Hollywood Handbook - Amanda Lund and Maria Blasucci, Our Podcast Friends
Episode Date: July 11, 2023The Boys welcome back AMANDA LUND and MARIA BLASUCCI to check in on their podcast Hollyhand.Watch the video of today’s episode with Amanda and Maria at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Lik...e the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast. No, I don't know what the process is. What I was going to say, and we can plug this in after if you decide that you'd rather start it,
is I would say, it's so good to see you both.
I wish it happened more often.
That's a great way to start.
I also wish it was happening under better circumstances or for a better reason
than what we have to deal with and unpack today.
Let me see.
I'm very curious, I guess, if you all have anything,
like your sort of take on this, like your side of it.
Yeah, how do you feel like it's been going?
Well, I'll just jump in.
This is Amanda Lund amanda speaking now because i was expecting perhaps an intro but yeah yeah well this is what's so confusing is like how
like uh i didn't want to presume i get it sean you're like what like, what am I going to say, right? How do I interest someone who's literally done nothing?
I could.
That's exactly.
No.
So that's.
You actually took the words right out of my mouth.
And like for Sean to say as well, we're like.
I guess it would help to use like objective numbers like to start with that.
Kevin, when did we last have them on the
show 22 22 so you're here on 22 right and in that conversation it's now at least 23 we hammered out
and like put a lot of uh time energy into working on a deal for the two of you.
A lot of care into making a deal that I thought everyone walked away happy with.
Yes.
Where you would now be hosting the show.
Yes.
I remember that because we kind of had.
It's so nice to hear that you remember that.
That is a huge relief.
Can you say your name?
If you could say your name as well. I maria plasucci okay great and we had
delineated kind of two shows remember it was holly hand and woodbook do you remember and then holly
hand was amanda and i was we're gonna do like that version of the show and then you guys were
gonna take over woodbook we were gonna be doing woodbook okay so um so i'll just ask again
how do you feel that holly hand has been going great i mean we've been doing it pretty regularly
i'd say probably almost every day yeah okay we saw you and the numbers are through the roof
the numbers are good okay okay this is this i'm i'm really glad we're having this
conversation my impression of what's been happening just from my end my experience
is that youtube and total fucking no shows yeah and like as we in a very important moment for us
as we were like pitching this new diversification of our show we were looking to a
new network we were trying to find a new family we needed new ad sales team and we needed to
really put our best foot forward and what we got from our partners in this was in our estimation
and i'm happy to be wrong about this but what it felt like we were getting was absolute dick yes okay well that's kind of insane to hear because we had why we're having
this conversation we had emailed you guys okay and like i've got receipts okay let's if you want
to see let's look at the email because like as far as we're concerned not only have you not been
showing up people have been hating it.
Yes, they've been pissed that we are still hosting the only version of the show that they seem to be aware of.
Now, if you've courted some separate fan base and there's some way that I could access the material that's been recorded. Because you said you've been doing the show almost every day.
Have you been recording and releasing the show?
To certain people with certain access, yes.
Okay, that's basically what we do too.
So we're all on the same page about that.
It's similar, it's similar.
We have at times almost felt like we need to step back in on this,
not something we ever wanted to do.
We wanted to let you spread your wings creatively,
like launch your own thing. I hate to micromanage like the reason we brought you in is we we're fans like we think you're both so talented
and it felt like okay great like we can now use this thing we built whatever it is to help launch
and expose even more people to you know Holly
Hand which I thought was going to be
huge but this has been
sort of the dynamic where it's basically like
what just happened which is like Sean said
we're big fans of you all
you literally say nothing back
I yeah we gotta thank you
we say thank you yeah exactly
no we think that you guys are really
cool and like we Amanda I don, I want to speak for you,
but I appreciate kind of stuff that you guys do.
I mean, we wouldn't have taken on this new show opportunity
if we weren't fans,
but we have been doing it every day for a select audience
as Maria was trying to explain.
Is it almost every day or every day?
Yeah.
It's every day, except we did take off Christmas.
Just Christmas Day, Christmas Eve.
Seems like a pretty amazing day to do like a special episode.
Holly is in the title.
Well, we took the entire month of December to talk about it,
but we did let our audience know.
We said on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day,
we won't be doing it.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Well, we did an abridged christmas eve episode more like
a check-in and it was kind of we did one present each we we both went to uh our respective christmas
trees each picked a gift and opened to unwrapped it and it was really fun and we kind of did like
a live call-in thing too and there's a video aspect now like i know you guys check in where
you each open i sorry yeah yeah we we want We each open a gift. We want to be clear on what we missed.
It was just a check-in episode.
You each open one present.
One gift.
There was a call-in aspect as well, and it was on video.
What is so funny?
But that's just a base level for us.
This is a video call-in episode where you each open one gift.
But there was no guest.
It's a check-in on Christmas Eve. There was no each open one gift. But there was no guest.
And it's a check-in on Christmas Eve.
There was no guest for that one. Like, we normally have a guest.
Yeah.
Okay.
We had a guest booked, but they weren't able to make it.
Yeah.
Santa Claus.
And so this is, you booked Santa Claus?
Yeah, but he had double, yeah, he had double booked.
And you had, yeah, presumably you had been so naughty also that he was not willing to stop.
He didn't say.
The booking, the fact that you have been doing this somewhere else again that's why i'm really glad
we're having this conversation because like we have of course like booked a lot of episodes that
you have not shown up to we have had to show up for some sometimes none of us are there we've had
get we had like thomas lennon come in just be completely by himself no engineers no like no you know us
he just ended up calling like like a cousin that he hadn't talked to for like a really long time
and like and just sort of catching up with them and right we released that like that's not good
it's really he's like a really funny guy but that was not funny or even interesting at all. Well, his cousin turned out to be going through a really difficult.
Yes.
Difficult, but also very boring in a way.
Cousins can be so hard when you start trying to sort of make them into something that they're not.
Yeah.
His cousin, I mean, he said he just kept saying, I don't like my house.
But he wouldn't say why and it was like i thought like
oh is there like marriage trouble or are they like you know like maybe um having trouble like
paying their mortgage or is there some financial difficulty is there something going on here
and it was just like i really don't i thomas it's this is dire i do not like this house. Oh, simply too small, perhaps.
Again, that would have been such a relief
to hear like, I need a bigger space.
And Thomas would go like,
okay, is it the decor?
Is there something that he'd be like,
I don't even know if that would help.
And it's like, if changing it would help,
like it just was a bad conversation.
Sure.
You know, that doesn't happen on Holly hand.
We kind of are able to just maneuver.
Well, it did.
It did happen on Holly and as far as we know, one of the only things that has, we are not
part of the select audience, I guess, that you have been releasing this to maybe part
of this discussion could be.
We'd like to hear it too well yeah but
you need the code yeah okay there's a code there's a pay and to get the code you do have to pay
okay that seems great it seems like a great like model people are paying and they're getting people
are paying i mean we both are we're doing really well you You're rich. Yeah. I wouldn't, we don't say rich, but we say we're doing well.
Very comfortable.
Comfortable, yes.
Not rich, but you're comfortable.
Yeah, I mean, look at us, right?
Yeah.
We look comfortable.
Fish don't know they're wet.
That's right.
Right?
Well.
Yes.
Okay, so there's a code.
Yeah.
You released it to us.
What guests, I guess, have you...
Yeah, who's been on?
I know Santa bailed on you, but like what?
Well, Santa was like, you know, a low tier guest.
Like he would be kind of C-list.
Wow.
I think of him as so famous.
Like that would be really big for us.
But that's great.
That's awesome.
Like we just had Ben Stiller. We had Ben Stiller on a couple weeks ago. Oh But that's great. Yeah. That's awesome. Like we just had Ben Stiller.
We had Ben Stiller
on a couple weeks ago.
Oh amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't consider him
as famous as Santa.
We had Ben Stiller too.
I'd rather not.
I'd rather not.
Yeah.
We had Ben on
I think in
January.
When did you guys
have him on?
Yeah when did you
have him on?
We had him
it was for our
like 500th episode.
It was a couple months ago.
Yeah, it's crazy because we do it every day.
We actually are in the thousands of episodes.
So he was on for our thousands.
Okay, so that was at least a milestone for you.
Since 22, when you were here, I don't know that there have been a thousand days.
We do multiple.
No, we do multiple a day.
Sometimes we'll do six or seven in a day.
And sometimes the episodes are so good,
it's more like a couple episodes.
You know what I mean?
Can we do that, Kevin?
Can we start counting episodes?
If we do a really good one, can we count it as...
How many do you count it as?
Two or three?
It just depends on how good it is
and how poppin' our charisma is.
Okay.
The charisma's poppin'.
What's the most that an episode has ever been?
Yeah, I'd like to hear that one if possible.
I'll buy the code.
I haven't seen any promotion for the code.
I follow you on social media.
It's more word of mouth.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have to verbally give you the code through my mouth.
Okay. And so it only can happen under the right circumstances. Yeah. Yeah. Like I have to verbally give you the code through my mouth. Okay.
And so it only can happen under the right circumstances.
Okay.
Okay.
I want to return to my, to my question.
What is the most episodes?
We've done.
Yeah.
We've done.
I think, I think back in March and Amanda, I could be wrong.
We did 26 episodes in one episode.
In one episode. Yeah.
One episode.
Uh-huh.
Okay. So many. And that was and that was i'm gonna that is
not normal i'm not gonna say like that's a normal thing but that was what's the most ever that was
yeah it has to be an outlier everything and that was so much fun that was truly so fun who was the
guest sounds like charisma was popping well the charisma was popping john krasinski was the guest
john krasinski you know how john krasinski six foot guest. John Krasinski. John Krasinski. You know how John is. You got John Krasinski.
Yes, you know how.
Six foot four, 220 pounds of solid muscle and weapons trained.
Yes, yes.
It was so much fun.
And dude is in the room.
Fuck, man.
It was, he was making us roll.
Yeah.
It was fun.
It was, it was just.
Like as part of his training, like showing you how he trains and stuff. Yeah, we talked a lot about it. He was, it was just. Like as part of his, his training, like showing you how to train.
Yeah.
We talked a lot about,
he talked a lot about it.
And then we talked,
and then we talked a lot about our careers.
He was super interested in our careers too,
which was so refreshing.
Yeah.
And he wanted to know about the process,
which was crazy.
Not everyone can handle it.
Yeah.
26 episodes in one,
was it 13 hours?
Amanda.
That is so funny.
Amanda,
remember what he said?
He said that a lot of people make those kinds of jokes. And so. That's right. That is right he said that a lot of people make those kinds of jokes and so
that's right that is right he said a lot of people make a lot wait a second
he said a lot of people make the kind of joke where like they're given an amount of time of 26
episodes yeah and they make the connection to a movie that he was in called 13 Hours.
Yeah.
This is like each episode was about a half hour long.
A lot of people make that joke.
He said a lot of people do that.
That's what he said.
It seems like such a cosmic alignment to create a joke like that.
Yeah.
And that happens to him a lot.
Yeah. I almost didn't him a lot. Yeah.
Yeah.
I almost didn't think of it
and then I almost didn't say it
when I thought of it.
So the idea that
So even that one
almost didn't happen.
So the idea that
that many people
wow.
Yeah.
You had to kind of
listen to it.
Yeah.
It's so
and there's hidden messages
in it too.
Like there's a lot of like
Easter eggs and stuff
to other episodes and like it's itter eggs and stuff to other episodes and
like it's it's really intricate yeah even really intricate episode we've never been able to really
nail one of those down yeah a callback yeah but it also when we have tried to do something like
that where even we did like sometimes we'll try to do an episode where the entire premise is just
in reference to like a moment from a prior episode yes and it diminishes
the popularity of our show yes i guess you're not happening to you guys hollywood handbook
this week on the patreon sean talks to dominic durkis about the movie the tv set on his new
podcast subtitles on the boys rank classic cars on the pro version and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video of today's episode with Amanda and Maria at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.
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by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know
by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses
oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything
from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah
and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry
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by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com
slash the boys hollywood handbook um so what i yeah i'm a little bit on my heels
I can sense a little bit of tension
like you think that we're somehow in the wrong
well I came in here like unbelievably
pissed off
I was
but I emailed
I did email you
this is what I am unclear on too
what did the email say
you took your phone out and then you looked at it you said I have receipts and you started to open your phone and then nothing happened so i'm not gonna
like be the dope over here like hey hey she's got really good social like understand amanda that's
one thing i'll say about amanda is she kind of high eq yeah she understands emotionally what's
going on in a room i didn't think you guys were ready for it. Maybe not. Because I was in here prepared to really be like
stomping around.
Oh yeah. This table was
history.
What I was going to do to this
table,
I was really planning on some
aggressive stuff.
We could sense it
coming in and that's why immediately
we wanted to diffuse.
I was going to scratch that table up.
I mean, I was just going to be just raking my sort of crooked fingers over the surface of this table because I was so upset.
And now I'm upset in a different way.
God, it almost seems like an ambush.
It almost seems like you kind of invited us to ambush us
in a way if you were that angry.
I don't really consider,
had this played out the way we thought it did,
to make a deal with someone for them to do a job
and then they never do it.
And then you have a conversation with them about it.
I don't think that's an ambush.
But like how many opportunities did you guys have to reach out to us personally,
like responding to my email that I sent?
Okay, well, the phone has gone away.
The phone once again disappeared without the email being revealed.
I've never seen the email.
Every time I take it out, it's like you don't want to hear the email
and that's why I'm kind of gleaning.
All he was saying was that he was going to scratch the table with his crooked
fingers.
I was going to rake my crooked
fingers over the surface of the table.
So your
EQ told you at that point,
okay, now's not the time to read
an email. But I'm saying that's no longer
in the, like I'm not going to do that
this episode i hope
i don't think because apparently i've misunderstood what was happening this entire time and there's
actually been uh episodes being made thousands of them sometimes 26 in one day or one episode
and i missed an email or an email allowing for human error was addressed incorrectly and so
i i wasn't able to um see it and respond and so i'd love to like hear what the email said okay
well i've got my phone here and if no one interrupts me i'll be able to read it okay so
um it's two let's all be quiet.
Okay.
To SeanHayes at gmail.com Maria and I
are getting started with our
new podcast. We've got a
recording coming up this Thursday.
We're super excited about our
guest.
Amy. Are you having trouble?
Amy? Yeah. Amy was on? having trouble? Amy? Yeah.
Amy was on?
On the first episode?
Give us a ring and we'll
figure it out.
And then that was sent like
The pause between our
guest and Amy
was so long.
Was there a format thing
happening?
Was the guest sent with invisible ink? It was so long. Was there a format thing happening? A paragraph break?
Was the guest sent with invisible ink?
I didn't want to say her name because for her privacy.
Okay.
Yeah.
And you haven't given out the code.
Right.
We need the code to find out which Amy.
Yeah. And if you want to know, yeah, you just need the code.
And that was our first episode.
And there's like five prominent Amy's kind of in the business.
And so you could take your pick as to who you think,
but it was,
it's the,
it's the,
it's the,
yeah,
I was insane.
Yeah.
I was like,
because we were like,
could we get Amy?
And then we were like,
let's just email her.
Let's see.
And like,
we had mutual friends and racing through my mind.
Yeah.
So amazing. Amy's everything you think about, you know, just forget it. see and like we had mutual friends and he's racing through my mind yeah so amazing everything
you think about you know about me mad again just forget it but maybe that's just because i'm mad
again about to rake my crooked figures over i'm about to aim these crooked figures at the top of
that table yeah so i'm curious about, I understand the code of it all,
but, like, distribution channels, like, how and where, like,
the payments are coming in, like.
It's personal.
It's all personal Venmo account.
We're just doing it through.
We want to take out the, you know, there's, like, the middleman is Venmo.
Like, I get that.
But we want to take out the even more middleman that would be like you know we just we want it going directly into our bank accounts essentially
we have our created our own platform yeah okay does it have anything to do with us i mean it
felt like initially it would have something to do with us your names are on the website
there's a special thanks kind of page to you guys i need a code to see the website yeah there's like a link what's the website for that's going to come with the code okay and is
it showing is that where people can can see the the video or and like and listen to yes
yes okay i really thought you said no no i think i said i think i said yes but if i said no i mean
that's all part of the...
We're also through this episode.
We've told our listeners, Paul and Anne.
Well, I heard her say, I know.
You heard her say, I know?
Yeah.
Okay.
I heard Amanda say yes.
I guess that's how they do multiple episodes in one episode.
It's like say different things at the same time.
Well, they can roll back the tape.
They can see what really happened.
I don't even know if they can do that here.
I mean, the financial situation here is so dire
because of some of the stuff that we've been talking about.
Yeah.
Well, our listeners are really big fans of you guys,
if that's any consolation.
I mean, they just speak the world of you guys.
I guess.
But it just seems like no one has let us know
that it was happening in any way.
So, like, why was this kept such a secret from us?
And, like, yeah, I remember you reading that email to me.
And that is not our email address.
Like, he does send it along to us, to us. So we should have gotten that.
That should have been forwarded from Sean Hayes.
But it does also feel like you knew that wasn't our email
and you were trying to get in on some of this.
I just think you guys are thinking the worst of us.
And we're telling you, we went over leaps and bounds to let, as Amanda said, we sent this email to you about Amy.
And you've got a special thanks page on the website.
I mean, I don't understand.
If you guys can let us know what we could have done, of course, we'll take responsibility.
But as I'm seeing it, I'm going, okay, well, we crossed our T's here.
take responsibility but as i'm seeing it where i'm going okay well we crossed our t's here i was picturing i guess that we would be and i understand about the email i don't need to be
shown the phone that we would be in constant communication and like you would do an episode
we would do an episode and maybe like once every couple weeks we do some kind of check-in family
episode kind of where it's like just us right and i thought we'd have lunch
sometimes and just sort of talk about like how the different shows are going or ways to collaborate
and you know we could cry like mix and match like the host combinations and like i just thought it
would be like this really sweet kind of appetizers and stuff too like when we're at lunch what's
happening is we are hemorrhaging subscribers we're losing a lot
like listeners
our kids are all
in really big trouble
yeah
yeah
we
I
and I wonder
if they're going
straight to you all
because like
when they unsubscribe
from our Patreon
they're supposed to
give a reason
yeah
and that
they're all writing
like no reason
right
like in this
like in this voice.
It's very coy.
I don't know how I'm even hearing the voice.
No reason.
Yes, exactly.
Oh, no reason.
It could be.
Okay.
So it sounds like it is.
They're just going straight over there.
And that's how they're fans of us from previously being subscribed to.
And like there's no provision on our website that
says you can't also listen to the original podcast i mean it's sort of understood that you don't do
that a lot of people choose not to just because they're so satiated by our version that it's kind
of like they would come back listen sort of like can i hear anything can i hear any of what has
been recorded it sounds like there's an awful lot of podcasts that's been made by you too
i'm a fan of the genre um is there any kind of sample or anything even a reenactment yeah
something that would have happened on an episode just so I can get a sense of what's been going on. Sure. Okay.
Sure. Yeah. We can do a little something.
What's coming to mind first is
April of this year, Amanda.
Yeah. Oh my gosh.
It was April. The month is
like funny. Well, there was a lot
happening in April, but there was one thing that
happened in April. That was April
15th. Yes.
And it was
the funniest thing.
Well, that's the thing.
I remember because that day for me was really bad.
We were really on edge.
That was why it was kind of so great.
We were underslept and overworked.
And we just decided to kind of turn off.
We met each other at Amanda's house.
We turned off all the lights.
We went in her closet.
And we just kind of did
like a little seance um and we actually you got a guest that way like yes oh okay it was crazy it
was so crazy um let's just say we got someone on the podcast yeah um no but this is someone who has
all of the insider secrets yes oh wow they, wow. And they've never spilled the beans
except they came back and they said,
okay, well, here we are.
Do we need one of that,
like if we're reenacting it,
do we need one of them
to like play who this guest is?
Yeah, if we're going to like get a,
is it, would it make sense for Kevin
or Casey to be this guest?
I mean, I think they could do that.
I mean, yeah, let's do it.
I mean, there's a chance.
Have you heard the podcast that they've been recording?
Do you have the code?
Yeah.
Casey gave it to me.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're both subscribed.
Yeah.
I don't think Casey would give it up.
They're gold members.
They're both gold members, which is not the top tier.
Well, that's awesome.
That's so funny. You They're gold members. They're both gold members, which is not the top tier. Well, that's awesome. That's so funny.
You call them gold members?
Well, that's not even the top tier, though.
No, but it's more of the way we do it.
It's not like a monthly, oh, $10 a month.
It's more like you're going to give a tithing.
So it's more of like a 10% of your overall income for the year.
And it's in perpetuity, too.
So once you sign up, no matter what you make,
you will always give that.
Right.
Wow.
Yeah.
So if you make nothing, make $0, pay $0,
make $500,000, you're paying $50,000.
So not only are subscribers being siphoned out of our show the exorbitant salary that we pay kevin
is also being given to you i didn't even think of it like that in some percentage 10 i think
is what kevin gives us okay yeah wow wow and that includes any under the table money, babysitting.
Mostly babysitting.
Yeah.
Kevin's babysitting money is going.
Kevin is paying you to babysit.
No, Kevin's paying them 10% of his babysitting money.
Oh, all of your babysitting.
10% of all.
10% of all of your babysitting money and all your other money.
Yeah.
And when he babysits for me, I wave it.
Cause that just feels wrong.
Which is nice.
Yeah.
He's able to claim those hours against his podcast fees.
Okay.
Did you guys like that April 15th episode?
Wasn't that just crazy?
That was crazy.
Isn't it crazy?
Yeah.
Really good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Casey said it was really good.
Well,
then if you've heard it,
then it should be easy for,
for both of you to reenact it.
The guest portion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, because I'm curious now,
like this person is spilling all the tea.
It's a really famous guest who I guess had died at some point,
but came back.
That's funny.
They shared all their secrets.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
So, I guess I'd love to hear a little bit of what that was like.
Yeah.
If you could play a clip or if you'd rather yeah well the thing is because they were a specter the audio wasn't great it was phil specter
you know that's not who it was yes and you're seeing he's raking the table now, but he's doing a verbal rake.
Okay, he doesn't.
Raking the table with Sean's fingers.
John Krasinski said a lot of people make that joke whenever he.
With his crooked fingers.
Okay, it's just getting downright dirty in here.
Yeah, I feel attacked.
Can we just reset?
Amanda, do you feel attacked?
Yes, I feel attacked.
Well, if it's not Phil Spector.
I feel a lack of tact.
I feel an absence of tact on your part in the way that you have handled.
Well, we come in here.
We come in here.
We think we're having like a regular like interview.
And all of a sudden we have to defend ourselves.
I mean, I feel like I'm in a court of law, you know, and I would have brought a lawyer or something because I do.
I feel like you guys are like about to serve us with papers or something you have a lawyer we have multiple lawyer we
didn't until we started hollyhand and now we have an entire team now you have a whole team of lawyers
that's not good for us i guess that's good for us because i was gonna email all over again because
i want to figure out i want to know know who the ghost is. I know.
And it's like, I guess this is what makes a good show.
I really do want to hear what is happening on the show.
I'm locked in.
There's something coming and I just cannot rest until I find out what it is.
I want to hear their secrets.
Well, I think a big reason that we were excited to come here today is because we were excited.
Yeah, of course.
We love doing this.
I mean, that's why we wanted to do Holly Hand.
But would you two, and this is something that you don't have to answer today, but something to consider, would you two be willing to sell us your share of the podcast?
be willing to sell us your share of the podcast so you're in a position where your stake of it has grown so much that you are ready to make an offer on our majority shareholder and this is more
this is more of like a gracious thing because in all honesty we can buy you without your permission and that's
kind of this is us being kind this is like the email you know all over again it's a courtesy
okay because we don't want to burn any bridges we understand you know you we couldn't have come to
this point without you guys but at the same time you sort of did yeah and we're ready just sort of like cut cut the dead
weight a little bit yeah and that's you know yeah well that that was sorry rephrase it amanda
because that's gonna okay sorry it's like a well i was just gonna say it's like
let me just i want i want to laugh too
like I want to be laughing
that's like my favorite part of the show is when we all
get to laugh you know when something funny
is happening okay I just say it's kind of like
you guys are just like two little danglers
yeah kind of like
do you know when bugs fly
and their legs kind of hang like wasps
they're not using them right now
yes like the wasp is flying but the two little legs are kind of hanging there.
Yes, weighing them down.
So if you cut the legs,
you sever the leg,
they fly, they never have to land again.
They just fly for the remainder of their life.
No, that's not their goal.
But that's the metaphor, isn't it?
But that's the metaphor.
It's a terrible metaphor.
They wouldn't like it.
So you're talking about torturing a living creature.
It's nice to have the danglers.
I don't know.
You want the danglers.
You do want them.
You might.
I mean, we don't.
It's good.
You don't always know when you're mid-flight.
You might not realize why they're important.
But at some point, pal, and we found this a lot.
We've been doing this show a
long time at some point you land and it can be a little bumpy this would have been amazing when we
had the guy who played lieutenant dangler on this show and instead of instead he called his cousin
freaking cousin the entire time we already had an entire show about that that we used to have
we had a show where somebody calls their cousin and they would talk about like topics things they watched you know music this was literally just
a guy who's like saying he doesn't like his house and not saying why and then he's going hang on i'm
gonna go in the other room and just see something and not bring the phone with him put the phone down
and you hear footsteps and then you hear him go oh man and then like come back pick it up and go
like yeah i mean it's the same i was just in the other room it's i just am not crazy about this
place it's just a bad cousin you start to understand why thomas hadn't called him in so long yeah but i want to know who the seance
summoned like that's something that's really can we just hear it please you want to hear like that
well then this would actually help inform my decision because like yes obviously i need money
so bad like i really want it if you can buy it i mean i'm be i'm you didn't mention i'm very
nervous about what you think it's worth
yes like but oh yeah yeah i did say the word buy i think which makes me think that hopefully there's
like some amount of money obviously you're getting 10 of all these people's salaries i'm gonna show
you okay the phone is out again okay but i've been i've been burned before on that. Yeah. Sometimes just goes away.
Okay.
She did something.
Now she's showing Sean.
I'm very open to this offer.
I'm very open to this offer.
I assume you're showing it to me because you don't want me to say it out loud.
But what I'll say is that.
Did she put a number in her calculator?
Amanda entered a number in her calculator.
She's showing to us a lot.
And I will say that I'm surprised and flattered at how high the number is.
And I don't want to hurt myself in the negotiation at all.
But if there's a contract, I'll sign it right now.
I think as valuable as the show is to me, there's a lot of sentimental value.
And I do think this number accounts for it.
I'm looking at it again.
And it is $520 million, $125,289.
$225,289.
So I was going to say it has to be over $500 million,
but I was expecting to land somewhere closer to $485 million.
But that's the thing.
This is like you guys, we come in here.
It must be like having all that money.
You just laugh all the time. Yeah, you just laugh and laugh. Because it's so easy to buy.
Yeah, we do.
You know, a show.
Because we think we want something and we're able to get it.
We're able to kind of accumulate happiness through the things we have.
And, you know, we come in here and you guys are all like mean to us or whatever.
Not to use like a term that maybe you wouldn't agree with.
But then we show you that number, you know.
And it's like, okay.
I will say the term I would use is frustrated. Okay. So you were frustrated. but then we show you that number you know and it's like okay i will say the term i would use is frustrated okay so you were frustrated and then we show you
that number and and now maybe you're kind of kicking yourself because you're going like maybe
we're a little hard on them because they're coming at us with a number that's really generous with a
number that would actually have a big uh a big impact on some problems that i have currently um it would take a big fight out of trouble yeah
our kids are our kids are in a heap of trouble control yes they're going crazy and that is not
just a random number we put a lot of thought into that yeah no it was in there well because we've been thinking
of this number for months already yeah this is not yeah this is not random this is a very
calculated number every dollar yeah i think that you know anything lower i think i would have just
seeing it again yeah and it's the same number yeah do you understand why we came to this uh i'd like to hear some of the reasoning i mean i know um i feel like it's worth this much
but i have obviously a different relationship with the show than most people um so i'd like
to know like what your conversations were well it's pretty simple um What we did is we had our intern go through and listen to every one of your episodes.
You have an intern?
Yeah, Scotty.
He's from Cal State Northridge.
He's a computer sciences major.
Computer sciences?
Yeah, so he knows a lot about podcasting.
Wow, okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they have more than one computer science over there.
Multiple sciences.
He went through and gave each, assigned a monetary value to every episode.
And then we added them all together.
And then this is the number that we came up with.
So you're buying all the other, all the old ones too.
Okay.
Yes.
And those will be destroyed.
Oh, okay.
Like one of those.
They're going to be destroyed because yes and that's
there's gonna be my next question well there is a good reason for that and that's not just i know
what you're thinking you're thinking like oh that seems a little cruel you know but it's not it's
actually we talked to scotty and we and and um he was saying that in the computer sciences
division of the school that actually it's like a common thing that when people that you're going
up against in business you want to kind of destroy their computers along the way do you know what i
mean yeah so you're so wait you're going against us in business well we're gonna need your computers
you were excited to come here so here's the thing and are going to be destroyed as well? You told me you were... They're worth more dead than alive?
That's really concerning.
You said that you were excited to come here because you thought it was going to be a normal interview.
We weren't going to bring this up to you today.
Then you said you felt ambushed.
Yes.
Then suddenly we have a predetermined number that Scototty from computer science has the scotty
from that has gone over it division and that we are in a competition a business competition
this was not meant for today this was not this was meant as part of why they were so
you were excited to be here yeah well you may have gotten us yeah on that
we were thinking we might go out after this maybe you know grab you know uh that's what i wanted to
go over we would go like does anybody want to go splitsies on some of this stuff yeah maybe
get a shrimp cocktail or something. Something fun, something a little
elevated. Get like the shishito
peppers and
some of them are
spicy. Not with
a burned part, please. It's charred.
I hate when they burn
that. Some fresh ones for him
and then we can have
some of the charred.
See? This is nice. It feels good to kind of laugh. That's what I wanted. That'd be fun. See, this is nice.
It feels good to kind of laugh, right?
That's what I wanted.
Yeah.
That's what I wanted when we first.
I was laughing before Amanda could see the number again.
Amanda, can we see the number again?
Thank you for showing me the number.
Thank you for showing us the number. I like the number so much imagine that is a stack of cash
well i i am i am is that for each of us or i split that with haze oh this is to split boys okay okay
and then kevin i guess get some and then a bunch of it goes back to you. Yeah, so ultimately you're going to be getting a huge chunk of that cash-ish.
It's for you.
It's for you.
We will ask that you two also relocate.
We are relocating ourselves?
To a different studio?
No, to a different state.
It has to be out of the state.
Okay.
Are all the other states on the table?
Okay.
Are all the other states on the table?
Everything except Iowa, Nebraska, New Jersey, I think is what our lawyer said, and Kansas and Minnesota.
Alaska is a maybe.
Okay.
Drop the hammer on me at the end. Hawaii.
California is where we are.
Hawaii would be so nice.
That's really great.
It feels like it's nice that we got New York. You got New York. Yeah. It's a really big state. Yeah, that's a we are. Hawaii would be so nice. That's really great. It feels like it's nice that we got New York.
You got New York, yeah.
That's a really big state.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I mean, are we allowed to start another podcast ever?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can we not also, we can't pass through or over any of those other ones to get to the
other ones that we're getting?
If you are seen driving through, you will be arrested.
There will be warrants for you in those states.
Okay, because the Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa thing.
No, it's going to be impossible.
We have to go through Texas or something, but that's pretty big.
Yeah.
Okay.
It sounds doable.
Can we start another podcast, like a totally separate?
Is there any kind of non-compete?
There is definitely a kind of non-compete.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No podcasting.
So we can't start like
pennsylvania podcast or anything your voices can't be heard that this is kind of what's going
to be in the contract of that to be able to get that number your voices won't be able to
be recorded or heard have you seen the little mermaid it's kind of like an aerial clause
your voice will be taken from you okay okay and what's the kevin of it all like what happens to him well he he has a separate
contract and he may be kevin i don't know if you want to say this now or whatever but go ahead if
you want to say what we've been talking about everyone goes around the room and says one nice
thing about me before each recording a recording of what who's recording what
what the fuck he doesn't matter about they but we're not allowed to be your contract what contract
is this it sounded like wait wait it sounded like they were setting up the like kevin was
going to announce that he was going with them or something like that this sounds like a completely
different thing it seems like he was not paying attention. Kevin got an old contract.
This was the contract he got.
It's making me feel much better.
It's making me feel much better about that version of it that I thought was being set up,
which is Kevin not working with us anymore.
But it sounds like something got lost in the communication again.
Yeah.
And this may have been an email sent to the wrong address or something, because Kevin doesn't have the same again. Yeah. And this may have been an email sent to the wrong address
or something
because Kevin doesn't
have the same idea.
On maybe our show
which like I guess
wouldn't exist anymore.
Yeah.
This is just
for future work.
Yeah.
I have a contract
that's for future work
with Amanda Maria.
Okay.
So that is
number one clause
Santa.
Ha ha. That's what it says.
Number two, everyone go around the room
and say one nice thing about me before we start.
Number three, I get all of the babysitting money and a tip.
Okay, I don't think you tip a babysitter.
Three A.
The tip can be...
You don't tip your babysitter?
I mean, a tit?
Like, what?
You're telling on yourself, sweetie.
There's a rate.
Like, we settled on a rate.
Like, we said, like, what, she did a good job?
Tell me you don't tip your babysitter without telling me you don't tip your babysitter.
What was the conversation before and even before?
We were like, here's what I'm going to pay you.
Men will literally not tip their babysitter instead of going to therapy.
She gets like all kinds of like, she like last time I turned on the TV the next day
and it was like halfway through the first episode of Succession. So like she like last time i turned on the tv the next day and it was like halfway
through the first episode of succession so like she got to watch that for free yeah like that's
a big well no it actually wasn't for free i actually paid for that so oh you're on a per
episode like so someone someone did someone did pay for it i may have been paying for it yeah
well yeah i mean i've like i use shots direct tv password but like i have okay
there's that number can i use can i use that money to um like fund some other kind of creative
passion project like if i'm not doing a podcast can i just make like a documentary of me like
eating a scooter or something like that a scooter eating a scooter or something like that. A scooter? Eating a scooter? Eating a scooter. Or a schooner?
Which one is more interesting to you?
I mean, you seem to have your kind of finger on the pulse
of what people want to pay to see or hear.
Well, what is a schooner?
It's a sail.
It's like a boat.
It's your idea.
Oh, I thought a schooner was like a big stir fry.
That's fun.
I like that.
Yeah.
This is the show they do. Because there's a restaurant this has to be what
they do on this called schooner later and they serve these big sort of hashes yeah and i thought
a schooner i didn't realize a schooner was a big stir fry yeah even though it's on the marina it's
in the marina oh i love it i can. I can't even pinpoint kind of the taste.
It's kind of really, there could be anything in there.
They're talking about not being able to imagine what it tastes like.
And I can't stop listening.
Like one said a big giant stir-fried hash, and the other one said I can't pinpoint the taste.
I can't pinpoint the taste.
And I gotta say,
I can imagine paying 10% of the money I earned.
Listen to this.
I learned how to code.
Someone went through their whole life seeing the word schooner
and the name of a restaurant
and thinking that was the name of the food.
And maybe saying to the waitstaff,
I guess I'll have one big schooner.
The lady will be having the schooner for dinner.
I thought you'd have it for dinner.
It's more of a brunch spot.
Hash dinner, hash dinner.
Oh, yeah. I'm the fucking idiot yeah
i thought you'd have it for dinner eat a schooner for dinner
so yes to answer your question you could do whatever you want as long as it's kind of a
visual thing no no voice yeah so get into painting you know get into yeah documentary
filmmaking where someone else does can i put a can i can i change my voice can i put like some sort of like filter on like this
the when the scream murderer would make phone calls and i always sound like that um i mean
no one's gonna stop you i mean i guess if you're able to kind of we will have watchdogs is what
i'm trying to say and that that you could try as hard as you might but we will be watching we will have watchdogs is what i'm trying to say and that that you could try as hard as you
might but we will be watching we will be listening well you said that i can't my voice like i would
lose my voice entirely even if it's not being recorded so like what if i need my wife to help
me find something can i based on the aerial like of it all, you might even be marrying someone else.
Oh, right.
Someone else might show up and be like, hey.
And I can't say anything.
No voice?
All right.
Yeah.
What's up with this?
Right.
Well, because part of the Ariel deal, too, was she got feet.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I haven't heard anything about it.
What, you're going to get?
Yeah.
Ariel got feet.
You got a couple of dollars signs.
You got $520 million.
$125,289.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I've been shown it so many times.
I guess it would help to know,
just like what we're giving the show over to
if i could just hear like a little bit of the of the seance episode just so i can make my final
decision you're in the closet like what did you set up just so we're picturing it like to summon
like the the specter well like amanda said because it was a specter, the voice didn't come across very well.
So the listeners, as you guys will remember, it was very blotchy.
So we kind of had to fill in kind of what we were hearing.
The listeners, as you guys will remember, it was very blotchy.
The sound was blotchy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a little shaky, you know, because he or she or they were coming in from across the platform.
Yeah, the point of the parade.
So it basically started where a man and I were in the closet
and we were just kind of like shooting the SH.
Can you guys swear on this show?
We don't swear on Holly Hand.
Okay.
Well, then we probably would stop.
We might not be doing it ever again.
So it kind of doesn't matter.
But we won't do it.
So we were just shooting the SH and I was just but we'll we won't do it so we were just
shooting the sh and we were i was just what were we talking about oh i think just our days yeah and
then yeah what we had for lunch that day this is how we pretty much honestly how we start the show
is like check in on the weather check in on what we've eaten okay i'm saying it's been a little
gloomy lately and looking forward to the sun breaking through. But you've gone into a closet at this point to discuss the weather.
We lit our candle.
We had our Ouija board.
And we thought, let's just open up and see who comes through.
Let's start having a free-flowing conversation.
I think we did like a quick two-minute kind of breathwork exercise where we just kind of opened up our spirits
opened up our souls and then they came through okay we just heard this sort of come through
yeah just this voice sort of coming in from up above yeah and they said are you guys this is
holly hand we said yes it is okay and then they just dished yeah i mean we were cover like
we couldn't believe the things that they were saying this is not any more information
it's one of those things where you had said when i was like can we get some sort of reenactment
or like hear a sample and And you were like, absolutely.
And then you described it.
And then we were like, well, we do need to actually hear it now.
And then you just have described it almost the same way.
It just feels like you guys are trying to get a freebie is what you guys are trying to do.
Yeah, I guess you just agreed to give us a freebie as part of why I'm sort of like. Can Kevin just do, kevin just do is kevin allowed to do a re i mean can kevin i guess he's like working for you somehow had to get the
the code from casey but since he's heard it is he allowed to just like share a little what it was
like yeah i mean i'm i'm okay with it just because we are dissolving their company today yes and that
is happening like you said that's happening no matter what.
And it's just that about a buddy is just a total courtesy.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll do it.
I'll give you the freebie, even though I'm, I don't know.
I don't feel comfortable.
I don't feel like cool doing it.
Like when we record, like I always feel cool.
I always feel comfortable.
And right now I don't.
And so I'll do it though.
Amanda, if you think that's correct.
I just think if Kevin's comfortable
because you're going to be
playing the specter.
I'm comfortable.
Thanks for asking.
Okay.
I mean,
let's hear just maybe like a second.
I always feel cool
and comfortable too.
When I just,
when we do the show,
I care about the listener
feeling cool and comfortable.
So it's less about how I feel.
Okay.
Okay.
So we'll just,
this will be a little bit of,
because Amanda and I can't remember exactly,
this is just going to kind of be in the realm of what we did.
Are you talking to me?
Things were shaking, lights were flickering.
I said, Maria, someone is here with us.
I can feel it.
Give me a break.
Maria, I'm serious.
Someone is here.
Hi.
Oh my God.
Who is it?
Can you tell us your name?
I'm Amy.
Amy?
This was the first.
She died after that?
There's multiple Amy's.
But you had said that the big Amy was the first one,
like the main one.
That's the biggest living Amy.
This is the biggest.
I'm the biggest dead Amy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Amy the gorilla.
What?
What the fuck?
The gorilla?
That's right.
I thought the gorilla's name was Harami.
Harami?
No.
You don't know about that?
Amy was Harami's mom.
Maria, you don't know about that? Okay was Harami's mom. Maria, you don't know about that?
Okay, that was the mom.
Okay, so then we were like, Amy the-
It doesn't seem like the gorilla's mom would know that much about that many insider secrets.
Yeah.
Do you know the access that those gorillas had?
No.
They were everywhere.
Okay.
No, they were in one habitat. They were literally only in one in one habitat yes they were living in captivity
you guys are so stuck in the reality you've been spoon fed yeah all right they were stuck
i guess we're the ones living in captivity exactly that's such a cool thing to say okay
what so can i hear let's hear one secret media yeah i'd like to hear one
secret that amy the gorilla yeah i want to hear one of amy the gorilla secrets she died too
well amy killed her as well amy died and she came back so when natural causes yeah natural causes so
when she came through amanda and i were like oh my god like this is crazy amy do you have anything you want
to share with us and so yes i do i'm in a sound is fine by the way yeah it's not blotchy it's
not blotchy at all well because we repeated what she was saying on the okay if you guys just get
the code like that's like the number one thing i have tried to get AI can piece it together too
yeah that's true
okay Kevin I don't like that you've been thinking
about this
you could be babysitting an AI piece together
a whole podcast
anyway
I'm in a group text
called the watchdogs
and my friends and I
talk about movies about dogs.
There's a movie called Air Bud.
And the big rumor is all my friends hate it.
Goodbye.
And that's just a piece.
That's just one of like 25 other things.
It has to be the last piece because she said goodbye at the end.
Yeah.
And so you had said earlier when I asked like if I could use something
to change the sound of my voice, you said we will have watchdogs,
you know, looking out for you. and that seems like a big coincidence then that the Amy the gorilla ghost like we established like uh then is also talking about watch dogs like it
felt like can I what I'll say is it felt fake and and what i'll also say is if it's fake
it really sucks
if someone's gonna fake a secret it should be pretty juicy makes me wonder if the number is
real makes me wonder if you have been doing this.
I'm questioning a lot of it.
I'm questioning.
I'm wondering if the reason I don't have the code is because there is no code.
It's almost so bad that it can't be fake.
That's what makes me think it's the most real.
That's the one thing lending some legitimacy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, listen.
We wake up every day.
Yeah.
I mean, we wake up every day going, is this real?
Did this really happen to us?
I can't believe this is my life.
Yeah, okay.
I'll take it.
I'll take the money.
Smiling through it all.
Okay, yeah.
Bye.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.