Hits 21 - 2009 (8): Taio Cruz, Chipmunk, Alexandra Burke, Cheryl, JLS

Episode Date: August 3, 2024

Hello again, everyone, and welcome back to Hits 21, the show that's taking a look back at every UK #1 hit single of the 21st century - from January 2000, right through to the present day. Twitter: @Hits21UK Email: [e-mail] Vault: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5O5MHJUIQIUuf0Jv0Peb3C?si=e4057fb450f648b0

It's 21. Hi there everyone, welcome back to Hits21 where me, Rob, me, Andy and me, Lizzy are looking back at every single UK number one of the 2000s. If you want to get in touch with us, you can find us over on Twitter. We are at Hits21UK, that is at Hits21UK. And you can email us too. Send it on over to Hits21Podcast at gmail.com. Thank you ever so much for joining us again.

We are currently looking back at the year 2009 and we thought that we would thank you all for waiting for us for two weeks by giving you a bit of a bumper episode this week instead of looking at our usual three songs. It's gonna be five songs this week. Nah, you're having us on Rob, it can't be five. Wow. Yeah, back to the early 2000s

at the very beginning of our show. Nice way to sort of bookend it really, bookend the decade. This week we'll be covering the period between the 20th of September and the 14th of November for that reason. So our poll winner, run this town. Jay-Z Rihanna and Kanye West. So it is time to run through some news headlines from around the time.

The songs we are covering in this episode were at number one. The Sun, the biggest selling newspaper in the UK withdraws its support for Gordon Brown's Labour Party and announces it will be now giving backing to David Cameron's Conservative Party. And in America, 13 people are killed and 33 people are injured when a US Army Major opens fire at the Fort Hood Post in Texas. Over in the UK, we are hit by devastating storms and rainfall, causing flooding in southern parts of England and western Scotland. It was later revealed that November 2009 was the wettest month for a hundred years. And British driver Jensen Button wins the Formula One Drivers Championship for the very first time. And in the US state of Colorado, Richard Admayumi Heen claimed that their 6 year old son is

trapped in a helium balloon. Upon landing, however, the US National Guard found that the balloon was empty. It was later revealed that the six-year-old boy had been hiding in an attic the entire time, with the incident later exposed as a hoax. Yeah, Balloon Boy! We finally hit a memeable news headline. The films to hit the top of the UK box office during this period were as follows. Fame for two weeks, Up for three weeks, Michael Jackson's This Is It for one week, A Christmas Carol for one week and 2012 for one week.

The world of pop mourns the death of former Boyzone member Stephen Gately, who dies aged 33 in Majorca. Stephen had been on holiday when he suffered a pulmonary edema. It was later revealed that Stephen had a heart condition which had remained undiagnosed. However, Daily Mail journalist Jan Moyer attracted widespread condemnation for writing an editorial that assumed Gately's death was linked to his homosexuality and was littered with homophobic commentary. And back in the UK, Children in Need raises more than £20 million. The night was hosted by Sir Terry Wogan and Tess Daly, and featured performances from Taylor Swift, Robbie Williams and Peter Kay's all-star animated band performing

the official BBC Children in Need medley, which I'm sure we will never hear about on the podcast ever again. Andy, the UK album charts, how are they doing? Well it's interesting because almost every week in 2009, because this year has been progressing almost in real time, it's been that slow. I've usually only had one or two albums to talk to you about, but because we're covering a nice chunky period this week, I've got seven, no less, to talk to you about this week. So, I'll rattle through them.

So, first of all, we've got Muse with The Resistance, which went to number one for one week and went double platinum. Also number one for one week and double platinum was Celebration, which was a compilation by Madonna with a couple of new songs on there. That's then topped by a band which Rob I think has heard of called Paramore, never heard of them myself, they went to number one for one week with brand new eyes and went single platinum. That's then replaced by none other than Barbra Streisand at number one with Love Is The Answer that went number one for one week and went gold. Then we've got the editors with In This Light and On This Evening which went to number one for one week and went gold again. We're getting into the era now

where a lot more albums are managing number one with gold or single platinum which is little bit of a trend really that will get much worse in the tens but yeah and then we've got a few new faces at number one with their debut albums reaching the top spot we've got alexandra burke with overcome which went number one for one week and went double platinum we may hear more about her later on and then she's toppled by her mentor sheryl cole replaces her at number one with with her debut solo album, Three Words, which went to number one for two weeks and went triple platinum. So it's kind of something for everyone this week. If you don't like any of Cheryl Cole, Muse, Madonna or Barbra Streisand, then I don't know what to say to you really. We've tried our best. Lizzie, how are the states? Stravain, folks. It's a long, long update from me this week.

So, some good news at least, the Black Eyed Peas' 26-week-long reign of terror finally came to an end in mid-October, when J. Sean and Lil Wayne claimed the top spot with Down. It spent two weeks at number one. Yeah I know and it was Jay Sean's first number one single and Little Wayne's second. So get this, Jay Sean became the first British act since Coldplay to score a US number one single. It also became the biggest selling US single by a British artist since Candle in the Wind 1997. Goodness me.

Eventually being certified six times platinum. However, this hit number one in the US and not the UK. And the last time that happened was... Oh, I don't know. You won't get this. I mean, we've already gone as far back as 97 in this segment so all bets are off really. The last time that happened was kiss from a rose by seal in 1995. Wow. Wow. Okay. The power of Batman eh? Yeah. The song only got as high as number three over here and it was held off the top spot by Cheryl. More on that later.

Around the same time Britney Spears returned to number one with three. It was, fittingly, her third number one in the US, and it went straight in at number one for one week. It was eventually certified, again, fittingly, triple platinum in the US, and back here in the UK it got as high as number seven in mid-November. In early November, we got another new number one, this time from Owl City with Fireflies. Oh. It was the first single from his debut album Ocean Eyes and it stayed at number one for one week. It was eventually certified Diamond in the US with over 10 million sales recorded.

It also got to number one over here in January of 2010 and remains his only number one single on either side of the Atlantic. So we might get to talk about it in like, I don't know, three, four years? No rush. Yeah, no rush. Yeah, no hurry. And finally this week for singles we have Jason Derulo with Whatcha Say? It was yet another debut number one single and it stayed at number one for one week. It was eventually certified five times platinum in the US and it got as high as number three over here in late November. So finally we move over to albums where we have the Blueprint 3 by Jay-Z, 2 Weeks got

to number four over here. Then we have Backspacer by Pearl Jam. 1 Week got to number 9 in the UK. Love Is The Answer by Barbara Streisand. 1 Week also got to number 1 over here. Crazy Love by Michael Buble. 2 Weeks also got to number 1 over here. New Moon, one week not eligible for the main albums chart because it's a soundtrack, it being Twilight of course. And finally This Is It by Michael Jackson, one week peaked at number three in the UK. Yeah, those Twilight soundtracks were good man. They were good. Yeah.

Alright then, thank you both very much for those reports and we are gonna come back to the UK for our first number one of the week which is this Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Now listen to me baby Before I love and leave you They call me heartbreak up I don't want to deceive you If you fall for me I'm not easy to please

I might tear you apart Told you from the start, baby from the start I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart Okay, this is Break Your Heart by Tayo Cruz. Released as the lead single from his second studio album titled Rockstar, Break Your Heart is Tayo Cruz's seventh single overall to be released in the UK and his first to reach number one, but it isn't the last time we'll be coming to Mr Cruise on this podcast. Break Your Heart went straight in at number one as a brand new entry knocking Pixie Loft off the top of the charts. It stayed at number one for… three weeks! In its first week at Top The Charts, it sold 65,000 copies, beating competition

from Celebration by Madonna, which got to number 3, and She-Wolf by Shakira, which climbed to number 5. In week 2, it sold 49,000 copies, beating competition from Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys which climbed to number 3. And in week 3 it sold 43,000 copies, beating competition from Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap which climbed to number 7, Hotel Room Service by Pitbull which climbed to number 9 and Dirty Cash by Dizzy Rascal which climbed to number 10. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Break Your Heart fell three places to number 4. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 23 weeks. The song is currently officially certified platinum in the UK as of 20, 24 in every week that that was number one it kept off a far superior number

one. Yes, it did. Oh my god, She-Wolf Empire State of Mind in sweet disposition not getting to number one while this is just sat there is a travesty but anyway Andy kick us off with Tayo Cruise. Yeah, I've said it a few times now because we are getting to the absolute final little corner of the Northies now. So I've said this a few times, but it really is evident with this one that this is a song for the 2010s rather than the Northies. And I would say that about Tayo Cruise in general, really, not just because all of his songs sound basically the same. really, not just because all of his songs sound basically the same. You know, this one particularly sounds a lot like that higher song that he will do a year or two time from this. It sounds very much like that. But also Tyre Cruise has that what I can only describe as the 2010s voice,

which used to be a real annoyance to me. It still is a real annoyance to me. That kind of over singing of words where like you say the word down, for example, where you'd sing it like down, you know, like it's the problem that I always had with Sia and with people like that, that they just kind of over enunciate words. And it really like such a weird specific thing to start with. But it jumped out with me so much in this song that's like, oh,

we're starting that now, are we? And like this is fine for what it is but it's really the equivalent of like a music meal deal to be honest. Like you've got five minutes, pop something on just to fill your ears, pick this, fine, you'll never think about it again. Yeah and I think that was Tire Cruise all over really. It managed to feel a very specific niche where like he was sort of broadly popular but no one really thought anything about him, to be honest. And this sounds like I'm throwing a huge shade but I'm not because he was uncontroversially popular which is a very rare thing and he deserves credit for that.

But I think this song in particular really plays it safe, you know, it's really, really straightforward and not too much to analyse to be honest. It really kind of struck me that he is coming across a little bit like the British Isles take on Usher. A lot of those sounds, the vocal style, the kind of sort of plaintive singing that's quite expressive and quite kind of, some might say moany, I wouldn't say that, but you know, there's quite a lot of that in there. And so I can see why he got popular because he's definitely filling a market there.

But it's not particularly for me for this one. My main memory of this is actually around this time, for some reason, no idea why, I developed this crippling fear of any kind of cable car or lift or anything like enclosed taking you up anything like that I couldn't stand it at all and I went to the Liverpool big wheel which was I don't know if it's there anymore but it was by the the Eco Arena they had a big wheel and I took my eight-year-old cousin on it and I was absolutely shit scared to the point where I was scaring him

and Break Your Heart was on in the car and he was in the cable car and so he was trying to cheer me up by rocking the cabin of the big wheel and singing to me I'm only gonna break break break break this car which really didn't help I've got to say it didn't help and so I had to keep my cool as my eight-year-old cousin bullied me. Let's just say that. So that's my main memory of the song and it does kind of make me laugh because it is a moment in time, this kind of thing to be honest. Like I say, it's musical popcorn really, you're never going to come back to it. But it's fine, we've got worse this week, we've got better this week and I think I'd rather just move on to those. To be honest, we've got a bump

of five songs to talk about and this one is not the most interesting of the week for me. I agree. There isn't much interesting about this. This is the one that broke the run of one week number ones. I know. Crazy, isn't it? We look back and it's this. Yeah. Like, there's nothing egregiously awful about it and I won't be pie-holing it,

but I'm just a bit dumbfounded about like it being this to break the spell. You know looking at some of the songs that it beat to number one as well it kind of reinforces at least I guess as like a fascinating you know sort of like historical document thing you know the charts like they're the best that we've got but they're not the most ideal metric for working out the actual popularity of songs. Like they are for a week, like, or on a weekly basis, but then, you know, what disappears and what doesn't. And I would argue that more people probably know Sweet Disposition or Empire State of Mind than they do this. I don't know about Sweet Disposition. I don't think that really ever caught on in the mainstream,

but certainly Empire State of Mind though, yeah. Maybe not by the title, but I think everybody kind of recognises that... ...the thing at the beginning. From like adverts. Yeah, from adverts and from 500 Days of Summer and things like that, but... I think, to be honest, the big problem for me with this is not much to do with the song, it's just that like, this is right in the middle of me feeling quite separated from the charts and I Don't really have much of an emotional connection with it to fall back on you know it just the years haven't really helped

You know a few weeks ago, Andy I think it was I think you said that never leave you by Tinty Strider was like the most middle of the middle thing That we'd ever done. Hmm, but I think this is probably the most middle of the middle thing that we'd ever done. But I think this is probably the most middle of the middle thing that we've ever done. A perfectly ordinary pop star and singer putting together a perfectly ordinary instrumental and doing a perfectly ordinary performance. Everything's just perfectly ordinary and that's your lot. It's happy with its inadequacy, it's comfortable in its complacency and it's a solid gold hit for some reason. Lizzy, yeah, what do you think? Yeah, you've nailed it. There are no outright bad aspects of the song, but as an overall package, it's kind of lifeless and sterile. I think his vocal is faultless but unremarkable. The beat is professional but unexciting. And it's got that

don't stop believing chord progression, saying four chords, just going around and around and around and never introducing any tension or intrigue. At most just stretching the chords out a little bit longer in the bridge and in the middle eight. And I think that's a running theme this week. Songs with big production and catchy choruses but a lack of variety or

excitement or substance. The chorus of this for example can get lodged in your head for weeks on end just by reading the title but it's all chorus. Everything else surrounding it feels like just a means to an end and yeah I don't know if that's like a running theme in late 2009, but just doesn't leave much of an impression, sadly. It's a good thing that we've picked this week to do five songs because, as you can tell, not a lot. We've not had that much to say about this one. And yeah, this broke America. This got to number one with the help of Ludicrous, but like, still. Well, I mean, there's the Osha comparison again, really.

But what I will say about Ty O'Cruise, though, is that he was it's difficult with retrospect because there's not much legacy there, but he actually was very, very popular for a time, despite being not exactly a tabloid figure. But I remember he was in the closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics. He got to do a medley with Jessie J and someone else who was big at the time. They represented the current pop landscape and he was right there alongside the Spice Girls and the Who and everyone else who did the closing ceremony.

You had Tayo Cruz in there. It's mad to think about that, isn't it? That's such a weird thing in retrospect that he was that big. But yeah, yeah. One thing I will say, it's a while before we cover it, but Dynamite is... I much prefer that to this. Yeah, same. Yeah. That's that thing that some pop songs do where they have a second chorus and it's a secret. And yeah, I'm a big fan of that.

But anyway, not a big fan of this, none of us are. We will move on to our second song this week, which is this. Cause all I'll do is hurt you again Yeah, and again, and again Oops, here we go again You messed up once, I messed up twice But how many times are we gonna try again? I don't know girl, it's like round and round we go I'd so prefer if you left me alone True, cause I can't take the pain

And now my heartbeat feels like an 808 I'm a walking disaster Don't wanna hurt you, that's why you got to go Destruction, white fire Fallin' frown till the smile you got to go Yeah, see the fuss in the fight and let's not Before I see red, let's stop If this hair's ready to end off I'ma find Cupid and put him in a headlock

Like why did you pick on me? Why let the pretty bird shit on me? I don't need good luck, but I need good love That's a girl that'll stand by me And you look honey, I didn't diss you Okay, this is Oopsie Daisy by by Chipmunk featuring Miz D. Released as the 4th single from his debut studio album titled I Am Chipmunk, Oopsy Daisy is Chipmunk's 5th single overall to be released in the UK and is first to reach number 1, but as of 2024, it is his last. Oopsy Daisy went straight in at number 1 as a brand new entry knocking Tayo Cruz off the

top of the charts. It stayed at number 1 for 1 week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 82,000 copies beating competition from Forever is Over by the Saturdays, which got to number 2. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Oopsie Daisy fell two places to number 3. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 19 weeks. The song is currently officially certified platinum in the UK as of 2024. Lizzy, Chipmunk and Ms. D although I think this may be the first time in his 21 history that we've covered where a song with two

artists on it and they no longer go by the names they had when this was a number one single they have both changed their stage names since this was number one because chipmunk now just goes by chip and and the miss D just now goes by her can add a usual name which is Dio or Letungie or just Dio so as opposed to Miss D so Lizzy chipmunk I mean I don't have much to say about the song that I didn't already say about the last one. I think, again, it's got that very professional production, but the song is just too simple and repetitive and doesn't really build so much. It's kind of got that nursery rhyme thing going in the chorus, but that's about it. I think the rap is kind of average, I think the tune is average, there's just not really much to it and

so I'm really struggling with this one. But yeah it's good that you've mentioned that they're both sort of, they both are still going but going under a different name. Like Dio's had like five top 10 hits, Chip has been feuding with basically everybody including Stormzy. Including Biff and Kipper. Yeah, they're both... Sorry. Like, they're both still at it, but I think in the case of Chip, he would much rather forget that he ever did this, because from what I I can tell he's trying to put on this much more edgy sort of hard approach like more proper grime whereas this is just

a bit like I don't know fun pop rap which is fine for what it is but I just don't have much for it I'm sorry. Oh you're much kinder on this than I am Lizzie oh god this is so unbelievably just naff isn't it like well yeah it just I love how it like it clearly does something in its chorus which would be described in a press release as a twist on a nursery rhyme or something, but just winds up sounding like something you would just get primary school children to sing this. It doesn't serve the vocalist that well at all, Ms D, she's got nothing to do until the walking disaster bit. It's literally just, they get her to go, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. It's just, that's not a progression.

That's nothing. And I don't think this is the best display of Chip's abilities either. He just sounds like he's phoning it in and exposes that he probably doesn't have much to say. It's another song that's not really bothered about having more than one meaning. It's just like everything that it is

as in the first 30 seconds and it isn't really bothered about progressing beyond that point, it's just, there's that sort of, not really but sort of clever line where he says something like, what is it, turning from a boy to a man and then says that they've reached the end of the road and ugh. I just hate to come across like some old duffer but like this really specific period of pop between like the late noughties and the really late noughties and the sort of like the mid 2010s, it's a really long time. It's like detailed writing in pop just vanishes, like it just goes away somewhere, the harmony goes away, melody is sparse, detail is absent, and stuff like this is so happy to be so

ordinary because the charts are so quiet at the moment and they're not really facing much in terms of major competition, like they stay around the top 10 for ages just by like, just sort of like, by default of like existing. Like they're not staying around in the top ten for ages just by like just sort of like by default of like existing But they're not staying around in the top 100 for very long But they're just kind of in there because there's nothing else like that There's have been a few new entries and I can't believe that tire crews kept off Jay-Z you know in the sort of in the last round that we did but I Don't know I just the 2009 is such a funny little

period where like it's similarly to 2008 I think it just goes off a cliff again well like the first half of the year is alright and then summer holidays hit and it's just like whatever I don't know just the same thing has happened this year Andy I don't know if you want to lead off on this and go into your analysis of it but yeah I'm not I'm not keen on this at all really not I think to call my segment an analysis of it is frankly false advertisement so thank you I've not got too much to say this if I'm allowed a piffy summary I would say oopsie daisy it got to number one because it seems like a bit of a mistake

and if I'm allowed one more joke about Chip's name And I will only make one more. It's a shame that Mrs. D and Miss D didn't change their name to Pin because it could have been Chip and Pin. That's the peak of my comedy. Yeah anyway, so Yeah with this I It's really interesting Rob that you mentioned a few minutes ago when I said Never Leave You was like the first song we've ever encountered that I had literally nothing to say about at all.

That was like the most boring song we've ever covered. Because this runs it close to be honest. This is like in the top five. Definitely. And it's so similar in a lot of superficial ways, but in quite a few ways it is similar to Never Leave You. It's that kind of what you would call a read all about it type song, where it's a female singer while a rapper exudes man pain in a really kind of half arse kind of way to a mid tempo hand clap kind of beat.

These songs are 10 a penny around this time. Some of them, do any of them really rise above them? Do anything interesting? Like, I just love the way you lie, which I'm not saying is particularly good, but it's at least it's something, it's not nothing. But you get a lot of schlock like this that just doesn't really bring anything to the table. And I do say it kind of genuinely like, oopsie daisy, how did it get number one? Because how? Really? I'm quite mystified as to who is buying this stuff,

to be honest. Because it certainly wasn't like your radio mass market. It certainly wasn't mom and dad at home. I don't know if this is like an iTunes effect where, because younger people are migrating to digital music more, younger people have more of an undue influence on the charts maybe than they have done in the past. And so stuff like this is getting to number one. I don't know if that's maybe part of it and that kind of levels out in

future years but I really am interested in how we've got number one to be honest. Yeah this is just like I say it's just ten a penny there's so many of these type of things. I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with it except that it's crying out for some kind of hook that never really comes. Like, they just... especially with... well, whatever they call Dio, just like sort of flailing about in that melody. It almost makes me feel a bit uncomfortable how little of a hook there is in that melodic line. It's just really odd to listen to. And yeah, you know what comes to mind

when I think of Chip, formerly Chipmunk, I'm gonna say this because I've got nothing else to say on the song and it just made me laugh when I remembered this, is you know how two of the Saturdays were in S Club Juniors? Frankie and Rochelle were in S Club Juniors and there just became this bit of a thing at the time that people decided to make up rumors

that other S Club Juniors people had become big. And there was a rumour going around on Facebook, I remember at the time, that Aaron from S Club Juniors was Chipmunk. And there was probably a tinge of racism to that, but also just like people tried to cash in on the idea that all of the S Club Juniors had got famous and made pseudonyms and it really made me laugh and it kind of got a bit out of control and I remember there was briefly someone around Facebook trying to convince people that Calvin from Eskallup Juniors was Bass Hunter which like was never gonna fly and it just made me imagine Bass Hunter getting to the end of Now You're Gone and then just endlessly going, And they called it puppy love.

Anyway, so that is literally my entire memory of Chip, formerly Chipmunk, is those kind of silly rumours. Otherwise, yeah, I've said everything I could possibly say about this and I'm proud of myself for managing to fill these few minutes. Yeah, I'm going to move on. I wonder if this is yet another case of the wrong song getting to number one. So in 2009 Chipmunk did really well at the MOBO Awards. He won like best rapper and was nominated for best song with Diamond Rings featuring Emily Sandé which only got to

number six but that is a much more fun song I feel like we could have got quite a lot out of that but yeah this is just this does stink of like the 12th track on a 13 track album just like like the labels done it to just get this new singer on and like yeah that'll do. You know, saying that you do wonder about what's on these albums don't you? Because you think this is your lead single? You think that with some of these don't you? Like this is what you this is this is that card you're playing what's what's what's your filler if this is your main course? You do wonder about that don't you? Yeah I'd give Diamond Rings a listen that like it's got a really fun like scar sample in it that I think is, well it's a hell of a lot better than this anyway.

What you've said there Andy about young people having kind of like an undue influence on the charts, that kind of ties into something that I've always long believed that after a certain point, and I think that point is when downloads come in in 2004, 2005, that like the influence of the adult market just vanishes from the charts. An adult interest in the charts just kind of dwindles and that it becomes an exclusively young person's game. And now that we have things like iTunes vouchers, songs are selling loads and loads and loads more.

Cause like the sales figures for this year are so much higher than 2006 and 2007, like the weekly number one figures. And I do think that a lot you'll get things that pop up in the charts every now and again, where it shows that the adult market buying things. But the only things that adults tend to buy that gets a number one these days are charity singles and reality show things. Like that's kind of it. Like adults don't tend to play in the regular kind of like everyday things.

They just kind of turn up for the big things at the end of every year. I don't want to, I don't know. I don't want to be snobby about it, but there isn't really any way to say this without being snobby, to be honest, which is that it does feel like there's a little bit of a lack of curation there in the charts, there's a little bit of a lack of more mature stuff seeping through and that's not to say that adults have better tastes than kids because that's demonstrably not true but there just seems to be a lack of variety and like it's just I guess the biggest condemnation I would give this song is that we've got three X Factor or X Factor adjacent songs this week, but of everything we're covering this week, this feels the most X Factor to me, to be honest,

in that it's so thin and there's so little to it and it's so cheesy. And this, I mean, there just seems to be a general lack of anyone curating these charts, that there's just like really low grade stuff getting number one. And all I could think of with that was that perhaps it's because certain audiences are migrating to where you get the sales from faster than others and it's changing the makeup of the charts. I think you do occasionally get that with the charts there was like where you'll have a big act who's really successful and then give it a year and there's like 20 other acts who sound sort of similar Yeah, like doing a similar thing and it works for a bit like for every Beatles as a Herman's Hermits Hey, leave Herman's Hermits alone

Alright then we will move on to our third song this week, which is this. I'm far from terrified Somehow I'm drawn to danger And have been all of my life It fills my heart see-file Halfway through wrong and right I know I'm playing with fire But I don't mind Yeah, the bad boys are always catching my eye Ooh-eh, ooh-ah

I said the bad boys are always spinning my mind Ooh-eh, ooh-ah Even though I know that I'm good for me It's a risk I take when I carry street With the bad boys always hatching my eyes Ooh bad boys Something is complicated But it's straight up bumping me I don't need no explanation It's nothing more than what you see Bad Boys by Alexandra Burke featuring Flo Rida.

Released as the second single from her debut studio album titled Overcome, Bad Boys is Alexandra Burke's second single overall to be released in the UK and her second to reach number one and it isn't the last time we'll be coming to Alexandra or Flo Rida on this podcast. Bad Boys went straight in at number one as a brand new entry knocking Chipmunk off the top of the charts. It stayed at number one for... one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 187,000 copies. Beating competition from Bodies by Robbie Williams, which got to number two,

and Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Goulet, which got to number 2, and Haven't Met You Yet by Mike Goulet, which got to number 9. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Bad Boys dropped one place to number 2. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 27 weeks. The song is currently officially certified platinum in the UK as of 2024. Andy, Alexandra and Flowrider, what have you got? Well I will say thank you to Alexandra and Flowrider because this is a case of the right song got number one this week I think if you compare it to haven't met you yet and Bodys were, it's too warm right now for me to physically be able to shudder. Bodies is far superior to this. I love Bodies. I think Bodies is like... Bodies is possibly a one out of ten. I think it's a competitive for one of the worst songs I've ever heard to be honest. Yeah. Um if it was possible for me to shudder in this warmth I would be shuddering at those two. Anyway

um I quite like Bad Boys. I quite like this. I remember at the time that the thing that was really interesting about this was that it was really different to what people expected from Alexandra because she was, as they all are on the X Factor, she was put in a little bit of a box as a kind of Mariah Carey type, sort of late era Whitney Houston type, which she did eventually go on to play in the Bodyguard obviously obviously but she was quite a balladeer and as an actual pop star I don't think she ever really had a big ballad. Pretty much all of her big hits were up tempo club bangers and it actually suits her way more. I think something like this Broken Heels I used to really like and All long. I think this kind of stuff really suits Alexandra

to be honest and it's quite weird to look back at her as that person who was doing emotional versions of Listen with Beyoncé back in the X Factor because it's really so different to what we actually got and this is quite a refreshing, relatively rare example of an artist who feels like they have actually had some time away, who has actually said oh this is what I want to do now that I've won the X Factor and they've listened to some extent. Probably far less kindness to that than I've actually described it but I think the end result is that we've got something actually quite good here and far less schlocky than I expected at the time. There is one thing I really don't like about this which is the third

line of the chorus where she goes really high and does that even though I know they're no good for me, it's just too high, just too high. There's no need for the pitch to go to that place because the other three lines are nowhere near that high and I remember seeing her do this live on Brit Awards or something and she always did dance moves with the song obviously and it's very hard to do dance moves while you're singing at that kind of pitch and it just may seem a bit wild to be honest to try and pull out these kind of notes. She is an excellent singer and she's got that range so I can see the temptation to I'll get ahead to do something really high in every song but

there's no need to be honest it reminds me of that line in Someone Like You by Adele where she goes really high on that one line in the chorus and she's erased that from history basically she always always lowers that live and that's the right decision and I wish that wasn't there in this song it's a real stain on that chorus. But otherwise I think it's like quite good. I think Alexandra really sells it. I think it has a lot, maybe too much, in the production. It's kind of a cacophony of sounds. As for Flowrider, as always, he's just sort of there, sort of not bothering anyone. If Flowrider sang in the forest, does it make a sound? You know?

I don't really have anything to say about his contribution to the song. Good luck Eorivision, Flowrider. But But yeah, I quite like this. I quite like this. I think I probably like this more than people generally do, to be honest, because I just remember that feeling at the time of, oh, she's actually interesting. She's not another Leona. She's not another, you know, 10,000 balladeer young female singers that have been on the X Factor. She's actually got some pizzazz to her. So yeah I think this is quite refreshing I quite like this yeah it's not the like the most amazing thing in the world but it's exciting at least it's something different yeah. For me not the best song this week but definitely the most interesting there is something about this

that is so fascinating to me because I feel like a lot of its decisions are just inexplicable. Like inexplicable, even if they make sense in terms of theory. Just the way that it starts, the fact that this is something I appreciate, this is so different for an X Factor artist. Like even Shane Ward wasn't really allowed to go this racy. Like a lot of his songs were about sex and love and stuff like that, but they were slow jams and sensitive and breathy and all that. Whereas this, it like thunders in with that sort of like hyper electronic things.

Yeah, it's almost like a dubstep beat, isn't it? Yeah, the bad attitudes, the bad boys, bad boys, the stomping down a runway in a minor key. And, you know, you go through this verse and Flowrider's there, he's got a rapper on an X-Factor song and all this stuff, and then it just lurches into that major twinkly, spinny chorus with a borderline melancholic melody about not being able to give up the bad boys. And then you get Flowrider in for his big verse, where it's Flowrider style, but it's over this really minimal, twinkly instrumental.

And it's just, like, I don't really like any of these decisions, but it has kept me going back for more, and I have to give props to them, kind of swinging with this because this this could have been a big swing and a miss they do go for something with this it's a bit dangerous and exciting for the X factor instead of just another slow ballad or gentle R&B thing you know like it feels like they've allowed Alexandra to be a bit of a guinea pig for maybe trying things of you know because JLS have come along as well I do wonder if it's because

Alexandra and JLS are like well the fact that is that they're not white like Leona was sort of you know as well kind of Leona Was never allowed to go this far But maybe it feels like because they're not white that like Simon Cowell's like expectations of them are a little bit like oh We need to give them something like this Instead and it's like something that we would never give to white artists if you know I mean I don't know if that plays into it a little bit that like Simon Cowell's trying to find the urban market

As it were I mean maybe but I don't think that really applied to Leona because yes They were a little bit more R&B infused but Leona still consistently always had ballads. I don't think there was ever anything that was kind of pizzazz that Leona was given. Interesting to imagine the timeline where she was given something like this. I wonder how she would have dealt with it. Because I think Leona, as much as she's probably a better singer than Alexandra, I think Alexandra's got more personality. So I think they got this the right way around, to be honest.

Yeah, I didn't want to be too mean and say that Leona doesn't have much of a personality as a pop star. She has a great voice, but I don't think she's someone that... No one's devoted to her, are they, if you know what I mean? She's happy to turn up and do the job and that's fine and she does the job ably But I think that she had the right personality to win a talent show, but maybe not to sustain like a massive You know like exciting pop career as opposed to just like being given ballads and Leona feels like she was geared more towards the adults market To be honest a lot of her songs are like she was geared more towards the adults market to be honest. A lot of her songs are safe for the adult market if you know what I mean.

And they sell, they sell like hotcakes in the adult market. It's just that by this point already kids are more interested in Alexandra and more excited about what she's going on. But Lizzie, how about you? Yeah, say it with me folks. At least it's not a ballad. say it with me folks at least it's not a valid yeah I do like you both of you I appreciate that it does take some risks it has that really sort of like ear-splitting intro. It's like Pikeman isn't it? Yeah and they they could have gone the easy way with this they

could have seen her and thought, right, so she does sound a bit like Whitney. What we need to do is get her to do Whitney's 90s stuff where it's just all like 70 BPM, like barely moving. But no, there's a bit of kind of danger and energy to it. And it like sells Alexandra Burke as like a dangerous sex symbol. I like that, that's cool. Andy, I do agree with you that that note in the chorus is too high and like you say when you're trying to do a dance routine to it it's just, I can imagine it would get stuck in your throat a bit, so probably a bit of miming involved there but I don't blame her. No, no, yeah.

And I agree with your point about someone like you as well, not to talk about a different song, but I always feel like the development of that adds to the story of it. Like it used to be that she'd hit that high note because she was desperate and upset and on the verge of tears, whereas now she's more mature and she's grown and she's over it but it still hurts a bit. Like that reason here. She can go down to that lower register. Like that. There you go. Anyway I'm just talking about a different song, I'm sorry. I do agree that the flow ride a bit as well kind of comes out of nowhere. I don't think the song really needed it. Although maybe, I don't know, there was like a cross promotion opportunity and they just saw it and took it and it worked because it, you know, it broke 100,000 sales.

So did fine in that regard. But yeah, as much as I don't, I don't love this. It is a bit stompy in that kind of SOS by Rihanna or womanizer by Britney, especially Realm, where it's a bit intense to listen to sort of on my own. It's pretty good. It's definitely much better than a lot of the Simon Cowell related stuff that we've come across recently and better than, dare I say, the remaining two that we're coming across in this episode. I'm not sure about that.

I'm not sure about that. But okay. I think, I think definitely the last one and the next one, I have my problems with it. I would be fascinated for an American to hear this because I often think this about songs that are really big in the UK. It's funny you know we were talking at the start of the episode about songs that were number one in America but not in the UK by British artists and so I'd be really interested to hear an American's take on this because obviously Flowrider is massive in America but this song didn't even chart in America it wasn't even released as a single, or at least if it was released, it didn't do very

well. So I'll be really interested for an American who's like, you know, seeing Flowrider do like all the big songs that he's done, like low and you know, things like that. And the one right round from earlier this year, I'll be so keen for an American to be like, hey, did you know that he also did this as well? And see their reaction to just that leap into the chorus is fascinating. It really is. I know that it like, it makes total sense, but like it changes the whole mood of the song in a way that like, I mean, okay, it's a swing. They've gone for something. And I do kind of

appreciate that no matter how kind of naff the whole thing feels, but at least they've tried. You know what's really funny as well? There's another single in 2010 where she gets with Pitbull and that did nothing in America either. What song is that? That's All Night Long. Oh, I didn't know Pitbull was on that. I forgot that completely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Alright then, we will move on to our fourth song this week. And it is... this. Make you sick, even the good can be a curse Makes it hard to know which road to go down

Knowing too much can get you hurt Is it better, is it worse? Are we sitting in reverse? It's just like we're going backwards I know where I want this to go Driving fast but let's go slow What I don't wanna do is crash, no Just know that you're not in this thing alone There's always a place in me that you can call home

Whenever you feel like we're growing apart Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start, oh Anything that's worth having Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start Oh Anything that's worth having Sure enough worth fighting for When it's out of the question When it gets tough, gotta fight some more We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight for this love. We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight for this love. We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight for this love. You guess what heaven is worth fighting for. Okay, this is Fight For This Love by Sheryl. Released as the lead single from her debut studio album titled Three Words. Fight for This Love is Cheryl's first single to be released in the UK and her first to reach number one, and it's not the last time we'll be coming to Cheryl on this podcast. Fight for This Love went straight in at number one as a brand new entry knocking Alexandra Burke off the top of the charts.

It stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts, it sold 293,000 copies, beating competition from Million Dollar Bill by Whitney Houston, which climbed to number five five and I Got Soul by Young Soul Rebels which got to number 10 which is a cover of all these things I've done by killers in week two it sold 137 000 copies beating competition from What About Now by Westlife which got to number two Down by Jay Sean which got to number 2, Down by Jay Sean, which got to number 3 and Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas, which got to number 6. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Fight For This Love dropped 1 place to number

2. By the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 104, 39 weeks. The song is currently officially certified two times platinum, so it is double platinum in the UK as of 2024. Lizzy, Cheryl, take it away. Yeah, I mean, it's a shame to me anyway that Cheryl's solo career meant the removal of Zenomania as writers and producers because to me this song lacks the energy and the inventiveness that made those Girls Aloud hits so special. All of the aspects of this song that I think are good have a but attached to them.

I think the tune is catchy but there's almost no variation throughout the entire song aside from the middle eight which doesn't show up for two and a half minutes. I think there are some nice aspects to the production, but the vocals and the beat are too high in the mix, making it quite fatiguing to listen to on headphones. I think the first half of the chorus, you know, the anything that's worth having is a great hook. But the second half of the chorus chorus where she monotonously repeats fight fight fight fight come off as half-baked and underwritten. Cheryl's vocal is

really odd too. I understand that the auto-tune is more of a stylistic choice than a necessity but in part it barely sounds like her at all. But you can tell me that this was sung by Nicole Schurzinger and I'd believe you. I feel like this might have benefited from less autotune or less noticeable autotune and a more emotive vocal performance from Cheryl, which we know she was capable of from her Girls Aloud days. And with the benefit of hindsight, this song did achieve its goal of establishing Cheryl as a solo star, so none of what I've said matters in the grand scheme of things.

I just wish it was a bit more exciting to listen to, like so many of those girls allowed hits still are. So yeah, I don't think it's a bad song overall, but I think it's underwhelming compared to what came before. As I kind of implied before, there is a reason that we've gone for five songs this week, and it's because we've... I think we've mostly sort of looked at these and gone, I've not got a lot to say about all of them. You know, I think there's the bones of something good here, especially in those pre-chorus sections. Like, I agree with you, Lizzie, that anything that's worth having... That's's quite nice you know that feels like the proper chorus whereas the actual chorus is just a point that the song refers like returns to more of a refrain than anything else with regards to that hook the

refrain thing justice for fine by Mary J Blige my god, have you guys ever heard this? Have you heard Fine by Mary J. Blige? Oh my god, if you listen to that and then go back to Fight for This Actually, you won't even need to go back to Fight for This, love. If you just listen to Fine by Mary J. Blige you will look upon Fight for This, love, with completely different eyes. That's all I'm gonna say. The melodies in the verse don't feel all that well defined for me

and I'm uncertain about the vocal smoothing as well, Lizzy. I think it's just, it makes her voice sound a bit thin and the whole thing actually sounds a bit thin to me. Nothing worthy of being like stuck in the pie hole or anything like that but I don't know, it just, I am in the minority because this was a massive deal. Like this was a big deal and it, at least as far as the public's concerned, it did live up to the billing as being Cheryl Cole's first single after leaving Girls Aloud. And it's a more appropriate lead single for her than Break Your Heart by Ty O'Cruz, which was initially offered to Cheryl and then turned down and she went for this instead

and I think that this suits her a bit more. But I just think like there's enough here to be brought to decent life and it's kind of like they didn't bother. I think they've tried to play this as safe as possible to guarantee that the launch goes well and that they've saved the weirdest stuff for later because stuff like Promise This is much odder than History Remembers It Being and Call My Name feels like it's at home in its era in a way that just feels, this just feels kind of nondescript and indecisive and a bit basic, like it doesn't feel like it represents a moment in time or a moment in pop culture, it's just Cheryl's debut single and that's kind of it. I guess it represents the expanding brand of Cheryl Cole, but I don't know if that's

enough for me to look back on really. It isn't a travesty this or anything like that and I do have kind of fond memories, they used to be a video but there is no longer a video of me and a friend dancing ironically to this in a McDonald's in Stockport where they were playing it over the speaker system and me and my friend were doing a funny dance to it not knowing that we were being filmed and then someone got their phone out and said do that again and so we just kind of have to sheepishly pretend to do this dance again with like half of the gusto I wish it was still there but the person who took the video deleted their Facebook a long time ago. But like yeah, I'm glad that it lived up to the billion for everybody else but I kind of look back at this and just

think like it could have been beefier and meatier and more than it is but it's a bit minimal again actually, kind of like a couple of sort of songs that we've had really. It's a bit minimal again actually, kind of like a couple of songs that we've had really. It's definitely in, minimal is in at the moment. But Andy, you can finish us off with this one. I think I definitely come to this from a different angle and I'm probably more in awe of it than you two are to be honest. And I think that's more because, I think this more than almost any other song we've covered, at least in recent years,

is not just a single, not just a debut single, this is a branding exercise, this is a mission statement, this is the trailer for Cheryl as a object to invest in, basically. This was massive. Like, I don't think I will ever forget quite how huge this was, like this was really really big and for those who perhaps don't remember or who were too young at the time this was coming off the back as well of basically exactly what is described in the song is exactly

what was happening to Cheryl Cole where she found out that Ashley had cheated on her and she had forgiven him and they'd stayed together and this had all happened very publicly. There was rumours they were going to divorce, they did eventually divorce. This was all happening very much in the media spotlight and I don't buy into those conspiracy theories that were out at the time that that was all staged but it did mean that this song was... I'm not gonna use the phrase, erring dirty laundry, because I think it does get away with that. Because I think the idea behind this song and the idea behind everything they were doing with Cheryl at this time was nation sweetheart.

That's the phrase, you know, that is the bottom line. She's nation sweetheart. So everything she does has to be absolutely ridden with class. It has to be pristine and polished and everybody loves her. There can't be any sense of her getting down and dirty and getting into the dirty laundry of everything that's gone on in her life, which I think that permeates everything.

That's why it's got this thin, but soft and tender production to it where it's got those little twinkly bits and it kind of has a sort of, I don't know, it just made me think of like the colour silver, like it's all just very polished and nice, this production. And the topic of the song obviously is all about

her making statements about what she thinks and her views. And it's all very admirable stuff, like, you know, if you cheat on me, I'm gonna fight for this love, I'm gonna make it work. And if it's worth having, it's worth fighting for. And the entire song is an exercise basically in making us fall in love with Cheryl. And for an awful lot of people, it worked.

She was the nation's sweetheart at this time. And that is what this song was about. So I find it almost impossible to just look at this as a debut single for her, partly because it's so, so different to Girls Aloud. You would never know she was in Girls Aloud from this. But also because this is the equivalent of like a, I know it sounds stupid,

but this is the equivalent of like a big politician releasing a single. This is someone who's already a massive cultural touchstone in the UK releasing their debut single and kind of putting their brand into it. And so it becomes a little bit more than a song really. And I think that's probably why it sold so well is people just got hooked into Sheryl as a person. It helps of course that it had some amazing imagery alongside it. That red soldier outfit,

like anyone in like 2010, 11, even beyond that, anyone could have seen anyone wearing that outfit and gone, you're dressed as Sheryl Cole. That's not a small thing. You know, anybody would have recognized that. And that kind of cultural cut through is massive. I do think actually as well, as much as she had a little bit of an unfair reputation at the time as not being a great singer, I do think she actually performs this quite well. Yes, there's a lot of autotune in there, but I do give that the benefit of the doubt that it's largely for artistic effect rather than helping her along. Yeah, I don't have a huge problem with it but I do think it's really hard to analyse this as a song and because of everything that I've said there about how this is a Brandon exercise, there is definitely an element of playing it safe

to this where it does feel a little bit like it needs more percussion, like it needs more bass, like it needs some big sweep in there. It does feel a little bit limp and lifeless, but it didn't at the time, it absolutely didn't at all. We're just not caught up in that moment anymore, and when the world was, well not the world, but when the UK was caught up in that moment, this felt like an absolute slam dunk for Cheryl really, and it's only in retrospect that that's worn off. So I think, you know, this is one that so many people at the time would have given a 10 and now would give like a four or five.

And I would never have given it a 10, but I think I would have really enthused about it more at the time because it was one of those had to be there kind of songs, this really. Just this one as well, only this song, because everything else that she released off this album was garbage, just absolutely garbage. She did that one with Will.i.am that was terrible. And she did Parachutes, album was garbage, just absolute garbage. She did that one with Will.I.Am

that was terrible and she did Parachutes which was rubbish where it was like what happens if you sing the same note 500 times you know and then her second album Promise This I absolutely love but I'm not sure if I love it because it's good to be honest. I really love Promise This but it's mad, that song. And also, I think this is the first time we've discussed Cheryl since me and Rob and Ed, who's going to do the 90s show with us, went to see Girls Aloud a few weeks ago. Oh yes! And one of the things I've always liked about Cheryl is that as much as they tried to paint her as this Disney princess, she's got this really silly, goofy side to her.

And the biggest laugh of the night, the biggest cringe moment of the whole night came when You know when people are like hello Manchester, hello Leeds You know, where they try and say the name of the place and she threw that into some of the songs and I can't What was the exact line? Was it in Sound of the Underground? Sound of the Underground Where she went like, it's a static from Leeds And she was just doing bits of that

It was really funny. She did it as well where instead of going, Where the bass line jumps in the bed, or whatever it is in Sound of the Underground, she went, Where the bass line jumps in, Leeds! And she's always got this kind of goofy, silly character to her that is completely at odds with the high and mighty persona that you're trying to give her.

And I like that, to be honest. I like that she was just too funny to really match that persona and so yeah as I think it's become clear because I've not thought about the song that much like this is just so much like there's so much more around this than the song itself and I'm glad that I was there at the time and I understand this because I think someone coming to this now they would think what is the big deal with this it's it's like nothing really but I do get nostalgia vibes from this because it was such a big moment, it really was so definitely the one I've enjoyed revisiting the most out of the five this week. Yeah I think probably I know this is like a world of difference but that's probably

the same with Black Parade as well that part of the reason I love that song so much is because that was like a cultural moment happening when Black Parade got number one. And not to say that this is anywhere near as good as Black Parade because it's not, but it's a similar kind of thing really where it was a had to be there kind of moment. Yeah. All right then, our fifth and final song this week is this. Everybody in love, go put your hands up. Everybody in love, go put your hands up. Everybody in love, go put your hands up. If you're in love, put your hands up. You know you need someone

when the need's so strong. When they're gone, you don't know how to go on. Show the whole world you're stuck in a moment. It's time to get back to the start. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. Someone when the need so strong when they're gone, you don't know how to go on.

So the whole world is stuck in a moment. Standing still until they come back. You accept that they've got things to do. But sometimes in the end, there's nothing left for you. Effort is my senior, baby. I've done too much of it lately Every minute's like an hour Every hour's like a day

Every day lasts forever But what else am I gonna do? I'll wait forever and I'll wait for you I'll wait up, wait up I can't eat, I can't sleep What else could it be? Missing you so deep No long as I'm where you're going to I'll wait forever and a day for you

I'm waiting up, waiting up for you Oh, I'm waiting up, waiting up for you Beep beep beep beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep Drew, drew, drew, drew, drew This is Everybody In Love by JLS. Released as the second single from their debut studio album titled JLS, Everybody In Love is JLS's second single overall to be released in the UK and their second to reach number 1 and it isn't the last time we'll be coming to JLS on this podcast.

Everybody in Love went straight in at number one as a brand new entry knocking Sheryl off the top of the charts. It stayed at number one for one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 122,000 copies beating competition from TikTok by Kesha which got to number 6, End Credit by Plan B and Chase and Status which got to number 9 and Bad Romance by Lady Gaga which climbed to number 10. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Everybody In Love fell two places to number 3.

By the time it was done on the charts, it had been inside the top 100 for 19 weeks. The song is currently officially certified platinum in the UK as of 2024 and before. I go to Lizzy and Andy for comment, I would just like to say that I don't know when the last time this happened was But we have just done five songs in a row that all went to number one in It's in their first week all went to number one as brand new entries Wow and With songs only staying round in the charts between sort of like 18 and 30 weeks as well

staying around in the charts between sort of like 18 and 30 weeks as well. So we've covered 5 songs this week, they've all gone in at number 1 as a brand new entry and they've all stayed around in the charts apart from Cheryl but for between like 18 and 30 weeks. Oh my god it's like we're doing a 2000s episode all over again where we did used to do those 5 songs per episode, they weren't around in the charts very long and everybody went to number one as a brand new entry. I think it took us until like 2000 and the end of 2001 to get a song that didn't go straight in at number one.

I think it was Hey Baby by DJ Otzi. What a week. What a strange, strange week. Um, Andy, JLS, how are we feeling? Well we've said, sorry I couldn't even get through the sentence, but I started laughing. So we've said a few times now that we've done five songs this week to just bump up the schedule a bit, but it's not actually why. The reason why we've done five songs this week is because we actually need to do a whole episode, probably two, three hours, maybe more next week,

where we unpack why they did that, why this song starts the way it does. I'm joking, obviously, but I really think we need to have a long-form discussion involving the most senior figures in the industry, like a Netflix documentary of eight parts of why in the name of Christ, they started,

they started this song with the Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I just absolutely, I've made my dog bark, I did that so loudly. I honestly, every single time I listen to it, which not that often obviously, but every single time I listen to it, which not that often obviously, but every single time I listen to it, I'm just in absolute awe of what?

It's like, because the rest of the song is so earnest and so not that type of song at all, it's really not that far off the like, if you were to do that at the start of like, my heart will go on or something. It's just unbelievably out of place. I just have no idea, I have absolutely no idea why they did that. Maybe back in those days that noise didn't have the connotations that

it does now which is like a completely laughable thing now. Maybe it didn't have those connotations back then but my goodness that is the weirdest production decision I think we've ever had on the show. It's just unbelievable. That said, there is the rest of the song to follow and I've never really listened to Boys To Men all that much, never really heard that much of them, but I don't have to because this song exists. It's as simple as that really where this manages to parody or just nakedly steal off several Boys To Men songs at once. Like, End of the Road, I'll Make Love to You, like it's all there to be honest.

And I really wonder where that came from. I don't know if that's a sense of like, well, we've got a young sort of R&B tinge black vocal combo here, let's try and make them like Boys to Men. I really hope it wasn't just that, but a depressingly large part of me thinks it probably was just that. Oh, it so was. Yeah, and I don't know if it's just that, but like, they're not really the most obvious thing

to draw upon because yes, they were very big, but they were big in the early 90s. This is 2009. People aren't listening to Boys To Men anymore. Like, people of our generation at the time probably never even heard of Boys To Men. It's a really weird thing to draw upon. But is that not like paying tribute to the music you grew up with and in a sense bringing it back

around? Maybe but that's just so out of touch like that's that's similar in theory to like what West Life were doing by covering stuff like Seasons in the Sun. You know it's just... I don't think I don't think it's like massively different to what you get now though where Rob you've mentioned this a few times where you look at the charts and there's songs in there that could be from like 2001. Yes, Miracle, Calvin Harris and Ellie Golding. Yeah, yeah. I just think the connection point with the audience

is really odd though, because they're not gonna know what that is. I think the vocal sound of this song is actually quite pleasant. And I will always say about JLS is that they're not like throwaway boy band, they actually can sing. They've actually got some very nice harmonies,

which they did live as well. No problem at all with their performance. They've still got that vibe about them, which is just weirdly cringe and just weirdly like unfiltered and strange that they're sort of so bad it's good quality about JLS. But mostly this is okay it's just really really thumpingly boring and considering it's only like three minutes ten or something it runs out of steam so quickly like really really quickly and that whole last minute I thought really

dragged by you know it's almost like they know that it's a three minute ten song and they're trying to desperately get to that point when they don't need to. Like they could have easily just drawn a line under this at like two and a half, two minutes 40. There's just so much of that, everybody in love. And I don't think it helps that, despite the fact that they change the lyrics and despite the fact that they do repeats of the chorus, it's always the same melodic line, you could do anything with that and it doesn't create any new spark of interest to change the lyrics because it's exactly the same, exactly the same. So it's a real shame really, like it's a really boring song this to be honest, other than that wild intro it's a really boring song. I think Beat Again,

I will actually say actually that that's really grown on me you know, I do actually quite like Beat Again. The more I've listened to it the more I've thought that's actually pretty good. I might have bought that at the time, like it's pretty good. This is not though, this is like stupid cheesy throwaway X-Factor stuff and after we've just had Bad Boys which was really quite interesting and Fight For This Love which is not quite an X-Factor song but it's in that universe and it is at least making itself a moment. We've got something a bit more throw away in Cash In like this and it drags me down to earth really so I am not one of the everybody that is in love with this unfortunately. Yeah so this is the second Boyz II Men reference we've had this week after Chipmunks.

I've eased off on this over the years. I actually think I prefer JLS in this mode compared to any of their others, where instead of trying to come across as something that they're probably not, they're happy to be full sweet lads yearning after girls and love and relationships and such like, you know. But yeah, the klaxon, the horn, the... oh my god. Just all of it is... What? Why? What's the point? What does it do other than just like go...

It just sets you up for a song that isn't there and it's not like a, oh, false start got you there. It just... I don't know. I've no idea why that's there. I've never known why it's there. You really can't almost believe that someone lent on the key by accident on the keyboard, can't you? It's that incongruous that someone just accidentally pressed a button. In music class at school, like DJ, DJ, DJ! This is, yeah, what is this to say? It's basically just boys to men worship, but like, you know, I mean boys to men, they

were an imitation of Lord of Philly Soulax as well you know an attempt by Motown to sort of get the 90s and you know it worked but in a way I guess like Motown Philly was their beat again and this was JLS's say goodbye to yesterday like that say goodbye to yesterday was the immediate follow-up to Motown Philly it was like Motown Philly you know New Jack Swing and then straight into Ballads and that was like all they did forever after that point and it feels a little bit like with I mean obviously JLS their full thing is Jack the Lad Swing and New Jack Swing that you know this is clearly like that's where the influence comes from but it's fine, I guess, it's just, you know, it's nicely tuneful, I suppose,

and I don't hate this, I really don't, I thought I did, but I don't, it's nice enough. I think as an arrangement it's probably the best we're gonna get this week, but it is just this overall, there's so much overall naffness to so many songs this week and I'm not, I don't know, I'm not keen on this period of the charts really at all. I just find it so strange that the summer holidays and people going back to school always brings up such weird stuff. It really does, like how at least it has in the sort of like the past two or three years of the show where it's just like 2008 falls off a cliff and 2009's kind of gone into steep decline until the very end of the year you know when we get rescued a bit but I don't know I just

I find this whole week just I'm glad that we've decided to do five songs because like I just there's not much for anything I just don't have any relationship with these songs I haven't built a relationship over time I didn't have a relationship at the time, I haven't built up a relationship in the last couple of weeks while I've been listening to them on and off, you know, like getting ready for the podcast and stuff, I'm just kind of glad we got this out of the way. You know? Lizziezy what about you? Yeah well when we last covered JLS I mistakenly claimed that this song was better than Beat Again which it very much isn't. To explain myself I remembered like the every minutes like an hour every hours like a day bit of the chorus which I thought was like you say quite

nice in a boys to men homage kind of way. Yeah. But yeah, for the second time this week, there is a second half of the chorus which completely phones it in and detracts from the first half. So you've got that everybody in love, put your hands up, everybody in love, put your hands up, partying, part in, fun, fun, fun, just like the most monotonous, like beat you over the head with the chorus. I don't know where this trend came from, but since I've got nothing to add on the song but you've not already said, it's kind of, it's nice, it's not trying to be cool at least, but it's kind of boring and runs out of steam very quickly.

Just to elaborate on that second half of the course, it reminds me of a wrestling concept called cheap heat, where a wrestler will like praise or insult the local area or the local sports team to get an easy reaction from the audience. And sometimes that works, especially in America where you haven't got a sports team for another 500 miles so you can insult them and they'll go bro yeah but I went to see a show around about 2000 with my dad and there was a wrestler called Scott Steiner who was this absolute massive muscle freak with like sort of bleach blonde hair and sunglasses and I'm pretty sure he bought a tiger to the ring at one point because he was just this big shot kind of character and this was in like the main event segment and he came to the ring and he cut this sort of scathing heel bad guy promo and to cap it off this was in

Manchester Arena by the way to cap it off I remember vividly the line he said and let me tell you something you have this team here called Manchester United well I think Manchester United suck and like 90% of the crowd cheered because it doesn't work that way here. Yeah, because there are, well, there's another team in town. There's like 20 teams in town. Yeah, Man City! Yeah. So that's all I have to add to this song.

It reminds me of Scott Stein and not understanding football geography in Britain. I have one more thing. Well, it's not for me to add. I want to cue Rob in on it because you made me laugh a lot earlier this week, Rob. If I can cue you in just with your version of the song with, every minute's like an hour, every hour's like a day. Every day is like a week, Every week's like a month. Every month's like a year. Every year's like a decade.

Every decade's like a century. Every century's like a millennia. Every millennia's like a decamillenia. I do want, now that AI exists, I do want somebody to make this. Every age is like an aeon. Every aeon is like an epoch. Oh god. But yeah, that really could...

Oh god, someone's gotta make that. You know like the fake Jay-Z monster verse, where Jay-Z does the verse on Kanye West's monster, where he starts off his verse by just listing a bunch of monsters. Where he goes, Godzilla, King Kong, Lackness you know that sort of thing and someone's done an AI version of like him just listing various monsters. The Babadook and then it gets towards the end of the verse he goes the monster from Cloverfield and maybe they can do something like that with their technical and we'll get, what is it, Mambo, like, the way Mambo turns back on itself. Yeah, but there's just an endless number of Mambo's feet generated at any given second. Oh dear. At least we can laugh, eh, with the songs that we've been given this week. But we will be back next time with four songs next week,

but before we get to next week's episode, Andy I just want to check because there's a lot to remember I think I'll ask you both actually at the same time. So Lizzie, Break Your Heart by Tyre Cruise, Piehole, Vault, where we going? I'm only gonna put this song, put this song nowhere. Andy, how about you? It didn't break my heart nor did it make my heart soar so it's going nowhere. Also going nowhere for me. So Andy, Oopsy Daisy by Chipmunk. Oopsy Daisy, I forgot to put it anywhere. It's staying in the middle. Lizzie, Chipmunk and Mizdy. I'll throw it a chip as a consolation prize,

it's going nowhere. Ah, it's going in the pie hole for me. I think it sucks. Bad Boys by Alexandra Burke Lizzie. It's quite good, quite good, but not good enough for the vault. And not bad enough for the pie hole. Andy. This song's certainly nowhere near enough of a bad boy to go in the vault. And there's nowhere near enough of a good boy to... Oh, move on. Yeah, nowhere. Yeah, also nowhere for me and fight for this love I'm putting that nowhere Andy. I thought about the vault for fight for this love

this song is worth having but it's sure enough not worth vaulting for Lizzie? I'm gonna put put put, put, put, put it nowhere. Everybody in love, that's not going anywhere for me. Lizzy? Everybody who's putting this in neither the vault nor the vie-hole, vie-hole even, put your hands up. Oh I'm putting my hands up. Yeah.

So Andy, you're not putting it anywhere? Yes. Can I just say to all of the listeners by the way, who've been keenly following the last 20 minutes of the show Since I did that klaxon it really set my dog off who has not yet come down from it So maybe that was the target market of everybody in love because he just fucking loves that Richie Richie is the target market Yeah, so thanks. Sorry to everyone who's been here in Embark

But it's entirely my fault, but I sang a little bit of JLS and he just went bloody nuts for it So that was the target audience everyone. Yeah, Richie's putting his hands up as we see him. Can you believe we have had 15 possible votes this week and one vote has put the song in the pie hole and all of the other votes have just put nowhere. Just, oh, what a week. Just what a week. Hopefully next week brings something different with the four songs that we have for you. And we will see you for it.

We will see you then. Bye bye now. Bye. Bye bye. Werewolf, mermaid, Frankenstein, troll, invisible man, Ghost, xenomorph, abominable snowman, Gremlin, Jufra, cobra, manticore, Cyclops, Swampman, Cuthulhu, John Snake, Cerberus, the monster from Cloverfield, Hadriq, Balrog, creature from the Black Lagoon,

Pennywise, the clown, Metagodzilla, Tyrannosaurus Rex, John Squid, Tyrants, Ruby Man, Gargoyle, Gold Man, San Juan, Medusa, Skin tyrus, boogie man, gargoyle, gold man, tanwha, medusa, skinwalker, skeleton, bloser, pumpkin man, scarecrow, chimera, sphinx, centaur, candy man, pyramid head, bride of frankenstein, the monsters, lorraine claw, the sly lack, freddy krueger, the barbed door.