Hollywood Handbook - Andy Daly, Our Podcast Pilot Friend
Episode Date: September 24, 2019Live from the Dynasty Typewriter, The Boys help ANDY DALY make an entire new season of Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project. This episode is sponsored by hims (www.forhims.com/theboys) and But...cherBox (www.butcherbox.com/theboys code: THEBOYS)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast. Small, small, small Here comes Hayes and Sean
Hollywood Ham
So, I'm sort of flipping around in space.
I'm like, I'm limp.
But I'm flipping and spinning around.
From what's flipping you, friends?
I was, so I'm being... Have a spell
done on me.
Yes. By
Emily.
Oh.
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Deschanel. Yes.
Yes.
And so basically we should have known all along, the obsession with bones,
the always touching them and trying to figure them out.
Oh, yes.
This is witch-like behavior.
It absolutely is.
And I hate to incriminate the entire bloodline, but is that sister of hers a bit too quirky?
Yes.
And Caleb, how can Caleb capture these images without having the powers of a witch?
Perhaps the most fucked up one of them all, Caleb.
So she is essentially crafting me
on the set.
On the Bones set.
Like on a break.
Then everyone's there. Everyone's
watching. David's watching.
And I'm just being spun.
Is Hart Hansen supervising?
Is he stepping in in any way?
Hart Hansen, creator of Bones.
Yes.
You can kind of tell this is like season 14.
He is a little checked out.
Sure.
And he's kind of like staying on the side.
And he has headphones on, but it sounds like they're playing like an audio book.
Uh-huh.
That's like how to do a different show.
That's like how to do a different show.
When I met over there, he said, the thing to remember is you don't work for the bones.
The bones work for you.
So that was, I think, the mistake that I made.
Uh-huh.
I showed up very deferential to the bones.
You don't want to do that. Yeah.
Referential to the bones.
You don't want to do that.
Yeah.
And I think the sort of flipping was almost like an initiation,
like sort of a hazing ritual, but like very quiet.
That's a good way to get into the show.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook,
an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
Live.
Live.
Isn't it fucking nuts to be alive?
If you know, if you've ever been to one of our live shows before, we always wear the same clothes.
It's a cute little thing that we do.
We're back at the Dynasty typewriter.
Once again, we have sold out.
Once again, I spend the whole drive being very pleased with myself that maybe I'm going to see Sold Out on the marquee.
Once again, I slow down as I'm approaching the theater.
Once again, it's not on the side facing me as I'm driving in.
It's a different show.
Once again, I have to turn around as I'm passing the theater to see.
But what's different this time is it did say sold out on the marquee.
Oh!
And if I could get real for a minute, that sold out sign, that's thanks to you guys.
And I appreciate that thank you
for doing the tickets and stuff
without you guys
the sign wouldn't even not say
sold out it wouldn't even say Hollywood handbook
because what would that be
and that's because of you guys so The sign wouldn't even not say sold out. It wouldn't even say Hollywood handbook because what would that be?
And that's because of you guys.
So it's back to school time.
Back to school time.
Back to the teacher's class.
And if I could get so real for a minute with you guys,
if I could just for a minute get real. Going back to school can be pretty tricky, huh?
No one knows that better than you guys.
So we want to give you tips for...
For teacher!
For teacher, for going back to school, ideas,
projects, activities.
Freaking homework.
Homework.
Ideas for homework.
When you show up on the first day and you don't have any homework ideas, you might be a bad school go.
Teacher, you forgot to give us homework.
Eh, wrong.
That's not the teacher's pet.
Here's the teacher's pet.
Teacher, teacher, you forgot to accept my homework
that I brought from home.
Assign yourself a project.
Do you have any tips for...
I guess that was one.
No, yeah. Any other tips for, I guess that was one. No, yeah.
Any other tips for school?
For school?
Guys, if you're doing back-to-school shopping right before you go back to school,
you're doing it wrong.
Wait until there is no more school.
Yes. Wait until there is no more school Yes
When you graduate from school and have a job
It's so much easier to buy school supplies
And then they last for so much longer
Oh yeah
When you are not going to school every day
And using them up
How about you actually buy something that you can keep?
Yes.
I can't remember the last time I touched a pencil,
but they're in my drawer.
One tip that I have from my experience
would be the class where you will be making
the most physical contact with the teacher is pottery.
Now that's for better or for worse.
Do with that information whatever you want.
But that is the class where it will happen the most.
If there is a point in the day that you want to carve out
to splash on a little extra aftershove.
Yes, or like some kind of like a bitter apple.
Something that like really something that sometimes only the teacher can smell.
That sends the message, hey, do not chew on me while we walk.
School.
Back to school.
School, school, school, school. Having tips for school.
Oh, yeah.
Tips.
Going there.
Teacher.
We did teacher.
Yep.
So I just want to clarify something today
the climate strike
and so don't do that
we sat down
before every show
we do every podcast in the studio, every live show.
Sean and I sit down.
It's sort of a drafting table.
And there's graph paper, and we plot out the whole thing.
We do all the choreo.
We just get in the lab, and we don't come out until we have it,
until the whole show.
Until the show is locked,
loaded, and ready to blast.
Yes. But today, out of respect
for the climate strike, we have not prepared
anything at all. Not a thing.
Nothing. Because
think about it. A climate strike.
So then I'm
what? I'm doing drafting table
going working with Hayes on the show?
I'm sorry.
No.
So we are fucking around.
We are messing with you.
We don't even know much about school.
Uh-huh.
And we're in a bit of a pickle.
Just time-filling wise.
But we're not alone.
We've come prepared.
We've got our little secret weapon then. This is the ripcord in case we
needed it.
We do have a guest.
And we
are going to bring out the guest.
And his name is
Andy. And the rest
of it is Andy Daly.
Yes.
Woo!
Woo!
Here he comes.
Hi, Andy.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, you get the whole damn couch.
This is like a little talk show.
It's weird that the microphone is over here.
Andy, you said that this was your first time at the theater,
but somehow you knew to scoop up the curtain from the middle
instead of going through the part that is split open.
That's what we did as well.
I was bewildered.
Is there a right way to do it, and I did it wrong?
There is not a right way that I have found to do it and I did it wrong? There's, there is not a right way that I have found
to do it.
Okay.
I know that I somehow
got back there
without doing that.
But I can't remember
how I came in.
Why is the microphone
over here?
Oh.
It's because last time
when you were on the show,
I was calling in.
Oh.
And so this is like
a middle ground
between that and like
an intimate show.
Actually being close enough to share
space. Did you
think that I was obese?
Look at the size of this.
This is too much chair for one man.
Yeah.
You know what? I just
saw you as a guy who loves to lounge
Am I wrong?
Well, I'll give it a try
Andy, do you have any tips for back to school?
It's not bad
Yeah
What did you ask me?
Do you have any tips for back to school?
Back to school
Tips for back to school?
Yeah
Don't go, man
Shit, man
I wonder what that answer would have been like
if he hadn't been lounging,
and I worry it's going to affect the whole show.
That's right.
We might not get the responsible version of Andy
because we have provided him with such a comfy lounger.
You might not get any version, motherfucker.
And as you know, if you've ever been to one of our shows before,
the guest also wears the same shirt as us.
It is a planned theme.
Yeah, it's not humiliating because it is a choice.
Yes, it would be humiliating
if we had not discussed this beforehand
and we all just happened to own the same light blue shirt
and wear it on the same night.
Just what kind of fucking losers.
And how sad to have the thought
when you're backstage
and Sean comes back
and is wearing a blue shirt
and you think to yourself,
well, at least Andy will be wearing
a different shirt, and you think to yourself, well, at least Andy will be wearing a different shirt.
Not realizing that I think Andy
is the most likely to be wearing
the blue shirt.
No joke, I do have
five of these. So the chances
of me wearing it was 80%.
Back to school. Because I have one other shirt.
Any other back to school ideas?
Back to school ideas.
Gosh, I mean, no.
And let's blue sky this thing, Andy.
I mean, anything about school or just anything.
I mean, you know,
just really buckle down this year.
You have to.
This year you've got to buckle down.
Guys, come on.
Let's get serious. Come on.
The teachers are not your enemy, okay?
Okay.
Okay?
What else?
Let's cut this shit.
Let's stop fucking around and get to fucking business.
Our job is to give our fans the most delightful experience possible.
And we listen to them when we go on message boards
and are looking for praise for ourselves,
and they are talking about something
else. Other shows, they're saying
this is, they say about our show,
this is my second favorite show.
And I go, no!
And what they really
like, Hayes,
is this show that Andy
has done.
Andy did, you did,
the show. Admit it.
I did do a show.
You did the show. A little show.
And actually it is very little in terms of very few
episodes. For the amount of times
I have to hear about it.
That's interesting. And it's called
the Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project.
Yes. Hold for applause.
That's correct.
ADPPP.
ADPPP.
People love the show.
You started it and bailed on it.
Try doing 200 episodes
and then quitting, but still doing over 100 more.
Yeah.
Without actually doing it, showing up and doing it every week.
Yes.
And you're not doing it.
You're not even doing it anymore?
No, you quit, but you are there somehow.
Imagine.
You're not doing this show now?
Not even close.
That's smart.
I'm home.
Yeah.
Man, I'm on a beach in San Tropez.
Pina Colada in hand.
And my latest John Grisham opened on my lap.
What's it called? The newest John Grisham opened on my lap. What's it called?
The newest John Grisham?
That's what it's called?
Huh?
Yeah.
The chamber maker.
Oh.
So, everyone is saying,
can I have a new Andy Daly show?
Can I have a new episode?
Can we do the new season?
May I have a new season?
And you're saying no.
No, I don't think so.
No.
It's too much work.
Mm-hmm.
That's where you're wrong.
What do you mean?
We will show you, because we'll do it right now.
because we'll do it right now.
We are going to deliver an entire season
of the Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project.
And we'll just,
how many episodes per season?
What do you do?
Six, seven?
Eight, as a matter of fact.
Eight?
You were way off.
This might be a sixer.
This might be a short order.
Yeah, if I did a third season,
it could very well be six episodes.
It will be.
Because you're doing it right now.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
How's that going to work?
Well, you are going to have to tell us.
We have not listened to the show.
That's fine.
I have never heard this one.
Yes.
What podcast do you listen to?
I don't care for audio entertainment
It's got to be visual and not audio
I'm just a silent movie guy
And that's about it for me
Slideshows
Yes
Big Daddy B-roll
You're like let me get just a conveyor belt
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I like the local news B-roll.
Oh, yeah.
That can be pretty soothing.
Where do you get the local news B-roll to watch?
I got a buddy at KTLA.
Who's your guy?
My guy.
I got a guy at KTLA.
Yeah.
This clown can't get the local news B-roll.
Jesus Christ.
You're like a reverse nightcrawler.
You just go pick it up.
Daywalker? Yeah.
You're a daywalker.
I just go pick it up
and I just sit home and I watch hours of people.
They shoot people's
midsections a lot of the time
if they want to do a report on
fitness.
Go down to the beach, people walking around.
I wish they do instead of obesity crisis or whatever.
Why are all these people so hot?
Yes.
That's a good idea.
Why are all these midsections so hot?
Sexiness crisis.
Yes.
Yeah.
What's with all the sex appeal, people?
It's reached record numbers and we have to stop it.
I think that's a good news story.
So is that the podcast pilot project or something?
Can we do something with that?
Is there a news thing?
Every episode is a guy.
What?
A strange guy, yes?
He's a bit unusual, wouldn't you admit?
Oh, I'll explain the show.
Yes, each episode is a pilot for a podcast that is being made by and starring a different character,
each of which are played by...
A different character.
A different character, yes.
All male, Sean.
Yeah, that's true.
They are all male.
Surprise, surprise.
And the men are a bit unusual, would you say?
Yeah, fairly unusual, I guess I would say.
Sounds pretty good.
So we have to do a bunch of these.
We're just going to do them.
We're just going to do them all.
Rip it.
We can do one where...
You know, I work very hard on these.
They're carefully crafted characters,
and it takes an enormous amount of effort
for each one of these episodes.
So I don't know.
Okay.
Well, then we'll work hard too
Okay alright
We're just gonna do all six of them here tonight
Fucking guy
And again trying to work on the climate strike
So
He's saying instead of doing that
Let's do work
And we're all hearing this
Yeah
So that's two
Doing climate strike the right way
and one you decide.
Yeah.
Oh, no, I always get work done on the climate strike.
There's more work for you.
Yeah.
Climate strike day, I'm out there working like a dog.
You've got a jackhammer in the middle of the...
You bet I am.
Gas-powered jackhammer.
The most visible work.
Climate scab.
This guy was waiting for it.
Really?
He's like, is somebody going to say it?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to fucking explode.
Just letting you know I was there first.
Yeah.
Just come up and do it next time.
Shit, man.
Just grab the fucking mic, dude.
I don't want to do this You're not doing it
Oh that's true
You said it brother
Back to school idea
That is also
Podcast pilot project idea
And the two can coexist
A guy who has
accidentally
been placed at
French People College.
Mmm.
And is this
feeling like our show?
It's a paper
mistake and he has been
assigned to do the official
podcast of French People College. Okay. the official podcast of French People College.
Okay.
I have questions about French People College.
Sure.
Is this a college in France?
Are you your guy already?
Am I the guy already?
Yeah.
You're sure?
It seems like what he would say, right?
If we're doing six of these, if we're doing six of them,
we might as well just get started.
Yeah, we should be in.
Yeah.
All right.
Welcome to the French People College podcast.
Hmm. All right, welcome to the French People College podcast. All right.
This is a pilot for a new podcast taking place here at French College,
and I have two guests here who are students at French College.
Sacre bleu.
Bonjour.
Ne parlez-vous anglais? Continuez pas. It sounds like you said you don't speak English.
Is that correct?
Is that what you...
Wow.
That's amazing when someone is so good at a language
that it doesn't even sound like that language.
Oh, yeah.
Bonjour.
Oui.
Est-ce que tu parles anglais?
Oh, quoi ça, dude?
Oh, no.
I mean, quoi ça?
Oh.
This is wild. I mean, Iissant. Oh, this is wild.
I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing at French college.
It's a real mistake.
I'm not French.
Yeah, so that's episode one.
Wow, all right.
We're a sixth of the way done.
That's great.
We never even found out my character's name,
and that's good, because that's the hardest part,
is coming up with their names.
Yeah, I can tell from your shows.
Very hard.
They're crazy. The names are
nuts. Out of this world.
The names sometimes
make me run and hide.
Maybe we work backwards
from a name. Maybe we get
from the audience.
Get a name from the audience.
Sure they do. Audience participation? Yes. It, get a name from the audience. They love this shit. Sure they do. Yes.
Audience participation?
Yes.
Oh, it's always a bad idea.
Oh, no.
That sounds great.
Get a name from the audience
and then we'll build
the pilot podcast from there.
Maybe we get
a first name
from one person
and a last name
from another.
You seem to have
a lot of ideas.
What's a good first name for a podcast character that Andy could do?
Thank you.
Don't pitch something that's out of his range.
Thank you.
He wants to be a man.
Okay.
Okay.
We might be moving on to another audience member.
Yes.
Here I am thinking we are in the safest suggestion territory.
Yeah, there's kind of only one way to screw that up.
Yeah.
For the home listener, he suggested Andy.
Thank you.
I just didn't want to spare you that humiliation.
He did say it comes to mind
He did suggest it
He just said this is what is happening
He said Andy comes to mind
So you're backing away from that being your suggestion?
You're just reporting the news that it came to mind?
Or is he saying that's your name?
That is
Andy comes to mind
Interesting It's like an ASMR enjoyer Andy comes to mind.
Interesting.
It's like an ASMR enjoyer.
Anyway.
An enjoyer.
Yeah, he's having little brain gasms.
He comes to mind.
This one is harder than the last one.
Yeah, well, let's get a different name then.
Let's get a different name.
Clifford.
Oh, okay.
That could be interesting.
Wow.
He's a dog. He's something of a little hellion in the Martin Short movie.
Oh, yes.
There's areas.
He's a mailman who's good at Jeopardy on the show Cheers.
And a last name?
Hepatitis.
Who said not Hepatitis?
What was that?
Dog.
Clifford Dog.
So we're narrowing the scope. Clifford Dog. So we're narrowing the scope.
Clifford Dog.
Could be.
Yeah, I feel bad that I made so much fun of Andy
as a suggestion.
Could be.
How about this?
A podcast about Clifford Dog,
the human inspiration for the character
Clifford the Big Red Dog.
A very large discolored man.
character, Clifford the Big Red Dog.
A very large, discolored man.
Could that be interesting?
No, but let's do it
anyway. Yeah. He's gotta
be rich as hell.
Hi, and welcome to
I Am Not a Dog.
I am Clifford
Dog. This is my podcast pilot. I'm making a dog. I am Clifford Dog.
This is my podcast pilot.
I'm making a pilot.
I hope it becomes a regular podcast.
And I did this pilot just to raise awareness that I am not a dog.
I was the inspiration for the very famous Clifford the Big Red Dog character.
And I do live with a little girl named Emily Elizabeth.
And we do live on Birdwell Island but I am not a dog
and I am unusually large
due to a deficiency of
well the doctors can't nail it down
but I'm bright red
my guests for this podcast are uh uh the you immortalized me as uh clifford in this goddamn
book series yeah tell them your name uh again it's a conrad bird or something like that
sagre blue oh shit i forgot that guy's french and i i i, I'm just someone you kind of beckoned inside.
Yeah.
It seemed like right before you had to record.
Yeah.
I just want to say you, I would never have thought you were a dog.
Thank you.
Necessarily.
No, thank you very much.
But what you are is very unclear.
But it's not a dog.
It's very clear.
I'm a human man. I'm just very, very large. Lar it's not a dog. It's very clear. I'm a human man.
I'm just very, very large,
larger than you would expect,
and it kind of seems like,
what happened there?
Right.
And I'm bright red.
And I work here at,
this is my watch repair shop,
and I record the podcast out of here,
and you were just walking by.
Gosh, what an unusual job
for a very large person to take
working with just the smallest gears
and most precise instruments you could imagine.
And just looking around your shop here,
it doesn't look like it's going great.
Everything is somehow, I mean,
I didn't know a watch part could be smushed.
Yeah.
You have smushed all this
stuff.
Well, that's true, but only
because of my gigantic hands.
Okay, yeah. And so
I have no choice but to smush the watches.
I just want to say the effect,
like your size and the coloration
and stuff, I think it is made a little
worse by the
nudity.
Well, and I would love to be
wearing clothes. You just tell
me where I can find some that will fit this body.
Okay.
The store.
What's your next suggestion? Because I've tried
the store. Okay.
I've been to like a couple of them.
I am gigantically large. Did you been to like a couple of them. Okay. Alright. I am gigantically
large. Did you make any money
off this? No. I never...
Oh, finish your sentence.
But I have not made any money off of anything.
Oh, so even... Even off the books, huh?
My bad.
You know I didn't make
any money off of those goddamn books. I couldn't remember
you know, contract stuff.
It's all, you know,
gibberish. No, but
that sucks, dude. That sucks, man.
I mean, I just
saw you and I was like,
I don't think people would really want to see that
as a guy, but as a dog.
It is true.
People don't seem to want to see
me as a guy.
So that's the second episode.
All right.
Man, we're trucking.
This is great.
We're a third of the way done.
Yeah, and it's feeling good.
The payoff is the same.
You see what I'm saying?
No.
From working on it and not working on it.
Oh, no, I do see what you're saying.
Now I feel like an idiot because I'm literally
typing up outlines.
Yeah, putting all this time in, writing music
and stuff.
It is mostly writing music.
You're in the lab all night.
Yes, the comedy lab.
The comedy lab.
Let's do another show.
What's another guy
like to do?
What's like a character
that you have always wanted to play?
And it can be,
the thing for podcasts,
it can be a fictional character
that already exists.
What?
Yum.
What does that mean,
a fictional character that already exists?
You mean somebody else's bit?
What are you talking about?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wasn't necessarily saying somebody else's bit,
although I have been known to pick and choose.
I'm something of a heat seeker.
You think the ladies doing the office podcast
went and asked and were like,
hey, is it okay?
Can we talk about this show every episode?
No, they just do it.
Yeah, think about that.
Yeah.
You do whatever you want.
Yeah.
But it could be, it's not necessarily stealing a bit,
but it is stealing intellectual property.
Yes.
Okay.
So a podcast pilot built around stealing intellectual property?
Yes, but you can't search a sound.
And so if you name the show something else,
you can do whatever you want in the sound part,
and they cannot find it.
They're searching around for like the name of their
Who's they?
I'm lost
But it's alright
It's like all the lawyers
Oh I see what you're saying
The lawyers are on the computer
And they're searching for the name of Snoopy
Or whoever it is that they have
So if I have a podcast called Let's Talk About Snoopy
Or I Am Snoopy
I Am Snoopy Then I Am Snoopy.
Then they'll be like, hey, no, you're not.
Yeah.
Even if in the podcast you were being Clifford Dogg or something else.
Hey, you're kind of capitalizing, making money off of Snoopy.
But if you call it, I mean, what's something you could call it?
Fucking.
Maybe something unappealing, like this podcast actually smells bad somehow.
This podcast sucks.
It smells.
This smells.
So, yeah, you could call it that.
But then once you're in there, you could do like...
Hey, it's me, Snoopy.
Yes.
You could do a really beloved character.
Maybe it's not a...
All right, welcome to This Smells.
This is the podcast that smells horrible.
No one should listen.
All right.
Now that...
Now that all the people with sensitive noses,
all those fucking lawyers have been scared away
by the threat of a bad smell,
you know who I am.
I'm fucking Snoopy over here.
Snoopy the dog.
I live on a dog house.
And I'm a World War I flying ace in my fantasies.
You know who I'm interviewing, too?
I got old, old Charlie Brown here.
Okay, take it away, Charlie.
Come on, you guys.
We can do whatever the fuck we want.
The lawyers aren't listening.
It's me.
I am Charlie Brown.
Yeah.
I'm a little kid.
I love to wear shorts.
Sure you do, every day.
You're in always shorts.
It is famous that I am bald.
Yeah, what's up with that?
I actually am just a little kid.
And so I don't know
How old are you Charlie Brown?
The science of my head
Is an adult subject
And for a little kid
I don't understand
I am one year old
I'm surprised that you're that young
Yes Charlie Brown is one year old
It's time for the Woodstock Minute I'm surprised that you're that young. Yes, Charlie Brown is one year old. It's time for the Woodstock Minute.
I'm Woodstock, and I got something to say,
and it's going to take about a minute.
Why?
Like, what's going on?
I mean, everyone is annoying me.
Okay, so let's get real.
People are so annoying.
I was trying to do ice skating on my birdbath the other day.
And then somebody comes over and is like,
don't do that.
I mean, I was ready to just about just, you know, fly away.
That's a three panel structure.
Yeah.
It's funnier than a lot of Peanuts cartoons.
Yeah.
Is that the end of the Woodstock Minute?
How long has it been?
No one's timing it.
Well, that'll do you then.
Okay, Woodstock Minute.
Wrap it up in three,
two,
one.
And it's only ten more seconds left now.
We counted down to the last ten seconds
and we are on our way out
Man
I don't think this pilot is going to get picked up
Well none of them did
None of your others did either
That's true, none of them have been picked up
Seems wrong
How do you build a character
That's the end of that show
How do you build a character? That's the end of that show.
How do you build a character?
Thank you.
That's okay.
Because the way we're starting... We did, for Andy Chews,
the Peanuts world is populated with many female characters.
We did choose three male ones.
So it would fit with the Andy Daly podcast pilot.
There are women on the Podcast Pilot Project,
women playing women.
It is true, though, that in every case,
men have played men.
You have a good point there.
But it was a long time ago.
It was a different time.
We got to think about this stuff.
Yeah, I mean
We certainly have grown since then
Yeah
Alright
What were you saying?
Were you in the middle of a thought?
What?
Oh you were gonna ask me
How I developed the character
Yeah because the way we're going
I don't know
I don't know
You don't know?
I don't know
So what happens
For you at all?
I don't know
You don't know
So you're effectively an awaking blackout.
And later on, you'll listen to your own show and go, whoa, who made this?
Yeah, it's like that.
No, Scott Aukerman will send me an email and say, will you please come and do Comedy Bang Bang?
And I will go into a panic and then try to come up with a new character.
Let's talk about some of these guys.
There's Cowboy Head.
Yeah.
It's got the head of a cowboy and the body of also a cowboy.
That's Dalton Wilcox, cowboy poet.
Poet laureate of the West.
Yeah.
Yep.
He's a bit of an odd guy. Sure he is. Yep. Yep. He's a bit of an odd guy.
Sure he is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were right before
when you said that
they were all unusual.
A tad unusual.
I'd say.
I'd say.
There's the lecherous perv.
Yeah.
Don DeMello.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People are making
strange sounds
in the audience.
He's the... We don't have them to clap for a lecherous perv.
He's the director of the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular.
And a legendary pervert.
He's a little offbeat.
I'd say.
Bit of a screw loose in my opinion.
Seem like it.
One or two sandwiches short of a freaking picnic.
in my opinion.
Seem like it, yeah.
One or two sandwiches short of a freaking picnic.
And then there's a guy
with something of a dark streak, huh?
Kind of.
I think that's all of them.
Yeah, okay.
There's a number of other characters.
Yeah.
It's fine that you don't know them
because I can't think of any more either.
Yeah.
You give him a guy.
You always are having guys.
You're always coming up with all these monsters and characters.
It's true.
Who draws these monsters?
I do, yeah.
How many have we done?
We've done three.
We've done three.
We need to do three more.
It's going great.
It's gotten better and better.
What you want is for the show to pick up steam
in just this exact way.
The three that we have are
the official French People College podcast,
I Am Not a Dog by Clifford Dog.
Oh, yeah.
This smells bad podcast by Snoopy.
This podcast smells bad. Don't listen to it.
Yeah.
A.K.A. Snoopy podcast.
The more we say it,
the more likely we are to get in trouble.
Which I thought was smart, by the way, when you did that one.
The beginning was still
that the podcast stuck.
Just in case they listened to the very beginning.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, because they might see the title
and say, I'm familiar with this old trick.
This is probably an intellectual
property being stolen left and right.
I'm going to tune in and then they wouldn't listen to the
first five seconds and go, okay.
I stand corrected.
Yeah, that's good.
Hollywood Handbook. be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed
language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or
waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you.
I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about.
But there's one language that I'm trying to learn.
And that's body language.
Can Babbel teach me body language?
Yes.
language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10 minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start
speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real
conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop
someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger
and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their
finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider
down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something
like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks
like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got
like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle
and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost
and they're really aggressively
like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it at
the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle
body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babbles tips and tools are
approachable accessible rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time,
and delivered with conversation-based teaching
so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.
Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others.
Can't feel good to be others there.
Continued to prove Babbel is better.
One study found that using babble for 15 hours is equivalent to a
full semester at college babble has over 60 million subscriptions sold all 14 all of their
14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee here's a special
limited time deal for our listeners right now get 55 off your babble subscription but only for our listeners right now. Get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel.com
slash the boys. Get 55%
off at Babbel.com
slash the boys spelled B-A-B-
E-L dot com
slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L
B-A-B-B-
E-L dot
B-A-B-B-E-L dot com
slash the boys. Rules
and restrictions may apply.
With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy,
but you'll always be glad you did it.
Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.
Eating better is easy with factors.
Delicious, ready-to-eat meals.
Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted,
dietitian-approved, ready to go in just two minutes.
Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes, Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh, never frozen meals.
Now, this is different, Kevin.
I just want to establish.
It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients.
Like, this is the meal.
The meal has to be ready.
It's not a recipe.
Okay?
This is the meal.
You cook the full meal for us now, Kevin.
You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet.
You're actually doing the cooking.
And there are 35 different options to choose from every week
including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them
okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and
feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and
it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal.
The promises the meal makes a sleepy.
You've been pushing that so much.
You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.
Yeah.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.
It's supposed to help you stay a lot of these.
I know give you a ton of energy.
They have like smoothies and things like that.
This is wrong.
Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second?
It's you in your bed?
The bed.
I got clippy.
Fuel up fast with Factor's restaurant-quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are.
Pancake, smoothies, and more.
Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day, like breakfast, midday bites, and more.
This is not even up for consideration.
So let's just hear what the actual meal was.
What was the food?
I don't want to go to bed.
It's very simple.
It's one huge chicken nugget.
Sign up and save.
We've done the math.
Factor is less expensive than takeout.
Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious.
Head to factormeals.com slash the
boys 50 and use code the boys 50 to get 50% off. That's code the boys 50 at factormeals.com slash
the boys 50 to get 50% off. Hey guys, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and
cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. You
can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap.
I never have to get on the phone with customer service.
The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize
what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from
the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me
by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think
it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they
didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small
for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing.
Yeah.
One of them was a... It was a vinaigrette.
It was a raspberry vinaigrette.
It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
They'll even try to get you a refund
for the last couple months of wasted money
and negotiate to lower your bills for you
by up to 20%.
All you have to do is take a picture of your bill
and Rocket Money takes care of the rest.
They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members
an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions.
And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent,
that $500 million, most of that was the dresses.
Well, yeah, I mean, you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that
was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use
cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys hollywood handbook well i draw these
crazy monsters andy when i close my eyes i'll see like
oscar the grouch like some of the most fucked up shit you could imagine.
Oh.
The freaking Grover and the Cookie Monster.
I mean, when I close my eyes, it's a horror show in there.
And if we could somehow turn that into a podcast pilot project episode.
Man, that'd be something
else.
Wah!
Okay, so, wow.
I'm back.
He thought of a monster.
It looked, it sort of, well,
it's Oscar the Grouch,
Andy.
Yeah, I know what he looks like.
But.
Yeah, but.
Oh.
Yeah, he has.
Now I'm engaged.
Human skin.
Yeah.
It's not good.
Under the green fur or instead of the green fur?
Instead, friend.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
And this is something to think about.
Instead of doing all these different kinds of guys,
you can just do humanoid versions of fictional creatures.
We played in this space a lot.
We did it with Clifford,
and now we just do it again.
Yeah.
That's Oscar the Grouch.
Yeah, with Oscar the Grouch.
And we did it really with Snoopy.
We've done it.
We did, yeah,
because Snoopy doesn't really talk.
Snoopy didn't do any dog stuff at all.
No, that's a good point.
He was just a guy.
He's just a guy claiming to be Snoopy.
Yeah.
I think he kind of got off on it, to be honest.
Now, here's something that I am actually worried about.
This podcast may stink for real.
In what sense of the word?
Well, I have bad news for you about Oscar the Grouch.
Oh, no.
He lives in a fucking garbage can.
He is obsessed with the garbage can and trash.
He loves trash.
Banana peel.
Yeah.
Can.
Milk carton sour milk curdled within.
Welcome to this podcast.
This one really does smell bad.
I am
Oscar the Grouch with human skin.
And this is my podcast
pilot.
And I'm a real grouch.
And my guests
are two of my prisoners here in
my trash can.
How did you...
Now, you were just the guy taking out the trash,
and I came up and grabbed you and dragged you down here
into the labyrinth of my underground trash complex.
Yes, I am a trash man.
I am Dave Delvin.
I am from the Off Book episode
that Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements did of Off Book.
Please go listen to it.
I was the trash man in that episode.
This is a tie-in with Off Book?
It's an old Off Book tie-in, probably behind the paywall.
It's archived?
It's got to be archived at this point.
It's the only way that the company can even pretend to be viable.
So let's get it.
But it's well worth your $349 a month to hear that one alone.
Yes, to go back and listen to that and then get this reference for this,
which will soon be archived as well.
Blink and you miss it in terms of archiving these things.
Is that right?
Yeah.
I don't listen to any podcasts.
Well, I don't blame you, pal.
Now, this trash prison I'm in, how come you...
You're in the prison part of the trash can.
The trash can, as viewers of Sesame Street know, is vast.
It is a vast underworld. Oh, yeah. Grouchland. I'm on Grouchland. as viewers of Sesame Street know, is vast.
It is a vast underworld.
Oh, yeah.
Grouchland.
I'm on Grouchland.
What?
I'm on Grouchland.
Grouchland.
It's Grouchland.
It's the whole land of Grouchland.
That's fine.
Part of it is a prison.
Let's talk to our other prisoner.
How did you end up in here?
I am a humanoid version of Fozzie Bear.
I'm a human that he was based on.
I do a lot of podcasts like this.
I'm sort of a podcast comedian.
And I guess I'm just taking this opportunity to say I really appreciate SNL
giving me a chance.
When you do as many
podcasts as I do,
you're gonna
take some swings and
some of them are gonna miss.
Obviously, you've gotta take a big risk.
If you are pushing
to the absolute edge
of human decency
There's no other way
to be a comedian.
Certainly on a podcast.
But I was funny enough
to get on SNL
which apparently means something to me.
That can never be taken away
from you, except
by SNL. Yes, except
this one case, yes.
I've been told that it can, yes.
Yes.
And you are a woman.
Yes, I am.
Well, it's 2019. Yes.
It's 2019. I am a woman.
Fozzie Bear could be a woman now.
I should come clean about something.
Yes, garbage man.
I'm a bit of a ravenous little monster
when it comes to collecting trash.
And that's that show.
Oh.
Here's, I got a meme.
Oh, I love memes.
I'm wild about memes. It's the Joker trailer.
Oh, yeah.
But it's just clips of Fozzie Bear going around,
doing his comedy and stuff.
But it's the voiceover from the Joker trailer.
Yeah.
And Fozzie is the one that's like,
that's a can't miss.
That's a can't
miss me.
That meme
is so choice, Hayes.
Don't give it away.
I knew Andy
would like it. He loves visual stuff.
I'm wild about visual stuff and memes.
I spent a solid, I don't want to exaggerate, 15 minutes on the internet with the picture
of Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker on the poster image where he's kind of looking up at the
sky.
Yeah.
Looking for, I believed that there was a similar image of Bono as McFisto.
Wow.
And I just wanted to have them side by side and see if, is that a tweet?
But I couldn't find a suitable McFisto picture.
You know, comedy is about taking risks.
Not everything is going taking risks. You gotta... Not everything is gonna work.
I wanted it just...
I mean, I wanted the same pose,
and I couldn't find that.
But the payoff.
I know, the sweet payoff.
Strange lack of photos of McFisto on Google Images.
That's fucking me up.
You would have gone so damn viral.
No shit. I would have had like... You wouldn't be hanging damn viral. No shit.
I would have had like...
You wouldn't be hanging out with us clowns.
That would have been like 79 likes.
Oh, yeah.
I can taste it now.
Any more names?
You all should have been coming up with names.
Somebody must have come up with a name by now.
Gort Carl.
Gort Carl.
This is very good.
I do like that.
That's very strong.
Okay.
I'm coming up with an idea of Gort.
All right, please.
Jort
is Jean Short. Yes? Alright, no, please. Jort is jean short.
Yes, we can all agree.
Gort is grass short.
Much like the traditional grass skirt of the Hawaiian islets.
Much like the traditional grass skirt of the Hawaiian islets.
But Gort is outfitted in grass shorts.
There's no other way this could possibly have gone.
Yes.
So he's the guy who wears grass shorts. He is a older
white man who has retired to
the Hawaiian Islands
and has adopted a lot of their
culture, in particular
on his shorts.
Great.
Don't forget his last name is
Carl. Yes.
If that informs
anything. Aloha!
And welcome to
The Hawaiian Lifestyle
with me, Gort Carl.
I am a retiree
living down here on the big island and really just getting
into it. Mai Tais every day. Lays, poi, other references to Hawaii. And I am loving it, and like most people, I am named after what I am likely to turn up wearing,
which is shorts made of grass.
My guests,
my guests,
the grandson of Don Ho,
Steely Ho.
Is here today.
Hey, brother.
What's going on?
Your grandfather was a legendary
Hawaiian ukulelist and entertainer.
You said it, not me.
And are you carrying on the tradition?
You're asking if I play the ukulele? Yes. Nope.
Okay. Can you sing a little of your grandfather's
most famous song, Tiny Bubbles? Oh, yeah.
These little bubbles. Damn, these little
damn bubbles getting every nook and cranny don't they
dear man I'm gonna be picking these bubbles out for a week well that's a
different take on a classic hot hot new take not surprised from the young generation.
What are you now, Z or Y?
Who gives a fuck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My other guest is a volcano.
Yeah.
Hey, brother.
Hey, what's up?
I'm a volcano.
Why? Are you active at this point?
Boy, just sort of looking at my career, I would love to say yes, but the town has other
ideas.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
Business has been terrible.
Nobody really wants me to do that.
There's no market for it.
I can talk a little bit about that.
I am, of course, this volcano's manager.
I scored him a Pixar short a few years ago.
That's huge.
Yeah, he was sort of an older male volcano.
There was a love story with him
like a younger island or something.
I don't
recall it perfectly, obviously.
And I should have read the script
closer at the time. I can't tell you what
happens in that dim sum
Pixar short. These things
are illusory. Ephemeral.
You forget them. But you go back.
People love it.
People love this thing.
They did briefly, and then they were pissed.
But you go back, and you're like, let's do another one of these.
You've done a million with frigging cowboy head.
Who also has the body of a cowboy.
Yes.
Yeah.
Why not more with this volcano?
People are kind of mad about it,
but maybe we do it right this time.
Yeah, maybe fix some of the stuff.
Did you erupt in the short?
I don't remember.
Because I feel like if it stars a volcano...
It was off camera.
And by the time they set up the camera and stuff,
I was already done.
It's hard to time it exactly right.
I'm sure.
But I would be.
If something features a volcano and it doesn't erupt,
as an audience member, I feel ripped off.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like a short movie before the rest of the movie.
So I guess you have your money back.
I mean, there's a whole other movie.
You have your fucking money back. I mean, there's a whole other movie.
Here's your fucking refund to watch.
What fraction of my ticket price was the short?
A quarter.
A quarter?
Yeah.
I would take it back.
Thank you.
I don't really have it.
Well, I hope this pilot gets picked up.
This one feels good.
That's all the time we have for whatever the name of this was.
Hey, sorry, I'm a new person coming in here.
Oh, a new person coming in.
It's me, your son.
Oh, shit.
Smith Carl.
Hi, Smith.
Please.
I see you're wearing your Smiths.
Yes.
Please come back to the continental United States.
Your family misses you on the mainland.
You have a huge family and a wife.
Yes, I have a wife and 13 children.
Your wife, Dress Carl.
We have 206 grandchildren.
Sorry, can I leave for this part?
No, you may not.
But you just... I can't even tell you, the Hawaiian lifestyle is just irresistible.
I love it more than any of you.
I've heard a lot of talk about the lifestyle lately.
Is this the volcano or my son?
This is the son.
Okay.
He's part of the lifestyle.
What is it about the beachy lifestyle?
You feed up pina colada on hand and John Grisham in your lap.
It's an escape.
So that's the end of that show.
That can be it.
That's fine.
I like that one.
It brought in some family drama.
Yeah.
Is that six?
Well, I think it's five.
We are basically out of time.
It's a bad baker's six.
Yeah.
Can I say it was five that felt like six?
Right.
Yeah, at least.
Well, the six is the main one that we're doing.
Oh.
Right?
Oh, wow.
This is one.
What do you call this?
This is even one.
This is a podcast pilot where you guys make me do five podcast pilots.
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah, thank you.
Everyone else is teaming up.
Yeah, right.
Have you noticed this?
No.
Who's teaming up?
Oh, they didn't tell you?
Oh, Andy.
Andy, no. Andy, no.
Oh, man.
That kills me.
Andy sees Scott and Lapkus and PFT
coming out of a podcast studio,
and he's like, hey, guys.
Yeah, what's going on, guys?
Yeah, looks like you just finished having a really good time.
What's going on up there?
What was that, a comedy bang-bang? You banking one?
really good time. What's going on up there?
What was that? A comedy bang bang? You banking one?
We could do one more. I mean, I think
we have a lot more time.
Oh, okay. Great.
That's my understanding. I think we
have to do at least one more.
Really? Oh, I was sure we
were done.
Time to me is so elastic.
I can't get with this Western concept of time.
What's Eastern time?
It's three hours later.
I'll see you later, everybody.
No, don't go.
I'm not, I'm not.
I'm just stretching it out.
And if I could get real for a second.
You know, there'd be no podcast pilots without you guys.
Does anyone want to come up and be in one?
The only thing better than them staying there and talking is them coming up here. That's the only thing better than them staying there and talking is them coming
up here. That's the
only thing better? That's the only better thing.
Well, we don't have a fourth microphone.
Otherwise, I'd say sure.
Okay.
There's no room on this chair.
What am I seeing over here?
What's funny
to me right now is that
Kevin has been backstage the whole time
and sort of wondering when he's going to get to come out and do something.
And I just forgot.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if Kevin has an idea for a podcast pilot.
Yeah.
Kevin?
Yay.
Hey.
Hey.
You brought your own microphone.
That's what it's come to with Kevin.
That's the level of assuming
that happens with Kevin.
Hey guys, Chef Kevin here.
You have an idea for a podcast?
It's called Nice Boat.
Okay.
Most of these have been built around
sort of a strange guy.
It's hosted by one.
Okay.
Shit, man.
Yeah, that is what we've been doing.
This chair was too big for one person,
but it's too small for two.
Yeah.
You want to switch with me, Andy?
No.
Good call.
Tell us more about Great Boat.
Nice, nice boat.
Nice boat.
So you're reviewing different boats with guests.
He's married to nice instead of great.
That can't be Great Boat.
This is a podcast.
No, Andy, I've been in podcasting for a little while.
I think I know what I'm doing.
The show is called Nice Boat.
It is better.
It is better.
Yeah, it is.
And he's reviewing boats?
Yes, he's reviewing the guest boat.
Okay.
So the guests bring their boat on, and then you review it.
Okay.
So they kind of, like, honk their horn.
As maybe you're doing, like like a monologue at the top.
Oh, who's that?
Okay.
Okay, so you have been assigned
a monologue.
Wouldn't have been my
suggestion.
I want everyone to have a good time.
Classic or contemporary?
Good evening,
and welcome to Great Boat.
Formerly Nice Boat,
but the boats have just been great.
And
this is a podcast
where I will be reviewing my guest's boat.
Oh, thank God.
Get out of the fucking way.
I do do this podcast from the middle of a canal.
And there's usually a bunch of boats behind us here
that want to get through.
But this is from Hurley Burley.
What are you doing?
Hey, you doing a nice boat up there?
It's a great boat now.
Oh, never mind.
No, but it was a nice boat.
I can't hear you.
Yeah.
Well, someone will come along and we'll review their boat.
Oh, boy.
Who's this now?
Hello.
Hey, you doing great, boat?
Yes.
What do you do if nobody shows up with a boat?
Well, if no one, it hasn't happened yet, but I do have a plan for it.
I would just do a second monologue.
He's got to have that
motor looked at.
Doesn't sound good at all.
I heard that.
You heard that?
Oh, hello there, sailor.
Hey, it's me,
Mary Holland. I'm the scheduled
guest of the podcast.
Oh, hi, Mary.
As you can see, I'm like five boats behind.
I do see that.
In this back wall.
That is a problem.
Can you do it from here?
Can you like see the boat?
I can see it.
It's not ideal.
Okay, I thought the show was called Great Boat, but.
The boat is fine.
The situation is not ideal.
Yep,
I can see you've got a really nice boat.
Looks like there's plenty of room
to walk around the deck
and below decks.
Looks like it's
seaworthy.
And I like how you've
painted it. I think,
Mary Holland, you've got a
great boat.
Thanks for being on the podcast.
Okay, I stand corrected.
That was pretty good.
I was a little worried about that one.
So, back to school.
What is it about the changing leaves?
We need one audience guest.
We'll do one audience guest and then we're out.
Can we get the lights up?
This is one issue that I'm predicting is
all of the people that go to our shows
just go to every show in the country.
It's all the same people in like a clump.
They just like clump together
and they just move from city to city now.
So they will have to sort of untangle their hair
for one of them to get onto the stage.
It's just like the clumps.
Does anyone want to be a guest on the final episode
of New Season Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project?
Anyone.
Yes, you.
Please.
She's insisting.
There's a mic over here.
That one didn't work. I tested it.
Kevin, are we...
Are you leaving?
Kevin's gone.
I didn't know that was an option.
Hi.
That was so interesting.
She gestured to the chair as if asking Andy to sit down.
Oh, yeah.
But Andy already was sitting down.
It was an, am I allowed to go right there?
It was incoming.
I'm sitting here.
And so you had fair warning.
I did.
And I appreciate it.
Hi, I'm Andy. Hi, I'm Andy.
Hi, I'm Francesca.
Hi, Francesca.
Francesca,
sounds like someone
who would go to
French people college.
Was that one
hitting a little
close to home?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was
offensive to my
people.
I did get
an ancestry.com
thing done
and I think I have
like a 3%.
It's an Italian name.
Yes, yes.
No, we know.
Obviously, we know that.
Yeah, you can sense that.
But if you're going,
that's why you would have to go to French people college.
Yes.
If you're French, you don't have to go there.
So thank you for using your time
to spread the message about your theory
that French and Italian people are a different race.
Controversial.
Your name is Francesca.
Andy, I mean, are you just going to play Francesca?
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, it sounds like she wants you to play herself.
Is that your idea?
With a heavy Italian accent.
Okay, I'm getting it.
That's the signal that I'm getting here.
I'm getting it.
So Francesca's pitch is you're like a stereotypical Italian chef.
Okay, Francesca, if that's what you need to hear.
Okay, I do have to come clean though before we think this is okay.
That same ancestry thing did tell me that I have 0% Italian heritage.
Okay.
It was a real shock to my worldview.
Really?
Yeah, one of my last names is Tricama.
So this is almost like a fantasy scenario for you.
Yes, the Italian version of me.
Francesca, what are you passionate about?
Oh, God.
No, it's all bad.
Okay.
Then we don't have to do it.
No, that's...
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no pressure whatsoever.
If every single thing
that you're passionate about
is bad,
we can do something else.
Maybe something you're not passionate about.
Yes.
Something good.
It has to be that.
Yes.
Francesca, what could you say
that would make you sound decent?
No, I'm kidding.
Go ahead.
What were you going to say?
When you said,
what could I say that I could sound decent?
No, when you said,
when you were excited to say something.
Well, okay.
Well, no, so I have a good thing that I,
but it sucks because the first thing
that I thought of when he said passionate
was like, oh, I like comedy, and that made me want to. That's bad. Oh, okay. Well, no, so I have a good thing that I, but it sucks because the first thing that I thought of when he said passionate was like, oh, I like comedy
and that made me want to... That's bad.
Oh, yeah. Very bad. That'd be the most
embarrassing thing for me to say. Yes, can't do it here.
Boo is right. Thank you.
But no, I'm
very passionate about popcorn.
Okay. Popcorn, yup.
Now we're on to something.
Yes. This is the Italian chef
who makes popcorn parmesan.
Fantastic.
Welcome to That's a Nicer Popcorn!
It's me, Popcorn Luigi.
I make a gourmet popcorn.
I'm a corn Luigi. I make a gourmet popcorn.
My guest today is Francesca,
and she is here with some explosive news.
No pun intended with a pop, you know,
it's explode in the pan.
From Ancestry.com
Francesca, you've done Ancestry.com
and we want to hear all about it.
Here on...
That's nice popcorn.
Well, I was really surprised
because what I ended up doing
was not Ancestry.com, but Ancestry.com.
Beep, beep.
Oh, look at that.
Hey, get the fuck out of my way.
As you know, we hosted this podcast from a canal in Venice.
The popcorn capital of the world.
And sometimes the people come through with a boat.
And they get a hot under the collar. We're hosting a podcast!
Fantastic. What do you call those guys in a gondola?
Gondoliers. Great. I'm glad they got bike horns. Yes, the gondoliers have a bike of horns.
There's so much traffic these days, you know.
It's almost like Venice in California.
I've never been to that place.
Hey, Luigi, toss me a piece of the popcorn.
What did you say?
Toss you a piece of popcorn?
Toss me a piece of the popcorn and catch it in my mouth.
Hey!
We usually save this for the end of the show.
We're going to toss the popcorn from boat to boat in the canals of Venice, Italy.
And he's going to catch it in his mouth.
Here we go!
Here we go!
Oh, it fell into your water.
You pick that fucking piece of popcorn out of that canal.
I'm going, Luigi, I'm going.
You picking that piece of popcorn.
This is a gourmet popcorn.
You don't let it fall in a fucking canal.
You savor that soggy kernel.
I'm eating it.
I'm savoring the popcorn.
Luigi, can you lift the wicked curse
that's placed on me?
Oh, this fucking guy
again.
Wasn't it a curse?
Wasn't it a curse again?
Some sort of evil supernatural thing.
I'm one of Stephen King's
The Gondoliers.
Remember?
Stephen King.
I don't think Stephen King remembers that one.
Come on.
It wasn't too apart a miniseries.
Two parts.
That's very many.
You can't even call that a miniseries.
Okay, I will try to live the curse.
Okay.
I don't feel anything.
You have to step into my pan.
I'm going to fry you in oil.
Okay.
That's what's going to solve the curse.
I have a gigantic pan. I fill it with oil. Okay. That's what's gonna solve the curse. I have a gigantic
pan. I fill it with
oil. And you're gonna
lie down in there.
Okay, lie down in
the oil.
Maybe it's gonna get rid of a curse. Hey, that's nice.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow. Ooh.
How are you feeling now?
Deb.
Hey, Luigi, you Papa Waluigi.
Hey, we got rid of the curse, didn't we?
Hey.
By killing a man in oil.
That's our show.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you, Francesca.
Thank you, Andy.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Richard Mille Michelle Falcone Rupert Grint
Small, small, small
Small, small, small
Here comes Hayes and Sean
Hollywood Hamburg
That was a HeadGum Podcast.