Hollywood Handbook - Ellie Kemper, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: November 18, 2013

Sean and Hayes throw back the curtains on the industry by playing a game of Gmail Roulette and prepare listeners for any type of Hollywood meeting during Let’s Do Lunching. Then, ELLIE KEMPER graciously lends us her time as she recalls old Hollywood Game Nights, chooses her favorite sitcom pitches while playing a game of Ellie-Vator Pitch, tells us if it’s nice to be given clothes to act in, and shares how she’s preparing for her upcoming portrayal of Lady Gaga.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, we realize the mistake and we all start losing it. And I go, oh, Sandberg. I thought you said Sandler. And I apologize. It happens to me every time. I know. It happens to me with Sandler.

I'll call him Sandberg. The opposite. Yeah, the opposite as well. I know. It happens to me with Sandler. I'll just call him Sandberg. The opposite. Yeah, the opposite as well. Hollywood Handbook. What up, what up? Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names of the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. I'm Hayes Davenport.

I'm here with Sean Clements. Hi. We are Hollywood industry people, sort of jacks of all trades. Yeah, we defy a clean label, but we absolutely... We reject labels. They're not useful to us. We're working under the new model. But we want to give you guys a peek inside what happens in the real Hollywood. And one of the ways we've decided to do that is to play a little game at the top of this episode we call Gmail Roulette. Gmail Roulette.

This is a game we really love. We figured the best way to really open up, to throw back the curtains on the industry, is to each select a random email. Random being the key word. Yes. Totally random, which is something that I think makes comedy good, and I see it everywhere. So we're just going to scroll through our Gmail and just stop at a random point of some old email we've gotten, and it could be from a family member, or it could be more likely

probably from some kind of A-list Hollywood celeb. So Sean, why don't you go for it here? Let's shuffle through Sean's Gmail. Bink. Oh. Do I have to read this one? You have to do it. You promised you would.

Okay, these are the rules. Remember what we said. I was hoping it wouldn't be something like this. Okay, well, the subject is, did I screw up? It's from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and she says, I feel like things ended weirdly last night. You were being so weird. Did I make you uncomfortable?

You left in such a rush. I hope you didn't misunderstand. It's just that when you agreed to direct an episode of my show, side note, I said maybe, I took that as a signal that you were feeling it. Please, please, please don't take it out on the show. Still come back. When I tried to grab your redacted,

it was a complete accident. Does it say redacted? No, I'm not going to say that word. And by the way, to step out of the email, the word try is being employed rather liberally here. When you reach down, squeeze a big handful of someone's redacted, and your eyes get like friggin' saucers, and you go, oh my god, god so it's true let's get out of here now that is not trying okay that is succeeding in sexual harassment so at any rate

of course i was never going to direct an episode of that show i mean which show which show of hers going to direct an episode of that show. Which show of hers? Well, this is an old email, so it's Watching Ellie. But anyway, of course I'm not going to do that, but just because of my schedule,

obviously this is the kind of email you get after you go to a party where somebody has a few too many cocktails, and the answer is, yeah, you did screw up, Julia, and we haven't, it hasn't been the same quite since. I went to see Enough Said, but Enough Said on that topic. Wow, it makes me a little scared to do mine. Yeah, this was a bad one. This one was loaded.

I hope we just get a very innocuous one. But let's shuffle through. Bing! Let's shuffle through. Bing! Oh, God. This is a... Oh! Fair is fair.

This is a tough one, actually. Ooh! It's from the Crocodile Hunter. Ooh! The subject is THANK YOU. Thank uh all caps and it says uh haze thank you so much for letting me adapt your stage show of the crocodile hunter for television i little side note i used to do kind of a black box stage performance where I would be this character, the Crocodile Hunter.

And it was very like, it was an avant-garde thing. And it was just me on stage, no props, no anything. But for a while, I was getting a lot of attention around town and people wanted to adapt it for TV. And I found there was this guy who was also sort of on the scene who I thought was a really talented actor. And I decided he should take over while I worked on other projects. And he was homeless at that time. He was. And I gave him a chance. And he says here, he says, I'll never forget your generosity. And

I promise to do your vision proud and you just think about like it could have been me you know making all that money that could have been me uh doing that and making so much money and then it says uh also i'm sorry for trying to grab a big handful of your for trying to grab a big handful of your redacted. I thought that you giving me your show meant that you were feeling it. Sometimes a favor is just a favor. It is amazing how often you do just about anything for someone

in this town and they try to grab a big handful. Eyes get like saucers. Eyes get like saucers. And it almost makes you not want to help people out yeah it makes you hesitant it makes you a little more choosy and that also makes me wonder like that's part of the reason for the podcast you can't reach through this microphone and get your mitts on yeah our redacteds and every time someone does something

nice for me i wonder because their eyes kind of get like slits. You know, because it sort of seems like they're expecting me to grab a big handful of their redacted. And then I say, no deal. Deal's off. I'll do it myself. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing them a favor by letting them feel like they can do me a favor ever so let's do our next segment this is um this is my favorite segment we like to prepare you guys

for the kind of meetings you're going to take in this town something i think a lot of people wish they'd had is a little primer on going to a general meeting or what we're going to talk about today, a lunch meeting. There's that feeling of you get these big meetings and then it's like, what now? What do I do now? So many questions. What do I order? Where do I take them? How do I order? Where do I take them? How do I behave? Like how much is too much in terms of kowtowing?

Sure. And so we want to let you know what we did and what everyone who's successful did and take you through sort of step-by-step way. We call this segment Let's Do Lunching. Let's Do Lunching. We call this segment, let's do lunching. Let's do lunching.

I guess we should start with choosing a restaurant. When you're going to do lunching, you need to know where to eat. Mm-hmm. To me, the best restaurants are the most famous restaurants. The really famous ones. And we've explained in the past sort of to people who aren't from the city like what a restaurant is and how it works. It's a place where you sit down and they serve you your food and you don't get it on a tray or anything.

It comes right on a plate. And there are some famous ones out here like the French Palace. Yes, the the French Palace. Yes. The Spotlight Grill. Anything with bistro or grill in the title is going to be good. Madonna's Bistro. Madonna's Bistro.

The Sly Stallone Grill. Mr. Fictioner's Place. That's William Fictioner's. Am I saying that wrong? Fiction. Fictioner. Fictioner. Fictioner. Fictioner. Fictioner. Fictioner. Okay. Do you hear Fichtner's. Am I saying that wrong? Fichtner. Fichtner. Fichtner. Fichtner. Fichtner. Okay. Do you hear the difference? Yes. Do it again. Fichtner. Ficht. Fichtner. Fichtner.

Fichtner. Fichtner. Thank you. Any place that you've heard about on the radio, basically, they're like seen on your, seen on a TV show is the place to go. That's the place to be seen. So now you're pulling up to the restaurant. What, what time should you get there? I think is a relevant question that a lot of people have. So here's the best strategy. You're going to want to not make a reservation, show up late. So the person who you're meeting shows up and can't get a table. Then when you arrive, tell them who you are, you get the table and save the day. And one thing I always do is I get on the phone with the person and I go, okay, we're going to Fichtner.

You've got me doing it now. We're going to Fichtner's place, and I'll make the reservation. Don't you worry. But there's no paper trail. It's on the phone. So then when I get there, I go, you said you were going to make the reservation. And they go, oh, I thought that. And I go, no, you promised me.

And I go, look, I'll take care of it. And I walk up. Now I made a reservation. Which is another thing. Make a reservation. Yes. Do make a reservation. Way in it. And I walk up. Now I made a reservation. Which is another thing. Make a reservation. Yes. Do make a reservation. Way in advance.

So far in advance. You've got to be prepared. Month in advance. And call once or twice a week just to make sure that reservation is still in place. Because sometimes they get lost. But don't make it under your real name. And don't make it under my real name. They'll know you're not me.

So now you've gotten your table you're sitting down you're sitting down uh one thing i like to test when i'm sitting down at the table i like to give it a little push from underneath just to see if it'll flip you know if i can just flip it all the way over because Because some of them, at the Movie's Grill, which is a pretty nice place. Other than this, I do like that restaurant. But their tables are attached to the ground with spikes. And so I like to test for, is this the kind of table that, if it goes south, if the proceedings don't really go as planned, If it goes south, if the proceedings don't really go as planned, I can just huck across the room or just flip. Flip onto the person's lap and spill all the food and the wine on them. Yeah, spill their soup.

So that's one thing you want to test. And so if you suspect that might happen, don't go to the movie grill. Another thing is making conversation. Another thing is making conversation. Confuse the name of the person you're meeting with with the name of the waiter. Call the waiter by your, let's just say, for example, you're sitting down with. James Franco. James Franco.

So the waiter walks away. You go, when is James Franco going to get back here with our drinks? And he goes, I'm James Franco. And you go, no. The waiter's. The waiter's name is James Franco. And he goes, no. And you go, hey, quit having fun with me, Raul. Yeah, your name is Raul.

Yeah, your name's Raul. And he goes, no, the waiter's name is Raul. And do it both ways. Yeah. When the waiter comes back, you do the same thing. and do it both ways. Yeah. When the waiter comes back, you do the same thing.

And what that does is it lets them know, oh, I could be waiting tables tomorrow as far as this guy's concerned. And sometimes they, if you have enough pull in the business, you will be able to convince them that they are actually the waiter. Yeah. I mean, I managed to get Craig T. Nelson to go and get me more bread and we closed the deal too. Uh, but I got a lot of the points that I wanted. And in the same way, you can take a waiter and then maybe make them a star. And then there's someone in your stable. John Heater was, was a guy who I was having lunch with Sandra Bullock and sort of

mixed up their names and convinced him that he was actually the movie star Sandra Bullock. And it just sort of went from there. Imagine how different Napoleon Dynamite would have been if Sandy had done it. So you've got the conversation down. Things are moving nicely. One last question. What do you order? Well, you don't. You never actually see the food at a lunch meeting. You have to leave.

Whether you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you go out the window or whether you straight up tell them this lunch is over. Throw a couple hundos down on the table and leave. Yeah. You can't allow anyone in this town to see you eat. Hayes, can you speak on that a little bit? Food's a known fatty item in this town. People sort of understand that it's mostly fatties who tend to enjoy food.

And so if you want to have a reputation as a non-fatty in this business, it's better not to eat. What I like to do when I sit down at a restaurant is I'll say to the waiter, surprise me. He'll go in the back. They'll whip something up that's intended to really impress me. And then they'll bring it back and I'll say, this isn't really surprising at all. I came into a restaurant, I expected food, and you've brought me some food. Yeah. What would have been surprising would be, say, a scale model Zeppelin. Exactly.

And so if they go and bring you that, all the better. You take that home, put it on your mantle. What an amazing invention the Zeppelin is. But food can be a sign of weakness, can't it? It can. That I need strength from food? Don't I have enough inner strength? And so it's another reason that I just, I don't let anyone see me eat in this town, and you shouldn't either.

And now you've done lunching. How do those Zeppelins stay up in the air? No one knows. I mean, it just doesn't make sense. No, it shouldn't work. It shouldn't fucking work. They're so big. They're huge. I see a Zeppelin

go by, and I'm afraid to ride it. You know, just as part of the business, you have to You gotta be really careful. Just as part of the business, you have to ride in them every once in a while. But every time I'm up there, I can't think about it. You know? No, if I let myself be aware. And so many of our American treasures have been lost in Zeppelin.

Yes. You know, freak Zeppelin accidents, which when something goes wrong, I go, well, of course it did. Of course. We don't know how the damn things work. They're too big to be in the sky. A model one I enjoy, but a real one is too scary.

We'll be right back. We've got a really great guest today. Helen Kemper is here. She's a big rising star. She was in Bridesmaids. She was on the British Office and more recently on the Mimby Project. So it'll be fun to talk to her.

We're coming right up on Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. So I stick my finger into his chest and I poke him and I go, Ving, Rames, if the cupcakes are so damn tasty, you eat them. And I mushed one into his face. And what did he say? He thanked me. Here comes Hayes and Sean.

Hollywood Handbook. What up, what up? Welcome back to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names Red Carpet Linebacker Hallways of this industry we call showbiz. God, we got such a great guest today. Man. We are effing stoked about our great guest today, and I see no reason to pretend otherwise. Helen Kemper is here.

Ellie. Ellie Kemper. Ellie Kemper. Yes, Ellie Kemper is here. Ellie Kemper Ellie Kemper Ellie, yes Ellie Kemper is here Thanks guys for having me Oh, thanks for being here Quick little background, I guess, on

Our relationship with Ellie It's actually apropos, given what She's doing today Well, yes So we, Hayes and I Obviously used to host these famous Sort of Hollywood game nights. We'd play all kinds of match games, other games, no trivia.

And she, I can't remember exactly who her arm candy was at the time. I want to say Jan Michael Vincent. But she and Jan would come. Am I wrong? Yeah, I don't remember that. Maybe just have a different memory of it. Okay. But it doesn't.

But anyway, she and Jan would come and they would just run the table. Yeah. Killer game players. And I guess she now has decided to make that a TV show or take our lives and make a show about it. I think they're doing a separate. I think a lot of people have game nights and they're just doing this kind of on TV. It seems not like ours.

It seemed like a coincidence to me that we would get Jane Lynch in to host our private game night. We would invite one normal person to sort of participate and they would win a lot of our cash. The format seems very similar. It could be a coincidence.

I'm just saying it feels like a big one if that's the case. A normal person like a Common Sense from our forums or anyone like that. Anyone. Yeah, I guess that's so weird. I don't remember. I guess we have different memories of the game nights. Well, you were pretty drunk for a lot of them. Oh, yeah. I guess I was. I guess I was. Are you going game nights. Well, you were pretty drunk for a lot of them. Oh, yeah.

I guess I was. I guess I was. Are you going to bring that energy to the show? See, because you're going from here, from this recording, to participate in a Hollywood game night. Is that right? Your second one. That's exactly right.

To record the second Hollywood game night. Yeah. Are there special incentives built into doing the second one? I guess it's to uh i don't know i mean i guess it's to have even more fun and to win even more games get a lot of the answers right um have a lot of fun with the other contestants on the show um and the winner gives money to charity so it's really for a very good cause oh that's nice yeah do you want to run because it's a big opportunity like, just in terms of getting your name out there and stuff, it's like not something you want to do badly

at. You really want to do well. So you don't sully your name, you mean? Well, because the winner of Hollywood Game Night, you know, they go on to do all this other stuff. Well, if you look at some of the past winners. Oh, yeah. Well, I guess that's right. I mean, some of the past winners have gone on to...

Who won the last episode you were on? The last episode, I was on Minnie Driver at one. Well, and then she was in Good Will Hunting. Yeah. That was a huge role. She did both of those things. I'm not sure of the order of them, but she did both of those things, yeah. Well, it just seems weird that she would be in a movie first.

That doesn't really make sense. Yeah, that order doesn't make yeah. Well, it just seems weird that she would be in a movie first. That doesn't really make sense. Yeah, that order doesn't make sense. Well, let's see. That she would star in a movie and then be on a game show. Yeah, I mean, it's really the new Hollywood Squares because you remember how many careers that lost. Where someone would, a normal person would be on Hollywood Squares and then all of a sudden they'd become Whoopi Goldberg

or a big famous star like that. Yes, Whoopi Goldberg was on that show. She started on Hollywood Squares. Yes. And then all of a sudden they'd become a Whoopi Goldberg or a big famous star like that. Yes, Whoopi Goldberg was on that show. She started on Hollywood Squares and then became Back when she was Karen Johnson

she was on Hollywood Squares. Eddie became Sister Act became all these great Right, from that. Yeah, and so I think that Hollywood Game Nights

sort of the new that the new squares. Right. And launching a lot of careers. Yeah. Is that your advice to someone starting out? To get on game nights? Yes.

Yeah, I think that it's certainly not a bad thing if you want to participate in a game night and, you know, see where that takes you. I certainly don't think it's necessary for anyone aspiring to act or write or perform out there. You don't have to be on a game night. The business is changing, you're saying. It used to be that you did have to get on a game night, but now social media and stuff. Yeah, you think that game night's sort of the old way of breaking into the industry,

and your opinion is mainly that Twitter... Yeah, I'll definitely say you don't have to be on a game night in order to make it in this industry. Because of Twitter, yeah. Well, yeah, and Twitter helps. What do you do? Yeah, I'll definitely say you don't have to be on a game night in order to make it in this industry. Because of Twitter, yeah. Well, yeah, and Twitter helps. What do you do? I've heard when you're playing Hollywood game night, sometimes Dennis Haysbert, when he plays Pictionary, will get up to the easel and draw some very vulgar things on the easel. he'll be like do you like my drawing ellie right what do you think of my drawing and it's something very disgusting and gross and

graphic like how do you handle when he when he does that kind of thing i haven't i haven't played with him oh you've never played with one of my game nights my game nights. So who drew vulgar drawings when you were there? Stellan Skarsgård, I've heard, will also do that from time to time. Yeah, I haven't played with... With Stellan as much? No, not as much. I don't know if... I've really just gone to one, and one game night.

And let's see. No, it was pretty... The one I was at was pretty tame, so I didn't, there weren't too many vulgar drawings. I don't know if you guys, you must have had more experience with Pictionary that's kind of lewd. At our night, yeah, there were people drawing some F-ing and S-ing

between different guests at the party, and we ultimately had to have sort of a come-to-Jesus meeting about it with Haysbert. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Did you have, did you stop inviting him or was it,

I mean. Yeah, we stopped inviting Dennis Haysbert to our, to our game nights. Forget it. No way. It's not like,

there's no way we could. No, he brings a lot of positive stuff to the table. Absolutely. But Hays roughed him up a little bit. I did have to beat him up. Yes.

Yeah. So, we, I guess, wanted to play a game. Yeah, we did want to play a little game with real-world ramifications. It's not just a game. This is going to be very fun for us because we so frequently are on the other side of this. You know, it's been so long since we've had to pitch a show, but we're always stuck in an elevator. Yes.

And some noob gets on and starts laying out his great idea for a screenplay or his great TV show. So we wanted to do a game we call Elevator Pitch, where Hayes and I will pitch you a sitcom idea for what your next vehicle will be. And then you say, I guess, how good they are and why. And then which one you would prefer to be in between our two. So a little bit of competition, a little bit of a game night, if you will. And I'm the judge. I'm the network president.

I get to decide what goes. You're the network president and you're the judge. I'm the network president. I get to decide what goes. You're the network president and you're the star. But also thinking, you know, as you look for your own opportunities in the future, think about you as an actress, as a performer, like what the good next step for you would be. Okay, that's great. Okay, so I guess round one. Yep. Ding, ding, ding.

I'll go first. Go ahead. So, a moon man gets mad at his dad. He punches his dad so hard he falls back down to Earth. On Earth, the dad falls in love with and marries a female NASA jet driver. Now, he has to decide whether to live with her on Earth or hitch a ride back to the moon to beat up his kid. Oh, and I guess I should do mine. Oh, wait.

All right. You're a captain on a ship, like an old ship, not like one of these new, like, big container ships, like an old ship with sails. Oh, like a sail. Okay. container ships like an old ship with sails oh like a sail okay and you find a stowaway and it's your mom and you're making a trip across the ocean and now you have to deal with managing the ship and all your crew and but also taking care of your mom okay um uh guys first thing those are both really great pitches I appreciate that you're

even being considered for either of those and I just want to say that it's not binding us pitching this in here is not like if you say you want to do it we still do have the option to take it out to other just look at who's just to see what's out there

and it might be you and very well could be you and we think you've got a great energy oh so you're kind of okay so you're protecting yourself i mean i thought for a second my agreement or non-agreement was not binding but you're saying you're we're saying you're not just the fact that we're offering it to you in this setting sure if you say you want to do it we still have the option to say you would have to do it at that point. Yours is binding. Oh, I, okay. If you say you want to do it, but we still have the option to explore

other... No, of course. Yeah. Sean, I'm a NASA what driver? Was it a... NASA jet driver. NASA jet driver. And is that space or is that on the ground? Yeah, you drive your jet driver and is that is that space or is that on the ground

yeah you drive your jet back and forth to the moon from for the NASA company what I really like about both of these pitches is that they feature really powerful women

I think that's really important yes that was important that's important to us too yeah and you know women who behave like adults I think that's good to see on television

a good role model for younger girls. And between the two, I guess I'm leaning towards the boat, the ship pitch. Mistake. Well, I love mother-daughter relationships. I think there's a lot to explore there.

Is it current day? No, it's in olden times oh when like pilgrims or just a really long time ago old time okay i think i'm gonna have to go with um with the with the ship okay okay that's okay that's just round one oh that's just round one that's just round i'm sorry for taking so long on that. Okay. Ding, ding, ding. Round two. Oh.

A single mom who's a spy loses her spy job and has to move back in with her dad, Hitler's ghost. Oh. He's nice, but his boss is mean. He's nice, but his boss is mean. The mom uses her spy powers every episode to embarrass the boss. Mine's sort of a title concept pitch. Our engineer just left. What do we do about this?

We have this problem sometimes where our engineer will just get up and leave. Gets up and walks out. And never come back. As if he's not working for us. Yeah. And it's kind of like, this is a huge fucking opportunity. But I can already feel myself already. I'm getting furious. Oh, I'm fuming mad.

I am steaming hot, boy. Anyway, my pitch is, it's called Pregnant Forever. Anyway, my pitch is, it's called Pregnant Forever. And it's basically this woman who finds out that she is having a baby, but she's never going to actually deliver it. She's just going to be pregnant for her whole life. And so she has to kind of manage, like, can she have it all? Like, can she be pregnant and at the same time have a good relationship? Can she meet guys and succeed in the workplace?

But she's never not going to be pregnant. Is she always at full term? Is she always nine months pregnant? Yes, she's always nine and a half months pregnant. The baby is like, it's the kind of time where you're like, oh, well, babies do by now. Right. Things like that. It's not my pitch, but I'd like to say that well, the babies do by now. Right. Things like that. It's not my pitch,

but I'd like to say that's probably a great opportunity for some physical comedy. Sure. Yeah. I'm jealous of that aspect. Yeah. Um, I don't know.

I'm worried about, I don't just on a purely selfish level. I'm worried about wearing a prosthetic. Oh, that's, uh, thank you for bringing that up. It's not a prosthetic. Oh, uh whole time? Thank you for bringing that up. It's not prosthetic.

If you were to participate in this, you'd have to go through a couple of procedures. They're not super invasive or anything, but that would become... And they're mostly reversible, is that correct? A couple of them are reversible, yes. Okay, and this is but in Sean's show I have spy powers

yeah you're using the spy powers to embarrass your dad's mean boss and my dad is Hitler's ghost or no no no yeah that's what you realize when you move back in but he's nice he's being nice I mean he's learned some lessons.

Yeah. Again, purely selfish level because I like balance in life. I would be worried about the procedures that would have to be done in order to play pregnant forever. So I think I'm going to go with Sean's on this one. Ooh, okay. So it's all tied up. Yeah, I guess it's one to one.

Yeah. Well, we're it's one-to-one. Yeah. Well, we're both great. I like that as an ending. That's a nice way to end it for us, yeah. Cody's back. I don't think we should say anything about it. Let's just not deal with it now because I don't think I can come back down. I know what you mean.

Like, he knows what he did, and we just let it simmer, and we don't. Yeah, I mean, if he can figure it out for himself, that's going to be more powerful. That's going to stay with him longer. He's trying to ruin the show. You know? Like if we indulge him. Don't give him the satisfaction. Yeah.

What did I do? Get off the mic. Until now, you, all you did was just get up and wander out of the room when your job is to make sure ellie could you tell cody how that made you feel i thought it was fine i i assumed he needed to use the restroom yeah but i but i guess i don't know i guess did you they were saying maybe you've done that before did you feel like the sound levels were okay the whole time because to me they were flying all over the place oh see i thought they were i, they were flying all over the place.

Oh, see, I thought they were fine. Out of control. We were fluctuating from... Out of control. We were spiking a lot. We spiked many times. Spiked a few times, and we also hit the basement. We hit zero.

Yeah, we hit zero many, many times. Do you mean peak? I just picture it all as a sort of mountainscape, so... Like a spiky mountain. Like a spiky mountain. Like a spiky mountainscape. You don't talk about peaks when you talk about mountains. No, you talk about the top of the mountains, the spike part. Oh, clip then.

You meant clip. You know what? If you think you can impress me by using engineer terms, when your professionalism is clipping or is hitting zero and not peaking, then you're going to have to try a new strategy because that's not good. I think something that would really calm me down right now is dipping into the popcorn gallery.

Let's get in there. Ooh, buttery. We've solicited some questions from some of our fans for you. They have some specific questions for you, and this is just a nice way for them to... Normally, they don't have that level of contact with you because you... Like all celebrities, you sort of close yourself off,

and you don't really like to engage with those people unless it's on a Hollywood game night. Well, yeah. No, go ahead. Well, yeah. Okay. No, go ahead. No, no, no. Yeah, I think. So you agree with that?

Yeah. This question is from Valerie Bryant. Oh. Is it fun to be you, Ellie? Oh, is it fun to be me? Mm-hmm. I guess sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's not. Speak on that um i think

like anyone else it's sometimes you're in a good mood and you're feeling like you enjoy things about yourself in your life and then on other days you feel annoyed about things or in a bad mood about things like at engineer cody yeah well yeah i think that everything went okay when when he left. Yeah, but you were pretty annoyed. Some days you feel like everything's going okay and then somebody that you trust will betray you and leave his post for like half an hour.

I think it was just like five minutes. You're trying to create something. I timed it to 45 minutes. Oh. Should we reach back into the popcorn gallery? Sure. Yeah. Salty, too.

This question is from Hunter. Oh. Ellie. Yeah. When they give you clothes to do acting in, is that nice? It's so nice, because who doesn't like having clothes and pretending that you're someone else sure yeah speak on that well i guess it's like playing dress up i don't know if you guys did that when you were kids but it's kind of it's nice to have someone also i'm not a good shopper

so it's nice to have someone else who's who's designed the outfit and thought about it and and gotten it and it's and you get to thought about it and gotten it, and you get to wear it. It's a lot of fun. You're not a good shopper. Speak on that. Oh, speak on not being a good shopper. I guess it's I get overwhelmed by all the choices sometimes,

and I don't like lines. Oh, do you want to speak on not liking lines? I don't know what to say. I don't like standing in line. i don't know many people who do yeah it takes too long yeah can i ask you so you like it when the wardrobe person whose job it is to provide clothes for you is helping you out with that kind of thing what if they you were half dressed and then they just left the room. Would you feel like they were doing a good job at their job,

or would you feel like they were pulling an engineer Cody? You know, I have a feeling if that were to happen, there was a good reason for that happening. They maybe had to use the restroom or had to take a call or would be right back. But then you would essentially have to do the show in the nude at that point. Oh, I don't know if I would have to go on. Sort of the equivalent of. Well, we know that film sets run on a tight schedule and time-wise,

you just can't go to the restroom or take phone calls whenever you want because they're losing daylight. I guess there's always time for small things that need to be taken care of. I don't know that anything's that pressing that you can't use the restroom. Would that that were true, yeah. Well, I think it can be true. You can always edit stuff later also. And if they were gone for 45

minutes, then that would really be something. I think, yeah, five minutes he was gone. Do we have any more from the popcorn gallery? Yeah, I think we have another question. Oh, good. This one's from Octodactypus. Oh, I have to reach in first.

Sorry, let me reach in. Our Sour Patch Kid. This one's from Octodactypus. Ellie, we all know that you make a large chunk of your personal income from sponsored tweets. Are you going to branch out into Vine? Or, as you stated in an earlier interview with Salon, is that still just something poor people do when they want to be obnoxious? I'm not sure of that question. I haven't joined Twitter yet, so I don't know if...

You pay someone to do your tweets? No, I don't have a Twitter account, so I don't know. Do you think, was that a question for someone else? Dr. Doctopus historically has been pretty accurate with his questions. Yeah, he does a lot of research first, unlike some of our other question askers. Now, had you maybe had a glass of champagne, started a Twitter account, forgot? Because that's kind of what your mailman told us happened. You're my mailman?

Oh, wow. No, I don't really like champagne that much, so I don't think I started a Twitter account when I was drunk. Well, you seem to like it a lot on Hollywood game night. Well, again, I had one glass of champagne the whole night, and the camera kept showing me with one glass of champagne. Which might prompt some people to think that I was drinking the entire time when really... Now, when you say one glass, do you just mean that you never changed glasses,

but that you did keep refilling the liquid in one glass? Do you mean one glass with a lot of different champagne in it? No, I mean one glass of champagne for the entire show. Okay. And not as some people thought you just now, multiple glasses. A letter carrier is a government employee, so a certain amount of... She could lose her job. She could lose her job for any number of reasons, but I,

because she had an opinion about my performance on Hollywood game night is, I don't know. She's free to think what she wants, I guess, but she happened to be wrong. You've got something exciting coming up, Ellie. Yes.

Uh, you, uh, this year, this coming year, 2014 have been selected as one of the 12 actresses who portrays Lady Gaga for a month out of the year. Everyone knows she is a creation, a Hollywood creation, and every month someone new is Lady Gaga. Right. So do you have anything special planned?

Do you have any song ideas or outfit ideas? I'm going to need some help. My month isn't coming up until May, so I have some time. That's a very good Gaga month. Great Gaga month. I think so. Congratulations. Thank you.

I feel like the May performers have always done a good job. Look, I won't lie. I'm really nervous. It's a big job. I'll need some help with the songs, for sure. I'm hoping we do something in the vein of Madonna, which other Gaga performers have done. Yes. Look, I'm worried.

I feel like I may have to lose some weight to pull out some of those outfits. Now, now. No, no, no. I'm not fishing for compliments. Now, now. No, I'm not fishing for compliments. Now, now. No, I'm not fishing for compliments. I just, you know, in order to wear the stuff she wears, you have to be sort of a blank canvas. And so, you know, I'm excited and nervous at the same time, if that's possible.

So she's worn dresses made out of meat. Sure. Made out of Kermit puppets. Yeah. What stupid thing do you want to make a dress out of? Oh. It's hard to come up with something that wouldn't offend someone, you know? That's true.

I think it would be fun to be in something made of just something very floral. Okay. That's a nice idea. Right. Yeah, I think so. That's pleasant. Yeah. Just an actual petal.

Like a maxi. Like a maxi dress? A floral maxi? A maxi dress of actual floral, you know, roses and tulips and- Lily pads. Lily pads, sunflowers. What else? What other kinds of flowers?

If there's lily pads, maybe there's a live salamander living in your dress. Yeah, I think that could be fun. Yeah, that could be cool. Like a dandelion. Who else is donning the Gaga mask? Oh, yeah. Who you're following and who you're weeding into. Who was doing it at some point?

Who else? Who was the person doing it? I think Mila Jovovich, I heard. Was, yeah. Tig Notaro, I think, is doing it at some point. Who else? Who was the person? I think Mila Jovovich, I heard. Tig Notaro, I think, is doing it. They don't necessarily tell the performers who else is doing it because I don't think they want anyone to get too competitive. Because they didn't get the best month. But now we've told everyone who's doing it. But it's not always a woman, as you know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Michael J. Fox did it last December. Yeah, he did great. Not for me, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's very talented. Who has been your favorite? My favorite Gaga so far?

Ooh, don't make me pick. No, but if you had to choose, if you had to. Who's yours? I guess George H.W. Bush. Oh, wow. He was good. I thought it was really funny. When Brian Williams did it, I thought it was just so fun

because he's just a news guy, but he's actually really funny. He was too game for me. He was almost too game. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that George H.W. Bush didn't want to do it was interesting. Yeah, sort of the reluctance made it more

entertaining. Yeah, right, right, right. I thought Beyonce was a good Gaga. She was good. Yeah. She actually pulled it off, yeah. Yeah. She pulled it off. I thought she might try to sabotage it in some way, you know? Right.

Out of jealousy. That would certainly make sense for her. Yeah. Yeah. But she actually did one of the finest performances I've seen, so. I don't know. I'm excited. I'm excited.

I have some time to prepare, so we'll see. We'll see what I come up with. We're excited to see it. Thank you. Thank you. Well, Ellie, we know you have a game night to get to. Yeah. Just to be clear, this is only my second game night. Again, just to anyone listening, you don't have to do a game night in your career ever.

I just don't want people to feel eyes of Twitter. Is there an example of you being worried about, do you hear sort of the footsteps behind you of other people who are trying to break into the industry and maybe take your spot? Oh, wow. I have to be honest, that didn't occur to me. I don't think I'm worried about other people

coming to game night and overshadowing. But you don't feel like maybe there's not enough to go around? I feel like there is a lot to go around. Okay. I mean, there's a limit, but I don't think Game Night... What I'm trying to say is I don't think Game Night is the only window in. What Keenan said... Door in.

When Keenan came in here, his phrase was, there are only eight spots on the couch. And when you get one of those spots you fight to the death to keep that spot you don't necessarily want to get up right you don't get up even if you maybe have to go to the bathroom sure or maybe you want to take a phone call you kind of keep your spot on the couch because it's very easy to find someone who wants that spot on the couch, Engineer Cody. Well, yeah. He wasn't gone that long.

So in summation, Hollywood Game Night. Game Night is a great way to do it. If you don't want to do that, Ellie's saying you can maybe do a murder mystery party or something else. And so that's her opinion. And the industry's changing. Sometimes you can do a murder mystery party instead or maybe some LARPing. The industry's changing. Okay.

There's lots of ways. There's lots of ways. Yeah, we've named three. So thanks for listening. Please rate us on iTunes. Get on the forums. And buy the pro version. Buy the pro version.

Yes. A lot of, there's a lot of great And buy the pro version. Buy the pro version, yes. There's a lot of great stuff in the pro version. And our prize this week, the Narnold bought the pro version last week, and he gets to be our new engineer. We decided if things got out of control with our last engineer, the person who bought the pro version would get to step in. Yeah, the Narnold's going to step in, and then if you buy the pro version would get to step in. Yeah, the Narnald's going to step in. And then if you buy the pro version this week,

we might be able to pull some strings and get a Lady Gaga song dedicated to you next May. Wink, wink. Right, I get it. Right. So Ellie, as Lady Gaga, will perform a hit single about you. And if you want to sing just a couple notes. Of the song now. Like, for example, Erica Thompson is one of our fans.

I think she would. Erica, yeah. And it's the song to Erica. It's personalized. Yes. Yeah, it's also about her. Right. Oh, guys, that's a big...

So just come up with the two lines of song. So it's like maybe a Madonna beat to it. Yeah, like a Madonna beat. Yeah, so it's... And Erica, is there just something you could tell me about Erica so I know? I think she has dark hair. Dark hair. Does she have like a nose piercing maybe? I don't know lip ring i don't know something alt she's so she's alt so i

guess it's just like uh she likes podcasts oh oh okay so um erica with your dog hair and your and your earring and your old self Erica, Erica, Erica is that's just but you guys have to keep in mind that I just came up with that as we're sitting here.

Sounds finished. You're being nice. No. Sometimes I also sometimes I pretend that I'm like just coming up with something uh so it'll seem so it'll seem like really amazing that i came up with it off the cuff but really you know you think that i came up with that i'm in the lab for yeah yeah and people say like there's no way that you could have just come up with that like in conversations

yeah oh i did just come up with that because remember in conversations you do that? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, I did just come up with that because remember I don't know who Erica is. Yeah. Right. So if you're... Well, the forums are public information.

I mean, you could have easily gone on the forums. But I didn't know you were going to ask specifically about Erica. Right, but you could have done one for everyone. Like everyone who's

posted on the forums. There's like hundreds and thousands of people on the forums. So I didn't memorize every single person. That's very accurate characterization of our forums, yeah. Bye!

Bye! Bye! This has been an Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com.