History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 65 - The Hyenas are F*%&in WILD!
Episode Date: April 14, 2019The Hyenas are back and more wild than ever!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼�...�️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. what's up everybody it is your favorite two trash monkey burrow, trash hyenas, Chrissy can
collector and Yanni
peanut head.
Peace. I'm a fucking
your fucking Mexican tan
piece because you went to Mexico and make no
mistake. Mrs. Poppins got cracked
open and cleaned out beyond the wall.
She did because I turned
her into a white walker. It's nice to be
able to just let loose and let it flat
because we had gaffigan in here and we had to really be on our best catholic behavior yes so
make no mistake that kid pretends like he doesn't curse make no mistake yeah we had to be squeaky
clean for gaffing her but now he just left so I've just been waiting to say it all day faggot
way song she ain't there you go you just christened mike mush on the way zhongxian button
mike I'm gonna stop calling him mike mush it just stuck mikey emoji face gaffigan laughed There you go. You just christened Mike Mush on the Weishang Jian button.
Mike, I'm going to stop calling him Mike Mush.
It just stuck for me. Mikey emoji face.
Gaffigan laughed at it and Mike thinks it's okay.
Yeah, you are Mikey emoji.
Mike was with me in San Antonio, so we were pretty close to the border wall.
So you didn't eat healthy.
We didn't eat.
Yeah, Mike, what was that?
Mike, you were like, my dad used to love this.
It was just like a plate of cheese.
And I'm like, where's your dad now?
He's like, he died of a heart attack. And it was just like this plate of cheese and i'm like where's you then now he's like he died of a heart attack and it was just like this thing what was that
cheese queso flabiano queso flabiano was fucking great do you speak you speak uh you speak uh
spanish i really don't know but did your father talk like that a little bit like that's the
american kind of mexican way that's more like california mexican oh so how's the American kind of Mexican way. That's more like California Mexican. Oh, so how's the San Antonio?
Everything just turns to Chinese a little bit.
Yeah.
I just started sounding like an Eastern hammy.
Cuz, make no mistake, you're one of my most talented friends, but you're fucking stupid.
I'm fucking stupid.
Yeah.
Cuz, there's no question that both my parents are from islands and there's a little inbreeding
going on there.
Yeah.
And also, I was talking to Irene Bremis this weekend,
by the way,
I want to clean out.
Yeah.
She's married to somebody.
Give me a way.
Sean.
She,
yeah,
it's a me too.
Era.
Yeah.
I mean,
Mike,
Mike,
whenever Mike,
what the fuck are you doing?
Yeah.
Whenever you just keep your finger on that,
keep your finger on the fucking mouse.
When Chrissy's talking,
and then we're going to find out.
It's interesting. Now, now that Mush,
now that Mikey Emoji Face
is in
control of the Weijian
Chien button, we're going to see who he's prejudiced
against because whenever I say anything wild about
the JOOs, Zach wouldn't press
the button. Yeah, because he's a Sandra D.
So now we'll see
where is Mike an American or is he
a Mexican? Yeah, because if I say something wild about Americans and he doesn't press that Weishan
G button, we're just going to see what side of the border he's really on.
Let's be honest.
If he doesn't do a good job with that Weishan G button, we'll go right back down to San
Antonio, get a catapult and throw him right back over that wall.
You'll get right back over that wall.
Weishan G.
There you go.
There it is.
Nice.
You're getting good at it.
Now he's a patriot.
Mike took us all around San Antonio.
We had a good time in San Antonio, Mike.
Make no mistake, it was a great club, but never going back to your city.
You didn't like it, right?
No, it was fine.
I went to the Alamo, which was nice.
We rode around.
Make no mistake, me and Sergio rented scooters.
And Mike was on one, too.
And he was a little nervous.
He was like, we kept looking around like, where's Mike?
And then Sergio was like, yo, I think he's
a little nervous, fam. Why was he nervous? Because
those things can pick up speed and Mike's not the most
athletic kid. Yeah, he's just not a kid
who gets a little nervous when you have to move.
No, he had a good time on it though, right?
But you're generally more comfortable sitting still.
You feel safer. Oh, yes.
You feel like you got your balance, everything's, yeah.
And let me tell you something.
I'm being dead serious. Honestly, shout out lol comedy club san antonio
you guys were great mike's a fucking good comic he opened up every single show because make no
mistake i'm just gonna be crystal clear there's not many hyena fans in san antonio i think because
i did not sell tickets so mike being able to go out to a pretty cold empty room that holds about
400 and let's be crystal clear had about 60 mats each night.
I thought Mike cracked them up.
Nice job, Mike. You really did. Mike's
actually a very good comic. And I think
when we finally do the live
History of Henus shows,
we're going to give Mike Emoji Face
a Mike, because he's very good.
Thank you. Yeah, so it's good to have you on the team, Mikey.
That's nice. You're diverse. We like that.
Because, you know, sometimes you go on the road and you're like, ah, this guy, you know,
but Mike is just a, he could, he could cut it in New York.
Yeah.
And Chris tells the truth.
So I, I, you did good.
Otherwise he would have just said it in front of your face.
Yeah.
No, Mike's good.
Yeah.
He would have said, you know what?
He's a good eater, but not such a good comic.
The only thing is, the only thing is what Mike is.
Yeah.
If you bring him on the road, you better just make sure you get some extra snacks for the
green room.
Cause he will clean up in those snacks while you're on stage.
You may come back and be like, where's all the chips?
And then Mike will be like, I don't know.
And it'll just be crumbs on his nipples.
Yeah.
Mike's here for a good time, not a long time.
He's here for a good time, not a long time.
That's an oldie but goodie we haven't said in a while.
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
Not a long time, Mike.
He's definitely. let's be honest uh i'm probably the person i even though i'm the oldest here probably well no mikey's my age yeah but um i'm probably
the one who's gonna be around the longest because let's make no mistake you're here for not a long
time but a good time we know that crazy green lights and let's not forget that sandra d isis
over there yeah he's got tattoos all over his body like the movie Memento.
He's not here for a long time either.
Let's be honest.
You don't find too many senior citizens with tattoos on their fingers.
No, you don't see too many of those.
He's probably here for a long time.
He's probably here for a good time, not a long time.
But you will be here the longest.
But make no mistake, you will get Alzheimer's and you will just be a shell of yourself.
It's just what you're just going to be sitting there drooling by a bench yeah but you will be here till you're 95 because make no
mistake guys yeah you were punished in previous life because you probably did have some power in
previous life and you you really you were a piece of shit with that power and unfortunately you took
girls off the streets for your sexual harem yeah and you just killed innocent people yeah so now
you're going to be here until you're 100 years old
but your brain's going to stop working at 6.
So you're just going to have
close to half your life.
And that's just why Jesus is going to punish you
because make no mistake, you're not Catholic, you weren't chosen.
So Jesus punishes those who don't
bow down to his will every Sunday saying with the highest
charge, Father, don't fuck me in the uvula.
Way song she ain't.
And they also punish kids who only
tip the green room waitress
only five bucks right yeah yeah you gave the green room
waitress five bucks you dirtbag you fucking
dirtbag so
here's the thing Irene Bremers told me
cause here's the funny thing that our fans didn't
know about me and you probably didn't know about
me what is it my original name is
Bibis I thought your name
was John no no no my last name is Bibis. I thought your name was John. No, no, no. My last
name is not Pappas. My
grandfather on my father's side
changed it from Bibis to Pappas.
You know what Bibis means?
Small penis. Really?
Yeah. It means small penis.
Why would he have a last name as small penis?
My real last name is Bibis.
But I don't understand. So this is what Irene
Bremis was telling me. She was telling me like, yeah,
it makes sense back in the day. If you were a
goldsmith or you were a blacksmith, that
would become your name. So somebody in
my family line just had a
really fucking small micro penis.
Yeah. And like the people in the village
were making fun of him. And that became true.
This is true. It's got to be. Yeah.
I'm not saying if it's true, like 100% fact,
but I'm saying like Pepice is slang for small penis. And it happens to be. I'm not saying if it's true, like 100% fact, but I'm saying like,
Pee-Pee's is slang for small penis.
And it happens to be my real last name.
My dad happens to have micro penis.
He does have a pretty baby penis.
So somewhat, he inherited that from somebody.
And that person he inherited it from is probably the person they were making fun of when they made Pee-Pee's the fucking Wei Zhong Jing of that era.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
Yeah.
Listen to me loud. Listen to of that era listen to me listen to me yeah listen to me loud listen to
me clear listen to me now for any of these non-toots for any of these toots who are listening
to the history of hyenas right now on itunes for free fuck you join the patreon go to patreon.com
slash bay ridge boys okay the non-toots know we're talking about they know where the fun is
if you think for one fucking how you doing yeah you're right good get in there yeah yeah sandra d
incoming i got fucking pearl harvard by sandra d that's right that's that's why
yeah it's what it is the yeah the technical guy video tech guy, you know, part of the world.
He just walked to the podcast studio, caught me off guard.
So, yeah, I thought, was that a $100 sponsor?
Who is that kid?
Is that on camera or no?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
It's coming.
Yeah, it's coming.
God, Sanjadeen.
You would let the boys know we got some big guys. I let the boys know. Yeah. Yo, I coming. Sandra D. You would let the boys know we got to speak.
I let the boys know.
Yeah.
Yo, I set up those cameras.
You set up those cameras.
There he is.
Thank you.
Sandra D.
Sandra D.
Five o'clock.
If you fucking think for one fucking second,
the people who are not,
go to patreon.com slash pay rich boys.
And if you don't think for one fucking second,
that when we get to 10,000
patron members,
we're not going to post a picture of Giannis's dad's piece and my dad's
piece to show you how small it is.
You got another thing coming.
Cause that 10,000 patrons make no mistake.
I will take pictures of,
I don't care if Giannis's dad's dead.
I'll fucking jump in that coffin.
I'll take a picture of his little piece and I'll fucking take a picture of
my dad's little piece while he's gambling my mother's fortune on the OTB
racetrack. I'll take a picture of their little fucking pieces and I'll fucking take a picture of my dad's little piece while he's gambling my mother's fortune on the OTB racetrack.
I'll take a picture of their little fucking pieces, and I'll post them when we get to $10,000.
10,000 patrons.
Chris the teacher, you can market, you fucking psycho.
Chris the teacher came to my Long Island shows.
Yeah, and then sent me messages.
Yeah.
Actually, he gave me two scratch-off tickets in a card.
He got me another card, and he said, congratulations on your wedding.
And then he gave me a scratch off ticket,
which, guess what, turned out to win me
15 bucks. Wow. Thank you, Chris the teacher.
Yeah. Chris the teacher.
Good fan. Super fan. Yeah.
Started messaging Sergio. Sergio sent me a message.
He was like, who's this kid? And he sent a screenshot. It's Chris the teacher.
He's like, he's asking me all questions about boxing.
I said, ignore him. Yeah, you just gotta.
Yeah, but it was the teacher's great fan that Chris
teacher always supports. I gotta be honest. He does. He always supports. So we respect that. But here's the problem with Chris the teacher. Here's the problem. Yeah, you just gotta, yeah. Chris the teacher is a great fan. Chris the teacher always supports. I gotta be honest. He does. He always
supports, so we respect that. But here's the problem with Chris
the teacher. Here's the problem. Yeah. The more
we're nice to him, the more he texts.
So then we gotta pull it back and be like,
we gotta make fun of him and tell him the story. Yeah.
Because otherwise he'll just keep texting and he'll
just keep saying wild stuff. Yeah. By the
way. Like he was saying on the Patreon, are you down
there cracking over your wife? Only Chris
he can say that on the podcast. That's it. You're just
a fan. You can't talk about my wife like
that. Plus, she was a student at the school
you teach at. Yeah, you tried to text her
your dick. No, just kidding.
Hit the Wei Shang Xing.
We don't want Wei Shang Xing.
That might not be too far from the truth.
By the way,
speaking of super fans that we love to give shoutouts
to, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
Has anybody followed Jen Bigakis on Instagram?
She's a piece.
She's a yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a married kid.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Say anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, Jen, I don't know if you even still listen.
You don't comment on anything anymore.
But if you are listening, you're looking good, babe.
Yeah.
You look a good babe.
And shout out to all the hyena fans who came out to Governors.
There was tons.
And one kid came dressed as you, which was a 10 out of 10 funny.
Guys, make no mistake.
I shouldn't.
How could I not have taken a picture with that kid?
Did you leave your yarmulke in the green room?
Were you not fucking screwed in?
I was not fucking screwed in.
Cuz, were you not screwed in?
I wasn't screwed in.
Because yesterday, by the way, I did a show at Union Hall and I saw a black kid with an
afro and he had the yarmulke on the afro.
And I said, you're fucking screwed in, in buddy and he just looked at me he was
like i don't know what you mean listen i don't remember your name uh but you're listening to
this because they're huge it was him and his buddy they're both huge and he specifically came dressed
as me he came dressed as you he was wearing a yankees jersey and he kind of looks like you
because he's a make no mistake he's some type of fucking snow monkey kid yeah he's a garbage man out on the island so
can you yet post a picture looking like with you no he didn't you know how i am yeah these kids
well no well i don't give off the energy that i want you to take a picture because i would have
taken a pic i would have put his cock in my mouth i mean you gotta do it for the fans because you
were not i'm super because you've been screwed you've been consistently screwed in now for three
months i can't believe you missed that one yeah well you know what they didn't ask me i was it was in between shows and i ran back in
but they were really nice kids i don't remember thanks for coming out there was a cuz zach could
you give me water yeah can you get him a water i just need a water zach can you give my friend
crystal water i'm just starting yeah my my ear finally popped for the first time in four days
and now four weeks and i just need some water so how was the flight did you make it without a
earplug thank you zach let let me tell you let me be fucking crystal clear give you the
god's honesty with me flying i so last week i flew to san antonio i went san antonio friday
saturday sunday and then la monday thursday so because make no mistake i had two feet out of
new york city two feet out of the ridge for close to seven days and i missed my daughter and i
needed water and and i was really, really, really upset.
I was, I'm being dead serious.
I took the red eye.
I'm home from, from LAX to JFK Thursday night to Friday morning.
And I was the only one up and I saw the lights of New York city and I got
emotional.
You did.
Dead serious.
I start to well up.
Cause I was like, I'm almost, I'm almost there.
I'm almost there to see my daughter and drink filtered water.
And, and, but going out to San Antonio, I was like, I'm almost, I'm almost there. I'm almost there to see my daughter and drink filtered water. And, and, um, but going out to San Antonio, I was so nervous.
I was like, my ears are going to explode, blah, blah, blah, blah.
For whatever reason, cause the pressure stabilizes, it made my ears both fill up and then they
both pop relief.
So it was like this.
And now they're just completely pop.
So it was like, so that thing that I plane trip was basically a toot for your ears.
Yeah.
It was two for my ears. It relieved your ears i got you got a nut you got an ear nut out
yeah and then it said get off me and never come back yeah like most of my exit to make sure it
was okay yeah but then i because i basically asked the plane where it was like can you suck my dick
babe i just need you to get it hard babe cuz let's be honest uh let me be cc with you yeah be cc you
want me to be crystal clear with you i want you? I want you to be crystal clear. And then, cuz, I haven't seen you in a while.
I want you to crack me open and clean me out.
I want to get in that laugh, cuz.
You got a nice tan.
Cuz, make no mistake, the more Puerto Rican you look, the more I want to bang you out.
Yeah, that's true.
And you look very Puerto Rican right now.
Yeah, cuz, right now, I'm looking Puerto Rican.
You're going to try to put a fucking baby in my ass.
Yeah, you got a bad tattoo, and you're tanned up, and I want to bang you out. Yeah, I make bad decisions. I'm a little tan. I'm looking Puerto Rican. You're going to try to put a fucking baby in my asshole. You got a bad tattoo and you're tanned up and I want to bang you out.
Yeah, I make bad decisions.
I'm a little tan.
I'm your type.
You're my type.
So here's the deal.
Yeah.
You fall in love with guys and you have sexual amendment, but you know what else you fall
in love with?
What?
And you have a romantic interest in?
What?
New York City.
New York City.
Yeah.
New York City gets you fucking horned up too to go bang toots.
Absolutely. Because what? Because you're a New York City
kid. Yeah. You're almost
like, what would be like
a emoji face? What would be
like an animal that
lives in the water and then crawls up but
can't live there too long, has to crawl back
in? That's Chrissy Krabs? Do
Krabs do that? Krabs or like a thing
that it can come out of water but not for long
that's you yeah what kind of
fish would that be well there's frogs
they do that
dolphins yeah dolphins that
they can be out of water for a little bit just a little that's you
whales that come up yeah
you're like a dolphin you come up you can live
in the air for a second and that's
outside of New York but ultimately
you just have to have one foot in a burrow.
Yeah, well, that's that's kind of part of the reason other than throwing hands.
And because I enjoy his company is why I bring Sergio with me as much as I can, because he represents New York City.
And you don't feel like you're that far away from New York when you got Sergio Chacon around.
Because make no mistake, you know, you're hanging out with the guy and he's looking at he's just classic Puerto Rican.
He's looking at videos of snakes.
He's calling one of his family members in jail. he's you know he's talking to me he's asking if we could play daddy yankee in the car so he's yeah he's he's
very new york puerto rican yeah and so that's why i like having him yeah around because not only is
he a great comic but he's you know we get to throw hands he's always throwing hands and he's just got
that puerto rican-ness new york city aspect that i like it keeps you it keeps you bring a little piece of home with you i have to yeah and
of course if you're on the phone one of your uh it quote unquote in-laws what do you call those
yeah what do you call those that they're still in your life there's nothing legal
just uh what do you call that cousins yeah i mean well yeah you mean you mean my baby mama's parents
yeah how but let's come up with some how you would call that yeah because they well yeah you mean you mean my baby mama's parents yeah how but let's come up
with some how you would call that yeah because they're not your in-laws they're kind of like
your ridgewood kind of like yeah what would that be sort of like uh what kind of ghetto arrangement
is that yeah yeah i guess um yeah i mean it's just like it's just yeah my baby's mama my baby
mama's baby mama loss yeah my baby mama lost my baby mama lost so you need surgery
there if you get on the phone with your yeah because there's sometimes where i can't when
my baby mom is mom is talking to me yeah i don't know what she's saying yeah so she's like i want
to put it there and i'm like what do you want to put where and then surgery gets on the phone and
he can communicate yeah because she's saying look we have a problem with the baby chrissy i'm out
there and then one slip was falling over here and then that that she's dancing but listen that the
chinese kid but i don't know he has some disease i was watching yellow fever on that but
i'm still i'm stuck i'm stuck on the ferry here and you say i don't understand you and then you
put on sergio and then sergio said yeah she said put sergio to the phone so i could translate yeah
she wants you to she would need you to go what she basically saying is she needs you to send
her some money she'd go to supermarket get some sasson that's all she's looking for
goya and sasson but she she's stuck on the ferry yeah she can't find path mark it's what it is she
got a little uncomfortable there's a met food there but she won't go in because she's never
been there and she makes a mistake she gets a little nervous when she gets out of a four block
radius yeah she don't like shopping at the a and p or stop a shop because it's to why
yeah it's just what it is i was in mexico for a week yeah you were in mexico for
a week because make no mistake okay here's the thing the the way the behavior that you exhibited
in mexico on your instagram yeah was fucking wild i mean me and sergio i was sending sergio
pictures and videos of what you were doing and ser Sergio's like, yo, life gets ugly.
That's what he kept saying.
Because the one video that you posted of Britney's feet and ass, I was like, is she going to fucking punch him in the face?
That was a little too wild, right?
That was even Sergio was like, yo, that's disrespectful.
I think Chris, the teacher, might have been sniffing the phone for that one.
Let me be crystal clear with you.
Unfortunately.
Yeah. A couple of our fans saved that video.
They did.
It's just what it is.
But I mean, you got a piece of a life.
What are you going to do?
That's what you signed up for, Mrs. Pompous.
Yeah, I mean, look, that might have been a mistake.
But you know what?
She was wearing a bathing suit.
I was hammered.
It is what it is.
I got hammered.
I got bent out of shape.
You got fucking hammered.
Make no mistake.
I was on my honeymoon and I cocoa'dcoed my wife it's what it is because the picture i mean because the fact that we were in a situation
where your wife was texting me come get your friend that's because she walked into a room
where she was getting ready for dinner and you were butt naked almost drowning yourself in the
jacuzzi yeah it was just cause for concern. I mean, I think.
Let me see.
Let me see if I still have the text where Brittany was like, have you ever got upside down in a jacuzzi and let the jeets just hit you?
Yeah.
You know, he's like a drunk baby.
Yeah.
Look how drunk.
And then it's just I have to wake up to a picture of Giannis's open asshole underwater that Mrs.
Pop has sent me, said he did Zumba in the pool today and things got out of hand.
So you were doing Zumba in the pool.
I did.
So you miss New York, too.
I miss New York.
But make no mistake.
We had a good time.
We did.
Yeah.
We started drinking.
What do you say?
Well, you weren't there.
That was just we got to have a moment.
We got to have a name for that when Chrissy's half checked in.
Well, I was just trying to know.
You got your boarding pass, but you're not on the plane.
It's just because I'm looking.
I'm looking for some of the text.
So keep talking.
I know.
But I love when you do that.
We go.
Yeah, we had a good time.
Like you said the last thing I said, but you weren't there.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, keep talking.
I'm looking for some text.
I can find the text.
So first day we got there, we started drinking a lot and we got I got hammered the first
day.
I don't know how more people don't die in all inclusives.
Right.
It's like you get to live like Caligula.
Like when AOC and like the progressives talk about how this is the first generation to live without prosperity.
I'm like, go to an all inclusive and see how Americans eat and live on like a bus driver salary.
Because make no mistake, all inclusive in Cancun, that's not where the WASP aristocrats go.
Those are where the regular Americans go.
And you get to live like a Roman emperor.
Let's be honest.
I was thrown at my food and put more food back in there.
Let's be honest.
I'm surprised that Cancun doesn't have a direct flight from Cancun right to the Verrazano Bridge on Staten Island because that's fucking the whole borough.
That's a five borough fucking place to go was an all inclusive in Cancun.
New York City and Boston. They love Cancun. So does Atlanta.
People in the suburbs of Atlanta like those white girls that come to. Yeah, they love it.
The south and the Midwest. It's regular folks. It's a regular
folks Paris.
All inclusive.
Yeah.
And if you slip one of Mikey Emoji Face's relatives a fiver, they treat you like Kanye West for the rest of the week.
That's all it takes is a Lincoln.
This is what I wanted to say.
This is what I wanted to say.
Now, this was in within 15 minutes of each other.
This is the kind of person, this is the kind of inbred, This is the kind of person this kind of inbred.
This is the kind of, you know, relationship I have with Giannis.
It's just summed up in these two things.
So at 515 p.m. while Giannis in Mexico, Giannis tweets out, if gender doesn't exist, why do trans always become act exactly like the one of two, albeit opposite genders. You say is just a construct.
If gender is an anatomically anchored,
wouldn't there be variation?
Like at least one trans person acting like a wind chime or snow angel.
This is why he's in the middle of his vacation with his fiance,
his mini moon in the middle of Mexico.
And then within 15 minutes,
I get a picture of Giannis is open asshole drunk face down in the jacuzzi
from his wife saying,
come get your friend.
He did zoom in the pool.
He's drunk.
So I don't know how you go from gender perfectly typed out deep questioning to me having to receive
pictures of your open asshole and ball sack from your wife face down in a jacuzzi because i am a
wild kid you're just a wild people think i'm wild yeah you're fucking wild when you get inside the brain of yanni papa yanni pipi dearest it's what is it yanni's pipis yanni's pipis it's a place you don't want to go
yeah let's just let's just be crystal clear let's be crystal let's be crystal fucking clear to our
listeners right crystal fucking clear i've had sex with a listener let's be crystal clear
let's be crystal clear yeah if you got inside either my or your brain yeah there's a little
control panel yeah and there's a steering wheel there yeah and there's a girl yeah that's holding
that steering wheel in a nice little sundress yeah and that's what it is it's just what it is
we're feminine kids we're feminine kids we fucking lean gay and make no mistake the only way you would know is which which one of our brains you're in is that one has fumes and one doesn't
one's a fumed out greek kid and one's just a beautiful fucking snow monkey clean ass yeah
you know what happened the first day i was on my vacation yeah yeah let's talk about it i got
completely hammered you were ripped ripped yeah like ripped britney would get up early
to hit the gym hit the gym of course yeah because my wife's a piece yeah and she would also go get
the towels and you have to because it's such a it's like a game of musical chairs to get the
to get the right right right the chairs by the pool right so you put your towels down and maybe
a book and like a flip-flop and that's how you claim your chairs so she would get up at seven in the morning to get the chairs where
of course i slept right she started apparently a nice conversation with uh with a a guy oh my god
in the morning like a nice nerdy guy in the morning right and i didn't know it so we started
drinking and then we're going to lunch i'm hammered so we're walking to lunch and i didn't
have my glasses on and i was about 10 feet behind her because i was looking at my phone yeah when
you don't have your glasses on things it's a little foggy it's a little foggy and i'm a little
hammered so i don't know who's who yeah so i'm i mean i'm hammered i'm just be honest with you
look at his instagram we know you were hammered yeah i'll be cc with you i was fucking hammered
yeah and uh well because it's hot down there, you know, there's different water.
You get banged up out there. Because I was
underwater. That's how drunk I was. I was underwater.
Yeah, I was scuba diving.
That's how drunk I was. Deep sea diving. Yeah, I was deep sea
diving. I was scuba diving. I was underwater.
Yeah. Can I get a
water? I need another water.
So, I see...
Mike, stop breathing so loud.
My wife's up about 10 feet ahead of me.
And, you know, I don't have my glasses on.
So it's a little foggy.
I'm drunk.
I look before my phone and I see a guy talking to my wife, like saying something to her.
It looks like he's hitting on her or whatever.
And we're in the lobby of the hotel.
Yeah.
Which is not a classy move by me.
I go, hey, man man that's my fucking wife
wow you talk to her again i'm gonna punch you in the face wow yeah and he looked at me like i was
like he thought it was a joke he thought it was a joke he was like a little frightened he was a
little confused he was a little disappointed in humanity um it was a whole mix of emotions he was
he was taken by surprise.
Not only was he confused, he was
surprised. He didn't know because I was behind her.
So like, and so
I walk past him
looking dead at him and
I go out and my wife's just standing there
and she's just got like a look of shock on her
face and she goes, what the fuck is
wrong with you? Because he walked away now
by this point? Yeah, they were walking we were walking past each walked away now by this point he was staying yeah they were walking
we were walking past each other so like
they talked and said hello as they were passing
and I was way behind and I looked
up and I saw the end of the exchange
so as I was walking by him you know
I said that's my fucking wife if
you and as I'm walking by if you say I'm gonna punch
you in the fucking face I don't know why I did
it I'm drunk I'm hammered
I thought he was hitting on her.
And when you're drunk,
you just say fucking stupid things.
Yeah.
And also it's like, yeah.
And I'm living beyond the wall.
I'm a little nervous.
I was going to say,
and also the thing is you feel like
because you're in Mexico,
it's like you feel like it's your territory.
Like you're an American.
So you can't get hit.
You're an American.
I'm an American.
You just say whatever you want
because we own this place.
Yeah, I'm an American.
Bring me some more fucking jalapeno poppers.
That was a 10 out of 10 video. Yeah, I mean, it's just, you have this imper, I'm an American. Bring me some more fucking jalapeno poppers. That was a 10 out of 10 video.
Yeah, I mean, it's just you have this imperious I'm an American thing.
You called him Eduardo.
Yeah, Eduardo, feed me my cerveza and my jalapeno poppers.
Yeah.
Just bring it this way.
Yeah.
I tell you, slip them a five.
They treat you like fucking Kanye West.
And that's what it is.
Yeah.
And that's also what the waitstaff at Levity Lot gets tipped.
Yeah.
So.
You know what?
That's what it is.
At Governor's, I gave her a 20, even though I ordered nothing because of you.
So thank you for me getting paid $20 less.
Yeah.
Because I didn't order anything and probably fucking Irene Bremes probably gave her a 20.
And now she's got $40 and she made more than me.
She makes more than me.
And make no mistake, her husband's getting old and waiting for her to die because I want to crack
her open.
Way song she ain't.
So my wife goes, what the fuck is
wrong with you? Alright, that was a
nice, he was an eastern
hemi. Well, actually he was a nice Sandra
D. He was a Sandra D and you got upset?
He was a Sandra D.
Listen, let me just
before you go, let's just be crystal clear
let's just be honest you say what you want it's just truth is truth facts are facts i don't agree
with it but it's what it is your wife comes from a real wealthy family on the island yeah she's not
gonna allow to flirt with sandra d i mean that should have been if i mean what are you what are
you doing yeah what are you looking at me for? Mike, do you hear?
Press the Wei Songxian button.
Wei Songxian.
I agreed with that.
I'm sorry.
That's what we found where his line is.
Yeah, where his line was.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, because it's like, you know, listen, if he looks like.
So you're just saying that's a true statement.
Yeah.
Because make no mistake, the kind of woman your wife is, the only guys you got to be worried about are guys that look like DJs.
That's it.
If the guy looks like a DJ and he was talking to him, then you got to.
But come on, cuz.
Yeah.
It's not going to happen.
Yeah, but I didn't have my glasses on.
So I thought he was a swarthy Puerto Rican.
Oh, that's what you thought.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Puerto Ricans, you always got to watch out for them.
I thought he was a crafty.
Yeah, I thought he was a Puerto Rican.
Puerto Ricans are slippery little suckers.
Or I thought he was a Turkish kid because he looked a little Sandra.
Yeah.
A little furry.
Yeah.
So he was actually a really nice kid.
Right.
She was telling me.
And they were talking this morning.
Well, they met at the gym or something.
They met like putting the flip-flops on the chairs.
And he was there with his wife.
No, he was there with his friend.
But he was just like, he wasn't like a type of...
When I saw him close, I was drunk.
He was just a nice kid. In retrospect, when she was telling me that, I was like, he was just a he wasn't like a type but when when i saw him close yeah i was drunk but like a nice
kid retrospect when she was telling me that i was like he was just a nice dude well like a good
human he's a nice dude but let's be honest if she was there alone talking to him like that he wants
to crack her open i mean if you if you could crack open his head there'd be you know he's every guy
has that in them but i mean what it is that doesn't mean it was okay for what i did no i
should have done that yeah i mean you know it's like but i wonder if mrs poppins thinks a little bit like she's a little
even though it was embarrassing it's a little hot to her it's a little like my guy is going to
protect me no matter what even though he's wrong because make no mistake she got cracked open that
night i mean we know why and let's just be honest. Whatever women say, you know, hey, I want to be a feminist,
but deep down,
you know what it is.
Yeah.
You want a nice big guy
that looks like Chrissy D.
Hopefully a little better
with the shirt off,
but you don't know that
when you meet him.
Well,
I've been throwing hands
so I'm losing a little weight.
Losing a little weight,
but there still is a little bit
of a salamander tit on one side.
There'll always be salamander.
Yeah.
You got the salamander tit,
but you want a guy who's big
with Chrissy D.
with a big forehead and a big head to protect you. Yeah. You got the Salamander tit, but you want a guy who's big with Chrissy D with a big forehead
and a big head to protect you.
Yeah.
To protect you.
So I think that's what, so I wonder if Mrs. Pappas low key liked it, but yeah, it was.
But she knows I'm a 43 year old kid with a pulled shoulder and a ripped bicep.
Yeah.
Let's be honest.
I can't do much.
Yeah.
Let's be honest.
Yeah.
Probably in that situation, you're probably going to lose that fight.
I was probably going to lose that fight. Make no mistake. The kid was about five, seven. Yeah. He was be honest. Yeah. Probably in that situation, you're probably going to lose that fight. I was probably going to lose that fight.
Make no mistake.
The kid was about five, seven.
Yeah.
And that's probably why I said something to him because I knew I could beat him up.
Yeah.
Beat his ass.
Yeah.
But if Zach Eisen said it, I may just walk past silently.
Yeah.
But if Mike Emoji Face said it, I say, what the fuck did you just say?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So but overall, I feel like the experience from what we could see in your social media
looked like it was really good, a nice little mini-moan.
It was very nice.
But the problem is when you threaten somebody, it was more, I was embarrassed afterwards.
I felt embarrassed.
I felt mortified.
You felt, you had like negative energy.
I just felt like, I felt like a real idiot.
And the problem is when you threaten somebody at an all-inclusive, you're trapped with that
person for the next seven days.
You didn't see them.
So I just had to see this guy in the conga line at the breakfast.
And I didn't even know how to make it good.
I was going to say, did you say anything to him ever again?
I mean, no, because it was awkward.
I mean, what am I going to do?
I just like I was like.
You apologize.
Yeah.
But like, what am I going to do?
Buy him a beer.
It's an all inclusive.
I can't even buy him a beer.
It's not even about that.
You just say, listen, man, last time I was drunk.
I apologize.
But that acknowledges more that it happened.
I was like, we're strangers.
I just went the route.
I'm going to not look at him and pretend like it didn't happen.
I tell you, I'm Chrissy Crisis Management.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, like, just what, you know, when I lied to Godfrey because, you know, he's supposed to be our guest.
We're on the podcast.
That's what it is.
We have to, you know.
We're on the podcast.
Yeah.
We're not on the Patreon.
All right.
Yeah.
We didn't have to cancel Godfrey.
Well, we did because
let's make no mistake i forgot i booked jim gaffigan and he's a bigger star so i had to
just blame it on zach isis and say that we have we have technical we have technical difficulties
and i just came up with a lie because make no mistake i'm chrissy crisis management and godfrey
believed that he's going to come in next monday at two o'clock and it's going to be fine but Godfrey if you're listening we lied to you we made you move over for a wait
wait
wait
I mean
it's just what it is
I don't even know what to do with that one
yeah should we cackle that out
we might have to cackle that out
yeah because Godfrey's nuts
yeah
we might have to cackle that out, too.
But make no mistake, he's going to be a great podcast guest.
Yeah.
Because he's going to tell us how everyone stole the culture of the Nigerians.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's just, yeah, let's be on it.
Let's be honest.
Godfrey probably doesn't listen to this podcast because it's not sponsored by a sneaker website.
Wei Songxian.
Because Godfrey cleans up.
Godfrey is the black version of me.
You told me.
If you and Godfrey went out on a mission, you guys could take down the whole population
of the United States.
Yeah.
We'd need one swarthy in there with the three of you.
If we had one.
Take the three of you physically.
I'll take the three of you.
Look, we'll be going beyond that fence. Yeah. We'll forget
the great laws of this country. Is that what you said to
the guy talking to Brittany? Yeah. He said, I'll take it
physically. I say, look, I'll go put my dog
inside and we'll go beyond
that fucking wall and I'll take
the three years physically.
Yeah. Great law.
Who would be the swarthy? We need
one swarthy in there. To clean up?
Yeah, because between you would take all the whites.
Godfrey would take all the blacks.
There'd be a little crossover.
He'd take some whites.
You'd take some blacks.
Right.
Because both you guys do clean up on everybody.
I don't know.
I mean, who cleans up?
I don't know.
And then we would need one swarthy like me, a little swarthier to get all the miscellaneous.
You think Zach Isis could take some?
No.
Zach Isis is way too hairy.
His butt crack looks like a goddamn Christmas tree.
It's what it is.
With dingleberries in it.
Yeah.
Who's this?
Who's a really good looking comic?
Who's is on the West Coast?
I'm trying to think of who's a Tanner.
Kid Rami Youssef, maybe he's about to become a star.
No, I'm talking about like a hint.
Come on.
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
I don't.
You and Godfrey are like specimen looking men.
You're so unaware of how attractive you are.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you're, you're a little Franks and beans and you actually think that these girls
are listening to your jokes, but they just want to look at your face.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Like Adam Ray.
Is he a swarthy?
No, he's a little swarthy.
Yeah.
But he's a, he's a yummy.
Yeah.
He's a yummy.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We'll find, we'll find yummy. Yeah, I don't know about it.
We'll find we'll find we'll figure it out.
But you and Godfrey could really take down the white and black population.
We're going to be Godfrey next week.
So you got to go to Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge.
But if you want to hear the Jim Gaffigan interview and the Godfrey interview a month before anybody else, Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge.
And like Chris said, the Godfrey episode will be up a week later because he got bumped.
That's what it is.
I just forgot.
Yeah, it wasn't an intentional bump.
No, it was not at all.
You know, Gaffigan, he could only, you know, make a certain time.
So we appreciate both of them doing the podcast.
Yeah, I mean, they're both big gets.
I haven't seen you in two weeks, cuz.
I know.
It's fucking wild.
I know, I know.
I missed you, cuz.
But you know, we texted the whole time.
We did text the whole time. Yeah, but you know what?
We're a little late.
As you know, this podcast, we texted the whole time. We did text the whole time. Yeah. But you know what? We're a little late. As you know, this podcast, we're a little late.
And the reason we're a little late is Chrissy just, you're Chrissy's, Chrissy bite off more
than you can choose.
Yeah.
That's who you are.
Chrissy bite off more.
Chrissy takes on too much.
Yeah.
Chrissy takes on too much.
I'm Chrissy full plates.
Yeah.
Because he says to me, I think I was back.
We were both getting back the same day.
Right.
We're both getting back the same day.
No, no, no.
You got back Thursday. I took the red eye Thursday night, both getting back the same day. Right. We're both getting back the same day. No, no, no. You got back Thursday.
I took the red eye Thursday night, landed Friday morning at 5 a.m.
So I got back Thursday afternoon.
I went to Gotham.
So I was a little tired, but I got a full night's sleep.
Chrissy's like, no problem.
We'll do the podcast Friday.
I'm taking a red eye.
And then he goes, I'm going to go get drunk in an airport bar.
And then we'll be able to do the podcast at 830 a.m.
Yeah. You got in at at 8 30 a.m yeah you got
in at like 6 30 a.m and then you just your human body just needed to sleep yeah i got in at 6 30
a.m i went right to pick up the baby yeah i took and then you lied to me and zach and said i gotta
pick up the baby when this isn't gonna work out what really the situation was you just needed to
get some shut up because you're a drunk fucking irish dumb fucking dad no that wasn't a lie to
pick up the baby and the plan was i was. I had to pick up the baby. And the plan was I was going to pick up the baby.
And then my plan was I was going to have the baby because we thought it was a half day.
But I slept through the pickup.
And thank God Jasmine was there because my kid's mom was there.
Thank God her stationary bike wasn't moving that day.
And she was just pedaling in place.
So she was right by the school.
So she was able to pick up the baby.
And then Janice, I woke up to about five or six texts from Janice genuinely concerned if I was OK or not, because I fell asleep at nine thirty in the morning when my body just shut off and I didn't wake up till three thirty in the afternoon.
Yeah.
And that's never happened before.
And even the next day, I was still tired.
I mean, it's only I've only been home a few days.
I'm still tired. I mean, it's only been, I've only been home a few days. I'm only recovered. I feel like today. Cause I was filming every night from like 11 PM to six
o'clock in the morning, LA time. And then it was just all, I was all, my body was all fucked up.
Well, what made you think that you would be able to do that?
Because I thought I would get home. I thought my flight lands at five 30. I thought,
I thought my daughter was going to be taken to school by her mom, but she had to work.
So I thought I was going to be able to get home at 530, sleep from like 630 to 12 and then come and do the podcast.
But it didn't work out that way.
Yeah, it didn't work out that way.
But that's not a sufficient reason why you thought it was going to happen.
What do you mean?
The real reason is you're fucking stupid.
Yeah, it was a stupid idea.
It was a stupid idea.
But we're back here now.
We put up that We put up the episode
instead we put up the episode of Sergio
Chacon, who let's
just be crystal clear is one of our fucking best
friends. He's one of the greatest guys.
But he's just a little funnier offstage.
Weishong Xian.
No, he's
funny. Weishong Xian.
We're always joking. I'm just kidding. Listen, some people
are still doing jokes about his daughter being two years old.
Yeah.
And his people who's been dead for 15 years.
It's what it is.
But Sergio is our boy.
He throws hands.
He throws.
He can throw.
Because make the mistake.
Guy like Sergio.
You can be funny with him and fuck around him to a point, because if you cross that line,
you're going to get popped and you're going to get popped hard.
And it's going to be a combination.
Yeah.
I mean, if he throws throwing body shots at drug dealers, what do you think he's going
to do to a nasally Jew comedian?
Mike,
you have to weigh Sean Sheehan.
Puerto Ricans aren't going to punch people? No, no, no.
No, I said nasally Jew comedian.
I'm kidding around.
We got to get the fucking buttons on Sheehan.
Of course I meant J-O-O.
I'm just kidding around.
You hear what Isaac said?
He goes, Jews aren't nasally.
No, he's not, you goddamn terrorist.
Here's the deal.
Our podcast is brought to you by a few sponsors that we want to shout out.
And we have more now, right?
Yeah, but we just got to get organized.
This fucking thing is run by misfits.
Look to your right and look to your left.
Those are our producers right there. We're not in good hands. Yeah. We're not in good hands. Can we pull up the sponsor information? By the way, I sent it to you guys. I know,
but we got it. We need a sheet. We need a paper that we just leave here. Um, for a hundred
dollars. If you go to our Patreon, you get all the benefits of all the patrons, which
by the way, if you're a $5 member, you know you're getting a bonus podcast
every week and how awesome that is. $10 members, you get the interview episodes. Make no mistake,
if you're listening to this, there's a Jim Gaffigan episode up there, as well as Nikki
Glazer, a bunch of other ones up there. There's four podcasts up there in rotation before they
get released to the toots, so you can enjoy it for a month on patrion.com slash Bay Ridge boys.
If this is your first episode that you're listening to,
you probably didn't make it this far.
Cause we went completely wild.
And you're wondering why it's a history podcast.
Once in a while,
me and Chrissy will just go straight hyena.
This was a situation where we decided to do that.
Cause we haven't seen each other in two weeks.
So the next episode is going to be about Charlie Ross,
which is an interesting episode.
First kidnapped kid for ransom in America and where we live.
Bay Ridge ends up playing a role in that story.
So stick around for that.
Also, we joke around about everything.
If you hear the way Jean Jean button, that means we're just playing.
We're just joking.
We're trying to make you laugh.
And this podcast is brought to you by
did you did you get it up I was trying
to kill time for you to get it up yeah well
I don't know where the I don't
have the new patreon members yeah
and there's well yep our podcast is brought to you
by the Dora Raja
Poxca who's
a comic out in
Berlin who's going to be hopefully
working with me on my UK dates at the Soho
Theater in London on June 24th, 25th.
You can find all links to all his dates, podcasts, episodes and social media stuff on live from
the sandbox dot com and can be found at Vidura Raja Paksa.
That's V.I.D.U.R.A.
R.A.J.A.P.A.K.S.A.
On all the social medias.
The Anything Goes podcast can be found through the link on the website homepage or at podcast.livefromthesandbox.com.
Also, we have a $25 member who says we have not called him and it's been like weeks or whatever and I can't find his name.
And he wrote something funny.
We have two other sponsors.
What's the...
I know.
I can't find it.
Keep talking, Chrissy.
I mean, we got to get better at this.
Yeah, we got to get better.
Well, while we're waiting, while we're waiting, I'd like to read out some of the new members.
I'll read them out quickly because we have a lot today.
Some of the new members of the Patreon.
And I'm just going to do a quick while Giannis is reading.
We got the first member is Brett Luskin, who sounds like a white piece of shit.
Thank you for your service.
Ali Pinto, who looks like a piece.
Frankie Ofrias, who's definitely beyond the
wall. And Frankie Ofrias is a $100
member of Small Business Support.
Frankie Ofrias, he's given us $100
for Small Business
Support. Yeah, but it didn't go
through. It didn't go through? So Frankie
Ofrias, you got your card declined, which is no
surprise. Yeah. So I don't think he's...
Wei Shanqian, please. Yeah, I don't know what our card is on go through okay fine yeah waylon mcgill your
name is waylon i mean you know who you are waylon is a white name let me just say this one real
quick because his kidney is his name is chris dad bun crush and he's pissed he says no fumes but
slightly fuming he goes make no mistake i just finished a strawberry banana smoothie for Mickey D's and I'm feeling kind of cute.
But I was pondering how I've paid the twenty five dollar subscription twice and still have yet to hear my name or read, hear my name read or get a call.
Much like both of your mothers.
I'm not upset.
Just disappointed.
Call him right now.
He says, I'm guessing it's because both Klu Klux Chrissy and way too honest.
Yannis hate the blacks deep down and Scrabble Fingers has it in for the Jews.
So this kid's probably half black, half Jewish.
And we'd love this kid.
We got to call him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, from the picture.
Yeah.
Yeah.
His name is half black.
If you're half black, half Jewish, you are screwed.
You're fucking screwed.
Holy shit.
You're screwed.
Chris, dad, bun crush. So, fucking screwed in. Holy shit, you're screwed in. Chris Dad Bun Crush.
So, I mean, we gotta
call this kid.
Alright, go ahead, Chrissy. Keep going.
Okay, so
then next up, we have
Frankie Ophias,
Waylon McGill,
Haley Bertrand,
who looks like a fucking piece, and then Kaylin Alex, who also looks like a fucking piece and then
Kaylin Alex who also looks like a fucking
piece, thanks for your service
Victoria Daggerpunt
who looks like a fucking piece and if your last name is
Daggerpunt then unfortunately your
ancestors aren't slaves
Jim Hyatt
who spells his name with two M's so that
means he's black
Jim Hyatt but he's not black he's white
Alberto
Pancho Villa who's just got a picture
who's got a picture of Pancho Villa
as his name so we'll do an episode
on Pancho Villa
then we got
no another spic
Osorio
oh my god that's his name I didn't
can you wait on she and his name okay that's no another s word Osorio. Oh, my God. That's his name. I didn't. Can you wait on his name?
Wait on.
Yeah.
OK, that's no another S word.
Osorio.
Eric, one name.
We know if you one name, you're black.
Yeah, me.
William Hayden Inskeep.
Another five dollar member who if your last name's Inskeep sounds like your family owned
slaves.
For sure.
Chris Gunter, who's upped his pledge to ten dollars.
Thank you, Chrissy.
You're a DJ.
Samantha Rosenthal. Nice Jewish girl from Long Island, most likely.
$5.
Christopher Penis Paul, $10.
Thank you for your service.
Christopher, full name.
Sam Simmons, another $10 hyena.
Black kid.
Black kid.
Harrison Ernzeller, a.k.a.
Harry Sandusky.
She's a five dollar member.
Yeah, it's funny.
Antoinette Moreno.
Que pasa mi gente?
Ten bucks.
Leo, I'll give you a burrito after I crack you open and clean you out.
Five bucks.
Thank you, Leo.
Anthony.
Anthony.
One name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Annie.
Hello.
Roy Richio.
Five bucks. Your last name's Rich name. Yeah. Yeah. Annie. Hello. Roy Richio. Five bucks.
Your last name's Richio.
Yeah.
Libs, the kitty cuck and Jap attack missile.
PPW nominee.
PPW nominee.
Twenty five dollar member.
Tyrannical.
She's going to get a call.
Sue do penis.
Five dollar member.
Yeah.
Ashley Patterson, who looks like a fucking piece.
Five dollars.
Slide into Chrissy's DMs.
Candice Terado, who looks like an absolute fucking piece.
Please sign into my DMs.
Candice Terado, $10.
Carrie McIntosh, $25.
Thank you, Carrie.
You're going to get a call.
Yeah, thank you for your service.
Yeah, thank you for your service.
Gina Panzano.
Wow, sauce monkey.
Sauce monkey, come over, cook for us.
Fucking better make sure those garlic is sliced thin.
Oh, we'll work you over physically.
Anita, one name.
Sounds like a piece.
Yeah, I mean.
Jordy, one name.
Yeah, I mean.
Chuddy or Jew?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Thank you, $5.
Ashley London, looks like a piece, $10.
Screwed in, non-GMO, too.
PPW.
PPW, $5. Screwed in non-GMO toot. PPW. PPW, $5.
Nice kid.
Then we got Danny Venegas.
Davey Venegas.
I'm sorry, $5.
Thank you for your service, Davey Venegas.
Jessica Bailey.
Looks like a piece.
$5.
Mikael Leitz.
Mikael.
Sean Fargo.
What's up, Sean?
Thank you, Sean.
Yeah.
Then somebody just named themselves Cuzzy Wuzzy.
PPW.
Go for the funny stuff, guys.
Go for the funny stuff, guys.
Ranuel the White Walker Lopez.
Okay.
White Walker.
White Walker, $5 member.
Yeah.
Amelia Visconti.
Amelia Visconti.
Yeah, she fucking better put some more meat in sauce.
Make sure the garlic is sliced thin.
Nicholas Young, $5.
Mama Corks.
Five bucks.
Who's that?
Shani Baro Santiago.
Que pasa mi gente?
Allison Rotundo, who looks like a piece.
Yeah.
Garlic sliced thin.
Megan Tucker.
Megan Tucker, your father's at the bar.
Come get him.
Brevin Drake.
Brevin Drake.
That's the wasp.
Abe Gutierrez
Yo que pasa mi gente
One name Tom
Black kid if it's one name
And that's it
Oh wow we got a lot
Thank you for your service
Those are the newest members of the matriarchy
And our podcast is brought to you as always
By a healthy smile family
And cosmetic dentistry
Down there in,
uh,
South Carolina with one of our favorite matriarchy members,
Dr.
Harvey Spencer,
Jr.
Who will do what to your teeth,
Chrissy crack them open and clean them out.
That's right.
Get down there at www.ahealthyhappysmile.com.
A Healthy Smile Family in Cosmetic Dentistry
down there in Rock Hill, South Carolina.
It's a state-of-the-art dental practice
with next-generation gaming for kids and adults.
We love you, Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr.
Also want to just give a shout-out,
a belated birthday to Dr. Harvey Jr.'s son, Trey.
He turned seven last week, so we just want to says son, Trey. He turned seven last week.
So we just want to say happy birthday, Trey.
Thank you for your service.
Your father's a true wild hyena.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we got to do the other $100 sponsors, too.
Yeah, we got to call this kid.
I'll call him up.
I reached out to one of the sponsors, Charles, and he hasn't gotten back to me yet.
We don't have another sponsor.
No, there's four of them.
There's four of them now? Four of them, yeah.
The one that you said didn't go through, there's another one, Charles Watson, I believe his name is.
What's his business? I'm not sure. I think
you said it was CBD. CBD oil?
Oh, that's CBD. Yeah. How come he hasn't
sent his info? Has he sent his info? He hasn't sent it
yet, right? I reached out to him through Patreon,
so once he sends us a read, we'll be able to read
him. But it's CBD oils and all that.
But we don't know anything about it.
Yeah, but we'll give him credit.
Once again, guys, join our Patreon, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
$5 members get bonus episodes every week.
$10 members get everything the fives get, plus the interview episodes, plus the videos of the podcast.
And those interview episodes are cooking with gas.
Cooking.
And then your $25 members, you get the phone call from us.
You get everything everybody else gets.
Plus, you get the wildest little videos and podcasts that we do.
Kamikazes, Walk and Talks are for the 10s.
The Kamikazes are for the 25.
We do all types of podcast episodes, me and Chrissy.
So go out there.
And, of course, our $100 members are our corporate sponsors, small business sponsors.
If you're a rich kid, go get us $100.
We'll read your ad every other week.
And me and Chrissy are also going to send videos to all of you.
We still got to do that.
We love you so much.
Cackle, cackle, cackle.
Cackle.
Thank you.
Do you want to call any of these $25 members?
Who do we got?
How many do we got?
We're going to call Gabe Chock full
of Leroy Torres. Let's call Gabe
Chock full of Leroy. Let's call him up.
I'm texting the number
just put it in the Skype.
Do you want to
take some of these Giannis? With the calls?
Remember like we decided like one
person will do it? Sure, I'll do it.
We got to get outside and start walking around, no?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Do you think like when we call these people, like they want to hear it on the podcast or like we just call them personally?
No, they want to hear it on the podcast.
Yeah.
That's the tough part about it.
But we committed.
The funny thing is we can call them anytime and then just edit it in.
I just reached out to Chris.
So when we're together...
I don't know how we record it though.
This isn't on camera, this number, right?
No.
It makes sure it's not on here.
No, it's not on here.
What's your name?
Hold on.
So this is Gabe Chockful of Leroy Torres.
Hello?
Chockful of Leroy Torres?
We are not a bill collector.
What's up?
Is this Chock Full of Leroy
Torres?
Yeah, baby.
Welcome. You are on
the podcast with Chrissy
Chaos and Peanut Head
Pappas.
Hold on,
boys.
What is he doing right
now? What are you doing right now?
What are you doing?
Chuck full Leroy.
What you doing?
Torres,
what are you doing?
Stop trying to look for fucking,
stop trying to look for exit tunnels to go under the wall.
There's a,
there's a huge echo.
Where are you?
Are you in a meat locker?
I'm at work. I'm at work. I'm hiding in the bathroom. If I get caught on the phone,
make no mistake, I'll get fucking fired.
Yeah, you'll get fired
and make no mistake, your boss is just looking
for a reason to call ICE on you.
What do you do, man, that you gotta hide in the
bathroom?
I'm an athletic trainer
actually, so shout out to the PT. Shout out to the first responders in the bathroom? I'm not a trainer, actually, so shout out to the PT.
Shout out to the first responders in the world.
Wow. Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service.
For real, thank you for your service.
Thank you for being a valuable $25 member.
What's the last thing you cracked open
and cleaned out?
Oh, my girlfriend, bro. I'm a loyal.
I'm a loyal toot.
I got a wonderful girlfriend.
She gets cleaned every night. Yeah, bro. I'm a loyal. I'm a loyal to. I'm a loyal to. I got a wonderful girlfriend. Beautiful. She gets cleaned every night.
Yeah, indeed.
Yeah. And she's a
peace. Question
mark? Oh, 10. Yeah.
Certified 10. Where do you live,
Leroy?
Where do you live?
Where do you live?
Yeah, I mean, he's hiding under a toilet right now
in Astoria
I'm from Astoria born and raised
you're a Greek kid
no come on dude no feta cheese
baby
Torres baby yeah
but you had Greek friends growing up
exactly
listen thank you for your service
go back to work we just wanted to give you a quick
call say we really appreciate
your loyalty and thank you so much
and real quick what's your favorite moment
on the podcast we ask everybody who's
24
come on that's in the name
talk to Leroy baby
Leroy amazing
I think we've hit the hey Burt time limit
yeah we love you man peace thank you for your service Let me give him a call from Leroy. Amazing. Amazing. Okay, I think we've hit the Hey Bert time limit. Yeah.
See you later. We love you, man.
Peace. Thank you for your service.
Alright, we're going to get one more.
Chris Dadbun just sent me his number
so we're going to give him a call right now.
We got to find out. I think this kid is
half black, half Jew, which is a great
combo. Yeah.
He's an Eric Andre
as we say. Eric Andre's half black, half Jewish.
It's a good
combination. So what's this
kid's name? This is Chris
Dad Bun Crush.
Chris Dad Bun Crush.
Yeah. Hello?
Dad Bun, what's up?
It's Chrissy D and Yanni P from the History Hyenas.
Oh, what's up?
What's up, cuzzy?
Cuzzy, are you half black, half Jewish?
Three quarters black, one quarter Jewish.
Your parents were screwed in.
Holy shit, Cous.
You're fucking, who's Jewish?
But I totally denounced the Judaism.
Who's Jewish, your mom or your dad?
My mom's Jewish.
Wow, so that means you're a Jew then.
You're Jewish because if the mom's Jewish, you come out, you got Jew all over you.
You can't wash it off.
Little Jew, little black, which means I'm broke, but I'm also cheap. Yeah, Cous, but you're fucking, Cous, you got Jew all over you you can't wash it off little Jew, little black, which means I'm broke
but I'm also cheap
cuz, you're screwed
do you walk around with a yarmulke on the afro?
I got a man butt
got a dad butt
yarmulke on the dad butt
cuz, where do you live?
from Chicago
good city, yeah
I'll be there August 22nd of the 24th.
Zany's Comedy Club.
You better come, you fucking toot.
What's the date?
August 22nd and 24th.
August 22nd and 24th.
I'll be there both days.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Wow, he's coming both days.
Because he's screwed in.
Half black, half blue.
These kids are screwed in.
And I bet you this kid, he cleans up,
so he's probably going to bring one piece one night
and then another piece the other night.
Yeah, dude.
When's the last time you cracked something open? No, as a secretly, so he's probably going to bring one piece one night and then another piece the other night. When's the last time you cracked something open?
No, as a secretly curious kid, I'm going to bring one piece and another piece,
and that piece might be having a piece.
Wow.
So what?
So you got, what are you saying?
You got a piece in the oven?
I take a piece in the oven.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You got some weird Chicago language going on.
Yeah, just go eat a deep dish.
What are you talking about?
You're not going to bring two peas?
Are you talking about guys?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now Yanni's listening.
You like some lady boys.
Now Yanni P's perked up.
Yeah, true blue guy.
Yeah, okay.
Love it.
Yeah, bring a couple guys.
Nothing like a good tie stick.
Yeah, well, if you're coming to see Chrissy, make sure you bring one for him.
Yeah.
Hey, Bert.
All right, cuz.
Cuz sometimes Chrissy likes to bring Houston to the city he's in.
It's what it is.
A little Houston and Chicago, I'm down for it.
Cuz, listen, we've reached the Hey Bert time limit, but I fucking love you. Thank you for your service. I'm going to call you every month and I'm going to see you and Chicago. I'm down for it. Listen, we've reached the Hey Bird time limit, but I fucking love you.
Thank you for your service.
I'm going to call you every month and I'm going to see you in Chicago.
Thank you.
Love you.
Keep it going, guys.
Thank you, brother.
Thanks for your service.
Thank you.
Cute kid.
Funny kid.
Gay kid.
Yeah.
Just openly admit he's a gay kid.
Yeah.
Or he's just not.
He's just wild.
Like he's just saying what he wants to say.
Yeah.
He's just kind of fucking.
He's not here for a long time.
He's here for a good time.
Yeah.
Listen, we're here for a good time not a long time we
don't even know what we mean chris has rubbed off on me in that way i'm i don't know who i am yeah
i could be a russian kid at this point yeah i just don't know what's happening i just don't know
what's going on i could be a little venezuelan girl who sells empanadas the other day at the
diner i ordered salmon on texas toast and the waitress was like what is that you just make
it for the sandwich i said yeah yeah that's where delilah gets it i just put salmon on Texas toast. And the waitress was like, what is that? Did you just make it from a sandwich? I said, yeah.
Yeah, that's where Delilah gets it from.
I just put salmon on Texas toast and it was good.
Yeah, Chrissy Salmon's.
Is that it?
I think we have time for one more.
Let's do it.
Let's do one more.
Let's do one more.
Who's this, Mush?
I mean, this is Stacy Chan.
Oh, yeah.
This is my girl right here.
Yeah.
Have we spoken to her before? I don't think Chan. Oh, yes. My girl right here. Yeah.
Have we spoken to her before?
I don't think so.
No, not yet.
These kids know it's going to be a brief call now.
They're used to it.
We got a paper time limit.
We have to stick to it.
Because we're German.
Yeah, come on, Stacey Chan.
She's Asian. She's probably working. She's like got
responsibilities. Yeah.
She's probably a doctor. She's probably working.
She's working. Asians fuel the
American economy. They do.
She didn't pick up.
You have reached the voicemail.
Alright, we'll call you back, Stacey Chan. We'll call you back Stacy Chan
We'll get you back Stacy Chan
So that's about it right we got everybody
Alright thanks everybody
Love ya Bye. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.