Hits 21 - 2008 (6): X Factor Finalists, Beyoncé, Take That, Leona Lewis

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

Hello again, everyone, and welcome back to Hits 21, the show that's taking a look back at every UK #1 hit single of the 21st century - from January 2000, right through to the present day. Twitter: @Hits21UK Email: [e-mail] Vault: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5O5MHJUIQIUuf0Jv0Peb3C?si=e4057fb450f648b0 Piehole: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FmWkwasjtq5UkjKqZLcl4

Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hits21 where me, Rob, me, Andy and me, Lizzy all look back at every single UK number one of the 21st century, from January 2000 right through to the present day. If you want to get in touch with us you can find us over on Twitter, we are at Hits21UK, that is at Hits21UK and you can email us too, just send it on over to Hits21Podcast at gmail.com and I would advise you to keep an eye out on the Twitter feed and also in our next episode for a bit of an update about the future of our show. Thank you so much for joining us again, we are currently looking back at the year 2008 and this week we'll be covering the period between November the 2nd and the 20th of December in 2008 we are at the episode just before Christmas.

Last week the poll winner, The Promise, goes aloud so they go out with a win. Yes, love our listeners, thank you. Yeah. Alright, it is time to press on with this week's episode and as always it is time for some news headlines from around the time the songs we're covering in this episode were at number one in the UK. In America, Barack Obama is elected as the 44th President of the United States. After winning 53% of the vote against Republican candidate John McCain, Obama became the first African-American president in US history and the first president not to be born on the US mainland.

The 2008 election also saw the highest number of votes ever cast in US election history with over 130 million counted. In Formula One, Lewis Hamilton becomes the youngest ever world champion at just 23 years of age. In the process, Hamilton also became the first British champion since Damon Hill in 1996. Meanwhile, Woolworths announces that all 807 of its UK stores will close by January 2009, putting nearly 30,000 people out of work. And also in America, OJ Simpson begins a nine-year jail sentence for committing an armed robbery in 2007. A group of men led by Simpson broke into a Las Vegas hotel and stole sports memorabilia at gunpoint. Simpson was initially sentenced to 33 years but had his

term reduced in 2017 when he was given an early release. The films to hit the top of the UK box office during this period were as follows. Quantum of Solace for 4 weeks, Four Christmases for 1 week, Madagascar Escape to Africa for 1 week, The Day the Earth Stood Still for 1 week, Twilight for 1 week, before Yes Man closes out 2008 with two weeks at the top, taking us in to 2009. As Rob mentioned Barack Obama became US President but more importantly Joe Swash wins the 8th series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, Yes He Can. Only joking obviously. Cyclist Chris Hoy is also named as the BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

Tom Chambers wins the sixth series of Strictly Come Dancing after John Sargent had controversially pulled out of the series earlier on. And Alexandra Burke wins the fifth series of The X Factor. And several high-profile American celebrities are robbed by The Bling Ring, who were unidentified at the time. Among the celebrities stolen from were Paris Hilton, who had millions of dollars worth of cash and jewelry taken from her property. Several of The Bling Ring's members were sentenced to several years in jail before their story was adapted into a film directed by Sofia Coppola. Andy, how are the UK album charts looking?

Yeah, we're seeing out the year because there is a long stayer which takes us right through Christmas into January but before we get there we have a few others to talk about. First it's Fun House by Pink which goes to number one for one week and went four times platinum. That's followed by Girls Aloud. We may have had their last number one but they're not quite done at the top of the charts. Girls Aloud with Out of Control are number one for one week and that went double platinum. Funnily enough, because it's Girls Aloud there, they are toppled by an album called The Promise. Not by them, by Ildivo. Isn't that weird? Yeah, Ildivo, who you may remember, the popera stars that they were, they went to number

one for one week and went platinum with The Promise, not by Girls Aloud. Then it's the return to the top of an old album from last year, It's Spirits by Leo and the Lewis. A full year after release, returning to number one, it went 10 times platinum last year. We might find out why that happened later on. Then it is The Killers with their third album, Day and Age at number one. That's the album that spawned Human. And that went four times platinum. Before we see out the year with a five week run at the top

for The Circus by Take That, which went seven times platinum and saw us through to January 2009. So yes, Take That closed out the year, another big one for them. We may get to talk about some of these artists later, not Ildivo, sorry. Lizzie, how are things in the States? I have a US Christmas number one to mention this week. Oh. Would you like to find out what it is? Yes please. If you've got to say no it's Beyonce with single ladies put a ring on it. Ah wow. Quite surprisingly didn't turn it into like a Christmassy version you could so easily

make it like put a jingle on it or something like that put five gold rings on it yes there we go that's better over in the US the song was released simultaneously with if i were a boy in order to promote her third studio album i am dot dot dot sasha fierce if i were a boy peaked at number three in the US but single ladies climbed to number one after several weeks on the chart becoming heraked at number 3 in the US, but Single Ladies climbed to number 1 after several weeks on the chart, becoming her fifth solo number 1 in the US. It spent four non-consecutive weeks at number 1 and was eventually certified 9x platinum. Back here in the UK, it got to number 7 in January of 2009. So that's it for singles this year. What about albums? Well, first

up this week we have Black Ice by ACDC. Two weeks, also got to number one in the UK. Then we have Twilight, the original motion picture soundtrack. One week, ineligible for the main UK albums chart. I didn't check how it did from the soundtrack chart I'm assuming it got to number one Next up we have fearless by Taylor Swift 11 non consecutive weeks and was the US Christmas number one album of 2008 Wow, and it got to number five in the UK. I wonder what happened to her. Yeah, we'll never hear about her Yeah, you don't hear much about these days. She just vanished off the radar.

Anyway, I am dot dot dot Sasha Fierce by Beyonce. One week got to number two in the UK. Then we have 808s and Heartbreak by Kanye West. One week got to number 11 in the UK. And finally we have Circus by Britney Spears. One week got to number 4 in the UK, held off the top spot by The Circus by Take That. I remember that, yeah. Well thank you both very much. That Twilight soundtrack is great, by the way.

He got super massive black hole, decode, leave out all the rest. Those Twilight soundtracks were good. The Twilight movies were good as well, I feel like this is my only chance to state my claim there. The first and fourth Twilight movies are fantastic, the second and third are okay and the last one is garbage. They had like St Vincent on them, they had Tom York doing stuff on them, they had Benjamin Gibbard, like Death Cat for Cutie, Likey Lee, OK Gober on there and Grizzly Bear, you know, editors, Alexandra Displat, you know, all sorts of great names on there but thank you both very much for those reports. And we are gonna now look at the first of four songs that we are gonna be covering on the podcast this week as we take you up to Christmas.

And the first of those is this. There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are. There's an answer if you reach into your soul and the sorrow that you know will melt away. And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fist out And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong Okay, this is Hero by the X Factor Finalists 2008. Released as a standalone single, Hero is the first and only single to be released by the X Factor Finalists 2008 in the UK. It's also their first and last number one. The single is a cover of the song originally recorded by Mariah Carey, which reached number

seven in 1993. Hero went straight in at number 1 as a brand new entry, knocking Girls Aloud off the top of the charts. It stayed at number 1 for... THREE WEEKS! In its first week atop the charts, it sold 312,000 copies, beating competition from Another Way to Die by Jack White and Alicia Keys, which climbed to number 10, probably the worst Bond theme of all time. In week 2, it sold 190,000 copies, beating competition from If I Were a Boy by Beyonce, which got to number 2, Womanizer by Britney Spears, which got to number 2, Womaniser by Britney Spears which got to number 4, Forgive Me by

Leona Lewis which got to number 5, and The Boy Does Nothing by Alicia Dixon which climbed to number 8. And in week 3 it sold 101,000 copies, beating competition from Live Your Life by T.I. and Rihanna which climbed to number 2, and Human by The Killers, which got to number 4. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Hero dropped 1 place to number 2. By the time it was done on the charts, it had been inside the top 100 for 13 weeks. The song is currently officially certified 2 times platinum, so double platinum in the UK as of 2024.

Lizzy, how are we feeling? Spoiler alert, I don't have much about the songs this week. I think it's a pretty wretched week for singles. And this is no exception. This is one of the worst I think we've ever covered. Not for any particular reason. I don't think it's like if I were a punk not for any particular reason. I don't think it's like if I were a punk rocker by Sandy Tom where there is a specific kind of like how did these decisions come together like this in this

particular order to to create this outcome. I think this is just a case of a formula that has been worn too thin, performers who don't have the weight to carry it off, and a message that while good intentioned, ultimately becomes worse the more you think about it. I think this formula, this kind of production of the X Factor, where it's all like you get the slow piano start and you get the whoosh of the drum and then it builds and builds and you get the big key change towards the end and the choir come in. There's another song like this later on and I'm fucking sick of it. I think it's shit. I don't know why people thought up with this at the time and

I'm very glad this sort of thing died out eventually. It took longer than it should have done and frankly we have to endure this sort of thing much, much more than we should ever have had to. But yeah, I think it's miserable. I don't know what people see in this. I think the performers are all, they're mostly kind of anonymous. The one that stands out is Diana Vickers who sings like she has a mouthful of cauliflower. I know she's not in music anymore. I'm very happy for her that she's got a career in comedy because it stopped her fucking singing. I can't believe we gave her another number one after this. I can't believe she lasted as long as she did on the X Factor. Like,

horrible, nasally. Jesus Christ. And yeah, like I say, this is for charity. This song originally by Mariah Carey was never about heroes or returning from the war or anything like that. It was, I want to say it was for a film with dustin hoffman which is a largely forgotten comedy drama thing um so yeah nothing nothing to do with the army but you know simon cowell the way he is he doesn't actually like music so he's decided to attribute it to that because it fits his weird narrative of what music should be and who it should cater for. There's a big problem with calling returning soldiers heroes though. I tried to put this into my own words but nothing came better than what Kara Hoffman wrote for Salon a couple

of years ago. So I'll just directly quote this now. What's so bad about being called a hero? It sounds like praise, but it can be dangerously dismissive. The problem is that a hero refers to a character, a protagonist, something in fiction, not to a person, and using this word can hurt the very people it's meant to lord. While meant to create a sense of honour, it can also buy silence, prevent discourse, and benefit those in power more than those navigating the new terrain of home after combat. If you are a hero, part of your character is stoic sacrifice or silence. This makes it difficult for others to see you as flawed, human, vulnerable

or exploited. And it makes it even more difficult for you to reach out when you need help. Andy, what do you think? Yeah, that is pretty definitive. I'm not sure I should follow that yet. I mean, I think the whole military side of more difficult for you to reach out when you need help. Andy, what do you think? Yeah, that is pretty definitive. I'm not sure I'd follow that yet. I mean, I think the whole military side of this is something that I've grappled with a little bit because I'm just trying to think of it in the context of the time. I do think it's distasteful and I am uncomfortable with the idea of glorifying supporting our military and supporting the... I'm not, you know,

nothing against the idea of supporting the military obviously because they are brave for what they're doing but the fact is at this time, you know, we were in multiple dubiously necessary, dubiously legal conflicts in which death and injury were very serious possibilities and also at this time there was a major financial crash happening, which meant that many of the people signing up to the army were simply doing it as a route out of unemployment and a roof over their heads and a career to have.

It's manipulative and went to a dark place. And I think we largely treated the military in conflict on the template of how we were in World War II, which was a very different situation. And I find it very distasteful the way that it was glorified so much at this time to be joining the army. Again nothing against the army and I'm not saying that any you know critique should be held at the soldiers themselves I just think the military industrial complex was not something that should have been glorified at this time. Having said that I don't think that the X Factor or Simon Cowell were particularly

putting their neck on the line by doing something like this. They weren't setting that trend really, this was just kind of, this was the mood anyway to be honest and I think it wouldn't have made any great waves at the time to be putting out a single with that kind of message because it was the peak of like Help for Heroes and Support Our Boys and all that kind of stuff and Simon Cowell knows when it went to jump onto a trend at this time and that's all he's doing so I don't think you can particularly lay that at this song's door. I think I'm right in thinking though that pretty much all the time that they do charity singles over the next few years they're always for

Help for Heroes and there are other causes out there you don't need to do this for help for heroes every time and this one I don't like this song I don't like this cover of this song but the one that I really didn't like was when they did heroes not hero they did heroes by David Bowie. I can't believe they did that. Yeah I really really hated that cover not just because they merged the song and turned it into this kind of military march when that's not what it was at all. It was about... it was more about peace than it was about war, really. But more so just because it did seem like they were banging this drum a little bit too hard now and it kind of seemed like the X Factor was trying to make itself the standard bearer for supporting our troops. But I don't really want to hold that to this song because I don't think we're quite there yet.

The things I don't like about this song the most is just the actual musical aspects of it. That production is horrible. Yes it is. It's so loud, I had to turn it down. Why is everything so loud in 2008? And I think I kind of lent into that at the time. I used to have my headphones extremely loud all the time and now I listen to these songs back from this ear and I'm like, oof, oof, just gonna turn that down a bit. I think that it really, it very rarely works when you have like ten different singers on a song because they just don't gel together. There are a few charity songs, a few novelty songs that sort of

get away with it but this one doesn't at all because I think the X Factor by its nature it's sort of a little bit of a variety show. There's different types of voices, there's different types of acts. You get that really really loud one on the bridge that I think is Rachel Hilton on the bridge really loud that I don't know but then you get Diana Vickers who's like you know got the vocal strength of an amoeba basically with who sort of Diana Vickers is just an experiment in the idea of what if the other 25 letters of the alphabet were all just extensions of the letter R. Where... I'm not gonna like bully Diana Vikas but I have nothing nice to say about that voice

so if I've got nothing nice to say I'm not gonna say anything else at all. But she was unintentionally funny on this song because it's so hot place. You've got these huge sweeping strings, the big X factor production and then, and a hair loose in here. Oh, awful. Yeah, and I just think it's so cheesy, so over the top.

And it comes back to that pet peeve of mine that I talked about back when we did, what charity song would it have been when we did another charity song and I was moaning about how they're dreary and boring and we accept that as a given of the charity song genre when they could be bangers and we could make more money for the charities if they were really good songs like we accept them as throw away buy it for one week kind of crap and why? You know if we're supposed to be raising money for charity why not make it the next umbrella and you know have it have like 12 weeks at number one and make an absolute killing on the charts? I just I just think we treat charity singles in a quite patronising way sort of unquestioned in

terms of quality, which means they can get away with being very very poor quality. If this wasn't a charity single it wouldn't have gone anywhere near number one even though it's X Factor because it's shockingly bad, really really bad. I don't think it's the very worst thing we've ever covered but it's definitely one of the schlockiest things we've ever covered and I'm never gonna listen to this again ever I promise you that's all I have to say I've said that about three times this week and then I've gone back in just like oh maybe just one more just to see

if I can have another note and sometimes when I listen back to episodes and you know we reach a song that I don't like, I realise that my voice has a tendency to raise slightly. I was listening and very acutely aware of this during our coverage of Sex on Fire and during our coverage of Kid Rock and a couple of other things. So I'm going to keep my I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed voice on this time because I think this is absolutely revolting like genuinely sick to the pit of my stomach kind of stuff probably the ugliest thing we've ever covered on the podcast really like truly heinous like not just because this is your typical X Factor fare where it is somehow like I can't

believe I'm saying this Westlife light as though Westlife weren't a light version of themselves anyway not only is this the same old uninspiring arrangement that you always get from Simon Cowell at this point, the same old emotions which are only upfront and entirely on the surface, no drama or tension or worry. Everything you need to feel, you feel within the first five seconds and you feel nothing else for the rest of the song. No actual feeling actually, just an illusion of a feeling that is handily reinforced not by the vocal performances or the reinterpretation of the song but by the X Factor media campaign and the various singers clutching their chests in the music video. It's not really crafting its

own emotions, it's just relying on people's previous associations with the Mariah Carey original and the X Factor series so far. I think this is minimal effort, I think it is disgracefully cynical. There's maybe two or three good singers here and it's really obvious when they come in because Owen Quigg, Diana Vickers, all of them lot, basically anyone who's not Alexandra Burke or that Austin, is it Draged? Yes. Yeah, Guy.

They all sound so, so average here apart from those two. Yeah. Diana Vikas really stands out because, oh, I'm so sorry, she can't sing. She cannot sing. And then they give the very last line to bloody Diane and Owen again to force this romance, non-romance soap opera storyline, which Owen has later revealed that they were forced to maintain despite them not really wanting to. They revealed that like, they were told to play it up and none of it was real.

Well at the time it came across as completely one-sided on just Owen's part and The fact that it was there neither of them were into it I feel more sorry for Owen now to be honest because he was made to look the fool in that situation really oh That's awful, and this is the bit where my voice would normally go into quite high registers and high decibel levels but I'm going to make a conscious effort to keep the levels low. Because all of what I've just said is without getting into this being a vomit-inducing piece of military propaganda. Raising money for help for heroes is completely fine. It is even admirable. Whether you agree with the war effort, so to speak, or not, which I don't, this country is still full of people who sacrificed their safety and happiness for a greater cause.

They lost a limb, they might have lost their minds, they might have lost their homes. I might personally think that that specific, you know, the greater cause isn't worth it, but there are a thousand and one reasons why someone might join the army and I'm not here to judge people who do. And once they're done, and once they're done with their service, they become members of society who need support. And I'm not judging the artists either, because a lot of them are very young people just trying to make a better life for themselves and get famous. I'm here to judge the machine that they join. And that goes for the soldiers and the singers, actually, to be honest. And this... This music video is full of funerals.

Families torn to shreds, children without fathers, mothers without sons, parents burying their children. And yet the message of the song, the music combined with the visuals and the entire package, is that you too could be a hero. You can join the cause too. Rip your family apart because the Prime Minister needs you to be cannon fodder in a desert 3000 miles away, a hero lies in you. To me the very principle and the idea of charity is flawed at best, but in an ideal world it should mean that so much money gets raised by a large community that we find a solution to whatever problem we're raising money for. But this song is raising money for a cause while endeavouring to perpetuate it. It wants to make more soldiers, more heroes. It defeats its purpose by default.

But then you couldn't cover War Pigs or Fortunate Son or What's Going On or Zombie or Billy Don't Be a Hero or, because it's nearly Christmas stop the cavalry like actually now I you know now I sort of think about it Ryan Tedder and Simon Cowell are pretty pally at this time Ryan could have contributed come home which is a song from One Republic's first album his and Sarah Borealis' version is a genuinely you it fits the X Factor bill of needing a slow ballad that rises slowly over the course of, you know, four minutes or so. It would give, you know, and it still is explicitly about, you know, it is about war. The song is written from the perspective of a wife waiting for her husband to come home from the war. But no, they have to go for what I

actually think. I think the way that this is all reframed, I think that this is a pro-war song. This is a pro-war effort song. This idea, a hero lies in you. They show all this death and misery and they package it in such a way that it seems somehow appealing and I find that so grotesque. I think this contributes four minutes which are among the grimest we have ever covered on the podcast. This season of The X Factor completely turned me off it, to be honest, and it makes me long for Sandy Tom. I am done oh I don't think anything could make me long for Sandy Tom to be honest I mean maybe if I was in the 70s having a great time surrounded by pop culture figures

of the era I might think Sandy Tom would like this that's the only time I would be in for Sandy Tom yeah so we will move on from Hero and we will move on to the second song this week which is this. I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls I kick it with who I've wanted And I never get confronted for it Cause they stick up for me If I were a boy I think I could understand How better man I listen to her Okay, this is If I Were a Boy by Beyonce. Released as the lead single from her third studio album titled I Am...Sasha Fierce. If I Were a Boy is Beyonce's 13th single overall to be released in the UK and her fourth to reach number one, and it's not the last time that we'll be coming to Mrs. Knowles Carter on this podcast.

If I Were a Boy first entered the UK chart at number two, reaching number 1 during its third week on the chart, knocking the X Factor finalist 2008 off top spot. It stayed at number 1 for one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 48,000 copies, in a week where there were no new entries or new climbers into the top 10. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, if I were a boy dropped 1 place to number 2. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 104, 36 weeks. The song is currently officially certified 2x platinum, so double platinum in the UK as of 2024. Andy, how are we feeling on Beyoncé?

Yeah, I like this. It's definitely a low bar this week, but this is undoubtedly my favourite one of this week. I'm not sure that's too much of a big swing to say that. Yeah, I do like this. I, with Beyoncé, I particularly talking about the Sasha Fierce era, but in general, to be honest, I am far more in tune with her more vulnerable, more emotionally honest material than I am with her, you know, fierce Queen B bad bitch kind of stuff. And Sasha Fierce is a really interesting album for that because the parts of the album where she is being dot dot dot Sasha Fierce, like I do like those songs, but I prefer the ones where she's not being dot dot dot Sasha Fierce. Like I do like those songs but I prefer the ones where she's not being dot dot dot Sasha Fierce. And this comes from that first half of the album which is much more emotionally raw and I really like that stuff from Beyonce. I think that's probably the reason why I think Lemonade is by far her best album. I think it's better than Renaissance or Calvacarta, which seems to be a slight minority opinion these days, but what the hell. Yeah, I really like it

when she drops the diva stuff, to be honest, and gets into more vulnerable material, because I just think it's more interesting. And it also is able to showcase her as a fantastic singer of ballads as well, where as time time goes on she more and more moves away from ballads and does big stompers and there is nothing wrong with that she's very good at that too she's a very talented artist but I really like to hear big truthful ballads from Beyonce comparing it to well the whole week this week is full of ballads and particularly the one that we're going to cover at the end of the show I think you can can compare negatively, because Beyoncé has a hell of a voice. She is able to channel so much emotion into that voice and I think one of the reasons why this is the best song

of the week is that it's kind of the only song of the week that's sort of about something, of substance, and the production has calmed down to allow the singer some time to breathe and put some character into the song. I really appreciate how it's not fiery, oh, boys are rubbish and oh, they're just such idiots and oh, you know, I like how it's quite sort of sorrowful about her and expresses sadness and regret at the differences between men and women and how men don't appreciate the needs of women and don't

appreciate the microaggressions that are enacted towards women all the time. I like that it's taken that kind of sorrowful, sad about the world kind of view because I think that's something that's more relatable than, ah, tear it all down, smash the system, you know. And I just think it's a nice, fresh take for Beyonce. Not like the most original thing in the world. I don't think this is anything spectacular or anything like that. It's just a nice song with a nice subject that I can really get into because boys are rubbish, we can be awful. She's quite right about that.

And it's just a nice track. And it's a great one to sing along to in the car, like badly, you know, there's no way I can hit those notes, but it is a great one to sing along to in the car, like badly, you know, there's no way I can hit those notes, but it is a great one to sing along to in the car. So yeah, this is fine, it's best of the week, but it is a low bar, and I've not got that much else to say about it, to be honest, it's just, it's good, yeah. Yeah, I've always been more on the fence with this one. I think it is a decent execution of an honest and, you know, frustrated ballad. You know, the arrangement is kind of necessarily sparse to show Beyoncé off. It's not entirely, you know, linear, like, you know, throughwritten,

but I think its progressions are carefully managed to give a sense of constantly building momentum, but without descending into, like, full-on melodrama. You know, I believe Beyoncé's position in this story, that she is angrily telling off an unfaithful partner and going through all the things you think when you're in the pit of a breakup and you find out that you've been cheated on. Knowing that the person who's betrayed you doesn't represent their entire sex or gender but like this isn't a song delivered from a rational place. So who cares? She's lashing out a bit, quietly. She's kind of doing the,

like I was kind of laughing about before, I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. It's that moment where like, when someone speaks quietly and you know that they're so angry, then just like, cause they're being cool and calm and collected and villainous about it.

And I think she sells that really effectively. The problem with it though, for me, I've never been fully taken in with it because I find it a bit... I don't know if smug is the right word but I can never really look past the fact that it's all kind of... it's written with the gift of hindsight because if Beyonce had always been a boy in the context of this song then she would have been socialized to not realize all of the things that she mentions in the song, like she says if I were a boy I'd do all these things differently, but would you? Because you would only know how to do those things differently because you have been socialized as a woman. I think it's

just a little unadventurous with how it explores that subject matter in the end works on a base level definitely But for me, it doesn't really work any further or deeper down than that Because you know like what I said last week where it feels like pop is moving in a direction Where the thing being declared? At the top needs to be right up front and also like that's enough at the top needs to be right up front and also like that's enough you don't have any revelations further down the line you know there's no need for subtext or doubt or complexity or there's no narrative to this you know it's just here is the topic at hand here's how the singer feels about it

bish bash bosh number one hit not to like rewrite the song but I kind of wish it went in a different direction in the second half, like instead of saying, but you're just a boy, you don't understand. I kind of wish it would wind up in a more kind of even handed and uncertain place. Like it feels like we start and end in identical spots. That's not like a major, major nitpick, it's just one of the reasons why I just won't be vaulting this, but it's nowhere near the pie hole either.

I also sort of have a little issue with the composition. I think it's a little staid. Like I understand it's a vehicle for Beyonce and it definitely works because she sounds like fantastic here. I feel like, you know, the times that we've covered Beyonce from Crazy in Love to Deja Vu to this it feels like as vocally she has improved every single time and I think that I Am Sasha Fierce is maybe not her most consistent album in terms of material but is

definitely when she comes into her own as a singer because you have Halo which is a great single I really like Halo, Sweet Dreams another good single, Single Ladies that's a great little trio of singles there but I just don't get as much as I want from repeated listens on If I Were a Boy. Lots of pretty and decorative and textural decisions are made in the instrumental but there's just not much that diverts my attention on repeat listens. I feel like it's always beyond saying the driving seat here. That's never a bad thing though. But I'm just kind of on the fence,

kind of leaning towards liking it, but just sort of on the, you know, a bit on the fence. But Lizzie, Lizzie, how about you? This is, as you say, I think the best of a not great bunch this week. To echo the positives, yeah, Beyonce's vocal, like going back to that previous song, you could put all of those singers together and they would still be like leagues behind what Beyonce is here.

And yeah, I agree with you, Rob, that she has improved vocally on every subsequent release. It's not often you get that. Sometimes like singers just kind of settle into a groove and they stay there for the rest of their careers and that's fine. But it's better to be able to excel yourself like this and to prove to yourself that you can be better than you already are. So yeah, props to her for that. But I do agree that the composition is a little bit simple. Maybe that's the point is that it allows Beyonce's vocal to shine, but I do kind of wish there was

more here. I mean, at least it's not slow like everything else this week week but still like I need a bit more and also I think other than I agree with what you say Rob about how it's kind of a bit too broad in terms of gender dynamics and it's very much a hindsight kind of thing I just find the imagery of the lyrics to be not particularly like imaginative or vivid the way I would really want them to be. I know that perhaps the whole point is to be direct and it's like if you you know if you could say something to this one person what would you say but as a song it's like you know I'd roll out of bed throw on what I wanted I'd drink beer with the guys and drink and chase off the girls and like these are not

particularly vivid images you compare that to something like maybe this is unfair but like and if one day I should become a singer with a Spanish bum who sings for women of great virtue I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from a coffee bar when what you don't know doesn't hurt you that is fiery imaginative lyrics that this just doesn't really match up to i was really hoping with this that there would be a kind of breakthrough moment where it would click for me and maybe i'd get the message at the end and it'd be like a sort of oh shit moment but the ending is like you're just, you don't understand, so why are we here then? Like, it's not really telling you anything you don't already know, it's a bit preaching to the

converted. So yeah, very good Beyonce performance, but as a song I find it a bit lacking. Mm-hmm. I do agree with you both about how it's sort of self-defeating in terms of an argument and it doesn't really go anywhere. But what I will say is that I do think that's deliberate. I do think that's the point of what she's trying to say. Whether or not it's an interesting point, that's fair enough. But I do think that's very much what she's trying to get at

that this is the way of the world. Like, you're not going to understand because you're a boy, so you've lived your whole life, it's not particularly your fault, it's like, all boys are like this, you're not going to understand, and so that's just it, it's just rubbish. I do think that's the point, to be honest. I agree that it's maybe not the most interesting point, but I don't think that's like, not reaching towards a bigger argument I think that is just the argument of the song is that it's shit that's the way the world is that boys just don't understand this yeah it's not the most

interesting but it's also kind of reductive I think it's like you're not that way because you're a boy you're that way because you've been socialized a certain way and been brought up to believe certain things and treat women a certain way. I think it might click more if it got to more specific micro kind of things. It's like these are things you actually might not understand as a boy, you know. I think that if it got a little bit more specific with it and called things out in a bit more of a way that we hadn't heard before, then I agree

with that, that that would make it come to life a bit more. But I do think that is the point of what she's trying to get at, of that, yeah, there is no resolution to what I'm feeling, it's just a horrible feeling and I think that's okay. Yeah. I would also add to that credit to Beyonce because she does eventually do that, not in a specific song but things like Lemonade where she's very honest about her relationship with Jay-Z and the fact that he was unfaithful to... I mean that's just a fantastic album. Yeah of course. It's such a shame we don't get any number ones from that album. I know. It's amazing. Yeah and I do think, there's the kernel of an idea in this that will just go to the max in Laminate. And so I do think she has deeper things to say about this.

She's just not choosing to say it here, or perhaps isn't ready to say those things here. Alright then, the third and penultimate song this week is this. Today this could be the greatest day of our lives Before it all ends, before we run out of time Stay close to me, stay close to me Watch the world come alive tonight Stay close to me Tonight this could be The greatest night of our lives Let's make a new start The future is ours to find

Can you see it? Can you see it in my eyes? Can you feel it now? Can you hold it in your arms tonight? Tonight. Okay, this is Greatest Day by Take That. Released as the lead single from the group's fifth studio album, we heard about it before, titled The Circus, Greatest Day is Take That's 21st single overall to be released in the UK, and their 11th to reach number 1,

and it isn't the last time we'll be coming to take that on this podcast. Greatest Day went straight in at number 1 as a brand new entry knocking Beyonce off the top of the charts. It stayed at number 1 for... one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 70,000 copies, beating competition from Right Now, Na Na Na by Akon, which climbed to number 8. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Greatest Day dropped 1 place to number 2. By the time it was done on the charts, it had been inside the top 100 for 28 weeks, the song is currently officially certified platinum. In the UK, as of 2024, I was expecting higher. Lizzy, how are we feeling about Greatest Day?

Well, I mean, with this, like with the previous song, the lyrics may have well been written by Shaq Barel because this is so route one for Take That. You know I've not been the biggest fan of Take That Mark 2 but they've already done this song twice. This is the same song and I think worse still the one thing that really stands out to me is Garry Barlow's vocal on this is piss-ball. He keeps reaching for that high note in the verses that is like a particular jump, like the greatest day of art. And he has to like... And if the world comes alive he does it again there. He has to like throw himself down the stairs just to get back to the original note. It

sounds ridiculous. And yeah, just there's nothing going on here. I think this is, I think this is really poor. Maybe I'm being unfair, maybe I'm just in a grouchy mood this week, but they're not even trying. And I know I've said before about this pseudo religious thing, but what else could this song be about? It's just nothing. Today this could be the greatest day of our lives. Why? For what reason? What is happening on this particular day that would warrant that? Tell me. Just give me something for fuck's sake. No, this is shit. I'm sorry, it's shit. Wow, you don't want to expand on that?

No, I will expand on it a bit actually, although it's not really the song's fault. Wow, you don't want to expand on that? No, I will expand on it a bit actually, although it's not really the song's fault. This used to be on a show. It was always used as incidental music for a show called Wanted Down Under, which is a show I fucking hate it. I was off sick of work for a while and this was the sort of thing that would be on TV inevitably. I'd never turn it over because I was tired and I was the sort of thing that would be on TV inevitably. I'd never turn it over because I was tired and I was in bed but it was always the same thing so you'd get these families like

you know Barry and Michelle and they'd be saying like we want to move to Australia so they'd send them over there for a free holiday essentially. They'd go around all these horrible little mansions you know the sort of houses that you see on like Zillow where they've got that landing strip underneath the top window that doesn't serve any purpose. And they'd go around and say, oh, the bedrooms aren't very big, are they? It's like, Jesus Christ, what do you want? You're on a shoestring budget.

And they do this stupid thing where they have like the laminate flags, so they have a UK flag on one side and the Australia flag on the other. And at the end of each round, quote unquote, they'd sort of do this thing where they'd like flip them over and like just twirl them. Like, way to build anticipation for your answers. And then they'd go to things like sort of faux job interviews where they'd say, oh, well, you need this qualification. It's like, right, so we've come over here and our qualifications are useless. Brilliant. And to cap it all off, beans are more expensive here, apparently, because they have to come from halfway across the world rather than on our doorstep and then they do the worst thing which

was they send over like a dvd of their family and friends all crying into the camera like oh for god's sake like oh don't go we'll really miss you it's like today this could be like yay we're leaving and everybody resents us and our parents who are going to be dead soon, we're not going to see them because we're going to be halfway across the world living it up in sun. And inevitably it all sort of come down to nothing because like you'll come to the end it's like what did they decide to do? Nothing because they couldn't afford to. Like right so what was the point? Why did we do any of this? And that's how I feel at the end of this song like what did this achieve this is just nothing I'm doing what you're doing now Rob I'm doing that high voice yeah very little to say about

greatest day except that this is probably I think this represents the moment where Gary Barlow goes full neoliberal pop and attempts to worm himself into the establishment to become less of a pop star and more of a media personality who will smile in all the right places, dodge all the correct taxes, land himself an OBE and then vote for a succession of Tory governments. As soon as I hear this, all I can see is a montage of amateur runners at the London Marathon on the BBC, and I imagine Gary Barlow imagined it being used during the London Olympics four years from this point. Although I will say huge credit to Gary, actually, for getting up and performing Rule the World Instead that

night, seven days, seven days after his daughter died, and carrying that performance off when his mind was no doubt on another planet. What the hell, I didn't know that. Admittedly, I think you could level the following accusation at patience and shine, but this smacks me across the face with cynicism, basically from the word go, pushes all the obvious buttons lyrically, sonically, aesthetically, compositionally, it's BBC safe, fit for footage of sunrises and children smiling, and also if terrestrial channels ever decide to revamp their weekend breakfast programming, and let's not forget, perfect for emotional bits on the X Factor. Oh yes.

Because the X Factor, it just infects everything, everything this week nearly. It's just like, Beyonce aside, but like, even the next one feels, well, it's an X Factor test. But you just, you know that joke in Family Guy about the Godfather? Have you both seen this? It goes around every now and again, you know, where for people who don't know, there's this scene where like the family are trapped in some kind of vault safe thing and water starts filling up and Peter says, all right, since we're going to die, I feel like I should let you know a big secret. I never cared for the godfather. And even though they're all about to drown, the whole family goes, what? You never liked the godfather? That's ridiculous. How could you possibly say that and Peter's justification is just it insists upon itself, Lewis And that's this it insists upon itself. Yes, it's making a grand statement and it's a grand pop song

that's just kind of Just he thinks that it's a grand pop song by default because the kinds of things that these ostensibly grand songs are usually about. A kind of pop that is entirely positive but super clean. Like you can feel Gary writing this like, oh my god, people will say that this has to be the new national anthem and I'm writing it, oh my god. dollar signs in his eyes as he realizes that it will be on compilation CDs called Great British Driving Songs 2009, 2010, 2011 and forever because I will say to its credit with this Gary Barlow is a master craftsman at this stuff. He knows exactly how to build a song from something humble and vulnerable into something strong but emotionally grounded. And I don't hate this for that reason, but he has written better and will write better things than this. It's a shame the flood didn't get to number one when this

did because I think that's a much better example of a similar sort of starting small, growing large, big declaration kind of song. Whereas this not bad, but more a statement of what Gary Barlow can do in his sleep and what Gary Barlow wants his future to be than anything else. Andy, how are we feeling? First of all, about those stupid, bloody aspirational lifestyle shows where it's like, oh, should we buy this house, etc. I have to recommend a really good Mitchell and Web

Sound radio sketch about that that takes the mickey out of those shows where there's like a kindly presenter who says Tony and Michelle have said they want to move somewhere that's more central with more space that costs less money. I asked them if they wanted cream on top. And then it says like at the end Tony and Michelle did ultimately decide to go with that rubbish one bedroom flat that we recommended at the start because that's what they could afford. Yeah, I hate those kind of shows. And very good skewering of those, Lizzie, thank you.

I don't like this at all. And actually for different reasons, I'm going to disagree with you Rob, that I, the thing is about Gary Barlow is that I have always said he is a very good songwriter and especially Rule the World that like I'm not like the biggest fan in the world of modern take that or old take that but I do appreciate that Gary Barlow knows how to put a song together that he knows how to get from A to B with a lot in between and really take you on a journey and particularly Rule the World. I think that bridge of the stars are coming out tonight in Rule the World is like a spine tingling pop moment where it takes what has been a very good

ballad up to that point and makes it really great and elevates it into something else. It's excellent and if we were covering that song it's like a 9 or 10 out of 10 for me that song It's really really good and I can't deny the effectiveness of it. But this I think is Appallingly written. This is some of the worst songwriting I've ever heard from Take That because it has no structure at all It's like that bridge from Rule the World just stretched across an entire song with nothing else. There's no verse There's no chorus. There's no chorus The whole thing is 100% two bridges bits that it's not discernible Which of them is the verse or the chorus is the greatest day of our lives but in the world comes alive Which is nothing more than just a kind of play out riff really and that's the entire song

There is no structure to this song whatsoever And I think you can barely describe it as having been written at all and that's the entire song. There is no structure to this song whatsoever. And I think you can barely describe it as having been written at all. It's not finished. I think the songwriting in this is shockingly bad and it just needs some kind of structure. I was listening to the whole thing,

like, when's it gonna start? I don't feel like it started at all. I feel like this is just all intro, like it's all bridge. And it's got those sweeping strings all the way through. They're coming pretty much from the start after about 30 seconds. And it's like, it's like I've started,

either this is a really long intro and the song's never gonna get started or I've come in at the very end and I've missed the rest of the song. Cause this feels like a victory lap with nothing else there to have heard. You've just started running and you're already at the finish line.

Yeah, yeah. It's like someone's just played a clip of the song to me, but it's not, it's the whole song is just the clip of the song. It's bizarre. Like there's quite a few songs that we've covered in the past where we've said, oh, it gets through all its ideas in a minute. But for this, this is literally true. I think everything in this song is in the first minute or two, or you could pack it all into a minute or two. So I'm really

let down on that front and it's total arrogance and laziness really. It's like, yeah, we're take that. This is what take that have got to say this week. Yeah, hands in the air everybody and praise take that for their amazing emotions. There's nothing here. There's nothing in this at all. I agree with you Lizzie. It's like what is great about this day? Like what does it mean? What does it mean by the world coming alive? I almost wonder if it's back on this theme again of religious imagery with Gary Barlow, that maybe it's like the rapture or something. It's just, I don't know what else it could possibly be. It's formless, it's meaningless and it's very very barren. I think the actual constituent elements of it are fine, like it's not bad in that sense so I'm not going to give it like the worst like review ever but there's very little to it. It's incredibly lazy, incredibly undercooked, and they can do so much better than this.

It is not their greatest day, it's not their finest hour. This is a day best forgotten to take that, I think. Do you know what it kind of makes me think of? And I did look this up this week, and I think I could probably put the two together. I imagine that at some point over the summer, Gary Barlow heard One Day Like This by Elbow. Oh, of course. Because they have said, take that, have said, it took them three to four hours to write this song. Sounds like it.

Yes, it does. That sounds like too long. They spent one minute on it, then they went to get a McDonald's and then they chilled out in Stockport for a bit and then they came back with the remaining two minutes. But One Day Like This was released in, well, released on the 2nd of June 2008 and The Greatest Day was released on the 24th of November 2008. Yeah. And I think there's several three or four hours between the start of June and the end of November.

But one day like this really works because it has lots of specific details and is literally just about waking up with a hangover. Like, it's just waking up and being like oh maybe life isn't so bad but my head really hurts so I'm gonna throw those curtains wide and try and you know just kind of flush the hangover out of me basically. I was also thinking I can't remember which one of you said it about Viva La Vida and how that would eventually become the chorus. It's kind of a halfway point to that, where, you know, Andy, as you were saying, that that world comes alive bit

is just an elongated sort of bridge section. Similar kind of thing, I think. I think the point about One Day Like This is quite a good shout, but I really won't allow One Day Like This to be dirtied by being uttered in the same breath as this, to be honest. Like One Day Like This, I think is a gorgeous song. I think it's really, really nice. And it's so well orchestrated. And I think the key difference, like I say, is structure.

Like One Day Like This has very clear structure where it like has those verse bits that conclude with, it's looking like a beautiful day, bit of orchestra onto the next bit and then it has that big thing playing you out at the end. It takes you on a journey. This is just like, it's like if the throw those curtains wide bit was just the whole song and there was nothing else at all. But I do think that is actually really good shout that that might well be what's inspired them because as the years go by, for take that for both for Gary Barlow in particular, like in his solo stuff, his referencing of bands he currently likes becomes unbearably obvious.

So it could well be that, but this is not in the same universe as One Day Like This. That's a lovely, lovely song. And if that's what they were intending, they've really missed it. They've really missed the mark on that, yeah. Because I think with One Day Like This, that was just written and then it has been picked up subsequently by the BBC as like something to play over footage of festivals and marathons

and children smiling and on breakfast TV and it kind of covers all of these bases. Whereas it feels like Greatest Day has been written for that purpose. Yeah. Just there is a difference there and that I think is what kind of turns me off. Yes. Greatest Day. Not to the extent that I will piehole it, but still. I think one day like this, like, is picked very understandably and very fairly for that kind of footage. Because it is genuinely a nice uplifting life of Furben's song. But it's the right kind of song you would choose for that kind of footage

Whereas this it's it's it's like an imitation of those emotions. It's it's playing at it. Yeah, it's The more I talk about this Just it's heading it further and further into the pie hole. It might be in there, you know, I'll talk I'll decide at the end Well, yes speaking of inspirational songs used for inspirational montages. Yeah next and last up on this podcast this week is this. I'm waiting it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done

I've done And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere Away from here Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you, dear To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry and as we say our long goodbyes Okay, this is Run by Leona Lewis. Released as the fifth single from the deluxe edition of her debut studio album, titled Spirit, which is why it was back in the charts, Run is Leona Lewis's 11th single overall to be released in the UK and her third to reach number one. However, as of 2024, it is her last. The single is a cover of the song originally recorded by Snow Patrol, which reached number five in 2004. Run went straight in at number one as a brand new entry, knocking Take That off the top of the charts. It stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week at number one it sold 132,000 copies, beating competition from Use Somebody

by Kees and Leone, which climbed to number ten. And in week two it sold 85,000 copies, beating competition from Little Drummer Boy, Peace on Earth by Ali Jones and Sir Terry Wogan, under the name of Band-Aged, which got to number 3. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Run fell two places to number 3. By the time it was done on the charts, it had been inside the top 104 for 44 weeks. The song is currently officially certified 2x platinum, so double platinum in the UK, as of 2024. I think if we were to look through history and identify what is the worst possible top 10 ever in the history of the British charts, it may come from this little period. Because oh my god, the new entries this week, I have noticed this over the past few weeks,

that in the sort of, you know, early to mid to, you know, back 2007, whenever a song came up that didn't get to number one at least two or three times, an episode, one of you two or me would go, ah, that's a shame. But I feel like that's been happening less and less. Now it's got to the point where we mention the songs that don't get to number one and you two and myself are going, oh, or like what? I've completely forgotten about the band aged thing.

I still think you made that up. Yeah, I honestly thought for a second that like I'd slipped into like some kind of other universe for a second there. I yeah, I just am Andy run Leona Lewis. I will run as far away from this as possible. No, it's not that bad. I just wanted to make that joke. It's basically hero again. I don't really think that's unfair to say. I think it is, it's hero again. I could probably imagine pretty much everyone apart from the singers who worked on that in the same room making the same songs in the same session using the same presets using the same audio channels and putting it out like at the same time. It's exactly the same. The corporate nature of Psycho, that is the label Psycho, has never been as glaringly obvious as it has this week. I do think though there's kind of no accounting for taste and you sort of have to look at the

British public a little bit because all these songs are getting number one at the end of the day. Like the British public knew what they wanted for these few weeks in 2008 and I do kind of shake my head at it a bit like do you not want something like a little bit different? Do you not want like anything else other than big you know you've won a prize on this morning kind of music? Do you not want anything else than that at all? Nothing against Leona in particular. There's a few things I don't like from Leona's performance in this, but I think this takes its bucket to a well that is already extremely shallow and comes away with even less than before in that run, the original run I used to like it as a kid because I was, when that came out I was like stupid and didn't

understand rock music or anything, so I used to like run. I don't like it at all anymore I think it's pretty dull. Like Workmen like fine you know similar sort of category to use somebody by Kings of Leon to be honest it's just like like beige like the musical equivalent of Doe to be honest. And then you put Leona Lewis on it doing a X Factor style cover and Leona, you know, very good singer though she is, she's not known for being awash with personality and you know putting her own stamp on music, I think that's fair to say, it's not really something that she's known for as a key quality. She's a great singer and she's certainly got range but she kind of lives or dies by her material to some extent and she's got poor material here so I think it's taking a song that

already wasn't to my taste and making it more boring to be honest. Yeah the only thing I don't particularly like about her performance is at the end when she starts reaching for those high notes, like, unnecessarily, where she's trying to keep up with the sweeping strings and she's going like Even if you cannot hear my voice It just sounds like she's trying to break the sound barrier sometimes Yeah, I was walking my dog the first time I listened to this and I honestly was like, I need to set this down otherwise he's gonna start like hearing these hypersonic noises in response to them. Yes, I didn't like that at all. But it's the production that I hate on this.

The big sweeping, the choir behind it, you know, and even like the gentler bits at the start where it's just the piano and Leona because this is a very early canary in the coal mine for that John Lewis Christmas song music genre which I despise. I mean the real kind of starting pistol for that is Ellie Golden with your song a couple years later but this is definitely, there are ad executives getting ideas from the success of this. They're like, oh, we could just do something like this every year. Take a relatively popular like mainstream landfill indie song, have a female singer do it with a soft piano, eventually building into strings, put it over footage of a sad snowman or something and there you go like that equals profit and it does and this is an early example of that and I really

don't like it at all. Rubbish, it's rubbish. Lizzy, how are we feeling? Yeah you're right Andy this is just the same song as Hero. The production especially is the exact same and this is what I mean about how I'm really sick of this production style by now because it's not like this is just happening in 2008 they've been doing this for years like we've had about six or seven different number ones all sound like this and I just don't need it like the best thing I can say about this song is obviously Leona Lewis's vocal, but she's like leagues ahead of Gary Lightbody and Snow Patrol, who I've never got on with.

Like Gary Lightbody, to me he has a voice like Stomachache. And on this song and on the original it's like as if you have a choice even if you can it's like like he's reading it like he's an optician or something like line by line it's just miserable and this like what else can you really say about it i think think the song's dull, the arrangement's dull, the best thing about it is that the owner is clearly a competent singer, but I just don't need this. And who does? This is piss-poor. I think, like, I'm maybe jumping ahead of myself a bit here, but when I think ahead to next Christmas I think it's not necessarily a response to having like X-Factor shoved down our throats or

anything it's the fact that nobody's at nobody in pop seems to be trying everybody just seems to have given up it's like just throwing up the hands like well if you can't be Mays will join them and this is all that's left does everybody know that Lady Gaga is on the way? Maybe. And they're just like, ah, whatever, just wait. Just answers coming out in a couple of weeks. For me, just to kind of finish off on a slightly more positive note, I guess, but we'll start with the negative.

Cars on the Table, Snow Patrol, probably the group I have gone off the most in comparison to how much I liked them as a kid. Loved Final Straw, loved Eyes Open, like when they were out, loads of people I knew were into them, like family friends and stuff. Nearly went and saw them when they released 100 million Sons, but I didn't like any of the singles from the album. Yeah, I didn't bother in the end because I heard Take Back the City and I was like, no, I don't like it. And, you know, I'm sort of like 14, nearing 15. And I'm just sort of like,

you know, I'm that impulsive. Whereas like, don't want, if I don't like one song, I'm like, right, I'm off it. I'm done. From there, though, each time I've gone back, I found them more and more tedious, more and more boring, more and more unimaginative, uninspired, more and more plodding, I'm a soft spot for stuff like spitting games and you're all I have and you know set the fire to the third set fire to the third bar you know but everything else I'm done with you know I listened to the original version of run for this and I realized I'd grown so bored of it that I just cannot be arsed listening to it at all anymore and I think that this Leona version actually improves on it because where Gary Lightbody never raises his voice, funny, because of the um, even if you cannot hear my voice line, and he never follows the trajectory

of the song, he doesn't grow alongside it. Leona actually does follow this at least right to the end, knows exactly when to curtail and unleash the chest voice and the whistle tones, feels like it gets closer to finding the emotions that the original is in search of. But I think that most of the time it just gets too much and maybe goes too far the other way actually into that X-Factor style where it becomes something that Westlife would have been doing about 8 or 9 years before this point. But at the beginning there is a sullen downtrodden darkness in this version's opening stretches and then it does at least manage a celebratory lift towards the end. I think this is pretty basic but it takes pretty simple ingredients, builds outwards,

similarly uninspiring because of how many times songs like this have come out the same Simon Cowell machine but it's one of the slightly better ones I suppose, they've taken something with a sliver of potential, they've made it bearable with more fleshed out execution, but I think this is more of an indictment of how just, ugh, why is everything that Snow Patrol does, why is it all just so on, obsessively on beat? Everything's just, just, do they like go into spasm whenever they think of doing syncopation with anything that they do? Like, everything is just dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Everything that they do, all of their compositions,

like their drummer, I envy their drummer because he has the easiest fucking job in the world. He's just like kick kick snare, kick kick snare, kick kick snare, every single song that they do, unless when they speed it up a tiny bit and they go kick kick snare kick kick snare and just And you might have to go hi-hat hi-hat hi-hat join some choruses Symbol symbol symbol. I'm playing my first drum set look for me and daddy No idea where that came from. I'm sure I really don't like snow patrol The Leon of the Leonor Lewis version is marginally improved. But the end of 2008 is a pit of despair. I mean, we talked about this years ago, Andy, I think, where like, you

know, when we were on like 2003, years ago, in terms of the podcast, where like we were looking at the second half of 2008. And it's like the arse falls out of the charts. It's just like, what has happened? It's like you were saying a few weeks ago, Lizzie, where it's like the arse falls out of the charts. It's just like yeah, what what has happened? It's like you were saying a few weeks ago, Lizzie Where it's like this year just seems to finish with like would you like this expensive ballad or this expensive ballad? What about this expensive ballad or this ballad by fucking Terry Wogan and Ali Jones? Redoing Bing Crosby and David Bowie. I know from it's just where where are the ideas? Why is everybody so mopey? doing I think if anybody's listening to this you can see why if you know we're teenagers 14 15 16 around this time we're all obsessed with pop and have been for years and You know we're starting to grow up a little bit and become sort of more. You know we're engaging with music a bit more

critically and Starting to not just like songs because they're on the radio But you know trying to pick things apart and why do I like this? Why don't I like this? And stuff like that. And this, this is what we get given! And like, I just, I'm not quite, you know, away from the radio yet. I persist for another year or like another 18 months, but like nothing here. I think the big thing for me, Beyonce aside actually, is that we have had a run of number ones here where like, they're not for kids. They're not for teenagers. They're just for like, just families, which is fine. But I think my issue really at the moment is that this stuff being in the charts isn't a problem. It's the only thing in the charts

at the moment. It's the only thing that people are buying at the moment. It's kind of just mopey, so self-serious, po-faced, like, just, ugh, like, everything is X-factor or X-factor adjacent, and it just, this is why the Christmas number one thing happens next year and you know how like there is a one of my favorite album reviews of all time is of Tales from topographic oceans the yes album was released in 1973 and the the review of the album is on rate your music.com and it's one of the funniest music reviews It's just one sentence which is like oh great an 80 minute documentary on why punk had to happen and I feel like

These last few songs are like oh great four songs. They just make we're desperate for Lady Gaga We are desperate for something like Lady Gaga. It feels like the industry, every now and again, whenever there is a major change of format with how pop songs are purchased and moved around and shuffled, and we've gone very much in the last sort of few years from CD to download to the MP3, CD to the MP3, the transition feels complete, and it feels like pop ends up in weird stasis during these periods. It happens again in like 2011, I think, where we kind of move from the end of the CD and the beginning of the MP3 into streaming, where streaming starts to take over from the MP3 download.

And a similar sort of thing happens where the whole industry just kind of goes and it just kind of powers down for a second because you can tell that the label bosses are just kind of going well we'll just see where this latest development takes us and then you know and then it's kind of you know and then things can pick up again once people are settled. I do think that the move from streaming into TikTok kind of had a similar effect, but now TikTok has kind of fully got its claws into the charts that I feel like, you know, more exciting things happen in the charts these days or more unexpected things. There is a better variety of the kinds of artists, the kinds of songs they're making, you know, the presentation and that sort of thing. And it feels like in 2008, it's

just we just need to like make people very emotional so that they'll just spend 79 or 99p on it and then it's done. And well done everyone. Good kind of, you know, everything feels very focus grouped, actually. Everything feels very focus grouped. Simon Cowell running all of these focus groups, clearly, at the moment. And I think that's where the backlash begins to come from. But the main thing for me is looking ahead to 2009, is that I've said it before and I'll put it kind of in very plain terms now, the opening three seconds of Just Dance by Lady Gaga are the most exciting thing that we will have heard on this podcast for fucking ages. Like, I mean, I really like The Promise, and we all really liked The Promise,

but it isn't necessarily a new thing. It's a latter-ar more than anything, yeah. Yes, whereas Lady Gaga I feel like it's the first pop star of the social media kind of internet age I think she was the first major pop star to really understand what we now know as going viral, virality. I think that she was the first person to really understand that in the context of social media but we will discuss that when we get into 2009 because we've got a whole Christmas episode to do.

We have a whole Christmas episode to do next week. Hits 21 HQ is in need of a night out. So Andy, Hero, the X Factor finalist 2008, Pie Hole? Well, a hero may lie in you, but this song lies in the pie hole. Yeah. Um, If I Were a Boy. If I Were a Boy is fine, but she might as well be singing about if I were in the vault, which she isn't, or if I were in the pie hole, which she isn't.

So that's going nowhere. As for Greatest Day, well it's actually the worst day of Take That's Lives because they're going into the pie hole for the first time from me. Yeah. And as for Leon Lewis, she successfully runs away from both the Vault and the Pie Hall. Yeah. Lizzie, the X Factor finalists. I was just going to go straight through to be honest with you. Pie Hall, nothing. pie-hole, pie-hole. Yeah. I am going pie-hole for X Factor finalists, nothing for Beyonce, nothing for Take That, and nothing for Leona Lewis. So when we come back, we will have that announcement about our future, and we will also be covering the race for Christmas number one in 2008! I wonder what's going to win, and I wonder what's going to win

and I wonder who's going to be behind it. Maybe we'll find out in seven days time. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Hope you like X Factor ballads. I just, ugh. But yes, we will see you for it.

Promise we'll have smiles on next week. See you then. See you in a bit. Bye now. Bye.