Hollywood Handbook - Atsuko Okatsuka, Our Late Night Friend

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

The Boys welcome back ATSUKO OKATSUKA to discuss the huge deal they secured for her.Podcast University merchWatch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privac...y Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Kevin a question I'm like asking I'm asking myself and I'm like kind of trying to process it and then he's immediately comes back like sort of interrupting me trying to figure out the answer for myself. You know what I mean? Like I said like today
Starting point is 00:00:39 today he's like Otsuko has a show. She has a record after this so she has to like go pretty early and i just text that we'd have about 45 minutes and i text is that enough time and that's me that was me like that was for me you know like am i gonna be working it out get my shit off time can i like can i ramp up into full beast mode the way I need to? Usually happens around, for fans of the show, minute 42, minute 43, I'm suddenly really doing pretty powerful comedy. And the first 41 minutes are nice.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Some of the time they can be pleasant, but they're not real podcast. And if I'm cut off before I can get it all out, that could actually be very dangerous. Medically, it's an issue. And Kevin's just like, yes. Just immediately, yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Yes, that's enough time. And it's okay well let me just like let me think about it for a second because i know now osco has to do this other show now i know what it is yeah unfortunately it was revealed by um the mysterious man the your associate ryan oh my my associate husband associate husband best friend oh disgusting you say husband you say husband okay i i you call it associate i used to say partner now i say associate yeah partner felt a little too formal associate feels you know more romantic to me yes it is an association isn't it yeah i'm associated with them uh-huh and then if you want to get real freaky i'm currently associating right now no that was just like a you know example sentence something you could say at a different time when you were yes yes i hear a
Starting point is 00:02:47 word i like to use it in a sentence most of my sentences are example sentences big spelling bee vibes yeah um yeah and so ryan revealed that the other show is called bananas you put a hot dog necklace on you because their show is called Bananas. And that's a food. And it's a different kind of food. It's a long, you know, semi-cylindrical food, too, you know? Yeah. Some would call it a stretch. It's like, oh, banana, hot dog.
Starting point is 00:03:15 You call a hot dog a stretch? Yeah. Well, a footlong hot dog, you call it a stretch. Yeah, it's a stretch. You get a stretch. Throw a stretch on the grill. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, I would say. It's a stretch. You get a stretch. Throw a stretch on the grill. Mm-hmm. Right?
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah, I would say. It's a stretch of meat bundled up. Mm-hmm. And, yeah, but I think it's kind of a stretch to say, hey, banana, hot dog, same thing. Am I right? You know? What is a hot dog if not a bundled stretch of meat?
Starting point is 00:03:41 Yeah. Right? And a banana is a stretch of fibrous yes fibrous fruit tissue just um just a healthy stretch of fibrous fruit tissue encapsulated and a hard peel but the the hot dog necklace is the hot dog necklace is for it's not for me you know i mean it's for the the gentleman i'm guessing i thought he just was like this will look great you're in the zoom window um you know what's wild i don't want to i don't want to throw you all off but what's wild is my associate husband best friend ryan a queen colleague neighbor some would say you know because it's like i don't know why not yeah and you could say you could say i'm neighboring right now yes exactly oh it's too early for all this sexy talk but um we're getting it painted
Starting point is 00:04:48 what's wild is i'm not doing bananas at all today the podcast wow that's so demented that was that was so this was all set up this is like ryan's Island, like the end of Shutter Island. It's true. As I work back through, I go, none of this really happened. It was all taking place in Ryan's head. Is this all real? You know, and we don't need to make this about who's who and two boys on two boys,
Starting point is 00:05:23 but, you know, the Bananas hosts are two boys. And he saw two, I think he saw two boys on the screen. You know, two nice young men, Hayes and Sean, and thought those are the same boys. And we are, as you mentioned, of a similar descent. Those were your words. That's right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:43 And so I was going to let you do it. Kevin, will you pull up the banana boys so I can get a look at them? Sure. Can we actually take a long look at them? So it's Kurt Braunohler. Cousins, I guess. Kurt Braunohler. Oh, it's Kurt Braunohler.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Kurt Braunohler. Wow. Who's the other boy? Who's he doing it with? Who are we bringing in? Oops, I googled bananas boy. Who's going toe-to-toe with Kurt? Kurt, he's very big.
Starting point is 00:06:15 He's tall, very tall. Scotty Landis? Scotty Landis. Scotty? Oh, God. That's right. You know Scotty. You know Scotty.
Starting point is 00:06:22 You know Scotty. You know Scotty. Yeah. Didn't you work with Scotty? I worked with Scotty? Oh, God. That's right. You and Marilyn Hudflap. Yeah. Didn't you work with Scotty? I worked with Scotty, yeah. Did anyone ever mix you two up? Scotty and I? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:06:33 No, no, no. It was pretty clear who was on a speedboat to success and which one of us was just going to kind of hang back and chill with Kevin and Hayes.es hey it's not a competition hey you need buoys you need buoys floating around no they tell you where it's safe to go that's a little warning sign you need bullies and your best bully is yourself is that what's going on yeah i think that's that's true as well um let me say the buoy never sinks the speedboat it's in danger actually will explode yeah i'm holding still you never gotta gas me up yep I'm chilling man
Starting point is 00:07:28 that's what I like about you weather the waves that's why I've done Hollywood Handbook more than I have done bananas any other show we don't have to make this about the bananas boys anymore
Starting point is 00:07:43 we could talk about the bananas boys more anymore. Actually, any other show. We could talk about the Bananas Boys more. It's almost demented how many times I've been on this show, to be honest, by now. It's sick. No, they're calling a doctor for you. Yep. Oscar, have you done I Said No Gifts?
Starting point is 00:08:01 I have done that, yeah. It's different, boy. How do you get booked on that? We were promised that... How do you get booked on that? We were promised that... How do you get booked on that? That guest spot was secured and then... He swore. Whoa. He swore.
Starting point is 00:08:12 When he came on here, he said like, and then you guys will go on mine. Mm-hmm. Wow. Which will definitely happen. So what happened? Was it like a normal, he emailed you or something? Yeah. You know what? I'll put in a good word he emailed you or something? Yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:08:26 I'll put in a good word. It worked like that. Okay. Oh, wow. That would, I mean, that's not why I was asking, but let me know what he says. Yeah. I'll say, Hey, so I was on the Hollywood handbook for the fourth time. Again, fourth time. My favorite podcast to be on, obviously.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Which you've only had me once i said no gifts uh mr winneger right and so and then i'll bring you two up i'll that'll be more gentle right i start with me and then i'll go hey so what about that haze and sean and kevin coming on i said no kevin absolutely does not need i. I mean, I'm available. Might as well. Let's go. Thanks. Okay, I'll take it back.
Starting point is 00:09:09 I'll say, hey, you know, scratch Kevin. How about that Hayes and Sean on your show? You know, they can bring a nice gift for you. And they're fun. I love those boys. Yeah. How's that email sound? Wow, and you're saying that about us to him?
Starting point is 00:09:30 What do you think he'll say? Well, best case scenario, he'll say, hey, I love those boys. I'm writing them right now. I just have a feeling this is going to end with the bananas guys going on there doesn't it feel that way the confusion i can see it already like it's like we're so powerfully associated with them now especially by you i just i just can see it happening now and i just i'm forced to watch with my eyelids pried open yeah knowing. Well, the bananas boys do.
Starting point is 00:10:05 I said no gifts. Knowing me, I would get so nervous writing that email, I would write down the wrong names, you know? It's last minute send. Oh, no. Oh, no. Did I put Kurt and Scotty or was it Hayes and Sean? I can't remember now.
Starting point is 00:10:20 It is going to be me. Remember, we're like the same guys. Yes, that's right. Kurt. So I can't think of Kurt. I've never had that problem. We're like the same guys. Yes, that's right. I've never had that problem. Someone mistaking me for someone else of my descent.
Starting point is 00:10:33 That's your brand. Your brand is very unique. That's very sweet. Yeah. And it's been memorialized in the content Smithfonian
Starting point is 00:10:49 which is HBO Max and HBO and HBO don't just stick it to HBO Max but they don't like they want
Starting point is 00:11:04 they probably want you to want like they want they probably want you to like act like HBO Max is not something that needs to be like corrected that like also on HBO you know what I mean they probably want like it's all one big family you know or it's even
Starting point is 00:11:20 better is probably what they want because they made you're basically Westworld now you got basically Westworld now. You got the Westworld slot. Uh-huh. That's what happened, yeah. And now that White Lotus finished its finale. They're going to cut that as well.
Starting point is 00:11:37 They're going to take it off the streaming platform. They're taking it off because they ran out of gigs. Free up the data, yeah. They said, yeah, that one hour, one hour of stand-up comedy will fill up all these slots. It's giving Westworld. Thank you. And it is sort of a mind-bending hour of comedy, isn't it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I never thought of it that way. isn't it? Yeah, I never thought of it that way. There is a little sci-fi Wes, I've only seen one episode. There's a little sci-fi is she a person or not energy.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Yeah. Yeah. Cowboy robot. Love. Is she going to fall off and be like sparking like you know yeah love betrayal deceit all of it yeah are you gonna go yeah go to sleep in some sort of goo bath after the show ends or something isn't that an element of it yeah i'm so glad we're all so well versed in this in west world we all well we all love west
Starting point is 00:12:46 world we talk about it every time we get together and here we've got an actual reason because you've been given their slot hollywood this week on the patreon carl and asan record the final episode of carl calls his cousin the boys check the bylaws for some very important information, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Also, we have brand new Podcast University merch designed by the one and only Hank Eubank, and the link for that is in the description. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Otsuko at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.
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Starting point is 00:13:49 Now, this is different, Kevin. I just want to establish. It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients. Like, this is the meal. The meal has to be ready. It's not a recipe. Okay. This is the meal.
Starting point is 00:14:02 You cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the the promise is the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one
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Starting point is 00:16:58 Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost
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Starting point is 00:19:01 slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply. With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Hey, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
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Starting point is 00:19:54 this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vina them was a... It was a vinaigrette. It was a raspberry vinaigrette. It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing. They'll even try to get you a refund
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Starting point is 00:21:04 talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys like we said we don't have a ton of time no we're almost done i don't want to cut you out but we have a lot of stuff that we gotta that we have to um take care of um this is really exciting, actually, for you. And I'm capable of being excited about it as well. So we, in kind of, like, as we were booking this, we were having other conversations with other platforms
Starting point is 00:22:00 and, like, kind of trying to, how can we, like, scale this, what we're doing with otsco and we managed to book you on late night uh kevin help me all the shows every late night show jimmy both jimmy prime jimmy jimmy james jimmy jimmy james hey wouldn't you say james is it jimmy both jimmy prime jimmy jimmy james jimmy jimmy james hey wouldn't you say james is a jimmy too so when i so you don't even know which one i'm talking about when i say jimmy i'm talking about james and when i say james i'm talking about one of the jimmy's james fallon jimmy kimmel yes that's right jimmy corden yes steven seth they're all going to welcome you uh it wasn't easy to book them all in the same week but we want the special to succeed because it is special and you know we had to do a little bit of negotiating some fancy footwork
Starting point is 00:23:04 it'll be good for the show i think too selfishly for our show because obviously we'll be releasing an episode with a guest who's just done every late night show um we had to make some promises uh you're doing trevor's last show i just wanted it'll be booking and i know he said that he just did it but he's gonna come back and do one more he's gonna come back and go it's for an encore basically and the studio audience of the daily show has been holding up their lighters since that last one and then he comes back out they're gonna go nuts and you'll be the actual like you know you're coming you're you're coming back out to play hey jude basically
Starting point is 00:23:46 yeah we're we're uh oh you thought we weren't gonna do this one no we're gonna have odds going on so so i i think it's really cool we made a guarantee essentially um sure which if not fulfilled we are heavily financially liable um that your appearance will be the most watched episode of each of these programs that have been oh recorded by a lot by quite a lot the number the because of what because an astronomical number yeah wow because of what you've because what you have planned is so earth-shaking that everyone will be forced to tune in. And if they aren't watching at the beginning of the episode,
Starting point is 00:24:33 by the end of the episode, they will be watching because of what you are doing. And so we don't know exactly what you have planned for the talk shows. You're catching up to it just as we are. But we should figure out something pretty good yeah yeah either way this is great news thank you i don't know how to thank you it's whatever you know it's good for us too it's good for us too you know and it's pretty whatever on our end yeah i love that about you guys it It's just like, hey, no problem.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Just, you know, froze earth and time, making sure you shine. So nice. So great. But that's our vibe is like, you know, I'd love to see us succeed. I'd rather see my friends succeed. And that is and that is that's what feels really good yeah especially knowing i had some small part in it in this case a huge part because we we booked you on every single late night show and we've made uh you know we've made some promises
Starting point is 00:25:40 uh whose fulfillment um is crucial or it will be devastating to both of our lives yeah i didn't even know that was possible so is it like in the all in the same day i'm doing them back to back jimmy jimmy corden james uh we're gonna simulcast we're gonna simulcast uh two of the shows was it steven and james who agreed to simulcast even of the shows. Was it Stephen and James? Stephen and Jimmy. Stephen and Jimmy and then Seth and James. Yeah. And Jimmy requested individual. Alone.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Okay. Trevor will be after. Alone. Right. Alone. Wow. Totally alone. Guys, I promise to deliver something huge well you have yes well
Starting point is 00:26:30 we promised that so now let's figure out what it is and we need a little more than just like something huge like we can't just say that we did just say that but now we really need to show up it does have to be that but um we just need a little more about what it is actually going to be. What do you think you might do that could help us? They've done some pretty huge episodes. Jon Stewart played the drums on Colbert just this past week. Dang. And that I don't even think was their most watched show of all time by far. And so it's just an example.
Starting point is 00:27:03 And we booked you on John as well. So we have to beat the episode. The problem. We have to beat the episode where Trevor left. I mean, because that was really watched too,
Starting point is 00:27:13 you know. Right. So we have to be like. Well, that one's actually like probably easier to beat because it is like a, like an encore finale.
Starting point is 00:27:23 That one, I actually don't think you have to do maybe anything because like by the time it's over and people will have heard you're doing that one last people will have heard about what you did on these other ones right yeah and it'll be it'll be very impactful um you know when i think about ahead. Just legendary, famous talk show appearances that have been much discussed. Um, of course, I immediately think of the Joker movie. Mm. Uh, I don't, I don't believe, and I just want to say this for legal reasons,
Starting point is 00:28:04 that you should kill any of the hosts of the shows live on air. I don't think that's a good idea. That's what the Joker did, and people seem to enjoy it. Did you see that? Did you see that, the Joker movie? I didn't see it. No, I haven't seen that. It is exactly like your comedic taste. I can't believe you didn't see it it is so your thing
Starting point is 00:28:30 yes like yes okay i turned to haze during the movie and said ozco has to see this she has to see it right now she has to see this but no way yeah what i did think i will put it on if i could just um i see roku city back there you have a portal to roku city right oh after we get off this and after i do the thing i put on this hot dog necklace you got a one way one way ticket to roku city oh i'm yeah i'm not coming back i'm turning on the joker and the one where he's like going down the stairs or something that one yes okay yeah the chiming of the bells that were the most powerful moments in cinematic history um here's my idea hear me out and kevin let me know contractually if this would fulfill our obligation. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:25 I don't think you should do what the Joker did. Right? You don't want to. I mean, I was open for suggestions. I feel like... Turn the city on its head. It was quite a wake-up call for the people in the movie. Yeah, I'm just saying don't doubt yourself. I was still listening when you...
Starting point is 00:30:08 What I believe could be a compromise is if you were to wear a suit that was essentially a giant projector screen and we could transmit the Joker film on to you during your talk show appearance. And you'd have to talk kind of quiet so people could hear the movie yes and in that case even if no one watched what i'm thinking is so many people saw that movie we could say well this is what happened on your show is still the most watched thing that has ever been on your show yeah do you know what i mean yeah that oh that that's art yeah so yeah i'm thinking like most of the movie though like if we can show as much of them i'd like to i'd like to show the entire movie on every show awesome okay because i i'm always afraid to ask for everything i'm so glad you're here to be like no the whole thing i was down with like here's the deal three quarters of the movie yeah listen up show's wearing it yeah yeah and you know
Starting point is 00:31:10 but that's just the first idea if other people have other ideas let's talk about it yeah i mean because it's also sort of a technicality and i could see us getting tied up in court for a while. Sure. Did you know, I'm glad to see that you kind of approach this the same way I do. Some people will take the people of Roku City's sun away. They will turn off their sun, leave them in complete darkness. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Or even sometimes switch out to like something else instead of just like letting them just like live peacefully and not having like you know of course dinosaurs are attacking them already oh yeah i that's why i have it on right now baby it's so much tougher to see the dinosaur if they don't have their son. You have to leave it on. It's true. It's kind of why I leave it on now. It's why it's on at 1 p.m.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I just kind of let them live. And at night I go, hey, thanks for the day. Thanks for a great day. Get your rest. Yeah, thanks for the day. Great work, great day. Get your rest. Yeah. Thanks for a great day. Great work, everybody. Yeah. I love what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Get some sleep because we're going to hit it hard first thing in the morning. Yes, but now I'm watching the Joker, baby, and they understand. You may not need to watch it now. You're going to be showing it to everyone. So you're going to be watching it, I guess, sort of like this, like looking down at your own abdomen. But you're going to have to see it four or five times over the next week. That's really exciting, honestly.
Starting point is 00:33:00 If we do that idea, if we do that idea, and there are rights issues there are some trademark things that make it complicated Hayes did you thought of anything I'm thinking event the word event is just like circle I'm just like event
Starting point is 00:33:17 event event major television event yep yep live the Joker movie live Television event. Major television event. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Live. The Joker movie. Live.
Starting point is 00:33:29 The Joker movie live. The Joker movie live. Like, you remember NBC was... One person. One person show. You remember when NBC captured the hearts of America by doing... Yes. Yes. Live.
Starting point is 00:33:44 So many different things. Yes. Yes. Live. So many different things. So many lives. And it was quite powerful. And it united a nation that needed some healing at that time. You know, it's hard to remember now that just a few short years ago, there were some problems in this country. Problems that only
Starting point is 00:34:09 a live performance could fix. But a live Joker musical inspired by the film. Oh, I mean, a stage, yes, but I think we'll have access to the entire backlot. Yes, so it is. it's multi-stage we're trapped because like the camera is the proscenium and so where like that is you can travel between stages and it's when the j the Joker's driving around in his little...
Starting point is 00:34:47 Buggy or whatever. His nefarious buggy. Oh, yeah. I like this. A dune buggy with a big spoiler. I have two questions. He's got a little dog next to him. What's your history?
Starting point is 00:35:04 Do you have like history in in live performance yeah oh yeah i mean like not and not like stand up and stuff i mean like like like actual chops like yeah could i play the joker could i play singing can you pull off joker do we need to bring in someone else for joker And you might be Joker's friend who's like this. Yeah, yeah, chorus girl. Just to be safe. Oh, yeah. When it comes to theater, I've mostly been chorus girl.
Starting point is 00:35:35 But guys, I mean, this gift that you guys got me, like I promise I'll work my butt off. I'll work my butt off to be the best Joker. I love this. That an Otsuko Okatsuka can be. Oh, Otsuko, I just booked you on a new late night show. Oh, there's another one? There's more?
Starting point is 00:35:55 There's a brand new one hosted by Lorne. You're going to be the first guest. It's called Saturday Night Lorne. Lorne finally said enough is enough and it is on saturday night same slot night instead of saturday night live it's now saturday night lauren and he said get out of the way exciting comedy voices of today dang i can't believe they fired all those people to make sure this worked. Some of them have longer contracts so they're not
Starting point is 00:36:27 fired but they have different jobs now where they make snacks and stuff for Lauren. It's like Bo and Yang the AC or Sarah Sherman the AD.
Starting point is 00:36:43 The AC, the AD. Thank, the AC, the AD. I love AIDS. Thank you for correcting yourself because she really doesn't like people saying Sarah Squirm anymore. I wouldn't know, man. She's never done the show. I'll email her too. She says Sarah Squirm died
Starting point is 00:36:59 again. Well, go ahead and hit her up. Can you read that email, Kevin? And maybe we can get some pointers from Hey, Sarah. Let's go at a pretty good pitch for the Bridger email.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Yeah. Saying that she loved us. Yeah. To start off. Yeah. Let's see what this one says. Haha. Yo.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Love the show this week, dude. Just checking in about doing the podcast again. It's chill if not, but we need this. Oh, yeah. But you don't say that you love the boys. Like, you love these boys. Yeah, I love these. i feel like that's what's first and foremost yeah i'm not i'm not hyping you guys up it should have been ha ha yo first
Starting point is 00:37:54 and foremost i love these boys and then yeah name them and then you know the not the banana boys Not the Banana Boys. Maybe she's thinking I'm talking about Banana Boys. Maybe it's like Ha Ha Yo. I agree. This is how it should start. Ha Ha Yo. Ha Ha Yo. I love the show this week or whatever. As for me, I've been producing
Starting point is 00:38:21 Hollywood Handbook. Still awesome. Still awesome. whatever as for me i've been producing hollywood handbook still still awesome still awesome yeah still awesome freaking love the shit out of those boys you know what you actually you should do hollywood handbook like we talked about but then it sounds like maybe he wants her to take over producing it oh yeah that'd be cool because he's going because he's going that's what i'm doing then he goes you know what actually you should do it what if that'd be incredible but what if to make it less like
Starting point is 00:38:52 sound less like you know oh i need this right just be like yeah a little desperate huh tell tell her about like others you know just and then just be like oh come to think of it would you want to be a guest like have it be more like you're writing an email about something else and then suddenly you're like whoa weird since i'm already writing you dude kevin send that no this is great so send an email and just be like hey my neighbor lost their dog have you seen this dog then put a photo of a crazy looking dog so you know she's gonna read the rest of the email it could be like just like a creature from a movie or something yeah it could be it could be like one of the ghoulies hey and then yeah that's cool it could even it could even still start with ha ha yo yeah ha ha yo or i was thinking maybe yo ho ho oh that's holiday season that's that's
Starting point is 00:39:48 perfect very toy sean so it's like my neighbor lost their damn dog this dumb ass left their door open captain dumb ass left their door open yeah i love that little sucker. Have you seen it anywhere? And then picture of a dog. One of the ghoulies. Yeah, it's a ghoulie. And it says, like, loves belly scratches, but careful. He does bite. And then say, at least I think it's a he.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Can you check for me? Then say, oh, shit. Actually, you know what you know it'd be chill af yep you should guest on this show that i know about maybe leave it at that yeah subjects 911 emergency yeah yeah and sign off so we that's good wow and it's in gray so you know that that's like part of his email signature yep just like so i i was loving the your commitment to despite. It sounds like not really having any experience in musical theater, trying really hard. I am concerned that it's not going to be enough to bring in the or like the biggest audience.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Any of the shows have ever had. Yeah, bigger than how about this? How about we split the difference between you killing i think you've like the biggest episodes ever you killing the host is one probably second biggest ever is crispin glover kicking david letterman and so maybe in this like you kick them so hard you kill them i think you are actually gonna have to know that kill them i whoa it feels like we're if we go halfway it's not hey what do you guys think of okay this is
Starting point is 00:41:54 completely different me yeah you know a live surgery surgery save them save them yeah i saved them i feel good killing them i feel bad yes yeah it's like hey you know any ailments or we find out about the ailments first and then we go we're gonna or we poison them what if we poison them and then you come out live with the antidote on stage yeah and then you can do just like your stand-up or whatever but there's so much tension while they're healing i go into my latest five minute set so i would say before you administer the the serum oh yeah you're saying you go this this this man only has five minutes left to live right i'm i'm going to do a tight five right now and then give him the medication that he needs yes and then as you are doing and i go you know what my husband right and it's like hey
Starting point is 00:42:52 please don't laugh because it's not fun that's going to extend this thing and this man will die oh this is perfect so i bring in a rattlesnake, right? And I accidentally let it hit Jimmy or James. I mean, all of them, I guess. Sam B. All of them. And a couple times we are simulcasting them, so it is going to have to hit Seth and James. Snake's got to be pretty long.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Snake's got to be really long. Long snake. What did you call the hot dog earlier stretch stretch a stretch of snake and it's gonna bite i'm gonna act surprised oh no what what is this oh i have an antidote and it's in my pocket and i i administer it and i go guys so i've been thinking i need me and my husband are going to get a tandem bike. That's the beginning of my set. Yes, yes, yes. And because if I'm exercising, he's exercising.
Starting point is 00:43:56 And so, you know, obviously I'm not going to do the whole set here. But and no, no, save it for the show appearance. Yeah. and no no save it for the show appearance yeah as they heal i do my type five and then i'll turn around and see if it worked if it needs more time then we bring in the projector dress new snake oh yeah yes sorry which then i put on and And I go, hey, Sean, hit it. And boom, lights out. I love that my name is on the show. That's huge for me.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Hey, boys, I couldn't have done this without you. And so the lights. Hey, banana boys. Yeah. That's what I'll say. Hit it. Hit it, Hollywood boys. Everyone will be like, whoa whoa who are those guys the lights will go out projection on me right what's happening we're watching the joker live
Starting point is 00:44:56 you're projecting the movie the joker movie onto the faces of the audience oh now that's different i didn't even think about that well you're facing you're gonna be facing them if you're you know right that and also i mean you gotta go do banana i mean it works much better because like the their numbers are going up during the show instead of like when you kill one of the hosts, if you just like kill them, then they're just going to cut the feed. Some people will turn it off when the feed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Some people will turn it off. And by the time anyone who would want to like try and watch the feed would be cut, but that's why the five minutes of someone not even poisoned. Yeah. We actually have time for people to tune in. Okay. Well,
Starting point is 00:45:47 you got to go. Yeah. Sean and I sean and i are gonna like said hi you know we're gonna stay on and like hammer out the details on this but like yeah if you could please say hi to scotty and bridger and sarah thank you yes much love thank Much love. Thank you. I'll put in a good word. Yeah. Sweet. Thank you. Thank you. Awesome. I had a big pitch I didn't get to give, so I guess I'll give it to you guys now. I'm really scared that this better be good because I am really feeling like this is not going to work at all.
Starting point is 00:46:18 The whole time I was just like... I was wondering... It was cool. She was agreeing to a lot of it, but I was like, this idea is terrible. I was thinking she like it was cool. She was agreeing to a lot of it, but I was like, this idea is terrible. Like I was thinking she'd have some ideas. Not,
Starting point is 00:46:28 not wait till you hear this one. Okay. Biggest episode of late night in history, Tom Cruise and Jimmy on the plane. And Tom goes, Jimmy, we're going, we're going skydiving.
Starting point is 00:46:43 You're jumping out of this plane. Remember Top Gun Maverick? He brought Corden on a plane and said, you're jumping out of this piece. Okay. Watched by billions. And Corden said, you watch. Wait, that was watched by billions creator Brian Koppelman. He watched it.
Starting point is 00:47:02 And a lot of other people did, too. We follow up oscar does the same thing cordon get in that piece we're going we're skydiving again this time she takes the shoot from him she holds the key to the the the shoot release mm-hmm okay or maybe her maybe hers i don't need a shoot and shoots him or you're thinking of parachute parachute yeah sorry i should have clarified that no that's fine she could shoot the parachute no he should say in the air he should say where's my shoe and she says right here yeah she shoots him and then saves him it's a mid-air murder there's no way to even prosecute it that there's no jurisdiction there's no anything goes in the air yeah yeah well no yeah
Starting point is 00:47:57 it's there's no like sky pd like that doesn't exist yeah that's where i do all my business um it'd be the world's fastest and highest murder well she still should pull the chute yes yeah go i don't i don't want gravity to kill you i want you to know it was me so that's pretty good or when she pulls the chute, she goes, oops, that one has my lunch. And like an apple and like a carton of milk fly out. That's good.
Starting point is 00:48:34 It still somehow operates. It's still open by pulling a ripcord, but it's when you want to fire your lunch at yourself. She commits murder. She says this is for that waiter or something. And then that'll just like really get people talking where they'll be like, wow, I really don't think that was an appropriate reaction. And then we got her on the ground and she goes, kind of looks like an egg yolk omelet.
Starting point is 00:49:01 And so when people are like, that really was not okay to do no that was so extreme like everyone had bad days then we'll be that but then we'll be like okay so your response was okay okay so the way you responded to that that was appropriate i agree this is somewhat disproportionate i think this is extreme but I also think your reaction was equally extreme, which is you did nothing to protect our service workers. And when the most vulnerable members of society are not taken care of, that society has failed.
Starting point is 00:49:42 So effectively, you did this because you put it you put it all on hot's go to take action yeah we can we can go that angle where people didn't do enough or what what what they all did by being so mean about it to jimmy was actually worse and be like this man i can't have committed murder this man is already dead by your hand well and that did to his reputation and that otsko has become like waiter pilled or whatever because the online extremists were bullying Jimmy so hard that she thought she was standing up for her fellow man by doing this. And it's like you have been radicalized by the online extremists. Yes. And you have convinced people that this is an appropriate reaction.
Starting point is 00:50:40 And maybe you should realize that what you say on the Internet actually does have an impact on people are reading that. And some of us are pretty vulnerable to internalizing these ideas. Here's here's my and here's the kicker that happens. All will all will all will be revealed in part two. What? That was the most watched episode of Corden. I what that was the most watched episode of cordon i thought that was the end oh actually the next day which now has even more eyes yeah surgery saves him this was all a learning experience or at least we can try she tries i don't know waiting that long to do surgery like just with the when they film it
Starting point is 00:51:27 and air it if you're going if you're gonna wait 24 hours to perform the surgery it might be a challenge but we definitely can promise to try like at the very if i were doing surgery on yes on someone who had fallen out of a plane and possibly been shot in midair. I would at least want to begin the surgery as soon as possible like schedules permitting.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Yeah. Maybe they can bump his slot up a little bit. Maybe it's a two part episode. They do it early right that's right kevin can you just update her can you just email her just like updating her and that can we just hear should i cc sarah just so she's there just so she kind of knows that like we're actually doing great we're actually doing we're actually doing really good. Like pretty established comedians, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Okay, so what are you writing? Yo-yo, yo-ho-ho, my dude. Ha-ha, yo-ho-ho. Ha-ha, yo-ho-ho. Yo-ho-ho. Do I sound like a pirate, LOL? LOL, parentheses, remember from before? Yeah, Jack Sparrow here. Mm-hmm before yeah jack sparrow here
Starting point is 00:52:45 you know lonely island those guys rock seriously don't say they rock okay yeah she didn't want to hear that she's trying to carve out her own thing you know yeah they were on the show that she's on you just say yeah do you know them just ask her if she knows them just say if she knows them she'll that she'll tell you if she does or not ha ha yo ho ho i sound like a pirate lol do i sound like a pirate do i sound like a pirate don't tell you do i sound like a pirate these are see you see how the what we give you kevin invites a response i sound like a pirate is just like just it's no wonder information it's your opinion yes yeah say do i sound like a pirate then don't go like lonely island rocks well she disagrees now like what is she saying she wants to engage in debate just say do you know
Starting point is 00:53:38 lonely island now you know it's it's open's inviting. It's not closed. Ha ha, yo ho ho, do I sound like a pirate? Parentheses, Jack Sparrow here. Do you know Lonely Island? New line. Or should that be the subject? Subject is 911 emergency. 911 emergency.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Ha ha, yo ho ho, do I sound like a pirate? Jack Sparrow here. You know Lonely Island? You know what cut cut the jack sparrow line yeah say you better start believing in follow-up emails girly you're in one you're in one great you're reading one it doesn't matter you're in one you're in one we're in one you're in one you know lonely island just checking in with a major update re jimmy yeah first he can't wait to do the show. Maybe gas it up a little. Yes, that's great. Make her feel like he's getting more pumped.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Yeah. Very excited. Do the crimes that we have planned. Just checking in with a major update. Read Jimmy first. He can't wait to do the show. Very excited. Do you have your pilot's license?
Starting point is 00:55:02 I guess it won't matter, but it will help us this is too like we just need to keep her just say exactly what's gonna happen yeah i yeah i think it's gonna be there's such a thing as too many questions you're scaring her off yeah and don't say it doesn't matter just go like yeah just like blow the dust off that pilot's license yeah we're going airborne and now just say in like very clear language what it what is going to happen you need to jump out of a plane with jimmy when he asks where his shoot is is yeah where's my chute you say here and pull out a gun
Starting point is 00:55:51 I'm gonna put G asterisk N that's nice yes and you should say and before that write trigger warning trigger trigger warning colon trigger you need to jump out of a plane with jimmy when he asks where his shoot is you say here and pull out a g asterix n shoot the clown don't say shoot the clown because it seems to
Starting point is 00:56:20 where we're using the word shoot a lot yes it feels too casual just say do what needs to be done like do what's necessary yes do what's necessary trigger warning trigger you need to jump out of a plane with jimmy when he asks where his shoot is you say here and pull out the g asterix and do what's necessary loved Loved the special. Then say this is for that waiter or something. Yeah. And then in part two, you will be doing surgery on him either in the ensuing, in the next block or the following day. And just that's the conversation to have with CBS
Starting point is 00:57:04 and just their sort of scheduling team uh lots of love great up by the way a lot of good stuff in there lots of love great up by the way a lot of good stuff in there and say that you love us too i mean i feel like yeah that takeaway from her yes it was i love i love the boys they really got something going wouldn't you say no no questions they really got something going yeah this is where you can be a little more assertive whoops just noticed i cc'd sarah yep it's kevin any updates on the dog? Yeah. Please email me back.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Please email me back ASAP. I'm sick. I'm dying. I'm sick. I'm dying. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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