History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 79 - Jake Lingle was WILD!

Episode Date: July 14, 2019

The boys discuss Jake Lingle and things get wild!! Who is Jake Lingle? You don’t want to miss who this wild kid was. Wild tale! Alfred "Jake" Lingle, Jr. was an American reporter for the Chicago Tri...bune. He was shot dead gangland-style in the underpass leading to the Illinois Central Randolph Street station on the afternoon on June 9, 1930, as dozens of people watched. The man convicted of the murder was German-American mob associate Leo Vincent Brothers.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. Well, hello, hyenas. It is the history, hyenas. Four Guys Venetia come back from Greece soon. Comeenas. Four guys, Venetia. Come back from Greece soon. Come back. I want to crack you open. Yeah, we're just too many guys. That's just four guys in here. But you know what? We're diverse.
Starting point is 00:00:54 We're missing a girl. They're almost there. Yeah, we're fucking we're happy. We're ready to go. We just missed Venetia. We need a girl in here to fulfill our fucking quota. Yeah, I need a woman. Yeah. Today is going to be a wild, wild podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Holy shit, yeah. Yeah, it's going to be wild. I shit my pants on the way to Atlantic City. Yeah, you did. And I called Chrissy and I said, am I having a heart attack? I was in full FF mode on my way to Atlantic City. Cuz, you called me and told me that you took a shit in your pants and you asked me, you were on Bluetooth
Starting point is 00:01:27 and you said, is anyone in the car? And I said no. And there were three people in the car. And then you started spilling your beans to me. You're a liar. You're a dirty liar. Yeah, you told me. Yeah, and my mother, if my mother listens to the podcast, she's very upset that I lied. I'm sorry, mom. That's the least that he's done. Does she still go by
Starting point is 00:01:44 Mrs. DeStefano? She does still go by Mrs. DeStefano she does still go by Mrs. DeStefano or is she just Miss Kerner no she wants to go by Mrs. DeStefano because she didn't want me to have a different last name than her she didn't want kids to ask questions in school but now I'm in my mid 30s and she still hasn't changed her last name everything that woman has done
Starting point is 00:02:00 she's done for her son everything she's done she's done for her son and she's also got a nice little house waiting for you in ridgewood uh and she doesn't fully understand gentrification but she does know that the values come up because a lot of jews have stopped by uh with yarmulkes on and said that they will pay her in cash for that building yeah hasidic jews they come with notes and they are sort of like handwritten notes and they said we'll buy this house in cash yeah and then uh and then she doesn't know what to do so i what i do is i just i call she called me she says what am i supposed to do you know should i should i let them buy the money and i said no let them buy the house no i
Starting point is 00:02:32 said no i said you next time they fucking show up like that you just you get away shark sheen button ready yeah i said i can see it in your face i know know it's coming. You just get the fucking fire extinguisher and fucking put out the dew flames. Way song she ain't. La Fuente. Yeah, it's a character piece. Yeah, La Fuente. Way song she ain't. Yeah, anyone who knocks on your door and says, you know, what is a nice building you have here that can pay you in cash?
Starting point is 00:02:58 Those kids are screwed in. Screwed in. No, no, no. And they're trying to make a screwed in move. No, my mom said that she will eventually sell, but she wants me to handle it. Well, let me ask you a question. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:11 When your mom and I decide that they want to sell a building, they want to sell the DiStefano household. What was Victor's last name? Molina. Molina slash DiStefano house. How do you slice the house up up is it on the fifth or sixth step yeah where does the where does the split who has more square footage is it on the fifth and a
Starting point is 00:03:34 half step is it above the fifth or sixth step six um cuz i don't yeah i think it's probably gonna be above the sixth step um will be my territory but then we're gonna have to figure out because like i'm gonna want you, my part of the house. And then, yeah, my cousins. Yeah, that's going to be a weird thing. How we're going to. Here's my question. We're going to split this up.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Yeah. You haven't thought about it yet. And that's why I'm bringing it up because I'm trying to help you and your family. Yeah. I want to avoid problems down the line. So here's my question. Yeah. On what step would you be able to say and be accurate?
Starting point is 00:04:06 Get out of my house. And then when I step one step down, am I out officially of your house? What am I off your property? What are you off? Oh yeah. What am I at a Lynn's house? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:16 I would say the neutrals. Yeah. On the neutrals, I would say below the fifth step. I think we need to, we need to have a family meeting and we need to designate where the UN line of division is and which steps belong to Eileen and which steps belong to Lynn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I agree. Let's do that. We got to get, cause that's never been settled. Yeah. Cause, but you know, I probably think though,
Starting point is 00:04:38 if my mother's, if I sold that house and all that money that I would get, I would put money into Lila's college fund. And then I probably would just spend it. The rest on toots. Yeah. I think that's money that I would get. I would put money into Lila's college fund and then I probably would just spend it the rest on toots. Yeah, I think that's just what you would do. It's just what it was. I just take toots out every night for drinks and burgers, not listen to what they're telling me. I'm just trying to touch their tits in the salty dog.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Character piece, a lot of 14. A bar in Bay Ridge. Yeah, no, what we would like to say on this podcast is any of the things that you hear are not based on real events. They are caricaturizations of our imagination. If anything sounds similar, it's pure coincidence.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Let me just tell the people. Let me tell them. I went on a date the other night with an Eastern Hemi. Half Eastern Hemi. Half Eastern Hemi, half Eastern Hemi. And she actually is her family is Japanese. And her grandparents met in an intern internment camps in an internment camp during during World War Two, when the Japanese unfortunately provoked the good guys. And and and anyway, she went on a date and we had a lovely time. And then she tells me 10 minutes into the date that the first episode of history ahina she's ever listened to was pearl harbor was wild
Starting point is 00:05:48 where i said that i would put her ancestors in a microwave look ass okay but she said you were just joking we were just joking we were just joking but you know what she said to me she's like i can tell that you guys are just having a good time and it's funny she's like i couldn't laugh at the japanese stuff because i am japanese she was like but it was pretty funny to hear about it from you know that point from a few from a few of the good guys yeah because i said listen because the thing is is like it's like they know everybody makes mistakes you know it's like it's like listen us we shouldn't have dropped a nuclear bomb on your country absolutely not that was wrong that was 100 i'm gonna say maybe maybe yeah maybe yeah no that was thank you yeah it's just
Starting point is 00:06:27 what it is yeah no we shouldn't have turned your country into a lean cuisine that was bad maybe maybe but you as a japanese shouldn't have raped the entire country of china you should have done that let's not just we can't just skip over that little fact that most people skip over yeah it's like and we covered it last episode yeah just real quick, it's like. And we covered it last episode. Yeah, just real quick. Yeah, it's like I'm not saying, you know, right now we're at a place where it's like we all love everybody and everything's all cool. But it's like there's two sides to every story. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:53 OK. And Chris wants the lunch special. Yeah, I want the lunch. Give me a bento box. Give me a bento box. And make no mistake, that girl who I went on a date with, I'm obviously would never mention your name, but you're a new listener to the podcast. You're going to get cracked open.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Here's the thing. Japanese culture is beautiful. We love all these things that happen in history. Horrible things. Yeah. Thank God we've moved past it. And that's why we're making jokes about it. Everybody.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yeah. Just don't. But at the end of the day, you know what you did. I'm just saying, you know, just listen, if you're,
Starting point is 00:07:21 if you're upset about our last podcast and you're from Japanese, your Japanese heritage, just put your fucking hair up in about our last podcast and you're from Japanese heritage, just put your fucking hair up in a bun with two chopsticks and fucking go take a walk. Wei Zhongzhen. Wei Zhongzhen. Chris, you can't be, you can't
Starting point is 00:07:34 stay on the rails. I was just kidding. I mean, you're on this and you just take hard right turns. I don't know where you're going. I was just kidding. Cause just fucking yeah. Just go paint your face with fucking
Starting point is 00:07:51 powdered donuts. The internment camps were fucked up because we just put American citizens there. Yeah, but no, we had to put them on hold just to make sure. Her parents met at an internment camp. That's game right there. Were they really
Starting point is 00:08:10 literally in an internment camp in America? No, yeah, yeah. Because one of them was Italian. No, no, yeah, but that was the other side of the family. They left the family. They left a couple of weeks before Hiroshima and they got out and they came from Japan. While Japan was at an active war with the U.S., the U.S. let them in. um they left a couple of weeks before hiroshima uh and they got out and they came from japan while
Starting point is 00:08:25 japan was at an active war with the u.s the u.s let them in yeah the u.s let them in but they had to go to the internment camps you know you had to you couldn't just like let them in they had to kind of answer a few questions you know you had to be on hold a little bit i think probably in what san francisco is that where the internment camps were yeah yeah the big one they met at whatever the big one was but yeah no so i'm happy that uh i'm happy that that it all worked out and she's you know what she's a japanese broad half japanese half italian but she said she loves cooking italian food so that's interesting absolutely yeah that's interesting look sushi's delicious yeah japanese coach is beautiful yeah she's great we're making light of a lot of this stuff that's happened in the past we're just kidding yeah we're just joking
Starting point is 00:09:00 but you know yeah at the end of the day, like, again, just repeat one last time. Yeah. The Japanese did rape China. Absolutely. And you did some bad things and you know what you did. And listen, and obviously now there's obviously that was in the past and that was brutal. But there's new enemies now. And obviously our new enemies now are anybody from the Middle East and the women's U.S. national team. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's just what it is. Megan Rapinoe and anybody named Osama is just a fucking enemy. Yeah, look, Japanese are our friends now, actually. Yeah, they're our friends. Yeah, I was just kidding. It's just what it is. Yeah, I was just kidding. No, shout out to the U.S. women's national team, even though, you know, fucking fuck you.
Starting point is 00:09:38 You're not invited to the White House anyway. Because I'm going to be in San Diego with Mike Emoji Face. Really? San Antonio. San Antonio. What did I just call it? San Diego with Mike. Mike. Mike Emoji Face is really San Antonio. San Antonio. What I just call it. San Diego. So I mean, I just don't. I got early onset.
Starting point is 00:09:51 I just we just don't care about the state of Texas in New York enough. Yeah. And the state of Texas is a big part of the United States. It's a big. Yeah. We got to start giving it more respect. They try. They keep trying to succeed.
Starting point is 00:10:00 They don't want to be part of the United States. I want to just be their own fucking. I support them. Do you think that we should let them succeed? Yeah. They shouldn't have to be part of the United States. They want to just be their own fucking... I support them. Do you think that we should let them secede? Texas? Yeah. If they want to secede, they shouldn't have to be exposed to this cuckery anymore. What are we going to do? Yeah. Honestly, man, if they don't...
Starting point is 00:10:13 Why make anybody stay? You don't want to be a part of us? Yeah. Let them go. Then it's fine. Go do whatever you need to do. The country will stop at fucking Mississippi. I mean, nobody cares about any other part of the country besides the northeast anyway, so it's like, let's just, let's stop. We can run this whole operation if we just had New York. Let's be honest. Let's just be crystal
Starting point is 00:10:30 clear about that. We need Boston, too, because that's where Harvard and MIT is. Yeah, we need that. The smart kids are up there. Let's be honest. Nobody's going to fucking, nobody's going to lose their fucking minds if we lost Austin, Texas. Nobody really cares. Nobody really cares. We make believe, we play pretend. Oh, it's a fun new batch of shit. Shut the fuck up yeah it's about new york yeah and nobody else really cares yeah new york
Starting point is 00:10:49 and new jersey just make whatever belt buckles you make down there and just send them up to canal street yeah just do whatever you got to send your soldiers you got to send unfortunately your kids are the ones that want to go to war because you know but you're protecting the empire state building that's what you're doing it's all your protectors empire state building and yankee stadium that's what you're protecting so when colby fucking sawyer goes to war and he's like iraq i'm gonna hit these motherfuckers for freedom for trump it's like yeah go do what you need to do the truth of the situation is you're just keeping the fucking subway prices down and you're keeping fucking yankees and mets tickets prices at a at a normal rate 100 and also the other cool cities
Starting point is 00:11:23 let's let's just be crystal clear. Los Angeles is basically a colony in New York. It was founded by New Yorkers. Miami was founded by New Yorkers. And Chicago, you're just a clean version of New York and your most famous gangster was born in New York and then he went over there and got syphilis like a man. Yeah. Al Capone.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yeah. Yeah. Can you imagine being Frank Sinatra? Can you imagine being Frank Sinatra? Could you imagine being Frank Sinatra? Could you imagine walking into a room? Imagine being Frank Sinatra. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:11:53 How fucking wild must that have felt like to walk into a room and just say to yourself for one second, I'm Frank Sinatra. I'm fucking Frank Sinatra. I'm Frankie Blue Eyes. Yeah. Every woman in here wantsants to suck my dick Yeah And every guy
Starting point is 00:12:07 Or I would Cause would you let Frankie clean you out 100% Look at that Absolutely I'm in baby blue eyes Look at that
Starting point is 00:12:14 Absolutely I'd fucking sit in that lap forever Cause I was just kidding About the obviously Whole New York thing Of course we need The whole United States
Starting point is 00:12:20 I was just kidding Cause I want to go to Alaska You do right I want to take a fucking I want to go I want to take a flight To Vancouver Yeah And I want to And I want to go to Alaska. You do, right? I want to take a fucking I want to go. I want to take a flight to Vancouver and I want to walk around Vancouver for a couple of days and I want to take
Starting point is 00:12:30 a cruise to fucking Alaska from Vancouver. That's what I want to do. Should we do that? Should we set that up? If anybody out there, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Be a part of the matriarchy. If any of our matriarchy members or non-matriarchy members, if you have any, if you know any like how we should price this out and how we should do this.
Starting point is 00:12:47 I want to do Vancouver to Alaska cruise. Yeah. And we also want a cake in the shape of a hyena pseudo penis. Yeah. If we could get a cake in the shape of a hyena pseudo penis, that'd be fucking awesome. You remember that when you put that out and it happened? Because what is the old expression? Ask the universe and the universe provides.
Starting point is 00:13:03 The universe shall provide. Chrissy D puts it out there and somehow we actually got, we're not going to mention their name anymore because they should be a corporate sponsor the fuck amount of times we know. Norris Cupcakes? Yeah, Norris Cupcakes. They're just a friend of the podcast, so they get a free message. But you know,
Starting point is 00:13:17 we just need one fan in Alaska. This is what, Chrissy D's just put out an APB. Do we have a fan from Alaska listening to this podcast? Identify yourself in our DMs, on Instagram, on Twitter, or if you're a non-tude
Starting point is 00:13:34 over at patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you're listening to this podcast and you're not listening to it on Thursday on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, just know you're taking food out of Chris's baby's mouth. Yeah know you're taking food out of Chris's baby's mouth. Yeah. You're taking food out of my fucking baby's mouth and my baby's mom is mom's
Starting point is 00:13:50 mouth and my baby's mom is mom is new boyfriend's mouth. We all worked out today. Yeah. And you're also taking food out of fucking emoji faces, divorce settlement. Yeah. Kid's got to pay a lawyer. He's trying to figure out what to do.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Why are you even in court? What's your wife going to take from you? What can your wife take? Oh, nothing. Your anime collection? No, we're just making it official. Just making it amicable. And you don't have any kids, right? No. Yeah. Do you want one? I'll fuck you right in the ass right now.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Do you got like figurines and stuff that she's trying to get a hold? She wants it because they're like worth something and she's trying to hold on to them? i picture your room in austin kind of looks like there's just like a lot of toys in in wrappers that haven't been touched untouched enough like i bet you i can't tell the difference between your room in san antonio and my baby mama's nine-year-old son's room right now it's probably the same is that true kind of room yeah uh i probably have more because you're a handsome mikey's a handsome kid actually especially if he's got that beard you want to get this lap
Starting point is 00:14:50 because the other night you know what i did because you know my love sack you know because if we do a live podcast we're gonna do it the whole thing with you and mike's lap yeah 100 he's gonna be the chair he's just gonna be sitting in style and you're just gonna sit in his lap i'm gonna sit in isis's lap and it's just what it is yeah well yesterday yesterday i um i was on the kfc uh live podcast at caroline's and dan soda was the guest and wasn't a chair for him so he sat in my lap i just said danny sit here and then he sat in my lap till i got a chair did you go pewing i went pewing a little bit did you get a creeper you know what i've been doing i know it's gonna sound funny but spit in the wheel really yeah spit in the wheel i unzipped my You know what I've been doing? I know it's going to sound funny. Spinning the wheel? Yeah, spinning the wheel.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I unzipped my love sack and I've been sleeping inside my love sack. Why have you been doing that, cuz? Instead of on top of it, I've just been sleeping in it. Why have you been crawling in the love sack, cuz? You want to get back into the womb? You're a baby. Were you sucking your thumb in there, too? Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:15:43 It just made me feel good to unzip my love sack and just sleep in it like it's a sleeping bag. Why are you doing that? I don't know, but I feel like I literally woke up this morning because i have a bed i mean i have a full bed you got a full bed and a full apartment i slept inside my love sack last night in the middle of the living room floor for no reason watching sports center let me just be crystal clear with the fans of our podcast and the new people who are tuning in right now in the future yeah okay there's one thing that needs to be done for the United States of America. Yeah. And that is you need to be put into a fucking Volvo.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Yeah. Family van. Yeah. Okay. Lie to and say, we're going to a minor league baseball game in upstate New York. Yeah. And they got dipping dots there.
Starting point is 00:16:18 So I'm definitely in. Yeah. I got a black and white cookie in there for you to be happy. And I'm putting on Whitney Houston and we're laughing. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I'm, I'm Houston and we're laughing. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I'm, I'm driving you up and I got a fucking old school six shooter in my fucking
Starting point is 00:16:30 jeans in the back. And I take a stop and book Kipsey. Cause I say, I need to take a piss. And I said, come out with me. This is my favorite rest stop. And you're going to go,
Starting point is 00:16:39 okay, yeah, there's no rest up here. What do you mean? I'm going to say, I got it in a black and white cookie for you, Chrissy. You know, did you just tell the people you were sleeping in a love sack you just opened your
Starting point is 00:16:48 love sack and crawled in it for no reason and you're gonna go yeah and i'm gonna go you know what that's against the laws of this great country you need to be put down for crimes against humanity and then i'm gonna fucking walk you up a hill and squeeze a bullet into the back of that big head cuz yeah but you need to be put down cuz do you think that do you think a bullet into the back of that big head, cuz. Yeah, but you need to be put down! Cuz, do you think that do you think one bullet to the back of the head would be enough? You might have to put two or three in there. The first bullet might get stuck in the back of the cranium. Yeah, I think
Starting point is 00:17:13 I think the first bullet's just gonna make a noise. It's gonna be similar to pewing, but it sounds like when you, you know, when you shoot a bullet into a metal door. Yeah. It's just gonna bing! Cuz you got a big fucking head. I got a big fucking head, cuz, and by the way, I'm back eating red meat again. I've had a couple of cheeseburgers the last couple of days and I feel good.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Yeah. Because I hadn't eaten red meat for about a year. Yeah. For no reason. Because I went to Bobby Flay's Steakhouse in Atlantic City. Oh yeah? I've had enough of Atlantic City. Yeah. I've had enough of Atlantic City can go. Yeah. Atlantic City, you know, it's a beautiful city. I would put Paris 1, New York 2, Atlantic City 3. Yeah. Yeah. Atlantic City, you know, it's a beautiful city. I would put Paris 1,
Starting point is 00:17:46 New York 2, Atlantic City 3. Yeah. Yeah. It's the bronze medal of beautiful cities. It's just a place if there was, if Las Vegas had a special needs Stamos brother, it's special needs Stamos for Vegas.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Yeah. It's what it is. It's what it is. John Stamos is Vegas and AC's me. Yeah. And it's loquace. It's es loquace or es loquace. Because we got to get rid of Atlantic City. I'm just done. How was the sandwich shop though? I saw that you and Paul Verzi went. It's good.
Starting point is 00:18:19 But it's like, it's just a sandwich. It's just like a sandwich. Yeah, it's just a sandwich. It's just a fucking the meat's probably like boar's head meat. Whatever it is. Yeah, it's just whatever. They throw a little relish on there. It's nice. sandwich. It's just like a sandwich. Yeah, it's just a sandwich. It's just a fucking, the meat's probably like boar's head meat, whatever it is. Yeah, it's just whatever. They throw a little relish on there. It's nice. The meatballs, I think, are good.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I didn't have that. Paul Verzi had that. Yeah. He said that was great. Yeah. He's a big star, Paul Verzi. He's got a big manager. And so, yeah, we went to the White House,
Starting point is 00:18:42 which is about the only thing to do out there besides going to the outlets. But on the way up, this is what happened. Let me just tell you about my Sunday. Okay. So I woke up. It was like 90 degrees out there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Too hot. Too much. Yeah. And look, the people you're on camera. So we constantly get comments about Chrissy fucking texting. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'll wait for you to finish.
Starting point is 00:19:01 No. I want the people to suffer with me. Okay. Text it. My kid to suffer with me. Okay. Text it. My kid's mom. Yeah. Okay. You got a situation with the mother.
Starting point is 00:19:10 So I woke up Sunday. I knew it was going to be a weird day. I got a lot going on. Cause my dad's, my dad's on the runway. Right. Yeah. Your dad's on the runway.
Starting point is 00:19:20 So I saw Paulie Walnuts who lives in from the Sopranos who lives at Bay Ridge. And he looks like he's on the runway too. Yeah. You're asking what is on the runway mean? Did we tell them? On the runway means you were sitting, you know, when you ever see people sitting waiting for their plane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:33 That means they're close. That means they're waiting for their flight. Their flight's going to heaven. Yeah. Right now when they're close, they're on the, there's runway traffic and they're on the runway. Yeah. And the pilot's just waiting for his turn.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Yeah. But the flight's taken off in about 10, 15 minutes. Yeah. They're close. Yeah. And when I'm on the runway, my flight's going direct to Houston. I'm going to suck a dick in heaven. So I woke up.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I went and got an Eastern Hemi coffee. We're talking about we're in Bay Ridge or we're in Atlantic City right now? We're in Atlantic City. I mean, no, no. This is my Sunday. I'm in Bay Ridge. Okay. This is the start of my Sunday.
Starting point is 00:20:04 So you got Eastern Hemi coffee from 3rd Avenue. Yeah. It's a cold brew. So I had one cold brew. I didn, no, no. This is my Sunday. I'm in Bay Ridge. Okay. This is the start of my Sunday. So you went, you got, I went, I got a tall from third Avenue. It's a cold brew. So I had one cold brew. I didn't eat anything. It was really, really hot out. And yeah. Yeah. So then I went back and I cleaned my entire apartment. Clean my entire apartment. You mean you cleaned it out? No, I just actually cleaned it.
Starting point is 00:20:20 I was like, I just couldn't deal with it being such a mess. I cleaned it. I started fucking the plants. No, then I felt like I wanted which, which, you know, I love my plants. Yeah, you're a kid who, you love a fucking plant. Yeah. Yeah. You're a really, you're a stone cold FF. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Like I can't explain to the people enough. What you're basically saying is I'm a stone cold faggot. Yeah. What a true, just bubbling stone cold FF you are. Yeah. It's just, it's, you've never seen anything like it. Yeah. What a true, just bubbling, stone cold FF you are. It's just, it's, you've never seen anything like it. Yeah. I mean, the kid just likes to go to West Elm and have a day. It's what it is.
Starting point is 00:20:53 It's what it is. All right, go ahead. So, and then, so I cleaned it and then I went back and I got another large iced coffee. Wow. Yeah. And I haven't. Cold brew? Another cold brew.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah. Oh my God. So, and then I didn't eat anything. And then I was like, okay, I got to get on the road and go to Atlantic City. That's like Chernobyl level fucking fumes. That's a lot. Yeah. I just didn't plan my day well.
Starting point is 00:21:12 And I hadn't eaten yet. You didn't eat a croissant? You didn't eat anything? Nothing. And I had a bar. I went and had a bar. You went and had a bar? I had a little water that I mixed in with my Metamucil.
Starting point is 00:21:21 I did a little Metamucil because I'm just trying to have a normal shit. You're taking normal shits now. No, I haven't had a normal shit since 2015, which is concerning. I thought you said you had a normal shit the other day. I've had like three or four over five years. It's concerning. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Yeah. Yeah. So I did my water. I tried to knock out my water and my fiber in one. Water. So I said I can hydrate and also get my fiber by doing a Metamucil. So I went and I drank water. Yeah, drink water. With Metamucil. So I went and I drank water. Yeah, drink water.
Starting point is 00:21:45 With Metamucil. And I did that. And then I had a bar. I had one of my wife's supplement bars. I was just going to say one of your wife's protein bars. Yeah, one of my wife's. She just got her blood work back. They said her blood sugar's low because the girl doesn't eat any sugar.
Starting point is 00:21:57 She doesn't eat any sugar. She did make a hell of a cupcake, though, for Paul Verzi's 4th of July bash. Yeah, and now she says she's incorporating blueberries into her diet. So it's going to be grilled chicken, lettuce, and blueberries. Yeah, there you go. Blueberries are good. And mustard. That's it. High antioxidants. Yeah, and now she says she's incorporating blueberries into her diet. So it's going to be grilled chicken, lettuce and blueberries. Yeah, there you go. Blueberries are good. And mustard. That's it.
Starting point is 00:22:07 High antioxidants. Yeah, that's it. She weighs her food, my wife. Yeah, it's just what it is. You can have just a couple of long days ahead of you. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Yeah, especially because I mentioned her on the podcast and then she's going to yell at us. Yeah, it's just going to be brutal. But you know what? You guys are going to fucking get a house in fucking Northern Canada
Starting point is 00:22:22 and it's going to be fine. You guys are going to just move up to Saskatchewan and just to get the deal you want. And don't worry, you and your wife are going to take the train there. You're going to get used to it. It's like when I asked your wife, I said, how long is the train ride from the house you guys are buying? She said about two and a half hours. I said, you know
Starting point is 00:22:36 what? You might as well just move to the North Pole. If you don't think that when I move up to North Salem, Westchester, that you're not going to buy a house in three months after that, show up on my doorstep and say, cuz I want to stroll. You got another thing coming. Yeah, cuz if you move up to North Salem, I just don't know what am I supposed to do in the neighborhood? Hang out with
Starting point is 00:22:51 Hebert? Hebert? You don't have the headphones? Yeah, hit it again hit it again he hit that right after you said yeah yeah isis sometimes hits with the good timing yeah so yeah where isis is always on the chopping block to get fired and then he
Starting point is 00:23:24 comes back with a nice new sound effect isis is always about to just get fired and then he comes back with a nice new sound effect ISIS is always about to just get fired and then he just makes it stay and now we're giving Mike a hundred bucks and fucking show two we just got no money Venetia please come back yeah we need you back you fucking research
Starting point is 00:23:39 is great we fucking love you the only one who could tell Mike that his designs are shit yeah they suck and we don't, we just, we're making fucking, we're making big decisions without you. We're just giving everybody $100 an episode, Venetia. You have to be our accountant. If you're a Tute and you haven't been to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys,
Starting point is 00:23:56 the community board has basically just become a jihad against ISIS. It's what it is. I mean, every comment is about fucking, they call them, they say they're going to fucking cut his head off. Yeah. They just can't handle ISIS. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys
Starting point is 00:24:12 to see all that fun. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Matriarchy. Join the matriarchy. By the way, we are going to get to our topic of the day pretty soon. But I was just about to say before he hit me with that eh, which hit me hard. It put me down a lot of 14. So, cuz if you don't think
Starting point is 00:24:28 that I haven't noticed that you're a kid from Ridgewood and you did live in Long Island City for a second with the situation with the mother. Growing my hair up, by the way. I know, you look good. You look more wee! Yeah, cuz it's what your mom wants you to do. Does it look alright now? Cuz, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:44 It's looking good. Yeah. You went to Westchester, you just want to change a good thing. I'm not getting a part shaved into my head anymore like a real Jose. It's just what it is. If you go to your bedroom, you know what Chris's wall art is? It's his all-star jersey from the baseball team celebrity all-star game. It's already, cause you're a black kid.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah, 2014, I got that. Cause you wear, you wear jerseys and you match them with your Jordans and your fucking wall art
Starting point is 00:25:14 is a fucking jersey that's framed. You're a black kid. Yeah, my wall art truly is a jersey of mine that's framed and I fucking,
Starting point is 00:25:20 and I tie my Jordans together and I hang it from my ceiling fans. Yeah, cause it's just, it's low-cast at this point. Okay, so where we go? I'm just going to say, if you don't think that I haven't noticed that you moved one block away from me in Park Slope, and then I moved to
Starting point is 00:25:35 Bay Ridge, and then all of a sudden you fucking showed up in Bay Ridge. You don't think that I don't know that you follow me around because you feel comfy wumpy when I'm close? You got another thing coming! I feel comfy because make no mistake, the sec You're the kid who likes to crawl into a beanbag and get comfy. Yeah, I like to get comfy.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Because you want to cut open fucking Mike's stomach with a fucking exacto knife and crawl in. Yeah, I want to fucking crawl into his fucking... He's not even paying attention because his blood sugar is low. Yeah, he looks like Winnie the Pooh. Venetia just texted to say don't forget to remind everybody about the Patreon draft. Oh, Venetia said that?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah. Ask Venetia if what are the chances of her going out on a date with me when she gets back. It's fucking negative four. Ask Venetia if we can call her on Skype right now. Ask her if we can call her on Skype. And what are we supposed to remind them about? Make no mistake, when Mike's texting Venetia. Did you just say it looked like Winnie the Pooh? I said it looked like Winnie the Pooh.
Starting point is 00:26:29 That's because I'm not wearing pants. When Mike is texting Venetia, make no mistake when mike's just saying it looked like woody the pool that's because i'm not wearing pants because when mike is texting vanitya make no mistake he's got a little blood flow going to his junkies he's a little nervous right now he doesn't want to fuck up the text because cuz she crushed his fucking world when she shit on his anime design yeah she just it's just women know how to do that. And then she just she just went. Honestly, she went about her day like she didn't just ruin a man's life. Yeah, she did. She just got on the one train, went uptown. I was like, it's mad love. Yeah, I'm up.
Starting point is 00:26:54 I'm at the diner. Yeah, it's funny how she spit it out. And then she saw how we reacted. And then she tried to soften it. Yeah, but it was just her naturally. She was disgusted. If you're listening to us, please don't like take what we're saying is be like, she tried to soften it yeah but it was just her naturally she was disgusted by the design if you're listening to us please don't like take what we're saying as be like we want you to be honest
Starting point is 00:27:09 on this podcast if you're gonna hurt our feelings and hurt our fucking feelings okay make no mistake it's gonna be fine we can take it because you're gonna be my wife one day yeah and we can take it because our name is not hebert because it's just what it because we got to grow this podcast big. Yeah, because otherwise we're going to lose Venetia. Yeah, she's going to get like a job at Bloomingdale's or whatever other spoiled girl job she's
Starting point is 00:27:33 going to get. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That girl's got family money. Yeah, it's got family money. It's what is she could just fucking pick up and go to Greece for six weeks. It's just what it is. No, we're kidding. We can't. Yeah, real quick. No, we need Venetia because she's the only fucking person here who knows how to fucking write a document. Yeah. By the way, July 6th,
Starting point is 00:27:49 I went to the Mets game with Patty Fly Balls, who, by the way, Patty Fly Balls, our boy Patty Finnegan, works for Ladder 14, which is so nuts. That's his actual FDNY company, is Ladder 14. We were sitting up at the Mets game. I did not know that when we came up with that on your couch. Yeah, I didn't know. We were sitting in these the Mets game. I did not know that when we came up with that on your couch.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Yeah, I didn't know. We were sitting in this private suite, this private area in Citi Field. I look over to my left and guess who's... No, first of all, I feel a vibration on my phone. It's a picture of me in my Instagram DMs. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I swear to God. Well, let's tell the people what happened. Okay, because this is crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:22 This is crazy. We got a situation here. Yeah, we got a situation. I got a situation with the stalker. You We got a situation here. Yeah, I got a situation with the stalker. You got a situation with the mother wheels. I have a situation with the stalker. So this is for the fans. Everyone knows who this guy is because he's one of our super fans. He's Jim Bacacca's level at some
Starting point is 00:28:36 point. But listen to how uncomfortable his story is. Chris goes to the Mets games with his friends from Ridgewood. It's basically a Goodwill hunting night. Yeah, it's me, Patty Flyball, Patty Flyball's mother, Debo, boy Chrissy the Worm, and then the other guy, Danny, who
Starting point is 00:28:52 last time we were in Vegas, Pat threw his shoes into the hallway and called him a spic. And they're friends. And they're best friends. And that's a cop and a fireman. They just got a rivalry and it's just what it is. Yeah, so it's just it was a brutal. They just got a rivalry and it's just what it is. Yeah. And so it's just, it's just, it was a brutal thing, but it just happened.
Starting point is 00:29:08 And it's just what it is. And you have to understand, Chris is the Goodwill hunting of Ridgewood. All his friends are cops and firemen and they like to drink brews and talk about the Mets. And he sent videos to me of them talking about the Mets. And all Chris wants to do is fantasize about twirling around in Williamsburg, Virginia. Yeah. All I want to do is go to Williamsburg, Virginia and get in my fucking love sack. Yeah. And he's a kid with a PhD who left the neighborhood and he got all the way to Bay Ridge. Yeah. Yeah, all I want to do is go to Williamsburg, Virginia and get in my fucking love sack. Yeah, and he's a kid with a PhD who left the neighborhood and he got all the way to
Starting point is 00:29:27 Bay Ridge. Yeah, I got all the way. Which is fancy. Fancy. I got out to Bay Ridge. So we're at the Mets game. We're at fucking City because make no mistake, a kid named Paddy Fly Ball is a kid who loves the Mets. Yeah. So, oh, also his brother Eddie was there, BC. We call him Big Chest Eddie. BC. So BC is out there. They're firefighters. They're firefighters. No, they're firefighters.
Starting point is 00:29:43 They're firefighters. Yeah firefighters and they're firefighters and I get a vibration and I look at my DMs and it's a picture of me talking to Pat and I look and it's from Chris the teacher then I look to my left and I see Chris the teacher not even smiling just looking at me with beads of sweat coming
Starting point is 00:30:00 off his head yeah he was getting pewing he was getting pewing he comes over to me not only he says hello to me but he knows who patty fly balls and debo are so i swear to god he goes you must be patty fly balls yeah he took a picture yeah he took a picture of how it was and he goes you must be debo yeah and then he looks at debo and they're both stunned in amazement yeah where they can't believe what just happened yeah and then he just proceeds to text me and dm me throughout the rest of the fucking game. Just different.
Starting point is 00:30:28 What did he text you? He has your phone number? DM me. Sorry. Throughout the rest of the day and it was just wild. I mean, I appreciate, thank you for your service, but it was just, yeah. He was like, is it weird that I'm here? I was like, no. So that was just a complete coincidence? No, it truly was a coincidence. We love Chris the teacher.
Starting point is 00:30:44 It was just, but it truly was a coincidence. We love Chris the teacher. But it truly was a coincidence. But it was nice to see him. Chris the teacher is a good kid. He is a good kid. He brought me Williamsburg coverage. He does look like a bird. Yeah, he does look like a bird. He does look like a straight bird.
Starting point is 00:30:54 And he's some questionable, you know, things, you know, some underage girls. But it's just what it is. He's got a situation with the mother from what I understand. Yeah, and I probably would lean towards the mother from what I understand. Yeah. And I, and I can, and I probably would lean towards the mother's side on that. Yeah. I would probably say that that situation is justified and vindicated by the mother.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Yeah. So I was in AC. I was getting these texts. Now here's what happened. Let me finish this story. Yeah. Sorry. So I didn't eat anything.
Starting point is 00:31:19 I got in the car with these two cold brews. Yeah. And then by the time I got to Staten Island, I just noticed my whole body was shaking and I looked in the mirror and these two cold brews. Yeah. And then by the time I got to Staten Island, I just noticed my whole body was shaking. And I looked in the mirror and I was turning purple. Yeah. So I decided to pull over in Staten Island and get an egg and cheese sandwich at a fucking gas station.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah. I ate an egg and cheese sandwich and I down. At a gas station. At a gas station. I downed the Gatorade and I started to feel a little bit better, but I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out. Yeah. So, and then I got back in the car, got back on the road and then I felt like I was going to shit my pants.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I was going to die. And my blood sugar was low. Yeah. So I pulled over on the side of the road and I said, who's my only friend? Who's a doctor. I need to talk to a doctor. And I tried to peruse in my head,
Starting point is 00:31:56 my little mental Rolodex of all my friends. What about Dr. Nick? I was like, he's an ass doctor. He's an ass doctor, but he's a weird kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:03 He's not a fucking weirdo. Yeah. And he really hasn't hit us up since up since I went to his church and bombed. So it's just what it is. He was probably hyping it up like, listen, this is Yanni Pappas. He's a fucking Greek comedian. He's my favorite. And I just went there and ate my dick. It's what it is.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Because church gigs suck. Yeah. Don't hire me for it anymore. Yeah. So I forgot about Dr. Nick. Yeah. Yeah. So I said, which one of my friends is the doctor? Plus, he's an acquaintance. He's a fucking peripheral kid. Yeah. So I forgot about Dr. Nick. Yeah. Yeah. So I said, which one of my friends is the doctor?
Starting point is 00:32:26 Plus doctor. He's more of a, he's an acquaintance. He's a fucking peripheral kid. Yeah. I was looking for my good friends. Who's going to help me? Who can I talk to? Who can I tell him I'm feeling vulnerable? Yeah. Which one of my friends is the fucking, he's a doctor. And I said, Chrissy's a doctor. Yeah. I said, Chrissy, actually I asked Lynn. I said, Lynn, is your son a doctor? She said, my son's a doctor.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Yeah. So I called Chrissy up and Chrissy was on the road. And I said, Chrissy, am I okay? Here's my symptoms. And then I also told you, I did shit my pants because what happened was, you know when you're just like, you're trying to solve the problem. You're like, maybe if I fart, I'll be okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:57 You know when you feel lightheaded and like, I'm having a lot of anxiety because my dad's on the runway. You know, my brother's an FF. I got a lot of things going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was all just coming down on me. I'm going to AC. I don't want to be here. You know, my brother's an FF. I got a lot of things going on. Yeah. So it was all just coming down on me. I'm going to AC. I don't want to be here.
Starting point is 00:33:08 You know? Yeah. And, um, and, uh, you know, Paul versus got a very important manager. A lot of things that was getting overwhelmed by. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, and, uh, and I figured, you know, you just think anything could solve your problem. So if I fart, maybe I'll feel better.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Right. So I kind of pushed it a little bit. Yeah. And I shit my pants on the side of the road. It's what it is. I shit my pants in Staten Island. And we have a picture of it and we're going to post it on the Patreon, right? We do have a picture.
Starting point is 00:33:36 We can't post it on the Patreon. We can't. Should we? Is that gross? I don't know. Can we post it on the Patreon for the 25? We can, but do people want to see it? If you pay $25, I think you want to see your shit stained.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Can we just post on the Patreon now? Do people, well, after they hear the episode, we'll do a poll. Do they want to fucking see? Because I did the picture of it, and a little bit bled through to my shorts as well. Yeah. Yeah, I had seven shorts on that I got from Century 21 in Bay Ridge, and a little bit fucking bled into the shorts. Did you wash your ass out a little bit?
Starting point is 00:33:59 So here's the story. Did you get a wet wipe? No, well, that's it. I shit my pants, and it was squishy, and I spoke to you, and you said, you're going to be okay. What'd you tell me? Pull over to rest stop. You said get a water. no well that's i shit my pants and it was squishy and i spoke to you and you said you're gonna be okay what'd you tell me pull over the rest stop you said get a water get a water drink a lot of water i said you got to flush this thing out because i said you probably drank too much coffee you have too much caffeine in your system so you got to drink enough water where you just pee out the caffeine and then my cannon and debo were in we're in the car they started laughing they all started laughing at me everyone started laughing me and called me an ff yeah called you an ff yeah and you and then your medical diagnosis was that I was acting like a real FF
Starting point is 00:34:25 right now. That's what it was. Yeah. So yeah, I just, my diagnosis was just rainbow flags. Yeah. So then I, so then I went to the next rest stop. Yeah. And I drank a few waters and I went one of those massage chairs, right? I went one of the massage chairs. I took a piss. You went to a massage
Starting point is 00:34:42 chair in a road stop in New Jersey? Yeah. I went to a road stop. Yeah. And so I'm just sitting at this point. Yeah. I'm in Jersey at this point. I drove a piss. You went into a massage chair in a road stop in New Jersey? Yeah, I went to a road stop. And so I'm just sitting at this point. Yeah, I'm in Jersey at this point. I drove a couple miles and I get into the rest stop and I start doing the massage chair. I think it's going to calm me down because I'm having a full blown anxiety attack. My hands are tangling in there. You know, it's a full blown anxiety attack or
Starting point is 00:34:57 maybe I'm dying. Maybe I got a heart condition. We don't know. But it was an anxiety attack because I got good blood pressure. It's beautiful blood pressure. Yeah, you got nice Mediterranean blood pressure. So I get into the thing and the massage for some reason has a massage in the middle of the chair. I mean, it's like it really goes in your ass. So it's just pushing the squishiness of my underwear into my ass. Yeah. So it was an uncomfortable massage.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I wasn't happy for 15 minutes. It was a $5 15 minute massage. And then I started to feel better and I drove to Atlantic City, but I did shit my pants on the way. But you walked through that lobby of a Borgata, which is one of the nice hotels in LA City with a dirty shit filled ass. Cause yeah, when I finally got, I got some
Starting point is 00:35:36 chicken tenders from the Burger King and I had to stand against the wall because I just, I knew that I had a little shit stain on my shorts. Yeah. So I just was always conscious of someone was behind me. If they were going to see my shit.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Did you put on, did you put on some classical music or some Kings of Leon to calm you down? Yeah. I put on some Kings of Leon. You like Kings of Leon. I like Kings of Leon. Yeah. When we were drove back from Virginia,
Starting point is 00:35:57 we listened to some Kings of Leon. Yeah. Why don't we should go back to Virginia and do that gig with that, with that. What's that guy's name? With the screwed in kid. Yeah. The screwed in kid.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Yeah. Yeah. Who's also doing a lot of big gigs? Yeah, I remember he was like, he was telling us. Oh yeah, he does a lot of big gigs. Erwin, good kid. I'll hit him up. Yeah, hit him up. Let's fucking do some more stuff. Yeah. Vanitya's at the caller. Let's call Vanitya. Let's speak to Vanitya. Can we talk to Vanitya? Yeah. Yeah, we can talk.
Starting point is 00:36:19 I mean, can we see her I meant to say? Yeah. Is this? There you go, babe. Hello. Hey, baby. Babe, you got to get back here because I mean, we're falling apart here. Yeah. Without you.
Starting point is 00:36:36 What are you talking about? What happened? We just we decided to start paying people $100 an episode. And I don't think we have the budget to do that. But, babe, you just got to come back because I miss you and I'm a change man what's going on guys what's going on in New York babe what time is it in Greece babe a lot of wild things what time
Starting point is 00:36:56 is it in Greece babe what time is it in Greece where you at it's 8 o'clock I'm off to go meet up with a friend what is it a guy yeah is it a guy because Chris is Is it a guy? Because Chris is jealous. I mean, it's a group of friends. It's a group of friends. Yeah. We call that in Greek, Perea. It's a company. So you're doing
Starting point is 00:37:11 Perea. Yeah, I'm going to go meet up with a Perea. Perea, yeah. What does that mean? We're going to go hang out. He's friends, you know. You got to remember, I'm a Greek kid. You're a Greek kid. You can't speak Greek, though. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Veneti, have you been throwing hands while you've been in Greece? No, but I did do I did work out today I do TRX
Starting point is 00:37:28 when I'm here I have my trainer Dimitri to do TRX Dimitri sounds like an FF I miss him though when are you coming home I'm coming home in a few weeks guys oh my god I have a wedding at the end of the month
Starting point is 00:37:43 you're still so long. What a wedding. Are you going to be here for our birthdays? What is going on over there? Me and Giannis' birthday, August 25th and 26th. Are you going to be here for our birthday party? Yeah, because we need your grandmother's cookies. Oh yeah. Okay, I'll make sure I'm back. Yeah, because we're going to have a birthday party in the studio. We're going to get
Starting point is 00:37:59 cone hats. And it's Mike's birthday as well. When is Mike's? When's your birthday? 26th. Your birthday is August 26th too. Wow. I mean, how do you know that, Vinny T, what her birthday is? How did you know Mike's birthday? Because I listen when you guys are talking. Yeah. I remember that.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Yeah, you know who else listens, Mike, when you told them that his design was shit. Yeah. Maybe for Mike's birthday you could buy him a fucking anime figure. Okay, it was a really nice t-shirt. I want that design. I want that as my own personal. Yeah, you want it as your toilet paper so you can wipe
Starting point is 00:38:31 your ass with it. No, Vanitya, how about this? For August, because Yanni's August 25th, me and Mikey's August 26th. Why don't we all go to Medieval Times for our birthday? No, we're not going to do that, Chris. Why not? Because we're grown up kids. I'm not going to fucking Medieval Times. I went to a fucking medieval festival
Starting point is 00:38:47 with you last year. It was the worst thing in the world. You're walking around with a turkey leg and a fucking paper hat around your head. No, this is different. That was the renaissance, man. Medieval Times, we'll sit down and we watch Joust and we get to drink soup out of fucking bread bowls and turkey legs and it's going to be nights and shit Jousting.
Starting point is 00:39:04 We're eating soup in the middle of summer? Yeah, but it's air conditioned in there, babe. Yeah, because he wants to keep going in medieval times. He's a 35 year old father because come on. That's a random birthday party, but let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. And I'll bring the baby and it'll be good. You can
Starting point is 00:39:19 fucking see what it's like to be a stepmom. Dope, dope. We miss you. We miss you. Do you guys get the t-shirt? Yeah, I'm wearing one right now. I'm wearing my t-shirt right now, babe. Yeah, babe.
Starting point is 00:39:32 We got to get t-shirts on our backs for all our road gigs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited, guys. Yo, I have to let you guys go. Wow. We got to hurt you guys right now. Wow.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Hebert. I'm sorry. We miss you, babe babe my friends are looking at me laughing um but i miss you guys so much can you see can you send a picture crazy wild shit like babe can you send a picture of of of you or like the sunset you're looking at to our group chat to ahina's group chat on text because i just want to see i just want to see the world that you see because i feel like we got the same heartbeat. Yeah. And send us a picture of all the Swarthies you're hanging out with. People want to see the Greeks you're hanging with.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I will. Okay. I love you, babe. Bye. Yasu. Yasu. Yasu. Who is that? Is she in Crete? Where is she? I don't know. I fucking know, guys. Listen, we love Venetia.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Love Vegas. This episode today obviously is not about Chrissy's love sack or Mikey's anime shirt. We are History Hyenas and we're brought to you by 9 Street Auto Collision out there on the island. These kids are good. They're in Huntington.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Their number is 631-351-5300. If you're out there on the island. These kids are good. They're in Huntington. Their number is 631-351-5300. If you're out there on the island, you got any problem with your car, they've been doing it over 20 years, give these guys a call because they do towing too. No, they don't. Yeah, we're also brought to you by CBD Script. CBD Script, they do weed stuff because make no mistake
Starting point is 00:41:07 every single night what I do my routine is I get some sleepy time tea and I put some CBD from CBD script in it and I fucking
Starting point is 00:41:15 crawl into that love sack and I sleep like a baby I swear to God I pass I sleep seven hours don't wake up once because my sleepy time tea with the CBD script
Starting point is 00:41:23 yeah CBD scripts got no fumes too they don't use any fucking chemicals my sleepy time tea with the CBD script. Yeah. CBD scripts got no fumes too. They don't use any fucking chemicals. Go to their website to get your gummies, your edibles, everything like that. Your CBD oil. It's CBD script.com S C R I P not script script. So CBD script.com go to the promo code. Hyena's 15 to get 15 percent off your total offer. We're also brought to you by Nutrition Made Fun.
Starting point is 00:41:49 This kid is wild. You like his posts all the time. The kid doesn't have one post with his shirt on. Yeah. And if he does have a shirt, it's a history Hyena shirt. Yeah, he's fucking the best. Where does he live? What state is this?
Starting point is 00:42:00 I don't know, because he lives with his mother in Oregon or Seattle or something like that. Yeah, he just lost his job and he's not going to be able to afford to be our sponsor. Yeah, he's just like, you know what? I'm just going to fucking make quinoa balls and post it and see what happens. Kid loves strawberries. He likes telling you what's nutritious. He's a healthy kid, though. He is a healthy kid.
Starting point is 00:42:15 And he's actually, his tips are really good. I actually read those whole things. Me too. I read the whole things. And go sign up. Become one of his clients, man. He'll help you. We know we got a lot of big
Starting point is 00:42:25 kids listening to this you need to lose some fucking weight we want to have you around for a little while yeah so you can't be an ff your whole life yeah yeah and what i like about this is he makes nutrition fun he really does it really true no he truly truly does so go follow him nutrition made fun on instagram his name is matt kotch he's an ff but he used to be an ff probably no but now he's shredded. He's shredded. Yeah. So go follow him. Next enrollment's July 15.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Just go to his Instagram and follow from there. He's got the link in the bio for where you can go. So check that out. And you got to go check out our boy if you're in South Carolina. Oh, yeah. Fucking crack your teeth open. Clean them out. Dr. Harvey Spencer.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Because he's in South Carolina. So there's probably a lot of racists down there. We got some of you fucking KKK kids. Yeah. Go to fucking go to Lee Harvey Oswald. Yeah yeah maybe the reason why you're so hateful is because you got a cavity yeah you may have a cavity you i know it's hot down there in south carolina and that you that's a fucking racist place yeah but guess what you may be a kkk member in south carolina yeah but you're fucking stupid kid yeah there's never any you ever noticed the
Starting point is 00:43:23 white supremacists are like the worst advocates for white supremacy? Yeah. It's always some kid that works at a gas station. They're like, whites are people who are superior. Yeah. Well, guess what? Yeah. Guess what?
Starting point is 00:43:33 Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. is a fucking black dentist. Yeah, and he's the best. Kid went to medical school. He's smarter than you, fucking Johnson. Johnson Lee Ross Spencer. Yeah. That one's got 14 names names he's smarter than fucking you um go down to his office um go down to his office down in rocky hill south carolina
Starting point is 00:43:51 get your teeth what did you call it rocky hill what's it called yeah we always fuck it up yeah it's uh it's uh it's rock hill south carolina yeah no get go rock hill south carolina go to dr lee harvey spencer's what is Yeah, because once we started calling him Lee Harvey Oswald, it's Harvey Spencer Jr. Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. Get your teeth cracked open and cleaned out. And then after he's done with the cleaning, you can wash out your mouth with some Hennessy. He's black.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Way too much. I mean, I was kidding. No, Dr. Harvey's joking around. He knows that. I mean. He doesn't care. So yeah, healthyhappysmile.com That's a healthyhappysmile.com
Starting point is 00:44:32 Follow them on Instagram a healthy smile rock hill. A healthy smile rock hill. Even if you're not in South Carolina, follow them, man. I mean, go support them, follow them. Tell your friends who are in the South to go to healthyhappysmile.com
Starting point is 00:44:48 It's a great dental practice and it's really geared for the whole family, for kids and everything. They got next generation. You follow their Instagram, you see it's just a happy place for kids and families to go get their teeth cracked open and clean the fuck out. And of course, we're brought to you by
Starting point is 00:45:04 Vidora Rajpaska. He sneaked in at our $100 level. And of course, we're brought to you by Vidura Raj Pasca. He sneaked in at our $100 level. And the kid is a Sri Lankan comic in Berlin. Go follow him on Instagram Vidura Raj Pasca and most importantly, go to his website. Welcome to the Sandbox. What is it? Sandbox. Live from the Sandbox.com
Starting point is 00:45:20 Live from the Sandbox.com Look at me I'm Sandra. Yeah. He can be found at Vedora Raj Pasca on all social media. So check him out. And that's it. Can we talk about real quick?
Starting point is 00:45:34 Make sure you follow us out in history at history. I mean, it's on Instagram, everything like that and get our t-shirts on, on the volley apparel.com slash collection slash teas. It's a correct open clean out. No fumes and witch hazel. Yeah, we're going to make that a lot easier.
Starting point is 00:45:49 We're going to get a history hyenas website. Let me let me let me let me follow up on that. Go ahead. Let me look at you guys and say I'm already on it. Yeah, we got a new member of the team. Oh, Tony Cassis. OK, yeah, she's made our website. It's coming up.
Starting point is 00:46:02 We'll be up this week. All the links. Wow. Wild. Tony, we love you. If you got any website needs, you want a website, go with Tony. She's the best. We're going to give her all the free advertising she wants because she's a part of our team now.
Starting point is 00:46:16 She's a huge fan of the podcast and she's joined the team. Tony Cassis. Thank you so much. She's made my website and historyhyenas.com will be live very soon with all relevant links. Yeah. Also, do we do Lake Lakeside Maple? We got to hit those kids lakesidemaple.com 15% off your order at lakesidesidemaple.com. You got to use the code wild. That's the code wild to check out for 50% off your lakesidemaple.com.
Starting point is 00:46:40 The kid's got a fucking kid's a mogul and he makes believe he's not. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. I mean, if you you're in whole foods you can't act like you're fucking starving yeah no lakeside maple now the kid's great yeah all right so do you want to do you want to do the do you want to talk about what we're going to talk about or of course we do okay what are you doing what do you got there no no no i'm just is that a poem you wrote what is that oh real quick well here you know what real quick should we just read out the patron member names? Let's get over with. Let's just read out the patron members, the newest members of the matriarchy. And then we're going to get to the actual business of today.
Starting point is 00:47:09 Yeah. Today we're talking about Jake Lingle, who is a reporter who was gunned down in Chicago. Fucking wild. Fucking wild. All right. Real quick. Welcome to the matriarchy. Melissa P.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Brenna Button. Danny lives on the white side of Bay Ridge. That means he's in the 80s. He's in the situation side of Bay Ridge. That means he's in the 80s. He's in the situation with the mother area. Yeah. Aaron Chikili. What's up, Aaron? Criminal minded. Criminal minded. That kid is yeah, I mean.
Starting point is 00:47:36 James Frank. And I don't say that because of Criminal Minded. I say that because it's a Boogie Down Productions fucking album. James Frank. James Frank and Beans. James Franks and Beans. Derek Kenmore. What's up yeah i mean hannah blackington hannah ricky southside irish all right matthew spiker matthew spiker who is also dan coney on instagram kids screwed in yeah screwed in zach arman wow lauren aren't stam Nobody's even trying to get the PPW title. Danielle.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Hi, Danielle. Andrew Borsetti. How you doing, Andrew Borsetti? Sonny Tarazi. How you doing, Sonny Tarazi? Sean Murphy. Hi, Sean. Yeah, those three names sound like cops that were just involved in a scandal.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Yeah, that's what it is. Kevin Brandt. That's another good. Officer Brandt. That good Kevin Brandt. Pete Walton. I mean, how many cops we got on here? Yeah. Then this next one.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Chris Uvula is a backboard. My dick is Tim Duncan. Because he might be that is I'm announcing right now. Yeah. The PPW winner of all Patreon announcements. Wow. Yeah, that is the funniest name I've heard.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Chris, uvula is a backboard. My dick is Tim Duncan. Yeah, he's fucking, he's shooting it off your uvula, guys. Here we go. And then we got, next up, we got Joey got a situation with your grandmother. That's not many good ones. I mean, the victor's been crowned then here we go we got diego i'm already here so build the wall i don't give a fuck peralta ruiz
Starting point is 00:49:10 that's another good one holy shit yeah wow they came in late yeah uh caroline cream of the crop wop another good one claudio robels jake danteino, Alexandria, Brody Northwall, White Walker, Antonio Arviso. Good. Yeah. Lindy Pouch. Yeah. What's up, Lindy Pouch? Campbell Seagile.
Starting point is 00:49:40 That's another fucking, that's another PPW nominee. Travis Pronko, Nicole Calhoun and Dustin. Yeah. Dustin Chafin's joining us. So let's get to the fucking bit. Thank you for the newest members of the Matriarchy. They went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. They are fucking really screwed in kids. So let's talk about
Starting point is 00:49:57 these fucking guidos. Yeah, and what we're going to have Venetia or Mike do is go through all these PPWs. We're going to do a PPW Hall of Fame. I'm a screwed in kid. We're going to post on the Patreon just for you guys to enjoy and we will let you know
Starting point is 00:50:13 all time PPW Hall of Fame. I'm telling you right now, those two kids make a note. Their first team all NBA ballot fucking Hall of Fame. And for the $100 members, what we're going to start to do, we're going to bring a new thing. A lot of times, Yana and I, when we meet up, we kamikaze each other. And if you guys aren't part of the Patreon, if you're not at that level, what the kamikaze is, is one of us is recording the other one without the other one knowing.
Starting point is 00:50:36 So we just get, you know, it's just like you're truly in our lives because like nobody knows the other one's recording. But we're going to start for the $100 members, do the kamikaze knockouts, where usually like somebody was, me, I was being kamikaze, and I say something so wild that Giannis has to stop the kamikaze. Yeah, that happened this morning. Yeah, we're going to play, we're going to play what caused it to stop. We can't play that.
Starting point is 00:50:58 For $100? I don't think we can do that, because I really don't think we can do that. All right, well. It's a good idea, but I mean, I think mine will be okay. Yeah. I think yours just have to go to the grave with us.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah, it's just what it is. I don't think we can put those up. And I'm not building suspense either. I'm just truly looking out for my friend. I'm not trying to get you guys intrigued. I'm just saying we're not going to do it. Anyway, cuz, today we're talking about a very fascinating historical
Starting point is 00:51:27 figure and situation with the mother. Oh, it's kind of a situation with the mother. He had a situation with the mafia. Oh, with them. Yeah. They killed him or somebody killed him. It could have been the cops. This is what's so fascinating. This is one of those things we find. Sometimes we find some good stories that one day, you know, are going to
Starting point is 00:51:43 be movies. Right. Guy's name was Jake Lingle. Yeah. Jake Lingle. Nice name. Let's go back to Chicago in the 30s. So April 2nd, 1931, see? Al Capone, he's a New Yorker, but he follows his mentor to Chicago. Starts racketing and dealing in bootlegging, see?
Starting point is 00:52:02 Takes over. Because his mentor, Al Capone had a mentor. Who gives a fuck what his name is because he's not as famous as Al Capone. He retires because there was a hit on his life and he just said, fuck it, and he got out. Which one of the mobsters who got out, Al Capone's mentor, Al Capone joined a gang in New York. He was a New York
Starting point is 00:52:18 kid. He punched a teacher. It's what it is. He punched a teacher. It happens. It's a female teacher he punched. Kid was the problem. He was a female teacher. He punched. Yeah. Kid was a problem. He's he was a real criminal. Yeah. Al Capone. So he was a high school dropout, punched the teacher, joined the gang.
Starting point is 00:52:32 I think it was called the Five Points Gang. And this kid was his mentor. Who gives a shit what his name is? Look it up. Doesn't matter. That kid convinces Al Capone to follow him to Chicago. OK. Al Capone goes to Chicago.
Starting point is 00:52:43 The Volstead Act happens. Which is what? The puritanical fucking American wasp head started to pop up and they said we can't have alcohol. It was basically because they didn't like all the Irish kids who were drunks. And make no mistake, if you're an Irish kid, you're a fucking drunk.
Starting point is 00:52:59 It was the James Street Boys gang ran by Johnny Torrio. What was the Five Point Gang then? Five Point Gang. That was when you got associated with Later. That was Later. Okay, so what's his mentor's name? Johnny Torrio. Johnny Torrio. So Johnny Torrio, right? Johnny Torrio. First of all, he
Starting point is 00:53:16 makes a good CD. Yeah. He learned it from his mother. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of footy. But he follows him to Chicago. Yeah. And then he, there's a hit that Johnny Torrio,
Starting point is 00:53:29 somebody tries to kill Johnny Torrio. I think it was the Moran because the rival gang in Chicago was a bunch of fucking mix. Yeah. Bunch of patty fly balls. Wasn't Bugsy Moran, wasn't he Jewish? No, Bugsy Segal was a Jew.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Bugsy Segal, I'm sorry. Yeah, but he's in Vegas. Okay. He's in Miami, he's in Vegas. Yeah, he's got nothing to do with this, but you know what? Yeah, I'm just, we're fucking history hyenas. Maybe he does. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, we don't Vegas. Okay. He's in Miami. He's in Vegas. Yeah. He's got nothing to do with this, but you know what? Yeah. I'm just fucking history. Hyenas.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Maybe he does. Yeah. I don't know. We don't know. Yeah. Yeah. When does Joe Pesci get into the story? We got a situation with the research.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Yeah. Yeah. We're two Wikipedia sluts and it's just what it is. It's just what we're two cute Wikipedia sluts. Yeah. So he, um, Torrio decides
Starting point is 00:54:07 maturely because a lot of mobsters stay too long. He just gets out of the business because he's scared. He goes retire somehow and he somehow lives and lives in obscurity or whatever goes and raises his grandkids like fucking Tony Soprano or whatever. It's what it is in the suburbs. And Al Pacino
Starting point is 00:54:24 takes over when the Volstead Act is what made alcohol illegal. That's prohibition. Right. So then he gets into bootlegging. Right. And so Al Capone is in control of Chicago. And the rival gang is a bunch of Irish kids. Was that rival gang?
Starting point is 00:54:39 I think it was the Moran gang. Can we get you on the Google again? Mike, stop texting Vince. Stop looking at your text to Venetia. Yeah, I mean, you're in love with Venetia, and if we have a stalker situation, we're going to have to call the cops. Yeah, if Venetia ever goes missing, yeah, I'm rating that fucking studio apartment.
Starting point is 00:54:53 If Venetia ever goes missing, we know who's trying to make her into an anime doll. Yeah. You can just be in your room forever like this. Yeah. With a little Chinese face. Yeah. Yeah. Chinese kids do anime, face. Yeah. Yeah. Because anime, Chinese kids do anime, right? Yeah. Japanese.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Japanese, but you know. Same thing. I mean. Wei Shang Xing. That was a double Wei Shang Xing. Was that a chorus Wei Shang Xing? Yeah, that needed more than one. Yeah. Oh, that's a double. I like it. Zack's got tricks up his sleeve. Yeah. He just makes it hard to fire him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Every week, I mean, the fans just say, get rid of the muzzy and we can't. We can't do it. He's good with the bike. Pati, she's pat-a-pansy. So, he's in control of bootlegging. Now, what happens is, so he's running bootlegging, right? Al Capone's fucking, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:42 Al Capone was a kid who dressed fit. He was a real Italian fucking sauce monk. Yeah, I saw Al Capone sell at, you know, Al Capone was a kid who dressed. He was a real Italian fucking sauce monkey. Yeah, I saw Al Capone sell at Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, which is a haunted prison. And I went there and I went by myself and I went the tour guide. It was it was a four person tour. And then they went. I had to run to the bathroom and then I couldn't find where they were. But they had went down the hallway to go to Al Capone sell.
Starting point is 00:56:03 But I got too scared to run down the hallway, so I just left the door. That's what it is. And I swear to God, I never saw Al Capone's cell, but I paid money to see it, but it's haunted in there. Ghosts aren't real, but Chrissy's fear is. Yeah. All right. For Chicago's, this whole era is called the beer wars. You know, this is fucking mobsters fighting over territory to sell booze.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Cops are paid off. Yes. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. More people are paid off than we actually know. Right. Okay. You got city officials.
Starting point is 00:56:30 You got police commissioners. This is a wild time. The Untouchables eventually, of course, come in led by, famously led by Elliot Ness. They take down Al Capone on tax evasion charges. The kid ends up going to prison for a little while, dies poor, obscurely.
Starting point is 00:56:48 At least he was like a snowbird and he went to Florida and he died of syphilis. Yeah. And it's what it is. It's what it is. Kid got syphilis. He got syphilis. First job he had, Al Capone, when he got to Chicago was he was a bouncer at a brothel. And that's when he started banging toots.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Yeah. He got syphilis. Yeah. He went the way you're going to go. Yeah. Yeah. Kid spun the wheel and he got syphilis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He got syphilis. Yeah. He went the way you're going to go. Yeah. Yeah. Kid spun the wheel and he got syphilis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Yeah. Yeah. But while he lived with syphilis, the kid liked expensive suits. He liked jewelry. He was a fucking evil fucking kid. Yeah. Of course, the Valentine's Day massacre was famous when he killed a bunch of kids from Moran's gang or whatever that mixed name is.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Whatever. What do we call Irish kids? If Italian kids are sauce monkeys, what are Irish kids? Beer monkeys? Beer monkeys. Potato monkeys. Potato monkeys. Yeah, potato monkeys. Mugs Merle. Ladder 14. Ladder 14. It's a character piece. My name is Paddy Mulrooney.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Yeah, and I'm Sean. No, no. I'm Sean Tyree. Yeah, I'm Paddy Mulrooney. Yeah, but really, we just got his preference of Chris DiStefano saying weird things. Yeah, I'm Paddy Mulrooney. My wife's Colleen. My daughter's Colleen Jr. It's what it is. So Valentine's Day Massacre is another famous instance.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Everybody knows about that where Al Capone had a couple of his guys pretend like they were cops, lined up those guys and then assassinated them. Nobody was ever arrested for that. It was a wild time in Chicago. And this was Chicago. I didn't say nothing. Yeah, it was. It was one of those days. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Right. And, you know, they got a different accent over there. It's like, you know, I'm from Chicago. It's a weird place to be. Like, would you like another? Can I get you a board? Listen, New York's the only city that matters. It's what it is. But Chicago's
Starting point is 00:58:18 beautiful. I want to get pizza. Yeah, and Chicago's got deep dish pizza and it's good. I'm going to Chicago in August. Because they make their pizzas into pies. Cute. Yeah, I mean, it looks like an apple dish pizza and it's good. I'm going to Chicago in August. Because they make their pizzas into pies. Cute. I mean, it looks like an apple pie, but it's pizza. But it's just a little crusty pizza. Do you prefer Chicago pizza or New York
Starting point is 00:58:34 pizza? New York pizza. Mike Emoji. Let's go to a real expert. New York pizza. You go to New York pizza? Alright, I believe Mike Emoji faces because he's an expert. Yeah, it's what it is. You're just a kid who fucking eats salmon and quinoa he's an expert. Yeah, it's what it is. You're just a kid who fucking eats salmon and quinoa and throws hands now. Yeah, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Yeah, you're not an FF anymore. No, I still am now. Yeah. I boxed yesterday with Paul Agassi. I took my shirt off. Yeah, was he sober? Paul, no, Paul Agassi was sober
Starting point is 00:58:56 and he was real sober and he told me, I swear to God, because my daughter's been a little sick. She had a fever. He said, cuz, I swear to God, he said, he said two things I'm going to tell you right now what to do.
Starting point is 00:59:06 He said, and you're not going to see this anywhere. This is not marketed by the U.S. government. I swear to God, he said this. He said, number one, you want to lay her down. You want to rub coconut oil on her feet. I swear. Because it sounds like a Puerto Rican grandmother's remedy. I swear, he goes, you want to rub coconut oil on her feet.
Starting point is 00:59:19 He said, and then what you want to do also, he said, you want to have her put socks on. You want to slice up onions. You want to put onions in the socks. And you want to put them at the base of her feet. And you want to let her just sleep throughout the night with the onions. What the onions will do is they'll absorb into the bottoms of her feet and they'll clean out any disease she has. And then he said also another way that you could cure AIDS. He told me a way to cure AIDS is that is there's a way with a French onion soup.
Starting point is 00:59:41 No, he said it's called like like something with the ozone layer. He was talking to me about how we're actually all, as human beings, we're all part of the ozone and how the ozone layer can just clean out your blood. Ozone park? Ozone park, yeah. DJ Boris? Yeah, DJ Boris. I believe Paul Gassi because he's got a medical degree.
Starting point is 00:59:57 He does, yeah. He went to St. John's. Yeah, he's got a degree in throwing hands, though. Yeah, that's what it is, yeah. Did he get his BA from St. John's? He got it from St. John's, yeah. St. John's is a good school. Yeah, it's what it is. Did he get his B.A. from St. John's? He got it from St. John's, yeah. St. John's is a good school. No, it's a good school. That's where Walter Berry went there. So, it's what it is. So, shout out to Paul DeGasse. So did Chris Mullin, my father.
Starting point is 01:00:13 Yeah, your father went there as well. Also, go watch the Bay Ridge Boys episodes. We're putting them out there now on our Instagram, on History Hyenas, and also Christie Comedy and Yannis Pompous. And I also saw a few campaigns in the comments and I don't know if you were joking or serious going, if you guys get sidetracked, you know, somebody was trying to say, like, if you guys get sidetracked,
Starting point is 01:00:30 I'm fucking not listening. Well, listen, this is the history hyenas, okay? You're going to get your history in between us talking about fucking Chris's syphilis. It's just what it is. It's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. So now enter into this situation a kid named Jake Lingle. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. So now enter into this situation
Starting point is 01:00:45 a kid named Jake Lingle. Yeah, Jake Lingle. Like a Pringle, but he's Lingle. Yeah. Jake fucking Lingle Pringle. Now, Jake Lingle is a low-level crime reporter. He's kind of more of a fact-gatherer. He doesn't really even he doesn't really even do the
Starting point is 01:01:01 story. He's not a muckraker. Right. He's a guy who goes out there and gets the facts and brings them to the reporter. To the reporter. Says I got the scoop on a murder here. And so he was a really prized possession for a lot of reporters. And I think he was working at the Chicago Tribune. Am I right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:15 See? So this was a time in Chicago where everyone wanted to get the scoop. And Al Capone was a real known figure. He was infamous. And this kid always seemed to know the scoop on murders and stuff like that. So he was highly sought out, but he was only making 65 bucks a week as a kind of a crime, information,
Starting point is 01:01:33 crime story, information gatherer, right? Not a known reporter at all. Now, this was a time where reporters were kind of, um, they were elevated.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Like they were thought of as untouchable. And even the mafia had a hands off approach on, on the policy of like criminals was like hands off. Like they treated them like cops and stuff like hands off on reporters. We're not going to kill reporters, even though reporters are, are reporting on us and reporting on crimes. We know that like,
Starting point is 01:02:01 if we take down a reporter or something bad happens to reporter, the bad things are going to happen. It's kind of like if you kill a CIA agent overseas. Can't do it. You're calling in the boys. Yeah. Yeah. And you know who learned that lesson the hard way?
Starting point is 01:02:12 The Colombian kid. What's his fucking name? Who? The big one. Pablo Escobar. Pablo Escobar learned the hard way. If you fuck with one of our boys. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Yeah. The weight of the law is coming down on you and Donald Trump's coming. Yeah. He's coming yeah he's coming yeah just like when um in the in the last narcos with mexico when they the mexican cartel killed an fbi agent and now look at mexico now you have a situation with trump okay and walls built around you and it's just a death you can't kill one of the boys you can't kill one of the boys you can kill five million of your own people yeah as soon as you kill one of the boys. You can kill five million of your own people. Yeah. As soon as you kill one of the boys. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:46 You've got a situation with the with the with the with the. Yeah, because if Dominican Republic isn't careful with all these American tourists dying there, then we're just gonna have to make it a parking lot. It's just what it is. What is it? We're going to park our jet blue planes there. Yeah. And El Duque is just going to he's just going to be sent back. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Yeah. And he's from Cuba. I think he's from Cuba. I'm wrong. Yeah. But. That sent back. Yeah. Jukai's from Cuba, I think. He's from Cuba. I'm wrong. Chapman's got to go back. To be honest, we've got to keep him. He throws 104. And he beats his wife and stuff, and he's a horrible guy, but the kid throws gas.
Starting point is 01:03:18 And the Yankees got to win the pennant. Yeah. Yeah, so we're keeping Chapman. We're keeping Chapman we're keeping Chapman I mean the kid's lefty and he's throwing 104 so unfortunately unfortunately you know a couple of girls gotta get disciplined
Starting point is 01:03:34 I'm sorry yeah I mean we just gotta look the other way we need another ring yeah yeah cuz I mean even your mother would understand that as a good Catholic she's still a Yankee fan right she's still a Yankee fan yeah so yeah you know I mean we just gotta look you know the as a good Catholic. She's still a Yankee fan, right? She's still a Yankee fan. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, we just got to look. You know, the cops are going to look the other way with that.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Yeah. It's just. Yeah. Yeah. They're going to be like, we're going to solve this crime after the World Series. Yeah. Let's just. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Let's just see if the Yanks. Yeah. Let's see if the Yanks get past the Dodgers. Yeah. So enter. Enter Chicago. 1930s, 20s, 30s. Jake Lingle.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Who's Jake Lingle? Chicago kid. Yeah. Chicago kid who actually grew up with Russell who ends up becoming the police commissioner in Chicago. They grew up together. They grew up together. My Uncle Russell?
Starting point is 01:04:13 No, not your Uncle Russell. It's not a cat competition? No, it's not this Uncle Russell. It's more this Uncle Russell from Chicago. He ends up becoming a police chief and doing a couple of hulkies here and there. And I'm from Chicago. Yeah. He ends up becoming a police chief and, you know, throwing a couple of hulkies here and there. And I'm from Chicago. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:27 So they meet when he's like a young cop. And like this kid is, believe it or not, a semi-professional baseball player. Wow. So this kid could have been your grandfather. Yeah, my grandfather. Who had a couple of families. Yeah, he had a couple of families.
Starting point is 01:04:40 And he played semi-pro for the New York Giants. Because if you don't think that before you turn 40, you're not going to have three families because you're going to impregnate two more women. Yeah, cuz. Yeah. It's what it is, cuz. It's just what it is.
Starting point is 01:04:53 You got a high sperm count and you get people pregnant. It's what it is. Cuz, you got so much sperm, I think you could put that dick in Mike's ass and there'd be a baby to come out. Yeah. Cuz, I think you could make a white walker in Mike's ass. Like a little fucking little chalupa coming out.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Because it's just what it is. Yeah. ISIS is a Muslim. Yeah. It's what it is. He's got tattoos on his fingers. Because they're not a, they're just not a fan of Jesus Christ. Because ISIS has bangs.
Starting point is 01:05:17 What the fuck is going on? Because I didn't ask ISIS's opinion on Chicago pizza because it's not. It's not. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. What a fucking goat fucker. All right, so let's get back to talking about this FF.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Jake Lengel. So turns out he's a highly connected kid. Okay. Right. He's a highly connected kid, but this comes out later because what happens is he gets fucking murdered. He's a reporter, low level, unknown reporter at the time, but he gets murdered.
Starting point is 01:05:45 How does he get murdered? His witnesses say he's walking. There's two guys walking with him. They get on the train. The kid's smoking a cigar. One of his friends sees him on the train, doesn't say anything to him. Some judge who knew him or whatever says he doesn't look concerned. He's walking with the two guys.
Starting point is 01:06:01 The two guys are walking with him. One was a blonde guy. One was a brunette guy while they're walking they get out of the train one of the kids steps back and plugs him in the back of the head they throw the gun and run of course they filed the serial numbers off the gun they both get away
Starting point is 01:06:16 how would they even have found it anyway the fingerprints and all that wasn't a technology yet I don't yeah well they could trace it from the serial numbers of where it was purchased so that's why they filed off the. I think they had fingerprints at that point. Oh, the kid also had a silk glove on. He threw the glove. But it's so 1930s that the kid just ran away and got away. Yeah. I mean, nowadays, nobody's getting away. No, no.
Starting point is 01:06:36 They'll get a they'll get a piece of your hair or something. You're something you're done. So both these kids get away. One of the one somebody on the train tries to pursue one of the other suspects and he gets blocked by a priest, a guy in a collar. Turns out this was like a 15 person operation. Really? And there was plants there to help like run defense to make these guys get away. So they both get away and they disappear into the crowds or whatever. Nobody ever actually knows who did it or why. Now, here's the situation with this kid, Cenk Legle.
Starting point is 01:07:07 The press gets really scared, right? And the press is like, holy shit. Cause like I said, this was a time where reporters were like untouchable people. They were like diplomats. You couldn't arrest them. They were like untouchable. You couldn't fuck with the press and nobody did. And now we got a murdered reporter in Chicago during the beer wars, during prohibition, during the
Starting point is 01:07:26 height of Al Capone's heyday, during the gang wars. Bodies everywhere in Chicago at this point. Fucking crime happening, murders happening. So the press in Chicago kind of, you know, they're competing with each other. But because they got a dead reporter,
Starting point is 01:07:42 they all kind of get on the same page and say, we got to find who did this and make this a thing. Because they killed one of our boys. They're basically going, you took one of our boys. Yeah, you can't do that. So they put out a jihad, basically. Yep. On the mob. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:58 On the underworld. And they started just fucking shaking guys down. The cops started really, and even the police commissioner, Russell, was like, we're going to make this play. He famously said, this place is going to be squeaky quiet. He's like, they started really giving people a problem. You know what I mean? They knew who the guys were. They knew who the underworld
Starting point is 01:08:13 guys were, but nobody was coming forward saying how this kid got killed and who did it. Now, as this went on, all the papers started to put rewards up for whoever comes forward with the people who murdered. This is what your ward fucking Chicago Tribune offers 25. Then whatever other,
Starting point is 01:08:30 um, gazettes, media outlets, whatever you want to call them. They're all offering. The reward ends up being like 55, 60 grand combined. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:39 A lot of money. Hell yeah. A lot of money. A lot of money now. It's not Al Capone money, but you know, it's like Pete Davidson money. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:44 Yeah. So, um, so as time goes on and they're looking for these killers and it's like front page paper and the war on the underworld is going on and the police are cracking down. There's some muckrakers, muckrakers, or muckrakers like a guy who, you know, pulls up information, a good journalist. Okay. They start looking into this kid. They start looking into Jake Lengel, right, who's now fucking famous.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah. He was an unknown reporter, now he's famous. And they start to find all this information on this kid. Kid had a diamond to start with when he got killed, right? He had nine grand in his pocket, cash. Cash. Which, which, I'm no mathematician. Yeah. I'm no I'm no mathematician. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:25 I'm no mathematician out of 14. Yeah. But nine grand in 1931, that's going to get you a nice house in Bay Ridge. 100%. That's a lot of cash.
Starting point is 01:09:32 That's the money, that's what I got back from my baby mama's engagement ring. Nine grand cash. It's a lot of cash. Yeah. It's fucking cash.
Starting point is 01:09:40 So why is this fucking lowly reporter who's getting paid 65, what'd I say it was? $65 a week. $65 a week. Thanks, Mikey. I appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:09:51 So he's getting paid $65 a week. Why does he have nine grand cash in his pocket? He's got a belt on. What's he got on that belt? He's got diamond, all fucking 14 carat or whatever. It's good. I'm no, I'm no screwed in kid. So I don't know about diamonds.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Yeah. Kid's got an expelled expensive belt on. Turns out, what was this belt? Where do you get the belt? Gift from Al Capone. Wow. This kid is plugged in, plugged in. He's plugged in with politicians, police commissioner.
Starting point is 01:10:22 The reporter. This, we're talking about Jake Lingle. Yeah. Who the, who the episode's about. Lot of 14. Yeah. Jake Lingle. He's, he's plugged in with politicians, police commissioner, the reporter. This we're talking about Jake Lingle. Yeah. Who the who the episode's about. A lot of 14. Yeah. Jake Lingle. He's he's plugged in.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Another reporter, you know, finds out. Is that the Blake? But look at that fucking thing. That's a reporter wearing that. Only a sauce monkey because Italians love their jewelry. They love that shit. You want to hear something? Paul Verzi's father is we, you know, we talked about him in the aliens are wild episode.
Starting point is 01:10:45 He's an Italian kid from the Bronx, you know, and of course he's an Italian kid from the Bronx, so he's just racist. He's an Italian kid and he's from the Bronx and he grew up in like the Bronx tale era, but one thing he did say to Paul, he goes, you know, I tell you what, these black kids, they know their jewelry. Yeah. He said, one thing these fucking rappers, they go with it, they know their fucking jewelry. Yeah. Because, you know, he's got a pinky ring
Starting point is 01:11:02 the whole deal. Yeah. So that is an Italian belt buckle, right? Yeah. Can we throw that up on the let's take a picture of that for the Instagram. Send that to me. So like what we put on Patreon or whatever. So the kid they start researching his connection to the police commissioner, to politicians,
Starting point is 01:11:18 to judges, and worst of all, to fucking the mafia. Al Capone even later said in like 30 or 31, he goes, yeah, that's one of my guys. A good guy. But he says, we don't know. We didn't kill him. He goes, but the police know who do, who did.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Now, this is a kid who always seemed to have the scoop. He was plugged in. Also was a gambler, owed a lot of people money that started to come out. He owed a lot of legit businessmen and mobsters money. So he was borrowing a lot of money, probably had a gambling problem. To this day, much like Charlie Ross, or no, what was the other big one we did
Starting point is 01:11:53 where we didn't never knew who did it? Jack the Ripper? Jack the Ripper. We did a few of these good ones. This is another good find. Yeah. They don't know who, at the end of the day,
Starting point is 01:12:01 some kid got arrested. The kid that got arrested, his name, what was his fucking name? Leo Brothers. Okay. They arrested some fucking small time thug, Leo Brothers, who was like in St. Louis or whatever. But it wasn't him.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Historians think he just took the rap. He said like 14 years, I'll do that. 14 years. He goes, I'll do that standing on my head. No big deal. And then he lived out, he died in St. Louis of a heart attack. He was some low level mobster. So it's like nobody knows. Some other kid got
Starting point is 01:12:27 arrested because they traced the gun to him. Some other fucking kid. You can Google it. Big deal. He ended up getting off the kid who they traced the gun sale to I think the other gun or something, some shit. But he got off some other kid. It could have been he got off
Starting point is 01:12:43 at the end of the day. Nobody really knows who did it. the interesting thing and why i bring it up is it could have been the cops right this could have been the cops those kids could have been the cops because he was he was taking money from all sides he was a kid who always seemed to know the crimes group this is like a real la confidential kind of story right you remember remember what's his name the kid who likes to find a little boys or he got accused of it i I mean, who? Jared Fogle? No, not Jared Fogle. Not little boys. I mean, he's like, you know, he's he's been considered a sexual predator by me, too. And he was in I'm just I haven't Spacey Kevin. I have early onset bad. Yeah. Because you think that this is a problem that I can't pull up a name like Kevin Spacey? No, because I think I think it's
Starting point is 01:13:23 a professional medical opinion. My professional man, am I think I think it's a professional medical opinion. My professional. Am I going to have Alzheimer's? You could. But even if you do, it's OK, because you got to just live in the moment. Don't worry about it. I'm listening to this guy. I think his name is sued guru or sad guru, the Indian guy.
Starting point is 01:13:43 And he's been really helping me out with a lot of like just staying in the moment stuff. Is he an Eastern Hemi? He's an Eastern Hemi. No, he's, uh, he's, um,
Starting point is 01:13:48 he's a Sandra D. Oh, he's a Sandra D. Yeah. I sent him. I sent him. That's what he is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:57 So, uh, like I said, this kid was plugged in with, uh, police commissioner, Russell deputy commissioner, Stiggy or Steg or whatever. And this was from paid nudes.
Starting point is 01:14:07 And it came out that this kid's got all types of connections to the underworld. So this was a real kind of black eye. Right. You know, it ended up being this crusade to protect journalists. But this kid ended up being, you know what? Fake news. Yeah. It's just what it is, your fake news.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Your fucking crumbum. Yeah, he ended up being fucking fake news. And the story kind of changed a little bit. Those facts started to come out and the story changed. Of course, the reporters still tried to say we still need to capture the people who did this. But the public kind of turned because this was like the public got it. Much like Charlie Ross, the public was like this was unheard of. Right. To kill a journalist. Yeah. This was national news and front page news in Chicago.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Right. But then it turned out this fucking reporter was corrupt and on the take. Yeah. And he the public opinion started to sway to like he kind of got what he deserved. So it's a very interesting story. That's very interesting. It's what it is. Mike, you got something to say? You look like you were just getting ready for something.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Should we make some calls? We got to call some people. Can we call the first person we like to call? Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, $25 members. We give them a call live on the podcast. And if you don't know, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, our lowest tier $5 members. You get an extra episode every week. So if you want to hear further details about Jake, Jake Lingle, Jake Lingle and Al Capone in Chicago in their 30s.
Starting point is 01:15:48 Go join Patreon.com, our $5 level. You get an extra bonus episode. Those episodes are, I mean, if you could join now, what do we have, like 100 episodes to binge? It's sick. There's like 100 plus episodes you can binge. And even if you join at the $5 level, our lowest level, there's like 70 plus episodes to binge and a few other pieces of content because every week there is a
Starting point is 01:16:07 bonus episode on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys where we just do all types of things a lot of 14. Alright, let's call Nicole Stevenson. Okay. I don't know. this is just people sitting in their car listening to skype ringing skyping it's nice yeah it's peaceful hello hey nicole stevenson what's up this is uh chris de stefano and janice papas from the history hyenas how you doing oh i'm good i'm good how I'm good. How about you?
Starting point is 01:17:05 Good. Do you accept Donald Trump as your lord and savior? Um, I mean, Trump 2020, of course. Wow! York. I can't support Trump. Exactly. Where are you from? I'm from Maryland, but I live in Manhattan.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Wow! Do you go to Bryant Park and get margarita? Bryant Park? No, I'm by Washington Square Park. I'm at lunch right now. Oh, wow. You're by us. Oh, yeah. Don't say that because Krista Teacher,
Starting point is 01:17:37 if you see a man in a Mets jersey sweating from his forehead, that's Krista Teacher. Please run the other way. Because you just gave your location. Yeah, you just gave your location. Yeah, you just gave your location and out of there. Yeah, Chris the teacher's on the way right now to Union Square Park to find you. Yeah, no, Washington Square Park, Washington Square Park.
Starting point is 01:17:52 Wow, that's cool. We're so close to you. Do you want to have lunch? Baby, what? Yeah, we're going to go to Joe's pizza. Baby, you want to you want to get a slice? I'll get some meat. Yeah. What do you do for work, babe? I work as a paralegal at a law firm
Starting point is 01:18:07 oh that's fucking good job yeah it's a good job but like you know it sucks you know right pays the bills but like gross what's your favorite moment of the podcast so far what did you like best I think I liked my first episode that I ever
Starting point is 01:18:24 listened to which was the Queen Elizabeth one that is mostly because when I listened to it I had no idea what the fuck you guys were saying and now I feel like I've grown so much I understand now you know what's going on now there is totally a language and a culture to our podcast
Starting point is 01:18:39 that you have to become familiar you gotta listen to a couple episodes to kind of figure out what everything means yeah get into it I tried to recommend it to my friend and she was like absolutely no You have to listen to a couple episodes to kind of figure out what everything means. Yeah, get into it. I tried to recommend it to my friend and she was like, absolutely not. Hey, this is Mike. This is not Yanis because I'm a married kid, so I just want to say you sound
Starting point is 01:18:54 like a piece. Oh, thanks. I think I am. You're from Rome. Are you single? I got to give a shout out to my boyfriend Chris. I'm not going to tell him that you called because I want him to listen first because he loves you guys. Yeah. He is also a piece, a screwed in kid at med school right now.
Starting point is 01:19:12 Wow. Wow. Tell Chris if he wants. This is Chrissy D. Tell Chris if he wants. Chris will crack him open, too. Yeah, I'll crack him open. Or I could just tuck my dick back and he can fuck me in the ass and make believe it's you.
Starting point is 01:19:25 He's not going to let you in his lap. But listen, you're a screwed in kid. You're not going to be a paralegal for long because your boy's going to med school. So pretty soon you're just going to be a fucking Bay Ridge housewife. Yeah, basically. Alright, babe. Love you. Thanks so much for listening.
Starting point is 01:19:41 We love you, babe. Yeah. Look, Chris, you're listening right now. Let We love you, babe. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Let me look. Chris, you're listening right now. Let me tell you right now. You got a good woman on your hands. Yeah. Because she did the I got a boyfriend rule in like less than three seconds.
Starting point is 01:19:56 Yeah. No, she's smart. Yeah. And we were just joking. You know, we don't care. We call everybody a piece. We don't even know who she is. No, but I'm sure she's a piece. She sounds like I mean, Mike Emoji's a piece. We're all pieces. Let's go, Mike. I mean, all right. We're gonna call Michael Labine. Yeah. I'm a fucking piece sure she's a piece. She sounds like a piece. I mean, Mike Emoji's a piece. We're all pieces. Let's go, Mike. I mean, all right. We're going to call Michael Labine. Yeah, I'm a fucking piece. You are a piece. I'm a fucking cute kid. But you know when a girl does that
Starting point is 01:20:11 when she goes like, and I just want to give a shout out to my boyfriend real quick. Yes, she's a loyal girl. Yeah, that's a loyal girl. All right. We got to hurry up. We got to we got to hurry up. This kid pick up. We got to hurry up because Chris is hitting his own Heybert time limit. I can see it in his face. The kid is fucking fed up. Did this kid pick up? Yeah, we got to hurry up because Chris is hitting his own Haybert time limit. I can see it in his face.
Starting point is 01:20:26 The kid is fucking fed up. Catholic guilt Chrissy? Yeah. What's up, cuz? How you doing? What up, cuzzy wuzzy? Where do you live? Minneapolis.
Starting point is 01:20:39 What? Minneapolis, Minnesota. Wow. Yeah, I'm fucking coming out that way Soon, do you like Minneapolis? Minneapolis is okay, man You're gonna go to the Mall of America It's where that house of comedy is
Starting point is 01:20:52 They haven't put your tickets up to say yet Because I have them Friday But it's basically like For the people who go to the Impractical Jokers cruise Let's see them at the mall Let's just be as princes from out there, right? Yeah, yeah, princes from How about, I don out there, right? Yeah. Yeah, Prince is from out there. Eat a little Juicy Lucy.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Yeah, I was about to say, you could just be honest and say from, you know, November to May, you want to stick a revolver in your face. I mean, you guys get that cold weather out there. But I mean, we basically live in a polar vortex where, yeah, people are just kind of depressed. And everybody else, well, Chris has got big tries to push it down the gate. We got big tries to push everything inside. That's what it is. We're just sad for six months of the year. What do you do for work?
Starting point is 01:21:37 I'm a mortgage processor. I push paperwork around to get people's money being approved. Yeah, that's what you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sound like the mom from Bobby's World. His accent, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:51 I mean, who are you presently cracking open and cleaning out? You got a girlfriend? Yeah. What are you doing? You know, I had an Eastern Hemi girlfriend for a little bit, and we're kind of off and on right now. I've been in the wheel. Wow.
Starting point is 01:22:05 Chrissy's got a new Eastern Hemi girlfriend too that he went to Salty Dog with. Yeah, I went to Salty Dog with my new Eastern Hemi girlfriend. She's a Jap
Starting point is 01:22:11 and then the first episode she listened to was the Pearl Harbor one. Come on. Japanese. I was trying to tell my friends about the history I in and I'm showing everybody
Starting point is 01:22:20 the Pearl Harbor podcast and I think it's a little too wild for everybody. Yeah, that's not the first. You don't start them off. Yeah, don't start off with that one yet. Yeah, we've we've made a couple of calls saying it seems like people's friends are not enjoying our podcast. Have you found that it's a hard time?
Starting point is 01:22:34 I have a bunch of friends that I enjoy. Now, I spread the podcast out to three or four of my really good friends that, you know, we are all just podcast listeners. A lot of us work from home and whatnot. And people love the history hyenas are out here. Yeah. When you guys do go wild. Yeah and whatnot. And people love the history hyenas are out here. Yeah. Keep up. Right. When you guys do go wild.
Starting point is 01:22:47 Yeah. Well, it is called the history hyenas. And as you know, we're wild, especially Chrissy. He's a fucking wild kid. I mean,
Starting point is 01:22:54 the kid is transgendered. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. The, the, the, I mean,
Starting point is 01:22:59 there's so many great, so great, but the, I mean, Pearl Harbor is going to be my favorite. Hey, boo! All right, puppets. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Was Wei Shunqing button broken during that one, or what? Yeah, well, we were supposed to cackle stuff, and, you know, Zach was doing bars and shit, so... It was 4th of July. It was 4th of July. That's what it is. All right, cuz cuz you reached the
Starting point is 01:23:25 time limit so I'm sorry alright see you later go back to your Minnesota home alright see you later kid's a good fan cuz he haybirded himself when you haybird yourself we know you're a super fan yeah and listen if you're listening to us a lot of people love the calls
Starting point is 01:23:42 cuz we go wild but listen when you recommend to your friends, you're a history hyena fan now. So you know you don't start with Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Start with something light. Start with something light. Maybe start with any Greek episode. Battle of Crete.
Starting point is 01:23:57 I was going to say, I think that's a great starter episode of the Battle of Crete. It's actually great that we just said this on the podcast so everyone hears it. If you're going to recommend it to your friends, start with Battle of Crete and let them work their way all the way to Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Let them get familiar with fucking Wild Chrissy. Yeah. Call her Lindsay Pouch.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Think of Battle of Crete as this nice salad. And then when you, you know, then you have a nice appetizer, a little calamari with maybe Queen Elizabeth. And then you just don't know you're in Nigeria and you're eating monkey brains. Hello?
Starting point is 01:24:33 Wait, who is this? What's your name? Don't tell me to hold out. I'll discipline you. Okay, okay. By myself, I'll take his first call. Who is this? What's your name? Lindsay. Oh my God. This is Chris. This is Chris Stefano,
Starting point is 01:24:49 a.k.a. King Gay and Giannis Pompous with a history hyenas. We want to thank you for your service. Why are you whispering? What are you doing? You flicking the bean? I'm at work, bro. I'm at work. Oh, what do you work? She was whispering like she was like kidnapped by a serial killer. Where do you work? What? Where do you work, babe? I work in Oh, what do you work? She was whispering like she was like kidnapped by a serial killer.
Starting point is 01:25:05 Where do you work? What? Where do you work, babe? I work. I work in Seattle, man. I'm surrounded by granolas. I know. You're whispering like there's an intruder in your house.
Starting point is 01:25:14 You're trying to tell the cops. And then I just go and stay on the phone with us. Seattle's a good city. I'm surrounded by granolas. Oh, granolas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lakeside maple. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:25 So are you whispering because you're a Trump voter and you're in Portland? I'm in Seattle, but yeah, pretty much. I can't, you know, I got to keep my job. I got to pay my Patreon bill. I can't get fired. Chrissy can arrange for a helicopter to get you out of there so we can take you
Starting point is 01:25:40 to fucking... Yeah, my baby mama's new boyfriend, I think he owns like a limo company or something so we can take you yeah my baby mama's new boyfriend I think he owns like a limo company or something so we can get you a limo babe babe babe babe babe wait listen babe what's been your favorite podcast of the favorite moment of the
Starting point is 01:25:57 potty waddy so far I mean just all of them are so good not a bad one but I gotta say Spartacus was wild Spartacus was a good one. Now, next time you come to New York, do you want to get comfy one-foot with me in my love sack?
Starting point is 01:26:12 Sure. How old are you, babe? You sound like a girl in her 20s. You are correct. 22. Wow! She's a young kid. Wow, she's ice at this age. Yeah, 22-year year old kid, young kid Fucking future right ahead of you
Starting point is 01:26:27 Good for you babe Now this is the question we've been asking all our callers Gun in your head, you got one choice You want to live, you got to crack open Zach ISIS or Mike Emojiface Who's getting cracked open and cleaned out Yeah I got to go with Zach ISIS
Starting point is 01:26:44 Wow Why? What's the reasoning? I gotta go with Zach Isis wow why what's the reasoning I haven't seen Mike because Mike Emoji Faces anime design
Starting point is 01:26:53 is stupid yeah no what's the reason who knows six of one half a dozen of the other true
Starting point is 01:27:03 right you're in a bad situation both ways you've reached the hey bird time limit babe we just want to say thank you so much for your service and go back to work around those granolas keep whispering keep doing your thing Trump 2020
Starting point is 01:27:14 okay bye Wei Zhongxian Zach please just clear the Trump stuff yeah just Wei Zhongxian me and Chris are Bernie supporters yeah we love Bernie I voted for fucking beta male O'Rourke. Yeah, I'm going for Kamala Harris. Yeah, same.
Starting point is 01:27:30 Yeah. Alright, do we have one more call? We have two more calls. Okay, hurry up. This is Danny Possibly Jihad. Should we do a shirt that says, I want to be here? Yeah, that would be a funny shirt. I want to be here? Yeah. I want to be here. This. That would be a funny shirt. I want to be here? Yeah. I want to be here.
Starting point is 01:27:47 Oh, this is Danny Jihad? Yeah, possibly Jihad. Yeah. Hello? What's up, Danny? Possibly Jihad. This is Chrissy D and Yanni P from the History Hyenas.
Starting point is 01:27:59 What's up, buddy? How are you? What are you doing? I mean, that kid is, he's a sociopath. That kid has no emotion. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's taking a call like a sociopath. That kid has no emotion. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:07 He's taking a call like it's fucking from his dad who calls him every 10 minutes. The kid is not happy at all. You're talking to Chrissy D and Yanni P. This is the greatest thing that ever happened in your life. Sorry, guys. Just, I'm about 30 feet in the air and I do not feel safe up here at all. Wow. What do you mean? What's going on? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:28:24 I do a HVAC installation for work and yeah. Oh, so you're high up in the air. You may not have want to take this call. Yeah, but you still took the call anyway because you're fucking wild. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because you're really hot. Where are you doing
Starting point is 01:28:39 HVAC? What stadium? Because don't fall. Tulsa, Oklahoma. But if you do fall, keep your phone on because it'll be good Patreon content. Yeah. Yeah, cuz. Yeah. So you're in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yeah, so okay, you put in HVAC.
Starting point is 01:28:57 You're in Tulsa, Oklahoma, so if you do fall, it's kind of an improvement. Yeah. Yeah, cuz. I mean, what's it going to do in Tulsa, Oklahoma? I'm talking to you guys. Now, are you What's he gonna do in Tulsa? I'm talking to you guys. Yeah, I mean, now, are you a white kid, a black kid,
Starting point is 01:29:09 a Puerto Rican kid? What are you? I mean, he's in Oklahoma. He's a white kid. I'm Mexican, but I look white. White. Mexican, but you look white. Yeah, now,
Starting point is 01:29:15 he's an undercover white walker. He's an undercover white walker. Yeah. Yeah, now, you got a girlfriend? What are you doing? No, right now, I'm pretty single,
Starting point is 01:29:24 you know, just banging out some to single, you know, just banging out some toots, you know, just living the life. It's called Chrissy D's style. Yeah, it's called Spinning the Wheel. Yeah, you have a little Spin the Wheel Saturdays. Do you want to come to Nantucket tomorrow with me and Deebo? Get on a JetBlue flight.
Starting point is 01:29:42 Yeah, me and Deebo going to Nantucket. He's a short guy He fucking He's got the same size Suitcase as my daughter But he's a But he's a pilot For JetBlue
Starting point is 01:29:54 Yeah Alright cuz Listen you reached The Haybird time limit Just real quick Before you've fallen Out of the HVAC unit What's been your favorite
Starting point is 01:30:00 Moment of the pod Probably the one Where you just Go wild last episode. The one about Harper and Harper and just start calling everybody, you know, Japanese. Yeah, he called them that. That's exactly what he called them.
Starting point is 01:30:14 Way so. Really fucking wild on that one. Yeah. But you liked it though. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Well, here's the deal. You guys are the shit. We figured out, if you're going to recommend the podcast to people, don't start with that episode. Yeah, start with Battle of Crete and let them work their way up to that. Yeah, start off
Starting point is 01:30:29 with a little... Yeah, definitely. Okay, if you had to crack open Mike Emojiface or Zeitgeist, which one would you crack it open? And why? Man, I have to take... I think I have to take Zeitgeist, because he's a little piece himself. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Thanks, brother. Alright, thanks, man. Thanks for your service. Stay alive alive thank god that kid didn't
Starting point is 01:30:46 fall alive on air yeah I mean but if it would have been real nice to get that on air it would yeah it would have been real good Taylor cuz are we just gonna create that $5,000 patreon level where we just prostitute you out for five grand you get the bank Christy yeah
Starting point is 01:31:01 yeah who is this Taylor Taylor what's up babe and you get to bang Christy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who is this? Taylor. Taylor. What's up, babe? I'm doing so amazing. I wanted to tell you that I have chlamydia.
Starting point is 01:31:17 Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. I just found out two days ago. Oh, my God. How did it? I mean, this girl's fucking wild. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:25 I want to fucking marry you. Holy shit. Holy shit. Now, what happened? Just because I've had chlamydia too. Did you have a burn when you peed? No, I had no symptoms, but I went to go get birth control at Planned Parenthood and I got a call the next day saying I got chlamydia. You got the fucking clap,
Starting point is 01:31:42 huh? Fucking shit. Who do you think did it? Yeah. Do you know who did it? It's me, I think, because I never used protection. No, I'm saying, but do you know the guy? Do you know the guy who cracked you open? I think she's been a lot. Yeah, she's saying there's too many to choose
Starting point is 01:31:58 from. How many in the last month? How many times have we went raw, dog? Let's say month. 10. 10. Yeah, yeah, dog? Let's say month. 10. 10, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your 22, though. 25. Yeah, it's just what happens.
Starting point is 01:32:11 You just get banged out. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Is your name Krista DiStefano? Yeah, sure. You sound like the female version of Chrissy D. You're spinning the wheel. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:23 I love it. I mean, well, when you, after the antibiotics, I mean, I'd love to invite you to New York. Yeah, I was going to say, do you guys want to crack each other open and clean each other out and see if both your chlamydia's cancel each other out? Yeah. Do you want to do that? Maybe two positives equal a negative. Yeah. You want to have a chlamydia fast?
Starting point is 01:32:39 Because maybe. I actually fancy myself some yannies. Wow. This is a girl with lower standards. Let me ask you a question. Where do you live? I live in Orange County. LA? Cali?
Starting point is 01:32:54 Orange County. The nicer part of California. How old are you? You sound like a young kid. 25. 25 year old kid. Ice's age. She's older than Ice's. I go to the comedy store a lot and I actually
Starting point is 01:33:07 met Brian Callen and he invited me to go to a taping of Fight Area and the Kid One. Did he crack you open? No, he wanted to crack my mom open though. Wow. When we went to go see him, she was like, no one is fucking Brian Callen tonight, okay?
Starting point is 01:33:24 Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, well, you know what? We appreciate you being a fucking loyal member of the Patreon and listen, if there's a time where you need to pause your membership because you got to pay for antibiotics, you can do that. No, it's okay.
Starting point is 01:33:39 I enjoy supporting you guys. I just, I would like there to be more fart on the podcast. Absolutely. You missed the fart. I like this girl. Now, if I come to LA, is there a chance we've come to Comedy Store? Can I crack you open or your mom open or you're just not that into me? You can have my mom. She's only 42. She's pretty cute. But yeah, not me
Starting point is 01:33:56 because you're not into me. You like Yanni. She likes older guys. She likes guys with Alzheimer's. Yeah. Okay. Wow. She wrapped us up thank you Taylor love you Taylor thank you so much
Starting point is 01:34:10 for being a part of the podcast thank you for your service thank you I love when the fans she's great she's great Taylor I love when they give us the hey Bert
Starting point is 01:34:16 she just went what was her name Taylor what Taylor may or may not have fumes yeah she's a funny girl funny funny girl Taylor Taylor we love you alright well thank you
Starting point is 01:34:24 listen that's how you write. Yeah, let's just say Taylor, fucking make the guys wear it. I mean, come on. Yeah, put a ring on it. You gotta glove up. Yeah, glove up, okay? You gotta glove up.
Starting point is 01:34:31 All right, thanks guys for listening. Appreciate it. History Hyenas on Instagram, Christy Comedy and Yanis Pappas on Instagram. What is yours on Instagram? At Mike V. Suarez. At Mike V. Suarez. And then Zachy?
Starting point is 01:34:42 At Z the Dropout underscore. And my new website, yanispappascomedy.com for dates fuck yeah ស្រូវនប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.

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