Hollywood Handbook - Greta Titelman, Our School Stories Friend
Episode Date: August 23, 2022The Boys talk to GRETA TITELMAN about their upcoming appearance on her show Senior Superlatives.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at ...https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So I've been putting this off for just as long as I could.
And in the back of my mind, I'm like...
And it's self-care.
Sometimes procrastination is self-care.
Maybe.
I mean, you do have to say, I'm not ready for this task.
You know, people put such a negative spin on this stuff sometimes.
But go ahead.
But I feel August, I feel its presence.
But I know I have to get this done before August,
that basically it's time to fire up the grill yeah yeah and so of course i start by getting my family to leave the house i don't tell
i don't tell them why i just say sweetheart i need you to do something for me and you are yes i need you to go go stay with
your sister for a little while yep i need to bring the kids we are in danger yes don't take
anything with you do not contact me i will contact you if things work out if not i've
i've loved the time that we had together yes but but we don't have time
stop you're being so dramatic stop so once they're gone i start
uh giving away all our possessions yeah uh won't need where you're going yeah call the police
inform them that this is going to be happening and it's not safe for them either no police
should be go stay with your sister police coming anywhere near the house go stay get your get your
kids i've loved the time that i've absolutely had the time i've had with these police
from the top highest chief of the station yeah to the to the newest rookie who's still a little
jittery you know and so that's where we're at and so i'm like okay i gotta do i gotta do this
podcast but like
soon after this i probably will be firing up the grill fire up the grill well and then that's the
official start of summer so i'm excited and it was self-care for you to wait this long and i
support it and uh we actually have a guest with us today who has been patiently waiting to be introduced greta tata man title man greta
title greta the title man the title man greta and that's your title and that's your title
you're actually bringing up a lot of um elementary school trauma related you fire up the grill in
elementary school yeah as a youngster, you get that
grill fired up. You don't always know.
Too much light food. What are we
cooking
on the grill
in elementary school?
Grillin' with Greta. What's on the grill?
Well,
in a
metaphorical sense,
as it pertains to my last name,
I was called titty man all through.
So titty man would be on the grill in elementary school.
And what am I literally titty man on the grill?
Yeah.
Griddle,
griddle,
titty,
griddle,
titty man,
griddle,
titty man. Yeah. Yeah. And what was griddle titty griddle titty man griddle titty man yeah titty man yeah and what was griddle
meant to be insulted i mean there's nothing wrong with being a tit being a titty man yes
i know there's a natural thing in the world yes it is it is it is so uh i you know i i'm sorry
if that's opening up a wound for you, but I'm here to tell you,
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
No, I shouldn't feel shame.
No, I do like the name Griddle Tittyman.
Yeah, Griddle's good.
Griddle is actually a nickname I've never been called before.
I've been called a lot of things.
Griddle is a first.
I love it.
It starts today yeah
it's the first day of the rest of your life griddle and that's the most important tool in
the kitchen there's nothing like you take away everything else you need the griddle do not
me just dad's griddle yeah yeah i don't need any of these fancy gadgets and tools but i can't do a damn thing without my griddle you ever griddle
your soup yeah i riddle my soup all the time that's how you make soup
it's winter it's winter time speaking of elementary school it's winter time you come
in from the cold you know nose a little red you know frost on the tips of your ears. And mom's in the kitchen and she's got griddled cheese and griddled soup.
Yep.
Griddled cheese sandwich and a griddled soup on the griddle.
And it's delicious.
It's love.
I can taste it.
It's love, isn't it?
They say love comes from the griddle.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I can taste it. Say that. Say that. Say that. love isn't it they say love comes from the griddle i can say that say that say that
say save that yes how about save say less except that say yeah say less overall but do say one more
thing love comes love comes from the griddle from the griddle yeah i can taste it i can smell it i can touch it i am able to see it as well
yeah mm-hmm yeah i'm oh yes in my mind's eye i'm experiencing every sense it's sound i hear the
sound the sizzle of the griddle cheese what was your favorite childhood food that came from the
griddle hmm i think i went first i guess like if i talked about i mentioned the soup
was it my favorite like the food that to you says oh this is comfort this is home
this is childhood what is that i'm feeling a little like i went first but i can come up with
another one if you need time.
And this is so interesting,
and I feel myself comfortably nestling into Griddle's podcast
where we're speaking about our childhood and our past.
Isn't it strange?
I do sort of feel like I'm letting myself sink into the water,
potentially to be drowned by her very competitive host energy.
Her massive host hands grip around my throat
and force me beneath the surface of the water.
I'm slipping under there,
and then I just feel a hand on the top of my head.
And it's not altogether unpleasant.
Exactly what I was going to say.
There's a point at which you just let go and say, what have I been fighting all this time?
Yeah.
This is my destination.
Don't resist.
Maybe I embrace it.
I don't know why I would.
It's useless, really.
It's like my whole life has been struggle.
And my final moments, am I going to make the same mistake?
No.
So I am excited to get into that.
Now, you were earlier brandishing a chapstick tube.
Oh, yeah.
Is it something that you want to use?
Is it a comfort item?
Do we just hold it during the podcast so that we have something in our hands?
I don't know what to do with my hands.
Do you have that feeling ever?
I have that feeling, but every second of every day so chapstick you
know this chapstick was sitting up here on this ledge like so okay and i didn't like how that
looked aesthetically for help you know it's good for it as well and it looks why you know what i
mean you're you're watching this you're paying for the patreon to watch this
zoom session go down and you're thinking to yourself what's that what yeah is it holding
something up it almost looks like it's holding up sort of the chandelier from a perspective issue
holding up the chandelier it could be really far away and it could be huge this is like peter jackson shit if you have vertigo
hobbit yeah i'm like in the fucking hobbit like the camera tricks the practical effects being
used on this zoom they're sending me to uh the shire yeah i'm in smog's cave and then watch this
i can take this and I grab it.
And then all of a sudden perspective shift.
What did I just watch? Bigger than my head.
Bigger or the same size as my head.
Nope.
Don't show the scan.
The barcode?
The barcode, yeah.
Because a lot of our listeners will be able to hack that.
That's your personal information.
They will be able to purchase your chapstick from you.
They'll locate you and they will obtain your chapstick.
They can geolocate me.
This is what I've always wanted to do with this, like a beauty influencer.
And here we have the original.
You hold it up against your hand.
Yeah.
Here we have the original chapstick.
The original, no flavor.
Black tube.
No bells and whistles. No. i think we got it right the first
time folks remember you'd come in on a cold day lips split to fuck all just blood shooting out
of your lips cracked dry and destroyed and your mom would just take some warm chapstick off the griddle original flavor
it's set yeah and just hand it to you and say go go in the other room get out of here get the
fuck out of here i'm with someone yeah that was those were hard days was it yeah it wasn't all
wasn't all happy around the griddle my mom would look at me and she'd say,
I don't want to look at you.
You're fugs.
Yeah, until you've put on this hot chapstick
on your bleeding lips.
Yeah.
I refuse to look at my fugly son.
I didn't want to say anything,
but your son is ugly.
Sorry.
That's what his mom was saying.
I'm saying your son is ugly.
Do you have a son?
I have a son, yes.
I have a three-year-old son.
Wow.
A shame.
I don't feel that way.
Everyone's allowed, you know, this obviously this is a a place to embrace other ideas.
Everyone is free to share, you know, and express themselves on this show where we're about like hearing all the viewpoints that are wild nation has to offer.
So it's fine. It's a shame that i have a son and
that my son is fugly i i do feel justified in saying i don't see it that way that's good it's
not my personal perspective right now and it could change at any moment gritty tiddle man yeah you have a podcast i do yeah it's on forever dog no no it's
not no but it was well you had one there or you wanted to you had a meeting you took you had a
cup of coffee with forever dog we all have in this city you know no i had a podcast it's okay greta yeah it's okay that it's on forever dog
it's fine no no one is judging you for being no one's judging me i understand they platform some
voices that maybe we prefer have a little less volume uh in the conversation but i you know
but it's okay that you're on forever dog no one's associating you no one's judging you for that
please god don't but you have it and it's and so how's your experience with forever dog good
my experience with forever dog was great i loved the podcasts that i had with them
and their great network what happened to that podcast we've all been wondering
i decided to start a different one i've done that but it doesn't mean that the old one goes away
well the old one didn't go away it's still available for you to listen you can listen to my old podcast
the worst
so you have a podcast on Forever Dog
so by your own admission
you have a podcast on Forever Dog that didn't go away
well it's just
it's not called temporary dog
it's called Forever Dog
but I have a
I have a podcast that I
currently do on hey i guess we could talk about that
on head gum called senior superlatives where i talk to my guests senior superlatives
yes where i talk to my guests all about their high school experience.
And then I have another podcast on Big Money Players Network on iHeart,
where I am one of my characters, my evil stepmom character.
Oh, the crazy characters.
Can we talk evil stepmom for a moment?
No.
Can we hear from evil stepmom? That's just what she would from evil stepmom that's just not available yeah that's just what she would say no she doesn't believe in podcasting always saying no
no that's just what evil stepmom would say she wouldn't even step away from the griddle to do it
no she do you think she's at the griddle she's absolutely not at the griddle she's there warming up her shabli right no ever
present snifter of shabli stepmom doesn't even go and enter the kitchen wow she's having an
assistant more evil than i thought also she doesn't drink shabli okay okay she drinks on
nobody said she drank it you did did. I called it ever present.
That actually implies that it's not being drunk.
She's just around Chablis all the time.
She's not drinking it.
She just needs the Chablis in the environment. She's just curating it.
Yes, yes.
That makes sense.
As one does.
It's decanting.
Oh, it's decant.
Yeah, hot.
Do you want to talk about that?
Which one do you...
It feels like
you have an agenda you're all over the place with like you've got all these different podcasts you
want to talk about you can't keep it straight you don't know where they are i'm a mess
you got this chapstick all over creation it's just like flung around
and we're grappling with this we're grappling with this.
We're grappling with this. It's time.
It's time to get in the
Greco-Roman chamber.
Yes. I want to talk about
senior superlatives.
Wow. I love seeing that
commitment.
Yeah.
You've changed
right before my eyes. You grew up
on this episode and just said, hey, I'm owning this.
I want to talk about this one podcast.
Is the co-production with Forever Dog or what does Forever Dog involve with this one?
Forever Dog supports me from the sidelines with this one.
Wow.
So they lift you up and that was when they were carrying you.
Yeah, they lift me up. When there was only one RSS feed, that's when we carried you. That that was when they were carrying you yeah they lift me up when there
was only one rss feed that's when we carried you forever dog was carrying me yeah yeah um but go
ahead so it's so this one's had gum cool idea huh that your head is chewing gum yeah i mean that is
what chews gum but it's not how they mean it yeah it's like gum for your head
i mean they're that's gum yeah you could have called it gum i guess well i think it's more
gum for your brain it should be called brain gum it i mean i don't know if it should be
definitely shouldn't be called head gum head we all agree on that ear gum i guess but then it's like i don't know i'm not on earwolf aren't you on earwolf i'm so sorry griddle i think that kevin
is still trading off of the cachet of the name earwolf which no one understands i agree with you
wolf pop made more sense um but i think that he he probably lured you here under false pretenses.
No.
Earwolf, we had quite a run with them.
And it was great.
And I guess in the sense that you still have a podcast on Forever Dog,
we do still have a podcast on Earwolf.
It's just not on Earwolf.
Yeah.
We're independent.
on your wolf yeah we're independent um i pray for you at some point to like achieve this level of freedom i pray i pray for myself too yeah you have nothing to lose but your chains why i know
yes and no corporate notes you know no little overseer with their with their little notebook. Just hmm. I think
we can make this more efficient. It's like, no, what's beautiful is that it sucks.
Do you think this is one of the most boring episodes of your podcast you've ever had?
No, we've done much worse. This one's not great, but we've done worse.
OK, I just want to make sure I can tell you that we have done ones that are so bad from i i'm like
breathing a sigh of relief just from like the first five seconds like you just know that i
yeah this and we didn't know you know we didn't know what it was going to be we didn't know what
to expect this isn't one of the most boring ones it is one where you know i am looking at the time
going like a lot of runway left in
front of me uh but that's not always a bad thing because there's so much room for discovery am i
that big of a trip to talk to it's not i'm enjoying the conversation and like i i love the confidence
that it's like all about you that like you're like dictating like every single thing about the situation that you're
and that you're this kind of like all powerful creature and like if you close the zoom window
the entire podcast will just vanish but no in fact there are other factors and like we are
in control of whether the podcast is good or bad at all times. We are deciding that it's bad right now.
We're starting bad
and we're
eyeballing a strong finish, but we
haven't decided yet whether or not to
get into it.
You're calling me self-absorbed.
Again,
I'm loving
He loved the confidence.
The self-belief. It was a compliment. I'm loving the loved the confidence yes self-belief you know it was that it's all
about me i'm loving the confidence that we're even talking about you at all right now right
sean and i are having a not audible but much louder conversation between the two of us
as we are chatting here that's basically like planning the next and the next moment of the show.
The next one after that.
The game within the game,
Gribble.
Hollywood Handbook.
This week on the Patreon,
Carl and Ahsan discuss their back to school fits.
The boys drop another memorable pro version and the flagrant ones are mostly
talking all things basketball.
Check out these bonus shows and video for today's episode with greta at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones
be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually
works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or
waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always
get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a
product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language i'm trying to learn and that's body language
so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has
visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages
handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks.
Babbel is designed by real people
for real conversations,
and that includes body-based conversations.
What does it mean
when you drop someone off after a nice date
and they turn around at the door
and they take their little index finger
and they kind of draw it towards them?
They're pulling it. what does that mean does
their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull
down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have
needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their
finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency I know I'm supposed to do something
or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like
almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving
and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really
aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just
do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing. That seems dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.
Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time,
and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.
Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others.
Can't feel good to be others there.
Continue to prove Babbel is better.
One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.
Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold.
All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.
Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners.
Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription,
but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash the boys.
Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys,
spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash the boys.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy,
but you'll always be glad you did it.
Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.
Eating better is easy with factors.
Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. except it is easy for me eating better is easy with factors delicious ready to eat meals every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted dietitian approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking
of ready to go in just two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor
where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different
kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of
ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal
you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying
around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to
choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little
bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long.
How many add-ons and what are some of them?
It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed.
You're so tired after you eat my meal.
The promise is the meal makes us sleepy.
You've been pushing that so much.
You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.
Yeah.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to
do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy they have like
smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second
it's you and your bed bed i got clippy fuel up fast with factors restaurant quality meals that
are ready to heat and eat wherever you are. Pancake smoothies and more.
Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, midday bites, and more.
No, we didn't even.
This is not even up for consideration.
So let's just hear what the actual meal was.
What was the food?
I don't want to go to bed.
It's very simple.
It's one huge chicken nugget.
Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less
expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to
factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50
at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off. off hey guys rocket money is a personal finance app that finds
and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills you can
see all your subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a
tap i never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're
the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged.
I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie, 27 dresses, before I found out how much it was costing.
Yes.
it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15
i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the
movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way
too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them
was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette
dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months
of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a
picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and
have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be
fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're
talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases
and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you
don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys
that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys
we wanted to talk about seeing senior superatives as well. And we were hoping actually,
either individually or as a team,
to be involved with that podcast.
Yeah, we'll do it.
We're on Google Find Time.
I'm looking at my calendar,
and I think I can blow your shit up, yes.
But I did think this would be an important sort of pre conversation to have where we lay down
some ground rules just about like what you can ask us,
what you can't ask us.
Um,
and how everyone should behave on that show.
Okay.
So this is when you guys come on my show.
We're getting ready. This is a show to get ready for your show. This is prep for when you guys come on my show we're getting ready this is a show to get ready
for your show this is prep for when you by the way and i am available you would individually
come on the show you wouldn't come together yeah either one okay okay yeah individual okay yes and
we're open to that as well great and then the then the next one, we'll do it. Like whichever one didn't go first,
we'll go third.
Actually, we'll go to.
We'll do it.
We'll do two with both of us.
Yeah.
One.
Someone does the first episode,
then the next one does two and three.
And then the other one comes back for four and five.
So one's going to have a three parter
and one's going to have a-parter and not at all
not what we're saying no no no it's snake style so it is one two and three then four and five
six and seven yeah makes total sense we probably do eight total that thing thank you yeah yeah but it's about boundaries i don't know
like do you have the conversation like with all because it's sensitive stuff i mean we've all
been feeling pretty sensitive you were remembering you know nicknames and we were talking we shared
these great griddle you know meal memories that we talked about stepmom and these are these are minors
like these are children yeah when you ask me about my childhood memory you are asking
you are interrogating me about a minor yeah i am who is as as you've indirectly noted
probably probably somewhat fugly yeah all minors probably something of a shame
yeah yeah um so what are the boundaries well how do you usually hand i'm sure this is the
conversation that you have yeah reliability reasons like how do you normally handle this
um you know if you were to come on my show... We are going to.
When we are going to.
When you're
on the show,
when you're on the show apart, I would ask
each of you individually
what
you were like in high school.
So, again, this is...
Yeah, that's a little too personal.
Yeah, I guess. And I understand if that's sensitive to you. that's a little too personal yeah I guess and I understand that that's sensitive to you
so then
maybe I'm thinking you probably shouldn't
come on the show we are going to
whether we should or not
we can have the conversation
whether we should or not but it is going
let's find what you
would want to talk about as it pertains
to high school
why don't you tell me that we wow ready for this so you don't normally i mean i get like this is
not a standard part of the like the process for you so you had gabrus on right yeah um he does i
know he doesn't want to talk about like long island for example at all and so like
that's something that like he's gonna put he's gonna put these like barriers up he's gonna put
walls up and you can probe and probe but he's never gonna let his guard down around that yeah
yeah he never wants to talk about long island yeah he never wants to talk about being like a zany
jerk off guy yes he never wants to talk about um you better
not bring up being a lifeguard no no very close to the vest very guard i know he very upset very
upset definitely doesn't want to talk about having sex yes yes and that's yes definitely doesn't want
to talk about off in a room of friends.
I would say, you know, if
and if they weren't friends at the beginning,
they're not friends
at the end, hun. They're also
not going to be friends afterwards.
If they're not friends at the beginning, that basically
means they're never going to be friends.
They're never going to be friends at the end.
But what I'll say is
because you did bring it up
don't ask me what i think sex feels like
you know i mean just like let's do a classy episode of the show uh i i think it's great
you're doing a podcast uh you know i love the whole team over at forever and we'll say that
and we were more than happy to say that on the show.
Like, we will pump you up for sure.
We'll put in a great word for you with your audience.
I will co-sign for you.
No, I'll say that you kick ass.
You're awesome.
That I think that you should be doing this.
But like, let's for one episode.
Don't ask me what I think sex feels like.
Okay, you're right.
It's honestly.
That's for our right it's crazy that i've been getting away with asking every single one of my guests that
comes on the show what sex feels like or what they think yeah or what they think it feels like
because everyone that comes on the show famously has never had sex. And I know
that even though you have a son,
you still have never
had sex. Therefore,
you can only
kind of guess what
sex might feel like.
There's no way. You're leaning towards asking
me at this point. And so I'd like
to move. You want to move on?
At least away from me if
hypothetically hypothetically what do you think it would feel like it's gotta be insane
yeah it's gotta feel so crazy right i guess uh yeah i mean this must be totally weird
I mean, that must be totally weird.
Yeah.
But, hey, did you have something?
I mean, I do want to set limits.
I will not, under any circumstances,
be discussing how I use the shopping cart as a backpack.
You used a shopping cart as a backpack?
Wow.
Hey, hey, hey. I'm really struggling to remember what I just said,
which has been so flagrantly disregarded.
Shout out to Aron.
I will not explore any aspect of the fact
that I took my books and my pens and my other belongings
from class to class.
Loose?
I mean, no, in a shopping cart.
I don't...
What? Sean?
It's something either...
Now I'm wondering, did we ever get
the sort of sound issue sort of at the beginning
because i know when we very first this was before you had the zoom haze uh she couldn't hear kevin
i was i was lurking i was not video or audio odd but she was trying to talk to kevin
and couldn't hear him and now i'm going, is she only getting every other word? Because you just said, do not ask about this.
This is like me saying, you know, like if I go like, hey, don't ask me about like, do not ask me about when I stole teacher's car.
And then I mean, I rebuilt it inside teacher's office, took apart and rebuilt in teacher's office.
How are you going to drive out of there?
Don't ask me about that.
Come on.
I won't.
Or about the time that I'm smoking weed with principal.
You smoked weed with principal?
Gretel!
Gretel!
What did I just say?
Was it principal's car? It was teacher's car it principal's car
teacher's car
teacher's car
principal's pot
no principal's not
holding
hey you got anything
how do you know principal's not holding
believe me
I know
principal I think is holding not this one when they confiscate your pot where do you think it
goes to principal's pocket but this this principle is just textbook chiba hawk the second you light up guess who's arrived oh principal i hit that yeah yeah that's yeah that's
always the way and you go how does he know yeah never brings his own you know no shit man i think
that's cashed that's cashed when i handed it to you it was dank there was a lot of green left how the fuck is that cash principal god i knew you were
gonna get me talking about this somehow but i feel like principal always like
will still hit it to smoke the resin well yeah well exactly like i think that's cash don't worry i'll take care of
that yeah and it's like okay and then you're like wait i have keith in my grinder principle
i can pop that on the end of a cigarette and we can blaze out of here. That's just what I know.
That's how I know principle.
Keith in the tip of the parliament light.
Keith head. Yeah.
Damn, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
Dude.
Yeah.
No, that's principle
I don't want to talk about using the shopping cart
as my
my seat in class
no
you bringing up the backpack
that I hoped we had settled
yes
but then I'm also sitting in it for class
yeah
are you sitting in the seat part where you can put a toddler
or are you sitting in the physical cart itself like are your feet hanging out of the little
my tuchus is in the is in the is in the seat part but you know like i'm a big boy and so my legs are reverse cowgirl off the other end no this is uh this is
cowman yes regular cowman regular cowman off the off the main off the front my legs are in the
basin my legs are i see yeah holding it down because you're a teen, so you would technically flip
the cart.
I am flipping backwards sometimes.
Yeah.
Glancing off the wall as I go down.
Would you have to wear a helmet?
No, I don't
have to. I can do whatever I want.
He's making his own rules.
Probably, I would say
don't ask me about wearing my theater costume
for the play at the school all day and ask you about what don't ask me about the day of the big
play to wear my theater costume to every class oh you wore your costume to every class i didn't
actually don't ask me about it if the lacrosse team gets to wear their little shirt and their helmet to
class every day yeah while we won't be discussing this it does seem like it would follow that the
other after-school activities should there be different a clothing aspect to their work and it is work and it is a job yes that that should also be
something that they are allowed to promote everyone you know it's come to the big game
tonight look i got my jersey on well isn't it just as badass to say hey come to the big show
tonight i'm wearing like a lab coat for some reason well what was the pants what was the play what
was your high school play you just said not to ask me about this well you told me to not ask
you about the costume you wore to class i'm asking about the play there's more than one play
well think about your wife pin pin
Pin, pin.
Were you both in theater in high school?
I would go watch his.
So I was in the theater.
I'm watching.
I'm going.
You're in.
You're physically in the theater watching.
Yeah.
If you want to see it, you're going to have to be in there.
But I treat my. We ain't bringing it out.
Except when I wear that costume to class.
My role.
You got me talking about it.
I think you guys are
both giving me um life right now uh yes that you took the words right out of my mouth
two hosts that are giving me life right now yeah um did you guys go to prom? Which one?
Either.
Which prom?
Oh, junior prom, senior prom.
Both years, one year.
My junior?
Yeah.
I went, and I'm happy to discuss it.
Okay.
It's in bounds.
You can ask.
I'll allow it.
Aspects of it. of it a thin ice counselor i'd rather not explore in detail or or not just like at all like how i am bringing all my food there in a shopping
cart you brought your own dinner to prom in a shopping cart. Let's not bring up me wearing a play costume to prom.
Yeah. Try to drum up business
for us to play. Again, what play
was that? There's been
a lot of plays. Yeah, but the one
specifically as it pertains to your
prom. You want him to name them all?
It was what?
As Bees and Honey Drown.
And what was
Bees and Honey Drown? As Bees and Honey Drown. As bees in honey drown? And what was... As bees in honey drown.
As bees in honey drown.
And were you dressed as a bee?
Okay, somebody hasn't seen as bees in honey drown.
No.
I'm dressed as Caden, the literary agent.
Good God.
Griddle, crack a book, you know, like a playbook.
No, I know as Bees and Honey Drown is a famous play.
Okay, go on.
Did you actually do that as your high school production?
One of many.
Really?
Interesting.
He was...
Seems like a relatively contemporary play.
He was the jock who the theater teacher is like,
I really see something special in you.
I'd love to see you try out for the play this semester.
And does that every semester
every single semester they go and then i always go i don't know i'm more doing sports and then
he has to like corner me in the hallway and go like hey the way you move out on that field it's
almost like a dancer would you want to be a backup dancer in this production of merrily we roll along
i feel like you were really good in theater get out of here that's not even what this is about
i didn't want to talk about this stuff i said i didn't want to talk about it i'm just saying it
i think i think you were probably really good. That's a compliment.
I guess I can't sue you for slander.
Can we meet Caden?
Ah, geez, I don't know. Is Caden even here?
I don't know.
Maybe you have to go get him or something.
let's see i mean like maybe i don't know maybe you have to go get them or something i guess to me like cadence so far away you could meet
mark from art by yasmina reza wow okay all right i'll give you one line as mark from art by yasmina reza okay and this is and this is
an exclusive for you because you like senior superlatives and i did place third as most
theatrical second runner up hang on let me find mark mark are you there i don't give a fuck what paul valeray says surge wow
and they let you say that it's in in the school
room outside the school yeah outside the school that one was at an outside yeah yeah and you
and greta we're like if you want to participate yeah like get in here if you want to pissed is
there something you want to say is there you want to if you didn't like it you can say that
like it's open to interpretation oh my god yeah you know the lines are very blurry to me now
well you know whoa where mark from art ends and where yeah where's the clem dog
rishon from podcast begins yeah kind of um you know i'm feeling like maybe i need another 24
ounces of coffee you know it's like i don't i don't fully know not me i feel like i'm
kind of in um i'm kind of in oh god what was that movie that christopher nolan movie that christopher
nolan movie that movie yes that movie yes christopher nolan and poo bear and poo bear and Christopher Nolan and Pooh Bear. And Pooh Bear and the Rubik's Cube.
Hundred Acre Wood, yes.
Yes.
Sort of what is reality?
When does reality begin and when does reality end? When are we being serious and when are we in a game?
When are we making jokes?
And when are we shaming people for being named Griddle Tittleman
and telling Griddle Tittledle men to I don't know
crack a book trying to make griddle
tiddle men sort of like seem uneducated
and like she doesn't know what
fucking plays are you know so yeah maybe
I'm a little upset
you asked me if I was dressed as a bee
I mean I was you told me
not to actually ask what are you I'm
gonna say were you just as a
what is that play even about a con artist is that correct ultimately yes
and isn't that in a fashion what all plays are about yeah you always what are we screw
weiler that's what cadaden tells Evan Wyler,
the young upcoming author who's been conned.
What are we up on that stage but con artists, though, right?
Exactly.
Exactly. And at the end of the night, aren't we all just like
one by one showing up at the fountains of the Bellagio?
Yeah, like in Ocean's Eleven. 11 okay it's not that was that
and they are they do go to the i guess yeah yeah i guess that's an example of that is part of that
movie yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no i gotta re-watch that but i did that i did a high
school production of that yeah and were you dressed as a bee?
I mean, there is
He was dressed as being himself.
Yeah.
That's good.
I played myself.
That's great.
It was like the premise of the show
was like experimental theater was like
what if Hayes
was like in Ocean's Eleven like accidentally like if it was happening right he was just seeing it all. He was like, is if haze was like in oceans 11 like accidentally like if it was
happening right he was just seeing it all he was like is nobody else seeing this these guys are
like doing like a big con or something and this guy's got a different outfit okay wait
look out stick tube became a human there is a man in your house there's a man in my house there's a man in my
house he really i gotta say he really made a three-course meal out of that yeah he did scene
stealer does he what he was doing is he on camera talent or does he just desperately want to be he
desperately wants to be and i don't that doesn. And I don't, that doesn't,
I'm the only one that's allowed to do that in this household.
Just heaps, yeah.
I squander, I squander his dreams.
He found his angles.
Yeah.
He's got, you know, I was about to stop it
and be like, wait a minute.
Maybe he's the guest.
Oh.
Griddle, griddle.
Move out of frame.
Griddle, move over. Yeah, i'll tell him to come back in this episode you don't have to part what are we gonna do we don't have a guest for the rest of the episode wait do that again
he just sort of looks and is kind of pissed again. He peeks in again. I see him through the mirror moving about the house.
How many podcasts does he have?
Is he still with Forever Dog?
Is there tension there?
Abe, do you want to peek your head back in?
Wow.
Serving.
What's happening?
What are we talking about?
Well, we're talking about a lot of things.
He just said, what's up, dog man?
Okay. Have fun. You as well. He just said, what's up, dog man? Okay.
Have fun.
You as well.
He didn't like that?
Nope.
It's you get one chance with the dog.
You get one chance at the dog man.
And if you don't, if he don't, you know, if he's the dog man up top, it ain't ever going to happen for you.
No second chance. No second chances with the dog man. top. It ain't ever going to happen for you. No second chance at first impression, man.
No second chances with the dog man.
I didn't get to talk, so there's a chance
I could repair my relationship with the dog man.
Maybe me, him, and Gabrus get alone
in a room and start a real friendship.
Yeah, start jacking off.
That's not what I
meant, gentlemen.
Well, you said if you don't
begin as friends jacking off, you're certainly not going to end as friends.
It's going to end up in a much worse place.
Absolutely.
Than where it started.
100%.
Great.
I have a question for you.
Yes.
Have you ever interviewed someone and they're telling a story about their high school experience?
And in your mind, you're going, this ain't true.
No.
People being fake on there.
I have a similar question.
Have you ever been interviewing someone and they're telling you a high
school experience and in your head,
you're going to saying it chief.
Again,
no,
that's never happened. That never happened. happened no no i gotta listen to the show more
i mean you know i think that uh yeah no everyone everyone has always been it has been has come
it's been itchy every chief has been it so far yeah every chief has been it every chief that's
come on the show has been it you you two every chief has been it every chief that's come on the show
has been it you you two when you come on separately over your eight episode or together yeah um could
be the first where i'm sitting there and i'm listening to the tales that you're weaving to
me from high school and i'm going something ain't right yeah, yeah. I'm going something doesn't. Doesn't quite add up.
Quite add up.
Yeah, and Chief, I think this may not be it.
Yeah.
Well, I hope that doesn't happen.
We'll have a lot of time to sort through it on your show
when we're there for our residency.
Do we want it since we have Kevin here?
Do we want to book it now?
Kevin, do you want to pull up?
Pull out the calendar and just get this locked in?
Greta, what's your Saturday morning looking like?
This Saturday is not good.
Next Saturday would be great.
Around 11 a.m.
Don't say next Saturday morning.
Next Saturday.
That's it.
Say that.
And we're going to have to do all eight in one day.
So
be prepared for that.
Okay.
My man feeding a pet or something in the background.
Is dog man
feeding a pet?
What's he up to?
Dog man was feeding himself
in the background.
What were we doing? Some Cheerios?
Dog man was eating ice, I think.
That's what I feed him.
Okay, so he is the Dogman.
Yeah.
He eats the ice and falls off the floor out of the machine.
You're like, no!
Dogman running out for a puppuccino at Starbucks.
Yeah.
Gets a cup of ice and a puppuccino.
Yeah, exactly. Delicious. Yum. Yum. Bye. yeah gets a cup of ice and a puppuccino yeah exactly
delicious
yum
bye
Hollywood Hamburg
that was a hate gum podcast