History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 84 - Joey Camasta is WILD!

Episode Date: August 18, 2019

The boys talk with Snooki's best friend Joey Camasta and Chris goes absolutely WILD!!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼�...��♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. It's your two favorite TBGs, Christy DiStefano, Chrissy in the Closet, and Yanni Phillips Head Pappas. And we're here with one of our best gays. Happy Pride Month. Joey Camasta, a.k.a. Joey Pump and Dump. Thank you so much for finally coming.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Oh my God, thank you for having me, guys. Chrissy pre-comes this year, and good old Greek yogurt. Yeah! I posted a picture of myself in a suit last week, and you commented pissing my ass. Yes. I posted a picture of myself in a suit last week and you commented piss in my ass. Yes, I did. We've loved it.
Starting point is 00:01:09 We've loved it on the podcast. I mean, you look sharp in that suit. I appreciate that. Was that from the men's warehouse? No, actually. It's from my friend is a designer, Giovanni Brasciani at SRG Fashion. And and he he got me a suit. Custom.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Custom size. You liked it. Yeah, it was sharp thank you 38 no i'm a 36 now oh good congratulations um thank you um you posted and you have one of our favorite pics when he was in the leopard ones i was about to say all our friends know yeah all our friends know who he is because we talk about joy camasa all the time yeah we talk about you all the time that leopard onesie that's when i was in the dominican republic you look fucking hot now i made it out alive because everyone's over there dying yeah no
Starting point is 00:01:48 yeah because because you're so gay it's contagious like me like me and yannick so like yeah so like we will talk like this and we love the way we feel after we hang out with you like i after we did you your podcast um um it must have been a year ago yeah um we were fucking like just like this for like it could feel so great it's so great you guys started docking is it anyone who have it must have been a year ago. Yeah. We were fucking like, just like this. For like, because it feels so great. It's so great. You guys started docking.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Is it anyone who has foreskin here? Do you have foreskin? No, I'm kind of. Circumcised. Okay, so we can't really play that right now unless we have a Latino. Mike, are you circumcised? Do you have foreskin? Huh?
Starting point is 00:02:18 I'm circumcised. He has foreskin. You're circumcised too? I'm circumcised. Zach, are you circumcised? Yeah. We need to go to a bad neighborhood if we're going to find some foreskin today yeah that's that's the act of you like pulling the skin over your your dick so if you don't you can just pull you know put them together
Starting point is 00:02:32 head to head now you're in here with a black eye and you said it's a not a black eye black eye yeah you said it's it's from a gay sex thing so what happened yeah well i got cockeyed okay um i didn't say come no i was getting wrestling um the other day trying to keep my young looks up. I'm 40. Oh, you're 40? Are you kidding me? Fantastic. I just got it the first time.
Starting point is 00:02:51 I got my Botox done in there. Now I look like I got a black eye. I know you got your Botox. Oh, when you got to college, what's his name? Dr. Richard? Dr. Maggio. Yes, I follow you. Your Instagram is the funniest thing ever.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Oh, thank you. Yeah, follow me. Mr. P79. You don't even need it, though. You look so young. You look so good. Well, you know, the trick is you keep an extra 60 pounds on you and a puff settle the wrinkles.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Do you think you look strong? I mean, this kid's so strong. I mean, you do, you look like you're gonna either, we're either gonna fuck or you're gonna fix my plumbing.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah. Yeah. Every time I show up to do a makeup job, they're like, you know, set up over there. They put the camera crew in there.
Starting point is 00:03:20 So yeah. And we, and we use you as an example because we call ourselves tbgs true blue gays but we say because it's like because it's one of those things where it's like you're 100 no doubt about it have been gay from the second you came out of the mother's womb yeah so so it was it was it was so that's what we say like like that's a true tbg it's like joey camasta level gay those are the gays that we want around those are the gays that we love where it's like you're fucking just we love it embrace
Starting point is 00:03:48 it i never saw a snurb close up no right no you've never even experienced with a vagina you never i mean i did i did once like i fingered a girl on my couch like a few years ago and then i couldn't unfit she couldn't finish because i was giggling the whole time but i did try gave the old college try But I almost got tennis elbow Doing that for 45 minutes I know it sucks It's so much easier
Starting point is 00:04:09 To suck a dick Truly Or try to go down on a girl Every time I get a sore throat And there's been a couple of times Where you know It was non-consensual But I got a couple of dicks
Starting point is 00:04:16 In my mouth And I never got a sore throat From that So you can't get it Yeah I told you I've talked about it On the podcast I got held down
Starting point is 00:04:23 And it's called fuck butt You know what I would love is if Joey, he catches you on Grindr. Because I know you're on there once in a while. I'm not on Grindr. You peruse once in a while. I'm not on Grindr. Do you know that Craigslist isn't there anymore? You're anonymous.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Anonymous. Pump it down. Yeah. No, I don't. To be honest, these guys, as a gay, I'm an ally. I'd suck a dick right off you. No, and I appreciate that. And I appreciate that. But you're not getting any gay vibes from gay yeah i'm i've i'm an ally i have to dick right off you no and i appreciate that and i appreciate that but you're not getting any gay vibes from me you don't think i'm gay i'm a heterosexual male yeah yeah you're comfortable the ones only ones are like
Starting point is 00:04:52 heterosexual the ones that are gay they're like big homophobes that's the one that's like out there shouting like against gays and hates them that means they're like closeted they hate something in themselves yeah so like guys are comfortable doing it you know that's 100% true 100% true straight guys no matter what are gonna like the only people are straight guys that say like you know oh with guys head on they get pissed off those are the ones that are sucking dick in the closet behind there the ones that are comfortable they love straight guys love being looked at whether it's a girl
Starting point is 00:05:16 guy whoever someone tells them they're good looking mix their whole fucking day so it's the whole day now they don't care now you you're you know from New Jersey right yeah I'm like I would imagine the honest i imagine like your your mom and dad are like very like old school like new jersey like your dad's fucking a real guy like that yeah so like and it's always been accepted you being gay has always been accepted yeah that's beautiful my dad's a big queen i always thought he was gay but he's not
Starting point is 00:05:39 he's a big queen my mother calls him myrna um because he's a nosy in everyone's business and watches general hospital but um do you think your dad's gay um i don't because he's a nosy in everyone's business and he watches General Hospital. Do you think your dad's gay? I don't think he's gay, but I definitely think he's probably like... He's on the round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's very interesting. He's a ladyboy. Because I always think well, Giannis loves ladyboys. That's actually his preferable
Starting point is 00:05:57 porn selection is ladyboys. So you want a Thailand to get a pussy? I don't want one. I just want to experience. I want to push it to the limit. Yeah. Yeah. He likes.
Starting point is 00:06:08 So we watched the document. He made me watch a thing on YouTube. It was really to convince himself because I already was like, OK, because he he he jerks off to a lot of porn with, you know, with chicks with dicks. Yeah. And he watched this thing. He tried to, like, prove to me, like through neuroscience, that actually this neuroscience was saying that it's a very straight man thing to do to want to watch porn with guys even if you
Starting point is 00:06:28 know they're getting a blowjob from a girl the guy has to have a big dick and we like big tits and that's why we like a she-man i have both so yeah yeah so so so yeah so so we try to figure out a lot of sexual stuff on this podcast and we talk about history a lot i think trans points a little fucked up too because a lot of those stuff on this podcast. And we talk about history a lot. I think trans points is a little fucked up, too, because a lot of those women, they want to actually get gender reassignment surgery. They're not comfortable with the penises. So it's more of a fetish. It's what they can afford at this point.
Starting point is 00:06:53 So actually, the porn industry is using those kind of, because that's what the neuroscience is saying. It's like, when you see a hard dick, right? You know, it's like. Drop to your knees. Yeah. Think about it. With the porn you watch, you don't want to see a small dick. No. You want to see a big, hard dick, right? You know, it's like... Drop to your knees. Yeah, think about it. The porn you watch, you don't want to see a small dick.
Starting point is 00:07:06 You want to see a big, hard dick. I don't even like looking at my own dick when it's soft. It takes all these signs and it mixes them in your brain. Right. Well, good thing my gut covers my dick so I can't see it even if I do look down. No, no, no. Do you think you put on weight? Because the picture that you posted
Starting point is 00:07:21 when you were in that leotard, you look great. I had that cool sculpting done, so that actually works. My baby mama's doing that illegally, so I'm sure I'm going to have to deal with it. She's giving the procedures or she's getting it done? No, she's giving it. So there's going to be a thing where I'm just going to be visits in prison
Starting point is 00:07:38 with my child and it's just what it is. He's got a situation with the mother. So what is that? Because she's been into it. he's got a situation with the mother situation with the mother. So what, so what is that? So can you, cause she's been into it. She's got a lot of clients. It's basically just like, it's like a suction. Oh, there it is.
Starting point is 00:07:51 It's behind me. That's not me though. Yeah. No, Joey's got an actual video of you, right? Yeah. I have videos of me doing it. So basically if it's like a suction thing and they put it anywhere, you can fit the little thing.
Starting point is 00:08:00 There's like little grids when you show up and there's, they're all hanging on the wall. So they come to your body to figure out what, what you know how much fat they can suck off with this different machine okay and they put it up to you and then it kind of sucks it like almost like again a hickey right and then and then it sucks it in there and then um it starts freezing then you know when you have like your hand in the cooler too much trying to get the cores light from the bottom of the thing and your hand starts burning yes that's what it kind of feels like and then after that it kind of um it just melts the fat off yeah it just freezes off and then you're numb until if we could go to this
Starting point is 00:08:28 picture too with his bell-bottom jeans one and two see that's the leotard and then these are the two right so the bell-bottom jeans ones that was from 10-15 years ago yeah it's just like Giannis and I we said this to each other and we said like he knew like it's a no doubt about it like there's no like I had a dick in my ass
Starting point is 00:08:43 hours before that photo was taken and it's beautiful yeah doubt about it like there's no like i had a dick in my ass hours before that photo was taken yeah and it's beautiful yeah i look i look like a lesbian there yeah um but yeah that was in miami we were staying at the delano hotel and i was with a straight a straight uh pronounced guy he was like you know out of not in the closet he was a marine okay and his father was a minister of the church in my parents town and he was fucking in the ass yes on his trip so we were a secret boyfriend and he was like in the ass. Yes, on his trip. So we were a secret boyfriend and he was like in the Marines and he had like a fake girlfriend and stuff. And we took him to Miami with money
Starting point is 00:09:09 because he was in the shady shit. So he used to steal checkbooks from people and write fake checks and then check them to cash, check cashing places. So when we got there, we weren't able to check into the hotel room because his credit card was marked for fraud.
Starting point is 00:09:22 So you had to do it. I was well taken care of. Joey, you look jacked. You look like a jacked dude. Thank you. You're fucking in shape and you had to do it. I was well taken care of. Joey, you look jacked. You look great. You look like a jacked, like, thank you. You're fucking in shape and you got a great bod.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Can we post this on History Hainan? It's slim thick. I think it's called slim thick. So hot, girl. But it's a great bod. You got great definition, great calves.
Starting point is 00:09:37 That was, I've had that bathing suit for years. There's not a lot of guys who could look good in that bathing suit right now. No, I would've looked good in that.
Starting point is 00:09:43 My left hip would be popping out even though I've gotten in shape yeah you just you don't have the definition look at those fucking calves joey's good i want to sit joey's lap touch his back his back is diesel i touch when i touch his back he's got a muscular back yeah yeah yeah i'm a you're a strong animal would i be in the hyena world in a hyena well you'd be well i guess a bear but no you know that oh he'd be a be a queen. He's a high-ranking female member. Oh, you mean if he was a hyena? Oh, no, you'd be a queen. You'd be a queen.
Starting point is 00:10:09 So the hyena clans, it's a matriarchy driven society. So the females are the top, you know, like how, you know, in other animals, you know, male lion would lead the pack. Hyenas, it's females. So you'd be the top. You'd be queen. You'd be queen of the pack. You'd be up at the top. You'd be a high-rank, yeah. You'd be a high-ranking member, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:25 I'm honored. Is there anything you like about history? Is there anything in history that excites you? No, I don't know. I guess like scandalous history, if there was like, you know, like celeb gossip back then, that would be like something I'd be interested in. Yeah, like, oh, you would probably like this little tidbit. Queen Elizabeth, the Queen
Starting point is 00:10:41 Elizabeth I from 1500s from England, there was rumor to believe because she never married black lesbian girlfriend that and they yeah
Starting point is 00:10:51 and they thought they thought that she was a man they thought that there was actually a man dressing in drag to be queen not they transgendered no but they thought
Starting point is 00:10:59 but she said I'm married to England that's why I don't need a husband but it's really because they're like she's a lesbo oh and or like Caitlin we should get Caitlin in here I would love to are you kidding me i would love to know
Starting point is 00:11:10 she charges 25 uh two thousand five hundred dollars on cameo do you know cameo is that yeah so she just charges the most uh that she can she only had to like three of them yeah of course who's gonna pay for that no fucking yeah two thousand five hundred for my birthday and the whole one snooki wouldn't buy it for me yeah I'm paying him that bitch money I was doing it for 25 bucks and then I just felt like I'm I just felt cheap doing I do it for 50 and you yeah yeah you find get it you know I just felt cheap and I raised mine price now too and now I just don't care anymore would you do a topless cameo fast I would do it now um not just yet he's asking for a friend I I go bottomless. I have a DSP. You know what would be an interesting topic for us to cover
Starting point is 00:11:48 though is like the historical figures that were like gay hiding it. Well, Michelangelo. We talked about Michelangelo. He hit it. He was a queen. Yeah. People say Abraham Lincoln. Genius. People say Abraham Lincoln was gay. But he also had
Starting point is 00:12:04 sex with black women, too. Yes. What is that? Do you think that goes hand in hand? Everyone says that he was hooking up with all the slaves. Do you think gay men and hooking up black women is the same thing? No, I think gay men and black women act the same, though.
Starting point is 00:12:20 That's true. That's where all the gays get it from. It's from black women. Yeah. They actually, the black trans women, they actually fought for the stone with you know stonewall when they were throwing bricks and shit it was um i don't know her name but it was like a black transgender woman that was like yeah leading the way she was the harriet chubbner of the gay world i'm blanking on her name too but we know who it is we talked about we're gonna do an episode on her i forgot what it is marsha pete hansen yes yes i think that's what it is that's the one yeah we're gonna get there going to be riots outside.
Starting point is 00:12:46 We're in Greenwich Village now. We don't know what can happen. I know. Well, the Stonewall. It's high alert right now during Gay Pride Month. Elvis Duran from the Zee Morning Zoo is going to be hosting some event at the Stonewall Inn, I believe, this weekend. He's a homo.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I'm going to be in London. Oh, yeah. Big, big time. Yeah. He's got himself a nice little young boyfriend. Oh, does he? He's like 19 years old. Oh, beautiful.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Have you ever done a show? I would know. I've been there. I never was. They didn't let me talk on the microphone. You'd be perfect on that show. Yeah, I tried to go on when I had my live podcast show and he said no. How was that show, by the way?
Starting point is 00:13:11 It was good. It was Count Basie Theater. Count Basie Theater. We just we want to do more. Nicole's having just had a kid, so we got to wait till her stitches clear up and then we can go back on the road and start drinking. Is this her third kid or second kid? Third kid.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Third kid. We'll get her. She's just shitting them out. Yeah, she wants another one. Good for her. I like her. Snooki and Titting them out. She wants another one. Good for her. Snooki and Tiki Barber are next door neighbors. I did a show with Tiki and he was just saying how wonderful she was.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Oh yeah, she's great. So his wife's always coming over to hang up the kids and stuff. Like actual neighbors. Next door neighbors. Wow, that's fucking beautiful. And you guys had a cooking show. You had a cooking show for a second. Yeah. Yes, we did. And what happened to that? We didn't get renewed. It was on MTV's digital. I'm digital talent.
Starting point is 00:13:47 They don't let me on the big screen just yet. Well, you know, digital talent is the real screen now. I know. Netflix is snatching awards and all those things. It's all Netflix. It's all digital. Yeah, we had one called Cooking in the Crib with Snooki and Joey. We just got bombed.
Starting point is 00:13:56 We literally drank four bottles of wine each section and got fucking robbed. And that's how you guys became friends at the beginning. Yeah, we got fucked up. You were her style. You were her makeup artist. Yeah, and we got drunk the first day we met on set. And you guys are like BFF now. Hardcore. Yeah the beginning. Yeah. You were her style. You were her makeup artist. Yeah. And we got drunk the first day we met on set. And you guys are like BFF now. Hardcore.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yeah. Hardcore. Yeah. Do you have a boyfriend right now? No, I don't do that. You just. No, since last time we spoke. Pump the dump.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Yeah. It was last time we spoke. I got cheated on in 2012. What? I actually had a nightmare about him the other day. Oh, my God. Yeah. What was the nightmare?
Starting point is 00:14:21 What was the nightmare? The nightmare was that we were just like hanging out, but he like had another boyfriend and like we were just like just casually hanging out. Yeah. What was the nightmare? What was the nightmare? The nightmare was that we were just like hanging out, but he like had another boyfriend and like, we were just like, just casually hanging out. Yeah. Because, because you, you're very honest. You told me last time, last time we were on your podcast, you said that your fantasy would be for me, for me, you said about me, I'm, I assume it's similar. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Still. No, me. He wants a relationship with me. He wants a relationship with you. But you, you said you want me to like be in my house with like no shirt on and you want me to like bitch you around and hit you and make you cook for me yeah and you sit in the recliner and just work orders yeah just park orders that's what you were fine without having you were not allowed to have a cell phone or ever leave the house that you were fine with that yeah yeah i'm
Starting point is 00:14:56 not definitely that's in that condition and that's a relationship with the situation yeah i wasn't allowed to lock the door when i was with the with the when i was with the mother yeah i wasn't allowed to lock the door because of my bathroom yeah because i went in there and the door was like if i was taking a shower yes was not allowed the door cannot be locked because i was facetiming fucking girls and whatever i was doing she and if you were still together he should have your location on right now 100 at all times she probably still has it on some yeah she probably has a bug in that kid of yours yeah i bet you i bet you um but also that's so so you're open but the thing is in the gay community, like you got cheated on.
Starting point is 00:15:25 It's like you have to, that your life is at risk. Yeah. Truly. Yeah. I can get, I can get a disease and die. Because Nazi scientists released the gay diseases,
Starting point is 00:15:33 the diseases into the gays. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. And also gay, gay men are men still. So they bang a lot. They bang a lot.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Because we're guys. You're still guys. So you bang a lot. I haven't had sex with a woman in a month. And it feels good. It's a little freeing. But three guys. The three guys. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, exactly. bang a lot. I haven't had sex with a woman in a month, and it feels good. It's a little freeing. But three guys. The three guys. Yeah, exactly. I'm not saying I haven't had sex. I've had sex specifically with a woman.
Starting point is 00:15:50 But the women. You spun the wheel a few times. That's what we talk about. We spin the wheel now. The thing is, you know, just trying to be open. I'll go on Pornhub.com, and I'll just kind of, I'll just close my eyes, and I'll just go like this. With the phone, I'll just flip it up, and then just whatever it lands on, that's what I jerk off to.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And sometimes it's men on men. Sometimes it's women. Sometimes it's midgets. And you just make yourself just do it. Yeah. Sometimes it's anime. So when Mike gets 20, he loves anime, this kid. Oh, do you?
Starting point is 00:16:13 Mike, yeah. I've watched that before. No, I've watched the cartoon ones. There's like, you know, different cartoon ones where Simpsons like riding a cop with like big bouncing boobs. Yeah. You know, I was just going to say, you know how he's like, I got to look that one up. It would be,
Starting point is 00:16:26 I always like fantasize about what it would be like to just imagine just being able to just be around women and be friends with women and not be distracted by like women.
Starting point is 00:16:35 What do you mean? And then like, cause I feel like guys are like guys are the, like straight men always become like killers and shit like that because we're so,
Starting point is 00:16:42 we're so suppressed like sexually. We have this male sex drive but we can't like get it out the way gay men gay men can just get it out. Gay men can get it out but that's why eunuchs, that's why the eunuchs are so important. You know, cut their balls off you can castrate people. You gotta like take women on
Starting point is 00:16:56 you gotta like, you know, you gotta do all this stuff you gotta be like, guys are like, you wanna hook up? Let's do it. Thomas Dale, Thomas Dale told us They don't even need a bed, they just do it wherever the hell they are Thomas Dale, we were in Montreal two, three years ago. And I'm not divulging information. He's talked about this. He we were in Montreal.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Is he a homo? He's a big homo out in L.A. From from he's similar to you. Long Island. But a New York guy like I've seen him like punch people in the face. His dad's a detective. And what does he have a boyfriend? No, he's single.
Starting point is 00:17:21 But right now he said on his Instagram that he's he's he's going he's getting his life together. He's going through rehab and he's like he's done. Oh, he's not going to drink anymore. No, he doesn't. But right now he said on his Instagram that he's going, he's getting his life together. He's going through rehab and he's like, he's done. Oh, he's not going to drink anymore? No, he doesn't want to drink or do pills. I can't do that. So there's a lady. Sorry. I was right.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Marsha, be honest. Okay, good. So he was, we were in Montreal sitting outside having a nice, beautiful night. And then he goes, let me, I'll be right back. And then he comes back 20 minutes later and a man comes out first. And we were like, what the fuck was that? And he says, oh, this guy in Grindr hit me up. He told me to go up into my hotel room.
Starting point is 00:17:50 What number it was. So he gave him the hotel room number, left the door unlocked, you know, and the guy just came in. Thomas was there. No pants on jerking off. The guy came over, sucked him off. And that was it. That's what that's what specifically it was. And he said he doesn't even know his name, doesn't know anything about him, just came over, blew him.
Starting point is 00:18:06 And I said, so that guy, he said, Thomas said, 95% chance, 95% chance you were there. He said that was probably a straight man with a wife and children that just said, honey, I'm just going to go out and get milk. But he sucked Thomas Dale's dick in the hotel. Now, if I left you at a cafe in Montreal,
Starting point is 00:18:22 I would leave for poutine fries. And then I was lying and saying I hooked up with a guy, but I was really eating cheese fries. But so this is very common. It's very easy. Like, if you want to have sex right now, you can press a button and have sex with a man right now. Yeah, I have the app. I can go on there and look at it. But yeah, you can.
Starting point is 00:18:39 But it's like, you know, who knows what people have? And I get very uncomfortable. I don't even want to have a small talk when I'm'm drunk, like let alone go sober to someone's house. Right. Exposing my body and my genitals. Because that's what the thing is. That's what the thing is. Even like, you know, why I just took a break from women.
Starting point is 00:18:50 It takes so much energy, like going on dates with them and do that. And like, I don't want I would never like try to I would never mistreat anyone. So it's like I fucking have to do this. And I just it was exhausting. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to do it. And that's polite. Let me ask you a question.
Starting point is 00:19:03 I'm curious because Thomas Dale said that that guy is 100% straight. Can I see Thomas Dale's picture on the big screen? I think he's an handsome kid, Thomas Dale. But is that guy straight? I mean, if he's got a wife
Starting point is 00:19:13 and kids and he's sneaking off and doing that, is he straight? Well, he's straight because he's in love with women, but he wants men sexually because it's something bad. The straight men like it
Starting point is 00:19:20 because it's something that they shouldn't be doing. Men like doing bad things. They shouldn't be drinking brown liquor and having cigarettes. They shouldn't be driving fast. They shouldn't be doing this like doing bad things they shouldn't be drinking brown liquors and having cigarettes they shouldn't be driving fast right they shouldn't be doing this so when you have a sexual woman you can do the filthiest shit to her and have like having a shit on your face and stuff but at some point it's because i'm too like you know this isn't bad i'm still like i'm supposed to be with a woman supposed
Starting point is 00:19:37 to you have to do something you know you're not supposed to do it's like bad like that's why men have become molesters and that's why men like fuck animals and shit because it's like something bad that they're not supposed to be doing. They don't want to marry a kid and have fun, but it's something so filthy that they can get off on it. So they like doing the gay thing because they're doing something bad, but they can still...
Starting point is 00:19:55 So you think a woman's brain isn't really kind of set up that way? No, there's tons of teachers that sleep with 13-year-olds. Oh, that's true, too. That's a big thing. Not as much as men. This is Thomas. What do you think? Yes? No? Yeah, no, he's cute. He has sleep with 13-year-olds. Oh, that's true, too. That's true. That's a big thing. Not as much as men. This is Thomas. What do you think? Yes?
Starting point is 00:20:06 No? Yeah, no, he's cute. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a gay voice, though, too. He has a very gay voice. Should we call him? You want to call him?
Starting point is 00:20:12 Thomas? Thomas Zillow. Let's see what's going on. Well, I don't know if Thomas, but he may get upset because you know how it is. Like, he doesn't like if we're talking to other gays, he doesn't like that. Yeah, because he's very protective. Yeah. And then he would feel like, I don't want to do this gay shit. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:25 And he would also go, this is infringing on my brand. Yeah, on his brand. He has a brand? He has a brand. He's Thomas Dale. He's the best. I like that Frank... Liotti? Frank Liotti, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, he's hot. He'd be... I think he'd be interested to hear that. I know him. We've met each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not interested in me sexually.
Starting point is 00:20:42 He's a very good friend of mine, Frank Liotti. I know. He's funny. I love Frank. How do you know he's not into you? I don't know, because we just know each other socially for so long. And he's never tried to have sex with me. Yeah, but he's in a relationship. Oh, is he? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:54 That's probably why. For a long time, yeah. That's probably it. Yeah, he's been in one for what, like 12 years? 12, longer than that. 15 years, yeah. Long-term male relationship. No, but I'll tell him that it'll make him feel really good.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah. Chris has good friends with him. Very close friends with him. close friends now he looks more like he's darker than me i think i'm more joey's type than you are chris who well well you said you want to go in a relationship with you i would go but i couldn't go to my ship with you because i'd be afraid i did uh everyone be hitting on you and they cheat on me so i go with like the less you know less hot of the hot one you know we say you honest all the time he's almost handsome yeah yeah no i love i told you i loved you when you did that video. That's how I found out about you.
Starting point is 00:21:27 When you were doing that, pretending to have coke on the couch. Do you got some? Do you got some? Oh, you got some, yeah. That's right. I saw you as Maurice there. But then, after I saw those videos, I was like, oh my god, he's so hot. So I started watching you wearing basketball shorts. I was trying to see your dick. I remember that very vividly.
Starting point is 00:21:43 I didn't know who Chrissy Precums was until much later yes much yeah yeah I'm more than you found out who I am yeah it's just like it's just like great energy you know we were talking about we were talking about the other day about how like how like we love the gay
Starting point is 00:21:59 community because it's like not only first of all you guys come into a neighborhood and the neighborhood is just fucking beautiful. Immediately, the neighborhood is beautiful. The streets are clean. You can get a quinoa bowl, throw a dart. 100%. And then all the brick streets, it's all nice and clean and proper. First one
Starting point is 00:22:16 in gentrification is always lesbians. They're the Marines. Yes, those are the ones who build it out for us and then we come in and decorate. They knock the brick walls down, lay the pipes and all that shit. And then we're like, okay, girl, I think it's, you know, what kind of game are we going for here? It's a great way to
Starting point is 00:22:31 build a house. The lesbians build a house and the gay, the men decorate it. They do all the negotiating with the contractors and getting the property. You know, what's funny is he was searching on me for me and basketball shirt and stuff the way that guys search like women's Instagram for like that vacation shot.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I'm always looking for the vacation shot. I'm looking for the vacation shot too. Especially like on Facebook with all like the straight hot dads. I'm like going through I know there has to be a picture of them in the pool. Yeah. Trying to see them nips. Get a little sneak peek. Yeah. Hold on. Wait. I think I got. I'm not in good shape yet. Do you have a topless field? I've never seen you topless.
Starting point is 00:23:04 I think. Yeah. There's no photos out there. I've checked.'m not in good shape yet. Do you have a topless feeler? I've never seen you topless. I think, yeah. There's no photos out there. I've checked. I know. We should put it on the Patreon, you topless. Yeah, that'll drive some business. Do I have anything? You can just take your shirt off now. How hot is Chris? Scale of 1 to 10. Oh, I mean, on my thing, I think he's a 12. He's fucking hot, right?
Starting point is 00:23:19 I appreciate that. Beefy blonde. Women don't even, like... You know what it is with Chris? It's like they don't even like want to get to know him. They want, they treat him like a male thot. You know, they don't care if he calls. They want to fuck you. You see it, right? Like they just want to fuck you. Yeah. Are those
Starting point is 00:23:36 fake teeth? No, fake teeth. Real teeth. Okay. No braces. Get a girl. This is me right now. So it's not great, but it's getting there. Oh my god, my dreams are coming true. What are you talking? You don't have a bad body. You got that little V under there. Yeah, it's coming.
Starting point is 00:23:49 It's not great yet, but it's coming. Oh, I love it. You got weak shoulders, though. I know. I know. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see those fucking weak shoulders.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Well, because I'm not. I'm not. It's just boxing. It's coming. It's not great. It's coming together. At least your boobs are square. Mine are like cone shapes.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah. But look at that little bulge right there. What is that thing you go... Oh, that's... Cardi B stole it from me. So what do you think about that little piece right there? I love it. What's the softie? Because we both got normal sized pieces. Our dads have tiny pieces.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Did you ever cross streams? No. I wouldn't care. I would cross streams. You never peed together? No. Like on the side of the road? I've only seen, I've never seen your piece. Well, I've seen your piece because you sent it to me in videos. Have you ever seen, have you seen a video of it?
Starting point is 00:24:34 I've seen videos of it, yeah. Yeah, I'm not keen. He likes to, he's like, he likes to do naughty stuff. He's going to end, he's going to end up in a guy's room. I've also been sent that picture. Yeah, he sends his piece around. Yeah, hold on, hold on. I'll show Joey.
Starting point is 00:24:43 I don't fucking mind. Oh, get a girl. Joey's a fucking great friend. Oh, wait, this is great. You're going to show him your piece? Yeah, he sends his piece around. Yeah, hold on. I'll show Joey. I don't fucking mind. Oh, get a girl. Joey's a fucking great friend. Oh, wait, this is great. You're going to show him your piece? Yeah, he's a friend of the pod. Look how fucking happy he is right now. I got more than I bargained for.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Here we go. That's not real. That's not real. There we go. Oh, I thought you were going to send the real thing. Show him the real thing. What is it? Let me see.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I want to see it nude. Oh, my nude dick? Yeah, come on. Because this is good content. Wait, I can't. Show cameras here? Yeah. Yeah, but we can't show that. No, I'm dick? Yeah, come on. Because this is good content. Wait, am I a character? Is your camera here? Yeah. No, I'm not going to show the camera. No, don't show the camera.
Starting point is 00:25:10 I'm in trouble for that. I love it. Thank you. It's nice, right? Yes. Thank you. Very nice. Chris just showed him a real pic. Oh my god. Because you got a pretty nice piece. Thank you. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Very clean looking. It's all one tone. It's not like no off color. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I'd ride that like a huffy. And I don't bottom roll because it hurts, but I don't care with that. Yeah. I mean, I got an average piece, but I do have... You have a full bushel.
Starting point is 00:25:43 I have a good look at people. He's married now. He can't show his penis anymore, unfortunately. But I got it. My, but I do have... You have a full bush. I have a good looking penis. He's married now. He can't show his penis anymore, unfortunately. But I got it. My wife actually told me it's like a perfect piece. Oh, good. Yeah. It's perfect size. And it's very handsome.
Starting point is 00:25:54 It's handsome. It's handsome. No curvature. It's just nice and just perfect. Gets the job done. Frankly, it looks like his bush smells. Right. Well, maybe...
Starting point is 00:26:01 Well, because he's Mediterranean. He looks fumes. smells. Right. Well, maybe because he's Mediterranean. We say that people around the Mediterranean countries, Greece, Italy, Turkey... We sweat more, so we've got more fumes. So there's more fumes. I'm more German that I don't have fumes. If you have blonde hair and light eyes, you probably don't have fumes.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Is that true? I don't know. I would think that dark hair would smell more intense. Why is that? It just seems like it, right? It just seems because it's dark. You really can't see what's going on in there. It's a forest. Yeah. Where blondes, you still see skin through it. Yeah. So it's a little bit fresher. A little bit fresher. Now, how big a dick
Starting point is 00:26:34 can you take? Oh, not big. Too big even for you. I haven't had anything like that in a long time. You're not a size queen. No. I don't really get fucked in the butt. I'm more of a top if I do it, but I call myself a blouse because I'm a feminine top. Oh, OK. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:48 It's like somewhere of a blouse. I'm not, you know, you know what you're getting into when you come with me. Right. Yeah. I just I don't even like wiping. It's like I want nothing to go on down there. But I think I would say probably like not big, like probably your size to play the biggest I could take.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Right. Right. Which is I'm about I think I'm seven. Yeah. I would guess. Yeah. I love it. That's a pretty good piece, actually. Pretty good piece. Yeah. Yeah. Does it touch
Starting point is 00:27:08 your belly button? I'm six. Yes. I'm not seven, I'm six. Yeah. No, that picture was, it was above my belly button. It was at my belly button. Oh. Yeah. Who'd you send that to? A lot of people. Who knows? There's people that have that. That's in rotation. Yeah. People have that. How much can we get for it if we leaked it?
Starting point is 00:27:24 For me? You can get a nice steak dinner or no? You don't even need to leak it. There's so many people that have that. That have it. Yeah for it if we leaked it? For me? You don't even need to leak it. There's so many people that have that. I know, that's the thing. A girl was threatening me once a few months ago. I'm not that rich. You're going to get far. I was like, do it. This is what it is.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Chrissy's kind of like Donald Trump in the sense that you know how Donald Trump says so many wild things. Yeah. You can't pin one down. Right. And get him in trouble one because he says so many things. Yeah, probably he did it.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Yeah. Chrissy does so many wild things. Right. Like if someone's like, I got a picture, the whole world's going to be like, yeah, we all got one. We all got one. Wake up. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:58 So nothing's bad. Well, you said you described me, I think, very well yesterday because it is true. You said my heart gets there too early and my brain gets there too late his heart gets too early his brain gets there too late so i said yeah his his heart shows up too early to the party and his brain is just too late the damage is already it's already been done yeah the damage has been done your brain shows up like what can i do to fix this and you're like you can't do anything you're late i want joey i want you to have a more active role or i want you to start a role in my daughter's life. My daughter would love you. She seems like a real bitch.
Starting point is 00:28:28 She's a huge bitch. She's got a chip on her shoulder. Yeah, she's tall. She literally, I mean, the trouble it's like things. Delilah. Like things naturally happen to me that like she'll tell her and I can't I look like the biggest dick. That's how she reacts when you're talking or asking her questions. She's really
Starting point is 00:28:43 not nasty to you. I was on a Faceetime call yesterday a work call with this woman from mountain dew her name is diane and i was and she's a young pretty girl and we're talking business so delilah was with me my daughter was with me so that's how it happened it happened at one o'clock in the afternoon i'm like baby daddy's on this facetime call and then she puts her phone in and she goes who are you i said four years old she goes who are you she goes oh my name's diane i work with daddy and she was like okay and then like looked at her and then delilah gave me a kiss on the cheek i swear she gives me a kiss on the cheek off camera looks at me and goes where's my piggy and i gave her the piggy and then it happened 1 p.m i dropped her
Starting point is 00:29:16 off at uh 8 a.m this morning i dropped my daughter off i put my daughter in the house two feet on the floor in baby mama's house. Like I'm talking about as soon as her fucking little fucking baby heels hit the floor. Her mom goes, how was your night with daddy? And she goes, it was good. Who's daddy's friend, Diane, that he was on FaceTime with? Like first
Starting point is 00:29:37 and then my kid's mom is like, I don't know. Who is your friend? And then I was like, no, it was a work call with Mountain Dew. She's like, really? She's like, don't have bitches around my daughter. And I was like, no, no, no, there's no bitch. I was like, it's a FaceTime call. She goes, how do you pay attention to my daughter? And I was like, no, it's a call.
Starting point is 00:29:53 And then Delilah was like, I love you, daddy, and gave me a kiss on the nose. And then I just fucking walk out and everybody hates me. Good thing you're not fooling around on the side because she would rat you right out. Are you kidding me? Absolutely. The wife probably teaches her. Yeah, yeah. One time a friend? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, she probably, the wife probably teaches her. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:06 One time, a friend, a friend who's a girl, came over and she had to use the bathroom and we were all in the house. It was great. And then she went out in Bay Ridge, but Delilah wanted a bath and she had this friend who was a girl bathe her and it was fine. They were all having a great time. And she told her mother that too. She's like, who's daddy's friend who gave me a bath last night?
Starting point is 00:30:22 And then, you know. Why are you naked around my daughter? Yeah was like whatever you know but so yeah she's got that little puerican attitude but that's in there yes but to be honest i love it all her teachers and all that they're like she's you know they're like she's the best like the like we have a handful we have to corral the attitude a little bit like there's a discipline that needs to come in but her spirit is awesome yeah she'll flip a teacher off. Yeah, but that's why I wanted her in your life. I mean, the picture, I'll show her that picture. She'll be like, oh, she'll want it. She'll want to put that shit on. Oh, good. And how was your baby mom? Does she have any
Starting point is 00:30:52 gay friends that were around? She's got a couple of gay friends, and now she actually has a boyfriend, which has been great. It's been great because all her... Like Big Daddy's house. Absolutely. That movie with Mark Wahlberg. It's called Sunset Park. It's called the Sunset Park situation. It's called the situation with the Sunset Park family. But it's been great for me.
Starting point is 00:31:06 The situation with the mother. The situation with the mother is what I have. But it's been great for me because now, baby mama, all that drama and energy that was directed at me, she's happy with this guy. So I fucking told her, I told her, do not ruin it with your new boyfriend. Did you warn him that you're in for it? No, I'm not going to warn him. I mean, if he...
Starting point is 00:31:22 He'll find out sooner or later. Well, me and her ex, you know, she has a son from a previous relationship. Me and that kid's dad, we talk all the time. I just want to jump in. Is this cool? What do you mean? We can talk about this? Yeah. I'm not mentioning anybody's name or anything.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Well, no, you know, yeah. He's got a situation with the mother. That's a podcast. We could talk about our life. Yeah, okay. I just want to make sure. Because's a podcast. We could talk about our life. Yeah. Okay. I just want to make sure. Sometimes she tunes in and lets you know about it. But I'm not mentioning names or anything like that. Does she tune in?
Starting point is 00:31:52 She did once in a while. We get sniped in. Yeah, we get sniped in. We get sniped in and then some things happen. We call this a podcast on the run. This podcast is here for a good time and not a long time. I talk a lot about my family. I talk about a lot of personal things. We truly live up to the name History High Enos.
Starting point is 00:32:08 We've got to come back on your podcast. We'd love to. You do it on the Upper East Side now? No, I do. I live on the Upper East Side. Girl. We do it. Mina Colt's doing it on the phone now because she never wants to come into the city anymore to do it in the studio. So we can do it on the phone so we record it that way. We have our studio on
Starting point is 00:32:23 34th Street. That's where we came to yeah yeah yeah um she wasn't yeah she wasn't she was out filming jersey shore then and now she's back is it still going on the jersey shore yeah they're still filming it yeah how about vinnie guadagnino he looks like a hot piece i know he's stripping yeah he did a straight he did a strip tease in vegas well he had a residency now he's back for the for july he looks fantastic he's keto guido but now is that is he too the keto guido yeah is he too like like you know what i mean like like not manly enough no he's a little femme he's a little yeah he asked me for fashion advice all the time but like what's what do you like this better this better what i'm saying i'm saying like like like like i'm more i'm because i'm 220 i'm more of a guy you I have weak shoulders, but which hurt a little bit coming, because I
Starting point is 00:33:07 want to be sexually attractive to you. No, you are. Okay, great. Unbelievably, yeah. Thank you. I prefer this way, because I don't want people looking at you. I like a bigger body. I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:33:15 You get too hot, then you get confident and cocky, and then I have to get out of here. Yeah. I think it's pretty clear that he wants you all to himself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because Giannis- He would put aside the great laws in his country and take you physically.
Starting point is 00:33:26 If we did have to like, oh, man up and you did have to piss in my ass, do you think you can get, can you piss with an erection? But I have to hold the hole open with a funnel and then you would piss in the funnel. He wants to crack you open and clean you out. I could piss in your
Starting point is 00:33:42 ass with an erection. I mean, I piss with a morning wood, so absolutely. Absolutely, I could. As a achievable dream, I'm not getting far-fetched. We've talked about it on this podcast. I fall in love with men, but I have sex with women. But we'll see. My father's still alive. Run this by him.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Here's the thing. I can have a really great... We're having a great conversation right now. I'm getting a little horny. Okay. And it's just one of those things where it's like I, we start to have like intellectual,
Starting point is 00:34:10 really. Truly you're feeling feelings. No, I was kidding. Not right now, because we're just all friends, but like. Looking at all the texts, imagine like,
Starting point is 00:34:16 would you really have feelings for me? Like intellectually stimulating conversation, like when we're learning stuff and when it's a man or if I'm listening to somebody speak, like, you know, like a great. And do you feel like there's like no pressure because i'm not a woman so you don't have to impress me you're just being yourself no i well i think yeah i think the guard
Starting point is 00:34:30 gets down that way i think that's what starts to happen guards start to come down and then but but but at no point but at no point am i ever like physically attracted to the man yeah it makes me horny and want to text a girl and then i have sex with the girl but the guy's conversation has gotten me horny okay so we don't understand where i would um would you rather he says he loves men and he he falls in love with men and he wants to have sex with women what he's basically trying to say is he's he's an irish kid and he's pushed it down but he's a gay kid yeah yeah so if we have the option would you rather um have me strap on a um a fleshlight to my asshole so it's like a fake
Starting point is 00:35:05 pussy and i wear like i may dress it up nice with like a pair of panties and i pull them to the side okay just see or just slamming the ass so you're asking you're asking do i want my my actual dick to come in direct contact with your ass or the fleshlight inside your ass well the flesh is just like in between my legs and it's like i'm bent over the couch i could i could i could see you're the asshole the real thing or the fake? I would do the fake pussy. I would do the fake because I've never even had sex with a girl in the ass.
Starting point is 00:35:27 I just, there's something about like Catholic Italians, we don't deal with the ass. But that's something we can even do maybe just for a skit or just, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:33 on a Tuesday. Yeah, sure. Anxiety Tuesday. Yeah. I would, yeah, no, I could, I could,
Starting point is 00:35:39 I could find myself doing that. Absolutely. I have to figure out the mechanics and how the logistics of it all, but yeah, I'll have something set up. Yeah. So this is going to be Lee Harvey Spencer Jr.'s friend's least favorite episode.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Oh, yeah. We have a black dentist in South Carolina who's a big fan of ours. He's like, yo, man, I tried to tell my friends about your podcast. Chrissy's talking about blowing people. Yes. Black guys can be a little homophobic. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Yeah. It's brutes. And a lot of them end up being down low brothers. Yeah. T.L. Brothers. T.L. Brothers are low. Yeah. Thomas Dale was telling us a story, again, very open about it, about how he was standing
Starting point is 00:36:16 on this corner of Santa Monica Boulevard at like three o'clock in the morning last year with women's panties on trying to get men to pull over so he could hook up with them. And then people were pissing on him. loved it was like a whole thing he was really prostituting himself yeah yeah but but he was open about it i think so yeah yeah yeah wow but it's just as a man wearing the ladies panties yeah i think so yeah yeah on the side of a highway right yep you have a highway yeah so but now he's better now yeah would you would you consider well i want to just do like cars
Starting point is 00:36:45 like I'd rather see their picture on the line for that I would just like do it online because I felt like it was a little dangerous like what if you get like a straight guy who like had like a last adjustment
Starting point is 00:36:52 then he comes and it's like he fucking kills you or just comes and kills you straight away without even sex first right right right because he wants to yeah that's what
Starting point is 00:36:58 so is Chrissy a gay kid or is it just he needs to no he said I'm not gay or does he need to just start seeing women as people yeah not objects. It sounds like you're looking...
Starting point is 00:37:07 I'm looking for a wife for the first point in my life. Not a wife, but I would prefer for the first time in my life, 34, to actually be in a relationship over having sex with multiple women. Do you have enough sex? Yes. Okay. I've had enough, is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:37:23 I don't... It's not... You have no idea. The kid cleans up. Yeah, what I'm saying. Like I don't, it's not. Yeah. You have no idea. The kid cleans up. Yeah, it's been too much. Where do you meet girls? After your comedy shows, do they come up to you? They come to him. Social media. They come to him. Yeah. They throw themselves at him. Do they wait for you around after the show? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:39 They hit up his DMs and like they throw it at him. They unsolicited like nudes. Girls love aited like like I would choose. Yeah. Girls love a funny guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:48 So I. So but I'd rather have a girlfriend is what I'm saying. I heard it here first. Yes. Yeah. So I, you know, I. What's your sign? Virgo.
Starting point is 00:37:56 That's what I knew. That's our best friends. Yeah. Virgo. Yes. That's very good. August 25th, August 26th. We're all earth signs.
Starting point is 00:38:02 We have to hang out with Tauruses, Virgos and Capricorns. We all stay together. I need to know what a Capricorn. Oh, OK. Wericorns we all stay together i need to know capricorn oh okay we get along perfect joey i need to know what happened to your eye oh i told him a specific story he didn't say it's specific so i was at the doctor's office and i said i started with botox in my forehead which was very you know you know normal i'm like facetiming it and stuff i'm like showing everyone and then i said i want to do something else for the puffiness around my eyes so he said let's do and then he like poked me with the needle and I jumped a little bit.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Right. I think he hit a vein. Oh, OK. But now I have this big dark eye and I look like I'm a cockeyed. So. But it's hot. But I mean, imagine. I was wearing concealer all day, but I thought it'd be funny if I didn't cover it.
Starting point is 00:38:35 No, I think it's a hot thing, you know? And if I wasn't talking, you know, when I open my mouth, you know, dildos fly out. So if I didn't have my mouth shut, you couldn't think I'd like, you know, go on a real fight. Yeah. A little barber and brawl what were you saying mikey go ahead mike we're the same birthday you're on the 25th he's 26 you know that i'm 26 yeah we're gonna celebrate all together what do you want to do for our birthdays he's like food whatever it is pizza what do you want to do do you want it for your birthday do you want us to film you getting a flashlight strapped to your ass and joey
Starting point is 00:39:02 fucking it yeah for your birthday or we can just do the other option. Just straighten my hole. Straighten your hole. Now, because some of our gay friends, I won't mention their names on that because it might be personal, but some of our gay friends who we've mentioned before today said that they don't have sex. They're sexually active, but it's only oral sex.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Blowjobs. That's a whole part of the gay community as well. Yeah, because it's quicker and it's less stress. You have to take a dick. You have to prepare. You have to take a shit and then juice your ass out three times so the water runs clear. Otherwise, then you have stress the whole time. You're getting fucked. You can't even enjoy yourself because you're afraid there's going to be shit on stage.
Starting point is 00:39:35 So if you meet a guy at a bar, if you guys go home with each other, you're not fucking each other in the ass. You're going down on each other and that's about it. Hopefully, yeah. Until the morning when he goes and shits and cleans out. And then he fucking the ass yes but you have to use a condom you always use a condom yeah you have to there's those feminine guys who just always are prepared oh yeah yeah there's those guys they have it all in their handbag they have the cleaner outer but now they have that prep medication when you can't get anything right yeah what do we think of that
Starting point is 00:39:56 you can get you can get everything else except for hiv what is that what is it like it's called prep um true fodder and i asked my doctor everyone's like, Joey, you don't have sex. Why the hell would you take that? I was like, true dad. True dad. Yeah, because there are side effects. Like I have a friend who can get liver damage. And he couldn't smell.
Starting point is 00:40:12 He lost his sense of smell for like six months and then he couldn't taste food. Oh. So he was brutal. And what is it? It's like a force field for diseases? For HIV specifically. Yes. How?
Starting point is 00:40:23 How? I don't know the mechanics of it, to be honest. I don't know the... But it's like birth control. It's gay birth control. Wow, yes. Good time to be a gay guy right now. Great time to be a gay guy. But then you get everything else, like super gonorrhea and syphilis. Yeah, and a friend who had gonorrhea in his throat. Brutes.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Maybe that's what you got from eating pussy. No, I thought, well, you know what? To be honest with you, I tested it out. I just said, fuck it. I'm going to do it. A couple months ago, I ate... I was hooking up with a few girls and i and i and i ate them all out and nothing happened my throat was fine oh so i don't know i ate like i i wanted to just test it was like let me get short throat just to prove this to myself what happens if it smells when you go around there just don't do it i don't really deal with fumes that much with women now i've dealt with it once and i i told you honest i almost i almost got into a car
Starting point is 00:41:04 accident because of how bad it smelled. That one, yeah, that was funny. That was brutal because she's such a beautiful girl. How does she not know? Tell the story. How you almost hit your head. Yeah, we were hooked up in my car and then... Recently? No, no, no, a year ago.
Starting point is 00:41:20 So you were hooked up in the car at 35 years old? Yeah, yeah. And then, I know, it was the only thing. We did it. We were in a driving movie. It was in the car at 35 years old yeah yeah and then I know it was the only thing we did it we were in a driving movie it was in the 30s and I fingered her and then she blew me or whatever
Starting point is 00:41:30 and then it was just like I smelled something in my car I was like I don't know what the fuck this is maybe I'm driving
Starting point is 00:41:34 past garbage I don't know and then I went to go make like a hand over hand left turn maybe I left a subway tuna sandwich in my back seat
Starting point is 00:41:40 so yeah something like that and then I did a hand over hand left turn and my right hand went past my nose and i caught a whiff and i hit my head i hit my head off my mirror my window and i almost knocked myself no i just dropped her off but then i but it was one of those things we caught a backdraft caught a bad backdraft it was on my body for about three to four days and and she's wanting to hang out and i just i i couldn't do it unfortunately fake your death it's like yeah and then there was one time another girl we were hooking up and let me just say this real quick ladies who are listening if
Starting point is 00:42:12 this sounds familiar to your story latifort date latifort date it's not you beautiful girl beautiful woman um and we were hooking up and then she was like blowing me and she had like a huge booger on her nose oh god and i couldn't i just couldn deal with it. And then like it wound up on different places. Like at one point. Oh my God. Yeah. It was like on my elbow. Stop.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Yeah. And I just, and she's another one beautiful girl, but I just, I can't get over it. Terrifying. Yeah. Terrifying. It's a terrifying place. Yeah. But I've never had anal sex or done anything like that.
Starting point is 00:42:37 But you do? You've never had anal? Never. I've never, I've never done it or received it. So that's why you hook up with girls. What I noticed in your pattern of hooking up with girls is that you're very gay about the way you hook up with girls okay and like that you don't listen to them you don't remember them you don't right it's all about the sex like you don't see them as people really you just it's a it's a fucking sex it's
Starting point is 00:42:59 like you hook up with girls like gay guys hook up yeah the girls that you that you're gonna be like that you don't want to date those girls. But now things have changed where I am very open to dating a woman. I actually prefer it. It's the first time in my life I'd prefer that. I'm not going to go just settle for anybody. A lot of your friends getting married.
Starting point is 00:43:17 It's not even about marriage. I think it's just about me. I don't know that I care about that. I would maybe with the right woman. You have to stay hot all the time woman. I just, I want, I'm tired of being alone. You have to stay hot all the time too. It's like, you know, trying to land someone, you have to like. Yeah, the energy.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Also like, you know, Delilah, like she always, when she sleeps over, she's like, you know, you know, she'll say like, how come that's not on the wall? And then my mom is like, you know, you need a woman. Like the reason why your daughter is saying like, why does this place look like just a fucking empty shoe is because you don't have a woman in your life. I'll come decorate. I love that. Is there home goods
Starting point is 00:43:51 in Bay Ridge? Yes, they're very close. Mateo Lane came over a few months ago and cooked a beautiful dinner for us. He's doing good. Fantastic. He's so talented. That's the mustache comedian. He's got strong shoulders. He's hot, right? He's hot right Is he hot
Starting point is 00:44:06 Not for me though You like him a little burlier Yeah You can't say he's not a beautiful He's a beautiful man He's very hot You like blue collar Yeah I like blue collar
Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah So is Chrissy's like actually Like he was actually designed In a gay lab for you Yeah If you were to No it's 100% If you were to design
Starting point is 00:44:20 Your own personal Fuck boy sex toy It would be that They have to have at least Three B's And there's like A hundred different B's They can have But they they're like ranging things from like big beefy blonde buzz cut belly beard blue eyes baby face um big cock uh he's got all he's got a lot of those bees
Starting point is 00:44:36 except the shoulders it's got weak shoulders i mean maybe you're you weren't standing up straight in the picture that was all yeah let me. Let me ask you a quick question. Did you see any of the pictures from my wedding? Yes. My wife listens to this. Did she look beautiful? Oh, she looks stunning. Oh, Mrs. Pappas is gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Because you're an honest guy. And hearing that from you, she's going to love that. Where did you guys do it? On the bay? We did it at Oheka Castle. Okay. In Long Island. Oh, Long Island.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Oh, nice. But she looked good in the dress. The dress was beautiful, everything. Is she Jewish? She's, no, half Greek, half Italian. Oh, so she's Greek, nice. But she looked good in the dress. The dress was beautiful, everything. Is she Jewish? She's, no, half Greek, half Italian. Oh, so she's Greek, too. But she grew up in Long Island and Melville, so if she has the Jewish vibes, it's because she grew up around Jews.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Right, right. Yeah, I met her at Chrissy's pre-cum show. You did? Yeah. She loves you. She looks so nice. Thank you. No, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:45:18 I don't have any time. And he was in the wedding, right? Yeah, he was in the wedding. Oh, yeah. Big time. Unfortunately, it would have turned you on. It would have made, because you know, all the bees and stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:27 The kid's not really familiar with having a suit or a tux on, so he buttoned both buttons. Oh, on his jacket? He didn't know. A big no-no. Yeah, that just makes your midsection look bigger. Yeah, it was brutal. But you would have liked that, right? Because you would have been like, that's my fucking guy. Yeah. That's my guy. That's my fucking blue-collar guy.
Starting point is 00:45:42 He's not used to wearing a suit. He's wearing some fucking jeans. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing. My fucking blue collar guy. He's not used to wearing a suit. He's wearing some fucking jeans. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing for the rest of the day, Joe? You want to bang out? Yeah. I don't know. I have to go to Jersey tonight because I have to have a party on Saturday at my family's house. And I have to help clean the backyard and get ready for it. I have to go away. I have to go to San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Tonight? Big, big gay city tomorrow. And then to London. For what? Shows. Oh. Same friend of London. You're doing your stand-up shows? My little stand-up, yeah. Do you guys perform here at the Comedy Cellar? Sure.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Chris does. Yeah. I want to do an open mic night here one night. Come. Anytime. I'm sure. Do they have that? Not at the Comedy Cellar.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Yeah, if this is an elite place. We could do open mics. There's a website, badslava.com. It has all the open mics. Oh, really? I'll go with you to an open mic. We'll have a good time. Oh, good. Absolutely. All right. Just write some the open mics. I'll go with you to an open mic. We'll have a good time. Oh, good. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:46:25 All right. Sorry. It's a material for me. I'll go. All right. All right. So you got a day. We got a day. This is great. I like to do it. It was coming. I like how we just came in. We started. We didn't really have a we didn't really have a topic. Normally have a topic and notes. But this was like I don't need that. This was like a podcast episode
Starting point is 00:46:41 version of a pump and dump. This is a real pump and dump. Yeah, I just came and see what happened. You came in, you pumped it, you dumped it. And now I'm charged for the weekend. I got all this horny engine out because of my two boys. I'm going to rub it out before I leave the house. Absolutely. And I'll send you that dick pic. If you want that, that's something for you.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I can send that to you. No problem. He doesn't need it. It's in his hand. At this point, it's been burned down. He could fucking draw it at this point. Someone handed him a blank piece of paper. A piece of loose leaf.
Starting point is 00:47:04 He'd be like, it's sharp. He'd be like, how did you get a picture of it? I fucking drew it. Yeah, he's got it memorized. Yeah. All right. Thanks so much. We appreciate it. Thank you, Joey. Love you so much, guys. What is it on Instagram? MrJoeyP79? MrP79. M-I-S-T-E-R-P-7-9.
Starting point is 00:47:20 And you gotta go. You gotta follow because Joey's so funny. And listen to my podcast too. It's called It's Happening with Snooki and Joey. Anywhere podcasts are found. It's seriously so fucking funny. We had such a good time being on it. Listen to it. Follow Joey.
Starting point is 00:47:31 That's what it is. Love you. Love you. That was so fun, man. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

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