History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - WEPA in the Morning - Is Joe Biden Okay?!

Episode Date: August 7, 2020

Wepa in the Morning is your favorite Spanish -English speaking, daily news show with fumare, bed head, and a whole lot of WEEEPPAAA!! Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano give you today's headlines.Want ...more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody who wants to have a sleepover it's what's in the morning cuz your tits are on fire this morning holy smokes look at these puppies yeah cuz when we work today i'm gonna fucking work like a goddamn dog doing a downward dog yoga. I've had no coffee. My brain doesn't work. Why haven't you had any coffee yet, Betts? Because I just, today, sometimes a girl just doesn't feel like getting out of bed. And today's one of those days. I got bent out of shape last night, completely scuba dived, had four coronis, and I didn't sleep.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I woke up at 4 a.m. And you could probably, because you're a doctor, tell us why that is. I woke up at 4 a.m. and you could probably, because you're a doctor, tell us why that is. Well, most likely the alcohol was messing with your esophagus, causing your acid reflux to flare up, making your heart beat a little faster. And then you couldn't get into the circadian rhythm and fall asleep. That's exactly what the hell happened because you're smart, smart, smart kid. You know what? You know what pissed me off last night is I was watching the movie Midway, which is about when the Japs, sorry, the Japanese, but they were saying Japs in the movie, B. They were saying, because it's historically accurate,
Starting point is 00:01:34 so I'm just paraphrasing what they said, but I'll say the Japanese in the movie, after they bombed Pearl Harbor, they were going to try to, the whole thing is about the Battle of Midway in the middle of the Pacific and how we needed to win that to put the war effort forward and we sank all their carriers and whatever. But it's all British guys playing American soldiers. And it's like, I'm sick and tired. I'm honestly, I'm sick of it now, where it's like a double standard where like, nobody says anything about this, because it's like, you know, but God forbid, somebody from another race doesn't play or a person who's a paraplegic doesn't you know plays a paraplegic i'm sick and tired of foreigners taking american jobs i mean you know you have it in midway you have you have freaking uh uh trevor noah taking a job john oliver taking a job president obama
Starting point is 00:02:15 taking a job i mean they're not american i mean yeah i mean if you weren't born in this country you shouldn't be able to run for president and you shouldn't be able to cover the news at all. It's what it is. Yeah. Just shut up. I don't give a fuck what your, what your take is at all guy. I don't care at all guy. Yeah. And you gotta, I mean, if you want to do comedy in this country, you should have to get a comedy visa now.
Starting point is 00:02:41 And that could be, we beat the fuck out of you. American comedians beat the fuck out of you. You still want to be here. You can be here. Because you're taking American jobs. And I don't want to see any fucking foreign comedians anymore except for Sacha Baron Cohen because that was the hardest I've ever laughed was in Borat.
Starting point is 00:02:57 The rest of them, get the fuck out of my neighborhood. Get out of my neighborhood. Thank you. Speaking of my neighborhood, they put a Blue Lives Matter painting in Tampa, Florida. Speaking of my neighborhood speaking of my neighborhood they put a blue lives matter painting in Tampa Florida speaking of our neighborhood Bay Ridge Venity has slept there and she's in her car right now she's in her car which
Starting point is 00:03:14 make no mistake is Venity is a piece but her car is a piece of shit she's got a 74 Taurus I mean you that car i mean every time she opens the door i mean you don't know if it's gonna close i mean because it looks like she rescued that car from a junkyard like it was a dog that had been through a lot of stuff and she felt bad for it yeah i mean it's a
Starting point is 00:03:40 it's a four taurus i mean and yeah it's, it's beat up a little bit, but who gives a fuck? She's looking for parking. It's good. She's woke. She's dope. She had a good time last night. What can you do? We're all just having fun.
Starting point is 00:03:51 But yeah, let's get this. Blue Lives Matter in Tampa, Florida. So they, you know, Black Lives Matter is everywhere, which of course we support. But Blue Lives Matter is, they're painting these now. So the trolling and the kind of all this uncertainty that's going on, this is just for the election. So a lot of people, Garrett and Epset, right now,
Starting point is 00:04:11 understand after November 3rd, there'll be no more. It's all baiting shit for the election. I'm sure that you got to understand that. It's not real. Yeah. I mean, and hey, look, a lot of people got a lot of time right now to go out there and finger paint on the streets all these derisive and and inflammatory slogans because nobody's got any work
Starting point is 00:04:31 so it's going to be a fun couple of months in america this is going to be looked back by historians and they're just instead of calling it the renaissance they're going to call it the key it's a cute cute cute time i know i mean this is going to be, it's, yeah, it's, it's going to be this. I think we're living through like wild, like a modern, like dark age right now that's going on, but you know what helps me? You know what helps me though? Besides work in the morning is a podcast. Being friendly with your present?
Starting point is 00:04:57 Being friendly with my present, but I've also been listening and I encourage you guys to do it. It's a podcast called the commissioner of comedy by our friend uh our friend james mattern um and i think it's really good so go check it out on itunes and and uh and youtube um so it's it's a good podcast but it's a great it's a great podcast if you if you want to know about the ins and outs of being a stand-up comedian which is a which is a hot job right now it's a fucking hot sizzling job you may want to get into right now so So if you want to know the ins and outs of it, go check that out. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:05:27 A hundred percent. Venetia, can we just see you in your car so that people believe us for a second? Or is that, are you not here for that? Just a second. Yeah. She's eating Yaya's cookies. She's eating Yaya's cookies because she needs some food because she's hungover. She drank at the salty dog.
Starting point is 00:05:42 And I think she slept at the studio after I left. And let's just be fucking honest because we just know how it rolls. She had some drinks and then she did some blow. And now she's eating Yaya's cookies and her penea,
Starting point is 00:05:56 her father's going to come in and take care of it all and she's about to get on her tilled because of her penea. Yes. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I mean, she's still up because she didn't go to sleep because she fucking blew some lines with Zach Isis. Where is Zach Isis? Has anyone followed him on Instagram? Did you see any posts of him in Bay Ridge last night? I don't know. Is he in a fucking rap battle or can they not do it because of COVID? I think he's fucking lying down
Starting point is 00:06:19 in the backseat of that stinky piece of shit car. It's what it is. Here we go. L.A. Mayoric garcetti announces he is authorizing the city this to the shitty to shut off water and power to any house or business that are hosting any parties or unauthorized large gatherings so yeah so you're gonna get your water shut off in los angeles now if you hold a party allegedly some nfl player who hasn't been named yet threw a party in, I guess, some YouTuber's house. Because you can only buy a house like that
Starting point is 00:06:50 if you have YouTube money. I mean, because have you, did you see Jake Paul's house when the FBI shut up? Oh, no, we're going to get to that. Oh, yeah, we're getting to that. I mean, dude, his house looks like Saddam Hussein's. Yeah, I mean, what do you think? You think that there's going to be riots if they shut the water off? I mean, these people, the LA already doesn't have any water.
Starting point is 00:07:05 So they're just going to shut off more of the water? Yeah, I mean, if you live in Los Angeles, and I'm talking to you people who moved from somewhere to making the LA business or Mexicans who do all the gardens out there, you guys are the two groups of people that make up Los Angeles, and you're going gonna get washed away in a second that is the most precarious place to live it's on a fault line they got no fucking water you can't live in a place that got no water you can't live in a place that got no water and
Starting point is 00:07:36 now to make it worse to shut the water off so los angeles eric garcetti i mean you're franks and beans what can you do um and yeah let's talk about yeah so Jake Paul Can you imagine if you were at a party And you were doing a lot of molly Because you know you're in LA And you're at a party and you're drinking Doing molly and then you get real thirsty And you go to the faucet to get some water
Starting point is 00:07:57 And there's no fucking water There's no water to come out I mean cuz yeah You would stand up and go hey hey, I need some fucking water. Where the fuck is the water? I would say, yeah, give me the water. And, yeah, cuz, yeah, I mean, I just don't want to. I am not looking forward to seeing Vinny Brandt tonight.
Starting point is 00:08:16 What can you do? I mean, it's brutal. But you're all sold out with Hyena fans. They're looking forward to seeing you. I'm looking forward to seeing you. But, I mean, just the thought of this guy, I mean, it's brutal. all sold out with hyena fans they're looking forward to seeing you but i mean just the thought of this guy i mean it's brutal but what can you do um chrissy you're not you're not gonna be doing pictures you're gonna be doing waves though right to people no yeah no pictures
Starting point is 00:08:35 yeah if you guys are coming to the show tonight thank you so much for your support and throughout the weekend if you're coming i mean i'm literally a first you know i'm gonna do the shows uh and but that's it like i'm gonna come in at the last minute do the show and leave so that's you know i'm gonna do the shows uh and but that's it like i'm gonna come in at the last minute do the show and leave so that's you know unfortunately no pictures nothing i can't do any of that so but i i promise you this and i promise you this hard because i know the fans have wanted it when the world does come back and we go on tour and do history hyena shows you will be able to take photos in chris's lap like santa it's what we're gonna do it's what we're gonna do we'll have a big chair and he'll
Starting point is 00:09:06 be sitting there and you'll come sit right on his fucking lap and I'll click. Yeah, it's just what it is too. And yeah, and Mike Suarez is supposed to be opening for me tonight, but he hasn't texted me. So I just don't know what to do. Is he back in New York? He's back in New York. So shout him out. I don't know what he's been up to,
Starting point is 00:09:21 but shout out Mike Suarez. Miss you, buddy. Yeah, we want to give a shout out mike suarez miss you buddy yeah we want to give a shout out to emoji face emoji face um who's always welcome on the show by the way if you're listening to this emoji face or friends always welcome back on the show whenever you'd like um so uh maddie ziegler whoever this is apologizes for past ignorant and racially insensitive videos so what happened well she was uh a little girl that was in the sea of videos i was about to say um yeah jeffrey epstein and his friends know who she is oh really oh she an epstein kid no but she was just young but she is now 17 and the mob came after her um so i just wanted
Starting point is 00:10:03 to say she's on notice because when she was nine years old okay she did some racially insensitive accents in a video so you maddie you little child who who has a brain that's developing you are guilty of white privilege and you are on fucking notice notice so we're putting Maddie Ziegler on notice. It's such bullshit. Oh, my fucking God. I mean, look at this. And now even Oprah right here.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Oprah says that she's a victim of white privilege. Oprah? Because if she's a victim of white privilege, I want to be a victim of white privilege, too. I mean, whatever she suffered from, give it to me. Because she's got $3 billion. $3 billion. Yeah. So Oprah's a victim of white privilege. That's in the news today. she's suffering from give it to me because she's got three billion dollars three billion dollars yes so oprah's a victim of white privilege that's in the news today maddie's ego and then here we
Starting point is 00:10:50 go this will really help you out y'all this is what your dad took and this is what you need right here lithium laced drinking water that's what they're saying it curbs suicide rates so we need to get you some late lithium laced drinking water how do we get that water to you i don't know but yeah i mean i can't get in la because there's no water but i need my water laced with lift i think that's what they call it in the article lift right yeah let's see water yeah it's lip yeah it's lifted here yeah it's it's laced with lift now you've been suggesting this for a long time to be pumped through the air vents here's for you yeah yeah um can they put testosterone and stuff because like maybe because they say like gay people right are exposed to low levels of testosterone in the womb i'm
Starting point is 00:11:32 gonna ask you you're a doctor how does it work what makes you what makes you a three dollar bill well i think what what makes it happen when you hand in a 20 and your and your drink only costs 50 cents but for some reason the change comes back three dollars yeah all it always i think it's because like we've been saying is you are most men are you know mostly testosterone maybe 90 testosterone 10 estrogen but you're 51 testosterone 49 estrogen and that it flips. Not only do you have that, it's not locked in, it flips. So there are many a days where you're 51% estrogen. So when that happens, it's just, everybody just sees woman and girl, and then you get back $3. So that's where I think it comes from
Starting point is 00:12:15 is you're right on the line with estrogen, uh, with estrogen and testosterone. But, you know, listen in today's world, I mean, cause if you want to work, you know listen in today's world i mean cuz if you want to work you know like that's what it is i mean you either go full maurice or you go home because nobody's giving us a show it's not going to happen yeah nobody's giving us a show is true now is that a fact is that science that we all have some estrogen and testosterone yeah and some of us have a little bit more because i certainly have a little bit and it could be i there's you know of course i guarantee you if you took a skin sample of of a part of my body and you know it would have a certain amount of testosterone and estrogen but if then if you took it off the anteater it's mostly estrogen that's you took it off yeah
Starting point is 00:12:59 because your anteater tit is just it's just it's just it's just like a antenna for estrogen yeah it just it sucks in estrogen and yeah it's just always's just it's just like a antenna for estrogen yeah it just it sucks in estrogen and yeah it's just always going to it's always pointing in the direction of the gay man so cuz if i wanted to really do a good live maurice's show so just suck on your tip for a couple minutes yeah suck on my tip for a couple minutes get the juice it's like is that like sucking on a helium balloon if you want your voice to change Yeah it's the same thing Speaking of sucking on tits and estrogen Do you want to work
Starting point is 00:13:29 I want to fucking work You better work Turn to the left Work it girl Turn to the right Do your thing On the runway Turn to the left
Starting point is 00:13:43 Work it girl Turn to the right Do your thing On the runway, come a girl. Turn to the left, work it girl. Turn to the right, do your thing. On the runway, come a girl. Work, you better work, girl. Yass. Wow, yass. Cuz, that was wild. Alyssa Milano, who's the boss, is coming back.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Everybody's doing reboots of old shows. And the truth of the situation is bubba's they don't work but alissa milano's are work it girl because work it girl uh alissa milano who's apparently the chairperson of the dnc i don't know how that happened she became everyone's political guru uh you know with her previous experience of being a child actress on Who's the Boss with Tony Danza. Well, guess what? Who's the Boss is back. Here's to another show that nobody asked for to come back.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I mean, what the fuck is Alyssa Milano going to do in the show? She's a grown woman now. Is she going to be Antifa? Yeah, she's just going to talk about some policies on the show, and she's going to talk about how Joe Rogan's podcast is three times as big as hers. Did you see that tweet when she said, Oh my God, Joe Rogan's. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:52 You can find it muffin shop. She said, we live in a world where Joe Rogan's podcast is three times as big as mine. And it was funny because everyone trolled her and said, bash it's much bigger than three times. It was so funny. Everyone was like, three times? Yeah, it's a lot. I don't even know Alyssa Milano has a podcast.
Starting point is 00:15:11 V, do you listen to Alyssa Milano's podcast? No, I don't. Did you find a parking spot yet? She did listen to Carly and Emma, and everyone's really upset that they broke up. Yeah. Well, what can you do? I mean, let's get them on the show. Let's get Carly and Emma on the show. That'd be great. Well, I'd love to get them both on the show at the same time.
Starting point is 00:15:27 So she said, we live in a world where Joe Rogan's podcast has tripled the listeners' mind. Dear God. Dear God. And what did she say? A football team has to fucking- Yeah. Yeah. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:15:38 A major sports team because their name is so horribly offensive. Yeah. Shut up. Yeah. Whenever I see her tweet, i just hear yas yas yas yas yas i know it's just one of those things does she have kids i wonder if she has kids i don't know i don't know do we know most most most of the women like they just don't because i just think when you become a mom you just like you want to make changes but you're just
Starting point is 00:16:01 fucking exhausted oh she has three kids okay i'll tell you what though when i was a kid watching the show i'm saying this from the perspective of being a kid at the time she was the number one piece in the country oh no she's a great actress who's the boss in her mood they're great i mean it's a great show very talented but yeah twitter is just like it's you know people are mentally insane on twitter yeah well i mean i disagree on the talent i mean you know i mean anyone could have fucking played tony danza's boss i mean i think they hired a bad actress on purpose because they wanted it to match tony danza yeah tony fucking dance because tony danza was at the was at the feast was at the san janeiro's feast serving fucking rice balls and that's a true story tony danza is the original squeak i mean is there a crazier fucking squeak to tony danza because he's a failed boxer he's a
Starting point is 00:16:54 squeak and he somehow became an actor i mean the kids want the kid has sticks though he's got a couple sticks from who's the boss no oh no i think he's got i think tony danza might have real fucking money hold on let me i think tony danza might have like real money let's look it up because i swear to you not he was working a stand at the san genero feast selling rice balls now that could just because italians can't stay away from fucking street fairs not a kid's worth 40 mil so i mean the kid's got sticks he's got sticks but that just lets you know a little bit about how much of a real italian he was i swear to god if you go to the san janeiro feast he's he's there every year i think he's got like a stand and i had his chicken
Starting point is 00:17:35 palm sandwich and i just got to be honest it was not that good i'm sorry tony danza it just what it wasn't good huh here we go wait i just got I just got a fucking other article here. It says, wait, hold on. Let me just look at this. Informant on NYPD payroll drove protesters to attack. So there's a rat in NYPD that's making protesters attack people. We're in a fucking wild world. Yeah. FBI affidavit in the case of Jeremy Trapp, who was arrested by the NYPD on July 17th after he allegedly attempted to cut the brake lines on an NYPD van parked in Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Trapp's arrest, they said, yeah, they arrested this kid. And then they found out that he's actually a rat, potentially being paid for, paid by de Blasio. So it's just- By de Blasio? That's what they're saying here. It's fucking corrupt. No, not by de Blasio. You just made that up.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I'm reading. I don't see that. That would be, I mean, that would be epic proportions. Well, let's start it here. Let's start the fucking rumors. Yeah, let's start the rumors. Remember, we are not a real news show. Speaking of that.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Well, look at this. In New Jersey, undercover cops dressed up as Hasidic Jews to observe a rally against racism and police brutality. That's hilarious. That is hilarious. It's like a Guy Ritchie movie. Yeah, you just dress up like a Hasidic Jew. Yeah, rally against racism and police brutality. That's hilarious. That is hilarious. It's like a Guy Ritchie movie. Yeah, you just dress up like a Hasidic Jew. Yeah, I mean, you could do a lot if you go undercover as a Hasidic Jew.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Yeah, but you could just be, yeah, it's fucking doesn't matter. You could, honestly. Is that going to be a problem, though? Like, can somebody, is it going to get to the point where, like, DEA agents and cops can't go undercover because it's fucking, they're racially profiling if they're white and they're acting Latino to get inside the drug cartel and they can't go undercover because it's fucking, they're racially profiling if they're white and they're acting Latino to get inside the drug cartel and they can't do it?
Starting point is 00:19:09 They can't. It won't be held admissible in court because of cultural appropriation. Wow, this fucking guy, Trapp, home in Brooklyn, the kid wanted to burn down the Verrazano Bridge. No fucking way! Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:27 That just... We just called two people on the case. That's the fucking Bay Ridge boys on the case. He said white supremacists couldn't get into Brooklyn. And then he said he was going to come to the protests at Bay Ridge, and they were not accomplishing anything because they weren't violent. So he decided to cut the brake lines
Starting point is 00:19:43 on police cars. Now, cuz, are you reading this from the ridgewood times or is this an actual verified actual thing this is a fucking actual thing they tried to cut the brakes in sunset park what can you do but de blasio did this he paid for this you heard it here first wow i mean for the first time in weapon in the morning history we have what we call breaking news this just hit the wire and was sent to us wow chrissy just broke the news what can you do informant on the nypd payroll that drove a protester to the attack and it was paid for by bill de blasio himself so wow no well you know i'm obviously kidding about the de blasio thing but it was fucking it's it's the first confirmed big one where you're like okay they're trying to do
Starting point is 00:20:31 this shit on purpose so i mean babas just get me out of here yeah i mean what a while if everything feels like a movie now and we were just saying it before it's crazy it's almost like a movie where it's like you got this maligned character that everyone hates who's running on this side, who's very divisive and tweets all this crazy shit. And, you know, people hate him and they got a lot of good reasons to. And then the other side, you got Joe Biden, who is hiding. I mean, he comes out like a mole every six months. Joe Biden, who is hiding, I mean, he comes out like a mole every six months.
Starting point is 00:21:10 And then when he does do an interview, it raises a lot of questions about the kid's competency. Yeah, it's not great. And yeah, he's, yeah, I mean, look, he looks like a fuck. He looks like he's on crank. I mean, the kid looks fucking crank the fuck out. Let's listen to him. I mean, he talks about cocaine. rank the fuck out let's listen to it a campaign topic and when asked in june if you've been tested um for cognitive decline you've responded that you're constantly tested in in effect because you're in situations like this on the campaign trail but please clarify specifically have you
Starting point is 00:21:39 taken a cognitive no i haven't taken a. Why the hell would I take a test? Come on, man. That's like saying you before you got in this program, you take a test where you're taking cocaine or not. What do you think? Are you a junkie? What do you say to President Trump who brags about his test and makes your mental state an issue for voters? Well, if he can't figure out the difference between an elephant and a lion, I don't know what the hell he's talking about. Did you watch that? Look, come on, man. I know you're trying to goad me, but I mean, I'm so forward looking to have an opportunity to sit with the president or stand with the president in debates. There are going to be plenty of time. And by the
Starting point is 00:22:25 way, as I joke with him, you know, I shouldn't say it. I'm going to say something I don't, I probably shouldn't say. Anyway, I am, I am very willing to let the American public judge my physical and mental, my physical as well as my mental fitness and uh to uh you know to make a judgment about who i am it's so bad it's like actually it's more painful to watch that than anything anything donald trump has ever said or did and i'm i know we joke around a lot on the podcast like you know obviously like even my crazy trump friends know that trump says crazy shit but it's like that is to me i'm witnessing a man who should be in an old age home try to run for president yeah what the fuck was that yeah it's really rough it's b is it bad
Starting point is 00:23:19 is it really bad watching that v um it's painful i wouldn't say that it's as bad as what trump has done but definitely very painful yes so but it's just one of those things where it's like what the hell i mean he can't debate donald trump it's not gonna work for some reason the simulator's got a really good sense of humor right now it's a dark dark sense of humor, but really good. They have us kind of living in between Sophie's choices. It's like you go outside, open the economy up, everyone gets the Rona and it spikes and the hospitals are overrun. You don't open up, you close it down,
Starting point is 00:23:57 the Rona numbers go down, but our economy crashes. You vote for Donald Trump, you got a fucking megalomaniac, absolute fucking narcissistic animal running the world. And if you vote for Donald Trump, you got a fucking megalomaniac, absolute fucking narcissistic animal running the world. And if you vote for Joe Biden, you got your grandpa who's clearly on the runway in a speed jet. Is it a speed jacket? I mean, he may in public fully in front of the nation yell a racial slur or yell something like that. He may do it because he's an old declining cognitive man
Starting point is 00:24:26 but here's the thing okay i genuinely believe now truly my heart of hearts believe at this point i'm not a conspiracy guy although check out conspiracy cuties patreon.com slash very rich boys um i genuinely think that now there is a global elitist thing that's going on where trump and biden and obama and everybody else have just been pawns and there's a thisist thing that's going on where Trump and Biden and Obama and everybody else have just been pawns. And there's this global thing that happens because if the Democrats truly wanted to win in a landslide and they truly want to change, obviously they would not pick Joe Biden. It's clear as day they would not pick Joe Biden, but they're staying by their choice to pick Joe Biden for a reason that's above our heads. I don't think they want Donald Trump to lose for some reason, and they make believe they do. Or the media controls a lot more than we think about, and they know the ratings will be closer because you really don't know who's going to win as if they just paraded out some hotshot Democratic candidate that would clearly crush Trump, nobody would watch the
Starting point is 00:25:25 debates, nobody would care. So I don't know what the reason is, but it's almost like I'm paying attention. And I'm just like, there's no reason that this man should be leading, should be the Democratic candidate. It's clearly obvious that he should not be the candidate but and it's not about his political views it's about he's cognitively can't do it so why are they doing it i don't understand is there a reason is there anything that you see yanni is there anything that you see that i'm missing like how do you see it i see something what i i see my best friend just put the Illuminati on notice. On notice. And that's a little segment called Chrissy Long Days. It's Chrissy Long Days. And I don't know what's going on, but I guarantee you that either the conspiracy cuties or Alex Jones will get to the bottom of it. I just don't
Starting point is 00:26:21 know what else to say. I mean, muffin chops. Do you have any idea why Joe Biden would be the candidate? Like, is there anything that you can think of as a smart man? As a smart man with a really large loaf. Yeah. I don't know. They're probably just going to elect him and then kill him. Okay. So that's it.
Starting point is 00:26:44 So maybe it's the point is we're going to put Joe Biden in as the ultimate puppet and then get him out eventually. But he actually may not beat Donald Trump. So I don't get it. You can have your political opinion to say, I didn't like John McCain. I didn't like Bush. I didn't like Clinton.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I didn't like Obama. Okay, but they're all competent politicians. This man is, he's incompetent. He's talking about cocaine. He said cocaine. You can't say cocaine. Don't mention cocaine. Come on, man. I mean, you're asking me really, brother. I look forward to debates with you and foreign chick. And then you say, come on, man. Like how many times are you going to say, come on, man? You think that's getting you the black vote?
Starting point is 00:27:28 What are you talking about? No, the guy's going, come on, brother. What are you doing? It's obvious you're fucking, you're insane. He's obviously has, it's obvious cognitive decline. It's really Sophie's choice, babe. I mean, it's a real fun when the simulators are going like this right now. Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. I mean, it's a real fun one. The simulators are going like this right now.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. I mean, look, we have very, very smart members of our Patreon, you know, they're so funny. Because of how funny they are, I know how smart they must be. And I'm really asking, like, can you write on the community board, why is Joe Biden the Democratic nominee?
Starting point is 00:28:03 Just tell me something I don't know. I don't know why he isn't even on there. I don't get it. He said, tell him something he doesn't know. So that means answer that specific question. Do not get into any physical therapy stuff because the kid knows all those fucking answers already. Yeah, don't fuck it.
Starting point is 00:28:21 And also stop messaging me for physical therapy advice, you fucks. I'm not giving it to you. Yeah. By the way, I just want to give a quick shout out. Today's Kevin Barnett's birthday. The late, great Kevin Barnett. Go look up his comedy, Good Friend of Ours. Died suddenly a couple years ago in Mexico.
Starting point is 00:28:38 And just shout out Kevin Barnett. His birthday popped up here on my Facebook, and we just miss you. Kevin Barnett, great great comic yeah uh rest in peace kevin barnett rest in peace david kimmel who died almost a year yesterday yes yes also my old manager yeah yeah old man yeah and i just told my new manager he's not getting any more of my live date money so it's what it is i said you know what whatever deal you got with christy welcome to my deal as well. It's what it is. What can you do? I got to be honest.
Starting point is 00:29:06 It feels nice not giving up 10% of these dates. Because, I mean, I sold them out. We sold them out because of the podcast and the agent got the deal. So you give them 10, I understand. You give the government their 40%. And then that's about it, Bubba. Because, you know, if I got to deal
Starting point is 00:29:21 with fucking Vinnie Brand doing 55 minutes in an outdoor show with you know with people from new jersey i'd like to keep the highest percentage of money possible because make no mistake it's really tough to get through because i just want to get there i mean bubba's here's the thing also like comedy i think i wanted to change like as a headliner i don't want to have to do an hour just let me do 20 minutes half an hour have a good time it doesn't matter time is irrelevant i don't want to fucking have to stay up there for an hour in the blazing heat to have come on just i'm not we got to change stand-up it's like enough with the long content yeah yeah i mean it's what it is because one of your ancestors was jewish and
Starting point is 00:30:01 it's what you don't like the heat it makes you feel a little svelte yeah makes you a little svelte and then August 6 1945 um a day that I wish was my birthday uh the United States becomes the I'm just kidding yeah yeah but the U.S. the I was the U.S. becomes the first and only nation to use atomic weaponry during wartime when it drops an a-bomb on the Japanese city of Hiroshima 80,000 people are killed as a direct result of the blast and 35 000 are injured and 60 000 would be dead by the end of the year from the effects of the fallout and that's horrible and obviously you know don't want to see that but what if you want to know but if you want to know what chrissy really feels about that go to
Starting point is 00:30:40 one of our classic episodes which is quoted as one one of the matriarchy's faves it's called pearl harbor is wild yeah i just um but you know obviously uh it's horrible history and i'm happy that we are getting closer now and things are good and you know marsha planned but yeah but yeah in 1945 when times were a little different i mean you know you know it's uh you know pearl harbor you didn't know what they did they know what they did you didn't have to do what you did you didn't have to just don't have to do that and we didn't have to do what we did we didn't have to do what we did uh you know but but you did punch for you did punch us first so it's you did punch us people forget punch us we got punched no we got punched and i think honestly you punched us in 1941
Starting point is 00:31:27 to not really get hit back till 1945 it's like you know we really really really gave you a lot of fucking chances and you kept going into china you kept not backing down you kept hanging on this pride and imperialism and expansionism. So then what fucking has to happen is eventually gets to a point where I say, you know what? You know what? Give me the bag of popcorn. Put it in the microwave. Wei Zhongzhen.
Starting point is 00:32:00 We all knew it was coming because that was- I say, guess what? I want to watch a movie. Yeah. And I need some popcorn. That's Whip in the Morning. Enjoy. Chrissy, tonight's your first night of shows?
Starting point is 00:32:16 Tonight's my first night of shows. Stress Factory. Sold out. If you want to... August 29th, I'll be in Oceanport, New Jersey at Monmouth Racetrack if you want to see me in Jersey but yeah sold out tonight and if you want to come see me come an hour into the show so because
Starting point is 00:32:30 the owner does an hour and you know but Sergio Chacon Blizzy Sergio Chacon will be on too so that'll be great that's always great Sergio's the best have fun we'll see you tomorrow for the end of the week enjoy Chrissy tonight yeah Enjoy Christy tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Webber. Webber in the morning.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Webber in the morning. Webber in the morning. Webber. Rate, review us, subscribe, turn on your notifications, get jiggy with it. And go to patreon.com slash Bayridgeboys where things get really wild.

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