History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 87 - History of Yaaas!
Episode Date: September 15, 2019The Cuzzies do a lot of catching up and go over the brief history of the phrase “Yaaaas!” Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things ge...t really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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What's up, cuzzy wuzzies?
You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas.
Bad.
And also, guys, go check out my special.
It's up everywhere on YouTube, Blowing the Light.
Andrew Schultz told me I'm doing it wrong, but I just had enough and I put it up.
It's what it is.
So go check it out on YouTube.
It's on our History Hyenas channel.
So go to History Hyenas on YouTube to watch the full hour special, Blowing the Light.
Yeah. yes welcome to another episode of the history hyenas let's all um get it out we've been
waiting to get it out let's get it out on three let's get the gay out. We've been waiting to get it out. Let's get it out on three. Let's get the gay out.
Everybody with me.
One, two, three.
Yeah.
Fuck.
It's not enough.
There's still I'm still gay.
I can't sit back.
No, I'm going to have to blow your sit your lap.
Get it out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to hear aces do it because he's a rapper.
Yeah.
I hit the low.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has to worry about his street cut because he's got
fucking switchblades and brass knuckles for sale he was just telling us a story about how
uh a member of his family drank four red bulls and two coffees on their uh drive to south carolina
had a seizure yeah that's kind of like what happened to me on my way to atlantic city but
i shit my pants it's why you drank too much cough i had two coughs from the the, from the, from the Eastern Hemis from the Eastern Hemis.
Yeah.
We just talk different when we're on air.
Yeah.
Also know that.
No,
you don't even need a wage on.
Cause I think I covered it with a no,
with a no.
Yeah.
Cause look,
you're just an explosive,
you know,
you're an,
you're a human IED because he's a human IED.
Cause there's just no other way to say it.
I can't hide anymore.
The Eastern Hemis are the enemy to me
Yo
I'm just kidding
Mike
Is that
He's a human IED
Yeah
He's a human
You know what an IED is Cuz?
An improvised explosive device
That's what you are
Yeah
I'm just a kid
Minding my own business
Fucking going down the street
In a Toyota Corolla
And you just never know
When there's gonna be an explosive You have to drive your wife's car to work today because your car was blocked in by construction
it really was cousin you didn't know where your wife's car is because you will you're you're gonna
your body's gonna make it to 60 but your brain's gonna make it to 50 yeah that's just how Greeks
do it yeah it's funny because the Greek body holds on but the mind just gives it just gives yeah
because there's because there's too much stressful thinking you think about two you think about things too deeply and you're using too much
of your mind yeah well here's the difference to me and you we just figured it out yeah it's funny
that we we do comedy together and that we have this podcast because we're from two sides of
europe you're from the top where guys don't stress that much but guys are evil and then we're you're
from i'm from the south where guys think way too much yeah but guys are evil and then we're you're from i'm from the
south where guys think way too much yeah but we're good and we're good kids yeah so it's so it's like
what do you want the greeks to know the greeks don't want to clean anyone the greek you walk
around going you know what i want to clean that's a good point the greeks never really invade they're
always being invaded on the greeks didn't really care about taking more territory, right?
That's an interesting thing. I just thought about that.
Well, except for Alexander the Great.
He was great. We got to do
an episode on Alex because
he was a straight kid and a gay kid just
like us. If you're a kid that can watch
Colin Farrell's Alexander the Great movie
and not get a little pyoing, you're a weird
kid.
Because his acting in that is so bad.
Yeah, it's brutes.
Yeah, you just look.
Oliver Stone.
He bangs out Rosario Dawson.
Yeah, and then he bangs out his friend who's a guy.
Yeah, that's what it is.
That's what he does.
Back then, guys were straight and gay.
They didn't have to get the gay.
They kept the gay in.
Yeah.
Yeah, they didn't have to get it out.
That's just what it is.
Yeah, back then it was wild because kids were a little bit of, kids swing both ways. Yeah. Yeah. It's't have to get it out. Just what it is. Yeah. Back then it was wild. Cause kids were a little bit of kids swing both ways.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a nice world to be in.
It would have been an easier world for me to navigate in.
I have a date with a two tonight to have sushi at eight.
I want to cancel it,
but she's a piece.
Yeah.
That's just your life story.
Yeah.
I just want to,
should I just cancel it?
Cause it does.
Can I just,
can you just cancel it?
Cancel it on the cast live and then we'll just cackle it out?
We'll put it on the Patreon right in the middle.
Just do it live on speakerphone, babe. $25 for
the incense. Yeah, we'll do it.
She's smoking though.
And I kind of don't want to cancel it.
Just take a look at her. Let me take a look.
Should I cancel it or what? She's also
German. It doesn't matter because all
these dates are just you hiding the fact that you're a gay
kid. So it doesn't matter. She's also German. Let doesn't matter because all these dates are just you hide the fact that you're a gay kid. So it doesn't matter. She's also
German. Let me see.
This girl right
here? Yeah.
I mean, fumes or no fumes?
Because you know what's funny about when you
hand me pics of girls you
have dates with? Yeah. It's a true spin the
wheel scenario. Right. You could, I've
seen a lot of things come in front of my eyes that
way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the hottest of the hot and just we both go, is that a guy? scenario right you could i've seen a lot of things come in front of my eyes that way yeah yeah i mean
the hottest of the hot and just we both go is that a guy yeah what do you think because i mean
you know i'm a married kid so yeah you know we got to save our cackles from from when your voice
starts yeah because i'm just gonna say you know what this she's she looks like a nice person she
looks like a nice person yeah She looks like a nice person.
All right, Mush, what do you think? But I think
you should cancel it right now
on the speaker for the 25s.
Because the 25s, we're not
in legal trouble with the 25s. The 25s,
if you are
a member of our Patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge Boys at the 25s.
Mike said he'd
eat sushi. He'd eat sushi out of her asshole.
Yeah.
I mean, what do you want me to do here?
Yeah.
Is that on the camera?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We can't cackle the fucking visuals, Chrissy.
We got to block that out.
Yeah.
Can we throw cackles over visuals?
No.
It wasn't on the camera.
It wasn't on the camera.
Oh, she's a peas.
Yeah.
Because think about it.
If you cancel it, it'll be good promo for patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys.
And it's at the $25 level.
If you did a speaker call right now and canceled the swoosh and said something funny.
Yeah, I know.
But then you could call her back and say, hey, I was just kidding, babe.
No, I just I don't know if I want to cancel yet.
Yeah.
All right.
Fine.
If I want to cancel by the end of the potty i'll do it yeah
we'll see what's going on how was your morning so far my morning so far well i woke up at 5 30 a.m
yeah i because uh the baby you know we hung out last night and then me the baby fell asleep at
9 p.m i fell asleep with her and i woke up at 5 15 p.m i watched that show the vikings i jerked
off a little bit while she was asleep um she woke up at seven she's just got a wild dad yeah she's
got a wild dad because you watch she's got a wild dad.
She's got a wild dad.
Because you watch that show, The Vikings,
and you watch the guy that plays Ragnar Lothbrok.
I mean, the guy's a fucking piece.
He's got a nice lap.
Episode two, he takes his shirt off, and then that was it.
The love sack got a...
I fucking glued down the love sack.
So you're saying he's got a nice lap.
He's got a nice Viking lap.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I want to fucking...
Because make no...
The Vikings would have been confused, because if they would have come and raided my land
i would have been welcoming them with open arms trying to suck their dick they were i would
because you apparently you didn't get all the gay out before yeah i gotta get it out yeah you
gotta get it out somehow but so i woke up yeah so i woke up watched the vikings got got the baby
ready uh dropped her off at her school and her new teacher's a piece so dropped her off there somehow. But so I woke up. Yeah. So I woke up, watched the Vikings, got the baby ready,
dropped her off at her school and her new teacher
is a piece. So I dropped her off there. I said
hello to them. Then I worked at a badass
academy with Anthony. We fucking
worked out hard. Then I ate an acai
bowl. And then I
called you. I got an egg whites
and avocado on a broche bun from PS69
Deli. When's the last time you think
Anthony's been to the city?
Antony?
It's a good day when Antony goes to the city.
He doesn't go to the city that much.
Antony, every day, as Barbara's told me this,
this is a true thing,
every Tuesday morning at 11 a.m., Antony gets a haircut.
He does it every week.
Every week he gets a haircut.
Once a week, he said he always knows.
He said he can't remember the last time Antony
has to come in on Tuesday at 11 a.m.
The spot's always open.
It's his spot.
Because his cut is always fresh.
Yeah.
I mean, he's an Italian, Italian Bay Ridge kid who loves Bay Ridge.
Yeah.
Who, when he looks at the Hudson River, Tim.
Yeah.
It looks like an ocean.
That's the ocean.
He sees Manhattan over there.
That's another country.
Yeah.
He sends his kids.
He walks down with his kid.
He says, listen, this is, this is, this is the Atlantic Ocean.
This, he says, feast your eyes on the Atlantic Ocean. He says, feast your eyes on the Atlantic Ocean.
Right on the other side of that is Italy.
Yeah, the city's far
away for a kid like that. I mean, he's an Italian
fucking kid from Brooklyn. Because you think kids like that
just think across any water is Italy?
I think, yeah. Like from Bay Ridge, it's
just Italy's on the other side? They go over there, that's
yeah, you're talking, that's Europe over there. Yeah,
do you think they know Italy's
in Europe? Or do you think they just think Italy's a thing? Like, they don't know the other countries, like it's just Italy over there. Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Do you think they know Italy's in Europe? Or do you think they just think Italy's a thing?
Like, they don't know the other countries.
Like, it's just Italy over there.
I think a lot of them just think it's Italy over there.
It's just Italy, and then you got the Middle East.
I think they think the Greek kids live in Italy.
I think they think Italy's over there, and over there, everyone's got one Greek friend
in Italy.
In Italy, yeah.
Everyone's got one Greek.
It's Nico the Greek.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
Because my daughter yesterday said she has a boyfriend named Nico.
Yeah, your daughter,
first of all.
So me and Chrissy
shout out to
one of our favorite
Salty Dog.
Yeah, one of our favorite
the Salty Dog.
And make no mistake,
they put a little bit
too much salt
in the chicken tenders.
They put...
I mean, so yeah.
It's just what it is.
Because yesterday
the Salty Dog
came true on my food.
Yeah, they lived up to the name
and make no mistake,
Mrs. Pappas
was ready to send it back. She was ready to send it back.
I said, no, I just want to eat. I don't want to make a scene
because the waiter was upset because Chris was making videos
of it. Yeah, but Mrs. Pappas was ready for war.
Yeah, but that guy said, you guys want to see a BLS?
Yeah, he said, you want to see a BLS? He said
B-E-E-U-H. You want a BLS?
And I said, yeah, you're a Brooklyn
fucking kid. Yeah, if you want to go to a Brooklyn
bar, here's the thing. I'm talking
to all the thieves that are in the tri-state area. Yeah. If you want to go to a Brooklyn bar, here's the thing. I'm talking to all the thieves that are in the tri-state area.
Yeah. If you want to try to hold up
a bar for, you don't want it to be salty.
No. Because every one of those
guys sitting in those seats is either a firefighter
or a cop. Yeah. That is a fucking
firefighter and cop bar. That's what it is.
Yeah. Even when I walked in, what's
that? He's the guy that retired firefighter. Billy Mack.
Yeah, Billy Mack. He goes, where's Chrissy?
I said, he's over there with the baby.
B-A-B-I.
Yeah.
And then he said, and then he said, and then when I walked with the baby, I heard him turn
around.
He goes, everybody watched your language.
It's a baby.
Yeah.
I mean, those kids, you know, football's going on.
I mean, the Jets were going on.
The Jets were going on.
The Jets lost.
And then the Giants got blown out.
I mean, I mean, New York football is just, it's tragic at this point.
It's brutal.
Also, if you want to just do like a study
on like, you know, like deep Brooklyn people,
then go to the Salty Dog and watch.
Go there specifically for a Jets game.
I mean, because you'll hear words
that haven't been used in a long time.
I mean, you will hear some shit that you're like, what?
Yeah, you'll go, wait, is this, is it?
It sounds like Chrissy on a hot August day
in there.
Yeah, especially when the
Jets lost by one at the buzzer. I mean,
it was just some things. You're going to hear some stuff.
No question.
Yeah. New York
football right now for the Jets and
Giants for the past couple years.
You have a better time watching Schindler's List.
Yeah. It's really bad. Yeah.
But you know what I did? You left first with
the baby because you had to wake up early. Yeah.
And then I finished. I ate another burger because I went
wild. I had a lot of brews last night.
Yeah. Did you have, because when I left you had
four. What did you get up to? I had six
brews. Ah, salty. Yeah, because
once you crest, first of all, I'm drinking
Yinglings. I'm an American kid and I love a
Yingling. Yeah. Shout out Redding Water Department.
Redding Water Department.
Yeah.
I immediately asked what German beers they have on tap.
You just said, do you have any German beers?
I was like, should I just get you a beer list?
You want a beer list?
He was like, you want a beer list?
You want a beer list?
Or can I start you guys with a couple of waters?
You want some waters?
Can I start you guys with some water? He's like, I don't know. I mean, a beer list? Or can I start you guys with a couple of waters? You want some waters? Can I start you guys with some water?
He's like, I don't know.
I mean, we got Budweiser's, we got Sam Adams, we got Yingling's, and we serve burgers.
That's it.
I don't know.
Is one of those German?
Yeah.
You just asked for a German beer.
So I got up to about six.
And then I just, I had to time it right because I wanted to sneak out of there and privately
watch tennis because I'm an FF.
Yeah, you're an FF. So I went home and i watched a sport i really care about which is
fucking table i would have loved for you to ask in the middle of salt and salt gifts if they could
turn one of the tvs onto tennis yeah and then i think they would probably just put on will and
grace or something they just that's the same to them i think what is that what yeah i think they
one of the guys would reach under the bar and pull out a pussy hat and just fucking pull it over my
head like the kid from the
fucking Bill Cosby cartoon. Yeah,
just put it right over your head. What was that kid's name who had the fucking hat
all the way down? Weird Harold. Cause
Mike, when you talk, it sounds like there's just water
in your mouth. There was right there.
Yeah. Mike just got off an airplane.
Did you really? Yeah. What are you,
Chrissy? Um, no.
I'm Wishmouth. I'm sorry, I was Wishmouth.
Weird Harold. Yeah, what were you coming from since? D Mushmouth. I'm sorry. It was Mushmouth. Weird Harold.
Yeah.
Where were you coming from since?
Dumb Donald.
I'm sorry.
I'm getting all the names wrong.
Oh, Dumb Donald?
Yeah.
Let me see Dumb Donald.
I've never seen any of these characters.
They look very racist, even though they're designed by Bill Cosby himself.
What cartoon was this?
Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.
I never saw Fat Albert. What? I never saw one episode of Fat Albert. You never? Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. I never saw Fat Albert. What?
I never saw one episode of Fat Albert.
You never saw Fat Albert?
No. No, I don't think I've known.
I've heard of it, but I don't know anything
about it. How many episodes did they have?
A lot? Tons. Yeah.
What channel was it on? Famous thing.
It was in the 70s. I saw it syndicated
in the 80s. Yeah, I saw it syndicated in the 80s.
But it was like a South Park kind of thing. Yeah, it was Bill Cosby. No, it was like saw it syndicated in the 80s. Yeah I saw it syndicated in the 80s but it was like a
South Park kind of thing. Yeah it was Bill Cosby
No it was like a Saturday morning cartoon. Saturday morning cartoon
Oh really? Yeah and Cosby did like all the voices
Oh yeah. Yeah I mean
you've got to admit he's a talented kid
Billy Cosby's a talented kid. He's a psychopath
Is he dead or is he alive? No he's in
court dealing with it. But is he in jail though?
Um
He's in jail. He's in jail yeah I mean he's close I mean the he's out on He's in jail. He's in jail. Yeah.
I mean, he's close.
I mean, the kid's on the runway. He's close. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean,
yeah.
We need to cackle there. Just can we put, we mark
that? Yeah. We have to mark that.
We have to mark that. He says, you got
that? Yeah, we got marked. I mean,
the kid just has no feel
yeah and we're back chrissy just trying to just make more drama for himself and i'm here to
protect him thank you cuz yeah you just need a kid to walk around with you like you need to walk
around with a condom of your body yeah yeah you're just what it is to protect the world from you
yeah yeah you can't just say honest things like that i know you know what i'm saying
but it's just the truth.
Yeah, because we can't walk around
just saying the truth all the time. Okay.
Yeah, we can't. Should I cancel the sushi date?
Yeah, if you could do it on air,
I'm for it. I can't.
Yeah, you can't because we put it for $25.
Why? You don't want to do sushi? No, I do. I don't know if I do or I don I can't. Yeah, you can't. Can we put it for $25? Why?
You don't want to do sushi?
No, I do.
I don't know if I do or I don't.
Cause you know, you know, you can't really feel too much, right?
Yeah.
I just don't want to, I got to go all the way back to Brooklyn after this.
Do you have the BAPI?
No, I got the BAPI.
You take it to Taekwondo.
Take the BAPI to Taekwondo and then come all the way back to, to downtown Manhattan for
8 PM.
It's a lot of going back and forth.
You got to do a set tonight.
No, I'm going out to dinner.
I don't have a set tonight.
Oh, you got.
Yeah.
I don't have a set.
Should I cancel this dumb fucking podcast?
I got to be on later.
I mean, that podcast did nothing for me.
Yeah.
Why am I doing it?
Yeah.
So we both got to be in a city at eight.
So why don't you cancel and just walk around with the baby B.A.B.
Iyani?
Walk around the city.
No, because I have to go back to Taekwondo.
Yeah, I don't want to miss the baby's Taekwondo.
That's why I have to leave at four.
Pick her up.
It's what it is.
She's in her class. You could hear that, right? Do we need to cackle?
Yeah, we need to cackle. All right, we're back.
Yeah, we're just going wild today.
This is one of those episodes where
we're plugging patreon.com
slash Bay Ridge boys constantly.
Our numbers are back up.
A lot of bonus content.
Join the matriarchy.
And we finally got our power rankings going.
Yes.
We all came together as a team.
And I've gotten a few comments.
Our fans are 10 out of 10 funny.
It's actually wild how you guys are just making us laugh on a consistent basis because I got
messages from one guy saying
that I'm a big FF because I got to take my glasses
on and off. He said just leave your glasses
on because when you take them off, it's shocking
how close your eyes are together. I agree.
Yeah. So
What are you reading? I'm reading our
power rankings. Oh, okay. Okay.
No, those are the new
Oh, don't we have a power? Have we done the power rankings yet?
No one gave me the...
Those are the new Patreon names. Do you want me to read those?
Those are the new Patreon names.
Okay, well... Do you want me to read those?
Because usually I read them and you laugh. Yes.
Because when you read them, I can't laugh. I'm dead inside.
Yeah, you are dead inside. I thought... Yeah, you truly
are a dead kid inside. Yeah, I can't laugh at anything.
And I can't feel. No. But I do want to go have...
The only thing that makes you giggle is Hitler speeches with subtitles.
It's what it is.
The guy said some funny things.
Yeah, when I come in and you're sitting in your underwear and you're giggling watching
those drinking a fucking German brew.
Yeah.
I feel like I got to call the authorities.
Because I'm not lying.
Every single time, like I have nothing to do and I'm just sitting there like perusing
on my phone.
I go to kayak.com and I just look up flights to Munich.
You want to go back, rightich you want to go back right i want to go back i
think about what you and me walking around munich yeah almost every day of my life do you remember
when we got the strudel and we sat in that back like that little restaurant like behind the
buildings and we got the little strudel with and i got a strudel and i snuck a chocolate milk yeah
and that girl wanted nothing to do with you yeah yeah that waitress well no that was austria yeah
that was so funny but how beautiful was that like do you want to do do you think Yeah. Yeah, that waitress? Well, no, that was Austria. Yeah, that was so funny. But how beautiful was that?
Do you think we'll ever do that again in our lives
or that's it?
We'll never see it again?
We can do that.
See, the bad part about being a comedian
is we have to kind of work 24 hours a day,
seven days a week,
and it's very stressful.
And I've realized that as I've gotten older.
There's a lot of stress that comes with this job.
Yeah.
Because we have to constantly make sure our careers-
We're never really off.
We're never off.
And while we're doing our job, we have to get a laugh every eight seconds or off. We're never off. And we, and while we're doing our job,
we have to get a laugh every eight seconds or so.
It's a lot of stress.
Yeah.
And especially when you're,
you're going through other stuff in your life,
you got to turn it off and make other people laugh.
But the plus side of what we do is we can truly do that whenever we want.
Yeah.
Like I love the fact that Ari just took four months.
Yeah.
After he got all that money from Comedy Central's show.
You know that, what was it?
The Story Show?
Yeah.
What's it called?
What's Ari's Story Show?
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
This is not happening.
He got paid for that, and then he did his double special.
He did the Netflix.
He got some cash.
He's got some cash, and he's also rich already from his podcast and his touring.
So he's a rich kid.
Ari's just a rich kid.
Yeah.
And he just said, I did those specials and now, you know, he tied his tubes, right?
Yeah.
So he can't have any kids.
Can't have any kids.
So he's got no glue.
Well, his glue don't work.
His glue don't work.
Yeah.
But the kid's living, he lives life, that kid, Ari.
Right.
When you look at his gram, that kid is living life.
Right.
And he went and he just went to Asia for four months
just to go do something.
See, that's not a place in the world that I care
to see, but I do want to go to Germany and the Scandinavian
Islands. That's what you want to see, yeah.
Wei Song Xie. Thank you very much. He's just
joking. I want to go there too,
actually. It's not Wei Song Xie. No, but he's
doing a character piece.
He told me he would first
love to go see Malaysia, number one. Yeah. Just because first he would love to see Malaysia number one.
Yeah.
Just because I don't want to see that part of the world
because it's a fucking enemy.
Does it mean?
I love when the choruses
come raining down when ISIS does the
chorus of Wei Zhongshan.
Yeah.
How did you get a chorus?
I found a bunch of different versions of that person saying way John shit.
And you put them together.
The fans want to bang out Zach.
I know.
Well, Zach is a good kid.
He's just not cropped up.
Right.
Yeah.
He looks like he just he looks like he's living outside sometimes.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
And his shirt.
Now his shirt's got too many words on it.
Just like his fingers.
Yeah.
You know what?
This is like I remember before Donald Rawlings had money when I i first met him yeah donald rawlings is a comedian before
chapelle show and all that right he used to just dress like you know he just dressed like a kid
without money right he had timbo boots on baggy jeans and like just a fake leather jacket that's
isis before he made yeah this is isis before he becomes a rap star yeah and like a couple years
he will have a chain on it Isis is going to make money.
Yeah.
Because Isis has no money right now.
Yeah.
He's make no mistake.
The kids side hustling, selling fucking brass knuckles.
Make no mistake.
I'll get double text from him.
Like, hey, you got to send me the you got to Venmo me the hundred dollars.
I can't eat without it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And the kids does keto.
So he needs to buy a lot of raw chicken.
Yeah.
All right.
Do you want me to read the newest Patreon members out?
Not yet.
I want you to do whatever
makes you fucking happy.
If that includes canceling the date,
I'm for it.
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
These are the newest members
of the matriarchy
who have taken the plunge
and joined the Patreon.
Went to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys
because you get so much more content.
They are so much more fun.
And we encourage you guys
to make up funny names.
And you guys,
looks like you've come through this week.
And wait one second. We have finally decided what we were going to do yes yes yes when we get to a
thousand yeah tell her first of all right we're gonna make a full video where we tape fucking
mike down and we tickle him to death yeah that's what that's what me and chris is just gonna tickle
him it's gonna be it's gonna be an oddly satisfying video for you yeah and then until mike genuinely
dies yeah until he dies we're to tickle him fucking to death
and then we're going to crawl him.
And then we'll give him one of Vanity's grandmother's cookies
and he'll come back to life.
Yeah, but what we're truly going
to do when we get to a thousand
and we are already up to
730 or 40. It's getting up there now.
And thank you all for your service.
Everyone who's a member of the matriarchy, you know you're having a blast over there. We love you over there. It's getting up there now. And thank you all for your service. Everyone who's a member of the matriarchy,
you know,
you're having a blast over there.
We love you over there.
It's a community.
And we just engage with each other over there and have a blast.
When we get to 1000 members,
we will make a complete history.
Hyenas podcast,
Sandra D Greece video with Chris DiStefano playing Sandra D. Grease video with Chris DiStefano playing Sandra
D. And we will sing the song
with me and Mike
and Zach and Venetia
whenever she gets off her quote unquote fucking
work trip. Yeah. How hilarious
is her work trip in Greece? Yeah, she goes, I have
to time some family things. You're in a bikini on
the beach. You're just fucking drinking
brews and smoking ciggies in Greece.
It's just what it is. She's like, I gotta go there for work.
And then you go to her stories and she's like, hey, pedia,
tikanis, we're at the
beach. And she's just fucking smoking and drinking
and hanging out with pedia. So, I mean,
she's just a rich Greek girl from the Upper West
Side. It's what it is. It's what it is. But when we get
to a thousand, we are going to make a Greece
Sandra Dee video with Chrissy Dee in full
outfit singing, look at me, I'm Sandra
Dee. It's what it is. It's what it is.
It's what it is.
A thousand.
All right,
here we go.
Let's start it off.
Now.
What?
Remember the people,
some people are just,
they walk.
What do we say?
They walk to the back,
just here for the content.
Yeah.
Straight back,
straight to the back.
Explain why they do that.
Yeah.
Because they're on more than one.
Yeah.
So other patrons don't do fun shit like us.
So they can't have a weird, crazy name
on some other Patreon and then have it
like people think they're crazy.
Right. So their
names are just regular because
well, you know what? We don't care.
We here at History Hyenas, we don't care
about the other podcasts.
But we respect you. If you do a
regular name, we respect you. But
in our lives, that means you're just like that guy who walks to the back of a video store to the porn section.
You're here for the content.
You got your head down, and you're just here for the content.
You're walking straight back.
But then the guys who want to play along, we got tons of them now.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
So don't be afraid.
Yeah, just have a fun name.
Don't worry about the other podcast.
We're not going to care.
I just want your money.
We want your names.
Because reach down deep into you and pull out the inner Chrissy D.
That's what this podcast has really done.
It's what it is.
People have find the gay spot in them, and they're freeing it.
Yeah, it's what it is.
It's find your inner Chrissy D.
All right, Hale.
We're going to start it off now.
We'll start off with a bang.
Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
Start off with a bang.
Fumeless Joe Jackson.
That's shoeless Joe Jackson.
Yeah, that's a play on Shoeless, yeah.
Fumeless Joe Jackson.
Yeah, I mean, he right,
let's put him at the top of the power rankings right there.
Right there, yeah.
Okay, then we got this guy's just here for the content.
Trifon Monotades, just here for the content.
Straight to the back.
Straight to the back.
Aaron Forbes, straight to the back.
Straight to the back.
Matthew, one name, black kid, straight to the back. Now we got Ryan the screwedbes straight to the back to the back matthew one name black kids straight to the back now we got ryan the screwed in delaware county dirtbag
with a small irish piece because i'd vote i'd vote for him for city comptroller 100 yeah kids
kids screwed in then we got hugh the communal uvula thornycroft
i mean because these guys are just they're they're screwed in they're
screwed in then we got um uh okay she just says right here uh luxie just here for the content
fatali yeah just straight back tell he's a funny last name any italian name's funny then we got
burke williams just here for the contest straight to the back then we got becky two franks and beans
to have a cackle name but still a piece by. By the way, Burke Williams, great porn name.
Great porn name.
Burke Williams.
Burke Williams.
I'm going to name my cock Burke Williams.
Burke Williams would be great.
Then we got Rick Kaufman, the screwed in carpenter, local 129 represent.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Those are our fans.
Yeah, that kid lives in Bay Ridge.
Because we are local Bay Ridge celebrities.
That's what it is.
Okay.
Then we got Leo, the Leroy White Walker. It's what it is. Okay, then we got Leroy,
Leo the Leroy White Walker.
It's a goodie. Generic, he went, but
you know, he went for it. Yeah, but he counts.
Yeah, he counts. Then we got Eri, can I
get a water Goodyearis? Yeah.
Can I get a water? Yeah.
Then we got Vinny,
Low T, and
Pseudo D Svetty. Yeah,
we're just going to call him Vinny the Sauce Monkey. Vinny the Sauce Monkey
If your name's Vinny Sveti, you're just a sauce monkey
Cuz if your name is Vinny, you just can't avoid
the sauce. Yeah
Then we got this kid's Wasees
Concrete, I'll crack open your driveway
and clean it out, juice
That's a real good
Cuz when you think about it. Oh, Jukes
Sorry, I just saw juice. Yeah, you just
saw it.
Because do you think when Italian kids are born that they just, the doctor puts a little
garlic on them?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just throws a little garlic on them.
Just throws a little garlic on them.
Then we got Chrissy full of fumes.
It's what it is, King.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
Good one.
Then we have Erin Elizabeth straight to the back.
Straight to the back for the content.
Chris Bondi straight to the back for the content.
Yeah, I'm just here for the content.
Stephanie Stackerman.
She's here for the content. Sounds like she has double D's.
Sounds like she's going to get cracked open and cleaned up
by Chrissy Chaos. That's what it is.
Then we got Local817, I can only
pump, I'll take it down a meatball sub piece.
Yeah, we got a lot of union guys.
Then we got Jesse, the
truffle pig green burger. Yeah, then we got Jesse the Truffle Pig Green Burger.
He truly cracked me, Cust.
Jesse the Truffle Pig.
No, not the truly.
All right, that's the guy.
The Truffle Pig is number one.
Then we got Beanie Weenie SSFF Shadow Bannis Pappas Then we got Max Farmer
here for the content
I think we should have maybe taken a break after the truffle pit green burger
Yeah, I mean
That kid hit us up too, truffle pit green burger
Did he? Yeah, hit us up, I think that's the kid with the beers
That kid made me stink
That's the kid that made the beers
Oh yeah, we got a situation with that kid
We're not sure what
We'll talk about it after the show We got a situation with the truffle pig. Yeah, we're not sure
what the truffle pig is.
We'll talk about it
after the show.
We got a situation
with the truffle pig.
Nah, he's a good kid.
He's a good kid, yeah.
God, he made me cry.
Max Farmer,
here for the content.
Yeah, I just choked him back.
Gabby Rodriguez,
here to the content.
She will get cracked
if her name's Gabby Rodriguez, though.
Yeah.
Eugene Honeywich,
here for the...
It's a funny last name,
Honeywich.
Straight to the back.
Then we got Drew
Sticky Trap Belly Button Harris.
Goodie.
Then we got Ryan, one name.
Yeah, straight to the back.
Yeah, me.
Dave Winward.
Dave Winward.
Then we got Suck My Pseudo Penis in the Love Sack, Babe.
Yeah.
I love him thinking about these guys going to other Patreons.
They're going, what?
Then we got Adam Spin My Wheel, Punch punch my bag, and smell my fumes.
Jesus Christ.
It's a fucking other Hall of Fame team.
Then we got Battletoff, Jonathan Roberts.
Roberts in, straight to the back.
Straight to the back.
Ryan, let me be your intern, Buckley.
Yeah.
Okay, he wants to be an intern.
Yeah.
Then we got Angelica, non-tude salsa monkey with adobo fumes Ortiz.
Yeah.
Adobo fumes.
Yeah.
Then we got Brian.
Mikey loved that.
She's a white Walker.
Then we got Brian G ladder 14.
Brian G ladder 14.
Then we got Trevor,
the non-tude AKA daddy,
no fumes,
AKA got a bleez full of feta cheese.
You know, it's funny about Trevor, too?
Trevor can either be a black kid or the waspiest kid you ever met.
You don't know.
Yeah.
Then last but not least, we got Alex Likes His Coffee, Leroy Finn.
That's what it is.
Ten out of ten.
Look, I just feel bad for a lot of those guys after somebody comes like the Truffle Pig did.
Yeah, because these other kids got real funny names.
I mean, that was a hall of fame. They all made me laugh. What do you like the Truffle Pig did? Yeah, because these other kids got real funny names. I mean, that was a Hall of Fame.
They all made me laugh.
What do you like the best?
Truffle Pig hit me the hardest.
Fumeless Joe Jackson.
Fumeless Joe was a goodie.
But you like Jesse the Truffle Pig Green Burger.
And then I think you really,
everybody kind of laughed with Adam Spin My Wheel,
Punch My Bag, and Smell My Fumes.
All right, let's go with those three.
I'm going with the third guy.
Everybody's great though. Great. Truly. I would say the PP going with the third guy. Everybody's great, though.
Great.
But truly, I would say the PPW because we always do Hall of Fame PPW.
My vote is for the third guy.
What was his name again?
Adam, punch my view.
Adam, spin my wheel, punch my bag and smell my fuel.
Yeah, I'm going with him.
What do you go with?
You like Fumeless Joe Jackson?
That's a good one.
I like I really like Fumeless Joe Jackson.
But I mean, Jackson but I mean also
I mean Ryan the screwed in Delaware County
Dirtbag with a small Irish piece is funny too
You gotta pick one it's tough
Cause we're doing a hall of fame every week now
Are we doing a PPW hall of fame
I'm gonna pick
I'm gonna pick that
I'll go with
It's tough
Shit it's tough
It's really tough
You know just cause she sounds like Just cause she sounds like a piece I'll go with... It's tough. Shit, it's tough. It's really tough.
You know what? Just because she sounds like a piece, I'm going to go Angelica
Nontude Salsa Monkey with Adobo Fumes Ortiz.
That's a good one, too. Yeah.
Because I support my Puerto Ricans.
Okay, Mikey, which one are you going for?
I'm going to go with Fumeless Joe.
And what are you going with, Isis?
I'm going to go with that Adam
Spin My Wheel Punch My Bag. So that me. Spin my wheel. Punch my bag.
So that's the guy he wants.
Because that's two votes.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Wait, does Zach's vote count?
Because he's.
Oh, is he a citizen?
We need Veneti.
When Veneti is not here, it's just anarchy.
Wait, she's here.
What's up, guys?
Okay.
So we're dope.
Guys, we have to love it.
I'm going to go with who I love.
I'm going to go with fucking suck my pseudopenis in the
love sack babe yeah that's who i love i'm in greece i'm working i'm not i don't love that
no mike i'm not i'm not saying i don't like it i'm saying we should love it do we love it
that's my question okay i would never hurt your yeah i wish that we would have gotten a picture
of mike's face after she said that i mean the way it just shot out of her mouth
The emotional rejection
The emotional
It was emotional
She blasted out
Emotionally like no
And then she caught herself
And then went PC
She realized there was a person on the end of that who made that
Yeah
If Vanity was a lawyer she'd be fucking vicious.
She's as sweet as Reese's Pieces and her grandmother bakes cookies, but she's vicious.
Here's the deal.
She's Spartan.
Yeah.
So those are fucked.
They make those into warrior machine women.
Right.
So she's not a full person.
She's kind of a half Greek robot.
Right.
That's what it is.
She's a killing machine.
She's a killing machine.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
I'll take you physically.
What do we got, Mike? You all right? What's the doctor's office? machine. She's a killing machine. Yeah, that's what it is. I'll take his physical. What do we got, Mike?
You all right?
What's the doctor's office?
Oh.
What?
Oh, got to do the read.
Oh, yeah.
We got to do the read.
Yeah, Mike's leaving.
Where's Mike going?
Mike, he's got a phone call.
Do you think because of the changes in pressure when he comes off airplay,
he decompresses and just lets gas out?
You think, yeah, he kind of gets skinnier and then pops back up?
Yeah.
Because Mike looks comfortable.
Mike's a comfortable kid.
His lap is just, he's got a great lap because it looks comfy wumpy.
Yeah, he's got a comfy wumpy lap.
Yeah, cuz.
Yeah.
We're brought to you by Lakeside Maple.
Okay.
These guys are the trail mix kids.
Yeah.
We're also brought to you by Lakeside Maple, the screwed in freaking trail mix company.
Who fucking likes to make believe that he doesn't, that he makes it out of his grandmother's basement.
Yeah.
And he's got a full factory.
He said he sent them here.
Send them again.
What happened to the first time we got them?
Well, they sent them to my house.
He sent them to my house.
He said he didn't send them to your house.
And I gave it to the baby.
He said he didn't send them to your house.
He says he doesn't know what Chrissy's talking about.
Did he send them here?
It could have happened during a blackout where you picked them up someplace else.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
You never know when your Chrissy's having a blackout.
Maybe I asked him to send them to my fucking mother's.
I don't know.
Zach, did we get trail mix here?
I didn't.
No.
I got a box of Lakeside Maple and now the situation has it.
You said that.
Mike, where's the trail mix?
What happened?
You all right?
You look like you.
No, I had a phone call from Houston.
From Houston?
Is it the guy that I blew?
What happened to Houston?
It was the club. They own all
the Texas. Oh, what'd they want?
Was it that guy, Ray? I thought it was something important,
but it wasn't. Was it that guy, Ray?
No, it was a social media guy asking for a
house party. What a scumbag.
When we start doing the live shows,
Mikey, and you perform with us,
you guys are going to have to call the club before and tom they got to get nets behind the stage
for me and chris 100 if they don't have nets and you're just gonna unfortunately have to do your
set and then just lay down behind yes that's what i thought i was gonna be doing yeah have our own
history hyenas nets available from uh on the volley yeah soon ago we should buy net yeah
mike screwed in mike screwed by the way you didn't't tell, you didn't, that idea for the thousandth Patreon, when
we get to a thousand Patreons, that acting out that grease video was by Mrs. Pappas.
That was her idea.
That was her idea.
I mean, she's fucking screwed in.
She's so screwed in.
Yeah.
She even went to iTunes and left us a fake, left a fake review.
Yeah, she's screwed in.
Pretending to not be my wife, which is hilarious when you read it.
Yeah.
Because she didn't go by her new name, Britt Pappas.
She went by Britt. I'm not, yeah, she just went by her real name and then she tried to pretend like it
wasn't a fake review which is hilarious yeah she's and she goes like it's a great she goes i especially
like when the patreon content yeah so go get the bonus content yeah so it's just a fake review
mrs poppins she just signed it. And the thing is.
To cackle that.
We need to cackle.
That's another cackle.
Chris is going wild today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just.
Guys, you got to cackle that.
You got it, Mike.
Thank God, Mike and fucking Zach.
Zach is always good with the cackles.
We got to give that.
I mean, except back in the day when he used to just not cackle.
I was I was listening to Battle of Brooklyn on the way over here.
Just an oldie, but great episode.
There's one part where we cackle for 45 seconds in a row.
Yeah, it's a continuous.
What did I say?
Because sometimes you just pick up the steel pipe or or a machete and you just chop through the jungle.
Do you remember what I even said?
No, I just sounded funny.
What did I say?
Yeah, you said you said something, but we have to cackle that.
We got a few cackle moments here.
We got a few Chrissy cackles. Yeah, I probably just gave out everybody's address.
I think your name should just be Chrissy cackles
because I cancel this date. Do you want
to go on sushi?
So we're brought to you by Lakeside
Maple. They got
the three flavors, original ginger chai,
spicy. Go follow him on instagram i'm
serious guys we want you to be healthy this is a delicious healthy ingenious invention i mean the
guy fucking really came up with something good because it's trail mix combination of almonds
sunflower seeds baked with pure maple syrup and it's ground and fresh fresh butter so it's not
that it's a little tasty too it's a little that, it's a little tasty too. It's a little fucking tasty.
It's a little tasty.
So go to his website,
lakesidemaple.com
to get 15% off your offer.
Make a picture or a video
with you getting your Lakeside Maple
delivered to your house
and we will repost it,
repost it for you.
And we're proud,
we're proud to have him sponsor our cast.
And as long as he wants to be here, he's here because he's, he helped, these guys helped us get off the ground. Yep. And we're proud to have him sponsor our cast. And as long as he wants to be here, he's here
because he helped. These guys helped us
get off the ground. So we just
loyal kids to them. We got a new
sponsor. Wow! This kid
is wild. He's a doctor
this kid. So now we got another
fucking doctor? Yeah, so now we're closed
again at the $100 level. Yeah, because we only got
six, right? Is it Dr. Nick? No, it's
Sandra Azizi. Sadra Azizi. Yeah, because we only got six, right? Is it Dr. Nick? No, it's Sandra Azizi.
Sadra Azizi.
Yeah, he's one
N away from a Sandra. Is he a Middle Eastern?
He's a Middle Eastern kid, yeah.
But his name is Sandra Azizi.
Is it
Sadra? Yeah, it's not Sandra, it's like Sadra.
Sadra Azizi. He's a good
kid. He's a New York-based GI doctor.
He's got a YouTube channel. He's a sneakerhead. I met this kid.
Great kid. Smart kid. He's a doctor, cuz, in Iowa or something, right?
I met him at a comedy show somewhere.
But anyway, his name is Sedra Azizi, and he's got a YouTube channel. Go check it out.
He's a huge sneakerhead, so most of the channel is just sneaker history,
inspiration topics,
along with goofy medical education and advice videos for aspiring healthcare students in the general public.
A very 2019 screwed in kid.
What's his YouTube and everything?
His YouTube is,
he didn't even say it,
which is hilarious.
We got to get that from him.
But his website is Dr.
D R Sadra or Sadra S A D R A A Z I Z I. Dr. D-R-S-A-D-R-A-A-Z-I-Z-I.
So it's D-R-S-A-D-R-A-A-Z-I-Z-I.com.
So that's S-A-N-D-B-O-X.com.
Way song switch.
You can't have that.
It's already taken. I that. It's already taken.
I mean, it's already taken.
Chrissy Cackles.
Also, he's a new toot.
He's trying comedy.
He's trying to be a non-toot.
Yeah, by the end of Trump 2020,
Wei Zhong Jing.
That's what it is.
Follow Dr. Souls, S-O-L-E-S,
on Instagram, YouTube, everything. Dr. Souls. so follow Dr. Soles S-O-L-E-S on Instagram
YouTube
everything
Dr. Soles
so this is Dr. Soles' kid
maybe we can pull up his shit
well thank you for joining our
we should call those
our off the ground sponsors
because those guys
really got us started
and we have six slots
that are always available
to whoever's got
a small business
or you know
whatever they want to promote
so we're also brought to you
by a healthy smile family and cosmetic dentistry that is www.ahealthyhappysmile.com go to a healthy
uh smile rock hill on instagram dr harvey spencer jr and his wife me and chris will be going down
there 100 to get our teeth clean we're gonna make that a fucking day trip it's gonna happen
teeth cracked open and cleaned out yeah tell. Tell him the hyena sent you.
And also, Nutrition Made Fun.
Go follow Matt Koch, the kid.
I'm addicted to his Instagram.
I really am.
It's one of the most entertaining Instagrams.
I've actually gotten a lot of tips.
Yeah.
Choose slower and only eat until you're 80% full.
Yeah.
Those are the big tips.
I mean, the kid, let's be honest.
The kid's entertaining and he's screwed in and he's charismatic and he's great at Instagram,
but he's giving away all his tips for free.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
You don't really have to join.
You can just follow him on the gram and you'll lose five pounds.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
He tells you what to eat,
when to eat,
how to eat and do everything.
And then you're like,
he's like joined for $5,000 a month.
The truth is I already got all the fucking tips for free.
And ISIS is nodding.
Cause he knows it's true.
Either way,
follow the kid and,
and,
and,
and you should go join his stuff.
But anyway, follow Nutrition Made Fun
on the gram.
It's all one word.
Nutrition Made Fun.
Matt Koch.
Don't stop, Matt,
because I actually,
your Instagram page is one
I look forward to.
We're also brought to you
by CBD Script.
This is, you know,
every podcast has to have
one CBD oil fucking company
supporting them.
So we're brought to you
by CBD Script. This is our fucking company supporting them. So we're brought to you by CBD script.
This is,
this is our CBD company of choice.
Go to their website,
CBD script.com.
Put the promo code.
Hyena's 15.
It's Hyena's 15.
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They got the best CBD oil on the planet, man.
It is completely fumeless and natural.
They got all types of gummies and edibles,
all types of different CBD products.
So go to cbdscript.com and check them out.
And we're also brought to you by 9th Street Auto Collision
for the guys out there on the island.
If you get into a car accident,
you got a problem with your car, go to 9th Street Auto Collision.
They will crack your car open and clean it out.
They've been doing it for over 20 years.
They're great with body work and they give everybody a deal.
They work with all insurances.
Even if you don't have insurance, they'll cut a deal for you.
And they do tow and two cars.
Give them a call.
631-351-5300.
Down there, 133 West Hills Road in Huntington Station, New York out there
on the island
I mean is this episode about anything
today or I mean I thought we were going to do the history
of YAS
did you look it up?
the history of YAS
started with fucking
drag shows
I think so right?
I would think so but I don't know that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I just don't know.
Yeah.
I mean,
we're just fucking wild today.
We are.
We,
today's a going wild episode,
but you know,
what's funny about yas is there's always some form of like,
um,
like,
I think the yas is like,
would you say it's like the modern you go girl?
Yeah.
In a some way.
Yeah.
That will be, that'll be that's for the patreon
that'll be for the highest level page 25 those are for our can you keep a secret level yeah can
you just change that to the can you keep a secret level so do the patrons get everything uncackled
like whatever i say they get the only the top tier we're talking 25 and up so it's 2500 250
500 members get what are gonna get what we just did.
They don't get addresses and shit like that.
Yeah.
They don't get anything dangerous, but they get all the
secret stuff.
They get things uncackled unless you go absolutely
legally wild.
I mean, she's just...
You didn't say any names or anything, so that's going
to the $2,500.
That's what that girl does. She just paints.
Yeah.
Let's keep to the 25. Wow, that's what that girl does. She just paints. Yeah. Yeah.
Let's keep it on picture.
It's being white in America.
We need to cackle that part too, just in case.
You know? Yeah. Because this is a free
episode. And we're back. And also
we need to cackle. It's because our next guest
thinks I'm going on a date with her tonight.
Marty, keep putting me back.
Yeah, we can.
You know what this is like?
This is like when a referee on the football field
starts putting it five yards back and five yards back
and five yards back.
We keep trying to come back from the cackles,
but Chrissy keeps putting the football five yards back.
So.
We're getting more.
Yeah, and we're back. We. Yeah. And we're back.
We're back.
And we're back.
Join the Patreon.com.
Yeah.
Join the Patreon.
Slash Bay Ridge boys are 25.
Yeah.
That's for our top tier non-toots.
The little thing we just cut out of this podcast that has to only be on Patreon.
That's our can you keep a secret level.
Let's just be crystal clear.
There's a lot of them today.
There's a lot of cackles.
Yeah.
You guys, that pencil you got to mark is going to run out
of fucking lead.
Because you keep changing it. If you ever go to court,
you're going to have to not talk
because you're going to keep getting contempt of court
days added because you
won't stop.
Do you want to cancel your 8 o'clock and then we'll hang
out after I take the baby to
Taekwondo? We'll go get some sushi? I do. Or do you want to just come with me on that thing? after, after I take the baby to Taekwondo. Yeah. Go get some sushi.
I do.
Okay.
Or do you want to just come with me on that thing?
No.
Well,
no,
because I got to go to Taekwondo afterwards.
What do you mean?
Oh,
you mean you want me to come back to Bay Ridge?
Like,
are you going to cancel the podcast?
I might.
Yeah.
There's no point to do it.
Yeah.
I might just say,
here's the thing.
Here's what I could do.
I could cancel it.
And then I could just go take her to lunch.
You could take her to lunch.
The girl.
Yeah.
During the week,
I could just do a lunch thing because she's a
painter. Yeah. Okay. Well, we got a lot
on our agenda, so we'll figure it out.
No, it's all right.
Yeah, so this
is according to the Urban Dictionary, which
is funny.
Yas just
became a thing. I thought it started with RuPaul's
Drag Race. That's what I heard. Yeah, some people
thought I attributed to Broad City for some
reason, which I don't think so. It was
before that. Broad City says Dasit too
and they never credit me.
But I know that's where she got it from.
I mean, Dasit is one of those things that
kind of was around before me.
You know, like Latin,
Puerto Ricans especially say Dasit.
Hey yo, Dasit, we're going to play you next.
I mean, ISIS is quick with the buttons.
Yeah.
By the way, you can go to historyhyenas.com for all merch.
Let me tell this story real quick.
Let me tell this story.
Me and my wife had a great fucking weekend.
I've been taking time off from comedy.
We had a date weekend, Friday night.
You're getting your hair back, too.
Yeah, my hair's full.
And you're getting diesel again.
I'm fucking getting diesel again.
Did you work out today?
Yeah, I work out every day. When'd you work out, this morning work out this morning no yesterday yeah you're sundown i'm sundown so i
think tonight did the podcast turn off i just hit the thing we're good okay we're good is it good
okay so uh me and my wife went um we went and had went to lutzos which is a great pizza restaurant
atlantic yeah great night cuz you got to come out with us one night. Just hang out with me and my wife.
Yeah.
Just come out with us.
Should I?
Do you want me to bring a suit?
She always likes it.
You're around.
You can come solo or with...
I'd rather you come solo than a tube
because the girls you hang out with
aren't that great with conversation.
Yeah.
They all just got fakes.
Yeah, they got fakes.
So anyway,
this is a true story that happened, guys.
This is really funny.
This is a true story. So my wife is This is really funny. This is a true story.
So my wife is kind of like, she's a little like, you know, she's organized.
She's kind of a very, she's an adult.
Even though she's younger than me, she's an adult.
So she always tries to tell me to put on shoes like my mother used to.
And I can't handle that because my mother used to tell me to do that.
And it brings up bad memories because I like to dress the way I like to dress.
And I want to be a free kid.
I want to be born free.. I want to be born free.
Yeah. Like Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, that's what it is.
So she tried first to tell
me to change my sneakers, right? Because I put on
these fucking new Air Max and she said they have writing on
them and she wanted me to turn them off. I said, I'm not
taking these off. This is what I'm wearing. And she goes, we're
going for a nice dinner. And she was dressed up.
And I said, I'm a comedian.
I said, all my friends think I dress
great, except you. And I got really insecure. a comedian. I said, all my friends think I dress great except you.
And I got really insecure.
Yeah.
Right.
And then I wasn't trying to upstage her.
I put on the no fume shirt that has Chrissy's feet on there.
Yeah.
In the yoga socks.
That's at Patreon.com.
No, it's at HistoryHahenas.com.
Go get your shirts because this is what I did for that shirt.
I came out in that shirt and she goes, you are not wearing that shirt to dinner.
I go, I am fucking wearing this shirt to dinner.
And she goes, I'm not going.
You're not going in that fucking shirt.
And we started screaming.
And she said, she won't go.
And then she said, I'm going to dinner by myself unless you take that shirt off.
And I had that moment where I just went, you know what?
I had a moment.
Usually I'd give it and be like, look, just change your fucking shirt.
Let her win.
You know how women are.
They don't make sense. And they're just fucking, you know, look, just change your fucking shirt. Let her win. You know how women are. They don't make sense.
And they're just fucking, you know, they make you fucking.
Right.
They want to beat your balls.
They pound your balls like chicken cutlets.
It's what it is.
It's what they do.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I said, you know what?
I'm going to take a fucking stand today, Mike.
I'm going to take a stand and I'm wearing Chris's feet to fucking dinner.
On my nipples.
And she said, I don't.
It's her exact quote was, I do not want to stare
at Chris's feet
while I eat pizza.
Yeah.
And I said,
I'm wearing this
fucking shirt tonight.
Because my feet do look
like regular slices of pizza.
They look like
the triangle slices.
So cuz,
she stormed out of the house
and pretended like
she was going to go
get pizza on her own.
And I just stood my,
there's a time.
So she left the apartment.
She left the apartment. There's a time in So she left the apartment, left the apartment.
There's a time in a man's life where he's got to stand for something.
I stood for our podcast and our merch.
And I said,
fuck that.
This is where I draw the line.
Yeah.
I'm not going to go.
I'll fucking sit here.
She was out.
And I was like,
if she goes to pizza by herself and she never forgives me again,
that's fine.
I'm fucking wearing the shirt tonight.
Yeah.
So the next thing you know,
she came back and she went on and then she didn't give a shit about the fucking shirt but the point is
how long how long did she did it take till she came back you know how women are fucking 20 seconds
it was a complete fucking it was a complete bluff yeah because she was like i don't i don't want to
drive i don't know my car yeah but you know what's really funny is she had high heels on open toe
like really nice shoes and because i put that shirt on, this is my wife.
This is my wife.
My wife took off her high heels and put on Sperry's because she wanted to match me because she thought I was too underdressed and she was too overdressed.
That's the difference between women and men.
I don't give a shit what you wear.
We're going to dinner.
I'll go to dinner to fucking toga.
I'm a Greek kid.
I don't care.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll wear fucking Mike's skin on him just like a fucking Hessian would do.
Yeah.
I'll put his fucking face on me.
Mike looks like a human potato croquette.
He does, cuz.
Yeah.
So anyway, go to historyhyenas.com and get our shirts.
Yeah, please get our shirts.
Get our fucking shirts.
And I forgot.
Oh, we were talking about Yas.
Yeah, Yas.
I forgot the Yas.
Yeah.
And then so go to historyhyenas.com.
Buy our merch
How long does it take Elvis to get a Wei Zhongxin shirt?
I mean the kid
Literally it's like I don't know
But the material is nice
But usually when you get Mexicans
You're hoping for a more efficient job
But that's the problem with these Mexican Americans
They think
Because they're fucking citizens
They don't have to work hard
You'll still get catapult'll still go over that fucking wall.
You'll still get catapulted right back over that thing.
Yeah, don't worry.
Yeah.
Because we will show up to Los Angeles
and roll that catapult right into your backyard.
Make no mistake.
Yeah, your flag is the wrong colors.
Yeah, and we don't care if you land fucking in Mexico City
or if you land down here in San Antonio,
we're still going to fling you.
Yeah, you're just going to get flung.
You're going to...
La Fuente.
Yeah, it's a character piece. We're just kidding around flung you're gonna La Fuente La Fuente is just
character piece
we're just kidding around
we love the Mexicans
yeah we love them
I love when he doubles up
with the Weijia Jing
and the fucking characters
well you went to Lobos
yesterday in Bay Ridge
it's fucking Mexican food
yeah it's Mexican food
and it was really great
and it's really cozy
you ate a lot of food yesterday
I did
you went to dinner
with your wife
lunch with your wife
then met me and the baby
at Salty Dog
and then you had another dinner
another lunch a late lunch and then you had another dinner another lunch a
late lunch and then you had two dinners and six beers yeah we had a good and you also ate my
daughter's brownie ball i did and she was like why is aunt yana's eating my brownie ball i mean
she's a kid yeah and you stuck your fucking spoon in there and britney was like what are you doing
let's just make no mistake baby wanted ice cream and yanni ate it yeah and make no mistake the baby
has a boyfriend named nico yeah it it's a Greek kid. And she said
to Brittany,
she said,
oh, great, there's a cute boy
and he's so, so
handsome. Yeah. My daughter's
as cute as Reese's Pieces. She's as cute as Reese's
Pieces, and she's also got a father
who's wild. I mean, we just...
She's got two sex-fueled parents.
Yeah, I mean, we just She's got two sex-fueled parents. Yeah, I mean, we just
we gotta get her
into a sport immediately.
Constantly. Well, she starts dance tomorrow.
We got dance tomorrow. Yeah.
So that's good. That'll be a sport that'll get energy.
I mean, one of those dance teachers is gonna get
cracked. Yeah. And then she also
is in Taekwondo, so that's a sport.
And then we're going to put her in soccer.
So that'll be three things. So she's going to have, she has
busy weeks. Nice. Yeah, so
we got her in sports. Can we pause
the podcast for a second? You want to pause it? What happened?
Just pause it. We'll cut.
Oh, you want to look
up Yas? Yeah. Well, where are we now?
55 minutes. I have the info
right here. Oh here oh yeah basically it
was started by by gay culture from the 80s or they have like these things called big balls
yeah yeah exactly but uh so let's come back and do that we'll cut right there and just
yeah no did we ever cut we didn't cut yet i just fuck we're just it doesn't matter just do it i
mean look i was just trying to cover the fact that we we we i brought up a
topic that we didn't do any well yeah i was telling the boys today i just knew you were
you've been in a you've been fucking yanni long days the last the last fucking three days i mean
yeah i just i took some screenshots of just to know that like when you guys see stuff on yanni
on yannis's you know like page and stuff like you just look at as a spectator and that's fine but
i'm the one that has to deal with it so when you see these were three instagram stories in a row the first one
was a picture of frederick douglas that said i prefer to be true to myself even at the hazard
of incurring the ridicule of others rather than to be false and to incur my own abhorrence
frederick douglas then the next one a minute later was virtually all ideologues of any variety are
fearful and insecure which is why they are drawn to ideologies
that promise prefabricated answers for all circumstances that's a great quote then then
the third one another minute later from darwin it is not the strongest of the species that survives
nor the most intelligent that survives it is the one that is most adaptable to change yeah so all
that happened at seven o'clock in the morning on sunday so once that happens once that starts going
off you know for me it's going to be a
long day.
You're in for a long fucking day.
Because I'm the one that gets the brunt of it because I'm the one that gets called and
I'm the one that gets called a stone cold faggot for no reason.
And Giannis just yells at me in his underwear about nothing.
Yeah.
Because I love how when you get trapped in a Gianni Long Days rant.
Yeah.
How you try to maneuver to get off the phone.
Yeah.
I just try.
It's not easy. I'm at the airport. to get off the phone. Yeah, I just try. It's not easy.
I'm like, yeah,
I'm at the airport.
I need, I'm home.
You're like, hey, listen,
I got, my mother's
just fell from the sky.
I got to call you back.
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't know.
Yeah.
It's not easy
because you get trapped in it.
I get trapped in it.
Yeah.
What does Mrs. Pompous do
when she gets trapped in it?
She just,
she just listens?
She just deals with it,
but I don't trap her
that much in it.
Yeah.
You know? Yeah. My wife, you know, I'm the one that gets trapped. You get trapped the it, but I don't trap her that much in it. Yeah. You know?
Yeah.
My wife, you know, I don't want to get trapped.
You get trapped the most.
You certainly are the one that is.
You take the brunt of it.
You take, I mean, it must be brutal because I got to get it out.
And so I just go, who's, who's the one who's going to pretend like they're listening?
Yeah.
Because I know I'm just basically talking to myself.
That's why when you're doing, cause you know, I know what you're going through.
And when you, when you do that, I just become a human uvula and I just take it off the fucking bed.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
That's just what happens.
Yeah.
So Mike actually knows where the fucking comes from.
Where does Yastar come from?
OK, yeah, go ahead.
So basically, late 80s gay culture would have these things called it's called ball culture, apparently.
Yeah.
They would just have these like runway shows, kind of like RuPaul's Drag Race, but not a TV show. Right. That's shit they would just have these like runway shows kind of like rupaul's drag race but not a tv show right that's shit they would do like in that movie monster what macaulay
caulkin like that time frame you know i'm talking about with the limelight the origins of limelight
those party kids those city well i think it's a drag show before but these were these were
gay people of color okay okay cool so they'd be like yeah fierce walks and all that yeah dude it's
you know it's you know some costumes you know it was like a black gay guy who started that.
Because they're the fiercest.
They're just like, yeah.
Or it could have been like a-
Puerto Rican.
Or black Puerto Rican or Latin or-
It's not a white.
It's not a white.
We know it's not a white.
We just know it's not a white.
Because they don't have enough-
Whites don't have enough creativity and style for that shit.
The blacks and Puerto Ricans are better.
Yeah.
I mean, blacks and Puerto Ricans kind of,
they just,
and Latin's too.
I mean,
you got to include all.
It is funny that we all New Yorkers just call all Spanish Puerto Ricans.
It's like Colin,
Colin Quinn said the same thing and it's special,
but it is very true.
Yeah.
Colin Quinn's New York story.
It's like,
that's one of the funniest things.
All the Puerto Rican,
all the Latinos are Puerto Ricans and all the Asians are Chinese.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is in New York city.
Especially because,
and it's not, it's not a hateful thing. It's like, look, there's more Puerto Ricans here than there Asians are Chinese. It's just what it is. It's just what it is in New York City. Especially because, and it's not a hateful thing.
It's like, look, there's more Puerto Ricans here than there are in Puerto Rico.
Yeah.
Like New York is full of Puerto Ricans.
There's only Puerto Ricans in a few places.
Believe me, because it's the only place that I've ever sold tickets.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
So I'll tell you exactly where the Puerto Ricans are.
Yeah.
Okay, there's Puerto Ricans in Chicago.
There's Puerto Ricans in Springfield, Massachusetts.
There's Puerto Ricans in Boston. There's Puerto Ricans in Springfield, Massachusetts. There's Puerto Ricans in Boston.
There's Puerto Ricans in Miami.
Miami, but not a lot.
Not a lot.
It's mostly Cuban.
Cubans love Maurica.
The only other people who love Maurica as much as Puerto Ricans is Cubans.
They love Maurica, but it's mostly Cubans in Miami.
There are some Puerto Ricans, but it's not a lot.
I'm talking about a lot.
Orlando is a hot spot for Puerto Ricans.
Disney World, yeah.
I would say in Florida, Orlando probably has the most Puerto Ricans.
And there's a few other places, but those are the spots.
And then number one is Nueva York, baby.
Yeah, New York is the biggest.
That's right.
And you know you're in New York when you get fucking off that plane
and you see your first Puerto Rican flag.
It's not going to take long.
It's not going to take long.
Because you see it on some, you know, when a fat, big Puerto Rican girl bends over to pick up her suitcase, you're going to see it tattooed on her ass or on her fingernails.
No, you may see it right when you walk off the plane.
Anyone needing a wheelchair, the person pushing that wheelchair, his name is Gottman.
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Cause yeah. You know, when you grow up in New York, you just, Puerto Rico,
you just are used to seeing Puerto Rican men on bikes with a radio in the
front and a Chihuahua drinking a Budweiser. And it's just what it is.
Cause you know what I miss when we used to do this podcast last year in the
winter time and we would do a little bit later,
we would do it like two to six and then after we would always just have a
dinner at, at, um, what was that place? Uh, uh,
Pepe's Pepe to goes.
We haven't been there.
So Pepe Russo.
Yeah.
You really enjoyed that,
right?
Do it anymore.
Yeah.
I've just been living a lot in the past.
They get about,
I just want it to be colder out.
You do.
I have a lot better memories when it's colder.
I have no real fun memories when it's hot.
No,
you just,
you're,
you're,
you're a Chris.
It was a crazy,
crazy mayday.
Yeah.
I mean,
you,
you literally sweat and you look like you're going through things.
Yeah.
I want to just be a little colder.
But I have to pee.
I have an STD.
So we're going to have to finish the pod soon.
Yeah.
We just have to.
I really have to pee and it's a chlamydia piss.
It is?
Well, that's all the history to Yas right there.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yas.
A cool gay guy came up with it and then white women took it.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
But it's like, yeah, it's become like a everyone says
it now we say it on here and das it has become a thing that it you know it's said yeah people
just say that and you know that it was around before marisa but marisa was really the one that
made it like a thing where you got that's just like probably um you go girl was around probably
before um jamie foxx's character, but Jamie Foxx's character
made that a fucking thing. What was that
girl's name again? On Martin?
So funny, dude. I used to
love Martin. What was it? Shanaynay.
Shanaynay. You go, girl.
It was like, you know, and then that became
you go, girl. It just became pop
culture. So like, yas, you go,
girl. Because sometimes you just
hit a homer with that
but well janine was martin lawrence yeah what did i say did i say martin uh jamie fox van buren
no no you said jamie fox oh oh my god he had the other character very similar on
that's right i that was just a i was a big martin Martin Lawrence was one of my first comedy heroes.
I loved You So Crazy.
And that was another phrase he made.
You so crazy.
Yeah.
But his special You So Crazy is one of the best fucking specials. Is that the one where he's wearing like the red leather?
He's wearing like black leather with like a peace sign on it.
And it's one of the best specials.
He's one of the funniest dudes.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
He's one.
Oh yeah.
It's similar, but that's Wanda.
But, but Shanaynay was the You Go Girl. Yeah. So it was Martin Lawrenceanda. But Shanaynay was the You Go Girl. So it was
Martin Lawrence, his character Shanaynay
where You Go Girl got popular. Are you so
crazy? You so motherfucking crazy.
I mean, Martin Lawrence was a 10, cuz.
Martin Lawrence and Jamie, the talent
Martin Lawrence is extremely talented
but Jamie Foxx's talent is
unbelievable. Unreal. I mean, it's
unbelievable how talented that man is.
Yeah, I'd say he's a little more versatile than Martin Lawrence.
Well, he could sing and everything.
But Martin Lawrence is funny.
I think Martin Lawrence is more of a funny vehicle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, Jamie Foxx has so many variety of talents,
but I mean, Martin Lawrence, just that face up top, look at that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, the kid was just a 10 constantly.
Yeah, he's a funny fucking kid.
One of the most underrated comedy movies to me is life.
I mean,
it got no love.
Yeah.
I mean,
dude,
it has,
it is one of the funniest movies.
It has Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence in it.
And there's a whole bunch of other funny people in it.
Um,
what's his name is in it.
Uh,
he just died.
Funny.
I'm just,
uh,
sundown and Bernie Mac,
Bernie Max.
Yeah.
I mean, it's so funny
Life
And it got no love
I've never seen life
Dude it's one of the funniest movies
I mean Martin Lawrence is a fucking
I'm telling you
They're both 12
So is Eddie Murphy
I mean he's a hall of fame
He's hosting SNL this year they said
Yeah
He's back on tour
He's doing a comedy special
Netflix gave him like a hundred million dollars
Netflix is going out of business
I mean what are they doing Yeah I mean they're just gonna go out of business I mean it's not Schultz's prediction that's cool That he's back on tour. He's doing a comedy special. Netflix gave him like a hundred million dollars. Netflix is going out of business. I mean, what are they doing?
Yeah.
I mean,
they're just going to go out of business.
I mean,
it's not Schultz's prediction.
That's cool that he's doing,
but it's like at this point,
it's not hard to predict.
It's like your whole business model is you're just trying to not let anyone
else.
You're just giving them so much money that people are just saying yes to
you because nobody else can match that number.
But where's that money coming from?
You're just in debt.
Yeah.
How many,
no, who's signing up for Netflix now?
I don't know.
Like, you know what I mean?
They only make money off the subscriptions.
Like, do you know anyone who signed up for Netflix?
Not based on the money they're giving out.
I mean, they're losing.
I remember reading that article back then.
They were like a billion dollars in debt.
And that's their business model because their business model was was literally to try to put other people out of business.
That's what their business model was literally to try to put other people out of business. That's what their business model is. How many
Netflix subscribers
are there in the world? Tons.
But it's gone down. But they
do all this original programming.
Their original programming, those
have movie budgets.
In 2018,
they had approximately 150 million
subscribers. Yeah.
And now it seems like they're going down because they're losing content.
More companies are doing their own streaming service.
Disney is a big one.
Right.
Also, they kind of lost what they were. The whole thing that was fun about Netflix at first was, oh, I don't have to buy movies.
I don't have to rent movies because they're all here now.
Now there's like no real movies on there.
It's all their own original shit. Yeah. which you don't really care about as much.
You can't find an old movie anymore.
You have to watch the shit they made now.
What's their debt now?
Can we just look up what their debt is?
I'm just curious.
I'm just going to go pay.
Yeah, they're in debt a certain amount.
And I'm just curious what that debt is because it's wild.
Here it is.
Oh, my God. Look at this.
The content
budget is $15 billion.
Chris, did you hear that?
Yeah. So they're spending $15
billion.
I mean,
Chris is
like the New York Chris Farley.
They also haven't
paid like any significant amount towards that debt. They also haven't paid any significant amount
towards that debt, so they're just staying in debt.
It's wild, right?
What's the thinking behind that?
I understand the thinking at the beginning.
It's like, let's put everybody out of business so everyone
comes to us, but now
you can't put Disney out of business because they have
so much money. Right now,
pull it back. Their content budget
in Netflix was $15 billion.
That brought an additional additional 2 billion in debt to their long-term
debt,
which is around 12.3 billion.
I mean,
I mean,
I don't know what's going on.
Who is this debt to though?
Like who are they borrowing this billions of dollars from investors,
investors,
investors,
banks,
investors.
Like how are they going to get that money back? I mean, from friends reruns.
I mean, I don't, it's wild. It's wild.
So I see why Andrew Schultz says that all the time.
It seems like it makes sense. I mean, it doesn't,
it doesn't seem like that's a sustainable business model. Yeah.
But anyway, I don't know how we got on Netflix from yas,
but that's the history of Yas. Yeah.
But there's not one person who
claims credit for that? There's no one
that it's attributed to. No, there's no
one famous drag
queen or cool gay guy that they say
he's the one who did it. They just know that
it was being used so much in that culture
you know, that and then
that's it. Yeah. And that's
it. So now it became a thing
I wish there was a straight yas where you could go
yas yeah
and get it all yas
alright wanna stop
yeah that's it so go to patreon.com
I want a fucking chicken palm hero let's go get one
is it keto Thank you. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?