History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 67 - Charlie Ross is WILD!

Episode Date: April 28, 2019

The Hyenas talk about one of the the first kidnapping case in America ever of kid Charlie Ross. WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow... us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. hello my mic is not on we gotta start that over why who's my mic was off is it on right now yeah well just let's just keep going huh let's just keep going. Why? Because my mic was off. Is it on right now? Yeah. Well, let's just keep going. Huh? Let's just keep going. You started off and the mic was off. It's just what happens on the hyenas. Sometimes you start the podcast and the mic's off.
Starting point is 00:00:54 So if you heard a little dead air, the reason is because Zach didn't turn Giannis' mic on. Because make no mistake, he's not Jack today. No, what happens is sometimes when he's typing on the keyboard, he gets confused looking at the fingers and looking at the keys. Yeah. Because on his finger, he'll have an E, but the typewriter will have a C and then he'll type an E instead of a C. It's just what it is.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Yeah. He gets confused. Yeah. Yeah. We are the history hyenas. I am Freddy Fettiches and that is chrissy pick up the baby chrissy pick up the baby to stuff but no thank you guys so much for joining us for another episode we have a wild episode today we don't have godfrey on so it's gonna be all right um yeah godfrey's
Starting point is 00:01:38 episode was fucking wild and how's your temperature right now? My temp? Your personal body temperature, low grade or are we norm 98.7? I'm normal, but I'm normal, but swing towards low grade because I've already had a day and it's not even 220. Yeah. So you're probably about ninety nine point two and ninety nine point two. And I cancel what I'm doing for tonight because make no mistake, the baby is by my mother's house and I just want to go to a place where everybody's white. Make no mistake. The baby is by my mother's house and I just want to go to a place where everybody's white. And if we are not able, I'm just going to bring a falafel into the studio soon.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Yeah, we're not allowed to eat in this studio because it's just stupid fucking rules. Make no mistake. There's a lot of people that go around every single day and just do stupid things based on tradition and live by stupid rules that actually make no sense. But they're not looking deep enough inside themselves to just be like, why am I even doing this? They're just doing it. You have to think outside the box. Yeah, well, Bobby's trying to set some rules for his day.
Starting point is 00:02:32 So for at least an hour or two when he does his podcast, he sets a rule that he can't eat because for the other couple hours of the day, the many he's eaten. Well, I heard that it's not Bobby's rule. It's the Jew that owns this. Yeah. It's the Jew that owns this. Yeah. It's just truth.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Yeah. Okay. So that definitely we could do a Jew voice for him because he's an actual Jew. He's an actual Jew. I don't want any falafels up here because then the mice crawl upstairs and then boogity boogity boogity boo. And here's the thing. And here's the thing. Here's how the rules work. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:11 If you want to do podcasts, which he's doing a podcast, he has known the odor of the comedy seller does a podcast. Yeah. And he does it on, I believe he does. Yeah. Which is what we're on. Nobody's interested in it. Well, the thing is this. If you want to come on and do a podcast and you have you can't you have to be open to taking shots. Yeah. If you want to cross the line, be a comedian, be have you can't you have to be open to taking shots.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Yeah. If you want to cross the line, be a comedian, be an entertainer. Yeah. Then you just you know what I mean? You're basically just stepping into the arena. Exactly. So whatever you want to say. And I just gave him a nice quick shot. Bang, bang. And make no mistake, I don't care because I don't work here. I care and I do work here. So I love, you know, I'm good. Hummus. And if Bobby says anything about the fact that we're eating falafels in here what are you going to give him I'm going to give him a one two three
Starting point is 00:03:49 combo and I'm going to give him a right hand to the stomach and watch his shorts fall down like he's in Tyson's punch out yeah Bobby just looks like Butterbean if Butterbean never boxed yeah it's just what it is yeah yeah it's just what it is and cuz Mike emoji, it's just what it is. And cuz Mike emoji face Mike mush right now is in San Antonio. Still, he can't get over the wall
Starting point is 00:04:10 and Zach Isis is here with more tattoos on his fingers. Yeah, he's just have you ever tried to type on your finger by accident? Like your left hand saw your right hand and tried to type on it. Your Mike's not on. Yeah, cuz Jesus Oh oh yeah so oh so you know what we're not going to be able
Starting point is 00:04:30 to hear isis this episode that's a big loss it's just what it is the fans are going crazy at what point do we just say we're not coming into the studio anymore we're just gonna have isis come out set up the mics for us and we're just gonna going to press the Weishan Chi and buttons on our own. At what point do we just say we're cutting out the travel? And it doesn't matter. We're only coming to do guests. Because I'm getting sick and tired of being in here for four hours. What we're going to do is me
Starting point is 00:04:55 and you are just going to, I'm going to get a new apartment like I told you. Which you said, yeah. Yeah, I got to spend all my savings for another down payment for a bigger place for my wife and hopefully it works out. Maybe it will, because deep down. I'm fucking stupid. Fucking stupid.
Starting point is 00:05:10 I should just stay in this place until I can afford something bigger. But right now I'm going to put down all my savings at a bigger apartment. And what we could do with my current apartment is turn it into a studio and kidnap Mike Emoji Face and Zach Eisen and just force him to live there. Cuz, did you get the new apartment? Did you put an offer in? Cause I'm putting offers in, but we need to start a fucking history.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Hyena sweatshop immediately. Yeah. Well you, what, what's the deal with your guy that talks too much on the phone? Which guy? Elvis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:35 The guy who's the t-shirt guy who needs to just shut. Lou needs to just say, speak when spoken to. And when I say what colors are the shirts I want to put out on the website immediately. I don't want to know about what your day is and what the plan is for your five year business plan. Because my five year business plan is to use you for as much as I can and then fucking disconnect my phone. And have you never talked to me again?
Starting point is 00:05:53 Because make no mistake, I'm going to be a superstar and I will forget the little people. And you're also in five years have dreams and goals to become an amateur boxer. Yeah. And because when's your first fight going to be? Because my first fight's probably gonna be in child support court um no my first fight um i don't know we'll do it when we get to when we get to 1600 patreon members which go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys we're gonna throw sweet 16 at the ridgewood moose lodge on grand avenue ridgewood queens and i think when we get to 2500 patreon members i'll have my first fight.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Yeah, I'll fight a patron member. By the way, the Patreon draft has started. Hashtag team special because I need a falafel team. Special needs Stamos and team Chrissy D cups. Yeah, those are the two teams. And we're off. The first game has begun. Go to our Instagram at History Hyena. If you're on
Starting point is 00:06:45 one of our teams and you were drafted, you have your assignment for the week. You got till Friday to submit your videos. The winner gets to crack open and clean out Zach Isis. It's just what it is. And if you guys are looking for some road dates, go to ChristyComedy.com. I got a lot of road dates coming up. I got Boston. I
Starting point is 00:07:02 got New Hampshire. I got Portland, Maine. I got Phoenix, Arizona. I got a bunch of ones coming up. Ohio, christycomedy.com. And for Giannis, you should go to giannispapas.net. Where are you going to be, Giannis? Giannispapas.net is down right now. I got a new website going up. So just follow me on Twitter. Follow me on Instagram. And I got no dates coming up right now. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Make no mistake. Your one wish from Santa should just be for a career.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Yeah. Right now, I got one leg out of the business. Yeah. Well, but no, I got one. Look, look at my shirt is. Yeah. You got a Soul Joel Richardson shirt on, which is he's he's our dear friend. Soul Joel Richardson, Kung Fu Panda, Frank Sabine's show.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Great kid. We're going to do some of his gigs again this summer. But cuz, make no mistake. I'm about to put a tour on with him, cuz make no mistake, I'm going back to Soul Joel gigs exclusively. It's just what it is, cuz you got a wife, and she doesn't understand. She's going to start to be like, daddy, my daddy was a doctor, and I would point at things, and I would have them. So why can't I have an apartment? And you're going to say, babe, we're going to get you that apartment but it's going to have
Starting point is 00:08:06 to be through soul Joel it's going to have to be be through soul Joel and private birthday parties where I put the more Risa with you're going to have to put them a lot of people eat off that wig through great words surgery cone but what I will say let me say this even though it's going to be coming out I know this episode's out Thursdays for our non toots who have went to patreon.com slash
Starting point is 00:08:21 Bay Ridge boys for our fucking full blown prostitutes that are listening to this episode for free. You'll hear this on Sunday. Either way, Giannis would have already recorded his hour special. Andrew Schultz presents Giannis Pappas blowing the light, which is, which I put card in a blow.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Yeah. See is, yeah, it's a fucking eggplant. I want to put my mouth. Yeah. What's called a poly gassy, AKA poly vitamins.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Yeah. He thinks that's a little gay, but he was have filmed his special. Andie Vitamins. Yeah, he thinks that's a little gay, but he was, have filmed his special, and then cuz, once that thing hits, I mean, it's just going to be a different Yanni P. It's going to be dates. It's going to just be back to fucking Yanni tickets. We don't know what's going to happen, but I do want to
Starting point is 00:08:55 say thank you to everyone who bought tickets. Sold out. Sold out on a Tuesday in 13 days. And you offered me to come open the show for you, which is very kind. I would have done it, but make no mistake, what did I have to do? Pick up the baby. So I was with the baby.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Chrissy, pick up the baby. So yeah, this is going to come out after I shot it. So if it went good, it went good. But thank you for everybody who bought tickets. I appreciate it. And thank you, Andrew Schultz. Thank you, Emilio. Thank you, New York Comedy Club. Thank you, Emilio. Thank you, New York Comedy Club.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Thank you, Amy. And I don't know how it went. Right now, I'm talking in the future. So I think it went good. I'm going to tell you it went good. It went good, yeah. It went good. It went well.
Starting point is 00:09:35 So, yeah. So we're having a lot of fun on this podcast. It's a lot. We have, you know, interviews coming up. And we were trying to get to this last week. Because, you know, make no mistake, we're history hyenas.enas so we love to talk about history but we're also fucking hyenas so sometimes it goes off the rails sometimes but you brought this up the book that uh mrs poppins got both of us because make no mistake you have two wives you have your wife mrs poppins and then you
Starting point is 00:09:57 have your wife mrs de stefano yeah so she got us both this book which is about true bay ridge crime stories and what we discovered is one story, a famous kidnapping case, Charlie Ross, who was the first big kind of celebrity kidnapping case, actually, even before the Lindenburg baby. Yeah. So this is the first one. And so we know we've we found some interesting ways how it connects to Bay Ridge. Yeah. Very interesting story. Charlie Ross.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Little baby. I'm saying Charlie Rose, but it's Charlie Ross because make no mistake, I'm fucking stupid. You're fucking stupid. Yeah, cuz. Make no mistake. I just want to say this real quick. For the third weekend in a row, another one of our Patreon members got cracked open and cleaned out. It's three in a row.
Starting point is 00:10:42 At number four, you know who's coming. I'm coming to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. You know who you are. Get it cracked open. Yeah, because we're the only podcast where we have a very intimate relationship with some of our fans via Chrissy D's peeps. Yeah, if you, I'm going to just say this. If I cracked you open and cleaned you out and you're willing and able to share a story of how it went on the Patreon, go ahead and post it. I don't mind. Go ahead and post it on the community board if you got cracked open cleaned up by chrissy d and if i said hey babe suck your dick the only way it's gonna get hard
Starting point is 00:11:12 if you suck my dick babe just do it i don't care yeah we already found out from the great uh christina hutchinson shout out christina hutchinson shout out guys we fucked yeah uh friends of the show yeah by the way guys on our patreon all our interview episodes we have gaffigan up there oh my god jimmy g tank sinatra up there we've had rachel feinstein joe list uh who else ben jules schultz andrew schultz ben kissel who was the snoozer andrew schultz no ben kissel was great kidding it was all about wrestling it was great it was wrestling so a lot of girls didn't get it. Yeah, a lot of girls. But the guys loved it. We'll have Jared Freed up there.
Starting point is 00:11:47 J Train, we'll have Nimesh Patel. Yeah. It's just a nonstop. We're probably Ari Shafir. We're forgetting a few. Oh, Ari Shafir was up there. But here's the deal. Are you going to go to Ari Shafir's barbecue tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:11:56 I may. I got to see what's up. But here's the deal. If you go to our Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys channel, where our matriarchy continues to grow, we have fun games. We've got a Patreon draft going on. We've got videos. That's how you really support us.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Guys, in 2019, you can get the content you want if you support it. It's a beautiful thing. We got so – what are we up to? Six hundred and something. Seventy-something fucking hyenas in there. And we got small business sponsors, which we're going to get to in a little bit. Yeah. And so you can go join and become a $10 member and get those interview episodes for a month before they're released to the low eating toots.
Starting point is 00:12:35 If you're a toot, that means you're a low ranking member of the cackle and you eat after the matriarchy members eat first. It's what it is. And we're fucking screwed in goddamn kids. You're screwed in kids. Let's talk about Charlie Ross. So Charlie Ross. Or Rose. Yeah, you know.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Is it Charlie Rose or Ross? It's Ross, you fucking stupid German. Charlie Rose took his pants off and jerked off and got fired. He did, right? But then Charlie Ross was kidnapped. And then, yeah, let's just talk about it. So Charlie Ross is the first ransom kidnapping recorded in American history. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And we're going to take you all the way back to summer of 1874. What a good summer. In the summer of 1874. And we know white babies are valuable. Yeah. Yeah. Cops will look for a white baby. A white baby.
Starting point is 00:13:24 That's yeah. That's worth a lot of money, especially a rich person's white baby. Yeah. The detectives and police were on call for this. Since everything had to be hand sewn back in the summer of 1874, it would have my pants would have cost a pretty penny because make no mistake, I would have an above average size, but for the normal person of that time. Yeah. You look, let's just call it, call it what it is. Just call it what it is.
Starting point is 00:13:50 You would have been someone who would have done a kidnapping like this. Yeah. You wouldn't have had it in your heart to do it. Yeah. But you were not, you wouldn't have been a guy who rose up the ranks of society back then. Not back then. No, I would have been a civil war casualty.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Most likely. Yeah. If I somehow miraculously survived the Civil War, I would, without a doubt, would have had syphilis on my cock and balls, because no condoms, but I would have still been going raw dog on these girls. And I would have probably, because comedy
Starting point is 00:14:16 wasn't available, physical therapy wasn't invented yet, I wouldn't know what to do, so I'd probably just start kidnapping babies. Yeah, but let's be honest, you only got into physical therapy and comedy in modern times because A, at the beginning you got into physical therapy because you wanted to be close to Filipino
Starting point is 00:14:31 boys. Yeah. And then you got into comedy because you wanted to be close to Puerto Rican girls. Yeah. So back then, neither one of those things was available because Filipinos hadn't come here yet. Yeah. And Puerto Ricans, this was before Maria, Maria. This was before West Side Story. Yeah. So your two favorite things't come here yet. Yeah. And Puerto Ricans. This was before Maria, Maria. This is before West Side Story.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah. So your two favorite things didn't exist yet. Yeah. So you just would have been a fireman. I would have been a firefighter and I would have been a fireman or a cop. And I probably or I would have been a criminal. I would have been when I would have kidnapped people. And you would have been right.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Yeah. They wouldn't have had a uniform that you could fit that fucking answer my mask into. It's just what it is. So what happened with Charlie Ross? He was playing outside one day. What was he doing? Guys, let's just start with the expression.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Don't play with strangers. No, don't take candy from strangers. Oh, God. Because I need a falafel. You need a falafel. Don't take candy from strangers is a saying that actually derives from the Charlie Rose kidnapping case or Charlie Ross, whichever way you want to say it. Can you say Charlie Ross? And then I could say things right because we're off today.
Starting point is 00:15:26 We're off today. My eyes are burning. I got itchy eyes from my allergies. Yeah, my nose is burning, too. I need some saline solution to clean it out. Yeah, I got to hit my neti pot. Bit, bit, bit. So Charlie Ross, the expression don't take candy for strangers.
Starting point is 00:15:39 From strangers. Not for, from strangers. From strangers. Fucking stupid fuck. Do not take candy from strangers. Comes from Charlie Ross's story. That's right. So what happened is Charlie Ross was a four year old kid.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Yeah, he was a four year old kid and he had a fucking brother who was a five year old kid. Yeah. And make no mistake, those are called Irish twins. Yeah. When you just get pregnant and then have the baby and then immediately have another baby. Yeah. Those are just called Irish twins.
Starting point is 00:16:04 As soon as mommy gets sewed back up, you just push the piece right back in and make another baby for Catholic Jesus. Because make no mistake, you're going to have to have multiple sets of Irish twins because you're getting close to dying. Yeah, I'm getting too old. Yeah, I'm fucking retired now. Yeah, because you're just going to have to. Unfortunately, now, Mrs.
Starting point is 00:16:20 Poppins, because when you get married, what the rules are of this great country and not that I ever forget the laws and rules of this great nation unless there's reporters outside then I will forget them and I'll take everybody physically beyond that fence beyond that fence I'll put my dog back first I'll put my dog back first and I'll take everybody physically you fucking crumbs um
Starting point is 00:16:37 but unfortunately your wife doesn't have any rights anymore yeah so if you want to have the baby right now and put it in her then you're just going to hold her down and do it yeah that's just what it is right what it is she doesn't have any rights anymore. Yeah. So if you want to have the baby right now and put it in her, then you're just going to hold her down and do it. Yeah. That's just what it is. Right. She doesn't have rights.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah. So, yeah. So Charlie Ross was born in May, was born in 1870 in the Philadelphia area. A lot of Philadelphia. Yeah. He was born in a,
Starting point is 00:16:59 in a, in a, in a Philadelphia area in a, in a place called Germantown. Oh, it's Germantown. Yeah. It sounds like me.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Now, do you think he was, it was now, was he born closer to the Wooter? Over here, we say water. Over there, you say Wooter. Yeah, over here, it's the Smithtown Water Department. Yo, shout out to the Smithtown Water Department. Shout out to the Smithtown Water Department. Over there, it's the Germantown Wooter Department.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I just want to say hello to the boys out there at the Smithtown Water Department. You're doing fine work. Thank you for the water. Thank you for the Department. I just want to say hello to the boys out there at the Smithtown Water Department. You're doing fine work. Thank you for the water. Thank you for the water. I need a water. And if you're in Germantown or Philadelphia area, listen, thank you so much for the water. Thank you so much for your water. So he grew up in Germantown, which is close to the water in Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Yeah, it's close to the water. And what it is is Germantown, which is now just part of Philadelphia because all these cities keep expanding. But back then, you know, just like Bay Ridge used to be like a vacation spot for rich people. It used to be a village, an actual village. Yeah, with like fucking cows and sheep. Yeah, farmland. It was farmland. And a lot of rich people lived here.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And we're going to get to that because what this story goes to Bay Ridge, like we'll tell you. Yeah, it's going to get to Bay Ridge and it's going to get wild. Yeah, it gets fucking wild. And it gets to a rich person's house. But Germantown back then was a suburb of Philadelphia because Philadelphia was smaller. Yeah, it was smaller. Even though right now Philadelphia is one of the biggest geographical cities in our country. Back then it was just a little smaller and it was by the Witter.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Yeah, it was by the Witter. So Charlie Ross was. Do you know, just real quick, what it was by the Witter. Yeah, it was by the Witter. Yeah. So Charlie Ross was a... Do you know, just real quick, what date was he born? He was born on May 4th, 1870.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Do you know if that was a Tuesday? It could have been a Tuesday. Was it a Tuesday or was it a Wednesday? It could have been a Tuesday and his
Starting point is 00:18:37 parents could have been him. Were they him? Do you think, okay, let me just ask you the last thing and then we'll get to it. I know, because we
Starting point is 00:18:44 know he's going to get kidnapped. Do you think he could have potentially been kidnapped because his dad was distracted and was eating a hoogie He could have been eating a hoogie Or his dad could have been distracted and been the fool Yeah or maybe he was trying to get reception And watch the Philadelphia Eagles Or maybe he was drinking a Diet Coke
Starting point is 00:19:00 Maybe he was making Diet Coke Or maybe he was good for. Sandy coming in the back. Look at me. I'm Sandra Dee. That's what you call it. That's what you call a Sandra Dee coming out of left field. Yeah, that's a surprise. Sandra Dee of Pearl Harbor. Yeah, that was a Pearl Harbor Sandra Dee.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Which happened last week when the video guy just came in unannounced. Incoming. Incoming. Sandra D. Yeah. To the left. Because that was hilarious. That was like a relief pitcher marching out of left field.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Yeah. He went rogue, this guy. He can't just come in. We were talking about kooks and hoagies and Sandra D. just came into the story. It just popped out. All right. Go ahead. So Charlie Ross and his brother Walter were four and five years old in 1874.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Right. And for a couple of days they were playing outside because it's the summertime. You could play outside. It wasn't, you know, you didn't have maniacs running around back then. So they thought. And plus you're living in Germantown. So they have German immigrants living there. And they were all well to do because the place was weird. So you don't think anyone's going to get in there.
Starting point is 00:20:03 But they're playing. They're having a good time. Whatever. It's a lot of open space. You know, it's a neighbor community. Got a lot of Germans out there just marching, kind of coming up with different ways to get different groups of people out of the way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Being German fucking scumbags. Being German fucking snow monkeys. Snow monkeys. Or in Germantown, they probably... Snoo. Snoo? Snoo monkeys. Snoo monkeys.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Snoo monkeys. Snoo... Snoo? Sneeminkies. Sneeminkies. Sneeminkies. So they were playing outside, and for a couple days before the fateful day in question, which was July 1st... Okay. Two guys. Two guys, see? I mean, which... I picture when I was...
Starting point is 00:20:39 When I was reading about this story, I just pictured the guys, because one guy's name's Moshe, and the other guy's name's Douglas. Uh-oh, Moshe. Yeah, Moshe because one guy's name is Moshe and the other guy's name is Douglas. Oh, Moshe. Yeah, Moshe. That guy's screwed in. He's screwed in. Yeah, so I just pictured them being kind of like those guys, see?
Starting point is 00:20:55 But this was actually the 1870s, see? So they weren't bad guys like in the movies in the 30s. Yeah. But they sound like it with their names, see? Yeah. So they were outside playing and these two guys, Moshe and Douglas, came up and started offering these little kids candy. Yeah, so let's just stop right there. You know, if I was live in 1874 and somebody offered me candy, you know I'm getting in the wagon.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Yeah, you're just going to be a kid who's going to be abducted. Because if you, as a little kid, if you just offered me candy, Puerto Rican toots, or a chance to throw hands, I'll get in your wagon. Yeah, or a black and white cook. Or a black and white cookie. Or a black and white cookie. Is that the Cantonese pronunciation? Yeah. Yeah. And that's just what it is? Do it again. Hit us again.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Because Cantonese just sounds funny, and it's just the way the cookie crumbles. It's just the way the cookie crumbles It's just the way the cookie crumbles I'm fucking crazy cookie crumbles and I support it So what happens So he comes and he gets candy Douglas what's his name Douglas and Moishe
Starting point is 00:21:55 So they hatch the plan these two These two hatch a plan and make no mistake It was probably masterminded by Moishe Because the kid screwed in he's a Jew So you're going to be Douglas and I'm going to be Moishe We're planning the kidnap I'll be Douglas and you'll by Moishe because the kid screwed in. He's a Jew. Yeah. Okay. So you're going to be Douglas and I'm going to be Moishe. We're planning the kidnap. Okay. So you're Douglas.
Starting point is 00:22:08 I'll be Douglas and you'll be Moishe. Okay, go ahead. All right, see, this is what we're going to do here. I'm the dumb one. You're the Jew with the brain. So you tell me what you want me to do, Moishe. Well, I think what would probably be best is, you know, what has a lot of high value currency is little white babies.
Starting point is 00:22:23 You make a good point, see. Now, here's the deal. All right. I usually don't like Jews. Yeah. Okay. But you got to shop mine and we need money because make no mistake with you fucking stupid kids.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Then let's go get a little baby. We'll give them some candy, maybe some a buckle of our and let, Oh, let me just put my creams on because I have rashes that pop up out of nowhere because I am Jewish. Can you hit the way? Zach fucking way song.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Yeah. Even though he's speaking your language, you fucking jihadi. Yeah. I'm sorry. Jihadi with a body. So they hatch a little plan. Well, Moisa and Douglas, see, and they started giving these kids candy to warm them up. They were breaking them in.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Now, were these the first two kids that they sought out, do you think? Or had they tried to seek out other kids? They scoped out this kid because they knew his pops had a little bit of dough. His pops had some dough. What's his pop? Now, how were you making dough back in those days? What was his pops doing? I think his pops was probably making fucking horseshoes.
Starting point is 00:23:22 No, Christian Ross, he owned a dry goods store. Oh, that's right. So these kids were fucking stupid. Yeah. So, Christian Ross, he owned a dry goods store. Oh, that's right. So these kids were fucking stupid. Yeah. So, I mean, he lived in a large house. He owned a store, but he wasn't like fucking loaded loaded. Yeah. He just had a little bit of money.
Starting point is 00:23:34 He had a little bit of money and he lived in a well-to-do area and they just picked these fucking kids. He was poverty rich. Yeah. And these two guys were career criminals. Yeah. Mosher and Douglas were career criminals. You have to weigh Sean Sheehan what I just said. What'd you just say?
Starting point is 00:23:43 I just said he was mildly rich Wei Shan Xian Cause you say so many wild things I just I'm getting numb to it Yeah so just give me another Wei Shan Xian Because that's wild what I just said Wei Shan Xian We could maybe even cut that out
Starting point is 00:23:59 Cause people just know we're just kidding. We're just wild kids. We're just wild kids. We're just kidding around. Because we're the most fucking loving kids in the world, but we just can't turn off the wild button. It's just what it is. Yeah. I mean, people have been telling us we might want to tone it down, and we just can't.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yeah, just can't do it. And it's just what it is. But we're joking. Wei Shangxin, Wei Shangxin. Wei Shangxin. It's just what it is at this point. It's just true. So these two fucking kids, by the way, Mosher had syphilis or cancer in his nose of his nose.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Yeah. So his nose was jacked up because to get syphilis on your nose, you got to be a pretty dirty fucking guy. Yeah. When when Charlie Ross's brother, Walter, described Mosher to the cops later, which I'm about to get to. They described him as having a monkey nose. Yeah. So he had like a hook fucking all the cartilage was wrecked. It was just gross.
Starting point is 00:24:51 It was like flat. He had a freaking syphilis out nose. But anyway, so these kids took the candy, told their pops about it. So their pops had heard about it. It's like, hey, these two guys gave us candy. But you got to remember, this was before it was an established thing where like you knew that like you don't take candy from strangers if you're kids you don't talk to strangers
Starting point is 00:25:10 cause there's pedophiles out there there's fucking weird people out there but mostly pedophiles right but these kids were getting broken in by these two dumb career criminals who were just trying to get familiar with them so they could get a little comfortable so then a couple days later,
Starting point is 00:25:26 they roll up and see the kids playing outside. Right. And this is, remember, it was July. This is July. July 1874. Yeah, this is July 1st. So 4th of July is coming up. Probably a hot day.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Yeah, so Moshe says, hey, boys, how you doing? 4th of July is coming up. Do you guys want some firecrackers? Yeah, would you like some firecrackers? We also have some kid dishes. And if you'd like, I know I have curls coming out of my hands because of my religion. Zachy, please, please, please, Zach. We got to clean the air, OK?
Starting point is 00:25:59 Because when Chrissy talks, it gets cloudy in here. Yeah. I'm sorry. Clear the air with that fucking way. If you're new to the podcast, Wei Zhong Jing obviously means we're just kidding. We're just kidding. We're just kidding, but go to patreon.com slash if you want to hear some things we say without the
Starting point is 00:26:14 Wei Zhong Jing button. It's most okay. Yeah, yeah. So he says to the kids, would you like some firecrackers? And they're like, sure,, would you like some firecrackers? And they're like, sure, mister. We want some firecrackers. We live near the winter.
Starting point is 00:26:30 We live near the winter. Yeah. So the two four and five-year-old kids are fucking stupid because they're kids. And plus, it's 1874. So they don't think anything's amiss. Yeah. And they don't know how to throw hands yet because Rocky wasn't born yet. It wasn't born yet.
Starting point is 00:26:43 And there wasn't a statue in the Philadelphia Museum to memorialize a fictional character. Yeah. How fucking can you just let's just take a second to appreciate Philadelphia. I mean, that would be like if New York had a statue of of of Christopher Walken from the King of New York. Yeah. It's just out there all like fucking Roger Rabbit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Or somebody. What was a movie where a New Yorker was in there? Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. He's a New York kid. Yeah. It's just out there all like fucking Roger Rabbit. Yeah. Or somebody. What was a movie where a New Yorker was in there? Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. He's a New York kid. Yeah. Philadelphia is just a little fucking water. It's just a little weirder down.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Okay. So Charlie Ross and his brother Walter. Yeah. They get out there and they're trying to take candy from Douglas and was. Yeah. Yeah. They already took the candy. They took the candy.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Now they're on the way in his car. Now it's like, get into the carriage and we're going to go get you. We're going to buy you guys a horse drawn carriage. Yeah, I think it was a horse. Yeah, yeah. That would be horse. Yeah, because we're talking about 1874. There's no clothes yet.
Starting point is 00:27:30 They don't got clothes. So he's like, we'll take you to the store and we'll get you guys some firecrackers. So the kids get in. Walter sits in the back. Charlie sits on the on the lap. I mean, can you imagine the time? The lap of the. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Of of I think Mosher. One of the guys, which is this is just normal back then. Yeah. I mean, can you imagine the time? The lap of the I think Mosher. Which is just normal back then. Yeah, I mean, nobody's thinking anything. I mean, you know. But that was the time where you could have probably like a 13-year-old bride and nobody would bat an eye. Yeah, things like that. Because you would not do well in a time like that. Yeah, I just, how do you get caught as a criminal? Like, when I was reading about this crime, it just made me think like before forensics eyewitness surveillance is all eyewitness yeah like if you would have to i mean yeah that you could get so many people got away with crimes back then so easy you can't get away with crimes now you just can't yeah there'd have to be like 10 witnesses you have to do it in front of people
Starting point is 00:28:19 in order to get caught yeah um and so they took him to the store. Charlie starts crying. He starts to, his senses start going. He's a four-year-old kid. He's a smart kid. Unfortunately, this is the end of Charlie Ross. Yeah. So we didn't know what he was going to become. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:31 But at the time, supposedly he's crying. Of course. And this is all recounted by his brother. Walter. Who tells a story later. Charlie starts crying, saying, I want to go home. They say, we're going to take you to Aunt Susie's house. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:41 But first we're going to- Aunt Susie doesn't exist though. No, Aunt Susie's just a fictional character. These two kids sound like the stupidest two fucking kids. Yeah. Because what they do is they give Walter, they stop by the cigar store that has firecrackers in the window and they say, Walter, go get us some firecrackers and get some torpedoes for your little brother.
Starting point is 00:28:58 The kid's four. He should be shooting off fucking firecrackers. Yeah. And I think the father actually was out getting sand for them to shoot the firecrackers into. Sand? Yeah. What's sandies? No sand.
Starting point is 00:29:09 So he could safely shoot the firecrackers into on the 4th of July. But he shouldn't have been letting these kids play with firecrackers at four and five years old. But it was 1874. 1874. Nobody cared. Let's be honest. Your life expectancy was about 25. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:21 And everyone lived life without a helmet at that time. It's just what it is. So this is how stupid the guys are, though. They let Walter out to go by the firecrackers and then they leave and take Charlie. But they fucking let a witness go, right? And one of the guys got a
Starting point is 00:29:36 syphilis nose. So eventually they identify the guy. So anyway, they take Charlie. Walter gets picked up by this guy. I think his name was Mr. Peabody or some shit. They, you know, so anyway, they take Charlie. Walter gets picked up by this guy. I think his name was Mr. Peabody or some shit. It was a neighbor on a Kensington area, whatever. Anyway, he gets brought back home.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Christian Ross, the father, finds out, asks, has anyone seen my son? And neighbor says, I saw him in the carriage with two guys. Then he starts to get a little worried. And then the ransom notes start. And these ransom notes, they're hilarious. These kids are so fucking stupid. I mean, it sounds like Zach Isis wrote them.
Starting point is 00:30:21 It sounds like they are not spelled correctly. It looks like it's on our Patreon.. It looks like it's on our Patreon. It literally looks like it's on our Patreon. Yeah. Yeah. If you go, you can read one. Zachy, can you blow one up? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Well, you can go to like where one's transcribed. Yeah. Because you can't even. It's fucking illegible. Yeah. Can you pull one up? Zachy? Zach.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah. Of course, Zach. We had this locked and loaded. Yeah. 45 minutes ago. But now it's just, you know, it's just what it is. It's just the hyena part of history, hyenas.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Charlie Ross's hairstyle was fucking wild, too. Because you cannot get Charlie Ross out of your head. He had a full perm like my Aunt Eileen. You cannot get Charlie Ross out of your head. Yeah, I keep saying, yeah, because, yeah, Charlie Ross. Yes, Charlie Ross. Little baby Charlie Ross. So this captured national attention. I mean, it was a national story.
Starting point is 00:31:09 The police, this is the first time they're dealing with something like this. Credit to the Philadelphia Police Department and also shout out Smithtown Water. Shout out Smithtown Water. Shout out Germantown Weider. Yes, but because the police in Pennsylvania, Philly back then, they kind of understood they were prescient and they knew that hey we don't want to succumb to these kidnappers because this will set a precedent and then you know everyone's kids will be getting kidnapped and that's that's the problem with kidnapping is like you can't give
Starting point is 00:31:38 into it yeah because then it's just criminals are going to go like this is the way you get paid and they wanted twenty thousand dollars which you're like, oh, okay. Like for your kid, you could pay that. But inflation back then, that would mean they really wanted the equivalent of $400,000. 400 grand. Yeah. So make no mistake, after your Comedy Central deal, you would have been able to pay it. I would have been able to pay it.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Yeah. And right. Or Joe Rogan could have just do one ad on his podcast and pay it. Yeah. Because make no mistake, if you're a $25 member on our Patreon, you know exactly how much Chris made last year. Yeah. You said it on a Patreon.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Yeah. Why did I say it? Because you live your life two beers in and you blacked out. There's one thing that you got from Catholic school, and that's you learned the ability to black out. To black out and block out. Yeah. Because do we have the ransom note?
Starting point is 00:32:26 Cuz, we got ISIS on the wheels of steals. Does that not have it? Stop getting confused with the keyboard in your fingers. Yeah. The part that's highlighted. Okay, there you go. Mr. Ross, Mr. R-O-S. So this guy can't say Mr. Ross either.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Maybe I'm the one who kidnapped him. Be not uneasy. You son, Charlie Brewster. Be all right. W.R.I.T. We is got him and no powers on Earth can deliver out of our hand. Yeah, that's full blown. Zach Isis. This kid is full blown.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Franks and Beans is a Franks and Beans fucking it. That wasn't probably Moshe. Yeah, that was probably Douglas. Let's just say that Charlie Ross got kidnapped by Franks and Beans. Yeah. Then the second letter that was excerpt from the first letter. Then the second letter asked for ransom. This letter moved the rock that hides him.
Starting point is 00:33:12 This is the lever L E V E R that moved the rock that hides him from you. Why you $20,000, not $1 D O L E R less-E-R, less, L-E-S, hyphen, impossible, hyphen, impossible. You cannot get him without it. The sum of $20,000 and $80,000 was the equivalent of about $400,000. Yeah, neither one of these guys were sticklers for spelling or grammar. But also, I read something that they think that it could have been they were doing this deliberately to try to throw people off to make them think that they were stupid yeah it could be that too but that too
Starting point is 00:33:50 i do think generally they were fucking stupid kids stupid kids now you don't let a witness go why would you not kidnap both the kids they probably like we i don't want to take care of both of them boss like one of them was the guy who was like hey boss hey boss and the other guy you think mosher was the the i think most of the brains they're screwed in guy who was like, hey, boss, hey, boss. And the other guy, you think Mosher was the brains? They're screwed on one that was like, here's what we're going to do. But Mosher had syphilis in his nose, so he was fucking stupid, too. I thought Douglas had syphilis in his nose. I think it was Mosher that had syphilis in his fucking nose.
Starting point is 00:34:13 I can't remember. That's gross. It was Mosher, yeah. Gross. Yeah, which means Mosher loves toots. Maybe Mosher didn't have syphilis on his nose. He just had a big Jew nose, and that's what they called it back then. Cuz we need a way shot. I mean, way song she ain't. Thank you. didn't have syphilis on his nose. He just had a big Juneau's and that's what they called it back then. Cuz
Starting point is 00:34:25 we need a way shot. I mean, way song she ain't. Thank you. I mean the fact that one even took me aback. Yeah. Yeah. The fact that Zach didn't press it immediately. I was just trying to test Zach. I did not mean what I said. I was just kidding to test Zach and Zach is worse than me. Yeah. This
Starting point is 00:34:41 may be the first episode where we just have to censor ourselves and tackle a few parts out. Okay, fine. Chrissy is unbridled right Yeah. This may be the first episode where we just have to censor ourselves and cackle a few parts out. Okay, fine. Chrissy is unbridled right now. Chrissy is a horse with no saddle and you are wild horses. I'm wild. Okay. So Charlie Ross gets kidnapped.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Walter's just fucking running around. He doesn't know what to do. He tells the pops. They go to the police. The police say, don't worry. This kid's going to show up because they don't even know what a kidnapping is back there. They have no idea. This is so new to the police.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Yeah, they're probably saying, hey, there's a couple of neighbors probably took him. Maybe they're a horse and bug. He broke down, but he probably just getting him some ice cream and they're probably just, you know, hanging out and he's just reading stories to him. They said most likely like if, you know, knowing him, he's probably down by the router with a hoogie. It's cheesy. So he, you know, could maybe it's Philadelphia cream cheese watching the Eagles fly. So don't worry about it. He's going to come back.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Days, days, days go by. Obviously, the father starts to panic. Then these ransom notes start to come in. And then we know we got a big problem. Yeah. And this is how, you know, these kids are stupid because they were sending the sending the notes, excuse me, from Philadelphia. Right. right and elsewhere but it was all in the immediate area so they knew where the guys were right they just couldn't find them because back then i mean it's just like how do you know
Starting point is 00:35:53 you go by witnesses i mean it's like right it's like i saw him with two guys i don't know i don't one of them had a syphilis nose the other one was just was an idiot yeah so um the thing is, the Ross family, this is why I think they're so stupid. The Ross family was not that wealthy. A, they owned the store. I mean,
Starting point is 00:36:10 you're not making that much money if you own a dry goods store. Right. Right. But they also lost a lot of money and were heavily in debt due to the stock market crash of 1873.
Starting point is 00:36:20 It was a bad day. So, they didn't have a lot of money. So, Christian probably couldn't even pay the ransom if he wanted to. But anyway, this kidnapping becomes national news.
Starting point is 00:36:30 At first, the police are like, should we keep it quiet? But national news takes a while back in those days. Obviously, remember, there's no TV, there's no nothing. So like circulating around newspapers like it was big, it was national, you know, it was huge news in Philadelphia, but right in New York City until it became national news, nobody even knew to look for this kid. so charlie ross even if he was you know nowadays
Starting point is 00:36:48 something like that happens immediately the whole world is notified look for this kid and that child most likely will be found eventually but this time it's like they could he could have been all the way up he could have been the next town over and they don't know what's happening yeah and like the great patrice o'neill pointed out um they'll look really hard if it's a white kid. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the funniest bits. And it's a really fucked up thing. And it's true. Yeah. And it's racist. It's like if it's a white kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:13 I mean, they send the Marines. They send the Coast Guard. They send detectives. They send local and federal state police. They put the member. And then Patrice goes, remember, those four football players went missing or whatever. He says they were in a boat and federal state police. And then Patrice goes, remember those four football players went missing or whatever? He says they were in a boat and they went missing.
Starting point is 00:37:29 He goes, they just went down and just looked like this left and right. And they're like, alright, we don't see them. And then the whole Natalie Holloway bit. Natalie Holloway. And they were like, what's the name of it? He goes, because the girl who got killed by that serial killer and not a serial. I guess he was serial killer.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Johan van der Sloot. Johan van der Sloot, whose brother is a comedy manager, which is fucking wild. Agent for UTA. Yeah. Yeah, he's an agent now. Yeah, he killed Natalie Holloway, but he also killed like 14 South American and otherwise. And he was like, he asked the audience, he goes, Patrice goes goes what's the girl's name that um that uh vander sloot killed and the whole crowd goes natalie holiday and he goes oh yeah and what's the other um venezuelan girl he killed and then nobody says and he goes exactly
Starting point is 00:38:16 yeah he goes you know that big-headed third world bitch yeah so this yeah it was a white baby. So, you know, they put in a, it became, there was flyers handed out, posters printed showing his likeness, you know. Even a popular song got written. Do we get the lyrics to the song? By Dexter Smith and W.H. Broadway, entitled Bring Back Our Darling. And so this was really a national story. You can't find it.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Zach can't find the song. Zach found it. Yeah. I want to sing it. OK, so Chris is going to sing. This is Bring Back Our Darling by Dexter Smith and W.H. Brockway. While we're waiting for it to zoom in, I'll just start off.
Starting point is 00:39:01 I'll warm up my vocals. Were you there when they crucified my lord oh oh sometimes it causes me to tremble tremble tremble were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble. Chris, will you take my cloak upstairs? Tremble, tremble. Bring back. We have to do communion, Chris. I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I love. First of all, say hello to your aunt eileen for me and lynn and i really think you have a lot of potential you're doing well in cyo saint matthias is in fourth place yeah of course there's always going to be one or two black teams visitations and first always always yeah but for a mostly white team in Ridgewood Queens yeah you're a star well and your father I'm happy to see him at some of the games as opposed to being at the OTB race
Starting point is 00:40:13 money now Chris go upstairs and get me my communion my cloak my cloak my cloak and wrap around my hot cock. All right, are we here?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Is something coming back, though? Did you feel something? When you were at Matthias this weekend, did you feel it? Was it coming back? I was at St. Matthias this weekend. I went to Easter Sunday Mass. Yeah, I know. My daughter.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I can always tell when you're in Ridgewood because I get a few wild texts. Yeah. Yeah. And all of them have a wall in it. Yeah, it's just what it is because i think game of thrones so far stupid yeah it's the third episode's gonna be nuts i like game of thrones and i enjoyed both you like both but it's just all setups right now yeah well i'm just i'm at a point in my life where i appreciate dialogue i know you're still a young kid you want things
Starting point is 00:40:58 to explode yeah i want things to explode but now that the now that the that the white walkers the white walkers the last scene of them is them coming to fight and Zach said it's the biggest fight scene in history it's going to be for episode three oh wow okay Chris is going to sing bring back our darling alright you ready because we couldn't find the song it was
Starting point is 00:41:17 written in 1874 in our home garden we had a sweet bud that promised to blossom in love. Listen to hear the sweet tones of his voice. We watch for his bright, smiling face. You have zero singing talent. Father in heaven, please hear our prayer.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Pray soft in the hearts of those men. Deep, deep had its tendrils grow into our hearts. We brought our father. Because there's no way this would have been a hit in 1874. This is what the world would be like without black guys. Yeah. I mean, we need black guys. Well, I don't know how to sing.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Like, I don't know what music notes mean. Because just white people's songs are fucking stupid. They're fucking stupid. This song is fucking stupid. The lyrics are fucking stupid. We just need black people. Yeah, we do. Because I would love to, I hopefully fucking Timbaland does a remix of this.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Yeah, that's all we need. It would sound great if T-Pain did the voice synthesizer and did it. That would be nice. So that was the dumb story. Yeah. So anyway, obviously, Christian and his wife, Christian Ross and his wife are highly distressed. They Christian, the father of Charlie, as time goes on, writes a memoir about it two years after the kidnapping because he wants to raise money to continue looking for his son.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Both of them basically dedicated the rest of their lives trying to find Charlie. Right. And they both died trying and broke. And people, the frustrating part is what most people believe is he was probably killed immediately, either accidentally or on purpose, and his body was just never found because she just can't find it. But a lot of people kept coming forward throughout the next 40, 50, 60 years claiming, I'm Charlie Ross, I'm Charlie Ross, because there was a large sum of money to be inherited, I believe,
Starting point is 00:43:17 from his family, right? What happened? You need some water? I just got choked up a little bit. I was just thinking about Father Bill. Yeah, what was that? What happened? Was that emotion? That was a really funny moment. What the fuck was that?
Starting point is 00:43:29 That was a real Irish... Did an emotion come up and it just snuck up? Through the push down? Past your triceps. One got past your triceps. You just need water. I just need some water. Shout out to the Smithtown Water Department.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Shout out. So they kept searching. 570 boys, like Chris was saying, claimed to be Charlie Ross. 570? 570 all claimed to be Charlie Ross for some weird reason. They all proved to be imposters. Charlie Ross for some weird reason. They all proved to be imposters.
Starting point is 00:44:12 In 1924, newspapers began running stories about the case to sort of commemorate the 50th anniversary of the abduction. The Charlie Project now is a database that lists all the missing kids. So it's all in one place. And that came from that, came from this, and it's named after baby Charlie Ross. His brother, Walter Ross, just ended up growing up and becoming a stockbroker. And they also had three sisters
Starting point is 00:44:40 and they all continue to receive letters from middle-aged men claiming to be his brother. The one guy who actually claimed he was and was able to get his name legally changed to Charlie Ross in 1934 was a guy named Gustav Blair. And at the time he was a 69 year old carpenter living in Phoenix. And he petitioned the court to have the court recognize him as Charlie Rose. Right. He claimed that he was he remembers he was abducted when he was four. Then he lived in a cave for a little while. Right.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And was eventually adopted by a man. And that man told him he was Charlie Ross or whatever. But his brother, the real Charlie Ross, his brother, Walter dismissed it and said, it's another fucking bullshit thing. Bullshit thing. And he's like, try Walter was like,
Starting point is 00:45:33 Hey, my brother's not alive, man. And, um, he'll never be found. And that's what it is. But,
Starting point is 00:45:37 uh, legally Blair's claim was uncontested and he changed his name to Charles Ross in 39. And, um, he continued to say that he was the Charlie Ross until his death. It's interesting because they say when kids get kidnapped, especially young or whatever, you start to forget who you are and you forget who your parents and you change and the trauma kind of changes you. So we never know if Charlie Ross ended up living as someone else or if he
Starting point is 00:46:02 died. We just don't know. And we'll never know. That's the thing just don't know. And we'll never know. That's the thing. We'll never know. We'll never know. But here's where the story gets fucking interesting.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Yeah. And involves the Bay Ridge boys, Chrissy Cackles, Chrissy Sammons, and fucking Fetty Fretty Cheese. Yeah. Should we fucking be screwed in juice right now
Starting point is 00:46:20 and say if you want to hear the Bay Ridge Park, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. It's a bonus. Wow. Or do you want to just do it now cuz how long are we in we're 46 minutes in but we still gotta read the patreon members yeah and we got our three uh three or four um sponsors so yeah i like that idea we're gonna go back to just for this one episode we're gonna do it jim serpico style in honor of the bread that he's baking yeah and we to, if you want to hear where the story gets interesting and how it relates to
Starting point is 00:46:47 me and Chrissy right now. Yeah. Yeah. Listen to, and let me just, yeah, yeah. Go to God finish.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Sorry. No, go ahead. No, I was going to say, yeah, if you want to surefire way to get fired as a manager and agent, just start putting up pictures of the bread you're baking.
Starting point is 00:47:02 And then we'll say, see you never. Jim, if you listen to this, Chris said that I didn't, you're fucking and then we'll say see you never jim if you listen to this chris said that i didn't you're fucking wild i'm just wild we know we all love jimmy serbs he's the man yeah we're just joking we're just kidding around we're totally joking he's doing great the bread looks delicious um patreon.com slash bay ridge boys to hear how bay ridge ties into the charlie ross story i'm screwed in jew right. Let me just stretch my legs out my knees hurt because I've been throwing hands. Yeah, guys. So you're wearing sweatpants today.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Well, they're Lululemon sweats. He's $180 sweatpants and I went with San Volcano and he convinced me that you got to pay for comfort. So I bought two men. I spent too much money on sweats. Yeah. Well, before you read the Patreon shouldn't we shout out our sponsors
Starting point is 00:47:48 let's shout out our sponsors do you have them locked and loaded well you start with the Patreon and I'll lock and load the copy I'll start reading the Patreon so when you join our if you guys don't know when you are become valuable members of the Patreon we read your name out as soon the first
Starting point is 00:48:04 week you join we read your name out if you want to patreon.com slash brave woods boys and welcome to the matriarchy so we got a lot of them so i'm gonna have to go quick yeah we got liz m lee liz m how you doing liz how you doing liz courtney who spells it c-o-r-t-n-e-y she's gonna get cracked open and cleaned up by chrissy d it's what it is logan melville what's up logan melville alan white walker def not a muzzy villa ppw yeah parker one name yeah yeah yeah kelly olivetti who's a piece parker thank you oh this is a big one thank you kelly this is a big one thanks good news thanks sinatra thanks to that you're joining the patreon thank you yeah thanks our fucking guests are joining the page right now so what's your excuse you fucking dude yeah patreon.com slash bayridge boys keith reeves keith reeves that's black kid
Starting point is 00:48:49 it's a black kid and then uh okay really quick we got a lot because we missed him last week uh john cloak john cloak i mean what are you a bad guy in a john wick. Nick Medlin. Nick Medlin. Wow. Ron D Paradise. D hyphen Paradise. I know that kid. He posted a video. He's from Australia.
Starting point is 00:49:11 He posted a video calling himself a cuties with a smoothie with his Australian accent. It was hilarious. Nicole come in tea who will get crack the fuck open and clean the fuck out. Is that her screen name? No, but it's just Nicole come in tea. But she put a parentheses. Come see you. I'm hyphen in hyphen tea. PPW. And yeah, but it's just Nicole Cumming T. But she put in parentheses, Cum, C-U-M, hyphen, in, hyphen, T. PPW.
Starting point is 00:49:27 And yeah, I mean, your dreams could become reality because Chris is a hyena. Leonard Ovite, O-V-I-T-E, O-V-A-I-T-E, who's a $25 member. Thank you for your service. I'm saluting right to the camera. Say that name one more time. He deserves it. Leonard Ovite. Leonard Ovite, we appreciate. I'm saluting right to the camera. Say that name one more time. He deserves it. Leonard Oveiti. Leonard Oveiti.
Starting point is 00:49:46 We appreciate. You're our Harvey Weinstein, which means you get to crack open and clean out Zach Isis. Erica Estrello, who is another fucking piece. Holy shit. Que pasa mi gente? Tony H, parentheses, Croatian. It's what it is. It's what it is.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Croatian. Que se mala? Dobre, dobre. Que se? PPW. It's what it is. It's what it is. Croatian. Gesimal. Dobre. Dobre. Kakose. PPW. Kweezy. Kweezy. K-W-E-S-I.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Konkom. K-A-N-K-A-N. This is one of Zach Eitz's friends. Mahade Adi. Mahade Adi. Mahade Adi. What's up, cuz? You're a muzzy cuzzy.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Welcome. Mahade Adi. Jamie Silas. Silas. Jamie Silas? Yeah, Silas. Yeah, that's it. I'm taking.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I'm going to meet Chrissy Brianna another fucker piece hey my name's Brianna I'm a senior at Mississippi State and I just love to meet Chris DiStefano
Starting point is 00:50:32 and sit in his lap Jake Salisbury he's gonna picture him with his dog hey what's up oh he's a $25 member oh Jake what's up man
Starting point is 00:50:40 we just want to thank you for being a $25 member and fucking we're gonna do beer bong hits at your house. Do it if your parents are out of town. Mackenzie. Hey, my name's Mackenzie
Starting point is 00:50:51 and I fucking love buying clothes on Poshmark. Yeah. Kayla Barnett. Wow. We are a white girl festival today. Yeah. This is Coachella. Wait, is that those three names? Kenzie, Michaela and Kayla. You three. Kayla Barnett. You three, Kayla, McKenzie, and-
Starting point is 00:51:09 Brianna. Brianna need to fucking meet each other on the Patreon board, our community board, where fans talk to each other, and you need to fucking just get white together. Yeah, just post the benefits of why oat milk is actually better than almond milk. Yeah, and you need to just meet each other and just have a fucking wine date. Have a wine date. Go get crazy. Get a burger.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Here we go. Here's one of your guys. George. George Opoulos. Yes, sir. Johnny G. Your mom is upstairs in the restaurant, baby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Patty Potato Nuts Cleese. Yeah. Good Irish. He's a good fucking Irish kid. Potato Nuts. You're a good fucking kid. John Cloak. No, you already said John Cloak. I said he was a bad guy in a John Wick movie because I don't a good fucking kid. John Cloak. You already said John
Starting point is 00:51:46 Cloak. I said he was a bad guy in a John Wick movie because I don't remember the fucking story. Oh, sorry. Well, that's it. Those are our Patreon members. That can't be it. Paxton Colby. Listen, hey, Paxton, you need to call Kelby and Mackenzie and you guys need to put on
Starting point is 00:52:02 your boat shoes and Mackenzie, you put on your fucking pearl earrings and you can guys go have a drink in a boat on the water. Yeah. Cause you guys are weight wasps. Do we have the sponsors? Cause we have the sponsors. Listen,
Starting point is 00:52:19 we're an innovative podcast. Like we said, you guys love us and we support and you support us and we appreciate that. So, this podcast is brought to you, as it's been brought to you now for two weeks, by 9th Street Auto Collision. Fuck yes. They are out there on the
Starting point is 00:52:36 island, Chrissy, where your dreams could have came true. Yeah. We are. Are they out in Levittown? Because that's where my mother always hoped I would end up. No, they're not out there. They're out there in Huntington. Oh, they're in Levittown? Because that's what my mother always hoped I would end up in. No, they're not out there. They're out there in Huntington. Oh, they're in Huntington. Is that close to Smithtown Water Department?
Starting point is 00:52:49 I don't know where Smithtown Water is, but Huntington Water Department's got good water. Got good water. So shout out. This podcast is brought to you by 9th Street Auto Collision. They are located at 133 West Hills Road, Huntington Station, New York, 11746. He's giving me the zip code if you want to send him a fucking love letter.
Starting point is 00:53:10 It's just what it is. Or a ransom note. Yeah. They're a family-owned business. They've been doing it for 20 years. 20 years? They're not fucking new to the game, Chris. They've been doing it for fucking 20 years.
Starting point is 00:53:19 They do great body work, and they give everyone a deal. Remember, they'll take a little something off the top. If you say history hyenas, they'll take a little something off the top. If you say history hyenas, they say that you'll get cracked open and cleaned out. Go Yankees. They'll basically crack open and clean out your car. Okay, who's next? They work with all insurance companies and they also do towing. You can call them at 631-351-5300.
Starting point is 00:53:39 That's 631-351-5300. Go get your car towed or cracked open and cleaned out. Ninth Street Auto Collision. Go ahead. Now, did we get this guy to send his copy yet? Who? Yeah, it's in the Patreon message. What's his name?
Starting point is 00:53:56 Charles Wagner. Finally. Charles Wagner. Yeah. This is our new sponsor. And also, why don't we... This is the CBD kit. You want to read this one?
Starting point is 00:54:05 I got it queued up, so I'll just read it. Charles Wagner right here. Yep. Go ahead, Chrissy. Okay. So the name of the brand, it's CBD Script. They're a premium CBD company owned and manufactured by Silver Laboratories. All of the products are 100% real and full spectrum.
Starting point is 00:54:22 All of their products are 100% THC free. Sorry, no fun, but it works great. They have topicals, tinctures, vape carts, gummies, and amp edibles, water additives. Manufactured on Long Island, New York. They're out on the island. Wow. CBD is good for anxiety, depression, arthritis,
Starting point is 00:54:38 back pain, epilepsy, autism, general well-being, and nicotine withdrawal. They have a CO2 extracted organic CBD, no hexane, heptane, butane or other toxic solvents. That's CBD script. It's manufactured by Silver Laboratories. Do they have a website or is it just CBD script? S-C-R-I-P.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Just Google CBD script. They didn't give us a website. What's the website? CBD script.com. OK, go to CBD script.com. That's CBD S-C-R- CBDscript.com. Okay, go to CBDscript.com. That's C-B-D-S-C-R-I-P.com. Yeah, they should do some promo codes for our listeners. So ISIS, tell them to hit us up with some promos so our listeners can get some discounts on some CBD oil.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Chrissy takes CBD oil and sticks it in his ass. He's definitely going to be buying it from you. So thank you to our new sponsor. And we're also brought to you, as always, by a healthy smile family and you. Yeah. So thank you to our new sponsor. And our, our, we're also brought to you as always by a healthy smile, family and cosmetic dentistry. That's a healthy smile, family and cosmetic dentistry down there in Rock Hill, South Carolina.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Yeah. It's at healthy smile, Rock Hill on pay on Instagram. And they are a state ofof-the-art dental practice with next-generation gaming for kids. And Lee Harvey Spencer Jr. Lee Harvey Spencer Jr. will crack open your clean,
Starting point is 00:56:00 will crack open your teeth and clean them out because I need a falafel. Yeah. So a healthy smile family and cosmetic dentistry in Rock Hill South Carolina you can follow them at a healthy smile Rock Hill
Starting point is 00:56:14 on Instagram and you can go to their website they have a website it is www.ahealthy happy smile.com in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Lee Harvey Spencer, we love you.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Yeah. And then Vashtura Rajpaka. Yeah. Who live from the sandbox.com. I can't believe he changed his website. He's going to be opening for me. Hopefully if we can get in touch on June 24th, 25th at the Soho Theater in London.
Starting point is 00:56:43 He's a comic from Berlin. He's got albums out. He's got his podcast out. Go to livefromthesandbox.com. Livefromthesandbox.com. Vidura Rajapaka, thank you for your service. Yeah, and if you want to become a $100 member, you'll become a sponsor of our podcast
Starting point is 00:56:57 and we will read your ad on our podcast like we just did. So we appreciate all of our sponsors. We're hoping for more. Also, me and Chrissy are going to send those videos we owe you, and we're also going to post them on our own accounts. We thank you guys. We thank you for your service. If you want to hear more about Charlie Ross,
Starting point is 00:57:14 head over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to hear how Bay Ridge ties in to the Charlie Ross situation and case. And it's a fucking doozy. I'm going to go suck a dick, and y'all is going to get some shawarma and some oil. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ you

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