Hollywood Handbook - Get Played, Our Video Game Friends
Episode Date: January 4, 2022The Boys welcome back NICK WIGER, HEATHER ANNE CAMPBELL, and MATT APODACA from the podcast Get Played to make a new video game. Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFl...agrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
this is a head gum podcast
so you know how long i've been looking for the next great british rapper
well yeah i mean i know because i tried to help at the beginning and you told me that i have
and i quote no ear for british rap and so it's one of the meanest things you've ever said to
me in our long partnership which is actually a compliment to how kind we are to one another
and this is me actually at the time and this is actually a compliment to how kind we are to one another and this is me actually at the time
and this is actually me coming to you hat in hand because of an experience that i had last week so i
am i'm out to like a bunch of different guys who are kind of like scouting for me and i get a call
from one of these guys and he's like just like show up to the studio i'm gonna send this guy
there and just like lay something down and you are like i think
you're gonna like what you hear like okay like of course like i'm so yeah and so i go and this
this guy shows up his name is chav scouse and he he's wearing a huge like puffy coat and he's grimy he's like caked in grime yeah perfect
so i'm like okay at the look right okay maybe this is gonna work this might sound good he
shuffles in he's very small he shuffles in goes into the booth puts his headphones on and he's like getting like he's just
standing there for a minute and then he goes oh could you turn the bloody headphones down right
and i'm like what so just bloody headphones are so loud and i'm like what this bloody headphones are so loud i'm about to
he's about to punch a hole in the bloody eardrums
they're like oh okay and i look they're on like the headphones are on like a on six yep
so it's not and also no one has said anything since he turned them on
except when i said what just the feedback or something
yes i said okay i turned down to three he goes still too bloody loud right
okay and so i tried just like turning it off it's like oh that's class mate
he needs no headphones,
so then he can't. And you can't respond to him
when he says that.
Because I said, what? You're welcome, yeah.
And I had to listen back later for what he said. He said
it was class. He's like, oh,
this volume's class.
And so I'm like, okay.
He's like, drop the beat for me,
will you, love?
Again, not something i i like and he won't be able to hear the beat well oh yeah because even before this he was like what about your bloody headphones right there's so loud i can hear him all the way
it's hurting my ears no you can hear my headphones from in this right it sounds like chav scouse yeah
is very sensitive yeah chav chav scouse is very sensitive chav scouse to i guess white noise
basically yes and so i'm like okay i turn my headphones down to zero oh that's class
drop the beat for me will you love don't hear it i don't do anything
he's like all right who's gonna come around out here chopper chopper
i don't know what's called cropper when i put my hand in my mouth it's mingin when i see the
lorry i am singing i'm gonna put your eye in the enemy, it's minging. When I see the lorry, I am singing.
I'm going to put your eye in an enemy stew.
I'm going to come around with my witch's brew.
Oh, that's sorted.
And again, I can't hear any of this.
My headphones are off.
I just see that he's starting to walk out of the booth and then out of the studio.
How is this winding around to like an apology to me because i realize that like if this is if this is what british rap is then i don't
have an ear for british rap all along if this is what it is i listened back to it i was like
this is okay i couldn't really understand most the first two things he
said i couldn't understand at all he said when i put my hand in my mouth it's mingin
which means i guess it means like disgusting oh okay then he said when i see the lorry i am
singing uh-huh i don't know what that...
Laurie's like a bus, I think.
Maybe Hugh Laurie.
Oh, maybe.
Maybe when he sees Hugh Laurie, he's singing.
He's like a song and dance man, possibly.
Maybe.
He said, I'm going to put your eye in an enemy stew.
I was like, okay, that's bars.
That's bars.
That's fire.
And then something, something about a witch's brew. Yeah. And then he just said, well, that's s that's bars yeah that's that's fire that and then something something about a witch's
brew yeah and then he's just said that's well that's sordid
yeah that's terrible it's way too short it's way too quiet it's not a whole song
there was no beat it's funny because the issue with the with the rap is like largely that it's
so short and yet the story about it has been
so long that we haven't talked so long i said all you know so long but i don't know any other way
we could have done it so long i don't know any other way we could have done it welcome to
hollywood handbook an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback
hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
A little institution we've created over here.
We put in the time coming up on like a decade of producing content every single week.
Oftentimes, people show up to the network that we actually helped build.
up to the network that we actually helped build and through because of the groundwork that we laid build in our a larger audience than we did in last time that's great that's a compliment to us
you know what it says is wow you really softened the earth yes so that these other you know beautiful
flowers could grow what show are you guys talking about which what are you
talking about who are you i haven't introduced twice two comments from matt i'm getting against
matt so just checking the tally here we have two comments from matt and we have zero from nick and
heather the stars so far is that hmm is that who people want to hear from the most
when they see this lineup?
They go, well, I hope it's Matt Heavy this episode.
Yeah.
Matt who's here all the time.
Who constantly is on the pro version.
We could never book Heather.
I've been on the show before.
You were on the show once.
Exactly.
You were on the show once, and at the end of the show, you on the show before you were on the show exactly you were on the show once and at the end
of the show you you you described the show as a slow car crash like being in a car and we took
the note and i think you're fine that this is a much faster car crash i think it's gonna feel
like we are going at a breakneck pace.
We are going to drive this car
so fast directly into a building.
Cool.
A school.
Thank you.
A school.
Thank you.
It's Heather and...
A school for bad people.
The school for scoundrels.
We'll drive it into the school for scoundrels.
Take that.
Does Mr. Woodcock teach there?
Mr. Woodcock is...
He doesn't teach.
He doesn't teach.
It's the same poster.
He's the provost.
He's in charge of activities.
He's organizing the magic bus event
at the school for scoundrels this year
where you get on the magic bus and at the school for scoundrels this year where you just like you get on the magic bus.
And they take you to a mystery destination.
The dance at the aquarium.
Heather and Campbell are here.
Yep, that's me.
I got Matt Apodaca.
Do you guys want me to introduce the third guest?
Is that what you're queuing me up here for?
That would actually kick ass.
We've also got my friend and co-host, Nick Weicker.
Hi, Nick.
Hi.
They, congrats, you were on PodMass recently.
I was checking your feed,
you were on pod mass recently i was checking your feed and you were celebrating yourselves over there retweeting a uh pod mass mention and then i was like oh pod mass is the list of
all like the best or not necessarily the best but the most notable okay podcast from that week
and i saw that and i thought to myself oh pod mass is back holy shit
because i just assumed it had gone on hiatus for two and a half years something easily two
and a half years which is the last time that we were mentioned in it because we used to get some burn on pod mass and then i go back i scroll through
it's been diligently producing this column every single week is this vulture what is this ab club
what is it no we were mentioned there too though We got, yeah, it's another sort of another publication.
Hard to tell because you're on both.
Yeah, we got written up for being good there also.
I thought PodMass was an app.
Am I thinking of something else?
I think, yeah, you're thinking of something else.
You are thinking of something else.
No, I actually don't think you are.
I don't think you're thinking of anything.
Yeah, I think you're thinking of anything yeah i think you're lying no i just saw something that was podcast addict that's what it was that was the app i could see how yeah you heard pod mass and it's got what you're thinking
of is the word podcast i guess so yes i see you guys need help? Do you guys, like, what?
No, no, no.
How can I facilitate this?
No, no, no.
To make it run smooth for you guys.
This is going exactly.
You all are just, like, slotting into your role so perfectly.
Marching to the beat of my little drum.
Okay.
I've got a front row seat for the puppet show and all the marionettes came to dance
hayes twists his little fingers up above the stage last time heather and was here We did video game adaptation of The Proposal starring Ryan Reynolds.
Wow.
Do you recall this, Heather Ann?
Yeah.
It seemed like there was some miscommunication about the fundamentals of what a video game is or what it should accomplish.
I guess.
I left with a lot of concern for your, just like your exposure to games but your overall worldview
um but I mean if you guys want to take another swing at it the whole crew is here well we're
going to have to take another swing at it because unfortunately uh whatever the miscommunication was it sounded pretty damn
good to some of the high ups over at netflix and they went ahead and made a goddamn fucking
hit movie out of it and taika's riffing was sublime so if that isn't the mark of a successful video game development podcast episode of hollywood
handbook i don't know what is they put ryan reynolds in the freaking movie and they made
him be in the video game and they made him be i assume doing all the things that we said he would
be doing including carrying a box putting down a box having trouble getting over the box yeah
so we gotta beat it we gotta
come even harder and this time we've got to get some kind of trademark or copyright on this thing
so that we don't get scooped again because i want my points okay is that the plot of red notice
what were you describing so i understand and this this goes back to the PodMass podcast thing that Sean is disoriented.
That was, Free Guy was, of course, a 20th project.
Oh, Free Guy.
Okay.
Yes.
That you could see in theaters.
Second deadliest video game movie of all time from the in-theater experience.
Nestled right in between. Distant second very yes what's the first one huh oh sonic the hedgehog was a super spreader it killed more people than
any other movie released in history it was packing theaters full of families uh immediately before and country was shut down for uh you know
the novel yeah it killed yeah sonic killed more people than hatred wow then just throughout
history then yeah like then the emotion hatred has has killed it's not sonic's fault like that you know that obviously was not their intention
but you know it depends who you ask whether the intention actually matters
i think what would emmanuel kant say about this
then that's interesting we should stew on that, actually. Well, stew on it.
You got a mic? Stew.
Kant is a philosopher?
I can't believe you asked me that.
And the eye is also his first official.
The movie I assume had a big death toll was kind of past it now,
but Tomb Raider, the cradle of life,
because it was such a bomb.
I was going to say,
try to say that earlier,
but I didn't really have a window for it.
If we're circling back to stuff we were going to say earlier,
could I say,
let's get it.
Yeah.
Let's do that now.
This is a great opportunity.
I was going to stop down and Kevin set,
set a timer and maybe every like 10 minutes or so we can all just
stop down and say stuff we want to circle back to okay yeah we plug it in earlier or not but
i wasn't i was gonna say i wouldn't place the deaths of those many on sonic uh himself i would
place it on um everybody who complained about his teeth because if they would have just left it
alone it would have come out sooner
with regular teeth yes
it would have saved so many lives
and honestly
the animators are
who buckled to public pressure
all the suits
I guess I'll go outside and ask the birds not to sing
while I'm at it
we're asking
devotees of Sonic the Hedgehog
to silently
accept
top and bottom
full rows of gruesome
veneers.
There's something about
Mary Matt Dillon-esque
chompers.
I hope they make the same
design choices with Marioio with chris pratt like they
just make him look like a human being realistic human teeth that would be smart because they can
get ahead of any other controversy if there's just the backlash to the teeth they can be like
okay we fix the teeth yeah and then everyone will be excited for the movie. Give him like real fucked up teeth.
Austin Powers style.
Little beady eyes.
Yeah.
Just always like little sweat on his mustache.
Crumbs.
Yeah.
Mario just looks like he really needs to wipe his face yeah he looks like he stinks
one wet armpit
so we gotta do a new
game our
major IP has been
seized by 20th
we can Our major IP has been seized by 20th.
We do have some existing IP.
We have Fight Haver.
Fight Haver Fast Drive is a property of ours that we've developed on the show previously.
Lane Dorman for a little bit, yeah.
Voice Talent didn't really nail their piece of it.
So they were a little resistant to some of the ideas of the game.
And it wasn't.
Who'd you have attached?
It didn't come out how we needed it.
Who'd you have attached?
Fight Haver.
Oh.
You got him and he couldn't even do it.
Yeah.
We could do it. fight haver uh we didn't
actually explore like kind of who fight haver is in the first one so maybe we can get into this a
little bit fight haver uh his fighting style is to only choke only put both hands completely around the neck of his opponent and choke them
and he competes in these kind of like underground fights but there are like obviously that's not
allowed right yeah like there are some it's looser than like a traditional boxing match or something,
but like that,
there's some,
there's some etiquette.
Yeah.
And you're not,
you're really not supposed to two hand choke every person you see.
Also sounds like it would just be cinematically stagnant,
you know,
thinking of it as a film.
Like,
I feel like how many ways can you shoot that?
Yeah. Well, his hair changes color okay that's cool so there is something like happening in the frame it takes a very long time
to render are we talking about the game now or no we're talking about the property okay that's a property we have it to my mind
it's like can we combine this then with another movie like we had so much success adapting the
proposal you you immediately i guess think of fight club but I don't want to do that.
No.
Right.
But off of that, would we want to do...
First Wives Club?
Yeah.
That's what he was going to say.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's what he was going to say.
Okay.
I'll say that the multiverse is big, and we see this in video games right now.
You know, they just actually released it.
They're working on a WB multiverse fighting game that's combining a bunch of their different properties. They're doing the same with a Nickelodeon fighting game has been released.
Of course, Super Smash Brothers with the Nintendo progenitor of the genre.
smash brothers with the nintendo progenitor of the genre so it's it strikes me as probably the correct moment to combine a couple of properties and see what happens i mean people are excited
for that okay so what you're saying is we get elizabeth berkeley from first wives club
we try to get goldie if we can but then we combine that possibly with
not someone from fight club but maybe one of the actors from fight club we get jerry's
lito from dallas byers club yes and do we get someone from book club do we see if candy from
book club is available can we get the book club candy?
That is now feeling like, okay, and this is a game.
And everyone's just choking each other.
Is this right?
Yes.
Their move is two hands choke each other to death.
What?
So that's the move set for every fighter in this game every button basically activates a two-handed choke yeah okay so heather i can see heather's skeptical
and i i knew this was going to be an issue heather only appears in projects that have a question mark on the title and so we can make it the first wives club
underline first yeah i mean if you if you need an endorsement or like a go ahead i
i have no precipice from which to hold i can't judge anything you guys are talking
about it's precipice it's pronounced precipice i was gonna say heather you're you're like a
fighting game champ so your expertise actually could really come in handy here you know because it is your wheelhouse i'm thinking if
everybody has the same choke the two-handed choke move there's got to be some variety in at least
what they say yeah you kind of want the rock paper scissors sort of dynamic you know in a
fighting game where you got the big tough guy you know you've got the the fast quick guy you know
everyone has kind of a different sort of move set and a different sort of strategy that
you'd employ uh but if we're talking about everyone has the same move then i guess you
got to do it up with uh well it's something of a prisoner's dilemma isn't it okay right isn't it
both players
elected to choke
their hands just kind of
like glance off each other
and they just keep sort of like
banging into each other
they can break each other's fingers
that's something
if you go to choke at the same time
you can bend each other's fingers
all the way back to break fingers
okay
but it doesn't do any
like does it matter
one player and there's a rest button
as well so you can either choke or rest that see okay so then you need to have some strategic value
add for for resting because if you're just going to make yourself more vulnerable to being choked
then why would the player ever opt to rest to be clear there's only one eames chair okay and so if if one player elects
to rest the other can still press the rest button but they end up kind of like wandering around like
looking for somewhere to sit got it so there's sort of a musical chairs element there you can
unlock like a hammock that is off screen and then the player just leaves okay i'm concerned about
some of the ai implications of what you've just described i i mean you i understand press press
x to rest and you and one player gets pacifist yeah pacifist pac. Pacifist. Let's say you're a pacifist and you want to rest.
So you sit down in the Eames chair.
What you did describe that if the other player presses rest,
they wander around aimlessly.
And that's where my concern comes in because I,
that's a complicated.
The AI implications is that they could effectively wander into meat space, as you say.
It's not what I said.
And that was not, I mean, that's a different concern maybe that you have.
But I don't have.
Kevin, can we double back?
Are we at the time yet where we say things that we would have said?
30 seconds left.
Okay, I'll save it for 30 seconds.
Go ahead. 30 seconds left okay I'll save it for 30 seconds go ahead I just feel like that's a complicated
action to have
a
procedurally generated
behavior based on just
you could just have them want
to sit maybe just point to the
camera when the 30 seconds
is up oh okay
you meant me
5 4 3 two and recipes
got it so um i think like i hear your concern uh absolutely i don't understand the concern just because I don't really,
like,
I guess I didn't hear it.
No, I hear it for sure,
but I don't get it.
I don't like it.
Okay.
I'll say that technically,
to what Heather said,
technically,
there's not as much of an obstacle there.
It's fairly easy to have AI wander aimlessly you can sort of establish a mesh that's what i'm going to yeah
that's what i feel too yeah but that's not the same thing but is that a but there's one thing
that's like it's one easy you can you can build an ai it's so CG. The cliche you say in game development is
it's easy to build a hard AI. It's hard to build
a fun AI.
So does that add to the fun?
That's so funny. A character wandering aimlessly.
Well, it's not a joke. It's like...
I'm cracking up.
I mean, it's not like a joke. It's more sort of guidance for
an AI program. It is.
I mean, it's intentionally pithy
and clever and it's a joke.
I mean, it's a joke.
That's like over the urinals at
game development studio bathrooms.
It makes people laugh.
Easy to build a hard AI.
It's hard to build a fun AI.
Fun, of course, could just
say easy AI. Yeah.
Well, I don't think
they're synonymous
because also it's not hard to build an easy ai it's also pretty easy
we don't i mean like honestly the right the plot so far sucks uh-huh yeah i mean like you know i
get like you guys are so obsessed with like the gameplay and all this stuff.
But like, it's like, well, I have a fucking story.
Like, what's the story?
Like, I don't care.
You know, obviously, I don't care.
They look, they're gonna break each other's fingers.
They're gonna choke each other, you know, or they're gonna sit down and rest.
What I want to know is what makes them tick.
Why are they doing these things and so we're
starting you in for obviously middlebury college 1969
annie elise brenda and cynthia they are graduating they are getting ready to pose
in the commemorative graduation picture.
So this,
this to me is the first like,
like thing that you can control is all for them at one.
You only have one joystick and they're all wandering around.
It's easy easy that is actually
easy to do and you have to line up so that you get them all in the shot heather's note was not
it was like wandering around is going to be difficult what would be easier is to create
a desire within the ai to make them want to have them yearn to sit and rest
honestly it's kind of beautiful if naive
so we need to get this picture even just to get the to the next scene when cynthia is going to be
scene when Cynthia is going to be gazing at it.
The four of them on
on
graduation day.
I mean, I know you want to focus
on plot, but it's just hard to divorce it from
gameplay because if we're talking about a fighting game,
those are ones that are not traditionally narrative
driven. It's like you don't think of
Mortal Kombat and... Oh, I can
solve this. I can solve this I can solve this
forget everything
you think you know about fighting
games
if it's not
traditionally like this
that's a good thing because
we're here we're not here to stand
on ceremony and
follow the rules and color inside the lines, Jack.
The reason we actually brought in this team, this brain trust, is to break the fucking mold, man.
I'm also not necessarily interested in making my consumer, who's really a guest in my mind for this experience,
my consumer who's really a guest in my mind for this experience complicit in whatever comes as a result of this fight what they're there to do is basically report on it and take a picture
okay and so to observe a lived experience these four women are all choking each other.
It's graduation day of Middlebury College, 1969.
Your job is to...
I mean, they're wandering around,
but obviously if they come into contact with each other,
they will start to choke immediately.
start to choke immediately.
You have to get this picture
of them.
So your goal is to try to snap a shot of all
four of them strangling each other,
but you have to wait until they're all positioned.
That would work. That's not the goal, as we explained it,
but that would allow you to move on to the next level.
So I know that we're not talking about gameplay.
We're not.
But it sounds like the fighting now is not part of it,
sounds like the fighting now is not part of it and it is now more of like a pokemon snap like i was thinking of yeah game where instead of taking pictures of pokemon the scenes this
scene happened already we're just like we're just like what do you think the entire game is like
taking a picture no it's just it seems like so we're not going to do that multiple times
throughout it's over we're done okay we're i was just voicing a concern now it's 1996
and cynthia is tearfully gazing at the picture of them on graduation day she's very wealthy
she's living in a luxurious penthouse and she has requested that her maid
mail letters to the other three friends in this photo annie elise and brenda her she
asks her maid to do that she's she doesn't write her own friends? I think she's written the letters.
Oh.
Or dictated them.
Yeah.
She's, yeah.
And, you know, they're potentially even in the envelope stamped.
Obviously, the maid is going to be licking them.
But everything else is in place.
We need to establish her status right it's very important to the story that we know
that this monstrous choking machine uh is in fact extremely wealthy and has and has employees
um if you would rather she choked the maid that i'll listen i mean that's sort of interesting to
me i think the letters won't get mailed i also think like we're not going to be rooting for her
if she chokes her maid right away well but you have to keep in mind that the player themselves
are thinking that they are a character in this so maybe if we give the player some some agency
of like hey you have a choice here do you want to take the the good path and have your maid mail
your letters do you want to take the dark path and choke out your maid and mail the letters yourself
or throw the mails and throw the letters in the trash so in this scenario it is good to employ a
maid and it is bad to do something yourself.
A simple task.
If you choke her, I would say.
I'd say the choking is probably what makes it bad.
Depends on what the thing you do yourself is, I guess.
I guess that's true.
Are we being compensated for our creative involvement in this title?
Because I'm beginning to be,
there seems to be a lot of unwritten material here,
and I feel like
if you guys are going to move forward with this,
the three of us are doing some heavy lifting here.
Well, two of you are.
Heather, did you not send your...
Did you not have your lawyer take a look at this?
At the advance for this podcast?
No.
No.
Oh.
Yeah, my guy looked over it.
He said it was, you all this guy oh there's a
guy okay my maid looked at mine so the so the maid is like we've gotten the maid to leave on her
little errand and now cynthia walks outside on the balcony of her penthouse, and she attempts to commit suicide, jumping to her death.
She has learned through the tabloids that her ex-husband Gil,
who Cynthia made wealthy through her connections,
has the day before married his much younger bride.
You, the player,
you are Mr. B.
30 seconds.
You are four floors down.
You open a window.
You stretch out to enjoy the day. And the goal is to hang your pajamas outside on the clothesline just in time to catch Cynthia on her way down.
You know, a movie had a high death count, I think, was the video game movie Need for Speed with Aaron Paul
because it was such a bomb
I guess one thing I almost
said was that Hayes went to great
lengths to explain that we did not want
the player to be complicit in whatever
fight took place and then Nick's like next
pitch was that perhaps
the player could choose to choke the maid
okay that's fair And Nick's next pitch was that perhaps the player could choose to choke the maid.
Okay, that's fair.
Is Mr. Bean in the movie?
Mr. Bean is, well, he is now.
Mr. Bean, in the same way as the game, you, the camera in the movie is Mr. Bean.
It's heavily implied.
Got it. You in the game, you don't see Mr. Bean. It's heavily implied. Got it. You in the game,
you don't see Mr. Bean.
You are Mr. Bean's eyes.
You inhabit Mr. Bean.
In this fighting game,
it's a first-person perspective
and you only see arms.
Yes.
It was Mr. Bean taking the picture
back at Middlebury College.
Mr. Bean hanging his pajamas out to dry.
Ken, I know that you said wandering ai is easy nick
to to sort of create a more sense of like realism ai like where like we're like yeah is that is i
was gonna say no these ai would just be fucking losing their minds cracking up because mr bean
is there it would just make more sense if they're like miss that's mr
i'm i'm laughing they'd be going nuts just seeing him making his faces and slipping on
you know loose fish whatever but also in in mr bean's reality people don't find his buffoonery
particularly funny that's true they find it obnoxious and this is why he's often frustrating
them yeah yeah maybe Maybe they're upset now
to that point. They're like, oh great,
it's this fucking lunatic, this guy.
I like the one where he makes a salad in a
sock.
That's my favorite one.
He puts lettuce in a sock
next to a businessman. He's sitting
on a bench next to a businessman
and he puts lettuce
in the sock and he swings it around so he can dry it off yeah but he's a salad spinner yeah in that
same episode he's making a sandwich right next to the businessman maybe that's it i don't know
and he's got like a jar child he's got like a jar of um likeardines, but they're like alive.
And so he's next to the businessman and he'll reach in and he'll pull one out and he'll
kind of like listen to it.
And then he'll slam it against the bench as hard as he could and lay it in the sandwich.
Yes.
And I saw it.
I thought, and it was also my favorite.
I thought it was the funniest one I ever saw.
And then I was telling my sister about it, demonstrating it.
And as I went to demonstrate slamming the sardine
against the edge of the counter in my kitchen,
I actually hit my hand so hard on the counter
that I split it open.
Oh my God.
So as I'm recounting the buffoonery of Mr. Bean,
I split my hand open
and start bleeding all over the kitchen
in the middle of my leg.
And then he does this.
It's going to be so funny to hear me
tell you what Mr. Bean did. it was very mr bean-esque and my life imitated art in that
they uh they ought to put one of those jackass style warnings in front of mr bean to not attempt
anything don't see yeah don't even try it he's do you know who this is it's bean baby
forget about it baby Forget about it, baby.
Forget about it, baby.
Hollywood Handbook.
Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel,
the science-backed language learning app that actually works.
Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors
or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like
hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you
really use and care about but there's one language i'm trying to learn and that's body language
so can babble teach me body language? Yes.
Babbel now has
visual, in-person lessons.
Part of their quick 10-minute lessons
that they do for other languages
is handcrafted by over 200 language experts
to help you start speaking a new language
in as little as three weeks.
Babbel is designed by real people
for real conversations,
and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop
someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger
and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger
hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they
spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen
this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure
out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks
like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand
in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost
yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a
high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to
drive by the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous
yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.
Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations,
which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready
to practice what you've learned in the real world.
Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others, can't feel good to be others there,
continue to prove Babbel is better.
One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.
Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold.
All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.
Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners right now.
Get 55% off your Babbel subscription,
but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash the boys.
Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys,
spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash the boys
rules and restrictions may apply
with Babbel we can't promise
it'll always be easy but you'll
always be glad you did it
kind of like this podcast except it is easy
for me eating better
is easy with factors
delicious ready to eat meals
every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted dietitian
approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just two minutes chef kevin is
here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is
different kevin i just want to i just want to
establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal
yeah it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't
just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet. You're actually doing the cooking.
And there are 35 different options to choose from every week, including Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto.
Which is this?
It's a little bit of all of them.
Okay.
Okay, it shouldn't be.
There are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long.
How many add-ons?
And what are some of them
it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the at
the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will
be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to
do it's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have
smoothies and things like that.
Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second?
It's you and your bed? The bed.
Fuel up fast with Factors
restaurant quality meals that are ready
to heat and eat wherever you are. Pancakes, smoothies, and more.
Discover a wide variety of easy options
for the entire day like breakfast,, midday bites, and more.
No, we didn't even...
This is not even up for consideration.
So let's just hear what the actual meal was.
What was the food?
I don't want to go to bed.
It's very simple.
It's one huge chicken nugget.
Sign up and save.
We've done the math.
Factor is less expensive than takeout.
Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys 50 and
use code the boys 50 to get 50 off that's code the boys 50 at factor meals.com slash the boys 50 to
get 50 off hey guys rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted
subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills you can see all your subscriptions in one place
and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a tap i never have to get on the phone
with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life
and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i
was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses yeah
before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll
this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also
by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses
oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not
they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah
and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry
vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund
for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to
lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket
money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members
an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was
i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was
most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia
you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh
yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your
unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket moneyoney.com slash the boys.
That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
Rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
Hollywood handbook.
The Need for Speed made $203 million on a budget of $66 million.
Okay.
And to Nick, that's like...
Yeah, Nick, what did your movie gross people it was it was so bad nick who would be capable of imagining 203 million dollars in his dreams
tonight i i thought it was less successful maybe i was just thinking domestically
maybe critically is what you're thinking I might have been thinking critically yeah yeah maybe you're trying to come up
with an example that didn't directly
attack Hayes' family
oh
cradle of life
the 2003
tomb raider
yes
okay grossed
160 million on a 95 million
dollar budget well but you put it marketing in there and
what you're finding is they're actually taking a loss
your family didn't work on you think if she you think if she you think if angelina
had said i'm willing to come back for round three they wouldn't have made another one of those
i think they probably would have didn't they make another one without her yes well now it's also a financial success yes
yeah was one of the best reviewed rotten tomatoes video game adaptations of all time
i met about rampage like 12 years ago and i was like that's a great
idea for him that's that's the video game property that should be a movie yeah and then they come out
about it yeah some of they were like they're like hey we're gonna we're thinking of making rampage
i was just like sure anyway um that's as far as that's what i meant about today anyway the movie comes out and they
eliminate the best part which is that they're like little they're like regular people who turn
into giant monsters and then when they get uh shot by you know rocket propelled grenades and
and helicopter fire enough uh they turn into they shrink down a naked little people yeah their nads
yeah that was like the best part of the arcade game
and they slink away
they got rid of it
and they're really really tiny
little kid Weiger is like pressing his face
against the screen so he could like really see
if they
they didn't get their hand there in time
is there a way to pause it
I heard if you get the high score that you could see it.
Ralph's packing a fucking rocket downstairs.
You could just tell.
My favorite part about that game is that the punching motion,
the punch is also the same action for eat and i think it would have been
funny in the movie if we had seen that like that to like to move your hand as fast as a punch to
grab a person something to eat them would be really cool i'd either no they didn't do that and you don't have an opinion on
seeing them live action nude actors i i mean covering themselves i'm ashamed ashamed yeah
yeah either either way would have been okay with me victims of a scientific experiment gone wrong
then humiliated on top of it
after being physically abused.
Also shot at by the military.
They didn't do it on purpose.
They got big on accident.
Yeah, I guess I didn't miss that part, Nick,
but I'm not the video game guy.
Made $428 million on a budget of $120 million.
But no, let's do your version.
Let's do the Nick version where it's a little naked guy.
Who's like embarrassed?
Yes, he's feeling ashamed of his body.
They're still talking about that meeting.
They're like, it's all he wanted to talk about.
He wouldn't stop shaking me when he said it.
Well, they get so big that their clothes are all,
you know what I mean?
And a lot of times they're kind of up against the building,
so they're hiding, like,
I assume they have some monster stuff.
But when they get small, man,
then it's human stuff,
and then they're just facing you.
I feel like I had a friend who worked at that company
and their complaint was that Nick kept saying,
and you'll cast me and I'll be the guy.
You cast me, which was what made it uncomfortable for everybody.
He was like, you got to have an actor who's willing to really sell it.
I'll show you.
It would look like this.
And I promise I'll cover it all the way up.
I thought it could be more like a cameo.
If any peeks out, we'll just shoot it both ways.
If any peeks, we'll shoot it.
What?
Well, just so you have options in the edit.
I mean, you don't want to make that decision on the day
let's test it we'll get a test audience in and they'll see it peeking out or they'll see it
normal okay we'll think about it what's there to think about I'm not even gonna charge you any money
um
we have to get this fight haver thing figured out
yeah cause like we're
he's not even in the game yet
so far it's the first wives
from the first wives club
and Mr. Bean
no fight haver
fight haver's not even in there
yeah
what seems like a natural place to introduce him
is after, you know,
the female lead has this life crisis.
Mm-hmm.
And then maybe...
Lands in the pajamas.
Lands in the pajamas,
and who's there to meet her?
Fight Haver.
Mm-hmm.
And Mr. Bean is, like, watching this happen.
We're in Mr mr bean's flat
30 seconds it's his pov yeah it's his pov so like why is fight haver there i think maybe he had uh
the key to the wrong apartment he goes all the way in he to the wrong apartment and he and he went to the wrong apartment to use the key like he tested different apartments until
the key worked
anybody have anything and he enters and he's not immediately like
oh this is not my fault this is mr beans here well maybe he does a string of christmas
cards that mr bean wrote to himself i don't think this is my flat well maybe he was just moving in
and he got that like here's the keys to your new place fight haver he just signed a lease
and he's on the wrong floor mr bean that would happen to mr bean that you're
all moved in and then your landlord has basically rented your flat now yeah to a to a menace to a
fight haver and you're just sort of like you know putting out your laundry to dry for the day you
turn your back a woman falls straight in your pajamas lands like sort of scarecrow style all
puffed out and you're onesie you don't even see it you turn out because the door is opening and the fight haver is like oi what are you doing
in my flat bean and he's or he's british i guess maybe that was the british rapper got that stuck
in my head yeah maybe and mr bean's british he's sure and he doesn't speak but it's but first wives But First Wives Clubs, they're not. We'll figure it out later.
They could be.
Yeah, they could be.
Well, do we want to make the First Wives Club British?
Like, let's decide.
We can get it both ways.
We could get both.
Well, let's just shoot it both ways.
Because, you know, we could... The things you can do these days with games we could like sort of dynamically insert different dialogue you know options so
like let's say sure there's an there's a there's a part where one of the wives is like is just
having a normal conversation in in you know plain not british speak uh and then things
get a little tense and then she starts throwing a bruv or two in there you know and then that's
sort of then you can sort of insert that maybe she starts running and starts saying come off it
you know uh what's all this then that kind of stuff and like based on your behavior i'm not
chuffed right now in the game like depending on how you treat
like npcs and right like whether or not you like take things that aren't yours there could be like
a meter that tracks like how british your character is yeah at at any given moment yeah sort of like
the meter in like that calm that's interesting if there's a separate
screen that you go to to check your british meter or maybe it forces you to look at it every yeah
but you'll need a different like a separate monitor it's like it's like your wanted meter
in grand theft auto when you've done too many crimes the police start to take you notice right
so if you have one star you know that's of like, hey, everybody's got one star.
Not a super big deal.
Everybody does crime.
But if you got five star,
that's actually really bad.
Now there's tanks coming after you.
Now ICE is after you.
You became so British
that you actually have to...
You are at risk of deportation.
Yeah, they're not happy with it at all.
You're 21 Savage.
I mean, at that point, you're 21 Savage,
and they're going to come get you.
Absolutely.
And then we bring in the green card franchise.
Not ISIS, ICE is.
Okay.
I was like, why are they deporting?
They're probably not happy about it either,
if we're being honest.
No, ISIS probably also deporting. They might get to you first before either, if we're being honest. No, ISIS probably also...
They might get to you first before ICE does.
Yeah.
Probably don't approve of the music in the game.
Music's not allowed over there.
I don't think so.
Reading a lot about what's allowed and what's not allowed with ISIS, Nick?
I was thinking more when you were talking about the Grand Theft Auto meter,
I was thinking more of the Mass Effect Paragon or Renegade scale, which is kind of like a morality compass.
And as you progress, as you take more noble actions, you become more Paragon.
As you take more rebellious actions, you become more Renegade.
Could be the same sort of thing with your Britishness.
I guess I made the reference I made because more people would know what I was talking about.
Okay.
I feel like I neglected at the top of
this podcast to say something that I should have
that would inform. Is this the
time? Are we doing that right now?
Like we missed one early.
We missed one early.
The thing that we would have said. I think
it's soon. Kevin, do we
want to? It's in five minutes, but we missed one so I can stick this in the one that we missed. Okay i think it's soon kevin do we wanna there's it's in five minutes
but we missed one so i can stick this in the one that we missed okay and then we'll just bump the
other one back okay great this would be like time traveling because it won't it'll be like you guys
heard this and then just moved on which is that i got i got my booster yesterday my girlfriend and
i both got our boosters yep and she's fine but i have 102 fever
and my lymph nodes have swollen up like golf balls and i i'm in so much pain that i can't
it's hard for me to track this conversation well you think that's a result of the booster or the
podcast itself i i honestly i'm giving you guys the benefit of the doubt and
saying it's the booster here i mean the fact that your girlfriend is fine like i think that
like they missed or something yeah where did you go i went to cvs to get my booster and i also got
the flu shot at the same time. They sell candy there.
Yeah.
I think they have high C in juice boxes and stuff.
I was nervous.
I was nervous.
I woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat.
101 fever that's only gone up.
But she's fine.
I haven't gone up that much.
Yeah.
Okay.
What are we rocking?
My brain is fried. What are we rocking? I mean.
My brain is fried.
What label are we?
I'm a Moderna girl.
Yeah.
Apodaca got it.
He didn't mind it at all.
No.
Yeah.
You do know, though, that I am built different.
Yeah.
I do know.
I got the Moderna booster just like a week ago myself wow
pfizer gang rise up oh you're bragging about not having a reaction to the pfizer one
i but i also got flu shot at the same time it's fake honey
honey that one's fake it only works if we keep it so cold little baby vaccine popsicle
get the fuck out of here we didn't get into the box mechanics at all
heather you want to go no no i just i wanted to give you guys some because we have to like some context we can't
just like keep doing this for what was happening to me when i if i looked like i was in pain or
was going from pale to red you did but you look like that last time you did the show okay great
i got i got one for next time we go back in time just a heads up
it's locked and loaded
Kevin
smashed two devil sticks
together
locked and loaded
I feel like it might help us if we know
where we're headed so can you guys give me
some shape of the ending on this game?
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Do you want to go first?
Me?
No, I asked a question.
Yes, you.
That's not how.
You said you were hoping to be cut in on this.
What?
You were hoping to make money off this.
I just wanted to know.
I don't remember.
I don't remember being so crass.
I was, oh, it must have been the shot.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, just a minute ago, you were saying, like, yeah, I need to be compensated for my contribution. Souring your creative endeavor by bringing up the ugly business of the financial end.
I remember that part of, I was concerned because it felt like you boys didn't have a clear idea.
And it felt, frankly, like Nick Weiger was doing some real shaping of this project.
All the ideas have been ours.
The stuff that Nick Weiger and Matt have been doing is going like, that reminds me of this other game.
That's kind of like the meter in Grand Theft Auto.
It's like, yeah, no shit, pal.
That's why we fucking did it.
That was Appanaga, though.
Are you a paragon or a renegade?
None of that shit is going into the game.
They're just describing what we already told them is in the game.
Every substantive idea has come from Haze so far.
All right.
So give me,
give me some.
Weiger's repurposing
pitches
for movies
that he met on
a decade ago.
He's like shoehorning
in these like movie meetings
from the last time
he was relevant.
How about,
so what's the end
the wave of video game adaptations
I don't know how I missed that
I mean I just
I just
yeah that's what the studios are saying too
ah nuts
30 seconds
oh we just finished
we would have been able to get
the nude
ashamed man idea.
Sonic 2 in the can already.
Yeah.
Plenty of time to show up for Sonic 2.
Oh, no.
They really got to release it on 2.22.
They got it. Okay, Kevin just gave me
the signal.
Imagine if Mr. Bean got his hands
on one of those long CVS receipts.
Okay.
That's funny.
Yeah.
That's good. It'd be pretty funny.
What would he do?
Yeah, what would he do?
Find some stuff.
You know.
Toilet paper.
Sorry.
I'm sick too.
We need an end, Heather.
So, like, we have to finish this.
I got my Z-Pack.
I got my steroids.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I got my Z-Pack God. Oh man, you are Jesus. Look at that. Christ. Yeah, I got my Cretazote and my Z-Pak, everybody.
Good Lord.
But I show up.
I show up.
So did I.
And I'm technically here for this show.
All right, how about this?
Nobody will ever tell you different.
How about this?
All right, ready?
They get back from Narnia,
and they've got the little goat guy with them,
and they make it all the way back to the school,
and he gets his diploma like he's always wanted.
And then Fight Haver chokes out the dean.
The provost.
Credits.
How's that for the ending?
I'm loving it.
Also, how robust is the editing on this show?
In post, how many of these silences
do you guys plan on cutting?
I haven't heard the show.
Kevin's in charge of that stuff.
I typically add them
because it feels pretty tight during the recording. I like to let this baby breathe okay we're leaving the space for the
audience to crack up or just to think some of this shit it's like you want to give them a little
while to go holy shit let that sink in you know you on everyone on whose line is like me oh me now just stand there for a minute just like
chill the hell out set a good example like did you get that american culture is just like go go go
stress stress stress yes it's fucking killing us like just get on tv and set a good example
and just chill out and go like i yeah okay i'm gonna do like you know a spaghetti western style scene
in a minute like but just let me fucking gather my thoughts i know it hasn't been 10 minutes yet
but i have something okay nice eight minutes matt eight only eight minutes to go can you edit it sooner can you like make it seem like 10 minutes went
past okay and five four i think that the goat should be either michael jordan or jim brewer Jim Brewer. Hmm. Hmm.
And it's like depending on your Paragon level
or your
what is the other one Nick?
Sorry Matt.
Renegade level?
Kevin can you put
the eight minutes in?
Can you
can you reinsert
the eight minutes?
You can put it back.
It's okay.
Just to give people
more time between that.
They might need it. Who is the second man in the two men Insert the eight minutes. You can put it back. It's okay. Just to give people more time between that.
They might need it.
Who is the second man in the two men that you mentioned?
Which?
Apodaca?
Michael Jordan?
Who is the other person?
Jim Brewer, the goat boy from Saturday Night Live.
He's a comedian, sort of. Okay.
Gotcha. Anti-vax i believe yeah i actually think we can get heather here i don't think she knows now but i think we can't i think matt if you do a couple
more things i think we can she'll be like oh that's who jim brewer is yeah don't you think
yeah i mean she must be half baked you've seen half baked you've seen half baked nope okay now i'm not sure we're gonna be that's making it have you seen uh
fox news recently nope okay because i know you picked michael jordan because he's the goat
right yeah that's not why but yeah oh
well he was he had his own show he was on premium blend a lot yeah premium blend
i was remember that one what was the one where they used to like act out the stand-ups act you
know what i mean like the stand-up telling the story and they'd have like a filmed version of
the story that was happening dr cats uptown no it wasn't
animated it was like a live action so this so like history no no no it was a stand-up like it was a
half-hour stand-up show was it wasn't premium blend right it was um wait the concept was that
we will show actors no it'd be like the stand would be telling the
story of like you know whatever i think jim brewer's one was like something about like
either like picking up a hitchhiker or somehow there was like it was a live action something
live action shorties watching shorties that okay that they did no uptown comedy Club from 1992 no Saturday Night Live
on Salt Mysteries
it was Saturday Night Live
thank you none of you remember that
they'd be acting out these comedians
ideas
Jay Moore got into
trouble for that
talks about him gasping for air time
yeah I remember that I remember everything from that Jay Moore got into trouble for that. Talks about gasping for air time.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah.
I remember everything from that book.
Okay.
What about the director's cut of the game?
Any additions?
No.
We have to.
Everyone is so sick.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon,
Carl and Ahsan remember John Madden,
the boys read their diary entries with Lily Sullivan,
and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball.
Check out these bonus podcasts and videos of the full episodes,
including today's with Nick, Heather, and Matt,
at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.
Hollywood Handbook
That was a HeadGum Podcast.