Hollywood Handbook - Demi Lardner and Tom Walker, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

The Boys try to learn to like DEMI LARDNER AND TOM WALKER from the podcast bigsofttitty.png. Get tickets to see Hollywood Handbook live and live-streamed in LA Oct 4th with special guests Vic Michaelis, Zac Oyama and Lou Wilson HERE!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gun podcast. Hey everyone, come see Hollywood Handbook live and live streamed Friday, October 4th at 730 PM Pacific time at the dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles. We got three heavy hitter guests Vic Micalis, Zach O'Hanlon, Lou Wilson. I'm really excited about this. We've got a ton of the fun dropout gang joining us for this one If you can't make the show don't worry We're gonna keep the live stream link up for a couple weeks after so you can check it out there Go to dynasty typewriter comm and if you're listening to the newest episode the link is in the description

If I can hate you, sorry so just a There's a question for Tom because his hair looks so fucking insane. Mm-hmm. So, you ever see these, the soap container in the shower that's supposedly a three in one?

What do you think the three are? I'm just curious. Well, one of them's gotta be soap. Okay. All right. And you knew that. That seems easy enough. And you knew that. That's, okay.

You're guessing or you know? I mean, I'm thinking of the things I'd find in a shower. So one of them has to be soap. The other one, of course, our classic shower companion, water. Okay. Three would be your slippery wife, yes?

Oh yeah, when I think of the things that make up a four-star shower. This is a shower, right? This is a shower. The soap, the water, the wife. The wife. And her lover. And my lover. Don't drop the wife. And his lover, Tom.

My face when I see my slippery wife in the shower, oh ho, and then when my eyes refocus and I see her slippery lover behind her, oh no. Ah. I thought I was. He's trying to stay hidden back there, but it's too slippery. He's sliding around.

His foot, he's peeking out from behind her leg. Yep. My wife's hourglass figure means there's nowhere for him to hide behind her. I can still see him in her curves. My wife is sausage shaped today instead because of my lover's hard stomach. My darling, my darling, you've lost your trademark hourglass silhouette. Is there someone behind you?

Ah, the better to hide my lover with, my dear, she says. And this is the thing about shower lighting, about how it's so, your lover is always so aggressively backlit in the shower that it's pretty much just silhouette. I don't understand how that makes it easier to wash my hair in my irony, but. Going up at a standup night. Do you use- Anyone else find it harder

and harder to identify their wives' lovers? On account of how backlit they are, anyone else feel like their wife has a silhouette fetish? You guys notice this? You seen this? And this is the thing about like- The shadowy figure behind your wife in the shower. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Love it. Anyone else see this? Anyone else not hear this? Anyone else not hearing the figure

behind one's wife in the shower? And you can't, you can't talk about this and like, whatever. Love is love, same love, like I believe in all this, but like the fact that you can actually have a situation now where your wife's lover's silhouette is like the same as your wife's, like this is okay.

I mean, this, this is just making it impossible. It's, it's not the world I grew up in. So I'm going to need a minute. It, I'm not saying anything is wrong. I'm saying I need a minute. Is that okay? Just give me one minute. Can I have a minute to get used to it?

No, no, no, you have to immediately, fully understand and accept this. Can I just take a beat, just to be alone for a minute with it and just digest? Cause it's a lot. Just to sit down, just to put my butt square against the shower floor. Well this is why I want a bigger bench in the shower too.

Yes, it's too small. It's so small. It's all, and it's always small. It's barely enough room for the three in one. That's right. My grips are like, I appreciate having something, but I need everything to be a little bigger and grippier surface.

Yes. Ideally I want a shower that's so grippy, it's hard to leave. Yes. That would be preferable. Thank you. Right now, it's way too easy. Well, I'm shooting out of it over and over again, and it's hard to get clean.

I feel like it's downhill. I know that doesn't make sense, but I feel like my shower is downhill. Mm-hmm. I often feel like when I'm pressed up against the slippery bodies of my wife and her lover, I just shoot out of the shower like a watermelon seed. Pressure's applied to me and I'm just out of there

before I can even get a lather going. Much less a lover going. Yes, like a greased piglet. And not a pig, compared to my wife's lover, I am but a piglet. That's how I feel too. I'll tell ya, I was hoping to get in the shower with my slippery wife and blast off, but not like that.

No. I wasn't thinking I was gonna blast off and end up head first in the sink. No, it's not good. It is hard to get into the shower as well. Isn't it? Yes. Which is why it's so easy to get out, you see?

Spill. But it can be difficult to get into the shower. That's what I do whenever I try to get in or out of the shower. Yeah, yep. I wanted to get in the shower and spill, but not like that. Mm-hmm.

No. Yeah. Anybody else, are the drains getting bigger? Yeah. Anyone else finding it easier and easier to fold down the drain? To be completely inside the drain? Yes. Both feet in the drain. To be completely inside the drain? Yes.

Both feet in the drain up to my knees? Anyone else noticing this? Yeah, I keep losing my gum nut hat in the drain because I fall down there and then it's hard to pick it back out, you know what I mean? Anybody else's gum nut hat? Anybody else's gum nut hat get caught in the drain

when you fall down it? The drains are getting bigger though and I'm glad that you brought it up. Oh me too, yeah, I wanted to talk about it and also the reception that the concept is getting is so encouraging for me. Yes. I was so afraid no one else would have noticed it

but this has been actually really just a totally positive experience. I wanna like you guys. I really do Yeah, I really like that was my goal. Yeah, I said to Hayes before what did I say Hayes? I if he said I I want so so bad to like them But yeah, even just a little bit. Yeah, just a little bit And then I said and then and then I, but I know I'm not gonna. I just gotta know, like, you know, Australia,

whatever, the Australian thing, like whatever, it's not a big deal to me, but I gotta, I gotta just find a purchase here. I gotta have a footing. Are you guys, you guys have been doing this for- We need a big shower bench. You guys have been doing this for a minute, right? Showering.

No, Demi. What do you, what? I'm trying to talk to you, okay? I'm trying to talk to you, baby. We're doing a podcast. I do a podcast. We're never gonna get people- We're never gonna get people

for this rate. Yeah, okay. I'm trying to connect with people about a shared experience. You do a podcast, you've been doing a podcast. When did you start the podcast? We never meet people like that. When? Just say a time, please, just a normal time.

Go ahead. Tom Walker, Tom David Walker. We started the podcast about seven years ago. Seven years. No, no, no, no. Wasn't that. No. That was wrong.

So, and now this is why it's hard to like us because we lie. And you won't know which one of us lied either, so. It was 2017. No. No? No. Well now what am I caught in the middle of?

Because what I'm trying to figure out is, are you guys the new crap that I like to complain about? Or are you guys the guys that I can complain about the new crap with? Right? You know?

That's what I wanna figure out. There's two categories of podcaster. Mm-hmm. There's the fucking, all the shit that Kevin makes now. Yes, all this new crap. All this fucking new crap. Everybody's showing up to the party. Big, just starts taking food off of my plate.

That looks good. Well, yeah, I was actually enjoying that. That's mine. It looks good because I picked it. Because it, because. Because I prepared it. Yes. Each one crappier than the last one.

And somehow the next one. I don't know how they managed that. It sounds like, so, you don't need to give a number, obviously you're not going to Demi, you've evaded that quite successfully, but were you before 2017, was that not long enough ago, or were you after 2017? Because that actually is the cutoff point.

Tom? What are you looking at? Demi! What are you looking at? You're looking at something. Are you looking at car crashes again? He's looking up when the first episode came out. I'm not looking at car crashes right now.

Right now I'm looking at, well, I'm at KevinBartelt.com and I'm at the podcast listing thing, just trying to get an idea of when the, kind of the shows that are being talked about here are coming up. This new crap. Oh, this new crap. Might as well do the crap. I'm getting an understanding.

Do the crap. Oh yeah, Improv for Humans with Matt Bessa. Kevin put that on his website? On the bottom. Well, it's on the bottom, and also it now redirects to a page not found. This is how I find out. If you want.

Do you have a mic? Do you have a mic, son? Check, check, check. Okay, could have used that before speaking. The check is supposed to come before speaking. That's what Kevin says to me. A little taste of his own medicine there. I would say it's interesting to hear from you that you're trying to connect with people. I would love to hear if your usual, you know,

efforts to connect with people on like a personal level, if they're always preceded by both of you wearing mirrored sunglasses and baseball caps? I'm trying to make... There's a big difference between mirrored and polarized. Let's just get into this, okay? I mean you look like hostage negotiators. Negotiators. Oh, aren't those actually heroes? I think that's actually a nice thing to do.

Aren't those huge heroes? Or not the bad guys who take hostages or the bad guys who are like, give those back. We're like, hey, hey, hey, we could figure out like, which like how many you give back or stuff like that. Like, I actually been lobbying for it to become all cups are bad except hostage negotiations. Yes.

Yeah, I actually think, yeah, like what are they doing? It's unclear if we're even, like we don't wear the same clothes. We wear like a short sleeve untucked button down type thing sure i do feel bad because you got to move the megaphone up and down you can't have those long sleeves bunching up yes sorry you were saying something no i was just like oh yeah look obviously you're gonna want to keep some of the hostages. This is everybody's dream to have at least a couple hostages, but I'm wondering Hey pal, can you spare a couple hostages brother?

Can I get some of those? Seems like there's plenty to go around walking past you, you know, sorry man. Nothing on me Ween while you can hear the hostages bumbling around in his pockets kind of bumping up against the walls like lemmings my thing is a hostage negotiator is I Always say it's really important that I get some of the pizza before they send it in there. Because I have to just like be able to say how good the pizza is to the hostage guys.

Right, I have to be able to credibly convince them that the pizza is worth sending a hostage out. Also with Tom's example, that is frustrating, where they're walking into a bank or something, and they're going, I don't have a single hostage, I'm so sorry, I forgot it. And then two minutes later, a helicopter's landing on top. It's like, oh really, you have no hostages?

Then how could you afford that helicopter? Yeah. Like, how did that happen exactly? so it's just it's so frustrating but I My thing is I like I do like to align myself with them and just say like hey bud I'm not trying to get the hostages For the cops. Yes. I'm just like you Like I love having hostages.

I gotta tell you, man. It's a lovely game. I got into this job. I got into this job so I could talk my way up to being you. I wanna get notes from the guy with the hostages. And I do wanna like you guys, but it's the thing of like, what I'm feeling is the thing of like,

what I'm feeling is the uncertainty of like, okay, we're all increasingly getting deeper and deeper into the shower drain. We find that common ground, but then in the back of my mind I'm realizing, you guys are going down there in a different direction. Yeah, we're actually coming towards each other. Right?

Like I think our feet are gonna collide a bit. But as we're slipping down, we're turning different ways. You know? It's a different experience. This is just how we're, this is just the science. We're gonna get all tangled up in there. Yeah. Because we're spinning opposite each other.

Yes. We're gonna corkscrew into each other. Mm-hmm. So it's- So, I mean, let's talk. It's nature. What kind of show, where are we fitting in the Australian scene?

Like, what are the comps? Help me understand. Like, I'm trying, I'm trying to find someone. Hayes is really trying to connect. I've never seen him make this big an effort to like one of our guests before. He really wants to like you guys. I really want to connect. Find someone. I've never seen him make this big an effort to like one of our guests before. He really wants to like you guys. I really want to.

Yeah. So like. I want to really good. I really want him to, I really wanna help. So talk, respond to everything. Pfft. Okay, here I am, Haze. Okay. Hello.

I am asking questions. The questions are, when did the show start? What is the, do you guys have a Kevin? What's, what is different and the same about that, Kevin? Is there a network situation? Which show that I understand from America are, is you over there? Okay.

I would say we're kind of like, if 3DEM had some severe human resources issues, and there was just two of us. Okay, not much of a stretch. Okay. Yeah. And we do, we have a producer, his name is Brendan. His ADHD medication has not been met for several months,

so I now ping him on everything we need done, because otherwise he gets confused and it's, you know, you kind of have to guide him back to what he's doing at work. Is that fair to say, Demi? Okay, well that's his superpower, so. What you're actually doing is being kryptonite to his superpower, which is getting confused

and not doing any work. And also, as I have been seeing in a lot of really interesting online advertisements, hypersexuality is actually ADHD response. That's the symptom of ADHD, yeah. And so it's people, people look at these things like they're some sort of moral failing when in fact it is a medical condition.

And one of the only ones that you can self-diagnose with an online test in under three minutes. And so. Yeah, and it's one of those beautiful medical conditions where some of the side effects are like being creative and it's not your fault. Yes. And it's not your fault when you become Yes. And being creative not in terms of like work output but in how you cheat on your partner. Well it's just the way that you see the

world is like totally new. It's hard for a normie to connect to. Someone who's neurotypical would look at that 22 year old and not even see an opportunity. But me, I see them and I'm just like, okay. All right. And that's because I couldn't find my medication. Because I get confused. Well, it's hard for me to study and it's hard for me not to fuck. I mean, what is confusing here?

Could anything be more simple? In there, so they've made this conclusion about hypersexuality and they are researching gigasexuality as well, which is what I've, what I've been tentatively diagnosed with. Really? Yes. If they could get close enough to me, they would, they would be able to diagnose me with that. If they could get you tied down, pinned down. If they could get close enough to me, they would they would be able to diagnose me with that. If they could get you tied down, pinned down. If they could get him to sit down, yeah, get him to hold still. Yes. Oh, he's off again.

You look over, you're fucking the stool like Rogan, just ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah I lost him to the gigasexuality. Did he do that? The giggity giggy sexuality. Right? Do you guys have Quagmire down there? We just got him. That's so good. You are in for one hell of a fucking ride, dude. Buckle up. Demi, y'all like Quagmire? Oh yeah, I was gonna say how long it took you

to fucking talk to me. Yeah, I like Quagmire. I'm sorry. I didn't Again, I don't know the norbs. I didn't know we had to say the name of an individual person before we pose Yeah, a general question about the about the the podcast that they host but again I'm trying to learn if you have a thought on ADHD, go ahead and jump in. I always do because I've got it. So I don't wait for anybody. Quagmire, it was helpful to have,

and I know we haven't been using Australia as a penal colony where we send people for a really long time, but the fact that those laws were still intact, that we could do that and that we could utilize that mechanism on, on Quagmire for us was helpful. Like Sean said, it was hell of a fucking ride, but like, you know, like all of them, it's time to get off at some point.

And that's what he says. Giggity, giggity. Mm-hmm. GIGGITY! Hello. Hollywood handbook. Guys, don't let back to school season set back your nutrition.

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and I think it's hard for him to remember the name of every show that he's working on. And so I think every week they call and ask, so what's the name of the show? We can build a promo around the name of the show. And I think he said that our show is called The Boys Class. Yeah, well it is like, it's got sort of a notebook

as the image of it. So it's sort of school-coded. And he doesn't know where he is at any time. Like he's always surprised to see me when I show up to record and tries to play it off and he's like, Oh, right. Okay. So I'm not shocked at all to see that he accidentally called us the boys class. And so that is the code.

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It's just that Kevin thinks the name of our show is The Boy's Class. And the way he talks about being married as like consuming all of his time in a way that people normally talk about like having kids and stuff. Yeah, he's just like, God, just like nobody warns you. Like the minute you get married, it's like, you, you know,

you just have no time for anything else. And this is that, this is not. That was not my experience. How I think about it. But I, you know, I want to say like this, this particular ad speaks to me because when it is back to school season and people are starting to go back to school,

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Now I'll say we can't, we can bet on football obviously. Sean and I ourselves are podcasters. We can't bet on podcasts, but we can talk about some of our other favorite bets that we would make on podcasts if we were able to bet on podcasts, which we can't. Yeah, we're not allowed because we're part of the committee. Yes.

And so it's things like, you know, obviously every episode of Adam Condo versus Factually, he either wins or he loses. He either, he's either right or wrong. Mm-hmm. So that would be exciting for me to bet on if I hear that he's covering, and I don't really know what he does on the show,

but if he was like telling you the truth about vegetables or something, I'd go, well, vegetables are gonna crush this guy. That was an amazing guess. It is vegetables. There's no way he's gonna get this right. And I was passing the studio on the way in here and it was looking rough. We can't hear what people are saying,

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member FDIC found score features are free. They also offer offer an optional paid product found plus Demi. Hi. Are you guys on a network? No. yeah, do you have so do you have podcast in the work? We have we have podcasts networks. We left our podcast network. Okay, okay We know a little something about that Yeah, and then wait, so how long ago did you leave? Um, I think it was in 2017 we left Okay Okay I think it was in 2017 we left. Okay. Okay.

Kind of seems like you've just... That's fine, we're gonna let that go. But yeah, we had, we'd been gearing ourselves up to have this conversation with them about like, hey, we think it's time for us to leave, you know, we really appreciate everything you've done for us. And then the boss messaged us out of the blue and was like, hey, I just realized we're not really doing anything for you. Do you guys wanna go independent? We're like, oh yeah, that's great.

But we thought we might. That'd be great. That was interesting. It's different communication style here, I guess. But we don't, our networks don't send that email here. They just do it in every other form of communication. Yeah, so the messages that we would get from our network were like, we would be like,

is there anything that we should be doing? And we would get a message back like, hey, my dad put my dog down without telling me. Just tell me at least. At least tell me. If you gotta do it, do it. Yeah, he didn't have to though. That was the least he didn't have to.

Dads know this stuff. Yes. You know, when you're young, you don't quite understand. Yeah, but you say that now, but then you become a dad and like, dads kind of have a sense for that thing. This dog gotta go. Yeah, yes, yes. No, I agree.

I didn't have a dog. Dogs can't talk, you know? You gotta kinda play by feel with them a little bit. So you really do have to just kinda go with your gut. Have you thought about this though? There is a different communication style, so in a way, there is a way that a dog can talk. My eye keeps twitching when I look over at you, and I don't wanna blame anyone else. but also in a way, there is a way that a dog can talk.

My eye keeps twitching when I look over at you, and I don't want to blame anyone else, but as I turn this way, I'm getting this eye twitch, like this muscle spasm. And you're going to a convention that's all about that, is that correct? Yes, it's called eye twitch. Okay, eye, okay. And they have a gentle breeze blowing into everybody's face

the whole time that you're there. and and time didn't want to go He didn't want go. Okay So I'm I'm here, but Tom's Tom's not here. He's over there with his tall hair Instead I think it's normal hair. I think I think I've successfully small Yeah, yeah, he says that's what says. Your small hair. He's gone. He was gone away. Just turning off my camera for, you know, but till. Well, wait, did I always near know my husband back?

Now I have a husband again. Is this your first TwitchCon? No, I went to the one where Adrian and Chechik broke her spine and then tweeted. Tweeted. Tweeted that then tweeted that she couldn't, you know. She couldn't, you know. Oh yes, I do. I went in that pit. I went in the pit. Don't even, yes. Don't even, yes.

But I didn't go in the pit. I know the who, I know the what. Yeah, I got also a tiny bit hurt in hurt in that, in the same foam pit. Oh. Only a little tiny bit. Foam chetchich? You got chetchich on you? I got chetchich on me?

After she broke her spine, they kept it open for another three hours. Oh my God. Well, that was really famous when that happened for sure. And- She can do it again now, she said. And remind me which one that was. Which one? Yeah.

The one, she's in a lot of videos. You can see if you- Videos, love them. Oh my God, I'm watching these things. I'm going nuts. Have you said, yeah, how many videos would you say if you had to, so like, are you trying to cut back or are you like, I don't even care. I don't think it's bad for me.

It's like- I'm ready to watch another one. Show me a video, yeah. When I'm watching them, I'm enjoying them. If I wasn't having that experience, I would absolutely stop. Yeah. But right now, the stuff I'm seeing is just Really filling my day. Let me ask you this. What is the last video that you actually saw that you?

didn't enjoy a Video I didn't enjoy if you can even find one if you can think of one at all Well, let me go in the tank for a minute because there probably is one. Yeah, you might as well be a fish. The show is bigsofttitty.png. That's right. We have Tom Walker and Demi Lardner here.

That's right. Demi is here, Tom is. Not. Patching in. I'm in our home country of Australia, that's right, hello. That's right. Hello. Yeah.

And they're headed to TwitchCon. Is this cool by the way? Is this cool me being on a big screen near you guys? Hello. That's not that big. It's not big. Don't flatter yourself. Do you want us to, hey, do you want us to get a smaller screen?

You want to keep talking about it and we can get a smaller screen and we can put you outside. Can't believe he thinks the screen is big. I know. For some reason I pictured it taking up pretty much like an entire wall. Height wise, I'll tell you what it is. It's much taller than you would think, but it's not that big.

It's a very, it's a tall TV. Yeah. Huh. It has two kind of stick legs sticking out of the bottom all the way to the ground. And it has like a tongue, not a tongue, but it has like, it's a tongue. It has a tongue on sort of the knees of the legs.

Yeah. Right. It sounds like you're just, so it's just, is it Kevin holding a monitor? That sounds like- Oh, okay, it's Kevin. Yes, that's right. It is, yeah. Okay.

Kevin, you've worked your magic again. I'm still going through videos. Damn, if a lot of them aren't out of pain. This is the problem with going in the tank. You can really get stuck in there watching videos. Well, now I'm essentially just watching all my videos in my mind, and I'll tell you, it makes me less interested in doing the show.

One of my step-dads had a gigantic tank in his house. One of my, I had a lot of them, stepdads, and one of them had a. Well, how big is this tank? Because is it like Tom being like, this TV's big? I can't believe it. Yeah, I don't know how to. I can't believe, well, actually, let's go back to that.

So Tom, why did you think, when you started speaking a minute ago, why did you think that the screen speaking a minute ago, why did you think that the, that the screen would be big that you were on? I figure it's Hollywood. They have like big screens just all around. And you think you deserve one of those? I leave that at work. I think that it's not insane for me to think that I'm on a big screen in Hollywood and my

boat's about to come in. This is going to change everything. and my boat's about to come in, this is gonna change everything. Okay. Your boat is about to come in, but Quagmire is on it. And he's disembarking, which is also another day he has for getting off Giggity. Giggity. What are you watching?

What are you watching? Oh, I'm watching the movie Animal Kingdom to feel closer to my Australian friends. Okay, so not the show. They made a show out of that, but you're watching. I haven't gotten there yet. You haven't gotten there yet. You don't even know that there's a show.

Jackie Weaver should have won for this. You're catching up. Yeah, I'm tuning in Is it we like well? Tell you what a couple of baddies in this family No, no, no Don't do that. It's your family How does your own brother? How does Auntie Donna figure into all this?

Is it true that you're anti Donna What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Here's my feeling about these guys. I have a feeling that, Auntie Donna, these guys might be the new crap.

Right? Did they just fucking- Are these guys some of that new crap? Doesn't it feel that way? You've all been hacking away at it forever and then this new crap shows up. I'll take some of that. That looks crap. Doesn't it feel that way? You've all been hacking away at it forever and then this new crap shows up. I'll take some of that. That looks good.

They came over here, I wanted to like them. Oh, I was dying to like them. Damn, was I doing my best. Yes, but the more they talk and they do love to talk. Oh my gosh. The more I sort of kind of hear it. Each one talks more than the next except the quiet one Quiet one doesn't talk as much. He talks deep though. Yes, and when he says it you listen. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah No conversational sniper man

Reminds me of my wife. Yeah. Yeah, she will sit quiet for you know Several meals yes you know, several meals. Yes. Just silent. A whole, you know what I mean. And kind of leaning on her forearms like a sniper. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Head down low in front of the hands. Yeah, I know, oh, get ready for another incisive comment from wife, she's been holding her breath and lowering her heartbeat for a while. Mm-hmm Yeah, that's a pulse rate down just where it goes on the exhale Yeah, yeah, her chair So you have a in the beats you have a dining chair at the dining table and she has like what like a massage table that

She can rest her that she can rest her elbows on and be completely supine while eating? Is that right? Well, thank you for using the term supine. Supine is what she's eating. Supesab. Supine is soupsab. You're thinking of prone. Oh, we love prones. We put them on the barbecue in Australia.

Oh, delicious prone. You throw another prone on the barbie. That's famous saying. Yes. Yep. Put that down. Oh, delicious prone. Throw another prone on the barbie, that famous thing. Yeah, we've got, yes. Yep. Put that down. Yeah, put that down. Put that down.

I actually agree. Put that down. We don't do Zoom animals and things, you know. We did it once, and I wish we hadn't. Last time I went to the Zoom. Zoom animals. Last time I went to the Zoom. Zoom animals.

Last time I, no, me, me, me, me, me. Zoom animals. No, I'm just, I haven't offered.. Last time I, no, me, me, me, me, no. You got to talk, excuse me. Tom, the whole first half of the show was you and that was by design. I'm starting to feel like he got. Then Demi threw a big fit. Why don't I get to speak?

Is Tom a nuclear? Why don't I? Here we go again. Shit. All right, floor is yours. All right, go ahead, Tom. Zoom animals, Sonic the Hedgehog cinematic universe is coming together as we speak.

Okay. Knuckles? Another thing we don't talk about in this, I mean, that franchise has killed more people than all wars put together. As we've established many, so just to like glibly bring that up. Yeah. Really a casual conversation for us. Yes.

But we do understand how it could be like it. I put, yeah. So basically I found a turtle outside, uh, at the creek and I put it in this stepdad's big fish tank and it ate all of his tropical fish. It was a fish tank. It was, yeah. It was gigantic. It was huge.

Okay, well you think, you know, this is the thing like the military industrial complex here in the United States. You're right. You say you had a big tank. I'm picturing this guy driving around in basically a fucking gun car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Post Malone has.

He's got a tank. Oh! Ah. He's got a tank. A type of, yeah. So you say he's got a tank and I'm thinking like. You're picturing. I'm picturing, yeah, where the turtle goes to kill.

Where the turtle eats all your dad's fish or stepdad's fish or friend's fish. Can't you picture Post Malone kind of sunning himself on a rock in a terrarium? He'd be happy in there. Maybe if, mm. Okay, Tom. Hello? Hello?

I'm not going to picture that. Okay. He's got so many movies to watch and stuff, like it just doesn't seem like worth the time to for him to picture whenever this guy is on a rock. Kevin, do you have a piece of paper and a pen? Ah, post it. Can I come and grab one? He's basically Post-It Malone. Oh! That was almost cool. The snap. I posted note. Can I come and grab one? He's basically posted in the world. Oh that was almost cool. The snag with the pad was so dope.

I thought these fuckers are really gonna pull it off. I can see why they sent Demi Well You guys can't fuck this up. Tom would be supine on the ground if he fucking threw a pat at him like that. This TwitchCon, I know you went to the one already where Chechich fell down or whatever happened. Yes. But this one, this is the big one.

This one's coming up. It's gonna happen very soon, right? Yes. I'm going in a couple of days. TwitchCon, it's called. A couple of days. Yeah, I'm gonna drive over there. Okay.

In my, not my car. I'm gonna be in the back seat. And are you gonna have your phone on a stick? Lots of people there. phone on a stick? Lots of people there. Phone on a stick? Phone on a stick? Phone on a stick? You're supposed to put your phone on a stick

when you're walking around there to show me what's happening. To show you what's happening. I wanna see. Hi everybody, I'm your TwitchCon. Everybody on my TwitchCon. Yes. Everybody on my TwitchCon, gonna hurt my back.

Can't, one thing I can't do anymore, let me tell you, after I hurt my back, I'll tell you later. That's always a good thing to say when you're streaming is to say that you're gonna tell them stuff later, because then they come back. Well, it keeps them in the stream or at least makes them check back in later.

Then they come back, yeah. That is the, that is the con of Twitch, isn't it? Yes, oh yes, oh yes. What did you draw that, what was that? Something fell down, I could basically hear that over here. That's how loud that is. I didn't even think the mic picked that up. Zoom's pretty good at drowning out background noise now.

And that's really dangerous because just a small trembleor over there could actually ripple and cause a tsunami. Mm mm mm, butterfly effect. Yes. This for me? What's on this post it? Okay.

Somebody wrote, are you mad at me? So I think, Are you mad at me? So I think my theory here is that Kevin keeps it posted a prewritten are you mad at me? I'm realizing I need a prewritten post-it note that says yes to have with me at all times to just show Kevin. Just so he can toss these around like Gambit. Do you want, here?

A pen? Yeah. See how fucking hard it is? Nobody's gonna be able to catch that. It's difficult. Now I know how hard it is cause he's a really good catcher. I am a good catcher.

Oh, for real? Yeah, I had no prior knowledge of your skills, although when I saw you grab the pad, I thought these fuckers were gonna pull this off. I thought, yeah. Can you throw it back? See? So you guys are freedom with like one,

you guys are freedom without one person there. Obviously we don't even need to say which person we're referring to, it's Scott. It's Scott. So that's helping me for sure. Yeah. I could use a couple more reference points. I am really close.

I really wanna like you. I think in terms of like, are we the new shit? I would say we're the old turd. You're the old crap. Oh, he used two hands, but he did snag it. Yeah, he did get it. He used two hands though to catch it. Tom, throw that two hands, but he did snag it. Yeah, he did get it. He used two hands, though, to catch it. Tom, throw that one to me.

Throw it? Kevin, time it at the same time. Mm. That's like. See how far, it's hard, isn't it? The fucking thing. Throwing a pencil, that's like letter man. Tom, you need to throw it.

Less, put less spin on it. Can you throw another one with less spin? Yeah, you got it. All right. Ready? All right, here you go, Damien less spin? Yeah, you got it. All right. Ready? All right, here you go, Damien. Yep. Oh, wow.

I said yeah, but I used two hands. No, B doesn't, but I used two hands. But it's like the Olympics, man. It's just like the Olympics. Tom, do you want to do it? In Australia, they call Post Malone letter man. Tom, catch this. Catch this back, ready?

They send letters at the post. Did you get it? That's not a pen. Go ahead and thank the best. Wow, Debbie. Show them what you threw. Show them what you caught. Show them what I threw to you.

We can't keep doing these little games. This is a chip picker. Chip picker. Yeah, so do you know when you are trying not to get your fingers dirty when you're eating chips? Yes. That's where the chip picker comes in. Okay, so this would be huge,

because then I would get to spend less time in the shower. Which as we've been talking about is like its own issue. It's a fucking death trap, man. I get out of the shower, I have six Pringles, and then I have to get back in the shower again. Again. Again. I have to revise my will to get back in the shower again. Again. Again. Yes, right back in the shower. I have to revise my will before I get in the shower

every time. Yeah, it's dangerous. I may not be coming out. It's dangerous. Or I might be shooting out so fast. You run uphill into the shower. That's a bad design. Immediately fall in the drain.

You're like, well, at least I'm still in the shower. Get out of the drain, shoot right out of there, nearly fall in the toilet. Nearly fall in the drain you're like well at least I'm still in the shower mm-hmm get out of the drain shoot right out of there nearly fall in the tall nearly fall in the tall you nearly fall in the tall yeah don't you don't you now fall in the tall don't fall in the tall how the people from dropout like kill people because they kind of have that vibe or did they are they nice in real life thank okay. So now this is the kind of conversation I want to be having. Yeah, that is the new shit. This, this new crap.

This new crap everybody's watching now. It just feels like they could all, they're all capable of it. Yeah, it's very performatively nice and in like a disturbing way. It's when the, whatever the secret phrase is, when Brendan says it and it basically like- He activates that.

When he activates the rest of the dropout crew and the whole army at home, I mean, we gotta put a stop to this now. We gotta pull the plug on this thing today. It's over, you gotta give it to me. I'm gonna need Post Malone's tank. I'm gonna need Post Malone's tank. To get in there.

You gotta. Drive in there and start fucking. Yes. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Well, yeah, I mean that's the kind of explosion it'll make. That's the next bit, yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, that's the kind of explosion it'll make, you know? We're gonna have to pull the plug, plug it back in,

put our logo on the feed, whatever it is. I don't even know if they have a podcast. They probably have one that they don't even know about. It's dog shit to them. I think, do you think they would, I don't think they would bleed if you cut them. No, but we should find out. I think, I think that if you-

It's definitely a worthy experiment. I basically agree with you, but I think there's enough uncertainty that we need to find out. We will test. Yes. Let's test, because I think that basically, Play-Doh, if you cut their arm

It would be the same pink the whole way through You know me yeah, but play-doh people but we y'all got Gumby down I was just about to bring up Gumby. What do you think is, do you like Gumby better or Pokey? Or are you more of a blockhead fan? Come on. You ain't, you ain't gotta even ask to know that I'm a prickle guy. With your goo loving ass. Bye.

That was a head gum podcast.