Hollywood Handbook - Ayo Edebiri, Our Expert Youth Friend

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

AYO EDEBIRI comes on the show to give The Boys some youth culture tips. This episode is sponsored by My Sheets Rock (www.mysheetsrock/THEBOYS code: THEBOYS), Away (www.awaytravel.com/theb...oys20 code: THEBOYS20), and Kettlebell Kitchen (www.kettlebellkitchen.com code: THEBOYS)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. So it was, obviously we're working on a super tight deadline and everyone's pretty stressed, but we know that we're on to something special. And I finally turned to pac-man jones and i say pac-man jones i say pac-man what if we layer the phone call over the footage. Because what we had was two, really two ideas. One was a private phone call between Antonio Brown and his coach, John Gruden. Not visually compelling.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Yes. Problem. You know, a lesson we should have learned with draft day. I mean, you know, a lesson we should have learned with draft day. We also had, of course, just a lot of black and white footage of Antonio Brown looking pensive, looking cool, working out, and being a little weird. You sent me the cut where all of that is over silence. Yes. And then it's the phone call with like a sound wave.
Starting point is 00:01:34 And that is Pac-Man's version. Yeah. The phone call is just a sound wave. Okay, thank you for not telling me that so I could make an unbiased. And I just said, which one of these do you like better? I love being unbiased. Under the footage, or do you like the silent footage you like the one where the phone calls under the footage? Or do you like the silent footage for two minutes? And then the phone call with just the sound wave.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And do you remember what you said? I said, is this okay that you are doing this at all? Is this allowed to do? And then I said, and why? And also, what are you, what's wrong? What are you upset about? Like what is happening? That I was upset?
Starting point is 00:02:11 I didn't know who, and also who is upset. Right, right. Well, what I said. Please jump in with a contribution. Any, when, if ever you want to or don't. Yeah, thank you. Sorry, we have a guest. Hi. Hi.
Starting point is 00:02:24 This is Io. Hi, I'm Io.. Hi. Hi. This is Ayo. Hi, I'm Ayo. Are you named after Ayo West or Ayo Chicago? Thank you so much for that. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Because we would think one would prefer to be named after Ayo Chicago. Longer standing institution. A little more history there. If you are Iowa West, because it has now become a den for thieves, drug dealers. Criminals of the like. Actually, you could own the brand in a very strong way. And I know that. And that's why it's so heartbreaking. I'm actually named
Starting point is 00:03:05 after the Iowa cruise ship division. Don't say cruise ships! I'm not going to lie. No, but yeah, you have to honor your family. And my heritage and where I come from. And it's there. It's that. It's the open seas.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. And it's this guide. It's this insider's that. It's the open seas. Hmm. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. And it's this guide. It's this insider's guide. Huh. And in the past, we've had Shelby Farrow come on the show and be young for us. She was our official youth correspondent. She's young like us and she's in the know. Unfortunately, while we have stayed extremely relevant, she is now 24.
Starting point is 00:03:48 We think, yes, 24. I heard 24. And when you turn 24, you are sent to a colony on Mars to excavate rocks. Yep. Yeah. And the rocks are the rocks that they actually make jewels out of. For the young people. Yes. Yeah. They the rocks are the rocks that they actually make jewels out of. For the young people. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Yeah. They're jewel rocks. And then they get put on the young people's medallions and rings and all the like. Yeah. You didn't say anything about mine, by the way. My jewel ring. Your Mars jewel. Ah, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:20 My Mars jewel belt. I never know. I never know. And my toe ring. What the right etiquette is. It's jutting out of my vans right now. Yes. And this is something young people are doing now is they will cut open one piece of the van so that you can see the toe ring.
Starting point is 00:04:35 And that is just one of the first youth culture tips we're going to give you today. Young people are jeweling and it is causing their lungs to collapse from the weight of the jewels when they go to sleep. Yes, it's true. I recently, however, was so fortunate to have plastic surgery on my lungs. And so now my lungs are lined with titanium. Oh, congratulations. That's so fortunate. Lung veneers.
Starting point is 00:05:03 They're lung veneers. That's very fortunate. It's really cool. And so they're likeeneers they're long veneers that's very fortunate it's really cool and they're so they're like hot they're sexy they're fun but i can basically jewel for seven hours straight uh which is most of my time that i spend awake in the day then i go to bed for the rest uh 17 now when you say you can jewel for seven hours straight what is that i was curious in the context of just like wearing jewels you can wear like what's the action
Starting point is 00:05:30 yeah so basically you know like from you just like physically from the elbow to the mouth from the knee to the ear from the foot to the mouth we're moving those parts from the foot to the mouth I actually know that one pretty well. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:05:45 It's a condition. It's a condition. Now I've gotten in some trouble on the show. Yeah, okay. Are you, is it, is everything like fine now? I don't know. And that's her being like, should I be doing, am I making a mistake? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Because I don't want to get. And it's like, do your research. Well, I just don't want to get, you know. Well, do your research then. I don't want to get like, can't. Okay, then you should actually listen to all the episodes Before you do the show If you want to know
Starting point is 00:06:07 I literally I was born so recently That I don't even have time So it's fine but I just like You know how young I am There have not been enough hours in your entire life To listen to every episode of Hollywood Handbook And that's staying power
Starting point is 00:06:24 Yep You honor me by saying that you were unable to listen to every episode of Hollywood Handbook and that's staying power. Yep. That you honor me by saying that you weren't unable to listen to the show. Plus with the hours that I actually spend awake, if you just do the math, it's going to take me a few more years. Listen while I sleep. Listen while you
Starting point is 00:06:39 sleep. I know, but then it just seeps into my brain and then I'm doing things in my subconscious. And this is what I'm in trouble for. Is that I have been programming people in their sleep to do nefarious deeds. Oh my God. More than one of which is
Starting point is 00:06:58 take over the Iowa West campus. And it all comes back. And it all comes back to Iowa West. Those are all my minions let's go as a scheme callback those are my minions but i'm not so favorite minion meme go which one should i be checking out lately don't look you're looking at me okay so shelby here's that is not looking at me? Okay, so Shelby hears that. It's not looking at us. No, I'm looking at you. Shelby is running with it.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Okay, I'm looking at you so that you can look me in the eye when I say. I love the Minion meme on TikTok when Kevin has the gun and he's dabbing with the gun to Lil Nas X song. Panini? Panini. It's Panini? Panini Panini It's Panini in the left ear and Rodeo in the right Wow
Starting point is 00:07:49 And he shoots out little versions of Cardi B and she goes to the camera and it's like six seconds long Yes So it's like so long That's a lot of things packed into six seconds and that's youth culture if you're not packing in
Starting point is 00:08:08 as many things into six seconds you literally might as well be on the fucking Mars you might as well be on Mars mining rocks for my jewels sorry you have and it's a podcast isn't it and say the truth
Starting point is 00:08:23 yeah I have a podcast and it's with Olivia and you've heard of iRobot It's a podcast, isn't it? And say the truth. Yeah, I have a podcast. And it's with Olivia. It's with Olivia Crankhead. And you've heard of iRobot, and this is iconography? Is that correct? That is correct. And that's what it's called.
Starting point is 00:08:36 It is. That's what it's called. And it's forever dog, and let's face it, forever dog's where the energy is. This place is a friggin' fossilized dinosaur in the museum. I love walking around this cemetery and just reading all the tombstones on the wall. There's so many on the wall is the thing.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Basically for every dog we all, it's like, do you know Google offices? Yeah. It's like, oh everybody's swimming. I'll Google offices two or three times a day. Mm-hmm. So pretty much, yeah. Don't hit your head on that please
Starting point is 00:09:08 oh sorry I just all the material is very old it's not like forever dog you just freaking bang your head you can bang your head on whatever no not allowed here oh wow that it's actually turning to dust that's crazy
Starting point is 00:09:23 basically forever dog we all have... I shake Sam's hand when I come in here, and I have to, like, release really quick so the spiderwebs don't, like, shoot too far up my hand. And, like, my whole arm. It's a big concern. You have, like, there's a nest that's been laid in your upper body. Yes, they laid a nest.
Starting point is 00:09:41 They really did. They're working so fast now. I'm like, hey, Zaymo. You should take that to an urgent care center or something. It's pretty obvious. Forever Dog is an urgent care center also. Oh, wow. That's really nice.
Starting point is 00:09:53 And you can frigging get your weed card there. Absolutely. You know I'm smoking bonk all day at Forever Dog. Yes, I love bonking on the kind buds. Yes, I love bonking on the kind buds. Now, we do have, obviously, a bunch of creepy ghouls that populate this entire company. Scott Aukerman is the Crypt Keeper, and Paul F. Tompkins is actually Paul Bearer, the Undertaker's hype man. And Laura Lapkus, I guess, then, is the the undertaker which I didn't want
Starting point is 00:10:27 I wasn't gonna make her that but she's done it to herself by standing next to the Crypt Keeper and Ball Bearer so at this point what we really want to do is pivot the conversation to
Starting point is 00:10:44 what can we do to get into forever dog oh you hear bosh is chewing on a bone yeah they're everywhere yeah oh my god the bones are everywhere oh my god is that levar burton's bones so levar burton's podcast is actually still alive it's still alive? it's not currently bones is that correct Sam? yes Sam can only nod
Starting point is 00:11:11 at this point and I don't know if it's him or the spiders are munching on a particularly aggressive fly and it's pulling the strings talking about all the bones here reminds me of a dog toy I saw yesterday particularly aggressive fly and it's like pulling the strings or whatever. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Talking about all the bones here reminds me of a dog toy I saw yesterday that was a creepy, spooky skeleton. And then it, it says a bone to be wild. Do you write that out? Um, I don't actually write or read that is out of fashion for people who are
Starting point is 00:11:43 young. Did you pitch it? That I did do. Did you pitch it? That I did do. I pitch hard. I pitch fast. I watch YouTube. Did you pitch the ghost coming out of a keg cup and it says I'm here for the booze?
Starting point is 00:11:56 Did you pitch the mummy next to a coffin that says creeping it real? Yeah, that's me. Did you pitch the ghost next to a talk bubble? It says, I'll do whatever I want. Yeah. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:12:12 I guess my fingerprints are all over this industry. These are all dog toys? Did you pitch the coffin and it says straight out of coffin? Did you pitch the mummy inside the coffin and it says wrap it up? Yeah. So you pitched all of these well this is the thing he's um when you're young you're freelancing constantly my mark is all over this industry and i have no choice but for it to be if i'm just in one industry if i'm just podcasting i'm i'm asleep and i already sleep 17 hours a day. So that's dangerous at that point. So basically I wake up, I have
Starting point is 00:12:49 six espressos and a mud into my small Six espressos and a mud? And I... A freaking jug of mud. A cup of mud from the mud truck. Hot cup of sludge. Mud truck's outside. One mud, please. You know what comes out of the mud swamp thing?
Starting point is 00:13:10 Tell me what comes out of the swamp thing? The DC swamp thing? Yeah, you know, and you know DC's swamp thing is friggin' Dave Holmes. At this point, all the friggin' scary monsters live here. They live here, they dwell. Here be monsters monsters for sure. Can you remind me what the Count Dragula toy at the Petco said?
Starting point is 00:13:33 Because I didn't get a picture of that one. The Count Dragula toy? Yeah. Is it the one? Probably things for the memories. It's Count Drag Dracula and a mummy actually and Brandon Fraser's mummy from the mummy and it's thanks for the mummeries
Starting point is 00:13:52 fangs for the mummeries it's a thanks for the mummeries it's one of the ones where if you shift it in the light it changes so it says thanks for the mummeries or fangs for the mummer or fangs for the mummies. Fangs for the mummy rears. Yeah, and that one is actually
Starting point is 00:14:10 the one that makes the most. That makes the most cents or money? Yeah, friggin' dollars. I guess cents is money, yeah. Thank you. I think it said love at first bite. So they did not go with your pitch
Starting point is 00:14:25 Of the hologram one Okay that's really awkward That's really awkward Because I spent a lot of time with the hologram one Yeah and that Obviously would have made a lot of sense Thank you A.K.A. Cash Capital Bitcoin
Starting point is 00:14:40 So Bitcoin is the hot thing We've obviously tried to mine it on the show before by generating random numbers. What did we do wrong? Because what we wound up with, I think, was Ripple, which is a much less valuable cryptocurrency. Well, Bitcoin is honestly
Starting point is 00:15:00 dying at this point. Bitcoin cash? Fit right in around here. One of the hard forks, that's the way to go? Yeah, pretty much we're going straight to blood in these streets. We're exchanging blood for capital at this point. And so you got to try. I know a certain dog toy that might be interested in that.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Yeah. And I don't want to bring up old memories, but... But if you must. Is this... Ayo? This is a question I've been having. Is this show gang gig?
Starting point is 00:15:39 Is this like... I see young people saying this. Is this... Can we be that too? Can I be that. Can we be that too? Can you be? Can I be that? Can we be gang gang? Can I please be gang gang, please?
Starting point is 00:15:51 Well, guys, this is a lot of pressure for me. Can you just talk to the young people? Can you talk to some of them and say if we're gang gang, please? This is really tough. Because I got to circle back. I don't know if I can make that vertigo on myself if I go out into these streets and I'm saying this is
Starting point is 00:16:09 as you said in that context gay gang yeah is that okay gay gang you singing it am I extra am I so extra I mean you're a little much right now. You're not so extra.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I knew it. Oh, come on. Don't beat yourself up. I knew it. Don't beat yourself up. I could feel it, Hayes. Did no one tell you this before? Or were you just afraid?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Well, unfortunately, they did. That's why I asked. I was hoping they were wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No. Forever Dog is in this little wood panel office downtown. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:52 It's like a detective's office. Sometimes I like imagining what the detective's ghost is thinking. Just being like, what the fuck is happening in here? It is. There is like a man who exclusively smoked out of a pipe and like gazed out of a window at a woman in like heels who was like looking back and forth in the sort of like rain fog situation. These people are talking about a drag race, but there's no cars. Sex, love, dating, and boys. My God. My God, what have we come to?
Starting point is 00:17:35 And the detective's ghost is sending me. And what, how do we get into this office? Okay, well, if I just like, I feel, I was invited here, you know, to bring in an expert's perspective. So I just might have to let it rip. Is that okay?
Starting point is 00:17:55 Yeah. Are you sure that you can handle that? Yeah. Because I saw Sean about to crack at being told that he's a little much. And letting it rip is like bonking as well, right? It's bonk adjacent for sure. That's hot bonk. So what am I serving?
Starting point is 00:18:12 Okay, well, I mean, like right now you're sort of giving me like single father. I'm serving single dad. Trying to get his real ID. at the DMV like vibes. Trying to get his real ID. Mm-hmm. Because you've been living off of a fake one. Okay, well you told me that
Starting point is 00:18:31 this is the form I was missing last time and now I have it. Sir, I, sir once again, you cannot enter this line if you do not have all the forms. Well how would I have this? Sir, sir, please if you don't. But you didn't say that, so this is... Sir, may I speak?
Starting point is 00:18:47 This is who I am. Sir, no one's denying... I am who I say I am. Sir, I believe you, obviously. No one is denying your identity. However, if you do not... You are. That's exactly what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Sir, if you do not fill out these forms... Forms? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I should have finished high school. What was I thinking? My mother was right.
Starting point is 00:19:16 She was right this whole time. Oh, I have it. I have it. Oh. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah, this is beautiful. Yeah, that's my phone bill. And this is forever, dog? That's forever, dog. We used to yeah, this is beautiful. Yeah, that's my phone bill.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And this is forever, dog? We used to do this kind of thing. And it's you being here that has inspired us. Yes, we're in these little scenic moments, and we blend in and out seamlessly. Okay, I'm just going to off rip, just off dome, right? Just give a few, off the top, give just a few like off top give just like a few thoughts Bosch smaller you need to shrink Bosch
Starting point is 00:19:49 Bosch needs to be much smaller sorry he's not gonna like that would be funny of him carrying around this huge bone and okay already we're getting new life we're getting humor we're getting fresh
Starting point is 00:20:03 we're getting like life. We're getting humor. We're getting fresh. We're getting irony. A tiny piece. Just a visual joke, yes, of this giant bone and a little tiny bot. And you're like, well, this dog is so small, but this bone is so huge. That's ironic. That's detached. Bosh got a bath yesterday, if you guys want to take a big whiff of him. I have been. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:20 I have been doing this. Have you taken a big hard sniff? I haven't taken a hard sniff of your dog. Oh, that's crazy. But he got a bath yesterday. Well, I just got told. But in order to basically having like five senses is out. And I only have four.
Starting point is 00:20:37 And so I got rid of my sense of smell. Are they? Okay. But the sense of smell is gone. And it's the four other traditional ones. It's not one new one. Smell a sense of smell. Well, like living fast, hard, making cash, podcasting.
Starting point is 00:20:54 So these are all, that is a sense. Living fast, hard, making cash, podcasting. One of the senses is money. One of the senses is hard. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And so do you see the way that he's saying, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:07 That he's just seizing on it and sort of repeating it back to you. I'm going to connect with you with a language that you might understand. Give me a chance. I'm a yes man. I'm trying Red Bull for the first time in 2011. You're getting wings. You got a big... What is it? What happens in those commercials?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Like the guy has a big nose and then there's an alligator and then he has angel wings. Who? I'm just trying to connect with the culture. Red Bull? One of them is having sex. Yeah, Green Book. One of the Red Bull commercials. The fucking cartoons are getting it on.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Is that young? Cartoons are having sex. Cartoons are hornier than they were, huh? Exactly. Well, they're more explicitly. The Red Bull commercial is freaking hentai. It's true. It's true.
Starting point is 00:21:58 It is. It is. It technically, legally is. And I have to be honest. Thank you for your transparency. What is happening on the show that you do? Is there a segment? Yeah, we have to be honest. Thank you for your transparency. What is happening on the show that you do? Is there a segment? Yeah, we have segments.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Okay, which can we do it? Can we do a segment? Yeah. Okay, we play one that's called Celebrity Stock Market. Okay. So we buy and sell celebrities. Commodities trading. Exactly. People aren't people aren't
Starting point is 00:22:27 people they're cash corn beans they're meat exactly they're beans they're milk they're eggs they're hershey's chocolate i don't they're samsung they're intel pro they're cointel pro i don't love being producted when the media is producting me oh my god i don't always love that okay well buckle up because that's young that's youth i love it so yes exactly i like it yes it should happen more you look 17 to me right now i'm buying shares of zach efron who's in the celebrity stock market it's everybody but basically you have to pick if you're going to buy you're going to sell you're going to hold people
Starting point is 00:23:09 because you buying Zach Efron mistake I'm buying low on Snack Efron I could see him really taking off Snack Efron is dead his stock code is F-R-O-N. Why is he dead? Ted Bundy movie? Yeah, that kind of flopped.
Starting point is 00:23:34 And then he was in that Beach Bob. Can't flop on Netflix. And that's true. Netflix is infallible. Netflix is God. Netflix is money. Netflix is perfect. Netflix is Bay. Netflix is Yas Queen. Zaddy. Perfect. Netflix is Bae. Netflix is Yas Queen. When Bae's a streaming service.
Starting point is 00:23:53 So, okay, great. All right, that kind of bombed. And then you said Beach Bum? Beach Bum kind of flopped. So he would be somebody who was like... Did you like Beach Bum? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:05 That's good to know. He went to's good to know he went to a screening with the I went to a screening follow up Q&A okay if there's anything you didn't understand about it
Starting point is 00:24:13 he might be able to explain it to you I can tell you about it did you did you you liked how irreverent it was um
Starting point is 00:24:20 yes and you thought that the poems being bad that was like funny the what being bad the poems being bad um that was like funny. The what being bad? The poems being bad. Yeah, I mean, it's just really the one poem over and over again for the most part. It just made me feel crazy.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Yeah. I liked Martin Lawrence. He was unbelievable. He was really good. I mean, he was so funny in it. Honestly, I laughed out loud at that. I probably laughed out loud at that movie more times than any other movie I saw this year. Any other movie?
Starting point is 00:24:47 That I saw this year. Did you see Ma? No. Okay, go see Ma. Is Ma on the celebrity stock market? Ma is the cash capital. How's she doing? Let's check the ticker.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Ma's going high. Ma crack you up? Ma's soaring. Ma crack you up? My friend wrote it. I feel like... Shut up. You crack you up? Ma soaring. Ma crack you up? My friend wrote it. I feel like... Shut up. You feel like what? I just feel like I know
Starting point is 00:25:09 a lot of people who are like, that guy's my friend. Yes. Well, that's sort of his job is being friends. Okay, well... And writing Ma. Put in his ear that the people want a Ma too. The Ma the merrier. Okay. I'll pitch it.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Okay. Ma's been acting kind of weird lately. She's like, no, it's just like she's, I don't know. Hey, Ma. She's not a kid. She's a black woman. Hey! Hey, Ma.
Starting point is 00:25:39 That's her other phone. I only saw the trailer. My favorite part of Ma is when the kids are going. And you come to my house tonight. I'm 18. I live a crazy life. And we can go to Ma's run. Hi, Ma.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Hey, Ma. What's up? Yeah, Ma. Okay. And Ma's getting drunk tonight. I'm mine for gems. Me too. me too okay we can go to monster night i got wet lung at monster night be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually
Starting point is 00:26:22 works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babble is designed by real people
Starting point is 00:27:07 for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of draw it towards them? They're pulling it what does
Starting point is 00:27:26 that mean does their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost. And they're standing in the middle. And as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost. And they're really aggressively pushing it out. I'm like, am I supposed to pull over, get out of the car? Yes. Or just do it out the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing.
Starting point is 00:28:21 That seems dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there. Continued to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20 day money back guarantee.
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Starting point is 00:30:26 laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons and what are some of them? It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal. The promise is the meal makes us sleepy.
Starting point is 00:30:57 You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah, your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. I know. Give you a ton of energy. They have like smoothies and things like that. This is wrong.
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Starting point is 00:32:28 I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie, 27 dresses, before I found out how much it was costing. Yes. much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money
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Starting point is 00:34:00 and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook okay that's another part of youth of ma of the? Of the show. Your show. Oh, okay. Use this time. I'm trying. My brain is so fast.
Starting point is 00:34:30 My brain. I can't even get into how fast my brain is with you right now. The things that I'm thinking about right now, seven at least. Different things? Yes. Oh, go. Name three of them. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:43 The climate. The climate. My favorite TikTok. My favorite Minions meme. Different things. Name three of them. Okay, the climate. My favorite TikTok. My favorite Minions meme. Instagram stories. Okay, now those were the same thing. Come on. So that's one thing.
Starting point is 00:34:51 The Minions meme was the TikTok. That's not my favorite TikTok. Okay, she's got our ass. Yeah. She just busted my ass. My favorite TikTok is four seconds long.
Starting point is 00:35:02 It's a boy skateboarding. He starts to levitate. He's wearing his mom's wig. And he goes, uh, you skirt? Dong, dong. And it rocks. Everyone's skirting. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:12 They're skirting the issue. What is happening on the show? Dong, dong. Me and Olivia, we just chat. We bring on a guest. And then they'll talk about their favorite celebrity who they think is like an icon to them. So like Dwayne Perkins, he's a comic. He talked about Jordan Peele.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Yeah, he's coming on our show. Tell me who he is. I gotta tell the people. Whatever Earwolf shows have you done? I did Edgar Placier's show, The Wokest. Did it? You did it? Did it as well.
Starting point is 00:35:41 You did it, right? Yeah, we did it. We did our ass off. We don't do stuff apart. Like anything? He did it as well. You did it, right? Yeah, we did it on the same one. We did our ass off. We don't do stuff apart. Like anything? He's my best friend. And I notice, yeah, and like you show up here and where's Olivia? I don't actually even see Olivia today.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Is she on the phone? Hello? Where's Olivia? Oh, the line's been cut? Oh, God. Somebody cut the line? Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure. Can you not bring... Why to you for a second Why would you say that
Starting point is 00:36:08 Why would I say that You want me to say that Olivia is here She's just quiet If you keep asking me these sort of questions She's being quiet Okay but should I leave No just stop listening Just stop listening
Starting point is 00:36:22 Okay so Olivia's here but she's being quiet Maybe Sam can do like a little Olivia voice Just from like far away No, just stop listening. Just stop listening. Okay, so Olivia's here, but she's being quiet. But she's being quiet. Maybe Sam can do a little Olivia voice, just from far away. So Olivia's in the corner. Okay, fine. Yeah, okay. I'll just do it. Olivia?
Starting point is 00:36:34 Popcorn? Want some popcorn? I'm okay, thank you. I have a sore... I just feel sick. So I'm just going to be quiet for now. Thank you. Okay, Liv.
Starting point is 00:36:44 You can just stay quiet. You go, girl. I respect your right to be quiet. now. Thank you. Okay, Liv. You can just stay quiet. You go, girl. I respect your right to be quiet. And we try to give Sam one opportunity. And that was Sam's. We give Sam one thing to do every episode. I said explicitly that Sam was going to get to do that. I was happy because Hayes had really carved out a safe space to let Sam do his thing.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Okay, this is what I'm saying. I have seven things on my mind. So we can take it from the top. Let's just take it again. Okay. Okay. Okay, Olivia. No.
Starting point is 00:37:04 You're taking mine? You know, you're taking Hayes' line. Okay. Okay. Olivia. No. You're taking mine? You're taking Hayes' line. Okay, sorry. You go ahead. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you serious? For real? I'm asking you that. What a fucking line hog. You want Sam's line and Hayes' line?
Starting point is 00:37:19 She's like bumping everyone else's lines. I feel like this could be my podcast. You may want to learn at some point. What's up? It's nice to have a friend because often I show up for this show and I straight up don't have it. And I need to have Hayes here to do it instead. That feels like a you problem. I was doing lines with a freaking bubble tea straw.
Starting point is 00:37:41 I feel I'm jacked up right now. I don't give an F and I'm starting to snort the boba. Oh no. Don't you chop up monster rails on the earwolf signature table. It's turning to dust as we speak. I gotta get him in now fast. Okay, let's do the, okay, so Olivia's sick, right? Let's take it
Starting point is 00:37:57 from there. No, that's the end. What? Olivia being sick is the end of it. Oh. We start from the beginning. Right. Olivia. Yeah. Olivia.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Is it popcorn? Mm-hmm. See? See how nice? That's what he was bringing to the table? That was it. That. He was bringing the fucking treatment. That's right.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Thank you, Sam. No, Olivia. Sometimes less is more. Thank you, Sam. Yeah. Hello, Bolivia. That was Olivia. Mm-hmm. Sometimes less is more. Wham, bam. Thank you, Sam. Yeah. Hello, Bolivia. That was Olivia. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Bolivia. Yeah, that's the closest I got. Hello, Bolivia. Hello, Bolivia. That's Olivia. Now, wham and bam both rhyme. And hello and Bolivia do not rhyme with each other. There's like a slant rhyme with it.
Starting point is 00:38:41 It's like poetry. It's Dickinson. It's Dickinson. It's Dickinson. Ayo, what's the other part? What are you doing on the show? Okay. We also will take the celebrities' moments, key moments from their life,
Starting point is 00:38:59 and then we'll decide if we fuck, marry, kill them. We play games like that. Oh, sick. Okay, so who's a celebrity that you like remember you're young right now are you okay no you just look like you're about to throw up so just give me Easy. Russell Crowe. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's easy.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Russell Crowe. Okay. Hayes, how about we try with you? Garfield. Okay. Can I just toss? Maybe I'll toss it back. Just give me a celebrity that's young.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Carmen Miranda. Carmen Miranda. uh carmen miranda um carmen miranda are you are you crying no okay wait um sam who's a celebrity you're young ma um okay let's um Elaine Stretch whoa um okay how about Jason Jason Voorhees um okay let's say
Starting point is 00:40:19 let's say like let's just say Jordan Peele let's say Ben Affleck Ben Affleck he's not like young but Let's say Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. He's not young, but he's like... Ben Affleck. Is that your minion? That's Kevin. That's Kevin?
Starting point is 00:40:34 Kevin said that. I have one for him, too. You have one for Kevin? For Ben Affleck. Okay, what's up? Affleck. Affleck Affleck Remember?
Starting point is 00:40:47 I remember yeah The duck is sending me The duck is serving me like Sexy duck vibes The duck is sending me like Garfield Send Nermal to Abu Dhabi He did that And he did that
Starting point is 00:41:03 I'm allowed to say that He did that and he did that I'm allowed to say that he did that okay tea and that is tea tea I'm messy today I'm spilling all the tea you're so messy I am messy today okay
Starting point is 00:41:20 okay and so what's the segment that you're the moment is you are you're marrying a moment? So yeah, you like fuck, marry, kill a moment. So like, okay, Ben Affleck, and then we like debate our choices. So like, for example, Ben Affleck will be like, I fuck, marry, and kill in different points in Ben Affleck's career. Yeah, like his career and his life. And his personal life.
Starting point is 00:41:43 Uh-huh. So like, like when everybody was memeing him, because he was like his career and his life. And his personal life. Uh-huh. So like, when everybody was memeing him because he was depressed and vaping everywhere. Okay, I'm fucking that. You don't even know the other moments, but you know that you're fucking that. Yeah. Okay, for sure. Well, it could be like Prestige, like when he
Starting point is 00:41:58 was like Argo guy. Argo fucking that. Okay, you're fucking that. Okay, and you're fucking Vape And then another could be like His like relationships Or like being best friends with Matt I have to fuck that
Starting point is 00:42:14 So hold on you can't fuck everything Oh it's not It's like fuck very cool You have to pick one for each I thought Gen Z was actually sex positive Well I'm I'm like basically One for each? Yeah. I thought Gen Z was actually sex positive. Well, I'm like basically almost, like I'm barely Gen Z. Like I'm basically like the next one.
Starting point is 00:42:34 That we haven't named yet. You're even younger than this? Basically. That we haven't even named a new one. And unfortunately, I'm checking the dictionary and we are fresh out of letters for that. I know. So we don't even know what it is. That tracks with like, we don't want to label anything. We're starting all the way over again.
Starting point is 00:42:52 We're going into the freaking mezzanine. Mezzanine. I got my freaking opera glasses on. I'm lit. I'm having a good time. I'm chilling. I'm peacing. It's wavy. That's a vibe. It's wavy? Yeah, it's wavy. Oh no. It's wavy. That's a vibe. It's wavy? Yeah, it's wavy.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Oh, no. It's wavy. That's the vibe. Sorry. Bet. When would I say bet? No, you would never say it. Yeah, sorry. That's not... Yeah, you can't. I think. What might I say? Just, uh...
Starting point is 00:43:23 You've been saying a lot of things today. But something good. You want something, like, fresh've been saying a lot of things today. But something good. You want something, like, fresh? Yeah. Because it's not getting gay. No, it can't be. It can't at all. I wasn't allowed. I didn't even bring that up. Hayes taught me that. So, just whatever your
Starting point is 00:43:37 friends teach you, you do and you say? Mm-hmm. Whatever? For the most part, if I get taught something by my friends, you're going to hear me saying it as if it's mine shortly thereafter that explains a lot explains my success and some of my failures a lot of your failures
Starting point is 00:43:55 and subsequent cancellations you're one of the most cancelled men alive well yeah but I am alive Well, yeah. But I am alive. To knowledge.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Cheers. To knowledge. Cheers to the mad ones What is Who else has been on that show Greta Teitelman's been on the show Natalie Walker Larry Owens Yeah Natalie Walker used to be most famous
Starting point is 00:44:40 As one of our fans Did you know that I didn't know that She was a freaking non-person. And then we anointed her as one of our fans of our reality show. And now look at her. She's
Starting point is 00:44:53 exploding. She's freaking famo. More famous than the two of us put together. She exposed from being one of our fans of reality show. What happened there? How tall is the two of you put together? Just eyeballing it? Yeah. I know.
Starting point is 00:45:11 So I know this. Let's do a little bit of work. Show your work. A certain ice cream store that only sells mixed in alcohol flavors.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Sure. And so you need to be a really big adult to get in there. Yeah. And we are taller than that doorway when we're stacked on top of each other. Oh, okay. Well, then you can't even get the ice cream at that point. You get hurt trying to get inside. Yes. Well, we thought about trying to, yeah, we've had a couple ideas.
Starting point is 00:45:44 What did you think about trying to do. Yeah. We've had a couple ideas. What did you think about trying to do? Well, we thought that maybe we could be riding like a scooter so that we're on each other's shoulders. So we're tall enough, but we're sitting down. And then we stand up. We ride the scooter through the doorway and we stand up once we're inside. Yeah. What if you do horse? A horse.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Or donkey. That's too tall. No, donkey. You are the legs. Like donkey. You're the legs. You're the head and feet. That doesn't make us taller. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Okay, Hayes, you're the head and feet. You called me right. Okay, Hayes, you're the head indeed. She called me right. Sorry. Yes. That felt so fucking sweet. Ayo, did you know you're going, is it, you are going to, I understand New York is happening? Is she going to go live in New York? I am going to go live in New York for a second.
Starting point is 00:46:47 I owe New York. You've become I owe East. I am a new branch. I am a new branch. I'm I owe East. It's toxic. Watch out, Gotham City Improv. Oof.
Starting point is 00:46:58 And a resounding oof. I owe East coming in. Yeah. Will you be eating a bagel? Sorry? Will you be eating a bagel? Sorry? Will you be eating a bagel? Yeah, I'm eating a bagel. With everything?
Starting point is 00:47:11 No. Ah. Tell me which bagel. I might get a whole wheat bagel. Or an egg bagel. I knew it. Did you know it? That was my next guess. Okay, so what do you think I'm going to get on the bagel? I have pizza bagel now. On the bagel I knew it Did you know it? That was my next guess
Starting point is 00:47:25 Okay so what do you think I'm going to get on the bagel? They have pizza bagel now On the bagel? Oh they have it And that seems like something Pizza Rat would enjoy A little easier to carry for him He's actually really really really really lost a lot of weight Yeah and he's really down to earth, I heard.
Starting point is 00:47:46 So nice. I'm buying shares of Pizza Rat. And I'm fucking the moment that he stole the pizza. Yes, yes, good. And what are you selling? I bought Pizza Rat.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Am I selling something about Pizza Rat or am I selling something else? Z-A-R-T. Zorat. Zart. Zart. I'm selling Mark Zuckerberg. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Sure. Oh. Can I change it? No. Oh, uh, or, uh, can I change it? Um, no. Oh, okay. That's the thing about being young. Everything that you do,
Starting point is 00:48:30 every choice that you make, that you live in is forever. And no one will forget it or forgive you for it. Even if it is a good thing. Lasered into a jewel. Yeah. Uh, my friend got canceled last week for donating $100 to the rainforest.
Starting point is 00:48:45 No way. Because there's not enough money? I don't even talk to them anymore. I forget why. Yeah. But we had to cancel them. It needed to be done. Wow.
Starting point is 00:48:55 $100. Yeah, exactly. Because they're giving money to the rainforest when they should be giving money to the people who are trying to help it. Exactly. If you give it to the rainforest, it's just going to burn. That's okay. So I don't even have to explain it.
Starting point is 00:49:12 No, but I'm learning so much from you, IO East. This is like really, okay, youth word, really triggering. There's stuff that we can share with you too. Stuff about our generation as well. Our catchphrases. Might be cool to go retro. Time to go home and floss and watch
Starting point is 00:49:34 Frasier like that. That is not... I do that. That's like one generation younger than us. Do you want to go see the new Gilbert and Sullivan musical? Like that. say it. That's like one generation younger than us. Do you want to go see the new Gilbert and Sullivan musical? Like that. A musical. And it's not really
Starting point is 00:49:50 a musical. It's kind of a light opera. Okay. Musical's different. This is my big catchphrase. It goes, can you deal with that? It's from the very end of a movie oh wait i think it's the last line how about this i think i got one that i think will resonate with you smoking like that yeah yeah and that close yeah that's close that's not even like directly your generation no it's that's
Starting point is 00:50:23 like no my nephew taught me that one. That was like a generation that's the same age as us, but like standing next to us, if that makes sense. That makes exact sense. That's how I feel about Lil Nas X. Can you do it back? Remember, that's from the end of the movie. He's giving it to friggin' Robert De Niro. And he's giving it to friggin uh Robert De Niro
Starting point is 00:50:45 yeah and he's giving it to the camera as well yes he's absolutely serving he's serving yeah to Cam he is serving Cam he's serving Luke's
Starting point is 00:50:55 and his brother Owen's mhm um okay what about like um Steely Dan that's a catchphrase yes when you're like Steely Dan? That's a catchphrase, yes. When you're like, Steely Dan. Steely Dan's the name of a dildo.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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