History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 68 - KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON IS WILD!
Episode Date: May 5, 2019Krystina Hutchinson from Guys We F*****d podcast joins us to edify the boys on the genius of the golden era movie star beauty Hedy Lamar! A piece, an immigrant, a Hollywood studio movie star and a sci...ence genius inventor? So wild! She also reveals all after a few times going out with Chris, WILD BABE!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridgeenas i'm chris stefano, a.k.a. Chrissy Congestion. With me, as always, Giannis Pappas, a.k.a.
Petri Dish Pappas.
And with us, as always, a.k.a.
a.k.a.
Mahadi Isis.
Zach Isis, Caliphate Zach.
Tattoo Fingers.
Yeah.
And now, today, we got a special guest.
I love doing the fucking guest interview.
I love just having guesties on.
Yeah.
I love having just being my... Because you're sick of me. Yeah, I'm sick of you. Yeah. And I love having my besties be fucking guest interview. I love I love just having guests. He's on. Yeah, I love having just being because you're sick of me.
Yeah, I'm sick of you.
Yeah.
And I love having my besties be my guests.
Yeah, that's what I love.
And we have from the wildly famous, successful and amazing, beautiful podcast.
Guys, we fucked Christina Hutchinson, everybody.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
I live up to that.
Hey, Hutch. I did your podcast. Hello. Yes. Wow. I hope I live up to that. Kay Hutch, I did your podcast.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
Six months ago.
And it's just been a lot of women messaging me.
So thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
It makes me happy because it's like, I can't do anything with all this pussy.
But my fellow comedian male friends.
I mean, everybody.
Have at it, baby.
Everybody who does.
It's the same. I swear does your, it's the same.
I swear to God,
it's the same thing.
You should pay her a little pussy commission for hooking you up.
You know what?
Great point.
You're honest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everybody who does 10% of the post needs to go back to your management.
Every male comedian that does the guys,
we fuck podcasts is the same thing.
They do it.
They're like,
I had a great time.
It was amazing.
Everybody talks about how many followers they get.
I can attest that.
I mean,
new fans.
And that's the most powerful part. Yeah. They're always always like we got all these fans and it's just girls are dming me like their dms are fucking lit the fuck
up yep and it's just it was great i mean mine's simmered down now i mean i did it a long time ago
but for a while i mean you just feel like a million bucks every day you know you probably
cracked a few open and cleaned a few out as well. Yeah, baby.
You gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta do
in this world. I love
that they did the
podcast and it just blew up. I love
that we live in an era that they had an idea
and they made a
great podcast
and people responded to
it, you know? You should have
Giannis as a married kid now. Yeah, we would love to have you know no you should have yannis is a married kid now
did the podcast initially start was it guys that you actually had sex with yeah that's fucking what
an idea yeah and we still i mean i'm single now so and well corinne isn't i don't really know
what's going on with that but uh i don't think she is but i am she posts her butt a lot on instagram
she does yeah i think she has a boyfriend nice spot very nice great love it it's so funny you
both got great bodies thank you both hotties with bodies oh thank you wow wow guys um but yeah she
uh she surpassed a hundred thousand followers on instagram posted a picture like a really hot
picture of her in underwear and then people unfollowed her because she tells me every time
she posts a picture of her ass, people unfollow her.
Who unfollows her? I don't know.
Girls, I guess.
But who gives a shit? It's a nice ass. Look at the ass.
And then she went back down to 99.9.
And I was like, oh shit.
Is she at 100 now though? She's gotta be.
So what do you think? Girls get mad that she's
posting? I don't know, man. I don't know.
I love it. I follow a lot of like porn stars
on Instagram, cam chicks, and sometimes I'm like at a family event and I'm just I love it I follow a lot of like porn stars on Instagram cam chicks and sometimes
I'm like at a family event and I'm just
scrolling through and there's a picture of my friend Lena's
ass just like shaking I'm like
but
I hate when people get too like uppity about
Instagram they're like oh you know this person
is just posting like sexy pictures
of them it's like yeah why not they can do whatever they want
why not it's
it's their business so my I was telling I was was talking about before i had to get a new phone
and because there's like problems with my instagram i tried to log in so many times and now
and now my instagram you out it's locked me up but now i can't even get a password to keep saying
i have to contact instagram for support and instagram has no help right so now i'm like
now i can't post on instagram i i emailed them when it was down because I had the same thing, but I didn't know it was because it was down everywhere.
Right.
And they were like, sorry, this email address doesn't do anything now.
Yeah.
Same, same with me.
So now it's like I but but I'm bringing it up because like our business is so tied to it because now I feel like it's actually giving me like, I think, justifiable anxiety.
It's not like a millennial.
Oh, I need my phone.
I don't care about anything else.
But that business, it's my business.
Like, I can't do things and it could potentially cost me money and I need to figure it out.
So what we were just saying with Instagram, it's like, that's your business, man.
Whatever you want to fucking post, whatever.
You could sell out a weekend at a comedy club from Instagram, just Instagram.
That's what most people do do.
It's like if you don't have a lot, it's either about I don't know if the followers matter so much as the interactions.
Like if you see somebody's Instagram and they post a picture and it's getting thousands of likes and hundreds of comments or thousands of comments, that person sells tickets.
Oh, yeah.
Fans are so invested in them.
Yeah.
So and I can't tell, like when I self esteem slow's low, I'm just like, I want to put a picture
of my tits up there.
And then it does get better.
I'm like, is that wrong?
Yeah.
I text you immediately every time you do that.
I'm like, hey, what's up?
Good choice.
Yeah.
That's an interesting thing.
Yeah.
Is it?
When it was down, I was going insane.
Yeah.
But you feel better when you do it, right?
Absolutely.
So is it a bad thing?
No.
It sounds like a good thing I think
look I what
I try to do now
with Instagram you know
you want to adulate most women
I know women like compliments
that go out like they feel women love them
even I know that I'm cute
it's not like I'm like wow really
but it's just nice it makes you feel good it's nice to be
reminded but now if you're lazy now if you're feeling lazy, but you want that, you can just go and
boom, you get the same cat calls digitally.
Yeah.
And they're better digitally.
Yeah, they are.
Well, yeah.
I mean, it's just like, well, well, I think like it's well, I'm sure what women you have
to deal with, like unsolicited dick pics, I'm sure.
Because guys, I don't mind them.
No, I get a lot of pics of boners under jeans and I'm like
to she good job guys thank you
pictures from gay men I presume
of them taking pictures of
their ass in the back of their balls yeah he showed
me sending it to me it's pretty wild yeah
is there butchie spreads you see no no
I see if it hopefully uploaded
because my eye not
upload my iCloud hopefully transferred over
because I just i really hope
this butthole dealing with this fucking new phone i can't i can't believe how frustrating it is and
i can't believe this guy just sent this to you yeah then he said sorry that was aggressive i mean
yeah yeah what do you think of that yeah i mean you got it the guy is the guy took a risk he went
for it yeah he took he sent here oh wow he sent a picture to me
of his ass and the back of his balls with his hard cock uh leaning into his hamper and it said
if you ever decide to use pre-cum on a dude here you go then he said sorry if that was aggressive
lol i find you're really attractive oh at least he apologized then he i didn't respond again and
then he said i live in new jersey so if you even just want to jerk off together, I'm down.
Oh, my God.
What a good friend.
He sent that two hours later.
Nice kid.
And he saw that you saw it.
Right.
So, yeah, that's what I don't like.
I hate when they see that you saw the message.
You can't turn that off on Instagram, right?
No, you cannot.
That's annoying.
And that is annoying.
Instagram needs to get their shit together.
Well, because they are, they're the best social media platform, in my opinion.
Yeah.
They don't annoy me.
And then my parents aren't on it. You know what I mean? That's a good point. There's not grandparents on it. And if they are, They're the best social media platform, in my opinion. They don't annoy me. And then my parents aren't on it.
You know what I mean?
That's a good point.
It's not grandparents on it.
And if they are, they're cool.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
Well, you know, yeah, it used to be my space.
Then it was Facebook.
Then now Facebook's dead and Snapchat got hot.
But then Instagram took over Snapchat.
Instagram's like the king right now.
Yeah, it is.
Or queen.
Whichever way you want.
Oh, yeah.
That was nice.
Yeah.
2019. I want to make sure I get it right. Yeah, it is. Or queen. Whichever way you want to. Oh, yeah, that was nice. Yeah, 2019.
I want to make sure I get it right. Yeah. You better have
a big social media or a big podcast or nobody's
coming to see you. Nobody cares about the Tonight Show.
It's true. It's a great era.
It's like when I hear comedians
complain in this era, I'm like,
what do you want? You control
your own destiny. What more?
How would this be better?
You know, it's like if you're going to complain now, like, what do you want?
Yeah.
What's your there's no gatekeepers.
If you have an idea now, you can go try and execute it.
See what may not work.
But at least you have the opportunity to try to make the people that are making the most
money, like Christina, Andrew Schultz.
They're all self starters.
They didn't need any industry.
They didn't get on anybody's show.
They made their own shit.
That's right.
So it's perfect. Yeah. And it's been a hy made their own shit. That's right. So it's perfect.
Yeah.
And it's been that way.
History Hyenas is fucking next.
It's been that way for a while.
It's just culminating now.
You guys is on TV though.
That's why we're trying to get to TV.
Well, you know what it is?
We're trying.
Yeah.
With History Hyenas, I think, see, I think with our podcast is we have a, the fan base
is, it's getting a lot bigger, but it's relative.
It's certainly small compared to your guys''s getting a lot bigger, but it's relative. It's certainly small
compared to your guys' podcast and other big podcasts, but our fans are so dedicated. That's
awesome. Like that's what we're really excited about. Like when we're on our Patreon board,
like it's, it's what I said, like the comments, maybe the followers isn't that much, but it's
every day it's action. And like, that's, those are going to keep growing. So I think like,
if you can get fans from your podcast and keep them and they really like what you're doing you're good to go
yeah absolutely because like somebody could put out a podcast like a famous comedian just like
oh i'm just going to do a podcast now like there's certain people we know they just start a podcast
nobody cares they're not invested the fans like oh okay yeah you know like i don't know it's just
it's the way people consume content now and if you're not giving it to them every week, they'll just
go someplace else and start listening to something else.
That's very true. Were you and Corinne
friends before the podcast? Yeah, we were working
as a comedy duo three years before the podcast
happened. Wow. So we've been working together
for a while. We all have the same manager, Rick Dorfman.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Welcome to his life. Yeah.
I love Rick. Me
too. I love him. I love Rick. Hashtag me too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. There you life. Yeah. I love Rick. Me too. I love him.
I love Rick.
Hashtag me too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to it.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Cause you're in a, you're in a, you're in a, you're in a, I noticed when the guests
come in, you get in kind of a low tone, sexy, suave mood.
And it really pisses me off.
You, you're getting mad.
You need to put your hand down and put your armpit down you did it to
christina and you did it to sergio and i'm starting to get mad but no i just fell asleep during
sergio no i'm just yes sergio we had sergio chacon on the great sergio chacon that episode is
available up at patreon.com she talks about david patterson sergio chacon is one of the
well we said that yannis's eyes look like david patterson's eyes
it's funny because it's kind of true yannis has david patterson eyes yannis has got eyes that Well, we said that Giannis' eyes look like David Patterson's eyes.
It's funny because it's kind of true.
Giannis has David Patterson eyes.
Giannis has got eyes that look like they're in the opposite socket.
I look like I was born blind.
Yeah, Giannis looks like he was born blind. Your left foot was on your right ankle and your right foot was on your left ankle.
If I walked in like this, people would not.
They would assume like, yeah, I'm blind.
I thought when I first met you, I thought.
Before you were David Patterson.
You kind of look like that.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Sergio was talking a lot about snakes and cocaine and it was great.
And Che Guevara.
We were talking about Che Guevara, the great Cuban revolutionary.
So it was good.
Do you like history, Christina?
I do.
I do.
I don't delve into it as much.
I love, I love history.
I'm fascinated by it.
But I think I'm like the books i read are very they're philosophy oriented or
self-helpy but not like this kid just got a boner he's a greek look in the mirror and sell yourself
for pretty it's not that shit but just like the four agreements and well didn't you didn't you
what's what's your story didn't you grow up was your dad in the military my dad was a chief in
the navy yeah yeah he got drafted i remember when we were at um when we had breakfast together in
chicago oh yeah i did wild blueberry pancakes or something like that those are really those drafted. I remember when we were at when we had breakfast together in Chicago. Oh, yeah. Remember that? I did. That was cute. Wild blueberry
pancakes or something like that. Yeah, those were really
good pancakes. Yeah.
Yeah, and I took a video of you on my Instagram.
Yeah. And everyone was very excited about it. Yeah, and I
had a low-grade fever and a sore throat,
which I always do. You usually do, yeah.
You're always congested. I always do. I always have a low-grade
fever and a sore throat. Today I have a double ear infection. It's just
what it is. Oh my God, Grant. Yeah.
It's just what it is. Yeah, you got a bad immune system. You know what it is. Yeah it's just what it is yeah it's just what it is yeah you got a bad immune system you know what it is i know what it is it's because when i was a kid
well here's what happens kids get sick well yes when i was a kid like 12 years old i had mononucleosis
and that you know when you get mono it like sucks but it puts the epstein-barr virus
in your body it just lives on your spine for the rest of your life. And a lot of times, I never got sick in my 20s,
or very rarely did I ever get sick.
But when my daughter was born,
yeah, I just started to get like, I'm sick all the time.
Kids are germ factors.
Germ factors.
And the doctor was like, you know, also I bite my nails.
Like, I don't, you know, I'm an idiot, you know?
But it's like, I, it's, yeah yeah my sinuses are the worst and that's
what I'm always sick with the sinus I never get
the flu knock on wood it's always like
sinus pressure brushing
on the ears pressing on the throat so
it's like you always sound like I could get a sinus
surgery but you just you
also do I just have a low immune system
because you get strep throat every time you eat somebody
out I guess it right
but that's because I have big tonsils
and the bacteria gets trapped in the tonsils.
That's what the-
From the vagina?
Every time I go down on a girl.
Every time you go down on a girl.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter how clean or not clean you are.
I will get a sore throat.
It's just going to happen.
I will need to be on penicillin for three to five days.
Oh, before that you go down on a girl? After. I'm 100% going to get. I will need to be on penicillin for three to five days. Before you go down on girls? After.
I'm 100% going to get strep throat.
Wow. It's all the way strep?
Oh my God, Chris, that's so sad.
Well, strep or a viral
bacterial strep effect. You really want to eat that pussy.
I know. You shouldn't eat pussy, Chris.
And I could get my tonsils removed. I could do that.
But as an adult, to get a tonsillectomy is a big problem.
I don't know if it'll solve my problems.
I could get a nasal... Have you brought this up to a doctor that you eat a girl's pussy yeah absolutely and the doctor was like yeah that makes sense no the doctor said the doc two independent ear nose
and throat guys said that it's because of how big my tonsils are outstandingly big like it's it's
like every ent doctors are like whoa you, like they always have to look again.
So they are incredibly big.
Why don't you get them removed?
Well, because it's the surgery is the surgery is like first, like wouldn't be able to talk really for two, three weeks.
Getting a tonsillectomy as an adult is no good.
The recent research says that recent research says that tonsillectomies are no good and people are just as susceptible to everything now when a girl yells at you for not eating her pussy and you say all
that does she believe you usually not but yeah i wouldn't either actually but i have a girlfriend
or it's usually we have sex one max two times and the girl doesn't want to do it anymore
so it's usually like i fulfill yannis has said, like, I fulfill some kind of sexual need that they have.
And then it's over.
They're back to their regular schedule lives.
They don't really.
Yeah.
You don't get a lot of repeat customers.
No, it's just sex usually.
How honest am I allowed to be on this?
Go be completely honest.
Are we fucked?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now we're talking.
Absolutely.
Exclusive.
Yeah.
And you're right.
It is a one time thing.
Yeah.
It was just like it happened and then it just doesn't need to happen anymore.
But I was curious as to why you wouldn't fucking eat me out.
Yeah.
It's because I would have gotten a story.
You should have told me.
Yeah.
I wouldn't have believed you.
I would have made fun of you.
Yeah.
But at least I believe you now.
Yeah.
He's got a weak immune system.
Yeah.
Wow.
Now let's get into this.
This is interesting.
Go ahead.
Christina, open the door.
I didn't know. I didn't know. It's up to you. I don't know. The shit I say in this this is interesting go ahead christina open the door i didn't know
the shit i say in this podcast it's nuts yeah i mean this is the blue guy sometimes you forget
you're talking on a microphone and then yeah whatever you want to talk about see because
that i noticed that i noticed that like you know because girls love them yeah but they love them
like once and then like they don't answer his texts after that. They're done. And why is it?
What is it?
What is the one?
You can be completely honest.
Because is it?
Because what I think is like,
do I smell like,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no, no, about this for a year. Yeah, we're doing your episode. Yeah, but I didn't want to talk about it. I'm not going to talk about it without you there. You know what I mean?
We interviewed you.
That's so 2019 of you.
I'm the guy.
Yeah, I know,
but we had Chris on our podcast
and then we fucked after that.
But I'm not going to talk about it.
I just really want to keep
people's privacy private
unless they're there to,
you know, talk for themselves.
Right.
I get it.
So what I theorize is that
he has a look that
kind of brings out something primal in women
like the big head kind of. He's
masculine looking but he's also
funny and charismatic. Also kind of gay.
Also a little gay. But it's the look.
There's something primal in his look that really
is very masculine. Women
just want to bang. Like a hot caveman. Yeah, he's like a hot caveman
and women want to bang him out.
And then it's over. What do you have to say to that? We've just been talking about this for a hot caveman? Yeah, he's like a hot caveman and women want to bang him out. And then it's over.
What do you have to say to that? We've just been talking about this
for a year. Really? Well, let me finish it.
Not you, but like why
girls are one and done. I want to see if I'm right
too. Also, he has an energy about him where
you can tell that he's, I call
him Chrissy Greenlights, meaning there's
no hangups. Like he's gonna
go, he's gonna, when he goes,
when you guys start hooking up, he's not thinking like, is this okay? Or am I nervous? He's just hungry Like he's going to go. He's going to hit when he goes, when you guys start hooking up, he, he's not thinking like, is this okay?
Or am I nervous? He's just hungry and he's going to eat. Yeah.
He wants to do it. You're not your vagina though. Yeah.
Definitely not the pussy. He's aggressive. Um, I wouldn't say that. Oh,
okay. This is what I, this is what I observed.
And this is why I wanted to have sex with you. And this, I was, I was,
it was going to happen eventually. Um, because I wanted it to happen.
He's so like, you're very masculine and very manly, like a protector kind of thing, but
you're so adorable.
Like the gay thing.
You're saying like, you're kind of gay.
You're not gay, but like you, you wreak masculinity, but you're very, you're very funny.
Yeah.
Very funny.
And I, you know, it's nice for me anyway, when I'm always making the guy laugh that
I'm with and when the guy makes me laugh, I'm like, it's'm on a vacation yeah it's great um and you're very funny and charming very handsome
and I remember we were at when we were in Chicago we were I had to get chucks white chucks yes and
you were you were like you said something and I thought it was so funny like all right say like
we're a husband and wife right and and you uh and I wanted to wear these shoes what would you tell
me I'm like I tell you to go fuck yourself or something we're having like a really funny
conversation yeah and it was cute and in the back of my we tell me, I'm like, I tell you to go fuck yourself or something. We have like a really funny conversation.
Yeah.
And it was cute.
And in the back of my head, I was like, I'm going to have sex with him at some point.
Like, I think women just decide with you specifically, like they want to fuck you like a hundred percent.
And when a woman wants to fuck a guy, a lot of times, like it's going to happen.
Yeah.
Not in a rapey way, but in a.
Yeah.
But I remember we tried to hang out a couple of times after that and you
kept flaking.
Yeah.
And it was so much so that I'm like,
it was a turnoff.
It was a turnoff,
but I was curious.
Cause I wasn't like,
I didn't give a shit.
I wasn't mad or anything,
but I was like,
what are you doing?
So you were willing to have sex a second time then?
No.
Um,
wow.
She was done.
That's a,
that's a good soundbite for the podcast
that was like second time no so honest like um i wouldn't say that no no but this is great honest
no we could be honest like i adore you it happened already it's great right right right and he
doesn't care i mean he has a thick thick skin and we both don't which is great yeah yeah uh but i
don't know that it was like i when did we have sex was i even having sex with many people both don't which is great yeah yeah uh but i don't know that it was like i when did we have
sex was i even having sex with many people i don't think i was yeah it was it was all it was a good
i mean i think you were the second person i slept with right after this long relationship so i was
like new to the game yes i think yeah no it was it was a long time ago oh you were binging well i
kind of i was trying to there was actually another comedian that I was sleeping with
for a while. And then
that fizzled out. So he got repeat business.
He did. We had a crazy chemistry.
Him and I had a...
We couldn't keep our hands off each other. More than the sex.
Well, yeah, the sex was good, but
I also... The chemistry was
insane. I don't think we had that sexual chemistry,
but we have like a very flirty chemistry.
So it kept going. But so you don't have an answer then for what yannis
you don't know why well you there was some of these please no she's gonna say something good
yeah yeah you go oh god i'm thank you for allowing me to speak at this time please because i would
never say this uh on a podcast unless it was in front of you but you were like hey babe suck my dick babe I can't get hard with this you suck my
dick babe and it was like
yeah
that's not hot dude
that wasn't hot it was like
hey babe you were talking to a dog
but not in a condescending way I didn't felt like
I wasn't offended but I was like
can you not talk like that but I didn't want to say that
because how do you say that no you should have
just said it I didn't know how I didn't know how because i like i said you were the second
person i i'm pretty sure you're the second person i slept with and i've since slept with a lot more
people and i feel like i'm really good at advocating like if something's happening that i'm
that's a turn off for me or that i'm confused but i'll say i'm very comfortable but at first
it was just like oh wow i can't believe somebody else somebody else's dick is in me that's not Steven's.
That was like for the first couple of times.
Yeah, no, see, and I appreciate the honesty because it's like, yeah.
You should say I appreciate the honesty, babe.
I appreciate the honesty, babe.
But you really wanted me to suck your dick and you wouldn't eat me out.
And I'm like, don't be.
The reciprocation isn't there because I get strep throat.
Right.
So post-homoselectomy.
Not a lot of chicks are going to believe that
but I believe you
I know it's the truth
it actually is true I've gotten confirmation
that sucks
and it's not your fault
I mean I much rather
but you didn't even finger me
did you finger me I don't think you did
I probably had an infection in my nails
I probably had a rope cut
yeah
that's really funny yeah an infection in my nails. I probably had a rope and cut. Yeah.
Yeah.
Babe.
That's really funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'd much rather, you know, just be with like, say, like my kid's mom, just because it's like she's just like she gets she knows she's not going to get her.
You know, she just knows.
Wait, you mean sex?
You mean?
Yeah.
Well, it's just like she does. Not that she doesn't care, but she's just, you her you know she just knows wait you mean sex you mean yeah well it's
just like she doesn't not that she doesn't care but she's just you know she understands we have
a family and it's just like yeah she's she she knows all about she's like you know when you
eat me out i'm like a sore throat so it's like there's times it's like you just like i need this
to happen and i'll just get a sore i used to just get sore throats i mean it's my kid's mom i'm a
sweet kid yeah you know yeah you are a sweetheart and so oh so yeah there's times when i'm like
fuck and i was like you, pretty promiscuous.
But now it's like really slowed down because I just.
That sucks.
You know, like I'm sure you've got to the point where it's like you've had so much sex, like nothing's different.
It's all the same.
I look for chemistry.
That's why.
And I love I love having sex.
I'm very glad we had sex.
But it's like sometimes there's a lot of people that I've since had sex with that.
I'm like, OK, that was, you know, it's just it's not there.
Like sometimes I'll be really good in bed with somebody because they bring that out of me.
And like very, you know, people bring up different things and other people sexually, which I think is really fascinating.
That's why I like having sex with people, because it's like, oh, what's going to happen with this magical snowflake combination?
Right. But yeah. Yeah. It's chemistry. Like sex is never bad, but it's like, it's like, it's like chemistry takes it to a whole
nother level.
Without the chemistry, there's not going to be repeat business.
Right.
Right.
Right.
But you know, what's strange is sometimes you don't know the chemistry is there until
you're naked and his penis is in.
Yeah.
Or like sometimes, have you ever been with someone where it took a couple of times where
the first few were bad and then it got really good once you got comfortable?
Well, I think the first time having sex with anybody is always going to be the worst time
that you and that person have sex.
Yeah.
Right.
It's only going to get better.
So when the first time is great, you're like.
Also, also, I think with sex now, at least in 2019, I mean, putting on the condom is
like it's just stops the natural, like animalistic progression of things.
And I'm a very nervous person when it comes to that and do that
you know yeah it really breaks the flow
it breaks the flow but it's like it's just what it
is you know I know and I don't I mean
I don't like condoms either
but at the same time
usually the first couple times I sleep
with somebody condom condoms condoms and then
did I ask you do we have the conversation
of when it was your last tested
usually I have not but we use a condom.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's either that.
Yeah.
And then when I, I go off the condoms with that person, if I keep sleeping with them
for a while, but I first have to be like, when did you get tested?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
The condoms like, you know, you know, it's like training wheels and then you, once you
get comfortable, you take them off, you ride that bike.
Oh man.
Ride that bike all goddamn day and night.
You don't use condoms.
I never use condoms.
Nice. Well, cause to be honest, like using a cond condom is like you're not really having sex with a woman you're having sex with the condom yeah and the woman's having sex with the condom right you know
to remove it taking off that condom layer changes everything yes changes not only from how you feel
but like the spiritual connect the whole thing oh my god you're connected to each other's body
yeah yes yes yes yes yeah so that's interesting that's good feedback i appreciate that yeah no
because i i'm sure i did yes suck my dick i can't get it hard yet because yeah i'm just like a dead
inside kind of part yeah you're not dead inside but like i you know i but for the guys does it
go straight up or for men yeah it depends if we're talking about like something like an enlightened
conversation i'll get a full fucking rock hard for yeah yeah i'll get a full rock johnson so a conversation
yeah i get kind of horny i get i get like i get like like i'll have a great conversation with a
guy and then really gets me in the mood to fuck a woman i never would have sex with a man i'm not i
don't i'm not attracted to them so this is what but i am but i do get like that adrenaline up
like i get pumped up when like we have a really good conversation about something in history.
I understand.
And it gets gets those adrenaline's up.
I get really excited.
And you're like, man, there's so much in this life that we need to know.
I'm texting girls and I'm like, you know, you want to hang out, hang out.
But it's it's really I got the foreplay was a conversation with a man.
Do you ever get turned down by women?
I can't imagine you would.
Like for sex?
Yeah, yeah.
Or to make out, whatever.
I mean, just something sexual.
Rarely, rarely.
It's happened though.
And you know what I love about you, Chris?
I don't want to sound like a dick,
but usually not.
I wouldn't assume that.
And you're not a dick.
And you usually don't get turned down.
Like your ego is wonderful.
Like wherever it's at right now,
it's like not,
you're not an asshole. And I think it's almost like impossible for you to be an asshole he's not
insecure either sweet yeah you're very secure you're very sweet you're very masculine you got
all these great combos right right but yeah i get it but i but i get but you feel one time was enough
and then that's it yeah that seems to be a pattern too it seems to happen a lot that's why i thought
it was fascinating but i'm sure what christina said with the, you know, what I'm sure other girls echo that.
I expect it different.
I think that's what it is.
Have you ever seen Game of Thrones?
Sure.
Of course.
So the for I this guy that I'm seeing is got me into Game of Thrones.
And and is it James Mad Dog Matter?
No, no, no, no.
Because he works here, but he's not a comedian.
We were talking about Game of Thrones.
Hebert.
Jason Momoa's character oh sure that's what i thought you're gonna be like this dust rocky fucking yeah yeah like just like you're
gonna be a wolf but it wasn't that at all no you were teddy bear i was teddy bear but you have that
side i have a doughy body you know i just it was like what it's one of those i say on stage a lot
like i'm a letdown for women you know i don't don't go down on them. I'm not. It's not what they thought it was going to be.
Yeah.
You know, yet they still want to fuck you.
One time.
One time.
OK.
Yeah.
I mean, that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
A few come back, babe.
A few come back.
Yeah.
No, there's a few come back.
Yeah.
A few babes.
Well, I talk about on stage all my imperfections and sexually how it's not gonna be what you
want.
But you never know when a comic talks about that.
Still, after shows, girls would be like, you know, want to hang out but yeah no i um i i know how was i i'm curious great really
absolutely okay because i feel like i was uh yeah i forget you just say babe after you say great babe
great babe babe it was great babe yeah babe can you suck my dick babe yeah but that's but what i
like about like sexually is like it was just like two adults doing it. And then it was like, there's no like, what does this mean?
It's like, you know what it meant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a physical thing.
And because because I personally, you know, I feel like it's more my responsibility as the guy than the woman to do that, especially nowadays.
I like tell women directly or indirectly, like, you know, it's just about like sex.
Like I have.
I always wait for them to ask or something because they might know. Well, well no like a girl's like like say i've just met a girl right
and she's like oh like let's hang out you know i'll hang out and then you know i'll let them
know throughout the night like all these commitments i have i gotta go pick up my
daughter i got shows i got this i got that like i'm not available. Like, I'm just not available.
So if you want to have sex, knowing that I'm probably just going to want to have sex with you and then leave.
That's fine.
So you might be one and done.
Right.
But I tell.
But I'm also like, if you don't want to have sex, that's OK, too.
Right.
Like if a girl if a girl did turn me down, I'll tell you this for sure.
If I ever was denied sex, I would never be the guy that is like, fuck you and hit.
I would never do that.
I would just walk away. Yeah, because the
truth is I care, but I don't
care. And that's not it. Yeah, it's not
like, oh, fuck this. I value that
person. That girl is a human being. But it's like if
you don't have sex, like it's just OK. Yeah.
Go home and it's just no problem.
Like I'm attracted to very attracted women.
I want to have sex with girls, but if they don't want
to, guys are always available. I just
don't go one way or the other.
Yeah.
What'd you say?
You said, I would, but I said, if guys are available,
you will do that too.
100%.
Yeah.
There's always Grindr.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so I don't, yeah.
So yeah.
So maybe, maybe I give off a one and done energy.
That's very, very intuitive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I always suspected it was that.
What she said, when she said she thought she had this in her mind that you were going to
be like Jason Momoa because you have that look.
Yeah.
But that's what I say on stage.
I know that it's I know that.
But sometimes comics on stage will say one thing and it's not really what they are.
I mean, it's it's amazing after shows what people ask you is real.
Like, I would say, oh, yeah, 20, 30 percent of the time.
That's a good percentage of time.
People like you don't really have a Puerto Rican daughter.
Right.
It's like, why would I make that up?
You don't really have a kid.
Right.
It's like, oh, wow.
Stupid.
I actually don't make anything up that I talk about, which is sad.
Well, that's how crazy my life is.
I personally love the comedians that come from the truthful play.
I fucking love it.
Me too.
We can tell when it's when it's fake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, just audiences, they don't know anything about comedy. They just love it. Me too. We can tell when it's fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, just audiences,
they don't know anything about comedy
so they just assume it's all like an act.
Yeah.
That's what they know about comedy
is everyone has an act
and they're like,
you know,
you're just saying that on stage.
You're like,
no, actually,
I'm making jokes about my real life.
But it is nice,
I will say going back to that,
like two adults can just fuck
and then it's okay.
Yeah, it's like-
Like I wasn't like-
Two adults can fuck
and then talk about it on a podcast.
That's what it is. Yeah, but it's fine.
You did say you would call me. And then when you said that, I was like, no, you're not going to call me.
What the fuck? I'm like, why do you even say you don't have to say that to me?
I don't give a shit. Yeah. Well, but you could tell was ingrained in you.
Yeah, I could call you to call you more, babe.
You don't have to call me. But yeah, well, I just yeah, I was I do.
Because I just don't I want to make sure that you feel good and everything's good yeah that's like really important to me
she would prefer to have her pussy eaten but besides that it was banged out by a fucking
actual man yeah that's what she was hoping for yeah it said this fucking anxiety up and came over and thanked her out.
She would have gotten a pussy pound in her heart.
You're not wrong. I mean, that's an exaggeration.
That's a hyperbolic version of my thought. Come over and fucking take pictures.
Oh, Mateo Lane's so hot.
You're very hot, though. I appreciate it.
When you guys were done, did you just sit alone and go,
Oh, that's what it was.
Did you text anybody after?
I just took you going. You keep it to yourself. No, please be honest. I texted Corinne. alone and go oh oh that's what okay did you text anybody after like that was bad sex or
oh keep you keep it to yourself oh she um no please be honest i texted corinne yeah and you
were like this wasn't great yeah yeah but you know just because you text corinne i texted somebody
only because uh i think the the first guy that guy uh the person i like that matter dan who cares uh
i interviewed him on the podcast it was so electric
and I thought my vagina was broken because
my ex I was like oh I guess I don't want to have
sex anymore because with the end of the relationship
it was not romantic
at all actually just but just like
animalistic like Jason Momoa
fucking like he because he's so tall he would like pick me
up and I'm like what's happening this is great
condom no condom
condom and then no condom and then condom again
got it because he was seeing somebody and we were
we were very open about that conversation which is good but
but yeah but
just yeah I don't know you were like yeah
because I thought you were so
like I still am very attracted
to you it's very weird right but it's
kind of nice to like live in that and be like oh that's cool
he's a he's a you're he's a handsome
guy handsome very funny very sweet but like you have this dickishness of value that i love
like yeah yeah but towards yourself like your self-deprecating humor is really good no i yeah
i and i i would i would think that a lot of women have sent a text to their friend and be like that
was what i don't know what happened now how does that make you feel i just i you know don't give a
shit i'm being honest and but but i don't mean to sound crass when i say that
it just truly doesn't elicit any look it's not like that's sweet actually it's not like i don't
care about this one like for example a month ago i had sex with a girl and then she called me a
couple of days later and she was just like what does this mean like emotion and i was with my
was she in her 20s yeah and i was with my kid and i was just like oh you know like talking to my kid
and and and she i could tell like she, you know, like talking to my kid and
and and she I could tell like she wanted me to be like, give her my attention, all that. And I was
like, look, did you had you had a good time? Right. Yeah. And she was like, yeah. I was like,
well, you know, we don't I don't live in your state. I'm like, I got my kid like I have so
many things going on. Like, yeah, as long as you had a good time and like, please, like,
is everything cool? And she was like, yes. I was like, OK, then like that's what I can give you
right now. But like, I'm here if you need me whatever you want yeah yeah like whatever you need
yeah but i just it's no emotional connection i don't feel you have this you know what you know
what you have that women i think look for me even if they know it or not is like this oh he'll
protect me yeah any whatever's happening if he's with me he'll make sure yeah that i that i don't
whatever nothing happens to me which is what i have, even my kid's mom, who's like, you know,
who's knows me, knows me, even though like I can't fix anything.
And I'm like all these, all these letdowns, which she knows,
she even says that she's like, but I always feel protected by you.
And that is hard to come by. Yeah. That's why I think, yeah,
she's always just like, I don't know.
I just feel like you can protect me even though you can't fight.
Does success have anything to do with it?
That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Cause I know feel like you can protect me even though you can't fight. Does success have anything to do with it? Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Yeah.
Because I know you can't fight.
Yeah, yeah.
But I know you're protecting me.
She's like, but I know you just protect us somehow, so I keep you around.
If he wasn't as successful as he is, is it the same?
Is it just a physical thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a look.
Well, but if you weren't funny, it would be different.
Right.
Right?
I mean, anybody who does an art who's not good at it, that's the most pussy drying thing in the fucking planet right if you're just starting out of court but i'm not
gonna yeah why two women when i was a physical therapist like you know start giving me hand
jobs while i was massaging them in the exam room yeah like oh see if you massaging somebody's leg
that's that's not gonna not result in a wedding it's not like i tried to do it like they just
started putting their hands on my cock so i I guess. How'd you feel about that?
You were like, okay.
That was,
well, I was in my twenties.
It was a different time.
It was 2000, whatever.
Yeah.
10, 11.
So it was like, you know, but.
Did you like it?
Oh yeah, of course.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
But like the women were like,
you know, yeah.
Like, you know.
Yeah.
See, I went to a Planned Parenthood
to get, or no,
like the Chelsea Health Clinic.
And I had to,
cause one of the guys I was sleeping with thought he had an STI.
So I just went over.
Sure.
And I had to get a gynecological exam by this gorgeous man.
And I was aroused.
He did not need any lube.
And it was very uncomfortable for me.
I'm like, I hope this is OK.
But also I had to do I had to shoot a documentary.
So I was doing my makeup in the lobby.
And so it felt like I was trying to get pretty for this hot guy, but I wasn't.
But you're clean.
I was clean.
How fucking great is that?
I was so happy.
I know that you're clean.
I mean, guys who get massaged.
I got burned twice with chlamydia.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's what I thought it might be, but I wasn't having any symptoms.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, you're good.
Guys who give massages must get pussy.
When I'm horny, I'll ask for a male masseuse.
Well, I knew.
See, the thing is, you're basically foreplaying them, getting them ready. And I love massaging. must get pussy when i'm horny i'll ask for a male masseuse yeah well i knew i knew yeah well see the
thing is because you're basically foreplaying them getting them ready and then like and i love
both women did the same thing and i'm you know i'm not saying it's for me but i think it's just
a move that probably both these women have done before in their life or women do both of them
came in one came in with a shoulder injury one came in with tennis elbow uh you know elbow issue
and we treated them over the course of like three, four, five weeks.
It wasn't like initially.
Right.
But like whenever that time, fourth, fifth week, both of them separate, separate times in my life were like, you know what?
My my lower back's really hurting today.
It's really hurting.
Can we focus on that?
Oh, can we go into a private room?
Like all that, which I, you know, I don't know.
I'm like, OK, I'm treating whatever.
I'm like, you know, it's not the shoulder today, whatever.
It's not the elbow. Yeah, it's still that. But it's the lower back. And then both. It was the same. Now, I don't know. I'm like, OK, I'm treating whatever. I'm like, you know, it's not the shoulder today, whatever. It's not the elbow.
Yeah, it's still that.
But it's the lower back.
And then it was the same.
Now, you didn't suspect.
I well, that makes sense that you would have second time.
Yes, because it had happened the first for the first time.
No, it was naive to it.
I was a 25 year old kid just out of college.
I just got my license.
So I was massaging her lower back.
Yeah.
And she was, you know, lower, lower, lower. butt and then and then i started to be like what and then when she spread
her legs and was her underwear on yeah but like she was soaking wet like wow and then she just
once i felt that by accident not by accident but like yeah i felt it and i was like i i said her
name i was like babe did you say babe no her name her name wasn't her name wasn't this. I was like, babe,
babe, what's going on? I was like, babe, are you
all right, babe? You all right, babe? Babe, I was like, yo, suck
my dick, babe. Babe, suck my dick a little bit. I can't
get hard unless you suck it, babe. You had a
good time, right, babe? I don't live
in your state, babe. Did you say anything when he said
that when he said I can't get hard unless you suck
it, babe? I was like, oh,
I like sucking dicks. Yeah, you
don't or you do? I do. Oh, you do. Okay. I do. But I was like, I like sucking dicks. You don't or you do? I do.
But I was like, I didn't like the way you asked
it, but I know that you're not an unkind person.
You're not an asshole.
That's why I didn't say anything because I'm like, okay.
I didn't think you talked like you talked in the
shoe store like you talk like here, but that's okay.
That's fine. What do I know?
And yeah.
And I like sucking dicks.
It turns me on.
What would have been a nice way to say it? And you was like what would have been a nice way to say it and you came yeah oh absolutely yeah what would have been
a nice way to say it if he wanted his dick suck would you just let it happen organically let it
happen organically because i would have done it i love sucking dicks uh when i'm interested in
you know when i'm having sex with a person uh but uh yeah just suck my cock maybe yeah come a little stronger
put your tongue on my cock
can you suck my dick
and I can't get hard
babes can you suck my dick sounds like
I'm under the counter at a pizza place
and you're at the cash register
and you got a long line
you know
no it's true
it was not enough emotion in it
I need a little more manliness but it is but all those long line yeah you know yeah no it's true and and it was not enough emotion in it yeah yeah
i need a little more manliness yeah you are a manly person but it is but but all those um moves
by me and and it's all subconscious because i don't even remember it so it's it's like nothing
that i even you know what i mean i can tell what was knee-jerk and what was it because i figured
you slept with a lot of people and that's why i thought it would be like really good sex because
i'm like oh the more no most women do and a guy has fucked i i assume that that means that they're really good at sex at this point yeah but it's
also up to the person having sex with you know you want to leave your partner better than when
you first met him so you give feedback but then it's like sometimes feedback yeah isn't a necessary
thing i've had i i would say the best sex that i've had that's been you know reciprocated and it's been like the best sex has really been with my kid's mom has been the best just because I just feel like.
Comfortable.
She knows you.
Yeah.
And there's just yeah, there's no problem.
Like this is I'm not going to get in trouble.
I'm having sex with the person that I should be having sex with.
You know, I still to this day, even though we haven't been together for two years, just feel like I'm going to get in trouble.
Yeah.
You know.
So so it's just like a post-traumatic thing so like with her it's just like you can really relax
just whatever yeah yeah so that makes sense yeah but you know it's what it is i diseases scared me
yeah i remember i remember joe list was telling me about his herpes we were in the car it was like me
him nate somebody else and it was right around the time he got herpes and he was telling everybody about it.
And he was telling us about the pain he went through with his G, like when he had an outbreak.
And I was like, you know what?
You'd rather not.
Yeah.
I got in a relationship after that.
And I was like, I'm just going to, I don't want to ever risk.
I just got paranoid.
I was like, I don't want to risk that.
Was he single when he got it?
He was single when he got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
I know a few people who have it.
But people really, I few people who have it it but people really i know people who have it and then they'll ask me advice uh for like that
conversation because they're scared to tell the person i'm like well if you you have to tell you
have to have that conversation where he fucks up you have to and they the the people i know
have it they're like i know but that was like the most quote-unquote humiliating part but i'm like
if i went go to sleep with somebody and they say, when was the last time you were
tested?
I have this.
I have herpes, but I haven't.
I don't have an outbreak.
Use kind of blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, you're more on top of your sexual health than somebody who just fucked me and
didn't ask a question.
I wasn't even scared about getting it.
I was scared about the pain.
Giving it?
Yeah, that too.
But the pain.
He was telling me about the pain.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He couldn't.
He couldn't walk if it touched his jeans.
Oh, that sucks.
He also didn't treat it for three weeks.
Yeah.
He left it untreated.
Oh, and it gets worse.
Because of the antibiotics?
I don't think he had the money at the time to do it.
Yeah, but also the first outbreak is always the worst.
So what he went through that first time.
I heard you can get like a fever and shit.
Oh, you do.
You get a fever.
It attacks your body.
No, you can't.
It's like having, you know when you have like a canker sore. You do. You get a fever. It attacks your body. You know when you have a canker sore?
The pain from a canker sore?
There's a whole bunch of them.
They're open and oozing.
If it touches your underwear,
it's like ripping. It's like an open wound
that's being touched by clothing.
He can't even walk. He would have to
sit like this.
Write your best personal herpes stories on the community
board. Patreon.com slash playrichboys.
We had Joe on here and he
told us all about this.
We've never interviewed somebody on Guys
Who Fuck that to talk about it in depth.
Joe would be great. People are so hesitant
to talk about it, but I'm like, first of all, statistically
most people have it.
Either you have it active
or it's dormant. Exactly. Some people have it and then know one out of five you have it active or it's dormant yeah yeah
exactly some people have it and then it'll never show up oh yeah people my friends in emergency
room doctor he said he can't it's it's every single day or used to be whenever he's working
a different thing now but it used to be every day people get blood work come back and they say you
know just to let you know you have herpes and they're like what i've never had a symptom i've
been married for 10 years like no no you don't have active herpes but it's in your blood right so
something to be aware of yeah you know
yeah so just the pain he was talking
oh poor guy I was like I don't want to go through
that all this herpes talk is makes
me want to talk about Hedy Lamarr
does she have herpes I don't know
who is Hedy Lamarr
sorry just as you guys
know when we have guests on we normally know a lot
about the person that
our guest is talking about this is one of those
unique situations and we're really excited about it
Giannis and I really don't know anything about Hedy Lamarr
but Miss Christina Hutchison does
yes I did I watched a documentary
thank you on Netflix
it's called Bombshell I believe
Hedy Lamarr was an on screen
actress and she was described as
one of the most beautiful women in film in the 30s and 40s.
She was a piece. She was she was she was actually the model for Snow White, the animated Disney Snow White back in the date, which is about date rape.
Cancel Snow White. Hashtag cancel Snow White.
Yeah. So and so she was very beautiful and she was treated as this gorgeous
woman, but she was also very smart. But her intelligence was really interesting because
she was kind of like she would get a lot of plastic surgery as one of the many things that
she helped, one of the many industries she kind of helped move forward. And the surgeon would put
this like would do the operation in front of the ears. And there was a point in the documentary
where she a doctor was saying that she was like, can't you put the scar for a facelift behind my
ear so that no one sees it and all the doctors were like you know what we're gonna do that from
now on so like she innovated these fields by kind of using logic but she also developed um with this
man who's a composer uh i believe it was one of her husbands or guys she was she had like six or seven she had like seven husbands yeah um they developed the technology um that for world war
ii she patented the technology where if uh an american submarine wanted to send a missile
to uh the enemy um they could detect that the missile was coming on the radio so heady lamar
and this uh composer guy george um but created this patent to basically
have the frequencies on the radio station constantly jumping like jumping from one channel
to the other so you couldn't intercept a missile heady lamar helped create that and patented it
she didn't receive a fucking penny from it and because of fucking patriarchy yeah probably and
also because people just looked at her as this beautiful actress woman that got it they were it was the documentary is kind of a bummer because she got all this
plastic surgery up until the day she died because she was just trying to maintain this image as
everybody saw her she was so beautiful to begin with she was beautiful and but no one saw her
her brain her brain and so but that technology for the world war ii for those missiles is the
same technology we use for Wi-Fi.
How wild is that? Wow. So every Wi-Fi frequency
does that. It jumps from channel to channel so you can't
intercept it. I mean, some people can if they're like
that. So that's some Hedy Lamarr fucking invention.
See? She was like this genius
woman. She was
performed. Did you see a picture? She was a fucking piece.
Yeah. Go pull up a picture of Hedy Lamarr's act
and post it on the Patreon. She also was
believed in... Oh, absolute piece. In terms of non... patron. She also was the, I was believed in.
Oh,
absolutely.
In terms of non,
I can't get hard unless you suck my dick,
babe.
She would probably,
and just invent something in your living room instead.
Yeah.
But yeah,
she,
she had the first onscreen female orgasm in a film.
Wow.
Yeah.
But her husband at the time who she,
she fled her husband because he basically pledged his allegiance to Hitler at the rise of Hitler.
What's wrong with that?
Yeah, it's kind of fucked up, you know, and then she lived in Ridgewood, Queens.
Yeah, a little judgmental.
Austria.
They were she was born in Austria.
And she there was a story about she had her husband had this maid guard her room so she couldn't come out.
So she left her husband and escaped to go to london to become
a film actress by drugging this maid that would watch her like she somehow snuck a sleeping pill
into this maid's tea sewed all of her expensive jewelry into a maid outfit and like left the house
in the middle of the night and flew to london like this chick is a brilliant thinker i was i think
they didn't they do that's i think cat woman did that in one of the batman movies right she was one of the inspirations for cat woman oh shit so yeah so she um yeah so she was a model she was a model
for disney snow white amused to mel brooks and inspired uh dc comics cat woman wow oh so that's
crazy that i didn't i had no idea about that she's one of the most recognizable faces of all time
because she's gonna say i look at her face i'm like i've seen that before because it's fucking wild. I look at her face. I'm like, I've seen that before because it's the cartoons. Yeah. And
Catwoman.
Where's she from? What state?
From Austria. She was born in Austria and then she
moved to the States. Okay.
Okay. So right here, what we're seeing a
picture of her in what must be the 1940s
or early 50s. That's not plastic surgery
yet. That's correct. That's just her.
She's stunningly gorgeous. Yes. Without
any work. but then pieces
of shit. Howard Hughes,
who's a big guy,
it's this one of the facts on her. Lamar states that the
legendary inventor and business mogul Howard Hughes
relied on her. Hughes gave her a set
of tools to continue inventing with
while she was on the trailer on set
and while she was filming movies. In return,
she helped him with his aeroplane research.
She purchased books on the anatomy of birds and fish
to design a more efficient wing shape
that would reduce the drag in an airplane.
Austrians and Germans are just smart kids.
I know they do bad things, but they're smart kids.
Can we admit that, Giannis?
Hitler wanted to preserve the race for a reason, I guess.
I'm a Jew.
And he's Greek, and his mother grew up in Nazi-occupied Greece,
so he hates Germans.
And unfortunately, I got, you know, I hate Nazis.
You look like Hitler's dream.
80% German, babe.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, babe.
Yeah.
80% not stout.
Maybe that's why I don't get second dates because I'm a Nazi.
What are you doing?
That's a sound clip.
She was self-taught, too.
Yes.
She was completely self-taught.
No, I just believe certain people, doesn't matter race, religion, creed, or whatever,
there's just certain individuals who were born with just bigger brains.
Oh, absolutely.
Like, you can't, like, Einstein, Tesla, Elon Musk, these people have bigger brains.
Just bigger brains, man.
Gandhi, bigger brain.
Yeah, there's just people, you look back in history, it's across color lines.
Even if it's not smart, like, you can't tell me when you put, let's say, Martin Luther King's brain next to my.
He's got a different brain.
His brain is just emitting more things to like push goals forward.
Exactly.
Like people that are movers and shakers like that, their brains are capable of seeing the end result.
And they just know these are the steps I have to get there.
And they don't get overwhelmed along the way.
No, they do.
They don't want to get.
You know what?
I think they know how to do fucking great.
I think it's like a talent of every entrepreneur and every single person who's wildly successful.
Their ability to compartmentalize what they need and to focus on one thing and push that one thing very far.
Everybody who's successful, maybe they're successful at 10 things, but not never did they dedicate energy to all 10.
It's one. And then and then they go to the next one.
Lemon. Corinne used to work at a management Lehman Entertainment.
She always told me the story about how Lin-Manuel Miranda took five years off to write Hamilton.
He wouldn't go on because he she was she helped manage him.
He wouldn't go on any auditions. He wouldn't do any movie roles.
He wouldn't do any projects. Five years. He was making almost no money.
Yeah, exactly. He got married and I believe he had a kid during that
time. He did very small things here and there
for money, but he's like
I'm taking this time to write five fucking years.
I would have felt like a failure if I hadn't cranked down Hamilton
in a year. 100%. Me too. So it's like, wow.
I always have that story in mind of like, wow,
he really took the time to do it right.
To do it fucking right. Yeah, but some people's brains, they
just like, they get it quick.
And they don't beat themselves up. But it's just
like they're born that way. Yeah. Like you look
at Mozart to be able to do that
when he was like seven or something. I mean, yeah.
Well, that's like a savant though.
Yeah, you're just born with
a brain that just gets it quick. Yep.
Like even Einstein, like you can't, he was born
that way. Yeah. It was inevitable
that not everyone has the potential
to be that. It's just you're born. Well, your friend, what's his
name? Chris Canick.
Canick is just 16 years old.
He disproved the Harvard professor's
What? Yeah, it's like he builds like
nanorobot technology now. It's just we could never
do that. Even if we took five
years off, we just can't do it. Yeah, no amount
of beating myself up is going to get me to that point.
It's the same thing as like an athlete, you know, it's
like or a guy who throws 95 miles an hour. They can just do that It's the same thing as an athlete. Or a guy who throws 95
miles an hour. They can just do that.
They just can do it. You can get a guy who's
jacked, who works out. Which I kind of love.
I love that it's natural. That's why I'm so in awe
of it. It's crazy. Some people, though, they work
on it. They have to like
performers and shit. But the top level guys,
they're born with it. Yes. I 100% agree.
You can't be a pitcher in the major leagues
if you're not born
with something that's almost like superhuman yeah like actors and actresses like there's
exception daniel day lewis can conform he's a chameleon but like a lot of people it's just like
so-and-so is just famous because they knew the right person because they fucked harvey weinstein
no let's be honest at some point and they're fucking hot yeah not harvey weinstein that was
a joke but i'm saying like you did something guys or girls did. It's nepotism who you know and whatever.
Oh, yeah.
But athletes, it's like you can't.
LeBron James, there's no, there's no, that wasn't an accident.
There's no practice schedule for that.
That wasn't an accident.
LeBron is LeBron.
It's subjective.
Well, her life afterwards was a little wild.
She got arrested.
But Hedy Lamarr, though, look, she's so beautiful where it looks like she's like, of course,
that woman's going to be famous.
How could you not be famous and look like that?
Yeah, and she knew. Yeah, I mean, Brad
Pitt is just like, you gotta consider, he was
that's kind of a talent being that fucking
hot. Yeah. I mean, he's hot.
He's hot. Yeah. It's actually
fucking, I get strep throat for him.
It's actually unbelievable
looking at Hedy Lamarr.
It's giving me the chills because I'm seeing Snow White
in that other two pictures you showed up. Like, that face is what I've seen my whole childhood.
Yeah, that face. She was one of the most popular actresses on the planet at one time.
Wow. So what happened to her now?
So what happened? What happened afterwards?
It got sad. She she the patent that they put in for this technology that ended up being used for Wi-Fi and shit.
It never it got lost in the government patent office.
And then they eventually found it.
Yeah.
And it's like, no one wanted to look at everybody.
You know how you put everybody in a box
because that's what you're comfortable with.
The most extreme examples.
It's why I think people still to this day
can't handle LGBTQ people.
They just, because they're,
and why people are prejudiced.
I feel like you just, you don't fit this idea.
You don't fit this idea of how I see the world
and how the world is. So I think that she got put into
this box of you are a beautiful woman.
It confuses me and doesn't make sense
that you're also inventing Wi-Fi and
restructuring the wings on an airplane.
Just be you.
Be in that box. And people, I think, pushed
so hard for her to be in that box that she was like, well,
fuck this. The end of the documentary was real
sad what's the documentary I believe it's called
bombshell okay
check this out what she said this is a direct
quote from her like it's
funny we're talking about this she says
inventions are easy for me to do
I don't have to work on ideas
they come naturally
you're just born that way her brain is different
yeah brain just different.
Like you see it like, like there's Scott, I've, I've watched like that, that show brain
games.
You ever seen that show brain games?
They're like, they play like these like brain games.
Like, you know, you're watching the screen and it does this or that.
And the, but sometimes they'll, or, you know, they do all these experiments, but sometimes
they'll just interview like geniuses or like peoples who has brains, different brains.
Yeah. And they like, there was this one guy has brains different brains yeah and they like there
was this one guy he said he just see like how you're looking at the wall and you see blue and
red and colors and all that he sees that too but he also sees grids and he sees numbers wow everywhere
wow he just sees it and he's like this famous mathematician wow but it's like i could have and
i was like what does he mean he's like he just sees like he'll
just see grids everywhere that's what his brain does so it's like that's better brains and there's
also like a lot of times uh kids with autism are so fucking smart oh yeah of course there was this
one story about this boy who like took a helicopter ride over new york city and then by memory he's
had this photographic memory sketched in detail with like
a pencil, the entire New York city, the bottom of Manhattan. And it was one of the most incredible
sketches. He was like fucking, he was a teenager or something. I used to be, I was a pediatric
physical therapist and, um, it was a kid by the time I got there, he was, he had already been
discovered what he was doing. And, and he, uh, but he was just like a eight, nine year old kid nine year old kid and you know everybody knew it but they had told me the story is um you know he
had autism and non-verbal so just you know he could you know he could write little things but
you know could barely even hold a pen and you know needed everything you know needed help going to
the bathroom and everything um but he would sometimes uh he would be he would just write
number do you give him a piece of paper and he would play with it and fold it up and this and
that and then he'd you know write a number you know 87 and then you know and then that went on
for whether like it's just random numbers until like uh occupational therapists at the school
was like what are these numbers like what is what's going on in his brain what yeah it's always
a different number something yeah what he would do in a matter of 10 seconds fold up the paper to like he would fold it up and then
do whatever doing and then look at it scan it and be able to count every crease in the paper and
just write the number it was always right always wow isn't that fucking nuts that's like a computer
brain yeah well that's what it that was that's what these that's what these children yeah are they whatever whatever the savant you know a savant is an actual thing right well and you know
i know i'm so fascinated with uh because the the stigma with autism like but people don't realize
like a lot of people with autism are just smarter than any of us are ever capable of being and i
know what the emotional connections like it comes sometimes for some people be difficult to form
an emotional connection or it's like they have less noise in their head coming from like the emotional part because i i
let that stop me with every goal almost and they just like see the finish line so clearly well
that's why there's like a big debate but you know what that's an integral part of being a comedian
though i think yeah you know that's why those are the thoughts that i the emotion into the microphone
yeah all that shit is what makes us so flawed and funny.
True.
There's a lot of our peers and some very famous comedians, you know, who you'll see at the comedy cellar.
And there's a couple of examples of people that I looked at.
You know, I don't know them very well, but they're sitting down at the comedy cellar table.
And the way they're avoiding eye contact and looking down, I'm like, those appear.
They appear to me exactly like the children i used to treat who had autism so it's like you can't tell me that at least there's a spect some
some of these the reason why they are so great is because their brains are more powerful because
they're on i guarantee you they well we are no i mean so many comedians have asperger's i mean
that's yeah yeah you can just tell the social social awkwardness that they have it's like it's
obvious and that's only that asperger's absolutely that's only, Asperger's is a form of autism, right?
Absolutely. I mean, Asperger's,
there's more of a social aspect
to it, but as far as their brainwaves and all that,
it's on the spectrum of disorders with autism.
Comedians are just like, yeah,
we notice more than normal people.
That's why being social
is hard because certain people can just have
a normal conversation, but we're going like,
you know, looking at the way someone's moving
trying to dig
we're paying attention to like 10 things at the same time
we're kind of inappropriate
it's kind of like someone would be like why are you
fucking just like stop looking
at me like that
the questions I ask people are too much
there was another kid
we're always investigating
sneaky little paranoid parasites.
He could he could take any year.
So you would say 1945, 19, 1945, 2010, any year like that.
And it had to always be four digits for whatever the reason his brain work.
And then he could multiply.
He could tell you the.
So if you said 1945, 1946, he'd spit out the answer of that multiplied immediately.
Like not even like it would just be like whatever the number. Yeah. Yeah. out the answer of that multiplied immediately like not even like it would
just be like whatever the number
whatever the answer is and anything as long
as it was for if you said 818
times 817 he doesn't know
oh okay as before numbers it's but it's
but it's crazy that his mind works like that in that box
yeah she was like
one of these she's fascinating
this is a good one thanks yeah
great episode like Jack Johnson she's kind of like born in the wrong era because this is a good one. Thanks. Yeah. It's a great episode. Like Jack Johnson, she's kind of like born in the wrong
era. Because this is a time like women
like you were the pretty and like, you know,
she has this great quote that I love.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have
to do is stand still and look
stupid. Yeah. Wow. She was
one of the most beautiful women on Earth.
Make no mistake. If this was me
last year, not on CBD oil,
still going to church, I would have heard
that quote and got a tattoo to my body immediately.
I'm a kid that loves to have, I have quotes tattooed on my fucking body.
She did a lot for the world and completely overlooked because she came, she was living
at a time when it was like, you're a dame, see?
Yeah.
We're going to put you in the movies.
Yeah.
And she was like, okay, but in my free time, I'm going to invent wifi and Bluetooth.
She did it in her free fucking time.
Yeah.
It wasn't even her profession.
This is just a question.
I may not be right at all.
Cause I may not even be thinking it through,
but I wonder if there was prejudice involved.
Cause she was like,
Austro gives a shit.
The future's female.
Yeah.
I mean,
this is a,
this is a,
I want to go learn more about her. Well, that's the point of this fucking
podcast. Yeah, women, I don't
I'm not going to try to say women are smarter than men,
but I feel like women, like the way women
think a lot of times, like women who are like brilliant,
that's just, you know, human beings
who are brilliant are in one category, but like
I feel like she just
would walk in a room and go, oh yeah,
the aerodynamics of your shelf are fucked up. You should
like switch those and you're like, and she's right.
Yeah. And it's like, whoa, but she just didn't.
She wasn't afraid to voice that. Right.
Right. I feel like in that time, a lot of women
were like, I just gotta shut up and look pretty.
Let's be honest. It's rare because the universe
is balanced. It's rare that someone's that smart
and that hot. True. You're
absolutely right. Because even if someone is that smart,
if they're that hot, they never like look into it.
Or if they are, I'm like, something's something's up something's wrong looking at that pic Jan
looking at that pic I'm being dead serious
knowing her mind knowing who
she is yeah you're married you
just got recently married two weeks ago
you're beautiful you're in love if I
put a dick on her would you leave your wife for it
yeah yeah
transvestites
no not transvestites. Oh, really? No, not
transvestites. Transgender. I apologize.
Yeah, I just, if you look like
a hot woman, I'm attracted to you. Yeah.
I don't care about what's going on. Oh, but do you
like it more when the woman,
has a penis? No.
Not more. Oh, okay, because you said penis
as if that was going to rope him in even more. We're just joking.
It's a joke. I'm saying if because he
loves transgender porn so much, so I was wondering if you'd be willing
to leave his wife if she had a penis
she kind of reminds me of actually a little
bit Bailey J like her face a little
bit I think Bailey J is so hot
transgender
what is porn star
looks a little bit like Hedy Lamarr
if someone told me that she was
born a guy I mean it's like
okay that's different but it's like, OK, that's different.
But it's like I'm still attracted.
She's a I'm attracted to the femininity and cleaned out.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just what it is.
I mean, we're just doing as a dick.
She's still going to get cracked.
She's going to get cracked open and cleaned up because she's hot.
She's hot.
And that is feminine.
I'm a she has no fumes because she's Austrian.
Yeah.
You said that.
Yeah.
But that's not really what it is.
I told you what it is. It's
showerhead. So you got to just give that up because
you're a
German and when I told you that, you were
like, it's true and you're stuck to it.
But the truth is you guys in the Northern
Hemisphere just have removable showerheads and you
clean your ass better. And that's why Scandinavians
have cleaner asses.
We like to go back in history and talk
about if these characters had fumes or no fumes
in their private parts.
Oh.
But also fumes, no fumes doesn't necessarily always mean genital stuff.
Like a thing can have fumes or no fumes.
Like you could be like, you know what?
The whole state of Indiana has got fumes because you didn't like your experience.
Yeah.
Not Indiana, but like anything.
You don't like Donald Trump.
You like Donald Trump.
Donald Trump has fumes.
Oh, got it.
Got it.
You know, the pizza at that place sucked.
Pizza has fumes.
And initially, because I used to go to Scandinavia a lot,
and I hooked up a bunch of Scandinavian girls,
none of them had fumes.
Wow.
Fumes means like smelly genitalia.
Yeah, stinkless pussy.
And it's true.
Was there a scent at all?
Inviting scent.
Yeah.
It's like butterscotch.
He explains about this inviting, you know, twins.
It's like oil.
It's beautiful.
It's like, yeah. It's actually tasty this inviting, you know, twins. It's like oil. It's beautiful. It's like, yeah.
It's actually tasty.
But, you know, there's nothing magical.
There's nothing inherent in it.
What it is is in Scandinavia, they have removable shower heads.
That's all it is.
I installed a removable shower head.
I mean, when you have a removable shower head.
Christina's very clean.
Of course she's good because you can bring the party straight to the tragedy.
You can clean it out.
That's what I call my pussy, the tragedy.
You can put out the fire.
Yeah, you can put out the fire because it's hard to reach that area when the showerhead's here.
And that's all it comes down to.
He sticks his finger in his ass and washes his ass.
And then after the shower, he puts witch hazel in his ass.
Yeah.
You totally made that first part up.
I thought you said you put your finger in your ass with the washcloth and clean it out.
You just rub your asshole on the outside of your own ass.
We should clean your ass. That's good because I feel like straight
guys don't clean their ass enough. I clean my ass with witch hazel.
Wow. Does that smell? Witch hazel?
It has a little kick to it, but it's worth it
to have a 100% clean ass.
My dermatologist told me really the
only parts of your body that you need to
wash every day is your
asshole. Well, no, he said armpits, genitals
and ass. and your mouth because
you're a dirty boy dirty boy yeah everything else is you don't need to watch you can wash it but
like there's no reason to wash the outside of your arms even the bottom of your feet he said
your back your hair even he said you can go two months without washing your hair it's no problem
well it gets greasy yeah but you're right health-wise it's not gonna like and actually he
said for your skin and for your overall health people are
well no he said every other day is the best
practice for showering
oh that's what I usually do
you don't shower every day? No
I mean if I got sweaty I do a quick body shower of course
but like there's some days where I'm just writing all day and then I don't shower
I want to ask your opinion on fumes
because guys have fumes too right?
you've hooked up with some guys who've had fumes
I did not though
you work very clean shaven almost too clean yeah because
he says he says like because i have you know because we went through ancestry.com and found
that i'm 80 german that now i don't have fumes because he doesn't believe that northern european
no i just said that has nothing to do with it but i said it's removable but you did say that i have
no fumes you trim down your hair i think a lot of fumes get caught in the hair a lot of fumes get
caught in no hair yeah so that's why because like if you if anyone was a bush is gonna have fumes. You trim down your hair. I think a lot of fumes get caught in the hair. A lot of fumes get caught in the hair. But he had no hair. Yeah, so that's why.
If anyone was a bush, he's going to
have fumes, I think. We're just saying
with his theory, even though he's saying
I know he's saying the removal, showerhead, but
because he's from Greece and closer
to the equator, he'd be more likely to have fumes
than I would. An Irish girl just doesn't
have fumes. But you're holding on to this
racial aspect of it. I'm seeing
an Irish guy and he has no fumes. He smells great. Smells great. So you have dealt with fumes yeah but you're holding on to this racial aspect i'm hooking up i'm seeing an irish guy and he has no fear he smells great smells great so you have dealt with with with fumes so
uh yeah yeah um let's see you don't have to talk about it no um i'm curious i like to know about
yeah yeah something like uh yeah this one guy was hooking up with uh he um yeah he his balls
sometimes smelled bad does that deter you do you Sweaty balls. Do you just expect, my question,
the reason why I bring it up is like as a woman,
do you just expect a man
to not be,
not smell great?
Well, no,
because I like the smell of a dick.
I wouldn't even say it has a smell,
but like balls have a smell, right?
I've never been deterred
by anybody's fumes ever
in my sexual career.
Wow, interesting.
Wow.
Because they were never bad.
She swims through.
She swims through.
Well, yeah.
You can call it Swinthy.
Swinthy sewage. And, well you know i like sucking dicks i think it's a very fun thing for me to do
but i've never had somebody smell bad um i mean i always make sure i'm in tip-top before i have sex
i have you have to shower yeah because i want to not even for the other person just so i could be
at ease and go well whatever happens here it's not me. So that's nice.
But I'm a little backdraft.
It's him.
Not you.
But even like a very smart pubic hair situations like the, you know, I don't really care.
I say I care, but I've been, I've seen it all and I didn't care.
So, and I've never had fumes deter me.
I've never had fumes that made me go.
Nope.
And also once a guy's pants down, what are you going to say?
Like, got to go.
Yeah.
Never, nevermind.
It's always uncomfortable. You smell. i don't want to say that yeah it's the smell even if there is
a smell you you're okay with it you yeah there's never through it there's never been yeah but i've
never had to fight through it because there's never been a smell that was bad yeah because
because us being men we talk about this sometimes we're obviously extremely supportive of them but
we we think about like how gay men have sex with all the fumes because like
right we know how hard shows our bodies are women are different you take care of yourself but like
gay man sex i think gay men uh then this might be this is a stereotype but i think they are cleaner
than straight men yeah right they just yeah mattel is fucking squeaky clean oh my god i would tim
dylan's a fucking gotta be a nightmare. Maybe because of his, like when he takes pictures of himself in that cat,
I'm like,
Oh,
your balls probably smell.
But I'm like,
I don't know.
Maybe not.
All right.
Yeah.
That was a good convo.
Hedy Lamarr fumes.
Do you have anything else you want?
Fumes,
Hedy Lamarr.
Um,
you guys fucking,
I mean this,
I never thought we'd ever have that conversation.
Yeah.
I mean,
it turned into i mean it turned
it turned to a good up we got a nice sound bite yeah i like that it came up naturally too and i
was like wow which is what should have happened if i would have if i wanted head i shouldn't have
asked for it and i'll never be able to get that out of my head when that you say come on babe can
you suck my dick i can't get hard unless you suck my dick babe yeah yeah so it's interesting it's
almost you should have walked you up to a hill in poughkeepsie and put you down you know what you know why you know why i will say getting that
out of your vernacular might yeah um benefit you with repeat customers i appreciate it and i'll be
conscious of it and i'll make adjustments yana so he says i just you tell me a problem i just
yeah totally um i think why yana's are so fascinated by it though is because you know
for so long he's it's just been the second. It's just been my account.
He's never met a woman.
It's like it's like it's not compared.
It's just like a thing like that new Ted Bundy documentary that came out, the Bundy tapes.
The most fascinating one was the woman who escaped the woman who didn't get murdered.
I think that's why he was like, you've been on the inside.
All these things that you would never say.
I didn't know the interview.
They don't text me back.
But this is big for you.
Yeah.
Well, a case closed. Mystery solved. I mean, a big part of Oh, I didn't know they interviewed him. They don't text me back. Oh, I gotta watch that. This is big for Giannis. Yeah, well, case closed, mystery solved. I mean,
a big part of it is all for him. I can't
get hard unless you suck my dick, babe, is
Yeah, that might be another t-shirt. It's
a classic. It might be another t-shirt. That could be
a t-shirt. It might be a t-shirt for $100
members. And I should get that for free, but yes.
You will get it. We're gonna get a cut.
Well, you're getting a percentage of the pussy.
Yeah.
Oh, God god that's funny
yeah
any gay man that sends me
the back of his dick and balls
I'll text you
oh please
yeah or
hard dicks under jeans
love that
did he whisper to you
he said it full volume
what
I can only get hard
if you suck my dick babe
no he said full volume
full volume yeah
yeah you need to be
fucking shot
you need to be shot
you need to be put down
everyone who's listening
to this right now knows that you need to be walked up to need to be put down. Everyone who's listening to this right now knows that
you need to be walked up to a hill and put down for
the betterment of society. You're too
wild. You make no sense.
You are a good looking kid that looks like the
fucking kid from Game of Thrones. You take your shirt off, you're
a jiggly fucking kid. Cuz, let's
be honest, the sooner you put me down,
the sooner more people can get antibiotics
because I take them all.
Have a good night.
Peace. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.