History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 79 - Jake Lingle was WILD!
Episode Date: July 14, 2019The boys discuss Jake Lingle and things get wild!! Who is Jake Lingle? You don’t want to miss who this wild kid was. Wild tale! Alfred "Jake" Lingle, Jr. was an American reporter for the Chicago Tri...bune. He was shot dead gangland-style in the underpass leading to the Illinois Central Randolph Street station on the afternoon on June 9, 1930, as dozens of people watched. The man convicted of the murder was German-American mob associate Leo Vincent Brothers.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. Well, hello, hyenas.
It is the history, hyenas.
Four Guys Venetia come back from Greece soon. Comeenas. Four guys, Venetia. Come back from Greece
soon. Come back. I want to crack
you open. Yeah, we're
just too many guys. That's just four guys
in here. But you know what? We're diverse.
We're missing a girl. They're almost there.
Yeah, we're fucking we're happy.
We're ready to go.
We just missed Venetia. We need a girl in here
to fulfill our fucking quota.
Yeah, I need a woman.
Yeah.
Today is going to be a wild, wild podcast.
Holy shit, yeah.
Yeah, it's going to be wild.
I shit my pants on the way to Atlantic City.
Yeah, you did.
And I called Chrissy and I said, am I having a heart attack?
I was in full FF mode on my way to Atlantic City.
Cuz, you called me and told me that you took a shit in your pants and you
asked me, you were on Bluetooth
and you said, is anyone in the car? And I said no.
And there were three people in the car.
And then you started spilling your beans to me.
You're a liar. You're a dirty liar.
Yeah, you told me. Yeah, and my mother, if my mother
listens to the podcast, she's very upset that I lied. I'm sorry, mom.
That's the least that he's done.
Does she still go by
Mrs. DeStefano? She does still go by Mrs. DeStefano she does still go by Mrs. DeStefano
or is she just Miss Kerner
no she wants to go by Mrs. DeStefano
because she didn't want me to
have a different last name than her
she didn't want kids to ask questions in school
but now I'm in my mid 30s and she still hasn't changed her last name
everything that woman has done
she's done for her son
everything she's done she's done for her son
and she's also got a nice little house waiting for you in ridgewood uh and she doesn't
fully understand gentrification but she does know that the values come up because a lot of jews have
stopped by uh with yarmulkes on and said that they will pay her in cash for that building yeah
hasidic jews they come with notes and they are sort of like handwritten notes and they said we'll buy
this house in cash yeah and then uh and then she doesn't know what to do so i what i do is i just i call she called me she says what am i supposed
to do you know should i should i let them buy the money and i said no let them buy the house no i
said no i said you next time they fucking show up like that you just you get away shark sheen button
ready yeah i said i can see it in your face i know know it's coming. You just get the fucking fire extinguisher and fucking put out the dew flames.
Way song she ain't.
La Fuente.
Yeah, it's a character piece.
Yeah, La Fuente.
Way song she ain't.
Yeah, anyone who knocks on your door and says, you know, what is a nice building you have here that can pay you in cash?
Those kids are screwed in.
Screwed in.
No, no, no.
And they're trying to make a screwed in move.
No, my mom said that she will eventually sell, but she wants
me to handle it.
Well, let me ask you a question.
Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
When your mom and I decide that they want to
sell a building, they want to sell
the DiStefano household. What was Victor's
last name? Molina.
Molina slash DiStefano
house.
How do you slice the house up up is it on the fifth or sixth
step yeah where does the where does the split who has more square footage is it on the fifth and a
half step is it above the fifth or sixth step six um cuz i don't yeah i think it's probably gonna
be above the sixth step um will be my territory but then we're gonna have to figure out because
like i'm gonna want you, my part of the house.
And then, yeah, my cousins.
Yeah, that's going to be a weird thing.
How we're going to.
Here's my question.
We're going to split this up.
Yeah.
You haven't thought about it yet.
And that's why I'm bringing it up because I'm trying to help you and your family.
Yeah.
I want to avoid problems down the line.
So here's my question.
Yeah.
On what step would you be able to say and be accurate?
Get out of my house.
And then when I step one step down,
am I out officially of your house?
What am I off your property?
What are you off?
Oh yeah.
What am I at a Lynn's house?
Yeah.
I would say the neutrals.
Yeah.
On the neutrals,
I would say below the fifth step.
I think we need to,
we need to have a family meeting and we need to designate where the UN line of
division is and which steps belong to Eileen and which steps belong to Lynn.
Yeah.
I agree.
Let's do that.
We got to get,
cause that's never been settled.
Yeah.
Cause,
but you know,
I probably think though,
if my mother's,
if I sold that house and all that money that I would get,
I would put money into Lila's college fund.
And then I probably would just spend it. The rest on toots. Yeah. I think that's money that I would get. I would put money into Lila's college fund and then I probably would just spend it the rest on toots.
Yeah, I think that's just what you would do.
It's just what it was. I just take toots out every night for drinks
and burgers, not listen to what they're telling me.
I'm just trying to touch their tits in the salty dog.
Character
piece, a lot of 14.
A bar in Bay Ridge.
Yeah, no, what we would like to say on
this podcast is any of the things
that you hear are not based on real events.
They are caricaturizations of our imagination.
If anything sounds similar, it's pure coincidence.
Let me just tell the people.
Let me tell them.
I went on a date the other night with an Eastern Hemi.
Half Eastern Hemi.
Half Eastern Hemi, half Eastern Hemi. And she actually is her family is Japanese.
And her grandparents met in an intern internment camps in an internment camp during during World War Two, when the Japanese unfortunately provoked the good guys.
And and and anyway, she went on a date and we had a lovely time.
And then she tells me 10 minutes into the date that the first episode of history ahina she's ever listened to was pearl harbor was wild
where i said that i would put her ancestors in a microwave look ass okay but she said you were
just joking we were just joking we were just joking but you know what she said to me she's
like i can tell that you guys are just having a good time and it's funny she's like i couldn't
laugh at the japanese stuff because i am japanese she was like but it was pretty funny
to hear about it from you know that point from a few from a few of the good guys yeah because i
said listen because the thing is is like it's like they know everybody makes mistakes you know it's
like it's like listen us we shouldn't have dropped a nuclear bomb on your country absolutely not that
was wrong that was 100 i'm gonna say maybe maybe yeah maybe yeah no that was thank you yeah it's just
what it is yeah no we shouldn't have turned your country into a lean cuisine that was bad maybe
maybe but you as a japanese shouldn't have raped the entire country of china you should have done
that let's not just we can't just skip over that little fact that most people skip over yeah it's
like and we covered it last episode yeah just real quick, it's like. And we covered it last episode. Yeah, just real quick.
Yeah, it's like I'm not saying, you know, right now we're at a place where it's like
we all love everybody and everything's all cool.
But it's like there's two sides to every story.
Yeah.
OK.
And Chris wants the lunch special.
Yeah, I want the lunch.
Give me a bento box.
Give me a bento box.
And make no mistake, that girl who I went on a date with, I'm obviously would never
mention your name, but you're a new listener to the podcast.
You're going to get cracked open.
Here's the thing.
Japanese culture is beautiful.
We love all these things that happen in history.
Horrible things.
Yeah.
Thank God we've moved past it.
And that's why we're making jokes about it.
Everybody.
Yeah.
Just don't.
But at the end of the day,
you know what you did.
I'm just saying,
you know,
just listen,
if you're,
if you're upset about our last podcast and you're from
Japanese,
your Japanese heritage, just put your fucking hair up in about our last podcast and you're from Japanese heritage,
just put your fucking hair up in a bun with two chopsticks
and fucking go take a walk.
Wei Zhongzhen.
Wei Zhongzhen.
Chris, you can't be, you can't
stay on the rails.
I was just kidding.
I mean, you're on this
and you just take hard right
turns. I don't know where you're going.
I was just kidding.
Cause just fucking yeah.
Just go paint your face with fucking
powdered donuts.
The internment camps were fucked up
because we just put American citizens there.
Yeah, but no, we had to put them on hold
just to make sure.
Her parents met at an internment camp.
That's game right there.
Were they really
literally in an internment camp in America?
No, yeah, yeah. Because one of them was Italian.
No, no, yeah, but that was the other side
of the family. They left the family.
They left
a couple of weeks before Hiroshima
and they got out and they came
from Japan. While Japan was at an active war with the U.S., the U.S. let them in. um they left a couple of weeks before hiroshima uh and they got out and they came from japan while
japan was at an active war with the u.s the u.s let them in yeah the u.s let them in but they had
to go to the internment camps you know you had to you couldn't just like let them in they had to
kind of answer a few questions you know you had to be on hold a little bit i think probably in
what san francisco is that where the internment camps were yeah yeah the big one they met at
whatever the big one was but yeah no so i'm happy that uh i'm happy that that it all worked out and she's you know what she's a japanese broad half japanese half italian
but she said she loves cooking italian food so that's interesting absolutely yeah that's
interesting look sushi's delicious yeah japanese coach is beautiful yeah she's great we're making
light of a lot of this stuff that's happened in the past we're just kidding yeah we're just joking
but you know yeah at the end of the day, like, again, just repeat one last time. Yeah.
The Japanese did rape China.
Absolutely.
And you did some bad things and you know what you did.
And listen, and obviously now there's obviously that was in the past and that was brutal.
But there's new enemies now.
And obviously our new enemies now are anybody from the Middle East and the women's U.S. national team.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
Megan Rapinoe and anybody named Osama is just a fucking enemy.
Yeah, look, Japanese are our friends now, actually.
Yeah, they're our friends.
Yeah, I was just kidding.
It's just what it is.
Yeah, I was just kidding.
No, shout out to the U.S. women's national team, even though, you know, fucking fuck you.
You're not invited to the White House anyway.
Because I'm going to be in San Diego with Mike Emoji Face.
Really? San Antonio. San Antonio. What did I just call it? San Diego with Mike. Mike. Mike Emoji Face is really San Antonio.
San Antonio.
What I just call it.
San Diego.
So I mean, I just don't.
I got early onset.
I just we just don't care about the state of Texas in New York enough.
Yeah.
And the state of Texas is a big part of the United States.
It's a big.
Yeah.
We got to start giving it more respect.
They try.
They keep trying to succeed.
They don't want to be part of the United States.
I want to just be their own fucking.
I support them.
Do you think that we should let them succeed? Yeah. They shouldn't have to be part of the United States. They want to just be their own fucking... I support them. Do you think that we should let them secede?
Texas? Yeah. If they want to secede,
they shouldn't have to be exposed to this cuckery anymore.
What are we going to do? Yeah.
Honestly, man, if they don't...
Why make anybody stay? You don't want to be a part of us?
Yeah. Let them go. Then it's fine.
Go do whatever you need to do. The country will stop
at fucking Mississippi. I mean, nobody cares about
any other part of the country besides the northeast
anyway, so it's like, let's just, let's stop.
We can run this whole operation if we just
had New York. Let's be honest. Let's just be crystal
clear about that. We need Boston, too, because that's
where Harvard and MIT is. Yeah, we need that.
The smart kids are up there. Let's be honest.
Nobody's going to fucking, nobody's going to lose their
fucking minds if we lost Austin, Texas. Nobody
really cares. Nobody really cares. We make
believe, we play pretend. Oh, it's a
fun new batch of shit. Shut the fuck up yeah it's about new york yeah and nobody else really cares yeah new york
and new jersey just make whatever belt buckles you make down there and just send them up to
canal street yeah just do whatever you got to send your soldiers you got to send unfortunately
your kids are the ones that want to go to war because you know but you're protecting the empire
state building that's what you're doing it's all your protectors empire state building and yankee
stadium that's what you're protecting so when colby fucking sawyer goes to war and he's like
iraq i'm gonna hit these motherfuckers for freedom for trump it's like yeah go do what you need to do
the truth of the situation is you're just keeping the fucking subway prices down and you're keeping
fucking yankees and mets tickets prices at a at a normal rate 100 and also the other cool cities
let's let's just be crystal clear. Los Angeles
is basically a colony in New York.
It was founded by New Yorkers. Miami
was founded by New Yorkers. And
Chicago, you're just a clean version of
New York and your most famous gangster was born
in New York and then he went over there and got syphilis like
a man. Yeah. Al Capone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you imagine being Frank Sinatra? Can you imagine being Frank Sinatra?
Could you imagine being Frank Sinatra?
Could you imagine walking into a room?
Imagine being Frank Sinatra.
Yeah.
What?
How fucking wild must that have felt like to walk into a room and just say to yourself
for one second, I'm Frank Sinatra.
I'm fucking Frank Sinatra.
I'm Frankie Blue Eyes.
Yeah.
Every woman in here wantsants to suck my dick
Yeah
And every guy
Or I would
Cause would you let
Frankie clean you out
100%
Look at that
Absolutely
I'm in baby blue eyes
Look at that
Absolutely
I'd fucking sit in that lap forever
Cause
I was just kidding
About the obviously
Whole New York thing
Of course we need
The whole United States
I was just kidding
Cause I want to go to Alaska
You do right
I want to take a fucking
I want to go
I want to take a flight To Vancouver Yeah And I want to And I want to go to Alaska. You do, right? I want to take a fucking I want to go. I want to take a flight to
Vancouver and I want to
walk around Vancouver for a couple of days and I want to take
a cruise to fucking Alaska
from Vancouver. That's what I want to do.
Should we do that? Should we set that up? If anybody
out there, go to patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys. Be a part of the matriarchy.
If any of our matriarchy members or non-matriarchy
members, if you have any, if you know
any like how we should price this out and how we should do this.
I want to do Vancouver to Alaska cruise.
Yeah.
And we also want a cake in the shape of a hyena pseudo penis.
Yeah.
If we could get a cake in the shape of a hyena pseudo penis, that'd be fucking awesome.
You remember that when you put that out and it happened?
Because what is the old expression?
Ask the universe and the universe provides.
The universe shall provide.
Chrissy D puts it out there and somehow
we actually got, we're not
going to mention their name anymore because they should be a corporate
sponsor the fuck amount of times we know.
Norris Cupcakes? Yeah, Norris Cupcakes. They're just a friend
of the podcast, so they get a free message.
But you know,
we just need one fan in
Alaska. This is what,
Chrissy D's just put out an APB.
Do we have a fan
from Alaska listening to this podcast?
Identify yourself
in our DMs, on Instagram, on
Twitter, or if you're a non-tude
over at patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys. If you're listening to this podcast
and you're not listening to it on Thursday
on patreon.com slash
Bay Ridge Boys, just know you're taking food
out of Chris's baby's mouth. Yeah know you're taking food out of Chris's baby's mouth.
Yeah.
You're taking food out of my fucking baby's mouth and my baby's mom is mom's
mouth and my baby's mom is mom is new boyfriend's mouth.
We all worked out today.
Yeah.
And you're also taking food out of fucking emoji faces,
divorce settlement.
Yeah.
Kid's got to pay a lawyer.
He's trying to figure out what to do.
Why are you even in court?
What's your wife going to take from you?
What can your wife take? Oh, nothing.
Your anime collection?
No, we're just making it official.
Just making it amicable. And you don't have any kids, right?
No. Yeah. Do you want one? I'll
fuck you right in the ass right now.
Do you got like figurines and stuff that she's trying to
get a hold? She wants it because they're like worth something
and she's trying to hold on to them? i picture your room in austin kind of looks like
there's just like a lot of toys in in wrappers that haven't been touched untouched enough like
i bet you i can't tell the difference between your room in san antonio and my baby mama's nine-year-old
son's room right now it's probably the same is that true kind of room yeah uh i probably have
more because you're a handsome
mikey's a handsome kid actually especially if he's got that beard you want to get this lap
because the other night you know what i did because you know my love sack you know because
if we do a live podcast we're gonna do it the whole thing with you and mike's lap yeah 100
he's gonna be the chair he's just gonna be sitting in style and you're just gonna sit in his lap i'm
gonna sit in isis's lap and it's just what it is yeah well yesterday yesterday i um i was on the kfc uh
live podcast at caroline's and dan soda was the guest and wasn't a chair for him so he sat in my
lap i just said danny sit here and then he sat in my lap till i got a chair did you go pewing i went
pewing a little bit did you get a creeper you know what i've been doing i know it's gonna sound funny
but spit in the wheel really yeah spit in the wheel i unzipped my You know what I've been doing? I know it's going to sound funny. Spinning the wheel? Yeah, spinning the wheel.
I unzipped my love sack and I've been sleeping inside my love sack.
Why have you been doing that, cuz?
Instead of on top of it, I've just been sleeping in it.
Why have you been crawling in the love sack, cuz?
You want to get back into the womb?
You're a baby.
Were you sucking your thumb in there, too?
Yeah, no.
It just made me feel good to unzip my love sack and just sleep in it like it's a sleeping bag.
Why are you doing that?
I don't know, but I feel like I literally woke up this morning because i have a bed i mean i have a full bed you got a full bed and a full apartment i slept inside my love sack
last night in the middle of the living room floor for no reason watching sports center let me just
be crystal clear with the fans of our podcast and the new people who are tuning in right now
in the future yeah okay there's one thing that needs to be done for the United States of America.
Yeah.
And that is you need to be put into a fucking Volvo.
Yeah.
Family van.
Yeah.
Okay.
Lie to and say,
we're going to a minor league baseball game in upstate New York.
Yeah.
And they got dipping dots there.
So I'm definitely in.
Yeah.
I got a black and white cookie in there for you to be happy.
And I'm putting on Whitney Houston and we're laughing.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm, I'm Houston and we're laughing. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I'm,
I'm driving you up and I got a fucking old school six shooter in my fucking
jeans in the back.
And I take a stop and book Kipsey.
Cause I say,
I need to take a piss.
And I said,
come out with me.
This is my favorite rest stop.
And you're going to go,
okay,
yeah,
there's no rest up here.
What do you mean?
I'm going to say,
I got it in a black and white cookie for you,
Chrissy.
You know, did you just tell the people you were sleeping in a love sack you just opened your
love sack and crawled in it for no reason and you're gonna go yeah and i'm gonna go you know
what that's against the laws of this great country you need to be put down for crimes against
humanity and then i'm gonna fucking walk you up a hill and squeeze a bullet into the back of that
big head cuz yeah but you need to be put down cuz do you think that do you think a bullet into the back of that big head, cuz. Yeah, but you need to be put down! Cuz, do you think that
do you think one bullet to the
back of the head would be enough? You might have to put two or three
in there. The first bullet might get stuck in the back
of the cranium. Yeah, I think
I think the first bullet's just gonna make a noise.
It's gonna be similar to pewing, but it sounds
like when you, you know, when you shoot a bullet into a
metal door. Yeah. It's just gonna bing!
Cuz you got a big fucking head.
I got a big fucking head, cuz, and by the way, I'm back
eating red meat again. I've had a couple
of cheeseburgers the last couple of days and I feel good.
Yeah. Because I hadn't eaten red meat for about a
year. Yeah. For no reason. Because
I went to Bobby Flay's Steakhouse in Atlantic City.
Oh yeah? I've had enough of Atlantic City.
Yeah. I've had enough of Atlantic City
can go. Yeah. Atlantic City,
you know, it's a beautiful city.
I would put Paris 1, New York 2, Atlantic City 3. Yeah. Yeah. Atlantic City, you know, it's a beautiful city. I would put Paris 1,
New York 2, Atlantic City 3.
Yeah. Yeah. It's the bronze medal of beautiful
cities. It's just a place
if there
was, if
Las Vegas had
a special needs Stamos brother,
it's special needs Stamos for Vegas.
Yeah. It's what it is. It's what it is. John Stamos
is Vegas and AC's me.
Yeah.
And it's loquace.
It's es loquace or es loquace.
Because we got to get rid of Atlantic City. I'm just
done. How was the sandwich shop though? I saw
that you and Paul Verzi went. It's good.
But it's like, it's just a sandwich.
It's just like a sandwich. Yeah, it's just a sandwich. It's just a fucking
the meat's probably like boar's head meat. Whatever it is. Yeah, it's just whatever. They throw a little relish on there. It's nice. sandwich. It's just like a sandwich. Yeah, it's just a sandwich. It's just a fucking, the meat's probably like boar's head meat,
whatever it is.
Yeah, it's just whatever.
They throw a little relish on there.
It's nice.
The meatballs, I think, are good.
I didn't have that.
Paul Verzi had that.
Yeah.
He said that was great.
Yeah.
He's a big star, Paul Verzi.
He's got a big manager.
And so, yeah, we went to the White House,
which is about the only thing to do out there
besides going to the outlets.
But on the way up, this is what happened.
Let me just tell you about my Sunday.
Okay.
So I woke up.
It was like 90 degrees out there.
Yeah.
Too hot.
Too much.
Yeah.
And look, the people you're on camera. So we constantly get comments about Chrissy fucking texting.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'll wait for you to finish.
No.
I want the people to suffer with me.
Okay. Text it. My kid to suffer with me. Okay.
Text it.
My kid's mom.
Yeah.
Okay.
You got a situation with the mother.
So I woke up Sunday.
I knew it was going to be a weird day.
I got a lot going on.
Cause my dad's,
my dad's on the runway.
Right.
Yeah.
Your dad's on the runway.
So I saw Paulie Walnuts who lives in from the Sopranos who lives at Bay Ridge.
And he looks like he's on the runway too.
Yeah.
You're asking what is on the runway mean?
Did we tell them?
On the runway means you were sitting, you know, when you ever see people sitting waiting
for their plane.
Yeah.
That means they're close.
That means they're waiting for their flight.
Their flight's going to heaven.
Yeah.
Right now when they're close, they're on the, there's runway traffic and they're on the
runway.
Yeah.
And the pilot's just waiting for his turn.
Yeah.
But the flight's taken off in about 10, 15 minutes.
Yeah.
They're close.
Yeah.
And when I'm on the runway, my flight's going direct to Houston.
I'm going to suck a dick in heaven.
So I woke up.
I went and got an Eastern Hemi coffee.
We're talking about we're in Bay Ridge or we're in Atlantic City right now?
We're in Atlantic City.
I mean, no, no.
This is my Sunday.
I'm in Bay Ridge.
Okay.
This is the start of my Sunday.
So you got Eastern Hemi coffee from 3rd Avenue. Yeah. It's a cold brew. So I had one cold brew. I didn, no, no. This is my Sunday. I'm in Bay Ridge. Okay. This is the start of my Sunday. So you went, you got, I went, I got a tall from
third Avenue. It's a cold brew. So I had one cold
brew. I didn't eat anything. It was really,
really hot out. And
yeah. Yeah. So then
I went back and I cleaned my entire apartment.
Clean my entire apartment. You mean you cleaned
it out? No, I just actually cleaned it.
I was like, I just couldn't deal with it being such
a mess. I cleaned it. I started fucking the
plants. No, then I felt like I wanted which, which, you know, I love my plants.
Yeah, you're a kid who, you love a fucking plant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a really, you're a stone cold FF.
Yeah.
Like I can't explain to the people enough.
What you're basically saying is I'm a stone cold faggot.
Yeah.
What a true, just bubbling stone cold FF you are. Yeah. It's just, it's, you've never seen anything like it. Yeah. What a true, just bubbling, stone cold FF you are.
It's just, it's, you've never seen anything like it.
Yeah.
I mean, the kid just likes to go to West Elm and have a day.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
All right, go ahead.
So, and then, so I cleaned it and then I went back and I got another large iced coffee.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I haven't.
Cold brew?
Another cold brew.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
So, and then I didn't eat anything.
And then I was like, okay, I got to get on the road and go to Atlantic City.
That's like Chernobyl level fucking fumes.
That's a lot.
Yeah.
I just didn't plan my day well.
And I hadn't eaten yet.
You didn't eat a croissant?
You didn't eat anything?
Nothing.
And I had a bar.
I went and had a bar.
You went and had a bar?
I had a little water that I mixed in with my Metamucil.
I did a little Metamucil because I'm just trying to have a normal shit.
You're taking normal shits now.
No, I haven't had a normal shit since 2015, which is concerning.
I thought you said you had a normal shit the other day.
I've had like three or four over five years.
It's concerning.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I did my water.
I tried to knock out my water and my fiber in one.
Water.
So I said I can hydrate and also get my fiber by doing a Metamucil.
So I went and I drank water.
Yeah, drink water. With Metamucil. So I went and I drank water. Yeah, drink water.
With Metamucil.
And I did that.
And then I had a bar.
I had one of my wife's supplement bars.
I was just going to say one of your wife's protein bars.
Yeah, one of my wife's.
She just got her blood work back.
They said her blood sugar's low because the girl doesn't eat any sugar.
She doesn't eat any sugar.
She did make a hell of a cupcake, though, for Paul Verzi's 4th of July bash.
Yeah, and now she says she's incorporating blueberries into her diet.
So it's going to be grilled chicken, lettuce, and blueberries. Yeah, there you go. Blueberries are good. And mustard. That's it. High antioxidants. Yeah, and now she says she's incorporating blueberries into her diet. So it's going to be grilled chicken, lettuce and blueberries.
Yeah, there you go.
Blueberries are good.
And mustard.
That's it.
High antioxidants.
Yeah, that's it.
She weighs her food, my wife.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
You can have just a couple
of long days ahead of you.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, especially because
I mentioned her on the podcast
and then she's going to yell at us.
Yeah, it's just going to be brutal.
But you know what?
You guys are going to
fucking get a house
in fucking Northern Canada
and it's going to be fine.
You guys are going to just
move up to Saskatchewan
and just to get the deal
you want. And don't worry, you and your wife are going to
take the train there. You're going to get used to it. It's like
when I asked your wife, I said, how long is the train ride from the house you guys
are buying? She said about two and a half hours. I said, you know
what? You might as well just move to the North
Pole. If you don't think that when I move up to
North Salem, Westchester, that you're not going to buy
a house in three months after that, show up on my
doorstep and say, cuz I want to stroll.
You got another thing coming. Yeah, cuz if you move up
to North Salem, I just don't know
what am I supposed to do in the neighborhood? Hang out with
Hebert?
Hebert?
You don't have the headphones? Yeah, hit it again hit it again
he hit that right after you said yeah
yeah
isis sometimes hits with the good timing
yeah so yeah where isis is
always on the chopping block to get fired and then he
comes back with a nice new sound effect isis is always about to just get fired and then he comes back with a nice new sound effect
ISIS is always about to just get
fired and then he just makes it stay
and now we're giving Mike a hundred bucks
and fucking show two we just got no money
Venetia
please come back
yeah we need you back you fucking research
is great we fucking love you the only one who
could tell Mike that his designs are shit
yeah they suck and we don't, we just, we're making
fucking, we're making big decisions without you.
We're just giving everybody $100 an episode,
Venetia. You have to be our accountant.
If you're a Tute and you haven't been
to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys,
the community
board has basically just
become a jihad against ISIS.
It's what it is. I mean, every comment
is about fucking, they call
them, they say they're going to fucking cut his head off.
Yeah. They just can't handle ISIS.
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys
to see all that fun. Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
Matriarchy. Join the matriarchy.
By the way, we are going to get to
our topic of the day pretty soon.
But I was just about to say before he hit me with that
eh, which hit me hard.
It put me down a lot of 14.
So, cuz if you don't think
that I haven't noticed
that you're a kid from Ridgewood and you did live in Long
Island City for a second
with the situation with the mother.
Growing my hair up, by the way. I know, you look good. You look more
wee!
Yeah, cuz it's what your mom wants you to do.
Does it look alright now? Cuz, yeah.
It's looking good. Yeah.
You went to Westchester, you just want to change a good thing.
I'm not getting a part shaved into my head anymore like a real Jose.
It's just what it is.
If you go to your bedroom, you know what Chris's wall art is?
It's his all-star jersey from the baseball team celebrity all-star game.
It's already,
cause you're a black kid.
Yeah,
2014,
I got that.
Cause you wear,
you wear jerseys
and you match them
with your Jordans
and your fucking wall art
is a fucking jersey
that's framed.
You're a black kid.
Yeah,
my wall art truly is
a jersey of mine
that's framed
and I fucking,
and I tie my Jordans together
and I hang it
from my ceiling fans.
Yeah, cause it's just, it's low-cast at this point.
Okay, so where we go? I'm just going to say, if you
don't think that I haven't noticed
that you moved one block away from
me in Park Slope, and then I moved to
Bay Ridge, and then all of a sudden you fucking showed up in
Bay Ridge. You don't think that I don't
know that you follow me around because you feel comfy
wumpy when I'm close? You got another
thing coming! I feel comfy because
make no mistake, the sec
You're the kid who likes to crawl into a beanbag
and get comfy. Yeah, I like to get comfy.
Because you want to cut open fucking Mike's stomach
with a fucking exacto knife and
crawl in. Yeah, I want to fucking crawl
into his fucking... He's not even paying attention because his blood sugar
is low. Yeah, he looks like Winnie the Pooh.
Venetia just texted to say
don't forget to remind everybody about the
Patreon draft. Oh, Venetia said that?
Yeah. Ask Venetia if what are the chances
of her going out on a date with me when she gets back.
It's fucking negative four.
Ask Venetia if we can call her on Skype right now.
Ask her if we can call her on Skype.
And what are we supposed to remind them about? Make no mistake,
when Mike's texting Venetia. Did you just say it looked like Winnie the Pooh?
I said it looked like Winnie the Pooh.
That's because I'm not wearing pants. When Mike is texting Venetia, make no mistake when mike's just saying it looked like woody the pool that's because i'm not wearing pants because when mike is texting vanitya make no mistake he's got a little blood flow going to his junkies he's a little nervous right now he doesn't want to fuck
up the text because cuz she crushed his fucking world when she shit on his anime design yeah she
just it's just women know how to do that. And then she just she just went.
Honestly, she went about her day like she didn't just ruin a man's life.
Yeah, she did.
She just got on the one train, went uptown.
I was like, it's mad love.
Yeah, I'm up.
I'm at the diner.
Yeah, it's funny how she spit it out.
And then she saw how we reacted.
And then she tried to soften it.
Yeah, but it was just her naturally.
She was disgusted.
If you're listening to us, please don't like take what we're saying is be like, she tried to soften it yeah but it was just her naturally she was disgusted by the design if
you're listening to us please don't like take what we're saying as be like we want you to be honest
on this podcast if you're gonna hurt our feelings and hurt our fucking feelings okay make no mistake
it's gonna be fine we can take it because you're gonna be my wife one day yeah and we can take it
because our name is not hebert
because it's just what it
because we got to grow this podcast big.
Yeah, because otherwise we're going to lose Venetia.
Yeah, she's going to get like a job at Bloomingdale's
or whatever other spoiled girl job she's
going to get. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That girl's
got family money. Yeah, it's got family money.
It's what is she could just fucking pick up and go
to Greece for six weeks. It's just what it is.
No, we're kidding. We can't. Yeah, real quick. No, we need
Venetia because she's the only fucking person here who knows how to
fucking write a document. Yeah.
By the way, July 6th,
I went to the Mets game with Patty Fly Balls, who, by
the way, Patty Fly Balls, our boy Patty Finnegan,
works for Ladder 14, which
is so nuts. That's his actual
FDNY company, is Ladder 14.
We were sitting up at the Mets game.
I did not know that when we came up
with that on your couch. Yeah, I didn't know. We were sitting in these the Mets game. I did not know that when we came up with that on your couch.
Yeah, I didn't know.
We were sitting in this private suite, this private area in Citi Field.
I look over to my left and guess who's... No, first of all, I feel a vibration on my phone.
It's a picture of me in my Instagram DMs.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
I swear to God.
Well, let's tell the people what happened.
Okay, because this is crazy.
This is crazy.
We got a situation here.
Yeah, we got a situation. I got a situation with the stalker. You We got a situation here. Yeah, I got a situation with the stalker.
You got a situation with
the mother wheels. I have a situation with the stalker.
So this is for the fans. Everyone knows who this guy is
because he's one of our super fans.
He's Jim Bacacca's level at some
point. But listen to how uncomfortable
his story is. Chris goes to the Mets
games with his friends from Ridgewood.
It's basically a Goodwill hunting night.
Yeah, it's me, Patty Flyball,
Patty Flyball's mother, Debo,
boy Chrissy the Worm,
and then the other guy, Danny, who
last time we were in Vegas,
Pat threw his shoes into
the hallway and called him a spic.
And they're friends.
And they're best friends. And that's a cop and a fireman.
They just got a rivalry and
it's just what it is. Yeah, so it's just it was a brutal. They just got a rivalry and it's just what it is. Yeah.
And so it's just, it's just, it was a brutal thing, but it just happened.
And it's just what it is.
And you have to understand, Chris is the Goodwill hunting of Ridgewood.
All his friends are cops and firemen and they like to drink brews and talk about the Mets.
And he sent videos to me of them talking about the Mets.
And all Chris wants to do is fantasize about twirling around in Williamsburg, Virginia.
Yeah. All I want to do is go to Williamsburg, Virginia and get in my fucking love sack.
Yeah. And he's a kid with a PhD who left the neighborhood and he got all the way to Bay Ridge. Yeah. Yeah, all I want to do is go to Williamsburg, Virginia and get in my fucking love sack. Yeah, and he's a kid with a
PhD who left the neighborhood and he got all the way to
Bay Ridge. Yeah, I got all the way. Which is fancy.
Fancy. I got out to Bay Ridge.
So we're at the Mets game. We're at fucking City because
make no mistake, a kid named Paddy Fly Ball is a kid who loves
the Mets. Yeah. So, oh, also his brother
Eddie was there, BC. We call him Big Chest Eddie.
BC. So BC is out there.
They're firefighters. They're firefighters. No, they're firefighters.
They're firefighters. Yeah firefighters and they're firefighters
and I get
a vibration and I look at my DMs
and it's a picture of me talking
to Pat and I look and it's from Chris the teacher
then I look to my left and I see
Chris the teacher not even smiling
just looking at me with beads of sweat coming
off his head yeah he was getting pewing
he was getting pewing he comes over to me
not only he says hello to me but he knows who patty fly balls and debo are
so i swear to god he goes you must be patty fly balls yeah he took a picture yeah he took a picture
of how it was and he goes you must be debo yeah and then he looks at debo and they're both stunned
in amazement yeah where they can't believe what just happened yeah and then he just proceeds to
text me and dm me throughout the rest of the fucking
game. Just different.
What did he text you? He has your phone
number? DM me.
Sorry. Throughout the rest of the day
and it was just wild. I mean, I appreciate, thank you
for your service, but it was just, yeah. He was like,
is it weird that I'm here? I was like, no.
So that was just a complete coincidence? No, it truly was a coincidence.
We love Chris the teacher.
It was just, but it truly was a coincidence. We love Chris the teacher.
But it truly was a coincidence.
But it was nice to see him.
Chris the teacher is a good kid.
He is a good kid.
He brought me Williamsburg coverage.
He does look like a bird.
Yeah, he does look like a bird. He does look like a straight bird.
And he's some questionable, you know, things, you know, some underage girls.
But it's just what it is.
He's got a situation with the mother from what I understand.
Yeah, and I probably would lean towards the mother from what I understand. Yeah. And I, and I can,
and I probably would lean towards the mother's side on that.
Yeah.
I would probably say that that situation is justified and vindicated by the
mother.
Yeah.
So I was in AC.
I was getting these texts.
Now here's what happened.
Let me finish this story.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So I didn't eat anything.
I got in the car with these two cold brews.
Yeah.
And then by the time I got to Staten Island,
I just noticed my whole body was shaking and I looked in the mirror and these two cold brews. Yeah. And then by the time I got to Staten Island, I just noticed my whole body was shaking.
And I looked in the mirror and I was turning purple.
Yeah.
So I decided to pull over in Staten Island and get an egg and cheese sandwich at a fucking
gas station.
Yeah.
I ate an egg and cheese sandwich and I down.
At a gas station.
At a gas station.
I downed the Gatorade and I started to feel a little bit better, but I was starting to
feel like I was going to pass out.
Yeah.
So, and then I got back in the car, got back on the road and then I felt like I was going to shit my pants.
I was going to die.
And my blood sugar was low.
Yeah.
So I pulled over on the side of the road and I said,
who's my only friend?
Who's a doctor.
I need to talk to a doctor.
And I tried to peruse in my head,
my little mental Rolodex of all my friends.
What about Dr.
Nick?
I was like,
he's an ass doctor.
He's an ass doctor,
but he's a weird kid.
Yeah.
He's not a fucking weirdo.
Yeah. And he really hasn't hit us up since up since I went to his church and bombed.
So it's just what it is.
He was probably hyping it up like, listen, this is Yanni Pappas.
He's a fucking Greek comedian.
He's my favorite.
And I just went there and ate my dick.
It's what it is.
Because church gigs suck.
Yeah.
Don't hire me for it anymore.
Yeah.
So I forgot about Dr. Nick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I said, which one of my friends is the doctor? Plus, he's an acquaintance. He's a fucking peripheral kid. Yeah. So I forgot about Dr. Nick. Yeah. Yeah. So I said, which one of my friends is the doctor?
Plus doctor. He's more of a, he's an acquaintance. He's a
fucking peripheral kid. Yeah. I was looking for
my good friends. Who's going to help me? Who can I talk to? Who can I tell
him I'm feeling vulnerable? Yeah. Which one of my friends
is the fucking, he's a doctor. And I said,
Chrissy's a doctor. Yeah. I said,
Chrissy, actually I asked Lynn. I said, Lynn,
is your son a doctor? She said, my son's a doctor.
Yeah. So I called Chrissy up and
Chrissy was on the road.
And I said, Chrissy, am I okay?
Here's my symptoms.
And then I also told you, I did shit my pants because what happened was, you know when you're
just like, you're trying to solve the problem.
You're like, maybe if I fart, I'll be okay.
Yeah.
You know when you feel lightheaded and like, I'm having a lot of anxiety because my dad's
on the runway.
You know, my brother's an FF.
I got a lot of things going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was all just coming down on me. I'm going to AC. I don't want to be here. You know, my brother's an FF. I got a lot of things going on. Yeah. So it was all just coming down on me.
I'm going to AC.
I don't want to be here.
You know?
Yeah.
And, um, and, uh, you know, Paul versus got a very important manager.
A lot of things that was getting overwhelmed by.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, um, and, uh, and I figured, you know, you just think anything could solve your problem.
So if I fart, maybe I'll feel better.
Right.
So I kind of pushed it a little bit.
Yeah.
And I shit my pants on the side of the road.
It's what it is.
I shit my pants in Staten Island.
And we have a picture of it and we're going to post it on the Patreon, right?
We do have a picture.
We can't post it on the Patreon.
We can't.
Should we?
Is that gross?
I don't know.
Can we post it on the Patreon for the 25?
We can, but do people want to see it?
If you pay $25, I think you want to see your shit stained.
Can we just post on the
Patreon now? Do people, well, after they hear the episode,
we'll do a poll. Do they want to fucking see? Because I
did the picture of it, and a little bit bled through to
my shorts as well. Yeah. Yeah, I had
seven shorts on that I got from Century 21
in Bay Ridge, and a little bit fucking bled into the shorts.
Did you wash your ass out a little bit?
So here's the story. Did you get a wet wipe? No, well, that's
it. I shit my pants, and it was squishy,
and I spoke to you, and you said, you're going to be okay. What'd you tell me? Pull over to rest stop. You said get a water. no well that's i shit my pants and it was squishy and i spoke to you and you said you're gonna be okay what'd you tell me pull over the rest stop you said get a
water get a water drink a lot of water i said you got to flush this thing out because i said you
probably drank too much coffee you have too much caffeine in your system so you got to drink enough
water where you just pee out the caffeine and then my cannon and debo were in we're in the car they
started laughing they all started laughing at me everyone started laughing me and called me an ff
yeah called you an ff yeah and you and then your medical diagnosis was that I was acting like a real FF
right now. That's what it was. Yeah. So
yeah, I just, my diagnosis was just rainbow
flags. Yeah. So then I,
so then I went to the next
rest stop. Yeah. And I drank a few
waters and I went one of those massage
chairs, right? I went one of the massage
chairs. I took a piss. You went to a massage
chair in a road stop in New Jersey?
Yeah. I went to a road stop. Yeah. And so I'm just sitting at this point. Yeah. I'm in Jersey at this point. I drove a piss. You went into a massage chair in a road stop in New Jersey? Yeah, I went to a road stop. And so I'm just sitting
at this point. Yeah, I'm in Jersey at
this point. I drove a couple miles and
I get into the rest stop and I start doing the
massage chair. I think it's going to calm me down because I'm having a
full blown anxiety attack. My hands are tangling
in there. You know, it's a full blown anxiety attack or
maybe I'm dying. Maybe I got a heart condition. We don't
know. But it was an anxiety attack because I got good
blood pressure. It's beautiful blood pressure. Yeah, you got nice
Mediterranean blood pressure. So I get into the thing and the massage for some reason has a massage in the middle of the chair.
I mean, it's like it really goes in your ass.
So it's just pushing the squishiness of my underwear into my ass.
Yeah.
So it was an uncomfortable massage.
I wasn't happy for 15 minutes.
It was a $5 15 minute massage.
And then I started to feel better and I drove
to Atlantic City, but I did shit my pants on the way.
But you walked through that lobby of a Borgata, which is one of the
nice hotels in LA City with a dirty shit filled
ass. Cause yeah, when I
finally got, I got some
chicken tenders from the Burger King
and
I had to stand against the wall
because I just, I knew
that I had a little shit stain on my shorts.
Yeah.
So I just was always conscious of someone was behind me.
If they were going to see my shit.
Did you put on,
did you put on some classical music or some Kings of Leon to calm you down?
Yeah.
I put on some Kings of Leon.
You like Kings of Leon.
I like Kings of Leon.
Yeah.
When we were drove back from Virginia,
we listened to some Kings of Leon.
Yeah.
Why don't we should go back to Virginia and do that gig with that,
with that.
What's that guy's name?
With the screwed in kid.
Yeah.
The screwed in kid.
Yeah.
Yeah. Who's also doing a lot of big gigs? Yeah, I remember he was
like, he was telling us. Oh yeah, he does a lot of big gigs.
Erwin, good kid. I'll hit him up. Yeah, hit him up.
Let's fucking do some more stuff. Yeah.
Vanitya's at the caller. Let's call Vanitya.
Let's speak to Vanitya. Can we talk to Vanitya?
Yeah. Yeah, we can talk.
I mean, can we see her I meant to say? Yeah.
Is this?
There you go, babe.
Hello.
Hey, baby.
Babe, you got to get back here because I mean, we're falling apart here.
Yeah.
Without you.
What are you talking about?
What happened?
We just we decided to start paying people $100 an episode. And I don't think we have the budget to do that.
But, babe, you just got to come back because I miss you and I'm a change
man
what's going on guys
what's going on in New York babe what time is it in Greece
babe a lot of wild things what time
is it in Greece babe what time is it in Greece where you at
it's 8 o'clock
I'm off to go meet up with a friend
what is it a guy yeah
is it a guy because Chris is Is it a guy? Because Chris is
jealous. I mean, it's a group of friends.
It's a group of friends. Yeah. We call that
in Greek, Perea. It's a company. So you're doing
Perea. Yeah, I'm going to go meet up with a Perea.
Perea, yeah. What does that mean? We're going to go hang out.
He's friends, you know. You got to remember, I'm a Greek
kid. You're a Greek kid. You can't speak Greek, though.
Yeah. Yeah. Now, Veneti,
have you been throwing hands while you've been in Greece?
No, but I did do
I did work out today I do TRX
when I'm here I have my trainer
Dimitri to do TRX
Dimitri sounds like an FF
I miss him though
when are you coming home
I'm coming home in a few weeks
guys oh my god
I have a wedding at the end of the month
you're still so long.
What a wedding. Are you going to be here for our birthdays?
What is going on over there? Me and Giannis' birthday, August
25th and 26th. Are you going to be here for our birthday party?
Yeah, because we need your grandmother's cookies.
Oh yeah.
Okay, I'll make sure I'm back. Yeah, because
we're going to have a birthday party in the studio. We're going to get
cone hats. And it's Mike's birthday as well.
When is Mike's? When's your birthday? 26th.
Your birthday is August 26th too. Wow.
I mean, how do you know that, Vinny T,
what her birthday is? How did you
know Mike's birthday?
Because I listen when you guys are talking.
Yeah. I remember that.
Yeah, you know who else listens, Mike, when you told them that his
design was shit. Yeah.
Maybe for Mike's birthday you could buy him a fucking
anime figure.
Okay, it was
a really nice t-shirt. I want that design.
I want that as my own personal.
Yeah, you want it as your toilet paper so you can wipe
your ass with it. No, Vanitya,
how about this? For August, because
Yanni's August 25th, me and Mikey's
August 26th. Why don't we all go to
Medieval Times for our birthday? No, we're not going to do that, Chris.
Why not? Because we're grown up kids.
I'm not going to fucking Medieval Times.
I went to a fucking medieval festival
with you last year. It was the worst thing in the world.
You're walking around with a turkey leg and a
fucking paper hat around your head.
No, this is different. That was
the renaissance, man. Medieval Times, we'll sit down
and we watch Joust and we get to drink soup
out of fucking bread bowls and
turkey legs and it's going to be nights and shit Jousting.
We're eating soup in the middle of summer?
Yeah, but it's air conditioned in there, babe.
Yeah, because he wants to keep going in medieval
times. He's a 35 year old father
because
come on. That's a random birthday
party, but let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. And I'll bring
the baby and it'll be good. You can
fucking see what it's like to be a stepmom.
Dope, dope.
We miss you.
We miss you.
Do you guys get the t-shirt?
Yeah, I'm wearing one right now.
I'm wearing my t-shirt right now, babe.
Yeah, babe.
We got to get t-shirts on our backs for all our road gigs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm excited, guys.
Yo, I have to let you guys go.
Wow.
We got to hurt you guys right now.
Wow.
Hebert.
I'm sorry. We miss you, babe babe my friends are looking at me laughing um but i miss you guys so much can you see can you send a picture crazy wild shit like
babe can you send a picture of of of you or like the sunset you're looking at to our group chat
to ahina's group chat on text because i just want to see i just want to see the world that you see
because i feel like we got the same
heartbeat. Yeah.
And send us a picture of all the Swarthies you're hanging out with.
People want to see the Greeks you're hanging with.
Yeah. Okay.
Sounds good. I will. Okay.
I love you, babe. Bye.
Yasu. Yasu. Yasu.
Who is that?
Is she in Crete? Where is she?
I don't know. I fucking know, guys. Listen,
we love Venetia.
Love Vegas.
This episode today obviously
is not about Chrissy's love sack
or Mikey's
anime shirt. We are
History Hyenas and we're brought to you by
9 Street Auto Collision out there on the island.
These kids are good. They're in Huntington.
Their number is 631-351-5300. If you're out there on the island. These kids are good. They're in Huntington. Their number is 631-351-5300.
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No, they don't.
Yeah, we're also brought to you by CBD Script.
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and I fucking
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This kid is wild.
You like his posts all the time.
The kid doesn't have one post with his shirt on.
Yeah.
And if he does have a shirt, it's a history Hyena shirt.
Yeah, he's fucking the best.
Where does he live?
What state is this?
I don't know, because he lives with his mother in Oregon or Seattle or something like that.
Yeah, he just lost his job and he's not going to be able to afford to be our sponsor.
Yeah, he's just like, you know what?
I'm just going to fucking make quinoa balls and post it and see what happens.
Kid loves strawberries.
He likes telling you what's nutritious.
He's a healthy kid, though.
He is a healthy kid.
And he's actually, his tips are really good.
I actually read those whole things.
Me too.
I read the whole things.
And go sign up.
Become one of his clients, man.
He'll help you.
We know we got a lot of big
kids listening to this you need to lose some fucking weight we want to have you around for
a little while yeah so you can't be an ff your whole life yeah yeah and what i like about this
is he makes nutrition fun he really does it really true no he truly truly does so go follow him
nutrition made fun on instagram his name is matt kotch he's an ff but he used to be an ff probably
no but now he's shredded. He's shredded.
Yeah.
So go follow him.
Next enrollment's July 15.
Just go to his Instagram and follow from there.
He's got the link in the bio for where you can go.
So check that out.
And you got to go check out our boy if you're in South Carolina.
Oh, yeah.
Fucking crack your teeth open.
Clean them out.
Dr. Harvey Spencer.
Because he's in South Carolina.
So there's probably a lot of racists down there.
We got some of you fucking KKK kids.
Yeah.
Go to fucking go to Lee Harvey Oswald. Yeah yeah maybe the reason why you're so hateful is
because you got a cavity yeah you may have a cavity you i know it's hot down there in south
carolina and that you that's a fucking racist place yeah but guess what you may be a kkk member
in south carolina yeah but you're fucking stupid kid yeah there's never any you ever noticed the
white supremacists are like the worst advocates for white supremacy?
Yeah.
It's always some kid that works at a gas station.
They're like, whites are people who are superior.
Yeah.
Well, guess what?
Yeah.
Guess what?
Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. is a fucking black dentist.
Yeah, and he's the best.
Kid went to medical school.
He's smarter than you, fucking Johnson.
Johnson Lee Ross Spencer.
Yeah.
That one's got 14 names names he's smarter than fucking you
um go down to his office um go down to his office down in rocky hill south carolina
get your teeth what did you call it rocky hill what's it called yeah we always fuck it up yeah
it's uh it's uh it's rock hill south carolina yeah no get go rock hill south carolina go to
dr lee harvey spencer's what is Yeah, because once we started calling him Lee
Harvey Oswald, it's Harvey Spencer
Jr. Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. Get your teeth cracked
open and cleaned out. And then after
he's done with the cleaning, you can wash out your mouth
with some Hennessy. He's black.
Way too much.
I mean,
I was kidding.
No, Dr. Harvey's joking around.
He knows that. I mean. He doesn't care.
So yeah,
healthyhappysmile.com
That's a healthyhappysmile.com
Follow them on Instagram
a healthy smile
rock hill. A healthy smile
rock hill. Even if you're not in South Carolina,
follow them, man. I mean, go support
them, follow them. Tell your friends
who are in the South to go to
healthyhappysmile.com
It's a
great dental practice and it's really
geared for the whole family, for kids and everything.
They got next generation. You follow
their Instagram, you see it's just a happy
place for kids and families to go get their
teeth cracked open and clean the
fuck out. And of course, we're brought to you by
Vidora Rajpaska. He sneaked in at our $100 level. And of course, we're brought to you by Vidura Raj Pasca. He
sneaked in at our $100 level.
And the kid is a Sri Lankan comic in Berlin.
Go follow him on Instagram
Vidura Raj Pasca
and most importantly, go to his website.
Welcome to the Sandbox. What is it?
Sandbox. Live from the Sandbox.com
Live from the Sandbox.com
Look at me
I'm Sandra.
Yeah.
He can be found at Vedora Raj Pasca on all social media.
So check him out.
And that's it.
Can we talk about real quick?
Make sure you follow us out in history at history.
I mean,
it's on Instagram,
everything like that and get our t-shirts on,
on the volley apparel.com slash collection slash teas.
It's a correct open clean out.
No fumes and witch hazel.
Yeah, we're going to make that a lot easier.
We're going to get a history hyenas website.
Let me let me let me let me follow up on that.
Go ahead.
Let me look at you guys and say I'm already on it.
Yeah, we got a new member of the team.
Oh, Tony Cassis.
OK, yeah, she's made our website.
It's coming up.
We'll be up this week.
All the links.
Wow.
Wild.
Tony, we love you.
If you got any website needs, you want a website, go with Tony.
She's the best.
We're going to give her all the free advertising she wants because she's a part of our team now.
She's a huge fan of the podcast and she's joined the team.
Tony Cassis.
Thank you so much.
She's made my website and historyhyenas.com will be live very soon with all relevant links.
Yeah. Also, do we do Lake Lakeside Maple?
We got to hit those kids lakesidemaple.com 15% off your order at lakesidesidemaple.com.
You got to use the code wild.
That's the code wild to check out for 50% off your lakesidemaple.com.
The kid's got a fucking kid's a mogul and he makes believe he's not.
Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. I mean, if you you're in whole foods you can't act like you're fucking starving yeah
no lakeside maple now the kid's great yeah all right so do you want to do you want to do the
do you want to talk about what we're going to talk about or of course we do okay what are you
doing what do you got there no no no i'm just is that a poem you wrote what is that oh real quick
well here you know what real quick should we just read out the patron member names? Let's get over with.
Let's just read out the patron members, the newest members of the matriarchy.
And then we're going to get to the actual business of today.
Yeah.
Today we're talking about Jake Lingle, who is a reporter who was gunned down in Chicago.
Fucking wild.
Fucking wild.
All right.
Real quick.
Welcome to the matriarchy.
Melissa P.
Brenna Button.
Danny lives on the white side of Bay Ridge.
That means he's in the 80s. He's in the situation side of Bay Ridge. That means
he's in the 80s. He's in the situation with the mother area.
Yeah. Aaron Chikili.
What's up, Aaron? Criminal minded.
Criminal minded. That kid is
yeah, I mean.
James Frank. And I don't
say that because of Criminal Minded. I say that because it's a
Boogie Down Productions fucking album.
James Frank. James Frank and Beans.
James Franks and Beans. Derek Kenmore. What's up yeah i mean hannah blackington hannah ricky southside irish
all right matthew spiker matthew spiker who is also dan coney on instagram kids screwed in yeah
screwed in zach arman wow lauren aren't stam Nobody's even trying to get the PPW title.
Danielle.
Hi, Danielle.
Andrew Borsetti.
How you doing, Andrew Borsetti?
Sonny Tarazi.
How you doing, Sonny Tarazi?
Sean Murphy.
Hi, Sean.
Yeah, those three names sound like cops that were just involved in a scandal.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Kevin Brandt.
That's another good.
Officer Brandt.
That good Kevin Brandt.
Pete Walton.
I mean, how many cops we got on here?
Yeah. Then this next one.
Chris Uvula
is a backboard. My dick
is Tim Duncan.
Because he might be that is I'm
announcing right now. Yeah. The PPW
winner of all Patreon announcements.
Wow.
Yeah, that is the funniest name I've heard.
Chris, uvula is a backboard.
My dick is Tim Duncan.
Yeah, he's fucking, he's shooting it off your uvula, guys.
Here we go.
And then we got, next up, we got Joey got a situation with your grandmother.
That's not many good ones.
I mean, the victor's been crowned then here we go we got
diego i'm already here so build the wall i don't give a fuck peralta ruiz
that's another good one holy shit yeah wow they came in late yeah uh caroline cream of the crop
wop another good one claudio robels jake danteino, Alexandria, Brody Northwall, White Walker, Antonio Arviso.
Good.
Yeah.
Lindy Pouch.
Yeah.
What's up, Lindy Pouch?
Campbell Seagile.
That's another fucking, that's another PPW nominee.
Travis Pronko, Nicole Calhoun
and Dustin. Yeah.
Dustin Chafin's joining us.
So let's get to the fucking bit. Thank you for the newest
members of the Matriarchy. They went to patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys. They are fucking really screwed
in kids. So let's talk about
these fucking guidos. Yeah, and what we're
going to have Venetia or
Mike do is go
through all these PPWs. We're going to
do a PPW Hall of Fame.
I'm a screwed in kid.
We're going to post on the Patreon just for
you guys to enjoy and we will let you know
all time PPW Hall of
Fame. I'm telling you right now, those two kids
make a note. Their first
team all NBA
ballot fucking Hall of Fame. And for the $100
members, what we're going to start to do, we're going to bring a new thing.
A lot of times, Yana and I, when we meet up, we kamikaze each other.
And if you guys aren't part of the Patreon, if you're not at that level, what the kamikaze is, is one of us is recording the other one without the other one knowing.
So we just get, you know, it's just like you're truly in our lives because like nobody knows the other one's recording. But we're going to start for the $100 members, do the kamikaze knockouts,
where usually like somebody was,
me, I was being kamikaze,
and I say something so wild that Giannis has to stop the kamikaze.
Yeah, that happened this morning.
Yeah, we're going to play,
we're going to play what caused it to stop.
We can't play that.
For $100?
I don't think we can do that,
because I really don't think we can do that.
All right, well.
It's a good idea,
but I mean, I think mine
will be okay. Yeah. I think yours
just have to go to the grave with us.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
I don't think we can put those up.
And I'm not building suspense
either. I'm just truly looking out for my friend.
I'm not trying to get you guys intrigued.
I'm just saying we're not going to do it.
Anyway, cuz, today we're talking about
a very fascinating historical
figure and situation
with the mother. Oh, it's kind of a situation
with the mother. He had a situation with the
mafia. Oh, with them. Yeah. They killed him
or somebody killed him. It could have been the cops. This is
what's so fascinating. This is one of those
things we find. Sometimes we find some good
stories that one day, you know, are going to
be movies. Right. Guy's name was Jake Lingle.
Yeah.
Jake Lingle.
Nice name.
Let's go back to Chicago in the 30s.
So April 2nd, 1931, see?
Al Capone, he's a New Yorker, but he follows his mentor to Chicago.
Starts racketing and dealing in bootlegging, see?
Takes over.
Because his mentor, Al Capone had a mentor. Who gives a fuck
what his name is because he's not as famous as Al Capone.
He retires because there was a hit on his life and he just
said, fuck it, and he got out. Which one of the mobsters
who got out, Al Capone's
mentor, Al Capone
joined a gang in New York. He was a New York
kid. He punched a teacher. It's what
it is. He punched a teacher. It happens.
It's a female teacher he punched.
Kid was the problem. He was a female teacher. He punched. Yeah. Kid was a problem.
He's he was a real criminal.
Yeah.
Al Capone.
So he was a high school dropout, punched the teacher, joined the gang.
I think it was called the Five Points Gang.
And this kid was his mentor.
Who gives a shit what his name is?
Look it up.
Doesn't matter.
That kid convinces Al Capone to follow him to Chicago.
OK.
Al Capone goes to Chicago.
The Volstead Act happens.
Which is what?
The puritanical fucking American
wasp head
started to pop up and they said we can't have
alcohol. It was basically because they didn't like all the Irish
kids who were drunks. And make no mistake,
if you're an Irish kid, you're a fucking drunk.
It was the James Street Boys
gang ran by Johnny Torrio.
What was the Five Point Gang then?
Five Point Gang. That was when you got associated with Later.
That was Later. Okay, so
what's his mentor's name? Johnny Torrio.
Johnny Torrio. So Johnny Torrio,
right? Johnny Torrio. First of all, he
makes a good CD. Yeah. He learned it from
his mother. Yeah. Yeah.
And a lot of footy.
But he follows him
to Chicago.
Yeah.
And then he,
there's a hit that Johnny Torrio,
somebody tries to kill Johnny Torrio.
I think it was the Moran because the rival gang in Chicago
was a bunch of fucking mix.
Yeah.
Bunch of patty fly balls.
Wasn't Bugsy Moran,
wasn't he Jewish?
No, Bugsy Segal was a Jew.
Bugsy Segal, I'm sorry.
Yeah, but he's in Vegas.
Okay.
He's in Miami, he's in Vegas.
Yeah, he's got nothing to do with this,
but you know what?
Yeah, I'm just, we're fucking history hyenas. Maybe he does. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, we don't Vegas. Okay. He's in Miami. He's in Vegas. Yeah. He's got nothing to do with this, but you know what? Yeah. I'm just fucking history.
Hyenas.
Maybe he does.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When does Joe Pesci get into the story?
We got a situation with the research.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're two Wikipedia sluts and it's just what it is.
It's just what we're two cute Wikipedia sluts.
Yeah.
So he,
um, Torrio
decides
maturely because a lot of mobsters stay
too long. He just gets out of the business
because he's scared. He goes
retire somehow and he somehow lives
and lives in obscurity
or whatever goes and raises his grandkids like
fucking Tony Soprano or whatever. It's what it is
in the suburbs. And Al Pacino
takes over when the Volstead Act is what made alcohol illegal.
That's prohibition.
Right.
So then he gets into bootlegging.
Right.
And so Al Capone is in control of Chicago.
And the rival gang is a bunch of Irish kids.
Was that rival gang?
I think it was the Moran gang.
Can we get you on the Google again?
Mike, stop texting Vince.
Stop looking at your text to Venetia.
Yeah, I mean, you're in love with Venetia, and if we
have a stalker situation, we're going to have to call the cops.
Yeah, if Venetia ever goes missing, yeah, I'm rating
that fucking studio apartment.
If Venetia ever goes missing, we know who's
trying to make her into an anime doll.
Yeah.
You can just be in your room forever like this.
Yeah. With a little Chinese face.
Yeah. Yeah.
Chinese kids do anime, face. Yeah. Yeah. Because anime, Chinese kids
do anime, right? Yeah. Japanese.
Japanese, but you know. Same thing.
I mean.
Wei Shang Xing. That was a double
Wei Shang Xing. Was that a chorus Wei Shang Xing?
Yeah, that needed more than one. Yeah.
Oh, that's a double. I like it. Zack's got
tricks up his sleeve. Yeah.
He just makes it hard to fire him. Yeah.
Every week, I mean,
the fans just say, get rid of the muzzy and we can't.
We can't do it. He's good with the bike.
Pati, she's pat-a-pansy.
So,
he's in control of bootlegging. Now,
what happens is, so he's running bootlegging,
right? Al Capone's fucking, you know,
Al Capone was a kid who dressed
fit. He was a real Italian fucking sauce monk. Yeah, I saw Al Capone sell at, you know, Al Capone was a kid who dressed. He was a real Italian fucking sauce monkey.
Yeah, I saw Al Capone sell at Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, which is a haunted prison.
And I went there and I went by myself and I went the tour guide.
It was it was a four person tour.
And then they went.
I had to run to the bathroom and then I couldn't find where they were.
But they had went down the hallway to go to Al Capone sell.
But I got too scared to run down the hallway, so I just left the door.
That's what it is.
And I swear to God, I never saw Al Capone's cell, but I paid money to see it, but it's haunted in there.
Ghosts aren't real, but Chrissy's fear is.
Yeah.
All right.
For Chicago's, this whole era is called the beer wars.
You know, this is fucking mobsters fighting over territory to sell booze.
Cops are paid off.
Yes.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
More people are paid off
than we actually know.
Right.
Okay.
You got city officials.
You got police commissioners.
This is a wild time.
The Untouchables eventually,
of course, come in led by,
famously led by Elliot Ness.
They take down Al Capone
on tax evasion charges.
The kid ends up going to prison for a little while, dies poor, obscurely.
At least he was like a snowbird and he went to Florida and he died of syphilis.
Yeah.
And it's what it is.
It's what it is.
Kid got syphilis.
He got syphilis.
First job he had, Al Capone, when he got to Chicago was he was a bouncer at a brothel.
And that's when he started banging toots.
Yeah.
He got syphilis.
Yeah.
He went the way you're going to go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kid spun the wheel and he got syphilis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He got syphilis. Yeah. He went the way you're going to go. Yeah. Yeah. Kid spun the wheel and he got syphilis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But while he lived with syphilis, the kid liked expensive suits.
He liked jewelry.
He was a fucking evil fucking kid.
Yeah.
Of course, the Valentine's Day massacre was famous when he killed a bunch of kids from
Moran's gang or whatever that mixed name is.
Whatever.
What do we call Irish kids?
If Italian kids are sauce monkeys, what are Irish kids?
Beer monkeys? Beer monkeys. Potato
monkeys. Potato monkeys.
Yeah, potato monkeys.
Mugs Merle. Ladder 14. Ladder 14.
It's a character piece. My name is Paddy Mulrooney.
Yeah, and I'm Sean. No, no.
I'm Sean Tyree. Yeah, I'm Paddy Mulrooney.
Yeah, but really, we just got his preference of Chris DiStefano
saying weird things. Yeah, I'm Paddy
Mulrooney. My wife's Colleen.
My daughter's Colleen Jr.
It's what it is.
So Valentine's Day Massacre is another famous instance.
Everybody knows about that where Al Capone had a couple of his guys pretend like they were cops, lined up those guys and then assassinated them.
Nobody was ever arrested for that.
It was a wild time in Chicago.
And this was Chicago.
I didn't say nothing.
Yeah, it was.
It was one of those days.
Yeah.
Right.
And, you know, they got a different accent over there.
It's like, you know, I'm from Chicago.
It's a weird place to be.
Like, would you like another? Can I get you
a board? Listen,
New York's the only city that matters.
It's what it is. But Chicago's
beautiful. I want to get pizza.
Yeah, and Chicago's got deep dish
pizza and it's good. I'm going to
Chicago in August. Because they make their pizzas into pies. Cute. Yeah, I mean, it looks like an apple dish pizza and it's good. I'm going to Chicago in August. Because they make their pizzas into
pies. Cute.
I mean, it looks like an apple pie, but it's pizza.
But it's just a little crusty pizza.
Do you prefer Chicago pizza or New York
pizza? New York pizza.
Mike Emoji. Let's go to a real expert.
New York pizza. You go to New York
pizza? Alright, I believe Mike Emoji
faces because he's an expert. Yeah, it's what it is.
You're just a kid who fucking eats salmon and quinoa he's an expert. Yeah, it's what it is. You're just a kid who fucking eats salmon
and quinoa and throws hands now.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, you're not an FF anymore.
No, I still am now.
Yeah.
I boxed yesterday
with Paul Agassi.
I took my shirt off.
Yeah, was he sober?
Paul, no, Paul Agassi was sober
and he was real sober
and he told me,
I swear to God,
because my daughter's
been a little sick.
She had a fever.
He said, cuz, I swear to God,
he said, he said two things I'm going to tell you right now what to do.
He said, and you're not going to see this anywhere.
This is not marketed by the U.S. government.
I swear to God, he said this.
He said, number one, you want to lay her down.
You want to rub coconut oil on her feet.
I swear.
Because it sounds like a Puerto Rican grandmother's remedy.
I swear, he goes, you want to rub coconut oil on her feet.
He said, and then what you want to do also,
he said, you want to have her put socks on.
You want to slice up onions.
You want to put onions in the socks. And you want to put them at the base of her feet.
And you want to let her just sleep throughout the night with the onions.
What the onions will do is they'll absorb into the bottoms of her feet and they'll clean out any disease she has.
And then he said also another way that you could cure AIDS.
He told me a way to cure AIDS is that is there's a way with a French onion soup.
No, he said it's called like like something with the ozone layer.
He was talking to me about how
we're actually all, as human
beings, we're all part of the ozone and how
the ozone layer can just clean out your blood.
Ozone park? Ozone park, yeah.
DJ Boris? Yeah, DJ Boris.
I believe Paul Gassi because he's got a medical degree.
He does, yeah. He went to St. John's.
Yeah, he's got a degree in throwing hands, though.
Yeah, that's what it is, yeah. Did he get his BA from St. John's?
He got it from St. John's, yeah. St. John's is a good school. Yeah, it's what it is. Did he get his B.A. from St. John's? He got it from St. John's, yeah.
St. John's is a good school. No, it's a good school.
That's where Walter Berry went there.
So, it's what it is. So, shout out
to Paul DeGasse. So did Chris Mullin, my father.
Yeah, your father went there as well.
Also, go watch the Bay Ridge Boys episodes.
We're putting them out there now on our Instagram, on History
Hyenas, and also Christie Comedy and Yannis
Pompous. And I also saw a few campaigns in the comments
and I don't know if you were joking or serious going,
if you guys get sidetracked, you know,
somebody was trying to say, like, if you guys get sidetracked,
I'm fucking not listening. Well, listen, this is the
history hyenas, okay? You're going to get your history
in between us
talking about fucking Chris's syphilis.
It's just what it is. It's what it is. It's what it is.
Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. So
now
enter into this situation a kid named Jake Lingle. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. So now enter into this situation
a kid named Jake
Lingle. Yeah, Jake
Lingle. Like a Pringle, but he's Lingle. Yeah.
Jake fucking Lingle Pringle. Now, Jake
Lingle is a low-level
crime reporter. He's kind of
more of a fact-gatherer. He doesn't really even
he doesn't really even do the
story. He's not a muckraker. Right.
He's a guy who goes out there and gets the facts and brings them to the reporter.
To the reporter.
Says I got the scoop on a murder here.
And so he was a really prized possession for a lot of reporters.
And I think he was working at the Chicago Tribune.
Am I right?
Yeah.
See?
So this was a time in Chicago where everyone wanted to get the scoop.
And Al Capone was a real known figure.
He was infamous.
And this kid always seemed to know the scoop on murders and stuff like that.
So he was highly sought out,
but he was only making 65 bucks a week as a kind of a crime,
information,
crime story,
information gatherer,
right?
Not a known reporter at all.
Now,
this was a time where reporters were kind of,
um,
they were elevated.
Like they were thought of as untouchable.
And even the mafia had a hands off approach on,
on the policy of like criminals was like hands off.
Like they treated them like cops and stuff like hands off on reporters.
We're not going to kill reporters,
even though reporters are,
are reporting on us and reporting on crimes.
We know that like,
if we take down a reporter or something bad happens to reporter,
the bad things are going to happen.
It's kind of like if you kill a CIA agent overseas.
Can't do it.
You're calling in the boys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you know who learned that lesson the hard way?
The Colombian kid.
What's his fucking name?
Who?
The big one.
Pablo Escobar.
Pablo Escobar learned the hard way.
If you fuck with one of our boys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The weight of the law is coming down on you and Donald Trump's coming.
Yeah. He's coming yeah he's coming
yeah just like when um in the in the last narcos with mexico when they the mexican cartel killed
an fbi agent and now look at mexico now you have a situation with trump okay and walls built around
you and it's just a death you can't kill one of the boys you can't kill one of the boys you can
kill five million of your own people yeah as soon as you kill one of the boys. You can kill five million of your own people. Yeah. As soon as you kill one of the boys.
Yeah.
You've got a situation with the with the with the with the.
Yeah, because if Dominican Republic isn't careful with all these American tourists dying there, then we're just gonna have to make it a parking lot.
It's just what it is.
What is it?
We're going to park our jet blue planes there.
Yeah.
And El Duque is just going to he's just going to be sent back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's from Cuba. I think he's from Cuba. I'm wrong. Yeah. But. That sent back. Yeah. Jukai's from Cuba, I think. He's from Cuba.
I'm wrong.
Chapman's got to go back.
To be honest, we've got to keep him.
He throws 104.
And he beats his wife and stuff,
and he's a horrible guy, but the kid throws gas.
And the Yankees got to win the pennant.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we're keeping Chapman.
We're keeping Chapman we're keeping Chapman
I mean the kid's lefty and he's throwing
104 so unfortunately
unfortunately
you know a couple of girls gotta get disciplined
I'm sorry yeah I mean we just gotta
look the other way we need another ring
yeah yeah cuz I mean
even your mother would understand that as a good Catholic she's
still a Yankee fan right she's still a Yankee fan
yeah so yeah you know I mean we just gotta look you know the as a good Catholic. She's still a Yankee fan, right? She's still a Yankee fan. Yeah. So, yeah.
I mean, we just got to look.
You know, the cops are going to look the other way with that.
Yeah.
It's just.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're going to be like, we're going to solve this crime after the World Series.
Yeah.
Let's just.
Yeah.
Let's just see if the Yanks.
Yeah.
Let's see if the Yanks get past the Dodgers.
Yeah.
So enter.
Enter Chicago.
1930s, 20s, 30s.
Jake Lingle.
Who's Jake Lingle?
Chicago kid.
Yeah.
Chicago kid who actually
grew up with Russell who ends up
becoming the police commissioner in
Chicago. They grew up together.
They grew up together. My Uncle Russell?
No, not your Uncle Russell. It's not
a cat competition? No, it's not this
Uncle Russell. It's more this Uncle Russell
from Chicago. He ends up
becoming a police chief and doing
a couple of hulkies here and there. And I'm from Chicago. Yeah. He ends up becoming a police chief and, you know, throwing a couple of hulkies here and there.
And I'm from Chicago.
Yeah.
So they meet when he's like a young cop.
And like this kid is, believe it or not,
a semi-professional baseball player.
Wow.
So this kid could have been your grandfather.
Yeah, my grandfather.
Who had a couple of families.
Yeah, he had a couple of families.
And he played semi-pro for the New York Giants.
Because if you don't think that before you turn 40,
you're not going to have three families
because you're going to impregnate two more women.
Yeah, cuz.
Yeah.
It's what it is, cuz.
It's just what it is.
You got a high sperm count and you get people pregnant.
It's what it is.
Cuz, you got so much sperm,
I think you could put that dick in Mike's ass
and there'd be a baby to come out.
Yeah.
Cuz, I think you could make a white walker in Mike's ass.
Like a little fucking little chalupa coming out.
Because it's just what it is.
Yeah.
ISIS is a Muslim.
Yeah.
It's what it is.
He's got tattoos on his fingers.
Because they're not a, they're just not a fan of Jesus Christ.
Because ISIS has bangs.
What the fuck is going on?
Because I didn't ask ISIS's opinion on Chicago pizza because it's not.
It's not.
Yeah.
I don't.
Yeah.
What a fucking goat fucker.
All right, so let's get back to talking about this FF.
Jake Lengel.
So turns out he's a highly connected kid.
Okay.
Right.
He's a highly connected kid, but this comes out later
because what happens is he gets fucking murdered.
He's a reporter, low level, unknown reporter at the time,
but he gets murdered.
How does he get murdered?
His witnesses say he's walking.
There's two guys walking with him.
They get on the train.
The kid's smoking a cigar.
One of his friends sees him on the train, doesn't say anything to him.
Some judge who knew him or whatever says he doesn't look concerned.
He's walking with the two guys.
The two guys are walking with him.
One was a blonde guy.
One was a brunette guy
while they're walking they get out of the train
one of the kids steps back and plugs
him in the back of the head
they throw the gun and run of course they filed the serial numbers
off the gun they both get away
how would they even have found it anyway the fingerprints
and all that wasn't a technology yet
I don't yeah well they could trace it
from the serial numbers of where it was purchased
so that's why they filed off the. I think they had fingerprints at that point.
Oh, the kid also had a silk glove on. He threw the glove.
But it's so 1930s that the kid just ran away and got away.
Yeah. I mean, nowadays, nobody's getting away. No, no.
They'll get a they'll get a piece of your hair or something. You're something you're done.
So both these kids get away. One of the one somebody on the train tries to pursue one of the other suspects and he gets blocked by a priest, a guy in a collar.
Turns out this was like a 15 person operation.
Really?
And there was plants there to help like run defense to make these guys get away.
So they both get away and they disappear into the crowds or whatever.
Nobody ever actually knows who did it or why.
Now, here's the situation with this kid, Cenk Legle.
The press gets really scared, right?
And the press is like, holy shit.
Cause like I said, this was a time where reporters were like untouchable people.
They were like diplomats.
You couldn't arrest them.
They were like untouchable.
You couldn't fuck with the press and nobody did.
And now we got a murdered reporter in Chicago during the beer wars, during prohibition, during the
height of Al Capone's heyday, during
the gang wars.
Bodies everywhere in Chicago at this point.
Fucking crime happening, murders happening.
So
the press in Chicago
kind of, you know, they're competing
with each other. But because they got a dead reporter,
they all kind of
get on the same page and say, we got
to find who did this and make this a thing.
Because they killed one of our boys. They're basically going, you took
one of our boys. Yeah, you can't do that. So they put
out a jihad, basically. Yep.
On
the mob. Okay.
On the underworld. And they started just
fucking shaking guys down. The cops
started really, and even the police
commissioner, Russell, was like, we're going to make this play.
He famously said, this place is going to be squeaky
quiet. He's like, they started really
giving people a problem. You know what I mean?
They knew who the guys were. They knew who the underworld
guys were, but nobody was coming forward saying
how this kid got killed
and who did it. Now, as this went
on, all the papers started to put
rewards up for whoever comes forward
with the people who murdered.
This is what your ward fucking Chicago Tribune offers 25.
Then whatever other,
um,
gazettes,
media outlets,
whatever you want to call them.
They're all offering.
The reward ends up being like 55,
60 grand combined.
Wow.
A lot of money.
Hell yeah.
A lot of money.
A lot of money now.
It's not Al Capone money,
but you know,
it's like Pete Davidson money.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, um,
so as time goes on and they're looking for these killers and it's like front
page paper and the war on the underworld is going on and the police are
cracking down. There's some muckrakers, muckrakers,
or muckrakers like a guy who, you know, pulls up information,
a good journalist. Okay. They start looking into this kid.
They start looking into Jake Lengel,
right, who's now fucking famous.
Yeah. He was an unknown reporter, now he's famous.
And they start to find all this information
on this kid. Kid had a diamond
to start with when he got killed, right?
He had nine grand in his
pocket, cash. Cash.
Which, which, I'm no
mathematician. Yeah. I'm no I'm no mathematician. Yeah.
I'm no mathematician
out of 14.
Yeah.
But nine grand in 1931,
that's going to get you
a nice house in Bay Ridge.
100%.
That's a lot of cash.
That's the money,
that's what I got back
from my baby mama's
engagement ring.
Nine grand cash.
It's a lot of cash.
Yeah.
It's fucking cash.
So why is this fucking
lowly reporter
who's getting paid 65,
what'd I say it was?
$65 a week.
$65 a week.
Thanks, Mikey.
I appreciate it.
So he's getting paid $65 a week.
Why does he have nine grand cash in his pocket?
He's got a belt on.
What's he got on that belt?
He's got diamond, all fucking 14 carat or whatever.
It's good.
I'm no, I'm no screwed in kid.
So I don't know about diamonds.
Yeah.
Kid's got an expelled expensive belt on.
Turns out, what was this belt?
Where do you get the belt?
Gift from Al Capone.
Wow.
This kid is plugged in, plugged in.
He's plugged in with politicians, police commissioner.
The reporter.
This, we're talking about Jake Lingle.
Yeah. Who the, who the episode's about. Lot of 14. Yeah. Jake Lingle. He's, he's plugged in with politicians, police commissioner, the reporter. This we're talking about Jake Lingle. Yeah.
Who the who the episode's about.
A lot of 14.
Yeah.
Jake Lingle.
He's he's plugged in.
Another reporter, you know, finds out.
Is that the Blake?
But look at that fucking thing.
That's a reporter wearing that.
Only a sauce monkey because Italians love their jewelry.
They love that shit.
You want to hear something?
Paul Verzi's father is we, you know, we talked about him in the aliens are wild episode.
He's an Italian kid from the Bronx, you know, and of course
he's an Italian kid from the Bronx, so he's just racist.
He's an Italian kid and he's from the Bronx
and he grew up in like the Bronx tale era, but one
thing he did say to Paul, he goes, you know, I tell you what, these black
kids, they know their jewelry. Yeah. He said,
one thing these fucking rappers, they go with it, they know their
fucking jewelry. Yeah. Because, you know, he's got a pinky ring
the whole deal. Yeah. So that is
an Italian belt buckle, right?
Yeah. Can we throw that up on the let's take
a picture of that for the Instagram. Send that to me. So like
what we put on Patreon or whatever. So
the kid
they start researching his connection
to the police commissioner, to politicians,
to judges, and worst
of all, to
fucking the mafia.
Al Capone even later said in like 30 or 31, he goes, yeah, that's one of my guys.
A good guy.
But he says, we don't know.
We didn't kill him.
He goes, but the police know who do, who did.
Now, this is a kid who always seemed to have the scoop.
He was plugged in.
Also was a gambler, owed a lot of people money that started to come out.
He owed a lot of legit businessmen and mobsters money.
So he was borrowing a lot of money,
probably had a gambling problem.
To this day, much like Charlie Ross,
or no, what was the other big one we did
where we didn't never knew who did it?
Jack the Ripper?
Jack the Ripper.
We did a few of these good ones.
This is another good find.
Yeah.
They don't know who,
at the end of the day,
some kid got arrested.
The kid that got arrested,
his name, what was his fucking name?
Leo Brothers.
Okay.
They arrested some fucking small time thug, Leo Brothers, who was like in St. Louis or
whatever.
But it wasn't him.
Historians think he just took the rap.
He said like 14 years, I'll do that.
14 years.
He goes, I'll do that standing on my head.
No big deal.
And then he lived out, he died in St. Louis of a heart attack.
He was some low level mobster.
So it's like nobody knows. Some other kid got
arrested because they
traced the gun to him. Some other fucking
kid. You can Google it. Big deal. He
ended up getting off the kid who they
traced the gun sale to
I think the other gun or
something, some shit. But he got off
some other kid. It could have been he got off
at the end of the day. Nobody really knows who did it. the interesting thing and why i bring it up is it could have been
the cops right this could have been the cops those kids could have been the cops because he was he
was taking money from all sides he was a kid who always seemed to know the crimes group this is
like a real la confidential kind of story right you remember remember what's his name the kid who
likes to find a little boys or he got accused of it i I mean, who? Jared Fogle? No, not Jared Fogle. Not little boys.
I mean, he's like, you know, he's he's been considered a sexual predator by me, too. And
he was in I'm just I haven't Spacey Kevin. I have early onset bad. Yeah. Because you think that this
is a problem that I can't pull up a name like Kevin Spacey? No, because I think I think it's
a professional medical opinion. My professional man, am I think I think it's a professional medical opinion.
My professional.
Am I going to have Alzheimer's?
You could.
But even if you do, it's OK, because you got to just live in the moment.
Don't worry about it.
I'm listening to this guy.
I think his name is sued guru or sad guru, the Indian guy.
And he's been really helping me out with a lot of like just staying in the moment stuff.
Is he an Eastern Hemi?
He's an Eastern Hemi.
No,
he's,
uh,
he's,
um,
he's a Sandra D.
Oh,
he's a Sandra D.
Yeah.
I sent him.
I sent him.
That's what he is.
Yeah.
So,
uh, like I said,
this kid was plugged in with,
uh,
police commissioner,
Russell deputy commissioner,
Stiggy or Steg or whatever.
And this was from paid nudes.
And it came out that this kid's got all types of connections to the underworld.
So this was a real kind of black eye.
Right.
You know, it ended up being this crusade to protect journalists.
But this kid ended up being, you know what?
Fake news.
Yeah.
It's just what it is, your fake news.
Your fucking crumbum.
Yeah, he ended up being fucking fake news.
And the story kind of changed a little bit.
Those facts started to come out and the story changed.
Of course, the reporters still tried to say we still need to capture the people who did this. But the public kind of turned because this was like the public got it.
Much like Charlie Ross, the public was like this was unheard of.
Right. To kill a journalist.
Yeah. This was national news and front page news in Chicago.
Right. But then it turned out this fucking reporter was corrupt and on the take.
Yeah. And he the public opinion started to sway
to like he kind of got what he deserved.
So it's a very interesting story.
That's very interesting. It's what it is.
Mike, you got something to say?
You look like you were just
getting ready for something.
Should we make some calls?
We got to call some people.
Can we call the first person we like to call?
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, $25 members.
We give them a call live on the podcast.
And if you don't know, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, our lowest tier $5 members.
You get an extra episode every week.
So if you want to hear further details about Jake, Jake Lingle, Jake Lingle and Al Capone in Chicago in their 30s.
Go join Patreon.com, our $5 level.
You get an extra bonus episode.
Those episodes are, I mean, if you could join now,
what do we have, like 100 episodes to binge? It's sick.
There's like 100 plus episodes you can binge.
And even if you join at the $5 level, our lowest level,
there's like 70 plus episodes to binge and a few other pieces of content
because every week there is a
bonus episode on patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys where we
just do all types of things a lot of 14.
Alright, let's call
Nicole Stevenson. Okay. I don't know. this is just people sitting in their car listening to
skype ringing skyping it's nice yeah it's peaceful hello hey nicole stevenson what's
up this is uh chris de stefano and janice papas from the history hyenas how you doing
oh i'm good i'm good how I'm good. How about you?
Good. Do you accept Donald Trump as your lord and savior?
Um,
I mean, Trump 2020, of course.
Wow!
York. I can't
support Trump. Exactly. Where are you from?
I'm from Maryland,
but I live in Manhattan.
Wow!
Do you go to Bryant Park
and get margarita?
Bryant Park?
No, I'm by Washington Square Park. I'm at lunch
right now. Oh, wow. You're by us.
Oh, yeah.
Don't say that because Krista Teacher,
if you see a man in a Mets jersey
sweating from his forehead, that's Krista
Teacher. Please run the other way.
Because you just gave your location.
Yeah, you just gave your location. Yeah, you just gave your location
and out of there. Yeah, Chris the teacher's on the way
right now to Union Square Park to find you.
Yeah, no, Washington Square Park, Washington Square Park.
Wow, that's cool. We're so close
to you. Do you want to have lunch?
Baby, what? Yeah, we're going to go to Joe's pizza.
Baby, you want to you want to get a slice?
I'll get some meat.
Yeah. What do you do for work,
babe? I work as
a paralegal at a law firm
oh that's fucking good job
yeah it's a good job but like you know it sucks
you know right
pays the bills but like gross
what's your favorite moment of the podcast
so far what did you like best
I think I liked
my first episode that I ever
listened to
which was the Queen Elizabeth one
that is mostly because
when I listened to it I had no idea what the fuck you guys
were saying and now I feel like I've grown so much
I understand now
you know what's going on now
there is totally a language and a culture to our podcast
that you have to become familiar
you gotta listen to a couple episodes
to kind of figure out what everything means
yeah get into it I tried to recommend it to my friend and she was like absolutely no You have to listen to a couple episodes to kind of figure out what everything means.
Yeah, get into it.
I tried to recommend it to my friend and she was like,
absolutely not.
Hey, this is Mike. This is not Yanis because I'm a married kid, so I just want to say you sound
like a piece.
Oh, thanks. I think I am.
You're from Rome. Are you single?
I got to give a shout out to my boyfriend
Chris.
I'm not going to tell him that you called because I want him to listen first because he loves you guys.
Yeah.
He is also a piece, a screwed in kid at med school right now.
Wow.
Wow.
Tell Chris if he wants.
This is Chrissy D.
Tell Chris if he wants.
Chris will crack him open, too.
Yeah, I'll crack him open.
Or I could just tuck my dick back and he can fuck me in the ass and make believe it's you.
He's not going to let you in his lap.
But listen, you're a screwed in kid.
You're not going to be a paralegal for long
because your boy's going to med school.
So pretty soon you're just going to be a
fucking Bay Ridge housewife.
Yeah, basically.
Alright, babe. Love you. Thanks so much for listening.
We love you, babe.
Yeah.
Look, Chris, you're listening right now. Let We love you, babe. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Let me
look. Chris, you're listening right now. Let me tell
you right now. You got a good woman
on your hands. Yeah. Because she did
the I got a boyfriend rule
in like less than three seconds.
Yeah. No, she's smart. Yeah. And we were just joking.
You know, we don't care. We call everybody a piece. We don't even
know who she is. No, but I'm sure she's a piece. She sounds like
I mean, Mike Emoji's a piece. We're all pieces.
Let's go, Mike. I mean, all right. We're gonna call Michael Labine. Yeah. I'm a fucking piece sure she's a piece. She sounds like a piece. I mean, Mike Emoji's a piece. We're all pieces. Let's go, Mike. I mean, all right. We're going to call
Michael Labine. Yeah, I'm
a fucking piece. You are a piece. I'm a fucking
cute kid. But you know when a girl does that
when she goes like, and I just want to give a shout out to my
boyfriend real quick. Yes, she's a loyal
girl. Yeah, that's a loyal girl.
All right. We got to hurry up.
We got to we got to hurry up. This
kid pick up. We got to hurry up because Chris is hitting
his own Heybert time limit. I can see it in his face. The kid is fucking fed up. Did this kid pick up? Yeah, we got to hurry up because Chris is hitting his own Haybert time limit.
I can see it in his face.
The kid is fucking fed up.
Catholic guilt Chrissy?
Yeah.
What's up, cuz?
How you doing?
What up, cuzzy wuzzy?
Where do you live?
Minneapolis.
What?
Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm fucking coming out that way
Soon, do you like Minneapolis?
Minneapolis is okay, man
You're gonna go to the Mall of America
It's where that house of comedy is
They haven't put your tickets up to say yet
Because I have them Friday
But it's basically like
For the people who go to the Impractical Jokers cruise
Let's see them at the mall
Let's just be as princes from out there, right?
Yeah, yeah, princes from How about, I don out there, right? Yeah. Yeah, Prince is from out there.
Eat a little Juicy Lucy.
Yeah, I was about to say, you could just be honest and say from, you know, November to May, you want to stick a revolver in your face.
I mean, you guys get that cold weather out there.
But I mean, we basically live in a polar vortex where, yeah, people are just kind of depressed.
And everybody else, well, Chris has got big tries to push it down the gate.
We got big tries to push everything inside.
That's what it is.
We're just sad for six months of the year.
What do you do for work?
I'm a mortgage processor.
I push paperwork around to get people's money being approved.
Yeah, that's what you do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You sound like the mom from Bobby's World.
His accent, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, who are you presently cracking open and cleaning out?
You got a girlfriend?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You know, I had an Eastern Hemi girlfriend for a little bit,
and we're kind of off and on right now.
I've been in the wheel.
Wow.
Chrissy's got a new
Eastern Hemi girlfriend too
that he went to
Salty Dog with.
Yeah, I went to Salty Dog
with my new
Eastern Hemi girlfriend.
She's a Jap
and then the first episode
she listened to
was the Pearl Harbor one.
Come on.
Japanese.
I was trying to tell my friends
about the history I in
and I'm showing everybody
the Pearl Harbor podcast
and I think it's a little
too wild for everybody.
Yeah, that's not the first.
You don't start them off.
Yeah, don't start off with that one yet.
Yeah, we've we've made a couple of calls saying it seems like people's friends are not enjoying our podcast.
Have you found that it's a hard time?
I have a bunch of friends that I enjoy.
Now, I spread the podcast out to three or four of my really good friends that, you know, we are all just podcast listeners.
A lot of us work from home and whatnot.
And people love the history hyenas are out here.
Yeah. When you guys do go wild. Yeah and whatnot. And people love the history hyenas are out here. Yeah.
Keep up.
Right.
When you guys do go wild.
Yeah.
Well,
it is called the history hyenas.
And as you know,
we're wild,
especially Chrissy.
He's a fucking wild kid.
I mean,
the kid is transgendered.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
The,
the,
the,
I mean,
there's so many great,
so great,
but the,
I mean,
Pearl Harbor is going to be my favorite.
Hey, boo!
All right, puppets.
Go ahead.
Was Wei Shunqing button broken during that one, or what?
Yeah, well, we were supposed to cackle
stuff, and, you know, Zach was
doing bars and shit,
so... It was 4th of July.
It was 4th of July.
That's what it is.
All right, cuz cuz you reached the
time limit so I'm sorry
alright see you later
go back to your Minnesota home
alright see you later
kid's a good fan cuz he haybirded himself
when you haybird yourself we know you're a super
fan yeah and listen if you're listening
to us a lot of people love the calls
cuz we go wild but listen when you recommend
to your friends, you're
a history hyena fan now.
So you know you don't start with
Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Start with something
light. Start with something light. Maybe start
with any Greek
episode. Battle of Crete.
I was going to say, I think that's a great starter episode of the Battle of Crete.
It's actually great that we just said this on the podcast
so everyone hears it. If you're going to recommend it to
your friends, start with Battle of Crete and let
them work their way all the way to Pearl Harbor.
Yeah. Let them get familiar with
fucking Wild Chrissy. Yeah.
Call her Lindsay Pouch.
Think of Battle of Crete as this
nice salad.
And then when you, you know,
then you have a nice appetizer, a little calamari
with maybe Queen Elizabeth.
And then you just don't know you're in Nigeria
and you're eating monkey brains.
Hello?
Wait, who is this?
What's your name?
Don't tell me to hold out. I'll discipline you.
Okay, okay.
By myself, I'll take his first call.
Who is this? What's your name?
Lindsay. Oh my God.
This is Chris. This is Chris Stefano,
a.k.a. King Gay and
Giannis Pompous with a history
hyenas. We want to thank you for your service. Why
are you whispering? What are you doing? You flicking the bean?
I'm at work,
bro. I'm at work. Oh, what do you
work? She was whispering like she was like kidnapped by
a serial killer. Where do you work? What? Where do you work, babe? I work in Oh, what do you work? She was whispering like she was like kidnapped by a serial killer.
Where do you work?
What?
Where do you work, babe?
I work.
I work in Seattle, man.
I'm surrounded by granolas.
I know.
You're whispering like there's an intruder in your house.
You're trying to tell the cops.
And then I just go and stay on the phone with us.
Seattle's a good city.
I'm surrounded by granolas.
Oh, granolas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lakeside maple.
Yeah, yeah.
So are you whispering because you're a Trump
voter and you're in Portland?
I'm in Seattle,
but yeah, pretty much. I can't, you know,
I got to keep my job. I got to pay my
Patreon bill.
I can't get fired. Chrissy can arrange for a helicopter
to get you out of there so we can take you
to fucking...
Yeah, my baby mama's new boyfriend, I think he owns like a limo company or something so we can take you yeah my baby mama's new boyfriend
I think he owns like a limo company or something so we can get
you a limo
babe babe babe
babe babe wait listen babe
what's been your favorite
podcast of the favorite moment of the
potty waddy so far
I mean just all of them are so good
not a bad one but I gotta say
Spartacus was wild
Spartacus was a good one.
Now, next time you come to New York,
do you want to get comfy one-foot with me in my
love sack?
Sure.
How old are you, babe? You sound
like a girl in her 20s.
You are correct. 22.
Wow! She's a young kid.
Wow, she's ice at this age.
Yeah, 22-year year old kid, young kid
Fucking future right ahead of you
Good for you babe
Now this is the question we've been asking all our callers
Gun in your head, you got one choice
You want to live, you got to crack open
Zach ISIS or Mike Emojiface
Who's getting cracked open and cleaned out
Yeah
I got to go with Zach ISIS
Wow Why? What's the reasoning? I gotta go with Zach Isis wow
why
what's the reasoning
I haven't seen
Mike
because Mike Emoji
Faces
anime design
is stupid
yeah
no what's the reason
who knows
six of one
half a dozen
of the other
true
right
you're in a bad
situation
both ways you've reached the hey bird time limit babe
we just want to say thank you so much for your service
and go back to work around those granolas
keep whispering keep doing
your thing Trump 2020
okay bye
Wei Zhongxian Zach please just clear
the Trump stuff yeah just Wei Zhongxian
me and Chris are Bernie supporters
yeah we love Bernie
I voted for fucking
beta male O'Rourke. Yeah, I'm going
for Kamala Harris. Yeah, same.
Yeah. Alright,
do we have one more call? We have two more calls.
Okay, hurry up.
This is
Danny Possibly Jihad.
Should we do a shirt that says, I want to be here?
Yeah, that would be a funny shirt. I want to be here?
Yeah. I want to be here. This. That would be a funny shirt. I want to be here? Yeah. I want to be here.
Oh, this is Danny Jihad?
Yeah, possibly Jihad.
Yeah.
Hello?
What's up, Danny?
Possibly Jihad.
This is Chrissy D and Yanni P
from the History Hyenas.
What's up, buddy?
How are you?
What are you doing?
I mean, that kid is,
he's a sociopath.
That kid has no emotion.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, he's taking a call like a sociopath. That kid has no emotion. Yeah.
He's taking a call like it's fucking from his dad who calls him every 10 minutes. The kid is
not happy at all. You're talking to Chrissy D and
Yanni P. This is the greatest thing that ever happened in your
life.
Sorry, guys. Just, I'm
about 30 feet in the air and I do not feel safe
up here at all. Wow.
What do you mean? What's going on? What do you mean?
I do a HVAC installation for
work and
yeah. Oh, so you're high up in the air.
You may not have want to take this call.
Yeah, but you still took the call anyway because you're
fucking wild.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, because you're really hot. Where are you doing
HVAC? What stadium? Because don't fall.
Tulsa, Oklahoma.
But if you do fall, keep your phone
on because it'll be good Patreon content.
Yeah.
Yeah, cuz. Yeah.
So you're in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Yeah, so okay, you put in HVAC.
You're in Tulsa, Oklahoma, so if you do fall, it's kind of an improvement.
Yeah.
Yeah, cuz.
I mean, what's it going to do in Tulsa, Oklahoma? I'm talking to you guys. Now, are you What's he gonna do in Tulsa?
I'm talking to you guys.
Yeah, I mean,
now, are you a white kid,
a black kid,
a Puerto Rican kid?
What are you?
I mean, he's in Oklahoma.
He's a white kid. I'm Mexican,
but I look white.
White.
Mexican, but you look white.
Yeah, now,
he's an undercover white walker.
He's an undercover white walker.
Yeah.
Yeah, now,
you got a girlfriend?
What are you doing?
No, right now,
I'm pretty single,
you know, just banging out some to single, you know, just banging out some
toots, you know, just living the life.
It's called Chrissy D's style.
Yeah, it's called Spinning the Wheel.
Yeah, you have a little Spin the Wheel Saturdays.
Do you want to come to Nantucket tomorrow
with me and Deebo?
Get on a JetBlue flight.
Yeah, me and Deebo going to Nantucket.
He's a short guy
He fucking
He's got the same size
Suitcase as my daughter
But he's a
But he's a pilot
For JetBlue
Yeah
Alright cuz
Listen you reached
The Haybird time limit
Just real quick
Before you've fallen
Out of the HVAC unit
What's been your favorite
Moment of the pod
Probably the one
Where you just
Go wild last episode.
The one about
Harper and Harper and just start calling everybody, you know,
Japanese.
Yeah, he called them that. That's exactly what he called them.
Way so. Really fucking wild on that one.
Yeah. But you liked it though. Yeah.
I love it. I love it.
Well, here's the deal. You guys are the shit.
We figured out, if you're going to recommend the podcast
to people, don't start with that episode.
Yeah, start with Battle of Crete and let them
work their way up to that. Yeah, start off
with a little... Yeah, definitely. Okay, if you had
to crack open Mike Emojiface or Zeitgeist,
which one would you crack it open?
And why? Man, I have to take...
I think I have to take Zeitgeist, because he's a little piece
himself. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed.
Thanks, brother. Alright, thanks, man.
Thanks for your service. Stay alive alive thank god that kid didn't
fall alive on air yeah I mean but if it
would have been real nice to get that on air
it would yeah it would have been real good
Taylor cuz are we just gonna
create that $5,000 patreon level
where we just
prostitute you out for five grand you get
the bank Christy yeah
yeah
who is this Taylor Taylor what's up babe and you get to bang Christy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Who is this?
Taylor.
Taylor.
What's up, babe?
I'm doing so amazing.
I wanted to tell you that I have chlamydia.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just found out two days ago.
Oh, my God.
How did it?
I mean, this girl's fucking wild.
Yeah.
I want to fucking marry you. Holy shit. Holy shit. Now, what happened?
Just because I've had chlamydia too.
Did you have a burn when you
peed? No,
I had no symptoms, but I went to go
get birth control at Planned Parenthood and
I got a call the next day saying I
got chlamydia. You got the fucking clap,
huh? Fucking shit. Who do you think
did it? Yeah. Do you know who did it?
It's me,
I think, because I never used
protection. No, I'm saying, but do you know
the guy? Do you know the guy who cracked you open?
I think she's
been a lot. Yeah, she's saying there's too many to choose
from. How many in the last month?
How many times have we went raw, dog?
Let's say month.
10. 10. Yeah, yeah, dog? Let's say month. 10.
10, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's your 22, though.
25.
Yeah, it's just what happens.
You just get banged out.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
Is your name Krista DiStefano?
Yeah, sure.
You sound like the female version of Chrissy D.
You're spinning the wheel.
Yeah.
I love it.
I mean, well, when you, after the antibiotics, I mean, I'd love to invite you to New York.
Yeah, I was going to say, do you guys want to crack each other open and clean each other out and see if both your chlamydia's cancel each other out?
Yeah.
Do you want to do that?
Maybe two positives equal a negative.
Yeah.
You want to have a chlamydia fast?
Because maybe.
I actually fancy myself some yannies.
Wow.
This is a girl with lower standards.
Let me ask you a question.
Where do you live?
I live in Orange County.
LA? Cali?
Orange County.
The nicer part of California.
How old are you? You sound like a young kid.
25. 25 year old kid.
Ice's age.
She's older than Ice's.
I go to the comedy store a lot
and I actually
met Brian Callen and he invited
me to go to a taping of Fight Area and the Kid One.
Did he crack you open?
No, he wanted
to crack my mom open though.
Wow.
When we went to go see him, she was like,
no one is fucking Brian Callen tonight, okay?
Wow. Wow.
Wow. Wow. Yeah, well, you know
what? We appreciate you being a fucking
loyal member of the Patreon
and listen, if there's a time
where you need to pause your membership because you got to pay
for antibiotics, you can do that.
No, it's okay.
I enjoy supporting you guys. I just,
I would like there to be more fart on the
podcast. Absolutely. You missed the fart. I like this girl.
Now, if I come to LA, is there a chance we've come
to Comedy Store? Can I crack you open or your mom open
or you're just not that into me?
You can have my mom. She's only 42.
She's pretty cute. But yeah, not me
because you're not into me. You like Yanni. She likes older
guys. She likes guys with Alzheimer's.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
She wrapped us up thank you Taylor
love you Taylor
thank you so much
for being a part of the podcast
thank you for your service
thank you
I love when the fans
she's great
she's great Taylor
I love when they give us
the hey Bert
she just went
what was her name
Taylor what
Taylor may or may not have fumes
yeah she's a funny girl
funny funny girl
Taylor Taylor we love you
alright well thank you
listen that's how you write.
Yeah, let's just say Taylor,
fucking make the guys wear it.
I mean, come on.
Yeah, put a ring on it.
You gotta glove up.
Yeah, glove up, okay?
You gotta glove up.
All right, thanks guys for listening.
Appreciate it.
History Hyenas on Instagram,
Christy Comedy and Yanis Pappas on Instagram.
What is yours on Instagram?
At Mike V. Suarez.
At Mike V. Suarez.
And then Zachy?
At Z the Dropout underscore.
And my new website,
yanispappascomedy.com
for dates
fuck yeah ស្រូវនប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.