History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 88 - Hyenas Experts are WILD!
Episode Date: September 22, 2019The boys talk with Arjune Dheer, a wildlife biologist who is currently a PhD student researching spotted hyenas adaptability. He's a true blue Hyenas expert currently living in Germany waiting to head... back to Africa!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey yo! We're on.
Yeah.
Let's speak to a real wildlife biologist, hyena expert, right here on Hyenas.
The history, hyenas, with Chrissy.
I got a chain, guy.
I did.
Your conversation partner is currently not available. Yeah, a chain, guy. I did.
Yeah, well, he's definitely in Germany.
Yeah.
So maybe we should just do this whole interview as marks and stirbings.
Yeah. So we were trying to reach Arjun Deer.
He's a wildlife biologist PhD student whose research has spotted hyenas.
But apparently he's trapped in Germany. Why didn't he pick up the fucking phone? PhD student whose research has spotted hyenas but apparently
he's trapped
in Germany
why didn't he
pick up the
fucking phone
because he's
busy
what's his name
Arjun
Arjun
Arjun
Arjun Dia
yeah
he's originally
not from
your motherland
if you know
what I mean
yeah let's
call him
oh here we go
yeah
okay
so this has a
normal ring
are we calling
California now?
It's just good to see Mike emoji face.
How was Sergio's birthday?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just didn't want to go there because I didn't feel like there was enough white.
Yeah.
You just hear German and all you think is like these guys are up to nothing good.
Yeah.
The language just sounds like you're up to nothing good.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, every time, call him one more time because every time i hear that
voicemail i get pyoing yeah you get pyoing for that voicemail and i'm gonna x you and i'm gonna
x you one time because now you're wearing a chain outside your shirt so now you're a chain outside
the shirt guy yeah i wear my chain outside the shirt guy yeah and i don't know if i'm gonna be
able to do this podcast staring at you because your Guido is in fucking overdrive.
I just want to give a shout out to the, okay.
Okay, so, well, Venetia sent us a text.
Yeah, I get a little hard.
Venetia sent us a text saying that we were going to call him at 7.
So maybe it's 7, maybe it's only 6.30 over there by him.
Yeah, who could do mathematics over here?
Yeah. Yeah, I want to just give a shout out to the Wicked Monk in Bay Ridge. Thank you for having me.30 over there by him. Yeah, who could do mathematics over here? Yeah.
Yeah, I want to just give a shout-out to the Wicked Monk in Bay Ridge.
Thank you for having me.
It was a fun day.
Hey, Bert.
Hey, Bert.
Yeah, somebody yelled, hey, Bert, from the back of the bar, and it was a 10.
Hey, Bert.
And I just also want to give a shout-out to the guy who came over to me and was like,
he just got a nice tattoo, and it's Jesus Christ, and in each one of his hands, Jesus
Christ is holding one of the Twin Towers.
Yeah, so he- So I just want to say thank you to that guy. So's Jesus Christ. And in each one of his hands, Jesus Christ is holding one of the twin towers. Yeah, so he—
I just want to say thank you to that guy.
So Jesus was holding a tower in each hand?
Jesus was holding a tower in each hand because deep in Brooklyn, you'll find a lot of guys that have Jesus tattoos with the twin towers.
Thank God Jesus is ambidextrous so he could hold each tower with equal strength.
Yeah, but my only question is, did the towers fall through the holes in his hand?
My question is, were you prancing around Bay Ridge with the chain out yesterday?
Yeah, no, cuz.
When I walked in the salty dog, and it was two packs, and I walked to the Wicked Monk,
and I took the chain out.
Cuz, I'm lightheaded.
I need an Impossible Burger.
Yeah, cuz, you gotta...
They're vegetarian and healthy.
Mike has a Slurpee.
Yeah, Mike...
So we need to talk about Mike about nutrition again.
Yeah.
Cuz you can't have a Slurpee.
No, because, Mikey, what are you doing?
You're from San Antonio.
I know you probably shopped at 7-Eleven and had a few too many Slurpees.
While we were being cuties with smoothies, you were being fatties with a Slurpee.
Yeah.
Because what are you doing with a fucking Slurpee before 1230 p.m.?
That's all I've had today.
Yeah.
Well, you need a little sugar, right?
Yeah.
I'm a little lightheaded.
All I've had is an apple. I need an impossible. Yeah. Well, how about, little sugar, right? Yeah. I'm a little light-headed. All I've had is an apple.
I need an impossible.
Yeah, well, how about, listen, why don't you just, somebody, we'll go get some fucking
food and eat it in this fucking studio, and nobody's going to do anything to us, because
anybody, the people that run this podcast, one, you know, one's a fucking, I'll throw
them right down the stairs.
Yeah.
Bobby, I'll punch him in the stomach and his shorts will fall down like Mike Tyson's punch
out.
And Liz will just read her reviews to her on iTunes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I can't even look you in the eyes because the glisten off your chain is distracting me.
Because when I got my chain out, make no mistake, I got a fucking few opinions.
Yeah.
I don't know whether you're about to throw me a fastball because you know a lot of relievers,
they pull the chain out.
Yeah.
Because you're-
I got a chain out.
Because you're a fucking guido.
Yeah.
I'm a guido now, kid. I need a haircut. Yeah. You also need to be. Because you're a fucking guido. Yeah, I'm a guido now, kid.
I need a haircut.
Yeah, you also need to be marched up to a hill and put down.
Put down.
Because we're the history hyenas.
We're fucking coming for your kills.
Yeah, because there's a, if you look at, follow the Bay Ridge History Instagram account on
Instagram, they're going to have a talk on Wednesday about how Bay Ridge became Bay Ridge.
We got to be there. We're going to do it for the Patreon members. We'll film it. Go talk on Wednesday about how Bay Ridge became Bay Ridge. We've got to be there.
We're going to do it for the Patreon members.
We'll film it.
Go to patreon.com slash bayridgeboys.
I thought they were going to have a meeting
about cleaning up Fifth Avenue.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
Yeah, there's two types of meetings.
There's history meetings in Bay Ridge
for FFs like us,
and then there's other meetings
that go down in the backs of pizzerias,
and a lot of people got their chains out
on that meeting.
They got their chains out.
They figured out ways to buy up some properties
and convert them to make them cleaner.
Yeah, cleaner.
They talk about different kinds of history.
The glory days mean different things
to different groups of people.
Yeah, it's a character piece
that involves Italians and Irish
and a scattering, a smathering of Norwegians
that are a little upset that the neighborhood's changed.
Yeah, this is Patrick Marooni, Loud 14,
coming to you on Live Audio Podcast.
I don't know if you guys saw,
but I finally saw fucking that show Saturday Night Live
finally getting good.
They finally hired a kid who knows what he's talking about,
Shane Gillis.
That's a funny kid right there.
Yeah, Loud 14.
I've been watching the show now because the kid Shane Gillis is a funny kid. He's, loud funny kid I've been watching the show I've been watching the show now
Because the kid Shane Gillis
Is a funny kid, you know
He's saying things
That people really need to hear
Yeah, I mean
The kid obviously works over
At the firehouse
Shane Gillis is getting
To see a firefight
And get some skit work
Yeah, the kid gets some skit work
And then it's nice
It's nice to see the fucking kids
Coming out of the woodwork
You know, supporting him
Who just, you know
Who want their names
To go viral in articles
Shout out Louis Gomez
Yeah, right now We want to say hello supporting him who just want their names to go viral in articles. Shout out Louis Gomez.
Yeah. Right now we want to say hello to all the Hyena fans
who have been listening and who have been making more
Hyena spread in the word. We also want
to say hello to whatever internet blogger
may be tuning in right now. Yes.
After me and Chrissy got hired for something.
Yes. Hi, how are you? How was your day?
We know you're sitting there in your little apartment.
Okay, you got three roommates right now and you're definitely eating Sabra hummus with carrots as you're perusing these podcasts for slurs.
Now, let me just save you a little time.
You're not going to have to search too far.
Just keep listening to this podcast because they are a come man.
Yeah, they're coming, and it's just, it doesn't matter.
With the chain out, I think it's inevitable.
Yeah, it's fucking, it's just what's going to happen, okay?
So, yeah, listen.
Here's the truth of the situation, okay?
I, if you guys don't know, Shane Gillis, friend of the show, great comedian.
Happy to see him get SNL.
Thank, you know, he's a really funny fucking kid.
He said some slurs about Asians on a podcast two years ago.
Some FF Seth Simon, I believe his name was.
There was a few of them.
Yeah, these kids, they dug through the trash to find the stuff.
It's whatever.
Yeah, you can't say those words, but it's also like it's a podcast.
He's a comedian, whatever, whatever.
I don't think for a fucking second, not for a second,
that Lorne Michaels and the people on SNL did not know that that was already out.
Hired the other first Asian hire, Bowen Yang.
Also, congrats to him.
I've never met him, but heard good things about the kid.
Congrats to him that they didn't all know that this was going to happen and create a controversy and a stir to get eyes and ears and get people writing about the upcoming season of SNL.
I think that the machine of SNL, they know how to,
any press is good press,
so you can't convince me
that they didn't already know
this was out.
Yeah,
Lauren's a screwed in kid.
He's a screwed in kid
and this kid who we hired,
Seth Simon,
he probably fucking hired this kid
and he's just an FF
that's yelling about shit
but it's like he's probably
getting money
from the SNL machine.
Yeah,
because Melissa Vesignor,
she also got in trouble
for something.
Villa Signore?
Villa Signore.
What did she say? She said something and she got in trouble when she something. Villa Signore? Villa Signore. What did she say?
She said something.
She got in trouble when she got hired.
She's a Latina woman.
She's a Latina woman.
So it's like, yeah.
What was it, Mikey?
It was insensitive tweets, like racial jokes and tweets.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Trevor Noah had a few as well.
He's a black kid from South Africa.
Yeah, it's just nobody cares.
The bottom line is nobody cares.
It's all part of the story.
Genuinely, nobody cares.
Nothing's going to happen to Shane.
He's not going to get booed.
He's very funny.
So I would expect him to do exceptionally well on the show.
But the bottom line is, the truth is, nobody cares.
I was at the Wicked Monk yesterday in Bay Ridge talking to some girls.
And you also, Wicked Monk is a place where a lot of scholars frequent.
I mean, it's like a real Harvard bar.
Yeah, it's a Harvard bar.
And I was talking to a couple of girls.
And they started talking about the Louis C.K. thing and their consensus opinion
was if a guy's jerking off
on the phone,
you hang up
and if a guy's jerking off
in front of you
and he's not blocking the door,
then you throw him
out a window.
Then you throw him
out a window
and you just leave.
Yeah.
Because most,
it's all bullshit.
We're living in such,
as soon as all this stuff
came out with Shane
and I was like,
you know,
you guys are getting involved.
You went outside and started staring down Chinese.
Yeah, because it's like, oh, tweet if you support.
Thank you, Zach.
Tweet if you support Shane.
It's like, yeah, I do support Shane.
It's all bullshit.
If you tweet something out, it's all bullshit.
It's like you're just feeding this thing that's not real.
Nothing's going to happen.
They also took it out of context.
And also, it's obviously not really about the morality
because if it was
then they would've
had this story come out
before he got hired
for SNL
like if you're
first of all
if you're a professional
if you cover comedy
professionally
yeah
you're basically
that's the open mic
scene for journalists
yeah you're a loser
you're an open mic
journalist
yeah
okay
but if you're covering comedy,
aren't you supposed to be doing field research?
Aren't you supposed to be writing these articles
before there's a big hire?
Why did you wait for him to get hired at SNL
in order for this to come out?
And another thing is listen.
Listen.
Jokes exist in context.
Right.
Okay, imagine context.
Good or bad jokes? Good or bad jokes?
Good or bad jokes?
Mike's wiping,
by the way,
Mike's wiping off
the laptop screen.
So you know what happened
on that laptop screen
early this morning
or late last night
when the kid has to wipe it off.
Yeah, he shot some of his glue
from there.
Yeah, the kid was gluing
on the fucking laptop screen.
It's what it is.
It's just what it is.
Got Slurpee on it.
Yeah, he got some Slurpee on it.
Whatever you say.
Is that what you call
your toothpaste these days?
Yeah. Yeah, cuz you're a turkey with a Slurpee. That's what, he got some Slurpee on it. Whatever you say. Is that what you call your toothpaste these days? Yeah.
Yeah, cuz.
You're a turkey with a Slurpee.
That's what it's around.
You're a turkey with a Slurpee.
A turkey with a Slurpee.
I like it.
Yeah, a turkey with a Slurpee.
And then for my fitness fans, do some burpees, get a Slurpee.
Or you're a burpee with a Slurpee.
We would love to have some of our plus-size fans send us turkeys with a Slurpee.
Yeah, just be turkey with a Slurpee.
Show us your fucking fat gobblekeys with a Slurpee. Yeah, just be turkey with a Slurpee. Show us your fucking
fat gobble chin
with a Slurpee.
Chris, we're just
New York kids.
We're just funny kids.
We're just funny,
screwed-in kids.
I gotta pee again.
I have an STD.
Yeah, and I need
the Impossible Burger.
Yeah, Giannis may go down.
I may go down.
I'm a little light-headed.
Oh, I have an apple.
You may have to move
your seat behind Gianni.
Yeah.
You may have to lay down
and be the Nets.
Yeah, because I know
you had a few of those cupcakes at Sergio's birthday party.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
His birthday cake was snowballs and ring dates.
Yeah.
Was it truly?
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Did he do any cocaine in his own bathroom?
Not that he let us know.
Were there any pieces?
Because Puerto Ricans, they have pieces in their family.
Were there a couple of pieces?
None that were there.
Did you breathe on anybody?
Yeah, but not on purpose.
Yeah.
I love Mike Emoji.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a good fucking kid.
Great kid.
And he gets it unlike...
He burps.
Yeah, he burps.
Does he get it?
Zachy, yeah.
So jokes exist in context.
Good or bad jokes, that's where they live in context.
You can consider context like water and jokes are like fish.
Keep the fucking fish in the water.
You can't take a joke out of context.
You ever talk to somebody and they try to tell you something funny that someone else said
and then it doesn't work and they go, ah, you had to be there?
You had to be there basically means the joke's out of context.
You weren't there.
That's what a professional comedian is.
Jokes exist in context on the podcast in that moment.
When you try to retell it, it's not a joke anymore.
It's a statement.
So just leave comedians alone.
You're an open mic journalist.
Stay the fuck away.
I understand you've created a job for yourself because all the important jobs are taken writing about important stuff.
But we are just
fucking clowns and you
are acting like the snitch in the front of
the class. Do you understand?
You're not going to stop us. The people
don't care. There's enough of you
because there's not a lot of real jobs out
there and you don't want to work a real job.
So there's enough of you to retweet
and like and comment on each other's posts.
And that's why you think there's a scene out there that cares about this shit.
Nobody cares.
Nobody fucking cares.
This is America.
People can say what they want.
And the heartbeat of a free nation is uncensored comedy.
Do you know what I'm playing right now?
What are you playing?
The German National Anthem.
That's not what I thought it was.
Yeah, because, cuz, you're making some German points right now.
No, I'm not.
You're just fucking kamikaze-ing me with a German National Anthem.
I don't want it.
I wanted you to play the Stars and Stripes.
Germany.
No, cuz.
Cuz, welcome to the hike.
No.
I need a...
Thank you.
A lot of 14.
I always know... A lot of 14. Yeah, the thing about Zach is it's pretty simple to the hike. No. I need a... Thank you. A lot of 14. I always know...
A lot of 14.
Yeah, the thing about Zach is it's pretty simple to figure out.
We've been doing this podcast over a year.
We love Zach.
We like Mike Emoji Face.
They're part of this podcast.
We love him.
And when Venetia's not here, it does go off the rails.
I've been getting texts from people in the business who listen.
We got real fans, like executives in the business, who text me, and they say,
When Venetia's not there, the party's still great, but it goes off the rails.
They're like, Venetia, please come back.
We're dope cool.
Dope cool, Venetia.
I need one of Yaya's cookies.
Stat.
Yeah.
Yeah, Venetia's just, we just got to get used to her
not being around because she's a part-time intern.
It's what it is.
She's a jet-setting millennial.
She's mad dope.
She's mad dope and she agrees to handling
real important business on the beach,
sipping frappe.
Yeah, she was like, I have some important business,
but I'm not leaving.
I'll be back.
And then she was picture for at the beach.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
She's like, but I'm working.
I'm fucking working.
I got a lot of family business, dope shit, cool,
and fucking work to do on Mykonos at the nightclub.
That's where I got to do a lot of work.
Yeah, Mykonos at the nightclub.
But Tia, put your fucking profile on private
and stop posting bikini pics
because our hyena fans
cannot be controlled.
All you need to know to know that I'm telling the truth is go to HeyBirds fucking Instagram
and you'll see what they say.
It's what it is.
They can't be stopped.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is what I was about to say about Zach Isis.
Mikey like it, don't love it.
Yeah.
Do we love it, guys?
Yeah, that's what she calls Mikey.
Mikey like it, don't love it.
Love it.
Mikey like it.
Mikey like it, don't love it. Love it, like it, like it, like it.
This is how I know when Zach's on point.
It's like when I'm thinking the way Zhang Jing button should come and he hits it,
that's when you know the kid's got a clear head
and he's finished his album.
If he's in the middle of his album,
he's always a little distracted.
So he's got a lot of distractions.
They're on his hands and in his brains
because the kid's got mad rhymes in his dome.
It's what it is.
Yeah, cuz.
Yeah.
How was your weekend?
I know you went to Idaho, so there was at least four chicks who got banged up.
No, it was Iowa.
It was Iowa.
Yeah.
Same shit.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah.
No, a couple.
Yeah, it's just what happened.
Why don't they just combine Iowa and Idaho and call it nobody cares?
Des Moines, Iowa was fucking cute.
Kansas City was fucking cute.
I was with the great Sal Vulcano, who's just the best.
And yeah, I did a little jog around Des Moines,
and I took a picture with the state capitol,
Christie State Capitals,
and it was just a good time.
I got fucking hammered,
because I've been throwing them back a little bit.
You have a drinking problem.
I got hammered Friday and Sunday.
Because you got a drinking problem. I went out to Friday and Sunday. Because you got a drinking problem.
I went out to have brunch with Hebert
yesterday at the Wicked Monk, and I just wanted to have a
fucking egg wrap, and I had, it's called
Awaken Bake. It was Kahlua,
coffee, and almond milk or something
like that, and I had one, and then one of the
bartenders is a big Bay Ridge Boys fan.
Shout out. Thank you for your
service for watching the Bay Ridge Boys.
She's going to get cracked open. She's going to get cracked open. She's got no feelings. She's going to Boys. Yeah, she's going to get cracked open and cleaned out.
She's going to get cracked open.
Yeah, she's got no feelings.
She's going to get punched through.
She's going to get punched through.
And she bought me a vodka soda.
And I was like, I'll just have this.
And I said, I got to go home and take a nap.
And then the vodka soda and the coffee hit me.
And then I said, we're staying.
Yeah.
And then it turned into five hours.
And things got out of hand.
Yeah.
Yeah, things got out of hand.
I was surrounded by toots
and then I was surrounded by liquor
and I was like,
I'm not going to eat carbs.
And then I-
And you started hitting
Hey Bert with batteries?
Yeah.
No, you can't do that.
It's a joke character piece.
Yeah, and then my chain came out
and my chain of my-
If my chain of my jaw come out,
it's a problem.
It's a problem, yeah.
So what happened was
is my chain of my jaw were out
and then people started
getting punched through.
Yeah.
And it's just what it is.
It's low-key ass.
It's low-key ass.
So I was hammered
and I called you
and you were looking at houses.
I was looking at him.
Because make no mistake,
you're a capital FF lately.
Yeah, I am a capital FF
and I'm trying to become
a homeowner
just so my wife can be happy.
Yeah, you're a homeowner.
Mrs. Pappas wants a him.
You're a homeowner.
If we were in South Jersey,
we're going to go find a him. South Jersey? No, I thought we were going to North Carolina a him. You're a homo. If we were in South Jersey, we're going to go find a him.
South Jersey?
No, I thought we were going to North South.
No, no, I'm just saying if we were in South Jersey, they would say him.
Oh, we're going to go find a him.
They're going to have some water and we go him.
Get him.
Now, did you find a house?
We did.
We're going to put an offer in.
Don't say the neighborhood, but is it upstate there?
It's upstate.
I'll tell you what Mrs. Pappas said.
What did Mrs. Pappas say?
She said, give it about six months and the next thing you know, Chrissy's going to be living on this hill as well. It's upstate. And I'll tell you what Mrs. Pappa said. What did Mrs. Pappa say? She said, give it about six months, and the next thing you know,
Chrissy's going to be living on this hill as well.
It's what it is.
I said, the kid, yeah, he's a codependent kid who can't live without Yanni.
Yeah, I need to live with Yanni.
First I was in Park Slope, and then you were around the corner somehow.
Yeah.
And then I moved to Bay Ridge, and somehow you showed up with a baby's mom and a kid.
It's what it is.
It's what's going on.
Because if you think you're not going to buy a house on a hill,
and I'm going to come there every weekend and roll down with my daughter, you got another thing coming.
If you don't think I'm going to buy that house with just an acre of land and I'm going to invite Mike Emoji face up to mow the lawn because he's Mexican, you got another thing coming.
Yeah.
Because Mikey's doing a lot of part-time jobs.
That's going to be one of them.
Yeah.
Because, yeah, Mikey's good with the subtitles.
His price is a little steep, but he's good with the subtitles.
But I just Venmo the kid because he just gets the work done
yeah because we're just menvo we're not professional employers we don't know who we're paying or when
yeah i mean if these kids wanted to get double their pay all they'd have to say is send me
another hundred because we forgot we just send them what yeah and i'll send you whatever you
need yeah i just don't know i don't i'm not keeping records of it all we also haven't paid
our taxes yet on patreon so we're just gonna go to jail it's what it is because you haven't
gelled your hair.
Your hair is moving and flopping.
Yeah, my hair is fucking wild.
I've been no hair gel.
I have to get a haircut because my barber out there, shout out Panache Bayridge, he's
getting married, so he's out.
And he's always closed Sundays and Mondays because Italian kids don't work Sundays and
Mondays.
They don't.
Italian kids don't work Mondays.
I texted him.
I was like, because today's a Monday.
And I was like, are you open to cut hair?
And he said, cuz, how many times are you going gotta tell you i don't work mondays yeah he just
needs to remind you that you're not up on an italian schedule yeah listen i got a real fucking
urge to march you up to a hill just because i want you to be put into a ditch and then when they find
your body in a hundred years like an egyptian mummy yeah it's just that uh it's just a skeleton
with a chain around it yeah just what it is and i go yeah, it must have been an Italian kid that died up here.
And I was like, no, he's not an Italian kid,
although he pretended to be for the first six years of his comedy.
Yeah, it's comedy career.
And I love that.
Yeah, for me, it's like in 100 years,
you would find the skeleton and chain,
and my butt still wouldn't be completely decomposed.
Yeah, because if we put down this podcast,
and we all dug a ditch and shot each other into it,
they'd be able to know, they'd be able to identify the bodies of which podcast died there
because Mikey would have a Slurpee right next to his head.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Isis would still have tattoos on his mummified hands.
Yeah.
And there'd be a chain around a skeleton and then I would just have full pause.
Yeah.
So it's just what it is. Yeah, you would just know what it is. Yeah. Yeah, you'd have a chain around a skeleton and then I would just have full pause. Yeah, so it's just what it is.
Yeah, you would just know what it is.
Yeah, you'd have a full pause.
And they'd know exactly which podcast died there.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
We have no topic for today, right?
Because we were supposed to talk to this kid.
Is this kid?
At one o'clock, it'll be seven in Germany.
Okay, so we were a little early.
We'll call this fucking, what's his name?
Our fucking June?
Yeah, and I guarantee you
since if he is German
and we're calling Germany,
I guarantee you
he picks up right on the dot.
Hello.
Perfect timing.
Yes.
Because if you're like
30 seconds late in Germany,
that's like offensive
to the Germans.
It's very offensive
to the Germans.
Yeah, we have to do more
Max and Stubbins
for our German fans
because we're huge in Germany.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're big kids in Germany.
Yeah, because when we were walking around Germany, you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're big kids in Germany. Yeah, because when we were
walking around Germany,
you had no magical powers.
Yeah, I did not.
You actually look like
an ugly kid in Germany.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm smaller.
The girls,
they didn't understand
we were hanging out
with the firefighters
and some girl who was taller than me
but hot,
she was initially interested
and then she's like,
what do you do for work?
And I was like,
I do comedy.
She goes,
what do you do for will work?
Yeah, they just don't get it. I make people laugh. She's like, I don't, but are i was like i do comedy she goes what do you do for real work yeah i was like i make people laugh she's like i don't but are you with the
firefighters because you know what i realized about you yeah you look like a leading man in a soft
core porn yeah that's the kind of looks you got you think so yeah yeah like if i turn on skin
max yeah you're the guy who's stroking yeah yeah with the hiding the legs so nobody can see your
yeah yeah yeah that's where you belong
That's
Yeah on soft core point
You belong in soft core point
Yeah but the thing is with me
Cause I'm embarrassed
To take my shirt off
I would just do all the scenes
With my shirt on
You
Yeah cause your jaw just pops out
Yeah it's what it is
Yeah cause
While we're waiting for fucking Arjun
Should we read the newest members
Of the Patreon
Absolutely
Okay Patreon
These people went to
Patreon.com
Slash Bay Ridge Boys
We encourage you guys
To make up funny names Cause they make us laugh And it's just good for the podcast and we read them out.
So you might as well.
If you don't want to make up a name and you're just here for the content, then we just say your name and then we say you're straight to the back.
Yeah, because you're going to the back of the video store just to the porn section and you want to hide and put your hat down and that's what it is.
So these people went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
Here we go.
First up, Mugi Mike Emoji.
Could catch it?
Catch it, Tori.
I mean, we have a situation with the Patreon name now.
Yeah, it's funny.
Because we can't put everyone in the Hall of Fame.
So what are we going to do?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
Then we got Josh, probably Potato Monkey, but I'm not sure because my mother had a situation.
Irish kid. Irish kid.
Irish kid.
Welcome to the fucking Patreon.
Then we got this one we read already.
We read to each other, but it's an all-star one.
Giannis had said that this name could potentially be number one and shut it down.
This one is Mike Punching Through Shooting Goo Where You Poo Dominique.
Yeah, that's number one.
Yeah.
Repeat it for me again. Mike Punching Through Shooting Goo Where where you poo, Dominic. Yeah, that's number one. Yeah. Repeat it for me again.
Mike, punching through, shooting goo where you poo, Dominic.
Yeah.
I mean, because if that's not the fucking Michael Jordan of Patreon member names, I don't know.
Isis, what's your fucking verdict on how funny that is?
Full explosion.
That's a full fucking explosion.
Yeah.
I mean, the kid went to full legs to come up with that one.
Okay.
Then we got Frank from Brooklyn, but takes a year to plan a night out in the city.
For originality, I'm giving him 10.
We need judges in here.
Then we got straight to the back, Rob Mendoza.
Yeah, straight to the back.
Straight to the back, Francisco Aldama.
Yeah, I'm just here for the porn.
Then we got, this guy's name is GG12.
GG12.
Well, he's kind of here for the content, but he's a kid who definitely is a registered sex offender.
Then we got, yeah, then we got Bonnie Give Me Headley.
Good one.
Yeah, love Bonnie Give Me Headley.
Yeah, a lot of 14.
A lot of 14.
Then I got Vito, I got a situation with the mother SpaghettiOs.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
Oh, God.
Then we got Donald the Farmer.
Donald the Farmer.
That kid's a good one.
Yeah.
Then we got Alyssa got a situation with the father.
Alyssa's got a situation with the father.
All right.
Then we got Chris straight to the back.
One name.
Yeah.
Here for the content.
Then we got Jimmy the Fumeless Armo.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
You know how a lot of guys were born into the era that Jordan was?
Yeah.
I'm just going to call him Clyde Drexler.
He's Clyde Drexler.
Because ordinarily, he'd win a championship, but we got to shoot and goo and to poo.
Yeah.
Then we got Sam, like my coffee, Leroy, but not my men, ladder 14, Falcone.
Ladder 14.
Yeah.
Chris Falcone?
Yeah.
I know that guy.
Sam, I like my coffee, Leroy, not my men, ladder 14, Falcone.
Oh, Sam.
Sam.
Okay.
That is fucking...
This is an all-star team.
Then this guy's name is AtBallSoup.
Okay?
Okay.
He gave his Instagram name.
Okay, yeah.
AtBallSoup.
Kid screwed in, just putting his IG up there.
He's just going up there, following him on IG.
AtB-A-L-L-S-O-U-P.
Okay.
Then we got B-DogDebs.
B-DogDebs.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't know.
You know, here for the content.
Here for the content.
Yeah.
Then I got BrendanCanIGetAWaterSmith.
Yeah. And he spelled water W-A-U-D-A. Yeah, good one. He the content. Here for the content. Yeah. Then I got Brendan, can I get a water Smith? Yeah.
And he spelled water W-A-U-D-A.
Yeah, good one.
He's just born in the wrong era.
Yeah.
Then we got DJ, the Yamin, but a low-key FF.
Good one.
Good one.
Brought back the Yamin.
Then we got Patrick, here for the content.
Yeah, I'm here for the content.
Straight to the back.
I'm a firefighter, yeah.
And then we got David Marks, here straight to the back.
Screwed in, here for the content.
And Cham Wolfpack, screwed in straight here for the content And Cham Wolfpack
Screwed in straight here for the content
I mean that is
I mean we're talking about maybe
That's the first American basketball dream team right there
Yeah
Jesus Christ
Yeah patreon.com slash play rich boys
These people went and had a good time
Yeah what we're going to have to start doing
Is start breaking up into different categories
We're going to have to involve originality
Before we call this Arjun
Okay if it burns just scream out
Yeah it's what it is.
I'll leave the door open so guys can hear my flow.
Yeah, because the chain is fucking, it's shimmering off the lights in here.
Yeah, we're going to have to just start doing originality points.
We're going to have to break it up into different categories because funny is just not enough now
because there's so many funny ones.
We're going to have to start going with originality.
So we really got a situation with the Patreon names.
While Chrissy's peeing
we're also brought to you
as always by
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our
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There's one more.
Who did I forget?
The doctor.
Doctor who? Oh, it's not in
there? Oh,
Cedra Azizi.
Yeah. He's our new guy. This kid
is the best. I mean, this kid is a screwed-in
sneakerhead, and he's a doctor. Give it
up for our newest sponsor to close
out our sponsor section on
Patreon. Cedra Azizi.
He's a New York-based GI doctor.
He's got a YouTube channel that you gotta check out where he mostly talks about sneaker
history and inspirational topics along with goofy medical education and advice videos
for aspiring healthcare students and the general public.
So you don't got to be a fucking screwed-in kid, smart kid to enjoy his videos.
He's also a new toot trying comedy.
What doesn't this kid do?
Yeah, what doesn't this kid fucking do?
Okay, so go check out his stuff and follow Dr. Souls on Instagram, YouTube, podcast apps, whatever,
and his website, drsandraazizi.com, D-R-S-A-D-R-A-A-Z-I-Z-I.com.
And the kid is wild looking.
You ever look at this kid?
No.
I mean, the kid's got a stache and he's wild.
Yeah.
So he's a funny kid.
He's a GI doctor. We appreciate you
and thank you for your service.
Cedra Azizi. What it is.
That's what it is, guys.
Alright, let's call Arjun. Yeah, let's call Arjun.
This is interesting, guys.
Now, a little backstory. I started
following Arjun because I'm obsessed with
hyenas and I reached out to him
and he said he'd love to come on the podcast
and talk about his project.
Hello? Hello. Is this Arjun
Deer? Yeah, Arjun.
Hey. Hey, Arjun. How you doing, man?
Sorry I mispronounced it. I'm an FF from
New York City. Sometimes my accent
gets in the way. Yeah. You're on
the podcast live with Chris DiStefano,
Giannis Pappas. We are the History Hy Yeah. You're on the podcast live with Chris DiStefano, Giannis Pappas.
We are the History Hyenas.
We are obsessed with hyenas, and we are so excited to have you on the podcast.
I got my pseudo-penis tucked back, ready to hear what you have to say.
Awesome.
I'm glad we finally got it to work out.
I'm looking forward to talking to you guys.
First, I want to ask you, man, are you okay?
Because I saw you posted in your stories that you were in the hospital.
Oh, yeah.
I had, it was crazy.
I was on my way to a friend's birthday party, and I had an attack of appendicitis, which
is super bad timing.
But I'm okay now.
Yeah, it was just, it was an overnight stay in the ER, which was kind of unexpected, but
everything's good.
Chris, did you get your appendix removed?
Yeah, because Chris is a physical therapist.
No, it was actually a, it was actually a partial inflammation,
so the duct wasn't totally blocked.
It wasn't completely screwed up.
So they gave me antibiotics, and I'm okay now.
Wow, and you were in a lot of pain, though, right, for something like that?
Oh, my God.
It felt like someone stabbed me in the stomach.
It was so bad, especially on the right side, which is, I guess, where the appendix is.
Yeah.
It hurt so much.
I was doubled over, and it was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced.
Well, we're glad you're okay, man.
Yeah, we're glad you're okay.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Do hyenas have appendixes?
I don't think so, no.
Yeah, yeah.
Because my understanding is that they're sort of vestigial,
in humans at least, because our primate ancestors
needed them for digesting leaves or something like that.
Yeah.
And now they're just there.
Yeah.
Appendixes, they're not necessary anymore, like the Democrats.
You sound like
an American kid. You're from North America?
Yeah, I'm from
Maryland, actually.
I'm from Germany, but
I'm from Maryland. Oh, you're from Maryland.
I went to school at American University,
so I'm familiar with Maryland.
Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, so you know the Baltimore
accent and everything. Yeah, and I grew up in the United States of America, so I'm'm familiar with Maryland. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, so you know the Baltimore accent and everything.
Yeah, and I grew up in the United States of America, so I'm also familiar with Maryland.
Yeah.
Yeah, just because you went to school there.
It's just we've all heard of Maryland, Yanni.
Oh, okay, I was just trying to connect with the kid, Chris.
Yeah, well, I'm connected with him already because he lives in Germany.
Yeah, so can you tell us a little bit about the Hyena Specialist Group and what you guys
are doing?
Yeah, so, well, the Hyena Specialist Group is basically under the IUCN,
the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.
And the IUCN has different specialist groups for different types of animals, basically.
So there's the Hyena Specialist Group, there's the Chameleon Specialist Group,
there's the Cat Specialist Group, the Dog Specialist Group.
So the Hyena Specialist Group, we are one of the smaller groups
because there's not many hyena researchers out there,
and there's not many types of hyenas left in the world.
In the cat specialist group, is there a guy named Uncle Russell in there?
No, no.
There's no Uncle Russell?
Okay, yeah.
If you see my Uncle Russell in there, just tell him to call me, and, yeah, I'm not invited to thank you. Yeah, his Uncle Russell's a cat yeah If you see my Uncle Russell there Just tell him to call me
Yeah, I'm not invited to Thanksgiving
His Uncle Russell's a cat judge
Like a professional cat judge
Yeah
Oh, wow
Like Showcats or something?
Yeah, Showcats
Yeah, he's an FF that
Yeah, he's just a
He's a cat judge
But he makes a lot of money
Travels all over the world
You know, the way you love hyenas
He loves Sphinx cats
Yeah Sphinx cats.
Sphinx cats, okay. That's exotic.
That's what it is.
Now, hyenas,
I know the important part of what you do is trying to raise
awareness about hyenas and
to conserve their habitat, right? Because
their habitat is being
threatened because of humans, right?
Yeah.
Hyenas, there's four types of hyenas.
The one I work with is the spotted hyena.
That's our favorite.
One of the most famous species.
Yeah.
And, yeah, they're not classified as endangered, per se,
but they are declining.
And, you know, as you guys know,
they have a horrible public image or reputation,
so they get screwed over a lot.
But they're actually nice kids. It's hard because they're ugly and stupid basically yeah we think they're they're
beautiful they're fascinating they're they're unique and it's absolutely just fascinating that
they're they kind of look like cats or dogs but they're not they're not um they don't share a
lineage with them right right? Right, right.
Yeah, it is interesting.
I mean, they are under the order of carnivora,
so they're related to cats and dogs
in the sense that bears are also related to cats and dogs
or raccoons are related to cats and dogs,
but hyenas are in their own family.
It's called hyena day.
So it's distant.
And it surprises a lot of people
that they're actually more closely related to cats than to dogs.
Because they're built a bit like dogs, but they're closer to cats.
Right.
Now, and the way they eat their food is they eat the food, consume it, then throw it up, and they eat their own puke.
Is that true?
That's one way of putting it.
I mean, it's not exactly.
They do produce what are called pellets, like the way owls produce pellets.
They'll vomit up the fur and the bones of their prey.
And then they will often eat it again just because, you know, why let it go to waste?
Because, I mean, they have super strong stomach acid that can break down bones and get calcium and phosphorus from them.
So they're very economical in that sense. Very, and also unique in that sense because is there
another animal that actually can digest
bones and chew
them?
In terms of the
carnivores that we have today,
hyenas are unmatched. They're super specialized
to do that, and they're really doing well.
If you've seen a hyena skull,
it's insane how huge
their premolars are, the teeth towards the back of the skull, and they've got, like, a hyena skull, it's insane, like, how huge their premolars are, you know, the teeth towards the back of the skull.
And they've got this huge, fragile crest on their skull.
So it's like a sledgehammer when they're chewing bones.
Do they have the strongest bite in the wild?
Is that a fact?
No, it's sort of been exaggerated.
I mean, they do have exceptionally strong bites for their size.
But, I mean, in absolute terms, a crocodile has a stronger bite.
What the hyena has is they've got the musculature and the dentition to really crush the bones and pulverize them and then swallow them.
And then they have really acidic stomach acid, which breaks it down.
So they're really, they're probably the most streamlined animals for just consuming bones, I would say.
Yeah.
talking about streamlined animals for just consuming bones i would say yeah um i my friend was on a safari and you know he's um in in africa and he loves uh you know he's a fan of our podcast
and you know he's a friend of mine from home he said that dahinas they have a very particular
smell too like they you can smell them out of the other animals like and the tour guy talked about
their smell is that something you deal with yeah yeah they they have a really weird smell so they
produce this thing called paste or or as some people call it, hyena butter.
Kind of a gross name.
Yeah, or hyena goo.
It smells like burning soap, in my opinion, if you can imagine that.
It's a really weird description, I know.
But it's a really strange smell, and it's very pungent.
I wouldn't even say it's a bad smell.
It's just very distinct.
And what's its purpose?
You can smell them from far away.
What's the purpose of it?
Basically, they use it for communication.
So every hyena clan, so they live in social systems called clans,
and every hyena clan has sort of its own scent signature.
So they use it to identify one another and then send chemical messages.
So they'll rub this paste, which comes from the anal glands,
on tree stalks or grass or rocks and things like that.
And then when hyenas are traveling, they can smell these things and say,
okay, this hyena was here at this time, and they're doing okay, or whatever.
Right. Now, you can also call it a cackle, right?
A clan or a cackle, or is clan the way to go?
Clan is, I guess, the biological term.
Cackle is sort of more casual, but I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
And it's also a matriarchy-dominated society, right?
The women are at the top, which we support.
Yeah.
They are progressive.
This is something interesting.
I don't want to be like that guy, but it's not exactly true.
Okay.
The males can actually even be in the alpha position.
Yes, yeah.
Which is important to a lot of people because hyenas are, hyenas are sort of seen as an icon of whatever.
But it's not strictly matriarchal.
So, I mean, it's basically hyenas inherit the rank below their mothers.
So the mothers do pass down their rank in a clan.
But then the male cubs can be higher ranking than his sister.
And he'll also be higher ranking than the other females in the clan whose mothers are lower ranking than his mom.
Who's usually at the top top though?
Usually it's going to be a female.
Yes!
Yes. Which is cool. Which is cool yeah it's very progressive and the women do have penises which is right up yannis's alley right
don't the women have pseudo penises is that that's true right they have they have yeah they
have really really big clitorises that are called pseudo penises indeed yeah they're really big and
they can get erect and they can... I mean, when you
look at it, you're like, holy shit. And that's where the baby
comes out of? Does the baby come
out of that or there's a birthing canal also
somewhere else? It
comes out of that. Oh my god.
So that's open. So that...
So is there a high mortality rate
in childbirth?
It is dangerous. I mean, sometimes, you know,
the females, the younger females that were studying
who, you know, have their first cub or something,
they sometimes die.
And because it's so much blood loss
and it's got to be hella painful.
I mean, a clitoris tear in open,
that sounds rough.
Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, it's a very strange system,
but it's working.
I mean, they're doing okay
compared to other carnivores.
They're actually doing better than most.
So clearly evolution has found a way to make it useful.
Do they give birth to just usually one at a time, or is it like a litter?
Usually it's two or one.
Exceptionally, it'll be three.
But, yeah, it's not like wolves or, you know, dogs where they'll have like eight or ten.
Got it.
Now, yeah, so many questions because this is so fascinating.
I'm so fascinated by this.
The next question I wanted to ask you is, so the four hyena types, spotted, brown, striped,
and the other one is aardwolf?
That's right, yeah, aardwolf.
Now, the spotted hyena is in Africa.
Is the striped hyena in Africa as well?
The striped is in, yeah, it goes from East Africa,
but then it also is in the Middle East and all the way to India.
Right.
Now, the spotted...
And then the brown hyena is in Southern Africa,
so South Africa, Botswana, and India.
Right.
Interesting.
Yeah.
The spotted hyena is the most apex of the four. It's the most apex. Yeah. Right. Interesting. The spotted hyena is the most apex of the four.
It's the most apex.
Yeah.
The other ones...
Yeah, by far.
It's big, it's strong, it's famous, it's loud.
It's sort of like the, I don't know,
it's like the frat blood of the hyena family.
Now, the other hyenas,
how did that happen, you think, in evolution?
Were they in a more conducive environment where they didn't have to, you think, in evolution? Were they in a more conducive environment where they didn't have
to, you know,
hunt the way the spotted hyena has?
There wasn't a competition with other apex predators.
How did they morph
into being more docile, so to speak,
than the spotted hyena?
That's a good question. I mean, the main
thing is hyenas were coming up
at the same time as the big cats, essentially.
And, you know, the big canards, like wolves and African wild dogs and stuff. So hyenas were coming up at the same time as the big cats essentially and uh and you know
the big canards like wolves and african wild dogs and stuff so hyenas sort of took on a role where
they they can be predators scavengers um so spider hyenas i mean spider hyenas will scavenge right um
but um they also will hunt very well and they're super social so they live in these big groups and
they're big hyenas in general they're the biggest bodied hyenas so I
think stripes and brown which are more scavengers rather than predators as you
said they they often get displaced by spotted hyenas and then spotted hyenas
are aggressive towards them so I think they sort of had to take a more I don't
know a more subordinate role I mean they're a bit more nocturnal they're
they keep themselves they're quieter they're a bit more nocturnal. They keep themselves.
They're quieter.
They're smaller.
And they probably just couldn't carve out a niche as an apex predator because there was too much competition.
Interesting.
They became more scavengers.
That's fascinating.
The striped hyena and the aardwolf I like because they look like they got mohawks.
Those kids look like they look like that.
Oh, they're so beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're awesome.
They're gorgeous freaking kids.
Now, spotted hyenas.
I want to get to the part that everyone's fascinated by.
You know, it's sort of like the layman is fascinated by.
It's definitely the rivalry with the lions, the leopards, the apex predators.
Now, spotted hyenas, correct me if I'm wrong, like you said, they sort of employ an all-means kind of necessary type of hunting or, like you said, scavenging.
They do everything.
Whereas a leopard is predictable and hunts a certain way.
A cheetah is predictable and hunts a certain way.
A lion and so on and so forth.
Wild dogs.
But spotted hyenas, they'll steal a leopard kill.
They'll run something down.
But they're not the fastest.
They're not the biggest.
They're not the strongest.
So how would you sort of explain their modus operandi?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a great question.
I think that's one of my favorite things to work with them
because they're so unpredictable and they're so,
the word I always use is flexible.
So they can, you know, like you said,
they can hunt on their own, a single hyena can take down a wildebeest
or a zebra, but you can also get 60 hyenas taking down an elephant or a giraffe.
I mean, they just, like you said, they're not as strong as lions, they're not as stealthy as leopards,
they're not as fast as cheetahs, but they are by far the most adaptable and the most flexible,
so they find a way no matter what.
And, I mean, they'll do anything and they'll scavenge and because of that, I think it's made them so successful.
They're so pragmatic, and so they just do what works at the given time.
Yeah, it's really amazing, and those are some of my, you know, when I watch wildlife videos and documentaries,
it's just, you feel so bad, because a leopard has to – a leopard – can you hear me?
I'm sorry.
Did we lose him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm here.
A leopard works so hard for that kill.
So a leopard will work hard for that kill.
We'll get it.
And then comes along.
Dun-dun-dun.
Here he comes, a spotted hyena, and he just – the willpower.
He just keeps at it until he just steals the kill and overwhelms the leopard or shares it with the leopard.
But the leopard's always pissed off.
Sometimes the animals just give up and let the hyenas just eat with them.
Would you describe hyenas as the most tenacious killers?
Yeah, absolutely.
They're relentless.
I mean, if they're going after a leopard or a cheetah, like you said, they just will not give up.
They just keep harassing them until they give up the food.
And is it true sometimes?
And when it comes to hunting, they'll just run down their prey until it's exhausted and it can't run anymore.
Then it just eats it alive.
Amazing.
So they just don't give up.
And they're not particularly good at that.
They don't have, like you said, they don't particularly have great speed compared to other predators.
They don't particularly, like you said, they don't particularly have great speed compared to other predators. They don't particularly have a great
wind. It's like a willpower
that's just kind of like a tenaciousness.
Yeah, they can run very
far. I mean, from GPS
data, I've seen hyenas travel more than
probably
more than 25, 30 miles in a night.
So they don't tire easily, but they're
not super quick. I mean, they're not the quickest sprinters
by any means. I mean, you've see pictures that are kind of awkwardly built.
They're like Kenyans.
So they're not, like, grateful.
They're like Kenyans.
They can run distance.
Run distance, not speed.
Yeah, right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And they just do not give up.
I mean, it's kind of like a life lesson.
They're walking on a target, and they will not stop until they've got it,
which is really cool.
It's like me with toots.
Yeah, it's Chrissy with toots.
You just can't stop. Yeah. You just can't stop.
Yeah, I just can't stop. Now,
we've also heard that
lions have been observed just murdering
them in the wild. Not eating them,
just killing them. Is that something that's true?
Yeah, I've seen it myself.
It's a lot of fun in this nature, and they are
rivals, so you've got to do what works.
Hyenas are a serious threat to lion cubs.
Hyenas will kill lion cubs or even
lionesses if they can.
So they don't eat them, though?
The meal is just there. They don't even want to eat them. They just kill them.
Yeah, pretty much.
Do they eat them, though?
Will they eat them, though, lions?
If they're hungry enough?
That's not an animal they care to eat.
I've seen
one video ever
of lions actually eating hyena meat.
I don't think hyena meat tastes very good.
Just guessing.
So no animals really eat them in the wild
because they're just gross.
Their meat's gross.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, I mean, they're like, you know,
they're basically just big dumpsters walking around.
They'll eat anything.
They've probably got a lot of parasites and stuff.
Will the hyenas eat the lion? the lioness that they take down?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Will hyenas eat each other?
Hyenas will eat each other.
Oh, that's a good question.
Yeah.
They'll eat each other.
I mean, they're fucking wild, guys.
They're fucking wild.
God, they're wild.
Yeah.
Hyenas are kind of like...
They're absurd.
Yeah.
I mean, there's no rules with hyenas.
They're the Malcolm X of animals.
By any means necessary, they will take you down.
Yeah.
Now, we got to talk about the cackle,
because to us, to the human observer, it's hilarious.
You see a bunch of hyenas show up around a leopard
trying to protect a kill, and they're just cackling,
and it looks like they're just harassing them and laughing at them,
but that's not what it is, right?
Can you explain to us what exactly the hyena cackle and it looks like they're just harassing them and laughing at them. But that's not what it is, right?
Can you explain to us what exactly the hyena cackle is and what its purpose is?
Yeah, so the laughter, it is.
I mean, it is hilarious.
There's a bunch of demonic little girls giggling.
But basically, it's done when they're excited or agitated.
So it can be if they're stressed out and getting attacked by a lion, they'll start laughing.
Or if they're trying to make noise and recruit other hyenas to come to the site to get to get more help, or to or to, you know, if they're excited, and they're and they're
super amped up, and then they start giggling. And it's, I mean, it works. It's very intimidating,
actually, if you're there, like, it's super loud. And you have this wall of hyenas, like bone
crushing hyenas that can just destroy you.
It's pretty scary, and I think it has some intimidation factor as well.
If a leopard is facing that, it's quite scary.
Is that its purpose, its evolutionary purpose, you think?
Or do we not know exactly what it is?
It's basically, it's evolutionary.
Like, you know, it's sort of like they have their own language in a way.
So what the cackle means is the hyena is excited or agitated.
And it can be done like, for example, if a hyena cub is being bullied by another hyena
and it wants to get support from its mother, it'll start giggling.
And the mother will hear that.
She'll recognize her cub's voice and then come protect her cub.
Wow.
Does it give any advantage to the one who's cackling?
It's intimidating to you, but does it intimidate the leopard, you think,
and that's its purpose?
Oh, yeah, I think so.
And they also do this thing called a whoop, which is literally a whoop.
It starts low and goes high, and that definitely has a purpose.
It's also intimidation, and it's also to get support from other hyenas
who might hear that whoop from, like, five kilometers away or something.
They're calling their boys for backup.
Yeah, but if they're whooping and cackling,
will only the hyenas in that clan, like, if you're in a rival clan
and you hear that hyena whoop, is that, like,
can you identify that those are not my boys?
Yeah, yeah.
So they won't come help out rival clans. defy that those are not my boys? Yeah. They don't know.
They won't come help out rival clans.
If an alpha female doesn't whoop, a lot of hyenas
will come. They'll be like, our queen is in trouble
or our queen needs us and they'll just go running.
Yas. I like that.
Now, hyenas haze
each other. They're pretty brutal.
They're pretty brutal when they
have brothers, sisters, siblings.
A lot of times don't make it right because the brothers and sisters will kill each other.
And often the ears end up looking like four-leaf clovers
because they just chew each other's fucking ears off.
Yeah.
So when you see a hyena with the four-leaf clover ears they've been chewed off,
is that always a lower-ranking hyena or is that just a battle scar?
That's a great question. Actually, it is often the lower-ranking hyenas. The lower-ranking hyena, or is that just a battle scar? That's a great question.
Actually, it is often the lower-ranking hyenas.
The lower-ranking ones often look beaten up.
They might be missing part of their lip or not an entire ear even,
or missing an eye because they just get screwed up so much by other hyenas mostly.
And they're more likely to get screwed up because there's more hyenas that are higher-ranking than them.
So the high-ranking females or even the high-ranking males,
they look a lot more pristine, basically, even when they're older.
Now, the high-ranking females with the pseudo-penises,
do they ever just get wild and just try to bang one of the dudes in the butt with the pseudo-penis?
Yeah!
I have not seen that
that would be hilarious
but no
there's not much pegging going on in hyena society
I don't think
the hyena is the
uniques mammal on the planet
because it has a pseudo penis
it's fucking crazy
it's fucking wild
it is wild
all in all is there a reason why they developed the pseudopenis and give birth out of it?
I mean, they're the only animal on the whole planet of millions and millions of species.
I mean, we're talking, you know, have they even found any fossilized animals?
It's the only animal that maybe ever existed that's got a pseudopenis.
Yeah, like why do they have to get their pieces ripped open just to have a baby? Yeah, and why does it have a piece? It's a girl. Yeah, it's the only animal that maybe ever existed that's got a pseudo penis yeah like why do they have to get their pieces ripped open just to have a baby yeah why does it have a piece it's
a girl it's a girl it's a great question man it's kind of like why i even like got involved working
with hyenas i just find it so fascinating that they're a marvel of evolution and uh we still
don't know i mean people have been studying hyenas for a while now and and we still don't
we don't have a concrete answer why they have this thing.
There's competing theories.
I mean, some people thought it was because females had higher testosterone, but that's not true.
They don't have higher testosterone than males, so it's not a side effect of male hormones
coursing through them.
It could be due to the social purposes of it, because the pseudopenis is used as actually a flag of submission.
So when a low ranking hyena approaches a higher ranking hyena,
the low ranking one will have an erection and the higher ranking one will
sniff the low ranking hyena's penis.
Interesting.
It has this like, it has this social purpose, but, but that's not enough.
I think of a reason to evolve this thing because Because evolution wants the path of least resistance, right?
So it took a lot for the pseudopenis to develop,
and it's a costly thing because it's dangerous to have
because of the birth canal, and mating is very difficult.
So we still don't know, and it's a crazy code that we're trying to crack.
Two quick questions I have that I'm so curious about.
This is amazing to have you on the phone and have all these answers.
I'm sure our fans are loving this because through us, they've become obsessed with hyenas.
There's this one meme that's been floating around.
It's from a wildlife video where a couple of hyenas are chasing a big buffalo or something or wildebeest or whatever
and uh it's a huge one and it's maybe just two two hyenas and it's like you know that they're
not gonna be able to bring this kid down but one of the hyenas just sneaks up behind it and
and bites its balls yeah there it is and oh yeah yeah you've seen that one i saw that was is that
a premeditated move because that shows shows cunning. That's very cunning.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah, it totally is.
It totally is.
They know a buffalo's weak point.
And I've seen this in person myself.
So when you have this big, bold buffalo that's huge and you think way out of a hyena's weight class,
the hyenas know.
They're so smart.
And they know that that ball sack is a weak point.
And if you get it there, it's down on its knees.
And it works every time.
It's fair to say hyenas don't fight fair.
They do not.
No, they fight dirty.
Wow.
It's amazing.
So they will also employ deception as well?
Because I also saw another video where one hyena was walking through a bunch of resting animals of various species. and it was like a decoy and will they do things like oh yeah yeah wow yeah they'll
do that they'll sneak up i mean there's cases in the maca mara and canada of these topis it's a
type of antelope yeah and hyenas will like sneak up right behind them just nonchalantly and the
topi will like not really even pay attention and then second, the hyena will just pounce on it
and bite its ankle or knee and break the leg and take it down.
Unbelievable.
They do that.
I mean, they're very cunning, very clever.
Unbelievable, man.
Well, thank you so much for sharing your passion with us.
You're obviously very passionate about it.
We're obviously just stupid observers, but we love hyenas.
We respect them.
We think that they're beautiful.
They are gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
I mean, if you get past the smell and how ruthless they are, they're fucking cute.
Cute.
They are.
They look like a cross between a dog and a bear.
I think they're awesome.
Yeah, they are awesome.
So please, you'd like people to follow you, your work and everything, right?
So can you tell people where to follow you
and what they can do,
whatever you want to plug,
this is your time.
Okay, yeah.
If they want to check out our YouTube channel,
it's just youtube.com slash hyena project,
one word.
I'm on Instagram,
arjgeer,
A-R-J-E-H-E-E-R.
That's my personal account,
but I'm mostly posting hyenas there.
And then Twitter, I'm also there at RG Gear.
And yeah, that's basically it.
We post stuff very often.
It's not 100% hyena content, but I'd say 80% because we like to, you know, there's other animals there that are interesting.
But hyenas are definitely our brand, and that's kind of what we do.
And to me, hyenas are the star of the show.
Like, if the Serengeti or Africa
was Destiny's Child,
hyenas are definitely Beyonce.
100%.
So I don't,
yeah,
so I don't blame you
for going 80%.
I mean,
lions are fucking beautiful
and everything,
but they're not
as interesting
and as you said,
to borrow what you said,
as versatile
as hyenas.
They're unbelievable.
We will also post
where you guys can follow.
And thank you so much, man.
If you're in New York,
we would love to have you
in the studio, man.
Just contact Venetia
and let us know.
Oh, that'd be sick.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll let you know.
And keep up the good work, man.
Thank you so much for this.
We appreciate it.
Thanks, babe.
Cool, man.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot for having me.
It was a pleasure.
All right, bubs.
Thanks, brother.
All right, guys.
Bye.
Yeah.
The kids screwed in about hyenas.
I mean, that was amazing.
That was amazing. And to be honest with you,
hyenas, you know, did you go a little
because I got a little point. I went a little point and it just
sounds a lot like me. Yeah. I mean,
hyenas just me. I mean, you know, used
to throw up and throw up its food. I used to be bulimic
cackles of cackles
and giggles for its mother is wild
and it's a cross between a dog and a bear because women
call me a dog. men call me a bear.
Yeah, they are.
You know, if you want to know the true etymology of why this podcast is called what it's called, it's because me and Chrissy started joking around about, like, I always like trying to think about what kind of animal a person is.
Like, what would emoji face be?
What would emoji face be?
Yeah, what kind of – a koala bear. Yeah, it'd Face be? What would Emoji Face be? Yeah, what kind of...
A koala bear!
Yeah, he'd be a koala bear.
He'd be a koala bear.
And what would Sandra Dee over there be?
Sandra Dee, he'd be a fucking roach,
because that's what everybody in the Middle East is.
Yeah, just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, the kid has finished his album.
He's on point.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
No, I think Mikey would be...
What would Mikey be?
I don't know.
I'm thinking koala bear.
Mikey would be a sloth. And be, what would Mikey be? I don't know. I'm thinking koala bear. Mikey would be a sloth.
And Zach, what would Zach be?
Zach would be a fucking, what would he be?
I'm trying, we got to figure it out.
Well, yeah, an animal that really uses his fingers.
What animal uses his fingers?
Yeah, what animal uses his fingers?
What animal's big with the fingers?
Chip?
What are those little tiny monkeys that always steal sodas on tourists in Costa Rica?
That's ISIS.
That's ISIS.
Huh?
Is that a gaboon or something?
Maybe a gaboon.
Yeah.
Giannis is an owl.
I'm an owl.
You look like a fucking owl.
Well, actually, I look like a bird a little bit more.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a little more pigeon.
You're a little pigeon.
I think I'm a pigeon.
Yeah, you got a tiny fucking peanut head.
Yeah.
And then I'm just a hyena.
You're just a hyena.
And so that's why we ended up calling it History Hyenas, because we both realized that we were
a couple of FFs who loved history.
And I always used to joke about how wild Chris is.
He is a hyena.
He's cunning.
He's smart.
He employs manipulation.
He also plays dumb like hyenas do a lot of times.
He's also dumb as well as plays dumb.
He's a combination of things that shouldn't exist.
He's got two tits, but one's pointing the other way.
I mean, the kid's got broken feet. He doesn't make sense. He's related to dogs and bears, but distantly. He's got two tits, but one's pointing the other way. Yeah. I mean, the kid's got broken feet.
He doesn't make sense.
He's related to dogs and bears, but distantly.
He's a fucking hyena.
I'm a hyena.
Yeah.
But most importantly, I'm an FF.
You are an FF.
Because that was a good F.
And we had no plan today.
The only-
No, we did have a plan.
We just talked to this kid.
Arjun is wild.
Arjun.
Arjun is wild.
He corrected us.
Yeah, and then also, I forgot that we also booked Ryan Hamilton, so he's coming on next.
It might be a snooze fest.
I mean, the kid's funny, but you know, I forgot that we also booked Ryan Hamilton, so he's coming on next. It might be a snooze fest. I mean, the kid's funny, but, you know, I mean, it's our heaters.
Yeah, but I mean, let's be honest.
Anyone can do crowd work.
Anyone, if they decide to be clean, can be doing corporate gigs.
No, Ryan Hamilton's a funny kid now.
No, he's a funny kid.
He's a funny kid.
He's coming, and he's sitting.
And he's a virgin.
We've got to talk about it.
I think he's still a virgin, because he's a Mormon or something.
Should we just?
Well, we'll.
His Jesus is American, and I respect him for that.
Yeah, here's the thing. We're just going to ask him live on the potty waddy, and we'll see what he says. He might walk off, and he's a Mormon or something. Should we just – His Jesus is American, and I respect him for that. Yeah, here's the thing.
We're just going to ask him live on the potty waddy, and we'll see what he says.
He might walk off, and that'll be okay, too.
And that'll be okay, too.
It's just what it is.
Mike Emoji Face, we love you.
How you doing?
You been good?
I've been good.
You peeing or what?
Yeah.
Yeah, you got peeing on your laptop a little bit.
Guys, you can follow Arjun, R-A-J-U-N-D-H-E-E-R on Instagram.
Go check this kid out.
I've been following him for a while.
I just messaged him on Instagram.
I mean, he's a PhD student, and so this is what his passion is.
I think that's fucking interesting that a guy who's moved all the way out to Africa
spends all that time and watches these hyenas
because if it wasn't for people like him, we would know nothing about these animals.
We'd know nothing about our environment, and the goal is always to be in balance with nature,
which we're a little out of nature.
And I didn't know there were four types.
Yeah, there's four types.
Yeah.
The spotted hyena is the star of the show.
If you wanted to do Destiny's Child, because actually there was four of them, right?
Yeah, they are.
So it's like, yeah.
I think the striped hyena, that would be Kelly.
What was her name?
Kelly?
Yeah. You know what's funny is when someone's like, yeah. I think the striped hyena, that would be Kelly. What was her name? Kelly? Yeah.
You know what's funny is when someone's so fucking famous that you forget the names of
the other people.
Yeah.
They're basically like, it's like when you're on Google Maps and you see a person walking,
like Google Map, they do the recordings and there's a person, they blur out their face.
That's the rest of Destiny's Child.
They're just Google.
They got Google Maps faces.
It's what it is.
Yeah, because the spotted hyena is the star.
Yeah.
And I think the striped one is the second most known about,
and that would be the Kelly, whatever her name was.
Right.
What was her name?
You don't know.
Rowland.
Kelly Rowland.
Kelly Rowland.
And then the other two, who knows?
The other two is the brown hyena and the other one, the aardvark,
the aardwolf, you know,
were the other two girls that fucking nobody gives a shit about.
Yeah.
Because the spotted hyena is just they're fascinated to watch guys you got to start watching
nature documentaries and and just enjoy nature because it's wild and the hyenas i would say the
hyenas may be number one most fascinating killer because of their versatility yeah and now we are
the history hyenas and you know what i'm gonna going to get a pet hyena in Bay Ridge.
Yes!
That's what it is.
You know,
I would like to just let hyenas loose on the streets of New York City
and then we'd see how much you cared
about what Shane Gillis fucking said
on a podcast.
Yeah, nobody cares.
Shane will be fucking fine.
Nobody will care.
So where are we at, Chrissy?
Because you're texting toots.
Yeah, I'm not.
No, I'm not texting toots.
I'm texting our next guest
because he should be coming over here and I should have just said no. No, it'd be good. No, I'm not texting toots. I'm texting our next guest because he should be coming over here
and I should have just said no.
No, it'd be good.
No, it'd be great.
Where are we at?
We're at an hour and three minutes.
Oh, so we've made it to the end.
Is there anything else we're forgetting to plug?
Forgetting to plug?
Website?
I mean, historyhyenas.com.
Go get your t-shirts.
They're about to sell out.
Go get your t-shirts.
Yeah, go ahead, Mikey.
Give some plugs.
People want to hear how wet your mouth is.
Follow us at history Hyenas on Instagram,
at History Hyenas.
Make sure you go to historyhyenas.com.
That's where everything is at.
All of our merch, all of the Instagrams,
all of our social media, our clips.
Make sure you leave us a review on iTunes.
Subscribe to us on both there and YouTube. Make sure you give us a thumbs up iTunes. Subscribe to us on both there and YouTube.
Make sure you give us a thumbs up.
All that stuff.
You support us.
Even if you can't be part of the Patreon, you can still help us out by sharing with your friends.
Let us know you like us.
Yeah.
And yeah, use our catchphrases.
That's great.
Use our catchphrases.
And also, just big shout out.
Thank you so much for everybody who's watching Chrissy's 9-11 clip and my special.
They're up on the Hyenas YouTube.
Go check them out.
Tell friends.
The most important thing, man, is like Mikey said, we are hyenas making more hyenas.
That's what it is.
So it's like when you tell your friends, you are marketing for us.
So go out there and keep converting people to hyenas listeners.
Little by little, it's growing.
We're over 1,000 reviews and ratings already on iTunes. Go out there and keep converting people to hyenas listeners. Little by little, it's growing.
We're over 1,000 reviews and ratings already on iTunes.
We're fucking coming for these podcasts, and we're going to fucking chew their bones.
It's what it is.
And then go to christycomedy.com.
I have a lot of dates coming up.
I'm going to be on the road working on my second hour special. I don't want to be on the road.
So please, if you guys can just come and help me sell some tickets and just be hyenas there,
that would be great because I just want to fucking finish my second hour special and
not do stand-up for four months.
So if you just come to the shows, it would help me because I don't want to be there,
but I do want to be here.
I don't want to be there.
Yeah.
All right.
Peace, guys.
Peace.
Your website.
Oh, yannispappascomedy.com.
You guys, just follow, follow.
Right now, I'm not on the road because I have zero material.
Bye.
Bye.
Yeah.