Hollywood Handbook - Bobby Moynihan, Our Possible Halftime Show Friend
Episode Date: May 28, 2024The Boys audition BOBBY MOYNIHAN to perform at next year’s Super Bowl Halftime show. Check out Bobby in the new movie Unfrosted. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today�...�s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Discussion (0)
This is a headgum podcast.
I mean, this is kind of your show, Hayes.
Like you kick it off.
I know.
And I, I'm like, I, I apologize for like, this was something
that was supposed to be fun.
And it has been fun.
And it's been a lot of fun.
I don't wanna get to the place where it's not fun.
No, no, no.
And I can just see it just over the other side
of that hill.
Well, it's fun, but it's a job.
And it is when you take something that you enjoy,
something that is a passion for you,
and you turn it into a job,
or in our case at this point, a career.
I mean, how many times have we done this now, Hayes?
Done a podcast?
This is our second podcast.
Yeah.
So, and you look at it that way.
We used to have another one before.
Now we have this one. And it's had a lot of different, like, it's taken different shapes,
but it is the same podcast. Like this one is the same podcast. I believe you. So this is our second one. So podcast number two. Then we did another one. Cool. Yeah, we did one first that was,
Podcast number two. Then we did another one.
Cool.
Yeah, we did one first that was, uh, that was a fucking slog too, man.
Have you, have you, um, been here before you've done shows here?
In this room?
Uh, in this room or in the room next door.
Actually, that's all there is.
There's no more rooms than that.
Not I funny.
I don't think I've done any in that room, but I have done them in this room.
You done this room?
Which one did you do in here?
Which podcast? Big room for Bobby. What else could I be? I'm sorry? I'm just curious what else I could be asking.
It's cool. You could have been asking if I was if anything else happened in this
room I could have done a podcast. I actually am curious about that. Okay that actually is now my question.
Did you do something else in here that wasn't a podcast? Yeah her question. Yeah, I fratner at fraternized
You fraternized in here. Yeah, okay with who people
Do you remember it like no, you don't remember who it was. I don't remember most I think you have done that other room
Sorry, you've been in the other room. I don't think I have. Yeah, you've done a show in that room.
I don't know if you fraternized in there.
I think I did that.
I don't think I've been in that room.
Really?
Do we have a moment?
Can I go look at it?
Yeah, why don't you get in that room?
Is this cool?
Did that hurt you?
Did he hurt you?
Did I hurt you?
No, forget it.
Let's just do the show.
Let's just keep going.
I think someone else would have been really hurt
in that situation.
He's fine.
What happened was, what happened,
so when you like threw the mic at me,
I didn't throw the mic.
It like smashed my jaw.
I did not.
It just that the arms were.
And here's what's so interesting,
and here's why we asked.
You say why do you care
if you've done anything in here before?
One, two, three cameras. For someone that was here the first time?
We might be able to say like oh, he didn't know you know where the mics were he didn't know that they how easy
It is to bump them and how dangerous it is
so that's why I care because we've
Established that you have been in here before and you and you do understand. I'm gonna fight you you already did already well
Yeah, you certainly landed the first sucker punch three cameras
No throw Mike. I did not throw a mic and
Okay, I've swung it a bit and now he's okay other stuff so throw so
He's looking at other stuff to throw. He's counting.
I am not looking for other things if you want me to.
Did you hear him say three cameras?
Those plants are going first.
The stout one.
Don't recreate it.
They're in the cylindrical thing.
Don't recreate it.
When you're saying I may have done it, don't do it again.
You're basically saying, oh.
It's really hurting him.
You swung on me.
So it's like, oh, I didn't throw it.
I swung on your ass.
And it's like, yeah, you did.
It was a sucker punch. I wasn't ready for it. And no one has ever done that the show for it. That one actually basically dodged it. We've had some really really really bad shows.
Terrible shows we have done
Terrible episodes of this show and no one has ever escalated to that level of violence. Well welcome.
Yeah, I guess so you're a unique brand brand. And we were told, you know,
Bobby does things a little different.
And be ready.
The un-rusted PR people were like,
are you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah, impressive.
You brought it, they felt an obligation, I think,
like if we're shopping this guy around town,
like, you know, we gotta, it's a buyer beware type.
Yeah, and then kind of blow back. Yeah, it's so, town, like, you know, it's a buyer beware type. Yeah, and then kind of blow back, yeah.
So, whatever, like,
I just got fucked up, I just got my ass kicked
on my own show, first time that's ever happened,
but I'm being cool, I'm rolling with it.
He is, okay. Talking like this.
He's gonna do it again.
I'm not gonna do it again.
Comedy comes in twos. So you think someone else is. So, well, that actually is a good segue
into what we did wanna talk about.
Oh, which is you're welcome.
Comedy does come in twos, thank you.
Somebody's getting this show back on track.
Jesus Christ.
Last guy I ever thought.
Our Lord and Savior.
But the unfrosted PR people did say,
Bobby Will, he's a little bit of a wild man,
but ultimately he's a pro
and he's gonna get that thing back on the rails.
He's gonna be a pro. He's gonna be a pro. He's gonna be a pro. He's gonna be a pro. He's gonna be a pro. But the unfrosted PR people did say, Bobby Will, he's a little bit of a wild man,
but ultimately he's a pro and he's gonna get
that thing back on the rails.
So comedy is in crisis.
Comedy is.
Always.
No.
No, you disagree?
It actually used to be. You both disagree immediately?
Yeah, no, it's not always in crisis to be doing really is I think it is good
always
Yeah
Listen, so during the comedy boom was the comedy in crisis
Let me say that it was a boom
Yeah, what is oh, yeah, I guess that is it means it's a very good it
Yeah, something it was I guess it was really It means that something exploded. It means that something exploded. Yeah. It means that something.
It was, I guess it was really painful too.
And a lot of people died.
Yeah.
The comedy boom.
Still dying to this day.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I mean.
Not those people.
No, they can't die twice.
You can't.
Imagine for comedy purposes?
You imagine if they could?
Yeah.
Comedy comes in twos, right?
It would be like Roger Rabbit, I feel like they would just.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Crap.
Brrrr.
Hey, so, hey, so, so, so comedy's in crisis.
I mean, you have to recall, obviously,
three, four years ago,
there was some kind of comedy character showcase happening
every two hours.
I mean, it was constant.
There was nothing else to see
other than character showcases.
And so many crazy.
You couldn't walk into a storefront
in East Hollywood without.
So many fully realized, kooky lady
who had too much plastic surgery ordering coffee.
Yes.
That's funny.
Therapist who is trying to also sell
a multi-level marketing kind of product.
I mean like, oh my God, dude,
and this is the tip of the iceberg.
These things were everywhere.
And we just would laugh.
A lot of Australians, you remember when people
kind of discovered being Australian?
Australia just came out.
Oh no, it was.
No, this was.
Paul Hogan.
Yeah, so it did go through.
Paul Hogan, crocodile dunder.
Crocodile dunder.
Crocodile dunder Mifflin.
Hunted crocodile hunters.
He hunted crocodile dundees.
Yes.
Named Michael Scott.
So that, and that was funny.
It comes in waves, the Australian stuff,
which is what Steve Irwin should have been warned about.
Unfortunately found out, yeah.
And that extended the lifespan of the character showcase
for another year and a half. Just people being us.
We got to ride off Australians.
People discovering that accent.
It's a big wave.
Yes.
But now it is in crisis,
and we think about,
what are the products we've been working,
and let's look at the landscape now.
Okay.
Let's look.
It's right here. Look around, it's look at the landscape now. Okay, let's look good. It's right here
Look around right here in this room. This is it. This is the only place that comedy is still thriving in this room
Because the character showcases have that room, but I'm not know you what happened with Gordon
Did you ever make your way over there? No, I forget I was I was trying to tend up you I didn't notice
You ever walked out or a mic at him. I got up like a 47 year old fat man
and he said that I accosted him.
Look at him now.
Go look at the room.
If you wanna look at the room, go look.
Now that he's.
Oh my gosh.
He can cover up, yeah.
And you've made the table so close.
That's him. Why is the table so close When he comes back yeah, yeah, you definitely were
It's just tinier and there's chairs and a different guy
Exactly like this room. It's just tinier and there's chairs and a different guy
You didn't do doughboys in there. No never never I've never done on doughboys and never done that I've never been on doughboys. I like
I'm not Mitch
What's no, I think that's what you're trying to say if you like dog I
Wondering if Shawn maybe if like doughboys always records in there, so I am actually wondering when Sean was like, you have been in there before,
that he thought that you were Mitch.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Your senses were working over time.
You were interviewed in that room.
By who, why are you so adamant about this?
Mr. David Cross.
That was in there?
Oh yeah, no, I was in there like a couple days ago.
Yeah.
God.
Yeah.
It's like.
I got a bunch of stuff wrong on that show too.
What'd you get wrong?
What'd you get wrong?
Facts.
Okay. This can be a make good.
Know your facts before you go in there.
You're supposed to.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, well you were just sorta.
I just wanna say.
What's the best?
Right now.
This is what we're saying.
Yeah.
This is all that's left.
Now that we got that out of the way,
we almost fought and now I'm feeling awful.
The vibe has just taken this sharp turn
and it's almost like we're better friends for it.
Friends fight, you know?
Important question, what did you guys talk about
on Senses Working overtime
before you thought you started recording?
When you entered the room,
what were you and David talking about?
Oh, what chair to sit in?
Okay, that's good. That's in the episode, friend.
Kevin is basically, Kevin's building a case against Sense is Working Overtime. He basically
says that they're illegally doing like some kind of illegal surveillance. They record
the episode before, like as people are sitting down.
It definitely felt like,
I know what you're talking about,
and that moment felt like,
I mentioned it to my wife,
it felt like a haunted house moment.
It was like, step in the room,
and I was like, oh, I get it, it's already on,
but I'm not positive.
Yeah.
Because we're-
Kevin's saying it violates-
That's the crisis, the comedy crisis.
It violates revenge porn laws.
Yes.
They're releasing this footage,
it's like sort of recorded without your knowledge.
He proudly said that.
Yeah.
You said that.
Do you want to put your face in the camera?
That's Kevin.
I got one right here, here's number four.
He basically said,
if what I'm doing is revenge porn, then so is this.
That was what Kevin said.
So like, I don't know, I don't have all the details,
but apparently if he can bust sense is working over time,
it somehow is gonna reduce whatever he's dealing with.
It's a lot of, just any kind of cross promotion is.
Well, oh yeah, and it's gonna be great for the network.
I'll fight you guys, I'll fight him, in this room, and it's gonna be great for the network. I'll find you guys. Yeah fight him So what what this room what they that room so when when head come here's cross promotion
He's still talking about people. I'm still talking about fighting. Okay. I just want to clarify cuz like Hedgum
Here's cross promotion. They mean promoting David cross. They don't mean like
They don't think that means yeah, they're like we've been doing a ton of cross promoting you guys.
We do that constantly.
It's like, oh, okay.
It doesn't involve us.
And they're like, why would it?
So if it doesn't know you.
So like going and like taking a swing
at David Cross is not gonna be the same as like.
No.
Putting this guy on the deck, like they don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
But like, yeah, so it's like, yeah,
this is all that's left.
This is the only safe space for comedy,
basically, that exists.
Okay.
And we've kind of brought you in here
because you're
Safe.
You're one of the people who I think
might have the juice to put this thing back on top.
We're building something.
We're building something in here.
I know. We're building an ark.
You know what?
Now?
He said, I know. What the fuck was that for?
No, you went, I know, and I interrupted you.
So you know what?
What do you know?
Even the apology is aggressive.
I'm really, really fucking sorry.
He has sensitive teeth too, so like you didn't put that too.
Everybody has sensitive teeth.
Not like this.
So yeah, so does he.
Not like this.
Not like you, you got real butter teeth.
They're really special.
That's what they call it, right?
Mm-hmm, yeah, he's a butter teeth.
He's really, everything's tough about this guy.
Everything's tough about his butter teeth.
So, you know, I got a butter teeth.
Summer teeth, butter not.
You say summer teeth?
These are your summer teeth?
Yeah, my summer teeth.
Summer teeth is my new improv team.
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Got to check with Jeff Tweedy first.
Get fucking Tweedy this time.
We are going to do the Super Bowl halftime show.
And...
Love it.
Our friend, and he acts like he's not our friend.
Oh my God.
But he actually is our friend.
I love how he pretends that he's not friends with me.
If he didn't have us, he would have nothing.
Yeah.
Jesse David Fox from Vulture.
JDF, right?
You know him from when he, from the SNL box scores
when he used to, you know, talk about like.
He, to him, he watches SNL like people watch sports.
Yes.
It's like a sport to him, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And so he's actually going,
and he's going through the box score,
he's looking at the stats, he's putting up numbers,
he's having a good season.
I mean, it's basically like sports for this guy.
And he makes you, or...
Breaks you?
No, he...
He can't break anyone.
I'm not familiar. He makes you, or he can't break anyone.
He makes you or he milkshakes you.
That stinks.
That's what he says.
Naked or shaken, yeah.
Yeah.
No one should have that power.
He wrote a newspaper column
that said, next Super Bowl halftime show should be comedy.
Well, and just look at the parallels.
And people laugh, and he said, see?
Yeah. See?
Doesn't that feel good to laugh?
You wanna laugh.
Oh wow. The people wanna laugh.
I wonder when else people might laugh.
Well, at comedy, and wouldn't that be nice?
Obviously, music has been beyond over for a long time.
Is your opinion? Music has been beyond over for a long time.
Is your opinion?
No, go ahead. Yeah, no, let's hear it.
Make the case for music.
Yes.
Make the case for music.
Yeah, I'd like to hear it.
You're coming at him.
How is it relevant at all?
Literally, who is even doing this?
The shit is fully cooked.
It's fucking cashed, brother.
Don't call me brother.
Number one.
Sorry about that, chief. With your soft ass teeth.
Come on, man.
Let me put a mouth guard in.
Do it.
Yeah I will.
You might need to.
I will, I will need it.
This is foam.
Look at how thick this is.
Yeah it's foam covering metal.
The hardest substance known to man.
That's why the foam is there because it's so unsafe.
That's why they have to put something
where they protect it.
Yeah.
So people like you.
Yeah. The foam is there because it's a weapon. What do you have to do something on to protect it. Yeah. So people like you. Yeah.
The foam is there because it's a weapon.
What do you even have to do?
This is a fucking maze.
See, Jesse was right.
People wanna laugh like Kevin.
Look at his happy face.
The original Super Bowl,
do you know why the halftime show exists?
So the players can drink water.
Well, not.
They have to take a rest and have water.
They're so thirsty.
But the halftime.
They get insanely thirsty on the field.
Didn't the halftime show start because of in living color.
Isn't that the Lord?
Now I'm on another head.
OK, here we go.
I'm on here and say a fact that I have this is like no clue if it's true or not.
So many half remembered things.
You're damn right. Why are you so dismissive of my head?
No, I'm not dismissing it. I don't no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Fucking paid leave right? They deserve it. Yeah, well
That's true
Finally we agree on something
My senses should get a big this is actually you bring something up Bobby. I bring up a lot of things
The players have to drink water I didn't bring that up. Yeah, you did mention that he He brought it up. Which, by the way, I agree.
What if they spit the water?
Pfft.
From, like, from funniness.
Do you see what I'm saying?
No, I don't see what you're saying.
Oh, Bobby.
What do you mean by that?
That never happened to you?
Oh.
You never got a plume of...
Blasted with a mist. What are you saying? that never happened to you? Oh. You never got a plume of.
Blasted with a mist.
What are you saying?
You want the players to spit water.
No, I don't want that.
I want them to take a,
be able to have a rest, have some water.
So I'm saying there can't be too much.
You have to put them away.
You have to put them somewhere else.
The player shouldn't be able to watch the halftime show.
We're gonna make it extra funny.
And they're going to need to get the water. And that's where you come in character showcase, right?
And improv.
We have to bring it back.
It there, there hasn't been an improv show in six months.
There hasn't been a character showcase.
There hasn't been an improv show ever in seven.
What are you these facts? I'm telling you, what are you, these facts, okay.
I'm telling you, there used to be one every eight minutes.
Name one, name one.
No.
Yeah.
See?
No, and not that I can't, I said no.
This is the same guy who was so, like,
so offended that music is over.
Made-
Couldn't name one music.
Couldn't name any music.
Now can't name any improv.
The beginning of TV shows, commercials,
and the presence of movies.
Those are not-
That's where music happens.
Those are not improv.
Oh, I thought you were, when you said commercials,
I thought you were talking about comedy.
Some of those are pretty funny. Oh, I thought you were, when you said commercials, I thought you were talking about comedy. Some of those are pretty funny.
All of the comedy, music, it's all love.
Some of the commercials are pretty funny.
And I said it here, and I meant it.
Well, and I wouldn't, I'm not opposed
to bringing Lynn in on this because.
Who is? I wouldn't, I'm not opposed to bringing Lin in on this. Who is?
I don't know. Just like we need like a production,
it is just gonna be you up there,
but it's not just gonna be you up there,
you know what I mean?
I think it should be, there should be more people
than just me. Well, there will be,
you're gonna bring all your funny friends,
but they look a little bit familiar.
They look a little bit like you.
Maybe one has a different wig on.
Maybe one's got a different costume.
You're nervous.
So here's what we need.
So maybe one's got a crazy accent.
We need one character.
Nothing offensive.
Who's kind of the MC, right?
Who's like welcoming everybody.
Maybe he's sweeping up, but it's like, oh, and oh,
you're a little early, okay.
I guess like the real cast isn't here yet.
Oh, maybe I can do the shit.
Do you have a character who would be good for like,
yes.
Oh, this is like my big shot.
Yeah. You know? Oh, I is like my big shot. Yeah.
You know?
Oh, I was just.
I was sweeping the spotlight.
You know, the spotlight's dirty.
Yeah, one leg Willie.
One leg Willie is that character?
Okay, we said not offensive.
He's got two legs.
Okay, okay.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
He just hates one of them.
Okay.
So how does that manifest?
He's talking about it.
He's trying to take it off.
He works, he's the night clean up guy
at the Super Bowl stadium.
At the Super Bowl stadium.
Okay, all right.
So I'm actually, and I hate to push back on you,
why is he cleaning up if everyone's here early?
Cause it can never be too clean.
Well you have to sweep up, like the time to sweep the spotlight Is he cleaning up if everyone's here early? Because it can never be too clean.
Well, you have to sweep up.
You can never be too clean as a scatterer.
The time to sweep the spotlight
is just before everyone gets there,
not the night before,
and then it gets kind of all dusty again.
Okay, yeah, okay.
He also collects hot dog bits.
It's nighttime.
It's Super Bowl of the Night.
He collects hot dog bits?
Yeah, just leftover hot dog bits
from the stadium to feed animals near his home.
So they're not for him?
No, they're hot dog bits.
So we're learning to love this character a little bit,
aren't we?
This character is someone who,
I'd save the cat, you know what I mean?
It's like the first thing we know is like,
oh, he's feeding animals.
A whole hot dog. Near his home?
I guess a little bit of a hot dog.
Near his home.
Yeah, not at his home, just around it, near it.
Because he doesn't want to bring animals to his home
because they're annoying in reality.
You give them food in other places,
they stay over there.
Yeah, it's like a Disney movie over at a paper house.
So you know, this is a place where food shows up.
Hot dog bits arrive here,
so this may be a good place to remain.
All I know is, all the animals know
is that when they show up there, bits are plenty.
And that's what the Super Bowl fans
are gonna be learning as well.
I see, you did that.
He enjoyed that.
Why?
Don't expose your teeth that much, I'm afraid for you.
Okay, thank you. Okay, thanks.
Okay, so this character.
One Leg Willie?
Yes, One Leg Willie.
Is he, or could he be like.
It's also pronounced, spelled W-O-N-L-E-G.
One Leg Willie. So pronounced, spelled W-O-N-L-E-G. Okay.
One leg Willy.
W-I-L-L-Y.
One leg Willy. Okay.
That's just how it's spelled.
It's not, it doesn't change anything
about him or his behavior.
That's just how it's spelled.
Nope, he's got two legs, he just hates one of them.
Hates one of them.
And is he, or could he be like,
so Italian?
Yes.
Like really Italian.
99% of the things I do are that Italian.
Okay.
Yes.
So I say yeah.
Crazy, crazy Italian.
I can tell when you like stuff
because you enunciate and slow down your words a lot more.
Mm-hmm.
Which again, it hurts him to do it like so.
Physically.
Very uncomfortable, yeah.
You have a lot of mouth pain.
But worth it.
If you like. Yeah.
Oh, God. Gorgeous teeth though.
Beautiful teeth. It starts there.
Get, I can't even. Just soft.
Like a baby's arm. Yeah.
Yeah, it's an optical illusion, like a baby's arm. Yeah, it's an optical illusion.
Like a baby's arm.
Yep.
One leg with.
It's the softest thing you can think of.
Name something softer than a baby's arm.
My teeth.
A fat baby's arm, that's the only thing I can think of.
The improv landscape.
Whoa.
Wow, way to bring it home.
It's pretty soft right now.
That physically hurt.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
You know, everybody wants to have things both ways.
It's not always possible.
Of course, people are aware our producer,
who we love, Chef Kevin,
has just recently gotten married.
He loves being married.
He loves having a wife,
but he wishes he was still on the apps.
He met so many things people.
And it's not about sex.
It's not what you think.
It's not about, that would be part of it, of course,
but it's more, why can't he just have the app open,
just so he can see who's around and you know.
And seeing what he could, you know, like,
is it cheating to find out what you actually could?
These are the questions Kevin's been asking us, you know,
and I don't have a great answer,
but guys just tend to think about, you know,
looking sharp as starchy Oxfords or stiff chinos rather than effortless comfort.
It's like saying- But we can have it both ways.
It's like saying, so get this.
Go ahead, go ahead.
You buy a bunch of,
I just got a lot of Mack Weldon stuff.
Okay.
I love it all.
It's great.
It's comfortable.
It looks good.
I'm happy in it.
I got the Ace shirt, or no, the silver crew neck t-shirt.
That's the one I got.
Fits great.
I got the silver, I got some of the polo shirts.
Shows off some of my curves.
Yeah, my body, you can see every nook and cranny of my body
when I put on these polo shirts.
I got them really tight.
And then someone says like, oh, but now you can't,
now that you've bought the clothes,
you can't go back on the website.
Oh, you're not allowed to look at the website at all
to see what else you could buy.
And see what just fits in your cart.
That's betraying the clothes that you're wearing right now.
It doesn't really make sense.
So you should be able to have it both ways.
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And if you match and they try to talk to you,
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I'm sitting here with my wife right now.
No, somebody tries to, yeah.
I'm telling her what's happening.
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Life can be ridiculous, but you know what's not funny?
Getting ripped off, and Harry's agrees.
We do have clean Harry with us today.
I wanna just sort of cop to my role in this.
Like I feel like I have not been bringing out
Clean Harry as an interviewer.
I feel like I've just sort of been failing
in my responsibility to like fully
show the world what Clean Harry is about.
Some of it's on me too, punk.
I've forgotten most of just kind of the-
Hey, hey, hey.
Yeah.
I could, but I could be bringing more to the table too, punk.
Whether that's true or not, I don't know.
I've forgotten so much of it.
I remember you were a museum guard, you got fired.
You weren't protecting the paintings very well
for whatever reason.
You hate beards.
You want to take people's beards and you are,
you either like play Yu-Gi-Oh!
the card game or you like collect cards or sell them
or like something like that.
Used to, yeah.
I've been kind of stuck on the Yu-Gi-Oh! card thing.
I just like that for some reason
that that has really stuck with me.
I want to paint your, it really seems like this is, we're going to be working together for a long time.
So I want to like tell your story better.
And I, and I commit to that.
Okay.
So where, just like starting from the beginning, like where are you from?
Like what's kind of the story of your?
The museum.
Okay.
Are you asking where I used to work?
No, I'm not, no.
I'm asking where you grew as a kid.
As a kid, I would go to the Yu-Gi-Oh! cart store a lot.
That I don't even think is true.
So not only is that not helpful, and also not what I'm asking, I don't even think is true. So not only is that not helpful for,
and also not what I'm asking,
I don't think that is correct based on just like your age.
I mean, and also calling it the Yu-Gi-Oh,
maybe there's a Yu-Gi-Oh card store.
I think a lot.
There was when I was a kid.
I think it's closed.
I don't think that's correct.
I don't think that's correct.
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Check out Clean Harry's new podcast, okay?
You have a podcast?
Mm-hmm.
That I didn't remember.
I didn't remember talking about that.
What is it about?
It's just me and my funny friends.
We all hang out and play all kinds of games.
Sometimes people stop by their characters,
and I host it.
We just have a lot of laughs.
Getting ripped off isn't funny.
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Whoa.
Hollywood ham.
So I guess like what I would love is,
that didn't really work, yeah.
Oh no, it is.
Or it might be Micah.
No, but,
Willie's, you know, Willie's getting us comfortable.
Willie's talking about hot dog bits.
Willie's, you know,'s kinda like talking about maybe-
One leg Willy.
One leg Willy's talking about hot dog bits.
Talking about like maybe Italian food.
He might be trying, I mean like,
he's seeing a spotlight before he sweeps it,
but he might get distracted and think that it's like a big,
like, pizza dough, like, you know, like,
it's a big pizza dough that someone left and is like.
Where's the pepperoni?
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
So, yeah, so, but then, you know, knock, knock.
Oh, who's at the door?
You know, let me go, let me go let him in.
And then Willie.
That's the booth, the booth.
Unless you, you could pull off like a,
like throw a knock knock over there,
like we can get the booth, like I'm saying,
it's not just you up there, you know what I mean?
You got a whole crew.
It's not just you.
Behind the scenes.
Yes.
There's so much support for you.
Thanks.
I mean, we want you to really feel safe.
That's why we're going over it now.
And they have to take a rest too, obviously,
and they have to have some water.
They need water.
It's time for a break.
They're not gonna be paying attention.
They're taking showers and stuff.
They're gonna be on call the entire time, obviously.
They get so sweaty in the booth,
they're taking multiple showers during the halftime show,
yeah.
And so if they're tired or something
or they're having some water during,
when it's time to have the knock knock,
you're gonna have to.
Or if they're washing up in the shower.
You're gonna have to step up, you know.
Yeah.
Got it.
I'm prepared.
So you're gonna have to be able to deliver.
So who might be at the door?
And it could be anyone
and it could be someone really funny.
And just for your own knowledge
of what people are gonna be expecting here, right?
This is in New Orleans.
Okay.
The Super Bowl is in New Orleans this year.
Great.
They are gonna be expecting Billy Crystal
as the Jazz Man to be,
and we are gonna be promoting that as well.
So I don't know if you should. Why?
Because it sells itself?
People will want to see it, they'll go to the show,
they'll be excited, why would we, you don't.
You might think it doesn't need that much promotion,
so it's like, oh, I don't think you should.
The Super Bowl?
I think that's a waste of money,
because everyone's gonna already know
that the Jazz Man's coming, oh, I don't think you should. I think it's a waste of money because everyone's gonna already know that the Jazz Man's coming and like,
but I actually do think it's money well spent
because it's just like delivering on a promise.
It gets them in the door and then if there's,
you know, other characters there,
maybe someone who's super funny, you know.
But when the door opens,
their immediate reaction is gonna be like,
they're gonna be like mad.
Mm-hmm.
Because they thought it would be Billy Crystal's
Jasmine character, and it's just gonna be you
jumping to the other side of the fake door.
And being a character.
Yeah.
Who's maybe like a guy, like a funny guy type.
Yeah. Like a. Cutting up, getting big laughs. Maybe like a guy like a funny guy type. Yeah
Like cutting up me getting big laughs
Like a comedy character
Could be the shit. I love where your heads at that is so I could tell fuck you don't do yeah
Maybe like fuck with that I
Can fuck with that comedy character, okay
Let's meet him. So cool. Yeah, let's oh, so send them time with the big comedy So we are saying that again, it's Super Bowl. Uh-huh. Yeah balls and like it's not one's tired from the first half of the game
Yeah, mm-hmm. We're in New Orleans
We're in New Orleans, you know, yeah
Nice thank you for stepping up
Mmm
Whole booths in the shower. So hey said this is for Micah and maybe it's Micah Parsons is there
Hopefully they he makes a super. Yeah, he would be playing. Yeah, thanks
He goes takes the table, yep
Fuck yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it. My mic was I need one of these I have no furniture in my house, you know
Go so we'll figure out again. It's not just you, we will figure out a way for Michael Parsons
to like make the Super Bowl.
Thank you.
I appreciate that,
because that'll be a good bit for it.
Oh, that is getting the audience so on your side.
Like, it's just like nice warm room
after Michael Parsons comes in.
Maybe I could immediately throw out
some kind of prize or a treat of some kind.
That could really help.
The audience, we are gonna be promoting
that the audience gets a treat.
And so, like, that's gonna be.
If you're promoting it, then we should do it.
I don't wanna be involved with promoting something
that doesn't happen.
While I understand the Billy Crystal draw.
Thank you.
I was gonna say.
I don't have a problem with that.
Yeah.
Thank you.
We'll get butts packed in the seats.
You know what I mean?
Cause it's like what people don't really get
that fortunately Jesse David Fox does is
they're not coming for the football.
I'm sorry.
They're not there for the football. The'm sorry. They're not there for the football
The people watching yeah, the Super Bowl come on all you don't think any of them are there for the football I guess the guys are like the like
football guys like the
Like Mike and I are so there anyone can be a football fan really no, I mean the guys playing though
Anyone can be a football fan, really. No, I mean the guys playing, though.
Oh, I guess they can't be.
They're there for the football.
Yeah.
Oh, correct.
Their coach is there.
And they're not even allowed to see the halftime show
because they have to have water, so.
Totally, right?
Now, oh.
So far?
Wait, wait.
Yes.
This is actually getting me fucking amped.
We're talking about all these guys that were, ha ha.
Oh no.
Don't get too amped, danger is always but a moment away.
So we're talking about all these fuckers
who are at the game and they're not allowed
to watch the players, they gotta drink their water,
the coaches, and it gets me thinking, are the referees allowed to watch the players. They got to drink their water the coaches and it gets me thinking
Are the referees allowed to watch the halftime show and that and like a bolt of lightning the character hits me
You gotta be one of the referee
Game I'm talking about the game. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine
Dude I'm talking about the game. That's fine. That's fine. I'll do that. Dude, that is.
That's what you tell by how slap in
modulated his pace gets that.
That's a great idea.
Yeah, it's also because people see it coming.
You could picture it in the referee.
I picture it.
He's the see the back of the referee, maybe.
He's maybe patting down.
Yes.
It's been a rough first half turn to reveal.
The referee.
I was going to say Alec Baldwin.
Baldwin.
I was going to say turn to reveal Alec Baldwin.
He goes, for some reason, like, he goes, well, what a game. because he's trying to score like if you're playing
And then he takes out a big picture like a huge comical picture who is he saying
But I'm trying to understand who's having lemonade
because it is just you up there.
Let it unfold.
Okay, I am trying, I am really trying.
We didn't get Alec Baldwin.
I actually gave that as long as I could.
It's creating a lot of tension which is good, yeah,
but I am also scared that we're not gonna land the plane
on this one.
So who?
Bless you so yes, so we all do
Okay, everybody's got soft. Yeah, everybody's got as well. All my identifying
Being taken probably well blue life goes on so he does you agree?
He does have it then?
Asthma or soft teeth?
Both, I can't be sure.
Both of them you said everyone has them.
Will you let me touch your teeth?
Can I touch your fat baby arm teeth?
You actually won't even, that's how soft it is.
It has so much give.
I'm afraid I'll push right through the back of his head.
It'll feel like you're going, am I touching it yet?
And the fact is, you will be.
Kind of like touching a dolphin.
Well actually that's completely wrong. They're very thick and rough and sand you will be. Kind of like touching a dolphin. Well actually that's completely wrong.
They're very thick and rough and sandpapery.
But it doesn't feel like you'd expect.
Correct, it's a confusing experience.
Yeah, it'll be confusing for sure.
And someone will be there to take a picture.
So in that sense it is like touching a dolphin.
90% chance.
And it'll be inhumane.
And you have to wear a life jacket.
Yeah, as an adult.
Yes.
Yeah.
Nothing under, and no T-shirt.
Not anymore.
Yep.
And it's dangerous.
Yes.
To each his own, I guess.
I feel like I could take a dolphin.
I feel like if I had to choose, that's my answer,
if I had to choose a fish to fight, it would be a dolphin.
Because it's smart, but it's also pretty.
Okay, oh wait, you wanna fight it
because it's smart and pretty?
Yep, it's more and pretty? Yep.
It's more about respect for me than anything else. For yourself?
And the animal.
And the animal as well.
Well, again, steps a little bit on fish fights,
but we are gonna all choose which fish we wanna fight.
I didn't mean to step on fish fights.
That's like, yeah.
Well, let's do it now and we'll get back to the show
because we only have a couple characters.
Kevin, play the fish bite song and then Hayes,
as he sort of alluded to already,
every week does choose to fight the stingray
that killed Steve Irwin.
It's, you're doing God's work.
The stingray hunter.
It's not, it's not, I mean, like,
Kevin calls this revenge porn as well,
like I don't, but he needs it in a nice way.
Yeah.
There's a lot of talking.
You can tell I'm serious because of the way I'm manging.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's, that's doing stuff for me.
Oh yeah.
I'm gonna fight Trey Anastasio,
and then you've chosen a dolphin.
And just like, he thinks that his character name is,
that he's like a one man band that performs
under the name Fish.
He's just a member of a band called Fish,
like he's not Fish.
He's in the band Fish.
This is what, but I
Cannot confirm nor deny that he is not a fishy man
Right. I've never met him the evidence. I mean is pretty
All we have to go on is like he did name his band fish, but it's pH
So there you go. Yeah, So it's sort of a mixed.
Well, but if you've ever taken care of a fish tank,
you know that a pH level is crucial.
So true words have never been spoken.
Maybe you have.
Or even, honestly, even if you haven't
taken good care of a fish tank, you could find that out.
Yeah, you could know it.
You could know it just from.
Okay, wait. You have to.
Of, wait.
Okay.
A fish, okay.
Am I right?
A fish character.
I, I.
You don't like it.
I do like it.
You don't like it.
I'm trying to get.
He just doesn't like it.
It's a group thing.
I do like it.
You know? As thing, you know?
As like, you know, I sort of function as both the host
and the audience proxy.
I'm the way in for folks, you know what I mean?
And so I gotta know, I gotta be brought along a little bit.
The Alec Baldwin of it all is still,
he's offering someone lemonade, he's hot.
He's saying, it looks like someone could use some lemonade.
Or is he saying he wants lemonade? Once again, I just wanna point out, Offering someone lemonade, he's hot. He's saying it looks like someone could use some lemonade.
Or is he saying he wants lemonade?
Once again, I just want to point out,
you never let me finish.
Would you want to do the rest of it?
I'm still, even this I'm trying to,
even the explanation of why Alec was there
serving lemonade, it's-
Well, I, well now, you know, you got my curiosity.
There's all sorts of- I got your curiosity? know, you got my curiosity. There's all sorts of, I got your curiosity?
Yeah, you got my curiosity.
Cool.
Yeah.
It is pretty cool.
Lights dim.
Who's that ref?
Oh, it looks like he had a rough half.
The lights dim and then you see.
You can see him. And then you sss. The light is dim.
And then you can't see very well.
From behind.
You're well around, hey.
Lemonade being poured out of a giant pitcher.
Don't have that.
Me, the character, comes in.
As a different referee.
You're the only person.
Why are you flagged on the play?
Why are you so confused?
Flag on the play.
Don't ruin it.
You don't let me finish and then this happens.
I come out, I come out, I'm a tiny referee I'm on
Alec Baldwin's shoulder I throw the tiny flag in his tiny lemonade he drinks it
chokes to death flag yellow television and then I say Yes, hello, Emily. Should we try it like that?
This is all you, you can do this?
You can do this all by yourself?
Do you see what I mean?
I don't want to interrupt.
I was really surprised at't want to interrupt.
I was really surprised at what you said afterward.
What?
Me too.
It got me.
But comedy is only surprise, you know?
And I don't think-
Comedy is only surprise?
A lot of stuff I've-
That's a phrase.
A lot of stuff I've been ahead of, but that really caught me.
I thought- I was sure you would say something intelligible.
I thought it would be.
No, it's a Super Bowl.
That would be connected to what we were speaking.
It's a Super Bowl, yeah.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
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These subscriptions, man.
Like, I had tried to sign up for like a music service,
like that you can listen to all the music you want
for like a certain number of dollars a month.
I had subscribed to like, I get a card
I had subscribed to like, I get a card
that is my certification for liking music.
So frustrating, and they're sending you a new card every two weeks or something, right?
A new card every two weeks, yes.
You still likes music.
The old card is no longer valid.
It's like expired, that I like music.
And so I get Rocket Money to cancel it,
and now I am noticing a difference
when I go around talking about,
I love talking about music,
and I think of myself as being a music,
a part of this stuff.
That's the first thing, when people ask,
what's Hayes really like in person,
I go, man, he is so into music lately.
Yes, but now I find that it is not working the same way.
That it has gotten out that my card is no longer.
That your card expired.
And I show them my old cards and they're like,
well, the date on this is old.
And it has affected my ability to talk about it
and I don't like music anymore.
I signed up for karate thinking like,
oh, this will be nice, I'll go in,
it'll be good exercise,
maybe I'll feel a little more confident.
And subscription style karate
where you can go in whenever you want.
Yeah, it was just a subscription to a particular dojo,
and I didn't look at where the address was,
and then I realized that when I looked at it
that there was no address listed
and that it just had my house,
and somebody has been coming into my house
and beating my ass lately.
They send karate to your house.
Yes, they are, it is direct to consumer karate,
and they are chopping me up
with some big chops.
And it says, like, yeah, I looked at this
and I actually read the fine print on this
and it says it's like in a box, like they send it,
but it's actually you that is gonna be in the box.
Yeah, no, they put me in a damn box.
Yeah, so Rocket Money canceled it for me.
Yeah, so Rocket Money canceled it for me.
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Hollywood hamper.
I have just the blocking I'm trying to figure out.
I think we have established that it's just you.
We only have you up there.
So you're up, Baldwin, you're also a tiny referee.
I'm playing Alec Baldwin also now?
We're gonna need that.
The entire time you have, so so like this oh I okay you thought
why are you so adamant that I have to be alone on stage why can't I have Baldwin
backup why can't I have props why can't I have why are you so afraid we have the
table that Micah Parsons took if you you need props, like you can have like,
it's a Super Bowl, like we can get you props.
I guess what I'd love is for the,
when something feels challenging
or when we're encountering something
that maybe isn't exactly what you pictured,
that we kind of embrace it with this attitude of like,
oh good, a challenge,
a chance to sort of prove to myself, right?
That I'm enough up there and not be like,
I need a giant wheel of cheese, you know what I mean?
I need all the like corny shit you're talking about.
And all the other halftime shows. the other half time shows like there is nothing
Corny about a giant wheel of cheese, and I will go to bat to that till the day I fucking die
It is a bad example. No like funny
It's a bad look
It's a corny look to like when the in the past
When they have the the musical act and then like a surprise,
like when The Weeknd was performing
and then like Uncle Fester came out.
I don't remember that one.
That to me was such a crutch.
And it was like, Weeknd, we already like you.
It's like so obvious that you got scared
and you like, you had to call for help basically.
And then you scared me because then Uncle Fester is here.
So if I, even if I, so if I wanted to have MC Hammer
come to Adam's groove, recreate the song,
Adam's groove on stage with me.
I'm totally okay with that as long as you're MC Hammer.
You see what I mean?
Like everything's an opportunity.
That almost made me get it. You know what I mean?
You could feel yourself almost getting it.
That.
How did it feel?
Almost made me get it.
And did you, and were you liking it when you were close to getting it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I love the idea of being MC Hammer.
I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I love the idea of being MC Hammer. Mm-hmm. I love it.
Okay.
Yeah, there's like rights issues and stuff.
Rights, civil rights?
I mean, I suppose that too.
I was thinking just like,
it's just we're gonna pay through the nose
for the Damn Adam's Family song.
80 bucks.
Yeah, on top of the lights that we're doing.
On top of all the people in the booth.
You guys decided to do lights this year?
On top of multiple showers in the booth.
Well, we have the spotlight that, yeah.
Spotlights?
Yeah, that's gonna be.
For the football players?
The football players are gonna be under spotlight this year.
Yeah. Yeah.
That seems theatrical, I like it.
I like that addition.
We've got some lives here.
I can't tell what's going on most of the time.
I don't know where I'm supposed to be looking
when I'm looking at this thing.
It's hard, they have a lot of computer graphics now,
almost hologram things, kind of like robot CGI
that tells you how to enjoy football now.
Well, it's not working for me.
Stuff that isn't even there, it's crazy.
Let's just back up and go, we're putting on a show.
It's kind of spotlight on here.
Let's get some theater tech kids in here.
Yes.
Show me the-
It would be great if every football game
just had Nathan Lane in the center of it singing.
Or like, just-
He'd get hurt.
But I guess you'd think that'd be great.
Did you say make it hurt? I said he would get hurt.
Oh, oh, yes.
You're the one who said make it hurt.
I am the one that said make it hurt.
I thought you said it, that's why I said it.
But you are correct, I am the one that said it.
I actually don't think that.
I thought you got sexually aroused
by the idea of Nathan Lane in the center
of a football field and you were like,
oh, make it hurt.
That's what I actually thought happened. That's a football field, and you were like, oh, make it hurt.
That's what I actually thought happened,
that's why I asked.
And you were excited about that.
Nope, no, I just explained.
Kindred spirit.
I just explained.
Seemed like you were.
Yeah, I just explained.
No one listens in this room, or that room.
That room, yeah, that was tough, huh?
It was fine, I thought.
Well, I don't know, now that I remember.
You don't seem to have a negative opinion
of what's happening in this room.
I'm having a great day, and you aren't,
and you're making me not.
Those words make sense.
I'm saving like improv,, comedy and character showcases.
I'm not supposed to be like having a great day.
I work so everyone else can have a great day.
You know what I mean?
Like a fire.
Roll in my sleeves.
You're like, yeah, thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
We're not the firefighters are not there like we drive around
like the fire truck going like we that's a siren
That's not them saying yeah siren saying it wasn't though. Imagine if you found out it was
There was never sirens. I'm just saying on a mic going
Just like that sound like a fucking big nothing. They said it's not them. It's probably believe firefighters
You got to believe them. They said it's not them. It's pro- they- well I believe firefighters. You gotta believe them.
Mmm. You have to.
Hashtag believe firefighters.
Wait, is that why they call them pigs?
Yep.
Cause of the wee sound?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I can't- I- now I- now I like that.
Wee-oo! Wee-oo!
But-
Hammer? I think we can do a hammer thing
if you are obviously not dressed up like him at all
and not singing or dancing.
No.
So you can do, you can do.
It's the essence, it's stop.
Yes, it's saying stop.
Saying stop.
Yes.
Yeah, maybe, is there a way it's MC Hammer doing
Maxwell's silver hammer.
Like, is that something that you can go ahead?
Or Stevie Vansana Paul.
I was going to say.
Oh.
Do you have Stevie?
Is Stevie in your bag?
I hear him rattling around in there is a lot in there
That kangaroo pocket got plenty a little Stevie
No, no, he wasn't okay. Okay
I sir. Do you have sir Paul?
with me or Okay. Do you have Sir Paul? With me?
Or in my pocket?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Can we?
You want me to talk to?
Okay, you just did a big inhale.
I thought we were gonna maybe talk to Sir Paul.
I thought Sir Paul might be.
You just exhaled.
You're calling.
Paul McCartney?
Yes.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Why are you saying it like that?
I'm not gonna call him now.
Because of how he said it?
Because of how he said it?
Said it like a creep.
Oh man.
Buddy.
Not your buddy.
I am your guest and I will be treated as such.
We have to close it out, we have to.
You don't have to close it out.
We gotta find actually like what,
because I would have been great if we had Stephen.
So you're not happy with how this went.
Or if we had Paul.
Well, I'm just saying we need a big finish for the show.
So Alec Baldwin has choked his ass out of it.
The fact that it has to end
doesn't mean that people are like unhappy with it.
It just, it just does have to be over.
So like when you're up there.
All good things come to an end and this is coming to an end as well.
So it's just, that's the way that it goes.
And I just think that for the Superbowl halftime show, it would be nice, would be
nice, not required if the last thing we do in the half time
show could kind of get people feeling a little good,
a little amped up.
And I wouldn't mind if they laughed.
So maybe something really funny.
And I'm just like trying to think the character
could be like super Italian like really really Italian
That seems
It's because you
It's like like something like you know, it's it's it's yeah, right. Yeah
So what so I got him. Hey,
I need to play. Give them a lemonade.
There's another. So, okay. There's another flag.
This is the same lemonade. He comes, sees the lemonade. He comes up,
he wants to drink.
Tiny referee has one. You think he comes up, he wants to drink the lemonade. Do you think the tiny referee has one flag?
You think he's only got one flag to throw
and then he's like, all right guys, take care, I'm done.
Multiple flags.
Or do you think?
Yeah, no, that's right, and it's two,
so it's comedy, comedy and two,
so he will have to kill someone else with a flag.
Two flags, there's always a second flag.
Master and the apprentice.
Yes, right, okay.
Rules of comedy.
Yeah, yeah. The rules of comedy. Yeah, yeah.
The referee I like.
Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Sorry.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Hollywood handbook.
That was a Head Gum Podcast.
This is Jeopardy!
Hosted by Head Gum's Jeffrey James.
This beloved Jeopardy! inspired segment
from the Head Gum Podcast is coming to you live
for a one-night-only game show on Thursday, June 6th
at 5 p.m. Pacific time.
And we're on it and we're playing against Mitch
and Weiger and Carl and Lamar.
Wait, back up, Hayes.
We're on it?
Oh, but I thought everyone last time thought
that we didn't like it and have a good time
and they didn't like us on it.
The show seems to be very confusing to people
where they think that they don't like us being on it
and that we don't either.
That it was bad to them or to me.
That it was bad to them or to me
and that I was, okay, mad, but now I'm on it.
So I guess what you're saying is I'm a good actor.
Jeffery is good and you liked me on it.
And let me just let everyone know right up top.
When Sean is mad, you'll know.
right up top. When Sean is mad, you'll know. When he's mad, you will be 100% sure that he's mad. There will not be any sort of light speculation. Yes.
Join for the chaos and stay for the gameplay. It's one you won't want to miss. get your tickets today at moment.co.gefferty and that's only $10 and
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