History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 59 - Oheka Castle Is Wild!!

Episode Date: March 10, 2019

Chrissy D and a newly married Yannis talk about Oheka Castle where Yannis' just got married! WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas. We have an extremely special episode for you today i'm chris di stefano aka communist chris d and with me for the first time in history we have yanni one cock nobi pussy hat poppas special needs stamos the lists go on and on. Yeah. Mr. Married. Yeah.

For the first time ever, married Mr. and Mrs. Giannis Pappas. Sorry, boys. I'm taken. Yeah. I'm going to call you Mr. and Mrs. Giannis Pappas. That's what it is. That's a funny thing to call you. Because I do have a male and female living in my brain.

Yeah, 100%. I could be married to myself at any point. I do have a male and female living in my brain. Yeah, 100%. I could be married to myself at any point. I could have a conversation. I could have a husband-wife argument just at my own table. Yeah. I'd be like,

listen, Yanni, you took me all the way here to put me to Park Slope and now you're not going to take me to Westchester? Listen, Marissa, I'm only dating you so we can double date with Chris.

It's what it is. Yeah. Because if I was dating Marissa, then we could definitely have a double date with your baby's mama. Yeah. Oh, my God. My baby's mama would love Marissa. Because if I was dating Marisa, then we could definitely have a double date with your baby's mama. Yeah. Oh, my God.

My baby's mama would love Marisa. Because make no mistake. Yeah. If I got drunk enough, I'd bang out Marisa. Because make no mistake, you were a groomsman this weekend. Because I was a groomsman, and it was an honor to be in your wedding. And it was one of truly, it was at Oheka Castle. I can now say it publicly, because I didn't want to say the name, because I know Chris

the teacher would show up with a shotgun. He already knew where it was. Yeah, he knew where it was. Somehow he did research. Kids creep. Kids creep. Just kidding. We love you.

We love you, Chris. So I knew. I didn't want to say it live, but it was at Ohika Castle, and it was truly one of the best weddings I'd ever been to. And I'm really happy that at the last minute you chose not to invite Zach Isis because that would have ruined it and we actually got married really Greek Greek Orthodox style

yeah they just sing everything huh that was the first time it's just every but even like hello welcome to the Greek church

you tell me the Catholics don't do that we don't sing every word no because we're busy sucking cocks yeah but you do hit a lot of and then the virgin said unto him christ you don't do any of that no okay yeah because the greeks they sing everything and before me we are here with yanni you and me and britney and they and now yeah i like the part where he goes and god put a woman on earth because

from his rib yeah when you hear that you're going like do you really believe that father yeah and then he kept saying things like that took me out of it when i heard that part and it was weird and he was like you know and and even like seeing like who like the bishop was he was like and we have bishop nico stacca hocus like it's like just the it's not like it's like just some guy and then he's saying um and then i like the part when he said um uh and hopefully their match their marital bed will never be desecrated yeah it's like yeah hope they basically was saying is hopefully yanni doesn't bring a fucking toot back and banger in your marital bed that's the way they used to say it back in ancient times

yeah hopefully this day doesn't go and get a gumare. A gumare. But I have to say, your wife, Brittany, look, beautiful. She's a piece. Yeah. And you're just a lucky guy. And it was a really fantastic wedding. A couple of comedians got a little smash, and it was a nice buffet. Going to a wedding, for all comedians, is just a buffet. It's a platter of mental illnesses.

There's going to be a few mental illnesses on display. It's on display. You know, we had a couple of our friends bring PlayStations. I mean, we're grown men. We had a couple of our friends get so drunk that they didn't even make it to the reception. We had a couple of friends not give gifts. We had a couple of friends, you know, take the bus there. It's like, what are you doing?

We're at a wedding. My friend Manolis, who I love very much from Canada. He's legally retarded. Let's just be crystal clear. Okay? I could say that. I'm a health professional. I mean, no disrespect.

I'm talking about if you measured his IQ. In your professional opinion. In my professional opinion, if I measured that man's IQ, and it's fine. It's no knock on him, but I just will say a state, a scientific fact,

his IQ would be in the zone of legal retardation. Well, he had white Adidas socks on with his shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Ari Shaffir wore white converses with his suit. He did. And he showed up with an arm cast. Yeah.

And he's a millionaire. He's a multimillionaire, I'd argue. Yeah. And Manolis had no way to get from the church to the reception. So he just hitched a ride on the bus with us. Yeah. He just got on the bridal party bus i mean it was so funny and he's wearing a jacket with a duke's a hazard pin on it

yeah i mean it was just so funny because everybody on the bus was like who's this guy now and it looked like we picked up a homeless person outside of the church you have to because make no mistake yeah you have to do a lot of babysitting in your life i I do. I mean, but no less you brought on yourself. That one, the other ones you had no choice. Yeah. You know, like your brother shit his pants on the dance floor. It's just what it is. That's how we know it was a good time.

My brother Nico shit his pants on the dance floor. I mean, it's a 10 out of 10. Yeah. I can't believe. He was dancing his ass off and he just shook a little shit out of his ass. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. And then at three o'clock in the morning.

He's a good hearted kid. He's a good hearted kid. At three o'clock in the morning he's a good hearted kid he's a good hearted kid at 3 o'clock in the morning I found him wandering around the castle because he left the hotel room and instead of taking his room key

he took a business card and he just couldn't get back in his room so we went down to the front desk and we got him back in his room and he just sat up

well you did you did you did a really friend thing yeah I brought you did a because you're a good fucking kid

yeah I'm a good hearted kid and let's be honest I'm a good hearted kid. Yeah. And let's be honest. Yeah. I'm a good hearted kid, but the only reason I really did it is because I had already cracked something open. Yeah. So you were done for the night. My balls were drained.

I already glued somebody down. Yeah. So I was good to just help guys with special needs get back into their room. Yeah. I mean, yeah. My brother was in his tuxedo pants, make no mistake. The underwear he had thrown into the waste bucket in his hotel room, and he was fucking free-balling because he had shit his pants on the dance floor. It's just what it is.

It's what happened. That's how you know how good a wedding was, that my brother shit his pants. It's not a fucking wedding until somebody shits their pants. Yeah, somebody shit their pants, and I'm sure- And he continued to do sambikiko. He was dancing Greek with shit in his pants. I, somebody shit their pants, and I'm sure And he continued to do Sambico. He was dancing Greek with shit in his pants. I fucking loved it. And let's be honest,

I bet you I'd be willing to bet money Joe Bartnick also shit his pants. He was fucking ripped. Now this is a true story, not even a joke. Joe Bartnick, he pre-gamed he pre-gamed the wedding with a six pack of Miller. Let me tell you what happened. The kid's from Pittsburgh, he's Italian. He's not the classiest kid walking the earth. He's not the classiest kid. But he'spack of Miller. Let me tell you what happened. The kid's from Pittsburgh. He's Italian.

He's not the classiest kid walking here. He's not the classiest kid. Let me just... But he's a good kid. You finished your story, but just because you weren't there, he went from the church. He came in. He was kind enough to come to the ceremony, which I'm sure you like to see your friends who actually came to the ceremony. It's like, that's just another level of class when they actually show up to the Greek church.

And Andrew Schultz showed up wearing a Miami summer suit. Yeah. Andrew Schultz came up like he was golfing at St. Andrew's Golf Course, and it was a black tie event, and he claimed he didn't know, but let's be honest, that kid screwed in. He's got a fucking yarmulke underneath that hair. He screwed in, and he wanted the attention on him, and it fucking worked because everyone was looking at him in his suit,

and he got pictures with a few toots and more Instagram followers. So fucking Shabbat shalom, chalamat to fucking Andrew Schultz. Yeah, he's always thinking in content. He's always thinking in content and good for you. He's a smart kid and we love him. But in between the church, the ceremony ended about 3 and then the reception was until about 6.30. Verzi's wife went to, it was Joe Bartnick's idea, went to a 7-Eleven off the side of the highway in Long Island and got a 12-pack of Miller Life and a bottle of $7.99 wine and a little bottle of Crown Royale.

So that's what was going on in Mr. Verzi's room. Yeah. He was giving the Miller High Life, and I asked, I said to Joe Bartnick, I said, would you like me to give some money down for these Miller High Life's because I'm just taking free beers. And he goes, this isn't Englewood. Just take a beer. Where did you go and drink with him?

Can you give that away, Sean Sheehan, please? Yeah, he's an Italian kid from Pittsburgh. He's going to say a few, we're not in Englewood. It's just funny. Yeah, where were you drinking beers? Paul Verzi and his wife's room. Oh, that's why you guys disappeared during the pictures. Me and Brittany were taking pictures.

Yeah, because they said we had an hour, so Paul sent a text. You guys cracked open a couple of Miller Highlifes. Cracked open a few Miller Highlifes, and we did a couple of shots of Crown Royal. By the way, I'd also like to say, Paul Verzi's a 10 out of 10. Paul Verzi's wife, Mrs. Verzi, 10 out of 10 top-notch woman. Top-notch. The top-notch women at that wedding, I mean, you had Mrs. Versi, top notch. Brittany Pappas, top notch.

Francesca Salvocano's wife, top notch. Top notch. Liv Sergio's wife, top notch. Top notch. Top notch ladies. Some real women in there. You had some top notch ladies. And then you had a hooker or two that wound up in my room.

And it's just what it is. Yeah. We need to just cackle over that. No, I'm getting the ruling from Isis that it's just what it is. Yeah. We need to just cackle over that. No, I'm getting the ruling from ISIS that it's just what it is. It's just what it is. Yeah. I don't know what language it is, but I know it's just what it is. Well, I said, yeah.

What was that? That was Esperanto. What the hell is that? I don't know what that means. I have no idea. All right. Is that like an Eskimo language or something? Probably.

You're getting creative, though. Yeah. It was a fun wedding. Great wedding. It was definitely a beautiful ceremony, and I think this is the first time in the Greek Orthodox Church's history that when the groomsman was standing on the stage, because there was two lines, there was one of the groomsmen, Chrissy Cackles,

who really looked like he was waiting for the national anthem to play. Yeah. You sway back and forth like you're about to rip that suit off and get on the court. Yeah, I wanted to. You can't stand still. I was waiting for him to throw the opening tip up, because I was going to go jump for the tip.

And I have to be honest with you, looking across, I won't mention the names, but a couple of those bridesmaids that I was looking directly across. Cracked open and cleaned out. There's one of them that can get cracked open and cleaned out. Yeah. Holy shit, can she get fucking cracked? We were taking photos down by Auto-Con's pool, and Chrissy farted, and we laughed for 20

minutes. Yeah, I let her. Even the father, the bride was there and he's a foot surgeon. He was dying laughing. He was dying laughing. The only one who had a problem was your gay brother who was like, who did that?

That's what he said. He had a little bit of issue because make no mistake, because let me just tell you something. My brother's gay. Yeah, your brother's gay. Classy kid though. Yeah, and guess what?

He pretended to listen to you a few times. Yeah, and let me tell you something. He's lucky that I'm a sociopath too too, and I know he was half caring. Because if I was a little turned off and if I had a few in me, guess what would have happened? At your reception dinner? You would have cracked him open and cleaned him out. Peter would have got cracked open and cleaned out because he was paying attention to me. And cuz, make no mistake, I'll do anything for content.

And it would be funny to crack your brother open for the Patreon. Yeah. Now you're thinking like Andrew Schultz. Yeah, that's what we got to do. Yeah, because... Because your brother hates you and nobody knew it except me. He just made up that he loved you at his wedding speech and I know he fucking hates you because I've seen the text.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we got into a big blowout right before. But what are you going to do? We're brothers. It just happens. It just happens. Everyone's under love. It's just what it is. You know, you'veout right before. But what are you going to do? We're brothers. It just happens. It just happens. Everyone's under love. It's just what it is.

You know, you've said it before. Your brother, Nico, is the only one with a pure heart. You and your other brother, pieces of shit. Yeah, we got pieces of shit that should be, you know, that should just be drawn and quartered

and sent to the corners of the kingdom. And your brother's got the good beating heart. But, you know, it's what it is. Yeah, because my parents had their own business. So on occasions, I was raised by an illiterate Greek woman who spoke no English and couldn't read or write. Her name was Yulia. She was really smart and wise in other ways. But make no mistake, she was a Greek villager.

And she would sleep in the basement sometimes because my parents sometimes would work until 12, 1. Sometimes on occasion, my mother would sleep at the office. Sometimes it would work until 12. Once, sometimes, on occasion, my mother would sleep at the office. And she would. And she said that when my mother was old, the only one out of the three of us that would bring my mother a glass of water was Nico. That's it. Yeah.

The other two of us. She confirmed to my parents that me and Peter are pieces of shit. Yeah. Yeah. And I could say, yeah, Nico's just a good kid who just, he loves a can of Coke and he loves to shit his pants. He loves to shit his pants. He loves sweets.

He loves law and order. Yeah. And he loves cranking it to the bridesmaids. It's just what it is. I get it, cuz. You saw him drinking Diet Cokes, huh? And he's been in South Jersey so long now, he calls them Diet Cokes. He goes, can I get a Diet Coke?

Diet Coke. Can I have a Diet Coke? I loved it. I loved the wedding, man. You look great in tux. Cuz he didn't sleep a wink because he didn't know where his suitcase was. So he was obsessing over his suitcase, and he just watched Law and Order all night. He did not sleep

because all he could stop, couldn't stop thinking about where his fucking suitcase was. Yeah, let's be honest. When he said to me, when I found him at three o'clock in the morning and he was wandering outside and I got him back up to his room,

he said, I was just waiting for Peter to bring, I was just waiting for my older brother to bring me back my suitcase. And I said, let me tell you something about your older brother. Let me tell you something about, let me tell you something about your older brother. Let me tell you something about your older brother, Nico. I said, I'm going to get you into this room,

but your brother's not coming back because he's on Grindr right now. So he's probably in some other town just catching a blowy, and he's a top-shelf gay. But make no mistake, he doesn't care about your suitcase right now because he's looking to get banged out. So I'll get you in this room, and then you just sit up and you watch law and

order and you do what you need to do i'll see you at breakfast in the morning because we look like a couple of pieces though where are we gonna have good looking fucking trans kids yeah no because you i've got to be honest you and britney you looked it you're such a great looking couple and you two up on your on your days it looked like you said, regal. It looked like a king and queen. She looked phenomenal and you looked like a fucking piece. Yeah, because let's be honest. Now that I'm married, I'm screwed in. You're screwed in.

And she what? And she got cracked open. I mean, you know, it's just what it is. We all knew it was happening. Everybody knows. Because your Chrissy should be Patreons. That's your new nickname is Chrissy. I'm Chrissy Patreons. Can't save it for the Patreons. Yeah. That's your new nickname is Chrissy. I'm Chrissy Patreons.

Can't save it for the Patreons. You just let them fly. I just let them fly. But it's a funny, interesting thing. Because if you're a stranger, meaning most of the people that listen to this, you benefit a lot from listening to our podcast. Yeah. If you happen to be in our lives, you're just going to be pissed with us.

You're just going to be pissed off. gonna be in our lives yeah you're just gonna be pissed with us you're just gonna be pissed off because chrissy goes it's chrissy green lights and there is no fucking brake pedal in his car i'm just going it was a funny thing cuz i was thinking about it during the wedding i just told everyone who listens to our podcast that my wife got cracked open and cleaned up by me but i know but everybody assumes she's my wife so it's the wedding night and we knew it's like it's an interesting thing to think about like obviously i'm a dad me and paul were talking about because we have girls it's like on our daughter's wedding night like we just like she's gonna get cracked open and there's nothing legally a father can do anymore it's like he just knew he just knew when he saw you two going up in that

elevator after the wedding that she was just gonna get cracked open and he couldn't do anything about it because yeah i had to clean my wife out yeah it's just what it is yeah yeah so everybody knew it and it's just it's great i'm sure she appreciated because you know she's because my my wife wow i gotta get used to calling her my wife because you got a ring on your finger right now yeah and it's just it's it's taken a little bit to get used to i gotta be honest with you it's taken a little bit for me to get used to that ring yeah and you know now that i got two feet in New York City, I'm pretty confident I'm a straight kid. Yeah.

Because when I was in Long Island, you can't be sure if you're a 100% straight kid. You never know. Because Long Island kids, what they do is they take out their insecurities and they put it on hating minorities. It's just what it is. So when you got two feet Long Island, you can push down gay right with rationalizing that you know you're taking it out of minorities because long island kids that's just how they are right but when you got two feet in the city you're back in a diverse situation and you can't fucking push down your

insecurities like that so the true you shines and i felt like a straight kid when i got two feet back in the ridge so i think i'm leaning straight just Just like my politics. I'm left, but I'm more straight, but I lean left. I'm center, but I lean left. So I'm straight, but I lean gay. Yeah, you're straight, but you lean gay. It's what it is. And I'm the opposite. I'm straight.

Just Republican. Yeah, I'm straight, but I lean German. It's just what it is. Can I get a Wei Shan Qian, please? I mean, Zach, what the fuck are you doing? Because let's just be honest, there was about four or five comics at that wedding who pretend to be Democrats but are hardcore Republicans.

Yeah, let's be honest, there's also a couple of weddings, there was also a couple of comics that didn't need to be there, okay? I'm talking to you, Alexis. We should add Ted Alexandro, it's what it is. We should have had Ted Alexandro It's what it is Because I really feel bad that Ted Alexandro should have been at that wedding Were you in Ted Alexandro's wedding?

No I wasn't You weren't invited I wasn't But I should have invited Ted I love Ted Alexandro He's a fucking stand up good guy Yeah And I shared a good experience with him

In South Africa He came to South Africa Yeah When I did those shows it's okay and and you know what he ted is just a real guy yeah ted's a ted is a real person in this world right with a lot of phony people and it kind of makes me sick to my stomach that i didn't invite ted alex it's okay did what now because i i'd say because you had a couple of dropouts um that you could still invite him and just be honest. But Brittany said you can't do that. Brittany vetoed it. Yeah, because Brittany knows the class thing to do.

Yeah, and Brittany just didn't know that Joe Bartnick was going to bring a stranger to my wedding. It's what it is. But it was a fucking, I mean. It was a 10 out of 10. It was a 10 out of 10. The food was unbelievable. Yeah, it was a Greek wedding. We did some Greek dancing.

Chrissy cleaned out. I got actually i got married actually in a castle i mean ohika castle is a castle which is what the episode is on today the history of ohika castle because it's wild it's a history of ohika castle and the history of its fucking uh founder and its uh benefactor and the person who owned it and lived in it, and his name is Super Jew Otto Kahn. German Jew kid. A German Jew kid? Gross. Born in Germany originally. Well, his parents immigrated to the States, but then they went back

to Germany and had him. So he was born in Germany, then he came to the States, but he grew up in Germany, then he became to the States, but he grew up in Germany, then he became a British citizen, and then after that, he became a United States citizen. Because when you're rich, and you're a banker,

and you just make a lot of money, you can just become a citizen of whatever country you want. It's just what it is. He's a citizen of three fucking countries. Yeah, money could just do whatever. Now, I heard that the reason why he built that, because when you see this residence, when you see Oheka Castle, what I saw-

We've got to tell them where it is. Well, it's in Long Island. It's in Huntington, Long Island. Huntington, Long Island. So when you see it, first of all, it's the second largest private residence in the United States, still to this day. It's the second largest- Built private residence.

Built private residence. Who's the first? Was it Carnegie in North Carolina? It's somebody in North Carolina. Yeah. Can you look that up by a second Who's the first? Was it Carnegie in North Carolina? It's somebody in North Carolina. Yeah. Can you look that up? I think it's Carnegie, North Carolina. Okay.

But what I noticed was initially when I stepped in there, I said, whomever built this, if this was just for one man, he was motivated by hate. He was mad at something and someone. And then when you told me that the reason why he built that was because the country club down the street didn't accept him because he was a Jew, it all made sense. He built that to be like, fuck you. I don't need this. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not completely sure if it was the country club in Long Island. Well, I mean, this is the history of Hyena, so we're going to say what it is. But I'm pretty sure it was in Jersey because he lived, I think, in Morristown, Jersey. I'm pretty sure it was in Jersey because he lived, I think, in Morristown, Jersey. And he was trying to like, but it was like super anti-Semitic there. And they wouldn't let a Jew join the club over there. So he went over to Long Island. And yeah, he built that place as a fuck you.

He had his own golf course, his own farm on there, his own fucking landing strip. The kid had a landing strip. We could fly his fucking private plane. And we're talking about the turn of the 20th century. Talking about the early 1900s. Kid fucking, he was a refugee after the German Revolution. His parents left after the German Revolution. The Khans, they left. They were emigrants and refugees from Germany.

But little did these Jews know that there was going to be a bunch of Jews who were going to be trying to get out in a couple years because of Adolf. Yeah. Jews just have a raw fucking deal. And for some reason, it's really wild. Fucking people just keep going after the Jews. I know. Well, you know. They kind of do their own thing.

And you got to admit, Ari Shaffir is kind of right. They're just kind of smarter and they just kind of crush it. Yeah. And it's just what it is. And people kind of hate them because they're head of the class and everyone just kind of crush it. Yeah. And it's just what it is. And people kind of hate them because they're head of the class and everyone hates head of the class. Yeah. I mean, Ashkenazi Jews, I mean, already confirmed that they are just a little bit smarter.

They have a higher IQ. And that's true. It's just, that's just true. You know, it's just true. That's just true. I, he didn't even know that. I told him that. He's like, really?

He's like, it makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. They did a study in Ashkenazi Jews. Yeah. As far as groups go, have the highest IQ of all people.

Yeah. And then we, but the thing is, you go, have the highest IQ of all people. Yeah. For some reason. But the thing is, the world needs to be balanced because then when we went downstairs to the man cave when you were upstairs with your wife after the wedding reception, we all went downstairs to Otto Kahn's man cave that he had built in the- I don't know if that was his. They might have put that in later. No, but the guy said that it's obviously been updated and it's modern with pool tables

now, but that's where he would go. Oh, he smoked sticks down there? Well, I don't know if he smoked sticks, but he would hang that that, you know, it's obviously been updated and it's modern with pool tables now, but that was his, that's where he would go. Oh, he smoked sticks down there? Well, I don't know if he smoked sticks, but he would hang out with his guys and there was like his little parlor. And he would have, that's where he would have his boy. Because look, when you're that rich, let's make no mistake, you're going to have a couple of slave boys there that you bang out. Yeah. Because it gets weird when you get that rich. Yeah, so he would just fucking bang out a few little slave kids there.

And then, but, you know, because, you know like as you said um you know ashkenazi jews like ari shafir have a higher iq but they have lower immune systems because once we lit up those cigars he started coughing and smoking and then and and and his eyes got all watery and then he got an uber left he had to leave ari yeah yeah yeah but because you know he's just didn't have the jury because they snivel you know give me a little yeah i mean zach you have, I mean, if you don't do it, here's the deal. Whenever he says anything Jewish, you got to remember he's a German kid. So we need like a resounding Weishanchen. Yeah, because Zach just, he doesn't, again, like we've said.

He lets the Jew statements just fly. Every other nationality, anything anybody says, he's like, okay. This is now this versus this. Yeah. He gets Weishanchen. That was German though. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. But for the Jews, he just, too much. That was German, though. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.

Oh, yeah. But for the Jews, he just, because he's just. We make a Muzzy joke. We make a Muzzy joke. He's right on it. Yeah. He's right on it. And if I say, look, Muzzy's a fucking repressive, regressive idiot.

He's all over it, right? Yeah. But if you say, hey, Jews are snivelers. There's silence. Yeah. Look. Yeah. Because he doesn't know what,

he doesn't understand the problem. He's like, oh, what, is that bad? I thought they were. He goes, now these guys are finally talking. Yeah. That's what he is. Yeah. That's when he checks back in.

Yeah. He's just completely, he just sees, he hears a statement in his mind. He goes, period. Or he goes, exclamation point. Yeah. That's another button he wishes he had

was exclamation point. Yeah. He has to be told. Yeah. He has to be told. Now Wei Zhong Jing. And he's going, okay, guys, I had was exclamation point. Yeah, he has to be told. Yeah, he has to be told. Now Wei Zhong Jing. And he's going, okay, guys, I didn't get the joke. Yeah, but I'll do it because you're paying me an extra $25 to not fuck up.

Cuz, this is the thing Zach Isis needs to know. We're a couple screwed in Jews right now. Cuz, by the way, as this podcast grows, Isis is going to grow with us. Yeah, it's going to grow with us. But if he gets another fucking finger tattooed, we're going to replace him with a kid who's got clean hands. It's just what it is. Because on this Marriage Monday, I got to be honest with you, you have got a full head of hair. The most hair I've ever seen you have in your life is today on this Monday.

This is the first full day. Because yesterday doesn't count. We were just recovering. This is the first full day. I'm Yanni Husbands. You're Yanni Husbands. Did I look cute at my wedding? You look cute

You look fucking jacked out In your tuxedo I did Yeah You look jacked out And my wife was an absolute 100% fucking piece Peace

Yeah she hasn't eaten a carb Since last year Oh yeah She's just been drinking mustard Yeah she's just been Yeah She's been drinking mustard And that's it

Yeah I mean she just put Mustard on lettuce For about one year But it's funny It's funny that Today she had three cakes and 14 bagels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This morning, yesterday morning when we were at the breakfast, I said, you can finally eat now.

She said, yeah. She opened up our breakfast on the first day of her married life. She opened up with two slices of cake for breakfast. It's just what it is. Yeah, she's. Because she loves sweets and she's got to push it down. And she's got a lot of willpower. Because she loves sweets like I love sweets.

Yeah, she pushes down. Like you push down the gate, she pushes down her love for sweets. Yeah. But make no mistake, today's her birthday. So I'm not out of the woods. Is she back at work yet, or is she still off? There's flowers and a card waiting for her right now in a house that looks like it got ransacked by burglars.

It's just what it is. Yeah, the house is fucking retarded messy right now. Is she at work? Did she go back to work today? No, she took today off too. That girl's just taken the last two months off for her wedding. Yeah, she has. It was an event. You're rarely going to see a wedding that good.

No, it was great. The food was phenomenal. That food was great. I heard a lot of comedians were making the jokes about it and it's hilarious because Derek Jeter almost had his wedding there. So people were looking around going like, this place was almost good hilarious because Derek Jeter almost had his wedding there. So people were going looking around going like this place was

almost good enough for Derek Jeter. It's like that's how nice about it. He was looking up at ceilings going if they were only like two or three feet higher this would have been perfect. If the grounds were just a little more ornate it's just that's how nice it was. Almost nice enough for Derek Jeter.

Which is pretty god damn nice. It's a beautiful place to get married. Brian McKnight got married there. Joey Fatone got married there. One of the Jonas Brothers got married there. And the Robo Cheese Man, a.k.a. Peanut Head Pappas, got married there this Saturday night past. So, yeah. Yeah, that's what it is.

I'm a married kid. Yeah, because it was great. The cocktail hour was like crazy. Yeah. I've never seen that much food in my life. Yeah, I mean, you had an Italian station, a Greek station. What do they do with all that food after they're done? Do they throw that out or do they give it to the homeless?

No. What do they do with all that food? They throw it out. They do, right? I'm sure some of the workers have to take it. So American. Yeah, I'm sure. But it's just american they just dump it on the lawn yeah and let fucking uh cougars and uh yeah and uh

coyotes probably come and just eat whatever's left some of the workers have to take it though i mean have to they have to i mean it's all that beautiful food i mean it was just like a i mean that the cocktail had the dessert room. The dessert room was something of legend. You're not going to see something like that ever again in your life. No, no, no. It was like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, I hit tiramisu. I hit two slices of tiramisu.

You let loose because your balls were drained. My balls were drained, so I went back down. Your balls were potato chips. Potato chips. I hit the tiramisu. I hit two slices of cake on the tiramisu. I hit the chocolate cake. I hit one or two cupcakes. And then what else did I hit? And then I hit a cannamisu. I hit two slices of cake on the tiramisu. I hit the chocolate cake. I hit one or two cupcakes.

And then what else did I hit? And then I hit a cannoli. Yeah. Yeah. So I got hit. Yeah. And then in the morning, I had six, I'm not lying to you, six waffles with three scoops of whipped cream on each.

Yeah, you let go. Yeah, the whipped cream was fantastic the next morning. Yeah. It was fantastic. I had a few cigarettes. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Yeah.

And we promised that he was going to stop smoking cigarettes um once he got married but he had one today it's what it is because my friends from college todd and jamel were there didn't give you a wedding gift unfortunately uh todd spent most of his wedding being upset because when he was in the bathroom somebody who was in the bathroom mistook him for the bathroom attendant oh shit it just it really ruined his experience

and we just can't determine whether it was racist or if it was just it happens because the kid was dressed in a tuxedo what do you think given it's Long Island and there was Italians and Greeks there I think there's a good chance it was just flat out racist. I think, yeah. Yeah, I mean. Yeah.

I think it's, I would lean that that was probably, unfortunately, towards racism. But, you know, I think it wasn't, I don't think it was malicious, but it's just Long Island. It's just Long Island shit. They live in a, Long Island's a different country. It truly is. If you were listening to this and you're not from New York and you have no familiarity with Long Island. It's just Long Island shit. They live in a... Long Island's a different country. It truly is.

If you are listening to this and you're not from New York and you have no familiarity with Long Island and the difference between Long Island and the rest of New York, Long Island is behind Brooklyn. It's like Brooklyn's fat ass. Right. Imagine Chrissy D is New York City and that big Aunt Jemima ass on his backside, that's Long Island. Yeah.

Now, you're never going to go from the butt to the fucking Viking head because it's just too far to travel. Because make no mistake, if you've ever seen a profile of Chrissy D, his body's in one room and his butt's in another. It's too far to travel, so they just don't leave the island. Yeah. Plus, the traffic keeps them in there because the traffic's too much. It's too much.

And you've got to go through the whole island to get out anywhere. And you really see it. And there's only... It's pretty much much it's like its own country it's its own country and there's all there's only blacks in about three or four towns on the whole island yeah the rest of them is just where italy the italian americans have retreated yeah yeah it's just where they retreated to so there's there's a there's a tinge of racism out there it's just what it is just a tinge and it was just out in that castle so unfortunately i think that's probably what happened the whole island votes votes Trump. Yeah, 100%.

They don't even learn the issues. They just go, we're going red. Yeah, we're going red. It's Staten Island and Long Island go red. That's just what it is. I will say the only thing that I will say, if there's any constructive criticism on the wedding, is how little Ohika Castle cared about the groom and the groomsmen. I mean, they just don't care about the guys.

It is so funny. Yeah. When wedding venues are thinking about their Yelp reviews, their Yelp reviews for the future, they don't care. They know no grooms. They know no grooms are looking up reviews to hear other grooms go, hey, they just let us stand in a hallway and not know what to do for an hour. They know the only people reading those reviews are brides.

And they're only hearing reviews from brides. So it's like everything is done for the bride, from the photographers to the flowers to the DJ. Everyone we talked to before this wedding barely even makes eye contact with me. They don't care. Because they know I just don't matter. And Chrissy will tell you what happened when we got there. It was fucking 10 out of 10 hilarious. I'm getting married on that day.

We showed up and it was like, boom. Yeah, it was just like, we didn't know what to do. We didn't know what to do. We didn't know where to go. We were told specifically because I, make no mistake, make no mistake, Brittany, Giannis' wife, sent us an itinerary and a schedule that two days before that had to be.

Every fucking detail was lined up, okay? I mean, the only thing missing was the swastika on that thing. She had fucking rules and regulations that you had to abide by. Because she was Himmler. Yeah, because she was Himmler. Make no mistake, you weren't going to be allowed into the wedding. So I paid attention to every fucking detail. Because you're German and it was right up your alley. It was right up my alley right on my a little bit of a creeper when you saw that fucking itinerary yeah because that's how you

are you're built like 13 minutes of boxing research four minutes to bang out this dude who flew in from chicago three minutes to play with my daughter 10 minutes to say what's up to yanni get a smoothie bite my nails for four minutes and then do 15 spots and then also go back and take list because i need fall off wild yeah um so uh you're a german kid i'm a german kid and it said specifically um to be there at 9 a.m to to start to get ready and take pictures and their breakfast will be served in the groom suite so we get to the groom suite there's no breakfast they don't even have our bags there so we don't eat anything. Wait a second. Just tell them. I went, we put the suitcases on the thing, and I said, hey, yeah, we just stood around in the lobby for a second, and I go like, and I was like, do you know who we're supposed

to, and he goes, who are you? I go, I'm the groom. He didn't even react. He goes, oh, you're supposed to check in. So they made me check in at the front desk. Like, I'm a fucking kid from out of town yeah i mean i'm this castle's gonna be mine tonight there's nobody else here yeah it's all about my wedding i'm the groom you know you gotta go check in at the desk so they would check in at the desk and then they

give they give us the groom suite which was fucking hilarious it was an empty one room fucking hotel room meanwhile she's up in the bride's fucking suite yeah that's where me and her stayed it's 15 rooms it was beautiful rooms with the views of the garden with three decks i mean four bathrooms a hot tub heated floors i mean if you saw the difference between where she was getting ready and where we were getting our fuck where we looked like we were getting ready looked like a one bedroom in Sunset Park. Yeah, it really did. And there was no food or coffee.

There was no food or coffee, which they said would finally, by the time it got to about 1145, when we have to get ready to go to the reception, all the crews were like, we got to eat. And then make no mistake, what they showed up with was a few turkey wraps and a couple of Cure pods of coffee that make no mistake. The manager told one of the valet guys, just start looking in trunks for food. A few turkey wraps and a couple of curic pods of coffee that make no mistake, the manager told one of the valet guys, just start looking in trunks for food. And that's what they found. Yeah. Because they just came up with a few globs of mustard and a few turkey wraps, which one of them was half eaten, and they just threw it at us.

Yeah. I mean, they brought food. Imagine we were all working at a car wash, and the car wash decided to have an office party. Yeah. That's what the food was like that's what it was that's what it was like well it was like when you go when you go to like auto zone you're waiting for your car and they just have food and coffee out that's what it

was just in the waiting room and i'm the group he was the grill because when we when they threw us in the library they put us in the library for pictures we were in the library where there were other people having meetings about whether they were going to book ohika castle yeah yeah yeah it was they didn't care about us it's so funny how like that i noticed that i noticed even the next morning at breakfast like we're all sitting down and they're just moving in more people to take a look at the space yeah they're like we don't care you guys are done you have your money yeah that's it yeah so it's funny but other than that it was a fucking 10 for the night was great because you have the whole fucking thing. But yeah, the wedding is all about the bride.

That's all is cared about. The groom. Basically, I'm just an extra in her movie. Yeah. She is the CEO. The marriage is her company. The wedding is her company. Yes.

And she is the CEO of that company. And we are all just measly employees. That's all we were. Of her fantasy. We were just employees in her business, but it was great. And make no mistake, I will tell you 100%,

the castle was haunted. I got to be honest. Yeah? Haunted castle, yeah. Yeah, we talked about it. It's a Jewish person that owned it, so what happened? Did you fall asleep?

And you're a German kid, so you know they came out and they went boogie, boogie, boogie, boo. Yeah. How you doing there, Nazi face? We're here. Yeah. Yeah.

You remember me? Yeah, you thought that food that you ate before wasn't kos How you doing there, Nazi face? We're here. Yeah. Yeah. You remember me? Yeah. You thought that food that you ate before wasn't kosher. Guess what, Nazi face? It was kosher. Tricks on you. You just ate Jewish food. You just had a little bit of salmon.

But guess what? It was kosher. I was blessed by a rabbi. So boogie, boogie, boogie, boo. Because with your face, you scare Jews. Because did I look fucking Did I look cute In that tux

Cuz I don't You fucking You look like a cute kid And making no mistake It took us about four hours To get that bow tie around That fucking Medicine ball head of yours

Yeah my bow tie Kept flipping the other way Cuz my neck Just kept pushing it over We had to use Marco Cuz Marco was the only person Who was tall enough To have a vantage point

To see how he could maneuver That bow tie around your head. This is a true story. We could not get that bow tie. I'm not joking. No, it's true. We could not get the bow tie around Chris's head. You got a big fucking head and a big fucking ass and a weird dick.

It got to the point. It got to the point. Your feet are broken. It's what it is. I got genital warts. Your feet are broken. It's what it is. I got a genital wart.

Guys, it got to the point where we could not get this bow tie around my head because my head's just too big. That Giannis was contemplating texting Brittany to ask if we could go no bow tie. I mean, that's how serious the situation was. Yeah, I mean, it was the bow tie. I almost changed the wedding. Yeah, it was a pretty funny situation because we couldn't get your bow tie on. Ched destroyed his bow tie because he's too anxious and twitchy. Yeah. And he's got to smoke cigarettes and, you know, whatever.

He just undid his bow tie. He just undid his bow tie and ripped it apart. So there was a point we were actually going to figure out if we were going to go no bow tie, which Brittany would have came down and killed everybody. Yeah, she would have actually shot people. You know what's interesting, though, cuz? Yeah. You know what I felt the day before the wedding?

I felt something very interesting, right? I was driving to do Gotham, you know, the VR show that I host every Thursday. Yeah. And I was driving there and I had this feeling. I realized, so the day before my wedding, or before the rehearsal, I was like, I've never felt that valuable to someone. Yeah. Because this wedding is Britney's dream since she was a little girl.

Right. And we're almost there. She's almost there. She's worked hard on her body to get into that dress. Right. The whole thing. And I was like, if I just crash into this wall right now, I could ruin everything. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. And I figured even if I put myself in the hospital by driving into the wall and had full body paralysis, I guarantee you she would have ran into that hospital, stole my body, and just had me held up like Weekend at Bernie's to fulfill the dream. Nothing was going to get in the way of what was going to happen. No chance. Yeah.

If I was dead, she would have just got the closest thing that looks like me, Pete Lee. Yeah. And she would have said, you're Greek now, Pete Lee? And just, you're Giannis. You're Giannis. It's just what it is. Yeah. And he would have went, ookie.

I'm from Wisconsin. Yeah, because I was thinking about that, too. Let's just say a groomsman died. Somebody just died. Brittany, there would be a tear shed, and then the show would go on. The show would go on. Nothing was going to stop that. Brides are cold right before the wedding.

They're fucking cold. It's also a great time to kid, if you're a criminal, kidnap a groom. Yeah. If you kidnap a groom the day before the wedding, everything's been paid. Yeah. I guarantee you, whatever ransom you ask for, she's going to pay it. Yep, I agree. Because that kid has to be on that altar.

It has to be. She will pay that ransom. Her father will pay it. Yep, I agree. Because that kid has to be on that altar. It has to be. She will pay that ransom. Her father will pay it. He'll pay that ransom. I don't know why more grooms don't get kidnapped right before the wedding. Because how's Britney's pops feeling right now? Bank account might be a little light. Yeah, a kid-

That was an expensive wedding, but the kid's got some cash. Were there some mob guys out there? I didn't notice any mob guys. Were they there? Did they show up? Yeah, I mean, that's not for the free, you know. Yeah, Chrissy Cackles. Yeah, we don't talk about all that right now yeah but i mean we're not naming names no we're not naming names and we're just staying away from it i'm fine yeah but it's long island so you do the math damn yeah her father's sicilian you do the math

yeah it's what it is because long island yeah i mean you know whatever it's just what it is you know it's another thing about ohika Castle and Otto Kahn. He was actually the inspiration for the Monopoly Man. Which is crazy. It's wild as that. Yeah. I mean, he was an interesting cat. I mean, you're talking about this guy had his hand in railroads.

Yeah. That was big industry back then, the railroads. Yeah, I mean, the guy had a landing strip on his property. He built Ohika Castle, which is huge. He built it to be extremely fireproof, which is funny because after he died, the military academy, it was a military academy for a little while, and then it was like a sanitation workers retirement. Which is hilarious. Which is hilarious. Old school New York sanitation garbage man just going out to that Ohika Castle.

Yeah, just sitting there playing cards. Yeah, just like, look at this fucking place. Wow, look at these ceilings. They play a poker. One of them go, can I get a water? Yeah, can I get a water? Yeah, can I get a water? Yeah, in the fucking castle. To think about garbage men in that castle is a 10 out of 10.

Yeah, Gus, look, you owe me $20 from the poker game yesterday, but while we're at it, can you pass me a water? Yeah. Yeah, kids were drinking coffee and they were talking about the good old days. Yeah, talking about the Yanks. Talking about the Yanks. Look, we did what we could with these rats, but these fucking rats on the ground, there's nothing you could do about those things.

Yeah. Those things, you know they said a few times, those things is like Chinese. Those things is like Chinese. There was a... They said... I guarantee you, because it was in the 70s when the sanitation... Can I get a fucking Wei Shangqing, please? Wei Shangqing.

I guarantee you this was said, and this is just historically accurate, so it's like a play. I'm just going to say what they said, because I know they said it. I guarantee you, in the 70s, they were in there watching the Yankees on, and they said, Reggie Jackson, even though he's a Moulin, the guy can hit. Wei Shangxian. There's no way that didn't get said. That got said.

Yeah, we talk about former sanitation workers. That's just what's going to happen. It's just what those guys said. That's obviously a fucking racial slur, and it's a Wei Shangxian, Wei Shangxian. But I just wanted's going to happen. It's just what those guys said. That's obviously a fucking racial slur. It's a way shunchian, way shunchian. But I just wanted to be historically accurate. Those New York sanitation workers definitely said that in the 70s. Am I wrong? You're not wrong.

They said it. I know they said it. There was a few racial slurs. If those walls could talk, we would hear a couple racial slurs. Yeah, it's just what it is. It's just what it is. But before it was a sanitation retirement home or whatever it was, in a military academy,

it was one of the homes to the fucking multi-billionaire banker, Otto Kahn, who was the German kid, but he was Jewish. But he was Jewish. And good for fucking him for building that shit because there were a bunch of anti-Semite losers. He made that as a statement. Like Chris said, you could tell. It's so grand and lavish.

It looks like a chateau. His pool's fucking sick. He definitely had toots over in that pool. 100% he had toots. And it's one of the, I don't know if you guys have ever been there, if any of the listeners have ever been to Versailles in France, the palace of Versailles, King Louis XIV's palace. It reminded me of that. Like the gardens, it looked like Versailles. Well, you roll up in that pathway.

It's like lined with trees. It's so gorgeous. Then you roll up to this cobblestone entrance. It's a castle. It's a castle. And then there's like grounds like Versailles. I mean, the gardens are like lined with trees. It's so gorgeous. Then you roll up to this cobblestone entrance. It's a castle. It's a castle. And then there's like grounds like Versailles. I mean, the gardens

are like Versailles. Those gardens were bulldozed and then recreated by the people that bought it now and operate it now or whatever. They lost it. You can go Google

the whole history of Oheka Castle. We're going to talk about a lot more in-depth, like a lot more fun facts behind the scenes stuff if you go to patreon.com slash baywatch.

We're screwed in. We're screwed in because yanni's married now and make no mistake guys make no mistake like i said two two episodes ago right now if you go to patreon.com slash bay rich boys and be a part of the matriarchy be a part of the cackle be a part of the cosmo unity that's we're doing all the behind the scenes stuff that's where if you're a true blue fan because right now if you're listening to this episode for free, you're a toot. You're a prostitute. It's what it is. If you join the Patreon and you have cleansed yourself, you've doused your body in witch hazel, and you are non-toot.

Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We are finally at $40,000 a year. When we get to $100,000, I will show a picture of my open asshole. No, Chris. And Giannis will have a video of him putting Zach's toes in his mouth for three seconds. It's what it is. No, you're not going to put a picture of your open asshole on the Patreon. Then I'm going to put a picture of my colonoscopy report up there.

That's better. You can do that. I got videos of that. Yeah, you can do an x-ray of that, but you can't spread your ass cheeks and put that on the Patreon. But what if we just get, if Zach gets. And I don't even know why you're saying that. Because, but what if Zach gets the camera lens right up into my hole and just takes a picture there? You can't tell the difference.

No, that's not, that doesn't fix the situation. Well, can I post a picture of my butt? Yeah, but let's save that for a thousand. Okay. But not your naked butt. No, 100,000 a year. Not your naked butt. No, 100,000 a year.

100,000 a year, but yeah, we're not going to do naked. We got to think. Zach, I just have toes in my mouth for three seconds. That's a good one because that's fucking gross. Yeah, it'll do it. I'd rather jump out of a window. Yeah. So we have to think. Zach Isis's toes in my mouth for three seconds. That's a good one because that's fucking gross. Yeah. I'd rather jump out of a window. Yeah. So we have to think of something that you.

What about I'll do toes in your mouth. I'll do a video of. Let's think of something that you would really make you uncomfortable. I'll reenact me getting skull fucked. No. I'll have the abuser come. No. Just hit me.

I figured out what we're going to do. What are we going to do? When we get to. What do you want to say? Hundred thousand. Hundred thousand dollars a year. Hundred thousand dollars. So we're at forty thousand dollars a year. What are we going to do? When we get to, what do you want to say? $100,000? $100,000 a year. $100,000 a year. So we're at $40,000 a year.

Yeah, we're at $40,000 a year right now. We got to do it more by Patreon numbers. We have 497 Patreons. So you want to say 1,000 Patreon members? When we get to 1,000 Patreon. Because that would be probably about 100,000 anyway. When we double our Patreons to 1,000 a year, what we're going to do is we are going to take Chrissy over to Andrew Schultz's parents' studio. And he's going to do a whole ballet dance to Debbie Gibson music.

Done. It's just what it is. I'll do it. A whole routine that his mom. In spandex with my tit out. In spandex in a fucking tutu. Yeah, with my tit out. With your tit and your fucking, yeah, no top,

just a tutu. No, no, no, I'll put a leotard on so you can see my tit. Yeah, we want to see the tit and bare feet. Yeah. And we'll get close-ups of the feet and the tit.

Yeah. You're going to lose a few tuts, but you're going to gain a few views and then a couple months will go by and you'll get some new tuts. Cuz, make no mistake, I forgot to tell you this, last night for the first time

I did yoga. You'll be a tutu. A tutu. So now I'm Chrissy Yoga's. I forgot to tell you this, I'm Chrissy Yoga's. I got a tell you this. I'm Chrissy Yoga's. I got a private yoga instructor that comes to the house.

So she came to the house yesterday. And you cracked her open and cleaned her out. I did not crack her open and clean her out, but I probably will. But I did not crack her open. But you have to do yoga.

You have to take your shoes and you have to take your socks off so you can feel the energy of the ground. And make no mistake, 30 minutes into the yoga session, she made me put my socks back on. She didn't want to see them.

Well, she said she claimed that it's because she thinks it might be- But she saw them moving without your feet moving. Yeah, because my feet, well, because I was getting sweaty and my feet were sliding because I didn't have a yoga mat, she said, put the socks on, it'll be better grip, but I know it's because my feet were gross. Yeah, your feet look broken. It's just kind of what the situation we're talking about is. Because if I start doing yoga, though, and start getting flexible, I mean, it's going

to start to get unreal. Yeah. I'm Chrissy Yogus. What do you mean? Because why don't you start coming to these classes with me? Boxing, yoga. I think I'm going to start coming to boxing for the workout. With Paulie Yessi?

First, I've got to quit smoking. No, I'm just kidding. I don't smoke. I want one now with this coffee. Yeah. Because I was going to say, let's go get some fucking salmons after this, but you've got to take your wife out for her birthday. When are we going to start the Patreon All-Star Teamstar team draft can i just say one more thing that was 10

out of 10 funny thing and we can calculate this out if not but it was just funny and britney probably knows the truth anyway is when you were supposed to write her a letter when you were supposed to write her a letter about like and it was supposed to be like a whole video thing it was supposed to be ready and prepared before you even got to the council the photographer came over and said britney wants to proofread that letter and you're like, I have to go up into the room and get it. And all the groomsmen knew the reason why you said that is because you didn't write it yet. And so you ran up to the room and wrote it, but cuz, make no mistake.

It crushed in the room. It's a fucking poem, and it crushed, and Brittany couldn't even make through because she was crying. Cuz, make no mistake, you're very good at fooling people with your vocabulary. Yeah. You're very good at that. That's why if we have an empire, you know I'm going to be the Caesar. Yeah. And I'm going to have a harem, and you're just good at that that's why if we have an empire you know i'm gonna be the caesar yeah and i'm gonna have a harem and you're just gonna be my jester yeah i mean you're gonna come in and you're gonna fart you're gonna jiggle that butt for me and then

you're gonna go back in the box but what because but now i'm a boxer i can throw hands you're gonna have to use me in the field yeah because i could throw hands you can't throw hands so you will be used occasionally if we're fighting anyone except the blacks because the blacks will knock you out yeah i'll get knocked out yeah because you're just a clunky white guy journeyman for black guys to fucking practice on before they fight each other it's just what it is it's just what it is i'm on the varsity b team because you're a division 15 legend yeah it's what it is you kept telling people that i played basketball because you kept telling you kept telling people that i played basketball now my college is all-time leading scorer.

And it's embarrassing for you to tell people that because then you have to tell them what school it is and people are like, what is that? I've never even heard of that. And then Marco said, I think I drive past it. I thought it was an apartment building. But it's a college. Yeah, make no mistake.

Marco played Division I. And he was a Division I. All-conference, all- Academic All-American. Academic All-American. He played professional in Europe. He's a great kid, Marco. He is top, top notch.'s a great kid, Marco. He is.

He's a really just- Top. Top notch. Class, class, class guy. He is a top- Does he listen to the Pottywaddy, Marco? I don't think so. But he probably supports the Patreon.

Well, him and Chet, I told them to be Patreon members when they started, and they just still are Patreon members, but they don't even know what it is. Yeah, Chet doesn't know what's going on. Yeah, I mean, you know, Marco- If Chet doesn't sell me a BMW, I'm going to throw him off the fucking roof. Well, you can get one whenever you want, you know what I mean? Yeah doesn't sell me a BMW, I'm going to throw him off the fucking roof. Well, you can get one whenever you want. You know what I mean? Yeah.

He runs what he runs. So it is what it is. What it is. When are we going to do the Patreon Dream Team? Well, I mean, we got some really funny messages that I'd like to read. Here. Here. Let me tell you some of the things that are going on on Patreon because it's just, there

are 10 out of 10 messages and I like to do. Oh, by the way. Did you see this picture I posted on Patreon of me in my tux by the piano looking like a goddamn piece fucking piece I'm a piece of ass

you are really a fucking kid cause there's one picture that's gonna be going up on Patreon only of Chrissy D sitting in my lap

for the last time yeah in our tuxes um yeah what are you looking for I'm just looking for the message that let me just say now that we've announced that we're going to be doing our voice like patreon dream teams people are really

bringing it because look at the last comment on our patreon is from rob twinkie mcstinky winky yeah people are fucking bringing it right now because lisa johnson uh queen matriarchy matriarchy patreon member from almost day one commented wrote a post about your wedding she wrote it's titled the fumeless wedding and she said on behalf of the matriarchy we would like to bestow a basket of witch hazel and several ass cleaning products as a token of our appreciation make no mistake your wife is a piece and deserves a husband with a 100% clean ass. Yeah, that's what it is. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Poppess.

Well, let me tell you what Rob Twinkie McStinky Winky says. Yeah. He says, Chris D, draft my piece. Yeah. He says, Chrissy D, I want you to pick me first like you did the cool kid when playing fifth grade kickball. Make no mistake, I'm a gay kid with a girlfriend of multiple years but secretly I really want to

transition into a woman and take dicks like a turd. He goes, draft me up and I can be your low spores and shoot threes and suck D's all day. If you're wondering about my jump shot, make no mistake, I might be a white kid but

I did two years at Florida A&M, so my jump shot is wet like a jerry curl. So yeah, draft me. That's fucking 10. He's just been drafted. Yo, cuz, yeah, we're going to have to do, when do you want to do it, next week? Let's do it next, we will go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys if you want to enter in to the first ever cackle draft.

Yes. The Matreon draft. Patreon.com slash bayridgeboys Boys and we're going to draft teams and it's just going to be fucking dope. Why don't we have them post why they should be drafted? There it is. Zach, for a muzzy, you're a screwed in Jew.

You put your yarmulke on for that one. I was just about to say that. Post just like I just want to say his name, but just like Rob Twinkie McStinky Winky did. Yeah. Go post on our community board why either one of us should draft you so we know you're there.

Yeah. And we're talking all 500 of you almost right now. Post on our page. We'll read them all. And me and Chrissy, next week, we will start our Patreon All-Star Draft team. And then once we get our teams together, we're going to start doing competitions

that we will tell you about. And we'll do points. And there will be consequences for me and Chrissy based on if my team win or his team's win. One of the things may be I have to put ISIS's toes in my mouth. That's what it is. And you may have to fucking hang out with a Jew for more than two minutes. No!

It's one. It's one. And we will do that on the free episode that goes on iTunes, not just the Patreon-only episode. Before we start to read, before we read the new members of the Patreon who have taken the plunge and become non-tuts and went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, this message was funny for me from Talia Valkanos. She said, my coworker has a client named Bert. Bert called my co-worker today. My co-worker picked up her phone and said, hey, Bert, and make no fucking mistake. It took everything in me not to yell across the office, your mom's a toot.

Happy No Fumes Friday, matriarchy, from the most Franks and Beans. Hey, Bert. She said, happy No Fumes Friday, matriarchy, from the most Franks and Beans. Early on said Greek P pseudo penis loving engineer on the East Coast. Gotta go douche with some witch hazel so I can get cracked open and cleaned out this weekend. Wei Zhangxian. Yeah, she's a PPW nominee and she's not even a new Patreon.

It's funny when girls say that they gotta get cracked open and cleaned out. Yeah. It's just a funny thing. Look, I got a DM yesterday. I can't remember the kid's name. I apologize. Maybe I'll say it at some point but he made a good suggestion he's a patron member and he said in in addition to trying to guess these people ethnicity and what their lives are like he thinks it would be great if we guessed how much they donated okay based on their name based

on so let's start that this week we saw and speaking of donations we just want to give a personal shout out And we will We're going to tell you about it in a second But we just want to start off I just want to start off this list With a personal shout out to our first $100 Patreon member

Our small business level It goes Vidura aka Gained Off The Brown Aka Low Budget Aquaman Aka Chocolate Jesus, who joined at the $100 level on our Patreon from the capital of my homeland, Berlin, Germany. Wow. But he was born and raised in Sri Lanka, where the weather's always over 90 and Asians are never safe.

Real talk, he said, I love the show. And when you guys mentioned the small business support thing, I thought I'd go ahead and jump on the non-tube train let me know the details so what we're going to need from you Vidora and we're going to contact you personally is what business you want us to shout out we're going to shout you out every fucking episode your business is now a sponsor of our podcast

our podcast is brought to you by our business so ISIS is going to reach out to you you send ISIS the copy the bullet points you want us to hit about your business. So ISIS is going to reach out to you. You send ISIS the copy, the bullet points you want us to hit about your business. We're happy to sponsor it. And we thank you for your service for being a fucking non-tute sponsor.

Thank you so much. And we're also going to send you a funny personalized video just for you. And that goes out to anybody out there who's got a business, a small business, a large business

that wants to actually sponsor podcast. That's what we have available for you for $100, that wants to actually sponsor podcasts, that's what we have available for you for $100 level. It wants to sponsor our podcast. And that video is going to go up on mine and Chrissy's, all our social media platforms. Our main Instagram page. Everything. Also, the personal ones, too.

So combined, you've got $250,000. $250,000, including Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. No, we're talking about maybe 500k maybe 500k it's going up and you keep that video forever but make no mistake you are a official sponsor of history hyenas and we are in a symbiotic relationship and yeah yeah okay and cuz so make no mistake we're gonna what we're gonna do for the first time ever on the episodes is we're gonna guess the ethnicity and we're gonna guess the amount of money but make no mistake we do have to move quick and because it's champagne problems we got now we got a lot of patreon members we got a lot of people

that joined so we got to get through it well that's the problem that the german likes to talk or because you like to move fast and just think of it as you're pushing these people into the oven yes let's make it quick i want to do it quick Because I gotta get a kielbasa Okay Mike Hublitz Mike Hublitz? Yeah Well let's start off With a fucking German kid

And I would say Since he's German And he's wee He's going for the ten dollars Because he fucking wants To stalk Nikki Glaser No Well yeah

You were right He's probably German But he's a cheap fuck And he only gave five You fucking cheap fuck I'm gonna put you in the oven Don't you know for 10 you get to fucking listen to the interview interview episode you're having a seizure you're fucking

dumb fuck next up aaron f gonzalez that's a kid make no mistake his job is to snow sell snow cones in august on the streets of washington heights And he gave $25 because, make no mistake, he's a fucking Puerto Rican kid looking to try and get up and get some attention from Chrissy because he thinks that maybe Chrissy will support him. He gave $5. Build the wall. Oui, son, sien. You were sitting on that one.

Yeah. Because you were sitting on a fastball. Yeah. You knew the pitcher on a fastball. Yeah. You knew the pitcher was throwing fastball, and you swung and hit it out of the fucking park. It's what it is. Matthew Carlin. Matthew Carlin. Wow, that is a good Irish kid.

And I'm going to say he's going for $5. $5. Yeah, he's a dumb fucking Irish kid. He needs money for booze. Billy Antonucci. Billy Antonucci, listen. Sounds like the girl I banged out. Billy Antonucci's gonna go fucking $10, and not only he did not put it over to Patreon,

he sent it in an envelope in cash. Cash! He did send it in an envelope in cash, but he only went five. Yeah, you fucking cheap goddamn wop. Yeah. Can I get a Wei Shangxian? Wei Shangxian. Fucking greaseball. Can I get another Wei Shangxian?

Wei Shangxian. Justin Isaacs. Justin Isaacs. Justin Isaacs? Wow. Wow. This is a really white Patreon right here. Yeah. He's a white.

He's a Jewish kid. Isaacs. So I'm going to say he definitely tried to give $1. Yeah. He gave $5. He gave $5. Yeah. Yeah.

The lowest you can give. Come on. You know you're a fucking descendant of Otto Kahn. You got money. Give us a little bit more money. Yeah. Chris Diaz. Chris Diaz.

Wow. Wow. Chris Diaz. That is definitely a Puerto Rican kid. He's not Dominican. He's not Mexican. He's a Puerto Rican kid. He's not Colombian because we don't get all specific.

He's a Puerto Rican kid. And make no mistake, he's a plumber. He's a good fucking plumber. He's a cute kid. And he gave $10 because he wants to hear the Dan Soto episode because he's a Puerto Rican kid, and make no mistake, he's a plumber. He's a good fucking plumber. He's a cute kid, and he gave $10 because he wants to hear the Dan Soder episode because he's a fan of professional wrestling and kids who are almost Franks and Beans. He gave $5. You fucking cheap fuck.

You fucking piece of shit. Go get on the bus. We appreciate it. Okay, love you. Anthony Robles. Anthony Robles, another German kid? R-O-B-L-E-S. Robles.

Oh, he's a wasp. Bad. And his email's snoop.robes. Snoop.robes. So he's a wasp. Bad. White kid. White kid.

Good old wasp. White Anglo-Saxon Protestant kid who grew up with three sisters. He's pushing down the gay hard. Yep. Okay? That's a kid who's really, he grew up like you. Sometimes he likes to sit like a Sphinx cat. Yeah.

And he went 10. He went 10. Yeah! Yeah, finally! Finally! We got a kid with some family money. Yeah. Next up, Thomas Dowd Warren.

This guy's got three names and a hyphen. Okay, whatever you see three names, there's make no mistake, that is a kid who has had money in his family for a long time. If he's not $25, I just want him to cancel his membership. Yeah. He's full of shit.

He gave $5. You fucking inbred. You fucking descendant of slave owners. Yeah. Piece of shit. Okay. Next up, Yanni Greek by Procreation Esposito. PPW nominee.

Definitely a Greek kid. Hilarious Greek kid, which means he still lives with his parents. Make no mistake, he sits behind a cash register all day. At a diner. Yeah, make no mistake. He's got a cross that's made out of palms. Yeah. And he's got an icon over his bed.

Yeah. And he gave $5 out of his parents' wallet. That's all correct. He gave $5. Yeah. Next up, Irving, look for me outside of Home Depot, Sandoval. Because we're going to have a tough time drafting these kids. Yeah. Next up, Irving, look for me outside of Home Depot, Sandoval. Because we're going to have a tough time drafting these kids. Yeah.

Okay, Sandoval. Sandoval, in the major leagues, what's his name? Pablo Sandoval. And where's he from? Pablo Sandoval. Is he Venezuelan? Or Dominican? It's all the same to me.

Yeah, I know. To you. Yeah. To Ridgewood, it's just fucking the other side of the wall. Yeah, it's just what it is. You actually call them Nightwalkers. Yeah, they're Nightwalkers. You Ridgewood, it's just fucking the other side of the wall. Yeah, it's just what it is. You actually call them Nightwalkers. Yeah, they're Nightwalkers. You actually call everyone on that side Whitewalkers.

Yeah. That's actually 10 out of 10. That's 10 out of 10 for you. Yeah, you could, but yeah. So Irving looked for me outside of Home Depot, Sandoval. What do you think he gave? I think he's a Venezuelan kid, and I think that he gave 25 pesos. No, he gave $10.

$10? That's pretty good. We appreciate your contribution. Thank you. Next up, Daniela Barraza. Oh, Daniela Barraza. Make no mistake. She's the type of girl who, if you want to date her, you're going to have to fucking meet her parents.

Yes. She can cook you a good sauce. She's an Italian girl. She's living out on the island. She thinks she needs her passport when she comes to New York City. Yeah. And she gave $5 just to get Chrissy D's attention. She gave $5 because, make no mistake, she would give $10, but she's not through nursing school yet.

Yeah. Yeah. Next up, Tim Murphy. Tim Murphy. That guy sounds like a cop. He's a fucking good Irish kid. Tim, I think he's going to give about fucking $5. He gave $5. You're right. He's a fucking good Irish kid. Tim, I think he's going to give about fucking $5. He gave $5 to your ex.

You're a fucking good Irish kid. One name, Sal. Sal. It's probably Sal Vacano in disguise. Yeah. His email is nefarious006. Nefarious006 Sal. Okay, he's an Italian kid.

Yeah. He loves his mom. He loves his aunt. Yeah. He loves his mom and his aunt. Yeah. He takes him to church on Sundays. Yeah. He definitely gets his eyebrows Yeah. He loves his mom and his aunt. Yeah. He takes him to church on Sundays. Yeah.

He definitely gets his eyebrows threaded. 100%. He makes a decent CD. Yeah. And he went for $5. He went for $5. He would go for $10, but he's got to fix his Toyota Celica. Do you $5 people know that you are not getting...

Are you guys just going to wait for the interview episodes like a bunch of fucking toots? You're waiting for the free interview episodes once they get released. Aren't you anxious to hear Nikki Glaser? She's a piece. She's a piece. And Andrew Schultz screwed it. Screwed it. Next up, Romina Savale. Romina Savale, another Italian girl. Definitely

she's a piece. She's definitely a piece. She straightens her hair every morning. I'm going to say she went for $5 because both her parents are dentists she actually went for $10 dentists I was right

but I should have went $10 those are our true fans we still love the $5 next up Bianca Mendoza you know Bianca Mendoza I want to bang it out that's the type of name I like she looks like a piece up Bianca Mendoza. Bianca Mendoza. You know Bianca Mendoza. I want to bang it out. Yeah, she... That's the type of name I like. She looks like a piece.

Yeah, when you hear Mendoza, that is 100% Puerto Rican. Wepa, wepa, wepa, wepa, wepa. And she gave, make no mistake, she tried to pay in coconut cookies. Yeah, she gave $5 and a bottle of Coquito. Okay, next up, we got two cute kids from Westchester. Okay, that's two cute kids from Westchester. What did they give? So they definitely tried to impress Marisa, so I'm going to say they gave $25.

They gave $25 and they split it, which is hilarious. Oh, that's right. We talked. These are the first two kids that went Dutch on our fucking Patreon. They just split it. Yeah. Those are screwed in fucking it yeah those are screwed in fucking kids the screwed kids yeah make no mistake they're paying 12.50 each yeah yeah

okay next up donnie america donnie america oh wow first of all we know how he votes yeah yeah so what did he give okay first of all his name's donnie in america so he's a he's a maggot kid yeah um and he's from the heartland. Yeah. And he gave, he's fiscally responsible. Yeah. Because he leads right. Yeah. So he gave five bucks and he wants to see how it goes.

No, he gave, actually he gave $10. Wow. Yeah, he's probably a proud alum of Covington High. Yeah, because he knows this is a Republican podcast. That's what it is. Wei Zhongxin, please. Wei Zhongxin. Come on, we got to speed it up.

Yeah. Next up, Cody Jarrett. Cody Jarrett, Jewish kid. Come on. Half Was Jarrett Jewish kid, half wasp He gave $5 Next up, one named Benson Benson? Yeah, he's got a cowboy hat on Benson is a kid from Texas He owns a horse

He has a chewing tobacco problem And the kid gave $5 He gave $10, thank you, howdy I should've known one name like that He's a fucking cute kid Mike Ahern Is it chewing tobacco problem? And the kid gave five bucks. He gave ten bucks. Thank you. Howdy. I should have known one name like that. He's a fucking cute kid. Mike Ahern. Mike Ahern?

Ahern. Ahern. That's a German. Oh, yeah. What did Mike give? He's a German kid, and he gave us $25. $25. Yeah. He's making a mistake.

Wasps run the world. That's what it is. Yeah, yeah. So he gave $25. His birthday party, people were wearing masks. Lauren Manuel. Lauren Manuel? Mm-hmm.

I'm going to say she's a French girl with French roots. She's from New Orleans, so she knows about Creole culture. And she gave a nice $10. She gave a $10. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Lauren. Alex F. Soto. Alex F. Soto.

Wow. Hispanic kid, probably from Colombia. And I'm going to say that kid went for five he went for five good kid next up vidura rajapaksa what the fuck is that vidura rajapaksa portuguese no vidura rajapaksa oh well we can't that you can't even do that voice anymore you can do it there's no problem no i'm gonna tell you why give me guess there's you can't it. There's no problem with the pool. Vitora, now I'm going to tell you why. Give me a guess. You can't do that voice because we have a problem with the pool and you can't do it because nobody from South Asia

talks like that when they come to this country. They talk normal. They don't talk like that. So I'm going to say he gave since he's Indian and I watch Russell Peterson and I know how cheap they are, he gave $2. No, Vitora gave $100. Get the fuck out of here. This is Vitora Gandalf the Brown Chocolate Jesus.

Yeah. Yeah. South Asian kids are the best. Vidora, thank you for giving $100 and fucking going to Snake. Next up, Wei Zhongxian. Oh, he's going to be our... Wei Zhongxian. He's the new king of the matriarchy.

Vidora is the fucking king of the matriarchy. He's our Gandhi. He's our... That's what he is. He's our Gandhi. He's our... That's what he is. He's our fucking Gandhi right now. He's our first small business sponsor, and make no mistake, he's made history.

Once we find out what his business is, we'll fucking promote it. Because make no mistake, for giving $100 a month, I would let Vidura bang me out. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Because you're screwed in.

I'm screwed in. Next up, Terrence Holland. Terrence Holland, finally a black kid. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, I. Because you're screwed in. I'm screwed in. Next up, Terrence Holland. Terrence Holland, finally a black kid. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Yeah. Big hubs.

Yeah. Yeah. Finally another black kid. We love our black kids. Yeah, I mean. And so he's going to... I'm saying he went 25. He gave five beans, son.

All right. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Stephen Corcoran. Stephen Corcoran? Wow. Okay. So Corcoran, we know he's a wasp. He's related to Barbara.

He's got a lot of family money. If he didn't go 25, I want him out of my life. He gave $10. Okay, so Corcoran, we know he's a wasp. He's related to Barbara. He's got a lot of family money. If he didn't go 25, I want him out of my life. He gave $10. Okay, that's good. That's good. Okay, Steven, so we appreciate your 10, but you better fucking do what's right because we know your family's got money. Fucking wasp.

Next up, Katie Way, who looks like a... That's her ethnicity is fucking peace. Peace. It doesn't matter. She's for Rome, and the girl gave five, and she's fine with five. She gave five, and she has no fumes. Yes. Next up, Dylan Wasbrook.

Yeah, well, we got a hardcore wasp. I'm going to assume it's 25. He gave five. Okay, well, let me tell you something, wasp. Give 25, because we've got a lot of black kids listening to this, and your fucking forefathers were slave owners, and you need it for reparations. Yeah. listening to this and your fucking forefathers were slave owners and you need it for reparations next up erica philip f-i-l-e-p or philippe something like that okay so her roots are

french yeah so she's from france and i'm going to say since french people don't eat a lot and they only drink coffee all day i'm gonna go she go. She gave $2.50. She gave $10. Love you, Felipe. Love you. Next up, Jeff Farmer, a.k.a. Steel Pipe Jeffrey. Good old heartland kid. He's a good kid. That's a Kansas kid.

Yeah. Got a decent sense of humor. He's built like a fucking brick shithouse, but the kid can only afford five bucks a month. Exactly. Last but not least. Because all the jobs are overseas. That's what it is. Last but not least. Because all the jobs are overseas. That's what it is. Last but not least, Joe Marinacci.

Joe, wow. Can you just repeat that name, but do it correctly? Joe Marinacci. Exactly. Can I get a glass of water? Yeah. Can I get a glass of water? Yeah.

Yo, Joe, can you pass me a glass of water? Yeah. Yeah, that's a kid who never drinks bottled water. He drinks from the sink. Yeah. Yeah. His mother cooks the sauce. Yeah. Yeah Yeah that's a kid Who never drinks Bottled water He drinks from the sink Yeah Yeah his mother Cooks the sauce Yeah

His aunt Marie Is his favorite person Yeah And he aspires To be just like his dad Whose name is Vito And he's a plumber Yeah and he gave

Five dollars Cause make no mistake He's trying to save his money Cause he thinks We're under attack By the Chinese And he also has Union dues

Yeah he's got union dues So he gave five bucks So we worked in his budget Yeah Yeah That's what it is Thank you guys gave five bucks. So we worked in his budget. Yeah. Yeah, it's what it is. Thank you, guys. Thank you guys so much for your service.

Should we call a $25? Should we call a couple? Yeah. We've got to call a couple. Let's call a couple. And also, while ISIS gets the numbers ready for call, let me just say this. Guys, if you're listening to this as a toot, go seek out the non-toots and him what they get. We does anyone give more content? Give the most on Patreon.

Because I mean, we're doing like you get like three, four bonus episodes. Yeah. Make no mistake. We're going twice a week right now. If you listen to this for free, you also notice that you got the Andrew Schultz podcast is up at the same time. is up at the same time there are two back to back history hyena episodes being released now which

means there's four interview episodes in the chamber so if you join Patreon for a month as a $10 member you and only you will be able to enjoy those episodes for a month before they're fucking released to the toots like table scraps yeah you guys

eat first you're the first class passengers through the friendly skies of Bay Ridge. We are the Bay Ridge boys. Our $25 members get our kamikaze episodes where me and Chris just start recording and trick the other one. And unfortunately, we say a lot of wild stuff on that one. Those are for our $25 members. And the $25 members get a whole bunch of other shit. Our $5 members get our bonus episode. Oh, the $10 members get a whole bunch of other shit. Our $5 members get our bonus episode.

Yes. Oh, the $10 members also get our videos. The $10 members get to watch the podcast as well as listen to it. And now we got new HD cameras because we're screwed in. But our $5 members get our bonus episode. Every single week there is a concomitant bonus episode that accompanies our free episode. There is a concomitant bonus episode that accompanies our free episode. So if you want to get two for one, if you're a hungry hyena and you haven't gotten your fill each and every week, join the Patreon.

Join our community so you can be a part of our community, our matriarchy. Yeah. Now we're going to call some of our $25 members. So when you become a $25 member, once a month, Chrissy calls you up and talks to you and I just scream y'all from the background yes so the two kids from Westchester didn't answer so I'm gonna try Bailey

Fesler let's try Bailey Fesler I think she's a P Joe Marinacci also running our community board he said is Chrissy gonna post a wild pic on this page or what? So they need something from you, Chrissy. What do they need? Because they just love you.

Should I post a one with my dick tucked back? No. You can post that already. No, no, no. No, but you don't see anything. I just tuck my dick back. Oh, that's a video. It's a picture.

That's a picture. I posted it on our history. I used Instagram and it got taken off, but they can't take it off our Patreon. No, they can't. They can't. No, so make it. Why don't you make it for it? The higher up in price, you know, the cooler the two.

So for $25, I'll post it. Make it for text. Oh, yeah, she picked up. Yeah. Bailey, right? Hello, Bailey? Hi. What's up?

It's Chris DiStefano from the History Hyenas aka chrissy cunanan and i'm janice pappas aka peanut head how you doing babe i'm doing good how are you good well thank you for being a valuable 25 member you're welcome what are you doing right now i'm walking to a conference room so i don't get fired for talking to you guys. What do you do for work? I work in tech sales. Wow. What city do you live in? I live in Denver. Denver's a fucking hell of a city.

I just was there last month. I wish we would have hung out because you sound like a piece. I went to your show. Oh, you did? Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, well.

Heard about your podcast. Did we meet? We didn't meet after the show, right? She fainted. No. No, next time we gotta meet. Why didn't you go up to meet him? Did you feel too shy because he's just too cute? Oh my god, so

yeah, kind of. No, don't. If you're a valuable $25 member of the matriarchy, I am. You can sleep in his hotel room. Yeah, I'm yours. Oh, good. Alright, I'm yours. Oh, good. All right. Well, listen, we're going to call you every month because that's just what we do. If you're a $25 member, we just call you on the phone and we talk to you and it's just

live on the podcast. Love it. Now, let me ask you a question. Congrats, Giannis, by the way. Oh, yeah. She said congrats to you for getting married. Thank you. Yeah. When we get to 1,000 Patreon members, we're going to post a video of Yana sucking Zach Isis' toes.

What do you think of that? Oh, my God. I want to see that for sure. What about a picture of my open asshole? Is that out? I mean, I'm curious. I need to see it. She wants to see it because there is no demand for that photo.

Yeah, you're trying to create that demand. There is no demand. I want to ask the Patreon community if they want that, because if they want it, Chrissy Deal, give it them. Chrissy goes. I like your name, Bailey... What is it, Bailey Fesler? Yeah.

That's a great name. What kind of name is Bailey? I think my parents actually got it off a sitcom really they wanted yeah so you like know if a man's name sydney is with an i and if it's a girl it's usually with a y that's what my parents tried to do with bailey nice so you got some creative cute parents yeah all the way up north in alaska they're wow you're from alaska that's all right here yanni's got a question then we got to go what's your favorite moment of the history hyena podcast thus far can you think of it i

don't mean to put you on the spot but what's something that really got you cackling i mean the whole steel pipe chrissy episode like i actually like had to walk away from my gate at the airport because people were looking at me like I was insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we go nuts. I really liked the Queen Elizabeth episode too. You guys crushed that. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, we're going to start to do, because we're asking our, especially our valuable $25 members, like what they like. So you like a little bit of history with the funny. You like, Queen Elizabeth had a lot of history. You like that. Yeah, totally. But I also like that you guys are like goofy and you know

especially in 2019 where everybody's so sensitive yeah it's nice that you guys are still out there doing your thing being yourself yeah appreciate that see this is just a great human i can't but i'm coming to denver we're getting married are you single i am single right my god, I'm coming there, you're gonna get cracked open and cleaned out! I got the CBD oil, you bring the witches. Wow! Alright, Bailey, we fucking love you. Thank you so much, we're calling you next month. Alright, bye.

Wow, what a babe. She's a babe, she's a heart. I mean, Isis is just letting the dial tone get on here. Yeah. Cause she's a real fan, she said, you bring the CBD oil, I'll bring the on here Yeah Cause she's a real fan She said You bring the CBD oil I'll bring the witch hazel Yeah She's gonna get cracked

I'm gonna clean it down It's what it is We got any other 25s or that's it Yeah let's call our last one Alright let's call the last one And then we gotta end this episode We've been on for too long Yeah Bailey's a piece

Bailey sounds like a piece But that's interesting what she said Cause she's a valuable member Yeah And she really is a She's a real fan She said she likes a little more history. Yeah.

And from now on. Queen Elizabeth was a great episode. It was a great episode. And we did a lot of research on that. So we got to do that. We do. For our $25 members, from now on when we call you, we're going to ask you what your favorite moment is.

So be prepared. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. And in our bonus episode, we're going to get into further detail about AutoCon because make no mistake, we put the juicy stuff behind the Patreon wall. Or should I say, we put the juicy stuff. Let's just call our bonus episodes kosher episodes.

Yeah, the kosher episodes. And let's just be honest. Yeah, we're going to put all the juicy stuff behind the Patreon. We like to call it Israel. Who are we on with? Leo Lovehandles. Leo Lovehandles. What's up, baby?

It's Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrisi Cunanan from the History Hyenas. What's up, boo? Nothing much, man. How you guys doing? Good, man. We got Yanni,

special needs Stamos, Yannis Pappas is right here, too. What's up, Yanni? How you been? Yeah. Thanks for the wedding. Yo, thanks, brother. Thank you, man. I'm a married kid. Where you at, Leo Lovehandles P? How you been? Yep. Congrats on the wedding. Yo, thanks, brother. Thank you, man.

I'm a married kid. Where you at, Leo Love Handles? What city you in? I'm in Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Yeah. It's a good city. Good college town. Yeah, let's be honest.

You vote red. Yeah. Yeah, you guys should come down to the company club over here, man. We would love to. I've been going over there recently. Yeah, we're going to try to get a live podcast booked over there. What do you do for work? I do a bunch of different stuff. I run

cars. I'm a valet. I work for the Lions part-time, too. I'm also a baseball coach, so I'm all over the place. So you're a Hispanic kid. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. My mom grew up in the jungles in Columbia, so yeah, I'm a fucking Hispanic kid. I mean, cuz, you're not val My mom grew up in the jungles in Colombia. Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm a fucking Hispanic kid. I mean, cuz, you're not valet parking cars and a baseball coach if you're not Latino. It's just what it is, cuz. Cuz, there's a 0% chance that you don't know how to juggle a fucking soccer ball. Yeah. Yeah, man. My uncle, he played on the American national team. Wow.

I guessed right. No, Leo, he's a hardworking fucking kid. Thank you for being a $25 member. I mean, cuz, we're going to call you every month. Isn't that fucking wild? Yeah, dude. I'm looking forward to talking to you guys, man. Listen, we're asking all our $25 members not to put you on the spot, but what's your favorite

moment of the podcast so far? So my favorite episode so far is the Ari Shapiro episode. I'm a group of Catholic kids. I went to Catholic school all the way from kindergarten to high school. So I kind of knew the whole Judaism type thing. But some of the questions you guys were bouncing off Ari were fucking hilarious. Yeah. Tackling in the car.

Now, because I went to Catholic school my whole life, too. When you met your first Jew, did you think they were going to get their magic on you or no? Yeah. I held on my walk real tight, and I said the Lord's Prayer as well. You have to, right? Yeah.

I remember the first time when I met my first Jew at 23, I just kept saying the Our Father just in case the Jew magic got on me. Yeah. Leo Lovehandles, you're a good kid. What are you doing tonight? Tonight, man, I'm just chilling. I got home from work about an hour ago.

Are you a single kid, or are you going to go out there and look to crack something open, or you got a girlfriend? No, I'm a single kid, man, but I go out on the weekends, and that was a pretty fun time. You clean some of these girls out, no? Yeah, man. I hit a miss. I look kind of like Manny from Modern Family.

We just dealt with a drinking problem. Yeah. He's a funny kid. You're a funny kid. Leo Lovefamilies is a 10 out of 10. Yeah. All right, cuz. Make no mistake.

If we come to Michigan, we'll toss you our keys. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. I'll be there. Wherever you guys at. All right, brother. Thank you so much, cuz. Well, let's make no mistake. If we come to Michigan, we'll toss you our keys. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. I'll be there. Wherever you guys at. All right, brother. Thank you so much, man. We're going to call you again next month.

We appreciate you. We appreciate your loyalty. All right, dude. Thanks so much. All right, later. All right, you too. Yeah, he's a funny kid. Funny, funny kid.

All right. Well, listen, that was another fucking episode. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to hear more behind-the-scenes stuff about Oheka Castle and Otto the Con, a.k.a. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to hear more behind the scenes stuff about Oheka Castle and Otto the Con aka Otto the Jew. And you can catch all my stand-up dates at chrisdcomedy.com I'll be in

Washington. D.C. I'll be in the D.C. Draft House March 8th and 9th. I'll be at Sacramento Punchline March 21st to the 23rd and March 28th to March 31st. I'll be at the San Antonio Improv. Come see your boy. I'll be in Philadelphia this coming weekend if you're listening

on Thursday and if you're listening on Sunday you're fucking assed out but I will be at Point Pleasant New Jersey Levity Live

in West Nyack and Governor's in Levittown so go get your tickets Google that shit see you guys later have a nice time and suck a dick ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Outro Music