History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 85 - Birthdays Are WILD!

Episode Date: September 1, 2019

Chris, Yannis and Mike 'Emoji Face' celebrate their birthdays and the return of Venetia! The cuzzies celebrate their birthdays which make no mistake the simulators made a day apart. Yannis is Aug 25 and Chris Aug 26. Happy birthday Hyenas! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyena's fucking birthday episode. Yeah, I don't like this is getting too official. That was too much of a production going on. Yeah. We usually, you want to know why? Because we just got a little bit more efficient and official.

Yeah. Because we're missing the 23-year-old kid. Yeah. And it's our birthdays and we're all Franks and Beans. Yeah, and guess what? And we just, you guys heard

that pre-roll read because now we're sponsored by MyBookie. So guess who's a Patreon member? Tony DiStefano. Because he hears MyBookie and he's ready to gamble. He's ready to gamble.

Fred Flintstone. Yeah, guys. Happy birthday, Giannis. Happy birthday, you. But he's ready to gamble. He's ready to gamble. Fred Flintstone. Happy birthday, Giannis. Happy birthday, you. Also, happy birthday, Mike. Mike Emoji Face. It's Mike Emoji Face's birthday today. Holy shit. Happy birthday, Mikey. I forgot about it. And guess for a present, guess who came back to the United States and is back inside

the walls, the great laws of this country, the Greek peace, Venetia. Venetia's back. Yesia's back. Yes. Welcome back. We know all about your adventure from your stories. And Giannis thinks you're going to leave the podcast soon. I just want to say that.

He thinks he's just had enough. Let me just say that. You got to get that in front of you. You haven't been an on-air talent in a while. That's true. Here's what our podcast is. Yes. In summary, we're a podcast on the run, running from the law and your family and legal.

Yeah. And the legal system. Yeah. My family still hasn't, is not talking to me. Yeah. So I'm still, my mom texts me happy birthday today and that's about it. We're a podcast on the run. And then we got people, we got people working for us. Other podcasts are trying to steal Mike away.

Yeah. Yeah. We're going to put a stop to that. Yeah. Because yeah. Yeah. And Venetia is just got better things to do than to sit around with two fucking Franks and Beans kids.

Yeah. And say yes all day. Yes. But guess what? Venetia, before you go, because you can't get that birthday thing on that thing on your big head is is just emphasizing how big your head is. Yeah. With no haircut.

Because your head looks like Busta Rhymes' arms. It's just what it is. Yeah. We found- Because do you take steroids in your skull? Just in my skull. What we figured out about Giannis Pappas, by the way, since you being gone, is what his- Why?

The reason why he can't- I'm fully gay. He's fully gay. And why he can't get it together in the gym is because his limbs are too short and his torso is too long. Because if that birthday hat falls over your face one more time, I'm going to leave. I just got too big of a head. You just can't get it on. I got to take the headphones

off. I can't have too many things on my head. I can only now. Because you look like a retarded unicorn. Yeah, now I can't. You can't put two things on your head. I can't have too many things strapped to my head because my head's just too big. Yeah.

Anyway. Did I start? I didn't even press start. Itpped to my head because my head's just too big. Yeah. Anyway. Did I start? I didn't even press start. It's recorded on here, so don't worry about it. Okay. Oh, my God. It just feels weird to be in better hands today. Yeah.

I mean, look. We got Venetia flanking to our left and Mike to our right. We just can't lose because Zach is a fucking weak link, and normally things fall by the wayside with him, but today they just are not going to whenever Zach's behind the production soundboard we just don't know if the episode is going to sound like we did it underwater yeah there's a good chance it sounds like we're scuba diving while we did the podcast

yeah where did you say Zach is in North Carolina yeah was there ISIS training center down there why is he down there yeah he's probably yeah he's meeting other cells yeah anytime i see yeah any any isis video that comes out with bad sound quality you know zach did it yeah you know let's just be honest want to be crystal yeah let's just be crystal clear okay nobody's ever gotten on a

plane there's this video my hat's about to go down it's about to snap right over my glass your hat's about to go down like you on stage. Did you see... Did you see that there's a video maybe Mike can find it. There's a video of a guy praying on a plane. Okay. He's a Muslim guy and he's on the floor and he's, you know, and, you know, they pray towards whatever direction

Mecca is. So he's on the plane and he's praying and there's like people all around him just standing around him like you know, because like who wouldn't get nervous in that situation yeah maybe it's the media conditioning or whatever but are you telling me you're just gonna step over that guy and go to the bathroom no are you gonna stand there and and maybe try to tackle him yeah you can't so then what happens is he prays there's a video of it if if you can find it isis i just called you isis by accident yeah mikey emoji face on airplane and then he gets up and he punches

the dude in the face. The guy praying? Yeah, here it is. Check it out. Wait. This is a real thing. It's only got 4,000 views. There's probably a bunch of, you know, how they always reproduce it and put it up. When did you see this? Like last night.

Wait, that's not the right angle. Might be a different guy. That's what I right angle. That'd be a different guy. That's what I'm saying. It's probably a different thing. Is it the right guy, though? No, it's... Just, Mike, Google, just put it in Muslim Praying on Plain. Like, yeah, Muslim Punches

guy after praying or something. Yeah. Muslim Praying on Plain. Mike's just got a little... He's got a little moisture in there yeah the moisture yo fucking Mike was a piece in high school Mike well that I think that was a very cause you're looking cute I want to punch you through

yeah you want to punch me through you want to punch my ass through cause your life's falling apart I know cause I'm back together though little by little no you are back together but you have a fucking cause I only sat down one show in Connecticut yeah I mean hold on I just want to I'm back together, though, little by little. No, you are back together, but you have a fucking... Because I only sat down one show in Connecticut. Yeah. I mean, hold on. I just want to be crystal clear.

Giannis Pappas just said, my life is finally back together. And look what he looks like. That's a guy who has it together. What you're looking at tells a different story. Yeah. Yeah, because that's good. You just did a marketing video.

We're getting good at those. Marketing. Venetia, look how screwed in she got. She got very good. Very good. You just did a marketing video. We're getting good at those. Marketing. Look how screwed in she got. She got very good. Very good. You guys have been doing well without me. I missed you guys. Yeah, we're not as good. But a lot has happened since I've been gone. A lot. I felt like

she was getting into that thing where she was like, a lot has happened, which brings me to my next point is I'm leaving the podcast. You got one foot out. No, no, no. I'm here. I felt like I was calling you guys. I was bothering, no. I'm here. I felt like I was calling you guys. I was bothering you guys while I was away. Never. We want to get this podcast so

big that we can truly employ Venetia. Did you miss the United States when you were in Greece? Did you miss New York? I miss New York a lot. Like a lot. I had serious FOMO actually. They wanted me to stay there for these weeks and I was like, no, I'm coming back. Who wanted to stay? The country of Greece? Yeah, the country. The government asked you to stay? for these weeks and I was like now I'm coming back who wanted to stay the country of Greece the government asked you to stay

you're a big asset for them no but I was I missed it here and I saw you guys and what you guys were doing here I need to come over and get you guys in check you went to London how was that oh my god you've been gone that long

I got up and left the audio turned off audio's out how was that? Oh my god, you've been gone that long. Yeah, I got up and left. Yeah, I was so the audio turned off. Yeah, audio's out. Audio's out. Audio's completely out. I can't hear a thing. I can't hear a thing. Wait, turn that off. Go unplug something, Chris. Did I? Yeah. Oh.

I got it. We're out. We're gonna be back. How do I get it on? Wait, is that out? You have to slice it all the way up. No, he didn't do that. How could I kick it out like that? No, he didn't kick that out. That came out? Mike's on the floor. So they missed all that or were we gone?

Oh, you're fine. Oh, it's just we can't hear it in our speakers. You alright, Mike? We are a fully Franks and Beans operation. Yeah. But happy birthday, cuz. Happy birthday to you. Cuz, your mom wrote a message on Facebook.

What? Really? You didn't see it? No. Okay, well, what did she say? She said that she... My mom's the only one left in my family that supports me. Yeah, it's just... She will be there no matter what.

You ever notice that it doesn't matter what you do, your mom will be there. Yeah, my mom just doesn't care. Every serial killer documentary you watch, it's always like a mother going like, I don't know, he was such a good kid. I can't believe he did it. It's like, there were signs. When he was torturing all those

animals in the backyards, you just thought he was going to become a surgeon or something because women and mothers always see the glasses half full, whereas the fathers are just going like, this one's broken. I'll make another one with my balls. I got millions. It's just what it got millions I'll just have more kids it doesn't matter yeah yeah yeah women

women are fucking love unconditionally like that and that's too much sometimes yeah it's fucking it's just really funny that that thing is I mean it's right above your eyes because I want I know I can't control it but I want to find I want the people to hear your mom's message to you today

you didn't even know even I didn't even know. Why would you know? You've thrown hands. You probably messaged 500 people. Why would you check to see if your mom was Japanese? TBH. I had show, by the way,

just real quick. Well, you just want to send it. Okay. Okay. Good. Read it then. She says Linda Stefano.

She tagged you in it. Okay. She's internet savvy. Yes. She's got a lot of time on her hands now. She's retired. She probably learned how to tag. She's just retired waiting for her dog to die yeah that dog's really close put him down about three years ago but he's just fucking he's just limping around and dragging his

body around the floor that kid is on the runway he's yeah that kid is on the runway yeah he also survived fucking a bleach attack from you it's just one of this you met you never heard that story chris tried to feed him bleach? Yeah. Yeah, and then I fed him Tide Pods. Yeah, he tried. That was the first Tide Pod challenge 10 years ago. He was barking too much and Chris just couldn't handle it

and he didn't want to take care of the dog anymore, so he tried to feed him. Yeah, I was on steroids trying on Nazi uniforms and it pissed me off. Thank you. That was the first way you're on Jan. Yeah, it's a little low. Can we get it up? How old is that dog now? What's that? How old is that dog? 47, that dog. Yeah, it's got little low can we get it up how old is that

47 that dog yeah it's gotta be 15 years old what I meant when I met Larry first when I went over there first of all Chris's mom was hilarious when I climbed up the neutrals I went into his fucking how great was that climbing the neutrals is a monumental moment did you smell the cigarette smoke as you went

at the bottom no but I handed my passport to customs and I went into fucking another country. Because the first few steps smells like cigarette smoke. The first house is Puerto Rican and then the whites live upstairs. They live upstairs, but that's what I'm saying. On the neutrals, the first few steps smell like Newport lights and then the top steps smell like incense from church. It just changes. It just changes

about the fourth, fifth step. You start to just smell. It smells like the inside of a Catholic church. Yeah, that's right. And you're a little bit more welcome now upstairs as you, not so much welcome downstairs. Yeah. Upstairs, they're making chicken cutlets. Downstairs, they're just pissing you for things you said on the podcast. It's just what it is.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. So I climbed up those neutrals and the first thing your mom, it was like, can I get you something to eat? She offered me an Entenmann's cake. She asked me if I wanted a little Sanka.

She just wanted to know if I was comfortable. She's so sweet. Yeah. Then I went into Chris's room and it's still got the rug from the 80s. Yeah. And the VH, the VH tap. And the pull-up bar. It's got the pull-up bar still in there.

It's got some pamphlets from church. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also got what my mom doesn't know. And hopefully she doesn't listen to podcasts. It's also got, there's a little, there's a little draw in the back of my closet. It has some porno in there and it still has some porn from the late nineties in there.

It's got, there's a blue VHS tape. Why don't you get rid of it? Why don't you go there and get rid of it? Because you forgot until this moment it was there. Sometimes when I'm there, I like to throw it on. All right. So what did my mom say? So she offered me some steak.

She offered me some Entenmann. She offered me some Senka. Yeah. And then I had a bro. She had a bro. No, she didn't have a bro. She moved the vegetables and there were brews there. No, not when we were there.

I was remember I came with you and then and then we went into the. I actually don't remember this, but you know, what do you remember? Yeah, I'm just yeah. I'm just in the moment like a dog. Yeah. Look, because this you're not living for this. Now you're living for whatever the next adrenaline rush is. Yeah.

So this is just in between time. this this is not exciting how did when you first walked in you had hair and now you don't have hair 10 minutes later you have no hair do i look bald right now you look good i'm kidding so you do look good you're fucking looking jacked i'm starting to fucking work out cuz i'm starting to get fucking jacked you're jacked cuz i'm gonna punch you through yo i won't punch you through cuz yeah, I'm going to punch you through, cuz. I'm going to crawl on your lap, cuzzy. Cuz, get in my lap. I heard the dog barking.

I mean, uncontrollably barking. I'm a dog person. I love dogs. I went over to the dog to try to let it smell my hand and it was looking another direction. Lynn just goes, he's's blind he hasn't been able to see in a couple years yeah and all he

does is just bark and sit there and he has no idea what's going on so the dog is blind he can't hear yeah he can't move yeah and all he does is bark all day and all night and he pisses right in his spot she needs to put that dog down she needs to put it down at this point it's dog abuse yeah I mean I fucking electrocute him when she's not

looking I mean that dog is probably trying to inch himself At this point, it's dog abuse. I fucking electrocute him when she's not looking. That dog is probably trying to inch himself off the couch and probably throws himself off over and over again. Just like my mother-in-law's dog. He went bad. What happened?

We were telling her to put the dog down. The dog's like 14 and its front paws weren't working. It would just back up into walls. If you see would just like back up into walls, which is if you see it start to back up into walls, the dog's just looking for heaven. It's trying to find a door out of here. It's like, why are you still keeping me alive? Because the dog, if it was in nature, would just be killed. It doesn't want to

be here anymore. It's like, we're the only ones who do that. Put our grandparents on life support and all that shit. Nature's just, they're gone. Even your grandparents, like if they could talk or whatever, if they're in a coma, just like fucking kill me yeah lions when they're dying they just go into a field and they lay down and die yeah it's time to go so what did my mother say on facebook huh what did my mother say on facebook we'll get to it we're i'm building suspense okay so anyway is it nice am i gonna cry it's real nice and you might cry yeah but you know

because no matter what you do you cannot let this lady down you know and first she posted a picture of you pumpkin picking look at that wow look at how innocent you are yeah look at that actually looks a lot like delilah that's exactly what my daughter looks like like your daughter right yeah that looks like delilah yeah and then she posted this so she posted both pics yeah it's just that's very yeah she wanted the one with you in a suit because that yeah she wants you church she wants you

church ready church ready because the other ones are just me in Yankees jerseys with my tattoos out yeah she doesn't like those ones

yeah no she's not a fan of that she's like there he is he's got his body covered he's in a suit yeah she needs you in more of a classy situation

we found out this weekend your mom got accepted to a few good schools but then things then you happened yeah it's just what it is

it was very intelligent um so Lynn DeStefan. Yeah. We have a Chevrolet. Everybody knows. Yeah. She says, happy 35th birthday, Chris. Perfect punctuation as well. Yeah. No, she's intelligent. Yeah. Grammar is correct.

Yeah. And she did it with an exclamation point. So she said, happy 35th birthday, Chris. Yeah. So she's excited about it. She didn't call me Christopher? No, just Chris. Wow. Interesting. And then she says, I can't believe how much time has passed. It's been such a joyful ride. I love you with all my heart. Wow.

That's nice. Come on, where's the waterworks? Oh yeah, hold on. Wait. She loves you with all her heart. I don't know if I could cry though. I mean, fucking put up when Nazis invaded Poland. You also got a message. You got a message from your friend. Okay.

I don't know if you know this kid, but he claims to know you. Okay. And he's a friend of yours from Ridgewood. Yeah. And so he gave you a birthday message. From Ridgewood, Queens. I just want to give a birthday shout out

to Christopher DiStefano. Chrissy, happy birthday, man. I don't see you in the neighborhood too much anymore. Fucking, you're a big actor now. So, happy birthday to you. And listen, I want to, if you need anybody in your skits, I'm available. You know, put me in your skits. You know, we never knew you were going to be a fucking actor.

I mean, you were a basketball player back in the day. You should have seen Chrissy playing with the blacks. I mean, this kid, we thought he was going to at least make the Westchester Knicks or something. You know? And then the kid goes and he becomes a fucking scientist for a couple years. He becomes a scientist for a couple years. He's doing that shit. Yeah.

And the next thing you know, I see him on TV doing skits. He's a big fucking actor on the Letterman Show. So, listen, you know, Chrissy, put me in one of your skits. What's up, guys? He just wants to be in one of your skits, yeah. He wants to be in one of my skits. He said you disappeared for a couple years to be a scientist or something like that. You know what's funny that you say that?

And he also said he was carrying up Ann Eileen's groceries once in a while, so the neighborhood's got her. Do you know if I'm being dead serious? Yeah. It's funny that when I heard that, I just was reminded there was the park in Ridgewood was Farmer's Oval. And by the time I was like 18, 19, I had just become like the neighborhood basketball player the white guy and like black kids would come and puerto ricans from like other there was a lot of puerto ricans in my neighborhood but blacks would come from like deep in bushway knows a few in your family and cut oh yeah and come to the park and play and like all those guys like those fucking neighborhood

guys would like line the court yeah and just be young like give the ball to chris you're not gonna fucking stop. Chrissy. He's our guy. And then they would let some racial slurs fly. And I would get a little nervous. My arms would get a little nervous when I would hear, you know,

a word I would be like, ah, and then I'd miss a shot. So I remember, I remember like being like, you know, like support. I was a great white Hope of Queens.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I wound up at St. Joseph's college in downtown Brooklyn. That's about as far as you're going to go. Yeah. From Ridgewood. You were the division three. You were the great I wound up at St. Joseph's College in downtown Brooklyn. Yeah. That's about as far as you're going to go. Yeah. From Ridgewood. You were the-

It's Division III. You were the great white hope in Ridgewood, and then you rode the bench at Malloy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just what it is.

But the fact that I got into Malloy was a big deal for the neighborhood. That's a big deal for the neighborhood, and that also that you were a pretty good player out there on the blacktop during the days. Yeah. Because Italians like to sit out in long furniture. They like to do it. Is there anything more than an Italian loves besides his mother? Yeah. Loves his mother. And besides his car. Yeah. Because Italians like to sit out in lawn furniture. They like to do it. Is there anything more than an Italian loves besides his mother? Yeah.

Loves his mother. And besides his car. Yeah. To sit out on lawn furniture. And besides Donald Trump. Because I feel like if Paul E.G.S. was even a multimillionaire, he'd still live at home with Ma. Yeah.

Well, he, it's, you know, it's, he's, he's got some big things going on that I can't wait to tell you. Yeah. I'm going to tell you off the air. And it's so funny. I almost want to, I almost fell out of my, I'm going to tell you off the air. And it's so funny. I almost want to. I almost fell out of my car, but I'll tell you off the air because he just messaged me and he's

pissed at people. I don't even want to say it because then they're going to do it on Patreon. OK, we'll do it on the page. We'll do it on the Patreon dot com Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge boys for all the extra stuff that the history hyenas do that. You got to be part of the family to get the real good shit. Yeah. And look, we lost a few fucking soldiers. We lost a few soldiers. This is fucking soldiers we lost a few soldiers this is what it is you know this is what it is

where do we lose them we have a matriarchy we have a cackle of hyenas yeah so i don't even get disappointed anymore yeah i don't even get upset yeah when some of the lower ranking fucking non toots drop out yeah because this is nature the weak aren't going to survive. Yeah. So if we just missed two weeks because things are going on and Chrissy's got to go bang porn stars in fucking Vegas and host the porn awards for a little bit and we lost some toots because people were upset that we didn't give them content

for two weeks. Yeah. Good. You were weak anyway. Yeah. Because the Patreon is only for the strong women. That's what it is. Listen to me. All the single ladies. If you're looking for a patriarchy podcast, this isn't it. This is the matriarchy. This is for women and for guys who like to tuck their dicks back and listen to Barbra Streisand. If you're not one of those people

then don't listen to our podcast. Do you know the Ghostbusters movies that came out and it was all women? That's our podcast. That's what we are. We are the woman version of fucking Ghostbusters at all times. That's what it is. We're like as if fucking Hollywood remade the Joe Rogan podcast. Yeah.

With two fucking queens. Yeah. That's who we are. Yeah, if you get horned up when you see Ruth Bader Ginsburg, put on our podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz, happy birthday. What are you gonna do for your birthday? Well, today, what do we got for today? Well, first of all, we're gonna do a podcast now, and then I'm taking the baby to Taekwondo. She's gonna get

going for her orange belt on Saturday. So we take the baby to Taekwondo, and then we're going to do a podcast now, and then I'm taking the baby to Taekwondo. She's going to get going for her orange belt on Saturday. So take the baby to Taekwondo, and then we're going to go to a little cupcake shop in Bay Ridge. She wants to go to a little cupcake, so we're going to get a little cupcake. And then I'm going to go home, and I've just really been watching a lot of Revolutionary War documentaries, and I just finished one and go on to the next one. So I have a new Revolutionary War documentary to start, and make no mistake, because it is my birthday, I'm going to get inside that love sack naked. So you don't have any plans for your birthday?

No. Your mom's not taking you out to any restaurant or anything? No. My mom said that we're going to go to Glendale Diner on Saturday. You go to Glendale Diner. We go to Glendale Diner. We're going to go Saturday morning. Yeah.

So I don't really care. Not that I don't care about my birthday. I appreciate it, but it's not like a thing. I don't need to celebrate it. I know, but here's the't. It's not like a thing. I don't need to celebrate it. I know, but here's the thing. I'm happy, you know, that we're all celebrating all our birthdays. No matter. I'm happy that it's all our birthdays.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Michael. What are you doing for your birthday? Getting cheese. After this, I don't know. Well, all right. Do you want to come over and hang out in the love sack? Should we all just go to Glendale Diner?

You want to go to Glendale Diner? It used to be called Bob's Diner, but then Bob got killed, so now it's called Glendale Diner. Yeah, I was just saying, no matter how far you get from Queens, Queens will always reach out and grab you back. Always, 100%. Yeah, I mean, if you're a kid who's doing well in comedy and you're having your birthday at Glendale Diner, I mean, you're a fucking Queensborough

trash kid. Yeah, no, that's where it is, Glendale Diner, and it's interesting because for the first, like, 14 birthdays I had, they were at the McDonald's on Myrtle Avenue that had a big playpen. We would do it there. And then we just moved one block north to Bob's Diner, Glendale Diner. And that's where my birthdays

are. It was in the McDonald's for the first 15 years. And now these last 20 years, it's been at Glendale Diner. It's the same block radius. Did you ever get driven all the way down to Nellie Bly? Yeah, we would go to Nellie Bly. Take it Delilah Nellie Bly. She likes Nellie Bly. Well, me, you and Delilah, way down to Nellie Bly? Yeah, we would go to Nellie Bly. Take a Delilah Nellie Bly. She likes Nellie Bly. Well, me, you, and Delilah. We went to Nellie Bly once.

Do you remember that or you don't remember that? I remember. Because when you see me, do you remember if I'm your friend or does it take a second? No, I remember everything. Did you remember Venetia when she walked in or did you think it was just somebody you had cracked open and cleaned out? Yeah. You're like, who's this girl? Oh, yeah.

She's on the podcast. No, you know what I've noticed? Everything that has to do with Delilah I'm plugged in. I remember everything. There's not every, even things like pictures pop up and I'll text to like her mom or mom would be like, remember this? And they'd be like, no, you know, so many things have happened. I remember it all. But any other stuff? Yeah. Like I just, even my shows this weekend, like, cause a lot,

all my friends came, my Delilah's godfather came, Luke, my boys from home, Dan and this other guy, cause a lot, all my friends came, my Delio's godfather came, Luke, my boys from home, Dan and this other guy, Billy Hayes, they all came in my friend, Chris, they all just came to hang out with me in Chicago. And they were like, after the show was like, Oh, that joke that that new one or that joke or that joke. And I'm like, I genuinely, I just do it. And then it's over.

I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Like a dog. It's just over. Yeah. You don't have a memory. I'm just in there. Like one guy was like, that was the, that was an hour run, hour long run on sentence. And I'm like, yeah,

I just don't, I don't know. I don't remember. You just go. I couldn't tell you one word. Yeah. Well, you know, father bill just kind of screwed you into the moment like that. Yeah. Where you just feel like you don't want to remember things. By the way, father bill on the Patreon came to the shows in Chicago. The guy who told us who's father bill. Yeah. Yeah. He, he was like, Hey, my patron is father. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's the guy that you took a photo with Father Bill. Yeah? Yeah, he was like, hey, my patron name's Father Bill. Yeah, yeah, because... Is that the guy that you took a photo with? Yes.

A lot of our... Father Bill was there. Young hot dude, that guy. Was Rob Pinky McStinky there? Pinky McStinky, he didn't make himself known if he was there. There were a couple of people, there were a couple of Ihenas that were there that did not make themselves known right and they told me

after the show that they did not want to make themselves known in the crowd because they just didn't want to get cracked open and cleaned out yeah they didn't want to get punched through yeah they didn't want to get punched through why were you calling them out like no well no because what happened was it's one of the shows on friday again i don't remember what i said but i said something wild and then about 10 people yelled way shan in a live comedy show. And then I was like, Oh my God, who's here from the podcast. And then it was a big number. And then some people after, uh, like a girl came up to me and her boyfriend was like down the block. She was like, he's a huge hyenas fan, but he doesn't want to, he don't want to say anything. And I was like, and then there was a line of people, you know,

I was waiting to take pictures and say hello to people.. And I was like, and then there was a line of people, you know, I was waiting to take pictures and say hello to people. And then it was like, who, who's a hyena fan? And then he made, you know, made noise. And then it was like, who doesn't want to make themselves known? And then I saw some people like some people didn't want to make themselves known that they were hyenas. Cause it's fucking, you know, it's our podcast is wild. Yeah.

Podcast a little wild and people have to consider that they have jobs and careers and they don't want people to know that they listen to the things that we say but we're not even that wild yeah and what i did is here i feel like we're good and here's what i did she's fucking super dope and chill yeah she's super dope and chill and here's what i did i actually genuinely acted like a hyena vulture and and started to get because the best thing that hyenas can do is they steal everybody else's prey so what i did was because i'm screwed in and I had my fucking Yami on all weekend, Andrew Schultz was in Chicago and he sold out all his shows. He's doing big theaters.

The kid's a fucking big star. He's doing big theaters. But he did do one show at Zany's. He added a show and it was right after my show. And I went on that line and I poached like a hyena. And I started fucking picking people off and getting them over to the hyenas. You did? You said, yeah.

I got a few into my Friday show and I got a few into Saturday and I got a few on, hopefully onto the Patreon. Yeah. And I started fucking picking people off and getting them over to the Agenas. You did? You said, yeah, I got a few into my Friday show and I got a few into Saturday and I got a few on, hopefully onto the Patreon. Yeah. And I started fucking picking at them. That's what you got to do. Yeah, because- So what did he do? He just added a show?

Just he wanted to do one more at Zany's? He had two shows sold out at Talia Hall, which is like 600, 700 seats each. So the kid crushed ticket sales. And then because he moved so many tickets so quick, there was, I was only doing the eight o'clock on Thursday at Zany's. So last minute Thursday morning, Zany's was like, why don't you just doing the eight o'clock on thursday at zany so so he was last minute thursday morning he put one zany's was like why don't you just do the 10 o'clock and it fucking sold out so he had a big line yeah so i went out there and i started fucking picking people i started picking out his prey guys we're brought to you as always by nine

street auto collision i know it's been a while since you guys heard your thing they're out there on the island yeah so this is only for people out there on the island this is specifically for people you know but there's nine million fucking people that live back there on the island. So this is only for people out there on the island. This is specifically for people out there. But there's nine million fucking people that live back there on that island. Nine million people live out on the island? There's nine million people

that live on the island. They live on a fucking island? They live on the island. And cuz, there's gonna be a little fun. By the way, just real quick, today's episode is about

the Hessians, the German mercenary force. It's not about our birthdays. It's not about our birthdays. Because it's my days, yours, and my birthdays, and it's the return

of Benetia. Guess who else's birthday it is? Dave Chappelle. That's a big one. Oh, it's his birthday today? And Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. So we're going to talk about the Hessians, the German army.

And they've just, a lot of them wound up on Long Island. But go ahead. And also another fact, history hyena fact of the day, is there's no way Macaulay Culkin was not fucked by a few pedophiles in Hollywood. That just happened. It's just what it is. It just happened. Yeah. There's no way that kid is just happened. It's just what it is. It just happened. Yeah.

There's no way that kid is going to run through Hollywood and have all that success without getting touched by a couple of pervs. Mike, do we have no sound effects today at all? Uh, we just have Waitress on Shein right now. That's it. Okay.

The rest were on Zach's phone. So Chris hasn't said anything wild yet? I haven't, I don't think I've said anything. I don't think he has. It's your birthday. So you're being a good kid. Now you're all mature.

Cause you're 35, a 35 year old kid. You're a 35 year old adult. Yeah. I don't think he has. It's your birthday, so you're being a good kid. Now you're all mature because you're 35. I'm a 35-year-old kid. You're a 35-year-old adult. I don't think you can go into Chuck E. Cheese anymore. I don't think you can go into Medieval Times anymore. You may have to go to an adult restaurant for your birthday. That's a problem because I booked 10 tickets for Medieval Times this Sunday.

Who's going with you? Hopefully you and the people here. Yeah. I spent about $400. Did you really book? here spent about $400. Did you really, bud? Yeah, I got tickets. We're all going then. Sunday morning. You coming, Venetia?

Yana, you gonna come? Yeah, well, if you're out there and if you don't come to Medieval Times, if you're out there on the island, just go hit them up at Huntington Station. 631-351-5300. They will crack open whatever your fucking car is and clean it out.

They work with all insurances. They do towing too. Cause nine street auto collision out there on the Island. And then we got CBD script fucking that's your CBD oil. All right. Uh, they're manufactured by silver laboratories and the products are 100% real and full spectrum.

Like we say, they're not autistic. They are a hundred percent THC free cause they got all types of gummies, edibles, all that. Go to their website, cbdscript.com, promo code HAHINAS15 to get 15% off your total offer.

Goodbye to this kid. He's gone. And we're brought to you as always by a healthy, small family in cosmetic dentistry. This is another local ad, small business. We love it down here,

down there in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Love him. It's Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. So go get your tech. I follow them on Instagram. You do? Yeah. I want to go. I need to go. They got a lot of kids going there. Why don't we go? Why don't we honestly. We'll take a trip down there. We got to go to Charleston anyway to do a history tour. Why don't we do that and get cleanings?

That's a good fucking idea. Seriously, because I have to go to the dentist. You're a fucking smart kid because i'm fucking screwed the fuck in there were the there were like hardcore high-level fucking jews um crawling around in the airport because what are we what are we doing here i mean what are you doing yeah you see you're focusing on fucking sam murill's fucking podcast yeah because he's fucking got you in his juice bell yeah give me he's... Give me another one. Come on! It's not playing.

Well, I can't say things if we don't have the button. He just said there's juice crawling around. Wait till I see it. I got... You got to get the button to work. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. No, honestly. We were going to fire Zach.

Now we need him back. We need him back. He's the only one who knows how to work the button. Yeah, it's so... And it's the only thing he's good at. Yeah, if you want to kill Mike, just unplug his sleep ap the button. Yeah. It's the only thing he's good at. Yeah. If you want to kill Mike, just unplug his sleep apnea mask. Yeah.

So wait. So they were praying like, like hardcore, like wrapping the shit around their arms, fucking praying. And I was like, these kids are fucking screwed the fuck in. Yeah. Like they don't miss a beat. No. Muslims do that too.

They'll do that in public. They don't give a fuck. You ever seen them where they wrap the shit around their arms? Yeah. They throw a towel over it. Muslims do it too. Yeah. Muslims are screwed into that. So a guy started praying on the fucking airplane mike mike can't even find that we need zach you know if i'm being honest with you though if i'm being honest there's like she's like a well-known girl

really beautiful like beautiful girl great person and we've been like talking a little bit like whatever like she wants to like hang out and, and she was like that she's Christian, like really Christian. Who's this? I, well, I don't want to say your name. You're just talking about,

this is a girl. Yeah. And she's like, Oh, I'm, I'm Christian. Like I'm very Christian. And it's just like,

it's, I, it's very like, I don't want to, I don't want to hang out. It's weird to me. You got Catholic scriptures on your arm. I know,

but it's like, I don't feel, you should have said babe, babe, babe. It's like, it's weird. Like,

I don't know. I'm protecting you from anxiety right here, babe. Yeah. I got you anxiety. Yeah. So I don't know. I should have said babe, babe, babe. It's like, it's weird. Like, I don't know. Protecting from anxiety right here, babe. Yeah, I got you anxiety. Yeah. I don't know. You just felt weird about it. No, where my point is like over the past year. That doesn't make it hotter, do you?

Religion. No, religion. Now, a very religious person is not. It's something that I'm actually want to be away from as opposed to go towards. Right. But I didn't used to be that way for a long time. I was like, oh, if they're religious, that means they're good. Now, I feel like they're ultra religious. It's like, what? I don't know. I can't for a long time. I was like, oh, if they're religious, that means they're good. Now I feel like they're ultra religious.

Like what? I don't know. I can't trust something about you. It's strange. Religion is having the opposite effect on me for some reason. I don't know why. Was she like saying something to you, like, like bringing out her religious beliefs? No, she was just like, do you go to church?

She asked me if I go to church. And I said, no, you know, my kids baptized, but I don't go. But I was like, you know, but I was like, I'm listening. I'm team Jesus. I'm like, go, Jesus. Yes. I like joking around. She's like, oh, like I go to church. I said no you know my kids baptized but i don't go but i was like you know but i was like i'm listening i'm team jesus i'm like go jesus yes huh like joking around she's like oh like i go to church i'm like very christian and i was just like oh i don't know about that or like there was another girl i was this was a year ago she was like oh yeah i go to like those these new faith like hip-hop churches and i'm just it's just weird to me is that bad i grew up i

don't want to feel that way no it's not bad because look i grew up on jesus too but let's just be honest you know he's probably the worst. He's probably the worst fucking, it's probably the worst superhero story of all time. Jesus. Okay, because he came to save the day and all he did was got himself killed. Yeah, but. And that's all that happened. So where's the fucking superpower? Yeah, but even Iron Man died too. Yeah, but

he could turn water into wine. He could fucking bring dead people back, right? Yeah. And then he just comes here and he says, I'm here to save you. And then he bounces after he gets killed. Yeah. So what, how's he the savior? And then he just comes here and he says, I'm here to save you. And then he bounces after he gets killed. Yeah. So what, what, how's he the savior? What did he save us from? I don't know. Is there no disease or what? No, there is still here.

Yeah. No, there, you could still get chlamydia. Yeah. We know that, you know, that your dick knows that. No, I haven't had it in a while because we're also brought I don't bang out anymore. So Harvey Spencer Jr. That's what we're going to do. We're going to go down to South Carolina. That's a great idea. It's a great idea.

And we'll videotape it. We'll meet Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. How far is Rocky Hill from Charleston? Look it up because it's Rock Hill. Rock Hill or Rocky Hill? Rock Hill. Cock Hill. Yeah, Rock Hill.

Okay. It's not the Poughkeepsie Hill where you're going to get put down. All right. Go ahead, read them. Rock Hill, South Carolina. Go to a healthy, Rock Hill. It's not the Poughkeepsie Hill where you're going to get put down. Alright, go ahead, read them. Rock Hill, South Carolina. Go to ahealthyhappysmile.com Seriously, if you live in South Carolina and you listen to this podcast, go to Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. and his wife and get your teeth cleaned, get your cavities

filled, and take a picture, make a video, shot us out. We'll put it on our Instagram. Thank you as always, Dr. Harvey Spencer, Jr. It's too far. It's too far.

How far is it? Two hours and 50 minutes, but it's only about 30 minutes from Charlotte. Oh, babe. So it's in South Carolina. Why is South Carolina is a big state. That's right.

It's a big old state. So we'll just have to go to Charlotte. Then it's a big old state. Nutrition made fun. This kid, he's still doing his thing. Go check him out. Follow him.

Follow him on Instagram. Nutrition made fun this kid He's still doing his thing Go check him out Follow him on Instagram Nutrition made fun Get enrolled in his program The kid is fucking screwed in He's cute And he's all about He's all about very sensible plans For toots and non-toots

The kid's fucking ripped too Yeah, Matt Koch So go follow Nutrition Made Fun on Instagram And it's a really fun follow, actually, for all types of nutrition tips and things like that. And then, of course, we got Lakeside Maple, which actually my wife said we're about to order some because I'm about to throw that in my yogurt. They sent a care package. Lakeside Maple sent a care package, too. I've had it in my trunk for about two months and I just opened it. Wait, they sent it here?

No, they sent it to my house and it's just been in my trunk. How does everyone have your fucking address? I just gave it out to too many people. Yeah. So yeah, do you have it in your trunk with you? I want some. Yeah. No, well, I actually, I left it, I left it by the situation's house.

Oh. Yeah. With the, with the necklaces that Sal got us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're all, they're all. Should we just call it a situation from now on?

Yeah. With the situation. So Lakeside Maples trail mix baked in pure maple syrup. Go check it out, man. They got three flavors, original ginger, chai, and spicy. I snapped the thing on, I snapped the thing. Yeah. Your head's too big. Well, whatever. We did it.

Cause you look like, you look like the situation. You look like your head's, you know, you look. I haven't gotten a hair coat or shave. Cause you look like Triple H. Go to lakesidemape.com lakesidemape.com order some lakeside maple

and put the promo code wild at checkout for 15% off. Go do it. Order it and take a picture and tell us how you like it. Support the other listeners. This kid has a fucking business and he's part of the matriarchy. You're part of the matriarchy or at least you're a low-level fucking non-poo.

But you know what? Be healthy and get yourself some Lakeside Maple. Order it on his website. Peace. That's it. All right. Those are quick. Can we talk about...

What about Yanis' birthday yesterday? What did you do? Oh, yeah, yeah. Then I want to talk about the Hessians. Yeah, my birthday was unbelievable. Yeah, happy birthday. Do you know what that means?

That means like you make it to a hundred. Oh yeah, yeah, it may make it to a hundred. My grandmother died on her hundredth birthday. May you have many years of celebration. Your grandma what? She died on her 100th birthday. Like literally she turned 100 and then died in her sleep that night.

And she had gotten a card from the president, Ronald Reagan, at the time on her 99th birthday because he thought it was her 100th birthday. Yeah. Your family's hands just been going to the right for a long time. Generations. We go to the right. Yeah. It's just what it is.

And that's why that. And how long have you been pretending to vote left? I've been. How long have you pretended to be a liberal and being in comedy? No, I do. I am liberal. I do vote. You voted for Obama? What? Look vanity in the eyes and say you voted for Obama. I did. I voted for Obama.

Yeah? I did. You did? Trump 2020. Wei Shaoqing. Yeah. Character piece. A, I did. You did? Trump 2020. Yeah, character piece. A lot of 14. I had a great birthday. So yeah, last year my wife took me to, she wasn't my wife last year. By the way, can I just real quick, just

quick shout out to Mrs. Pompous. She does, she like goes above and beyond on like everything for birthdays, for the Instagram, like the shout out she gave you was so dope. And then she even shouted us out today on my birthday she shouted me out as your other husband yeah she shouted you out she gave you a happy birthday mrs poppins is a fucking classic mrs poppins is fucking grade one she's a great one she's great one and you just want to stay on her good side not her bad side that's the thing with Mrs. Pappas is if you make just one mistake, you're

fucking done. Yeah, but I haven't made any, so I'm good. Yeah, no, no, you're good. Well, you're fucking, you know, it's your wife. Yeah, so she took me to Scarpetta last year. And that was like, I mean, it was a mind blowing experience. And this year she took me to Babo. I've never heard of Babo,

but the food looked good from what you guys were posting. Yeah, it's Mario Batali's restaurant, isn't it? He's an FF bad, right? He's a... Isn't he an FF? He likes to sexually harass women, I think. Yeah, that's an FF. Yeah, he's an FF. Yeah, he has some charges on him. I don't know if he did it or anything. I think it's an accusation.

Where is Bobbo? Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm talking about. Is it in Midtown or is it downtown? He's Bobbo, right? Yes. Yeah. So it's right here. It's close to here. Oh don't know what I'm talking about. Is it in Midtown or is it downtown? He's Bobo, right? Yes. Yeah. So it's, it's, it's down. It's right here. It's close to here. Oh, it's in the West village.

Yeah. It's in the West village. Just take the hat off. And does he have any sexual harassment shit? Thank you, Mike. He had a me too situation. Yeah. He got out of it though. He squiggled out of it.

I think so. It was like workplace harassment. It happens. Yeah. I mean, but yeah, it was good. I, it was really good. The food was amazing. Service was amazing. It was, it was good it was really good the food was amazing service was amazing it was it was a place I really wanted to go

to so you want you but I gotta say Scarpetta over bubble yeah yeah did Mrs. Pappas feel the same yes Scarpetta is fucking mind-blowing there's a reason why it's been around so long it's still number one it's the if you want pasta you can't beat Scarpetta where is Scarpetta

Scarpetta's in the 30s. Between Park and... El Molino is really good too in New York. El Molino is real good. The original spot. The original. Well, right next to Anderson Cooper's house. V, what's your favorite?

I'm just getting hungry. Just like... Yeah, what's your favorite food? What's your favorite restaurant? My favorite food is actually Italian. But I haven't been back in a minute to go out and see a place. You've been eating Greek food for a long time. I'm ready to stop eating the Greek salad.

How good is Greek food in Greece though? I ate so much feta this summer. But you didn't gain, do you feel like? I feel like I gained a lot of weight. Really? Because you look great. I'm tan, that's why. Did you work out at all out there or no? Yeah, I did a little bit with my old trainer over there.

I was like, I do TRX when I'm there, but not. Okay. Did you go with your family? Swimming a lot? No, I went by myself. The company I work for has offices around the world. So I was over there and I was also there for my friend's weddings. Everybody got married this summer.

So where do you stay? Do you have a home there? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, so you were staying in your home. Yeah. Here's. Everybody got married this summer. So where do you stay? Do you have a home there? Yeah. Oh, so you were staying in your home. Yeah. Here's what you got to know about. I didn't know that. Well, Greeks are all kind of like they're connected. They stay connected to Greece.

So it's like for one month out of the year, most Greeks go to Greece. I didn't intend to stay that long, but that's how it usually is. Am I wrong? So what's the longest time you've been not like just been in the US? Have you ever went like five years without going to Greece? You always go one year without going to Greece. You always

go to Greece. Every summer. Grandma lives over there. Yeah, I live there. So the summers you very rarely are in New York. You're always in Greece for the summer. I've been in New York maybe my whole life three summers. Wow. Yeah. I like the summers in New York. They're fun. Yeah. It's just like it's been so you're very used to just being out of New York made my whole life three summers. Wow. Yeah. I, I like the summers in New York. They're fun.

It's just like, it's been, Oh, so you're very used to just being out of New York for two, three months. That's like a thing that happens. So normal. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. I couldn't do it. I'm anxiety. Yeah. That's why I fucking got up and left England. Yeah. And we didn't get that awesome footage of the tour.

No, but we got the email up on patrion.com slash Bay Ridge boys. Yeah. I didn't, should we have put that up? We put up the email. We got the email up on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Should we have put that up? We put up the email you actually, the lying email you put. We already said it. We said it all on the podcast. I just lie to people and then I out myself on the podcast the next day. It's just what it is.

It's just what it is. You've been fucking dying. Even though this is our birthday, we got Venetia back. It's Mike's birthday too. Should we take Mike out for a piece of cake yeah the thing is I gotta get back to the baby pretty much right away but if we isn't more cupcakes coming yeah they better

bring some we just fucking what do you want to do you want to just yeah I say we just eat it here and just let Mike deal with the heat from comedy so well well no because it's not it's it's not their big they're being sat downstairs it's not him it's it's Liz you don't want're being sat downstairs. It's not him. It's Liz. You don't want to fuck with Liz. Yeah. Okay.

So we'll just eat it downstairs. But we're going to smear it on... Mike, do you want to put it on your body? Can we smear it on you? It's your birthday, cuz. Yeah, it's your birthday. I didn't shave my chest, but go ahead. Whatever your wishes are. How old are you, Mikey, by the way? I'm 41. 41. It's a good age. Welcome

to the fucking 40s. What are you, Yanni? 44. 44. I turned 44. How old are you, Vinny? To your 20s? I'm 27. 27. Good age. 27. I would say 27, 28, probably the best. Best. I'm 35. I'm in my mid-30s now. You guys all look really great for your ages.

Yeah, I mean, you're lying to Mike, but that's okay. No, I'm not. I said when I saw him today, I said, yo, you look so nice today. He looks good compared to last week. Mike's heart is a rock. Did you see the fucking pictures of Mike from high school? Peace. Can you show that to Benetia?

Can we pull that up on the screen, Mikey, or no? They're not on Instagram. I mean, Mike was a Mexican peace. Everybody in San Antonio is a piece in high school. Cuz, throw up that picture so I can get out my peace guns and shoot you the fuck down. Shoot you the fuck down, cuz.

You're a cute kid. Yeah. You were a cute San Antonio kid, and like we said, until you discovered barbecue, and it was a wrap. Cuzzy, then that kid ate the good-looking Mike. I want to talk. Can we just talk about the Hessians or do you want to read the Patreon names? Let's read the Patreon names. Let's get to our business first.

We also got some advertisements. Let me just do it. Or did we do that already? I just want people to fucking listen. We did the new ads? We still have to do the reads. People are listening no matter what. At this point they're committed cuz. Okay but just real quick it's just the Hessians. If you don't know what they are they're a German mercenary force. So I'm a German kid so I'm

really excited yeah you've been fucking my people I think because it's just this whole fucking time I've just saw all revolutionary war because I love it so much and I always think about being a colonial I'm like I would have been a colonial would have fought for George Washington but now more and more I'm like I want to fucking snuggle into that red coat and I want to be a Hessian more than I wanted to be a patriot what we're going to do is this is going to be a birthday episode and then we're going to talk about the than I wanted to be a patriot. What we're going to do is this is going to be a birthday episode. And then we're going to talk about the Hessians in the bonus. What?

That's what we're going to fucking do. Wow. Yeah. Guess what? Cause you're fucking screwed in. I'm screwed. You're screwed in fucking kit. How screwed am I?

Cause you should start coming in and draping the Israeli flag. Yeah. Cause you're fucking screwed in. I'm not playing games anymore. You're fucking screwed in. I'm not playing games with these people. Wow. So now if you want to hear about the Hessians, which we have, which Venetia did a lot of

research on. Thank you so much, V, for coming back with the research. And I know a lot of stuff about that because I've just been watching Revolutionary War documentaries and listening to Whitney Houston inside the love sack. So I know a lot. But you're going to have to go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys because fucking Yanni Poppinsburg is screwed in. I'm screwed in.

You're screwed in, Jew kid kid and we're trying to make the money. I got to get a house for my wife. I got to get a lot of money. Can I say something? Yes. You know, if you aren't on the Patreon yet, I think that it'd be great if you can go now on iTunes and give a review to this podcast

because, you know, the reason why people don't maybe write a review is because they don't know what to say. It's a little overwhelming. Just write your favorite moment of this podcast or maybe just your favorite saying that the guys say. That would be the best. And that would be

a great birthday gift to all the guys here. Can someone just make a cartoon of Via's head? I want you to somebody listen. Whoever's out there listening we just, first of all, we got a new logo thank you ed gentile right let's shout him out it's an italian kid ed gentile yeah just shout him out make sure i got that name right uh mikey's ed gentile that made it yes yeah ed gentile thank you we need somebody to make a logo or a illustration of venetia's head as a screw. Cause she's screwed in.

Wow. She's like, make, I want it to be, I want it to be, yeah, like, like Venetia with a screw and on top of that screw a yarmulke on the screw. Screwed in. Yeah. Just make a fucking Venetia is screwed the fucking at all times. Yeah. Make it make the bottom of it a grape leaf up

to a screw head with a yarmulke on it. Cause she's screwed in Greek Jew. She's a screwed in Jew. Seriously. Go to iTunes. And even if you don't have iTunes, grab a friend's phone, just fucking write over. Yeah.

Yeah. Just yeah. Have a screw and just have a talk and just say mad love, mad love, mad love. I love dope, dope, dope,

dope, dope. Okay. I feel like we got to love that. These are the people who have went up, who have went up. So went into patreon.com slash bay rich boys and joined the matriarchy they're part of the family they're crossing the serengeti with

us and they're fucking ready to cackle for the rest of their lives these people are here for a good time not a long time so they've all been encouraged what we encourage you guys to do is when you go on patreon.com slash bay rich boys to join the matriarchy to think of a funny name because we love that so much and it's fun for the episode so most of you people did and it's just i'm gonna read them and we're gonna have a laugh okay so first up we have cody hoosier hunkadunk hillard okay hannah mccarthy she didn't want to participate she knew what but hannah mccarthy's just a white suburban school teacher that she turned her husband she's um yeah. She's Irish. Yeah. She's an Irish. Yeah.

Then we have Yanni's probably one of the favorite ones of all time. Reno, the horned up sauce monkey Coronetti. Yeah. Yeah. He, so he went up. He went up. He's in the hall of fame already.

His kids had a hall of fame. If you move up in value, we reread your name, I guess. Yeah. Okay. Then we got, then we got a Shawnee,

Sean Greenwood. So he's just, he's just a fucking local kid yeah then we got chrissy d hpv and me what it is wow this is a he's a dream team then we got steel pie parentheses half jew half fume steve wow this is another i mean we got a dream team. Then we got ask Pete. It's just his name. It's a good one, but he can't, he can't compete with the last three. We got Chicago,

Sean. Yeah. I like Chicago short. Then we got Janice for Rome. Just CEO. She's really good one. Yeah. Then we got,

um, then we got Gian Joe pay me back. I know you're listening. Good one. Then we got Andrew moon yeast infection. Another goodie. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got Danny Gallegos. Danny Gallegos. Then we got andrew moon yeast infection another goodie yeah yeah then we got danny gallegos danny gallegos then we got um jonah make no mistake i can't afford this and i got a small piece devito that he just took the number one spot you like that yeah he's wow he just he just

moved to the number one spot then we got patrick cabara then we got trey t you know i mean yeah i mean because our fans are just neighborhood kids. Yeah, neighborhood kids. Patrick Ibarra and Trey T. Then we got Robbie Pumpkin, Pumpkin Peace Pearl. Good one. Robbie Pumpkin Peace? Yeah. Pearl, he screwed in. Then we got

Alicia No Fumes Non-Toot Latte La Noche. That's a real good one. Love ya. Yeah. Then we got Rekha Nayar. Rekha Nayar. Sounds like a piece. That's a real good one. Love ya. Yeah. Then we got Rekha Nayar. Rekha Nayar. Sounds like a piece. That could be, is that an Eastern Hemi or that could be- Rekha Nayar sounds-

Sandra Dee. Rekha is a Sandra Dee. It's a Sandra Dee. Yeah. Then we got Chrissy, no more herpes. Yes, please, DiStefano. So some people are just naming their names Chrissy Stefano. Yeah.

Yeah, which is a 10. So some people are just naming their names. Chris Stefano. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a 10. Then, then the next one we got Patty fly your balls on my uvula and call me father bill.

Then we got Chuck, the sneaker Taylor ladder 24. Wow. That's a good. Yeah. Then we got Sandra ice, sorta ice Aziz. I don't know.

She did. She tried. She tried Sandra. Too complicated. Yeah. I like it.. She did. She tried. She tried Sandra. It's a little too complicated. Yeah. I like it. I love it. Then we got Jim Gill,

who just sounds like he's just, he's here for the content. The guys who just give their name. They're like, look guys, I don't want to play the games. I'm just here for the content for the content. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Then we got right wing lean for ladder 14. Now I mean, number one. Wow. Do it one more time. What was that right wing lean right wing lean falada 14 nah mean i think that might be the greatest of all time then we got caramelly peace jacob chestnut jacob chestnut jacob jacob you know these guys are the ones who just do their names yeah you remember in the old video stores,

there was a porn section in the back, like behind a curtain. Yeah. Like that private. The ones who just give their names are just the guys who just hold it, put their head down and just walk straight to the back.

Yeah. Yeah. Jacob Chesterton has a shirt tucked in. He's got a shirt tucked in. He's got his head down. He's just walking back for the content. Then we got, this is Chris's Nero.

Oh, this one. This guy's name is. How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that take? How long did that takeero i oh this one this guy's i mean how long did that take this guy's this guy's patreon name is chris's nero i am sporus kids my fucking yo that kid's here for a good time not a long time yeah that kid went way back yeah fucking sporus is what no nero was wild episode sporus was his eunuch yeah um then we got the next one up. My kids are 18, so no more situation with the mother.

Good one. Then we got Laura Dees piece. Wanda Gutierrez. I feel like she's been around Dees piece. Laura Dees. Oh, sorry. It's just Laura Dees.

I added piece. You added piece. That's another Patreon member. Then we got Wanda Gutierrez. Que pasa mi gente. Then we got Pa Pa Pa Pa pushing the gay down.

I mean. 10. How good is that? Next up, we got G the gay down I mean 10 how good is that next up we got Gino makes pizza wait pushing the gay down is a good pushing the gay down Gino makes pizza Gino makes pizza that's a curveball that comes out of nowhere that's hilarious Gino makes pizza

then we got Amber Simpson Amber Simpson's just here for the content. Then we got Lauren Q2 Thomas. Hi, Q2. She's cute. Yeah, she's cute. Victor S. Johnson II.

That's funny. Then we got Rodman. Definitely not a Leroy, but have a piece like Juan Lopez. Holy shit. Because our fans are funnier than we are. Our fans are...

We can't possibly be as funny without our fans. Our fans make us so funny. It's not even funny. Yeah, they're funny kids. I take some of the things our fans say and just say them in my stand up. Yeah. I just fucking steal from my fans. Yeah. Colin Herring sounds like a

fucking white judge. The kid's here for the content. Joey Trapani. Joey Trapani's here for the content, but his name sounds like he tried to make it funny. Noel Chemlecki here for the content. Yeah, he's here for the content. Joey Trapani. Joey Trapani's here for the content, but his name sounds like he tried to make it funny. Noel Chemlecki, here for the content. Yeah, he's here for the content. Brian Renz. Brian Renz is walking straight back to the porno section. Yeah, so they're walking straight back.

Yeah, they're walking straight back. Well, say, if you don't put a name down, we're just going to say Brian Renz, you're walking straight back. You're walking straight back. Those guys are walking straight back. Then we got Cynthia. Chrissy can use my uvula as a bunch and bag Flores.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's what it is. Then one word,. Then one, one word DJ. Okay. Now we got, now we got this one. Pseudo penis,

Chrissy Teigen. All right. Yeah. People just, then we got Zach. Fuck the wall. Drop a nuke. I want to see a Mexican anime.

Wow. Yeah. He leaned into that one. Yeah. Then we got stone cold Cold FF Steve Austin. That one actually got me. Yeah, you Stone Cold FF Steve Austin. Then we got Harry got a situation with the last name Pappas.

That's a goodie. Yeah. Then we got Jen piece of German puss, puss, Coakley. Because Stone Cold FF Steve Austin. It's got to be good, yeah. Then we got Joe Papaladaro. He's walking

back. He's walking straight back. But that's a funny name, though. If you have a funny, if your last name is just real Italian like that, you don't even have to make a name. We're just going to laugh at it. Like Joe Papaladaro is hilarious. Every last name is just inherently funny like that you don't even have to make a name we're just gonna laugh at it yeah like joe papaladaro is hilarious every last name is just in inherently funny oh it's joe papalardo sorry i think greek names are like that too greek names and italian names are funny then we got erin j she's walking straight she's walking straight back then we got hailey went from leprechaun to nazi after ancestry dna results. That's like you. Yeah. That's what you did. This guy's

name is Chrissy Claw Stumps. Then we got Derek. Now I mean, he's walking straight back. Greg, walking straight back. Straight back to the section. Then we got Chrissy Cracks and Cleans. Yeah. With K's. It's all K's too. So it's three K's. So it's KKK.

Yeah, that one got better to you. Yeah. Emily Johnson. She's walking straight back. She's's three Ks. So it's KKK. Yeah, that one got better tier. Yeah. Emily Johnson. She's walking straight back. She's walking straight back. She's here for the content. Uncle Nicky. Uncle Nicky's trying to have a good time. Funny guy. Then we got Yanni Browse went down, get him a water. Yeah, it's a goodie. Uncle Nicky, you don't want your kid sitting in his laptop. Yeah.

Harrison Tompkins. Not mean. Walk straight back. Walk straight back for content. John Snow Monkey, sorry, not swarthy. Ruzica. I can't believe how fucking funny these are. Yeah. Aaron, I can't get hard unless you suck my pseudo penis, babe. Alvarez.

Good one. Good one. Leanne Esposito. That's my wife. She'll get disciplined. Yeah, yeah. Esposito is a fucking real sauce. That's an Italian last name.

That's about as sauce mug as you can get. Yeah. That name comes with garlic. Garlic, yeah. Then this next guy is just probably a neighborhood guy, Stevie Bananas. Stevie Bananas. And this guy's name is Joe Frazier.

Joe Frazier, yeah. He's here for the content. Then we got Ian OG TBG Dees Peace Police Friedman. Yeah, 10. And he's screwed in Friedman. Wow, yeah. Those kids are here for a good time, not a long time.. Yeah. This kid's those kids are here for a good time. Not a long time.

If you fucking play this game, you're here for a good time. Not a long time. Fuck it. Yeah. These peace police is a 10. Yeah. Then we got Mike. One name.

He's walking back. Yeah. Not me too. Yeah. Then we got dunk doctor dumping pump and pee inside you. Yeah. 10. Kim.

I'm a little upset because Chrissy D hates doing the podcast. Carney. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got just a girl from Woodside, Queens, Tara Fitzpatrick. Yeah. Ten. Kim, I'm a little upset because Chrissy D hates doing the podcast carny. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got just a girl from Woodside, Queens, Tara Fitzpatrick. Yeah. She's on the 7 train right now. She's a school teacher.

Yeah, she's a school teacher and she's just here for the content. Then we got Mikey. I got a situation with Chris's mother now, Curtis. Okay, this guy's cleaning out my ex. And he's not mean. Curtis. Last name Curtis. I mean, it's a black kid.

Yeah. I guess I'll see you at the fucking next birthday party yeah then we got um but she dumps them quick though your mom yeah she's with him for a little while and then she dumps them then they're out yeah the kids don't see it coming but they're out yeah yeah um then we got Mike oh yeah then we got Cameron Weekend Chubb Greeson

good one and then last James Donahue is walking back yeah James Donahue is walking straight back so those are I mean it just every week we do what they just get yeah they get we're like oh that's the best one and then we go by like no that has to be the best one well we have to do this draft we have to do get to these there's so many it's overwhelming fucking do draft picks and we have to just have them do tasks and compete more than a draft we gotta get these funny guys competing against each other but the draft now

it's not it can't be five and five. Like now we have to draft it like the NBA. Like there has to be 30 picks and two rounds. Yeah. Like you have to, like we have to make fantasy

actual teams. There's too many people now. Yeah, I know. You can't pick five. So this is how we do it. This is how we do it. Okay, check this out. Okay.

V, I'm fucking screwed in. I know. I see. How about this? We do tasks, right? We give, we give them all tasks and we just put the task up on the Patreon and

then we start grading them. They start getting in, you know, like tennis players rank number one, rank number two. We start ranking them based on how we judge who did the funniest thing. So that way we don't have to keep track. We don't have to have teams. They just start ranking.

So it's the first task, someone to make Vanity's head of screw? I liked when Lisa Johnson used our catchphrases in public. I mean, do you remember that video she made? The thing is with Lisa Johnson is she's one of those, like, she's so good and so important to this podcast.

She's not even draftable. Actually, she can help us draft. Lisa Johnson could be on the committee of people. She can help us draft. Yeah. Because she's just, Lisa Johnson is an untouchable. Lisa Johnson is. She's an untouchable.

She's basically, she's kind of almost like a Patreon producer at this point. Lisa Johnson is untouchable. And if she ever doesn't get married, she's going to get cracked open. Yeah, she's just what it is. You're going to punch her through. I'm just going to punch you through. Yeah. So that's what we'll do

on the Patreon. We will start coming up with tasks and questions or things we want to see that are funny. And then we're just going to start ranking. We're just going to start giving points away. Venetia, do you like this idea? It's a great idea. If Venetia approves, I want everybody to go through

Venetia though. Yeah, because we can both have a genius big brain. So she knows the genius. Yeah. It's smart. I like this idea. If Venetia approves, I want everyone to go through Venetia, though. Yeah, because we have a genius big brain. So she knows the genius. Yeah. It's smart. I like this idea. Like, if they do very well, certain tasks will have, will give, like, maybe t-shirts or, like, mugs away. Perfect. See, that's what I'm

saying. That's why we need Venetia's brain needs to be involved. Because... Oh, by the way, real quick, also shout out, congrats to Yana's special being released. Yeah's being released in 13 second intervals so but you have to follow me to all the clips follow my and i'm not as poppers and the clips are hilarious yeah i'm not fighting the way it's happening it's just because everyone keeps emailing me where can i see where can i see it and schultz just tells them to says just tell them to follow you so okay but let me ask you this.

Yeah. So will there ever be a time when we can watch it in full for an hour? When all the clips are up and how long is that going to take? However long it takes till there's nothing dry. I'm just following my Fuhrer Andrew Schultz. Yeah. You got to follow him into the fourth rack. Yeah.

Well, no, trust me. I saw that kid. I saw that kid in Chicago. He's fucking screwed in. The kid's fucking screwed in. Yeah. He made a video. His latest fashion video is like stage diving. I mean, the kid's fucking screwed in. Yeah. He made a video. His latest fashion video is like stage diving.

I mean, the kid is just. And he just sold out Town Hall in New York City. Oh, yeah. He sold it out. He sold it out already. Oh, yeah. I believe it. Look, I really appreciate what he's done because he really went out of his way to help me.

Yeah. Which is real nice. And I also thank you to Bill Burr for posting on his Instagram. Oh, that's huge. I think most of the followers I got was from Burr posting the trailer over there. So Burr's going to come on our podcast in September. Wow, that's going to be huge. He's got a new special coming out, Paper Tiger, on Netflix.

We get Bill Burr. That's big. He's going to come. Yeah. And check out his Netflix on September 10th. Everyone's going to be watching that shit. Yeah. But Schultz, it came out great.

It looks great. It's shot great. Schultz is just a screwed in, thorough, hilarious kid who's on top of the new world. And it's also very giving with it, which is a new thing that New York needs to really start adapting. Because, listen, comedians don't need to hoard. It's actually counterintuitive to hoard. Yes, because your fans are going to get sick of you at some point. Yeah. No matter how funny you are, they just get sick of you. So if you put them on to your friend, they go watch your friend for a little while and then they come back to you. Every ticket, everybody nowadays, it's like they'll either you're the one like Andrew Schultz or they've heard you because like from somebody else's podcast. So how many people in my shows and I'm sure your shows are like,

they started listening to us and now they are our fans because of somebody else. So the more we give, and then we've given, we've broken people too. We've get people have been like, you know, listen, comedy is not like music music. People come back and back and back and back to hear the same fucking song. You can't hear the same joke or the same voice, the same person to it. You just get sick of it. No matter how good it is. Even like Chappelle's like,

you know, he's smart. Cause he waits a long time. Cause he makes you wait for it. You can't just keep coming. You know, it's like, you got to go somewhere else.

And that's why LA has done it right with the podcast. Cause they're all sharing fans. So people just listen. I listen to this one this week, listen to that one. You know, you just fucking move around. Right.

V. Yeah, exactly. As a, as a fan too. Cause you're on the other side of it, right? Do you feel yourself kind of getting sick of sometimes same comics, then you want to go hear something different and then come back? I mean, that's how you hear about other comics. It's exactly what you

said. It's like, you know, oh, you like what I'm doing. Just you should listen to this person there. They have the same thing going and then you just continue. It's a domino effect exploring and discovering. How did you first hear about us through Giannis' Sergio? Sergio. She didn't even know who Mr. Panos was. I did.

Oh, you didn't know? No, I knew like ages ago when he said. Because if there was more than one million Greeks in this country, I'd be as big as Aziz Ansari. You'd be huge. But not only are there no Greeks, they also just don't like Mr. Panos. I think Mr. Panos is hilarious. I think it's the younger ones though.

Yeah, through Sergio. And then through you about your Instagram. So you knew Panos and then you were training with Sergio. And then he was like, oh, yo, you're Greek? Oh, I know like one of my friends is Greek. And you're like, who the fuck's that? And then he was like, Giannis. And you're like, oh, that's Mr. Panos?

And then I started following you and I was like listening to this. And I fell in love with this podcast. Because you started listening when you were in Greece and it reminded you of New York. Yeah, I really. I was also listening to when I was in Greece right now. I missed you guys. We miss you too. And you know what you do for us?

That's really great. You always let us know if we have to cackle something. Yeah. Veneti is really good. She knows. Because if she's okay with it, like she's like a hip open-minded, like you know, culturally diverse New Yorker. If she says it's okay, then it's okay. If she goes like, I think you guys didn't go

too far, I feel confident. But if she goes, yeah, word, I think you guys should really word, like that would be cool if you cackled that. We gotta c cackle yeah yeah because she knows i've been good about yeah and when she said you guys have been good she looked right at you yeah yeah yeah it's just what it is you're the if we had an actual cackle if we were in the cackle together yeah yeah i'd be the trans i'd be the trans hyena yeah and you'd be the wild one that constantly needed to be disciplined. Yeah. Yeah. And we'd both get beat up by the

fucking queen matriarchy. Yeah, it's just, yeah, we both, she both. We're both out of line. Yeah, Vanity out because she's queen matriarchy. She'd both be looking for reasons to kill us, but she can't. She can't. Because she loves us, but she wants us out. Yeah, I mean, she needs us in the cackle because we need to work as a group to steal these leopard kills. Yeah. All right, well, are you for legalized

gambling? I'm for legalized gambling? I'm for legalized gambling. I'm for legalized prostitution. I'm for the wall. Wait, yeah. All right. We're going to do the Hessians on our Patreon episode. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys to learn all about the Hessians

and their significance in the American Revolution. It's actually fucking wild. The Hessians are fucking wild. That's all I have to say. You're going to really want to listen. Yeah, listen to and we have a new bonus episode every week. Every week. So if you look, I'm just going to give you, can I just give them the

because look, our dedicated people are going to stay with us on the Patreon. But if you're a fucking, we got to get another expression for someone who's in between a non-toot and a toot. Okay, what do you want to get another expression for someone who's in between a non toot and a toot. Okay. What do you want to call it?

Who those people are? No, those are the people who sign up, binge all the content and then leave. Yeah. And I can't hate that hustle. Okay. That hustle exists too.

Right. Okay. So you pay us for one month and then you break out, whatever it is, whichever kind of level of person you are, there's a lot of content for you to binge that from like, what are we, a year and a half old now at this point? A year and a couple months? We've got real ad reads

now. We got fucking real celebrities putting our gear on. This pod, you're going to want to get in now because I'm telling you and I'm not ever the guy that's like, I killed on stage or I fucking hate that egotistical bullshit that our peers do, but I'm telling you, I have a real feeling in my heart that this is going to be a humongous

podcast. So you want to get in on it now on the ground floor because the prices are going up. The prices are going up because we're screwed in. So and we appreciate each and every one of you who's over at Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge Boys, because, look, we need a staff. We got production costs. You guys are producers. We don't got to give blowies to Harvey Weinstein

anymore. But I will do it. We will do it. We're not above not doing it. But happy birthday to you, Chris. Thank you so much. Now listen, that's the end of this episode. Happy birthday to Mike Suarez, a.k.a. Mikey Mush. Mikey Mojiface, happy birthday. Belated birthday to you, Giannis Pappas. Happy birthday to

me and happy welcome back day to Venetia, babe. Yeah, welcome back, babe. Welcome back. All right. Go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to hear the rest of this episode. Oh, and go to historyhyenas.com Wow, we got merch. Historyhyenas.com to get all our merch. Listen, all our stuff is on

historyhyenas.com. It is the ground zero for all your history hyena needs. Get all your History Hiena needs. Get all your mugs, your t-shirts, follow our hashtags, all our links, the YouTube page.

Yep. Subscribe to HistoryHienas.com. Go to GiannisPapas.com or.net? Just go to HistoryHienas.com because then you can follow us any. I'm GiannisPapasComedy.com but you can find me or Chris, our personal stuff.

Just go to HistoryHienas.com for all your needs. Perfect. That are Chris and Giannis and also Cackle Cackle. Cackle. Punch you through. Later, I'll punch you through. ស្រូវតែលាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវតែលារបស់ពីប្រូវត�