History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 74 - Interns Are WILD!
Episode Date: June 9, 2019The Hyenas are back in the studio. This episode they interview their new intern Venetia! She's here to help with the organization because the Hyenas just too WILD! Want more Hyena content? Check out w...ww.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas.
Bad. Hello, everybody out there.
Listen, I know you can hear me loud and clear right now.
And that's a nice, refreshing change from last week where we were just we were having a mandate on Chrissy's car couch.
It's what it is.
But it was a good episode.
Welcome to the History Hyenas.
Welcome to the History Hyenas.
I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chrissy in the Closet.
With me as always, Giannis.
Phillips head Pappas.
Phillips head Pappas.
I just want to start off this podcast by saying for the first time in about six months.
Yeah.
I actually want to be here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's because you got a nice stern talking to from about 10 listeners.
Yeah.
There was just had enough.
They had enough of me.
And there was a kid named Jason.
He's an Eastern Hemi from Canada.
So he was he said he's a he's one of the only white walking Eastern Hemis you'll ever find.
That's what he said.
And he told me that he's had enough of me saying I don't want to be there.
He said it makes me feel bad about myself.
That's what he said.
And he's a true fan who 100% went in the bathroom and may have reignited Sergio's cocaine habit.
It's just what it is.
Es lo que es.
Es lo que es.
Sergio smoked weed and may have done coke with this kid, Jason.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Hopefully his wife's not listening to this.
Yeah.
Well, Jason. It's what it is. Yeah, hopefully his wife's not listening to this. Yeah, well, yeah.
Sergio also was about to put
$1,000 down on
Andy Ruiz, and
he would have won about $18,000, but his wife
talked him out of it, and make no mistake, Sergio was a
depressed kid on that flight home. Yeah, but it's a good
thing he didn't, because you know, Sergio,
any money won would have went to
Blizzy. Blizzy. People were
just yelling Blizzy at him at the American Comedy Company in San Diego.
Yeah.
So listen, you also got a nice stern talking to you from my wife via group chat, which
made me uncomfortable.
She said, Chris, stop saying you don't want to be here.
And then she made an emoji face with the emoji covered in their face with their hands.
OK, yes.
So I just want to say publicly to our fans, sorry that I've been saying that I have a
lot of career stuff going on and I've also had
some problems with the mother. Let's be honest, it's not
really the career stuff. It's the situation with
the mother. I've had a situation with the mother.
But the situation with the mother has been
resolved for a couple months.
No, it's permanently resolved.
You killed her? Wei Zhongxin?
I didn't kill her. No, it's okay.
Can I get a Wei Zhongxin, please?
Wei Zhongxin. Oh, you got the button? I'm loading it up. No, it's okay. Can I get a Wei Zhang Jin, please? Wei Zhang Jin.
I'm loading it up.
The situation with the mother.
Let me just say, when I walked in, Zach said,
you wouldn't believe how many buttons I have ready to go.
And now he just gave us a verbal
Wei Zhang Jin. I had so
many, now I'm fucked up.
So, the situation with the mother
has been resolved. I've accepted
the fact that
we're a co-parenting unit.
Yeah.
She's got another guy now and it's just all accepted.
But I was dealing with that.
I thought I was just over it.
But the truth of the situation is I wasn't.
That's why I was just banging toots because it was just a large hole that was gaping.
But now it's closed up.
Now I'm sealed up.
Now I got my butt sealed up and I'm ready for some guys.
Let's spin the wheel.
Yeah. Listen, I've had a little I've had this something about you. Now I'm sealed up. Now I got my butt sealed up and I'm ready for some guys. Let's spin the wheel. Yeah.
Listen, I've had a little I've had this something about you.
I've had enough of.
What's that?
I've really had enough of one thing.
And let me explain to you what it is.
OK.
You dressing every day, all day like you're a fucking professional boxer.
If I see you wear that spin F8 shirt for another day consecutively.
Yeah.
I'm going to take you outside and do a few things to you physically or I'm going to attempt to because I'm not going to be able to because you can throw hands now.
Yeah, I'll just fucking rip.
I'll rip off your other bicep.
Yeah, because I'm a Greek and I'm going to shoot for the body.
It's what it is.
I'm going to grab a hold of that button, take you into and push you into the trash.
Speaking of Greek kids, we've got another one here.
We've got another Greek in.
What's your name?
Venetia Malcolopis?
No, it's Venetia.
Venetia.
Now, if we were ever to get married, would you change your name to Vivian for me?
Listen, whoa.
Vivian DiStefano?
No, no, no.
I would keep my last name.
Yeah.
I have to keep my last name Gerasimopolis.
Yeah.
Gerasimopolis.
That's Greek.
Yeah.
That's Greek.
Gerasimopolis is a nice last name.
It is.
And it's the perfect way to start what i want to
talk about just so you can be cc about something yeah whatever greek girls are around on this
planet okay they let me how do i put this their parents would rather them start doing crystal
meth in parking lots applebee's throughout amer throughout America than be seen in your presence.
So if I came home, if she brought me
home one day and I said, hi, Mr. Joplin.
It's never going to happen.
See her nodding? She's going, yeah.
I'm your daughter's new boyfriend. I have a baby with a
Puerto Rican girl who has a 200 tit.
He would honor kill her?
Yeah, he would honor kill her and then
you would be killed, yeah.
But he would take it out on her because it's just what it is.
The daughter's got a raw deal.
If you're Greek, you got a raw deal.
Yeah.
You just you have to marry Greek.
Do you have a brother who's out there banging everybody?
I have two brothers.
Two brothers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, that's how it goes.
Yeah.
But in my family, I'm very much so encouraged just to date Greek guys.
Yes.
And that's I have to bring him home.
I can't date anybody else.
It's like when you go boxing, you think that you're, you know,
your dad knows you're at boxing and like, he's like,
he asked you about his Sergio, good guy and all that.
But the truth is he's installed a camera in that boxing gym.
Oh, yeah.
They asked me like, who did you see today?
What's going on?
Are you dating anybody?
Okay.
Are they Greek?
Yeah.
Or usually it's all about going to those like Greek events over here,
which I usually, I don't do that.
But that's like huge in the Greek American community.
It's crazy actually here.
If you're dating in the Greek American community, it's going well.
And within six months they're probably married.
But like in Greece, like they'll date for like a few years.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Now you, you went to hunt, you went to Hunter college here and you're from New York.
You went to Hunter college and a lot of people go, Oh, she must've wanted to go to Hunter.
No, it was probably because your dad said, you know what?
You're going to go to college and then come home at night.
Yeah.
She was like, I want to go to Arizona.
He's like, that's fine.
As long as you fly home every night.
Yeah.
So it's what it is.
It's what it is.
If you're a Greek daughter, you just got to live into the house till you're 45 now venetia is she's joined the podcast to help us
with a lot of the organization stuff and she's to really just help this podcast because listen
we know where the history hyenas and we know you guys like when we act like hyenas but it's getting
a little wild it's getting a little out of hand you went off the fucking rails and we just needed
a woman to get in here and clean this shit up yeah it's what we needed and yanni found a nice
greek woman um because it's just what it is and i think here and clean this shit up yeah it's what we needed and Yanni found a nice Greek woman
because it's just what it is and I think she found us
oh she found us and she's a perfect fit
because she knows Sergio
she knows Sergio she throws hands with Sergio at Overthrow
gym shout out Overthrow for
I gave you
shout out Overthrow for
allowing me to film
the Comedy Central Mountain Dew
big highly budgeted commercial.
I'll give you guys a lot of publicity and not giving me any free t-shirts.
Shout out, Overthrow, for that.
You're still making me pay full price for your fucking $75 t-shirts, even though I fucking gifted you guys about $30K on the arm.
Yeah, give him a few fucking free shirts, because make no mistake, he's going to wear them every day.
I'm just going to wear them every day.
I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt right now, and it's 80 80 degrees because I'm ready to go full muzzy and look
like a boxer. Because you've been wearing that shirt
or an overthrow boxing shirt
for the last month every day. Well, the truth is
I got three of these Spin FH shirts
and I got two t-shirts. And a situation
with the mother. And a situation with the mother.
And the mother actually works at Spin FH
so it's a real big situation.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
Because if your life was Ghostbusters, you would cross the streams all the time with the mother.
With the mother.
Yeah.
Because in many ways, it's just what I like to do.
There has to just be a little bit of chaos on the horizon or the kid's not comfy wumpy.
Yeah.
Comfy wumpy, huh?
Yeah.
Because I feel like you wake up and you just do this with the wheel and you
spin it i spin it cuz make no mistake sergio as my witness san diego the wheel was a spin it yeah
i spun that fucking wheel down on broadway in the gas lamp district where and kind of anything goes
gas lamp district san diego anything goes yeah i may have walked into a ladyboy show I may have, you know, had a couple
Toots in the hotel room, I may have done crack
I don't know, the wheel was spun
Anything goes
When you started to say San Diego
Often I just get scared that you're going to stop
Mid-word, because it starts with a sand
Thank God you finished it with
Iago
Just like the other episode when you said Jap
You said Jap, but you kept going and said
Anise, which I was thankful for. Speaking
of Sandy,
go to patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys. We have brand new segments up
there called Ladder 14. We met two
firefighters that we started a podcast
with, Patty
Melrooney and Sean Terry. We talked
about it last week a little bit. We teach a little bit, but
you know, there's two guys
who started a podcast called Ladder 14.
These two guys. Who's your daughter?
Your mother and your daughter? What are their names?
Patrick Mel Rooney. He just
uploaded his first episode
the other day and his daughter
Colleen Jr. was in. I got my wife's Colleen
Sr. My daughter's Colleen Jr. Yeah, he's got
a kid. His name's Colleen Jr. So it's
the mother's Colleen and the daughter's Colleen Jrr that's ladder 14 only on patreon.com slash bay ridge
boys because make no mistake listen to me fucking loud and clear right now cc let me be cc right now
okay we number one we have zach isis has got a laptop on the way so tattoo fingers won't have
to take the train eight stops just to upload a fucking podcast yeah mike mush is mike mush um is breathing focus breathing heavy he hasn't been
able to pay his rent so he's fucking he needs that hundred bucks yeah now we've brought in venetia
a greek goddess who's got a father that will honor killer if she brings anybody home that looks like
me who's fucking watching this podcast like a hawk she's watching this podcast like her father's
watching her when she walks outside.
Yeah.
So nothing's going to get by her.
No.
Nothing.
There will be nothing.
This podcast is going to get so organized and so on point that you're just going to
have to sit back.
Give us your money because we're screwed in kids and everything that we say we're going
to do on this podcast will be given to you.
So go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys for all the fun stuff and just really just
be a part of this fucking podcast as we skyrocket.
Because make no mistake, we're taking this thing to the next level.
We're going to get to 25,000 Patreon members and we're going to buy a condo in Israel.
We'll screw that.
Yeah.
That was a good one, Zach.
Yeah, Zach, we just need you on this because you're talented with the buttons.
Yeah, because make no mistake, Zach, is there a way we could put on a life fan?
Because I wore a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants and it's 90 degrees in here.
Here's the situation.
Isn't it funny? Once we brought her
in today, these guys really straightened up, huh?
Yeah. Yeah. They're like, yeah, you know, like we gotta
listen. Mike's got his headphones on. He's not even
fucking listening to this. These guys are really
getting screwed in. They're trying to get screwed in
but at the end of the day, we are produced by
Franks and Beans. Yeah. And we need, we just
need a woman to help us out.
No, seriously.
Like, look at my apartment.
Yeah.
It's a beautiful apartment.
It's got a lot of negative.
You got new, and you have some new stools.
I got some new stools.
Yeah.
But it needs a woman's touch.
I mean, without a woman in your life, it just falls into chaos.
You got a nice place.
You got a lot of nice things, but Britney does a lot of it.
So we need Venetian here to kind of be our comedy wife.
Yeah. She's the inaugural
first lady hyena. She is.
She can also fucking throw hands.
It's over, Jen. You're out.
You're the number two Greek.
Even though you wrote on my Instagram
snack, I posted a picture
and she wrote snack and I said, don't
fucking do that, Bagakis. You'll get cracked
open and cleaned out. and you can smoke a cigarette
in the hallway and lie about your age
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah no it's good
if there's one button you need to have it's the
way
it's good to have
it's good to have Venetia here
Venetia
Venetia here. Venetia? It's Venetia.
Venetia. Is that Greek?
It means Venice in Greek.
Venetia. Can we just call you V?
Yeah, you can. No, I like Venetia.
You can't remember Venetia?
A lot of my friends joke
they call me Venetia because of the way it's spelled.
Right. Venetia.
It's good to have Venetia in here.
She may not be on the mic all the time,
but she wants to be,
she can be,
of course she could come whenever she wants,
but no,
she's going to be,
she's,
she's going to do,
are you,
do you,
are you planning on coming to the studio every week?
Are you going to do these things from the comfort of your own home?
What are we thinking?
You know,
it is summertime.
So like,
let's talk and whatnot,
but I'm down to come in and like,
see how you guys are record,
you know,
get some content.
And I like it when she's here. Cause it keeps these guys in their toes. And even me, like, you know, get some content. And I like it when she's here.
Cause it keeps these guys in their toes.
And even me,
like,
you know,
like how we always start out like bad.
I'm already breathing heavy.
And I'm already saying like,
I don't,
I can't be on the podcast anymore.
I have to only 12 minutes in,
but the energy is it's come around a woman.
And yeah,
for you,
it's like,
it's nice.
It's like,
um,
how would I say this?
Let's say if we had like a bear in here,
right.
Yeah.
And you wanted the bear to do certain things like tricks,
you would hold up a treat for the bear. Yeah. So she's like a treat that you could never get because her father will
kill you well that's interesting because she's a very beautiful girl but the crack open clean
out butt in my head is just off because it's saying that's not you can't it's like a family
you can't do it you don't understand yeah like it just will never happen but i'm saying it's not
like it's having that reverse trick which is like oh i want to do it more it's like it's it's it's i see the beauty but it's just like exactly
it's like just yeah it's like if you were a bear and i was holding up a salmon then the then the
bear you know we just got it because you're a kid who's got a yeah your attention spans all over
the place so we got her in here and it's just a piece of salmon to keep chrissy on you know
chrissy's here omega-3s yeah i got a chance again cracked open and cleaned up by mike emoji face
and make his face look like that And make his face look like that. Yeah, make his face look like that.
Yeah, so, you know, because around
women you get a little peppier because it's
Because it's, yeah. It's a meal.
It's a meal. Yeah, it's a meal.
But make no mistake, I'm not hungry because I got
my carrots and my hummus. Yeah, because I love
how you're obsessed with health now and you're
a really healthy kid. You're looking slim
but the only danger of that, like I said outside,
is if you don't do chest, if you
don't do any bench press, you're going to look like a lollipop
because you got a big fucking head.
But I sent you that pic of me. I look like I'm starting
to get a little bicep, no? Because you're a cute
fucking kid. When you said that, my dick went
pewing. I laughed out loud. Did it look cute?
Did it look like a dick? I told you, I went pewing.
Yeah. So the kid's trying to get...
I may post that pic if we get to
a thousand Patreon members. I'll post that pic. If we got to a thousand patron members,
I'll post that pic.
I tell you what,
I posted this video on the Instagram where I was,
I was singing,
counting crows in the car.
And a lot of people complimented my bicep.
Yeah.
A lot of people were saying,
Yanni,
we didn't know your arm was that jacked.
And I said,
listen,
make no mistake.
Chris,
he's a kid that can throw hands.
I'm a biter.
Yeah.
I'll get ahold of you and I'll bite.
Yeah.
You'll bite.
Yeah.
Or I'll kick you from the stage.
Yeah. Here's the big, finally, the. Or I'll kick you from the stage. Yeah.
Here's the big.
Finally, the fucking sound effects are uploaded halfway through the podcast.
Yeah.
You guys were sitting in here for an hour and a half.
Zach goes, I got to upload them after we started the podcast.
Just a reminder, Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys for a lot of 14 podcasts.
It's a real treat.
Yeah.
You go to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
Listen, we've lost.
Let's just be CC with people. Yeah. We've lost a few tunes. Yeah. You go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys. Listen, we've lost. Let's just be CC with people.
Yeah.
We've lost a few tunes.
A few non-tunes.
We're losing blood at this point.
Yeah.
We're starting to get.
Yeah.
It's kind of like what happened was.
Here's let me let me let me just put it into terms in the way that I can understand it.
And you guys can understand it.
It's kind of like when Hitler decided.
Why does it have to be a Hitler exam?
Because if you come in here to the winter in a full uniform, I'm checking in myself.
It's just what it is.
Because I got an appointment at Hugo Boss tomorrow to get a suit for Colin Quinn's wedding.
Because make no mistake, I like a little Hugo Boss.
You know why.
Is his wedding going to be in Park Slope?
No, it's actually in Brooklyn now. I can't? No, it's actually, it is in Brooklyn now.
I can't say publicly where it is, but it is in Brooklyn.
Is it at the Grand Canyon Diner?
Because it's been there probably since he was a child.
Grand Canyon Diner.
Shout out.
They got a nice sandwich, the Grand Canyon sandwich, which is avocado, eggs, and Chipotle mayo on a biscuit.
He's from fucking Park Slope.
He's from Park Slope, kid.
Right and left, fucking stupid, fucking shit.
What happened was, is when Hitler decided to invade Russia, he got a little crazy
and then he lost the war and he lost his arm.
He got a little ambitious. And that's what's happened with us.
We got a little ambitious and we started saying,
you know what? You guys are fans of our show.
I'm sorry for the printer noise
in the background.
It's just, it's a history hyena.
Mike Emoji's got a paper due at a community
college he's taken. Emoji, yeah,ji's got a paper due To community college he's taken
Emoji yeah he's I don't know what he's printing out
Fucking flyers for Bobby Kelly probably
Yeah so
So we got a little ambitious and we
Stopped giving
The fans you guys who have
Made this podcast what it is we stopped
Giving you what you want and most importantly what you
Deserve but make no mistake
The Nazi army has been defeated
and we were defeated and I just had to
wake up one day
look myself in the mirror
kill Ava Braun aka the situation of my mother
and just
say you're not Adolf Hitler anymore
now you got demoted
you're going to hide yourself and you're going to go to Argentina
you're going to start a new life and you're going to live to your 80s and 90s
the furthest lives on.
Um,
that example just went way off the rails.
I'm just kidding with everything.
But the point is that I'm trying to say is that I'm not a Nazi,
but I like the uniforms.
And we're going to give you guys what you deserve on patreon.com slash
very rich voice.
We fucking promise.
And if you're new to this podcast,
keep listening. And if you
invest in it, if you like what you're hearing,
let's do a couple episodes and then go to patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys because we're truly
going to give you guys what you deserve now over there.
So thank you for your service. You guys have been
our foundation. We've gotten to this point and now we're
going to kick it up a notch. We got carrot
sticks here. Yeah. All right.
We got we got an intern.
We got Mike. Mike got Mike Emoji.
Everyone's getting in shape right now.
Everyone's getting in shape. Yeah. We got a culturally
diverse podcast and we have a woman. It's very
2019. I fucking love it. Did you like
our Battle of Crete episode because you're Cretan?
I did. I actually really
like the, I was just listening to the episode
of the divorce one where you were just
like responding to your
fans and stuff. I was laughing a lot at that,
but yeah,
the history of Crete,
that was a really good episode.
Yeah.
Which side,
which side of your family's from Crete?
Um,
my grandmother,
my father's mom is from Crete.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's from Hanya all the way up in the North of Crete.
It's gorgeous over there.
I love it.
Love it.
Have you been to Hanya?
I've been to Crete a few times.
Yeah.
He doesn't speak Greek. That's the problem. I know. I was just speaking Greek to him. Like the Mecatal of it. Have you been to Rania? I've been to Crete a few times, yeah. He doesn't speak Greek.
That's the problem. I know, I was just speaking Greek to him.
Like, he didn't understand me.
I'm a little
stupid.
I can teach you guys some Greek, you know.
That would be very nice. I want to learn
it. I want to figure out a way to learn it.
It's very hard. I was just there for four years
and I still, but I was working in
English environments, but like still, it's a really difficult language.
Just like the conjugations themselves.
Mad.
How did you find us?
Our podcast?
Um,
actually through Sergio.
Yeah.
Oh wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sergio,
I came to visit and then he was like telling me,
he's like,
Oh,
you're Greek.
Oh,
I have like my friend Yanni Pappas.
And then I like started seeing your Instagram and seeing you promote this.
And you know,
when I was away, I just felt like I was still in New York.
I just tuned into you guys.
And I was just awesome.
It was cool.
I felt like I was home.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Well, you know, my prediction is she's going to be a big help.
We love you.
And how long do you think it's going to take before she also asks for money?
Yeah.
Well, she if she she probably fucking deserves it.
Yeah, she'll deserve it.
Yeah.
You know what?
We're just going to have to take less of a profit for a little while so we can get this
thing fucking.
We're just going to have to pay everyone.
We're paying these Franks and beans now, right?
Yeah.
We're just gonna have to pay everyone in this room a hundred bucks and just not make any
money.
It's just what it is.
We're just going to have to give about 300 a week away.
Yeah.
And just fucking deal with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we're doing good anyway.
Yeah, we're doing well.
So it's it's OK.
So today. Yeah. Well, we have shirts good. Anyway. Yeah, we're doing well, so it's okay. So today,
yeah. Well, we got shirts now.
We do have shirts now, and where can we get those, Mike?
On the volley. On the volley.com?
Okay, and the link to that is where? Do we have our own site there yet?
I posted it, I think, right?
We put it on Patreon also.
We'll put it on the screen for everyone to see.
Yeah, and go to our YouTube,
youtube.com slash history hyenas, right? Bayridge Boys, yeah. We got all that going on. We'll put everything on the screen for everyone to see yeah and go to our YouTube youtube.com slash history hyenas right
Bay Ridge boys yeah we got all that
going on we'll put everything on the screen for that
you have teespring t-shirts
stickers
cups things like that a lot of stuff you can get
all coming Mike made that thank you to you Mike
so much Mike yes Mike you're a talented
kid you can do a lot of things I can do a lot
of things pretty good yeah yeah we just got to
wrestle you away from Bobby. Yeah.
Yeah. It's just what it is.
Because you know what, Bobby? What happens
is you guys have a lot more fun here
because we don't yell at you. Yeah. Ever.
Yeah. Yeah. We're just. Yeah.
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Yeah, it's also good with a situation with the mother, so you can rub it on that.
Yeah, we do that.
We're comfortable around you.
Yeah, I'm not on camera, but I'm answering your question.
Yeah.
So onthevolley.com is where they need to go.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
Do they perhaps slash History Hyenas or anything like that?
Let me get back to you on that.
Okay, get back to us on that.
I'm going to take a picture of that food and just send it to Bobby just because I want to start some shit.
Well, no, it's not Bobby. It's Nuchm. And I mean in Hummus.
So he's probably okay with that because I mean in Hummus.
Yeah, but let's be honest. You're German.
He'll let you get away with it. It's just what the
revelation I've had is, and I've
said this again, but it's just, you know, it's just
the thing is
I'm done with the cocks.
I'm just done with it. Yeah.
I'm 6'1", 220. I throw hands and now I throw hands fast and I throw them hard. Yeah. So I'm just with the cocks. I'm just done with it. Yeah. You know, I'm six, one, two 20.
I throw hands and now I throw hands fast and I throw them hard.
Yeah.
So I'm just not going to let anybody tell me if,
if they're,
if they're within reason and they're doing the right thing.
I'm a kid.
If I make a mistake,
100%,
I will,
I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.
I have no problem admitting wrong,
but there's a lot of people now that just want to attack.
They just want to attack.
They just want to attack white guys.
And the thing is, I'm sorry.
I'm fucking six one.
And I look a little Aryan and I could throw hands.
I'm sorry that offends you.
But guess what?
If you get in my fucking way, I'm going to hit you with a left hook and knock your ass out like fucking Andy Ruiz knocked on Anthony Joshua.
It's just what it is.
I've kind of had enough.
The cookie has crumbled
into a kid that throws fucking hands. Because Anthony Joshua got beat up by a kid that looks
like he just got back from an all inclusive and can't go. Yeah. I mean, that kid, Sergio,
he called it. Yeah. By the way, real quick, the fact that you and I don't have any of our own
merchandise is a problem. I mean, we're so dumb. We are so unorganized and
idiot. The fact that we even still have a podcast going that's doing relatively well is it's just a
credit to I don't know what it Jesus. It's Jesus because and I think it's Lynn. I got to say,
I think your mother put a prayer in for us and I think she's searching for the podcast. I think
it's just a matter of time before she stumbles on one of our episodes. Yeah, because I downloaded a podcast.
You gave her Stitcher and I don't know why you did that.
I gave her Stitcher and I told her only listen to my podcast on Comedy Central, Stand Up with Chris DiStefano, because I don't it's just very corporate.
It's just me reading sponsors and fucking yelling and just, you know, being like white people suck and then playing clips from a bar now.
Do you talk like that in this?
Like, hey, what's up?
Yeah, I'm like, hey, yeah, awesome.
Hey, what's up, guys?
It's Chris DiStefano hi we're gonna do another clip from eugene merman uh circa 1994 funniest guy ever
and then yeah we so i have to do stuff like that just very you know just like whatever i'm just
you have to be beta and that's okay um but so i can't learn to listen to this because i have
publicly said i got blows from my cousin so and uh yeah it's just i've missed these so much zach
yeah where have they been i put them on this app that every now and then just like bugs out and
deletes it and then i have to re-find them all right yeah we got an episode on our youtube
uh with jim gaffigan up that's going that's Oh, go to our YouTube. We're starting to put up
we put them up a little later,
but you will get to good. You'll get to see the whole
episode. Now, let me ask you
a question. This weekend, did you spin the wheel
a little bit? What'd you do this weekend?
This weekend, let me see. Cracked open, cleaned out my wife.
She's getting cracked open. Now, is she
getting cracked open for procreation? Has that
not happened yet? No, no. Oh, well,
you know, yeah. Whenever, you know, it's not yet. It's up to her it's not it's up to her yeah it's up to her she's ready she's ready
yeah but she's getting clean i just don't know what i'm gonna yell that for saying on the podcast
yeah well she's got family members that listen she listens unfortunately now too i don't know
what i'm gonna get yelled at by your wife from exactly either so i'm she hit you early in the
morning i'm also in the fucking i'm also in the danger zone with your wife. Yeah, you are. I couldn't believe
that. It was like 8.22
a.m. She must have just been walking to the
train listening to it. Yeah. And she just
it just made her furious and she just texted Chris
stop saying you don't want to be there. Yeah. And I was like
I'm sorry, Mrs. Pappas.
Yeah.
Yeah. No, we
were looking for houses this week. I went to Westchester.
Wow, you went out to Westchester.
I went out to Westchester to see like if maybe we could put someone could put me there.
Wow.
I was trying to look at these houses to see if there was any barbecues going on because
I was just going to sneak in there and just pretend like I was invited.
Now, the only issue you're going to have is if you move to Westchester, because we've
already spoken about publicly how you're most likely move Hebert into your apartment in
Westchester.
But he did. But he also did tell us if he doesn't have a permanent warm-up job by the time he's 50.
No, no, no, Chris. No, Chris. No, Chris. Chris, no. Chris, no.
Hebert.
Say it. I'll cackle it out.
No, no, no.
Yeah, I mean, Chris, come on. I mean, Jesus Christ.
Hebert.
Let me just explain to the people. The problem is going to happen. You're on the floor. Hey, Bert. Let me just explain to the people.
You're on the floor.
Oh, no.
Hey, Bert.
Yeah, it's a little high up is what you're saying.
Yeah, so you just have a problem.
You may have a situation with the mother.
With the Hey, Bert.
Here's the deal.
Like when we name this podcast.
Hey, Bert.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We can't do it.
That's the last one. We've reached our own
Hey, Bert time limit.
You know what's funny?
What have we been doing this in a year now?
We've been doing it about
56 weeks.
I mean, Icey's got a
whole bunch of tricks up his sleeve right now.
I don't know what that one was, but I like it.
We brought in
Venetia.
We've got to just remember We brought in Venetia. We're going to call her Lady V.
Because we got to just remember the name.
Venetia.
He called me V-Dog before.
V-Dog, I like that.
V is for Vendetta.
V is for Vendetta, good movie.
Or V is for Peace.
V is for your Peace.
I can't say it, he's got to say it.
V is for your Peace that I'm not going he's got to say it. Yeah. Yeah. No. V is
for your peace that I'm not going to even attempt to crack
open and clean out. Yeah. You know, all our
lingo too. So he couldn't like if he said something
you'd be like, I know exactly what you're saying. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's great. My
dad probably wouldn't understand, but like
he would figure it out and then he'd be dead.
Yeah. Throw hands with you. Yeah.
He'd be my fucking ass probably.
Yeah. He definitely would. And I have also two brothers. So yeah, like a whole army coming at you. He'd beat my fucking ass probably. And I have also two brothers.
So like a whole army
coming at you. Are they older brothers too?
I'm the middle child. So yeah, you're an older.
Do they throw hands, the brothers? Or are they like
up west side kids? One does.
The other one, he's
they're both very athletic.
Could you take, could they take? The two of them
could take him. The thing is when if
you're talking to a sister, like an extra
strength comes out of them. Sure. That's like,
yeah, it's like a Greek, it's called Greek
adrenaline, where they're just like, the daughter is
unaccounted for, or the sister's unaccounted
for, and she needs to be accounted for.
So, did your Yaya live in your house
as well? No, she didn't. She lived in
Astoria. So every weekend we go to
Yaya's house, you know, have the
whole family over each weekend all the time.
No, no reason.
So you were raised in the Upper West Side.
I raised in the Upper West Side weekends at Yaya's house in Astoria.
Yeah, I'm a city kid.
That's why she came in with a blazer.
That's an Upper West Side kid.
She's a New York City kid.
She's a very well-dressed human being.
And that's like Andrew Schultz kind of, right?
Top of the line.
New York City kids are the coolest kids on the planet.
She's got a very cool look. Yeah, they set the trend for the rest of the line. New York City kids are the coolest kids on the planet. She's got a very cool look.
They set the trend for the rest of the world.
Now, am I going to have to correspond
with your dad and your brothers to say
you're here, when you're leaving, how you're getting home,
things like that? Because I'm the Greek, so they
would try. Are they okay
with me? I think, well, if I just
say I'm hanging out with someone who's Greek, they're like,
I don't even care who they are.
Maybe tell me. I probably know their family.
Well, you can tell your dad, answer
she.com. I am, uh, we have this
confirmed 8% Greek. Oh, are
you? Yeah. Remember we confirmed that. No, it was
a zillion, but yeah, for your dad. Yeah, it was great.
He's a great kid. Yeah. He's a great kid. Yeah.
If you guys fell in love, I would, I would co-sign
that. I'd be like, I don't know how he got
this look, you know? Yeah.
I know. Yeah. He looks like the Ubermensch. I know that, but he looks like a child of Ricky. I was be like, I don't know how he got this look, you know? Yeah, I know. Yeah, he looks like the Ubermensch.
I know that, but... He looks like a child
of Ricky.
You and Jen Bacakis look like, yeah.
If you were Greek like her, because she looks
like she, yeah. Yeah. This is what
the Greeks look like. She looks
to me, you look Cretan. Oh, really?
Yeah, you look like my mom, like when she was young.
Oh. I'll pull up a pic. I'll show you.
I definitely have got, I look more like my giga who's from Sparta.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Let's be honest.
We're all inbred Greeks.
Yeah, that's true.
If we're from islands, a few of our cousins have given blowies.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah.
When you come from a Greek village, there is going to be a little incest.
But she doesn't look, she doesn't look inbred at all.
She looks like she's maybe like her family was like the top one and
then there was inbreeding going down but she didn't get it because your eyes are too close
together we've spoken about that yeah that you're you're a little bit down you're inbred i have a
touch of the downs yeah because the eyes are just too close i know and that's why glasses help right
because they frame the eyes and separate them a little bit yeah wait let me find this this comment
first of all whoever came up with yanni phill head is a 10. It made me laugh out loud.
Yeah.
And then somebody said the guy who posted that cuties and smoothies video, his eyes are too far apart.
And that's your arch nemesis.
Yeah.
That's what somebody said about that kid.
And I laughed real hard.
He's our sponsor to that kid.
He's a nutrition kid.
Somebody else also said that if you took that kid and me,
you would get a kid with normal between the eyes.
Yeah.
It's funny.
This other kid also said something to me about how I got to find it.
It's a comment about how my eyes being so close together,
produce,
produce my comedic genius.
It was a funny.
Yeah.
Talk to Venetia for a second well because well the thing
is because if your eyes were normal then you wouldn't have went into comedy because you would
because you would have been just handsome and you you know what i mean because we talk about
you're all you're you're handsome enough and you're almost really handsome but because the
eyes are too close together you had to use more skills for women 100 yeah 100 yeah yeah i would For women. 100%. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. I would.
Yeah.
I think the reason why I'm more of a humble kid is because I know for me to be a good looking kid, it's a lot of things have to be going right.
Yeah.
Like you just wake up and you do like that and you got your little rest of a reef curl
and you're ready to go.
But I learned how to talk to women because it's a big problem if, you know, because my
family can sniff out homosexuality and I'm a homo.
So I had to, in order to push it down, I learned how to talk to girls. So you think that
that you think your uncle was detected very early
by Janet and Lynn? Yeah, I think he got to.
I think, yeah, my uncle, shout out to Uncle
Russell, who's judging a cat judge right now in Switzerland.
Do you know how funny it is that your uncle
is a cat judge? He's a cat judge. Yeah.
And he, you know, he always
sends me messages that he's very proud of me and my skits.
So.
Yeah. You know, but if I was still on the island of Crete, always sends me messages that he's very proud of me and my skits. So, yeah.
So,
um,
you know,
but if I was still on the island decree,
I would be a handsome fucking kid.
You'd be a handsome kid.
I'm telling you,
cause even though you haven't worked out or you've been saying that you,
you know,
you're,
you're,
uh,
you don't feel good about yourself.
You look good.
Yeah.
You still look good.
Yeah.
Thanks man.
Yeah.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Mike,
you're right.
Yeah.
All right.
I just heard,
I just heard some heavy breathing.
We'll be CC with the people.
We were going to talk about something today.
We were going to talk about...
We decided today's just going to be called,
we're getting organized.
Organized is wild. What were we going to talk about?
Hijabs? No, that's what I've been
talking about on Instagram. Oh, yeah.
And I got a message from Mo Amir. He's going to
explain the whole thing to me. So is he going to come on the podcast and do it. Should we
get him on? Yeah. Can you ask him? Because he's a good friend of mine. He's a good friend. And he
said this requires a longer form conversation versus white people in comments giving you the
lowdown on the jeep. He said, enjoy the comments, though. But I said, love to hear it anytime. I
would love to know. So let Mo mo mo is a very very close personal friend
so i know let's get him on and maybe we can do like a history of um of the muzzies of the what
is it the uh the it's before recorded history bc no no it's the truth because it's before
recorded history oh oh oh um he said that uh the prophet muhammad is the only is the only voice that matters because he's the only one who existed in recorded history.
Yeah. So it makes sense for recorded history.
No, in recorded history, in recorded history, everybody else is before recorded history.
He's saying Prophet Muhammad was actually recorded.
So he's got to be for realsies.
So that's why it doesn't make sense.
That's why the Muslim faith is the only is the only one true thing, because Prophet Muhammad, that's what he said.
But he's after Jesus, Muhammad.
Yeah, I don't
think they necessarily see Jesus as a friend.
Way some
seeing.
Way some seeing.
Way some seeing.
If you want to hear our
true thoughts about the
nation of Islam, just go to
our good friend Brian Terry
and
podcast Ladder 14. They'll tell you that we're at
war with that religion. No, Sean Terry
and Patty Mulrooney.
Sean Terry, yeah. Sean Terry, Patty Mulrooney, Ladder
14 podcast. Go to
patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
Patrick Mulrooney told me to remind you
guys that it's been 4,674 days
since 9-11. So he told me to remind you guys. He's been 4,607 days since 9-11.
So he told me to remind you guys.
Yeah.
He's got to every day counts the days after 9-11 because that was an attack on a fucking nation.
And Sean Terry wants to remind everybody that Trump 2020.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
Trump 2020.
And yeah, if you don't want to fix it, build a wall, then you go down there and guard the
wall.
Yeah.
It's what you go down and guard it.
Yeah.
That's what Sean Terry wants you to know.
You go down there and guard it.
You guard it. That's yeah. That's yeah. He volunteers his time to go down there and guard the wall. Yeah, that's what it is. Then you go down and guard it. Yeah. That's what Sean Terry wants you to know. You go down there and guard it. You guard it then.
Yeah, he volunteers his time to go down there and guard that wall.
Yeah, and also he's got no problem with trans kids in the military.
If you pick up a gun and fight for this country, it's not a problem.
I only have a problem because I have a friend who has a son who's in the military.
And he told me that one of the guys who's now a girl took a bullet for him in Iraq.
And I changed my opinion after that post Obama.
Yeah, post Obama.
It's just what it is. Yeah.
And Patrick Mulroney says he doesn't mind if
you're gay in the military, just don't do that gay shit around me.
Just don't do it around me. But you know, if you're fighting with the boys,
it's okay. Trump 2020. It's what
it is. Yeah.
So the Prophet Muhammad was born
after Jesus. After Jesus. So it's
recorded history. Thank you, Mike. It's recorded history. Yeah.
So that's what Muhammad Ameer... I think he was saying
he was before recorded. No.
Prophet Muhammad is after Jesus. So it's, he's
saying, Muhammad Ameer
is saying that's why
the prophet, that's why Islam is the
one truth. Because Prophet Muhammad
is in recorded history.
But they do appreciate Jesus, right?
You don't think they're, you know. Jesus is a
prophet, just like Muhammad. I don't know
why we haven't gone to the Muzzy for the answers for this this yeah well we're gonna get mo in here we'll get mo in
here and we're just all gonna wear burqas yeah it's what it is yeah we're gonna if he comes on
will she have to put on a jeep 100 yeah she can't have her hair down it's very disrespectful have
her hair down because how funny which is gonna have to turn around and look at the wall wait
hold up there's no way he's gonna listen to this episode because he's a busy he's a very funny kid
he's a very funny kid check out his a very funny kid. Check out his Netflix
special, The Vagabond. But let's
just let the fans know what we're going to do because it's funny
and he won't know. When we invite him in,
can we have her put on a hijab and just
not say anything? Yeah, that's so funny. And when he
asks about it, just be like, we thought, you know,
and then maybe put Mike in a hijab too. Maybe we all
wear hijabs. Yeah, yeah. No, but
that would be so funny. There's a
hijab store right on Fifth Avenue in Bay Ridge, right?
In Beirut.
Yeah.
But how do you go?
How do you go?
How do you go in and buy them, though?
We can't look like us and buy them.
Yes, you can.
They're going to know we're doing something.
No, they didn't.
I can bring them if you guys want.
I'll bring everyone a hijab.
Yeah.
If you can bring it for, we'll put on the hijab.
We'll just do that.
Yeah.
Do you mind putting one on?
As a joke, would you put it on?
As a joke?
I mean, it would be very interesting.
We'll all put them on. Mike's going to put one on too.
You guys don't have that much hair to manage though.
That's probably...
It's so funny that to have
Mike in that thing,
it's hard for me to take.
We're going to do it and we're going to not try to laugh
when he comes in.
We want to have a serious conversation.
When he brings it up, we just want to add a respect for you because you're Muslim. We're just going to come in and thank you so much. We want to have a serious conversation. And when he brings it up, be like, you know, we just
want to add a respect for you because you're Muslim. We just
wanted to make sure. I didn't want to show
my hair show, but then the kicker, the thing is I'm going
to get up. I have no pants on.
We'll be full.
Full shrink dick.
If you were a hijab and
hijab, is it a hijab or a hijab?
Yeah, with a fucking thong on.
And just a thong?
Yeah, we're going to get murdered.
Because I found this fucking site
that they just have shirts for me.
It's a
hold on, wait, let me fucking keep talking.
Let me find this site.
I was searching before and I couldn't find
what I was trying to find for you.
And we don't even have to interrupt the podcast anymore to do reads because we're going to just edit them in.
How about this video you pulled up? What do you that's from the Patreon draft?
Oh, yeah. Mike, see if it's still up there. This is from the Patreon draft.
This is Lisa Johnson. This is a really awesome video.
Can you help us with the Patreon draft? Yeah, sure.
So can we quickly explain the Patreon draft to people who, first of all, you have to go
to patreon.com slash Bray Ridge Boys to enter, but what's the draft?
Okay, so here's what happened.
Yeah.
This is how hyena we are.
Yeah.
The Patreon draft happened, what, like a month ago at this point?
The Patreon draft?
That's about three months ago.
Three months ago.
Yeah, that was actually, you weren't even married yet.
Yeah.
I mean, the Patreon, that might have been 2018.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, you guys, don't be too hard on us.
We're a couple of hyenas.
That's what I was trying to say before.
When we named this history hyena, I really didn't know how wild you were going to get on here.
You go wild.
I just had to stop you midway through that.
Through that.
Hey, Bert thing.
Because like you just go.
You're Chrissy.
Fucking.
The brakes don't work. Yeah. Chrissy Greenlight. Yeah. You're Chrissy fucking the brakes don't work. Yeah, Chrissy Greenlight.
Yeah, you're Chrissy fucking.
So, don't be too
hard on us. The draft started like three months ago.
I don't even think we remember
who we drafted. Yeah, I have no idea. I just
remember drafting people. I remember drafting
Leanne the garlic slicer.
So, what we're going to, I think maybe
there's a few people we drafted who might have
even canceled by now. Probably. but what we're going to do is
Venetia is going to come in
and she's going to help us organize
we're going to get right back on track
and we're going to start getting
we're going to start doing our
games the whole reason why we made
this draft we got our teams we're going to do it
and the first game that we did
we never even followed up on
so and I don't even know where a lot of the videos are.
I got to find them.
But here's one from one of our like top tier non-toots.
Lisa Johnson, who I drafted to Team Chrissy D Cups.
Yeah.
So this is for the game was to make a video explaining to the toots, because I'm a screwed in kid.
Yes.
Why you want to be a non-toot, make it funny.
Make it funny and get drafted. Yeah. Why is Why you want to be a non toot make it funny. Make it funny and get drafted.
Yeah. Why is it so good to be a non toot? So go to patreon.com
slash Bear Ridge Boys for these videos but we just want to
play one right here. This is Lisa Johnson. Don't go there
because they're not there. We're going to find them. We're going to get them up
now because we have a woman in here that's cleaning things up
and everybody's sitting up straight
and because she's a woman with a Greek father
and she's got a blazer on. She's from New York. She voted for Hillary.
It's guaranteed. Yeah. Did you go Hillary?
You went Hillary. Yeah.
Your family definitely went Trump though. Dad went Trump?
No, not my immediate family
but there was a few surprises during
the family, you know, reunion.
I mean, yeah, your family in Greece tried to go Trump
from Greece.
No, they hate him probably. Yeah?
They hate him over there but, you know.
But Greeks here, there's a lot of Greek Republicans.
They're just Republicans into the conspiracy
theories. It's all Greeks love
conspiracy. They love it. They love it.
Yeah, that's the embryo. All right.
The door. Yeah. Yeah.
Go ahead, Mike. Leave a space so we
could edit it between.
OK. Vodora Rajpaska,
Sri Lankan comic based
in Berlin. He hosts the Anything Goes podcast,
which is pretty much just him sitting down and talking about
shit and comedy and culture and current events
with different artists around the city. You can find all
his dates, podcasts, episodes, and social media stuff
on livefromthesandbox.com.
Best website in the business,
livefromthesandbox.com.
He can also be found on Instagram
and all social media at
Vodora Rajpaska. Yeah, he also
hit us up if we could post some of his stand-up clips.
You're going to have to join at the new $500
member level if you want that, Vedora.
It's what it is. So cough up that Sri Lankan money.
Yeah, it's what it is. We take Sri Lankan money
as well. We're also brought to you by
our inaugural
favorite corporate
small business sponsor, however you want to call it.
Cuz, you know who it is? It's Dr.
Harvey Spencer Jr.
Yes. From South Carolina.
Go to a healthy, happy,
smile.com.
A healthy, smile family and cosmetic
dentistry. You can follow him
on Instagram at
a healthy, smile, rock hill.
So go check it out. Tell them
how he sent you. You know what they're going to do?
They're going to crack open those fucking teeth and they're going to clean them out. It's going to be him or his wife. them the high he sent you you know what they're gonna do they're gonna crack open those fucking teeth and they're gonna clean them out it's gonna be him or his wife tell them
the hyena sent you now this next one nutrition made fun they're here to help you the tooties
and the non-toots drop some pounds take control of your eating together we're gonna dial in a
series of sustainable eating habits that work for you so you don't have to you don't got to worry
about calories rules or restricted foods again you lose weight for good eat what you want and stay sane in
the process with some common sense habits that will last a lifetime coach matt this kid coach
matt his eyes are too far apart so was yannis's fucking nemesis but he's a certified nutrition
coach and a wild dude who would rather support us than figure out traditional marketing we make
history fun like they'll make eating healthier fun. Next enrollment
opens July 15. Follow them at
Nutrition Made Fun on the Gram. That's at
Nutrition Made Fun on the Gram.
Yeah, we posted them on our gram so you can check that
out. And we also got
Tremors Copy Coming. What does
that mean? Oh, working on smart
cups. Yeah, I know that kid. We should hit him
up for a lot bigger. Yeah, that
kid's a fucking smart kid. So it's the
the. Okay.
Oh, yeah. These kids also
got a fucking deal and they're lucky they
got grandfathered in because they already got a
successful business given and they got
a great business. Lakeside
Maple. They specialize in trail
mix cause so it keeps you slim
if you throw it hands. Yeah. And also
check it out, Chrissy. It comes with pure maple syrup on the trail mix. So if you throw it hands yeah and also check it out Chrissy it comes with pure maple
syrup on the trail mix
so if you got a sweet tooth then
this will crack open that sweet tooth they have
three different flavors original ginger
chai and spicy
it makes a great snack if you're on the go
in your car and you're a healthy kid or you're at
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Let's go Lisa Johnson.
Yeah.
It's your girl Lisa Johnson, a.k.a. Queen Peace
a.k.a. Sometimes Single, girl Lisa Johnson, a.k.a. Queen Peace, a.k.a. sometimes
single, sometimes engaged, depending on who's
asking. And I'm going to tell you why you
should join the matriarchy on patreon.com
slash Be A Rich Voice.
Listen, if you want to be a hyena,
you want to be here for a good time and then a long
time. And not only are you going to get access to good
content, wild content, wild messages
on the message board, you're also going to get
three additional benefits that you
didn't think you had access to. You didn't even know you had access
to. The first one being, you
get to order off the secret menu and call fuckers.
Can I get a grande
iced Leroy, please?
The second benefit is you learn ways
of wayshun shit.
How many geriatric dicks do I have to suck
out of this fucking traffic?
Weisheng Shui.
I'll do that shit
regardless.
Delicious.
And the third benefit
is learning the circle of trust.
Make no mistake, you are trusting
your hard-earned American dollars
or the money you received from
some cuck who picked you up in the back of a pickup truck
at Home Depot or a gas station to do some
bullshit ass jobs at his house. You're
trusting that money. You're giving that money
to this guy.
Tattoo
fingers it says.
And it was a picture of a sand beach.
Your peace?
Chrissy D will crack you open
and clean you out.
Let me be crystal fucking clear
with you guys. If you think Chrissy D
is a comedian traveling all
over the country for jokes, you got
another thing coming. Just make no mistake,
Chrissy D is a puss puss hunter.
Chrissy D doesn't want to be fed.
Chrissy D wants to hunt.
And if Chrissy D needs fucking peace to be fed. Chrissy D wants to hunt. And if you're single,
you're in fucking peace.
Our guy from Houston,
he will find you, and he will
free you up.
Take no peace, our guy from Houston.
And look at the pics she chose when you're doing your underbite.
Yeah.
You gotta go to patreon.com.
Thanks for watching. Again, if you want to be a part
of the matriarchy, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, and for watching. Again, if you want to be a part of the matriarchy, go to patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys and you get to see
crazy shit like this. Also, this video
is a complete way.
Wayshanxin.
Wayshanxin.
Lisa Johnson.
Can we post that right now on patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys?
There's a few more. Should we put it on Instagram?
Well, it's too long though, right?
I can do it in two parts.
That was hilarious. Wow.
I'm actually like tearing up, especially the
picture of tattooed fingers in the beach. Yeah.
I mean, it was so nice to see that. Yeah. Yeah.
That was good. And then she found a picture of you doing the underbite.
People have finally figured out
that you're a little Franks and Beans with that underbite.
Yeah. Because there's that video of us talking
about Milo Papa Papa
bitch. And they said they said they saw everyone's talking about Milo Papa Papa Bitch and they said
everyone's talking about how they love when you get
an underbite when you get excited. When you get
excited, you know the jaw comes out and you're doing
this? Yeah. That you get a little
for Yanni Long Days.
If I'm saying something and you're getting into it, you do a little underbite.
Yeah.
That was good. That was good. That draft
stuff was good. I'm excited. So we're not going to talk
about any history today or do you want to just briefly talk about
No.
We're too deep in it.
This is a nice little
Let's talk about San Diego
quick. Let's talk about San Diego but this is the
episode to let, we're letting our fans
know we're on it. We're on it.
We've heard your critiques and boy we've had a few.
Yeah. And not about content
so that's the
good part you guys love the cast but we do understand that we're gonna get a little more
organized and we're gonna do we're gonna get we're gonna get better yeah yeah so i just want
to give a shout out to um jason smithtown water smithtown water department shout out um i just
want to give a shout out to jason who came out to the American comedy company. Um, he's a true fan.
He drove down from LA.
He's,
um,
a Canadian Eastern Hemi.
Um,
you sent me a video of this kid.
This kid is a fan.
This kid's a big time fan.
And,
he was with us the whole night,
me,
him and Sergio.
Um,
he got Sergio to break his sobriety after six years and smoke weed.
Um,
so that's good.
And,
um,
and,
uh, and then he made many of the women surrounding us at the bar very uncomfortable and we kind of left and never want to see him or talk
to him again but thank you so much for for being there in san diego because cuz you like made us
you made me really fucking happy uh that like someone like that just what a fan you are. So I just want to say truthfully, thank you so much.
I'm your consultant.
So he says that his parents are not proud of him at all.
He's an Asian kid, so he had to be a lawyer or a doctor.
But he said he doesn't want to do anything.
He just wants to give his life to the matriarchy.
That's what he told me.
He's a $25 member.
He's a $25 member who has been a $25 member for six months.
And we haven't called him once.
We haven't called him once.
So he said that he doesn't mind. He's still paying um but he's just like you know it's kind of like what
i'm talking about because he said oh i'm a 25 dollar member i never got my call and i said well
you know we're a little backlog i said when did you join and he said six months ago and i said uh
well it's just what it is and he said cuz it's no problem um that he likes it and then he gave us a
lot me a lot of critique,
constructive criticism,
which I really appreciated from a fan what he likes,
what he doesn't like.
And, and yeah, really motivated to change.
So thank you so much.
Let me find his fucking actual Instagram.
Cause I really want you guys to,
to go show this kid some love.
Yeah.
And he's the one he's San Diego.
Yeah. I know you tell the story about San Diego.
Oh, yeah. With the homeless people.
Well, San Diego is like an anomaly in California because it's a conservative town.
Yeah. Because it's on it was right on the border with.
OK, Tijuana.
Just real name. His name is Jason Lee and his Instagram is at Smile Per Gallon.
I love when Asian guys have the name like Jason
or Tom and then Lee. It's like, what's
the real name? Smile Per Gallon.
And he's like for real Asian.
So his real name is like,
and he talks, I'm Dean!
You know? Yeah.
Yeah.
When he started talking to me, I was like, are you going to give me a menu
or something? Because I got to go.
Did he have an accent or no? No, he talking to me, I just was like, are you going to give me a menu or something? Cause I gotta go.
Did he have an accident or no?
No,
he had an accident,
but he's,
but he's from,
he lives in Calgary,
Canada, but he came over from China.
Um,
like,
like 15 years ago.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
and now he's a,
he's a consultant.
Um,
and,
uh,
and he's,
he's,
he said he's living in LA now.
Um, and he said, you know, most girls to crack open and clean out. And it's living in la now um and he said you know most
cousin for girls to crack open and clean out and it's like what he was saying yeah yeah and then
chinese just sounds like chicken like a chicken but but thank you so much so go follow at smile
per gallon and tell him thank you for his service because he's a fucking real deal kid and he's a
non-toot who's just not fucking whining about not getting his call after paying well over $200
for no reason.
We know we really appreciate it.
We love the fans. The whole reason why
we're doing this is because of you guys. So thank you.
San Diego is a conservative town. It's on the
border with Tijuana. Tijuana is like six minutes away
from San Diego. Yeah, I know. It's crazy.
He wanted to go down there, but I wasn't going down
there with that fucking nut job. Yeah, especially because
Kevin Barnett died there. Yeah, our good friend. Yeah, it's a terrible thing and I'm never going down there with that fucking nut job. Yeah. Especially because Kevin Barnett died there. Yeah.
So.
A good friend.
Yeah.
It's a terrible thing.
And I'm never going to Tijuana.
Was he in Tijuana?
I think he was in Tijuana.
I believe so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not going there.
A lot of people go there to party, but this is how much of a conservative town San Diego
is, which is an anomaly in California.
It's a very liberal place, but San Diego is a conservative town.
When you go to San Diego and Tijuana is literally like three minutes away from fucking San Diego.
It's like on the other side.
Right.
You're there.
You're on the border with Mexico.
There is no trace of Tijuana in San Diego.
No, there's no bleed over.
Like when you're in San Diego, you're in San Diego.
Let me tell you something.
Here's how you know you're in fucking a conservative town.
The background of the comedy club, the American Comedy Company,
is a bald eagle with American flag draped around it.
Yeah, that's the background.
That's like, welcome to the comedy show.
It's just America.
I didn't even think of that.
If that owner could put a fucking Donald Trump 2020 on, he would do it.
Yeah.
And he listens to all our stuff, too.
I think he's a fan of us.
I think he listens to the podcast.
He might be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I never met the guy.
Whoever runs the account, the American Comedy account.
Who is that?
The manager?
No, it's probably his kid, Stevie Wonderbread.
Go follow Stevie Wonderbread on Instagram.
He's a good kid. Yeah. So when I did it, how many years ago?
Maybe two years ago. Yeah.
So this is a story that happened there.
This is a true story that happened.
So if you go to San Diego,
like a lot of cities that aren't New York,
the homeless people are very
aggressive with you. You could be
sitting outside a restaurant.
They'll come right up to you.
They really kind of get in your space a little bit.
Right.
And I hate that shit.
Cause I'm from New York.
Right.
You hear me eating the celery.
I can hear you eating the celery.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to stop.
So when I lived in Miami too,
they were super fucking aggressive.
New York,
they're not.
So I, I said, I noticed that in San Diego and the first joke I opened up with, in Miami too they were super fucking aggressive New York they're not so I
said I noticed that in San Diego and the first
joke I opened up with
when I was there was
you know like in New York
our homeless people aren't that aggressive because
to be honest in New York they know
that if they kind of get into our
space that one of them could get set on fire
yeah we'll set them on fire so there's
just this is understanding that you could get set on fire because it's just like in new york it's like
you know sometimes people just they throw in the towel and they've had enough they just want to get
to their on their on the train without you know the homeless people bothering them so they just
light one on fire it's what it is the same thing in salem it worked out fine yeah yeah in new york
you just don't know who you're dealing with and like new yorkers are kind of people who just like
yeah they won't just take it right so i made the made the joke. I was like, all you got to do San Diego
is just set one on fire to send a message to the community that this could, you just want them to
think it could happen. Cause I said in New York, it works. We don't actually set them on fire,
but they know in the back of their head that it could happen. So you need to just set one on fire.
So it's send a message. Right. And then, then um i said it like the first maybe the second show
maybe it was the third show on saturday where someone finally said to me because i was hearing
a lot of laughs but also a few groans yeah and of course i could understand the groans a little bit
because it was an edgy joke or whatever but but the groans had a little more to them until finally
someone in the audience finally told me because i asked like what's going on i'm like i'm just
kidding and the guy said well actually um like two weeks ago someone did that yeah so someone in san diego was asked some fucking psycho was like
dousing people with gasoline and setting them on fire yeah yeah you know what it is about crazy
conservatives yeah when they lose it and they've just had enough yeah they just do the awful thing
that you yell in frustration in your car yeah when you're like god like, God damn it, I wish I could just set all these people
on fire. Yeah. Some fucking psychotic
right-wing kid is going, you know what?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to make a stop at Home Depot.
I'm going to Home Depot on the way home
and it's what it is. It's what it is.
Yeah. So it's a horrible thing, but that's
what happened. It's what happened. I mean, San Diego,
yeah, it's that gas lamp district
there, which by the way, shout out for the American
Comedy Company. The shows were sold out again, and
it's a lot of hyena fans, so I really
appreciate the fucking support.
Shout out to the Water Department.
Thank you for your service.
So thank you guys for coming.
But it's weird because it's such a beautiful
place. You got the La Jolla Cove there. You got the
seals. You have beautiful
beaches. And then you just have in the middle of that
city, you just have a lot middle of that city you just have
a lot i mean it's the homeless are fucking everywhere and they are truly aggressive like
they're on well they're on drugs yeah they're on drugs so they just get into your fucking space
yeah and it's like i you know i'm not good with that yeah remember when i told you that story
about when i responded to a guy and then he spit on the woman behind me yeah it's just what happens
it's just yeah sometimes it was really my fault yeah, sometimes. It was really my fault. Yeah, it's a little unlucky.
Yeah, because I was like, come on, man.
He came up to us while we were eating outside and I'm like, come on, man.
See, I don't, I was just
dealing with them. I mean, the thing is
I think that even though
here's why. I always give money
but if you're sitting outside, it's like,
let me enjoy my, you're interrupting
my fucking meal, man. The thing is with me
is the truth is,
is,
is I'm,
I'm a compassionate kid.
I joke around a lot.
I'm,
I got an alpha skeleton with a beta brain and soul.
So I think,
but because I have an alpha skeleton and an alpha looking head,
I think that the homeless don't talk to me because they think that I'm going to want to set the light.
I'm on fire.
And you think you're an officer too.
They think I'm an officer.
Yeah.
So they don't really approach me.
Um,
but,
but I, I mean, the way that they were making, they were i'm an officer yeah so they don't really approach me um but but
i i mean the way that they were making they were making this one family feel so uncomfortable like
this guy with his wife and they had two little kids and they were just like he was trying to
like scam him you know like that things like in new york they'll fucking drop a bottle that's
already broken and then be like oh you drove you broke my snapple man give me a dollar like this
my glasses yeah that shit you know so they were trying to scam
this family and I just walked
you know Sergio saw it I just couldn't I didn't
even tell him I just couldn't take it I was like did you throw hands
at one of them no no no no no but I just told
I just said hey you gotta stop scamming these people
you're a real dirtbag and then
and I said dirtbag because that's Sergio's word yeah and then
Sergio was just like dumbfounded that I was doing this
and uh and the guy was
like um the guy was like oh, I'm just playing a card.
You guys like, you're not, you're trying to steal this family.
I'm from New York.
I was like, where are you guys from?
And they said, Michigan.
I was like, yeah, he's this guy's a fuck.
You want to stay away from this filth.
And I just, you know, you're one of those kids in San Diego.
That's just have enough.
Yeah.
I just had enough.
And then the guys, you act like you patrol the border and you just had enough.
Yeah.
I just had enough because it's just like, you you know like these people are getting scammed and it's
just brutal yeah so it's like you got to just stay away from these fucking dirtbags and it's i didn't
mean the guy's filled because he's homeless but i mean it's just the mindset to take money from
you know these it's just filth it's like listen the truth is you're probably homeless you're
gonna blame it on everybody else's circumstances oh it's because you were born this way and this
happened people got circumstances people got obstacles to overcome, overcome them.
Stop being a fucking loser and stop fucking trying to get into drugs and alcohol and damage
your life.
Because guess what?
I've had plenty of reasons to to get into drugs and alcohol.
And I did it.
OK, I got skull fucked by a priest.
And I'm still fucking here right now instead of fucking having smoking crack and saying,
oh, I don't have any opportunity anymore because they want to give it to the fucking, you know, somebody who's a fucking transgender Eskimo. You know what
I do? I go into that gym. I throw hands. I take a little bite of Nutella because I got to fucking
hit the sweet tooth. I go pick up that baby and I sit in my car and I drop her off and we look by
the water and then get if I'm feeling really vulnerable. You know what I do? I go into a park.
I go into that park downtown on the east side over there, Washington Park, and I spin the wheel a little bit and that gets it out. But the
truth is, is whatever you're going through, stop blaming on everybody else because I don't care.
I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what situation you were born into. I don't care. I
don't care what nationality you are. I don't care. Everybody starts somewhere. Some people start
ahead. Some people start behind. It is your responsibility as you get older to overcome your obstacles.
And if you can't, we'll seek help.
We'll help you out.
But do not ever fucking blame it on anybody else but yourself.
Wow.
Yeah.
That was a special steel pipe Chrissy San Diego edition.
So instead of picking up a steel pipe, the kid picked up a little lighter fluid in a
bit.
I picked up a steel pipe, the kid picked up a little lighter fluid in a bit. I picked up a lot.
Oh, cuz, would you go back to the American?
What I'm saying?
Did anything I say?
Was there anything wrong?
It's a it's all things that you heard Lynn scream in the shower.
Yeah, it's just.
Yeah.
Lynn just screamed into the shower.
Like, why do I got to fucking go get on the train every day for 35 years to pay for your
baby's mom?
His mom's food stamps.
Yeah, it's just.
Yeah. train every day for 35 years to pay for your baby's mama's mama's food stamps. Yeah, it's just low-ass.
Venetia, is it different being here in person and seeing it, or is it what
you imagined? Actually,
I feel like every time you guys are
when I'm listening to you guys, I feel like I'm
part of it, but here, being here,
it's kind of the same. I feel like
I have my headphones. It's good.
Live show.
If your dad knew you were
you were involved with us
in any way he wouldn't be happy if you were saying what are you
doing your summer you're like I'm hanging out with these two
kids doing this podcast and he took a listen
yeah you may be in military school in
Greece yeah how old are you
I'm 27 27 good
so now is your pressure on you
from your family to start getting married and having kids now
now are you a Jim Bagaccus 27 or a real 27?
Yeah.
Are you a spin the wheel 27?
I am.
I just.
A real 27.
So is there pressure to start to like settle down?
Oh, that happened like five years ago.
Like, you know, really the pressure is from Yaya.
She actually has dementia.
So like when I remind her my age,
the first thing that she says is like, yo,
you got to find someone. Now let me ask you,
are you, I know what your family wants, but do you,
are you only settling for a Greek as well?
She's got no choice. No, but I'm asking
her what she wants. I know she has no choice, but like, what does
she want? She's not going to answer that honestly.
I mean, don't try to be a hero here. And what are you
going to do? Try to change the Greek culture right here on this
podcast? No, I'm just not going to happen. I'm honestly interested. I mean, don't try to be a hero here. And what are you going to do? Try to change the Greek culture right here on this podcast? No, I'm just not going to happen.
I'm honestly interested.
I just I don't know what she wants.
You're asking basically what you're asking her is would be like me asking Mo.
I'm asking if you want to take a walk and get water with me.
Would you like to get water?
I don't know if you want to just get a slice of maybe water.
I'll convert to Greek Orthodox. They can dump me in a tub like a baby. Can I get water. I don't know if you want to just get a slice of maybe water. I'll convert to Greek Orthodox.
They can dump me in a tub like a baby.
Can I get water with you?
I think you're a beautiful woman, and I just want to get water.
You want to go get a spani copita and water?
And water.
Maybe we could do something nice like that.
So how do you feel?
The equivalent of what you're asking is like if Mo Amir was here and I was asking him,
tell me why Islam is bullshit.
Yeah.
You're not going to get it.
It's not going to happen.
Yeah.
So the truth is you have to be Greek.
Yeah.
We have to, you know, read more Greek.
There's not an option for you to even date a non-Greek.
You would have not encouraged at all.
Yeah.
If you have you ever in your life.
Yeah, I have.
I have.
But you want to you want us to cackle that out?
You can cackle that out.
You're okay letting your dad know that...
No, we have not gotten there yet.
Wait, Sean Sheehan.
You honestly told me that word's okay to say.
That's why I said it. It just means black,
but Greeks have turned it into something else just because
of how racist Greeks are.
It's the Greek word for black.
Mavri means black.
Yeah, because I was just kidding. But anything that comes out of that
German hole, yeah, it's just what it is.
It just has a little twang to it.
It's just got a Ridgewood twang. I have no
quarrel with any groups of people.
No, everybody knows that. That's why the
Eastern Hemi loves you so much over there.
Did you call him an Eastern Hemi when you saw him?
Yeah. Tommy? In San Diego?
Who?
Oh, the kid, Jason?
Jason.
Yeah, I called him.
Well, he said he's a white walker.
He said he's an, he called himself an Eastern Hemi white walker.
Yeah.
I mean, we would get Mike back over that wall if we could lift him up, but he's a heavy
kid.
No, but he's losing fucking some LBs.
Yeah.
And if he doesn't get the thing straight, we're going to catapult him right back over
that wall.
Yeah, right back over that wall.
Yeah.
So you can.
Because Zach's doing jujitsu now, by
the way, so we got to be very careful around
fucking tattoo fingers.
Yeah, he'll get it. Yeah.
You'll try to throw hands. He'll get a hold of you.
He'll fucking grapple me and then cuz make
no mistake. Do a few things to you physically. Yeah, you better
be careful, though, because if you get a finger anywhere near around
my butt, I'll come and it's over.
So you dated a non-Greek. Does your family know you dated a non-Greek?
Yeah, they did.
Oh, my God.
They welcomed him in?
He was a nice Jewish boy.
And my mom was actually kind of like, OK, you know, our cultures are kind of similar.
And growing up on the Upper West Side, you know.
Except for his family controlling all the banks, which your parents told when he wasn't around.
You know, like, we're OK with him, but you got to tell his family to leave our country alone.
Well, because she brought him a nice Jewish guy, at least he got
some money. The father probably was accepted.
No, no, no.
It's still not. No, the father, it's going to take,
yeah, I wish someone would do the research
to figure out what the average is, but
if a guy marries a Greek
girl and he's non-Greek, it takes about
the father about five to ten years to accept him.
I would say around, and he's got to be a great
guy, and like the whole ten years, he's got to
take care of his daughter so much that finally
the Greek father capitulates and
says, you know, you know it, son.
So the movie My Big Fat Greek
Wedding is based in so much truth. That's why it was
such a hit. Exactly. It's based more
on Greek Americans rather than Greeks.
That's kind of the big difference.
Okay, so a Greek, okay, so
you're saying a greek american is
less strict or more strict with the data they're more strict a lot of greek americans like
you know they came over in the 50s over here so like you know the mentality of
you know trying to procreate and just like be around in a greek community that's all they
really wanted so if you're dating someone else who's outside of the greek community that means
that you're going to be bringing in the communities. In Greece, your husband could be
Asian. No problem. No, no.
There's no Asians there, though, you know.
But yeah, not really. Germans are
the worst. Greeks hate Germans,
especially Cretans.
Cretans hate Germans. It's just
I mean, you can't blame them. They were
occupied by them. That's what happens.
But most, number one hate is Turks.
Greeks in Greece hate Turks.
Here it's not such a big problem, I think.
But in Greece, it's like a bad word
to call somebody a Turk. But you could
never come to her Upper West Side apartment.
Is your dad in an apartment?
Is he in the apartment, your dad?
Yeah. Oh, so you live at home.
Yeah, my parents, they live in
Florida and they come back.
What, you got a three-beddy? You're up here alone? You're unsuper back. We got a three-beddy?
You're up here alone?
You're unsupervised?
I'm here with my brother as well.
He's guarding you, yeah.
On natural sunlight?
Yeah.
I'm looking for him fast.
If you went home with her
and you guys started dating,
she'd be like, hey, this is my
new boyfriend, Chris DiStefano guys started dating she'd be like hey this is my new boyfriend
Chris DiStefano and the
father would be like really
so
you're Greek
and you'd go no you'd come out with that
no I'm sorry Mr. what's your last
name? Jairus, Jairus Sinopolis
Mr. Jairus Sinopolis I'm sorry no
I'm from Ridgewood Queen so you know my mother Lynn she worked
hard all her life 40 years she got a good pension I'm a good kid I'm sorry. No, I'm from Ridgewood, Queens. You know, my mother, Lynn, she worked hard all her life, 40 years.
She got a good pension.
You know, I'm a good kid.
I'm a Catholic.
I love my daughter who's half Puerto Rican.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then he said, so you've been married?
You have been married?
Have you been married?
No, not exactly.
I got a situation with the mother.
I got a situation with the mother.
I met her one night and then, you know, she got pregnant nine months later.
Yeah.
And then he would say, just get out of the house.
Get out of the house.
Get out of the house. Stay away the house. Get out of the house. Get out of the house. Stay away from her.
Get out of the house, you piece of
shit. And that would be it.
Once you said you had a situation with the mother.
Is that accurate? Yeah, it's over.
Verbatim, basically.
Is it possible
your father would ever accept the fact that he had
a situation with the mother and a baby with another woman?
It's not welcome.
Now, would your mother accept it?
No.
It's a no for both.
What about I have a decently high level
of education? Would that help?
Yes.
I have a doctorate degree.
You're very well educated.
There you go. So that's a point.
How about me? Now me, I'm Greek,
but I'm a
i'm a clown i'm party clown yeah my job is party dresses up like a woman and he makes money off
yeah they would yeah so is there a balance or because he's greek he would always win well my
family knows about everybody knows in the greek media does your father know about panos but do
they know about marisa yeah do they know about that one yeah they're going to see that that's
going to be different that's different different than Mr. Pons.
Yeah.
But your dad doesn't know Mr. Pons. It's probably your
brothers. No, my whole family does.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We love that
Skip the Malacca video. That's
the funniest thing. Now, could we set up, I'm just
going to say it. Could we set up a slice in a
glass of water? A slice of water. Could we set up
a boxing match between one of your brothers? And if I win, I get
your heart?
Yeah.
Because if you start a boxing match, the other brother
would jump in and get on your back.
And then I would jump in too because you're German and we just
got to get you down. You got to get me down.
You snow monkeys. Yeah, we got to fucking put the snow monkeys back in.
Should we read out some new Patreon
members and make some calls? Let's make some calls.
How many calls do we have to make, Mush?
We're making five calls today.
Oh, that's not bad.
Five calls.
So listen, Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
We have capped.
We have closed the $100 level because we're just too big, to be honest with you.
And you guys got an amazing deal.
So that's what it is.
But since we're such good kids and we appreciate your support
whoever is locked how many are locked in
at the $100 level Mike
seven we have $700
sponsors who are grandfathered in
if you want to be $100 sponsors for the rest
of your fucking life for the rest of our lives you're in
but from now on we have a new level
it's $500 a month call me
Phillips head Pappas so if you
want to be a corporate sponsor which is still a great deal $500 a month. Call me Phillips Head Pappas. So if you want to be a corporate sponsor. Which is still a great
deal. $500. It's actually, it should
be more. So $500 a month now is a new level.
But here, Chrissy's going to say yeah.
I'm going to read out the newest members
to the Patreon. Welcome so much. Thank you for
going to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
And we always encourage you guys to come up with funny
names based off the podcast lingo
or whatever you think. And anytime
they're appreciated. So we're going to start
off with Nicky No Cucks.
Nicky No Cucks.
Then we got Chrissy Westchester.
Yeah, what's up? Westchester.
Union worker Tyler. These guys are
getting funny now. Yeah, Derek Walsh.
Derek Walsh. Clayton Taylor for $25.
Wait, is that Clayton? No, that's not. We lost
Clay. We lost Clay Anthony.
Now we got Clayton Taylor for 25 bucks.
Welcome. Amanda Mortoci. Amanda Mortoci.
There's definitely not a situation where she wouldn't get disappointed if there was too much garlic.
It's what it is. Alejandra Shabazz. Alejandra Shabazz. Yeah.
Alejandra Shabazz. She might have gotten.
We might have some more Muzzy's in here now because of the last episode that we had with the German Muzz.
Yeah, that could be that. Yeah. We love Muzzy's in here now because of the last episode that we had with the German Muzz. Yeah, that could be that.
Yeah.
We love Muzzy's.
Yeah, we love.
Yeah.
So Trenton.
Trenton Caruthers.
That's a fucking wasp.
That.
No, I thought.
Trenton Caruthers.
Yeah, that's a wasp.
Right.
Or I thought it could be a black kid.
I think it could be a draft pick.
OK.
Next one.
Josh White.
Could be a black kid.
Josh White.
Carmine.
Get me a water.
Galluccio.
I mean,
10 out of 10.
I mean,
he's so Italian.
Hurt my balls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Carmine.
Get me a water.
Galluccio.
Carmine.
Galluccio.
Carmine.
Galluccio.
That might be as good as Sally.
Guzzard.
Sally.
Guzzard.
Carmine.
Galluccio.
Just every time you talk to me,
it gives you a quote.
It just gives you a quote on fucking on some marble shit
there's no way that that kid doesn't have a family
business with a van with a number on it
yeah Will Riddle
Matt should I eat this potato
or ferment it and drink it Driscoll
yeah well thank you for your service
that was a little long winded but it's still fine
yeah Henry Hindish
it's a German kid
did you go
doing?
Justin, that ham P
is the last guy. Justin. All right.
Thank you so much. Thank you guys so much for your service.
We really appreciate it. You know what's funny about this list of
Patreon members? Yeah. It's starting to feel like when we first
started, they're getting shorter. Yeah.
Because we used to
we were getting about 50
a week and now we have about 10 because making no
mistake it's our fault yeah it's all our fault so um but it's not gonna happen anymore we expect
things to get better um we're really committed to this we have merchandise coming um which do we
have do we have that stuff ready yet to go like the uh the actual plugs for it and where these
people can actually go so they can you to onthevolleyapparel.com
onthevolleyapparel.com
and just put in the search engine History Hyenas, right?
Right. Go to their Tees, Mens,
History Hyenas.
Cracked open, cleaned out.
That's my favorite shirt. The Cocoa?
Yeah. No Fumes
and the Papa's Witch Hazel.
Papa's Witch Hazel.
Us as the History Hyenas, do we have to just go buy them like everybody else i'll talk to elvis
yeah yeah let's get let we need it because we need them for all i would like at least
some free ones to give to people and promotion yeah we need them we should buy we got to buy
a bulk of text have you texted elvis yeah i'm gonna text because you know because i feel like
you have to do it now because make no mistake, I'm German. I'm efficient.
I'm telling you to just fucking get do it right now.
We're on the podcast right now.
Yeah.
OK, sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you're talking about German.
You guys don't stop.
You want to organize everything.
Yeah, I'm German.
I'm efficient.
I'm telling you to do it right now because or else your fucking Greek brain is just going
to float away and you're going to start looking up tranny porn and fucking, you know, looking
at the sky and shit. So we
need Elvis. Is he Mexican? He's Mexican.
So we need Elvis. We need
Elvis to fucking start making those t-shirts
or else I'm going to make some calls.
So we'll call him as soon as we get off.
Call him as soon as we get off. So now let's call
do we have a phone number lined
up? Yep. Let's call $25
member. who is this
we're going to call
I think it's
Jason Lee the one you were talking about
Jason Lee the only one that wasn't called
was not safe over 90 degrees
Jason yeah that's not
safe over 90 degrees Jason it's probably him
because he's an eastern hemi
okay let's call him up
I don't know if this kid even got home alive.
I mean, the kid was bagged up.
So we're actually calling him now.
Yeah.
Oh, man, that's great.
I'm excited to actually hear about this guy
because I heard all about him.
And I got a video you sent me of him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Zach, you doing jujitsu now?
Jujitsu, Brazilian jujitsu.
It's awesome.
Yeah. How's awesome.
How's rapping going?
Good. My song hit 6,000 plays.
Chris actually helped me get a lot of plays the first time.
I'll share it too.
How come you didn't send it to me? I'll send it to you.
You might have not answered.
No, I didn't get it.
I'm sending it right now.
Where did you send it? You texted it or you
texted it? Yeah. What's it called?
So people
raise the bar and
his name is not tattoo fingers or ISIS.
What's your rap name?
Hello. Hey,
what's up? This is Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas
and Venetia.
Holy shit. What's up, guys? What's up? This is Chris DiStefano and Yanis Papas And Venetia Holy shit, what's up guys?
What's up? How you doing?
Is this Jason from San Diego?
You can hear him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, can you hear me?
Yeah, we can hear you cuz, did you get home alright?
Oh, it's just dandy, it's all good Well, thanks for making the women feel uncomfortable
And for reigniting Sergio's cocaine habit in San Diego.
You're welcome.
You're a Canadian kid.
Did you come all the way down to San Diego
to see Chrissy Greenlights?
100% on it.
What's up? What's up, dude?
I got a video of you about 3 in the morning
doing blow with Sergio.
Are you sure
it's me or not another agent?
Well, that's what Chris, he said it was you, but then I realized
he just thinks all Eastern Hemis look alike.
Yeah.
He's not, you know, can't blame him.
He's a crazy green light.
Did you have a good time with me and Serge in San Diego?
I was saying on the podcast, singing your praises
how much I really appreciate you being a fan.
Hey, same here,
because I couldn't ask
anything better. It was so sweet.
I'm sorry it's taken six months to finally
give you a call. I just had a situation with the mother.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Credit card bill. Yeah. So what are you
doing now?
People know exactly
how much he owes on his credit card.
I'm unemployed.
Yeah, you're unemployed.
Well, you're a consultant, right?
All day breakfast.
That's right.
So that just translates into your failure in your agent's parent's eyes.
100%.
That's why, you know, on behalf of the patron, I had to conceal my identity.
You know, I probably need to get a corporate job at some point.
Now, cuz, listen, we're almost at the Hey Bird time limit.
I just wanted you to crack anything open and clean something out in San Diego.
Did you just eat pizza alone?
No, not last weekend.
Yeah, I know.
We did that last night when we saw you.
Then we went back and then me and Serge didn't do anything on Sunday.
So it was great, man.
I love it.
Just cruising for guys.
Yeah, dude. Cruising for cock. That's what we did. We appreciate it.
You know, you know me. Well, you were there.
You saw me spin the wheel a little bit and yeah, it turned out, you know,
not good. So Jason,
are you spreading the word to your friends up in Calgary about the history
hyenas?
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.
All right. Cause we're going to call you on next month,
but probably I guess next year.
You're a good kid thank you so much thanks for giving us um your money regardless yeah we appreciate it love you he's a i like he's a great kid got a good sense of humor like i i i liked
having him around in san diego for a couple for an hour or two yeah it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't
a thing where i was like get away away from me. Right. You know.
So he was fun. He was. Yeah, it wasn't bad.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then
I think he did Blizzy and then he got a little wild.
It's what it is. Yeah. S-Low-K-S.
But did you hear the part when he quoted exactly
how much you owe on your credit card bill? It just made me
realize how much of a wild kid you are. Yeah.
That on this podcast, people know. I said that
publicly. You've said that publicly. Yeah.
Yeah. People like there's people that message me, but like, I can't believe you just I can't believe you said that publicly you've said that publicly yeah yeah people like
there's people that message me but like i can't believe you just i can't believe you said that
or that and i'm like i don't know what you're talking about and they'll be and then they'll
start accusing me they'll be like oh shut up you know exactly what you say i'm like no but the
truth is i don't you black out i just say shit and people have been like i can't believe you
said that and i'm like said what and then they'll play me a clip and i'm like wow as a listener do
you feel like he's wild when you listen? Oh yeah, definitely.
We are very wild. But is it
entertaining for you? Oh, I'm
in the streets like laughing
to myself with my ear head.
That's great. Good, see? Do you wear earbuds
or do you wear a black
teenager headphones
like Hey Bird? Yeah, like the Airpods.
Oh yeah, Hey Bird looks like he's making
the AirPods. Yeah.
Alright, who do we got? We're going nora's cupcakes oh nora's cupcakes they made
the hyena didn't they met oh they messaged us they wanted to bring us cakes and we never responded
these are our girls let's call them up they were one of like our original sponsors yeah well now
well they were never our sponsors now if they want to be a sponsor they're gonna have to cough up 400
extra more bucks they should have got in on the ground floor.
We love it. It's because I mean, listen,
we're giving them free promo like this. Now we're just giving away.
We're just giving away where you can get
free promo without joining a 500.
Just join a 25 and we'll have to
say your name.
Because we
haven't really thought this out. Yeah, well, that's why we need
a woman here to organize. Oh, is this
cupcakes? Yeah. Can we just get your real why we need a woman here to organize this shit. Is this Laura's Cupcakes?
Yeah, can we just get your real name?
Because we're promoting your business for free.
Hello?
This is Chris DiStefano.
I'm your host, Pompous History Hyenas.
You're on with the hyenas.
How you doing?
We miss you, girls.
We need another cake.
We miss you, too.
I love you.
When can you come down and bring us another cake?
We can bring you another cake anytime you want.
Yeah, but this time we need a new design.
Now, what do you want for this time time I just want a cake made out of Mike
Mush's face
if you could just make us a cake that's exactly
Mike Emoji Face's face that would be
a cake that's what
Mike Emoji Face do you know I knew
have you been listening to the recent episodes
Mike Emoji Face
yes Emoji Face yeah we could
probably figure that out yeah so Mike Emoji Face? Yes, Emoji Face. Yeah, we could probably figure that out.
Yeah, so Mike Emoji Face, Mike Suarez.
If you could just make a cake with his
face and then us throwing that face
over a wall, that would be great.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you could just make a cake
that's a wall and then just half of his face
as Humpy Ducky just sitting.
I'm in a bar. Hold on. I can't hear you.
She's in a bar. Oh, you're in a bar?
She's a Connecticut girl. I think Nora Cupcakes
is in Connecticut. God, they're getting
a free promo.
You guys
are screwed in kids.
Thank you.
We love that cake the last time.
But I'm a kid who throws hands now, so you're going to have to give me
a sugar-free cake or something that's keto-friendly. Yeah.
Or you could just wait for a situation
with the mother and he'll go into a fucking
sweets dive. Yeah. Okay.
That's probably a better option and I feel like
that would happen relatively often, so
we're good. Yeah. We're good for sure, he will. So, when
do you think he can come down?
Yeah, just let us know.
We'll bring it down. Emoji face, we got it.
Yeah. Alright. Emoji face and then some cupcakes so come
down any Monday just message us and
we really truthfully you guys are one of our
original fans and
sponsors so we really appreciate
you guys being a part of our Patreon from the beginning
thank you well you bring joy
into our lives every week so thank you
thank you so much I appreciate it
a lot I'm here for
a good time not a long time.
The situation with the mother is under control, but the minute
it goes back out of control, I will kill myself.
Thank you so much. The minute it goes back
out of control, he will be ordering a
big cake from you.
Okay. Sounds good. All right. Love you.
Thank you.
Let's go three more.
I'm happy you're here, Vinatia. Thank you.
Thank you for having me
once I saw
dude her message was so organized
well thought out she's a smart girl
she was like I will help you with this this this and this
and this and now Frank's and Bean's are trying
to say that they're going to be on it but we know what's going to happen next week
yeah we're going to be calling Venetia
and be like you know what yeah you got to do all
this yeah because my emoji face
is somewhere with Bobby yeah and. And Tattoo Fingers
is who the hell knows what fucking rap
dungeon he's in right now. It's going to just get to the point
where like, it's just the podcast. It's me,
Giannis and Venetia. It's what's
going to happen. She's pressing the Weishan Sheehan button.
She's going to be breathing heavy. She's going to be
doing everything. She's going to get tattoos on her fingers.
Yeah. She's just going to become Zach and
Mike. And then that's her new job. And we're going
to give her about 300 a week. That's what it is. you know what the problem is with franks and beans here is they're
both good they're both good on the cast that's the thing so they've gotten arrogant because
fucking tattoo fingers that guy says no yeah he knows we can't do without him yeah because i'm
just i'm getting a little sweet craving so i got a peanut butter and jelly raw oatmeal go ahead
i love how you're just eating in the studio on the
cast yeah i don't care because honestly who's gonna stop me i'll punch fucking bobby and watch
the shorts come down like mike tyson's punch on and i'll throw gnome out the fucking window and
make him into a sausage so it doesn't fucking matter yeah just do it eat it it just doesn't
matter okay yeah i just got yeah go ahead i don't want to get anything on my spin forest hill shirt
yeah if you wear that shirt one more day in a row, I'm going to do things to you physically. Yeah, call him Bailey Fessler.
Oh, Bailey Fessler. Yeah, she makes
posters
for our show. So thank you, Bailey.
Well, I just got one thing to say to you about vitamins.
It's not proven that they do
anything. It could just be placebo.
Because if you say that one more time, I'm going to
hit you with a clean left hook.
Who are we calling?
Bailey Fessler. She's great.
Oh, we fucked her.
Yeah.
She's made some posters for us.
How funny would it be
if we just had Venetia talk?
Just say,
it's the history hyena.
No, just say,
just say,
hey, this is Chris DiStefano.
I got a sex change.
Yeah.
Cuz, you're a Sphinx cat.
I'm a Sphinx cat?
Hey, what's up?
This is Billy.
We're calling someone else. We're calling the wrong person up? This is Billy. We're calling someone else.
We're calling the wrong person.
It's everybody.
It's everybody.
Call Billy.
Cuts.
Make no mistake.
Mike's finger slipped because he's got some fucking croissant butter on it.
It's just what it is.
Because, yeah, we're going to keep a little.
That was the right number, but it gave us Billy.
All right.
It wasn't the right number.
He's just lying.
It wasn't the right number.
Mike's a very smart kid as well.
He is a smart kid.
But we're going to keep a Vanity scoreboard.
And every time the boys get a minus one, she's going to get a plus one. Yeah. It's what it is. That is a smart kid. But we're going to keep a Vanitya scoreboard and every time the boys get a
minus one, she's going to get a plus one.
That was a minus one for the boys.
We should have to go to patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys and tell us who do you want
to keep, who do you want to lose?
Vanitya, Mike or Zach?
One's got to go. We're going to eliminate
one every week.
See you later, guys.
That was Billy Hessling. You're right.
I called the right number to the wrong person.
Don't worry.
We're going to call...
Let's do one more because we're about an hour 20 in.
Eric, suck my dick, babe. Bernal.
Did you like that episode? Suck my dick, babe?
You didn't get to hear it probably because it's not out yet.
Yeah, please don't listen to that one.
That's the Christina Hutchinson from... Yeah,'s not out yet. Yeah, please don't listen to that one. That's the
Christina Hutchinson from... That one's out.
Yeah, it's out now. Guys We Fuck Podcast.
Yeah, that one
has caused a little situation with the mother.
I play a character
on the show. That's not really who I am.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's... It's all a character.
It's not real. He's actually a good Catholic kid
When's the last time
You got ashes on your forehead?
Ashes?
I haven't gotten in a while
But I went to church
A couple weekends ago
Can I actually get a real water?
You want a water?
Yeah, I need a water
Would you like a water?
You want a water?
I would like a water
Hello?
Hey, hello
Who is this?
This is Eric
Suck my dick, babe
Bernard
Oh, yeah
Suck my dick, babe
You know who it is
It's fucking Chrissy D and Yanni P.
Thank you so much
for your service. Can I get a water?
Oh, that water's for you. Yeah.
What's going on? What are you doing?
What are you doing, babe?
Just on my day off, babe. Just cracked open
and cleaned out a few shorties yesterday.
Yeah, I probably got syphilis like you.
Nice little Sunday. Call that Sunday brunch.
Call that spin the wheel Sunday.
Yeah.
Spin the wheel Sunday.
And just one, I just got to tell you guys one thing.
Yes.
Your mom's a tooth.
Yeah.
He almost made me spit out my water.
Yeah, he almost made Yanni spit out his water.
This kid might be the, he's starting off as the best phone call we've ever done.
Eric sucked my dick paper.
Now, let me ask you a question.
What's your favorite episode
of the party so far?
Or favorite moment from the party?
I like every time that there's a female guest, you're definitely
trying to crack them open and clean them out.
Don't say that!
And then how your demeanor just fucking
changes and you do that little, I'm cute, sexy.
Yeah, he noticed it too.
You're a fucking piece of shit because
there's a female guest in the studio right now
trying to crack open and clean out you fucking car block.
Yeah, he noticed it too
because you do change a little bit.
I didn't change in front of her.
No, because you know there's no chance because of the Greek father
and the situation with the mother.
No, no, no. Who don't notice it, I think.
Yeah, Chrissy doesn't notice it.
Your Chrissy go is just what it is.
My favorite fucking episode is Nero though.
That shit is,
that's one of my favorite.
Nero,
yeah.
I listen to it twice a day.
Wow.
Yeah.
He was a wild kid,
Nero.
Yeah.
Now,
uh,
you may have the funniest name of all time.
Suck my dick,
babe.
Yeah.
Suck my dick,
babe.
Yeah.
Have you tried,
have you tried that on a,
on a two yet?
Suck my dick,
babe.
I actually sent you guys
a DM. I sent that.
I told the girl, hey, I can't wait to crack you open and clean
you out. And she goes, I love it when you say
talk shit like that. And she has no clue.
I stole that shit. Yeah, that was that.
I remember that. You're a Patreon member. That's what you're
paying for. You can take all our lines and pass them
as your own. No problem. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The whole I hate insecure men used it
last week fucking worked like a charm listen babe we've reached the hey bird time limit so we just
want to say thank you so much thank you so much for your service and we're going to call you in
another month so you know what that means that means about four or five months but you will get
a call eventually no now we're organized no thank you we're organized now we have a new woman on the
show her name is venetia venetia her name is Venetia. Venetia. Her name is Venetia. And she can be my wife.
You got a problem with the mother.
I got a situation with the mother.
Yeah.
But that's for another episode.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll see you in Phoenix, Chris.
And got it.
Let me know when you're in Phoenix.
Absolutely, brother.
Thank you.
Keep spreading the word.
Make more hyenas.
Tell your friends.
Yeah. Yeah!
Guys, he was the best phone call.
We're ending on him. We're not doing any more phone calls.
Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
YanisPapas.net
Is the site up yet?
The site's not up yet.
The site's still not up and running. Yanis has got a problem.
I got a situation with...
Yanis got a situation with the Korea. I got a situation with I got a situation. Giannis got a situation with the career.
I got a situation with the career right now.
Giannis got a situation with the career.
I got a little situation with the career.
I'll have it up soon.
Just go to my Twitter.
Yeah, you can go to christycomedy.com for all my show dates.
I got a lot of dates coming up.
I got Ohio.
I got Clusterfest in San Francisco, London, Soho Theater.
You guys can meet Vidura Rajpaska.
Then I got shows at The Stand in Newcastle, England, and then Zany's Nashville and Jimmy
Kimmel's Comedy Club in Las Vegas all in June and July.
Christycomedy.com for tickets.
You guys got to come out and see my shows and support me because the rent has went up.
The child support has went up.
I got a situation with the mother.
Yeah, I'll be in Miami Improv June 14th and 15th.
So check that out.
Yeah, it's what it is. Sergio. Sergio will be there. Yeah, Blizzy be in the Miami Improv June 14th and 15th. So check that out. Yeah, it's what it is.
Sergio will be there.
So thank you so much.
V, thank you for being for your first
episode. Did you have a good time with us? I did.
Thank you so much for, you know,
having me. Thank you. I'm excited
about the changes, the organization.
Absolutely. Yeah, and for free Wednesday, I'd love
to get a water.
Well, we're excited to have you on it's gonna definitely keep Frank
and Beans on their toes yeah Frank and Beans are on
their toes thank you Mike for not falling
asleep and thank you Zach
for getting the
sound effects half an hour into the episode ស្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រូវតែលាប់ពីប្រ� Thank you. Thanks for watching!