History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 53 - Steel Pipe Chrissy is WILD!
Episode Date: February 8, 2019Steel Pipe Chrissy and Yanni Long Days are back with another WILD episode!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕...🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. Yasss.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
That was-
Because he hit it with a yas.
With the snake at the end.
Yas.
Yeah, because-
Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas.
I'm Ku Klux Chrissy D with Onset, Early Onset Yanni.
Early Onset Yanni's a good one.
Yeah, the Patreon member sent us some new-
They called me Chrissy Di Beatrice or something
like that, and they called you early onset Yannis.
Yeah, well, somebody offered a whole bunch of nicknames.
He was the same guy who came up with Klu Klux Klan.
Yeah, what were his nicknames?
We got to find it.
But while we find it, we know we're late, but guess what?
We're in between our created self, our created Women's Month, and now Black History Month.
So in the honor of Black History Month, we decided to show up a little late on this episode.
Yeah.
Wei Shunxing, motherfucker.
Wei Shunxing.
And does Sandra Dee over here, are we just calling him Sandra Dee now?
Yeah, let's just call him Sandra Dee.
Do you have the soundboard ready?
Are you a 23-year-old kid with more finger tattoos now?
How many finger tattoos do you fucking have now?
Six.
Do you just sit there and wait?
Because I know Muzzies, they pray to a genie.
Do you just ask the genie sometimes for more fingers to get tattoos?
I got one hand left.
After that, I'm going to have to start praying.
Muzzies, here's the thing.
Now you really are not going to get a job,
but it doesn't matter
That you got finger tattoos
Because
I have seen your grammar
And either way
You better make it in hip hop
Cuz
I'm just gonna be honest
It's a world you still missed
That's it
It's just what it is
In Latin by the way
We're gonna start saying
It's just what it is
In a whole bunch
Of different Latin
In a whole bunch
Of different languages
Cuz we're fucking
International kids
Yeah we're international kids.
We have an international fan base now.
And make no mistake, I just get a little bored with things.
So we have to just start doing it in other languages.
Let's just get this on the table at the beginning of the podcast.
Yeah.
You're always talking about how I'm a tough, what is my name?
Tough hang toot.
I'm a tough hang toot.
You're a tough hang toot.
And you're a narcissist.
And you're a narcissist.
And I'm a narcissist.
Yeah, and you're absent-minded and you're just a fucking plague in my existence. And I'm a useless eater. You're a tough hank too. And you're a narcissist. And I'm a narcissist. Yeah, and you're absent-minded, and you're just a fucking plague in my existence.
And I'm a useless eater.
You're a useless eater.
But here's the truth.
Yeah.
And here's the truth.
We're all about narcissists.
We're stand-up comedians, which means we're all a little bit narcissists.
And let's just talk about Chrissy fucking Cackles for a second.
Let's talk for a second about Chrissy toot texter for a second.
Yeah.
Because.
I'm emotional.
I'm Chrissy emotions.
Yeah.
You're constantly swinging.
Yeah.
You call me a tough hang.
But the truth is we both know I do go on a few rants.
Yeah.
And it is hard to turn me off.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
I'm like a robot that you just you wish you could unplug. But sometimes you can't. Yeah. But here's the thing. I'm like a robot that you just wish you could unplug, but sometimes you can't.
Yeah.
But here's the truth.
I'm always in a good mood even though my family's dying.
Yeah.
And I'm getting married and I'm scared.
Yeah.
But I'm in a good mood.
The truth about you is you actually swing.
Yeah.
So I'm constantly tiptoeing around your emotions.
I'm in my mood, yeah.
When we're going to a party and you know there's going to be 20 people there
and you can sit like a fucking cute little kitten
on the couch and drink a few brews,
which we now call move the vegetables a little bit.
Yeah, that's a new name for drinking brews.
We call them move the vegetables
because my mom used to hide brews under the vegetables
and any time she would move the vegetables,
that means she was ready to have a few brews.
So now when you're outside with your friends,
instead of saying,
do you guys want to go to the bar and have a few drinks,
you say, do you want to go to the bar
and move some vegetables? Are we going out tonight to move some vegetables? That's what you're outside with your friends, instead of saying, do you guys want to go to the bar and have a few drinks? Say, do you want to go to the bar and move some vegetables?
Are we going out tonight to move some vegetables?
That's what you're going to say.
Make no mistake, me and Chrissy Cackles last night, we moved a few vegetables.
We moved a few vegetables, and now I woke up with a low-grade fever.
Inna hal faqat mahiya.
What was that?
That was some Arabic right there.
Wait, which one was that?
Yeah, play it one more time.
Inna hal faqat mahiya. That's Arabic? That's some Arabic right there. Wait, which one was that? Yeah, play it one more time.
That's Arabic?
That's some Arabic right there.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
So I'm constantly dealing with your mood because make no mistake, when you want to go to a party, you're happy.
Yeah.
And then when you got to come work here, and the people will back me up.
Our cackle of hyenas will back me up.
Yeah.
You're always going, cuz, I just don't want to be here right now.
Yeah.
You're a tough hang.
I'm a tough hang, cuz.
If there is not, if we're not going to a party, or if we're not going to an amusement park,
or if we're not going to get cupcakes, I just don't want to do anything.
It's actually true, which is actually kind of wild.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're kind of a, you're an emotional swinger.
You need to be on medication.
Yeah.
Do you need to be on medication? Yeah. I used to be on Lexapro. Yeah. Yeah. I used to of an emotional swinger. You need to be on medication. Yeah. Do you need to be on medication?
Yeah.
I used to be on Lexapro.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I used to be on Lexapro, and then I stopped, but I think I may need to be on medication
because my mom has got mood swings, and so do I.
Yeah.
Well, you know, that's why you got to have a vegetable drawer in your refrigerator.
Yeah, because, and make no mistake, we're going to do a live podcast from Rudy's Bakery
in Ridgewood, Queens, because it's been there since 1910 and it's an old
school German bakery. And I think that they
were supporting the Nazis for a little bit.
Is that the story? That's what I
heard. Well, if they were a German
bakery and they were around in 1910, there's
a good chance.
Es ist genau das, was es ist.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Yes.
And what language was that? German. German.
Yeah. Yo, ISIS is good, cuz.
Yeah.
Your rap is pretty good.
You're probably not going to make it, so you're just going to want to make that soundboard
good.
Yeah.
Because this is your ticket, because make no mistake, you know what, dude's going nowhere.
Yeah.
And you got to change your Twitter name to at Sandra D.
Because we have such a long day today
And we've done no preparation
Instead we've just fucking moved the vegetables
Last night in Sal Valcana's house
And I sat on his fucking restoration hardware couch
And got comfortable on a pillow
And looked into Dan Soder's eyes and smelled his breath
I have a picture of Justin Silver
The dog whisperer
Yeah the dog whisperer from CBS
I'm about to say something real funny.
If it was here, it would be real.
Because I'd be good at a roast because I cut deep.
You cut deep. I'm just going to call him the unemployed ghost.
The unemployed dog whisperer.
Yeah.
That's the difference between him and Cesar Millan.
Cesar Millan's the dog whisperer.
Justin Silver is the unemployed dog whisperer.
Yeah, Justin Silver's doing a podcast.
Yeah.
He's just always talking into microphones, as Tim Dillon said.
Yeah.
By the way, we are starting to go twice a week because we love you.
We're getting so popular.
We're going to start going twice a week.
And guess what?
Our second episode every week is going to be with a guest.
Yes.
And our first two guests that we have lined up are Tim.
Diversity.
Very diverse.
Yeah, Tim Dillon, a gay white male, and then Ari Shafir, a just sniveling Jew.
Come on, give me a Wei Shang Chien, Sandy.
Wei Shang Chien.
What the fuck?
Yeah, and another one for the Sandy.
You're going to have-
Wei Shang Chien.
No, Sandra, I said.
You said Sandy.
No, you said Sandra.
Oh, I meant to say Sandra.
You got to say Sandra Day.
I meant to say Sandra. Now, when say Sandra D. I meant to say Sandra.
Now, when we get Ari in here, do you want to just start the podcast by just going... Well, when we start the podcast, I'm going to say, please welcome our first guest, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
So, Cousin Patriots won a Super Bowl.
Yeah.
And it was a win for Donald Trump.
White America! Unfortunately, White America won again. It, and it was a win for Donald Trump.
White America!
Unfortunately, White America won again.
It's what it is.
Let's just say what it is.
We know a lot of people were out there rooting against the Patriots because for some reason
the Patriots, I think, have become sort of, they're viewed as sort of like the Make America
Great Again team, no?
Right.
Well, it's so interesting to me.
That's how good Tom brady is and the
patriots organization is they're open about how much they love donald trump they're open about it
and know everybody loves them every race religion creed they all love them isn't it just crafto
who's really open about it like tom brady has been kind of cryptic about it a little bit because
they were friends i think he's friends with donald trump But then he kind of reneged on it. He didn't go
visit him at the White House.
So he's been a little more cryptic
about it. Yeah, Kraft is just open.
He's like, I love this guy. Well, he just said
the other day, like two days before the Super Bowl, he just
said, he just goes, you know, he's
working for the best interest of our country.
So I think that most
of America wanted the
Patriots to lose,
but the truth is, terrific Tom, Tommy terrific,
is just a winning machine.
He just wins.
And he left his wife while she was pregnant with their baby for Giselle,
and he's a piece of garbage, and it's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
And, you know, but he gets a free pass.
Certain people in life just get a free pass.
You're giving him a free pass, and I'll tell you why.
Why?
You want to sit in his fucking lap.
I'd love to.
Some kids to you just have a lap you want to sit in.
Tom Brady's got one of those fucking nice laps.
He's a healthy eater. He's not fucking nice laps. He's a healthy eater.
He's not a useless eater. He's a healthy eater.
He's about 6'4", 6'5".
I'd like to get lost in him. But you know whose lap I really
want to fucking get in? I really want to get in The Rock's
lap.
I'd love to get in that lap a little
bit. Kind of smell his bald
head. Just see what's going on.
Touch his veins a little bit. And just get
to know him. ask him questions,
where'd he come from?
I'd probably call him Dwayne.
Yeah.
I wouldn't call him The Rock,
I'd call him Dwayne.
Yeah.
And,
but again,
I don't want to have sex with him.
I don't want to,
let me,
let me be crystal clear.
Be crystal clear with us.
I want to be crystal clear
with you and the audience.
Yeah.
Not one part of me
wants to have sex with a man.
But you are Chrissy Chaos,
which just hit me in the brain
and I can't believe
I haven't thought of that before.
Yeah. You're Chrissy Chaos. I'm Chrissy Chaos. Yeah. Because what you the brain, and I can't believe I haven't thought of that before.
You're Chrissy Chaos.
I'm Chrissy Chaos.
Because what you're about to say is chaos.
I don't, I do not at all want to have sex with a man.
But I do fall in love with men.
I think that's gayer than one.
I think having sex with a guy is less gay than wanting to crawl on his lap.
I only want to have sex with women.
I really am so sexually attracted to women.
A man has never made me hard.
But I do wake up some mornings thinking about men.
That's just... Do we have a, what?
It's just what?
Yeah, what language is that?
That's Japanese.
Yeah.
This is fun.
Guys.
Yeah, so you have to understand.
No, I don't have to understand anything.
You have to understand that you need to be put down for the betterment of the global community.
Yeah.
Not just American society.
Yeah.
But for the global community and for the global community's progeny.
Yeah.
For future generations,
you're like global warming.
Yeah.
You need to be fixed.
The Patreon member called you Poughkeepsie Pappas.
Yeah, Poughkeepsie Pappas.
Can we find that message?
I'll find it.
You talk.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, fucking, you know.
Just tell the people more about your uniqueness.
So basically, like we've said before, you're just, you enjoy the smell of a guy. I enjoy the smell of a guy, you enjoy the smell of a guy.
I enjoy the smell of a guy.
I enjoy the smell of a man's breath.
But again, I don't want to have sexual intercourse with men.
I'm solely attracted to women.
But yesterday at the Super Bowl party, I was getting lost in Mike Vecchione's conversations.
But I didn't even think twice to look at any of the women in the party.
So you enjoy talking to guys.
There's nothing weird about that, man.
Right.
But wanting to climb into a guy's lap, I just don't know what the ruling is on that.
Maybe we should just put a poll up on our Instagram page, History Hyenas.
If you're not following us, I don't know what you're doing.
I really, at this point, I don't want to get angry, cuz.
Yeah.
Because I'm a tough hang toot.
Yeah.
But if you're not following us on Instagram, I don't know what you're doing with your life.
Who are you following?
Fuck Jerry?
Yeah, I mean, you following fuck Jerry?
Who are you following?
They steal content.
Exactly.
And all the comics are supposed to rally behind each other and unfollow him.
But yet some other people blatantly steal jokes, just get a free pass.
Yeah, some other people who do live stand-up and steal jokes from lesser-known comedians,
if those comedians potentially could get your work or have gotten your work
or have made you a little more famous than you ever would have been
because some of their fame rubbed off on you, that's cool.
But if there's some anonymous content aggregator who now actually even credits
the content that they take
and puts on their dumb Instagram page.
We got to boycott them,
even though it's not going to work
because they're being followed
by 27 million people
and they never hang at the table.
It's just what it is.
What was that, Russian?
That was Croatian.
Nice.
Because we're getting really esoteric with our joints.
Yeah, because.
I can't see the message where the guy said all the names.
He had a good list of names for me.
I'm pulling it up now.
Yeah, it's on the Patreon.
Can you find.
Oh, here we go.
I got it.
Okay, this is Clay.
Actually, it's Clay Anthony.
Clay Anthony's a good kid.
Yeah, our first round pick, Clay Anthony.
Is he super fan status at this point, Chrissy?
Clay Anthony is big, yeah.
Rafael DeLuca and Jen Begakis just don't care anymore.
Yeah, Rafael DeLuca, well, who knows?
He might have got a job.
I mean, the kid's unemployed.
Let's be honest, the kid's always available to make a mix for us.
Yeah, he's an unemployed Harvard-educated DJ.
Yeah, I mean, what's his-
Yeah, and it's not-
And Begakis is just out now. Begakis has a boyfriend. Okay, so that's what you're saying. Yeah, and it's not- And Bagakis is just out now.
Bagakis has a boyfriend.
Okay, so that's what you're talking about.
Yeah, she has a boyfriend.
I don't know who the boyfriend is,
but she still comments once in a while.
But she's definitely not trying to crawl
on all the podcasts anymore.
Yeah, Chris the Teacher still is.
Yeah, Chris the Teacher's just,
he's a wild card in perpetuity.
Yeah.
He's just a kid that the FBI should be watching or no?
Yes.
Yeah.
100% yes.
Yes.
Okay, so Clay Anthony, congratulations.
You are in pseudo-penis, super fan level two.
Yeah.
You're a non-toot.
You're a pseudo-penis, super level non-toot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so here Clay Anthony goes, yo, since Chrissy Queen Elizabeth Dick DeStefano, funny
kid, already has 20 plus nicknames, and we need to make more for Giannis because the
Fuhrer of Fumes deserves it.
Yeah.
Drop your best Gianni liberal cuck poppy nicknames in the comments section.
I thought of a few.
So here's Clay Anthony's few, and they were good if I remember correctly.
Giannis sometimes
has hair pappas.
Yanni, jail
sexuality poppy.
Pretty good right there. Because that's my sexuality.
I'm kind of like a straight-ish
kid. I'm straight-ish.
If I went to jail,
I'd be good at it.
Make no mistake, I'd be good at it. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, make no mistake.
I like women, but if you're a dude and you can pull off that you look like a woman, you're
gonna get banged out.
Yeah, if you're a dude that has fake tits.
You're gonna get banged out.
You're gonna get banged out by Yanni P, or he will pay you a lot of money to keep the
fucking fat.
He'll pay you a lot of money to keep your mouth shut and then let you throw his
cock in his mouth a little bit. Cause it's just
Alright. Timing was a little off but we're
in the same ballpark but you couldn't see
the keyboard keys past
all the words on your fingers. What are you
fucking the guy from Memento?
Yeah. Okay. So here's another one.
Giannis Master Tranny Ber that's the best one yeah yanni master tranny baiter pappas yeah yeah okay yanni witchcraft
ass pappy that's the least good one right i don't know which hazel ass oh which but he said
witchcraft he meant to say which hazel oh he might say which hazel all right that was a little better
oh he's got a lot more.
Yanni Fishnets?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no, this is Lisa Johnson.
Oh, Lisa Johnson. Peace.
Listen, Lisa, if we started in the street, we'd take out our fucking peace guns and go
peace.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Girls get peace every day now.
Yeah, girls could get shot with the peace guns.
Yeah.
Fellas, when you see those girls walking down the street and they're papas,
you just take out your peace guns like you're sitting in a fucking helicopter
going over Somalia and the enemy's on the ground.
You just go, pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa, and you shoot down those pieces.
Yeah, black cock down.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. So Yanni Fishnets, that's a good one. This is Lisa. Okay
So Yanni Fishnets
That's a good one
This is Lisa
I think Lisa might have taken it to another level
Lisa's fucking hilarious
Yeah
You love Lisa
Yeah she's a PA
So Yanni Fishnets
Is that one of your faves?
I love Yanni Fishnets
Yanni
Cuckoli?
Yeah
Yeah
Yannis the No Gender Cuck.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yanni the Dyke.
Wow, that's straightforward.
Yanni the Dyke is good.
Yeah.
I don't know if any of these are just beaten straight up yours, KD Lang.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Yanni the Dyke's funny, though.
Yeah, Yanni the Dyke's funny.
How about this one?
Nah Mean Yanni?
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, that one's okay. Yeah. Okay. How about Yanni the Bottom? She's, though. Yeah, Yanni the Dyke's funny. How about this one? Nah Mean Yanni? Yeah. Okay. You know, that one's okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
How about Yanni the Bottom?
She's just going right to it.
Yeah.
Yanni the Bottom.
Yanni La Pooce Muncher.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Cuck Queen Yanni.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Long Day Yanni.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Or Yanni Long Days.
Yanni Long Days.
That's a good one, actually.
Yeah.
You can let the people know when I've been a little out of hand. Yeah. You can say, I had to deal with Yanni Long Days today. I had to deal with Yanni Longdays. Yanni Longdays. That's a good one, actually. You can let the people know when I've been a little out of hand.
You can say, I had to deal with Yanni Longdays today.
I had to deal with Yanni Longdays, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, how about, wow, this one's funny.
Zika Head Yanni.
Yeah.
You got a peanut head, cuz.
I do have a small head, cuz.
I wear children's sizes hats.
Yeah.
This is small and children.
Okay, and this one's the Smeller of Well Farts, which is kind of like a two nicknames in one. hats. Yeah. This is small and children. Okay.
And this one's the smeller of well farts, which is kind of like a do nicknames in one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because the fart I ripped in Sal's elevator last night was wild.
Yeah.
Your fiance got upset.
Yeah.
You just rip farts in front of my fiance.
It's just what it is.
And the farts, when you fart, it sounds like something dropped on the floor.
It always feels like something just went down to the floor.
I go. Because let's just be crystal clear.
Be crystal clear.
I'm going to bring one of the Patreon members to your wedding as my plus one.
That will be hilarious.
It's just what it is.
I'm going to bring my babies, mamas.
Yeah.
You never know when you guys are back in love.
It's just what it is.
So I may just bring fucking Sandra D right here.
Yeah. That would be funny Sandra Dee right here. Yeah.
See you, Bob.
That would be funny if you bring Sandra.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's another one.
Louis Altuve got in on the mix.
And Louis Altuve goes, I've been meaning to come up with something for Giannis since the success of...
Oh, it's Louis Altuve.
Yeah.
We need to give him credit where credit's due.
Which, by the way, before you say this, Louis Altuve and where we're reading from is patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
If you guys don't know that we have Patreon, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, and you can be part of the fucking matriarchy.
Again, if you're not on patreon.com.
I don't know what you're doing.
What are you doing?
What are you giving your money to?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
You're going to get banned like the dog.
Yeah.
You're going to get banged out.
You're going to get banged out if you don't join the matriarchy.
Okay.
Luis Altuve.
Credit where credit's due.
He is the guy that came up with Klu Klux Chrissy.
Okay.
So hats off to you.
Okay.
Okay.
So this is what he's got for me.
So far he says I got Giannis Passable Trans Pappas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chrissy likes that one. Yeah. Yeah, Chris, he likes that one.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Here we go.
His next one is P-P-P-P-. Yeah, Poughkeepsie Pappas.
Okay, so it's Luis Altuve.
Yeah, when he says, when he's fed up with Chris's rejection of reality, then they call me Poughkeepsie Pappas.
Yeah.
Because that's where I'm taking you.
And he goes, the whole community needs to come together for this.
So then Dana joined in.
She says, make that a Poughkeepsie La Puss Pappas.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then Megan Welch says, Giannis five-part tweet Pappas.
Yeah.
Those were good ones, cuz.
Yeah.
Look, there's a party going on at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
A big party.
Look, this was the first month I could see, Chrissy, that the numbers did not drop off when the months changed.
So thank you for your support.
Cuz, and let's just be honest, crystal clear.
Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome to that history.
It was Women's Month last month, and we said we did three women,
and we said we were going to do four,
and then we just decided that three women's enough.
Yeah.
And we're just not going to do the fourth.
We're just going to talk about the Super Bowl.
Yeah, we just decided that, you know what?
We gave you enough women.
You guys have it a little too good now.
Yeah.
So we're just going to cut your month short in honor of Black History Month,
which is only 28 days and one month out of the year.
Well, let's be honest.
American history really is black history.
It is. So for Black History Month, I say what we
should do. Who do you want to do the history of for Black
History Month? Eminem?
Can I get a Wei Shangxin?
I'm kidding.
Is that Wei Shangxin?
It's just what it is.
I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. But who do you
want to do for Black History Month? We should, because we really
should. Yeah, we got a lot of options for that.
Yeah.
We'll think about that.
We got a lot of great options for that.
Because we will.
Because, well, didn't you say today, who do you want to do the history of today?
I'm out of it today because I slept on my mother's couch.
Yeah.
I'm sick.
Yeah.
I took some Theraflu.
Yeah.
I have a cough.
I have a low-grade fever.
Yeah.
I do use condoms with the women I have sex with, but not the guys.
Wild. So tell the people about what happened on the block from your mom's house.
Oh, my God. So in I was in Ridgewood. I was in Ridgewood, Queens this weekend.
And a woman two blocks up from where my mother lives was stabbed to death, five months pregnant, stabbed to death in her doorway.
lives was stabbed to death, five months pregnant, stabbed to death in her doorway.
And it's horrible.
And they don't know who, they don't know, they think it's her boyfriend, but they don't know what he looks like or who he is.
So I was walking past the crime scene and I got fucking grilled by the cops because
I look like a perp.
No, you don't.
That's right.
You look like a cop.
So that's why I was confused by that.
Maybe they just recognized me from Guy Code.
Yeah, it could have been an Andrew Schultz moment.
Yeah, they thought it was Andrew Schultz.
Yeah, it could have been a Guy Code moment.
But it's fucking weird, man.
Who kills their pregnant girlfriend?
It's always...
An insecure man.
It's always insecurity.
Always.
Scorned somebody.
Scorned, yeah, but that's all insecurity, man.
If you're a man out there and you're insecure, fuck you.
Yeah.
I hate it.
That's the most disgusting quality in a man is insecurity.
I fucking –
I missed you.
Because it's the root of everything.
Yeah.
Because I just was in Ridgewood.
Here comes Steel Pipe.
I missed you.
I was just in Ridgewood, so I got some of my roots out.
The fourth rank is coming back.
Oui, son, si.
There you go.
No, I'm kidding.
Yeah.
But I fucking really like it it
bothers me to no end when i see an insecure guy to tell a girl let me see your phone hit her you
know jwoww's husband you know this whole thing that's coming out or he hits her and it's like
you're insecure you're fucking you're a loser yeah you're a fucking loser yeah and what do you want
to do to those people well not i mean i don't know the jwoww thing i'm just i'm just saying like what
the media in terms it's okay no but i don't know that guy so he's I mean, I don't know the J-Wild thing. I'm just saying what the media interprets. It's okay. No, but I don't know that guy.
He's probably an asshole.
I don't know.
But the guy
who stabbed his pregnant girlfriend,
if that's true
or anybody who does that,
you're a fucking loser.
Yeah.
You're a fucking loser
and if I ever catch you,
what I'm going to do
is I'm going to fucking,
I'm going to eat
a bunch of beets
and I'm going to just fucking,
I'm going to put you
in a headlock
and I'm going to open up
these butt cheeks and you're going to get a beef fart right in the face.
Or.
It bothers me, honestly.
Yeah.
It bothers me to no end when I see an insecure man.
Like when I see some of our comic friends come off and like, do you think that was funny?
It's like, listen, you fucking little bitch.
Yeah, there's a pipe.
What do you mean do I think it's funny?
You fucking, don't ask me for, ask me for, do you have a tag for this joke?
Just say it.
Stop acting like a woman.
Stop acting like a woman.
Can I get a Wei Zhongxian?
Wei Zhongxian.
I've had enough of these fucking beta cuck males with the pussy hats on outside marching
with their women.
The women don't like you.
I support women too.
That's their thing. I'm here for you, babe. Yeah. What do you you. I support women too. That's their thing.
I'm here for you, babe.
What do you need?
I'm here for you.
I'm not going to fucking go put on sandals and be a vegan to be in unity with you.
There's just a lot of fucking men out there that are starting to piss me the fuck off.
And there's a lot of insecurity.
And I'm telling you, it's going to get to the point where it tips over,
and there's just going to be real guys, and there's going to be betas.
And it's just going to start to get violent again because guess what?
Nature doesn't give all this stuff that when we're out of balance now
and we're trying to go against nature, guess what nature gives?
Nature gives strength.
I was naturally given a size 38 waist, and I'm 240, so I'm going to just start.
And a nice piece.
Yeah, and a nice piece.
And a big head.
So I'm just going to start to use it on some of these fucking beta cuck males
that are trying to out-strengthen me because nature is out of whack.
Yeah.
I'm going to show them that nature is back in focus,
and if I fucking see you again, I'm fucking I swear to God if I see any insecure guys
You're gonna bend down and pick up a fucking steel pipe and clean this place up like you want to
HALF THE STORE!
I'm gonna I'm telling you you're not you're never gonna see it coming
You're just gonna get hit with a steel pipe and you're gonna get a whisper in your ear as you're losing consciousness say this one's for Deutschland
I mean is Sandra Dee fucking asleep over there?
Sandra Dee's asleep
and I was fucking trying to get through that rant
and I couldn't because I'm sick
and I fucking had to sleep on my mother's couch
and I'm not going to lie to you
when I got home last night
I moved some vegetables by myself
because I'm hiding the fact that I'm an alcoholic
Did you actually go to the actual draw home last night, I moved some vegetables by myself because I'm hiding the fact that I'm an alcoholic.
C'est juste ce que c'est. Did you actually
go to the actual draw and take one of your
mom's? Well, my mom was up last night when I got home
because my daughter's by my mom's house. Did you crack
one with your mom? She was up watching the Ted Bundy
tape, so we cracked one. And Aunt Eileen
was up there too. You
fucking sat down with your aunt and your mom? Yeah, my aunt
was drinking a spa and my mom had a blue moon.
You guys cracked, you moved the vegetables together. Yeah, and I cracked open a he drinking a spa and my mom had a blue moon. You guys cracked it. You moved the vegetables together.
Yeah, and I cracked open a hefeweizen.
My mom had hefeweizen in there.
Yeah.
And then we went to Rudy's this morning and it's just, how can I explain it?
It's just like when you go to a place like Ridgewood Queens, you just see there's a lot of truth there.
It's a lot of, you know?
Yeah, what do you mean?
a lot of truth there it's a lot of you know yeah what do you mean like in a sense it's like you know you go there it's like they don't care about you know like they're using plastic straws
they don't care about pc stuff they're just like do you what do you want yeah do you want the coffee
no we don't have almond milk right okay we just don't have it but we don't have any gluten-free
treats but you wanted to get a cake with swast on it, and they couldn't do that for you either.
Well, they said they could have, but the woman who does it wasn't in.
Way so shame.
No, I'm just, obviously, everything I've said for the last 10 minutes, I'm just joking.
Rudy's is a great bakery in Ridgewood, Queens, and go there because they have the best pastries,
and they have all gluten-free options, and they do have almond milk.
I was just kidding, but we should do a live podcast from Ridgewood.
That would be fun, and I can co-sign the fact Chrissy brought me, because look.
A Nutella Linz-a-tar.
Yeah, you're just a thoughtful, nice kid who doesn't like insecure guys, and you want to protect women.
No, I really don't.
It really, like that's the.
That brings out steel pipe.
It fucking pisses me off when I see an insecure guy and he takes out, he yells at a woman
in public or he fucking hurts a woman.
It's all insecurity and it's like, dude, you're a guy.
Or a Greek.
Yeah, you're a guy.
I mean, it's insecurity or Greek.
Stop being an insecure little fucking pussy right now.
That's Greek culture though.
Yeah.
Greeks like to yell-
Greeks are not insecure.
Greeks like to yell at the women a little bit.
I don't know if that's insecurity though.
No, it's just, it's more called right. Putting your hands bit. I don't know if that's insecurity, though. No, it's just more called right.
Putting your hands on a woman and doing something like that's insecurity.
That's bad.
You know, or like fucking, you know, being like, oh, I, you know, it bothers me.
Because when I was a kid, my mom is a big human rights lawyer.
Yeah.
I don't know if we've talked about that.
Like what?
Oh, sorry.
Real quick.
Just, you know what?
You know what?
I was getting to this because I think like that guy killed his girlfriend.
What they're saying now with the police spec is that she was breaking up with him and it was one of those
things like if you if i can't have you nobody can and it's just fucking gross to me it's usually
that that thing that guys do where you can it's fucking so gross it's just that you're you little
fucking pussy you're a little fucking pussy you're right and it bothers me man right it's like what
who the fuck are you?
You're right.
God, I want to hit people.
I just want to hit people today.
Yeah, it's with a pipe.
You're allowed to have a pipe.
Can you get me a water?
Yeah.
Because I'm starting to choke a little bit over here because I got a low-grade fever.
Yeah, and you're also, look.
Because I'm going to come out of the closet and just tell the world I'm gay with AIDS.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean. Wei Shangxian, please I'm gay with AIDS. Thank you. Yeah, I mean.
Wei Shang Chien, please.
Wei Shang Chien.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean, we never know when ISIS is listening or if he's sitting down there writing down
bars.
Yeah, he's writing down bars and hieroglyphics.
Because you got bars on your fingers.
Now you're the guy from Memento.
You're never going to work a job.
It's not going to work out for you.
This is the only podcast that's your that is potentially
get you out of wherever the hell you live yeah and guess what now the fact that you have tattoos
on your fingers guess what category category you're in now the category that can't date my
daughter that's in that's also part of it because i've had a cough for a month yeah because you
probably your immune system used to be superior.
But unfortunately, now you're a 43-year-old kid and you're getting married and everyone's dying around you.
There's starting to be some cracks in the armor.
There are.
And I'm happy to see it.
Yeah, you want to see me go down.
Yeah, I want to see you go down because make no mistake, I'm a German kid and I'd like to eradicate the Greeks too.
Yeah.
You already tried.
You tried once.
And that's why my mother always told me,
I got a lot to say, a couple points.
Yeah, just talk because I can't talk anymore
because I'm going to throw up.
Yeah.
But I do want to say this.
A lot of people think that what's going to happen
is I'm going to walk you up to Poughkeepsie
because we joke about it.
Okay?
And it might happen.
I'm not saying, because look,
you may do something so out of line
that I just may need to trick you
and walk you up to a hill.
Right? Like what's an example of line that I just may need to trick you and walk you up to a hill. Right?
Like, what's an example of something that I could do?
Because, like, let's say, for example, we go to the Nets game tonight, which we're going.
Which we're going.
Which is probably going to have courtside scenes.
Yeah.
If you show up in pajamas, which you're known to do.
Cat sweatpants.
Cat sweatpants or pajamas with footsies, which you're known to do.
Yeah.
And then in the middle of the game, because you can't resist it, you run out in do. Cat sweatpants. Cat sweatpants or pajamas with footsies, which you're known to do. Yeah. And then in the middle of the game,
because you can't resist it,
you run out in the middle of court
and just jump in the Greek freak's lap.
You're going to get put down.
Yeah.
I'm going to get put down
or if the camera pans over
and we're sitting courtside
and I'm just la-pussing everyone.
Yeah.
I'm going to get put down.
You're going to get fucking put down.
Yeah.
But the truth is,
we joke about that,
but here's the truth.
The truth is,
me and Chrissy
are very good friends,
as you know,
and so what's probably
going to happen
is we're probably
just going to drive up
to Poughkeepsie,
hold hands,
and Thelma and Louise
off a cliff.
Yeah.
And go together.
It's just what it is.
Yeah, we're going to go together.
We're going to go together
and it's going to be funny.
Cuz, do you want to just
drive off a cliff with me
Thelma and Louise style?
Yeah, I really do, Cuz.
Yeah.
I really fucking do.
Look, I got a lot of-
We're not doing any history today, is that just what it is?
We do what we want.
We do what we want.
We do exactly what we want.
Yeah.
Because we're two white guys.
Yeah!
Hanya apa adanya.
Just kidding.
But you need to come with the Wei Zhongxin as well.
Wei Zhongxin.
So today is just an episode.
The next couple episodes are going to be great because we're going to have guests.
But today, for anyone who's new to At History Hyenas or who's never been on patreon.com slash bayridgeboys, go hit that.
We usually do history, but sometimes we just go wild because this is also hyena.
So actually, you know what we could talk about today?
What about nature?
We never talk about nature, how the fucking, how it swung, how now it's 65 degrees today in New York, and it was a polar vortex four days ago.
You want to talk about nature?
Yeah.
I mean, here's the thing about climate change deniers.
First of all, just stop.
Stop what?
Just stop.
Guys, I mean this
from the bottom of my heart, alright?
I'm a liberal kid, but I'm really
more, I'm a very central kid. I'm a very
independent kid, because I'm a comedian.
You know, comedians, we view ourselves,
we don't really have a dog in the fight, because we kind of
watch society from the outside. Right.
But just putting comedy aside for one second,
you just gotta stop
with the kind of, you're just regurgitating things that you heard some charismatic pundit say about what climate change is.
And it's just, you're being manipulated by a certain industry who is dependent on making people question climate change.
Right.
All right?
making people question climate change.
Scientists are not the types of people
who manipulate
for financial gain like
you're accusing them. You're mistaking
climate scientists for
businessmen and
PR departments. That's who do that
type of shit. My first point.
My second point is, have you
even realized that you're denying
climate change scientists
findings with climate scientists findings what do you mean when you say this is just a natural cycle
the earth was born before you're quoting something that climate scientists have figured out yeah you
see what so so every single climate scientist that's respectable
thinks that we have a big fucking problem.
Here's the truth.
Tell us what the truth is, Yanni.
The truth is I'll be crystal clear on the hyena podcast.
Be crystal clear because you're fucking Yanni the Messiah.
You're here to spread the good word.
Yes.
The truth is 97% to 98% of climate scientists
and all ancillary scientists, whoever's in these peer-reviewed journals, agree on what is causing the climate change.
And climate change, again, is not weather.
It doesn't mean—
It's cow farts, right?
It doesn't mean colder or warmer.
It's a bunch of different things, meaning on average, yearly, the climate is one degree higher, two degrees higher.
And also what comes with climate change is these vast vacillations and tornadoes and wild extreme weather.
That's all part of it as well.
So that's almost 100% of relevant scientists agree on what's causing it and how much it's being caused.
Now, here's the thing most people don't know because they just listen to these pundits.
The ones who disagree only disagree about how much it's being changed and how much is due to human activity.
It's not that they deny climate change is happening.
Right.
And it's not that they deny that humans are playing some sort of role in it.
It's about the degree and what the solution should be.
The debate is about things like that.
The debate is not about if it's happening.
Because clearly the empirical evidence is what the empirical evidence is.
And I know we're living in a time where people think that you can say the world's flat and
all types of shit.
Girls or boys, boys or whatever.
It's like empirical scientific evidence.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
No matter what you want or no matter what your interest is, it's just.
Yeah.
So that's the that's the truth of the situation.
The 3% don't disagree that climate change exists.
They disagree on how much that climate change is, how much humans are responsible for it, what the potential solutions are for it.
It's nuanced disagreements.
It's not categorical disagreements saying this isn't happening.
Do you think we're going to see effects of it in our life?
We already are, according to the climate scientists.
And I recommend to the people who really are interested in this, I really recommend you do what I do, which is go follow actual climate scientists.
I love Twitter.
climate scientist. I love Twitter.
What I've realized about Twitter is Twitter can be a very bad
place because everyone talks shit,
but I don't really follow
people who seem like they
want to get famous for being famous anymore.
I follow
intellectuals.
Give me two follows
that people should be following.
Their names are always hard to remember, but
just go follow actual climate scientists
on Twitter.
A lot of them are on Twitter, and they're just actual climate scientists.
Yeah.
They're always Norwegian, right?
They're always from those places.
I mean, they're from all over, but I mean, you can go look at who I follow.
I follow virtually no comedians anymore.
I follow no actors or any of that bullshit.
I follow all interesting intellectuals, mostly scientists.
Because, you know, look.
You remember the kid who was good at math and science in your high schools?
Yeah, Wei Zhanxian.
Yeah, a few Asians or whatever.
But it's like those kids were never like the manipulative kind of scumbag kids.
No, they were just in the back.
They didn't bother anyone.
They just focused on the work, and they weren't trying to be popular.
To be a scientist, to want to be a scientist, first of all, you have to be born with sort of a natural aptitude to be able to do it because it's so hard, obviously.
Right. obviously right and then you also have to be born with such a love of truth that you're willing
to sit through the boring fucking minutiae of research right via the scientific method to come
up with that truth there's nothing sexy about being a scientist right it's really hard work
and it's boring it's boring and that's how much these people love figuring shit out that is reality and the objective reality.
They forego.
They love it so much.
They overlook how boring it is to get to the answers.
And we are severely disrespecting what those people have done for us in every other field.
I mean, these people are about to cure cancer.
They are fucking building robots.
Well, I don't know about that curing cancer one.
Because it's coming from a certain place that you don't trust.
Yeah.
No, I'm kidding.
That's a joke.
We lost Sandra Dee.
It was just a joke about Israel, but it was just a joke because I believe that they are
going to cure cancer, which is interesting to me because I always thought, maybe it's
bullshit, but I always believed they wouldn't want to cure cancer because the industry to keep people sick is so lucrative.
Right.
But do you think that that's just end of days type shit or that makes sense?
No, I think that's always.
I don't ever think that that's a categorical thing.
I don't think that's always like all dudes are doing that.
Right.
But I think there's always that element involved.
And that element usually is in Long Island where people are just criminals.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we'll get to that on our next episode.
Yeah.
Where are we in the mark?
Because we are fucking, this is an all hyena, no history episode.
Yeah, we're 40 minutes in.
We're doing good.
Yeah, I just don't want to be here.
Cuz, you say that every single episode.
Well, I just don't feel good.
I have a low-grade fever.
Yeah.
I'm coughing.
Do you think God is on the side of the Patriots?
I think he is.
Because we're talking about Tom Brady's won six, and he's been at this point to nine Super Bowls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, it's just hard.
Every time you watch a Patriots game, it always seems like they get these 50-50 calls and these little things.
I think the Saints would have beat them, but I think God intervened.
And on that play, that two penalties happened that everyone knew was a missed call.
God just said, you know what?
I want Tom Brady to get another one because I hate his wife and his baby that he left.
Yeah. I want Tom Brady to get another one because I hate his wife and his baby that he left. Yeah, and the Giants won because, let's be honest, even God knows that nobody cares about any other place other than New York.
The truth is that. That's just the truth.
It's like I know that there's debates about other cities like I said about Houston, where I blew a guy.
They said that Houston's as good a city as New York now, or Shanghai's like New York.
Nothing's like New York.
You have to just stop.
I'm going to say something that I mean, but it's going to be controversial.
And guess what?
That's what we do.
Yeah.
That's what we do.
Because make no mistake, you have hair all over your face.
Yeah, and that's the way you like it.
Like your eyebrows are connected to your beard, and you're just a hairy fucking Mongol.
Yeah, I'm kind of just an inbred Greek island you're a great kid yeah but with when i have more hair on my lap when i
have more hair on my face you want to climb in my lap you're a handsome fucking devil yeah my mom
said you're a handsome guy yeah well you know what lynn my mom's probably moving vegetables right now
watching my daughter yeah and i could say you know what, Lynn? I know I'm a little younger, but you know what the truth is?
I'm older than your son, so I'm actually not that much younger.
Yeah, the truth of the situation is-
The truth is, I'll have-
You could bang on my mom.
Yeah, the truth is, I'll come over with a lean cuisine, and things could get-
We move the vegetables a little bit?
Absolutely, because if you come over, if you come to my mother's house with a bottle of Sutter Homewine Zinfandel,
a lean cuisine, and the Bible, you're going to get a blowie.
And your mom probably has.
What?
Just do it for me so I don't have to say it, Isis.
What?
No.
Fumes.
Cuz, even I'm uncomfortable with this part.
We go wild.
Listen.
I just don't fucking care anymore, cuz.
Listen.
I've been in Ridgewood for the last two days.
I'm going to say something I regret, so stop this episode.
I just want to say generally, we do say wild things on here because we are hyenas.
Wild!
That's what comedians are supposed to and are known for doing.
Saying wild things.
We get kicked out of class and we're class clowns and then we grow up and we do the same fucking thing.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
We're trying to make you laugh and we're going to cross the line.
Yeah.
It's just chaos.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys where we have actual history podcasts up there.
And we have a lot of fun shit.
Oh, should we need – you know what?
Next episode we'll read all the Patreon members.
If you join our Patreon, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, we read your name out loud for the newest members of the matriarchy.
There's so many people that have joined that we're just going to read them all in the next episode, which we'll have with one of our guests.
First episode ever with a guest, which will be Tim Dillon.
That sounds good.
Now, let me ask you this question.
Have you tuned out on the NFL the way that you've tuned out on the NBA?
No, I like the NFL, but I just don't care anymore.
Like, you know, like it's all hypocritical bullshit to me.
Like, you know, when Cardi B says, I'm not doing the National Anthem, but then makes $500,000 hosting Robert Kraft's party. It's just like, it's all, I don't care.
You know, I love Cardi B, but I love Cardi B. She keeps saying she's going to dog walk these
Republicans on Twitter. And these Democrats are like celebrating it. HuffPo wrote an article
about it. And I almost feel like I want to call HuffPo and go like, do you know what
dog walking somebody means? Because there's such a progressive liberal outlet, you want to be like, you know where that comes from?
You know what dog walking is?
It's when a pimp puts a woman on a leash and walks her down the street as a dog.
Yeah, that's the kind of America I want to live in.
If you think that's charming, you're kind of, you're forgetting your identity, HuffPo.
You're supposed to be feminist intersectionallyally I don't even know what an
intersectionalist is do you
I don't know but I
support it because I look like
an undercover cop this is what I think
about football cuz and the controversy
what because what's happening with football
kind of runs with
a theme that we always talk about
which is kind of like the pussification of things
right it's like shouldn't there just be one sport like shouldn't with a theme that we always talk about, which is kind of like the pussification of things.
Right.
It's like, shouldn't there just be one sport?
Like, shouldn't football, instead of trying to hide everything and instead of trying to be like,
we're going to try to pretend that there's a way to make that game safe,
which there really is no way.
They can do a few things, I guess,
but that's not what the people like.
And like you said, this was the lowest rated Super Bowl of all time.
Yes.
So can we just be honest about something?
People love that sport because it's uber violent.
Yeah.
It's the most violent sport by far.
It's even more violent than fighting sports.
It's the same concept as some person from one race getting so offended if somebody says something about another race.
It's the same concept.
race getting so offended if somebody says something about another race.
It's the same concept.
These men are signing up, willingly playing professional football, wanting to hit each other as hard as they can for whatever reason.
So what right do we as the spectators have to tell them they can't hit that?
They can't do that.
That's what they want to do.
Nobody's putting a gun to that and making them play.
They want to play.
They know the possible danger
of it right so if you as a parent don't want your child to play football fine yeah but there's plenty
of parents that don't mind they don't care if their kid gets a concussion they just want them
to play ball so let them play ball and let us watch it and stop trying to fucking vanilla everything
like we should be able to curse on on cbs abc and nbc yeah just be able to curse
right you're creating this you know it's not real like i was watching that uh netflix documentary
abducted in plain sight about the mormons and it's like the mormons have this concept they have
their one of the fundamental beliefs in their religion is that everyone's good so what happens
in abducted in plain sight they let a pedophile sleep in the bed with their nine-year-old daughter because they believe he's a good man and it's for his therapy and healing to lay near children for some stupid reason.
He winds up raping the daughter.
Then he fucks the mom.
Then he fucks their mom.
Then he blows their dad.
So he's just a psychopath.
He blew the dad?
Yeah, it's a fucking unbelievable documentary.
It's called Abducted in Plain in plain sight it's so mind-blowing and the whole thing is people don't want they they're
pc you know they don't want to offend anyone so what happened your nine-year-old daughter just
got fucked and you just blew a guy in the back you're you're not even gay you just blew some guy
and you're not even in houston you just blew some guy in utah and then you let your wife fuck him
so you now you're a fuck now you you willingly let a pedophile come in and you're a gay fucking cuck.
Yeah.
All because you wanted to fucking believe
that, you know,
everybody is as good intentioned.
They're not.
Ridgewood Percy.
People,
people want to hit people in football
and the reason why your ratings are going down
is because you're not letting it happen.
Right.
Because guess what?
You know,
I want to,
yeah,
I don't fucking care about any of the other shit.
Kneeling,
not kneeling,
who's protesting, who's not. Those are I don't fucking care about any of the other shit. Kneeling, not kneeling. Who's protesting?
Who's not?
Those are political issues.
Get it out of the game.
I want to watch these guys fucking kill each other.
Yeah.
You know, you know, you know, it's a high rated.
You know, it's a high rated games.
When Joe Namath got his fucking leg eviscerated.
Joe Theismann got his leg eviscerated and could never play football again.
That's what we want.
Isis, when you name this episode, I know exactly what I want you to name it.
Are you listening?
I want you to name it.
We welcome back our guest,
Steel Pipe fucking Chrissy.
Yeah, cuz.
Making his second appearance on this episode.
I've been in Ridgewood for two days,
and I can't go back there too much.
Cuz you can.
Cuz I start moving some vegetables, and I get lit up. Cuz you fucking, I've been moving Ridgewood for two days, and I can't go back there too much. Because you... Because I start moving some vegetables, and I get lit up.
Because you fucking...
I've been moving a lot of vegetables, and I think I'm going to have to put you in rehab.
Because every time I take Theraflu, I just get a little racist.
It's just what it is.
So here's the thing.
I'm just kidding.
Wait, Sean Sheehan.
Here's the thing.
I agree with sort of...
What do you agree with? Tell me what you agree with and what you don't agree with on what I just said. All right. Because I'm not even making sense. I'm just kidding. Wei Shunxian. Here's the thing. I agree with sort of- What do you agree with?
Tell me what you agree with and what you don't agree with on what I just said.
All right.
Because I'm not even making sense.
I'm delirious.
I agree with the attitude.
I always love it no matter what you're saying.
I love when Steel Pipe Chrissy pulls the pipe out and starts fucking cleaning house.
Yeah, I'm just not as articulate as you because unfortunately-
You're a kid from Ridgewood.
I'm a kid from Ridgewood, Queens, and my parents weren't lawyers.
My dad was a compulsive gambler, and my mom is just a fucking-
Good, hardworking Catholic woman.
Yeah, who thinks that Jesus is her boyfriend.
So I'm not as articulate as you.
I didn't have the fucking opportunities you had.
I had to go to fucking Nassau Community College.
It's just KSO.
KSO.
But I think the NFL is worthy of critique for how they treat the athletes
and don't give them guaranteed contracts.
Sure.
And all the safety precautions.
All that stuff is good.
All that stuff is good.
But they should have really doubled down on this other stuff
and been like, look.
I agree with you in that sense.
Like, look.
That's what this is.
Yeah.
It's bad?
Yeah.
But that's what it is. Because now you can't breathe on the quarterback. Yeah. You know, it's like nobody lives, it's bad, yeah. But like, that's what it is, and, because now you can't breathe on the quarterback.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel bad for backup quarterbacks now, because they're never going to get in
the game, because the first string quarterbacks are never going to get fucking hurt.
They're never going to get hurt.
Because you can't breathe.
Tom Brady's going to play until 60.
Yeah.
Because you can't touch the guy.
Because when Tom Brady got his NFL start, he came in for Drew Bledsoe because Drew Bledsoe had gotten tackled so hard that his spleen burst.
Yes.
He got his internal organs burst inside his body and almost died.
Yeah.
That's the fucking, that was just, that was against the Jets.
Yeah.
Just a regular Jets game.
So it's like, I'm not saying, and look, I'm openly saying I don't want to do that.
I don't want to be a guy who doesn't have it but i want to watch it but there's plenty of men out there that
want to do that let them do it then who the fuck are you yeah just like when college college
athletes don't get paid do you know what disgusting is the coaches have millions and millions of
dollars and these kids can't get paid it's ridiculous it's fucking absurd and the only
reason why it keeps happening is because whomever
is in charge doesn't change the rules.
They're professional
athletes for your school and in
a lot of instances those schools are bringing
in as much money as professional teams.
If you go to Ohio State or
any fucking team in one of those markets
Alabama
Mississippi State
I mean Florida Gators I mean. It's not, Mississippi State, I mean, Florida Gators.
I mean, it's not fair that, you know, Duke University, like Coach K, gets millions of dollars a year and his players get nothing.
I mean, if Zion, you know, some of these players who never made the NBA or blew their knee out for all that work that they just did for the school that helped pay your contract, they don't get anything for that?
Yeah.
Throw them a million dollars a year, these kids.
Yeah.
paid your contract, they don't get anything for that?
Yeah.
Throw them a million dollars a year, these kids.
Yeah, and it is a little bit of a racial double standard, too,
because you look at a sport like tennis,
nobody ever complains about,
because I love how they make it think like,
this is good for the kids.
The kids need an education. They learn how to, it's like, dude,
Pete Sampras won Wimbledon at 17.
Yeah.
When you're a professional tennis player.
Serena Williams won it at 17.
Yeah, I mean, when you're a top nationally ranked tennis Serena Williams won it at 17 Yeah I mean When you're a top
Nationally ranked
Tennis player
You know I'm not talking
About Michael Costa
Who was ranked
And that's great
Yeah
I'm talking about
Top 100 in the world
Top 50 in the world
You're not going to college
No
You're not going
You're going straight to the pros
Yeah
It's what it is
Yeah because those kids
Are weak
Nobody says anything about it
And because that sport
Doesn't bring in Gazillion dollars For its dumb fucking liberal arts school, nobody cares.
So it's all rigged.
It's all gross.
Steel pipe fucking Chrissy's back.
And that was our fucking episode.
That was a good episode.
Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys if you want to be a part of the matriarchy and be a non-toot.
Because make no mistake right now, if you're listening to this episode for free, we appreciate it.
But you're a fucking toot.
When you look in that mirror, you see one word, and that's prostitute.
And congratulations to everyone in the Massachusetts area.
You got another one?
Listen, I don't want to hear you complain at all about not having a good,
because you've been a dinosaur.
Let's be honest.
Congratulations to all the people in the Massachusetts area,
but congratulations to all the states that vote Republican.
Your team won the Super Bowl.
Have a good day.
I'm going to go suck your dick.
Peace. បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបរូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Bye.