Hollywood Handbook - Gavin Matts, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

The Boys welcome GAVIN MATTS to the show try to figure out who he is. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast I'm just looking around like yeah, it's just the fellows here. Can I ask a question to the fellows? Brother you're in the right place So you're with your girl, right? Okay, you lost me All right. Okay, you lost me. Yes. That's where you lost me.

But for real though. No, no, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, you're trying to be, you're trying to be real with us. I actually do have a question. So you're with your girl. Uh-huh, okay. It starts to get a little hot and heavy

and like it's like starting to go down a little bit. I'm not gonna say you lost me, like because I know that I upset you last time. Thank you, because I really do like, yeah, I really just, like, for real. You felt that he was a little bit frustrated when I did that. If we could actually talk about this for real. It's a good opportunity to do it,

but go ahead. Yeah, so you're with your girl and it's like, starting to like, it's like, starting to get a little hot and heavy. Yeah. And you're starting to do your thing a little bit, and you just kinda like spin it like that, and like, just kinda like twist it around a little bit

like that. Spin it, slap it like this, yeah. Play and bop it. You bop, yes, yeah, you bop it a little bit and you just kinda like spin it like that. Just kinda like twist it around a little bit like that. Yeah, slap it like this. Yeah, play it and bop it. You bop, yes, yeah, you bop it a little bit. Yeah. Just a tiny, tiny bop. The littlest bop, you kinda flip it over, you work on it. And then she starts telling you.

That's really his, yeah, she starts telling you what. You're with your girl, she starts telling you to freak her really his, yeah. She starts telling you what. You're with your girl. She starts telling you to freak her blizzonkis. Oh. What do you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of indifferent to the blizzonkis. We've all run into this where,

at sort of the moment of truth, right? Because what we're talking about is, we're probably a couple minutes in, I've finished twice already Yes, somebody telling me to freak their blazon kiss when I'm like and I'm still I'm ready I'm still busying myself, but like it yeah, I'm kind of Flopping around a little bit still but I also say you sound like you know what it is because I didn't know what it was and I still don't. That's kind of what I'm asking about.

You got a non-opinion on the Blazunkist. You're indifferent to it. You also sound like you know what it is. Well, I'm never like aware of it in the moment. I'm kind of being present. So I'm never being like, oh, the Blazunkist. That's the Blazunkist. But it sounds like you, talking about it now.

It means something to you because what I want. I can get to it, but I'm never like trying to be there. But again, but the way you're talking about it now, it means something to you because what I want to get to it, but I'm never like trying to be there. But the way you're talking about it sounds like you know what it is. You have some concept of it. And so what is it? So, cause I say, I wasn't sure if she had said, free Mike Blasunkis.

Yeah. Which we should do. But why are we talking about this now? I think that I on the same page. I think he deserves a presidential pardon. Mike Blasunkis. Mike Blasunkis. That's a wrong place, wrong time kind of thing.

I'm out there at City Hall, I had the sign. But what I do, hey, is, and you can use this, and I don't think it's gonna help as much as whatever Gavin can do for you, is I go like, oh no, no way I give you that much pleasure. Okay. Like, because I then you that much pleasure. Okay. Like, because I then. Okay, free your girl.

Try to turn it into some kind of like, it's like a playful like. We might have to go to City Hall and free Sean's girl. Free Sean's girl. Free the mother of his children. I go, freak your own Blizzunkis, I wanna watch. Damn. Now that's good. Yes, that's cool

Or I could say like at least motion towards it. I want to watch you at least motion towards where it is Yeah, I go. That's my thing is oh, I go You don't actually know what what it is. No, when she asked me to do that. You're kind of like Oh, I know what that is. So I'm sorry, I thought I explained that pretty clearly. But you do seem to know what I was getting at. I kind of got a guy like me, definitely, yeah. So my question was like, even just a basic, is it a part, is it something else that I have to go get?

It's almost like mantra-esque, like you can feel it and you know it. Okay, this is that David Lynch TM thing. Yeah, it's David Lynch kind of getting down with your girl kind of style. I'll just be trying to talk to someone that like the David Lynch TM stuff will come up. I know, I know.

It sounds fine, but it's just like. I'm not gonna tell you my mantra. I tried to guess someone's mantra once they got fucking pissed. Well, you sure wanted to guess? I guessed, well, I guessed twice, and that was when they really got mad. My first guess was like, oh, let me guess, it's Zomzo.

They were like, no, it's not Zomzo, and I was like, oh, then it must be Bimidoo. And then they got mad. And they were like, just don't, just, which means I got it right. So it sounds like you got really close. You either got it exactly right, or you were getting really, really close.

I was getting so close that they were like, if he was one more guess. You were gonna get it on the next one, probably. When I'm in LA and I'm guessing mantras, it's kinda, you kinda just go for the zip zap. So who are you, sorry. Yeah, thank you, cause I was actually trying to enjoy

the conversation with the fellas. And I'm starting to get. Oh, you realize I maybe wasn't one of the fellas. I said, I, look, I don't know. I thought you were one of the fellas. The way you talk about the Blasank kiss. It seems like you get down, but I Don't know who this is yes, and that's fine. That doesn't bother me. I don't care fuck you are I hey we gotta do a show so yes, and like this is actually yep back to our roots a little bit

Having someone. All the time, we'd get somebody booked and we'd just sort of like, all right. Just kind of fall off a turnip truck. Yeah. Oh, well let me just say like, if you knew like Blazunkis and stuff like that, you would probably be on the same level

to where you would know who I was. But we're not talking about that anymore. So you're like, that's what we talked about at the beginning. You know what I mean? But I do think it is a perfect analogy. But we're not discussing it anymore. That's over. Okay, we're moving on, I'm good. Who are you?

What, what is it that you do? Yeah, how did we kind of end up here? I kind of do a little bit of everything, but on a level that maybe you would have no yet. No, this actually is the bull's eye, cause the thing all over the place. Well, I thought it was just cool to be on, just you guys kind of breaking another underground artist.

So that is, that is cool. That is a cool thing to do. People come in here, they fall off the turnip truck. They are just like posting their shit and they're just like wandering in the meetings and they're making a list here and there. Yeah, they're hustling I guess. I've been on a list.

What list were you on? Mm-hmm. Not the vulture list. Tell me it's not the vulture list. I didn't ask to be on it. They didn't really give me a choice in the matter, you know? Kevin, can you turn my headphones down? This vulture list, guys.

Are you one of these should and will guys? Would and no. Huh? Should and, yeah, could and will. Could and have. Could and have no. Comedians, you could and have no. Every press is bad press.

I'm starting to wonder about that myself. It was a little too mainstream for me to honestly wanna be on. But as you're an underground artist. I'm kinda underground. Like the turnip. Yeah, like a turnip. No wonder you ended up in the turnip truck.

Yeah. They dug you out with a trowel. What about this for a saying? And this would be like if I worked in a factory or something. All press is drill press. Uh-huh. Could that be something that people say?

Drill press I know about. At the factory for sure. With your girl. Right? What is your name? Gavin. Gavin. Gavin. Gavin.

Are we just doing the? Gavin Matz. Gavin Matz. No, Gavin isn't a cool enough name to have a last name. Gavin Matz. Well, I know that. We've already got it. We've already got a pretty big Gavin.

Which one? Rossdale. DeGraw. Gavin Mat Which one? Rossdale. DeGraw. Gavin Matz. Havin Gatz. I've heard them all. You've heard that one. You've heard Havin Gatz. I heard that. What other one did you hear?

Mavin Fatz. Why did you hear that? Someone said it. Mavin Fats. And I'm an active listener. And now he's thinking, and he's gonna give you one that you haven't heard. It's gotta be really, it's gotta be really absurd. Probably. Because I have to kinda go

away from all of the typical minds that you've encountered and come up with something that's truly crazy. Gavin Batts. Boom. That was too crazy. That was one of the crazier ones I have heard. You're right, you're not a typical mind. Yeah.

I am happy to be here. I don't know how I ended up here like you were saying, but. Who else was on the Vulture list For that year. Oh here was this 2024 okay, thank you. Yeah, it was recent. All right. Yeah, I'm not holding on to that credit. Okay, I'd let it go next year Well, we were on a wall. They're gonna make you be ours ago. We talk about it. Yeah, Malik al-assal He was on it but I don't touching that a meal walk-in He was on it, but we don't. Not even touching that. Emile Joaquin, two friends.

Neither of them are here though. There is one, or they're just friends with each other and they got to be with us. I'm also friends with them. I would say they're one of the fellows if I was around them. Talk about having friends. It's nice and they live near me

and that brings me a lot of peace. Okay. So you're out there, you're doing what? and they live near me, and that brings me a lot of peace. Okay. So you're out there, you're doing what? You're doing all different things? Come on, Gavin. Yeah, a little bit of everything, Gavin. Just say what you're doing.

I mean, I'm kind of like a stand-up kind of purist, but I also write and I do some acting. Okay. Yeah. What is it about just like standing there and talking about your little things that makes you all think that you can inhabit some other character?

What is it about that that caused that to occur to you? Hey, I go up and I do the, I'm just me every night. I'm me and I tell my little stories. Yeah, I can go, now be anyone else, because I'm just going up and I'm just doing me every night. I know I have a right, I have an inalienable right to be whatever I want. Oh, you know, I'm kind of aiming to just kind of play myself.

Do you see, okay. Okay, all right. And I just sort of wonder how you would. So this is what it is though, Hayes, if I could say it is you're standing up there doing your little thing and you're going, this should be a TV and movies. Yes, yeah.

Oh, what I'm doing right now is actually movies. I never actually thought that. You say you wanna play yourself. TV and movies should just come to me. Well, because I see other people playing themselves and I say, well say well that I don't Know how I feel about them. Oh Well, you see other people just playing themselves. You're like I could play myself

I just sort of wonder how you would feel playing themselves that you don't hate it about Spencer William Fritchner Yeah, great if William Fritchner showed up playing himself. You obviously haven't met him he shows up to the scum hole or wherever you perform. And he, he does a drop in and he comes in and he does you. I would love to see that. He does Gavin. He performs Gavin Matz. He's up there doing bits and goofs. Is that what you do?

Kind of thoughts. Kind of just like not well thought out thoughts that don't go anywhere. It sounds so un-booked. It sounds terrible to me, but this is what I could have known. I'm a classic purist stand-up. Okay, so you're feeling like it's not, the stand up is just a way to break into other forms of performing. It's not gonna be stand up in the long term. It's something of a Trojan horse, is it?

It's a little bit of a Trojan horse. It's a bit of a Trojan horse, Gavin. But I actually never thought about doing anything else. I was kind of just like, I'm gonna do stand up when I started to do it. Okay. And then you eventually realized- And like the culture list,

people demanded that you do other things. stand up when I started to do it. OK. And then I and then I and then you like the culture less people demanded that you do other things. Just the force of your. And I didn't want to even be on that. I want to do any of it. No, of course not. OK, that's actually that's all. I kind of just want to stay and just do stand up.

And is that what happens because I'm out here? I've been like, I was like, let me try. I want stuff. Let me try to get it. And I keep meeting people like you who are like, I fell ass backwards into it. I just haven't a half thought. And then everybody's like, wanna be on the movie show?

And my thing is basically going into meetings and panting. And how does that work? How does that kind of go? If I'm the executive, what does that look like? You wanna be the executive? I was gonna be the executive. I could be the assistant. Okay, well let him be the executive.

No, you be the executive, Hayes, you be Hayes. I could be anything, you know what I mean? This guy's an incredible performer. I'm a character actor, but I only do one character. Okay, so this'll be, okay, so this'll be Hayes. So that is actually what, they should be called characters actor Characters actors would be the better. Yeah characters actor you are a character actor

Yeah, character actor is just one. I don't even know myself sometimes. I mean, this is the view all over again. This is Always comes back to that doesn't it? We just always end up back talking about the view, which should really be called the views. Should be called the views. Okay. It should be called the views because they actually have multiple people on there and they don't really align all the time. A lot of stuff is like that. I'm not afraid it shouldn't be called

Good Mornings America. Oh yeah. Oh, oh yeah. Oh yeah, it should be called Good Mornings America. And it should be called Americans Got Talents. Because it's not just America's Got Talent. No, it's not America as an entity. Because it's not every American doesn't have a talent.

And it's not one talent either. Americans Got Talents. Sometimes they're spinning things on fingers and toes. Okay, in this panting. And who are you again? Well, I was hoping someone could help me with that because we got already detected there. Someone, for me, when I go into the meetings,

the water is a big part of it, the offering the water. So someone is gonna have to be having the water. But that's happening it, the offering the water. So like someone is gonna have to like be having the water conversation. But that's happening in the waiting room, no? It's extending into the meeting. Okay, so I'll be in the waiting room. I'll be in the waiting room. You're not in yet, cause he's gotta come in to see you.

So hey, as you come into the lobby. Yeah. All right, and I'm here, and then I'm gonna bring you in to see Mr. Gavin. Okay. Hey, I'm here to see Mr. Gavin, the executive. Oh, sorry, sorry. Who are you? Can I have your name?

I'm Hayes Davenport. I do a bunch of different stuff. I write, I also perform, I'm a podcaster. Okay, I'll let Mr. Gavin know you're here. Okay, have a seat, you can have a Okay, I'll let Mr. Gavin know you're here. Okay, have a seat, you can have a seat. I'll let Mr. Gavin know you're here. Can I get you a water or anything to drink? That would be amazing, yeah, thank you so much.

Do you have it right now? Do you have any more? Thank you for giving me the water. I was panting so much, it just kind of slid right off my tongue, like a slide, like a water slide. Okay, Mr. Gavin will see you now. And then it lights out for me in the lobby. When you're panting like that, even doing it right now.

Well, what you know is, as I'm taking you in to see Mr. Gavin, I have sent a signal already to Mr. Gavin. Okay. As the person in the lobby. Yeah. I'm actually sending a signal to his screen and I'm letting him know, this guy pants too much.

Hey, it's Gavin. The traveling pants. Is my 10, is my 10 10 30 p.m. Here. I Don't know how late these meetings go. Yeah, he's yeah, okay, cuz you're an underground guy like yeah Basically the skeebie-jeebies of of meetings. Yeah, I'm going after the rest of the town goes to sleep I'm at vice underground. I'm a vice TV Jesus I'm at vice TV. I'm saying what kind of dog a documentary series could we do? You know what that should be called? What first of all should be called vices?

And TVs and secondly Why don't we call it advice? Advice, advice. Right. Wow, you kind of cooked. You cooked with that. I well, I ate. Yeah, you ate, you cooked and you ate that. I cooked it.

Just while we're here. You might get it should be Gavin Matt. Yeah, there's only one. While we're here. You're not wrong. Yeah, I'm gonna get myself. Yeah, there's only one. Just while we're here. You're not wrong. Yeah, I'm guilty of myself. And I've gotta get to you. Yeah, I was thinking, maybe we put an apostrophe

in between the T and the S. Because Matt, maybe Matt belongs to me. Well, no, that's not what that would mean at all. No, because that would be possessive in favor of that. Not one bed is what that would mean. It could be Gavin's Matt. You're right. There was no question of whether you don't even have

to say you're right. There was never any question of who was right or wrong in that scenario. It was up in the air. But it used to be you go into these meetings and they'd wanna see panting, they wanna see a hustler. They don't wanna see that anymore. I think this type of energy, this underground energy,

is more what they're looking for. I don't even ask for water. When I was growing up, Stiffler was doing pushups in the waiting room of the audition and that's how he got the job. This guy's doing pushups in the waiting room? He's gotta be Stifler's. Now what happens is you'd be better off being asleep,

which I think Stifler also is at this point, but you'd be better off being asleep in the waiting room, which is basically the energy I'm feeling from you. You go down, lie on the couch energy from me. That's what I'm getting, yeah. I thought the waiting room was dead. So there's no waiting room anymore? I kind of just walk in right in time

and I make sure that I don't have to sit anywhere. I'm not here to hang out with who's this person developing. So you're talking about these meetings. What are they, are they circling any particular type of projects? I haven't gotten one in a while, so just let me know what happens. For you, what are we meeting on? Yeah.

Just kind of like, I got like six things. One sheets. Let me see if I have any meetings coming up You have six things And more than one of them is a one sheet How many? Since there are six of them. That's my as you have one six sheet. I have a half sheet, too That's my issue, I have one six sheet. I have a half sheet too.

Okay. Yeah. So you have maybe two one sheets and one half sheet. Yeah and they're all kind of like maybe this person and me. Okay, right. Maybe me, Tiffy Simon. Oh you've got some creative pairings. So you're a qualm.

Yeah, I'm kind of trying to. Tim Simons did you say? Yeah, I'm like, who works well with me and me? Do you know, let's call him. You know Tim Simons? Not at all,, I'm like, who works well with me and me? Do you know, let's call him. You know Tim Simons? Not at all, but I just think we would kind of bounce off each other while. Let's get him in here.

We can at least leave a voicemail. Yeah. It's me, Tim Simons. We work at a repossession company. We repossess stuff, not just cars. That's getting ahead of what their question is gonna be. Oh, well, just cars? Exactly.

No, ma'am. No, sometimes jewelry, anything like a deck. Hey, Tim Thames, please leave a message. Hey, hey, Tim, hey Tim, it's Sean Clements. Sorry to leave you a voicemail like this. I know people feel they're intrusive. I'm recording the podcast. I'm here with a standup named Gavin Matts.

Pretty underground. He's kind of an underground artist, but he was on Vulture's list of comedians you could and have known. And we were asking him what he's up to, what's next, and he was saying that he had some creative pairings for different TV shows he was pitching. One of them was him with you.

He kind of pulled your name. I don't know if it was comedic that he pulled your name out of the air, but he said your name, so I figured I'd call you up. What was the, was it a repo company? Or yes. He's kind of been dropping your name around town like Johnny Appleseed.

Yeah, me and you, we just repo stuff. Okay. But it's scripted, it's narrative. It's a narrative show, it's scripted. I have a half sheet. Is it serialized, heavily serialized? Heavily serialized. So he's got a half sheet on it.

That means it's got marshmallows in it. Anyway, I mean, I know you're busy obviously, but this seems like a big opportunity for maybe all of us. So give me a call back whenever. Love you. See, things like that just work out for me. I didn't know that God- And in what sense did, oh, that you end up

getting a voicemail in their phone? Yeah. You just start talking, you just, that's manifestation. Right? Manifestation. You just start saying their name and now. Voicemails are the original manifestation. And now you're inside their phone.

Call me back. They did. Who did? When you leave a voicemail. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm hoping that we do get that call back. Could be pretty big. I mean, he'm hoping that we do get that call back. Could be pretty big. I mean, he's on a big show right now. You've seen this.

Uh, nobody wants this, but that's already out. So he's looking probably for other things. He's a hustler. Yeah. They're going to do another season of it. Uh, I think it could be great. He's confused because that's what they wrote on his one sheet. Well, well, I was going to say, yeah, that title really could have gone the other

way, but man, it's gotta feel so good that nobody used it against them. So Gavin, you are, it sounds like the direction you're going, we're talking about Netflix is more of a like the the Gillis maneuver right just like if your repo guys guys that you know get their hands dirty mm-hmm work in the shop a little bit of a blue-collar yes philosopher yeah you hadn't thought of that at all you honestly went in and pitched that and you did not you were saying me as a Yeah. You hadn't thought of that at all. You honestly went in and pitched that and you did not.

You were saying me as a repo guy. You didn't see that as a comp. Yeah, I was kind of, I'm kind of woke. You know what I mean? And he, and Tim, Tim is like, not woke. Okay. And I'm woke. Oh, and the show you're woke and Tim is like.

So we kind of have these like super crazy like car Michael show level Conversation that's your bow race car Michael and And your name is a real guy could be car Michael. Yeah. Yeah Well, it's not it's not it's not just cars. Okay Well, that's interesting. Like what the non-woke guy say? Just deflecting success at every turn. Just shooing it away. As you go to repo like-

The Carmichael Show, no thanks. No, it can be Carmichael Show and then in brackets. What's your title? Not just cars. What's your title? It's Untitled Gavin Matt's project. That's exciting to me. And that's exciting to a lot of people that have seen the Vulture List. Guys, your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy. You don't have time to go to a doctor's office to get treated for ED. Through HIMS, you can get a personalized

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Banking services are provided by Piermont Bank member FDIC. Found's core features are free. They also offer an optional paid product, Found Plus. Sign up for Found for free today at F-O-U-N-D.com slash the boys and tag yourself. What if you went to repo, like a doll collection, something like this, and then the woke guy is going like, I think it's good that this adult man has all these dolls. You know what I mean? But then the sort of, the Tim Simons character is like,

no, it's bad. Yeah, why, and then maybe the guy has like a doll that's like a different race than he is. Well, that's what obviously ends up happening. The doll collection, the woke guy said it was good, but they're all they're probably gonna be Asian dolls So just like if the show is happening and now you're like fetish. Yeah, could we actually not? Can we actually cut all this stuff so that I can use that? so

No one's gonna hear it Gavin. Okay, the show has a baseline of like a Small number of listeners and then when we have a guest that even we haven't heard of, there's actually a dip. Really? Oh, cause I was hoping you'd get maybe like 30 to 50 followers from this. We end up incurring like a listener debt

that we have to pay off in the next episode. We dig a little hole for ourselves. If you look at the graph, there's like this low number of listeners, and then when the dip happens. We gotta make that up. Yeah, we actually owe listeners. Oh, Kevin didn't mention any of graph.

I wouldn't have brought anything anyway, or maybe looked at it, but it would have been good to know about, but I am sorry about that. It's fine. It's what it is. I mean, as long as we make our nut at the end of the day, like we're good.

And so if we're talking about projects, if we're talking about like what we can kind of stand up out of this conversation, always looking for the next sign field, right? Yeah. And so. There hasn't been one for quite some time. Since Malini.

Yeah. On NBCs. And I think it's always a question of assembling the crew. Right? Should be ABCs. Right? They have multiple kind of channels you can go to. You can watch SNL early, you know what I mean?

And they should trade it with the song, it should be Now I Know My ABC. Can we talk about this? That's just one. The number of apps that NBC has is like, there's an NBC app, there's an NBC sports app. Mm-hmm. I think there's a third one.

Peacock. But hang on. Oh, sorry. Jesus. What I'm getting to is, the NBC app, what is the- Did you do this, you're a stand-up. Pull this up. Oh, sorry. Jesus. What I'm getting to is the NBC app, what is the- Did you do this? You're a stand up.

Pull this up. The NBC app, what is the image? It's the colorful peacock feathers. The NBC sports app, it just says sports in like sort of a script writing, and it says NBC above and it's got the peacock feathers. Then they have one app that's called Peacock. What's the image? The word peacock at four dots.

This is a graphic design fucking face plant. This is one of the biggest failures in visual branding of our lifetimes. They have the peacock symbol on all their other apps look the NBC logo and then peacock that's so fucking stupid it's like constantly don't mind your note and they're like okay okay we'll add more dots put the fucking feathers on it that's a fucking picture of a peacock on the NBC logo. It's such a hardcore fail. Gavin, can you fix this in one of these meetings

you walk into? Yeah, I mean, since I don't really, I guess slowly learning from like kind of Hayes' criticism is that I don't really have anything to give to people, so maybe I can help on the graphic design. Well yeah, walk in and go like, hey, you know, you think you're here to help me, I'm actually here to help you,

I'm gonna save this company. Yeah, I go in, I talk to Lorne Michaels, I break into 30 Rock, I go up there. Grabbin'. Yeah. And it's kinda like, hey, show about nothing, right? One of the biggest shows ever. You're looking at nothing right here. Mm-hmm It doesn't get less than this and that that could kind of that could hit for some people right?

Oh my god, you could trick but it's really about assembling the crew. Isn't it? So we got Tim Syvitt locked up He's locked in Tim's in let me try to call him again And I could see him, you him exuding a little bit of Mike Richards down the hall. That's ringing. It didn't ring last time. I know. This is how bad of a guest I am.

You made two. That we have to call other guests. Yeah. Hey, reach Tim Simmons, please leave a message. No, we haven't. Maybe. Hey Tim, Sean Clements again. I just saw that you didn't answer last time

and I was wondering if that was maybe a mistake. Anyway, still doing the show. Gavin has an interesting pitch. I know you don't know him, but. So he would be woke, you wouldn't be. And then, you know, remember how Saifah was a show about nothing? I think his pitch is kind of like,

this show could be about less than nothing. Like it might not even be on. All right, call me back, I love you. Yeah, and maybe there's an episode where like we're not even be on. Hey, call me back, I love you. Yeah, and maybe there's an episode where like we're not even there. Like it's just kind of like the set kind of filmed. You know, maybe a wind breeze. Well, what if we're just following other characters?

Oh, I like that. Master of some. Why don't we give some of these other characters. Master of some. Low maintenance. Low maintenance. Low maintenance. Low maintenance, master of some. Sign fold. But who are these other characters?

I mean, like all you've mentioned is Tim Simons. Love Tim Simons. You talk about your other, you know, like your. It really makes me laugh. You're talking about the fellas. I like having two tall white guys on the show. Who else? He's a little taller though, which is nice,

cause then it kind of makes for you. It puts up in the air, how tall is this guy? Wait, is this guy shorter or is Tim just really tall? Exactly. Who are these other fellas? The fellas are in there? Maybe Conan runs a cafe. Oh my God.

If we wanna go the tall route. Okay, let me call Conan too. Conan runs a cafe. Oh my god. If we wanna go the tall route. Okay, let me call Conan too. Conan runs a cafe, and you're repo guys, and you're going to a cafe? Well, it's like a classic cafe, and Conan has a Boston accent. What do you mean, a classic cafe? It's like, it's like.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? It's a classic cafe, and Conan has a Boston accent. I don't know why I keep getting sold on this like I know it's not a good idea but I want to see what distinguishes it a cafe from a classic cafe that repo guys are going to the classic cafe. Well, because the barista played by Conan, also owner barista, Boston accent. That makes it classic. The accent, it's not like some millennial making me a matcha latte.

It's not a fancy French cafe, right? Yeah, it's Conan and he's giving you coffee black. And it's Boston accent It's the kind of cafe where it feels like they might have crossed out tearia on the end of it Yeah, and they have jokes on the bathroom door What are they like gender jokes which my character obviously not okay with because I'm like all gender should be asked to hold it Till he gets home because he can't use the bathroom there because he's so offended by the jokes. So he's always going there.

I gotta know more about the jokes. Would you like a huge iced tea? And he's like, I really can't. What are the jokes though? Well the joke is that- Because here in this meeting you can't just be like, it's gender jokes. Well it's like, say it's like,

it's only one bathroom, you know what I mean? And you go in and it's solo and you lock it. Okay. But on the front it says all genders are welcome, but it's like yeah, it's like Anyone can just go in there. It's not like a man or it's not gendered. It's not a gendered bathroom There's just one toilet one urinal in there So you go in and lock it and then so we have a conversation about that. It's like yeah The front says all genders are welcome. Yeah, but then it's only. And that's a joke. But it's just a urinal. Yeah, this is the kind of stuff you're gonna get with this show.

It's very, it's a very subdued joke. I think it's funny. Well, it is actually sort of lynchian as well, and we're back around to some of this TM stuff. It's so, wait, it's. I think it's really good. And you're upset about the joke? Yeah, I'm just saying it doesn't make sense, it's like, eh, it's... I think it's really good. And you're upset about the joke? Yeah, I'm just saying it doesn't make sense.

It's like, eh, eh, eh. Oh my God. Subdude is a good title too. Subdude. Or maybe Tim sees it and his character's name is like Tim. And... We've been trying to get Kevin on something, sorry. I just like, I'm just kind of hearing

Kevin vibing with this. Yeah. And like, we're talking about assembling the crew, right? All we have is Tim Simons, who's not woke, and Conan, the barista. And Tim has a conflict as well. Yes, that's right. We have to shoot him out.

We're gonna have to shoot him out because if he's doing a second season, if nobody wants this. We gotta shoot Tim's coverage first, and then we have to write the scripts. They do that for Gary Oldman on slow horses so it can be done. So you walk into the meeting, you go,

we're gonna slow horses this thing. I always say, let me stop you. We're gonna slow horses this thing. Let me stop you, we're gonna slow horses this thing. We're doing horse hours. And keep in mind, they actually don't know what I'm talking about. I know. And they don't know what's coming next. So to say we're gonna slow horses them,

this is a show that's won an award for writing. And so they know this is about to be. And keep in mind the fundamental premise of your idea. Pretty similar. Keep in mind the fundamental premise of your idea pretty similar keep in mind it's actually similar keep in mind what exactly what you were saying keep in mind part of it okay thanks we'll do the fucking guy I'm selling this in the room if we have if we have space for Kevin for us that could be meaningful just we have been looking Kevin, for us, that could be meaningful. Because we have been looking for something

to kind of match Kevin up with and sort of de-match him from this. Okay, well maybe Kevin can play my character and I can just be kind of like an ensilier-ary, however you say that character on the show. You're, okay. I can play like a different guy. So we're still having to come up with a character.

It's Incel Larry. Oh, Incel Larry. That's a good actually character name for maybe the character I could be playing on the show. And this is in the first version or the character that you're taking? Kevin is gonna be with Tim now. Yeah, maybe we just have that character be Gevin.

Yeah. Gevin. Gevin. Or Kevin could maybe be like a dog. I think his name should be Larry, for what I'm working at. Which is Incel Larry, which is like a much darker version of Curb. Well, Gavin is gonna play Incel Larry.

Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe Kevin can, and he's incel Larry and that he's in a dog costume in my mind. Okay. He could be in a dog costume, but in my mind. Are we gonna Wilbur this thing? I don't know what that is. I don't know why.

That was the comp you were thinking of? No, I just. Is it Wilfred? Wilbur Wilfred Wilbur Wilbur's fine Just everyone knows what you know when you say it's like Wilbur everyone is gonna Think about the dog costume. I don't know what that is thing So you were just bringing up a dog him wearing a dog costume I mean a dog in your mind you don't know about Wilbur It's probably before my time then I didn't know I thought it was original clean idea

Maybe you could be a cat then if there's somebody already did that and you don't know about Wilbur. It's probably before my time then. I didn't know, I thought it was original, clean idea. Maybe he could be a cat then if there's somebody already did that. Maybe somebody wants to be a cat. People like cats nowadays. People stay home more and more. Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess that's happening.

Ever since COVID, everyone's loving cats. And the show's titled Untitled Gavin Matt's Project. Yeah. But now we have Kevin playing. Right, I'm kind of fifth on the call sheet now. Your guy. Yeah. Okay.

But it's not untitled because I'm in the show, it's because I kind of do a little bit of all kinds of different things. Just for set building and stuff, do the repo guys, I mean, they're going to the classic cafe. Do they have? It's all on location. Like a home base?

Jesus, okay. Doesn't seem necessary at all. Budget wise. Where does it film? Like where do you see it just for production? Like, are we doing this thing in Canada? Is it? In a meeting.

That'd be nice. Is it Canada for Tehran? Yeah, it's for Tehran. If you have a meeting about this and they ask you a basic question of like where is the show set, I think you should try to tilt your head to the side maybe 20 degrees less.

Ask me again Where is the show set? Where is the show set? That's right. Nice. Yeah, that's any major city any any major city But a set maybe any major secondary city like a Chicago Okay, and what is it about? Boston You say it like that too like you're kind of unsure Like a Chicago. OK. And what is it about? Boston. You say it like that, too, like you're kind of unsure of what city like you've thought about it, but not completely.

There's a vocal fry that only exists for city names. Austin. Austin. Austin. OK. London. If you do London, I have a great character for you. Okay, well, we gotta hear it at least.

I just have the name and their relationship. Sherlock Holmes. If it's in London, I have an incredible character name for you and I don't know what he does. It should just be Sherlock. That's good, Sherlock Holmes and he's really good at like figuring out how to repossess something That's good Homes is a repo man

And often was it why does he always have to be a fucking detective yeah That's a good idea. He has like amazing powers of deduction used for taking people's things. He can figure out exactly where this person who's like delinquent on their payments is storing their stuff. Yeah. I feel like you guys are really coming around on- You did nothing.

We're not coming around to heaven brought us Sherlock Holmes I guess you brought us a London. He brought us. No. No, we didn't even bring one. I'm here I was bouncing these I haven't said that he had a character idea. You said Sherlock Holmes Mm-hmm, and then someone else said Sherlock as a repo guy that I think that was unfortunately, Kevin, but I... I mean, I'm just in the room. I'm kind of like an open book. You're bouncing any ideas off me.

They're sticking and then, you know what I mean? This is what happens in those meetings you wanted to know and you've completely come around on me. Beginning, you're like, who the fuck is this? And now you're like, I was really against this're like now I was a little bit after this maybe now we have a show that's like ready Like from the comedian you could know Vulture 2024 from the insane mind Can you do so just as I've already seen you like process information?

This is mainly what Sherlock Holmes does, and the head tilt thing. We're not gonna be able to go in there with, we have Sherlock Holmes and when he's trying to figure something out, he goes, hmm. Oh, Austin. So we're gonna be, yes, both hands, both hands on the forehead.

It's very painful for Sherlock Holmes to figure stuff out. Squeezing your head. Yes, both hands, both, both hands on the forehead. It's very painful for sure. Like, squeezing your stuff out. Squeezing your head. No, I really don't wanna repossess people's stuff. No, he's trying to figure out, it's him deducing information. He doesn't, he's not grappling with it.

And he can be with like a Tim Simons type, I guess. Yeah, he plays the other. Who is like Monk's friend. Like who's like- Little more normal. Can't live with him, can't live without him. Boy, he sure is good at figuring stuff out. And I go- I hate talking to this guy

and I hate being around him. This freaky genius. Yeah. So many ticks and bad habits, but at the end of the day, it's the only way we're gonna get back that precious dog collection. And sometimes maybe I go, I love that guy,

but he hates me. Your Sherlock Holmes? Okay, now they already did another Sherlock, they did little girl Sherlock Holmes. They've done a few of them. That's Enola. That's, yes. And so we do have to figure out another name for,

and this is kind of like. Can I pitch something? Yeah, okay. Big J. Bloakerson. Oh my God. Is that the one you had before? Yes. Okay.

This isn't it, but just to get us rolling, because you wanted to do animal suits before, it could be Squirrel Lock Homes. Squirrel Lock Homes. I was going to say Steve Lock Homes. Because it's like a kind of, this is like an American. it could be squirrel loc homes. Squirrel loc homes. I was gonna say Steve loc homes. Cause it's like a kind of, this is like an American. And the squirrel is in my mind. We have kind of gotten away from that. But yeah, there's someone in a squirrel suit in your mind. And so that could be the way we illustrate you figuring things out is the squirrel is like running

and hitting different switches and things. Like we show them in basically like a maze that is representative of like your complex mind. But this is like a blue collar Sherlock Holmes, right? So if we're staying on this, instead of going into your mind palace, you go into your mind trailer. Where it's filled with squirrels.

It's filled with squirrels. Yeah. Yeah. And like the zodiac killer Okay, and I'm kind of like What's the accent? I? Think we might What do you have in the in the chamber? Yeah, I want to play anything I know we have nothing I can really because you did come up with the one-liner

Nothing, you can really do you have No, nothing. I can really do nothing you can do on a podcast. Yeah you can really do. You have access? You have access? No, nothing I can really do on the podcast. Nothing you can do on a podcast, yeah. Cause you do wanna go to SNL ultimately. Yeah. Okay. And the best way to get SNL

You don't wanna take the shortcut. Is one particular podcast, one particular accent. Right, that's right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, it can't be British. I can do some like Liverpool, like, you know what I mean?

Something like that. I get a dialect coach, of course. Mm-hmm. And were you saying Liverpool? Liverpool. Yes. Liverpool. We're the Beatles' love. Okay.

It's really good. The premise is really good. Repo guy Sherlock Holmes. He's like the blue collar American Sherlock Holmes. He's a genius. He works with just kind of like a more everyday. And I go around and I'm like, give me back that Mclaren love. It's starting to feel sort of like, what, Caribbean or something am I?

Well, I spent a month in Jamaica. Okay. The character, not me, I've never been. But I wanted to add kind of depth I guess in the moment your character spent a month in Jamaica and came back talking like that forever it comes out sometimes the Tim call back when he's upset give me back that McLaren love. Oh my god. We have to go. We have to go.

Bye. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a HeadGum Podcast.