Hollywood Handbook - Adam DeVine, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: February 10, 2014Sean and Hayes delve into the Wrangler Fly Button Jeans Hot Button Issue of the Week by discussing the recent Woody Allen controversy. Then they say a quick bye bye to one of their comedy h...eroes, Sir Jason Leno. Finally, ADAM DEVINE of Workalolics joins the boys to flex his comedy dick by re-booting some classic comedy bits, doing his impression of Javier Bardem, and finishing strong with some crowd work.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. And you made them keep the the as well. Yes, I said the the has to be in it. And they said, well, why? And I was like, I don't know.
That's why it's good.
Great move.
What up, what up?
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
What up, what up to all our listeners? Our listeners, this is a podcast where we talk about Hollywood news and we help people who are trying to get into the entertainment industry find jobs and success and then the happiness that we've found from those things.
But sometimes we also like to talk about more difficult subjects.
Areas that few are brave enough to delve.
subjects.
Areas that few are brave enough to delve.
That's where Hayes and I sometimes get our little oil lanterns and we go down exploring and we come out with the truth.
And we turn our flashlight hats on.
And we get into the mind of some of the unpleasant mucky stuff that goes on.
And when we do that, it's always brought to you by Wrangler Flybutton Jeans
and it's the Wrangler Flybutton
Jeans Hot Button Issue of the
Week. Yes, and
just as a side note
Wrangler Flybutton Jeans
I actually find them to be
much easier to
deal with than
zipper equipment
especially Well, what easier to deal with than zipper equipment, especially...
Well, what Hayes is getting at is when you are physically constructed in a certain way,
it's difficult to deal with a zip fly.
Flip-fly, it leaves an imprint, kind of a zippery maze down the front of your... Let's say, when you are a certain type of man, opening and closing your pants is not a procedure you want to rush.
That's a very smart way to put it.
And actually, one thing that Wrangler will do
is you can have the buttons spread out
a little further apart to get more room,
and they have the U-shaped area,
which is very good.
I know skinny jeans are hip.
Not everyone has that option.
A V-shape can be very pinchy.
In a certain...
If it's a wide...
But anyway...
Anyway...
The hot button we want to delve today is...
It's very hot.
It's been getting hotter and hotter.
And picking up steam and heat and uh this is
uh there's been a controversy going on with uh with woody allen one of our friends he is a friend
of ours as you know that doesn't prevent us from discussing him on the show does not color our
perspective on this in any way we look just at the facts. And lest you think he would ask us to defend him on this program,
I can tell you right now that he would hate it.
Oh, he'd be furious.
If he knew we were doing this right now.
And he'd say to us, and I don't do the best impression, but I do a good one.
He'd say to us, I'm ripping pissed at you dudes.
Because he doesn't want
the stain of what's going on with him to bleed
onto us.
Us and our hit podcast.
And he
has actually asked us to
stay out of it. Stay out of it
whenever he's in any kind of
sort of controversy,
which seems to unfortunately have happened in the past and is now happening again.
Yes.
A lot of people are upset with Woody Allen because they think he's too old to be doing movies anymore.
Yes.
Now, we haven't read all of the articles because, frankly, we're generally more informed than these articles that come out. But we've seen the headlines and we've skimmed them and a lot of it, they're talking about his age and other younger ages and it's not relevant. You should just evaluate movies on the movies that is done. And I think there's a lot to be said for a director getting better as he gets older than, say, they're talking about seven or eight-year-old directors or something like that.
And I think in a lot of cases, a director of Woody Allen's age could actually do a better job than a seven or eight year old would.
And I wholeheartedly agree.
And I actually think, and I know this isn't a wildly popular opinion,
but that some of his movies of the past 10, 20 years have been pretty okay movies.
Yes, I think that he's actually done some of his best work.
Yes, I think that he's actually done some of his best work.
Now, unfortunately, we're not the only acquaintances, friends, people who know him who've gotten involved in this controversy.
And that's part of why we're throwing our hat in the ring is we see people smearing Woody Allen's movies.
Mia, you see all this stuff about Mia Hamm is now involved in. People think Mia Hamm should direct his movies. Mia, you see all this stuff about Mia Hamm is now involved in. People think Mia Hamm should direct his movies, but she's not a movies director and he actually wrote the movies and
that's his idea. And that's not taking away from her talent at all, actually. She's very good at
what she does, which is play soccer. But to say that she should now be directing Woody Allen's movies instead of him,
and I guess maybe starring in them too, is not to say that she couldn't.
She should be doing Mia's movies.
And now I have read, I think, almost a third of this letter that Dylan wrote.
And that really hurt.
Dylan is pretty angry, and maybe understandably so,
but it's not his place to talk movies.
It's his place to write songs and to sell Chryslers.
Yes.
And that was striking to me as such a big fan of his.
And you know, I've always said that I actually think he is a 20th century poet,
which a lot of people think is sort of a fringe opinion, but I stand by it.
I think that actually some of his lyrics are sort of like poetry.
No, I feel the same way. And I've said, Bobby Zimmerman, you and I go way back and I have seen
your writing grow. And I think it's like poetry. And I've seen him be jealous of Woody a little
bit. And is that where this comes from? Does it have anything to do with his movie that he made
a few years ago not being very successful what was the name of that movie sam oh i'm not sure
okay can you get sure right fucking now um i can google it uh well, one great thing about Google these days
is you don't have to talk about it to do it.
You just fucking type the shit in,
and then you give us the answer.
And Sam, if you're going to talk,
what's a good place to do that in?
Where's the place to talk when you're going to talk?
Microphone.
Into the microphone, that's right.
But what are you not supposed to do on the show?
Talk into the microphone.
That's right.
So put the microphone back where it was.
And then when someone asks you the question, just silently look up the thing that you're
supposed to look up.
I mean, I am me, the thing that I ask for.
And then Sean and I can be the host of the show.
I'm sorry.
Right?
That feels better over here.
Anyway, who gives a shit about that movie?
Dylan's off his rocker
and we've all known that for a little while.
It's sad to see an artist like that
becoming so crazy.
To me, his concerts at this point
are less about enjoying the music
and more about trying to guess which
freaking song he's singing i mean that's what it's come to keep going well he's playing a song
and you go oh wait this is a hit famous song that i recognize only from like one of the lyrics
because the way he's playing it is so freaking cuckoo that you don't actually know it,
and the way he's singing it is so freaking cabancos
that you don't understand a lot of what the words are.
And so that's no reason to try to make Woody Allen
not make good movies anymore.
Masked and Anonymous.
Ah, yes.
We wanted to say a quick bye-bye to one of our comedy heroes and someone that we've drawn a lot of inspiration from over the years sir jason leno uh a true gentlemen of the highest degree
and
people I think
have taken pot shots
at our friend Jason
because
maybe in the past
year or two
he has
his star has faded
and maybe his material's not as sharp as it was in 2010 and in 2011.
When, if you'll recall, he was on top of the world.
And the green room of Jay Leno's show
was the hub
for all entertainment professionals.
That was the spot
if you were
anybody in the city,
you were in that green room. That's where you'd go to drink water
and eat snacks.
Pretzels.
Mini pretzels.
Just get loaded on Snyder's of Hanover pretzels.
And they would be sourdough
or they would be the long twisty kind,
the stick kind.
I mean, everything.
And never turned anyone away
as long as they were famous.
And I just remember that I would finish up,
I think during the whole time that Hayes and I were filming Hope Floats,
we would wrap the day, wash our faces,
and head straight to the Leno Green Room,
Wash our faces and head straight to the Leno Green Room.
Gobble pretzels, be doing jokes and having laughs.
With Charles Grodin.
With Burt Reynolds.
With... And Mira.
Mm-hmm.
The unnamed comic would be there.
Mm-hmm. The unnamed comic would be there. He would be there with his bag on his head and cracking us up, busting us up.
Ann Mira, Jerry Stiller.
That's where they met.
Kevin Pollack.
Kyle Kinane.
Literally, we could list names forever, but you kind of get the idea.
Minnie Driver.
Jason Ritter.
And it's tough to remember that time, the good days before it all sort of went wrong.
Mm-hmm.
When it sort of got out of control with how much people were eating and drinking in that room.
Well, especially once it came out
that bottled water is bad for the environment.
And we had just been putting this stuff away
like it was fine.
We didn't know.
This is the kind of thing that people forget.
People are angry at our generation,
but we were innocent in a way.
We were just doing what the guy next to us was doing.
And science hadn't told us yet.
And that the little bottles, we thought those were better because you're drinking less water.
But they're actually worse because it's taking four or five bottles.
Well, you need to drink more to meet your quota.
And I would go through 30 little bottles of water just during one of David Brenner's sets.
And by the time it came out, they said, well, you have to stop doing this.
We've been drinking this water for so long.
It's like, it's not easy to stop.
It's not easy to stop cold turkey, yeah.
And you wonder, like, is this water, like, why I'm good?
Yeah, you start to wonder because then you go to get on the set of Sweet Home Alabama the next day,
and you're behind the camera, you're directing, you're in front of the camera, you're acting,
and it feels a little hollow, and you go,
front of the camera you're acting and it feels a little hollow and you go is it that i need those little tiny bottles of water to really deliver the artistic goods and we found that yes it is
and it wasn't until those little bottles of bottles of water uh took owen hart from us
until we lost him to those little bottles which had made uh the wire over his wrestling ring
very slippery that uh that we had to do something about it and um get off this stuff yeah and what
i'll do sometimes too is i'll still drink them but i'll use a straw because owen's big problem
was that he was pouring it so sloppily that it got all over his feet area and it made his feet slip
and his feet went upside down and he fell.
And that really made me take a second look at the water and I still do use it to get
in the zone.
But I use it very responsibly and I put a straw through the cap.
I have Blenjamin drill a hole into the cap with a drill,
and it's just about the size of the straw, and I put a straw in through that.
Thank you, Jason, for everything.
Thank you, Jason Leno.
We got a great guest today.
Adam Devine is here from Workaholics.
Manny from Modern Family.
Manny from Modern Family.
He was in the Pitch Perfects.
Adam Devine from Adam Devine's House Party.
He's going to come and talk to us on the show.
Coming right up on Hollywood Handbook.
Peace.
Hollywood Handbook. on the show coming right up on hollywood handbook peace so um uh hey what do you call it when um henry winkler invests his money with uh bernie madoff
i don't know what uh? A Ponsies game.
Oh, wait, fuck.
Oh, well.
Hey, what up, what up?
Hey, what up, what up?
Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
We have a really great guest today.
Really good. Really exciting.
Really fun guest.
I'm excited. I'm excited.
I'm excited for this guy.
Yeah.
If you didn't recognize the voice, it's frigging Adam Devine.
He's on Workaholics.
It's Workaholics.
Okay.
And he's doing the – I'm not sure that it – well.
It is Workaholics.
It's not Workaholics, but –
Yeah. It's a fun nickname. I like Workaholics. It's not Workofholics.
It's a fun nickname.
I like Workofholics.
That's fun, but it's definitely Workaholics.
Workaholics.
Look for both.
Yes, that actually works better.
Workaholics.
Yeah, it is that.
Ideally, yes.
Laughing out loud.
You probably also recognize he's Manny on Modern Family.
Yeah.
Yes, I am.
That is true.
The character's name is Andy.
I play the Manny.
And you're a little boy.
No, I'm not a little boy.
I'm my age.
So I'm a little shorter, but totally fully grown.
And Ed O'Neill is your dad. Tell us about working on that show that managed to be so funny and so human.
It's a real human touch that they add to it.
I feel like I'm watching people.
Uh,
yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
you definitely are watching people.
Um,
same,
same thing with workaholics.
You know,
it's not animated.
Sort of.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's definitely two different shows.
Um,
but it's cool.
It's,
I mean,
a lot of people watch modern family.
Um, and it's, it's kind of cool kind of cool to have moms recognize me and stuff.
Yeah, well, we're among those people that watch it,
and we just think it's so funny and so human.
So human.
Speaking of moms, when you were filming Adam Devine's house party,
were you just so scared that your parents were going to come home and catch you?
I mean, no. party were you just so scared that your parents were going to come home and catch you uh i mean no i mean it was a tv show so like and it's fine and like i said earlier i'm not a i'm not a i'm
not a boy i'm not a little boy so like i know that i'm a little short and i have like a baby face but
i am fully grown uh i'm i'm a man and it's it's a TV show, so I wasn't scared.
Okay, that's why.
Because I'm a man too, but I think we've all had that experience.
I had it just last weekend where you're throwing a raging house party,
and you hear a car pull up, and you go, oh, no, that's my dad's home or whatever.
And you're afraid that he's going to catch you and really give you a nice whooping.
Because you made a big mess. Yeah. Because you made a big mess.
Yeah, because you made a big mess.
Sure, yeah, I get that.
Yeah, I understand that's sort of just a humanistic instinct.
And a real thing.
And also maybe a real thing, but unless you – do you live with your dad?
Do you live, like, in your dad's home?
Yeah, I mean, I have a few homes
But home base is definitely my parents house
And you're paying rent
In that situation I would 100%
100%
You're paying a ton of rent
Yes because I'm doing very well but a lot of money
And I have my own entrance
The basement is decked out
Blacklight posters
It's bitching in there
I bet it's cool
I'm not judging you I bet it's cool. I'm not judging you.
Oh, sick.
No, I bet it's sick and twisted.
Dude, you should fucking come next time I have a house party.
I'm grounded right now.
Really?
But next time, yeah.
Because it's like, you had a whole TV crew helping you clean up,
but I wasn't able to clean up that fast.
And they broke my mom's tea set.
Oh, man.
That's a real bummer.
My sister had brought her when she was on vacation in Japan.
Oh, shoot.
Yeah.
Yeah, that didn't happen on house party.
You know, everything was...
Lucky you.
Yeah, look, I mean...
Yeah, it was a set, so it didn't, you know.
But we did accidentally break this guy's piano.
Speak on that.
Well, he was really intense about us not touching his piano.
We scraped the shit out of it.
It was a $100,000 piano.
You ice skated on it?
No, it was scraped.
What?
No, why would we?
How else would you scrape it?
I think somebody sat on it and had some studs.
They fell on their skates?
No, there was no skate.
I don't think that there was a skate.
I don't think there was any skates.
Actually, I wrote it, so I'm positive.
I was there every second of every day.
Positive there was no skates.
I think somebody sat on it with like a studded butt cheek.
A beef stud sat on it. A what?
A beef stud sat on it.
A beef...
A muscular man. Oh, yeah.
A beef stud.
No, I don't know.
It could have been a chick. I think it was actually a girl
that sat on it. A muscular girl?
She wasn't that muscular.
I remember her, actually, and she wasn't that muscular.
She was kind of petite.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Mmm.
Mmm.
I love that.
Mmm.
Yeah, I like that, too.
Adam, people know you, TV actor, writer, host,
but you're also a stand-up
comedian man
and you were telling us
before the show that you're pretty nervous
that you've got a big stand-up show coming up
yeah I'm doing
a stand-up on
the new tonight show
I'm one of the very first stand-ups
I'm basically going to be the Billy Crystal
of the new tonight show you'm one of the very first stand-ups i'm basically going to be the billy crystal of the new tonight show you're opening for jimmy uh it's not yeah it's not an opening
situation i mean it's on the show he comes out does his monologue uh you know and then brings
out the first guest and they do they they go to the the stand-up and then i'm the stand-up i
haven't done stand-up in a long time because i'm uh working on workaholics and all this other stuff. So I'm a little nervous about it.
I haven't had a chance to flex my comedy dick, I think is what they say.
Yeah.
Yes, I've heard that term.
Yeah, a lot of people use that term.
Yeah, it's a good term.
Now, so this is a safe space to sort of workshop some comedy.
Hayes and I obviously have seen a lot of it, and
we have been, sort of
put our thinking caps on to help you out
and want to attack some
areas, because you see the same stuff
in stand-up, don't you? Yeah, there
are a lot of old seahorses
when it comes to stand-up comedy.
Airline food. Oh, yeah.
Seats on the airplane.
Difference between first class and the pilot seat.
That's good.
Headphones, airline headphones.
Those are good, but I feel like they're well-worn.
But what are some areas that you haven't...
They're so safe.
Yes.
What are some areas that you haven't seen stand-up about?
And we were thinking that sometimes people of different races are different.
That's pretty good.
I mean, I feel like a lot of people do jokes about that. people of different races are different. That's pretty good.
I mean, I feel like a lot of people do jokes about that.
And since I'm a white guy, also, that might not play because you're in the majority.
A lot of times you can't.
It's just sort of racist. But being a white guy, what take would you have on what a Chinese guy might act like?
I mean, obviously, I would go, but you don't do that because that's racist.
The idea.
Obviously, you go, and I would speak in Cantonese or Mandarin in a funny tone, but you can't do that.
And obviously, you do some driving jokes about how they're not good drivers, but you can't do that because that's racist so i wouldn't do that adam the idea that white people can only do
white voices and keeping the black voices separate from the white ones sure it just feels like it's
2014 it is 2014 you know well that's what I'm saying.
And now's the time when the laws of separate but equal can change and everyone can use the black voice. And the black people can use the white voice and the Chinese voice.
Everyone can use that.
And one thing that gets overlooked is that is how Chinese people talk sometimes.
Yes.
Yeah.
I don't think anyone's really overlooking that.
It's just, you know, as a Chinese, and I'm not speaking the actual word because I don't
know Cantonese or Chinese or any E's.
Yeah, that's part of what's funny about it.
Yeah, that is kind of what's funny about it.
But I don't know if that's what I'm going to do on the show with Jimmy Fallon.
Well, we've got a lot of areas.
We've got more areas.
What about...
Like a Japanese guy.
Okay.
That's interesting.
Like a samurai.
Okay.
Like a samurai.
Belouche did it.
Yeah, Belouche did it.
It's time to bring it back.
It's been a while.
Yeah, it's been too long.
That's really since they're remaking all these old movies.
I should just
start remaking old comedy bits.
Is it time for a reboot of some of the old
classic comedy bits?
I'll just do a
lot of Jamie Foxx.
Remember that when he was in Africa?
You're saying that's what Jamie Foxx sounds like?
That's not what Jamie Foxx sounds like.
And see, that's racist.
It's a comedy bit.
It's a comedy bit.
That's what he sounds like to you.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the kind of thing he should be allowed to do.
That's what he sounds like.
No, that isn't what...
And that's not racist.
It's a specific bit.
It's a specific bit.
Okay?
And I would like to...
That'd be one that I'd like to remake.
And that's not what he sounds like to me.
But if it is.
If it were.
To you.
Yeah.
Then okay, you know.
To me, I feel like he's pretty articulate.
But you made.
Yeah, it's a bit.
He's actually very smart.
Yeah, I think so.
I couldn't agree.
I couldn't agree more.
I think Jamie Foxx is a genius.
I love the guy.
Okay? I'm not saying that.
You think he's like
Coco,
the gorilla that learned all those words.
Yeah. Because you made that noise.
You made like a jungle noise.
No. Hayes, that's
you're putting
words in my mouth.
They weren't really words.
They were more like... Well, it's a jungle bit that he was doing.
And then he would go, Africa.
It's a hilarious bit that he does on one of his specials.
I don't know.
Maybe you guys aren't comedy fans.
Maybe you don't even know it.
Well, we are comedy fans,
and that's why we wanted to talk a little bit
about some other areas of comedy
that maybe you could work on on the show.
Yes. Sure. A lot of successful maybe you could work on on the show. Yes.
Sure.
A lot of successful.
I mean, I appreciate the help.
A lot of the big beef studs of comedy these days are doing impressions.
They are?
Now, what is a big good impression you could do?
Mm-hmm.
What is a big, good impression you could do?
Like a major celebrity who has like a funny voice and you could put him in like a funny situation.
Like somewhere that you wouldn't see him.
And we're thinking, of course, of Javier Bardem.
Javier Bardem.
Oh, yeah.
Javier Bardem.
Nobody's cracked it yet.
And he's just had a movie.
Mm-hmm.
You know the Javier Bardem, his like twin?
You know the guy that looks exactly like Javier Bardem that was in like Watchmen?
Do you know who I'm talking about?
That's Javier Bardem.
That is not Javier Bardem.
Is it?
Okay.
I was at some party and I see who I think is Javier Bardem.
His name is Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
That's exactly who it is.
And he came over and he was like,
I like workaholics.
And I'm like, okay, I don't know why that's spreading.
It's obviously workaholics.
And then later I was like, oh my God, I got drunk.
And I'm like, Javier Bardem is like a fan.
So I started screaming across the party,
Javier, Javier.
And I obviously can't even pronounce his name, and I'm just screaming it.
And I'm like taking my shirt off and waving it around.
I'm like, I'm a huge fan.
And so I would like to do my impression of Javier Bardem looking at me in this party situation.
What is this guy doing?
What is this guy doing over here?
Obviously, obviously, I'm not Javier Bardem.
I'm Jeff Dean Morgan.
Obviously, obviously, I am.
I don't understand.
Oh, now he's taking his shirt off.
You could say friend-o.
Hey, now he's taking it. Hey, look at say friend-o. Look at this friend-o.
Look at this friend-o.
This guy's taking his shirt off.
Wave around his head like a helicopter.
He must be a Petey Pablo fan.
Look at this.
So that is my Javier Bardem.
And I think it's pretty spot on.
If you've ever heard him talk in real life,
which I haven't, only Jeffrey Dean Morgan,
you know that it's pretty spot on.
Yeah, so that's one minute for sure that we have down.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and Jimmy loves a good impression, too.
Jimmy loves it.
I think this is really good advice.
If you can make Jimmy laugh on that show that's when you've made it
if you can go on that show
and just make him crack his whole shit up
well cause he's pretty stone faced
he's a tough laugh
I've never seen him really bus up
I've seen him smirk
and that in itself is a victory
he's smirking at you sometimes
he's smirking at the attempt
he's smirking like oh they think they can do the stand-ups.
You're trying it.
Yeah, good attempt.
Nice try.
Yeah.
And then I'll drop my Javier Bardem slash, what is it?
Jeffrey Dean Morgan?
Jeffrey Dean Morgan, yeah.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan on him, and he'll just lose his fucking mind.
Friend-o.
Oh, let's hope so.
Yeah, you've got to melt right into it. Yeah, you gotta melt right into it.
You gotta melt right into it.
How about some crowd work?
Yeah, what about doing some crowd work?
Do you ever do that?
I don't do a ton of,
I don't do, no, not really.
But I mean,
the thing is,
is I haven't done stand-up in so long
I'm willing to try anything
on national television
in front of 20 million
people. I haven't done it
enough that I might as well throw all the
old material out. This is good
for any budding stand-ups
out there. This is just good advice.
Scoop Troop, get out your pens.
So if you've
let's say you've done some stand-up
you have a pretty solid set that
you're proud of and you're doing your biggest show to date.
Guess what?
They don't want to hear the tried and true stuff.
It's going to feel rehearsed.
It's going to feel like, oh, this guy's thought of this.
He's put some thought into it.
Throw it away.
Improv the giant show.
Nothing is more frustrating than seeing a comedian
who's worked out the timing of a joke.
Mm-hmm.
And it's polished.
Oh, yeah.
And have, like, nice segues where it doesn't feel like
they're setting up for a new joke.
They just sort of go right into it.
Yeah, if it feels conversational
and sort of like you're seeing your friend on stage.
And guess what?
This isn't 2009. No, thanks. Yeah, if it feels conversational and sort of like you're seeing your friend on stage. And guess what? This isn't
2000 freaking 9.
No thanks. No thanks.
Guess what year it is? 2000 freaking...
What did we say? We said it was
14. 14.
2000 freaking 14.
We want to hear starts and stops
and we want to see you
spinning your wheels.
Danger.
It's a tightrope walking experiment.
Now, speaking of tightrope walking experiments,
let's talk about crowd work. Yeah.
We have, of course, Engineer Sam here,
and I apologize for that, how smooth that was.
It was a little too smooth for my taste.
I think you might have done this once or twice.
Don't like it.
Let's say it quick.
Scoop Troop, you can put your pens away.
What a hot, steamy scoop you just got,
and what a really helpful thing.
The primary purpose of this show is to educate Adam,
and we really appreciate that.
Hey, I'm happy to be here.
Team come.
Team come.
We've got Engineer Sam here for you to just basically light up with some crowd work right now.
So he's here to ask questions, too.
And you can get his responses and just kind of play off those about what's shitty and weird about him.
Okay.
Look at this guy.
Well, I don't know.
I'm going to do, like we said earlier, I can't do my normal voice.
People will expect that from me.
If I do Jeffrey Dean Morgan slash Javier Bardem.
Yeah, that seems stronger.
It seems like a stronger choice. And it is.
It's a strong choice.
Scoop Troop, sorry, I know you
just put the caps back on. Get your pens back out.
Take them back out. You're going to want to write
this down. Excuse me.
Look at this. Look at this guy right
here. Hey, friendos. Look at this guy right here.
What is that?
Hooded sweatshirt all
purpley. What kind of hooded sweatshirt? Where'd you get that hooded sweatshirt all purpley.
What kind of hooded sweatshirt?
Where'd you get that hooded sweatshirt from?
American Apparel.
American Apparel.
More like Canadian Apparel because you look like you're not from this country.
And that's a slam. And that's a slam because people from america they don't like they don't like to
be told they're not from here or they're dressed like they're from canada so that is a heat rock
of a slam that i just freaking threw at the earth earth left a crater a huge smoldering crater with
that heat rock oh friend oh uh what you you got a uh um uh what you got a pinky ring, I see.
Are you a villain?
No, it's my dad.
Was your dad, was he a villain?
No, he just passed away recently and left it.
Oh, did he?
Oh, did he, um, uh, uh, friendo, uh, what's with your hair all swooshed to the side over there like that?
It's all, it's all whoosh.
It's, uh, you're looking like a uh like you're the son of a villain i think it just got smushed down in the motorcycle helmet i'm done with you and see that's what you
do you listen to them you're in shut them down you're in control of the situation meanwhile
jimmy's over there freaking he got up out of his seat, laid on the couch, and is freaking smirking so hard.
And you're ready to see him laugh.
He's not yet.
He's kicking his feet in the air, but just smirking.
He's doing like bicycles.
Yeah, he's doing bicycle kicks in the air, laying on his back on the couch.
Freaking Reese Witherspoon is freaking petting his mane, going, calm down, Jimmy.
It's going to be okay.
He's not laughing yet.
He's not laughing yet until I call this guy a villain one last time as I'm ending my set.
And I'm like, oh, thank you, everybody, for coming out here tonight.
Thank you, Jimmy, for bringing me out.
And let's give it up for the villain.
And then I just back away from the mic.
He loses it.
I'm feeling pretty good about this set right now.
Yeah.
That seems really good, and it's nice.
And the villain feels okay, too.
And you go up with the villain.
A lot of people want to go, like, villain,
and you go down with it.
I find when you're throwing heat rocks,
when you're throwing a heat rock,
it's good to go up on the word that you say.
I mean, it doesn't need to be villain.
It could be anything. It could be like,
look at this guy over here looking like
he eats sandwiches.
You go up on the
sandwiches, gets people
laughing. Yeah, that took me somewhere.
And Scoop Troop,
go ahead and put the cast back on. I think we're done with that.
Maybe leave it over your ear, Scoop Troop,
that pen, just in case you need to grab it quickly yeah like for example if we were to reach into the
popcorn gallery which i think we should do right now yeah and should we quickly just have sam
apologize to adam he was being kind of difficult during that crowd work section i guess we could
do that now sure i apologize well first apologize for trying to talk without your microphone on.
I'm sorry.
This is not a good use of time on the show.
I apologize.
I wasn't trying to be rude or anything.
I was just trying to answer him accurately.
Fuck you, Sam.
That's better.
Now, let's reach into the popcorn gallery.
Adam, this is a segment we do on the show where, unfortunately, some people who live in a bunch of the shitty states of the country, places like Wisconsin or Idaho or some bullshit, don't have access to all the famous friendos that we have.
And they can't ask them questions.
And so we let them ask through us.
And peanut gallery is an expression, but we all do movies.
Sure, when you go to the movies, what do you like to eat sometimes?
Sometimes Red Vines.
Okay, that's right.
Yep, but at the same time, popcorn, the name of the segment is Popcorn Gallery,
so we're thinking more along the lines of a fluffy snack
yes
those aren't
fluffy to me
they're mushy
oh oh oh
those little
dibs I think they're called
those are all in the candy area
and this is a different kind of food
it's behind them it's in a big machine, and it's hot, buttery, warm.
Popcorn.
Okay.
So let's reach into the dibs gallery.
You've got me doing it now.
Let's reach into the popcorn gallery.
Let's reach into the popcorn bag and pull out a question.
Om, yum. Oh, mouthful. this question is from doctor doctopus and he asks adam what's your pain threshold
uh it's like a it's like an um out of 100 or out of out of 10 are we doing it numerical or is it
let's do it out of 10, but you can use decimal points.
Okay. It's like an 8.3,
I would say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm really,
I'm really, really,
really strong.
And so sometimes
it takes a lot
to get through the muscles
because my muscles don't feel pain to the actual parts that will hurt me.
The pain receptors.
The pain receptors.
So if a nail is piercing you, you wouldn't even feel it.
I wouldn't feel it until it gets through the seven inches of lats.
Well, I one time saw you lean against a stove, a hot stove, for a full minute and a half.
Yeah, I couldn't feel it.
Couldn't feel it.
Yeah, you wound up smelling it.
Yeah.
And that's 8.3. Imagine my buddy Chad. He's like a half. Yeah, I couldn't feel it. Couldn't feel it. Yeah, you wound up smelling it. Yeah, and that's 8.3.
Imagine my buddy Chad.
He's like a 9.4.
Yeah, my buddy Chad is, so he just doesn't even feel
pain.
We have to have
Chad on sometime. We've been saying that.
I'll bring Chad around.
Here's a question.
If we reach into the popcorn bag one more time and we pull it out.
I reach right through the bottom.
Oh, the popcorn's all getting out.
Ah, one piece left.
This question is from Dr. Balls.
And Dr. Balls asks, Adam, where do you get all those wonderful toys?
All the toys, usually I go to stores for them a lot of times i'll go on
amazon prime and i'll just like a drone will just come and just drop it off and i'm like i'm gonna
steal that drone i'm gonna steal this drone and then i don't because i'm not a thief so lesson
learned for all the people that don't live in uh with drones quite yet, a lot of the browner states, when you're flying and they look so brown, and you're like, what's down there?
People that live there might not know about the drones.
But here in California, I'm looking out the window right now.
It's just drone city, baby.
It's really exciting time.
It's like Minority Report in this bitch.
That's how you get downtown.
You're the fastest way to get downtown now.
You hire four drones
just to pick up each
limb and they just haul your
ass to Staples Center so you can see
freaking
LeBron James
and
freaking Lawrence Fishburne
go at it head to head in a battle of the Grammys.
Yeah, they boxed at the Grammys.
Yeah, at the Grammys slash ESPYs.
It's a combined thing now.
They did them both.
All right.
Let's look back on the popcorn bag.
I think there might be one more question in there.
Okay. in there okay this is a question from our listener chanson and he asks adam fuck marry kill uh fuck totally speak on that uh i'm i i don't want to get married quite yet i think i'm a little
young uh to get married You're a little boy.
I'm not a little boy.
We established that I'm a man who likes to fuck.
And so I'm into that.
I'm really into that.
So that's what I'm about.
And killing, I've only done that a few times.
It's not for me.
Sometimes animals have to die.
Sometimes animals have to die.
But that's not what I'm about.
Speak on that.
They said something bad to you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, sometimes you're walking down the street and you see a pigeon and he turns around
and he says some derogatory comments about my shoes.
And I'm like, I will fucking stomp you into the earth, pigeon.
Oh, so the very shoes that he insulted are his undoing.
I'll come back to get them.
Oh, that seems justified.
Yeah.
Good show as well
if you should check it out
and we're sorry for using
to our listeners
we're sorry for using
so many chants and questions
over the last few weeks
we don't like it either
giving a lot of money
for the show
but we don't like it
any more than you do
no
plugs
yeah
plug it
thank you so much for coming
is there anything
you want to plug
or talk about
that you have coming up that our listeners should be aware of?
Yeah, actually.
I'm doing a – it's really cool.
It's a show on Animal Planet, believe it or not.
I believe it.
It's produced by the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman.
So RIP.
RIP.
We called him Hoffdog.
We were really close.
Because of all the animal stuff.
Because the animals were around.
Yeah, there's a lot of the animals.
And it's starring me and my dad.
And we're bass fishermen.
And it's called My Dad is a Giant Black Man.
My dad is a giant black man. My dad is a giant black man.
Yeah.
It's called that?
No, he is actually my dad.
I'm half African American.
You said it was called that.
No, well, it's called, sorry, I'm sorry.
It's called Let Me See That Bass.
So it's a funny play on words where you think it's ass.
And he wears, my dad wears a giant purple suit.
It's fun.
It's a real fun.
And it's fun because it's not racist.
It's like we're all there for a good time.
That's so important these days.
It's not being racist and being there to have a good time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope they find the guy that did that to Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I hope so too.
I was hoping
that we could
thank one of our donors
who bought the pro version
this week.
Yes, that's right.
We have one of our donors
who bought the pro version.
Dan Klemkoski
is his name.
He gave a very generous donation
to the pro version.
I thought it would be fun for the ProVersion Prize this week for Adam to do some crowd work based on Dan Klemkoski's address.
This is 6180 Carvel Avenue?
Carvel.
Carvel.
Carvel.
Okay.
Look at this name right here.
Is this even a name?
Dan Klimkowski.
That doesn't even seem, what are you, a villain?
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
And thanks for everyone for rating us on iTunes and talking to us on the forums.
Liking the Facebook page and everything about it.
Yeah.
And for buying the pro version every week.
And thanks to Engineer Sam if you can stick around after this.
And we'll continue the conversation that we were having earlier earlier and we'll figure some things out for future weeks.
Really get to the bottom of this if there's going to be any future weeks and how that would have to look.
Well, sound, right?
Bye.
Bye, guys.
This has been an Earwolf Media Production Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman
For more information visit Earwolf.com
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