History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 93 - Prohibition was WILD!
Episode Date: October 29, 2019The Hyenas talk about Prohibition! From 1920 to 1933 the United States banned the production and transportation of alcohol! This is the time of when the Mafia came to rise and a lot of dope speakeasie...s came to be!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼♂️🐕🙆🏻♂️🙆🏼♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips
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Okay.
There we go.
Got it. What's up, everybody?
Welcome to another episode of the History Ahinas.
I'm Chris C.D.
We got Yanni P.
Venity is here.
Zach's here.
Mike Mush is in San Antonio.
That's why I figured it was safe to finally do this.
I can only do this when Mike Mush is here.
I got cannolis for the table.
Yeah.
But I couldn't have them here if Mike was here because he put his face in the box.
So I got some cannolis.
What are you doing bringing cannolis?
Why would you do that?
Okay, let me just get this out.
Yeah, explain it.
Okay, first of all, as you guys can notice, I'm not gelled up.
Yeah.
I'm wearing sweatpants and my Lululemons for the 10th day in a row.
Yeah.
I got a pimple on my cheek.
I already threw hands.
Serge Blizzy almost punched me in the face. I'm fucking sweatpants and my Lululemons for the 10th day in a row. I got a pimple on my cheek. I already threw hands. Serge Blizzy almost punched me in the face.
I'm fucking screwed in.
I'm here to tell you guys that this podcast is starting to really break.
Okay?
November 9th, we got the Gramercy Theater.
The show's almost sold out.
You have to go to our website, historyahinas.com, and get those tickets.
Or go to mine or Giannis' pop's Instagram.
The link's in the bio.
November 9th, midnight, Gramercy Theater, live History on Hina show.
The yammies are starting to crawl out of their
knishes because they smell the money.
Okay? So we got...
Thank you.
Things are getting bigger.
Things are getting badder. And I'm just
fucking screwed. I'm ready to go. I don't have time to
gel my hair, pop my pimples, or
eat right. Because I'm focused and I'm screwed
in on this History of heinous thing.
The Comedy Central deal is over.
Yeah, I was about to say, you are Chrissy Torres.
Yeah, I'm Chrissy Torres.
I'm ready to shout fucking loam.
And you're ready breaking Wei Zhong Jing records.
I mean, you know Chrissy's focused and screwed in when the Wei Zhong Jing start within the
first two minutes of the podcast.
Yeah, in the opening credits.
Yeah, the opening credits.
If Chris starts letting them fly, then it's what it is.
Historyahinas.com.
Get tickets to that live Gramercy Theater show.
And then real quick,
ChristyComedy.com,
Gotham Comedy Club,
November 29th and 30th.
Those shows are almost sold out,
so please go get those tickies.
Yeah, go see Christy at Gotham.
Go see us at Gramercy.
And Mike Muth has opened it for me
at Gotham Comedy Club.
Yeah, Mike, right now he's in San Antonio,
but he's still working
from San Antonio.
He's got a lot,
and you just,
when you listened to
the last episode of Michael Kosta,
you heard him at the opening,
he did a really good job with that.
Yeah, he's good.
The only thing we gotta do
with Mike Mush
is we gotta get him
eating Lakeside Maple
and less Slurpees.
And less Slurpees.
And if you see Mike Mush,
if you see anything
on the internet now
of somebody doing a clip
and it has subtitles,
it's probably Mike Mush
did the subtitles. Yeah, but you know who who just also just learned how to do subtitles because
she's discreet the screwed in greek piece oh venetia the screwed in greek piece is a great
name yeah yeah the screwed in greek piece is unstoppable and she just yeah you know what she
is she just if you don't do her job right if you don't do your job right she's gonna learn your job
and do it better it's just so that's the fear she like she's looking right, she's going to learn your job and do it better. It's just what it is.
So that's the fear.
She's looking at us.
She's looking at Zach.
She's looking at Mike.
And she's like, listen, guy.
Benetia comes in like, listen, guy.
I'm from an ancient people, and we're just better than you.
We're just better than you.
Yeah.
And this is what the deal is.
Yeah.
She's like, I was born with my hair golden fucking blonde like this.
Yeah.
It's not hair dye.
I'm just a golden child.
She's a golden child.
So it's just what it is.
I'm mad, woke, and dope. I'm wearing a name plate that's not even my own name yeah on my chest
yeah that's how fucking wild i am yeah it's just samantha from sex in the city because she's just
wild and dope she's just wild and dope and i have a long-term plan to marry but i'm also
simultaneously telling all the girls i crack open so it's not working
wild Wild Yeah
Yeah
You're Christy Contradictions
It's just what it is
Yeah
Whatever you're
Whatever you're working towards
You are also
Destroying it at the same time
It's what it is
Yeah
Yeah
That's just my life
I'm just wild
Yeah
And it doesn't matter
Yeah
Yeah
No
Yeah
So it's just what it is.
Venetia's just here for a professional relationship with his cuz.
And she's here for a good time.
She's here for a long time.
No, she's here for a long time.
And she's not here for a good time because the girl works.
The girl works hard.
The girl puts subtitles on videos.
The girl fucking makes outlines.
Yeah.
And the girl also parties fucking hard in Athens, Greece.
Yeah.
No.
She does it all.
No.
Last night she sent a text with today's notes. and it was at 1.30 in the morning,
and it went off the ding, and it woke up my baby, and I got mad, and then I turned over,
and I saw it was Venetia, and I was like, dope.
Yeah, it's dope.
No, it's okay.
No, she was actually already up.
You cannot bring cannolis to the studio.
Why?
Because of the little fucking snivel face or so?
No, because that's just not...
You see, what you just said about Venetgan... Let me just explain how funny it is.
Your jaw's way out.
Yeah, it's way out.
That guy, the chain's out now.
Pull that fucking fat girl necklace out.
Yeah, that's a tent.
It keeps getting fucking torn around my neck.
First, I want to say quickly to the person who left that review on our iTunes,
you fucking rat.
You rat fink.
What'd they say?
Oh, yeah.
Some fucking rat fink left a fucking one-star review.
We're going to hunt you down and kill you
like they say
well you know what it probably is
they said when we do the
yeah yeah yeah
yeah we're gonna send ISIS
to your fucking house
yeah
and blow it up
and also some other fucking rats
probably the same rat piece of shit
told Keeping Joe
found
audio of us
of us talking shit
about Keeping Joe
and then told
everybody at the Keeping Joe podcast
we were talking shit about
I'm like
we're all fucking family here, guy.
Yeah, that's what podcasts do.
So we got a text.
And anyway, yeah, we were.
What are you going to do about it?
It's what it is, okay?
Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do about it, guy?
Yeah, if you don't know this.
Because if you don't know this.
If you don't know this, I throw hands.
Yeah, and I've been doing steroid cycles to get my test off.
Yeah, you look all of a sudden you're jacked.
Yeah, because you know what?
I'm just taking steroids.
Yeah, and your hair's back again.
I know, my hair's gone and it's back.
Yeah, and it's what it is.
I'm not taking steroids, but look, guys.
Your beard's gray now.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
What do you mean we're talking shit?
What have we talked about?
We didn't talk shit.
We were making jokes.
We make jokes, but these fucking FFs can't handle jokes.
Look, Sam Morrell's about to leave that podcast.
It's about to end.
Yeah.
So it's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
Yeah, I mean, the kid's going up.
You know, he's got a high joke density, and he can't be dragged down by fucking keeping
Joe anymore.
Yeah, it's what it is. So, yeah. Yeah. Make a clip of that it's what it is so yeah yeah make a clip of that and send it to him yeah make a clip
and send it to him and as always trump gets my vote yeah you know what i'm saying it's what it
is but what i'm saying is just like what you said with veneterio which was funny he's like yeah you
know because you're thinking yeah that she's the type of girl you marry but at the same time she's
she's works at your job where she hears about all the girls you crack on yeah and i'm like
there's only so many times i think be like, it's a character piece.
Yeah, I mean, she knows it's not a character piece.
Yeah, I'm like, I just can't.
Like, I'm going to propose to her one day.
She's going to say, no, I'm going to say it's a character piece.
No, you should walk away.
Yeah, when she looks at you, all she sees is fuck boy.
Yeah.
Chrissy's definitely a fuck boy, no?
Am I a fuck boy?
I am a fuck boy, right?
Yeah, you're a fuck boy.
But I'm getting closer to being not a fuckboy
but I'm not there yet
not in her world
but somebody else
who doesn't know your history
you gotta go
you gotta go to like
France to find a girl
my relationships with women last
just until they hear the podcast
so as long as I keep them
away from the podcast
I can have a girlfriend
as soon as she hears it
she's out of here
yeah I mean the only way
you're gonna find a wife
is if you go into
the witness protection program
yeah it's what it is
you gotta get a new name and a new identity to find somebody who's going to stay with you.
Yeah, or I just have to fucking marry a deaf girl.
Yeah, because you can't hear it.
Because you're suited.
Those are your only two options.
Those are my only two options.
Yeah, if you're a girl out there that does sign language, I'm into you.
Yeah, that's the only way it's going to happen.
Because you're going to have a nice dinner with her.
You're going to introduce her to the baby.
And then she's going to sit down in a love sack. And then she's going to overhear you're going to have a nice dinner with her. You're going to introduce her to the baby and then she's going to sit down in a love
sack and then she's going to overhear what's happened to that love sack because that love
sack needs to be fucking clean.
No, I cleaned it.
And by the way, I'm being a love sack for Halloween.
So if anybody wants to make me a love sack costume, send them to 117 McDougal Street,
the comedy cellar.
Yeah, Chris is going to be a love sack for Halloween and I'm going to be Venetia.
Yeah, you're going to be Venetia.
Yeah, that's what we're going to do.
Yeah.
And then Venetia is going to be Mike Mush.
Yeah.
And here's what I wanted to say. So much like- And Zach's just going to be Venetia. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. Yeah. And then Venetia is going to be Mike Mush. Yeah. And here's what I wanted to say.
So much like-
And Zach's just going to be fired.
Yeah.
No, Zach's just going to- he's just going to shave his beard and he's going to go as
an American citizen.
That's what it is.
That's right.
Yeah, Zach's hair is fucking- now he's got his hair combed down like he's fucking- like
he's in like 15th century England.
I mean, it's just getting weird.
I mean, the guy looks like he's a fucking crusader.
Because he looks like he's been living in Saddam Hussein's cave.
The guy's got a full Lancelot haircut. Yeah, I mean, the kid
looks like he's hiding from Army Rangers
right now. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, cuz.
Yeah. So, much like the Venetia thing.
Yeah.
Yeah. You just worked out and you fucking worked
out hard and you threw hands with Sergio and then you went
and bought six cannolis. But I bought four cannolis
for the bit because I know Mike Muth was going to be here.
But I also would like a cannoli. But if you don't think you're going to crack one of these cannolis out, it's just like... Yeah, I was looking for one of those cannolis. But I bought four cannolis for the bit because I know Mike Muth was going to be here. But I also would like a cannoli.
So you did just a bit.
But if you don't think you're going to crack one of these cannolis out, it's just like
one of those cannolis in my ass.
Yeah.
I mean, it's going to happen.
And I don't want these cannolis.
I'm trying to lose weight from my Savannah trip.
When are you going to Savannah?
Because I'm a two.
You just went to Savannah.
I'm saying I put on a lot of weight.
Oh, from.
I thought you said two Savannah.
I apologize.
It's been like a couple weeks.
I'm 211 right now.
I'm 211 pounds.
Is that too big for you?
I got to get down to under two.
Yeah.
I mean, these pants are so tight, it like hurts.
But you look pretty jacked right now.
Because I'm wearing black, but I am fucking jacked.
You're getting more jacked.
I'm a jacked kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I can get jacked quick.
You can get jacked quick.
I can lose weight quick.
I can grow my hair back quick.
Yeah.
I can become a woman quick.
It's funny.
I'm a malleable kid.
It's funny how like when you start to get depressed
You start to lose your hair
And then when you get happy
Your hair just comes
I mean you have a full head of hair right now
But two weeks ago
You looked like you were in chemo
Yeah and why is that?
I think it's because I just don't have
The right hair products
Because right now I've found a spritz spray
Well finally you found the right barber
Shout out fucking
Shout out Panache
Yeah shout out Panache
No the clippers they use out there
Serious No no no he's got one Okay So he's got one Yeah it's gold out fucking, shout out Panache. Yeah, shout out Panache. Yeah, no, the clippers they use out there are serious.
No, no, no,
he's got one.
Okay.
So he's got one,
yeah, it's gold.
First of all,
shout out Panache.
Shout out Panache.
Shout out Panache.
Shout out Bay Ridge.
Yeah, Stefano,
shout out Stefano.
Stefano's brother Paulie,
his other brother Paulie,
his dad Paulie.
It's, it's, it, it,
it bears repeating
he's a fourth generation barber.
Yeah.
Did you know that?
He's a fourth generation
sauce monkey barber.
Yeah, he's an Italian,
he's actually half Greek though,
he speaks fluent Greek.
He does speak fluent Greek. So he's not a full sauce monkey.
Yeah, and the kid's got... He's a Greek kid. And now, tell him
about the clippers that he has. So, yeah.
So, first off, he's a fourth
generation barber. Yeah. Which is funny
in and of itself. I said, wow, because his father
is a barber, and he owns Panache,
and then he and his brother
are barbers there. Yeah. So there's...
You got three family members
who are barbers there. Yeah. But then his father's father was also a there. Yeah. So you got three family members who are barbers there.
Yeah.
But then his father's father was also a barber.
Yeah.
And his father before him was a barber.
He's a fourth generation barber.
His great grandfather was a barber.
Yeah.
So they're just four generations of barbers.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Now when he goes in there, he's got these gold clippers, and I saw them.
They're fucking solid gold clippers.
Yeah.
They're as gold as that chain that your mother bought you for freaking graduating from Catholic
school.
Exactly.
It's what it is.
First Holy Communion.
It's 12 karat gold.
Shout out Mrs. Link.
I said, wow.
Now, they were glistening off the lights above the seat, so they caught my eye, and I said,
those, are those special clippers?
Yeah.
Because they're gold.
Yeah.
And he said, oh, those over there are serious.
Serious.
He called them serious. Serious. Yeah. He said, they're like vintage sneakers. They're hard. Yeah. And he said, oh, those over there are serious. Serious. He called them serious.
Serious.
He said, they're like vintage sneakers.
They're hard to get.
He said, they're always sold out.
Those things are serious.
Serious, yeah.
And then when he used them on me, I have to admit, the buzz was nice and calm and controlled.
Yeah.
It sounded like a jet plane, like one of those advanced fucking CIA, maybe like what they
used to call those things that make no sound.
Like? The fly. It was one of those. Like, you know, maybe like what I used to call those things that make no sound. Like the fly.
It was one of those.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like a spy.
What was it called?
It was like, it looks like Darth Vader's helmet.
Mike, once you said Darth Vader, Mike would have came.
Yeah, Mike would have came.
Yeah, if Mike was from the group town, he's like, I'm set.
Yeah, so the buzz was real nice and it was a real good clipper.
Did you see Mike's reaction when Burr said that he was in the Star Wars movie?
Yeah.
He started crying almost.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He started crying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mike's a good kid.
Mike's a great kid.
He's helping out his mother right now at San Antonio.
Yeah, he's in San Antonio, but listen, Mikey, if you're listening to this, which you are,
listen, no more Slurpee for you.
I want you to go to Lake Tha Maple and use that fucking promo code.
That's what you need to start doing.
Whenever you want a Slurpee, get it.
Did you ever notice when we go to dinner, the kid's always ordering a burger?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Listen, you got to understand.
Listen, guy, we're just going to have to order four.
Well, Serge said he'd give him a couple of free sessions to throw hands if Mike wants
to do it.
He needs to throw hands.
We love Mike.
We miss him already today.
I do.
Yeah.
I mean, we can't print anything out.
Even the mighty Venetia doesn't know what the fuck's going on.
We can't find passwords.
The printer doesn't work.
We need Mike here. Yeah, but Venetia will learn it. You know what Venetia is? Venetia doesn't know what the fuck's going on. We can't find passwords. The printer doesn't work. We need Mike here.
Yeah, but Venetia will learn it.
Venetia will absolutely learn.
Venetia is eventually going to start just doing the podcast.
That's what I'm saying.
We're not going to do it.
She's looking at you and she's like, Chris, if you look at that phone one more time, I'm
going to sit in that seat and I'm going to talk about guys I cracked out.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah.
We're going to do this podcast.
We're here from 12 to 4.
I'm not allowed to pee.
Because Venetia said I can't pee.
Yeah. she's just
got everything in control.
She's like the... She's almost like
the Terminator.
A little bit. Sarah Connor?
She's like, you know how the Terminator kind of changes
forms and kind of like, you can't stop her?
Venetia will just, you can't stop her.
You'll try to keep her away, like, this is my
job, and she'll be like, she's kind of got that thing where it's like it is your job.
But if you do it a little – I'm going to – if you do it a little below expectation, I'm going to come in and fill in what you didn't do and I'm just going to become you.
No.
Yeah.
Today it was – because Venetia always – she does all the research for us and we're so thankful.
That's why this podcast keeps getting better and better because vanity is effort and now the now now it's starting to come with not only just here's the material
now starting to come with hey this is what you have to say this is what you should say yeah this
is what you're going to do the bonus at 11 minutes you're going to go into this now there's no
mistakes anymore no it's feeling a little bit more german and that's why i'm getting peeing in here
yeah and as as and if you notice she just keeps sitting increasingly closer to Zach.
Yeah.
Because make no mistake, she's going to correct him.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's going to be corrected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because if you go to our fucking Patreon, there is again another jihad for Zach's head.
Yeah, because once you-
We just can't keep these fans away from Zach.
I don't even upload them anymore.
They just-
I know, but they're upset.
It's just a thing whenever there's a mistake.
They're upset about the volume levels a mistake. They're upset about
the volume levels.
Yeah.
They're upset about
the sound effect volume levels.
Yeah.
And I think pretty soon
they're going to start
camping out outside the studio
and they're going to try
to cut your head off.
Yeah.
It's what it is.
Yeah, even my manager,
the truffle pig,
he just called me out there
and was like,
oink, oink, oink, oink, oink,
Zach, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
And then he got mad
at the audio levels.
Yeah.
Should we wish on she and that? I mean, I just... I'm just making pig sounds. Yeah, you then he got mad at the audio levels. We should weigh Sean Chee on that?
I'm just making pig sounds.
Is there anything wrong with the music?
I'm not generalizing, I'm just saying him specifically
because he finds little truffle money bags.
It's not because
that he happens to be Jewish.
You're saying it because he happens to be
a manager in comedy, and they're all
truffle pigs.
They find the money.
It has nothing to do with being Jewish. They're they're all truffle picks. Yeah, they're all truffle picks. They find the money. No matter what their background is,
they're true.
It has truly nothing to do with being Jewish.
They're parasitical truffle picks.
Yeah, if he was a Catholic kid,
I would still call it
because he's just excellent at finding the money.
He's got to sniff out the money.
Yeah, and he listens to that
because he smells the money.
So now he hears what's going on.
Much like a lot of our expressions,
we just have to...
We're not getting rid of the Patreon.
No, and yet...
Yeah.
And much like most of our expressions, we just have to distance ourselves from the original meaning of them.
Yeah.
Because we're not losing them because they're too funny.
But, you know, we got to distance ourselves.
It's like cocksucker.
Cocksucker's too funny a thing.
Yeah.
But it started out as a gay slur.
But nobody cares about that now anymore.
But you know what?
It's starting to get to the point now where I think it's not – we're not there yet. But I was telling you this. Bob Maneri on Instagram, he's got that really funny Instagram account where he like does announcer voices over like funny – over actual sports videos.
And he like curses and it's like whatever.
And on Saturday, he put up a video of a football player.
I forgot what team, a college team, and his last name was F-A-G-G-O-T or F-A-G-O-T.
So it's like faggot, but it's actually pronounced Fagot.
And he did this whole video.
It was like, what a touchdown kick for Jack Faggot.
And the crowd screams, faggot, faggot.
And he just kept screaming it, right?
And that was the video he posted.
I'm not like that.
I'm regurgitating what he said.
And then he got all this hate mail that was like, no, it's for go.
It's for go.
It's for go.
So he makes a video and he says, you know, I apologize.
I shouldn't have said that word, faggot.
And it's for go.
And we should have done our research. And he's like me and Peter, who's his imaginary partner in the thing, but it's really all
him.
And he goes, but to the people, because he's about, he's also the voice of Buffalo Wild
Wings.
He was like, he was like to the people who are like, you know, buff or tell me I'm going
to lose my Buffalo Wild Wings sponsor.
He's like, I'm not at all.
He goes, they need me more than I need them.
He said, so I apologize for the video.
I'm sorry.
He said, I love all people.
I have no problem with gays.
So stop trying to cause a fucking problem.
It's not going to happen.
He was like, I'll see you.
And he said to Buffalo Wild Wings, he's like,
I'll see you in the studio on Monday.
Yeah, because they need his following and power to the people now.
My point is that
in a little bit,
it's like this whole
cancel culture
is starting to
slow down
just a little bit.
I mean, we're going to get
canceled eventually, but...
No, we're not.
And it is slowing down
because, yeah,
we are the business now.
Comedians are the business.
It's what it is.
They need our fan bases.
We build things organically
because it's the only
organic thing left.
Everything else is
publicist paid for
and just bullshit.
Bullshit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Should we tell them the truth about our article?
The truth about our article?
Yeah, because even Zach said he was like, you know, it was a great, great write-up.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a good writer.
So it's just what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm getting messages from everybody.
Yeah.
Well, good.
It's out there now.
It's out there now.
Yeah.
So expect more from powerful news sources saying that they like our stuff. Yeah. Well, good. It's out there now. It's out there now. So expect more from powerful news sources saying that they like our stuff.
Absolutely.
CNN just wrote a nice article about us.
It's getting posted tomorrow.
You'll be seeing it soon.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah, and it's like, listen, guy.
You know, it's like, listen, whoever made that clip and sent it to Keeping Joe, here's one for you to make, too.
It's like, listen, guy.
Yeah.
Nobody cares.
Yeah.
Okay?
It's not serious. We're in comedy. Yeah. Okay? It's not serious.
We're in comedy.
Yeah.
Okay?
This little inside high school stuff where we make fun of each other, it's all in good
fun, but it's not real.
Nobody cares.
It doesn't.
Okay?
Luis J. Gomez and Nicole Arbor, Luis Joe, nobody cares.
Yeah.
Okay?
Do your fucking tour together or whatever, and the stupid little vendetta you got, nobody
cares.
Yeah.
It's not a real problem.
It's all show business, baby.
Yeah. This is, it's all, everything has become show business yeah including media you know how wrestling calls
itself sports entertainment yeah media should just start calling itself media entertainment yeah
because you're entertainment you're not real news anymore yeah sorry guys fake news trump 2020 it's
a character piece character piece it's what it is i got a dm from patty i got a i got a i got a dm
from the real Patty Flyballs.
From the real Patty Flyballs.
I did.
You're right.
And he said, yeah, guy, Trump 2020 guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just what it is.
And I just said Trump train.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's a character piece.
It's a character piece.
Yeah.
We're going to talk about Prohibition today, and it's going to be fucking wild.
You know a lot about Prohibition.
You go peering for Prohibition.
You wanted to do Prohibition for the live Gramercy Theater show, and I said, no, we
got to talk about the firefighters.
Yeah.
You know, look.
November 9th.
Almost sold out.
Yeah.
Here's the thing, guys.
Show at it.
We got to use the right term.
Show at it.
Yeah, show at it.
Because that's what people start to go peering.
Oh, these kids are selling tickets.
Show at it.
Exactly.
Well, it's true.
Which is technically true, but yeah.
It is technically true.
We sold out the first one.
Yeah, when I say almost sold out,
I mean about halfway full.
Yeah, so go ahead.
No, that's not true, though.
That actually is not true.
For the joke,
we got about only, there's truly about, I think there's like 30 tickets left.
There's single digit tickets left.
Oh, yeah, that too.
That is true.
That is absolutely true.
But reality is a suggestion.
Reality is a suggestion.
It doesn't matter.
Okay?
But the truth is, it is very low single digits.
It truly, no.
It could be sold out right now.
It actually could be.
Yeah.
We got to call one of the truffles.
Yeah, one of the truffles.
Oh, I'll text him.
And then when he gets out of synagogue, he'll get back to me.
Yeah, but again, the truffle has nothing to do with that he's going to synagogue.
No, it's just no.
It's just Chris, he can't help himself.
Can we clear the air, please?
How you doing?
That's my friend, Patty Mulrooney.
He's never been to the city.
First time he brought his passport to the Brooklyn Bridge.
We went there.
You got to excuse him.
He's never met a Jew in person.
You know, a couple firefighters,
and we will pull you out of fire
no matter what your political persuasions are.
It's what it is.
If you voted Hillary,
it'd just be a little slower.
It just might be a little slower
if you're a Democrat.
Yeah, that's what it is.
I think, yeah, guys,
I think they just move up the stairs
a little slow in certain neighborhoods.
Yeah, and also,
we have on occasion called in a fire
that there wasn't a fire,
and we did show up
at the scene to get overtime.
Yeah, that did happen. It's just what it is. Yeah, it's what it is. And there also have been a couple we did it we did show up at the scene to get off of time yeah that did happen that's just what it is we yeah it's what it is and they also have
been a couple of times where we saw some people that look like democrats and we just hit them
with the fire hose we probably need is that a cackle is that a cackle no we just have to clean
them off a little yeah we have to clean off the ladder 14 and can i get away from the exact if
that button works thank you very much that clears the. That clears the air. That clears the air.
It's a character piece.
Yeah, so why don't we get in.
You want to get into the history right now?
Let's do that.
I do.
Okay, because now you, Prohibition, for you.
First of all.
Because you know a lot more about it than I do.
Yeah.
But I know about it.
Yeah, well, yeah.
First of all, well, it's your people.
This is something you should be very interested in.
Sauce monkeys.
No, you're not a sauce monkey.
It was funny because, yeah, some kid was trying to diss Sebastian Maniscalco
when I did that impression of him at the comedy karaoke.
What were they saying?
What were this asshole saying?
Well, he said, no, thank you.
I want Chrissy D to be our Italian representative.
I said, Chrissy D's not Italian.
The only thing Italian about Chrissy is the name DiStefano.
Yeah.
You look at you, and much like a German kid, you're a handsome kid, but I told you you're
peaking now because your skin, you're starting to fall apart.
Why?
What's going on?
What happens is you guys start drinking.
Yeah.
I mean, you start moving a lot of vegetables.
Yeah.
Am I starting to fall apart now already?
No, you're still a good looking kid, but you don't have the skin of Greeks.
Right.
You see how Venetia's got the fucking perfect skin?
Yeah.
You guys get reddish and translucent.
You got the skin.
You really do have the skin tone of a shower liner.
Yeah.
So as you get over 40, once you hit 40-
The skin starts to get bad.
You guys all look weathered like you climbed Mount Everest.
Yeah, I have a big pimple too.
You got wind burn on your face.
Yeah.
Yeah, but that's because of the booze.
You guys can't keep your fucking pauper paws off of brews.
Yeah.
You love brews.
Yeah, I threw down a few brews in Wisconsin.
Yeah, you like brews.
By the way, shout out to the people who came to comedy on state.
What a great fucking club in Madison, Wisconsin.
And yeah, I ate a lot of beers, a lot of cheese curds.
Yeah, and shout out to a couple cute kids that fucking came down to Jamestown, New York.
We're going to be going back there.
Francesca, how you doing?
I know you're listening right now.
She's a fan of the Hyenas.
That's why she brought me out.
Bring us back.
Bring the Hyenas for the Lucille Ball Fest.
Yeah, Lucille Ball is probably one of the funniest female comedians of all time.
Yeah, she definitely is.
And she's from Jamestown, New York.
We'll do an episode on Jamestown.
We're going to do an episode on Lucille Ball, too.
We do.
We absolutely do.
But here's the thing about Prohibition, Chrissy.
Yeah, what is it?
Because you're a German kid, and you kids can't keep your fucking pauper paws off Bruce.
You love creating Bruce.
So the big advocates to be anti-Prohibition, to start it off from here, were German kids.
German-Americans.
German-Americans who were making the booze.
They were behind the big companies.
Look at all the German names.
Bush.
Amheiser Bush.
Yeah.
Yingling.
Who's the other one?
We have Bush.
We have Budweiser.
These are all Germans.
Yeah.
So they brought the beer here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then we had all these Protestant, you know, Germans are Protestant.
You know, a lot of them are Lutheran or whatever the fuck they are.
But they don't care.
They just want it clean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They don't care about, yeah.
As long as you're not a certain religion, they don't care.
Yeah.
So they were the big beer makers.
But the guys who really loved booze were these factory workers.
And you know.
Yeah, still to this day.
And Irish kids.
Yeah.
So the Irish kids came here and they were like, they worked at the factories and they
were like, you know what?
I'm going to go have a fucking couple of brews.
Yeah.
And a couple turned into 10.
And the next thing you know, they were fucking, you know, not eating lunch and just drinking
beer like your friend Pate Flyboats.
Yeah.
Because brews to them.
Yeah. Because liquor to them. That's because brews to them, yeah, because liquor to them.
That's like a meal for them.
Well, no, alcohol to them, it's kind of like the cement mix to bury their problems.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's a good way to put it.
That's what they need.
They need that cement mix solution, that dirt, to fucking fully bury their issues.
It only, alcohol is the thing that does it.
Yeah, and so a lot of, you know, we always, what I've noticed in being a history lover,
and why prohibition.
And an FF.
And an FF.
A full-blown stone cold.
Guy.
Because I'm full-blown and stone cold.
You're full-blown stone cold.
I mean, you're just as, the more days than not, I would say five out of seven days a
week, you know, you're mostly estrogen.
Where it used to be, you know, three to four out of seven.
Like, but ever since you've been married, you're just mostly estrogen. I mean, your wife has a week, you know, you're mostly estrogen. Where it used to be, you know, three to four out of seven. But ever since you've been married, you're just mostly estrogen.
I mean, your wife has a wife, and it's you.
Yeah.
When you get married, it's almost like being a eunuch.
Yeah, it's like, will the real Mrs. Pompous please stand up?
Yeah, exactly.
There's two of us.
And we're in a lesbian relationship.
It's what it is.
Yeah, we had a gay marriage.
Yeah.
And I was happy to be there and witness it.
Yeah, you were.
Because I support everything.
Yeah, and we got some good photos there because.
We did have some really good photos, and I ripped a fart during the photo shoot.
You did, and it cracked everybody up.
It cracked your brother up, and then he shit his pants.
So, the thing that I've noticed about studying American history, from our inception, you have to understand, we were founded by a bunch of honks from Europe who came over to escape religious persecution.
They wanted to be fucking Protestant kids.
They wanted to escape the Catholic Church.
They wanted to escape whatever and do their thing.
They wanted to be Quakers.
They wanted to be Protestants, whatever, Lutherans, whatever they are.
So that's what they came here for.
But they, which is, it's so funny.
This is the interesting thing to me.
It's like every movement always goes too far.
There's always overcorrection.
It always goes too far, starting at the founding of our country.
These people were, they were escaping persecution, and then they came here, and they started burning they started burning women on faggots.
Now, faggots is the wood
underneath.
There you go.
And if I was in England and I said,
can I get a fag? It's a cigarette.
One for the good Nazis.
Yeah. Wake up.
So they started burning women for being witches, and they came here to escape persecution,
and then as Puritans, which is the founding of our country, was by Puritans,
puritanical comes from, that expression comes from what they were doing.
Sure.
You know?
You did anything outside of the lines of what they prescribed.
You were getting tied to a piece of wood and set on fire.
You were getting, exactly. That's what it was. You were getting tied to a piece of wood and set on fire.
Exactly.
That's what it was.
You were a witch or something was wrong with you.
Everything always goes too far.
So that puritanical urge, it's part of our fabric.
That puritanical tendency keeps manifesting itself in different times, in different ways. Yeah.
But the anatomy of it is
the same thing and it's american it's fucking uniquely american uniquely american because when
you go to europe and stuff like that you know they're very liberal about sex and things like
that america we have that puritanical shame yeah that's attached to sex yeah you know and it's um
it shows in our tv how like we talked about,
was that with the
Michael Kosta episode?
It shows.
Where like you see guys
shooting each other,
no problem,
violence is okay,
but you know,
you see one titty,
you can't even show a penis.
You can't do that.
You know?
I mean,
which is weird.
And it's like,
you can't show sex,
but like the French,
the whole movie
is just like a woman
banging a dude.
Yeah,
and then you have,
and then you,
because once you start,
stop,
once you start being open
and honest about these things,
even with alcohol, you know, when I was in Scotland – I'm sorry.
When I was in England in Newcastle this summer when I just immediately left because I got a stomachache and I just missed Giannis when I left four days before when I came back home to the United States.
The kids that were drinking there that were 16, 17, 18 years old, there's no shame associated with being an alcoholic in the UK. And I'm sure in
other European countries as well. I just saw it first in the UK. There's no shame in alcoholism.
It's a family problem. AA doesn't exist really because AA is a shameful thing here. It's like,
oh, alcohol is anonymous. They don't look at it that way. They're like, oh, if you're addicted
to alcohol, you can drink alcohol. We encourage it want you to you know be able to celebrate with us so just if it starts to get out of hand your family deals
with it and you're not shamed for it you just say oh he has to work on he or she have to work on this
as opposed to being thrown out of your family and oh go to this anonymous place and you know
basically repent for your sins that's that's what that is that's all that's also puritanical right
well you know the prohibition and...
And by the way,
can I just real quick
say something?
Sure.
Just real quick.
It's a little off topic,
but just to the people
who are going crazy
that the Houston Astros
beat the New York Yankees
and talk about,
oh, Houston's the city
up and coming.
Because it's like,
I don't know where
this fucking idea
keeps coming from
that Houston is this
somewhat close city
to New York City.
Let me fucking tell you one thing.
Be crystal.
And listen to me fucking loud and clear right now.
Crystal clear.
New York City's history is embedded in this fucking country more than you even know.
Yeah.
Okay?
Because here's one thing I know.
Yeah.
This city used to be called, before New York.
What was it?
New Amsterdam.
Yeah.
By the fucking Dutch.
That's right.
The tall kids.
The Dutch.
The tall fucking kids before England even wanted to take it in the late 60s
because England just wants
to get their fucking
paw up or paws on shit too.
Yeah.
New Amsterdam
was the melting pot
of this new world.
The reason why the British
even wanted to get
their fucking paws on it
was because of New Amsterdam,
which would one day
be New York City
because in New Amsterdam
you had 18 to 20
different languages
being spoken
at any given time on any given street.
Because the pride of New York City is we're a melting pot and we're all eclectic.
And everything that New York stands for is what people, when they would leave New Amsterdam, they would just take it and start to go settle west.
But make no mistake, the idea was New York.
The idea was New Amsterdam.
The people born and raised in New Amsterdam said, we like our lives here.
Let's move west to places like houston yeah and all these other cities that just became
great cities yeah like chicago yeah and los angeles and all these other cities that became
good cities the reason why they came became good cities the fucking the nucleus of the cell of
every other city's life make no mistake is new york city yeah so when i start to hear people
talk shit about new york city it's like listen guy here it is it's New York City. Yeah. So when I start to hear people talk shit about New York City, it's like, listen, guy.
Here it is.
It's like you're talking shit about your own cells.
Yeah.
Okay?
Because you only exist because New Amsterdam existed.
And you weren't fucking chosen.
Geography is destiny.
And Jesus Christ himself pointed to guys like me and you and said, I want you guys to live
in the heart of the fucking cell.
Right.
You guys are the heartbeat of the nucleus of the cell.
Yeah.
So we're going to put you in New York City.
Long Duck Dong is about your age, Sam.
You two should have a lot to chat about.
No, we got the best water.
Shout out Smithtown Water Department.
Shout out Smithtown Water Department
and also Rennie Gruner Department.
And Houston Astros, you suck.
Your best play is fucked in the short fucking kid like the situation.
Yeah, so that was a little steel pipe Christian right there.
Sorry about that.
I know it went a little off hand, but it's just, guy, I'm tired of people fucking talking about New York City.
It's the whole thing starts with New Amsterdam, and that's New York City.
And either you were chosen to live there, or either you're a New Yorker, and you're tolerable, and people like you, or you just have to play pretend.
It's like I got to play pretend that somebody from Cincinnati is interesting.
Yeah.
You're not interesting.
Right.
Your city's not interesting.
I got to just play pretend with you, and I'm fucking getting sick of it.
Yeah.
I'm sick and tired of going to these cities, fucking going on the road and being like,
I love your city.
I don't.
I want to go home back to New York, because the only thing that matters is this.
Yeah.
Without the Northeast, nobody cares.
ISIS isn't going to go fucking invade Cincinnati.
They don't need it.
Yeah. But New York and to go fucking invade Cincinnati. They don't need it.
But New York and Boston get hit. Because it's
really, it's like, this whole world
lately is just, let's play pretend and let's
make believe that everybody's... It's not.
There's New York, Boston, and a couple
other places, and that's about it, guy.
Yeah, and you know, it used to be that, like,
listen, guy, you had to
be able to sell tickets and impress New Yorkers to make it in any art form, guy. Now you just some fucking, you know, it used to be that, like, listen, guy, you had to be able to sell tickets and impress New Yorkers to make it in any art form.
Guy.
Now you just some fucking, you got some guy or girl prancing in from some place and then they make them a star.
It's like, listen, guy, you haven't impressed New Yorkers yet.
Yeah.
You're not a real comedian.
You don't impress me.
Yeah.
You're not impressive.
Yeah.
Because we're the realest people.
Yeah.
The Northeast is the realest people.
And, yeah, Chrissy's right.
You can act like New York's not the new Rome, but we're just playing pretend.
We just play pretend.
We're pretend.
We are the modern Roman Empire, and New York is Rome.
The city of Rome.
Yeah.
So just deal with it.
Yeah.
New York!
New York!
Yeah.
Drinking the smoothie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
From the Bill Burr episode.
Even Prohibition.
I mean, nobody even cared that they weren't allowed to sell alcohol at any of the places.
But when they said you can't sell in New York City, then we had an issue.
Yeah, and by the way, Chris, you just shit on Cincinnati.
We're hoping to come to Cincinnati.
Shout out Liberty Funny Bone.
I love your town.
Yeah, we're definitely just going to figure out how to get down there.
And Cincinnati is really, really important.
No, I do love those cities.
I was just kidding.
That was a little bit
of a character piece.
This is me right now.
This is Chris.
Hi, how are you?
I just went a little wild.
And I love the cities.
I shout out Madison, Wisconsin.
The only reason he was saying that
is because that's stupid
and he likes New York
because that's where
the black guys are.
Yeah, so this is Max.
It's a character piece.
It's just another character piece.
Yeah.
I only had a problem
with Cincinnati
because I thought
there would be more black guys.
There's not enough black guys there.
That's the real problem.
We're just two Bavarian hot guys
looking for black guys.
That's what it is.
We're just doing character pieces.
There's been a couple of girls I've talked to
that say they don't want to hold hands.
It's weird about holding hands.
One of these girls told me that she has mental illness.
I was like, what's your mental illness?
And she said, ADD.
I was like, you can't just fucking start saying shit like that now.
That's not a mental illness, guy.
No.
All right, lady?
No.
You're not a mental illness.
You don't want to hold hands when you have ADD.
It's like, what the fuck are you doing?
Get out of the city.
Some people move to the city, they can't handle it.
They start to snap.
No, walking 15 miles to go to the gym and wearing headphones, that's a fucking mental illness.
That's a mental illness.
Hey, Bert.
Hey, Bert. We're just kidding. It's a mental illness. Hey, Bert. Hey, Bert.
We're just kidding.
It's a character piece.
I'm just kidding around.
If you see him in the street,
don't throw peanut butter at him.
Yeah, just joking, all right?
Everyone's got it thick
in their skin, all right?
Hey, Joe Podcast or whatever.
Everyone's thick
in your fucking skin.
We're just joking.
You guys are all great comics.
We love y'all.
Take your shots at us,
but you better keep it comedy
because if you want to get physical,
we'll take all of you physically.
That's another thing, too.
As far as podcasts, other than Joe Rogan and Brendan Schaub, anybody else who wants to
stand Brian Callen because they can't throw hands.
Yeah, I can throw hands.
I'll beat the shit out of any other podcast, including you, Schultz.
Wild.
Schultz can throw hands, though.
No, Schultz can throw hands.
And I also just mentioned Schultz because I'm trying to get clickbait.
Yeah.
I want the kids to follow us.
The kids are fucking... We're trying to hang out to Schultz.
Yeah, I mean, look.
Because Schultz is the general, and make no mistake, Schultz is the general of the New York Podcast Army, and we're high up lieutenants though.
Yeah.
How Schultz, how Rogan made all these other guys, we're on the Schultz train.
We've been Schultz since day one.
Yeah, Schultz is a screwed-in kid.
Schultz is the most screwed-in kid. I mean, the Joker video was a 10 out of 10. Yeah, Schultz-y's a screwed-in kid. Schultz-y's the most screwed-in kid.
His Joker video was a 10 out of 10.
The kid's a 10 out of 10. He's 10 out of 10, and he's working
his guys to death. Yeah, he's working his guys.
He says he's not German, but that name Schultz,
I think his father might have been a Nazi
who escaped to Argentina and moved up here.
He gave that kid, Akash Singh, a
fucking full career. I mean, that kid was two feet away from
opening up his own halal car.
Way song she ain't. Yeah, I mean, that kid was two feet away from opening up his own halal car. Way song she ain't.
Yeah, I mean, Chrissy,
you're just here. You're present.
That's just what it is. I'll forget all of this.
Chrissy, present! I will forget all
of this tomorrow. I'm in a blackout right now.
Yeah, you're in a fucking blackout!
My mind is just seeing Father Bill smash his
cock against my forehead and try to make the sign of the cross
and come. So I'm just blacked out. Yeah, we went to Ridgewood, to make the sign of the cross and come. It's what it is.
So I'm just blacked out.
Yeah, we went to Ridgewood, too.
We did a little sightseeing.
There's four sights to see.
One of them is Rudy's.
Nazis used to get their pastries there.
It's what it is.
It's just a true story.
The Nazis sold tickets, and they got black and whites from my local bakery.
I mean, Ridgewood was a Nazi fucking loving neighborhood.
Yeah, it's what it is.
It was all German.
It's what it is, yeah.
So it's good to go to that.
We finally went to Rudy's. The Lin it was what it is. It was all German. It's what it is, yeah. So it's good to go to that. We finally went to Rudy's.
The Linza Tarts are great.
I think it's hilarious
that there's a neighborhood
that has Linza Tarts in them
because, like,
Linza Tarts is like,
that's like a Nazi cookie.
Yeah, it is.
It's a little Nazi treat.
It's a Nazi biscuit.
Because I want to fucking hunt down
whoever gave that review.
That review bothered me.
I know.
You get bent at it.
That fucking bothered me.
I'm going to find...
Because we could just...
We're like the Joker.
We could just send hyena fans after people. Ben and T are starting to look at us now. She wants going to find... Because we could just... We're like the Joker. We could just send
hyena fans after people.
Benetia is starting
to look at us now.
She wants to get into
the fucking history.
So once Benetia...
I can see Benetia
start looking and...
It's his fault.
He took out the pipe
and he started fucking
hitting every state.
He's like,
listen Cincinnati,
you're a piece of shit.
Everything in Texas,
suck my dick guy.
Look, if you're in the Northwest,
fuck you,
you're not important.
You're in the Madison, New York.
Yeah.
Because fucking Frank Sinatra and that's it.
Yeah.
So what is prohibition, guys?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So back to the puritanical tendency that rears its head.
At this time, prohibition started to rear its head.
A lot of it can probably be blamed on how hard Irish kids drank as factory workers and blue-collar workers.
You know, and so a lot of the prohibition movement was really started by Protestant women.
Women.
Protestant women groups, these temperance groups.
Because they were tired of getting disciplined?
Yeah, kind of. Seriously, probably, right, they were tired of getting drunk and fucking
and hit
back then you got your pay and these guys would get their pay
at the factory and then they would go
and they would spend it on booze at the saloon
and they would gamble
so they were destroying their families
yeah, it was destroying their families
but it was also, there was probably not that many people doing it
that's how xenophobia works right it's like
the new guys come along the muslims got like most muslims are just normal people doing whatever
they're doing you know throwing sheets over their head just doing their own thing cooking great food
yeah but like a few sandals 12 months a year whatever it is yeah you know you know same thing
and then a few of them do that and then like a few of them do something bad or whatever and then
they all get stereotyped. That's how xenophobia
works. So it's probably a few Irish kids
that got a little too hammered and then like
all of a sudden xenophobia kicks in
where they just generalize and
then Protestants start being, for all
intents and purposes, racist against Irish.
Because this was really kind of like
Prohibition was really kind of
like masked racism against Irish.
Because everyone loved to drink.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not just the Irish kids who were drinking.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know if you came across a British kid in your life, but those kids loved to drink gin.
They love it.
They got a red nose.
They're drinkers.
They're big drinkers, yeah.
So it was mostly women, and this puritanical urge we were talking about started to rear its head and manifest itself in this Prohibition movement.
Urge, we were talking about, started to rear its head and manifest itself in this prohibition movement.
Right.
It used to be like she's a witch because she said something that's not Christian or whatever.
Right. Or she's acting or she got pregnant in a way.
She's a witch.
Or they would – even like I remember from – this episode is not about the Salem witch trials.
But I remember there was even a case of a woman who didn't get her period in four or five months but also wasn't pregnant.
So they were like,
it must be witchcraft.
Meanwhile, it's like endometriosis.
Yeah, it always just goes too far.
Oh my God,
a specific gynecological condition.
Yeah, I just know a lot about the body.
You're a doctor.
Yeah, I got a doctorate.
Yeah, I mean,
we did spend a little time with Aunt Eileen this weekend.
Oh yes, we did.
And she's not a fan of the situation.
Yeah, and I took a few,
I snuck a few pictures of her, and I was talking, I'll post them on the Patreon. of the situation. Yeah, and I took a few, I snuck a few pictures of her
and I was talking,
I'll post them on the Patreon.
Did you really?
Yeah, I just took a few.
Yeah.
So much like it.
And she showed,
she had a firefighters sweater on.
She did have a firefighters sweater
and she's definitely not a fan of the situation.
Yeah, and my mother would phrase things like.
No, she is.
They work it out, but it's just.
And my mother was funny
because she would phrase things,
you know,
because you would ask her questions about the neighborhood.
She's like, you know,
the neighborhood is changing. It's changed. She was like. But it looks like it's changing back. She was like, it was changing because she would phrase things, you know, because you would ask a question about the neighborhood. She's like, you know, the neighborhood is changing.
It's changed.
But it looks like it's changing back.
She was like, it was changing.
And she was like, and it was, you know, it was a change.
She's like, but now it's just changing back, if you know what I mean.
And I'm like, I know what you mean.
We know what you meant.
Yeah, the leaves are changing and so are the colors.
Yeah.
So anyway, also on Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, now that you can also check in with
Aunt Eileen.
She does.
She checks.
She leaves voicemails for her nephew, Christopher, who she loves very much, and she just wants
him to stay on the right path.
They were worried about him when he stopped being a doctor, but once they saw him on TV
doing skits, everything was okay.
But you know, he's got a friend from Park Slope, so that's good.
Yeah, they were happy to see you.
So you can also check in.
There will be
Anne Eileen episodes
on Patreon.
Yeah, yeah.
So back to Prohibition
for Benatia.
It was funny when they found
that you were smoking cigarettes
because my mom was like,
oh, I didn't know
Yannis smoked cigarettes
and Anne Eileen was like,
oh, he smoked cigarettes.
He smoked cigarettes
so he could come
and sit on the soup with me
and we could share,
you know, a spot.
Yeah, she's like,
let me go get my saltines.
Yeah, I mean,
your mother and your aunt
are two German-Irish women from Brooklyn, Queens. Yeah. she's like, let me go get my saltines. Yeah, I mean, your mother and your aunt are two German-Irish women.
Yeah.
From Brooklyn.
Yeah.
Queens.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
Yeah, and make no mistake, the only reason I'm even alive and have anything going for
me in my life positive is because of them.
Because, I mean, Barney Rubble was on a fucking course to just throw it all away.
It's what it is.
And Lynn and Annalee would not let it happen.
And when we get huge, much like Andy Kaufman, what we're going to do is we're going to take
two lucky fans.
They're going to come with us to Ridgewood.
Yeah.
We're going to sit on the neutrals and we're going to eat Linza tarts from Roozie's.
It's what it is.
That's what we're going to do.
Yeah.
The neutrals, we're going to sit on them and have a conversation with them and ISIS is
going to film it and it's just, that's what we're going to do for our Patreon members.
Yeah.
Great.
We'll do an episode from the neutrals at some point.
So when we get, so out of, just real quick and then back to Prohibition, out of 1,000
Patreon members, if you go to patreon.ition, out of 1,000 Patreon members,
if you go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys,
we are going to reenact the scene from Grease.
I'm going to dress up like Sandra Dee.
Jan's going to dress up like John Travolta.
We're going to reenact the scene from Grease
singing the Sandra Dee song.
Yeah.
When we get to 1,000 Patreon members,
when we get to 1,500 Patreon members,
we'll do a live episode
from the neutral staircase in Ridgewood.
Yeah, with two lucky Patreon members.
With two lucky Patreon members.
Who will win a contest, and we'll come, and we'll eat Linz and Tarts, and youcase in Ridgewood. Yeah, with two lucky Patreon members. With two lucky Patreon members. Who will win a contest and will come and we'll eat Linz and Tarts and you'll be our guest.
Yeah, that's what it is.
And we will do the podcast from the Neutral.
Yeah, and if you're a girl, you can get cracked on my childhood bed.
Yeah, which is a single.
His VHS is still in there.
Yeah, and let's be honest.
Even if you're a guy, you might get cracked.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
I'm spinning the wheel.
Okay, back to Prohibition.
Yeah.
So it started where it's at.
So xenophobia is tied in to prohibition and so these groups started to pop up these these these uh and they would these female like protestant kind of temperance groups right
v they were called temperance groups or which temperance we're going to talk about on the
patreon episode only though yeah so let's Temperance. Temperance is a fascinating topic
but that's for our Patreon members only.
So patreon.com Bay Ridge Boys.
So they would actually go
outside of the saloons
and pray.
And pray and like block.
Really?
And like protest.
They remind me of the woke kids of today
who like block traffic.
I was just going to say
wokeness is xenophobia too.
Wokeness is that
In a way.
Puritanical
that puritanical tendency rearing its head.
That's why when I was in Savannah, by the way, you have to go to the Prohibition Museum down there.
It's unbelievable.
I was walking through.
It's so well curated.
It's one of the best experiences I've had in a museum.
It's so unbelievable.
Let me tell you something that's saying a lot because Yanni, the kid, loves museums.
I'm stone cold.
I mean, he's been to every museum in New York City.
And a great day for Yannis is to take the ferry and get a smoothie and go to a museum.
That's number one.
That's what it is.
That's the number one thing for him.
Yeah.
It's so good, that museum.
It's so well curated.
They have a speakeasy in there.
They do live music in there.
After the museum shuts down, you can go in there and drink.
Did you go in there with your wife? We didn't go at night,
but we went during the day
to the whole thing. They have a story.
They take you through the story of Prohibition from the
rise, the peak, and the fall.
That's inevitable to happen. If you've seen
Boardwalk Empire,
that's what it's about.
Prohibition, Atlantic City and Prohibition.
It was a 13 year run
and some
states
kept Prohibition
as a state law
Oklahoma and Kansas kept it
up until the last state
that stopped it was like
the 50s or almost close to the 60s
which state was that?
I don't know
I just found it interesting though I thought that it was the consumption,
but it's actually just the sale of alcohol that was not allowed.
You can actually consume it, but you weren't allowed to sell it.
So that's why bootlegging and speakies.
And in churches, you could still drink wine in church.
Like in Catholic Sunday Mass, you were still drinking the blood of Christ.
There was a loophole for religion and a loophole for medicinal purposes.
But what medicinal purposes were alcohol?
I don't know.
It was much like now, like oxys or whatever.
You'd have some corrupt doctor going like he has anxiety.
He needs to calm down.
He needs to drink for whatever reason.
I mean in a way, we've been living in a way way i mean because it's obviously things are going to change like we've been living for a long
time for our whole lives in a prohibition of weed right i mean weed has been legal marijuana
it's going to be like the same way that alcohol became legal to these people and they were getting
it on a black market anyway i think that's what it is with weed we're in a modern day prohibition
which is very i mean it's going to change any day now where this is just going to be legal and the prohibition if you will
of marijuana will be lifted because it's it was stupid for alcohol and it's stupid for weed
that's actually a great point thank you that's actually good mississippi was the last state in
1966 they also last one to abolish slavery too it was like it was like around that time like
technically was still on their books like slavery was still written somewhere in their law until like the late 50s.
I mean that state
is wild.
Yeah.
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean just that it's
I mean we got to do
an episode on Mississippi.
I mean the state is so
it's so wild that place.
And then we're going
to get on a plane
and we're going to go there
and we're going to hunt
for some cute
because I guarantee
there's cute shit there.
Yeah.
There's cute shit there.
Sometimes you got to just
peel back a couple layers
from a place.
Find the cute.
Find the cute.
Mississippi officially
submitted the required documentation
to ratify, to abolish
slavery, the 13th Amendment, in 2013.
Wild!
Wild!
February 2013.
You can't do that!
What are you doing, Mississippi, you can't do that! Mississippi, what are you doing, Mississippi?
You can't do that.
I mean, it's a wild state.
That's a fucking wild state.
I mean, this episode's not about Mississippi, but it just needs to be said that Mississippi is wild.
Mississippi's fucking...
Any fans from Mississippi, call in and tell us how fucking wild your state is.
Your state is full-blown stone-cold Franks and Beans.
Yeah, I mean, Eli Manning came from there, and Eli Manning played for Ole Miss, and I mean, the kid's got a Franks and Beans face.
It's what it is.
Yeah, the Giants are out.
Yeah, the Giants are done.
Okay, so...
So this 13-year run, and finally, it was ratified as the 18th Amendment that the distribution
and selling of alcohol was illegal, and that set the course for the next 13 years of fucking wildness.
Yeah.
Because you can't just take away booze.
People love booze.
People have been drinking booze for thousands of years.
Now, here's a little bit of an uncomfortable truth to talk about uncomfortable truths.
I love when we have this whole segment.
Northern European kids, generally, much like Native Americans, not as extreme as Native Americans, or even Asians who've been drinking alcohol for less of their history as a people.
Okay.
They don't have the, I don't know the science, but it's like an enzyme.
Enzyme or protein to break it down?
To break it down the way that Southern Europeans do.
That's why the incidence of alcoholism is so much higher amongst Northern Europeans.
So the stereotypes, like most stereotypes, do have a kernel of truth.
They have a harder time with alcohol.
There's more alcoholics and alcohol is more of a problem in Northern Europe, in all those countries.
When I was a physical therapist, there's an actual condition, only it's exclusive to Northern urine northern european ancestry alcoholics that's
called a du poitrine's contracture these kids drink so much that their hands contract and you
can't there's nothing we can do it's just a du poitrine's contracture and it's only northern
european kids yeah so it's like the end like you said just like how northern europeans have an
like people want to admit like with this oh we're all created equal absolutely treat everybody
equally of course but it's like we're so different it's not even close i mean fucking
eastern hemi's have a gene in their body they don't smell right the kids don't smell right
like koreans they have this gene where they don't they don't they don't stink yeah i mean i can still
smell them coming but they don't smell i mean we're all human yeah we're all like we all like
share like we're all the same.
There really is.
We all like if you go back far enough, there's probably two kids we're all related to.
Yeah.
We're also all probably different breeds though too. But if you stay in one environment for a long time, you start to develop different traits.
And it's absolutely true.
We're a little different.
It's okay to admit that.
And culturally.
It's okay to admit that.
I think most of racism isn't really racism.
It's okay to admit that. I think most of racism isn't really racism. It's more cultural.
It's more like people just can't – they see another culture and they get away with it.
They just push it away.
But even culture, I know we've said it on the podcast, but it's like even when people get bent out of shape about that, it's like whatever your culture is, most likely it's really what the enemies of your culture just forced down your throat after they conquered you and your people.
It's what what the enemies of your culture just forced down your throat after they conquered you and your people. It's what it is.
Like whatever you think your culture is, whatever you want to stand for, your culture, my – you're taking my culture – what do they say?
Culture vulture.
Culture vulture.
You're appropriating – Cultural appropriation.
You're culturally appropriating this hairstyle or this food or this look or this way.
It's like do you understand that your great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfathers would be spinning in their graves if they saw what you were doing because you think
it's your culture but it's really the enemy that conquered you a thousand years ago just
fucking blasted their culture through you and now everyone just absorbs it through osmosis so
there's real it's just where common human there's a common human identity yeah that you lead with
that yeah as opposed to all this other oh i'm this and i'm even oh even your country it's like what is your country what are you talking about it's like what
america it's just lines that some guy made up it's not real none of it's real yeah as as as fake as a
god of a religion is so is so are the flags i mean i fucking stand by it and i will not kneel when
that national anthem comes on i was about to stand up no i an American kid. I got a little concerned for a second.
Listen, I'm an American kid, but it's even like – I was watching yesterday on the plane a documentary about the Somme in World War I, the bloodiest battle in World War I.
I think over a million people on the French, British, and German side collectively were killed in like a three-month war.
It's like they all died for nothing. They didn't gain any they gained like i think the germans gained 600 yards and the british
and the french gained like 400 yards and they died for it was all stupid it's like you're all the
same we're all just these fucking babbling monkeys yeah from different lines on a map that some guy
created it's not real yeah you don't have to kill people over that yeah i mean but you do because
then it's a you know it's fucking population control.
It's like,
I can't sit in traffic.
So unfortunately,
your country sucks.
I got to blow it up.
Yeah.
I mean,
we definitely got to slow down making people at some point,
especially in a few places.
It's like,
listen,
guy,
China and India,
you guys got to slow down a little bit.
Yeah.
Just stop.
Stop it.
Stop.
There's too many of you guys.
Do you think that there could be a thing, and this may be fucking be fucking wild do you think like if you know when you get to a
certain age when you get to a sexual reproduction age if your iq is a certain level they just got
a main they just got a snippet jesus christ uh yeah i mean there's just german in there it's
those are just german bad ideas okay those are Those are bad German ideas. It's a character
piece. Yeah, it's a character.
It's not who I am. Yeah, I mean, talk about
how it's just people are different.
There's a German kid right there. That just
comes from a German brain. It was
a bad idea. Jesus Christ. I'm drunk.
Speaking of
World War I, thank you, Chris, for
bringing that up. Yeah, Venetia, you've got
to be louder. Yeah, they can't hear you. Well, you know you're not a performer. You're not doing, for bringing that up. Yeah. Venetia, you've got to be louder.
Oh, okay. Yeah, they can't hear you.
Well, you know you're not a performer.
You're not doing a character piece.
I'm not.
No, but your voice is still dope.
Yeah, but you're just much like a Greek woman and a Greek mother.
When the public are watching, she's like, I'm just as sweet.
That's what my mothers do.
She meet you in public.
I'm just as sweet, quiet.
And then when the cameras are off, sit over there, fucking do it.
Yeah.
She gets you going
yeah yeah okay so what were you saying so um of course for so many years they were trying to
make hold on hold on a second let's just for a second let's just do just give a second joe
joe what's up what's up kid how you doing what's up you filthy pig piece of shit
you know dude you know i'm just fucking i'm just creating know, dude, you know, I'm just fucking, I'm just creating shit, dude.
Creating disasters, you know what I do, dude?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a pig. I'm a pig. You're a dirty pig.
You're also on the History Hyenas podcast live.
What's up, Rosers?
Yeah, I mean, Joey D.
Joey D's constantly
doing 2 to 22 bids.
Yeah. Because he goes raw dog and then
you know what it is? You're just to deal with it. You're just in worry prison
for 22 days.
You know, dude,
I told you though, dude.
I've done so much time
at this point.
I don't ever feel it anymore.
Yeah, you know the guards
and everything.
They're like,
welcome back, Joey.
I'm calling you about
I'm calling you
with you got
Chrissy Dean now. Yeah, that's our podcast. Yeah, I'm here, Joey. What'm calling... You got Chrissy D in the house?
Yeah, that's our podcast.
Yeah, I'm here, Joey.
What's up, babe?
Yeah.
He sounds far away.
That's all.
It sounds like you're like...
Well, hurry it up,
because you're...
Joey, hold on.
Yeah, because we're at the mics.
Yeah, guy.
Yeah, listen.
I'm sorry.
I got your voicemail the other day
about Bay Ridge.
I like the...
I think it's a great neighborhood,
but let me just...
The only question I have to you...
There's one prereq that we obviously got to ask anybody moving into Bay Ridge. Get the way Jean-G button ready. There like the... I think it's a great neighborhood, but let me just... The only question I have, there's one prereq that we
obviously got to ask anybody moving into Bay Ridge.
Get the way Jean-G but ready. There's just... No, just one prereq.
It's just, who'd you vote for the last election?
Because if it's Hillary,
I'm going to ask you to find another neighborhood.
Listen, I think
Bay Ridge would be good for me. I always vote
Italian. There it is.
Listen, if you like... Listen to me, if you like Italian food.
I'm going to put him in my apartment, so just tell him to stop overthinking it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're going to?
Okay, that's great.
I'm going to put him in my apartment.
Well, yeah, that's good because now you're saving a suicide from somebody else.
So it's good.
Yeah, we'll tell you about that off the edge, Roses.
I wanted to see if he could send me some pics.
I wanted to talk apartment.
All you got to know, Joey, let me tell you something.
Just scroll back on my Instagram.
All you got to know about Yanni's apartment is you got a perfect view of the Freedom Tower.
That should sell you right there.
Yeah, that's it.
You can see freedom out your fucking window.
Yeah.
So what do you want, guy?
Yeah.
You can see the pillar of fucking freedom where the fucking towers went down and we lost fucking good kids that day.
Yeah.
You can see the fucking-
It's a one fucking bedroom apartment in New York City, Joey.
What do you want?
It's in a beautiful neighborhood.
The apartment's beautiful.
It'll be fully furnished for you.
The bathroom needs a renovation
and that's it.
Yeah, and you can get prostitutes
in there late night on the elevator.
Yeah.
Joey Roses.
Can I have my dog there, Jonas?
Of course you can have your dog there.
I got a dog.
I mean, what are you,
fucking stupid?
Yeah, no.
We could have the dog.
Cuz, and, guess what?
The best news is... And you kind of look
like me, so that'll be good that you can fill in for
Chrissy D, because when he wants to take a walk... Yeah, because
I like to take a lot of walks.
You could probably use my gym membership and use it, and then
when my face comes up on the screen, we just look like the
same person. Yeah, you guys look like the same guy, so that'll
help me out a lot, because I'm really going to be sad
when Yanni leaves, but at least I'll just have you. But the thing is
you'll get cracked
open though too.
Here's the thing, Chrissy.
You're going to have to play a big role in my
life when I move into that neighborhood.
We're going to have
to ramp it up a little bit. We're going to have to become
a little more dependent on each other, a little
closer emotionally.
I'm going to need a guy to...
Alright, that was joe de rosa
that's all back to venetia yeah so um the temperance act basically they had been trying
to pass the balsa act for many years and so what happened is that they finally got some
encouragement because of world war one because uh because the nation needed actually to use
the... Well, that was a big propaganda
thing, too. They were saying, they used it.
They were like, we should be using this for bread
because we're in war and not for alcohol.
And so...
We need it for the boys.
Can you text him, though? Text to Rose. I feel bad.
Don't worry. It's funny. Don't worry about it.
But I feel bad for the kid.
We're on a podcast, so it's fine.
Yeah, he's fine.
He fucking opens up for Bill Burr.
I mean, me and fucking, we abuse each other all the time.
It's fun stuff.
You got a mean streak, guy.
I got a huge mean streak.
Yeah, thank God you're not German.
Yeah.
Something about Joe?
You want to step to this?
Try it.
Yeah.
Anyway.
All right, so yeah.
It's just a joke.
It's a character piece.
World War I.
So yeah, what were the crazy things that you guys thought happened during the Prohibition time?
There was a lot of wild stuff like, you know, this is a time where there's gangs coming out, like the speakeasies.
Well, just some HHFODs.
That was great that you said.
It was called, it's the 18th Amendment, and it was called the Volstead Act.
So that's officially, boom.
Prohibition is now law of the land for 13
fucking years. But specifically
prohibition means you cannot manufacture it,
you can't sell it, but you can
consume it. It's illegal. So if you can get your
dirty pauper paws on it... If you can get your dirty
pauper paws on it, you could, but I don't think
you could consume it.
You just weren't... No, you were allowed to
consume it, but you weren't allowed to
manufacture it or sell it
So that's why everybody
Is creating these
And what's a speakeasy
For people who don't know
Speakeasy is those
Secret little bars
Like that you have to have
The secret knock
To know to get in
And people would be drinking
You know under cover
Yeah
At night
You know the police
At this time
They were going around
They were fucking
Raiding
You know
Wherever they would find
illegal booze everything was a booze was illegal they would you know there's all those famous
videos and photos of cops just using those axes to kind of sure because there was you know there
was squads there was prohibition squads that would go around and try to find alcohol i mean the um
elliot ness and his boys the famous movie their whole goal was to fight bootleggers.
What was the –
In Chicago.
In Chicago.
What was the prison terms?
What would you get if you got caught?
Does anybody know?
That's a good question.
How long – because if you get caught selling weed, it's not that big of a deal anymore.
Yeah.
It is, of course.
Of course, if you get caught smoking it, nothing even happens.
Even – you would get a ticket, maybe,
in some states. ISIS, can you look that up?
Like, I want to know, like, how it was criminalized.
And also, Al Capone,
this is where Al Capone becomes, like, the famous
Al Capone is because he excelled in
bootlegging. I mean, Kidd was here for
a short time, not a long time. Because another
real quick, another quick one-day
trip we got to do is the Eastern State Penitentiary. Go down
to Philadelphia, get some butyr, get some Gina's Cheese Steaks, and then go visit the Eastern State Penitentiary. Go down to Philadelphia, get some butyr, get some Gina's cheesesteaks, and then go visit the Eastern State Penitentiary.
It's an old-school Quaker prison that was haunted and also housed Al Capone for five years.
So we could do that.
That's good.
We should do that.
Yeah.
Don't tell the girl I want to crack it.
So in 1917 –
Here, I'm not spending it to you.
Snapchat, CD, TV.
It was actually Woodrow Wilson, the kid, Woodrow Wilson, who was kind of an asshole.
We'll do another episode of him. Yeah, which is a good name for your piece, Woodrow Wilson. Woodrow Wilson is a great name for your piece. Woodrow Wilson, the kid, Woodrow Wilson, who was kind of an asshole. We'll do another episode of him.
Yeah, which is a good name for your piece, Woodrow Wilson.
Woodrow Wilson's a great name for your piece.
He's the one who, he kind of,
he started it. He instituted a temporary
wartime prohibition in
order to save grain for producing food.
But that was a little bullshit. I think it was a little
propaganda. It was like
he was doing a little test to be like, hey, we're going to
start this way and rationalize it. A little bit of an FF. Yeah, that he was doing a little test to be like, hey, we're going to start this way and rationalize it.
A little bit of an FF.
Yeah, that we're banning alcohol to save grain when really, you know.
FF move.
There's plenty of fucking food here.
Yeah, FF move.
So that was like the first little prohibition that happened.
It was like a little prohibition like they were just a tip.
Test it out.
Hitler would do shit like that actually too.
Yeah, now I'm listening.
No, he would.
He would fucking ban.
He would do a little thing and see how people react, and then he would go further.
That's actually, we can get into that in another episode as well.
The punishment would be a $5,000 fine or imprisonment for not exceeding one year or both.
Wow.
I mean, 5Gs, I mean, inflation rates, I mean, that's a fucking big, you can't, normal, everyday
person can't pay a $5,000 fine.
No, that's a lot.
So what they used medicinal whiskey for back in the day was like toothaches, flu, you know,
because it would numb you out.
So that's what they would do.
It was also an astringent because it's alcohol, so it would clean.
Still to this day, my pediatrician, I remember when my daughter was teething, they were like,
put a little rum on her pacifier.
Yeah, numb it out.
Still to this day, it's the best thing to do.
Numbed it out.
Numbed it out.
Yeah.
So, you know, obviously in this 13-year period, we have the rise of organized crime, the most
famous being in Chicago.
Al Capone.
And he was a New York kid.
I was going to say, the kid, again, he comes from New Amsterdam.
I know these, anybody who gets famous, I mean, Carmelo Anthony, Michael Jordan, I mean, these kids come from New Amsterdam.
I'm just going to call it New Amsterdam.
Yeah, Jordan was born in New York City.
It's just what it is.
Mike Tyson.
Bill Burr wants to deny that, but it's just the truth, Billy.
It's just the truth, Billy.
So just stop it. You're a good, funny guy, because I guarantee you somebody in your family grew up in New Amsterdam. Yeah,'s just what it is. Mike Tyson. Bill Burr wants to deny that, but it's just the truth, Billy. It's just the truth, Billy. So just stop it.
You're a good funny guy
because I guarantee you
somebody in your family
grew up in New Amsterdam.
Yeah, it's what it is.
And also,
he's a New York comic, really.
Yeah, you got good in New York.
You really got good in New York.
So, you know,
federal and local authorities
started to work in concert
to enforce prohibition.
And this was the roaring 20s, man.
So at this time, you used to have women starting to kind of live and go out and dance.
You have the famous images of what they call the flappers, that whole style.
Women were kind of breaking free.
Women were starting to vote.
And they were fucking boozing.
Suffrage movement.
Jazz was coming.
You go to those little black speakeasies in Harlem and wherever in New York City,
and people were drinking booze and dancing.
Yeah.
That was the spirit of the time.
Al Capone was making like $6 million fucking dollars a week.
A week?
That's how much money he was getting moving booze.
Yeah.
And he famously said, hey-
If that kid had a Patreon, it would sell tickets.
He would fucking move tickets.
He actually earned $60 million annually, a year.
I mean, so much money, he didn't know what to do with it.
He was here for a good time, a long time. That kid had a short run.
That kid had to have had more money
than some governments at that time.
Some national governments.
That kid had more money than fucking Finland.
You look at the
big drug dealers who make the money, the famous
ones like Al Capone and then
Pablo Escobar. they do have a point.
They're making so much money because there's
a huge demand for it.
So it's like if they don't do it, somebody else
is going to do it. So at some point,
I don't know, what do you do?
It's like, do you want me to be a capitalist or not?
Because you're telling me you're
putting capitalist ideologies in my head from day
one and then what, I can't go be a capitalist and sell some
fucking coke? Yeah.
I mean, because Miami...
That's what it is.
The thing is, the black booze market, because of Prohibition, it's not taxed and everything.
The government was losing a lot of fucking money that they could have been taxing.
And this whole black market was one of the main economies of America.
Just like cocaine, nobody wants to talk about it, but the whole city of Miami runs on the economy of cocaine.
That's where it all comes in.
Nobody has a real job. Everyone's dealing
fucking coke. It's the shadow economy
of Miami.
Oh, it's like, oh, Miami.
And again, who likes to do fucking booze and who likes to do coke?
White kids.
White! Yeah, the fucking dolphins
are doing blow.
A lot of people were dying as well because they were trying to make moonshine.
And so I think like 10,000 people died over the years because of this.
So it just goes to show.
Oh, like you mean the alcohol was like tainted.
It's like the Dominican Republic.
Well, yeah, people were making moonshine in their bathtubs.
And they were making it out in the country.
A lot of these southern kids were making moonshine out in the country.
Sure.
And so, you know, the political party came up, you know,
rose up around prohibition.
You had these ministers who were giving these fiery speeches,
one of which was this former professional baseball player.
I can't remember his name.
He was actually in Savannah.
And he would give these fiery speeches about how we got to stop drinking
and the behavior that
comes around drinking.
Yeah, but meanwhile, he was probably fucking seducing little boys.
It's all balanced.
It's all how it is.
It's what it is.
It's all like you want to be a tyrant and you want to be, sorry, puritanical about one
thing.
I guarantee you it's because you're hiding another.
The most-
100%.
The safest people are the people that are just, they kind of don't get bent out of shape
about anything.
Yeah, and the kind of people who-
I'm living my life the right way.
Who don't hide anything and admit that they're flawed and show you.
Yeah, there it is.
Those people who are often pointing the finger.
You can't point the finger.
You've got to get the law.
That's why you need law.
Yeah.
That's why laws are so important,
and those laws need to be based on reason and logic,
and they need to be good laws.
Yeah.
And that's what it is.
Yeah.
So this was obviously a very bad law.
It did not work.
A lot of tax dollars being lost.
Now you've got bloodshed
everywhere.
I mean,
people are drinking the same.
Driving drunk.
It's just the same shit.
It didn't do anything.
After 13 years, FDR
finally is like, look, this isn't working.
The whole country knew it wasn't working.
People are being murdered in Chicago over this shit.
Bootleggers everywhere.
People are still drinking.
You can't control it.
Like prostitution, like weed.
People are still going to do it.
So they boom, slap a tax on it.
Now it's for the government.
They repeal it with the 21st Amendment.
They repeal the Volstead Act.
The 18th Amendment is repealed by FDR,
and he famously celebrated the repeal by drinking a fucking dirty martini
because he's an inbred, elite, British fucking kid.
It's just what it is.
He had polio, and he couldn't stand up because he's inbred.
He went to the best schools and everything, but make no mistake,
those elite families, they're all related, and they're inbred.
He was related to Teddy Roosevelt. They're related to probably
some British gang. They're all related to some
German fucking prince who lives
in a basement and eats his kids.
And that... Just back for that.
And we're back.
And we're back.
For legal reasons.
Yeah, we're back.
We're not trying to keep any content from you.
It's just Chrissy's too fucking wild.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
You can't be controlled.
What are we going to do in the live show?
Like alcohol consumption.
What are we going to do on the live show?
Because we're just going to have to have the cops here. You can't have your phones
out November 9th at Gramercy Theater. You can't record
anything. Yeah, just don't record. If you're a fan,
please don't do that. Please don't do that. Just don't
fucking record. Alright, listen.
So, on the Patreon
episode, we're going to talk about temperance, which is wild.
Now, for our fans who went, we have a lot
of new Patreon
members. Welcome to the matriarchy.
They went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
What we like to do here, if you're new to this podcast, if you're new to the family, welcome.
We read out the new Patreon members.
We read their names out when they first sign up, the first episode, to just give them a shout-out, say thank you.
We encourage funny names.
And a lot of you people did funny names this time.
And we understand if you don't
want to make a funny name we'll just read your name and then we'll say you're straight to the
back and you're only here for the content maybe you have a job you have a family you don't want
people to know that you're listening to such wild shit we understand that we support that
so yannis are you ready there's a lot to there's a lot to get through there's there's a lot so
listen also if you guys don't fast forward through this,
listen to this because the names are really funny.
So you ready?
Yeah.
Yanni, you ready?
Yeah.
Okay, first up, I'm going to read them quick.
I have to read them quick because it's a lot.
Okay.
Tony, spin the wheel, wear mom's stockings, maybe suck a dick bones.
Okay.
I mean, these guys, it's like athletes evolving.
They're getting better.
Better.
Okay, then we got Matthew, openly racist,
but it's just a character piece, Kavanaugh.
Then we got Aaron Rule here for the content.
Then we got Matt, my knuckles are hairy, but I'm still a piece whore.
Ten.
John Campbell, Zach Krohmer here for the content.
Carly, it's just what it is, Giuliano.
If you have an Italian last name like Giuliano, you don't have to worry about having such a funny name
because we just laughed because your last name is Giuliano.
Giuliano is funny.
Italian names are just funny for some reason.
For some reason.
They're inherently funny.
Yeah.
Brian, I got 1K.
Sorry.
Brian, I got $1,000.
Can I wrap Bert in a sheet and beat him with batteries?
Okay.
We may have to cackle that one out, but it's funny.
And he still hates me.
And he loves you.
Yeah.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
Then we got this guy's name.
This guy's full name is I Caught the Gay from these two Bay Ridge Queens bad.
Yeah.
Then we got Ryan, one word, not mean.
Yeah.
When we say Ryan, one word.
Yeah, me.
Not mean means that we're saying it's a black guy.
Because black guys in comedy, they usually just go by one name.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, me.
Earthquake, just one name.
Godfrey, one name.
Yeah, heart.
Yeah, heart.
Okay, Andrew McLaren here for the content.
Here for the content.
Matt, totally not a toot, but my last name is Hooker.
God.
Ten?
Yeah, I mean, fuck, Ted, PPW nominee.
Then we got Chrissy, cock on my cranium, to stuff a muffin.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
Chrissy, cock on my cranium, to stuff it in. To stuff it in. To stuff it in. Sorry about that. Yeah, well, I think sorry. Chrissy, cock on my cranium.
Just stuff it in.
Just stuff it in.
Just stuff it in.
Sorry about that.
Well, I think you punched it up for him.
Then we got this one, and this one is a way.
I'm just doing a preemptive way, Sean Sheehan.
Understand, I'm not saying this.
I'm just reading the name as is.
Steven the Thick Dick Spick Martinez.
PPW nominee.
Okay, yeah, but that's a tough one.
You can't.
Well, it's him.
I'm not saying it, but that's a slur, guys.
But he's saying it.
All right.
He's obviously-
He's a white walker.
Okay.
Okay, then we got Julian just trying to find a piece with a decent pseudo-penis.
Why?
Good?
Good.
Stephanie, Chrissy D., White C., Eclardin, and me, Adams.
That all rhymes.
PPW nominee.
PPW nominee.
Then we got Jay, the Ridgewood Wop that still is trash from the island,
St. Angelo.
Ten.
Then we got Serge, John Baptiste, here for the content.
I'm here for the content.
David Ivac, Tim Langmaid, Dylan Wolfuck, all here for the content.
Wow, just a couple guys in raincoats all walking back to the porn section.
It's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then we got Tom, Lean Mean Mean Bratwurst Peace Machine
punching through
Deutsch-Virgin Holtz.
Oh my God.
Make a note.
I think that we got a winner.
How are you going to beat that?
We have like 40 more.
All right.
Jesus.
Natasha Bynum here for the content.
Yeah.
Ray crashed my car
listening to the boys'
wild mess dad.
Good.
We appreciate the compliment.
One name Geneva.
Nah, I mean.
Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean.
Then we got Austin.
Make no mistake,
I had to ask Chrissy
for the Patreon info, cuz.
Funny.
Funny, Ted.
Funny, but he just,
Clyde Drexler.
Then we got Shurim Job.
Shurim Job?
Shurim Job.
That's a, yeah, I mean.
He went for it.
Yeah, he's a black kid.
Is that a guy's name
or a girl's?
Shurim?
I don't know.
Shurim Job.
Then we got Skyler.
Keep the antihistamines
under the tuckback sack, Guadalupe. God, Jesus Christ,. Shurim Job. Then we got Skyler. Keep the antihistamines under the tuckback sack.
Guadalupe.
Jesus Christ, that's good.
Yeah.
Then we got Josh German.
Mia Piccioni.
Mia Piccioni, how you doing?
Yeah, you don't need to do nothing.
Then we got Dildo underscore Swaggins.
Yeah.
Then we got Thatcher Weisbrot.
Oh, it's a German kid.
It's German.
Thatcher Weisbrot.
Yes. He would be against prohibition. Then we got Nikki Meet Me in the Back. Oh, it's a German kid. It's German. Thatcher Weisbrot. Yes.
He would be against prohibition.
Then we got Nikki meet me in the back of Uncle Vinny's parking lot.
They'll grow so.
She probably saw you at Uncle Vinny's.
Yeah.
Then we got Louie Lard Tits, a.k.a. Louie Butt Plugs, a.k.a. Bin Fong Fell in the Duck Sauce.
Good.
Good.
Then we got Colin pushing the gay down
Part Potato Monkey, part Lee White
Yeah, that's a goodie
Can we make a note of that guy?
Yeah
Then we got Stephanie Tramba here for the content
Dana Mecca here for the content
Steel Pipe Caitlin
Then we got Kieran, one word
Then we got John Swanson here for the content
Wow, we got a lot of guys in raincoats going to the back
Alberto Galvez, Mark Reese here for the content.
Then we got Danny Garlicbread Fumes, but last name's Brown Benavidez.
Then we got Amanda Ray, Leah, Brian Lucy, Chad Caldwell, Forrest Workman, Evan Anderson, Lacey Bradley all here for the content.
Wow, that was like a tour bus group that's just walking back to the porn section.
For the content.
Yeah.
Then we got The Escalator to Nowhere.
Okay.
Ten.
Creative, creative.
Then we got Brother Man Bill.
Brother Man Bill's good.
Alex V, here for the content.
Yeah.
Greggy, get the, get, Greggy, Gore the Glendale, Whole War, Trump 2020.
I don't know what this kid said.
He's probably hammered when he did it
Jack Zerr here for the content
Then we got Ashley the Annie Oakley
Of Glue Guns
Neil B
He's an R&B singer
Then we got Ross
That was the first week
Because those are the week ones
Because we didn't do an episode last week.
So this is two weeks of Patreon.
So we'll have two PBDW winners.
Yes.
Okay, so we're done on that one?
We're done on that one.
Yeah, the one I told you to make note of.
Which one was that?
There's four that you did.
Okay, let's hear them.
Oh, you want to pick out right now?
We're going to do this, and then we're going to go to the...
Okay, go ahead.
Number 12, 16.
What was number 12, Chris?
Number 12 was Matt, totally not a two, but my last name is Hooker.
Number 16.
Number 16, Stephanie, Chrissy D, White Z, Aclarendon, and me, Adams.
Yeah.
Okay.
22.
22 is Tom Lean Mean Bratwurst Peace Machine Punching Through Deutsch-Vegene Haltz.
I'm going there.
I think that's a PPW.
Yeah, so that's a no-brainer.
But listen, the other ones were great, too.
One of the great ones, just do the other half.
Well, that's the Thick Dick.
Yeah, there's also a half
Leroy half Potato Monkey.
Yeah, that's a good one, too.
And also, Martinez was a good one.
Alright, so that's week one, so congrats
to the Bratwurst Machine. And then real quick, just stay with us. The other names are funny. Oh, they love it.. And also, Martinez was a good one. Okay. All right, so that's week one. So congrats to the Brantwurst machine.
Yeah.
And then real quick, just stay with us.
The other names are funny.
Oh, they love it.
Don't worry.
They ain't going nowhere.
Thank you.
Okay, real quick.
Ross, Texas-sized situation with the mother brown.
Goody.
Ten.
Yeah.
Amanda, not mean.
Yeah, I mean.
Joshua Torres, Mike Anthony, Marcus Waitling, and Will.
Hey, here, where's the porn section?
Yes.
Yeah.
Then Gary, can I get an order of Weishan Xian with extra duck sauce Crowley?
Okay.
Good.
Angela Costaneda.
Sounds like a piece.
Yeah, how you doing?
Agent J.
Oh, we got some agents coming in now.
Agent?
Agent J.
Okay.
Then we got Renee True Blue Screwed In Kid Fielder.
Good.
Thank you.
Good.
Isaac, one name, not me.
Yeah, me.
Then we got Mikey from the Midwest, but can't stop talking in your burrow trash accent.
Yeah.
Like Mikey.
Like it.
Yeah.
Marcus Sanchez.
I'm here for the content.
Riley, the seal clubbing new fee who likes FFs and Chrissy's leper feet.
Yeah.
I mean, we got to make a note, Venetia.
Yeah.
Then we got this guy, Georgie Toodles.
That means that kid's a Newfie.
That means he's from Newfoundland in Canada.
Georgie Toodles.
Georgie Toodles, funny.
Funny.
I think that's just the kid's real name.
Yeah, it might be.
Then we got No Fumes Nick
cracked open a Minnesota muzzy
was surprisingly hard.
Yeah,
Wei Shouqian.
PPWWD?
Yeah,
I mean,
should we just stop there?
Yeah.
I mean,
it's so wrong.
How wrong could that,
I didn't see that one coming.
No Fumes Nick is a funny fucking name anyway.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Holy shit.
He might have got me the worst of all of them. Yeah.
Then we got Austin Huss, Bob, WJ, Steel Pipe Kelly with the smoothie, Plain and Simp.
That's a good one.
Plain and Simp's an oldie.
Plain and Simp has been a fan for a while.
And again, it's all about timing because that's a really funny one, but and Oldie She's been a fan for a while And again You're just It's all about timing
Because that's a really funny one
But it's coming off
The cracked open
I mean
It's just
Those are
Clyde Drexler
We'll call him Clyde Drexler
I mean
They're just born in the wrong era
Sam Gorney
Oh god
Make no mistake
Gonna crack you open
And clean you out
Then cancel
It's a character piece
10
Good
They're just busy
They joined the Patreon
Just for the name reading.
They're out.
Then we got Amber Faith Sarita.
Okay.
I'm here for the content.
Robert Licata.
Yeah, Robert Licata walks in and goes, excuse me, sir, do you have a bathroom I could use?
Yeah.
And then goes to the porn section.
Yeah, goes to the porn section.
Then we got Quad.
One name.
His name's just Quad.
Yeah, I mean.
Then we got Shaq, the muzziest muzzy there ever was-y.
Good.
The muzziest muzzy there ever was-y.
I mean, if that's not a Clyde Drexler, I don't know what.
I mean, it's just he could have won in another year.
Yeah.
Then we got Carlo, just put the wig back on.
It's another goodie.
Make a note.
Nominee.
Oh, he actually says, Carlo, just put the wig back on.
Don't eat meat and take me physically.
That's even better.
Yeah, he's a nominee.
Then we got...
Some of you just suffered from a bad read from Chrissy.
Yeah.
Then we got Justin Scum Cousy Shishke Me Marky.
Another nominee.
God damn it.
Then we got Connor, parentheses, I love my mother, woman's a saint, McEntee.
Yeah, it's a good Irish Catholic kid.
Then we got this kid.
This kid is just saying his name.
He says, Orlando, here for the content, Martinez.
He's letting you know. He's just letting you Martinez. He's letting you know. He's just letting
you know. He's letting you know. He's just here for the content.
Excuse me, sir. Do you guys
have... I'm looking for Ferris Bueller's...
Oh, I think it's in that room. Yeah.
Then we have Jason just here for the content,
Herman. So people are just doing that.
Kids walking straight to the back in a raincoat. Then we have
Sean, one word, one name.
Yeah, I mean... Then we have Jason,
Fumeless, FF, Steel Pipe, Snow Monkey, Grandy.
It's a goodie.
Yeah.
I know the ones you like when you read them at the end and the draw just comes right out.
Your draw is like a fucking sock draw.
It just opens up.
Then we have this one.
Then we have Steven uses Suvlaki.
Steven uses Suvlaki as anal beads, calipeptus.
Huh?
Oh, Jason, just here for the content, Herman.
Oh, Jason, just here for the content, Herman.
Yeah.
Suvaki Kid was funny.
Yeah.
Then we got Eric Rodeck.
Then we got Hefty Schlongdinger.
Then we got Tim.
Timmy, I mean, yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
Mikeology.
Who?
Mikeology.
That's his name, Mikeology.
Okay, that kid's in a raincoat.
Sam.
Sam, yeah, I mean, he's in a raincoat. Sam? Sam, yeah, I mean he's in a raincoat.
Here for the content.
Franklin E. Munoz?
That kid is just here for the content. Excuse me, I'm here looking for a movie.
Then we got James the Drunken Pierogi Stolarski?
That's what it is.
Good, yeah.
Then we got Franks and Beans the Staten Island Sauce Monkey Hiding Out in PA.
Yes.
Then we got Daryl Melendez.
Here for the content.
Then we got Pino Grige, anti-heist.
Good.
Good.
Then we got paid my way into the Third Reich's non-toot fume room.
It's just what it is.
Goody.
Ten.
Yeah.
Then we got Leroy Sanchez.
Leroy Sanchez.
Ten.
Andrew Sterndale.
Uh-huh.
Malcolm King Gay Bridges.
We're here for the content, guys.
Danny the Bulgarian Barbarian Drinking Out of Nikiforos' Skull Damnyov.
He went for it.
He's wild.
He went for it.
He's a wild kid.
Then we got Griffin Overweiss.
That's a German.
Okay.
And those are our newest Patreon members.
It took a little while, but listen, you guys are signing up.
We're going to read them, and they're hilarious.
So who's week two's PPW?
I mean, come on.
That was a blowout.
I think it was No Fumes Nick Cracked Open, and Minnesota Muzzy was surprisingly hard.
Yeah.
That's it.
So you win.
But there was a few goodies, a couple of honorable mentions that we said after you read them.
Yes.
But I mean, that one cracked me hard.
Yeah.
Yeah, because that one was wrong.
It's just wrong.
It's just wrong.
And a lot of times, the funniest thing is the wrong thing.
And it's just that's why we do comedy.
And that's why we do comedy.
It means in real life, that's wrong. But that's why we do comedy it means in real life
that's wrong
but that's not
comedy doesn't live
in real life
comedy lives in jokes
when you're
we're all purging
the pieces of shit we are
I encourage people
to go check out
Tim Dillon's
Instagram
and Twitter
he just put out a video
of him
it's called
Tim Dillon vs. The Crowd
I believe
or Tim Dillon
something like that
it's just about it's him going on a rant just telling you what it is with comedy and it's just
a 10 out of 10 the kids one of the funniest kids around yeah you can quote me on this comedy is the
purging of the lesser angels of our nature i'm in for a long day you're in for a long fucking day
wow quote me on that guy okay stop pretending like you're pure and good none of us are comedy
is our way to unite because this is an admission of how shitty we all are.
Don't be shitty in the real world.
Be a good person.
Go to historyahinas.com, christycomedy.com, yanispapaslive.com, november9th.
Yanispapascomedy.com.
Yanispapascomedy.com.
I got the same fucking thing that you do.
It's christycomedy.com and yanispapascomedy.com.
YanispapasComedy.com and GiannisPapasComedy.com Whoever bought GiannisPapas.com
Whoever bought GiannisPapas.com
Go fuck yourself, you rat.
But let's be honest.
If you want to see where Giannis is, just know that
go to HistoryIhinas.com
The kid's career's taking a dip.
The career's kid is taking a major dip.
But it's coming right back.
It's coming right back.
It's coming right back like fucking Viagra.
ChrisDComedy.com.
Live show, November 9th.
A lot of it's probably my fucking agent's fault.
It might be time for a switch.
Yeah, well, you're going to do a switch.
Come over.
I got truffles for you, too.
There's a lot of truffles in my agency.
No, I love my agency.
Just joking.
It's a character piece.
Yes, characters.
Well, they're not listening yet because they're not going to make any money on the live tour.
So let's be honest.
So they're not listening.
They're not screwed in. But my agency is booking the live tour. So let's be honest. So they're not listening. They're not screwed in.
But my agency is booking the live tour, so these guys are listening.
So November 9th, Gramercy Theater almost sold out.
Ticket link in the History Hyena's Instagram bio, in Giannis Papas' bio, and Christy Comedy's bio.
Or Google Gramercy Theater Live History Hyena Show, November 9th, midnight.
We also have a new task for you guys, for our Patreon members, the people who have went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.
If you can create a video using History Ahina's languages, like Lisa Johnson, the Queen of the Matriarchy did, make it fun, not hateful, just fun using our terms.
the winner will be announced on November 4th and we'll get two free tickets
to our live History Ahina show
at Gramercy Theater in New York City
Saturday, November 9th at midnight
alright, thank you guys so much
and for our Patreon episode we are going to talk about
Carrie Nation who was
fucking wild
she described herself as a bulldog
running along at the feet of Jesus
and she would go into bars
and break them up with a hatchet.
She was fucking wild.
Wild.
Yeah, okay.
Shout out Linda Stefano.