Hollywood Handbook - Flula Borg, Our Format Friend
Episode Date: November 12, 2018FLULA BORG joins The Boys to make some new shows.This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron ( www.blueapron.com/HANDBOOK ), hims ( www.forhims.com/THEBOYS ), and Simple Contacts ( www.simplecont...acts.com/THEBOYS20 Â code: THEBOYS20).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So, I was in there with like, we're locked in overnight.
Yes.
But it's, I'm with Hasan Minhaj and Diane Keaton. And we're sliding down the fire pole.
We're getting on the truck and we're beeping the horn.
Walking.
Yes, yes.
We are locked in the fire station overnight.
And we're just playing.
We're blasting each other with the extinguishers.
And then we're rolling around in the foam and all this stuff. And it starts to be almost sunrise.
And we know that the firemen are going to come in and spoil our fun.
Oh, okay.
So not a school-certified event.
No.
Hassan's friend's uncle's dad had a buddy who used to work with one of the firemen's sister's kid.
Okay. And they had made this bet.
Okay. and they had made this bet okay and I guess
if Hassan's
friend's
uncle's dad
won the bet
we got to stay in the fire station overnight
and do whatever and not clean up
oh okay but now
the sun is coming up and now the fire
and it's almost over yeah and we don't want it to be over and diane is like not crying but that
doing that thing where you can tell she's about to cry yeah because like her fun is getting taken
away and i finally just like go you you know what, guys?
Let's barricade ourselves inside here.
Yeah.
And I saw us going, well, there's no food in here.
Also, there could be a fire.
They would need the trucks and the equipment.
Diane slaps him, like slaps him hard, like his head snaps around and that little like spit line comes out.
And he was like what
was i saying yeah yeah he's just like yeah sorry sorry uh sorry um because he's not like a i mean
if you know his comedy you know how there's like battle rappers act there's battle rappers and
there's uh studio rappers yeah there's also like Twitter beef comics and like studio comics who just craft their stuff.
Yeah.
Which is Hasan.
Hasan is not like a beef comic.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He's like, you know, in the studio, in the lab with a pen and a pad.
But so anyway, he doesn't want to he doesn't want to
get into it with diane i mean will she be addressed in his next special oh diane is pure beef yeah
she's looking to snap on you she loves the roasts i mean if you've ever watched a roast with Diane, she actually is doing way nastier, meaner shit.
And I'm happy that she hasn't been on because, honestly, I don't think America can handle it.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Button, Dropping Names, and the Red Carpet Linebacker.
Always in this industry we call showbiz.
We have...
What up, what up?
Flula.
We got Flula.
Borg. Hello to you guys oh my gosh
oh hi you're uh you're doing earwolf show yes i'm very excited you did another show before
comedy bang bang yes cpp just like the oil okay well that's the kind of oil? Yeah. Okay. CBB oil. CBB oil. Okay.
And in the same way as CBD oil does, it kind of puts people, it has the same kind of effect.
Comedy Bang Bang is my painkiller.
I stop taking any kind of drugs or anything if I ever have an ache or a pain.
I just throw on a Comedy Bang Bang episode and i let the kid detectives just sort of soothe
my uh aching joints no psychoactive effects not no no just kind of calms your body down they say
no psychoactive effects but do you ever feel like you're tripping out when you're listening to some
of this hainan man stuff minute seven right that's the one where it really kicks in.
Yes, and then it goes.
Oh, yeah.
I am just blasted away on that one.
Are you guys getting wealthy from the CPP residuals?
So, yes, we do have a deal.
That's something we discussed with Scott a little bit.
Yes.
We did two episodes, right?
Is that it?
Two episodes in five years of knowing Scott.
Yeah.
And the way it works out is he,
we make like per listen a dollar from those episodes.
Yeah.
And he of course takes $5 per listen of every one of our episodes.
Yeah.
That's ever been done.
Yeah.
Yes. Yes. The pyramid. Yes. that has ever been done. Yeah, pyramid.
Yes.
Yes, the pyramid.
Yes, he drew it for us.
Yeah. Yeah.
And if we get people to do podcasts, which I was actually going to say, looking at you.
Yes.
You would do an amazing podcast.
Oh, I have one.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, you have one?
Yes, I have one.
No, but here.
Oh, so I should move my podcast.
Yeah, you have to do it here.
I like pyramids.
You've got to get in here.
Am I on the grounding floor?
Yeah, it's absolutely an opportunity for you.
And then if you're able to bring in three other podcasts.
Oh, my God.
Do you know three other podcasts?
I do, yes, yes.
Wait, wait, and then tell me.
And then what is the heck with Maren Mock?
And then there's one about the weather. You listen to a weather podcast.
You could bring the weather one here.
Would you like that?
That's just the kind of stuff we've been trying to do.
It's a niche.
You're missing.
You're missing.
Yeah.
Missing niches.
No one is addressing that.
I,
I listen.
I,
I know of one that is every two weeks.
Yeah.
It's a fortnight and it should be more a weather podcast.
I think should be on more and also i don't i'm
often not caught up also i like weather retrospectives you'd like to say what occurred
what was the temperature in two weeks it's a nice it can be a nice memory it's daunting when i have
them stacked up because the one i think i listen to the same one and it's it's three and a half
hours long yes yes and so i just go like i I'm going to get into this. Like I have so many that it's hard to even start one.
And I'm a completist.
I can't not do it.
I cannot do that.
Well, I would say if you need to skip, skip to the Connie Nebraska episode.
It's really good.
Yes.
The fact that it's a different location every time.
It's never LA.
I'm waiting for them to get to where it is.
Just hold your bones.
Yeah.
But it's like Damon and Kimmel, right?
I'm wondering if it's like an ongoing joke. How did it begin? Is it real? Yes. bones. Yeah, but it's like Damon and Kimmel, right? I'm wondering if it's like an ongoing joke.
How did it begin?
Is it real?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, ponytail China movie.
Yes.
Right.
Yes.
Yes.
Flula, you are from Germany.
That is correct.
Yes, you have a, I give to you a point.
Yes.
People who are listening are like, what the heck?
It's like, well, that is.
Is he talking, making fun of me?
Yes.
People are saying.
Everyone in Dusseldorf is offended.
Yes.
Yeah, that specifically, you should say, is like the Dusseldorf accent.
The one that you're doing.
Mine is now...
No, it is living in Nuremberg and then spending four days in Los Angeles,
Trutthals, South America.
Oh, okay.
You've been here four days.
Well, yeah.
Well, welcome. Thank you very much. Yeah, hello.thuis, South America. Oh, okay. You've been here four days. Well, yeah. Well, welcome.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
Hello.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hello.
I'm so happy to be here with your Hollywood and your books.
This is Engineer Jordan.
Hello, Jordan.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you doing?
I'm so good, Jordan.
Yeah.
We discussed shoes earlier.
I'm very excited.
Yes, we did discuss shoes.
Yeah.
And this is Chef Kevin, our producer.
Chef Kevin? Yeah, Chef Kevin.
Hi, Kevin. Hey.
What does Kevin cook? Knockwurst,
right? Oh,
we will discuss later some of those things.
Yeah, mustard.
It's part of a Blue Apron
promotion. This is when you start doing
the podcast here. Oh, it's all
at Blue Apron. When you bring your weather friends. Yes, you'll get the opportunity to do all's all blue apron. When you bring your weather friends.
Yes, you'll get the opportunity to do all kinds of fun ads.
And you can make them fun.
Don't go crazy.
Okay.
But you can feel yourself a little bit.
Say you use the product.
Say you use the product.
Okay, yes.
Whether you do or not,
don't try to make it feel like something people would listen to.
What do you do?
Because that will get you in trouble, I think.
People know.
They know, oh, it's a lie.
It's a fib.
Yeah, they know that you're lying, and they want you to.
Oh.
Now, you brought up Dusseldorf, and I just can't stop thinking about there was a song called Morph Morph Dusseldorf.
In your head or like was it
released it's a song it was it was by this band the disco biscuits that we all love the disco
biscuits sure you love them but you don't know morph morph dusseldorf well i can tell you they
are a jam band and so with jam bands there are no real titles but i can tell you the drummer does
not wear shoes and when i saw them in the concert, I was making a pee-pee.
And he walked next to me into the toilet place with no shoes and no socks.
No shoes, no socks, but plenty of service, if you know what I mean.
I'm referring to his penis.
Wow, you were really lasered in on him through this whole experience, it sounds like.
Well, he is a large strange man and if you do not wear shoes and socks into a nasty bathroom in carborough north carolina
at the cat's cradle perhaps check your short records tetanus so you oh you can get tetanus
from that i don't know can you uh rust and urine i guess in combination yeah you are if you are
if you are still exposed
and you turn
and the wall
that is separate you
and the other urinal
is rusty
well I can't be the only one
who at times
finishes
a strenuous pee
looks down
and sees a nail
in the toilet
see
this is when
I you know
I know in America
not everyone is circumcised
but in this moment
you are very happy
to not be circumcised
right because the thing could get yes yeah it can protect you gets oh okay so it could get snagged
on there but it's like a shield well it's a helmet it's it's like imagine the romans if they
attacked sparta with no helmets right that's the an uncircumc. Using a urinal with a nail in it is kind of the equivalent of storming Sparta.
Without foreskin, yes.
Yes.
Fascinating.
You like jam bands?
You follow jam bands?
I don't follow them so much.
I did go to a Pahish concert with my friend Jacob Cohen some years ago.
They ended the song on the trampolines,
and I didn't understand why you're on the trampolines.
It's music, you know?
Right, yeah.
Were they bouncing around the room?
No, they were just on the small trampoline for the children.
Yeah.
And they're just up and down, up and down, up and down.
And I'm like, who are you, Carrie and Kippy Strug?
I want to hear some hot music, not some bouncing.
Right, yeah.
It seems like it would battle the good guitar playing.
This is a great segue, I think, to what we want to do with you.
Please.
Well, I never got to ask it.
Is Morf Morf Dusseldorf a real guy?
Oh, so to rewind, is this a man or a band?
Or who is this?
Oh, it's the song by the Disco Biscuits.
And they say, Morf Morf Dusseldorf.
Change it all the time.
Yeah, so I don't know.
Oh, I get it.
Because Morf is like Martin Morf in power.
Well, I'm asking asking you but it could be
a guy who is changing is it a guy yeah so i have not met this morph uh and i have only been to
dĂĽsseldorf two times so i all right i'm not okay if you met him it sounds like a guy who if you had
met him you might not know because he is changing all the time you might have met him both times
you went and not even realize it was the same guy oh it's same man again oh it's exactly
who knows
who can know it
it's like
have you seen the film
with Val Kilmer
where he plays
all the different people
he's like
I'm a powder man
I'm a ninja man
I'm a biscuit
you know
yeah I've seen that
it's Val Kilmer
yeah
what is it
Salt and Sea
something like this
yeah
it's pretty good
yeah
he plays a biscuit
I'm a biscuit
I think I said that
because the band
was called Disco Biscuit yes okay I thought it might be a coincidence I love a biscuit I think I said that because the band was called
Disco Biscuit
yes
okay I thought
it might be a coincidence
I love that you admit that
I didn't
yeah
I'm sorry
a lot of people
would try to pretend
like no he is a biscuit
but to just say
hey look
I just heard something
and then I said it
I said it
yeah
but so freeing
that's what we do
yeah
you know
we all live in Zipopolis
oh yeah
that's another podcast.
It is.
Very successful one.
Yeah.
Sleigh King.
We wanted to do something for money with you, in addition to this, which is also for money.
Yes, I love dollars.
Euros.
So, in television, you do American TV show, but you you start to think about a new show yes
and then you say what if we just took a show that is happening already yes somewhere else
nobody knows about it here yeah and we take that show and we make that this is my idea but we've
seen it already yes and that is called a format oh and so you take these formats from other every format
really just means tv show that happened already yes uh the office is a format well and and and
welcome to sweden yes welcome to sweden welcome to sweden oh no what is that sister show greg
poor come on greg greg amy's older brother, Greg. Maybe younger. Yes, I do remember.
It's from Helsinki.
Yeah.
Yes.
That is a different place, but good for you to admit that as well.
And I believe Helsinki, Sweden is a joke that they make in the movie Die Hard.
See, you know it.
My favorite film of all time.
Oh, so that's what you were referencing.
I was referencing Hans Gruber as he's falling from the... They undo the watch and he's falling and then he does a knock knock
joke you cannot hear it because of the screams oh on his way down it's a helsinki knock knock joke
yeah oh okay yeah uh do you want to do the whole thing well if you are providing the screams i will
tell the joke yes okay he does a scream kind of like... Knock, knock.
Oh, I don't understand.
Oh, you're stinky.
Oh, I'm stinky.
There's a middle part of the knock, knock joke that I am not familiar with.
He says, I don't understand.
Yeah, how stinky he says.
I really like this.
Because knock, knock jokes to me have gotten stale, huh?
I agree with that.
The format is so predictable
back and forth i don't understand the idea of subverting it and having the person on the other
side of the knock knock to be like wait a minute thank you press pause on this knocking yeah that
actually is really innovative yeah i've actually i am writing a jokey book. Because all of the jokies have
been told and so I want to just re-examine
it, you know? Yeah.
Let's get in there with a freaking microscope
and just tweezer and take it apart.
Nano, micron.
You can make really big bucks
on a really
jokey book. Oh, dude.
That's the big money.
Just for, yeah, and for people to impress our friends
at work oh at play yes yeah and the other dads all the daddies and the mummies yeah you said formats
yes formats thank you of course uh welcome to sweden as a format oh very good uh and so what
you want to what we're going to do is take some of these shows, like these German shows.
Can I make a little joke?
Please.
Unfortunately, some of the formats that have been coming over feel a little more like three
mats or even two mats.
Oh.
We want full formats.
We want the whole shebang.
So when you tell us about the show, we're going to ask you,
what are some big,
you know,
German shows?
Yeah.
If we,
if we get a 10 mat,
we all don't have to do this anymore,
which I think we could agree would be preferable.
I'm going to give,
I agree.
I'm going to give you guys a fear mat and fear is the German number for four.
Yes.
Yes.
But it is also a fear,
fear mat,
because it is a format from Germany, but it's also involving a scary time. Oh. Yes. But it is also a fear, fear mat, because it is a format from Germany, but it's also involving a scary time.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
Wow.
Scary format.
So fear squared mat.
Yes.
And you don't ever have to tell me what the German number for four is.
If you think I can't count to ten in German, you're out of your damn mind.
It's not for you.
It's for those three listeners.
Yes. In Ames, Iowa. We are talking to
you. Yes, college town.
Yes. Education.
So what's
a scary format we love?
Is there a camp element at all?
How do you mean camp?
Are they
going to camp and are they like, yeah. So are they going to camp?
And are they also being kind of like funny about some of the scariness?
Well, as you know, in America, you always are taking the format Firmat and making a strange addition.
So if you would like to insert flutes into the format, please Firmat, you may do it.
Well, tell us about this show, this scary show.
Well, as a seventh, I was a child, as a seven years old.
There's LindenstraĂźe, which is called Linden Street.
Yeah.
Which is just a soap opera, as you say, a soapy opera.
But then before this, on the local, we have a channel three,
and the three channel is everywhere in Germany, but it is regional.
It's everywhere.
But regional.
And yet it is regional.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Like HR3, SVH here it's all very like
are you from southwest germany since this is your channel you know ah yeah and so in mind we had a
phara and this was phara schmidt and a phara is a man from the what you call a man from the church
with the stripes and the bible and speaking oh referee yes so he's a referee schmidt and so he
in the morning time of sundays before lindenstra, he always was giving like a way to, how to remember your week, boys and girls.
How to remember your week.
How to remember your week.
Well, he was telling people how to prepare for the week.
You know, like Stephen Covey with the seven habits.
Yes.
But not habits.
It was mostly like, remember Jesus is here.
Right. The seven habits are for the nuns. Yes. Those nuns always not sharpening the blade. Yes But not habits It was mostly like Remember Jesus is here Right
The seven habits
Are for the nuns
Yes
Those nuns
Always not sharpening the blade
Yes
The seventh habit
Sharpening
The saw
It's a saw
Sharpening the saw
Yeah
And then the first habit
Is put things
First things first
Yes
Right
First habit is
Put things first
Put first things first seven is sharpening
the saw it's a blade or the saw the blade of the saw it depending on your eye the second habit is
five in between who cares but say the second one let's go let's go yeah number three i think is
hang on a second no actually i think we should go oh it it's a pause. But then it's a go.
It's able to take stock for a moment.
Yes.
What's the fourth one?
Oh, hey everyone.
What's it going on?
Okay, yeah.
What is the thing that we're doing?
We're just saying let's go.
We haven't decided what the thing is that we're going to do.
Can we please stop
and figure this out we're more than halfway through the habits five we know we have to get
to sharpening a saw at the end of this where is the saw yeah five i believe is hang on i'm just
gonna charge my phone for like 10 minutes because i know i'm gonna be going crazy yeah yeah yeah
exactly who knows where we will be by steps yeah just a little bit yeah just so i'm just gonna we just you know
use the bathroom or do whatever you do but i'm just gonna just plug my phone in for a second
and i think the sixth one is we have to do something about that guy that was asking all
those questions before uh-huh and so of course seven is sharpening this all sharpen this all
many meanings okay So the show.
Yes.
The scary show.
Have we gotten to that?
Is that what it was?
Or is this another one?
Well, as we discuss the habits, I'm realizing this show may be mostly just something I found very terrifying.
Uh-huh.
And because as the referee, Farah, was speaking about how to make a good time with the weak. Behind there was always a doll.
Like he's in his, what do you,
well, you know the church place in the back with the room?
He's like, oh, here's where my desk is
and here's where I check my emails
from the other disciples and things.
Right.
Yes.
The rec room.
The rec room.
And so he had like, oh, look, children love me.
Look at this.
And then it was a doll with eyes
and the eyes
it had eyes
but it did not close
there's no blinking of the eyes
okay
so what you wanted
was a doll that has no eyes
or a doll that blinks
yes
okay
yes
so that was very
I'm realizing now
this is not
no no no
it's a format
it's a format
it's a format
is it though? oh yeah and so we figure out how to show necessarily. It's a format.
Is it, though?
Oh, yeah.
And so we figure out how to pull it over.
It's a fear mat.
Yes, it's a fear mat.
What was the guy's name?
Do you remember?
Well, I think it was Farrah Schmidt.
So S-C-H-M-R-D-T. Not to be confused with Harald Schmidt, who is the German David Letterman.
Okay.
Great. Is he still doing his thing? with Harald Schmidt, who is the German David Letterman. Okay, great.
Still, is he still doing his thing?
I think people was like, hey, you're being German David Letterman.
And he's like, hey, suck it.
And then he did leave.
Okay, where'd he go?
Perhaps he is morphed into.
Me and I'm morphed into Sildor. What a twist.
Calling back to it.
I love when things come back around like that in such a natural way.
And I, of course, am Ha Ha Schmidt.
You are Harald Harald.
Harald.
But that's his nickname.
He's a comedy guy.
So his nickname, of course, is Ha Ha Schmidt.
I should let you know, I've secured the phone number Ha Ha for Flula eight years ago.
It's a real number. And I, it's okay, that explains
it, because I've been trying to get that phone number.
Oh, I have it, yes, it's mine. And it's been,
and they won't tell me who has it. I have it.
Okay. Yeah, yeah. And I've been dating everyone
at the phone company. To find out? Just, yeah,
thinking I can get on their email or something
when they go to sleep. But then, no, no,
taken. Hasn't happened.
I haven't gotten, haven't gotten to the point where they are asleep
and I'm anywhere around.
Ah, so.
A very quick question.
You guys were hanging out with Hasan Whiteside and Diane Sawyer?
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you for asking.
Well, you know, they always run together, those two.
Yes.
With the rebounding and the asking questions.
When Diane Sawyer shows up, it's a block party.
With four Cs, you know.
How's that?
Four Cs?
Like a block with four, like when you say, look at that.
Oh, he is sick.
Oh, the respelling block., I see. Oh, so we're spelling block.
She is block.
Oh, yeah. And then
pronouncing it with like the S sound.
Right? Yeah.
I think you're right. Okay.
Let's adapt
the
Pfarrerschmidt.
You can add an O if you like.
Like, O'Farrar Schmidt.
Ha Ha Schmidt.
Now, yeah, okay.
Let's adapt it.
We need a guy.
How old is he?
He's probably expired.
How old was he at the time of the show?
I would say the end of the 50s, 60s. Okay.
50s, 60s.
We could probably, I mean, if we knock him down
a little bit,
the kid,
the Stranger Things.
Oh, yes.
Tobey Maguire.
I like Tremblay.
Can we get Tremblay?
What about the kid
that is not the curly-haired one
with the gaps in Stranger Things
and is not the main one,
the wolf-hard kid,
the one who gets lost?
Oh, and he's always,
he looks like his mama.
Sam or something.
Will.
Will.
Will.
And he's in the wall.
Will.
Yeah, so we get him.
He's Farrer Schmidt.
Farrer Schmidt.
Okay, so some makeup.
Okay.
Well, to make him potentially younger.
Younger, want to age down.
Yes.
For the American audience
yes
yes
who shall play the doll
oh now that's a great question
there's a female doll
I
it was long here
but
and this is a new era
as a child
of those times
it was a lady doll
it was a lady doll
but now
who can know
I didn't ask the doll
do we have to update it
to make it not a lady doll?
Because I was going to pitch Annabelle could be the doll.
Okay.
Well, so this is the thing.
Yes.
Who is Annabelle?
Annabelle is a doll from a movie who has powers and is killing people.
And also, Sean has had sort of like a romantic history with Annabelle.
It's not.
How do you mean? Like in a sex world with Annabelle. It's not. How do you mean?
Like in a sex world?
Well, no.
That's a little personal.
That's private, but I am comfortable saying no.
That has not happened yet, but it's not off the table.
What I'll say is we've had a great time.
Have you put, where is this dog?
There's a definite connection there.
Okay.
Where does she live?
She's in a case inside the Arclight Hollywood.
So when you go, when you first walk in.
Yes.
Oh, on the right is the case of the new movie.
Here is the storm suit from the Guardians of the Film.
Yes.
And Annabelle's in there.
And it's funny.
I was just walking by and I thought I heard a tap on the glass.
She says she didn't.
But obviously somebody was noticing me and i turned and was just completely enchanted now i haven't
seen the movie and she's pissed um and i don't think i will because i don't want her to be some
thing from a film i want her to be annabelle. Personal relationship. The doll that's in a case at the movie theater who I talk to.
And what is the film that she is in?
The film is called Annabelle.
Oh, it is an eponymous.
Yes.
And she is being very scary in it.
And this is a fear mat.
She can blink, but she doesn't have to blink.
Yeah, I say no blinking is very important for this
yes
and so if we could get her
this opportunity
she would love
I mean
she would be very thankful to you
if you
if we could
get this off the ground
wasn't
why I suggested it
but
yeah
I think that there are
limited roles
unfortunately still
for
women dolls
yeah
in this industry
and this
can you use this as a way
to secure a first date, perhaps?
I don't, you know.
This would be a professional thing.
It would be totally separate from our current
relationship, which is I go to the
glass case inside
the movie theater. It's the Oak Light Hollywood, yes.
And I talk to the doll
inside the case. Can you open the case?
Is there a way to enter the case? Not that I've found. And I talk to the doll inside the case. Can you open the case? Is there a way to enter the case?
Not that I've found.
And I will say that what I know for certain is that if you try to open the case, people are mad.
The ushers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whatever they are.
They're pissed.
Yes.
They check the film quality and sound and also the doll.
Make sure everything is in the case
yes of course
yeah
so
so they
Annabelle
shows up
after years
of
Farr Schmidt
of not having seen her
yes
and she
has also
a baby
like a
smaller doll
oh a doll baby
yes
and she's like
hey
so I never told you
about this but this, but this is our
child.
But she doesn't really have
any kids. But the real Annabelle
does not have babies. No, but it's fine.
She can do it for the show.
That'll be okay for her?
Yeah, she can do that for the show. She can play anything.
I mean, she's just like magnetic.
So, instant family. I love this.
And who plays, oh, Kiefer Suther instant family. I love this. And who pays?
Oh, Kiefer Sutherland is the baby doll.
Is the baby doll.
The little one.
Yeah.
That actually could be really funny.
Yeah.
And very scary.
Like, oh, I'm not the president.
And then, oh, I'm a baby from Farah Schmidt's rec, what's it called?
Rec room.
Yeah.
Sorry, rec room.
Rec room, yeah.
And so now they're trying to make it work.
He is confused about whether, because he's a father,
whether to hide this baby,
because you can get in real trouble with your boss.
Yeah, it's a church.
If you have a baby in church.
Yes.
And the baby's mouthing off and bossing everyone around.
Not blinking also. Yes, that baby doesn't blink either. Oh, baby don't blink. off and bossing everyone around. Not blinking also.
Yes, that baby doesn't blink either.
Oh, baby don't blink.
Yes.
That's a poster.
Baby don't blink.
Or the name.
We don't have a name for the show.
Baby don't blink.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it could be the name.
The show's called Baby Don't Blink.
Or Don't Blink Twice.
Oh, I like it.
Off of the success of the movie Don't Think Twice, the Birbiglia movie.
Yes. Or maybe Eyeslia movie. Yes.
Or maybe Eyes Wide Open.
Yes.
Because of Tom Cruise.
Oh, and his.
Yes.
And now his eyes are sort of wide open to this new world of a family.
Yeah.
That's good.
We did a show.
Great.
We really did do one.
I'm so excited.
We did the whole thing.
Wow. Can we do really did do one. I'm so excited. We did the whole thing. Wow.
Can we do another one?
Please.
But you have to start it with, you have to give us a format.
Of course.
We need something from over there.
Okay.
So this one is called Wetten, dass...
Question mark.
No, this is...
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is great.
I'm loving it.
Yeah.
So what is that?
Wetten, dass...
Wetten, dass...
Question mark. Yes. great i'm loving it yeah so what is that this is question mark yes which is i am betting you that
a dot dot dot dot question mark oh wow and this is a talk show it is a very much a classics and
it is thomas gottschalk as you may know from sister act two uh starring uh from the Fugees Calista Flockhart
no
what is her
what is her name
from the Fugees
I think it was
Lauren Hill
Lauren Hill
yes
and then also
Calista Flockhart
I don't know
you weren't wrong
she like
sat in on some
Fugees recordings
yeah it was before
Proswell joined
it was Calista
and they're like
listen Calista
yes
are you from Jersey
and she says no
and then they say
how do you describe Jersey?
Is it dirty or new?
And she says, new.
And they say, you're out.
You have to leave.
It's dirty Jersey.
Yes.
And so then it was, yeah, pros.
Pros.
So anyway, I bet you that dot, dot, dot, question mark is hosted by Thomas Gottschalk, a man
with a large nose from Germany who plays a chef in the Nun movie, Sister Act 2.
Gottschalk.
Oh, Gottschalk. Gottschalk. Thomas Gottschalk. That, Sister Act 2. Godshark. Oh, Godshark.
Godshark.
Thomas Godshark.
That's a good name.
I like it.
God damn.
Right?
The power.
Godshark.
The Godshark.
Fuck.
If my name was Thomas Godshark.
What would you do?
Forget it.
I wouldn't have to do anything.
Oh, you'd roll up to Annabelle in that case.
The whole world would come to me.
Imagine Annabelle.
Yeah.
Have you told Annabelle your name yet?
I suppose not.
Okay.
It hasn't come up.
It hasn't come up, yeah.
Okay, well, hello.
When opportunity makes a, when it's there.
Jesus, you think I could pull that off?
I know you can do it.
I believe in you so hard.
Do you want to do a dry run?
Sure.
Okay.
Okay.
So I, or Fluid, you want to just be in the case?
Sure.
I'll be on the bed for you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey, hon.
You look really cool today.
I brought you some straws
some little coffee stirrer straws
I've noticed you have blinked a couple times
what? I didn't blink?
yes, I just wanted
so he can pull this off
I thought Annabelle can blink but the doll from the pastor's house
does not
she'd be playing a role where she
do you want me to play the doll
as Annabelle playing the doll
in Pastor Schmidt as you speak to me?
No, no.
So, yes, I stand corrected.
You should be blinking a lot.
Yes, blink because, yeah, that's what Annabelle, the real Annabelle really can do.
Okay, sorry, I'm ready now.
Hi, honey.
Hey.
I got you these strawss these little tiny straws
I know
they're I guess not good for the environment
but I know you said you don't care about all that
so
I was just thinking
maybe
I should say my name
can you cue him I don't want to say it
can you cue him to say his name i didn't want to
okay yes okay okay yeah honey yeah i just um was thinking maybe i'd see my i know your name
annabelle and i just uh i think it's so beautiful again it's so cool um but i was going to actually
say my name today and now say what your name is. Thomas Godshark.
Wow, the glass is all fogging up.
Smashing through the glass.
Glasses have been shattered.
And she is touching you.
Wow.
Wow.
Steffi would not.
No, wouldn't be thrilled with that.
Steffi Graf?
Yes. Oh, so yeah, you should. I mean,'t be thrilled with that. Steffi Graf? Yes.
Oh, so yeah, you should.
I mean, that's a connection that you guys have. I'm married to Steffi Graf.
Stop it.
You and Andre, both.
Yeah, I mean.
Yeah, it's like we don't like to put those kind of labels on it.
Yeah, we have an arrangement.
We don't really talk about that stuff.
But yeah, we both are super happy and
uh and i have you know uh we maintain separate residences just because our schedules are so
nutso and she doesn't talk about she doesn't talk about andre you don't talk about annabelle
and you guys don't talk about anything else no that's lovely yeah i support this i'm very happy
about it yeah i would love to be invited to your next event.
Okay, yeah.
No, I think we're going to do something in a couple of years.
Oh, great.
Bettenbos?
Dot, dot, dot, question mark.
Bettenbos, dot, dot, dot, question mark.
And this is I am betting you that.
Dot, dot, dot, dot.
And so what it is, is all of the guests are usually a famous person,
you know, very high on the storm meter of IMDb,
to bring it back to the podcast, Hollywood Handingbook. Thank you. It's about yes to bring it back to the podcast hollywood handing
book thank you it's about time we brought it back to the show we gotta get back to the show get back
to it okay so this is a talk show oh but it's so much talk but it's not hosted by haha schmidt no
no thomas as you say god sure yes okay uh but it's so much it's so much talking oh we are a german
talking show when you German talking show.
When you say talking show, it is only talking.
It is 99% is a talking.
They don't play like beer pong or anything?
Very short amount.
No games.
Very small game.
They'll play a small game?
They play a small game and here is a game.
Like if let us say, I don't know who is coming.
Maybe it's Tracy Chapman.
She is there as a guest.
And they're like, Tracy, how are you?
How is Fast Car, et cetera. Yes. And then they and they speak how was fast car what did she say to that she said
uh still going biatch wow crazy that's crazy though that is so crazy right yeah and then she
did leave she just she said no screw you thomas wow God shark. God shark, he did it. Okay.
But that was not a game.
No, well, she don't, as you know. Yes.
Yeah, Tracy, don't trap.
And so the game is always a bet.
And so it's like, oh, hi, good to see you.
I don't know, Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah.
Here is a bet.
A man can say he can lick five matchsticks,
and then when he does it, he can tell you your future.
And then they say, can he do it
or can he not do it? Tell us, Enrique.
And then Enrique make a predicting.
Could he do it? I don't know.
I didn't see this episode.
Oh, you didn't see that one. You just heard about it.
It was just in the news. I fainted.
Oh, yeah.
It's a strong medicine.
Enrique is like
I would say
he's like bad medicine
and it is what I need
yes
he has had some
yeah
songs that are
that go down
very hard
like they
like they taste
very strange
going down
yes
like a large
flaxseed oil
yes
yes
right but
but good for you.
Yep.
We hope.
We got to import this show.
We have to do something with it.
So it's a talk show where they're making bets.
Oh, big bets.
Yes.
I'll bet you that.
Dot, dot, dot.
Question mark.
Who's a famous...
Shouldn't be answered by Bette Midler?
Oh.
Wow. I was going to say... and hayes is pulling his weight that's good that's good right say what i got one in a co-host perhaps
yeah maybe uh the bus jerome bettis hello yes okay so it's bet and bettist. And they are betting each other.
They're making bets with the guest.
Yes, guest bets.
Yes.
And Betsy Brandt could do it as well, who was on Breaking Bad.
Mookie Betts.
And Mookie Betts.
Mookie could always do it.
Yes, he's really in it.
Mookie may be hosted instead of Thomas Godshark.
You want to replace Godshark?
Oh, yeah, i assume we were
doing that i think he might be expired as well he's very much alive oh he is alive okay he's
still here and waiting for his next you know he's like as they say by the phone like soul asylum
you know yes yes waiting by so it seems important to you that he do it no oh you're just bailing
bailing on him just like that. You don't
care. I'm a neutral. I'm a neutral card
that's rolling on the street. If you want to
put me in a gear one or Godshot
gear, let's do it.
Okay.
I think we try the four
host combination we were talking about, which
is Bette Midler, Jerome Bettis, Betsy
Brandt, and Mookie Betts.
I like the athletes inside.
I think it's very smart.
They offer sort of a new perspective.
And betting on sports is this big thing now.
Yes.
Fan duel and stuff is huge.
Is this where you guys mentioned the sponsors?
Yes.
I mean, sorry.
No.
This is where we talk about products that we just happen to really enjoy.
That we use on our own and just love.
Yes.
Got it.
And what I was saying was that FanDuel is a way for you to make money.
Yes.
It's how you do it.
And it's a job now, basically.
It is.
And you can do it and not go to work.
You have fun instead of working and you make even more money.
What's the promo code?
Geez, do we even have one?
That's a long one.
So we're hoping to get a promo code.
We're in between promo codes right now.
We definitely have had some good ones in the past, and we look forward to the next one.
The last promo code, I think they're randomly generated, but the last promo code was stop.
And so I think it was deterring a lot of people from using the product and then it
was don't use this that was the promo code yes that sounds ineffective right yeah and that was
random generated yes and so i think the next one we want is something along the lines of like yes
do it go go go please yes, help. Something like that.
Yeah, I like this.
So, and we're doing more American bets instead of licking matches and predicting the future,
which is kind of a German thing.
Yeah, I admit it.
Like, what kinds of stuff for the American, the more American bets? The American, oh, God.
Respect the flag.
Yes.
Oh, yes. So, we're betting. Eye respect the flag yes so we're betting eye on the flag about whether someone
can iron the flag that's a good one yes yes yes uh can you wash a flag is this no don't do it
you can like there's a specific way that you have to wash it yeah certain settings yeah yeah
there are our washing machines here
have the flag.
It's like you send
a window washer guy
up to the top
of the flagpole
and he has to wash it
up there,
you know,
and like squeegee it.
Yeah.
Which can be tough.
Yeah,
it really can be.
It's fairly gross.
We did two shows,
Flula.
We just did it.
Oh,
we did do it,
yes.
Right now.
We just did, right? Was that two, Jordan?
That was two.
Did you see Annabelle?
No, but I know
of her reputation.
She has a reputation? She has kind of a reputation.
She has a big reputation. Oh, tell me more, please.
Yes. Oh, I thought you were saying you have a reputation
for having seen Annabelle.
For having seen Annabelle.
But you're not saying that Annabelle has a reputation for having seen it. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. I have a reputation for having seen it. Ah, okay. But
you're not saying that Annabelle has a reputation.
No. No. It's
me. I have the reputation because
of Annabelle. Okay, so you're not trying
to cover up that you were
implying something about Annabelle
and now you're putting it on yourself.
No.
Well, I will say I've seen lots of smudges on the glass.
I just want to put this out there.
Okay.
Those weren't mine.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't know who to believe anymore.
Kevin, have you seen Annabelle?
God, just talking to Chef Kevin through glass right now is kind of getting me worked up.
It's reminding me of sort of my Annabelle relationship.
Oh, Chef annabelle here
oh i like it well i have a question and maybe hazel hate that i even asked this but and i don't
know if it could lead us to a show but when i was in germany the german students did sort of a
mean trick to me where they played this game with me
to kind of make me look foolish.
And I'm wondering if this is common,
like if everyone in Germany knows it
or if it was just this group of things.
And I hate him asking this question
because I hate anything where he looks foolish.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Putting himself in this position.
What was the...
Ready?
They would go,
Der Mund ist rund. No, no, wait, sorry. Der Mund They would go Der Mund ist rund
No, no, wait, sorry. Der Mund ist rund
Der Mund ist rund
Hat zwei Augen
Nas und Mund
Oh, das ist aber schön. And then they would pass me
And then everyone would
draw that with the lighter
Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know this?
So you are saying the mouth is round
The mouth is round, has two eyes, a nose and what did you say?
What they were saying was the moon is a dog. Der Mund ist rund. Der Mund.
Go like, oh who let my doggies out? Oh, oh, Mond. Der Mond.
There we go. Der Mond ist rund. Der Mond ist rund. Ja, Mond. Der Mond. There we go. Der Mond ist rund. Mond. Der Mond ist rund.
Ja, Mond.
Der Mond ist rund.
Ja, ja, ja.
Der Mond ist rund.
So you are saying mouth again.
You have now once more switched.
Now that's now your...
Mond.
Mo.
Mond.
Mond.
Der Mond.
Mo.
Der Mond.
Do you know like the three Stoogies?
Ja.
Larry Curly Mo.
Ja.
Mond.
Der Mond.
Ja, okay.
Der Mond ist rund. Ja. Der Mond ist rund. Oh, yeah der mond is rund is this how they were tricking you well saying yeah what is something that you didn't want so
what here's what they would do they would draw the shape with a lighter they would draw a circle
with a lighter yeah we had just smoked okay so they would draw and i sat in the park with them
for like 45 minutes while they did this to me.
Okay.
And so they're like, okay, we're going to do this now.
Yeah.
They were like, hey, let's do this game.
And they all did it, seven people.
I can't believe the patience that they had to just fuck with me.
But they would say, der Mond ist rund.
Yeah.
The moon is a hound.
The moon is a hound.
It has two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.
And they would draw the eyes, nose, and mouth.
And then they would pass me the lighter.
And every time they did it, they'd go, you're doing it wrong.
You're doing it wrong.
And they would correct my pronunciation.
Is he doing it right now?
Is he just making you look foolish again?
Maybe, but they would correct my pronunciation,
or they would correct the way I draw it.
And I would always be looking.
They'd go like, no, you haven't done it right.
You haven't done it right.
And they'd pass it back. But the whole, no, you haven't done it right. You haven't done it right. And they pass it back.
But the whole thing was they were doing it different every time.
The only thing that was the same is they would draw it with their right hand and pass it with their left hand.
Ah, it's one of those games where they're like, you aren't following the rules correctly.
Yes, that's right.
Boy.
Is that something that you guys do?
You guys.
Wow. I will tell you, guys do? You guys? Wow.
Well.
I will tell you, Sean, I have never played this.
I will say that you were saying something
incorrect and as a German person
it's hard to not make a want of correcting
the thing. Well, but that
was never the issue and at the time
my accent was a lot better. Was very good.
No, you have a very good accent, I must say it.
Sehr gut. Wirklich spitze. Danke. It does sound a lot better. Was very good. No, you have a very good accent, I must say it. Sehr gut. Wirklich spitze.
It does sound a little strange.
Bitte langsam.
Ich bin ausländerisch.
Ja, hör auf.
It's very good. I'm very impressed with it.
Get out of here. I cannot.
And your name is almost meaning
like nice. In, um,
schön, right? A little bit.
Und um, um, herum. Und ja, was war das denn? Das war schön. That was very nice. And how do you, like nice in um and right a little bit and um um and yeah what's up dustin it's
for shooting that was very nice and how do you how does is this a German how are
you knowing what shown is Sean Sean is shown he teaches teach me I teach I take
his two hours every day after the podcast I'm trying to teach him German
so in case we've run into this these gang members basically gang members what
you're talking i've been in training for the rest of my life to try to get these guys with my own
game and my own trick yeah what is the trick have you uh develop yet what you will do um i don't
have a specific plan my hope is that hayes will be able to come up with something on the fly because I've been teaching him. Right.
And it was not in Germany that this happened.
It was in Prague with Germans.
Oh, that's fair.
That's different then, huh?
Yeah.
And now do we know are they German?
Because we've established you have had some CBB oil or something before.
So what?
Yeah.
Yeah, we had CBB oil.
Were they German?
We tried absinthe and then we had some hash.
Oh, okay.
And they were German, but what I noticed, too,
is a lot of them were also not German.
Yeah, and they could have been exiled.
Yeah.
They could have been sent away.
Some of the stuff there, it seems like they're up to.
Yes, they could have been sent
out of Germany for doing this
kind of mean trick.
When you say German, I know
these are not Germans. Because if you see
German men, you're like, German, hello,
ding dong, ring ring.
That's what I said when I saw you.
So I guess these are guys
probably from Hungary.
One of them was from Cyprus.
Cyprus?
Mm-hmm.
Which one?
Konstantin.
Oh.
Okay.
Kosti.
Yeah, yeah.
Is he the one that sings hits from the bong?
Well, interesting you should ask.
He did sing that.
He did sing that.
They were singing hits from the bong All the time
And Costi was leading it
See, yeah
And then there was a man in the back
That would just say
Hey, to the brain
Yeah
And Manu was the other guy
Manu, yeah, yeah, yeah
And he was also singing hits from the bong
He was left-handed, right?
Mm-hmm
Yeah
Yeah
Was he just practicing?
Right-handed and all other stuff
but shot left
just euro stepping everywhere
instead of walking
he would just euro step
it's very weird
he's a little too old for the crowd
I must tell you
that was odd how much older he was
yeah
he kept trying to get me to listen to
absolute to beginner
unmöglich
have you what kevin oh kevin hello chef kevin have you ever seen american horror story
are you asking me now yeah so i have so chef kevin by what did you have for breakfast this
morning chef kevin uh i skipped it today. Oh, God.
Really, Kevin?
Did nobody bring you a nice treat today?
Oh, I have a treat waiting for me.
Sean gave me a biscuit.
Thank you.
It's bringing it back.
Please.
Okay, so your question was, have you seen American Horror Story?
Yeah, so Kevin, I can tell you I have a deep fearing of all horror films
and horror things.
I have a deep imagining.
So no, I've not seen
AHS seasons one
through current.
So I'm working on a show
called America's Horror Story.
And it's the
everyone in America
tells the scariest story
they ever heard.
What do you think about
like a German,
German's horror story? Yes. Germany horror story i agree with this well this i can tell you the first the pilot would be uh
where the train system everything is three to four minutes tardy but they've told you it was
going to be two minutes tardy okay so that's that's a pilot that's getting me freaking so i saw your loins just shift
yeah and i was there was loud yeah an audible shift yeah time for a brand deal audible.com
yeah uh yes let's talk a little bit about audible we don't have a code per se but what we do have is a recommendation please do
listen to books
right
oh god
can you make your promo code
just the prince symbol
oh
okay
very naughty
really naughty
it's a little topical
for the kind of stuff
we like
we kind of like this
to be like a timeless show
and you're
I'm bringing
the prince symbol the very recent change his name to a symbol We kind of like this to be a timeless show. I'm bringing the current.
The Prince symbol.
The very recent change.
In a few weeks.
Trending on Twitter.
To escape the contract.
Taft cap.
Taft.
William Howard.
And with that, I think we are finished.
We're just about done.
I'm sorry we didn't do a third show.
I'm sorry I told that story about
Der Mond.
That was perfect.
We did Germany's Horror Story.
We did do Germany's Horror Story
so we did get to do three shows.
That is so nice.
Alright.
What's happening, Floor? What are you going to go do now?
I'm going to Euronate.
I'm currently writing a song about love and techno and how I love it.
And then I'm recording.
I have a podcast also.
Talk about it.
It's called Boom Time.
Boom Time.
I'm the host.
I have a director, Alex Simmons.
We speak of deep questions and deeper answers.
You have a director?
Who?
Yeah, I thought, why not?
Alex Simmons.
Alex Simmons is my director.
Of the podcast? Of the podcast, yes.
They've never, we've never even
been, they actually have actively
said that podcast don't have directors.
I have a choreographer,
I have a line producer, I have a second second.
Kevin!
Kevin. I'm technically
the choreographer, and
I just say producer, but I'm all those things.
Kevin, how was the biscuit?
I haven't had it yet.
You're saving it, I guess.
You don't save a biscuit.
Save a horse ride to the cowboy.
Eat a biscuit.
Eat a biscuit.
If you get it.
I'll say this.
I'm ready to appoint a director of our show.
Because we do need one.
No shit.
Yeah.
And it is Engineer Jordan.
Oh, Jordan.
Engineer Jordan is the new director.
Podcast director Jordan.
Thank you for directing it.
Fluke, give me an example
of one of the deep questions
that you find deeper answers for
on the show
just so I can imagine it.
Absolutely.
So, for example,
last night I had a dream
that David Robinson,
the Admiral,
who's a former center of the San Antonio Spurs and also a Navy midshipman.
Just a famously wonderful guy.
A wonderful man.
So, he was working in an ice cream shop, and I love mint chocolate chip ice creams.
And so, I asked him, what is that?
Where is it available?
Okay, let me stop you.
So, Jordan, direct me in how i would handle something like this
with the mint chocolate ice cream yeah yes exactly yes see she's already boom right on it
uh i would direct you to not move okay i'm holding still yep and uh i would go on my fancy device
and it's um is that me or that's you?
Me.
Because I'm the director.
Yep, got it. Thank you.
What is this device?
I think it's called a computer.
Oh, okay.
The director's computer.
A director's computer, yeah.
It's very large.
I can't fit it in my pocket.
That's huge.
And then I would research the chocolate chip ice cream.
You're looking it up for me.
I appreciate that.
That's me looking it up.
What did you discover?
I discovered that there's a lot on this planet.
Okay.
Well, his question was, where do I find it?
Oh, it's at...
No, but you're helping.
I'm still looking for it.
Oh, okay.
My director's computer is very slow.
Okay.
There's no Wi-Fi.
It's so big.
Yeah, it takes a while for the information to travel.
It's almost like you're bragging about it.
Jordan, has Kevin provided you with any choreography associated with this?
He showed me a two-step.
Oh.
It's one, two.
I did it.
Right there.
Oh, wow.
Holy shit.
It says it because it is it
yeah
one two
there you go
she has a BA
in vocal performance
as well
I know
you can tell
you're listening
to it
you can feel it
the second she's on mic
it's like whoa
I'm in the hands
of a professional
yeah
that's like
can haste do the running man
knew it
you know
yes
thank you
yes
of course
Kevin has never once provided that as choreography for me.
No, he hasn't been a piece of it.
Now once.
Oh, you're waiting.
I like this.
On the show.
I guess, yeah, we're all waiting.
Saving it for sweeps.
Yep.
Yep.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook. That was a hate gun podcast.