Hollywood Handbook - Foosballz, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

The Boys talk to CARL TART, GREG GALLANT and RYAN MEHARRY about some new segments for their podcast Foosballz.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. that you're like doing something. I get it. I just want to say like, I listen. I get it. I was unable to explain it to Hayes. And so I said, let's see what the guy is in here. I understand that it's something. I think I get it. Like, no, I know it's something. I know it's like,

this thing you guys do. And I love that. You guys are sports guys, right? It's kind of like. Am I a sports guy mondo come on brother yes uh yeah boku sports fan gotcha okay okay picture this so we've been bogged down as a society with always looking at stuff but we forget that the original Nickelodeon is in our brains. Right. Wow.

So what I need you to do is picture this. Close your eyes and picture this. You mean like when Pete and Pete was on it? Yeah. Yeah. See? See? See?

And that's the problem. And that's the problem. You mean like a Nickelodeon? What's the problem? A killer fucking joke? It would cost a nickel. You would watch a little reel. Yes.

Yeah. But in your brain. And a nickel is how much that freaking podcast is making we'll talk about that no that is for i haven't seen my penny we'll we'll get into all that no picture this is actually a sort of a tribute to the did the 120 year tradition of the visual medium in america and that's what we wanted to do you know yeah it's cubric it's uh hitchcock and now you're speaking my language because as as mondo of a boku sports fan as i am film i know yeah it's cubric is hitchcock i call every time i say the picture this i'm saying i am doing a cube cock yeah a cube cock this is a cube cock on this one yeah and the studios honestly that gave them the

opportunity to to be like filmmakers like without the studios they would just be like ugly guys sorry yeah yes no picture but picture that so picture this and hey is this will help you picture this it's going handheld it's verite it's dirty in the frame we're in here this doesn't feel like it to me this doesn't feel like the picture this that you all do no that's because you're picturing it you're picturing it wrong because if you if you really was picturing it right then you would know you know what i am constantly getting angles every time i'm saying it's okay it's not our way if you're picturing it like brett ratner when you should be picturing if you're

yeah yeah i'm picturing the cameras what are you picturing i'm picturing it on stick and the cameras are scissoring okay so it So it's like locked off, single frame. Okay, yeah. Just letting the actors riff for a long time. And gauze, a lot of gauze. Well, then we have to cross shoot. You should say, picture this and cross shoot it because we want to get all the riffs.

So that's what it is. Yeah, you have to. For comedy, you have to for comedy you have to comedy plays in the two i mean the action and the reaction please uh no i i really believe okay so i'm able to picture it and actually helpful for me because um as much as i said at the beginning that i did get it i had no idea what it was i do i get that it's something and i get the beginning that I did get it, I had no idea what it was. I get that it's something. And I get the impression that you don't actually even get that it's something.

I'm getting there. Okay. Look how energetic Sean is, right? No, I am. He clearly gets it. Well, I had the killer lemonade. I had the psycho lemonade from Panera. Kevin brought me one of the unloaded sips.

And, yeah, it's completely changed my perspective um and my heart rhythm like you came in here really really morose yeah yeah uh i was ready to fucking cash in you know i was i was not charged i had the right big cash first charge that's what that that's what that means. You were cash only. I was cashed out. I thought you meant you were ready to check out. Yeah, both.

Both. I had the killer big kid grilled cheese, which is two big pieces of Texas toast, cheese, bacon, shards of glass. And 300 milligrams of caffeine. And 300 milligrams of caffeine on top of it. The glass is crystallized in the caffeine. Is this a secret menu item? No, this is on the menu.

It's on the menu. You order it. They'll be like, do you want a Ritalin boost? And you go, yeah. I would like you to crush up a full bottle of prescription Ritalin in there. I had a suicide chowder in a caffeinated bread bowl.

And that's the suicide chowder. It sounds bad, but it's just all the chowders. It's all the different chowders from the chowder fountain. You can get corn chowder. You can get clams, red and white. Manhattan. The bread has diet pills baked into the bread. Hydroxycut the bread hydroxycut

staten island chowder yeah queen's chowder bronx chowder montauk chowder vibrant stacker twos but just all that you know everything that you like to have when you're at panera all put together in this one item it's it's really great and you wash it down with some uh some psychopath lemonade um that just fucking explodes your entire insides it's pretty cool i wonder if another sandwich shop is gonna go in the downer direction yeah i've been interested because i haven't heard from blimpies in a minute and yeah and i do think that there is a hole in the marketplace where when I leave Panera and I am fucking shooting off the walls and it is pretty late at night

and I do need to go to bed almost immediately. If I could walk into blimpies and just shout out on a fucking two and all stuff. And just hit the earth. It's weird. Whenever I eat blimpies, I fall asleep really, really fast. Yeah.

That was a fucking massive downer. Oh, the humanity. Wow. We've got their ad campaign rights itself. It's just tough because when we brought you guys in, you're from? Kansas City.yan's from kansas city yes so like yes yeah right we're activating the economy yeah yeah ohio greg's from ohio carl's for like his different places that he says is from every yeah the story does

not hold up today i'm from Puerto Rico. And it's just so like. Carl was with Mayor Pete and the CIA back in the 90s. Just a big chunk of missing time for him. Did he go by Mayor Pete back then? Yeah, was he Mayor Pete even before? Mayor Pete Booty Judge. Yeah, that's what they call me in the club. Caffeinated bread bowl prices.

Fixing bread bowl prices, yeah bowl prices yeah mayor pete the booty judge yeah i'm at the club they call me mayor pete it was it was from was he judging booty because i'm the booty judge that's my dog's joke it was from shout out that's posh's joke yeah a conversation where um kevin brought us together and we knew what it was about like uh we've been doing this for a long time yeah uh and still feels fresh and to me it does yeah but to everyone else it's like it does we're we're out of touch we're out of touch yeah i i know i understand that i have no pretense like i have no idea what's been so removed yes the day-to-day goings-on of society for so long yeah well when you're tight studio life when you're titans of the podcast industry it's tennessee titans football mondo mondo i just love the stuff yeah but i imagine it's hard to to stay grounded like these like what's going on out there i just have no connection to especially like these men that's what we're

in other places like women I feel they just inherently understand refinement there's some connection there where yeah I don't know what it is I'm not a guy's guy I'm not ashamed of that but women there's

some sort of communion from over there overseas there might there's there's oceans between us that's for sure i don't i don't get it and that's what the hat pack was kind of about right it was like to get in touch with that energy yeah right hats guys like hats very i'm the only guy here not wearing one. No. It's true. It's true. It's crazy.

But it was about bringing in some of these guys. You know what I mean? Get some of these dudes, you know, because it's, you know, primarily the show has been for women that we've made. And that is great, and it's served us well. And there's just this sort of cool cosmic connection you know that we have with females that we haven't been able to generate with guys don't get the show yeah so we said you know and we said amir said you have to do

something uh for the boys yeah throw some red meat something for the shark vulture did call hollywood handbook the lifetime of podcasts yeah the own network yeah and so it was about understanding these guys understanding the food the kansas city like the wet food yeah the wet food okay wet food yeah yes the ohio dry food big chili right isn't there like crazy chili? Yeah, yeah, in Cincinnati. And in Puerto Rico, we have something called plantanos. Plantanos. Plantanos.

Talk about plantanos. Plantanos is like a banana. You would think it was a really starchy banana. Okay. And it kind of caramelizes itself. All you got to do is fry it up things get real juicy sticky uh big banana but don't try to eat it don't try to eat it like don't just don't don't don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it so we're talking about foods we're talking about wet food the chili and then plantainos and the difference there is that you don't eat don't eat that shit don't

eat but it is food but it is food's ball can i back up we're here with the foosballs today welcome to hollywood handbook we're here with the foosballs today and this is it you know and this is again um i think because our because of who our listeners are uh we can drop them in the middle you know what i mean but uh i think a lot of your fans and hopefully we'll get more of them yes we can do that that's what i'm saying we can do yeah a lot of them probably need us and we're happy that you're here need us to kind of back it up and really hold their hand um so we're here with the foosballs they have this show you know it's this fantasy football show and they're sports maniacs bondo bucco and they're really and they go like um funny mode and they do picture this we talked about a little bit and um we geek out

they must have other all over there must be something else yeah no those are all the segments that's it picture this in funny mode okay well that's that's what we that's what we did want to talk about too i think yeah part of the thing of having you here was like just because of financially we made some promises about the show to amir that have not yet been fulfilled and he um has taken kevin's hedgehog hostage and he is going to remove a single quill every day until we make your show financially solvent and so he had some uh segment ideas and we have some segment ideas and just stuff to kind of zhuzh it up uh that's kevin's

hedgehog that was kevin's wife's hedgehog that was about that's why i was always like whipped a man taking care of a hedgehog he A man taking care of a hedgehog. He's allergic. Taking care of a hedgehog that's not even his. You don't have a hypoallergenic hedgehog? No. Asked and answered. His wife flies in the dander.

She gets dander shipped in. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, there's more powerful stuff. I guess my quick question, when you're saying we're not financially solvent yeah what's the overhead for the show yeah well look you you guys have enjoyed the the perks right yeah occasionally recording in this studio yeah stuff like that you know you notice how there's like new cables added over there like every time you come in no and the ceiling is and the ceiling is a little

bit lower like every single time ceiling's a little bit lower to make us feel cheap to make us feel taller yeah well i do feel tall yeah i i don't have like a a really great sense of all the sort of investment that they've made here, but what I'm being told is that it's significant for them. Sometimes there's people you might have noticed. Not today, obviously, but sometimes there's people working here. People sitting down. They're at a computer. It's not clear at all what they do.

They kind of are annoyed that you're here, but it's like, but aren't you only here because we're here yeah um yes amir's boots of course yeah they're all hot his his boots are hot the boots are hot every single person is hot they're fur lined they're keeping his feet warm yeah now this is the first i've heard that we're not doing well uh okay uh because i've spent my advance money you want time with that yeah uh like i've heard that we're not doing well uh okay uh because i spent my advance money you want time with that yeah uh like i've spent my advance money i the first i heard was that kevin called me up crying in the middle of the night and said he's gone i think they're gonna do something bad said who what who the kidnap amir about clippy the hedgehog oh wow i normally call up sean crying in

the middle of the night so i had to specify this one was about clippy and amir take him he'd take one clippy the hedgehog amir take one quill off a day getting clipped usually he just had usually kevin just calls me because he had a bad dream i have the charge lemonade at night it caused crazy nightmare well this sounds like a nightmare but we just we just need to juice up the segments i don't think it's that difficult um amir i guess recently got married and would like to see that reflected more in the show yes uh segment where you talk about i guess we call football wives yes some of these and it's who you would like to be married to nicole brown simpson okay okay we do talk about nicole brown simpson a lot on the show yeah i've noticed that i mean that um i was gonna ask for less but i guess this uh this is this is in keeping with what we're asking yeah so maybe more maybe we go the other way and go

more you want who was the other who was the guy ron gold yeah so if i want this to be a little more like we have we're the nicole brown simpson show like show. We're talking about the players' wives, but really what good husbands they are. You know what I mean? Being a good husband. So you want us to talk less about Ron Goldman. Would you like to share that with Fred Goldman? I mean, this whole area, there must be some living.

What about his bet, Nicole Brown? some living. What about Yvette Nicole Brown? We talk a lot about her. Okay. Okay, but that feels like it's farther away from sports. Am I crazy? Yvette Nicole Brown was on a show called Community, which was another character named Troy, who in the first season played on the football team on Community.

You know who else played on the Community football team? You played on the Community football team. You played on the community football team you play on the community football you played on the community football i'm just i wasn't going to say it but you did maybe i did but i i wasn't going to seasons in a football game wow that's what college players get now with with all this and i don't know all this season they're all 34 and making more money than they could in the pro some of them are there any players that have like been it like just to create a kind of um connection to our show i think it would be really useful are there any players that have like been in movies like commercials nam dios howie long howie long okay oj simpson no not oh come

on he was good he was so funny he was real funny uh who else was michael vick in atlanta or was he just a joke and i was off screen he wasn't actually in it he wasn't actually in it tony gonzalez was he in i don't know he's beautiful though beautiful man and the movie follows him yeah wherever he goes that's the movie well 80 for brady tom brady was in ted too of course yeah talk about his his he's been on family guy rob gronkowski's been okay yeah so that's summarize what you can of his appearances in Ted 2. That would be every week you would talk about how Tom Brady was in Ted 2. Ideally, yes.

Movies with numbers in them with this guy. Ted 2, 80 for Brady. What's next? What's the deal? The number 23. The number 23. Jim Carrey? Let him go. I have it.

I have it okay what is it we've got two and four covered three would make sense six would make seven um what's in the box a safety and two linebackers what's in the box of one? Yes, but no, but let me go. That's basketball. What's in the box of deflated football? Oh, okay. Okay. No! But what's he doing?

What's in the box? It's his cell phone. It's his cell phone. Remember he broke his cell phone so that no one could check? And then it's, so the nefarious killer, in this case, Roger Goodell. I didn't want to. killer in this case, Roger Goodell. I did open it. And he's, and he's, you know,

open, you know, open the box, Detective Brady. And he's, you know, and he almost had the haircut. Haircut.

Yes. And he opens it and the cell phone, it's got the message, you know, a text message says, please deflate the football. But it can't just be us doing this.

You know what I mean. You have to be able to... So they're playing the Ravens, right? They're playing the Ravens? Yeah. Belichick says, John Harbaugh has the upper hand now. Is that anything? That's good. That's pretty good. I want to stay in the...

What does he do in Ted 2? What's his role? If I remember correctly, I think he's in yeah he's in bed um they're trying to steal his semen is that it yeah they they break into his house um ted that fits with a lot of what we talk about kevin can we just like pull up get confirmation that this is because this is going to need to be right i'm just going to need to double check that we're working with the right people here yeah i mean i don't want to expose ourselves gronkowski i know has

all those commercials where he tries to do stolen valor and pretend that he was in the military yeah really needs people to think that he was in the military yes but i can't remember ted too fairly certain yeah i think you're right that they got they break into his his house and brady's asleep in bed and they are trying to steal his semen. What's their plan? To drink it. To drink it. Well, I assumed it was because he couldn't get Mila Kunis pregnant. No, it's to drink it. I'm pretty

positive. I'm pretty positive it's to drink it. Oh. It's Ted 2, so it's not Mila. Is she not in the second one? No, it's Amanda Seyfried. Oh. It's Amanda Seyfried. is she not in the second one no it's amanda cypher oh yeah it's amanda cypher um it's uh yeah it's dead too so stop me alone okay and what's the name of this segment drinking tom brady's gum okay i don't yeah i mean that's it's about movie like football players and movies and stuff yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Picture this.

Picture this. Picture this. Oh, hey, you've got a full movie picture. Picture colon this. Okay. Like this. You know how people will just quote, tweet something and say this? Yes, and they'll just point at it and say this.

Gronkowski versus the troops. Yeah. That's interesting, right? First, yeah. Like that even could be its own show. Right. Just he proves that he's stronger than the troops yeah that's interesting right first yeah like that even could be its own show right just he proves that he's stronger than the troops the whole yeah different things nothing but the troops yeah troops the whole troops nothing but the troops okay you can't handle the troops could be like a broken skull ranch type of thing yeah i know what that is he he's facing he's like

facing down the troops every episode and you all are described doing kind of a picture of this yeah with rob gronkowski fighting all the troops okay and it's like he gets hurt a lot is it a ranch is it like a football field broken skull football field well for gronkowski because he's right because it's football yeah well that's how i think of it yeah right and the one time that he was on uh top chef and he does this he they're gonna make him some food and he goes uh and he's like oh and and you're making me some sausage. And I like a big sausage. And then Padma goes, so do I. No. I swear to God, I couldn't make that up.

I was fucking screaming. I was losing it. I mean, this is a cooking show. Did Kevin call you when he saw that? It's on like normal TV. Kevin, did you call me during that? I called you, but I think you put your phone on do not disturb. Because he was screaming.

Yeah, I was screaming. That was psycho, dude. It might be helpful. I think a lot about something that was helpful for me in art was the Geico commercial with the cavemen that began. Brian Arakpo was in it. And then at the beginning of the commercial, the caveman says, you're Brian Arakpo.

He explains everything about who Brian Arakpo is. And it's similar to the Travis Kelsey one now about insurance or whatever where the guy's like, Travis Kelsey, you're tight end for the Chiefs. You're champion this, this, this. You just say the names. I notice that a lot. It would be helpful to test out a version where

we're saying the name, we're providing context for all the different names. We're helping people. Yes, that's nice. And let's have some accountability of what's going on with the show because I think sometimes even you guys don't know what each other are talking about.

Yes. And in the most recent one, there was, like, Greg presented a pretty clear premise. So Ryan was going on for, I don't know, 45 minutes about, like, loving george pickens it was crazy george pickens i love george pickens yeah i do can i what and he and you wish that the chiefs had had him and greg went well if i put him on the chiefs right now and we did a redraft when would you pick him and he went what what are you talking about and then he went if if he got traded to the chiefs and then you got to redraft for the rest season how high would you pick him

would he be like a top five receiver for you and you went oh maybe the end of the second round i still don't understand what he's asking it's think it's so clear. So this is the kind of thing where it's like if we had a segment, you know what I mean? Yes. Even if the segment was called Stump Ryan and you just presented a pretty clear idea of something that could happen. And you can stop the show. Like we do it all the time. You can stop the show. You can feel how many times we've stopped today.

Yes. Oh, have we? And just take a second to like really figure out like what's going on what's being asked of you yeah like because it felt like pickens and the chiefs were things you had brought into the conversation but then when they got presented to you it was like get this away from me i guess i didn't understand were you talking from a fantasy perspective or like the efl draft perspective From a fantasy perspective. Well, the show The Foosballs is about fantasy football.

I think it's kind of football just in general. Not nearly as much as I was told when I was brought on board. Oh no, Brett. Well, that's how I sold it to you. I said, we're not going to talk about any real football. It's going to be all just the league that we

play in. Like, I did a lot of fantasy research this year, and if you'll notice in the first episode, we don't talk about it almost at all. We have to lay the groundwork. We have to lay the groundwork. We've got to get people comfortable. So if we were to do that again, which we will. We are starting over.

The George Pickens conversation, whoever introduces the concept of George Pickens would then want to expand on that a little bit. So what's another detail that you would offer? About George Pickens? This again, what the fuck? It's his thing. What else could it be?

What more can I offer about George could it what more can I offer about George Pickens other than I mean I'll offer that he played terribly the other night and that now

I'm having seconds football you're his biggest fan you're his biggest fan I don't think I am anymore when is his birthday oh okay George Pickens

had to be born in 1997 he's younger don't look at me it's not stump Greg is he seeing anyone? I would imagine so lone wolf

he did demand momentarily to be released by the Steelers just the other day and then he quickly recanted so that's some good information and then and what happens when they're released? they just get to go crazy. They get to go fucking nuts.

They're spinning around like the Tasmanian devil, right? Yeah. Well, Odell Beckham last year requested Rumspringa from the Rams. Can we? Sorry. Odell Beckham is a wide receiver from LSU who was sexually harassed by Lena Dunham at the Met Gala. Yes. And he had one of the greatest catches of all time.

Then he had some bad years. Motivated by that. Then he had a good year, but then he got hurt in the Super Bowl. Six month long sleepover with Drake at Drake's house. And Lena Dunham was like, I think he's one of the greatest catches of all time. It's like, can you stop?

Sometimes there's two funny things going on at once in your show, and I don't know where to be. You know? And I wish we had that. Oh, boy, try living it. Lena Dunner. There's either two or none. Yeah.

That's why it's so hard to get clips and stuff. There's never just one funny thing that happens. It's clearly this is what's going on. It's like most of the show is nothing, and suddenly two funny things happen it's dual dialogue yeah are you googling lena dental hey i'm looking up odell beckham jr's birthday he's he's looking up born in 92 he's looking up the the value of odell beckham's crypto his birthday is tomorrow. Remember, remember. Yes. He is. He is. That could be a good segment. It's his birthday.

Remember, remember. One of you quits the show at the end of every episode. Big drop. Kevin is trying to trim the fat. Do you mean a Hollywood handbook? Kevin's looking for

call her daddy style controversy. you're splitting off to start other podcasts there's a winner and a loser we've got like some press around it so one of you could leave at the end of an episode one of you could get the fuck out of here

one of you could leave now start another football podcast don't even have to wait to the end of the episode just go and start another football podcast don't even have to wait to the end of the episode just go and start a competing podcast oh that's drama that's good so we want to split the audience that we have yeah yes it's already fledgling so kevin has just kevin has just soaked the charged lemonade soaked the tampon in the charge and heade he's putting in his buttock. That's probably why this show resonates with women, I think. Is it Kevin Rose, what it's like to have a tampon in?

In his butt. In his butt like they all do. Now, this could be interesting to talk about. Beckham also played soccer growing up and considers English player David Beckham his childhood idol. And so that explains why he would be Beckham Jr. Oh, now Beckham Jr. That's why he's Beckham Jr.

Oh, interesting. Interesting. You take the junior just if you have the same last name too, right? His soccer club coaches offered Beckham a chance to try out for a junior national team program, but he did not want to spend the required time overseas. So not interested.

So he didn't do it. He's a Patriot. He didn't do that. That makes me like him even more. Now I'm wondering about other juniors. Do you think Wendell Carter Jr. was a big Jay-Z fan? He was a Vince Carter fan. Oh, he was a Vince Carter fan.

That's why he plays basketball. I was a fan of the Magna Carter. The Magna Carter. Magna Carter? Magna Carter, holy grail. This is just me goofing around. What about the Magma Carter? Is that anything?

I don't know. And it's the T-H-A, so it's a Lil Wayne album where where he's made of lava and it's called the magma carter be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language?

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The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not

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They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million, most of that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook did you ever find out what happened in ted 2 yeah what's going on with his cum and everything the original scene depicted brady sleeping in bed as john and ted who is looking for a perfect sperm donor so he can have a baby with his new wife, sneak in and try to steal his seed.

Quote, two MVPs, guaranteed Hall of Famer. Now let's give him a handjob into this cup. The bear says, Brady quickly wakes up and flings the guy from the bears brady quickly brady quickly wakes up and flings ted off his balcony that was a perfect spiral john says in awe that's what he would do original reflexively when he sees when he wakes up the original scene so what's the there's like an added deflate gate joke which was this was filmed before he was exonerated he'd only won two mvps at that point didn't deserve either of those they they they put ted two out there pretty fast the turnaround on that was pretty fast that's what i'm hung up on yeah so they're gonna so their plan was to jack

him off without waking him up yeah to completion yes nocturnal emission is what it's called i don't know if that's what it's called yeah what's the same one that's called nocturnal nocturnal emissions yeah let's work backwards from nocturnal emissions okay like title first the late night game i guess yeah yeah monday night or sunday night football yeah so yeah night games only Thursday Sunday Monday night games this is just like where we only talk about the night games and ideally we find some kind of sensual angle right something that can allow some release for the viewer for the listener what if we only

talked about the night games we left out a crucial detail like the final score and it was called nocturnal omissions okay okay so you're not giving the full picture we edge we edge them by not frustrating them right they can't finish and then the clock winds down and it's going down and then uh they froze the kicker good night they called a time out that's good yeah well that's it but that's great um would amir like that does amir like edging he doesn't want to talk to me about that stuff like i ask him all the time because like yes we have a female fan base, but like we're still guys. We're guys.

At the end of the day, I wanna talk to guys about what they like in the bedroom. I mean. Well we're all in the head gum locker room. Can we at least bro down a little bit? Can we at least figure out what really is our. It's a really uptight locker room. Yeah.

It is, isn't it? Yes. We need to trade for a locker room guy. The culture here is so repressed. Yes. Everyone's got their towels on real tight. No one wants to- I know.

Nobody's got their stuff hanging out. Who's someone we could target at Earwolf who's not talented, but a good locker room guy? Yes. That's interesting just to kind of improve the culture. Well, I'm happy that list people here with more talent.

Like just starting there. Yeah. It's just our naming the names of people. Yeah. Yeah. That don't bring anything to the table. So we could buy low in a trade. I mean, I think we already got the main culprit.

I could go back. Because Kevin is comfortable in the locker room. Yeah, he's... I'm too comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's just always... Kevin's like the old guy at the gym.

With the hair dryer. Would you like an orange slice? Kevin, do you know that there are towels? Yeah. Are you even aware that there's towels in there? I get itchy. Thanks, man. towels yeah it doesn't even aware that there's towels in there i get itchy thanks man it's been worse like a meat like amir like won't play like slice of cutie young man for so long they're so sweet it was like when i marry like when i marry like i'll play grab ass when i'm

married yeah i know but it's worse it's honestly worse now like every time it's like time to start playing grab ass like he's he's like out the door i'm like where did he go he goes to call no because i was out there once he calls he's like is it okay if i play grab ass with the guys like oh does he have a phone voice yeah does he have a different phone voice no it's on the podcast just like oh hey it's me i'm here on my way this is my entire business and just like you know kicking and punching around and it's like the second you hear my may i play grab that sorry i know i said I? You can just feel on the other end. I don't know, can you?

Yes. Oh, yeah. May I play Grabass? Your choice. Could be a, like, this could actually be a bomb ass segment now that I think about it. Like, not this, but like.

You think it could be dank? What's the, like, the thing, like, the best part of the big game is the commercials. Mm. Right? We can't say, we have to call it the big game on the commercials. Right? We can't say, we have to call it the big game on here,

right? Yeah. And that's every, every game like should just be, yeah, the big game. The big game. Yes.

The big game. Yeah. And so like what, like some of the most like funny fucked up, because some of these commercials are actually like so fucked up. Like what, like some of those be like, Oh,

this is like the commercial of the week that like is like so like well that's funny like funny as fuck you know what i mean so like what's some of the commercials right now that you guys are digging on um i don't think it's like funny as fuck it's definitely not like super twisted or anything right on it but and actually and if it could actually be what i what like not the preface being uh i actually don't think it's funny and i said actually like what i asked for and then okay people don't know the difference we just tell them it's good i got one okay it's definitely funny as fuck it's not exactly a commercial, but have you guys seen Killing It on Peacock? Okay.

Is this going to be the example, or is it going to be a commercial? They don't have commercials on Peacock. So you're talking about the show Killing It on Peacock. You said funny as fuck. I did say that, but I did also say the best part of the big game is the commercials. Killing It on Peacock, I don't even think they have commercials for that. Okay, Carl, bring it home. All right, have you guys ever seen Killing It on Peacock?

This man, Craig Robinson, first of all, the most relatable guy. This man, Craig Robinson, big-ass snake around his neck. That's twisted. There's commercials for Killing It it there are commercials for killing it okay even that would be better than just like even an episode of the show but that wouldn't be acceptable either

you're just talking about the show broadly you're talking about the show in such a general way that it's hard for me to in the segment that's about commercials. It has to be commercials that are playing during the big game. Just dumbass commercials. Chantix ain't been the same since Ray Liotta died.

Okay. Okay, that's not really bringing me up in the way that I want. And that was the stop smoking pills. It just ain't been the same since Ray Liotta died. I can't even take the pills no more. dad and saying commercials they used to be good stop smoking stop smoking pills yes yeah yeah it just ain't been the same since really old died i can't i can't even take the pills no more now you don't smoke they don't i don't i started to make it because they give you big said you love the nightmares they give you yeah and then you have to call sean up in the middle yeah talking about the nightmare what about marilyn manson he's twisted he took his real time

what about Marilyn Manson he's twisted took his real Marilyn Manson is not a commercial is he funny whether or not he's funny I think that's open for debate but it is definitely not good buddies with Andy Dick in no way

dream blunt rotation Andy Dick and Marilyn Manson Andy Dick, Marilyn Manson and Ray Liotta I could see him I could see him appearing in a commercial at some point I don't know that he has I could see him being in a like funny ass Geico commercial yeah I was gonna say

Geico's heyday with the Brian Arakpo you know yes he played Scrabble in that and he tackles the board he Brian Arakpo. Yes. Isn't he playing Scrabble in that and he tackles the board? He spells Arakpo on that. I do remember that. What about this? Marilyn Manson, he's ordering at a Chili's and he says, can I get one less rib?

So that would be. So I can suck my own dick? Yes. Yeah. It's easier than Marilyn Manson ordering at a Chili's that would be the Geico commercial and then it would cut to him it's not a Chili's commercial you're right

or Capital One I guess Capital One could do that as well they have a similar thing what's in your stomach one less rib what's in your stomach I'm really concerned about this because i have one less rib i'm not i'm not feeling good not being able to think of one commercial uh that's discouraging for sure the whole george pickens thing travis kelsey driving the way with the tv

that's a commercial yeah okay what's it for it's for a cable tv it's for a it's for a cable tv cutting the cool the tv and drives away oh he's got a funny one where the best of both worlds where he's got the the pfizer commercial where he's like okay we can't be talking about how it's funny like the idea that the shot working is funny. Hilarious. So this dude, this fucking cog, corporate shill, Pfizer boy, is getting a fucking shot.

And his mom comes in and is like, that's not two things. Because you get your booster. Yeah, and your flu. And your flu shot. I haven't seen this one. And your mom is like, oh yeah. Well i haven't seen this one i don't really watch football oh yeah okay well don't say that i'm sorry i just got a picture from a mirror of a

quill and a text that says do you know what this is do you well sounds like he does he said well he said it's a picture of a quill yeah what are you gonna say though what's the right way to play it how should i respond what do you think uh gentlemen we ain't here working it out well why don't you do this so much money dude throw it back on him okay how should i respond what do you think send that send that to this could be a segment because i feel like shows where dudes tell each other what to text what to text oh yeah that's cool. Yes, that's cool. That could be good. I got to take a leak, man. I have a name pitch for that. And I've been pitching this on shows.

A name pitch for the segment about what to text back? Uh-huh. Or about Sean taking a leak. It could be for both. Leading from behind. And didn't you use this for something else recently? I said it could be a question for a presidential debate. I guess I was expecting a title that worked for both.

And that feels like it worked for neither. Leading from behind, you... And I think it works for three. But we only were talking about two. Well, foosball segment leading from behind who do you think's leading from four who do you think's leading from behind on the football field who do you think's leading from behind nocturnal emission style sexually who do you think's leading from behind to text text your boys help you send a perfect text to score the big night.

Who do you think's leading from behind? I have to go potty. I need help. Okay, four. Man, that fucking hedgehog is dead. Was that the first quill pick he sent you? Yes. You're going to have a real smooth. If you get it back, it's going to be real smooth.

They've got a couple hundred. Also, it seems rude that he issued this threat and then pulled a quill before we even recorded another episode of our show yeah that's how we even get that's a war crime yeah that's not like that can't you can't do that no you gotta put this time to put that quill back in there what if you just said yeah what if you said put that back in put that that back in there. That's a segment for you. Put that back in. So many times, and this is, the women will like this. So many times on the football field, the men's penises come out. Too often.

So we can talk about, we usually don't talk about it. It doesn't even feel like an accident at this point. It happens so much. It happens so much. Yeah. The penises come right out of their pants because they're not wearing their cups and we can have a segment called put that back in what did he say to that he sent a smiley face emoji you said how should i respond and he sent a fine i just had a stroke he sent a smiley face emoji yeah he said no kevin said put that back he didn't type in how should i respond did you say

like a bunch of different responses like yeah he said put that back in yeah i said put that back in oh right right and just a smiley face emoji okay all right so he probably did it i think that's amir's shorthand for like that's what she said i think that's what like when yeah when amir uses a smiley face emoji it's it's like you know what he's gonna say now he wants to talk blue but he won't do it in the locker room well that's him like that's as it gets i think yeah that's as blue as it gets and that's what she said as well uh okay so you have to respond to to this now yeah maybe try and like reset and be like, no, I don't know what that is. Can I say knock it off? Okay.

Well, he did knock it off. He knocked off the clip. He just sent another smiley. I think you got to leave him on red for a while. Yeah. I'll turn Reed Receipts off. Coming too thirsty, man. Yeah.

It's like me a Panera. Yeah. That's what they say. So you won't go blue, then you're getting left on the red. Yeah. That's what they say. So you won't go blue, then you're getting left on the red. Yeah. Say that. Probably leave it as a voice note so it's clear that you mean left on red and not left on read. Yes.

Yeah. Kevin has a needle of the supercharged lemonade, and he's looking for a vein. You're going to leave me blue. Siri, you're going to leave me blue. Nope. Nope. Nope. So you won't go blue.

Oh, Siri said no. If you won't go blue, you're getting if you won't go blue you're getting left on red was that it yeah if hey siri don't say it to siri say it to amir hey amir amiri if if you won't go blue i'm leaving you on read no No. He did the question mark. You said it already? I'm worried about this segment too. This is giving me concerns. A lot of the segments so far that we had planned that felt like slam dunks going into this.

Yes. What's that? I'm very discouraged. I guess it's two points. I guess it's safeties. It felt like safeties. But a safety is a bad thing. Depends on...

I mean, a slam dunk's a bad thing too for one team. Depends on who it's happening to. Everything is a bad thing for one of the teams. That's what makes it a competition. It's truly a zero-sum game. Think about that for a second. I going to i'm going to so when i came back from the bathroom we were talking about penises flopping out of the pants and that's

a lot yeah that's crazy in a segment called put that back in there yeah put that back in there yeah i have an alt pitch for that cut for time ah because they're circumcised every NFL player has to be circumcised that's crazy that when you get drafted you have to do it something about like yeah that's why I'll never play that's the only reason too

oh yeah they've been after Kevin come on Kevin please play the NFL Kevin Oh yeah, they've been after Kevin. Kevin, come on! Kevin! Please play the NFL, Kevin. Kevin, please, please, please. Kevin, just try it once. When Kirk Cousins went down,

the Vikings reps were in the studio. They had a moil. They want him to play quarterback, yeah. The Houston Moilers? Buko. They had a moil. They want him playing quarterback. The Houston Moilers. Bucco. Bucco. Bucco.

Bye. We're done. Hollywood Handbook.