Hollywood Handbook - Annie Murphy and Mary Hollis Inboden, Our 400th Episode Friends
Episode Date: June 15, 2021The Boys welcome ANNIE MURPHY and MARY HOLLIS INBODEN from Kevin Can F**k Himself to listen to voicemails from guests celebrating 400 episodes of the show. Subscribe on Patreon and watch the ...full video recording of this episode here. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. are you bored? And I'm like, don't ask a question you don't want the answer to.
Like honestly,
kinda.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Big mistake asking that question.
Cause you're not going to like find out.
Hey,
I may ask that question and find out.
Yeah.
Don't.
Yeah.
Fuck around and find out.
So I'd go,
yeah,
I'm a little bored.
You know,
I'm not like that into chocolate.
And he gets,
he makes himself like big and he goes like,
I'm Willy Wonka and you're in my factory. And I'm like, not like that into chocolate and he gets he makes himself like big and he goes like i'm willy wonka
and you're in my factory and i'm like bro i was just bringing you back your ticket it looked like
you worked really hard on it like it's like on gold and it's like this whole thing like i didn't
need all this shit and then he fucking starts like trying to get me to try other candies which half these things
are like booby traps yeah have you been there yeah i've been there i i went up and i was like
can i have a little bit of chocolate please and he was like sure come in and spend the entire day
right yeah and i'm like i just want a tiny little bit of chocolate no it's your day and you get on
like a boat and then you're like i don't know how to get out from here and he's like hey i heard you don't like chocolate you want to try this gum i'm like
bitch that gum turned someone into a blueberry a minute ago and it's like come into this next room
here's more candy right it's not like a different kind of thing it's all that and just for anyone
else who's thinking of going the entire thing is is chocolate candy. No, you think it'll be something else because it's like, find a second interest.
Like, the only thing that felt good
was at one point,
he looked at one of the Oompa Loompas
to be like this guy, like about me,
and dude looked down
like he was clearly on my side.
Wow.
Like, and I was like, this is nice.
But then he tried to give it to me.
That Oompa Loompa was really nice. I met him too. That tried to give it to me it was really nice
i met him too that one was really nice the main one was so nice i feel bad he was like sick or
something he's dying right yeah that's why he was like trying to yeah he was really really sick
welcome to hollywood handbook hollywood insider's guide to kicking butt dropping names
what up what up a big
welcome to our guests it's so funny i woke up i don't want to introduce them just yet that's okay
yeah uh ladies we'll be with you in just a moment i woke up this morning and i just felt like i feel
totally the same isn't that strange physically exactly the same but i know i'm not and i was just like normal day this is a
totally normal day i go downstairs i'm making my cabbage i'm like boiling the cabbage and like it
as it's like just almost ready i realize oh my god i'm doing when is your cabbage ready i don't and
and ladies will be with you so quickly i don't want to derail this
story when is the cabbage ready for you because everybody likes their cabbage different this is
one of these questions i always ask and and we'll actually ask you this too ladies so i boil it in
the pot it's when i drop a fork in from the top and it is so done it sinks all the way through the
cabbage the cabbage has no resistance whatsoever to my
fork going through it it has to be that the cabbage disintegrates it's it basically vanishes
under the force of just a fork being for me when i open that when i open the pot and there's just
water in there that's when the cabbage is ready yeah and we will get to you in a second you can
talk about when your cabbage is done.
But for me, I had this epiphany where I'm like, I'm doing something today that no one
in podcasting, basically no one in entertainment has ever done before.
Has ever done.
400 episodes.
400.
That's the one.
That's the one you dream about.
Come on.
And that's like, this is, okay.
It's like me and Bart Simpson, basically.
Yeah.
We're doing this.
And this is nothing against any.
I know you were on a show that had a nice, long run.
Healthy run.
Nice little piece of business to you.
That was great.
Mary Hollis, I wish you both nothing but 400 episodes with this new show
will you get there no you won't get there people don't get to 400 episodes only bart simpson did
and i remember when we did episode one haze and you said imagine catching bart by the tail
put him in my pocket sean do you want to introduce? Let's introduce them.
So we have these two amazing actors and performers and entertainers
and wonderful just people here who are our friends.
And it's Annie.
And it's Mary Hollis.
And it's sweet Uncle Arnie.
Arnie Murphy, how we refer to her in our household because that's
the kind of vibe that annie brings and it's mary hollis and we call her hot dog and we don't know
why she likes it but she does her name's hot dog hi guys hi guys i want to talk more about cabbage
how do you yes when is it done when is it? Well, my cabbage also has to disintegrate at the bottom of the pot.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of salt, too.
Yeah, salt will work against that trying to disintegrate.
But if you fork it and it doesn't split apart.
Okay, the good place.
And then melt.
You know the good place.
Yeah, fork it.
Then it's not done.
It's not done.
I come in from a completely different realm of cabbage preparation.
Don't cook it.
Don't cook it.
Well, that's exactly it.
Eat it like an apple.
I do kind of like, it's like an oral gastronomy wherein I pop a piece in my mouth, let it sit there for 30 to 45 seconds.
mouth let it sit there for 30 to 45 seconds just so it starts thinking about maybe cooking a little bit changing texture just a tiny tiny bit and then i crunch and then i crunch it right down
you're using the heat from your mouth wow that's the cabbage button on the mouth microwave
and that was my dad's style my dad dad would be like, okay, time to cook
the cabbage. And he'd basically blow on it
a little like that.
He'd be like, okay, it's done.
Serve it on the table. Just roll it across the table
at me. Thanks, pops.
Oh, the full cabbage.
Yeah, just kind of roll it at me.
No, yeah, my dad, cabbage was a hand fruit
from pretty hard. He was
chomping into it. And it would get everywhere, dad. Cabbage was a hand fruit from my dad. Pretty hard. He was chomping into it. And it would get
everywhere, everywhere.
Cabbage spittle.
With a little broom. Yeah.
We would eat it like, you know, a little
like an otter. When you give an otter
like a
Everybody knows this, but go ahead.
Like a
what's that round?
Like a guava.
How they will just like eat it in like a circle. Almost like a corn a what's that round everyone knows when you give an utter oh sure how they
will just like eat it in like a circle almost like a corn cobs diet like really fast motion that's
my dad after after work you'd come home yeah i mean as long as we're still talking about
this i think um it's important to note that my grandma has one rule for making cabbage lucky
and that is actually the way that haze and i prepare it which is uh to get it really really hot otherwise it's just a coleslaw hot cabbage is a
lucky cabbage that's a lucky cabbage an apple like your apple and you're kind of taking it in your
mouth microwave it it's never gonna get lucky and you know why would you why would you ingest
something that's not gonna bring you some luck and your friends and I really want you to stay friends on this
show. I've
been doing this show with my friend
for 400 episodes
so I think I know a little something
about how to stay friends with somebody on this
show in this environment
which is I think I know a little bit
about this done it 400 times.
So yeah.
What's what Murphy? what's murpy what's that it's murpay uh any words of wisdom on maintaining a friendship gosh uh well you have to listen it helps to have a really nice
friend for starters it helps to choose well okay no stop and that's me
it helps to have a nice very handsome friend and it helps if your friend is
really funny and cool and smart and like really nice and having fun and being i don't know and
makes funny comments every episode i'll make every once in a while
make a funny comment.
Yeah, you're guilty of a few.
I remember one, yeah.
Did I hear it's somebody's birthday?
What?
Isn't it a birthday?
It's pronounced Mer-pay.
Mer-pay, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's it.
Don't worry about that.
See, guys, this is what i would
you know tell you about friendship is that if someone really fucking steps in it and makes a
really big asshole out of herself on a podcast for example you just say hey bud that's all right
if they fuck up i haven't had to deal with it but i've been wondering wow if hayes really blew it like just looked like a perfect fool in front of me just a complete and total dumbass like what would i do like how do
i handle that because i don't want to embarrass him i certainly don't want to kick his happy
meal ass up and down main street in front of the whole city but at the same time i don't want to
be associated with that kind of behavior so that that's actually really helpful for me to see that with grace, with class,
you just very gently said, that was your mistake.
Yeah, you're bad. You're bad.
You messed up.
Merpet. Merpet.
Yep.
We can go over this on you know on our own time okay so i want to talk very quickly we have a lot to
get to because this is the 400th episode and we have a lot planned um this show the timing is kind
of funny because i would say that we're putting out this episode before the premiere of the show
that you two starred in i think somebody else might have been in it too,
called Kevin Can Fuck Himself on AMC.
That will premiere
in quotes on the 20th, but that's
only for the incredibly
narrow sliver of America that
doesn't already subscribe to AMC+.
Yeah.
So we're kind of talking to no one.
You know what I mean? Like, it feels a little
funky. It feels a little funky.
It feels a little off.
I would have thought you guys were used to that, though.
Being a little off?
Yeah, a little.
Always not slightly off.
Slightly, slightly.
Every once in a while, everyone's like that.
It's a little weird in here.
Yeah, the target is pretty small, but let's push ahead.
I just think we're going to be two days deep into that baby on amc plus and so we're looking at back of the napkin math
all of america is gonna have seen it so whatever how are you feeling how are you feeling with that
pressure on you being uh you know not um invisible on the show i would say
i would say that i would say that that i am invisible you would say that i'm what i
this is what he does he disappears he disappears on the character if seen a million times
sean's not there curtis wertz is there i swear i thought walking by your office the first day that you were a professional reader
of our script don't give him this mary hollis it's i have to tell you there's two people
that's so nice i thought as walking by your office that you were there to read lines with us when we needed.
I remember you told me that.
Yeah.
And then I realized quickly that you were my boss.
I don't give him that.
Anyway, you look at it.
Yeah, it's not.
It's kind of neither.
And so in closer to the second but in order to make amends i helped uh get you an audition for
the role of kurt in the show that you produced a little help from the uh big man upstairs as well
g o double d and that's the truth, man. Because, let's face it, if everyone's healthy, I'm not booking that part.
It was the middle of a pandemic.
You remember that day?
If travel is normal.
If travel and housing costs are allotted in the budget the way they normally would
be it's nick cage it's dangle day lewis yeah i don't mind hey take the help where i can get it
yeah you squeezed right in there squeezed right in there let's dig in let's drink this cabbage
let's get into it kevin prepared it's such a nice little show for us
today i'm just here to watch i'm just here to have a good time i'm here to enjoy my own show
in a way yeah and so are the annie and mary hollis so are you guys like yeah this is really
for just all of us to hear some people people have been guests on the show before sent in nice message and so you any mary hollis you
can listen to this and when we do 500 600 700 keep going you can send it you can like listen
and be like okay though that's how i do a nice this is the kind of message i send yeah yeah okay
at some point we will promote our show as we were guaranteed yeah
i think we did it i mean i mentioned it i mentioned it and if there's actually if there's room for the
voicemails let's get back in and you you know you talk about your experience we've kind of heard
about what i did which i think people are gonna be pretty curious about but yeah we can do both
if you know just time permitting yeah yeah we shot it like fun fact like we shot it in boston
that was fun the name of the show is fun yeah just voicemail like fun fact like we shot it in boston that was fun
the name of the show is fun yeah just voicemail time for us but we'll get to the boston if it
comes up if there's like a really what if the one of the voicemail connection to some levers
has like a thick boston accent and that'd be a cool way to talk about the show
yeah but this is the 400th episode so it's like yeah and once again i wish you
and i like i hate to waste a wish on this because it on it is not going to happen it will not happen
but i wish you 400 i wish you more i hope you beat us i hope you beat us i just i just know
it will not happen don't don't Kevin, don't waste your wishes.
And fuck himself on AMC+. See that?
That's how.
And that's organic.
That's a good connection, but we do that once.
We don't do that again.
Okay.
We'll see.
Okay.
Sure.
Here comes the first one.
Hey, Sean.
Hey, Hayes.
Happy 400th episode.
This is Otsuko, your favorite friend.
I just want to say, you know, you guys might have changed my life, even if you seem to.
I feel like the show is rigged. I feel like the games are rigged. I feel like the winner is never me.
And you always play games with me, just because I hosted a game show
once. But besides that,
you guys have made my life better.
So,
genuinely, congrats.
And I hope you keep going
until, like, the
400,000th
episode, you know?
I want you to do this until you die oh my gosh otsko and you
could hear the excitement in her voice to be leaving a voicemail for us and the fire in her
belly that was she seemed really cool kind of it also she seemed like a little bit miserable
annie so like does that remind you of all of Allison from Kevin Can Fuck Himself?
I mean, it did sound like someone who was kind of maybe just talking in her sleep and didn't quite know what.
So I actually really like Otko.
And I thought what she said was really nice. She did sort of imply a little bit that the premises we come up with for her are not super thought out and that we always
play games with her because she did a game show once and yet like she also did a she also did a
game show so she's actually saying that she is she's telling on herself part of yeah part of the
the rigging part of the rigging machine and it's like
you look no further than this episode
to see we don't always
do game shows sometimes we make people listen to
voicemails from other guests
yeah so we should not be
expecting some kind of fun entertaining
game experience
like something that you could participate in more
yeah yeah and like have a laugh
or have some fun or you know be you know engage engage in the i'd file that under if there's time as well that
actually sounds like it could be cool it's just that we have how many voicemails do we have to
get through kev eight more it's not really a laughing episode and we have done a few of those
but this is not really one of them. This is kind of celebrating the absolutely unbelievable achievement that you
actually get to be a part of.
It's happening right now.
So staying present,
staying in the present and enjoying the episode while it's happening.
It's like a precious.
This is like a precious episode.
Precious.
Based on the novel Push by Sapphire.
Precious patties, if you will.
Yeah.
The character that Mary Hollis plays on
Kevin can fuck himself.
Precious Patty? I don't remember that.
Well, these characters certainly have names.
We've learned that.
Well, don't be a couple of anxious Allison's.
That's the character that I
play.
That was a good throw in. That was a good way to get it in there. It's kind character that I play. That was a good throw in.
That was a good way to get it in there.
It's kind of like a game. It's kind of like we're playing a bit of a game.
Well, we learned all their names.
There's another guy in the title, and so
I think I'm good
personally.
Hayes is good on names, which that's...
You got to say
both your first and last
as Kurt Wurtz.
Yeah, but that was you were like begging for that. you got to say both your first and last as Kurt Wurtz that's
yeah but that was you were like begging
for that
I take
offense to that
I take offense to that
you can lie down
anyone can lie down
everybody can lie down
I'm looking to lie down too during the show yes uh okay you
got another voicemail for me here we go hey guys tawny here um thanks so much for having me on the
show so many times over the years and congrats on 400 oh my god 400 episodes is is really incredible
um thank you yeah i mean You guys are so impressive.
You're kind of my heroes.
I know most podcasters,
it's kind of like a race to see who can
do the least in terms
of podcasting, but you guys really
I think you've managed
to do the most
number of episodes
without
any real content in a way um which i think is just wow i mean it
deserves some sort of mention some sort of award like truly nothing is happening in the show she
yet you've done it 400 times and these are hour plus episodes so that's you know 400 hours plus
all the premiums i i can't even imagine all the premium stuff.
That's even less like shaped or structured.
So there's just way less going on there, which is, yeah, it's just impressive.
I don't know anyone else who's managed to do so little so much.
So anyway, happy 400th.
Love you guys.
Hope to see you for 400 more okay keep on
keep on just not doing it because it's working all right bye guys tawny tawny do you guys know
tawny no no honey katan haven't had the pleasure myself is it tony katan katan this is the person it could have been easily
who beat up her her baseball boyfriend no yeah oh this is tony newsome if you know her you know
that she is so funny professional comedian in fact and she's on the space force and so when
she's like the show has no shape and like it has no content like that
is like just some of the funny shit that she does actually some of the funniest shit i've ever heard
that shit was making me laugh it also to me like there's always a little bit of truth in jest and
i think she did kind of hit the nail on the head where there's no artifice with us is their gang what you see is
what you get there's no game content
it's just
so that was
a bit like she's working
on new material or something
it was a bit
but there's always truth in
Jess so it was
fake but
to the extent that it was true it was nice the true part i liked and the
fakeness also was actually making me crack up and lose my shit a little bit because we are no
bullshit we are straight up we don't play games right uh like we do just like get into it. And it is just like us hanging out and just like.
Yeah, to get this far on so little.
I mean, you could speak to your experience a little bit.
Like, hasn't this just felt like easy doing the show with us so far?
Talk about this.
Talk about this.
Speak on that.
Yeah.
I mean, it kind of.
We're eight minutes into this.
So like.
If I may.
If I may, gentlemen. It did kind of feel like our opportunity.
I say opportunity loosely.
Our experience when we did the sitcom element of our show where we just kind of sat around and did nothing and were kind of perpetually annoyed by the goings on of the men around the guys, the guys.
I think this is an actual line.
Don't you remember annie murphy
like you're up next you know like they kept saying that like teasing that out like you're up next or
you know but then you never actually get the opportunity to join in and play the game and
play beer pong which we could even maybe try to play beer pong like i know we're all kind of
separate in our own houses but like we could do that, and that might be more fun. I'd have to re-watch it.
I think the line is, I'm up next.
I think it's you saying it.
I think you spoke it, and you say, I'm up next.
You know what? You're right.
Whatever. Everybody knew.
I'm going to fact check you, but it's like,
everybody listening going like,
do I have to open up my AMC Plus?
I'm pretty sure she said, I'm up next.
My experience with this stuff it's like i've done a little bit of this and if i'm like on a set where i'm not getting my reps like and things are like a little boring for me yeah i'll
step in there and just like just pitch in however i can i'll start working the lights a little bit i'll start dragging
cables around until like they see that i'm like i'm a team player i'll pitch in however like
wherever i'm needed like i'll fit into that slot and then they're like look this guy is like
really wants to help the show right yeah and then i think they maybe they like say like let's let's get them in there
maybe that's what would have happened in this case let's sure so we just need to make ourselves like
more it's really just like somebody's got to be moving those lights that's what you're saying and
and we're in grab some cables sling them around you you know, let people know like, hey, look. Yeah. I'm hoping.
Yeah.
Or anybody needs some waters, you know, like that sort of stuff.
Anybody needs some waters.
Yeah, it gets pretty thirsty in there sometimes.
Something Kevin, you know, Kevin always told me that he would do.
He was on the West Wing for a while.
And he said, you know, one day he shows up and he sees that there's a guest star who has a big monologue
and he just walked up to Aaron Sorkin and he showed him
and he had his fingers on the monologue and he went,
uh-uh, big cat's got to eat.
And basically he said, that monologue's not going to be that big
in a scene that I'm in.
You got to shrink it down and give me,
Kevin in this case was the big cat.
He needed a whole meal in the scene.
Right.
This is,
this is good.
We didn't really introduce.
This is our Kevin.
His last name is pronounced birthday.
Go figure.
Yeah.
This is Kevin birthday from the West wing.
Hey man.
Sup dudes.
You look familiar.
I know you look familiar too.
You lost me
I did not understand the point
or basically most of the content
yeah but it's so nice
to meet somebody famous on here
it is
it almost makes this worth it
thanks
hey Kev
so for anybody just listening they're waving to each other
we just had a
we connected through a connect we
connected up through a wave which i i encourage more people to do i agree just wave hey just
waved as a stranger every once in a while you know what i mean why do we only wave to people
we know waving's free as you guys continue to talk if we like wanted to like we can use a wave
as like a friendly hello or we could also use a wave over Zoom to get a...
Can we get a word in?
I prefer a formal email.
If you want to get a word in,
what I would prefer is an email sent to my business account,
because this is a business relationship.
And I get a professionally worded
and hopefully spell-checked email from you saying,
you know,
sort of a subject line,
some idea of what you want to talk about.
Little quick bio reminder of who you are.
And I think not to,
not just not to be a stickler though,
Sean,
I think like Kevin,
famous Kevin had me voice record and I'm not sure that we can do two things
at once.
So if I,
if I'm voice recording and I'm doing like half half of his job from my phone do i that's way more than half of
his job sorry i hate this that's pretty much the whole yeah that's yeah that's the whole job i think
you have to also like um know someone at a cast That's what Kevin always says to me.
He's like, I talk to Acast.
We got seven more of these.
And they do get longer, so we should hurry.
Okay, great.
Do they really?
They shouldn't be that long.
Well, let's listen to them.
Yeah.
Congrats, the boys.
400 episodes.
Wow, what an achievement.
Honored to call you both my friend.
And what a ride to 400. There have been so many high points. Wow, what an achievement. Honored to call you both my friend.
And what a ride to 400.
There have been so many high points and so many low points.
So many low points.
Kevin is not good, and it's clear that you two have completely lost interest in doing the show.
And the Patreon thing is a disaster.
My advice,
you should crawl back to Colin Anderson and beg him to be back on Earwolf.
Aww.
Strong agree.
Yeah, so we left Cole for a year this year.
Confidently not even introducing himself.
Was that Dr. Phil?
It could have been. I think it might have been it yeah it was him you know it was either dr phil or it was one of the writers
of kevin can fuck himself tom sharpling producer on the show uh and famous podcast personality in his own right wow tom wasn't with us in boston
but he was with us in spirit and uh what's what's what else what episode what else
five i think you wrote episode five yeah i did so so in episode five like a lot of, you know, that's kind of further on in the season.
But episode five is a real turn for my character, Patty, and Annie's character, Allison.
It's just after like a big kind of bonding moment, you know.
And Annie, don't you remember like how excited we were to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
like how excited we were to yeah yeah i just wish tom was on this particular show because i i actually don't quite remember what happened in tom's episode he does too let me tell you he
would also love to be on the show here he's been here too many times it's it's super played out at
this point uh i understand why he thinks we're not interested in doing the show anymore because when he's on I'm just like
having this again
this is not good
confidently did not introduce himself
and also referred to you guys as the boys
that is
our name for sure
it's our promo code as well
so if you wanted for instance
a Harris Raz razor or some some
uh fresh food groceries you know you're gonna wanna if you want a manscaping device you're
gonna need to type the boys into uh into the little promo code area okay does it work mostly everywhere or just shaving and some
couple different shaving sites a food thing i got a free hair dryer once i don't know if we ever read
an ad for them we might have done that i think we did one shaving and shaving and mailman food
those are the two things that
you can use the boys
and you can get, not free,
but a little discount on shaving,
mailman food.
Okay. And you are saying
mailman food?
Yeah, it's the food that the mailman brings.
Okay. Cool, cool.
Great.
That dog mad at me. Hollywood, cool. Great. Got your food. No worries.
That dog mad at me.
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They're trying to pull down the spider web.
Yeah.
But I've seen this too after a lot of dates.
And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger?
Because it looks like an emergency.
I know I'm supposed to do something.
Or how about those people that stand in the street?
They're kind of like, they've got almost like police clothes on.
It may be police.
Almost, yeah.
And they're standing in the middle,
and as I'm driving and I'm cruising,
they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost.
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Okay, here's another one.
Hey, Sean and Hayes.
This is Lauren Lapka.
I was just calling to congratulate you for making it to 400 episodes.
That's a really huge accomplishment in the
podcasting world i guess thank you so much for having me on the show a few times over the years
and yeah i mean yeah i think being on this show like negatively impacted my life in a few ways
and i don't i wasn't planning to like leave that on a voicemail but I don't know if I'll ever get a hold of you guys anytime soon.
And this just seems like a good time to clear the air on it.
But yeah, I mean, I've had a lot of people trying to eat my hair and, you know, I think you guys think that's funny or something.
Ultimately, like it's been a huge issue and has caused a lot of distress.
But there's other stuff too.
I don't really want to waste my time talking about it.
I'd happily waste yours.
But good luck with the next 400.
And yeah, maybe I'll get to do more.
All right.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
Wow.
Optimistic to come back. Optimistic to come back optimistic to come back and hang out
I heard that too I noticed that too
that stuck out to me that jumped out to me right away
or as Lauren would call you
Mary Ahalas because of the
drink that she does
commercial for
that was nice
she's obsessed with this one bit that we did
where we played a character
that someone played a character
that wanted to eat her hair.
There's a character named Earwolf Man Jack
back when we were on Earwolf
and he read some ad
where he was a zombie
who had been summoned to eat the hair of Lauren Lapkus
and somehow people have been doing that to her.
And a few people.
A few people. A few people.
A dozen.
Harassed her, I'd lie,
that said they wanted to eat her hair.
For four years.
And this is like six.
Probably six now.
Wow.
When was the last time you guys hung out with her?
When did I see Lauren?
It was probably around when we did that ad that ad probably so
that's about six years back yeah yeah but you had a big reaction to it being lauren so do you want
to talk a little bit about your connection or um or just how excited you were to hear that she'd
done the show uh you know i was just more excited to to hear that such a you know i was let me rephrase that
i was i was excited to hear her voice because i think she's such an incredibly funny
woman but i also was deeply confused uh to hear it in this particular scenario
yeah i mean maria was that did that throw you for a loop, too? Because nothing really matches here. This doesn't match Lauren Lapkus and this show. I'm having a tremble about it.
No, she's basically Michelle Obama. And then she's kind of coming here and spending her time in that she's also never won an Emmy and, and Annie has. So you thought that we were only having like Emmy winner.
Yes.
We've had a lot of Emmy winners other show.
No,
she just,
she seems like somebody who had like some good points about maybe you guys
not being able to like to relate and know what it's been like as her walking
around in the world as a very,
very funny and a very,
very likable likable person in the world.
And I'm just not sure that you can fully relate to that experience. I don't remember her saying that.
I might get the studio headphones.
I see you're wearing the pods.
I might need the big ones for the voicemail.
Yeah, because it's not...
It does sort of keep cutting out.
I actually hear what words people are saying.
Feels like.
Yeah, but I did find her
incredibly optimistic
to come back.
Did you hear that?
Yeah.
Like it's a it's
a head scratcher.
That one.
Even for me for a loop.
Get in.
Get in there, Murphy.
If I may just kind of
bring it back to what
I came here to talk about.
I have.
You're on.
You're on kind of a time...
Bit of a time crunch.
You're doing a lot of press, huh?
Being an Emmy-winning actress, there's a lot to do and not many hours in the day to do it.
I have a really bad...
What I've been doing this entire time that I've been here and listening or not listening,
I've also been picking away at a little hangnail on my baby toe.
Would you show it?
Could you get it up there and show it?
Well,
that's going to get you on Wiki.
Kevin tier,
extra tier,
extra tier.
I know the hangnail.
We'll do the extra tier.
That's $400.
If you want to see the hangnail.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm blowing up on Wiki feed as it is.
So I,
I don't know if I want to like,
you know, add fuel to the fire.
How are you able to do press with that sort of scenario going on in your in your shoes?
I'm trying to extract it so I don't have to like go to a doctor and take take another, you know, four and a half hours out of my day because I just don't have sure.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted as the as the show goes.
What would you say has been more unpleasant so far, hangnail or the uh experience of being on the show
uh i mean i feel like it you know they're synonymous really yeah you got the same kind
of feeling full body hangnail yeah i'm anxious for it to go away this show is a full this is a
great show we pride ourselves is a great show.
We pride ourselves on this.
Great show to do while you're getting medical stuff
kind of worked out at the same time.
Yeah, I appreciate that you've given me the space to do that.
I just don't have as much going on as Annie does.
Medically?
Medically.
So I'm just here.
I've got some time, i think to like while you guys
keep talking i could just do like last looks again on myself because if anybody does see this i just
want to look you know nice and maybe you know and you're sticking around after too i don't know meet
someone yeah great show for that great show to do and maybe meet some weird guy yeah yeah no there's definitely gonna be some weird guys watching
the vid uh i do just want to point like we've not only have we had emmy winners of the show before
we have had emmy winners for best awards show uh which is kind of the people that have actually
written for the oscars one best award show and so when you think of what's the most prestigious award,
when they're talking about acting and stuff,
they don't actually know really whether that's good or not
because they're an award show.
They do know what a good award show is.
They really know award shows.
They know those inside and out because they live and breathe it.
That's what they are.
They are an award.
So they're like, here's the Best Award.
They're like, okay, that's what that's what they are. They are an award. So they were like, here's the best award. Like, OK, I am an award.
So are you excited, Annie, to go to award shows?
Yes.
Do here's my question, though.
Do they still do that award show where they pour slime on your head?
Was that an award show?
Am I thinking?
Oh, yeah.
That is the movie Ghostbusters.
They still do it. They're doing another one right now is the movie Ghostbusters. They still do it.
They're doing another one right now.
It's Ghostbusters.
Yeah, Slimer's still out there.
He'll get you.
So he's, yeah,
he's going after little kids right now.
But I think if you stick it out,
they're going to keep making more of them
and they'll get back to adults at some point.
And they could go to adult?
I can play pretty young.
So I'm not too...
Not sweating it.
You know?
Here it comes.
Hey, you two. It's Moshe Kasher.
Remember me? From the
infamous Live at Comic-Con episode?
You'll never do that again.
Probably. Because COVID will probably prevent us
from ever gathering in those kinds of numbers
again. Anyway, I just wanted to wish you congratulations on 400 episodes. Every show
wants to get there and not every show does. I mean, take Baba Iso Vardandu, the Indian drama
that only got to 399 episodes. Imagine the pain. But you guys got to that four double zero, baby.
I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for what you've done and i don't
believe any of the critiques on the subreddit about how you guys are sometimes sarcastic or
insincere when it comes to talking about hollywood stuff i don't read your show that way and i don't
think your real fans do either so congratulations on 400 i hope you make it to 800 and when you do
you give me a call because i'm always here to do another voicemail for you wow that was really nice again that excitement to contribute again right what we're
finding is kind of a theme here right to circle back so you're in the family now are you starting
to get that like when once you're in you're in for life right i wasn't really really listening to that one because the hangnails go
wow okay do a little closer kevin let the record show that i fucking got that congratulations
and it's anywhere on your body bleeding from it it's i'm gonna bleed just next to me i'm not even
bleeding are you gonna say i did it gently and with care and a
lot of attention so i'm fine uh which piggy we talking about roast beef which piggy the
it's we we we right it's we we we we yep okay yeah i mean i feel like yeah i i just i kind of
i kind of want to stay i i kind of want to come back, I kind of want to stay.
I kind of want to come back and I kind of want to like keep.
Right?
It's a vibe, right?
It's a whole ass vibe, am I wrong?
It's a vibe.
He had a voice that also reminded me of the guy from Reading Rainbow.
And so I instantly like felt comforted and I felt like safe. Like Stanley.
With him, yeah.
And I was just like,
it's in a book, it's in a nook,
reading Rainbow.
And I just feel like
yeah, it was like a little
I'm here to talk about Kevin can
fuck himself, but
I'm interested to see what everybody else,
they're so touched by it.
Edit out the part where Mary Hollis sang.
Just make a note, edit out the part where holly's saying yes just make a note edit
out the part where she's saying just for when we release it that'll be a long beep and i just want
to say what you're what you're feeling mary hollis something we figured out a long time ago this tv
shit is donezo it's over you want to be here in the computer. This is where everyone is now.
This is entertainment.
I'm feeling that.
I'm feeling that.
Do you remember during your first episode?
Were you in the same environment?
Great question.
We've both become far more privileged and wealthy over the years.
First episode. This is so fun to think about
so we were a part of a bunch of basically like uh orphans that a podcasting uh
like rasputin type uh guy He was a railroad man by trade,
but he had his hand in a lot of pies.
It's gotten too scary.
It's gotten too scary.
Let's get...
It's gotten too scary.
Next one.
Great.
Voicemail.
Okay, home stretch.
Congrats, the boys.
400 episodes.
Wow, what an achievement.
Honored to call you both, my friend.
And what a ride to 400.
There have been so many high points and so many low points.
So many low points.
Kevin is not good, and it's clear that you two have completely lost interest in doing the show.
And the Patreon thing is a disaster.
interest in doing the show and the patreon thing is a disaster my advice you should crawl back to colin anderson and beg him to be back on earwolf cheers wow that's really nice another person very
confidently uh just saying my voice will get the job done here and she's right it's julie klausner
a rather difficult person but not in our experience
that's the show she also is like highly she's so like highly emotional and ready to share like
really kind of the in depth i mean i she's like a brilliant actor so like she can share like the
not that she was acting there i think that that that came from the bottom of her guts.
That was raw.
That was raw.
We hit a nerve with her because that was the realness.
That took my breath away hearing the words that were in her.
I got a little emotional there.
I hope that with more time with you guys, like the boys,
I hope that I can...
Yeah, it's fun to say.
Yeah, it is fun to say.
It just kind of brings a smile to your face.
And is there a second hangnail or what is happening for you?
No, right now I'm actually kind of playing...
There's this ring and I'm just kind of putting it on my toes, just kind of out of boredom.
I'm just slipping it on and off my toes. Did you feel any sort of movement in your
heart over the last message? Well, no, but it did make me curious
to ask, there have been a large
number of women calling in and leaving voicemails. Is that
representative of the demographic that
guests on the show or that listens to the show? represented. That's going to change quick. Sorry. Of the demographic that... Okay. All right.
That guests on the show or that listens to the show?
The listeners are all men.
Okay.
Okay. The guests sometimes are women who just want to hang
out with the boys.
Much like our character on Kevin Can Fuck Himself.
I would like to hear
another voicemail. Can we hear
another voicemail? Here we go.
Wow, guys.
400 episodes.
Congrats.
And what's really cool, every single one is almost unique.
I'm so proud of you guys for doing the show for so long.
And especially when you went indie and you didn't change a thing.
The show was still the show.
You talk exclusively about Earwolf podcasts and you don't pay your guests.
So here's to four more episodes.
Paul F.
Tompkins.
Love Paul.
Love his appearances on the show.
Obviously he loves you guys too.
Yeah.
That came across.
People,
people don't just leave voicemails,
you know,
like they,
it's so rare now,
isn't it?
That they don't pick up the phone,
right?
We're this,
we're texting.
We're constantly texting. We're and he yeah he just came he just picked up the phone it was really sweet in terms of paying guests we have traditionally done kind of a
little assessment of whether we think the guest needs it i guess we were wrong in this case with
paul uh we had no idea paul kevin can you take care of that yes and honestly like really take
care like this who knows what's going on with him but like make it count you know yes because
absolutely yeah we need were you offered any money for this ann Annie? I was, yes. Again, we did decide that Annie could...
Annie, probably, yeah.
The boost would be helpful to her.
That's fine.
I mean, I get to hang out with the boys.
With the boys.
With the boys.
Priceless.
Mastercard.
Priceless.
Honestly, like Paul F. Tompkins.
I just like...
Paul F. Tompkins.
I got to hear his voice before anybody else on a voicemail that was like basically to me.
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here comes another.
Hey, Chef Sean.
Chad Hayes.
Kevin the Kid.
What's up?
It's John Gabrus.
Glorious guest of the Hollywood Handbook Podcast.
And so excited for you guys to reach the milestone of 400 episodes.
Francois Truffaut is rolling in his grave because you made the real 400 blows.
That's what I'm talking about.
And I got to just say thank you for all the opportunities you've given me on the podcast.
And more importantly, thank you for all the work you guys have hooked me up with off the podcast. Having two good, close Hollywood friends like you guys with writing jobs who are constantly just throwing shit my way is just, I can't ask for a better couple of guys.
Thank you, Soma.
I look forward to being ambushed by you guys and Joe Wengert in the near future.
John. John.
Johnny.
Wow.
John Gabriel.
Oh, shit.
It's not done.
It's not done.
Okay.
Goodbye.
All right.
End call.
All right.
What's next?
Let's call the office ladies.
Tell them that congratulations all right reach out to
yo this is racist congratulate them big grande okay yeah let's congratulate all these guys and
get the networking popping okay so it sounded like at the end that he was just rolling through
a bunch of yeah that he had a lot of these congratulations yeah well let's not lose sight of what really happened back there.
Thank you.
What really happened back there
is he considers you guys
a launchpad for his career.
He's incredibly
grateful.
You'll love this, gang.
John Gabrus auditioned
for the role of Kevin
on Kevin.
Get out of town! John Gabrus auditioned for the role of Kevin on Kevin.
Get out of town.
He came in in red.
And what did he do wrong?
That's just one of the opportunities. I believe it was once.
Yeah.
That his friend, Sean.
Yeah.
Is it just because he knew you that he didn't get the part?
Boom.
Yeah, what happened there he did he did speak as if he's been kind of like showered with with
uh jobs and opportunities since coming on this podcast and it sounds like that was just a full
dead end for him that that one didn't work out honestly i think he possibly better suited for a supporting role that has not as yet to be written or if it
or if it was written it's like one of the roles that maybe like this travel restrictions but had
to go to someone that was just standing around you know what i mean it's true it's true like
he's such a mover and a shaker you know like he's he's out there like he knows how to network and even he did obviously didn't know his phone was still on we all heard
that you know like we didn't know he didn't know he was funny wasn't it that he left the phone on
yes to like let us know that he was like continuing to network like i mean and and
obviously that was funny i noticed that too yes, that his phone was still on. Did everyone else
hear that? Yeah, it was even after he said goodbye.
There was a long pause.
He said, and call after that too.
There was a long, long
pause wherein I think everyone here thought
that he had hung on.
No, I was ready to start talking about the voicemail.
And then he spoke even
beyond that time.
There's been an interesting thing too where
and this is not obviously meant to be insulting but at a certain point the
voicemails were getting i think to you guys more and more impressive
lauren lapkus you know tom who worked on the show, Julie Klausner.
Yeah.
Then Paul F. Tompkins.
And with Gabrus,
he also left a voicemail.
And he did that thing.
I just don't want to lose it.
No,
I thought he had hung up.
Even after.
And I think he thought he had hung up.
Is there how many more one more
wow this one must be uh the biggest one this one must rock save the best for last here we go
hello this is scott ackerman under duress obviously uh happy 10th anniversary to the
reality show show is that what i have i have no idea but um ever since i saw you guys
in that parking lot the first time i ever saw you and uh you're i i had to put on sunglasses
because your your talent was so uh blinding that i just yes like i can't I can't look directly in their eyes.
And ever since then, those men have just kept going.
I would have thought you would have quit.
I really did.
And to be honest, the fact that your show is sliding into obscurity,
it kind of feels like you already did.
But good luck to you.
Whatever you plan on doing with the show,
you know I haven't listened since maybe the first three?
Is that right?
Good luck.
Whatever this is for.
Bye.
Wow.
There might be more.
Wait.
There might be more.
Yes, we learned a little lesson from Gabrus,
so maybe now he's going to like end call looks like that was the that's okay i'm hearing nothing and kevin actually knows
kevin's heard them all so kevin knows okay yeah thanks for checking i want to hear uh mary's take
mary hollis what uh what i just feel like he is obviously in love with us.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it's actually pretty sexual as well.
There's so much affection there.
He's sexually in love with us.
It's sexual as well.
But there is.
Yeah.
It's just like there's so much like we said Rob.
I just feel like there's so much passion there.
I actually can't.
I now fully.
He basically admitted that he had boners in his eyes for you guys, which is why he had to.
The sunglasses were to cover up the boners.
Annie, did you hear him try to fight that?
Yeah.
He was so trying to fight that.
He was so horny, it's also making me cry.
Absolutely.
I'm crying from horniness that I felt,
secondhand horniness through the phone,
and it's making me weep
because the expression was so pure.
And it's a little, you know,
look, Scott Aukerman, he's daddy.
That's daddy right there.
That's daddy. Wow. Okay, now it's all making sense. he's daddy. That's daddy right there. That's daddy.
Wow.
Okay, now it's all making sense.
That's daddy.
That's daddy.
And he's also a baddie.
Even the way you guys talk about it, it's obviously so miserable.
I wish you guys had sunglasses so you could cover your own eye boners.
Because it is uncomfortable, yes, to see us with these.
I'm just trying to look at my knowledge as much as possible because it is uncomfortable yes to see us with these yeah i'm just trying to look at
as much as possible because it it is it is uh no i know i can't yeah
she's going obviously it's not it's not about us annie you know it's about well i know that
about this like about this like male you know this male passion and this paradigm of like
will it will it ever will it ever open up well we've got like three minutes left if you guys
we've been through the voicemails did you want to talk about just your impression of the show
whether you know how much you liked it or if you have any other medical conditions that you want to kind of sort through,
you know, while we're in the Zoom.
Guys, you know, this has been,
this has been, this has been.
It's been long.
I just wanted to let you all know, though,
and for the record, I'm holding up another,
it's a toenail.
It's not a hangnail this time.
It's a toenail that it's not a hangnail this time it's a toenail that i have uh removed from
my body just out of pure like just out of the desperate need to have something happen kevin i
just want to know is the is the video tier prepared for the for the traffic for the surge
and traffic that we're going to be seeing i'll have to email tech support. ASAP. And it's funny
you know,
I just, I can't help but think of
what an apt metaphor it is
because when we started out,
you asked us about episode one, the first
time we did the show,
we said, episode one, we said,
we just want it to feel
like a real good hang.
Yeah. And we nailed it.
And then you put the nail in the coffin, you know?
400 eps.
Yeah.
We can't.
I mean, we can't.
And why would they want to, Annie?
I mean, it's just like such a good time.
Also, like, I cannot.
I want to call Lauren.
I want to call Lauren Lapkus back.
You got to call Lauren.
You got to call her back. I want to, like,kus back. You got to call Lauren. You got to call her back.
I want to like...
Let's get into her problem.
Like her problem.
You know, it's like she tried to...
She called and she felt like this was a safe space to share it.
Should we call Lauren now?
I mean, should we call her before we go?
Yeah, we should.
I wouldn't mind saying hi.
Let's just hang out after we'll
call lauren we'll all hang out mary haas i'm getting the feeling i might want to just like
drop tv shit is done though i mean just get in the pot it seems like this has got so much promise
and i actually feel very very connected to it yeah a lot of promise is how we've been describing the show as well so that last couple of people have really been like okay this it's really i don't want to call
it momentum but there's you know because i don't want to jigs it but there's like the little i'm
getting an inkling that like we could be onto something here annie oh annie did you have
something to say all i want to say is that i think what i did gain from this is uh a special relationship
uh with kevin so thank you guys so much me too wow the tables have turned and she like she wanted
to talk about kevin can fuck himself or whatever that thing is now but i don't want kevin to fuck
himself anymore yeah i remember she was like obsessed with the show she's got like a real
obsession with kevin yeah which by the way everybody's seen the show
i think that there's been major changes made in both of us yeah our worlds have been rocked
and i had a major change too a lot of my hair fell out bye
this week on the patreon carl and asan discuss high school quads the boys catch up with griffin
and david from blank check and the flagrant ones are talking to joe mandy check out these bonus Patreon, Carl and Ahsan discuss high school quads, the boys catch up with Griffin and David from Blank Check,
and the flagrant ones are talking to Joe Mandy.
Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes,
including today's with Annie and Mary Hollis,
at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a Hate Gum podcast.