Hollywood Handbook - Cedric Yarbrough, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: October 8, 2018The Boys talk to CEDRIC YARBROUGH about his career and try to do a show with him.This episode is sponsored by Casper Mattresses ( www.casper.com/theboys  code: THEBOYS), Simple Contacts ( ww...w.simplecontacts.com/THEBOYS20  code: THEBOYS20), and Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So, yeah, it was just me and Tina, Napoleon Dynamite's Llama, and Cedric Yarborough.
Yo, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
And we are playing McDonald's Monopoly.
Cedric had shown up with two sleeves of cups.
Right, okay.
He was walking on, like, he kind of, like, awkwardly walks up, like, in a weird way.
And then he lifts his pant legs and the his legs are
sleeves of cups are they stilts is it he has made them no he has bent his lower legs back so his
knees are in the top of the cup he's using those to walk around do you remember this this that was
amazing yeah that was that was pretty damn cool of me.
Can you still do that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That was something I learned in the third grade.
I don't know about you guys.
Did you guys do any drinking games back then?
When I was in third grade, yeah, I did a lot of drinking games.
Yeah, with McDonald's Cubs.
So you needed a lot of cups around for all the drinking games you were going to be playing.
Naturally.
I played all the games back then.
Did you?
Oh, yeah.
The knee game, the elbow game.
Put your knees in the drink.
Yep, yep, yep.
Did you go to school for that?
That was a thing.
I did go to school.
school uh it was a third grade prep uh yes that had uh specifically i majored in game gaming uh with cups and once i got to the fourth grade i was i was done i was uh you graduated you switched
it i was on the darts okay wow yeah uh so we of course we're playing McDonald's Monopoly with all these cups.
Right, yeah.
And we're revealing the different places on the board,
and we're matching them up.
Sure, the names of the streets, everything, yeah.
And Tina is eating the cups.
Right.
And I see, as she's chowing down on one of these cups,
just a little glimmer of a blue for freaking boardwalk.
The dark blue.
Yes.
Because blue also is Connecticut Avenue, Oriental Avenue, which I don't know if they could even do now.
Yeah, I don't think I was offended myself.
You can't have that one anymore.
Yeah, you complained first that you got to change.
I really was like, yo, that's not cool.
Yeah, it didn't feel right. So now it's Cedric Avenue. Yeah. You got to change. That's not cool.
It didn't feel right. Cedric Avenue.
Yeah.
So now we've changed it to, I wanted to go with Cedric Avenue, but people have their snobs.
And so we're going to go with Cedric Avenue.
Okay.
The spelling is the same.
It's the same.
Okay.
But even so.
No, I totally understand. Yeah. The pronunciation is the same. It's the same, yeah. Okay. But even so. No, I totally understand.
Yeah, the pronunciation is different.
And so she's licking the little sticker off with her coarse tongue.
A boardwalk.
Which at the time I was very, if you remember, that was when she and I,
I was very familiar with that, what that tongue could do.
Sure. And its do. Sure.
And its power.
Right.
And so I know very quickly that that sticker is going to be toast.
Evaporated, yeah.
Yes, by the coarse tongue.
Licked to the bone.
Yes.
I didn't know that, though.
I had no idea.
Yeah, you had no urgency at all from what I've heard.
No.
And no real need to leave, either.
You were sort of visibly kicking back.
Yeah.
As the course tug was springing into action.
Yes. Sort of
satisfied with yourself having done
the cool cup game.
Cup game. I had changed,
you know, I'd
solved racism. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then, you know, I solved racism.
Mm-hmm.
And then, you know, this tongue.
Which is a lot for a day.
Yeah.
But the tongue thing also was important.
It's going to eat boardwalk.
Going to destroy it.
And so I have to slap it away.
Slap the sticker away.
And I do a perfect slap where I just, with just my ring finger,
just lightly flick the sticker out of her mouth.
And your middle finger goes inside her nose?
It just very delicately.
It would be just above.
Just like kind of tickles her nose and uses kind of a spring to get away.
But she's standing, after I've done this, she's like, what?
Right. She thinks that I missed and I've done this, she's like, what? What?
Right.
She thinks that I missed and I was trying to do like a real slap.
But I was just trying to flick this.
I show her, the sticker's now on my finger.
It says a million dollars on it.
Yeah.
But that was it for her.
So having Boardwalk alone, that's a million bucks?
You don't need Park Place?
So this was my misconception.
That's what I was wondering.
Because it said a million dollars on it.
It says that on Boardwalk, which was another complaint.
As you were complaining about Oriental Avenue, I was complaining.
This says a million dollars, but it says you also have to have the other one.
Park Place, yeah.
Yeah.
Dang.
Until I lost a yeah. Yeah. Dang. And so I lost a relationship.
Yeah.
And all this money.
Well, it's time that we do pass go, and we do collect about $200, I think, for doing
the show this year.
Yes.
So-
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide
to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in this Industry
We Call Showbiz.
Cedric Yarbrough is our guest today.
He's joining us from...
And if we could, just one more Monopoly joke.
And hey, Brett, go directly to jail.
Engineer Brett.
This is sort of a scoundrel. This is Engineer Brett. Cedric, I don't know if you know Engineer Brett. He's sort of a scoundrel.
I don't know if you know Engineer Brett.
He's kind of always up to no good.
He's the Loki of the
Earwolf universe.
I didn't even see you.
That's a real Loki thing.
It's only when he wants you
to see him.
But he will appear.
Pretty cool cloak you got.
Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, mischievous scoundrel. Go to jail, Brett. But he will appear Pretty cool cloak you got Yeah thanks man
Yeah mischievous scoundrel
Go to jail Brett
What are you Hufflepuff
Slytherin I mean your hat
What is that
What are you
Brett has one of those hats that's like
Those hats that have every NBA team on them
But it has all the Harry Potter houses
Right okay Yeah just like whoever's Like winning at the time Those have to have every NBA team on them, but it has all the Harry Potter houses. Right.
Okay.
Yeah, just like whoever's winning at the time.
Oh.
Yeah.
All right.
That's cool. In the Quidditch match.
Right.
Uh-huh.
All right, Brett.
I haven't actually seen it.
Brett plays in one of these live Quidditch leagues where he's just so into the movie that he
and a bunch of his friends do
run around on brooms inside
an indoor soccer arena.
But you just run?
Mostly now
it is just running. It's mostly running, getting
our energy out, burning it out.
Yeah. Alright.
Sounds fun.
What's your position again, Brett?
Forward back.
Forward back.
That's the direction that he runs.
In like circle, circle man.
Like circle man, did you just say?
Like circle man.
Yeah.
Forward back.
Forward back like circle man.
Okay.
It's been tough to nail him down on what the position is.
Those are definitely the words that he's saying while he is playing the game.
So that's consistent with what I've seen.
I wish Brett would go back to being low-key because I don't know what he's...
He's sort of.
He's become very high-key.
Yeah.
He's become the...
You know what? Let's might as well talk to Brett a little become very high key. Yeah. He's become the, you know what?
Let's might as well talk to Brett a little bit here.
Sure.
Okay.
Let's sort it out. Let's change gears a little bit and just talk to Brett for a minute.
Circleman or not.
Yeah.
Forget it.
Yeah.
I don't think we need to.
But we could.
Circleman, but we don't have to.
Yeah.
Okay.
But let's think about Circleman.
Are we sure?
Okay.
Circleman. Okay. We don't need to. You don't think about Circleman, are we sure? Okay.
You don't want to change that? Yeah, it's usually
the most athletic
member of the team. Oh really? That's not the
seeker? No.
Okay. Common misconception.
Alright.
Is that what your coach told you? Okay, if you say so.
Brett, we put the best
athletes in deep right field.
Yeah, we want you to be forward circle man.
Forward back circle man.
Forward back guy.
There you go.
There, circle man.
Right there.
Yeah, right, Brett.
Yeah, right, Brett.
Whatever, Brett.
Forget it, Brett.
Let's not talk to Brett anymore.
Cedric.
Yes.
Reno, 9-11. Or 9-1-1. I mean, 9. Let's not talk to Brett anymore. Cedric. Yes. Reno, 9-11.
Or 9-1-1.
I mean, 9-1-1 is a different thing.
Dangerous a little bit to be saying 9-1-1 so much on a TV show.
In fact, I think that's illegal.
The way that you can't show money, you can't say 9-1-1 either because that is technically calling the police.
It's firing a crowd of theater to be saying 9-1-1 throughout the entire show.
Well, we did.
Especially with Alexa.
Yes.
You could not do that show in the Alexa era.
Not now.
Not now.
Because, oh, God.
I mean, it would be emergency every day at your home,
especially if you're binge-watching.
And the DVDs are banned.
Which is so popular now. Do you want to talk about binge-watching. And the DVDs are banned. Which is so popular now.
Do you want to talk about binge-watching a little bit?
Sure.
I mean, yeah, I'm a fan of that.
Yeah.
What is it that still feels...
You have a complete emotion about binge-watching.
Binge-watching?
Yeah.
I'm actually scared of it.
Oh, no.
Can you sometimes feel...
When you're just going around town and you're somewhere, you are getting binge-watched, can you feel that?
What does that feel like?
Walk us through the experience of you're at the freaking store.
Being binged.
And somewhere someone is binge-watching you really hard.
Not unlike an orgasm or a good.
But not like an orgasm.
No.
Unlike.
But I don't know.
I mean, I don't know.
Is it a nice feeling?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm being watched.
Yep.
And I haven't stolen anything.
Yeah.
But it's a – have you guys ever climbed a mountain?
Yeah, a couple times.
That feeling.
Yeah.
So –
I think I did. Oh, that's right. Because I'm. Mm-hmm. So. I think I did.
Oh, that's right.
As I'm just thinking about it now, for a second, I was like, have I?
Yes.
And I actually did do it.
Okay.
I think you were, yes.
I think you were with me.
Yes.
Okay.
So that's a binge watch right there.
It's so hot up there, huh?
Oh.
Yeah.
On a mountain?
Yeah.
Because you get so close to the top.
And sharp.
The top is very sharp.
It's always super pointy up there.
Yeah.
And you've got to be careful because you could get sunburned or cut yourself on a mountain.
Yes.
Yeah, I've done that.
Well, then I basically know what the feeling is of being binge-watched in public.
Have you ever done a long running show
that's run on
for six seasons
in a movie?
What is a,
hmm.
Have you ever done
anything like that?
Like a day in and day out
doing a show
over and over
that people really love
and then you gotta
make sure that that show
always sustains itself
and being really,
really funny
and then making sure
that the kids below actually know what comedy funny and then making sure that the kids below
actually know what comedy is.
And then they always want to see you
in that eye of being a cop all the fucking time,
every day of your life.
Have you ever felt that?
Where they always do catchphrases of what you do.
You know, and the installation is free.
I get it.
Okay.
Have you ever felt anything?
You're just setting him up.
I think, yeah, it's so easy for me.
Yeah.
I mean, you, of course, know, almost so similar.
I was involved in the show Murder Police.
Oh.
Murder Police.
Yeah.
So the police actually do murders?
No.
Or how does this work?
It was named for the homicide department.
And it was an animated show.
Was Circleman one of those characters?
13 full episodes.
Circleman was one of them.
Okay.
It was Circleman.
It was originally,
Woman of All Drama was part of it.
He was recast
midway through
production.
Oh, boy.
I see.
Yeah.
Jane Lynch,
they brought her in.
John McBride.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, anyway,
they never put it on
so I don't have to deal
with some of the headaches
you're talking about.
That's kind of the ideal thing.
It wasn't like on.
Yes.
It's sort of the dream where you make the whole show, but no one sees it.
Oh, okay.
So you get the satisfaction of creating your art without the frustration of people kind of perverting it and quoting it back to you.
Right. perverting it and quoting it back to you. And that's kind of its own feeling when you're going around town,
going to the store, and you can feel somewhere
someone is force-deleting all the episodes of your show,
dragging it into the trash, and then fully emptying the trash.
And then there's a message that says,
hey, you can never get this show back if you do this.
And then that person hits it.
Opposite of binge watching.
Quickly hits okay.
And I can describe that sensation a little bit.
Oh.
Have you ever had a tapeworm?
No.
Well, you have to.
You must.
You must.
Just to, yeah.
But it's like having about 10 of those.
So.
Speaking of orgasm, we should talk
about something that happened to
Kevin this morning. Oh, that's right. We need to get
our producer chef Kevin in here.
We weren't talking about orgasms.
I think you brought it up
and once Hayes hears that word...
Oh, the Malcolm being on a mountain.
Yes, it was even before that.
It's the rest of the day for him.
I have perfect word recall. If you want, I could just go back from the very beginning of the show of the day for him. I have perfect word recall.
If you want, I could just go back from the very beginning of the show and do the entire
thing.
I will do it.
I don't.
I don't.
Please don't.
Kevin, something happened to you today.
I came into the office today.
I was here first.
Lately, I usually am.
So who is this guy?
Sorry.
This is Chef Kevin.
Chef Kevin is our, what is he now?
Associate producer?
Yeah, producer.
Junior assistant producer.
But he has the word chef in his name?
He is something of an aspiring gourmand.
Okay.
And he does our Blue Apron ads.
And he does inventive things with blue apron meals.
You've got to see some of the stuff that this guy is doing.
It really is actually pretty impressive.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Chef Kevin, I came in today, and Chef Kevin was a little quieter than usual.
He was a little bit inside himself.
You can feel when something's going on for Chef Kevin.
He's one of these guys.
When I say inside himself, normally that means one thing with Chef Kevin.
In this case, it means that he was withdrawn.
Sorry, that also means something else that Kevin can do.
In this case, it means that he was just not talking very much, kind of closed off.
Gotcha.
Sorry, that's another Kevin.
That's another Kevin thing.
Kevin, just talk about a little bit what was happening to you.
What happened to you today?
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
Chef Kevin here.
As I was walking to the office today, I was going to go up the stairs like I normally do.
But I walked by people having sex.
So I took the elevator today.
And it was
it was a lot
so this is a thing
with Jeff Kevin
Jeff Kevin is historically
very perverted
and he does
have a lot of like
strange desires
but
as far as like sex is concerned
he doesn't really know
but kind of the whole deal
the whole thing of it
well I also noticed that he also introduces himself like Kermit the Frog.
You know, he's like, hi-ho, Chef Kevin here.
Yeah.
Why does he usually just...
Yeah, he's been trying to get sort of a Kermit the Frog type persona,
a wholesome children's character to kind of temper
a bit of the horniness that he's normally
associated with.
Oh, yeah.
So he doesn't really get the sex thing.
No, and this is going to be one of the first times
that it's really been put right
in front of him.
He's one of these everything
but guys.
Like everything but?
B-U-T-T, yes.
Yeah.
Oh.
Everything but.
And he is now finding out essentially.
Oh, everything but.
Everything but.
All of it.
Yeah.
All the but.
The whole thing.
The whole thing.
Yeah.
When it comes to sex, everything but for Kevin.
Okay.
And so Kevin sees.
I would imagine he announced himself before he gets to the butt.
Hi-ho.
Yes.
Kevin here.
Yes.
And then he'll just go straight to town.
Yeah, he's like, time for a little bit of a tasting.
A chomping.
Yes, a chomping.
And a chewing. A chomping. Yes. A chomping. And a chewing.
A chomping and a chewing.
But Kevin today sees this thing.
It's a flight of butts for him.
I've seen him walk in and request a flight of butts.
Oh, boy.
Where does he walk in?
Oh, at Cheetah's.
Oh, Cheetah's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's his spot.
So you saw this today, and I think it did scare you a little bit.
Yeah.
And now tell everyone what the first thing you did was when you saw this.
Hi-ho, Kevin here.
Yes, after you introduced yourself. Okay.
Well, I walked by it because I was scared.
And then did you not call
someone and request more security at the building oh yeah i did tell matt to tell the building
manager like you know the gate was wide open people are having sex like it's kind of it's a
little too uh loose around here so you basically saw people in love, and you
called the police.
Well, I didn't want them to be like,
you know, make... Under arrest?
No. I didn't want people
to scare guests and
hosts.
Can I tell you something? Can you be free to express themselves?
Yes. I personally am not scared of that.
I don't... Of love.
Yes. I mean, yeah.
I'm scared of not having love.
I'm scared that there's not enough love in this world anymore.
That's pretty scary.
White people in the hallway making love to themselves?
What's the problem, Kevin?
That's the least scared I ever am of someone is when they're in the middle of having sex.
Yeah.
You're not going to fuck with me. Yeah. You're not going to fuck with me. I go, you're not going to fuck with me.
Yeah.
You're so busy.
Occupied.
Can you describe it a little bit more?
Okay.
The lady was bent over.
Her bottom was in the air.
Well, and of course Kevin's here.
Yeah, yeah.
Kevin's all about that.
He goes straight for it.
Everything. And the guy for it. Everything.
And the guy was standing behind her.
And when I walked by, he looked at me like right in the eyes.
Oh, boy.
And then I kind of scampered away pretty quickly.
Where was this?
Geographically paint the picture a little more.
It was at the staircase on the
other side of the building, like on this side.
I don't want to start saying street names
and stuff, but it was like that direction.
Oh, and you locked eyes when
Oh, boy.
And then was that enough to push him over the top?
I think so.
That kind of brought it home for him?
Well, you did a kindness for that man, Kevin.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's lucky.
Well, then you did something good.
Yeah.
I guess I should be proud, yeah.
Yeah, well, I'm proud of you, except for the part where you called the police.
I had two people who had fallen in love.
Yeah, leave them alone, dude. I where you called the police and two people who had fallen in love. Leave them alone, dude.
I didn't call the police.
I just, I'm nervous that they're going to be closer to the studio next time.
You think this is now their favorite place to do it?
This is their spot.
Yeah.
Well, probably because if this was their first date, let's say, it's going to be a lot of like he's going to come here and bend her over to propose to her.
At the very least.
Yeah.
On their anniversary.
Before they have kids, they'll probably want to come back here.
They'll probably want to bring their kids back here. where you just call on people, the police, for barbecuing and swimming in the pool and fucking in the hallways.
Yeah, just normal daily activities.
Yeah, just things that aren't your business, Kevin.
Okay.
Kevin, I guess, needs one of those names because there's like Barbecue Betty.
Kevin needs a name like that.
Hallway Kevin.
Chef Hallway Kevin.
God damn.
Hey, guys, Chef Hallway Kevin here.
Yeah.
Locking eyes and calling you.
Hashtag Chef Hallway Kevin.
That's unreal.
Let people live, Kevin.
Please.
Kevin, prepare to be canceled.
I hate to say it, but you are going to be dragged and canceled.
But cancel culture is real, and Chef Kevin is maybe the prime example.
Hashtag cancel Kevin.
Oh, no.
I can't believe that hashtag's trending.
Oh, it's trending already.
Cancel with a K.
I'm looking here.
Yeah, Twitter's a buzz.
Oh, no.
Cancel with a K.
That's catchy.
That's very clever.
Oh, Kevin, that is really going to go viral.
Seadrick.
Seadrick used to be a good thing.
Seadrick.
Yeah, let's get into the idea.
Let's go back to me.
The Speech-Oles.
Sorry?
The show.
Which?
About the family.
Ah, Speechless.
Yes.
Yes.
Mr. and Mrs.
Speechless.
Yes. Or Speech-Oles. I don't know if you... The Speech-Oles. Daddy Speech-Ole and Mommy Speech-. Yes. Mr. and Mrs. Speechless. Or speech-les.
I don't know if you...
Speech-les.
Daddy speech-le and mommy speech-le.
Or speech-less.
I feel like you're putting the L where it shouldn't be.
Well, let me see.
It's in the speech-less.
Midnight speech-le.
Okay. Oh, Speech-al. Okay.
Oh, no, guys.
It's Speech-less.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I wish it would speech more.
That's the funny show, and I like the talking in it.
I like a lot of the dialogue.
Yeah, but you'd rather have more talking.
I think so.
Meaning more episodes.
I think I could do even more.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
Okay.
Well, then you're in luck because we're in our third season now, so there will be more talking.
Okay.
What's the order?
22 episodes.
Oh, my God.
How are the hours?
That seems like a little greedy.
It's a lot of hours.
Yeah, a lot of hours.
It's work, but what else would we rather do?
No, it's true.
Call the police on people?
Yeah, is that what we're going to do instead, Chef Kevin?
Yeah.
And now Kevin taking pictures of us to send to the police.
Probably, yeah.
Unbelievable.
Hi-ho, Chef Kevin here.
Hey, you remember
me from the sex stuff?
Hey, you, hey. Hi-ho,
Chef Kevin here. Chef Kevin here.
I want to tell on people.
You don't know this, but Hayes and I actually
have a competition to see who does a better
Kermit the Frog, and it comes up maybe every
ten episodes now. But I can't do
it today because my voice is a
little shot and so i will win this time and and c drink you can hear it well why why why is your
voice so shot i've been eating a lot of spicy food and screaming
why are you screaming so because it's too spicy it. Oh, yeah. And I'll eat some of this food and say, ah!
Okay.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
That'll do it.
I do a lot of voiceover work, too, guys.
Ah, yes.
Bozak, the horse man.
Sorry?
Bozak.
Bozark.
Brojack.
It's Bojack, guys.
Bojack Horseman. Bojack Horseman.
Brojack Horseman.
And so I would suggest if you want to keep your voice, then to not eat the foods that are going to make you scream.
Unfortunately, I'm something of a heat seeker.
Fortunately, I'm something of a heat seeker.
He is a true heat seeker, and also Hayes is at a crossroads in his life right now where he is either going to pivot into voiceover work
or get one of those man versus foods, bizarre foods, kind of food challenge shows
where he just eats something insane.
Right. Food that is either too big or too spicy. Foods kind of food challenge shows where he just eats something insane.
Food that is either too big or too spicy.
You know what? By the way, can I suggest something?
Please.
If Chef Kevin
is going to be taking photographs, maybe you should
put it on the money here.
You think he's going to want
the front of your head? The angle, I agree.
He's just the back of my head. I think he's going to want the front of your head? The angle, I agree. He's just the back of my head.
I think he's going to want the front.
Behind the talent, the star of the show.
Of Speechless.
He seemed to be getting very comfortable back there.
He spent a good five minutes.
Yeah.
Because everything but is back there.
And so naturally.
Yeah.
Kevin, the photos aren't for you.
They're for the listeners.
I understand that you're everything but.
But.
Not all the listeners are that way.
No.
Anyway.
So you're heat seeking.
You're screaming.
Yes.
And I'll scream about the big food as well.
The big food.
If it's really big.
That it's huge.
And that it's insane.
Yes.
A lot of times it'd be a crazy-looking fish.
Okay.
What, like Branzino or some kind of?
Oh!
See?
Then that's a little taste of what the show would be.
Triggered him.
Yeah.
I won't say that again.
That fish is so crazy.
Yeah.
It is a crazy fish.
So we.
But I have Brett coming around and just kind of sometimes taking handfuls of the food
when the cameras aren't looking
so I don't have to eat the whole thing
Brett will scurry
you're taking your headphones off?
you're pissed
you're mad about that?
these don't work guys
they don't work at all
this is just for show
you did have them not on your ears.
No, I had them just on my head.
But it did make me comfortable just that they were on your head.
It felt like we were doing this.
Now that you mention it, mine don't work either, and they never really have.
I thought since Kevin is actually taking pictures, I should probably take them off because they probably look ridiculous in the picture.
Cedric, you wanted to hear my Kermit the Frog.
I'm so sorry we moved on from that.
I apologize.
Yes, I'm sorry.
That's mine.
Thank you, Kevin.
Thank you for turning mine all the way down.
Especially since Hayes can't do it today, we will do it.
Thank you for pivoting away from the headphones not working ever, too.
Kermit the Frog here.
Oh, no.
You don't think that's good?
No. Hi-ho. Oh, go ahead. Hi-ho. Kermit the Frog here. Oh, no. You don't think that's good? No.
Hi-ho.
Oh, go ahead.
Hi-ho.
Kermit the Frog here.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Like, are you trying to be Kermit the Frog?
Yeah.
Okay, one more time.
Sorry.
Maybe that was me.
Go ahead.
Oh, I didn't know you were trying.
No, it's, yeah.
The joke is that I don't sound like him.
Oh.
Yeah, it's funny.
You did it.
You did it.
Yeah.
You did it.
I'm a frog here.
That's not him at all.
So that joke works
thank you
yeah thanks
no I know
that's actually part of what
my comedy
is just being so
sort of subtly funny
by pretending that I did
think I sounded like Kermit
and then I
didn't
and I knew that
so these are not impressions
not even close
yeah
not even close for impressions?
No, it's the joke is I say I'm going to do the impression.
Yes, they're um-pressions.
Yeah, and I'm unimpressed.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what it's named after.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, so yeah, I've got a couple unimpressions,
and Kermit's probably the main one that I do.
It's really popular.
Do you guys need any more from me here?
Yeah, we're going to do some stuff about Brojack the Horseman.
Okay.
And it's going to be about how pissed we are.
Oh.
So between Brojack and, do you know this show Animals?
I've heard of that.
Have you done it?
Have you been asked to do it yet?
I have not been asked to do that
well I guess we're all in the same room
everyone in town who hasn't been asked to do that show
yeah the three people who haven't been asked
to do that show are in this room
Brett's probably on it
are you on animals?
what animal are you going to be?
a capybara
that's so fun
the hippo of the rodent world a capybara. That's so fun.
The hippo of the rodent world.
Yeah. So I am now pissed because so many earwolf people have been on Brojack and the rest have
been on animals.
Often both.
Yes.
And somehow my invitation got lost in the mail.
Cedric.
Yeah.
What we've decided is apparently in this town, you can just draw animals.
Are you looking for an invitation in the mail?
Yeah.
That's usually not how they handle these things.
How did they do it for you?
What happened for you?
Bozark, how did he get in touch with you?
They just called me
on the phone and asked
if I wouldn't mind doing
the show. Who's they?
Oh,
the king.
The king called you?
The king called you? What?
Oh my god.
Oh, that must feel so good to look down at your phone screen and see that the king is calling.
Yeah.
What did he say?
Well, first of all, it's just KG because he just goes by KG.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and that's what comes on.
Is it confusing when Kevin Garnett calls?
A little bit, but me you know, me and KG
are in a fight,
so I haven't heard
from him in a while.
Okay.
So when KG calls,
Yeah,
King,
King Good Movies.
Yes.
He,
is like a,
he likes to clear
his throat a lot.
Yeah.
Beep,
beep,
beep,
beep.
Cedric,
would you like to do an animated show that will change the world on Netflix?
I'm like, yeah, I would.
That's the number one thing for you is you will not do a show unless it is changing the world.
No, that's not what I do.
I mean, would you not what I do. Luckily, I've never
been approached with an opportunity
that wasn't world changing, so I haven't
been forced to make that decision. I don't know what
I would do. Yes, I've never had to face
that down. I would probably scream
as if I just saw a big piece of food.
Luckily,
every show that I've been involved with
ghosted, Everything really good.
Has changed the world.
You asked prior if the shows I've done have gone six seasons.
I think if you just look at the tracker, the show ghosted.
You know, you've got your answer.
So blah, blah, blah, king.
Yeah, the king.
Yeah.
So he called you. So it didn't come in the mail. Maybe that's part of what. Yeah, the king. Yeah. So he called you.
So it didn't come in the mail.
Maybe that's part of what I've been doing wrong.
Yeah.
But I got to say, I've seen my phone lately, and the king hasn't called once.
I've seen your phone too.
Mm-hmm.
And not at all?
He's not calling?
No.
And I don't know if it's a service issue in here.
Will you try calling me right now?
What do you have?
I have –
Well –
Hello?
I'm calling you.
Oh, so it's working.
Your phone is working.
I have Vons.
Vons is my service.
The supermarket.
The grocery store, yeah.
That's your...
Yeah, I use Vons.
I got a really good package.
Well, because I was getting already a bunch of these sort of like fruit roll-up, fruit
leather, really, not fruit roll-up, but I was getting a bunch of the fruit leathers
and I guess if you buy your phone at the same time, they'll actually give you like six months.
Of service.
I have a Ralf phone.
You have a Ralf phone?
It's just one word, Ralf phone.
Oh, Ralf phone.
Yeah.
Okay.
And it looks like a banana, but it is a phone.
I see.
Yeah, it looks like a banana, but his... I see it, yeah. It looks like a banana.
Yes.
It's wired to other fruit.
Yes, it is not wireless yet.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
But, yeah, he's got his raw phone.
And I have on service, and I think that the king would be able to get through on that.
Because, honestly, some of the deals, he's going to want to be calling to ask.
Well, I wish you guys
luck.
Well, we actually do want more than that
and we want our own show.
Oh, I was just leaving.
No, I know.
No, no, no. Say, say, say, say, say, say.
I'm going to go.
Hold on.
At some point you can go. No, hold on. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. At some point you can go.
No, you are.
But except that, apparently if you just basically draw like animals and bugs and have earwolf people do voices, you have a TV show now.
Yes.
And so maybe as a little bit of a revenge on animals, right, who after the first season, I can understand maybe why they didn't use us.
They had mostly people that we know.
Yeah, they had these John Levenstein.
No offense to, you know, like John Gabrus or whatever.
Yeah.
But at the point that you're calling him, you can go ahead and call me.
Right.
Nice guy, funny guy, not really moving the needle on the old ratings ticker.
You know what I mean?
But you would.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
We have a podcast.
Yeah.
Yes.
I have.
But wait, you're not using that Kermit voice on animals, are you?
That's not something you would do, right?
They didn't ask.
Well, if –
Oh, oh.
So, Cedric, so I can explain.
Oh, no.
They had told me that if I wanted to do it, that my animal would be a frog, and I thought I had this really funny idea.
You know, there is a famous frog already.
Which one are you?
Are you Sean or Hayes?
Unfortunately, I'm Sean.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
Sean.
Kill to be Hayes.
Yeah.
So we've been told we have very similar voices,
so we can effectively play whatever the same role is
and just split the money.
And just looking at you.
Yeah.
Sometimes I can't.
Yeah. I have that.
For animation, you don't even have to do that.
Yeah.
And for most of the acting that I do, I like doing look-away acting where I'm always in
thought but talking to you.
Some importance going on up there.
Exactly.
Wheels are turning.
So, Hayes, don't do the Kermit thing.
Really.
Oh.
Really, Hayes.
Okay.
That's good.
That works the look away thing.
Yeah.
It actually does really help.
Is it ever dangerous that you look away too long, but then you look back down and they're
not taping anymore?
And they're gone.
And they're gone.
And Minnie is gone.
And they've left.
And they're not taping anymore.
And they're gone.
And they're – And Minnie is gone.
And they've left.
That and my eyes tend to dry out looking up like that.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
It's windy up there.
It's been many – it is windy.
And there have been many, many times where everybody's – yeah, everyone's gone.
It's wrapped.
And that's why my days are so long, I think.
Yeah.
Okay.
You were talking about –
That's right.
You were saying the hours were pretty crazy.
You may want to have Chef Kevin there because he has often offered to soak my eyes.
And I never knew why that was coming up.
But I guess he's afraid that I have the same issue that you do.
Guys. Is Cedric allowed to leave I have the same issue that you do. Guys.
Is Cedric allowed to leave?
Guys.
No, no, no.
I'm not trying to.
Are you trying to kick me out?
It sounded like you were like, I have to go.
Your understanding was it would be exactly one hour, and that's about how long we've been here.
Oh, really?
And we had a whole idea that we wanted to do.
Well, that's what I wanted to get to.
That's what my guys meant.
Oh, okay. Guys, I think this is a good idea we we wanted to do. Well, that's what I wanted to get to. That's what my guys meant. Oh, okay.
Guys, I think
this is a good idea
we have.
Wow.
That is so nice to hear
for the first time.
Yeah.
And as soon
as my phone works...
Your phone's broken?
Well, after the phone call,
the cagey phone call.
Yeah.
That'll bust the wires.
Well, it'll self-destruct.
Yes.
That's the cagey way.
It gives you the orders.
I noticed the king mispronounces your name.
Yes, he does, but that's fine.
He's allowed.
That's Dr. Martin Luther King's, the king's son.
Oh.
The king of movie Hollywood. Yeah. He says Ced son. Oh. The king of movie Hollywood.
He says Cedrus.
Yes.
Why does he think that last C is an S?
Yeah.
Who can answer what's going on inside the king's head?
To ask that question, Hayes.
Yeah.
Hayes, we've gone over this before,
but questions are thieves and statements are good.
Why is it Les Moonves?
I mean, isn't it Les Moonvie?
Yeah, would it be Moonvie?
And we are, of course, recording this in February of 2018, and I just want to say he is my closest friend, and I would die for that bit.
Best man I've ever known.
All positive for me.
He's a good, good guy.
Just a good dude.
Good act.
Just a dude you can bro out with, play a couple drinking games like we talked about before, right?
Right, sure.
Quick round of Devil's Triangle.
Right. around a devil's triangle. So let's talk about just what people in Hollywood could be what animals,
and then we'll let you go, Cedric.
Okay, sure.
Where are we going to put Eric Stonestreet?
Eric Stonestreet.
That's a great question.
Really good.
He could be interesting as a freaky bug.
Ooh, yeah.
Yes.
And the bug's going like, hey, buzz off, pal.
That sounds like Eric Stone Street a lot.
Yeah.
Stone Street.
Okay.
Let's pitch some other names out there.
Well, I was thinking, how do you see Steven Spielberg?
Oh. Ooh, Steven was thinking, how do you see Steven Spielberg? Oh.
Ooh, Steven Spielbug.
Yep.
Okay.
Perfect.
He could be a very interesting bug.
He could be some weird, freaky bug.
Yes, exactly.
Right?
He's going,
action, cut, buzz off, pal.
Yes, yes.
That is so good.
I like it. Did you have anybody you wanted to turn into an animal?
Guys
Well
What about Michelle Rodriguez?
Ooh
Okay, okay
So Michelle Rodriguez
I almost could envision, right?
As like sort of having like six legs.
La cucaracha.
Oh, yeah.
Some weird freaky bug.
Some sort of freak-ass bug.
Yeah, man.
Yes.
Michelle Rodriguez.
Crawling around.
She's like, hola, buzz off, senor.
Definitely.
So that was good
I was worried
we weren't gonna get
to like
the hard premise
of the show
but we did
but we circled back
we got back
we got way in there
this show
we did sort of
circle man
green lit
totally
we totally
forward backed it
yeah we forward
back circle man
there you go
do you have anything
else that you'd like to promote?
Is there something you want to talk about?
You promoted like a million things.
Oh, sure.
There's Paradise PD on Netflix that we have out right now.
You're a cop again?
Excuse me?
You're a cop again?
I am a cop again.
Cop again.
And you're police on Bozark, correct?
I'm a cop on that as well.
Reno 911, we might be. Okay, I'm a cop on that as well. Reno 911, we might be.
Okay, I'm a cop on that show.
Cop show, yeah.
What's, oh, go ahead.
No, it's a cop movie that I saw the other night.
Oh, okay.
Talk about it.
Murder police.
They made a movie out of it?
They made a movie out of murder police?
Yeah.
You weren't in it, I noticed.
Yeah, well.
Sean, right?
Yeah.
Unfortunately, yes.
I noticed that part.
I wasn't a part of the movie.
You weren't in that.
Yeah.
You were not a part of it.
Did they bring Wilmer back?
Yes. He was in there. Yeah. You were not a part of it. Did they bring Wilmer back? Yes.
He was in there.
Mistake to get rid of him in the first place.
Yeah.
He was great.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, he was.
Well, I do want to say.
I have more to pitch, by the way.
I have other things on my project.
Hit me.
Hit me.
Back there.
Oh, The Hills of Baldwin.
It's a black soap opera that me and the guys from the Black Version show that I do locally here at the Groundlings Theater.
What we do at the Groundlings Theater is a movie title.
We get a movie title from the audience. Yeah. They shout out whatever,
Silence of the Lambs
or Batman Forever
or whatever.
And then we do,
we improvise the black version
of that movie.
Okay.
And then the second act
are the DVD extras
or deleted scenes.
Okay.
The cast of that show,
we've all gone to Audible
and now we have a new podcast
coming out
or Black Soap Opera called The Hills of Baldwin.
Okay.
And you are all cops and the audience is cops?
Yeah.
It's improv for and by cops?
Yeah.
Wow.
Blue Lives Matter.
Can other people listen to it on Audible?
I don't disagree.
Well, it sounded like you did.
No, no, no.
I didn't say.
That was Kermit.
I think they have a cooler flag.
Than the American flag?
Yeah.
The colors.
Are we not tired of that?
Not at all.
Not at all.
So when Chef Kevin called the cops on the people having sex, he was actually calling you.
I guess that's why you're here as a guest.
Why you're here as a guest.
Shut up, guys.
I didn't realize that.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I wandered in and I'm like.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm in this cop uniform.
Right, yes.
And I suppose you did try to arrest me initially.
I did.
I did.
I thought, I mistakenly thought it was you in the hallway
doing what chef kevin he gets profiled a lot as someone who was recently having sex yes yeah my
hair is always sort of tussled and my belt is askew oh it's askew yeah yeah i'm sort of sweaty. Mm-hmm. A little nauseous.
I see a prophylactics in your hand.
Well, I'm holding those.
Yeah.
Just for I have a sort of a stand-up routine where I do kind of a variation on the old Howie Mandel thing where he would put the glove over his head. But I'm just putting the prophylactics like over my ears or whatever.
Ah.
Yeah.
And then I do a whole riff on Thanksgiving.
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