Hollywood Handbook - Ayo Edebiri, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: February 15, 2022The Boys confront AYO EDEBIRI about being weird. Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priv...acy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So, you know, I had to pull a couple of strings
just to get into the post house
where my friend was working kind of after hours.
And it's been late nights,
but I think it's going to be worth it.
And I wanted you guys to come
and have just sort of a friends and family screening um but i'm pretty pumped i don't know
that it's better but i do think it has been a worthy exercise certainly um just to just to see what the intention was and just get the kind of original form
and put Kevin Spacey back into these movies.
Because it's pure.
Into all the money, yeah.
Yeah.
Just getting him back in just to see, were we right to take him out i hope
we were you know what i mean that's what i'd like to learn yes but let's investigate it's it's really
it's it's science and it's art which is what's exciting it goes without saying that i'll be
there i love any friends and family screening at the post house i love when
they drag the chair in for me what like they didn't know necessarily that many people were
gonna be coming but they can find a chair i love sitting in a kind of a kitchen uh stool
uh in a very small room watching a movie on the computer get it we'll have it on the computer
and you will be touching legs with mark duplass during is if that's okay and he'll give his notes
first okay mark goes first okay uh is he gonna hmm what are we gonna say like yes when the lights go up when the movie ends
and like the lights go up and there's only like five of us and we're just sitting in this little
room we just watched a movie on the computer we know it's important to you and we can't just wait
it's been my whole life for like years yeah we can't just wait until like the comment begins to say something we have to say
something before that i might say so awesome am i allowed to say that before mark says anything
or is mark going to be commenting in that interim period mark might try to kind of get i think what
mark probably will do is kind of like do like a not quite a sarcastic like bravo but kind of clap
and go and and turn to you and get you involved as if you weren't going to say anything nice like
come on yeah that was yes yes really you should be really really proud to me and i could say wow
get in here hayes yeah wow so awesome
yeah i'll definitely say congrats dude uh and then i'll then i'll yeah i'll wait my turn for
the comments obviously but when it does come to me i'll say i think it's really close uh i love
what i would like what i would like and i will get to you in one
second what i would no i'm sorry i wasn't sorry it's for you to kind of nervously say like yeah
i mean similar to mark i thought that and then he will stand up and leave wow okay really because i
said similar to mark or he's just it's not clear he's busy he's done yeah
okay but he will leave which will be simultaneously a relief and sort of humiliating for unknown
reasons io wow oh so you were saying something about you weren't in favor of
Hayes's
perspective commentary
on the
Kevin Spacey films
and by the way
thank you first of all
thank you
rooting for you
seriously
cheerleading section over here
okay all right fucking pep squad shaking it around shaking it around yeah we're shaking
cheering for you shaking shaking those pom-poms yeah thanks i guess um I guess just as somebody who's close with Mark,
just like you are, Sean, and you're not, Hayes.
I'm close with Jay.
I guess if I'm close with Jay, then I'm pretty close to Mark.
Mark is only his favorite brother in the entire world.
Oh, you're close with Jay?
Yeah, I'm close with jay uh yeah i'm close with jay
so then why wouldn't so then why wouldn't you call him lawrence uh that was bumping me as well i was getting confused i was like he keeps saying jay does
he think it's because i don't know he's called lawrence he knows i know he is i call him
jay for you all when i'm speaking to him i call him jeff as in jeff who lives at home
it's funny because i i know no it's just i know where i know jeff who lives at home is funny that
we don't that we've covered extensively on this show.
We don't have to do anymore.
I mean, you don't have to say anymore.
You know, I know my place.
You were speaking.
You had something that you were very excited to say.
Yeah.
I wasn't going to say it as I always am.
Rah, rah, sis, boom, bah.
Pulling for you.
Pulling in your corner. I get, I always am. Rah, rah, sis, boom, bah. Yeah. I see you.
I see you in my corner.
I hear you.
I thank you.
I do a high kick. I say, hi-yah!
And I feel it.
I feel the breeze from that. You are the wind
beneath my wings. I say thanks.
I just know,
Mark, and I don't know if you're gonna
get there i've been to friends and family meetings with him before he'll do a wow before the credits
are even done you know what i mean like he'll he'll give a wow exhale i just i mean good luck
to you, obviously.
I mean, this is something, and I borrowed this from him,
and I wouldn't be surprised if you did too,
is during a scene, just very quietly, but not that quietly,
he'll go, trailer moment.
You literally will.
You literally will.
Trailer moment.
And it's such a vote of confidence that you know the the filmmaker
in this case it would be me yeah uh i guess putting out a trailer for a film released five
or six years ago that kevin spacey was edited out of yeah but it's got it's got to come out at some
point and i would be cutting a new trailer and the scene and the scene that he's saying trailer
moment under doesn't even necessarily have
to have Kevin in it.
And that's why it's a Mark
comment. That's why it's a
Mark of Nudge. When you get the nudge as well,
uh-oh.
Because you know Mark means it.
It's not a vanity
comment. He's thinking.
The gears are always turning for M-Boy.
Sorry, you probably got lost.
It's one of his nicknames.
Mark Duplass.
But the gears are always turning.
And that's why...
I didn't get lost.
I knew exactly who you were talking about.
Duplass in the sauce, right?
Absolutely. He's always in there. He's were talking about. Duplast in the sauce. Right? Absolutely.
He's always in there.
He's always in there.
Yeah, so
I've seen it before. Sorry, I'm freaking out.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Get it all out. Get it all out.
I've seen it before. We've just got a coffee.
We'll be talking and he'll say, stop.
He pulled a notepad out.
He has a notepad, yeah. he has a notepad yeah weird okay
no worries we may not even use this it's no no worries it's yeah i'm not this isn't for the
this is because i'm a fan this is because i i'm thinking about my fond memories with mark
duplass my friend pick a notepad i'll just start writing but you just can't stop we are
getting a teensy teensy bit off course we have a lot of catching up to do io
you've been on the show before there's a lot of stuff that you've been in the news for yes i read
i actually want you to confirm something that i would just love to hear like here or deny you
basically where did you read it sorry where did i read it? Sorry. Where did I read it?
I read it.
It was online.
I forget the exact source.
What it said is, like, it's fine if this isn't true.
Filmscreenfuckers.com.
Is that what it was?
This was not on Filmscreenfuckers.
I remember that for sure, that it was.
Screenwatch jackoffs. this was definitely not on screen
the it wasn't in the screen watch jack offs has like bright yellow text on a black background
and i remember that this was not on screen watch jack uh-huh yes that's good i don't remember what
it said what where is site where it was but i remember what it said, where it was, but I remember what it said,
which was,
is it true that you have no problem staying humble?
Where did you read that?
Now that you mentioned it,
I believe it was in L magazine,
the magazine,
I guess for Spanish men.
And it said, I mean a few few i mean like if you could like confirm
or deny these things is it true that you're also not a household name in the vein of michael che
chelsea peretti or john mulaney for one you're not having burgers with olivia bud but you are
a deaf master of an extremely particular brand of ironic
almost absurdist humor that plays
well on Twitter and your drawn out guys
have laid a deal with the correction section of BuzzFeed
and accolade in and of itself
squish
I don't know where you can you confirm or deny
that can we can we
can we sorry just like off the record
I don't know where you saw that
or where you found that but you can't this is not information that you want you like this to be cut you're you're
you don't want this kind of stuff to get out is the issue that you are having burgers with
olivia and i have a problem staying humble as well okay so i think maybe what could be best is we just,
are there any other topics or things?
Sorry.
I really like you guys.
Whoa.
Okay.
Yeah.
This was going to be the patty, so to speak.
And again, the Duplass talk would be the bun.
If you don't want to talk about this, we can definitely cut it.
But just kind of whether or not it's hardly a stretch to call you a burgeoning star.
Sorry.
And that, yes, whether or not you believe it, you can exist in the same conversation as someone like Han.
Han.
Who wrote this Kanye West or whatever he's calling himself these days.
He's always calling himself Kanye.
That's never changed.
Con Diddy.
That's not based on anything.
This guy's changing his name every...
I think you're trying to mix...
Yeah, you're mixing him up with Diddy maybe
or even Prince.
That's sort of like a different...
Well, it's very easy to mix them up
because they're changing their names
to each other's names.
If you change your name to someone else's name, then yes, you will get mixed up with that person.
Oh no, but that's on me.
But now Hayes is suddenly in the wrong.
When all he's ever tried to do is sort of be aware of some people's names.
I work really hard.
I like you guys.
Good.
Sometimes I even respect you guys bad sometimes i said
and so i came to this space your podcast your home and this is yes this is my house you both
live here this is my roomumpus room for sure yes
yeah I know it's yeah I know it's your damn
rec room I see that
the gamecube in the corner
this is my sunken
rumpus room this is
where I get my sillies out
right before I
go shoo shoo
shoo shoo time
and I read two books, one long one and one fast one.
And then I go shoo-shoo.
I better have gotten all my sillies out.
And that occurs right here in the rumpus room.
So I'm here to do that.
But unfortunately, there's a more serious topic to deal with as well
hayes can you zoom in on that particular line of text where i was discussing
her particular brand of absurdist humor and this is actually not something that... I don't think I was discussing my brand.
She has never actually commented on this,
and this is what I was actually
wanted to bring her on to kind of address this.
I came here as a friend.
This is not her voice.
I came here as a friend, too.
We love you.
We care about you.
So you came here as a friend,
but you stay here as an enemy?
It's very interesting.
We are worried about you.
It's very interesting to see the behavior.
It's supposed to feel adversarial.
It's supposed to feel uncomfortable
when your friends, who care about you,
stage an intervention.
There were reports,
and you can comment on this
or not. I don't care, and it's entirely
your business, but there were reports that she
is a deft master of an extremely particular brand of ironic almost absurdist humor that plays well on
twitter and you can comment on it and veering into absurdist it was almost absurdist we're
crossing the line and i want to talk to you because i think you're headed down a bad path some of the stuff you put online is weird you're being weird
you're being a little bit weird online yeah shut up you're being crazy shut up shut up
please io is this what you wanted did you want me to break no we want you not to be weird we want you to be
less like this because yeah so i've written a little letter stupid a lot yes i didn't think
the article said stupid nobody said i was being stupid it was implied yeah it does kind of say
that you're being well i think that i i i'm sorry that i got so heated i'll first i'll
say that because i really do as i said um i know you guys and so i shouldn't be heated towards
people that i know well this is consistent with what i've read that you are also enviously good
at taking the non-linear path riding it like a roller coaster rather
than forcing a track change and that's what you read honestly that perhaps what's most intriguing
about you right now in this moment is that you're not yet a true celebrity you can giggle at your
own relative obscurity and spin it into material that's what we're seeing right now in a way.
That's what I'm witnessing firsthand.
And that aspect, this getting face to face with you and seeing you ride that roller coaster.
Amazing.
But we are at the precipice.
We are in a very dangerous zone right now and it can go one of two ways and we
want to try to guide you back onto that track now i've written you a letter you've written me a
letter i wrote you a letter if i can read it now um i don't know can you read it i'm excuse i wrote it on the back of a book
okay is there not already stuff on the back of the book there is some other stuff too
okay just be careful when you're some of it's the letter some of it's not the letter
can be really dangerous be careful i'm like so serious i don't want you to like get hurt
trying to read start reading the book then you'll you regret that. You end up reading an entire book backwards.
Well, then it's shoo-shoo time.
Boy.
Long one like this, then I'd have to
follow it up with a really quick one.
Some quick books?
Yeah, sometimes you do a really
quick book. Just order some fast books
you like. One's got to be very quick.
We're going to do one more book. It's got to be so
fast, Io.
Not short, but fast. As I said, one's got to be very quick we're gonna do one more book it's got to be so fast io and not short but i said it's got to be fast it's gonna help if it's short i just i just wanted to clarify um io are you gonna sorry i've been a fan of yours for as long as i can remember
we've shared some laughs we've shared some fun. We've even done some pretty memorable podcast episodes.
But lately,
some of the things
you post online
are making me feel
a way that I don't want to.
What way is that?
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Do you understand
what a letter is there's no
please try but you're up and kevin you were supposed to mediate this okay the content
get this shit under control kevin needs to mediate his last name what the hell is that
excuse me kevin has been doing a lot of kevin has been doing a lot of physical bits this episode.
He did go into squish mode earlier.
Squish.
Squish.
Shoot it.
Shoot a basketball.
He did, when we talked about track changes,
he did a little kind of swimmy fish.
Veering into obscurity. So you're telling me the people who are holding my intervention
are behaving in the most absurd and, dare I say, random of ways.
Okay.
It's almost.
Is my letter reflected somewhere?
It's almost refreshingly creative is what I'm seeing you all do.
So that's interesting.
If I could finish.
I don't know. is what I'm seeing you all do. So that's interesting. If I could finish. The way it makes me feel
is I'm going, huh? What the F?
What is she even...
What? Huh?
Is this... Okay, that's kind of funny.
But wait, why?
She's still... There's more of this?
Okay. Alright.
I get that.
I don't get that. Huh? What? This is random. This is absurd.
This is weird. Ayo, come home, please. Just be normal with us. Remember the one podcast we did
that was the first one that went really well? Come on. Let's get back to that place. Let's
just be normal. I don't want to feel this way i
don't want to feel old when i'm online so your question did get answered yeah so if you had
actually just waited for one second well i don't know how the answer to how it makes him feel is old when he's online. Yes.
I already said my reasoning.
I was born after letters.
Okay, so
again, this is
almost confirmation of something I read on the news
which is that, alas, you get a kick
out of your own embarrassment.
Ed, perhaps you're your own
best gag. Head up and cover
with it as you on certain end point
i feel nauseous and haze is putting directly on the issue i feel sick and if i do not do you not
see your part in this please cut ahead just a little bit in the same report to claims that basically your approach is but hey, if it got a good laugh,
why don't you fill in this last line
for me?
You want me to fill it in?
Yeah, so you can tell me whether or not this is true.
I think maybe you know
that what this report said
is that your approach is
but hey, if it got a good laugh,
what does it say? Giddy up up that's correct giddy up giddy that that that hits a little bit huh i'm watching
that sort of connect that that's and i do want i think we should can push a little bit further
on this did you prepare did you prepare a letter for me i prepared another short letter
you prepared two i asked john instead of me instead of me preparing a letter, I asked Sean if he could maybe prepare another one that's a little bit shorter.
Okay, I'm feeling a little bit of laziness in my own intervention.
We did one long letter and one short letter.
And then it's probably going to be shoo-shoo time for me.
It seems like you're hitting shoo-shoo levels.
Excuse me.
You're excused?
I don't know why you said giddy up there.
Sorry, is this the letter?
Has the letter started?
Yes.
Is that you moderating, Kevin?
That makes me feel strange.
The letter didn't start.
You didn't say when the letter was starting.
This is not a condemnation.
It's a celebration of how,
despite the pop culture garbage,
we're forced to wade through every day
okay so i've accidentally started reading on the back of this book so this is a pull quote by pat
and so he yes so he has a quote on here so that wasn't part of the letter anymore
hayes did you write a letter no i asked you to write okay another little
i did a really short one and then i think i unfortunately use the same color pen as the
as the quote that patten has on the back of yeah i do think and part of the reason i didn't
write a letter yeah well i well i want to like and i do want to let you speak
primarily because i did read that what you do need is more opportunities and more space to play.
Because you possess a wild imagination and an eagerness to chase it to extremes.
And so rather than me write a letter, I want you to be able to chase your wild imagination to to extremes such as your eagerness
but not in a way that is being weird being stupid being an idiot
don't do dumb stuff because it's being dumb bad'm not. Because we want you to have that space to play.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
We want you to...
Hey, you're in the rumpus room.
I'm aware of that.
In fact, I'm keenly aware of it.
I'm keenly aware of many things.
I'm keenly aware of things about
myself.
And you can fill in what they are.
Yeah. I mean,
for example, that social media meant you could reach
anyone instantly with a well-timed post.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. That's one of the
things I'm keenly aware of.
Yeah.
I'm keenly aware of other things. Mm-hmm. I'm keenly aware of other things.
Well, I want to provide you with the playground.
I want you to have the space to play.
And so I'd invite you to, in a normal way,
get your sillies out on this podcast.
Mm-hmm.
I just think you two don't realize
how big of a part
of my sickness
you are.
Before I moved to LA
and got involved
in
the nonsense
brigade.
The nonsense brigade.
Yeah.
Upright nonsense upright we call it
we call it yeah yeah nope no worries also also another io potentially anyway
wasn't worth it oh yeah okay okay wait okay okay yeah in there oh yeah okay no okay um yeah Oh, yeah. Okay. No.
That's a different IO.
The Nonsense Brigade, that's a different IO.
Yes.
So that's one for the little earworms.
But listen, before I knew you two, I was on
the straight and narrow.
I was doing
good things.
I was keeping my head down.
Yeah.
You ever heard of a little...
You were being, if not smart,
like definitely not stupid.
Thank you.
Why do you think it is so important to me
to talk to you about this today?
I don't want to see you end up like we did you
don't have to go through what haze and i have gone through some of the shit we've done online
has been so weird and stupid yeah it's true and we finally come all the way around to being able to do just a normal show like this
where we just be normal and just play.
Do we chase our imagination to the extreme?
I'd say yes.
Yes.
Then we chased it all the way back.
We got it all the way back.
We folded it up and put it in a little bag.
And then we put our head on it at night we read
two books one long one then one quick one i i just like are you guys are you sorry if you don't
come in someone get a notification of some guy i just want to make sure i heard it my uh
my wife's computer is making some noises.
Okay.
Yeah, I heard that one before.
His wife computers, I tell you.
Right?
And what is it, fellas?
What is it with wives?
His wife computers.
And their computers, right?
Nobody told me.
So I actually sort of wish the old reverend of he did say a little of what i had to
expect we talked about sickness we talked about health sickness and health but uh nobody said
anything about uh having your notifications on loud i don't know, man. Women.
It's crazy.
But Ayo.
Kevin, just in.
Kevin is again being so physical.
He's nodding and all this.
Just say yes.
Yeah.
She's like, yes, yes, yes.
I can.
Right.
Ayo, what do you what do you want this to be about?
Because I assumed you would like the material,
the wife computer material.
I like that.
That's classic stuff.
I like that.
That's normal humor.
And it's smart.
Because people can connect to that.
That's real life.
They go, yeah, yes, my wife's computer's loud too yeah everybody at home is nodding it's true i'm understanding again i guess i just i just okay
yeah all right um fellas you know what i'm talking about yes okay trying to watch the big game.
All of a sudden,
you hear ding-a-ling.
Ding-a-ling.
If this...
All the boys are
right in the middle of a touchdown.
The touchdown is happening.
Oh!
Come on!
You know I love my wife,
but if this bitch don't turn her shit on vibrate... Please know I love my wife. But if this bitch don't
turn her shit on
vibrate.
And if
this fucking little
I.O.
Do not
do that.
Doesn't
Sorry.
Don't do that.
Don't wear a hat when you do our podcast
what we're doing we're doing like a nice show here like we don't wear a hat get dressed up
i'll take the hat it's a nice hat don't take it off now then it's literally new the hat's new
so you bought a hat?
I didn't buy a hat for your podcast. Which has a heart on it, the symbol of being sexual?
Come on.
Don't do that on this show.
It's not a romantic show.
It's a friendship show.
That's why I wore the word side.
The love we talk about on the show is a friendship style of love.
It doesn't feel like it.
What if I had an intervention for you guys?
Please, what would you even intervene about?
Well, I wouldn't because I like you.
And so I think that you should be able to do whatever behavior you want on check.
Oh, there's nothing to intervene on?
There's nothing to even intervent about me anymore
unless you're going to come turn down
the volume on my old lady's
fucking computer.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I'll
come into your house and I'll do that.
Don't. I think she'd be pissed at me.
Please don't because if she misses a
message then she'll be upset.
So shut it.
I'm going to.
I did already.
Thanks.
All right.
Okay, good.
I already have.
Okay, fine then.
Fine, and I have done that.
And I'm happy that you did that.
So now I think this is done.
I'm happy that it's over then.
Me as well.
Hollywood Handbook.
This week on The Pro Version version the boys do a teaser
freezer for the movie deep water she is about to have cold tater tot why are you the only man who
wants to stay with me she put it she put the tiniest piece in her mouth it's so cold i think
she doesn't think it's gonna be cold when she puts it in her mouth oh that's cold yeah there is a
little bit i think what's happening before the scene is he went like hey i made tater tots she went oh i love tater tots
then she puts her mouth in front of him and like doesn't want to fully give away like oh shit these
are so fucking cold and he looks from from her perspective it looks like he has just taken such
a big mouthful of tater tots yeah that he's like, well, surely these aren't cold, but he's actually
trying to reckon with like, wow, these are really cold.
And so he's just leaving them in his mouth and he's just kind of letting the juices break
it all down.
He's prepared to, if confronted, say, I like this way.
Check out the pro version, the Flager Ones, Carl Calls His Cousin, and the video from
today's episode with A io at patreon.com
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here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is
different kevin i just want. I just want to establish.
It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients.
Like, this is the meal.
The meal has to be ready.
It's not a recipe.
Okay?
This is the meal.
You cook the full meal for us now, Kevin.
You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet.
You're actually doing the cooking.
And there are 35 different options to choose from every week, including Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto.
Which is this?
It's a little bit of all of them.
Okay.
Okay, it shouldn't be.
There are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long.
How many add-ons and what are some of them?
It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the at the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will
be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to
do it's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
I know, give you a ton of energy. They have like
smoothies and things like that. This is wrong.
Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second?
It's you and your bed? My bed.
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No, we didn't even...
This is not even up for consideration.
So let's just hear what the actual meal was.
What was the food?
I don't want to go to bed.
It's very simple.
It's one huge chicken nugget.
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oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not
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And one of them was a dressing.
Yeah.
One of them was a French raspberry vinaigrette.
It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
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What's confusing to me is like I'm trying to reconcile this with the fact that I read Revenge of the Nerd.
Iowa Debris breaks out on Big Mouth.
The stand-up and actor is bringing her
brand of geeky comedy to the role of
Missy and making her work in a host of other
projects. I don't recognize anything
about that.
Any part of that
I have no...
I see that you're getting encouraged to be
not just stupid,
but also... I'm lost.
You're duplosed.
I'm lost into duplosed.
You're being encouraged not to be just stupid, but also geeky as well.
The geekiness...
I'm Kevin Lossner.
Let me just say, the geekiness is done.
That is done.
We've done that.
We are...
Yes.
And you are done with that. You have to be finished. That is done. We've done that. We are. We are. Yes. And you are done with that.
You have to be finished.
That is over.
I don't know what the hat was about, but let's.
Sorry.
And you read Revenge of the Nerds?
I read that.
Revenge of the Nerd colon Iowa debris breaks out on Big Mouth.
Sorry.
Okay.
Do you see what happened?
And it's you.
I blacked out.
This is what you're doing to me. You think you're helping and you're actually causing me to lose my memory
and what is comedy if not recall
if i am not able to call back to things
try to call back to something from earlier in the show think about what
we've done it's a
pretty good time we're 35 minutes in
it's a pretty good time
to drill a call back through
the uprights if you can
ignoring the fact that you
did just pull back Duplass
a moment ago yeah
it would have been a good time to do that
oh and Hayes did that
because I started it.
And that was funny.
You jumped in.
Huh?
You jumped in.
Just like Mark Duplass would at a close friends and family screening of Sean's troubled movie.
Ding, ding, ding.
Uh-oh.
Looks like my wife got a notification from her job at www.shitpiss.com
no don't do not say that my wife works for
do not say she works at my wife's at www.inspired.com
no don't come nasty website
I can't remember the exact words
but nasty something jackoff.com
film screeners jackoff.com
remember that
that's what she was calling back to
that was so far
from
from the time of now
that was a really long time ago
and she kind of remembered that.
Yeah.
It didn't connect to what I was trying to play off of, really.
But I got the idea.
And I like the area for it.
It was probably a little too weird of an approach.
But I'm done.
I've given up on that.
Why do people keep asking you
in all this news I see,
people keep asking you
when you're going to break out?
Yeah.
You don't know. Ask me.
Ask me when she's going to do it.
Okay, Hayes, when am I going to break out?
As soon as you stop being so stupid, such an idiot.
What the hell?
You listen to one goddamn thing.
I'm not taking that
one john when am i gonna break out the fucking first second you listen to one goddamn thing
we try to tell you about your career right kevin smash her past with this drama io Well.
Well.
And say the truth.
And you have to say the truth.
And we know if you're lying.
Smash or pass?
Yeah, smash, obviously.
Smash. Smash.
I'm not an idiot.
I just behave stupid.
Okay.
That's lit.
Okay, okay.
Smash, okay.
That's lit.
So,
what do you got going on?
What are you promoting?
Sorry, someone's chair? chair yeah that's my chair can you hear it yeah that's why i called out the sound you ever seen one of
these they're new they're not new they're it's a fidget spinner they're quite they're old they're
really new that's new they just started they just started
they're about to be
everywhere
I don't think that's
true they're not
they're pretty old
they are new at AF
they're new at AF
I can get you one
they're new at AF they're new at Aber. I can get you one. Yes. They're new at AF.
They're new at Abercrombie and Fitch.
At the new at symbol AF.
At Abercrombie and Fitch.
Yeah.
At Abercrombie and Fitch.
I hang out there a lot because I heard a rumor that if they think you're good looking, they'll come over to you and ask you if you want a job there because they think you're attractive and i just like i just hang out there
all day i try to shop there and look at 15 years i try to shop there and look at the clothes in
like a cool way that they'll be like hey do you like this is crazy but like do you would you like
to work here i get so dressed up when I spend the whole day there.
And I go to all different ones all over the country.
I buy a bunch of clothes there and then I come out of the dressing room
and I keep shopping there with the clothes that I just bought.
You can do this with it.
Wow.
Yeah.
And they're inventing all kinds of new stuff you can do with it as well
in addition to.
Yes.
When it comes out, then there's no end to the innovations that will occur.
I guess,
I guess I can appreciate that.
And I think I can appreciate what you guys have tried to do for me.
Even though.
Cheer you on. Support you. support you support me cheerleader we remember
that stuff that's not good yeah i guess i it's interesting because like you guys you know you're
you're podcasting in in podcasts golden age some would say maybe la weekly in 2014
um with some of our generation's funniest personalities offering up thousands of
hours of free content weekly um you're doing things like constantly stifling her own laughter with a default format
interview show that doesn't involve
preparation. Can we get to the point, please?
Is there a point to this?
Anywhere in sight.
Did you use your famously stupid
recall to
forget what the point even was by the time you
even started talking?
Which was so
interesting because I actually heard about you on the
news that Iowa Debris Big Boss Dubu Missy
is just getting started.
Interesting.
Real ones already know you.
If you're someone who finds yourself on Twitter for longer
than 10 minutes at the time or at the
Bell House in Brooklyn during pre-pandemic times,
it's likely you've seen the comedian's
name or at least a handful of her viral tweets.
You guys are really inhabiting some blowhards right now. You're inhabiting some blowhards.
Maybe for the purpose of lampooning them. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to tell.
But I would definitely say that the satire of social climbing, backstabbing, and self-satisfied film industry personalities,
it's not starting to feel
like satire. Don't look up.
Don't look up.
Don't look up.
Even if you mention it in the same breath,
oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Best picture nominee.
And do not talk to me about
Spider-Man, please.
I will not get in the middle of this.
I love both things.
I love my friend Spider-Man.
And of course, I love to don't look up.
They're both equally important in my life and now you want the media wants me to pick a side
in a war between my two best friends the don't look pass come on non-smash moment i owe my dog has a name
that he calls the sex in the city reboot and i wonder if you'd like to hear it okay i could hear
part of it okay i i'd hear i'd hear if hayes hears the front half i would hear the back half i'm okay do you know
what it is called yes and just like that uh-huh yeah he calls it and that just happened is he does
he is that like a satirical name or do you think that he's just getting it wrong or is that i
believe he's gotta get wrong he's okay no it's not meant to a joke. He just will bring up the show and he'll be like,
you know, he'll say,
I feel like I'm on and that just happened or something.
Okay.
Like in reference to like what's something that happened.
I saw a Peloton ad.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I guess I was doing a podcast,
which they're doing on that show.
Sure. That's true did you see comedy bang bang
poster in the podcast background
I screamed
and so you're the people trying to help me
they have comedy bang bang
on and that just happened
they actually have that in that same world
buddy you were in the show
that means I'm in it
you're in the show you were in the show that means i'm in it you're in the show
you're in the universe i'm in and that just right now if they have connie bang bang then i'm in that
show you're like over shea diaz shoulder oh my god yeah i can't believe i did that. Be a Metro. You're fully in and that's a thing.
I am fully...
So that's a thing.
I am...
I'm actually in
and what about that?
You just did a thing.
I'm in...
Catch me outside.
How about that?
I can't believe I got to be in
I see what you did that
do you think it would be bad if Alexa
could read our minds
good or bad if Alexa could
actually smash or pass
smash or pass I think that's wise i think that's why i
think that's wise at first it seems fun but there's all these unintended consequences that
you don't consider until you really don't think about it no that's so yeah half dozen scenarios
yeah probably like 13 or 14 even i would say say. Yes. Which is more than a half dozen, I'm realizing.
But that's, yeah.
No, yes, it's more.
It's a lot.
It's more scenarios than you even think you would need to drive the point home.
Yeah.
That's good, though.
Some of them seem like double beats.
But they're not.
They're like.
Each with their own nuance. nuance yeah i think it would be
bad and pass and the question i mean like sometimes seems to be what if alexa could
read our minds and decided to share with everyone everyone what our minds said not and sometimes
it's not even about reading our minds so much as just like telling the truth
about something
in the world well you know
it's so funny we as
human beings I think we
sorry I just as human beings
you know we don't
keep this in like the 25
to 75 percent
sorry what
you're so it's so good for me right now yeah
we don't really connect with each other anymore so much of our inner lives is on the internet
could you imagine if alexa shared your most personal thoughts and and searches with strangers. Like if you went to a website
that was really gross, maybe.
That's what a great example.
It feels like it's going to be the same.
Is this maybe the same callback again?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This isn't that? Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't that?
Okay.
No, no, no.
But if he...
Sorry.
No, just if you...
Well, what if Alexa also was operating your appliances?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That expressed similar ideas to what you were thinking about.
Pulling up YouTube videos.
Was sometimes just saying something.
Like Hollywood Handbook introduces Bosch star Titus Welliver
to Bosch the dog at Vulture Festival.
Stuff like that.
Okay.
What?
Are you just talking about something that
like just an example of us being
online?
Just like something
of ours that's online? I don't understand.
I don't understand how that connects to what we're
talking about, which is whether we would smash or pass on a lecture reading our minds yeah sorry okay i can see how i got i actually like what you're yeah what's up you're almost
now being so normal that it's like even more fucked up and i'm wondering if we go back to the weird stuff yeah realizing that i
may have misunderstood the job no no no no no no no no no because listen i hate if anything you
would get it you're blonde and blue-blooded you know what i mean yeah and the shoes don't forget
the shoes thing yeah they're fresh white converse i wear fresh right converse sneakers and compared to my disgusting dirty white
running shoes with must brown hair and yet and yet we make it work don't we
who stinks like a little boy i think you believe two completely different kinds of guy. Yeah.
One has fresh white converse
and was an erstwhile Jeopardy
contestant who's never taken an improv
class and the other has dirty white running
shoes, must brown hair and stink like
a little boy. No.
And lives in improv class.
I just...
I also, I mean like I appreciate
the specification that I was an erstwhile
Jeopardy contestant at the time that I wasn't
currently
being a Jeopardy contestant
at the time that I was
like being featured in this article
just helps me mark it in
time that it wasn't like wow
it was 50 years ago
it was erstwhile
I don't know you guys talked was erstwhile. I don't know.
You guys talked me off a ledge.
I don't feel
like being crazy.
I don't feel like being random.
I want to be
a proper comedian.
I want to be a philosopher, a therapist,
a mind reader, a spelunker
of minds.
I want to be the architect of minds. I want to be the architect
of nightmares. I want
to be
the vampire
of society.
You want to be essentially the
Merovingian.
But are you a tour guide as well?
I am.
I am. And I take you on
the Serengeti that is my wild mind
and also the sick plane of society's illnesses,
which is, you know, I'm a doctor in that way, too.
I perform surgery on society's cancers.
They did surgery on a damn grape.
Bye.
Hollywood Hamburg. That was a Hate Gum podcast. Adriana, damn grape. Bye. Hollywood Handbook.
That was a Hate Gum podcast.