Hollywood Handbook - Andy Daly, Our Hard Drugs Friend
Episode Date: January 11, 2022The Boys welcome back ANDY DALY to discuss his new role in CBB World. Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy... and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast
so i am
pissing on dracula's grave i am blast off oh i'm letting it blow because and i know you don't like when we get political on the show
but fuck this guy right i mean fuck this i'm sorry i'm sorry fuck this guy drinking the bloods
of human yeah that's gonna be a no for me dog that's not okay so i'm letting it flow man and it's
taking a long time i drank one of those big arizona ice teas and so it's such a deal was he
there well this is what i'm kind of getting to is like i had chosen sunset as a very picturesque
time because i have people taking pictures but as the sun goes down i'm starting to think why am i remembering
dracula and his casket and sunset maybe this was a bad idea sure enough the son of a bitch wakes up and gets out of his grave wow he you drink too big
arizona iced tea isn't it always the way and he's none too happy to see me friend some of the stuff
he's saying to me i don't like and at one point i'm thinking is this guy gonna dracula bite his fangs on my freaking schwang piece and and he says i would if i could find it and i go hang on whoa you were just can
you hear my thoughts that oh my god i didn't even know that was something he could do i go you you
could hear my thoughts and then i think yes i yes, I can. And I realize, oh, he's actually projecting his thoughts into my mind as well.
Wow.
So now I'm really mad.
I'm feeling glad that I pissed on his grave because this guy's a bad guy.
Getting into my thoughts?
Excuse me.
But I also have a lot of respect.
Yeah.
I'm seeing him in person.
Did you find him to be actually actually like dead and loving it oh um
to me dead no okay undead if anything right loving it yes i thought you were gonna ask me if he was hot okay and hayes man yeah
i don't agree with his politics but i'm also not blind i want to introduce our guests this
please this is not like the get this guy in here it's andy d. Hi. Hey, how are you? He's done the show before, but this is a special one.
As we're recording this, it is Veterans Day.
Oh, yeah.
And this year, as every year, we wish a solemn Veterans Day to...
Not so solemn.
Say more solemnity for Memorial Day.
Sure. That's a really nice attitude andy that's yeah well i don't want to blow my solemnity load on this day when i got a
when i got a real big one coming up i'm just saying people confuse the two this is for people
who came home and andy did come home from the Hashtag Wars. We salute everyone who served in the Hashtag Wars on At Midnight.
Andy was featured, I believe, served alongside Paul Scheer.
I believe that's true.
And Brett Gelman.
He was in the shit.
Natasha Leggero.
It was a four-person panel? i'm saying i i was on the
show i went back oh you did multiple tours i did yeah i re-enlisted like six times i did multiple
tours wow it was crazy i something happened like i just got hooked on it like i got addicted yeah
the show you got you get back home from the hashtag wars. Exactly. You don't know how to behave anymore.
You try to go to the grocery store.
Yeah.
That's become normal.
I got people saying regular things to me, and I'm coming up with hashtags left and right
based on what they're saying.
And it's like, that's not appropriate here.
And I never know.
I feel like, believe me, if you ever saw anybody yell points at me when I was not on at midnight i would just crumple
so i it just got to the point where i was like send me back because i don't know how to function
out here yeah you had you had post twitter sadness disorder which is like something it's
you know we can talk about it it's it's really serious uh ptsd and there's a lot of stuff about
it online and and and it's very hard to cope and it does become
that you actually miss the
chaos of being in the hashtag wars
so I hope you've coped
since. I remember a particular
battle where
the challenge was to
do puns with the word pun
and
the general
would say punts instead of points uh i mean fields of gore
yeah uh you i under i mean like we all saw it you laughed a pretty huge chunk of your butt off
yeah sure i did i mean i, I saw some of my best buddies
laugh their butts off on that show.
Yeah.
I mean, I didn't know we were going to talk about it,
but it's pretty heavy.
It's not a coincidence that you were scheduled
for this particular day.
I guess not.
A day which, by your own admission,
is not solemn at all.
Not all that solemn.
Because I came home
from at midnight and i you know and here i am i'm i'm carrying on so with a chunk of change too
like a chunk of actual change that they that's that's what they that's what they paid i recall
being paid in high quality cookies like the kind that like you can hold it in the palm you know
what i mean like they're big no nabisco man these no i mean like high quality somebody yeah pa had
to go grab them that day that's what i'm saying that you can hold in the palm of your hand finally
cookies that actually fit in your damn hand i mean people go you want a cookie
they're spilling over the side of your hand yeah sure i'll take a cookie they roll in this
wheelbarrow they go have at it yeah i've got no fork and knife i go how am i supposed to eat this
fucking thing there you can take it home i'm like it won't fit in my car that's what i'm saying
these were cookies that a man can hold
in the palm of his hand handheld cookies yeah these cookies would fit in a in a cup of uh milk
you could put them in like a glass of milk finally i'm me huh i've got i'm i'm just painting the
picture for the audience i'm me i've got milk in front of me.
You're thinking, no way a guy gets a cookie in here.
The cookie that Andy had, I actually could.
Yeah.
Last night, I'm thinking, God, it'd be so nice to have some cookies and milk right now.
That's a classic, right?
I mean, people, you think of one and you think of the other.
I get the milk out i
bring out the cookie i try to dip it in the milk the glass shatters explode explode milk and glass
everywhere the cookies like totally unchanged cookies covered in blood sure because the glass
the glass explodes into your hands you know what i mean so
now there's blood all over the cookie it's just like it's a nightmare every time it happens i'm
always like i pour the whole i pour a huge glass of milk and i sit down and i go and now for the
cookie and that's when it hits me oh yeah i've done this before i didn't send a PA out to get high quality cookies this morning.
No,
that's right.
I got to get these cookies off the line.
I go get a fucking pallet.
I get,
I get a forklift and I,
and I get like a pallet fork and I,
and I just,
I drive,
I drive up to it.
I lift the cookie up.
I place it on the milk.
Yeah. I'm not paying attention. I lift the cookie up. I place it on the milk. I'm not paying attention.
I crash through my garage.
Because all you want is a snack.
You're famously not you when you're hungry.
My blood sugar is through the basement.
When I'm not hungry, I could be Aretha Franklin.
I could be Joe Pesci.
But I'll tell you who I'm not.
I'm not myself. when you're not hungry
when i'm hung when i am hungry when you are hungry when i am hungry i'm not myself i'm confused when
i'm not hungry yes i'm also he's not him when he's hungry i i don't know the commercials you're
talking about oh bless you andy bless. And this guy, he unplugged?
Yeah.
He's off the grid.
Maybe I shouldn't say this, but guys, I'm just going to let it hang out.
I don't like watching commercials on television.
And I think I go to extreme lengths to avoid them.
I think I probably set the tone in a bad way because i got
so political about dracula the purpose of this show is not to infuriate our audience with the
most scalding hot takes they've ever heard and i apologize this is out there so let's cope with it
you're saying you go to extreme lengths uh what's the most fucked up, insane thing you've done to avoid seeing a commercial?
Well, I'm not proud of any of this, but I was at a Target and they had the TVs on and the TVs.
I'm talking a whole fucking wall.
Wow.
Of one of those goddamn Geico commercials came on.
And then to me, it was just how many of these can I destroy?
How fast before one of these idiots stops me?
And the answer was all of them.
All of them.
Some are pretty high up.
And the question wasn't even structured that way
basher bring in basher with the emp and i just i don't even know what i grabbed i just grabbed
whatever looked like it could possibly shatter one of these whatever the fuck these screens are
made out of in the security footage i saw you because some of them are pretty high up on the wall you kicked over an indoor trampoline
uh and then kind of bounced like yourself into the into the top row like one at a at a time
yeah i didn't know i could do that things yeah i didn't know i could do that but it and it had to
be i mean i guess i've always been pretty good with physics and i understand like you know i
can play a game of pool.
I understand bank shots and stuff like that.
But it had to be like, at what angle are you hitting the trampoline?
Yeah, a lot of experimentation.
They were very slow coming over the first few tries.
Yeah.
There's a lot of people looking at each other.
They went straight forward a couple times,
didn't get any elevation really at all.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, there were a lot of of it happened a few times that a
target employee would come over just kind of regard the scene for a moment and then walk away as if to
get help and then i need anything yeah and then a different person would come by and do the same
thing it was like you know you can't one at a time me there's a couple questions yeah because
it's yeah no they're gonna need a whole team to take you down.
And it's like there's them trying to figure out what you're doing for a pretty good period of time.
Then there's like, how do I handle this?
And generally one of those stories, how you handle it is you go get somebody else.
Absolutely.
Some somebody outranks you and should be dealing with total massive destruction of inventory.
But also part of it was, is that Andy Daly?
So that's, you know what I mean?
That's going to slow you down.
That's always part of the math.
And it's like, I'm not instantly recognizable.
So it takes a minute or something for them to be like, I know him from somewhere.
You know what I mean? So it takes a minute or something for them to be like, I know him from somewhere. What?
You know what I mean?
I think that's Chunk and Bean's dad.
Is that the dad from that pilot, that unaired pilot?
ABC pilot.
No one's seen it.
I think that's the dad. think that's beans dad i think i was
chunks dad and that's what and this is what they're saying this is what they're going back
yeah a matter of fact uh uh dan it's chunks dad he goes son of a bitch why did i think he was beans dad and all of this is happening
you're it's the mandela effect this is another tv another tv yeah i'm just taking them all down
and i've got more than enough time you know i had to i did have to pay for all of them but to me
yeah it was a lot of money but felt like i i did not have to see even one entire commercial very low price to pay
to avoid seeing the geico commercial on a silent screen at target yeah that's how i feel yeah yeah
we want to uh look ahead to um to new projects absolutely oh absolutely we have spoken a lot about comedy bang bang
world in this show
supporters we are rooting
for it so hard
we think it's so awesome
they're finally taking their
power back and
a lot of potential I think if
they can get the
website up and running
looking at it now it is still broken the website
becomes functional i'm telling you this is where i this will be my one-stop shop to laugh and see
some of my favorite creators work and it's difficult to get a website going like that
doesn't happen overnight you know that's probably going to take weeks or even months for them to get
that operational i was not aware that there were problems with the website.
It is.
Neither were they.
Parts of it are permanently broken,
just like sizing it up right now.
Some of it has been coded out of existence.
There's no way.
Yes, there are aspects of it where it's basically like,
it's a kill code.
So the way which the site was coded,
you're never going to be able to access that again.
And to try to interfere with those parts,
it spreads to other parts of the site.
It's a product.
It's going to devour.
But there's no danger to someone who visits the site
and tries to sign up for it or anything like that.
Oh, God, I hope not, Andy. really hope not you know i'm no computer guy this is pretty basic stuff i'm saying there's
no physical danger i they're like i would say there's mental danger mental danger there's mental
danger certainly always with something like this and when you say no physical i just have to say
i'm not a computer expert i
have seen people lose their hands by using their keyboard uh on a site sorry it's just because the
code can creep through the keys yeah um i was referring to like your just like your torso for
some reason yeah you know your torso will be safe it'll stop at the hands because they'll just get
sucked in and disintegrated but you know you're thinking
oh let me my 26 best friends are just gonna get in here and yeah and check out the site listen
to some funny shit which i think you're doing something on there which god bless awesome so
happy to see that thank you yeah it sounds like you guys are real supportive of it i love it i
hope they get that site figured out man because that and also it'd be a cash cow they if
they get this site if it were like if it were if you could like click on it and stuff that would be
i wouldn't be surprised if some of the people that pay money for our stuff decide that's a
better value start putting money into that i mean as soon as they get the website operational so
which by the way whatever is best for the audience. That's my thing. You guys should join up with CBB World, don't you think?
We've talked about it.
We talked about it.
We talked about it.
Okay.
Well, great.
I haven't found the right thing.
But we have sort of a partnership with Scott,
which is as people are joining the team over there with your bread i see the freedom gang is over there
now that's exciting new news they're kind of passing through scott was like hey just like
on their way to cbb world if they could just like do an episode of your show you could have andy on
and do just kind of a little like orientation about like kind of how we do things over here.
Because we were very early guests on like Scott hasn't seen, for example.
So like we kind of like understand like it's a little different.
It's not exactly like Earwolf.
And so just to like kind of train you up, get you shovel ready to actually like be a part of this um this amazing
new they're not wasting time because scott has to like he has to make all the shows and do all
this when he's got this fucking website nightmare in front of him i'm on am i on this show right now
in order to become shovel ready to do a show on cbb world is that what you're saying
and i don't know if we become shovel
ready in this episode but i think boy that'd be that'd be great we'd love to get you as close as
we can but i also i just want to i have a follow-up which is i don't think i know what
shovel ready means who what am i in that am i the guy wielding the shovel am i the soil that's ready
for the shovel can you walk me through it a little bit in this context i
would say so shovel ready yes i would guess is like you know like a project that is ready to
uh start putting bricks we can break ground yes got it it's project site's cleared. It's all leveled out.
I guess you are
in this case, the soil.
I am the soil. Or am I
the work of the architect?
Do you know what I mean?
Meaning the plans...
From the matrix?
I'm going to simplify it. You can be the
shovel. You can be the soil. It feels like you want to make it some kind of like i i'm not wild about
being like a field of soil but i but whatever i can be because i know it's just a metaphor and
it doesn't matter so it doesn't matter but i i would love to be like you want it does matter graphically
you want to put it somewhere no i would love to be the the blueprint the funding uh you know the
the overall project that is itself well unfortunately that's the website what you're
talking about is the website which we've already said has its own issues i i can i tell you you
don't want to be that. Okay.
Because that's something that they've really fumbled the ball on.
So, God, it would be great for you to be the soil.
You don't want to be the soil. It's fine.
It's fine.
You know what?
No, no, no.
I'm the soil.
We want you comfortable.
No, make me the soil.
It's fine.
And as soil, my goal is to be ready for the shovel to start displacing me so that a building can be erected.
I mean, no, I don't love that.
I don't love that metaphor.
It feels wrong.
Are you scared of the shovel?
Of course.
The soil is terrified of the shovel.
Sure.
Right?
So is like Kevinvin from home alone when he saw that guy guy shovels you remember when you saw that guy you seen the
guy he was like that guy's gonna dig me up yeah what's no i don't remember kevin alone kevin's
boy shovel this is actually a little dangerous so sc Scott actually has a show called Scott Hasn't Seen, Andy?
Yes.
Yes, I know that.
And so not seeing stuff, not having seen this commercial, this is actually a great start.
You're going to want to have seen stuff.
I see.
Because Scott is kind of doing that.
I got it.
Already.
It's sort of like if you went to work for like cordon and you kind of came and you
were like i'm the guy my thing is i sing all these songs you know he'd kind of be like i don't think
we need that guy okay right like that's a very what we need is a guy who loves when another guy
is singing songs that yes is best yes so i love that scott hasn't seen things yeah can i be a guy who has you haven't
seen that yeah yeah that's you yeah i'm very comfortable there but can i be a guy that's
one of the most famous okay what i'm sorry i'm trying to piece together. What was your life to this point? You haven't seen that. Yes.
Um,
I would,
that sounds great.
And in fact,
I want to write that down because I'd love to just say,
what were you pitching that you're a guy that has seen things?
I think that's really what he needs.
I know,
but,
but also doesn't remember,
uh,
saw him so long ago.
Yeah,
that's good.
I'm a guy I've seen everything you name it i've seen it
but i'm pretty fuzzy on what the character's names are when there's a shovel in it i don't
remember that you have no you have no stories about it or anything you have just seen it and
that's it i'm jealous man the only reason i know i've seen it is that i keep a list of everything
i've seen and pretty much everything is on there but i I can't tell you when I saw it. What an angle. You got to keep
going back to your list and going, did I really see this? Because I don't remember a fucking lick
of this thing. And you go back, you go, sure enough, it's on the list. I got the date right
next to it. Here's a picture of me seeing it. Yeah, that would be good. And it's on the computer.
So all I need to do is like i can do a
find on it and it's real easy to find it what a take man because i because he's gonna have a lot
of people who have seen it but for you to be somebody who has seen it and still doesn't know
what it is i'll be honest with you i don't know how i do it but that i came up with the middle
path between seeing it not seeing it feels really good well you guys helped thank you no but please
i mean that was you will be invaluable to this entire network okay how's that for a pile of dirt
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like and like you know like let's get there's there's like a specific path for everyone to
like adapting to kind of the special culture of cbb world um and honestly i don't like we didn't
have to have the meeting,
and the meeting was very short.
We basically just sat around and hung out and talked
because for you, it's very basic.
Scott, it was really just one sentence of Scott saying
he's going to have to get very, very into drugs,
very seriously into drugs.
Yeah, just pretty deep into of underground world of hard drugs.
Oh, okay.
So Scott is having you guys kind of be kind of middle,
convey his thoughts about what a new team member at CBB World needs to do.
Just to kind of fit in and be able to hang with those guys
i mean especially like now they're independent from the whole corporate structure yes i think
it's going to be more comfortable for everybody if you are very very reliant on a whole series
of different hard drugs is that a brand just so i understand is that like a branding thing is that like a public facing kind of like my deal is i'm all about drugs or is that more it could be for you
it could because as the guy who's seen everything but doesn't remember any of it it actually
dovetails quite nicely with guy who has been doing a lot of hard drugs it's got a little jimmy
natowski if you if you remember the 2010, you weren't really there, man.
That kind of thing.
Yes.
That's the truth.
That's good.
And so to start, he's going to want you on a lot of disassociative anesthetics.
This is how we wipe the slate clean and we just kind of like
build it back up from there because it is a fresh start right it's cbb world it's not comedy bang
bang it's not ear yes you know all that bullshit all that baggage it's like let's do a lot of
disassociative tranquilizers sedatives etc just are other guys changing themselves in this way like is gabriel's
doing something lab kiss is obviously all set here uh and so like it like you know we had
different like uh like things for everyone but like lab kiss of course with disassociatives and
like pcp and she's doing that stuff already it's it's she doesn't have to and like it's now like
enough of her circulatory system that um she she doesn't that would actually like bring her down
oh so it's not just me that needs to get into the into this you know if i kind of everybody what if
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all caught up in comparing
yourself to like well what does lapkus have and what did gabrus get to do and do they have to do
this and like just this kind of like very babyish attitude of like it's got to be fair like i don't
want to do what they didn't do like i i think that's a a pretty uh direct path to unhappiness.
And I would just focus on what can I do to be helpful to CBB world?
And right now it is take a massive amount of tranquilizers.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Barbiturates, sedatives.
DXM.
Wouldn't be against.
And this doesn't come directly from scott but it kind of does
wouldn't be against some hgh and some steroids some anabolic steroids and just yes sorry
yeah because you were you were saying you were chunks dad or beans dad i was chunks dad
but that was cast that was kind of funny casting right that chunk was a little bit bigger and
you're his dad and you were kind of kind of smaller and that i don't know yeah i don't know they never told me like if that was
the if my body type was part of the joke yeah uh okay i didn't think i was gonna have to sort of
huh sift through all this too um that was basically the entire joke of the show
it's just chunks got this puny dad what are you talking about wait a minute that's the whole
fucking show man there's no show without that people probably people probably don't know what
we're talking about just if i can, there was a pilot for ABC.
It was called Chunk and Bean.
It was about an overweight 14-year-old boy
whose best friend is a very short 14-year-old boy.
And then I was the dad to the boy, Chunk,
who was the overweight boy.
And I don't see how the whole joke of the show
could be that I was scrawny.
It doesn't make any sense that the show would be about a short boy
because the boy is eventually going to get bigger.
You cast a 14-year-old.
They're probably going to get taller.
The actor is going to grow.
That's a good point. And ideally, he probably going to get taller the actor saying that actor is going to grow that's a good point and by the way ideally is going to get like jacked and stuff you know it's going to get like really buff that's interesting to really underscore the dynamic where like this
he has this puny dad because of the lag between like pilot filming and pick up an actual like
series filming in the network system the goal was actually to have you be way
smaller than bean by the time it actually got to series so it was like chunks puny dad is the real
bean beans huge beans ripped as hell beans got his shirt off washing the car and like all the
moms in the neighborhood are slowing down driving by so that you know that was the the concept as far as
like the network and the creative was concerned that's pretty wild because i was gonna be called
chunks puny dad oh they were gonna pull a like a fonzie's happy days on it type of thing they
were gonna switch up the switch up the title yeah okay it's like they did with fonzie's happy days yeah right like
fonzie's happy days wow i this is all because you were saying before we got on you had a meeting
with these guys i did meet i did meet to write on the show they laid out all this stuff huh
yeah they were talking about i go i don't know i met andy he doesn't seem that small to me and
they were like thank you you know the way we shoot it it's really going to accentuate that he's much smaller obviously than chunk and
and ultimately than than being as well and so once we've gotten through the the disassociatives the
like the the robituss and the pcp this is a new word for me disassociative you just mean that i'm just not
going to understand man this is tuss okay i'm just i'm gonna be kind of out of it or
uh by the end of this there is no it okay to be out of so this is like an erasure yes all right okay i i'm right now i'm just taking this in
have you ever been visited by that's what you need to be saying about your next task which is
opium lying on your side big long pipe lying on my side so i don't on your side. Big, long pipe.
Lying on my side so I don't choke on my own vomit.
Beat up old cot.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
I'm smoking it.
Burlap sack thrown over you.
Why is that?
There's a pipe at your side.
Just in case you get chilly.
Okay.
Also, if anything, God forbid, does happen to you, we can just put you in the sack and carry you
straight out to the dumpster you guys are a part of this are you supplying me with the opium no i
mean i say we i just mean the whole team over at cbb world i believe sean disson would actually be
the one who physically carried your body to the dumpster okay uh you guys you know you know i have a family you know i have i have responsibilities
i you know it's funny you say that cbb world is kind of a big family yeah the way we look out for
each other and so uh of course i i knew that and yeah i think one of your first responsibilities
is going to be to the show to the creative and to
your gift god damn it andy i'm a fucking fan of you man oh thank you i don't want to see you like
squander yeah the gift that's been handed to you by going like oh i don't know i'm kind of nervous
i don't want sean distant to put me in a burlap sack and walk me to the dubster like and i you
know i kind of got stepped on
and maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I was asking,
have you met the Green Fairy? Have you ever
introduced yourself to?
I don't know anything about
the Green Fairy.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
The absinthe.
It's wormwood liquor.
It's a hallucinogenic
drink.
I have heard of that.
Yeah.
I've heard of it.
Yeah.
But no, I did.
Is that is that for real?
Something you can get?
Like, I thought they outlawed it 200 years ago.
But I mean, it's is it?
Yeah, it's some.
It's outlawed.
So are you something of an outlaw?
I mean, we're kind of comedy outlaws, right?
Here we are operating independently, no network.
We've created our own world, which has its own set of laws.
It's the CBB world, man.
Okay.
All right.
That's cool.
There's so much about this I did not know.
Just so you know, literally, Scott just asked me,
do you want to move your podcast over to this thing?
He said nothing about, he didn't even say anything about
thinking of it as a family, let alone.
No financial conversation.
That's been typical, actually.
Classic Scott.
We had no discussion about.
I was surprised to hear that people are paying to join it.
There was no conversation about money
um but definitely never never any of the drug stuff came up so this is uh this is new and it's
a little surprising and i'm i'm keeping an open mind and i get what you guys are saying appreciate
that yeah um but i'll tell you it's uh i i worry a little bit because now you've got me
essentially erasing myself and then doing a opium and then absent i'm just wondering muse
what am i the guillotine of the soul yeah right it has a bad reputation didn't it ruin the lives
of people like toulouse- latrek and so on or am i
thinking of something else oh yeah because talus latrek was having such a great life yeah his life
was awesome oh it was so awesome yeah it would have gone incredibly well have you seen all those
paintings where all these women are like about to kick him in the face
is that what's going on in those paintings when he's painting like the yes
the can-can dancers they're getting ready to just kick his head clean off they're gonna pound his
fucking face into goo i never i never looked at those paintings that way but i'm going to
yeah they're all cropped like if you zoom out on those paintings yeah the initial image is his face is like
just in front of those feet and they're coming towards him and it is going to be you know that's
really getting erased what we're doing is like a reboot like it's like a it's a defrag right so
that's what i want to know because i'm trying to picture what am i what am i going to be at that point what is i'm so excited to find out man
yeah but is there a point where i stop doing these substances and then kind of whatever there's a
point where you stop doing these and do uh just peyote get into the real stuff yeah peyote ayahuasca
yeah just like okay the stuff that actually is going to get you where you need
to be and where is that when we will have to enroll you into uh into a tribe uh like so you can
like get like do it in a religious context which i don't know the tonnage you're going to be taking,
you're going to basically
have to start your own religion.
Can you really enroll in a tribe?
Can you enroll in a Native American?
Like, is there an enrollment?
Is there a...
I've never heard of that.
It might be a little
doing some fancy footwork
in terms of the forms
we fill out and everything.
But yeah, I have a confidence we will yeah sure in there yeah okay all right so now i'm in now you now i'm i have
been erased like an essay you have to write like a good essay i don't know i mean i should write
that now before i start down this journey because i'm not sure what i'll be capable of writing by
the time i'm through with the the absinthe and the opium and all that right would you recommend that i do the essay
pre-drugs or not maybe not uh maybe in like an in-between period maybe before absinthe and opium
and stuff but when we're doing just the like you know uh the black betty's uh two and all uh you know uh like second all demerol like just
that whole yeah all the hypno that's like the sa drug rohypnol is the sa drug i guess i've heard
that before but i didn't when does that come relative to this thing due tomorrow i just i just gotta go home and
roofie myself yeah that's what it is that's how college basically works these days one thing uh
when you're recording you might have to get some new equipment okay because you are gonna have uh a like a rubber cement applier just kind of like
sticking out of each of your nostrils wait a minute does that make sense like you're gonna
you're talking about rubber cement where you unscrew it and you've got the cap is attached
to the cap is a little at little applier for the rubber cement you're just gonna want to like lay like lay that
right in your nostril what so it's am i put i'm putting the brush up my nostril so you're just
seeing two like tops like at some point you're gonna be you need to do so much of this you're
just gonna need you're gonna be like where i need to use my hands every once in a while
so you're just gonna want to to lay those right up in there.
Do you have a scarf?
A scarf?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you have a set of tongs?
Definitely, yes.
Do you think that what might help us is if you could tie a scarf pretty tight,
put a set of tongs up pointed towards your face,
get a rag soaked in paint thinner, and just kind of have that up against your mouth.
I mean, you can move your head aside a little to get to the mic, but it would be good if
you were breathing in paint thinner most of the time.
And I'm afraid if we rely on you holding it with your hands, you're just going to get
lazy and forget and set it down yeah i'm not i'm not picturing what you're describing with the scarf and the
scarf around the neck got that tongs are tied into the scarf so the tongs are kind of pointed oh so
the the grabbers are are the grabber yeah and we might want to put like a hairband around them or
something you know what i mean this is pretty it's it's diy look we don't have a big network we don't have serious money so i mean normally i
would be able to have a machine made for you that would hold it here but for now uh you know we're
kicking off we're the little startup that could and yeah i think we might have to kind of you
know so the point is just to be at all times inhaling paint thinner at that point with even
though i also do have these rubber cement.
And you're going to need, when you're podcasting, you're going to need like a pull chain shower,
like right above your station.
Because you're, I mean, you're going to burst into flame a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's going to cause that? i understand paint thinner the cigars
you're smoking cigars so i've got these cigars i've got a rag soaked with paint thinner right
up to my face and i'm smoking cigars this came from scott i know right i know the idea that scott and that's his respect for you
that he would want like another cigar guy on on the network like that i was like i was like you
sure that's cool like that yeah i but he was pretty adamant he was like no no no there's
plenty to go around you know and so yeah no that that you'll both be um smoking cigars yeah
but he's not gonna have the paint thinner and again i don't want to do what you're saying
before compare myself to what somebody else is doing i don't that looks stupid he's gonna be
huffing uh paint thickener yeah and that's not flammable no that no that that puts out that cools you way way down makes sense yeah yeah freeze you
i would say of everything that you've told me so far the idea the interplay between the cigar
and the rag soaked with paint thinner is probably the the thing that most gets me feeling like
like you're not sure you want to do this yeah yeah to be
honest yes i that's bumping me a little bit on the whole on the whole enterprise to be honest with
you um so i don't know tell you a story can i tell you a story yeah when i started out
in podcasting especially when we moved to doing it at home I was scared too
wow I was pretty nervous really and I have um I don't know if I've talked about this uh sorry
um I have gotten water in my ears before in the shower and it will create this kind of like
achy like sort of like effect and I didn't want to wear headphones certainly over your
headphone I like didn't want to do it and chef Kevin showed me the difference between how it
sounded when I and I was crying kicking and screaming and crying when he put them on me but how it
sounded when I had the feedback from the zoom audio and when I wore the headphones and what
I learned was I don't always know what's best for me and I don't always know what's best for the
show and so I'm here to say thank you to Kevin and to Hayes who held my feet and to say to you let's not knock it till we try it because you might unlock something pretty awesome and i think
as you watch me do this podcast with headphones right now and this is one of the best episodes
probably you've been a part of of anything you got to admit you know sometimes you don't know
until you hear it back but yeah this is the next you know this is this could be the next chunks puny dad pilot i mean this thing is going to be getting
talked about years from now by by you yep wow that's pretty big and that thank you that was
a very helpful story um what is the show uh that you're doing for yeah what's up cbb world oh uh well i'm doing
three different shows bananas for bonanza bonus nanas for bonus nanza and then the bonus nanza
extravaganza which is a grab bag of anything three different shows he said three yeah those okay yeah why is that okay you don't you no i mean uh
because suddenly now just the way you're reacting to that makes me feel like
everything we just talked about was for one podcast and now there's going to be comparable
talked about was for one podcast and now there's going to be comparable accommodations that i need to make this is this yeah this is what the the sort of regimen that we drew up for you was
assuming that there was only one podcast you were going to need to do and yeah i'm wondering how we
and also those we're gonna have to kind of completely reset this because we we aren't doing those
we aren't doing those anymore what do you mean who's not doing what i don't get it
that that part of like the website that they were part of the website building is like it's corrupt
bueno yeah it's not it's really not good the codecs are fried oh for for two of the three podcast wire frames are like
sheared off the logic board is literally in fucking shambles wow how did that there's just
i mean for like to that like there's there's some of the the bonus nanza extravaganza
um there's a little bit there's like smoke it's like there's sort of a phantom like shadow version
of it left on the pentium it's like gaseous yes okay uh it's so good that they invested
in the pentium chip then because at least there's something wow that's terrible but that's but
that's totally inaccessible i mean you can't get to that oh oh that's terrible so the only the one podcast can can live at all
of the three that i do the the kind of like after image of it sort of it's like the equivalent of a
podcast of like if you look at an image for a while and then look at a white wall yes and then you can like see that it's kind of like the reverse kind of ghostly form of it that version
of the bonus nanza extravaganza um we are very excited to be moving forward with yes yes oh
oh i misunderstood so that is that is the only thing that I'm currently doing for CBB World.
Is this kind of good?
Can that be listened to at all?
Ooh, wow.
We're getting technical here.
I mean, the podcast, you mean?
I don't know.
Anything I'm doing, can anybody listen to anything that I'm doing over there is really what I want to know.
I didn't really expect to have to handle this part of it.
Let's the honestly, without getting into like the jargon, the short answer is no.
Can I tell you, there's been a fair amount of jargon up to this point.
You know what I mean?
We were talking about logic boards and wireframes.
But whatever.
I just answered the question however you can answer it.
Because this is where I'm making podcasts now on cbb world right yeah and now
this is it huh yes and it sounds like you're telling me that okay that's not good that all
there is left is like an impression on a pentium chip of a third of the episodes
and that's what it is and i'm i'm just confused and i just want the straightest answer information
because i'm very confused yeah the short answer is no you cannot listen okay thank you thank you
that's very hard thank you this is awesome for you have you on the show to have you like give
you know i know you're a busy guy you said you have a family and everything like i don't know
where chunk of bean is at like if that's in
turn around like no i i haven't heard anything about chunk of bean in years so that's not taking
up a lot of my time but it's been mostly like recording these podcasts i've been it's been
taking up a lot of my time yeah yeah sure okay so that's that is hard to hear that's frustrating yeah yes yes well we've got
this one this one's legendary uh this what we're doing right now yeah this one's this is a good
one you can feel it sometimes when you're in it as i say i never know until i listen to it back
so i know because i tend to be listening to it back when you do handbook you're listening
to that back later oh no what am i what is this now
you you may feel free to do whatever you want in the edit on this because i'm not going to hear it
oh wow okay no i'm kidding i will listen to it back where is it that buddy your guess is good as mine it's on cbb world that's for sure it's not no no cbb world
why not did you guys i don't again i don't want to compare myself to anybody else's thing because
i i agree with with you sean about that but but did you guys just kind of, did you hear about this drug stuff and say, that's not for me?
I mean.
Basically, we tried to put it on there and it ended up kind of like slipping off and like in a different place completely.
What do you, oh.
This is like the architecture of it is like of the site is like greased it was
at the time and i think that's like part of that sort of ended up igniting yeah and which is what
destroyed uh it was corrupted it was greased and overheating and when we put it on that
just created sort of a slick to it that thankfully now just landed our podcast somewhere else.
We were right.
I think we were right to avoid the lingo before
because we're getting in the weeds
and computer stuff that I don't know as well.
Hot grease, yeah.
But basically you tried to have it on there.
And then the grease, we had a grease fire in there.
Okay, but you guys were okay with,
because now I'm not clear as to whether
I even am expected to
do all the drug stuff if what i'm producing is something unlistenable um i think this yeah yeah
no go ahead no i'd be more comfortable if you did it because if we you know if and when we do get
this website up yeah i i think that you know the fans are going to be really grateful
the product is something authentic okay and then it's not like that doesn't suck yeah so
okay yeah i'm feeling from you and i don't want to like read too much into it but i know a little bit about
body language oh it feels to me like you're still a little hesitant and that you want to leave
what time is it yeah i should get going but um this is uh i is, I'm trying not to have an opinion about it right now.
I'm trying to hear this and to take it in.
And then I like to sleep on it.
Anytime I have like a big decision, because this feels like a decision point to me.
Like, do I go forward with this at this point?
Yeah.
It's going to be good to get some sleep now because
some of the other stuff we're gonna put yes into the routine is going to make it pretty difficult
actually to get to sleep going forward yeah but for for sleeping on it tonight i think it's going probably kind of the decision making uh tool yeah um and yeah we can continue this tomorrow
but i also i i um i have to go actually have a date i have to go and i have two dates i'll tell
you what give me the weekend let's touch base on monday uh and just get back into this. Yes. This is sort of a long weekend date
with a certain green lady.
Oh, that's what you have.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
All right.
Well, I'll be interested to hear about that.
We're going away for a few days.
And I have two dates.
You have two dates?
Yeah.
The Bella Twins.
The WWE Divas, the Bella Twins.
The Bella Twins?
Yeah, they're going to kick the shit out of me.
They're going to beat me black and blue.
So I have seen a lot of professional
wrestling, but I don't remember it.
Yes, yes. Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
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that was a hate gum podcast