Hollywood Handbook - Beth Newell and Sarah Pappalardo, Our Good Friends
Episode Date: November 14, 2016Hayes and Sean have a discussion with BETH NEWELL and SARAH PAPPALARDO from Reductress about their new book "How to Win at Feminism" in a show that is not changed at all by the results of the... election. This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. Inky and Blinky and we're
in my backyard and we're making mud pies
it's a Saturday
it just rained last week and we're making mud pies
and Blinky
or no it was Inky
says
hey when do we get to eat these
uh huh
I'm like Blinky
Inky I go they're not for eating.
They're for you play restaurant.
You sell them to your parents, you know?
Like it's not.
Yeah.
And it's just like, and Diamond Dallas Page started snickering at them
and Denver, the last dinosaur.
And I was like, well, it's not make fun. They're here to learn.
That's why I wanted Inky and Blinky to come start playing at my place.
To learn.
To sort of learn.
Like, this is what you do with mud pies.
You play restaurant.
You sell them with your parents.
Learn imagination.
Yeah, exactly.
Because they're so limited.
They live in that maze with all the power pellets.
Yeah, there are no games in there.
Well, maybe if they learned a little bit
how to play a different game rather than try
to kill Pac-Man.
Maybe that game would be more fun for everyone.
Parents have to buy the mud pies.
Oh, yeah. And they've got to use
real money.
It's a mandatory
restaurant. It's not one where you can choose
whether or not you go and eat the food.
You have to buy it.
And they have to use real money.
Oh yeah. No, it's a great
scheme from my perspective.
Hey!
Welcome to Hollywood Hamburgers.
Welcome to Hamburgers.
The red carpet linebacker.
Industry we call showbiz.
So, look.
So much
changing.
I've been noticing this.
Boo 2016.
Boo 2016?
We, stuff is happening in the country.
Trump is being the president now.
Trump's doing president.
Everybody knows that.
This, we just want to assure everyone.
People are wondering, does the show be different?
Yeah, so much is changing.
What's stable?
You know?
Well, here's something you can rely on.
Your old pal Sean and Hayes.
Yes, we are continuing to do the same show.
We will continue to speak truth to power the way we always have.
We're always going to stand up for what we believe in, just like we have in the past.
And we don't really care if some of the establishment don't like it.
We're not friends with those guys.
Yes.
And one thing that you will never see me becoming is scared.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
We're famously not scared.
And as you just heard, we hang out with ghosts.
Yeah.
So that's pretty brave.
So we're still brave guys.
We're still going to do it.
We're still going to keep making the show until they shut us down and drag us out to the jail.
And that's our promise to you.
And to be part of that is to bring in some guests that a lot of people would be really scared to have, actually.
But for me, I'm very comfortable being around scary people.
And who we have in here is Beth Newell and Sarah Papading.
What is the?
That's right.
Sarah Papading.
Sarah Papading and Beth Newell, post, are here to do the show, just like any other week.
And these gals are doing a magazine or online and doing a book.
And it's all out there for reading, right?
Yes, you guys wrote a radical book.
Can you discuss that, please?
Yeah, I mean, we put words for girls.
Yeah, we made a book called Words for
Girls. So great.
Great response from the girls.
Girls are into it.
Yes, exactly.
I love that.
I'm
so very behind that.
Because I have my boy books, which I enjoy.
Truth of the matter is, yeah.
Yeah, those books are just called words.
Just like words. Yeah.
I mean, we don't really get those words.
We have like a simpler version
for us. You have special words
that you guys get to use. Exactly.
Just like your own words and your
little secrets and it's
fine. You don't have that.
Say you were excited about something.
You might be like, yes, I like that.
And we would be like, yes.
Right.
That's how we would react to it.
One of my favorites.
Oh, I think I've seen this before.
Yeah.
Yeah, one of your favorite.
I was going to say one of my favorite words we use in the book is just like, oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've heard this.
I have heard that. I've experienced that firsthand. My cat does it sometimes as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've heard this. I have heard that.
I've experienced that firsthand.
My cat does it sometimes as well.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I love cats.
We're a lot like cats.
We're very similar, like just a hint of DNA away from being a cat.
Women are sort of the cats of the animal kingdom, don't you think?
I've never heard that one.
That's good.
Yeah.
And dogs are boys.
Dogs are boys and cats are girls.
Yeah, and that's an all-woman book team.
Is it a lot of cat fights going on in the office?
Well, we try to keep them down to a minimum.
We kind of just like...
I mean, a lot of our writers do kind of like scratch up the pages.
Scratch the pages.
Especially if we leave the room for a while.
Yeah, we just got these little colored rubber nubs for their nails
so that they can just cool it and keep working.
They're cute.
I mean, it's kind of like a gel manicure,
but it's to protect the furniture.
Fun and stylish and practical.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Wow, that checks a lot of boxes.
That's so good.
Now, because we are being fighters, we do want to talk about the news.
And one of the things that we want to say is you are women today and every day.
Thank you.
That's correct.
Yeah.
And what do we think about Trump and this whole nasty woman and nasty woman
insane nasty woman he said that
he can he and he has said
allegedly and people are saying
that he has said other things too that are
bad not great
yeah we've also heard about this
yeah it's been a real bummer
in the office you know yeah but
you know I think like you guys were
really just finding the resolve
to, like, fight, you know, this bad thing.
Can you hang on for one second?
I'm sorry about that.
What's going on?
I just have to read this real quick because I had actually heard this might happen.
Okay.
Okay.
One thing we should – yeah.
Okay.
What's going on?
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
One thing we should – yeah.
Okay, what's going on? Okay, yeah.
Okay.
So one of the great things about – the reason we can sort of speak out about this is because Trump is such a big comedy fan.
He's very supportive of comedy.
He's done SNL.
He did Jimmy Fallon and he just enjoys comedy and he loves to laugh.
And he loves to laugh.
So what we have arranged for him is he does have a live feed of the show so he can listen to it and be the first one laughing.
Because as a comedy fan, why would we not want to expose him to some of our comedy?
And so, yeah, he wants the raw, unfiltered good stuff that we're giving with the ha-has, right?
Yeah.
And Obama had this as well, so it would actually be very rude for us to not do it.
No, yeah, we just transferred the feed.
A different president.
Wait, there is a note here.
Yeah.
Just a question.
The kind of questions that we're asking.
Uh-huh.
I have another.
Oh, yeah, I just got another.
You all say the same thing.
We just have to do a little change.
So I'm going to rephrase sort of the way we sort of asked the question um what do you think is so nice about melania yeah oh wow that was a big uh it's a big shift there
um it's just about niceness it's about healing we're at a big shift we were talking about trump
we were talking about women is there anything more trump and women than melania trump who's a woman yes yeah i i just we
really you know uh have been working to kind of like fight this this kind of mainstream feminism
that like supports people like melania and ivanka that are really just you know they say that they're
for women but are they really for women or are they just supporting this
bad guy who's now
our president? Right. Okay.
We just have one note here, which is
that sounds like body shaming, I think.
So we're not going to be doing body
shaming because talking about them, how you
don't like them, I think the worry
is that you're bullying them because they have
such good bodies. No one would argue they
have bodies, right?
I'm sorry, these are your notes?
Are you getting these? These are sort of a
collaborative notes.
And that's the process.
The process behind the show is very collaborative.
There's no better way to speak truth
to power than to be
communicating really directly with the power.
Speaking truth with power. Why. And so, so power is going to talk back sometimes.
Why is it like,
why are we mansplaining to power when we can actually have a real dialogue?
Yeah.
And that's helpful.
And so,
yeah,
when you speak truth to power,
sometimes power is going to speak back to you and go like,
Hey,
let's see if the truth,
maybe there's a different angle at it.
That's not quite so going to get everybody in trouble.
So this is Earwolf.
This is the higher-ups?
Absolutely, absolutely.
Earwolf and Scripps are involved
and have given full
permission to wire
the studio and
all that. But Scott
Anchorman CC'd on all of these
as well as Jeff Ulrich for some
reason. You might want to tell them
as a cost-cutting thing,
they don't need to wire the studio because we're talking right into microphones.
It is a separate microphone.
It's a whole different mic because I think they're worried about us turning the mic off
and then they can't hear what's being said without the mic.
So the big unturn-offable mic is the one that has the direct connection.
Scott and Jeff are definitely involved in this.
They had been saying for many weeks before the election
that they knew what was going to happen,
and they actually predicted the exact electoral vote.
Well, Jeff was telling me that he traded the Cubs win
for the present, for like the Oval Office.
Yeah.
You know, like he was like, if they can get this.
And obviously he went to a bunch of games.
He's like, I really don't want to go to a loss in game seven.
Is there anything I can give you guys?
Yes.
Seems like a fair trade.
Thank you.
So what this is about is being nice and healing.
And also another note is to discuss bikinis a little bit more.
Yeah.
So what's your guys...
It's a two-piece bikini.
You know,
is there anything in your book
about like
two-piece bikinis
or bikini pics?
I mean, the book is really
a lot more about feminism
than it is about bikinis.
That's what we're talking about.
I mean, if you,
if women want to wear a bikini
and celebrate their body,
you know,
women of all sizes
can wear
a two-piece bikini or a one-piece,
whatever makes you feel good as a woman.
Size zero, size two, who cares, right?
Or even like 12 or 14.
Sorry, sorry.
Hang on one second.
I'm getting a lot.
I'm getting a lot.
Okay, hang on.
Just keep going.
Okay, the first one, no one-piece bikini discussion.
Or no one-piece bathing suit.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Those are not today, but that will be retroactively against the law soon, apparently.
We don't really want to be on the wrong side of that. Is this a California proposition about bikinis?
Because we're from out of town.
Yeah.
The new system, apparently what I'm hearing is that we are
going to be having these one-day
propositions very soon where
a law is
mentioned and then passed
on the same morning, essentially.
And coming up, I think, like, next
Tuesday morning. So by the time this podcast
airs, the anti-
one-piece bankruptcy law will be
on the books.
So we don't want to be discussing it.
Even what I'm saying right now about how we can't discuss it,
we are going to have to cut.
Please don't get Hayes in trouble. And I would say,
in terms of going, we're in California,
we're not in California, I don't think a lot of those
words are going to mean what we think they
mean right now pretty soon.
Just going, I'm from New York,
I'm from California. It's like,
no, you're from Trumpistan or you're from Trumpsylvania.
We don't want this podcast to be dated.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? We're going to sound like idiots.
It feels like you guys have a lot more insider info than we do at our office, I guess.
Well, we watch the news.
Because we weren't involved in the Cubs trade or... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you didn't know the Cubs won the World Series? I mean, I guess. Well, we should watch the news. Because we weren't involved in the Cubs trade.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you didn't know the Cubs won the World Series?
I mean, I guess that's insider info.
Yeah.
Look, guys, we're just trying to protect you.
So we'd love to hear more about the book, but the book as it pertains to either bikinis or those tip and strip nudie pens where when you go to sign something, you turn the pen
upside down
and the woman's clothing disappears?
Oh, wow.
I've actually never seen one of those.
That sounds like kind of an inefficient writing tool.
There's lighters like that, too.
Yeah, and those are just pens now.
By the time this podcast comes out,
what you are describing is a specific kind of pen.
The tip-and-strip nudie pen?
That's just a pen.
Do you think those pens are distracting to use?
Like for someone who has a porn addiction and they keep looking at porn online while they're trying to work,
do you think that that pen, if they were to use it, would prevent them from doing their work?
Because they would be too horny to work?
Yeah.
Like they would keep looking back at the pen.
This is an interesting question.
And actually one of the emails came in and did suggest we talk about this.
Is it possible to be too
horny? Yeah, is it okay to be
so horny at work that you can't get
any work done? Yeah. And if
so, what's a good outlet for that?
And is that covered in the book, or are there any
reductress articles about this? We actually
do have a chapter
about
office supplies.
Great, okay, great.
And you definitely want to get a magic wand.
What's it called?
Oh, the vibrator.
Yeah.
It's called a magic wand.
Yeah.
There's a few different types,
but especially whether you're working in an office with other people or working from home,
getting off is pretty important to both men and women.
Okay.
And we're just getting an email now that says that women don't get off, I guess.
Right.
Right.
So if we could just say that for the record.
I mean, in my experience, there's pleasure sometimes through sexual
stimulation. We can agree to disagree
there, I think. If you could just
rephrase that somehow.
Wow. Just to kind of
like just mellow that
sentiment out a little bit.
It's pretty outrageous what you're saying.
I guess I would just say sometimes even as
a woman stimulating my genitals through contact with a man or a device or myself,
sometimes I enjoy it.
Okay.
Can we try that one more time?
Do you want to talk about Barron Trump in your answer?
Yeah.
I guess I think that this conversation might be inappropriate for Barron Trump.
Yeah.
I guess I don't, you know, like the sexualization of children is sort of inappropriate to me.
Of your own children?
I mean, anyone's children, I think.
Yeah, like as a mother with two kids, Beth has a lot to say about that.
As a non-mother, I don't have much to say about that.
Yeah, I mean, like, for instance, my daughter is six months old,
and I would hope that she wasn't sexualized in any way.
Okay.
Sorry, are you getting another email?
Yes, this says you're the one who's bringing her up.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
So I think the thinking is like,
if you don't want to talk about sex about your daughter,
he's saying don't do it so much.
Who is he?
Is this Scott Aukerman?
The emails are not signed.
There's just kind of a GIF signature.
It looks like a frog with a boner.
Is that Pepe the Frog?
No, this is the crazy frog.
I think it might be Senor Frog or some incarnation of him.
So just changing tacks to something I've been thinking about,
maybe get away from all these hot-button issues,
is just isn't it nice to put people on a bus and bring them back to their own country?
I mean, if they want to go back to their own country.
Like, I like to go home sometimes.
I guess for me it would depend on, like, are they getting to say what their country is?
Well, just the way sort of their behavior has been so far, they do seem to enjoy the bus.
Just from my experience,
when I look in from the car,
it's mostly, you know,
there's like a certain type
of like bus guy.
When I'm in my nice big car,
which is up so high
that I can actually see
in the windows of the bus,
some of these guys
are already on one.
Wow.
I mean, and, on one wow it is interesting
I'm just hoping that they
are going where they want to go
without being coerced
or anything like that
but how can you ever know when the stuff they're saying
is so
inscrutable
it's hard to have this discussion
because it's not really specific who they are
I know I know that's a great point It's hard to have this discussion because it's not really specific who they are. Right.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Dude, yes.
That's a great point.
You're bringing it up.
Sometimes you can't even tell which ones.
Again, I'm not really sure.
Yeah, maybe you could clarify.
Well, just like as Beth was saying a minute ago, you might not even know who they are.
It seems like this conversation is taking a turn.
Yeah, I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
Yeah, okay, actually.
Yeah, we should go back to some of the stuff that we were –
Sorry.
Sorry.
That's just something that was rolling around in my brain,
not based on anything that was like a prescribed
talking point, but more so just something I thought of that I thought was good.
And you're listening to Hollywood Handbook on Earwolf, brought to you by Scott Ankerman
and Jeff Allred.
What do you think about some of these new regulations that are coming out to protect
like rights for the horniest among us, basically.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That the hornies have been sort of persecuted for a long time,
and now the right to be horny at work, to be, you know.
Be horny at the grocery store.
Are you talking about, like, sex positivity?
Like, reproductive rights for women?
Yeah.
Or, like, just just like, you know.
No, we're not talking about that.
No.
Okay, yeah.
I could see how that could be confusing.
No, it's more horny.
And this email also says that there she goes again talking about kids and being horny.
I don't think I was talking about kids there.
Okay.
Okay, that says that you were.
Yeah.
Wow.
Unfortunately, the email says you were.
So, no, the horniness we're talking about is more regular horniness.
You know, at the grocery store or some of these guys who maybe have been called dorks or losers
but actually are just cool and horny.
So you mean regular as opposed to like the sexual pleasure I was describing earlier as a woman?
You're just like begging for an email, you know what I mean?
And we are going to give you a chance.
It feels like you know like –
We are going to give you a chance to rephrase that again just to like really, you know, just let's throw a little water on this.
Okay, I'll move away from the pleasure aspect and just say as a woman I have certain female desires, I guess.
Like sexual desires?
Yeah.
Okay.
Any other desires we could focus on instead?
Yeah, I mean, you know, the desire for respect and
agency. Hayes put
a governor on his
inbox so that it does
have a capacity, and so I
just worry, like, maybe in your answers
don't be, like, meaning space.
Yeah, he has to, like, buy a bigger inbox
if he wants, you know, with the number of
emails that are coming in. Does Earwolf make you guys pay for your
own, like, email accounts here?
Yeah.
It's kind of like a company store situation.
Yeah, we got, it's like, we have to pay for our own email, but then also, like, part of
the show, if the show has any profits, that also pays for, like, everyone's emails.
Like, it's a really weird system.
But it's fair, you know, it's like, they're buying fair. It's like We wouldn't be able to get email.
We shouldn't be able to just get this stuff for free.
So it's like toilet paper,
basic, just like
eggs and cheese and things.
The toilet paper is by the square and the squares
are like really small.
Small but they're
thin so you can
sort of fold them up easily
yeah
what's the company's
story situation
at Reductress
yeah
it's like a tampon exchange
sort of
oh wow
oh great
oh great
like give a tampon
leave a tampon
take one
yeah everything's kind of
give and take
and you know
we got some snacks
and people like each other
I just got an email
saying that
it's only maxi pads allowed.
I don't know why that is a thing.
I don't know.
I guess like.
Should I go take mine out?
Yeah.
No, please.
We can do that if that makes you feel uncomfortable.
No, it's not me.
Or it is.
No, I'm getting an email now that it is me.
So it's me.
I'm uncomfortable. I don't like it
I just want to clarify in case it grosses you out
I'm not on my period
the sexual desire thing just like creates a lot of
fluids down there
no it doesn't
I guess
so I guess there's no
fluids and actually
what's down there,
even though this email says, even though I totally know what it is.
This email says, did Kevin just come in?
Oh, no.
So he heard that too.
Oh, no, but no, that's good.
I think he likes Kevin.
Oh.
Hi, Kevin.
Hey, Kevin.
Here we go.
Are we reading emails?
Yeah, we're reading a few emails.
Yeah, we're getting some emails.
So, Kevin, you know what to do.
Sure.
Hello.
First, sorry for entering the room.
Second, it has come off as creepy or abrasive when I take photos without asking.
So Sean and Hayes would prefer that I ask the guest if I can take their photos.
So, drumroll please.
Can I please take your photos?
I promise they'll look great.
Yes, you may.
Oh, nice.
And Kevin, I just got an email.
If you could go make a sort of homemade
label for my hat,
I guess my hat's
not allowed to say
Newport Beach,
the wedge anymore.
It has to say
make America
gravy again.
I guess it's like
Thanksgiving.
And it's like
Stouffer's stuffing. Like it's like a, yeah, it's like, and it's like Stouffer stuffing.
Like it's like a,
yeah,
it's for Thanksgiving and it's like,
um,
it's sponsored.
I guess I don't get the money,
but your wolf gets the money.
If I wear a make America gravy again hat.
And,
uh,
and then that some of that money goes towards our email account.
Okay.
That seems festive.
Can I say,
I'm surprised given the other Earwolf policies
that you have affirmative consent on the photos.
I like that.
Yeah.
I hope you hold on to that one.
What do you mean given our other policies?
It just seems like a lot has changed over the course of just this conversation in here.
Yeah.
Okay.
Actually, we are getting an email about this.
Kevin does have to ask to take photos,
but then once you say yes,
he can take photos of anything forever.
Yeah, in perpetuity.
There is a second entrance to the women's bathroom
that is like the Kevin door.
Sorry. Oh, that's weird because the bathroom that is like the Kevin door. Sorry.
Oh, that's weird because the bathroom door had like a lock on it,
and I thought that was like to protect women from that hallway.
No, that's to keep them inside.
Okay.
Yeah, so anyway, Kevin's going to take a couple picks.
I guess I won't be.
I think I do need that Make America Gravy Again label, though.
Is your hat label machine working?
Yeah, do you have that?
It's working, yep.
Okay.
Do you guys have any
other safe spaces in the office where I
could take out this tampon? Yeah.
Because I've got to go soon.
There's like a
there's like a plank
that goes outside the window. Yeah.
That is probably a good place
to. It's a tough place to have a tampon. Somebody might have
hung a very specific flag from that
plank earlier this morning. It's a tough place to have a tampon. Somebody might have hung a very specific flag from that plank earlier this morning.
It's the new earwolf flag, but it has some symbols that you remember from other flags.
And so, you know, just try not to get tangled up in it when you're shimmying out there.
It sort of feels like being the only woman on a ship in, like, the 1800s.
Yeah.
But, like, a woman who has done something that requires a punishment.
Right.
Yeah.
Well,
it's not that.
It's actually a good thing.
It's only a punishment
if you look at it that way,
right?
Yeah.
And it is like a ship
and the good,
like we sing songs
and stuff,
like old sea shanties
and things like that.
So it's actually
mostly very fun
is anybody else
cold in here?
I mean
yeah
I'm so cold
I wish the
globe would
warm up already
you know what I mean?
oh I was gonna say
can we get that going?
I mean it's really hot
outside today
so I don't
not
no
it's
no
I just got an email
that it's cold
yeah
it should be hotter this time of year.
Yeah, it says it is supposed to be hotter right now.
It's November and it's 95, and I just got a couple emails saying that normally in November it should be at least 110.
I mean, I heard California and L.A. is still under a drought, right?
No.
The drought is out is something we say now.
And what I have are the lyrics to that song, California Dreaming,
about how all the leaves are brown and the skies are gray and it's cold,
and actually we should be in California where it's hot all the time,
and now it's hot everywhere as well.
So you're welcome.
You have the lyrics, but that wasn't exactly what it was.
They seem to be copy and pasted from MetroLyrics.com with some changes because the fa is different
in some parts.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
What's in the book?
Yeah.
How's the book?
So in our book, we talk a lot about like um you know work being a woman in the workplace
and um you know what it's like to to date as a feminist and uh you know in this crazy world
where okay i do have uh that is actually not in the book anymore do you have the book here like
here check the check the book okay Okay. It's weird.
It is gone.
That part's gone, but I have some new pages here for you that I think you're really going to like that are going to add to the book.
And it is just sort of an instruction on how to kiss President-elect Donald Trump.
Oh, I mean, I didn't really okay that.
I mean, I'm confused because our book was published by HarperCollins,
and this says Earwolf Media on it.
Yeah.
I don't.
Sure, yeah.
Well, it's all the same.
One company's as good as another.
The corporate structure is very complicated.
It's true.
It's true.
Is this part of the Cubs trade for the election?
Yeah.
We didn't consent.
Earwolf is expanding.
We're really excited
to be a part of this company,
which is getting very, very big.
Yeah, it's growing.
And when something's on the grow,
there's always speed bumps
along the way
and there's a learning curve.
And what we're learning right now
is how to make books better.
And just,
if you guys want to just look at these pages and go through some of the tips on how to kiss.
Or rules.
President-elect Donald Trump.
Tips.
It says rules.
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
We like to, you know.
It says don't start on the mouth.
Okay.
Well, oh, wow.
Interesting.
So that seems to be a common mistake people make is they start on the mouth.
I mean, I don't, I always thought I knew how to kiss.
I just don't really see why this works.
And this is a great book.
And what a helpful thing for your book, because even the authors thought they knew how to
kiss.
Our book was already great.
I don't really...
Yeah, I mean, that was sort of like an area we didn't even want to go down, is how to
kiss, because it's sort of like what we're fighting against.
Go down is actually rule three, so you're skipping one.
Oh, okay.
So more, yeah.
It just feels like it's not even a discussion of kissing.
Yeah, it just has more kissing rules.
So just read some more of the kissing rules.
He's enjoying hearing the kissing rules.
Some of the most graphic photos of Donald Trump I've ever seen.
Yeah, just kissing.
Wow.
Well, graphic novels are popular now.
There is that preacher show and everything.
Watchman.
Watchman.
I'm not sure who the audience is.
Is this for women?
Is this for young feminists looking to make their place in the world?
Well, everyone does have it now.
So it is all very inclusive in that your book is now in everybody's house.
Yeah.
And isn't that helpful?
Yeah.
Well, that's something.
I mean, I guess if we're going to see a profit of that, that is something.
Yeah.
I mean, we could use the money.
And you guys have a Mouth Time show, correct?
Yeah.
We have a podcast.
Yeah.
The name of that can stay the same.
Oh, that's fine.
Okay.
Good. Yeah. That name is now. That's like one thing off the to-do list. Yeah. A lot of things. Yeah, the name of that can stay the same. Oh, that's fine. Okay, good.
Yeah, that name is now.
That's like one thing off the to-do list.
Yeah, a lot of things are not called that.
Wow, you've redesigned the graphic for that as well.
That's weird.
That's a much more graphic mouth than I'd ever imagined.
Just a better mouth, you know?
Yeah.
Not everybody gets something right the first time.
Melania is so funny.
Yes.
As we're talking about women in comedy, can we talk about how funny Melania is finally?
It's not even her job, but she's almost funnier than a lot of-
Her wit.
Her dry wit.
I'm really not familiar with what you're referring to because I've never really heard her make a joke.
Yeah.
It's almost like she's not making a joke.
That's how dry it is.
She's so deadpan.
Yes.
Well, I guess it's funny in the sense of, like, you know,
she says her husband supports women and loves women,
and, you know, I don't really see him doing that.
Yeah, not really.
I mean, she's very pretty.
That's the one thing I've kind of gotten from.
So we're getting an email.
Yeah, it says good joke, very funny, great joke.
Yeah.
So good that we are being supportive of that was very funny.
I guess, yeah, he's interpreting this as your sort of Melania-style humor
where you in a deadpan way said that he doesn't support women.
Have we clarified who he is?
Yeah.
Again, all I have is the email signature,
which is a GIF of either Senior Frog or the Crazy Frog with what seems to be a boner.
We haven't even quite nailed down what the frog is yet.
Yeah.
But we're getting close.
The Crazy Frog who normally wears a pilot's cap, but he is wearing a sombrero in this
case.
So it's Senior Crazy Frog.
But he is wearing a sombrero in this case.
So it's in your crazy frog.
So it's sort of healing this country a little bit and taking Cedar Frog and the crazy frog and saying, hey, what if these are kind of the same frog?
These two frogs are on opposite sides of a divide, but let's unify them. But what it really looks like is maybe the crazy frog just took Cedar Frog's hat.
I guess it begs the question, is that cultural appropriation to just steal people's frog culture
from them? Right. But
what if those people were not around anymore
to be mad about it? I'm not
sure who those people that you're talking about are.
That's what I wonder.
That's been a big part of the issue.
And that's a question for Beth, who brought it up.
Yeah, who was originally wanting to know,
who are those guys?
I mean, if anything like I'm really glad
like with this discussion
we're having
that you know
we can move forward
and like try to work together
as people
like all different kinds
of people
you know
African American people
and Latin American people
it says do plugs
yeah
it says do plugs
you gotta plug something
yeah
okay
and it says
that we're not gonna
move forward also I mean just that's what it says that we're not going to move forward also.
I mean, just that's what it says.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Well, I don't know what it's going to look like, but we wrote a book called How to Win at Feminism.
Okay.
Available wherever books are sold are apparently in your home now.
Right.
You can just crack it open.
It's in your house.
It's in your house, and they like the winning part.
Yeah, that was kind of like part of the joke.
How to win.
Feminism isn't about competition, so that was kind of like the joke of the title.
Okay.
I guess that part's not a joke anymore.
Is that funny?
that part's not a joke anymore. Is that funny?
The plugs that we want,
like, apparently,
it's like bath plugs.
And it's like when you're going to take a bath.
Okay, so you have to...
Alright, so...
I'm sorry. Is this for Kevin?
In a way.
Kevin doesn't dislike it,
but he doesn't have the power to actually institute this,
but I'm sure he's thrilled at the direction of it.
I'd rather not disclose the location of MinixBath given what they already know.
I believe the location is known.
It's a time thing because they don't want to be just sitting around waiting for this bath.
I guess there's only a certain number of monitors.
It's a waste
to have the monitor just on all day.
If we could just say when we're going to
be taking the bath. That would explain
our Airbnb situation because there was
some really detailed directions about
how to get into the Wi-Fi and we
had to
take our shirt off.
And why the bath is connected to the
Wi-Fi, I'm sure it was very confusing until just now.
Yeah, we had to turn the knob on the bath,
the hot and cold.
Right, to activate the router, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but, you know, that's a nice bed break.
So I'll just start, and I'll just say when my next bath is,
and it's, you know, I'll be comfortable with this.
And this is us speaking the truth. when my next bath is. And it's, you know, well, I'll be comfortable with this.
And this is us speaking the truth.
So many people are like, oh, I refuse to disclose when I take a bath.
Yeah, no, people want to hide it. It's about being honest and about, like,
fighting back against the secret bath people.
Yeah, I'm Julian Assange, basically, just being like,
here's the information.
Like, I'm Snowden, you know?
Like, here's information.
Like, I'm taking a bath.
So it's currently Thursday, November 10th.
So I will be taking a bath on November 9th.
I mean, I really have a lot of reservations about disclosing this,
given the discussion,
but I guess I am feeling really dirty right now,
and I think tonight I'm probably going to have a bath around 9 p.m.
Yeah, I'm probably going to follow soon after since we're staying in the same Airbnb.
Okay, it says that it is going to be at the same time.
And it also says 9 is going to be at the same time. Huh.
And it also says nine's no good for me.
So is there like another time
you could do the math? Just like
Yeah, I mean we can see what we can do.
Does the ninth work
for you, Beth?
Yeah, I think I'm free on the ninth. Great.
After seven. Okay. Okay, cool.
Okay, it says don't say the 9th.
So, all right, I guess because I'm doing the 9th,
people already.
Right.
Oh, too many baths.
Too many baths.
There is a drought.
Do you have an intern who could coordinate this for us?
Yeah, well, Engineer Sam, do you want to take the reins?
Yes.
What am I doing?
You're just scheduling the bath times for everybody here.
The bath time coordinator.
And please have your throat cleared before you get on the microphone.
Do you have a preferred, is Microsoft Excel fine?
Yeah, if you could just get an Excel spreadsheet going.
Okay, because then I think we could just email it in
or have one of our people
contact you with the availability.
Again, I really have a lot of reservations
about this. About scheduling
the bath time? Yeah, I
mean, I do want to promote the book, so
I'd rather just move forward at this point, but
I, you know. Yeah, yeah.
I just want to be vocal.
Yeah, we're just maybe a little
uncomfortable with people knowing when we
bath.
I mean, we bath a lot.
That's dope.
It says
read the bath section of the book.
Okay, so
if you guys just want to open up your book to
chapter bath.
Bath thing.
Okay, it says be ready
and bathed
yeah
so weird
like
how did you guys
get a picture of me
in a tub like that
well again
you know
this wasn't necessarily
we didn't get the picture
but
we're
of course
given these books
which are really good books
the best books and and everyone's going to love this book.
So read the book that you already have and keep listening to our show, which is—
Uncompromised and daring and rebellious.
And we refuse to change.
We'll bend but never, and not even bend,
actually stay straight.
Uh,
bye.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Wolf Cool Productions,
a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes.
Ow,
baby.