you. They're so good. And if you put them all on their, one on top of each other, on their shoulders, they would be about my height, maybe a little shorter. They're like Mexican Voltron
Starting point is 00:34:05 Yeah Yeah It's what it is So Suarez We don't know If James James' father definitely
Starting point is 00:34:14 Paid to fuck his mom We don't know for a fact She dated some Jewish dudes And she had a Mexican boyfriend In Mexico And we don't know We think he could've been Mexican I've seen a picture of him
Starting point is 00:34:24 His family believes it comes down to his father was either a Jew or a Mexican. Looking at his face, you being Mexican. But that could be anything. I could be a random John who didn't wear a helmet. You could be a Trudeau. You could be a Trudeau. I do have Prime Minister blood.
Starting point is 00:34:42 What do you think? We do know he's part Italian, German, but the other half is either... Well, we know it's because his grandma was a Nazi. His grandmother was a Nazi. Hitler Youth. Yeah, and she had no options for us. Stop fighting that. She helped coordinate...
Starting point is 00:34:56 Stop fighting that. She had no options. The truth is, because your grandmother knew she coordinated the bomb attack that killed your aunt's nieces and nephews at the border. It is? What is it? Just stop fighting the fact that your grandmother was an actual
Starting point is 00:35:09 Hitler youth. She would have been two of you there. I'm not going to wear the uniform when you're eight. Because when you look in the mirror, when I look at you, all I fucking see is success because your grandmother was a Nazi, your mother was a toot, and you fucking made it to Bay Ridge.
Starting point is 00:35:25 You're a fucking success story. I want you to write the foreword to my biography on that. So Suarez, what do you see when you look in his eyes? Do you see Mexican or Jews? You set this up like it's a game show. Jihadi's so
Starting point is 00:35:41 on point right now. Jihadi's great. I can't even tell he's a 23-year-old kid that knows nothing. When Jihadi's jacked point right now Jihadi's great I can't even tell he's a 23 year old kid that knows nothing When Jihadi's jacked he sucks When he just looks like a blubbering shit He's fucking great It is what it is He is doing so many steroids That's why his body's so inconsistent
Starting point is 00:35:57 Alright, what's the verdict? Well, you're tall and you can grow a full beard So that's kind of a false flag right there I'm 5'10 For a Mexican you're tall yeah that's NBA Mexican yeah but your eyes have very Hispanic qualities so I would say there is some Mexican in there yeah yeah I think the other test would see if you can dig for root vegetables with your hands yeah yeah yo Suarez took a swing and made contact Suarez, you're 100% Mexican, right?
Starting point is 00:36:27 Yeah So your family members are border patrol agents What's the climate down there in Texas? What part of Texas are you from? I'm from San Antonio, which is like in the middle Like an hour from Austin So is that the Sinaloa cartel's territory? Do we know what the Sinaloa cartel's territory is?
Starting point is 00:36:41 I think their territories are They have the triangle No, but that's in Mexico But I'm what the Sinaloa- I think their territories are- They have the triangle. There's a- No, but that's in Mexico, but I'm talking the United States where they supply the drugs. I think Chicago- I was reading on the-
Starting point is 00:36:51 I was listening to the news and they said El Chapo's directly responsible, his cartel, for the drug problem in Chicago. That may just be fucking media blaming it on him, but when I did the research,
Starting point is 00:37:00 that's what they said. Well, it's- They provide 80%. They supply 80% of the heroin, cocaine, marijuana, methamphetamine flowing into Chicago each year. You are correct, sir. Yes. We're not going to know which cartel it's from. It's like you don't know what supplier goes to Walmart. You just get your drugs from the guy in the corner.
Starting point is 00:37:21 But from Chicago, it goes west to Los Angeles. It goes east to New York, Philly, D.C., Cincinnati, Columbus, and up into Vancouver. So it flows through Chicago. Now, see, I just also think, though, I'm one of these guys that I believe that drugs, drug addictions and drug problems is not a prison problem and a law enforcement issue. It's a health issue. So I think a lot of these problems happen,
Starting point is 00:37:46 all this murder and violence, because the law enforcement's involved. Portugal, do you guys know that Portugal, you're allowed to do drugs in Portugal. You can do drugs. Everything. Everything. But if you do drugs in Portugal,
Starting point is 00:37:58 first of all, if you drive a drug overdose, you're like, you know, I'm sorry that happens. But if you're like strung out, obviously if you're behind the wheel of a vehicle and you killed someone, now we, I'm sorry that happens. But if you're like strung out, obviously, if you're behind the wheel of a vehicle and you killed someone, now we're talking about a different thing. But if you're just on drugs, they will take you, the police take you to a clinic. That's where you, like as if you're taken to a hospital, if you had a heart attack on the street, you're taken to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:38:16 You are taken to a clinic in Portugal and their crime has decreased. Their crime is the lowest it's ever been in the past five years in Portugal. Well, to be specific, the use, they decriminalized the use of drugs, but they did not decriminalize the selling of drugs. So you can still be arrested for selling it. But you're not arrested for using it. Correct. They decriminalized the usage of drugs. They're not the only ones who've done that.
Starting point is 00:38:43 But if they're going to decriminalize the use, why not just decriminalize the usage of drugs. They're not the only ones who've done that. But if they're going to decriminalize the use, why not just decriminalize the sale of it, and then just, as a government, you have to just pay a tax, like it's just a job. It's just a storefront, and then you won't have people's heads in the streets. You're going to have people who are addicted to drugs, and it's like, that's the kind of person where
Starting point is 00:39:00 that happens. People get sick, people do drugs. But it's like, you're not going to have these cartels killing everybody if you just make things legal. I think it's just an egotistical thing by the government to say, it's no because we said no. Well, that's a point of contention. I mean, that's a point of contention.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You may have a point, you may not. I mean, I believe, personally, I believe obviously legalization of marijuana, obviously marijuana is not as dangerous as alcohol. Alcohol is more dangerous than fucking marijuana. But kids are fucking susceptible. You see how many kids are dying from heroin overdoses in the suburbs right now. Okay, you can't buy until they're 18, just like alcohol. No, but I'm saying, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Alcohol is dangerous, but it's not fucking as dangerous as opium, as heroin. It's not as addictive as those things. I understand that, but you're never going to stop. If you legalize it, it's just going to be everywhere. You're never going to stop heroin. You're not going to stop it. You're not going to stop murder either, but you're not going to make it legal, necessarily. Maybe, I don't know, I'm just bringing up the point.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Okay, so maybe opium, maybe opium's one but cocaine too cocaine's dangerous it's a dangerous drug yeah but it's like people are going to do it or they're not going to do it like even if heroin and cocaine were legal i still wouldn't never do it now that doesn't make me a better guy than anybody else but i didn't know because you did a cycle when you were young yeah i did not do it i did not do it i didn't not do it and your head got big and it stayed yeah i just did it because i didn't want to do it and most people don't want to do it there are a good amount of people who do want not do it. I didn't not do it. And your head got big and it stayed. Yeah, I just did it because I didn't want to do it. And most people don't want to do it. There are a good amount of people who do want to do it, but most people don't do it. So it's like decriminalizing these things, I think, makes it better.
Starting point is 00:40:35 It's not going to ever be decriminalized. But it's just like, I think it's safe to say that these people, the Mexican government, the U.S. government, they want this. It gives the law enforcement jobs. They could make it all better tomorrow. It's not going to happen. I don't know. You have to accept that. It's just not going to happen.
Starting point is 00:40:52 I don't know. It's an interesting point. And back to the original point of what makes this so fascinating is because it's so multifaceted. One of the most interesting facets being that the the demand is huge in america and so that's what causes yeah this competition between the cartels for the business because we got money in this country we got money and we love to get fucking high yeah and you know who most of the people are that like to get high in this country? Yeah. What? What?
Starting point is 00:41:25 Yeah, and you were a big part of it when you were party promoting, you were involved in that life, and you got shot in the leg. I got shot? You got shot almost in the ball sack. Yeah, but it had nothing to do with drugs. Yeah, but yeah,
Starting point is 00:41:38 no, it had nothing to do with drugs. Drug dealers at that club. You were in that area, and I'm sure that the guy who shot you, which I wish the bullet would have just went a little higher. And took off my pants? Yeah, took off your pants. Then I could have just lived my dream and turned it into the vagina that I always wanted.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Yeah! I just want to be the—when I think of myself as a girl, it turns me on. Really? I'm fucking Buffalo Bill. Yeah, you fucking jerk off to yourself as a girl. I'd fuck me. Would you fuck me? I think, but being around that lifestyle, of course, there's a lot of danger.
Starting point is 00:42:11 But I just feel like if you decriminalize these things, it just makes it better. Listen, rape, murder, these things are crimes that you can never decriminalize because it's crime. You're taking lives. You're hurting people. Doing drugs, it's just like, it doesn't have to be about the law. You're doing it to yourself unless you get in a vehicle. But if you're the parents of a kid who's on
Starting point is 00:42:31 heroin, you may look at it differently. Yeah, but listen, if my daughter ever decided to do heroin, I would try to do everything. You mean she's hanging out with people we told her not to hang out with? Yes! Just kidding, because usually he's doing heroin. I was going to say, it's honk-a-dox. I was going to say,
Starting point is 00:42:46 it's honk-a-dox. I would say what my whole thing would be if she decided to do that would be if you send her to prison, it's going to get worse. Now you're putting her
Starting point is 00:42:55 on all these addicts again. And you're learning, she's learning even worse strategies. Put her in a hospital. If she got behind the car and killed someone, then put her in jail. Well, that's, but jail well that's but I agree
Starting point is 00:43:07 if she's shooting up and she's falling over why are you putting her in fucking jail decriminalize the usage I agree with that 100% Portugal is a great
Starting point is 00:43:16 case study yeah for how that's beneficial for the reasons you said yeah but and I by the way
Starting point is 00:43:22 speaking of Portugal real quick when I'm in a good mood I do fucking crank a little bit to Cristianodo it's what it is he's a pretty man yeah yeah uh he got caught with a couple trans didn't he yeah or was that the other ronaldo dwight well dwight howard recently did and then the other ronaldo the first maybe yeah the the the first famous ronaldo brazil yeah he got caught in brazil that's gonna happen yeah i mean that's what it is, right?
Starting point is 00:43:45 When this podcast gets to the next level and we're selling our theaters and we get to a really big level, we got like a big show and everything, you will 100,000% satiate your need for toots, specifically transgender toots. And it's going to be a story on TMZ. And I'm just, I already have a statement prepared. It is what it is. It's just the truth. This is a wild podcast.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah, because yeah. That comment was really funny when she said, I tried to recommend the podcast, but the guy said it gave him a headache. Yeah, we give some people because are we it's not everybody's for everybody are we not a smart podcast i think i don't think that we're intentionally trying to be dumb or smart i think we're just being i think we're the kind of podcast where if you you maybe will learn something if we get to the history of it but i think you're just entertained if you want to take a step back from your life and just get an hour break, wear your
Starting point is 00:44:48 guys. And you may also learn something while you're kind of de-escalating from a long day at work or maybe just don't want to feel like you're being told anything, don't want to feel like you have to now go Google something. You just want to feel good. I think wear your guys. Yeah. something like you just want to feel good, I think we're your guys.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Yeah. I mean, so much of the drugs in the world is supplied by Mexico. By Mexico and South America, too, still. I mean, the global flow of cocaine. I'm looking at the map right now. It just flows from South and Central America to the rest of the world. I mean, that's like their cash crop, man. I mean, how do you blame them? It's simple supply and demand.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Like, what are you going to do? Somebody is always going to rise to fill that void. Like we mentioned El Chapo. Right. If you don't know, El Chapo's on trial. He was extradited to the United States. He's on trial right now in Brooklyn. He's going to go down.
Starting point is 00:45:50 But there's somebody else who's probably already filled his shoes. Of course. Just like when you knock out, you know, terrorism. Because terrorism is like, it's just an idea.
Starting point is 00:45:57 It's not like one person. Like when you cut, you know, back in the day, like if you cut the head off some fucking big leader, nobody could replace him or her because it's what it is. Now it's like, you know, nobody really cares. I mean, the cartels are loyal to El Chapo now and to these big drug dealers now when they're loyal to Escobar because that was the guy in charge.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Once that person's gone, the next guy pops up. That's why I'm saying it doesn't matter. You're never going to stop this problem. They're loyal to their next meal. Sure. So whoever can provide it. It's like, you're great now. Yeah. Oh, you're in the clink this problem they're loyal to their next meal sure so whoever can provide it it's like you're great now yeah oh you're in the clink hello next great one next great one yeah and it's like you're not gonna ever get rid of it i think the u.s government has some fucking fantasy that they think they can stop this when it's like portugal decriminalizing
Starting point is 00:46:40 uh drugs it's not them giving up on drugs and it's not them throwing in the towel and saying, oh, we lost. It's them making the smart choice because it's them caring about their people more than they care about their fucking prisons. Yeah, it's a humane thing to do. It looks at an addict more as a sickness than as a crime.
Starting point is 00:46:59 It's more humane. It's a real libertarian view too, right? I guess. No, but that's what it is. Yes. It's like, all right, so this is where we're going to get rid of the crime aspect by legalizing it. So now you'll go get it at 7-Eleven. The price will be controlled, so you won't deal with drug dealers. And you control your own destiny to go buy it.
Starting point is 00:47:19 If you want to do that, it's you. And also, here's the big libertarian. We get tax money out of it. Sure. So it's like a big win-win in that aspect. Absolutely. So, I mean, I don't know. You know, my mom was a junkie on top of being a tutor this year. Wait, what do you mean you get tax dollars out of it? So if it becomes legal,
Starting point is 00:47:33 you're going to get taxed. That's the whole thing. That's the whole reason why weed wasn't legal, is they couldn't tax it. They started taxing it now. Look at the boom. Oh, you're saying if, because, yeah. Yeah, if you legalize H... I thought you were saying it was a reality in Portugal. It's not... They're not taxing drugs. No, but here, it's like the libertarian view is if you legalize it, and if you were saying it was a reality in Portugal. They're not taxing drugs. No, but here, it's like the libertarian view is if you legalize it, and if I can go to 7-Eleven and get a Slurpee, a hot dog, and some H,
Starting point is 00:47:53 boy, that tax money. Think about that. That would be fucking great. Would that be a combo? Would fast food make those combo meals? KFC, two legs, two cookies, a Coke, and a syringe. Well, opium and heroin syringe you cannot legalize the distribution of drugs
Starting point is 00:48:08 there would be fucking drug addicts everywhere weed you can weed of course weed you can you can't do it with opium but weed should just be as legal
Starting point is 00:48:15 you should be able to buy weed next to beer well libertarians think it should all be legal just let it happen but you know they're just they believe in chaos
Starting point is 00:48:21 they're crazy yeah it's anarchy when I go home they think it'll all work itself out I don't necessarily not believe i don't necessarily i don't necessarily disagree with them because i believe what i believe too is yeah legalize it all and if you're a kind of person that that's what you need to do and you do it then you deal with the fucking consequences but those people end up doing bad things to get money for drugs well then we fucking arm ourselves
Starting point is 00:48:41 bad things to get money for drugs. Well, then we fucking arm ourselves. Build a wall. Comes back to the Second Amendment, right, baby? Steal Pipe Chrissy. Well, that's another facet we're going to talk about. But just to give people some history real quick, El Chapo, his name, El Chapo, it's a nickname. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:00 What does it mean, El Chapo? It means shorty. Oh, the shorty. Okay. It means shorty because, make no mistake, this kid is 5'6". That's even short for a Mexican, right? I think for a Mexican, it's pretty tall. About mid-range.
Starting point is 00:49:11 I mean, it's, you know, for a... He's a mid-range Mexican, everybody. Yeah, he became Mexico's top drug guy in, like, the early 2000s. And he, again, he filled a void that was left by OCL, Cardenas Guillen of the Gulf Cartel after his arrest. That was his rival cartel. Okay. They took them down and El Chapo came in.
Starting point is 00:49:37 And he's a 61-year-old kid, El Chapo. And he is he escaped from federal prison and there's not one frame of footage that shows the escape that lets you know
Starting point is 00:49:58 that who was involved how much the drug cartel runs Mexico to your point it's illegal but so maybe if, yeah, I mean, you make, we should try it. I mean, they run Mexico as it is. Listen, you're watching Narcos Mexico, and I don't think you knowing this information, because I knew this from the beginning, what was going to happen, because I knew the story. Kiki Camarena, who's Michael Peña's character in Narcos Mexico,
Starting point is 00:50:23 who's Michael Pena's character in Narcos Mexico, is going to be murdered by the Mexican cartel with the 100% knowledge of the Mexican government allowing it to happen. They drilled a hole in his fucking head while he was alive and murdered him. A DEA federal agent, the Mexican government, said okay and allowed it. So that's why I think the Mexican cartel is,
Starting point is 00:50:43 because even Pablo Escobar would not touch a U.S. agent. And this war on drugs that we have right now is a direct influence from that incident. They killed a DE agent and a government pilot for information, to try to get information about what they knew about some wiretaps. So they completely crossed the line, and now that's why we're still in this war. If that would have never happened, I don't know. There's probably a lot of shit America turns a blind eye to, because it really doesn't involve them. But when you kill the DA agent, now that's why I asked
Starting point is 00:51:14 you about, do Border Patrol, do they still feel unsafe? Yes. So you think a Mexican cartel still to this day will kill an agent? 100% they'll kill an agent. They'd probably buy a few off. If they're in the wrong situation yeah so if a d agent was in juarez right now which i'm sure there are they could get killed if they're there for the wrong reason yeah yeah like just existing and being just being on the street they
Starting point is 00:51:34 know that they're being surveilled they're not going to kill them because they know that's going to bring the heat right but if they're getting i mean not to sound you know but they're getting too close or they know something yeah they'll they'll fucking kill them. Yeah, yeah. They certainly buy off Border Patrol agents, too, probably. Probably. I mean, I don't know statistics on that. Michael does have a nice car. Mitt's got it.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Your uncle might be involved. I mean, they have to. That's the way they get it in. I mean, they just pay people off. They also transport cocaine from Colombia to Mexico. And then up to the US. Yeah. Because do Mexican people, do the Mexican public have a bigger drug problem as us?
Starting point is 00:52:16 Or is the answer no for the money? They don't. America is the number one consumer of drugs in the world. Right. We love to get fucking high well also okay yes that's okay one we have the money we also with proximity closest to mexico which which is which is capable of making all those drugs because of their terrain so i wonder if europe doesn't have as big a drug problem because i mean it's got to be a big deal i don't think the mexican
Starting point is 00:52:40 can the mexican drugs somehow get to europe yeah do. How do they get across the ocean? I guess just smuggled in on a boat or planes, whatever. That's the genius of the Similoa cartels that they also built up a shipping and transportation empire to facilitate their... Oh yeah, it's ingenious ways. They put it in tires, they put it in
Starting point is 00:53:00 fucking... They said, the one border patrol agent said that they'll put it in carburetors of engines. They'll put it in um like carburetors of engines like they'll put it like in the like you have to take apart the car to get it out well it's smart they laundered you know you got to launder your money as all the breaking bad fans know that now that became pop culture everyone knows when you got dirty money you got to launder it so you launder by opening uh you know legit businesses and hiding your money that way where you know you report less earnings so they what they did is they started shipping companies
Starting point is 00:53:27 and shipped other shit and then snuck the drugs in there. And let's just be honest. Yes, of course, plenty of people get caught. I'm sure people get caught smuggling drugs from Mexico into the U.S. every day. But let's be honest. Our border patrol, although I fucking support our troops, if they're anything like the TSA,
Starting point is 00:53:43 a lot of those guys just don't give a shit. They just don't. It's like if a dog was fucking barking and there's drugs there and I'm like, it's in the car break. I got to take the car apart. I'd just be like, just go. You could go in. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:53:54 They're not like that. They're better than TSA. Oh, they're better. Okay. Okay. So Border Patrol is real deal. They don't fuck around. They're like the Marines.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Yeah. You can't make jokes. If the dog reacts the wrong way, they'll search through your shit. They'll see what it was. They'll ask you questions. But I'm sure they get it in a lot. Mexicans get it in a lot, I'm sure, because they have all these genius ways. They do it the right way.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Yeah, they're shipping through the international waters. They hide it in certain things. And I think mostly, probably, just common sense would tell me people are paid off. This is the border crossing at the checkpoint. That's not like smuggling. That's just some guy with coke who's trying to get it in for himself. Because where are they doing the smuggling where there's no wall? Because how can there be borders?
Starting point is 00:54:38 Just geographically, I mean, there's 3,000 plus miles of lines. You can't have a U.S. agent there at every point. There's got to be miles where there's nothing. Yeah, there's miles where it's just like two guys in a truck going back and forth looking for shit. Yeah. And so inevitably, there's people. Are there like minefields there? Like, how does the U.S. prevent that?
Starting point is 00:54:59 Or that's how the drugs get in? That's how they get in. Well, a lot of the ways they get in. Yeah, a big way they get into is by air. They get in by air. Like they just fly a private plane. Yeah, that was a big thing
Starting point is 00:55:09 in the 70s, 80s, Koking Cowboys. 60s, 70s, Pedro Avelis Perez. He plays for the Mets? No. He was involved
Starting point is 00:55:17 in that Mariners trade. Canoa. Canoa, baby. Come to the fucking city. Back to the city. Pedro Avelis Perez. He founded the Sinaloa Cartel.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Is that the thin man? Is that the guy who's the thin man in Narcos, Mexico? Do we know? I don't know because I've only watched one episode. I think that is the guy. You'll see. Some wild shit's going to happen. But he was of the first generation of Mexican drug smugglers.
Starting point is 00:55:42 He used to be a cop, too. generation of Mexican drug smugglers. He used to be a cop, too. And he's the one who, he specifically is the one that pioneered the use of planes to bring in drugs. So it's because of him. Pedro Avelis Perez. Oh, these guys are not- These guys are not Franks and Beans.
Starting point is 00:55:59 These guys are not stupid at all. El Chapo is not a stupid man by any means. He's not fucking stupid. No, he's a smart fucking guy. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So the Sinaloa cartel operates in that triangle, right?
Starting point is 00:56:14 The Sinaloa, Durango, and Chihuahua. Yeah. Those three states. I guess they call it the triangle or the, I don't know what they, do they call that the triangle or am I just making that up? I don't know. they do they call that the triangle or the triangle i'm just making that up i don't know triangle yeah the triangle yeah hey you know what they do that's really smart you're talking about that like how smart they are i saw that they will send drugs to america right like everyone's doing coke they'll send samples of crystal meth because people are like buying recreational coke because they're making six
Starting point is 00:56:43 seven figures and then they'll give them like the drug dealers will give you hey try this too when that runs out and then people get hooked on meth which is not recreational right and they make rich meth heads like that's gene it's it's evil and horrible but it's absolutely genius yeah anytime you're praying on a person's vice it it's horrible. But in a capitalistic country, that's how people make money. Think of that, dude. Now, the Sinaloa cartel has been at constant war with the Tijuana cartel. Okay, they got beef. For access to the border city of San Diego, because Tijuana, of course, is right on the border with San Diego.
Starting point is 00:57:20 But where's Sinaloa? Is that like central Mexico, closer to Texas? Is Sinaloa close to Texas? I don't think so. No? Yeah. What's that like Central Mexico closer to Texas? Is Sinaloa close to Texas? What's by you? What's by Texas? It's Juarez. Yeah, it's right on the other side of El Paso. And then Piedras Negras.
Starting point is 00:57:36 A lot of cities like that. But it's been believed that recently the Sinaloa... If you say Sinaloa one more time, I'm going to punch you. It's Sinaloa. Stop putting an Sinaloa one more time, I'm going to punch you. It's Sinaloa. Sinaloa. Stop putting an M in it, you dirty Turk. The Sinaloa Federation has absorbed most of the Tijuana cartel, so it looks like they're winning. The Sinaloan cartel has taken over Tijuana?
Starting point is 00:57:59 Yeah, has absorbed a lot of it. So El Chapo's still in charge, right? Well, not anymore. I mean, are they being honest with each other? Not him, but he's going down. He's not calling the shots from jail? Not that we in charge, right? I mean, if we're being honest with each other. Not him, but he's going down. He's not calling the shots from jail? Not that we know of, right? I mean, I think he's just going to go down.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Do you think there's a possibility that in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn right now, he just has a cellmate? Like your randomly El Chapo cellmate? Yeah, just some dude. Just some dude in for hopping a turnstile? Yeah. He's like, yo, what's up, man? What you in for? He's like, oh, you know, for
Starting point is 00:58:27 illegally ferrying in 100 tons of illegal narcotics and murdering 3,000 people. What about you? He's like, you know, hop the turnstile at the junction. Stop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:43 It is what it is. It's possible. It's very possible. Dog's saying no. He's saying he's gone solitary confinement. Yeah, of course. He's gotta be.
Starting point is 00:58:51 He's in a goddamn box. They're watching that motherfucker. The only way you can actually break him out of jail is if there was enough Mexican people from his cartel already here and you have a massive shootout
Starting point is 00:59:04 and somehow he gets out. You have to send an army. He's not going to dig a hole out. Now, here is another interesting facet about this whole thing that a lot of people don't know that they'll probably learn on this podcast because nobody really talks about it or understands it. But it is fascinating.
Starting point is 00:59:19 And that is that... Bubba, is he leaving? Don't say the point. Yeah, I'm going to go, but I didn't want to blow up his. Where are you going? I've got to leave. Where are you going? I've got a gig, Bubba. What time?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Seven, but I'm going to walk there. Where are you at? 24th Street. Oh, yeah, you've got to leave at 6. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Hey, Bert. I wanted to hear the point. Hey, Bert.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Sorry. Oh, hey, Bert. We're going to get a lot of them. Eight minutes of hey, Bert's on the way out. And the point will never be made. The point was never made. By the way, thank you, Andrew Agos, for making those Hey Bert. By the way, shout out, I just want to shout out real quick, Andrew Agos.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Right now, Andrew Agos came to my shows at the Chicago Improv. He gave me a beautiful Chicago Cubs Anthony Rizzo jersey. Thank you so much for coming. And you brought your daughter, who's a pig. Wow. Yeah. She's beautiful. And she had, I hope she's feeling better because she was growing up after the show.
Starting point is 01:00:09 I hope she's feeling better, Andrew. Thank you so much. You're a fucking loyal member of the matriarch. I see that you just finally joined up or you just updated your pledge. I mean, you're a fucking surgeon. You could give a little more. No, I'm kidding. What you give, what you pledge is much appreciated.
Starting point is 01:00:25 I just want to say thank you so much for coming out to the show, Mr. Agos. That's very nice. Yeah, that's a Greek kid bed. And I'm sure it was a great show because you and Sal are fucking two hilarious comedians. Yeah, and we're both gay. You're both gay kids deep down. Yes. A lot of people think Sal's gay.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Deep down, you guys are both gay kids. Gay kids. I'm embracing it. Yeah. Him and his girl are just two of the sweetest funniest people on and off stage i love fucking there's very few people i love more than sal volcano i like him more than you yeah and you know what you could do sal if you're listening is a tweet about the podcast give us a little help here that would be nice yeah we could just
Starting point is 01:00:59 throw a fucking nice post up about us and tag. Also somebody else who recently is involved in our lives should also do that. Yes, you should do that too. But I legally can't say who. We're fucking wild. Wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So what I was about to say is that drugs are guns are illegal in Mexico.
Starting point is 01:01:26 They're illegal. Guns are illegal in Mexico. Right? Can you just double check on that for me? Interesante. Drugs are illegal in Mexico. So. Later, Bubbas. Look at that fucking piece. Look at his piece. Yeah. Holy shit. Holy shit. I think El Paso's one of the safest cities in
Starting point is 01:01:41 Texas or something. Maybe I'm... Is it? Is that true? Do you think? Apparently, El Paso and Laredo, they pride themselves on how safe they're supposed to be. Yeah. And everyone has a gun there. I mean, it's a gun.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Texas, obviously, is a- Because right on the other side of the border, it's the main cartel, one of the scariest cartels, right? Right there. Yeah. And everyone's fucking strapped in Texas. So they look at it as, hey, we're the safest. And everyone's fucking strapped in Texas.
Starting point is 01:02:04 So they look at it as, hey, we're the safest. They shine it up as like a beacon for the Second Amendment and shows it, hey, it's all about responsibility. It's the shooter. It's not the guns, which is obviously there's a lot to be said for that because there's a lot of truth to that for sure. What a lot of people don't know is that in Texas, which is right across the border, like you said said you do have to have a background checked and there are laws to get the guns but then once you have the gun it's very easy to resell it you can resell it and it goes unchecked so what happens a lot is the drug cartels set up a lot of front men to legally buy the guns and then those guns are moved across the border and given to the cartels. 90% of the cartels' weapons come from America
Starting point is 01:02:52 and they're traced back to legal purchases. And they just change hands so many times. So the problem is we have, as just a nation, just a people problem. You have a lot of fucking dirtbags that will do anything for money. Well, you got, look, these are, we, it's the same thing with Chicago. People are like, look at Chicago.
Starting point is 01:03:10 It's like all those guns come from Indiana. Yeah. We have big gun companies here who like to make money. How do you make money? Fucking people need guns. Yeah. What makes people want to buy guns? People with illegal guns doing crime.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Yeah. So it's like, it's all good for business. At the end of the day, the more guns on the street, obviously, legally and legally, the more guns are going to be sold. And so at the end of the day, it's about the dollar bills. And unfortunately, a lot of people die for that money. And unfortunately, a lot of people die for that money. Because, yeah, you see the preferred weapons for a lot of the cartels, they're not like.22s or hunting rifles. They are fucking AK-47s and automatic weapons that fire a lot and spray.
Starting point is 01:04:04 And that's what they use, and that's where they get them. They get them from America. So they put drugs into our country. We send guns down. It's like an even exchange of fucking evil. Of evil. Guns are not completely illegal in Mexico,
Starting point is 01:04:21 but they're very strict gun laws, so they probably come here to get the guns they can't get there and then bring them back. Yeah. It's close to, it's very strict, right? Yeah, very strict. In all of Mexico. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:34 So that's what it is. And in Texas, it's very lenient. And yeah, that's the thing, man. When you talk about strengthening the gun laws, it's not about taking guns away. It's about amending that. Amending that law. So it's like background check, but then it's illegal to resell it. That gun has to be registered every year or every five years or every ten years, whatever the law may be.
Starting point is 01:04:57 And it has to remain in your hands and be traced. Shit like that. Shit like that that would stop 90% of those guns that end up in cartels' hands that are used for just mass murder. But I guess, you know, the American manufacturers are going, hey, man, that's outside our borders, whatever. They look the other way. They know.
Starting point is 01:05:15 I get it. They all know. They all know. But it's good for business. Well, listen, that was, you know, I hope you guys enjoyed that episode on the Sinaloa cartel. If you didn't enjoy it, go snort some Coke. Listen to it again. That would be the fucking best thing you could do is get high and the Sinaloa cartel. If you didn't enjoy it, go snort some Coke. Listen to it again. That would be the fucking best thing you could do is get high and use some of the cartel's
Starting point is 01:05:28 product while you're listening to it because it's what it is. At the end of every episode, as we always do, we read out the newest members of the Patreon. The newest members of the Patreon. Patreon. Now we're calling it Matreon now. But if you want to join it, you have to go to Patreon with a P. But if you want to join it, you have to go to Patreon with a P, patreon.com slash BayRidgeBoys and join the Matreon and the Matriarchy and be a part of it.
Starting point is 01:05:54 And at the end of every episode, we read out new members. Or if you've upgraded your pledge, we also read you out again. And what you get is a bonus episode of us walking, talking. You get extra bonus Patreon-only episode for the five... Look, just go read the tiers. You get stuff. And ask the people who are members. They fucking love it. Because a lot of our wildest shit, we do
Starting point is 01:06:16 on a Patreon. On a Patreon. And as always, I read the names and Giannis guesses the ethnicity. So first up, Anne-Marie Briones. Anne-Marie Briones. Anne-Marie Briones. That is a Puerto Rican girl. She could be Puerto Rican. Webba, webba, webba.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Lee Ross. Lee Ross? White. White. Andrew Agos. Greek. How you doing, Andrew? Murray Kirk. Murray Kirk? Blackhead. He is white. Ooh. Now this guy Alejandro Murray Kirk. Murray Kirk. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-blackhead.
Starting point is 01:06:46 He is white. Ooh. Now, this guy has a picture up, and he's got an interesting nickname that he says that we should say Jonathan Spearchucker Fletcher. Can we just please, how many, let's do six. I am just reading what he wrote. I know, but I'm just saying, we've got to Wei Zhongxian this fucking maniac. Wei Zhongxian. Yeah. Wei Zhongxian. Yeah. Wei Zhongxian.
Starting point is 01:07:08 What do you think he is? There we go. Is he a black kid? He's a black kid. What? So he can say it. He can say it, but we're not allowed to say it. But Chrissy said it anyway.
Starting point is 01:07:18 And here's another black kid, most likely, because he's just got one name, Kevin. Kevin? Yeah, one name, we always Kevin? Yeah, one name. We always know those black kids. Brandon Kimball. Brandon Kimball. That is a wasp. Kimball is as waspy as wasps can get.
Starting point is 01:07:33 That kid definitely has a pair of penny loafers, and he doesn't wear socks. 100%. Jonathan B. Bad, bad, bad. Jonathan B. Bad, bad, bad. I'm going to go young white teenager. Who wants to be black. Bad, bad, bad. Jonathan B. Bad, bad, bad. I'm going to go young white teenager. Who wants to be black.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Bad. Here's a girl who just gave us a message. She must have upgraded her pledge, and she looks like a piece. Diana Durazo. Ooh, Diana Durazo. We read a comment from her before. So she is, let's say her ethnicity is peace. Your ethnicity is peace.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Sorry, love. Next up, Gregory DeVois. Gregory DeVois, that is a French kid from New Orleans, and his parents were slave owners. Yeah. It is what it is. Next up, we have Scribbersisms. Scribbersisms, that is a jihadi with a body's friend who also raps. Well, his last name is Scribber.
Starting point is 01:08:25 Scribber? Yeah. Christopher Dot Scribber. I'm going to go Chinese black kid. There we go. Yeah. Tiger Woods ethnicity. Kay Nelson.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Kay Nelson is white. Courtney Marie Rude. Another honka-donk. She is honked out Is she a puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh She is a puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh 10. Chris Grillo. Chris Grillo. You know who he is. I mean, you know, this guy's got a cement business. Me and my brother, we took over the family's business. Yeah. You know, we grew up in Bay Ridge, but you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:09:12 Too many of these Sandys were moving in there. Yeah. Chris Grillo's going to send his message. Hey, listen. I just want to say thank you. You know, the podcast is great. And guess what? I won't let my daughter date nobody like that.
Starting point is 01:09:21 My daughter's new boyfriend can't hand out CDs at Times Square either. You know what I'm saying? Listen. My name is Chris Grillo. I really love you's podcast. Like, you's kids are really fucking wild and I like listening, but listen, all the other part where you're not talking about who your daughter wouldn't date, you should
Starting point is 01:09:38 make the whole podcast about that. Why don't you just say she needs to date a white kid. I mean, we're not fucking on the molly is an italian kid from fucking staten island last but not least amanda cloninger wow it's close wow cloninger cl-R She is a Honinger Honk a donk
Starting point is 01:10:08 Honk a donk And she's white And looks like a piece Thank you guys so much for listening Be good people We appreciate it Oh we have to make a call today Oh we have to call fucking Chris the teacher
Starting point is 01:10:19 Let's call him Shit I forgot we have to call him See Sal Vaucano I'm not sure if Chris the teacher is a big fan of Sal But if he is Let's call him. Shit. Let's do it. See, Sal Vaucano. I'm not sure if Chris the teacher is a big fan of Sal, but if he is, Sal, call the police. Let's do it. We hope you enjoyed the episode about the Cimalong cartel, homes.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Orale. Take it easy, bro. You don't hear any Mexicans talk like that on the East Coast. What's up, ese? That's down there. That's a California Mexican. Yeah, it's more California, bro. Baja California, right?
Starting point is 01:10:54 Take it easy, man. Hi, can we speak to Chris the teacher? What happened? He hung up. Should we call him back? Yeah. Let's call him back. Call him back.
Starting point is 01:11:08 I mean, he probably... I mean... How did... Who else calls him Chris the teacher? Hello? Chris? Hey, what's up? Chris the teacher. It's the History Hyenas.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Why would you hang up on us? This is your dream. What, do you have a 16-year-old girl in your classroom with you? Why? Holy shit. This is the best night of my life. What's up, boy? What's up?
Starting point is 01:11:26 How you doing? Whose window are you presently outside of with binoculars? Yours and your home. Well, that is absolutely true, and that's frightening. Frightening. What's up, cuz? What you doing? You're out in Long Island?
Starting point is 01:11:42 You're on the island? I'm out in Long Island. We're going the island? I'm out in Long Island. I'm going to go to the football awards dinner and listen to some of your shit on the Patreon right now. You're fucking great. You're a super fan and we love you. You're a super fan and your $25 and your $25 contributions mean a lot. And even if you kill me one day, which is probable, I just want to say thanks for being
Starting point is 01:12:03 a part of the matriarchy. Yeah. Here was my... I actually met Chris. for being a part of the matriarchy. Yeah. Here was my – I actually met Chris. Have you met Mr. – I met – yeah. I met Chris, too. You've met him, too? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Where'd you meet him? He came at another one of the shows. He was on the couch. Oh, right on. So, yeah, Chris came out to see me at Governor's when I was at Governor's, and he gave me a card, and it had some white powder in it. It also had a 20, and I haven't really been the same since then, so I don't know had some white powder in it and it also had a 20 and I haven't really been the same since then so I don't know what that white powder was.
Starting point is 01:12:29 What was it, Chris? I take the fifth commandment. You're a little Franks and Beans, aren't you? Anybody that's got to be a fan of you has got to be a little Franks and Beans. Chris has got a fucking real New York accent. Yeah. Yo, Chris is from out in the island.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Chris is from out in the island. People from out in the island don't really leave the island. Is that right, Chris? You can't take it out of us, man. You know what I'm saying? I'm out on the island right now, actually, right by Jake's 58. I'm going to play a little video poker. And then, you know, go home to my wife and poke her.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Hey, yeah. Chris. How many times has your wife left you in the last year? Oh, she's gone now. It just happens constantly, right? But she'll be back soon. You know, where's she going? I mean, come on. I'm going to catch.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Now, the parents on the board of your school, hopefully none of them listen to this podcast because how quickly would you be out of a job If they heard that you were a fan of the history hyenas Or it doesn't matter It would be a little bit It would be a little bit of a problem I think it would be worth it So if you ever need me to come in and be the third Mike
Starting point is 01:13:37 I will only give my job up for it Chris the teacher is trying to inch his way Onto this podcast. Well, we appreciate you, man. You're also a great teacher, right? You love being a teacher because you are actually a teacher. Yes, sir.
Starting point is 01:13:55 And you know exactly where I teach. I'm going to keep that off the airwaves, but me and Giannis have a little connection. Yeah, from what I understand. Yeah, I mean, I know somebody who went to school where he taught. Oh, yeah. We're not going to say that. Some illegal things happened.
Starting point is 01:14:13 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:15 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:16 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:17 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:17 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:17 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:18 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:19 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 01:14:22 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. free. For Chris the Teacher, we should have put him on the Patreon. Chris the Teacher is going to be on the Patreon. Chris the Teacher's got to come in one day. Chris the Teacher's a big fan.
Starting point is 01:14:32 I would say almost Chris the Teacher, Rafael DeLuca, and Bacacus was until you started guessing her age. DeLuca and CTT are big fans, and we really do appreciate it. Honestly, I know we fuck around with you a lot, but it's really great. We do have a few new ones who are making a run for the money, though. We got a few new ones that are coming for your guys' throne. Especially, let me see, what was her name? She's for Rome. She's for Rome.
Starting point is 01:15:02 Yeah, you actually said she was for Rome. What was her name? You actually commented that she was for Rome She's for Rome Yeah you actually Said she was for Rome What was her name You actually commented That she was for Rome On the On the Patreon Cause she comments a lot And now I can't find it But um
Starting point is 01:15:12 Is that the one That I asked out For a Tinder date And promised she would Survive it I think so yeah What was her name Is that Nicole
Starting point is 01:15:20 I don't remember But she's a Piss What a piss Uh Who Yo I'm gonna be at the I'm gonna be at the Fat Black next week Are you guys gonna be Working Nicole Rosati? I don't remember, but she's a piece. What a piece. I'm going to be at the Fat Black next week. Are you guys going to be working?
Starting point is 01:15:30 Now or not. Yeah, Chris will be. Thank God. You know what? You've made me be thankful I don't work the cellar. Yes, I'll be there, Chris. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Yeah, man. Thank you, brother. We appreciate it. We really do appreciate it, Chris. All jokes aside, man, we appreciate your support. You're always spreading the word for us. You're always commenting. You keep it fun. That's what we're all about, just having a good time.
Starting point is 01:15:54 And we're glad to have you as a fan, man. I really appreciate it, guys. I love you. And tomorrow I'm going to go back to teaching the effects of imperialism on Africa by the Europeans. What do you think we should do next? What would be your recommendation for another episode? Today, the episode you're going to hear that you're on right now, when it comes out, we just talked about the Sinaloa cartel and El Chapo.
Starting point is 01:16:23 Oh, baby. Well, with that trial going on, you've got to be careful what you say, fellas. Come on. Wow. Chris the teacher has a very strong Long Island accent. I did not expect that. Yeah. So when you go to class, you go to class, you just stand up and you go, what's up, kid?
Starting point is 01:16:35 What's up, class? Ah, yes. Today's what he's going to be talking about. Hey, guys. How you doing? Make no mistake. The Industrial Revolution was fucking wild. Do you know anything about El Chapo?
Starting point is 01:16:55 Fubes. Yeah, Fubes. Do you know anything about El Chapo and the Similoa cartel? I only know from Narcos. Yeah, well that's what inspired us to do it what I know from Narcos. Yeah, well that's what inspired us to do it because everyone's watching Narcos. Chris, the teacher, we love you, brother. Once a month we speak to our
Starting point is 01:17:14 $25 a month members. Thank you for being a member of the Matriarch at $25 a month. You are our cult leader. If we start a cult, you're getting a right-hand man job right next to Chrissy Sammons. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:29 I'm ready. I'm ready. I'll be the first to drink the Kool-Aid. Alright, thanks, Chris. Thanks, Chris. Appreciate it, man. Be good, boy. Thank you. Alright. Lace. As we know, it wasn't actually Kool-Aid. What was it? It was Flavor-Aid. Flavor-Aid, yeah. Chris actually makes a good point.
Starting point is 01:17:45 We probably shouldn't be saying anything about the Cinalone cartel. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, we didn't say anything. We didn't say anything. I'm actually pro the cartel. I like them. I think it's interesting. That's a weird thing to say, too.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Chris, you say weird things. I'm more scared of the cartel than the government. Yeah, but you're a handsome kid. You're a cute fucking kid. Yeah. And it's just what it is. I don't do drugs, but I may start. Because are you going to keep that haircut when you get into your 50s or your 60s?
Starting point is 01:18:08 Are you going to let it grow out? What are you going to... I need to know what you're going to look like when you... Fred Flintstone out. I need to know what you look like when you're older. Yeah. It's going to be funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:19 I need to see it. Yeah. I'm going to look funny, too, because my hair is going to thin and my nose and ears are going to keep growing and I'm just going to get sunspots. I'm going to look like a typical old Greek guy. And old Greek guys are gross. Gross. And you're going to, you know, with age, you just start to shrink, but your head's going
Starting point is 01:18:38 to stay the same. It's going to look weird. Yeah, I'm going to weird. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, thank you so much for listening to the pod. Go tell your friends, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, to be a part of the matriarchy and the matrion well thank you so much for listening to the pod go tell your friends patreon.com slash bayridgeboys
Starting point is 01:18:46 to be a part of the matriarchy and the matrion thank you so much for listening you can find out all my shows christycomedy.com twitter instagram at christycomedy
Starting point is 01:18:55 yeah januspappas.net and follow us as always on historyhyenas at historyhyenas on instagram and youtube historyhyenas on youtube
Starting point is 01:19:04 and historyhyenas on youtube. And YouTube. History Hyenas on YouTube. And History Hyenas on YouTube. I'm going to go lick a prostate. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye. you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.