Hollywood Handbook - Harvey Guillén, Our Movies Friend
Episode Date: June 30, 2020The Boys welcome HARVEY GUILLÉN to the show to help him make What We Do In The Shadows back into a movie. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
this is a head gum podcast
so i walk i'm walking up to the guy and he's like way he's like leaning against this car
guy or the this yes big guy big fella yes oh legs yes yes you know how some guys are like like all legs yes the legs guy oh
you're walking right up to him wow i wouldn't do that pretty small like um or like normal size but
like really um big like like normal normal size huh normal size we don't say that hayes i'm sorry we don't say
that right we say medium size okay we say big legs or we just don't mention it or we just don't talk
about it at all no you're right you're right but you're walking up to him yeah and so i walk up
and i'm like you know i'm undercover, so I'm snapping my fingers.
Shuffling your feet.
Yeah, and I'm sort of sashaying up in a very cool, casual way.
And I'm like, hey, I heard that you have some of the sparkly stuff, you know, fireworks.
some of the sparkly stuff you know fireworks and the guy is like who are you who like who like who told you that like what is like what's your deal who sent you why are you yeah why are you dressed
like this like who are you yeah definitely why are you dressed like this um like why do you have a
suit of armor on like why are you you know like why are you some sort
of cowboy knight where you have like a cowboy hat and a big belt buckle over your suit of armor
i've had this same conversation with this big leg guy oh you talked to him too yeah yeah yeah i mean
i wasn't undercover i was legitimately trying to get some of the sparkly stuff oh i'm running a psyop operation where you
set off fireworks to what's the point of your psyop operation it's uh it's twofold um it is
sleep deprivation and it is so that the neighbors will not call the police when i am practicing the
drums later oh okay for me in my case i don't know if this i mean i guess it was i guess it was the same guy
uh it was uh it's a you know like the guy at this door at the front of the store
who is like he has he has some money but you also give him some money?
At the store?
At the front of the store.
Not the guy on the Slim Jim package.
No, not him.
I tried.
I tried to buy from him.
Nothing.
Can you hear me?
Hello?
My Zoom's messing up.
Oh, sorry.
Should I just introduce Harvey? Sean, should i introduce harvey is this any better
sean sean i can hear you can you hear me should i introduce harvey sean
harvey can you hear me? Yes, I'm here.
Okay, don't.
No, no, no.
Don't respond.
Don't go into a whole thing.
I just want to know if you are there.
So if I do need to introduce you, then I can.
I can just go ahead and do it.
But right now, don't say anything.
And now Sean is gone.
Okay, so Kevin.
Hi.
I am going to introduce Harvey.
Okay.
But when Sean comes back, I need you to say that it was, that you made me do it.
It was your idea.
Okay.
Okay.
Is he going to get mad at me, though?
No.
You promise?
Yes, I promise.
Hi, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in
the red carpet linebackers of this industry we call showbiz.
I'm so excited to introduce Harveyvey hello harvey hello sean i'm really sorry haze i i had
to have him introduce harvey it was like super important that we had to do it but we had agreed
i mean kevin actually did make me do it but we had agreed beforehand right that i was going to introduce
harvey yeah and so what actually happened was kevin did make me do it and he said that he was
going to like like make me choke on his billfold which in which i've seen it like sean are you
there i'm here okay and like you know i've it and like, I really don't think I could like handle that.
I thought I was going to make you choke on my Ben folds, not Bill folds.
But that's what you call your Bill fold because it has so many Ben's.
So many fives.
Yeah, you're right.
So, but Sean, if you want to introduce Harvey now, you can.
So, but Sean, if you want to introduce Harvey now, you can.
Well, it takes a little bit of the shine off it, but...
So, you know, I had this whole intro planned.
I guess I'll still do it.
Ladles and jelly spoons,
introducing the one, the only, the cool badass and don't worry if he
is also one of your favorite actors because he's mine too so not embarrassing to admit
and don't get in the way of a big punch from him he gonna knock you into next week and when you
wake up you'll still be a fan because of all the cool stuff that he does
ladles and jelly spoons and let's not forget his name rhymes with tarvey the man the myth the legend
mr harvey and harvey you can uh you can thank me that That wasn't my full name. Huh? Harvey Guillen.
Harvey Guillen, yeah.
You say your entire
first, middle, and last name?
No, not middle. Just my full. Harvey Guillen.
Okay, your full name is like...
You want to hit us with your social?
Well, not my full name, but if you were going to introduce someone...
We'll say it. We will say it.
I'll put your social security number in here.
Please don't do that. That's not necessary.
Harvey. You're probably incorporated. I'll put your social security number in here. Please don't do that. That's not necessary. Harvey, you're probably incorporated.
I'll put your tax ID number, employer identification number.
So you want us to say Harvey Guillen every time we refer to you?
It's fine. No, no.
That was like a little bit of a ride in the nose anticlimactic.
It was just like the... It's fine.
Okay.
Just the fact that you said something makes me think that...
No.
It wasn't.
My mistake.
When somebody plans and then nails the hell out of a big intro for me,
a lot of times what I do is I hit them with the thank you.
And it's okay to criticize part of it,
but also to even mention at all all the other nice stuff that he said about you punching your fans, and yet they actually still wake up and they are still fans of yours.
Maybe it's a cultural thing.
It's just different.
What culture, specifically?
Sorry?
What culture?
Which culture?
My culture.
What is your culture? What's my culture? Wow. which culture my culture which what is your culture what's my culture wow what's my culture is that bad do we not do that no i'm just i i just thought
you were you know i'm your i'm your guest okay that we would have like done done some research
about that yeah a little bit yeah a little um
well harvey i actually did do some and harvey guillen is american and talk about being uh
talk about uh the great state of america and yes and talk about how that's impacted us
talk about american music tell me about this growing up with this i grew up with
music just like you did from america the from baby to all the way to grown talk about american food
uh okay it says on your wikipedia that your nationality is american so interesting and let's and let's just dive right into this yeah we're it's the
melting pot you know what is that and what what kind of food goes in what do you eat out what is
in the melting pot pringles chips no i think i uh grew up around uh different kinds of foods yeah
tacos thai food uh sub-ahurian like different types that's what makes america
so great it's the harvey harvey harvey harvey what you're sipping on nothing at the moment
um i was sipping on some water just for future reference you know like if we do ask what you
like what you sipping on in the future it doesn't necessarily mean like that you have to have a straw in your mouth when that question is being asked it can mean that like you just have a
drink that you are sort of gradually getting through over the course of the the show like
that we'll be asking again we'll be asking again and when we ask next time we don't need you to
have a mouthful of water and it spills out when you answer because you're in the act of sipping you just can be sipping on it
today while we do the show and you could just tell us hey this is water and and sell the water a
little bit because people need to hydrate okay when speaking of uh acting what we do in the shadows yes is that a cat one of my cats i think he found a bug
or something and he's going crazy trying to catch this bug and it's it sounds like they're in pain
but this is actually a really good um i you know in a way we can sort of learn from the cat because the cat is really like sharing and like
really being enthusiastic about like uh like high energy and like giving to the show you know what i
mean and so i think there is like maybe something that we can learn from it like when like the what
the the what you sipping on question, I think, is a great example.
Perfect example.
Thanks for bringing that up.
Yes.
Where, like, Sean, like, do you want to play?
Should I play it out with Sean really fast?
Sure.
Sean, what you sipping on?
Oh, thank you for asking me that.
Hey, man, you know me.
I'm sipping on some ice cold refreshing soaking wet wawa and let me give you
a quick little gargle oh that's nice oh some dripped onto myself let me just uh go ahead and
mop it up with my shirt and oops now my shirt's off and i guess how'd that happen and now i am really starting to shake
it and move it without a shirt on during the show and you see how harvey that now paints an image
for the listener that makes them go oh this is quite a podcast click subscribe yeah that's that's
an image i i won't forget and now sean has uh is not on cam for this episode. Well, none of us are on cam.
This is a, right?
No, we are actually.
So that thing, like, I can see you, Harvey.
Can you, you can't see me?
I can see you.
I wasn't told.
Okay, so that's cam.
That's on cam.
Okay.
I thought we were on camera.
No, no, no.
I mean, yes, we are. I know, but I was told that we were going to do, I thought mean yes we are i know but i was told that we
were gonna do i thought it was a podcast without visual was this audio no but just i'm just saying
like how we can see each other obviously it would take a camera to do that so we are on camera yeah
this explains maybe because you thought that we couldn't see you why you were so visibly hating
everything that was happening on the show and i would just say
like be the cat who found a bug of podcast guests like that is sort of a lesson to take with you
for other shows ours will be fine thank you harvey uh what we do in the shadows yes what do we think about this like how are we
let's like how are we feeling about it i think we had a great season okay you know and i'm excited
for season three great attitude really positive attitude thank you that i mean like what a great
place to like start from you know what i I mean? Just to start, to go in
with that kind of attitude
is huge. I want that,
man, to have that perspective
where I'm just like, you know what? We had a great
season. Just to
come at it that way is so cool.
I actually think it was great.
We can do
something with that for sure.
Okay. Because like... Like, that, like, we can do something with that for sure. Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Because, like... Because then we're building from something.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You go, like, you know, you have this house that, like, stinks.
It, like, smells really bad.
It's fucked up.
The house is missing pieces.
Yeah, it's falling down yeah big piece gone
the floor is somehow there is no there's no floor it smells like shit the stench of the house
and the fact that when you go to step into the house you get hurt because you fall through the floor and the way it looks which
is it looks like shit if we're approaching that house and we're saying like i don't
like this house at all then let's just i don't want to do this house let's just detonate it
let's just like blow it let's go to a different house and just ignore it yeah yeah exactly which
we might have to do anyway we but we may have to but we don't want to start there because we haven't even but if we say like
i actually think this is a good that we had a very good house yeah in that case okay now we can like
get in there and do something with this and wash some of the whatever is making it smell so bad i
don't even know what it is yet this house had a great season i would say yeah i go hey this house had a great season is someone there harvey is someone in the room
are you talking are you like it sounded like you were like mouthing someone to someone like
standing right off screen is someone like watching you uh no one no one's watching
okay you're checking in with them as you answer when you say no one's watching me you're making
eye contact with someone and you're kind of telling them like hey i'm saying what you told
me to say no one's watching me i'm no that sounds like a lifetime movie with a hostage
that's not what's happening now that could be okay so that that's interesting to me
that what you just said like makes me
think like that you are
aware of like other shows
and like stuff that has been on
TV before stuff like that stuff that has
worked you know I watch TV
okay wow that's great
that's huge okay this is what we were looking
for from the American music question is like
just really digging in and acknowledging
like hey man this is my
experience because watching the show i am sometimes like this is like interesting i don't think the
people involved have ever seen a tv show before does that make sense yeah but now i'm learning
that we have seen this great right some of this stuff is a choice so
like the missing part of the house where there's like no door there's just like a big rusty chain
hanging down where like the sink is supposed to be you go well they made a choice so there was
some there was some thought put into this and that makes it even easier to kind of uh adapt so what can we what's the best way we can help today
where do we start i mean i know yeah what's the best way help and help today i don't help fix
help fix the the house the house is the show harvey the house is fine the house doesn't need
any fixing no it's not so sorry it's not a real house
yeah but it's right we're talking about you're talking about metaphor and it's like yeah it's
stinked and it smelled like shit smell like shit yeah yes and that somehow you fell through the
floors and now you're covered with shit stinky stinky make you make you throw up while being
shirtless and That was different.
That was different.
That was from drinking water.
That was from drinking water, and I sold the water.
And people at home are probably going to refill their bottle now.
I want water right now.
See?
Yeah, that's good.
That's nice, man. That's cool.
This is cool.
This is cool.
So the show, obviously the show was a movie
great everyone's loving it people are watching it so cool then it's a show people go oh even
more people are seeing it they're going oh okay this is what we're doing now
i the logical next step i think let's make it a movie again
back to movie
let's make it a movie again
movies are back the show is a movie
again
full circle
yeah it's not a circle so much as like
you start walking out
like if you take a couple steps
out onto like a bridge
you go like this isn't safe
and then you just walk back to land and you go like i just shouldn't even have tried
back to movie it's in the theater everyone's having dinner right like let's make this like
a real experience and let's make it a movie again grilled chicken
sandwich okay on a big ciabatta right yeah tell me about the show what do you say when people are
like what's what's your latest project harvey guillen what's and his middle name as well
what's what do you what do you what do you say like how do you describe it well currently i'm
working on another project so we're talking about shadows what we do in the shadows okay this this
could be good though no pitch me the other one what's the other project i don't have to pitch
it it's already this might be better just saying harvey you you might want to you might want to
pitch it i don't know no i'm not if the
show's being made as it doesn't need to be pitched right but you should sell me on it i mean right
well okay you never know i'm just saying like in like in this you're in la yeah it's like we're
pitching to you know nbc or something like the peacock or something just you never know right
that's all i'm saying so like do you just whoever
you're talking to i'm not it's not my show to pitch i can't pitch it because i i'm a cast member
on sorry i thought you were doing it i thought you said you were doing it i am doing it okay
yeah but it's already been pitched and picked up and we're in full production so it's not like
pitching and then getting a call that um it's not going forward and what is that
what show is that i can't talk about it sounds like i mean it sounds good this is intriguing
to me and we may want to do a little bit of this with with shadows where we make exactly what you
do we just do we just do this but it's literally in the shadows like we don't talk about it we don't even know
it's there but you do know it's there the show's on its second season the show you're working on
now is the isn't it second season you can't even talk about it who are you talking to harvey i just
saw you do a wrap it up signal who is there that's not true i was like i thought i saw a fly and i
was like and you're tracking you're asking the fly to wrap it up?
No.
So if you see a fly like that, what you could do is be like,
and start jumping around.
I can't tell if that's you or the cat.
And that lets us, good.
That lets us know, we're like, hey, this guy's really into this bug.
I'll try that next time.
Hollywood handbook.
Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, try that next time. Hollywood Hamburg. Eating better
is easy with factors.
Delicious, ready to eat meals.
Every fresh, never frozen
meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved,
ready to go in just
two minutes.
Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes,
Chef Kevin is here
with his new show,
The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh never frozen
meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like
here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a
recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us
a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and
there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus
and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons
to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of
them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the
the promise is the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you
will be added on to your bed.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.
It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
They have smoothies and things like that.
Reservation for two?
Me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second? It's you and your bed?
I got clippy.
Fuel up fast with F with factors restaurant quality meals that
are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancakes smoothies and more discover a wide
variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even
this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the
actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one huge chicken nugget sign up and
save we've done the math factor is less expensive than takeout every meal is dietitian approved to
be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys 50 and use code the boys
50 to get 50 off that's code the boys 50 ateals.com slash THEBOYS50 to get 50% off.
Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works.
Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like,
hey, I trust you.
I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language.
Can Babbel teach me body language?
Yes.
language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10 minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start
speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real
conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a
nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind
of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their whole finger hurt
i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider
down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something
like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks
like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like
almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as
i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost
and they're really aggressively
like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it at
the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very
subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babbles tips and tools
are approachable accessible rooted in real life
situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so
you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world studies from yale michigan
state university and others can't feel good to be others there continue to prove babble is better one study found that using babble for 15 hours is equivalent to a
full semester at college babble has over 60 million subscriptions sold all 14 all of their
14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee here's a special
limited time deal for our listeners right now get 55 off your babble subscription but only for our listeners at babble.com slash the boys get 55 off at babble.com slash the boy spelled b-a-b-e-l.com
slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply.
With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy,
but you'll always be glad you did it.
Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.
Hey, guys.
Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,
monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
You can see all your subscriptions in one place,
and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service.
The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize
what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses
into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses
before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way
you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know
by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to
become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble
anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human
to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was a... It was a vinaigrette.
It was a raspberry vinaigrette.
It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
They'll even try to get you a refund
for the last couple months of wasted money
and negotiate to lower your bills for you
by up to 20%.
All you have to do is take a picture of your bill
and Rocket Money takes care of the rest.
They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 dollars a year
with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be
fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia
you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh
yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your
unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys
harvey it's vampires yes yes yeah see there's a there's things yes you have a poster the the
poster is behind you seems like you did maybe think that there was at least potential to be on cam
because the poster is right there.
I do all my interviews here.
This is where I also host the pre-show for Before the Shadows.
And that's on cam?
That's on cam.
You can see all the episodes beforetheshadows.com.
Beforetheshadows.com before the shadows.com own dedicated
url yeah okay why is it why is it uh why is it vampires uh it's just some uh behind the scenes
bts why is it vampire no sorry not before the shadow oh sorry okay why are though on that as
well why on all of it? Why is it vampires?
No one ever says why.
No one ever says why.
I've seen the entire show.
Scares the hell out of me.
And I never heard anyone say
here's why we're doing this.
They don't say why.
I don't think it needs an explanation.
Okay well I am.
It does.
The actual audience. And I have seen every episode like i
just said and so i am sort of an authority on whether it is a question and it definitely is
and i'm asking it out loud the entire time and as someone who's watched with hayes and and i have been over to his place to
enjoy the show uh he's asking it really loud and it's constant and it is he is asking very quickly
at a very high pitch and until it gets answered i don't think i'm going to be able to enjoy or understand the show at all
so what did people say yeah go ahead so what did people say about like you do it just go ahead yeah
do you want me to go you go ahead no sorry sorry no good on the before so what were you gonna ask
case i was gonna say that i'll wait for harvey to go no let's have
harvey answer and then tell him what you're gonna sorry you go that's fine well i just had one yeah
no i'll go no you go ahead yeah okay so i well i was my feeling okay i feel like i'm not gonna
finish i had a pitch basically i can hear you yeah okay when Okay. When I ask, okay,
like if I ask what you sipping on,
the answer really should be blood.
Okay.
But I'm not a vampire in the show.
But you,
but you,
you do have powers.
Okay.
Right. Uh, if by powers, you mean I'm a natural born uh vampire killer because of my lineage then
i guess so yeah yeah that's powers so why would i be drinking blood if i'm a vampire killer
so you can know what it tastes like so you can if you approach a vampire and you don't know if he's
a vampire or not and he's sipping something in a can that you can't you approach a vampire and you don't know if he's a vampire or not and he's
sipping something in a can that you can't actually see the color of it and he says i'm not a vampire
and you take a sip from the can and it tastes like blood and you say so you actually were a vampire
the whole time killing you if you're on the weed patrol and you kick down the door and it's just a
bunch of guys smoking cigarettes because you didn't know what it smelled like you're gonna get your ass busted back down off the weed patrol
yeah i didn't think about it like that i know and so this is why it's like it's questions it's like
asking questions if we had asked at the beginning of this why is it vampires we probably would never
have gotten into this at all you know what i mean
yeah we would have like this pickle that we're in now where we're kind of trying to hopefully
make it back into a movie if we're lucky and a very different movie at that it's in staten island
it's in staten island yes the show takes place in Staten Island. Is the king there? What? Is the king present for any of it?
Are you his loyal subject?
I see what you did there.
He didn't do anything.
No.
He said something funny.
He said something funny.
Dracula, nice guy.
Nice guy. Cool. Okay, now you're saying complete sentences to someone standing
oh i think i was just behind into the side of the so i don't know what's going on no you're
also in la you're in the same place as i am we you are not supposed to have your team i know
you're not talking to your team that's actually like in the room because you you are not supposed to have your team i know you're not talking to your team that's
actually like in the room because you really are not supposed to be in that close proximity right
now and i should have said even even when i go to watch the show at hayes's house we you know
he has basically his house is divided in in the middle with like a big plexiglass uh um sort of wall and i'll sit on the
other side of the couch because he's doing a lot of like as i said he's asking the question very
loud asking a question so loud yeah and he's doing a lot of other stuff too yeah no i was just
checking i thought i heard something and i was looking over there. Maybe it was that fly again.
No, I was just looking over there.
It wasn't.
It definitely wasn't the fly.
You thought you heard something, but it definitely wasn't the fly.
Okay.
Yeah, well, there's a big space here, so I could easily be six feet apart from.
Okay, my man's working with a big space over there.
How many square feet are we talking?
It's just where we felt.
It's fine um it's uh
but i think that uh i thought i heard something what did it sound like we're really sean actually
is really good at knowing what something is based on the sound so what it is what did it sound like
hit me with the sound brother maybe uh it was harv lay the sound on me man okay it was... Harv, lay the sound on me, man. It was something like a...
Okay.
Jeez.
This is a tough one. I do have it.
Hang on. Let me go back into the little library
of sounds I have in my
mind palace.
It's a fly to me.
At least not so different that I would
know for sure that it
was a fly,
especially when I had just seen one, supposedly.
It's a fly, pal.
Yeah, that's what I thought it was.
I thought about it, and I have landed on it being a fly.
I know.
I think it is.
I think you're right.
I should probably go kill it.
You don't have to do anything.
You don't have to go talk to it. Kill the fly.
I should probably go make sure to see the...
If you want to talk to it, that's fine. We could do
that on the podcast. What do you want to say to the fly?
That would be great.
If you just have to go talk
to it, that would be good content to do
right here.
This is Harvey talking to the fly.
Take one.
I'm not going to um this is take two
go ahead and keep it just keep rolling and we're gonna go straight into take two hey fly uh
let's hit it with a take three because we kind of we we sort of stumbled right out of the gate
there and this is take three this is harvey guillen He's talking to the fly. Hey, fly.
When is this going to end?
What?
The fly just like flying around?
Yeah, just flying.
He doesn't know. When is this going to end?
Well, you know what the guy said when he discovered Staten Island?
No.
The guy, what he said?
What did he say?
He said, is Statenen island he did say that admit it he did why this and he admitted it and we actually did say that before
they said it on that other show yeah why staten island it's really but it's i'm just gonna run really quickly and smash it hold
on one second i'm just gonna really just what i'm sorry just really quickly i'm just gonna okay
what the fuck am i supposed to see the whole time he's really talking about the Pull the plug? I don't want to... What is this shit? Okay, literally, I'm...
Just hurry up.
I think... I think I got it.
Why would...
I mean, you did say you were going to talk to it,
but why would you say that the...
Ask a fly to pull the plug.
Pull the plug on what?
I'm getting a phone call now from the hospital.
Okay.
I feel like I should take it.
Okay.
See, if we have to go, that's okay.
If it's an emergency.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello, hospital.
That doesn't sound good.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know.
I know that he's there.
They pulled the plug on him.
He's dead?
So, guys, that was the hospital.
Uh-huh.
So, basically, it's a little complicated, but I...
uh it's a little complicated but i uh so i was involved in a drug cartel a long time ago and one of my great enemies um who was also sort of my boss uh and ultimately i took revenge on
by poisoning him with an undetectable poison known as ricin. And it put him into a coma of sorts.
And he was in the hospital and plugged in
and being kept alive with a series of machines.
I, of course, was also at the same time
changing and becoming my evil persona persona known as high bleeberg uh i i i wear a pork pie hat
and and i have a a really long mustache and i am high bleeberg and so anyway i just told the
hospital like hey if anything changes with this guy's condition, call me.
And apparently someone just came in dressed as a candy striper and it was the Joker and they did pull the plug on him.
And I cannot help but connect this, Harvey, to you saying that someone should pull the
plug.
And I think it was you trying to get out of the podcast by killing my sort of enemy nemesis who i was keeping alive i just don't totally remember
everything that happened but um you know uh is it emergency for me then we should if you have to go
we should end this now well it doesn't matter now but we should probably end it just because
it's an emergency and i hate what does he have to go do i mean yeah no i mean i say emergency like i think it's more emotional i think it sounds like an emotional thing maybe
sean needs some time it is well and please call me hi bleeberg and uh and yeah it is emotional
uh in some ways but in other ways it's like whatever harvey did was there any thought to like the staten island thing was there ever any thought
to setting the show in like lena dunham's new york absolutely not you okay didn't even think
about doing that it never even it never even came up this could have been like hmm I don't know just like
mmm
yeah like it's
or like Times Square even
Times Square yeah
iconic
iconic places
now that it's cleaned up
somewhere that we recognize
or maybe instead of vampires
the story could have been about drug
dealers like me heibleyberg and all the like different like crazy stuff we do with each other
keeping each other on machines and uh ringing a little bell on a chair and yeah um and like feel
free to to pitch harvey i'll pitch that no that's i uh no i mean like feel free to pitch, Harvey. I'll pitch that. No, that's... No, I mean, feel free to contribute.
We're talking about all this stuff.
Feel free to...
I think I'm just going to keep the ideas up here, and then...
You're just going to hang out?
No, yeah.
No, this is fun.
But...
I have a...
Here's an idea.
Viva La Vampires.
You know this?
You know this guy?
Mm-mm.
He is skateboarding, yes, but also blowing up his parents in every
episode he uh basically blows him up with a bomb dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude
off of that off of that similar similar okay bad grandpires bad grandpires so viva the vampires
and bad grandpires because then because now we've
got now this is synergy right because we have two pretty impactful cultural uh phenomenons
bad grandpa and viva labam and they are and they have a similar i think uh voice don't they
mm-hmm so harvey if bad grandampire is Viva La Bam's grandpa
and he's able to blow him up...
The advantage of this also,
often in original Bam,
the show,
he is blowing up his parents
mostly at night
when they're asleep.
Have to do night vision cam.
For Viva La Bampires,
we will be blowing up his parents
during the day
because they are asleep during the day because they are
asleep during the day we can use a normal camera mode and it's easier to shoot i'll i'll uh i'll
bring that up night shoots huh lena dunham's new york has inspired me to have another idea campfires
jennifer garner is camping camping camping pyres camp with a bunch of misfits
lena and jenny at the helm we get some of these other clowns out of here
and we have camping pyres and we gather around the campire and uh anything can happen and we
can keep if there's somebody you like working with there
or if you think you should stay on the show
we could keep some of you but we want to make room
too for some of these other crazy characters
Brett Gelman etc
yeah
no that's
that sounds like a good idea
sky's the limit
it does sound like a good idea
that's just like a very obvious observation.
Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't pitch a 13 going on vamp.
Okay.
Okay, Harvey.
Now we've got someone who is actually being a real guest and contributing.
That's so cool.
So how would that work?
The idea is not perfect. No, but we can is not perfect no but we can get it there but
we can get it there no we don't have to get anywhere so what if it's like 13 going on the
30 million years old vampires are getting very old living okay okay 13 going on 30 million years
old vampire birthday cake wish i wish i was 30 million years
old vampire boom now i am i'm a powerful ad executive i'm in sort of a loveless marriage
um i am a 30 million year old vampire uh i get in touch with one of my friends from when i was 13
we all do the thriller dance we all know the thriller dance somehow and do it at a in
a big scene and normal party keep going harvey that could be really good thriller dance is like
vampire stuff yeah keep this going like help feed sean okay somebody feed sean yeah then there's a
character named sean and he's really hungry and he wants to
drink all this blood right and yes sean wants to also be 300 million years old and then sean
similar to the more blood idea yeah okay and yeah and then uh and everyone everyone just fucking dies. Wow.
A little bit.
That's a little dark.
Yeah.
We are ultimately what we're doing with this show and with all our work,
Hayes and I, is trying to sort of inspire some hope in a nation that could really use that.
Just bring a little light into the world.
What do people need today?
We started the show.
What do people need?
The fuck is that? Okay. Harvey. the world what do people need today we start the show what do people need you know okay
harvey now that now that what that was very clearly you speaking to someone else in the room
that was not directed at us who is there no no no harvey No. No. Harvey.
Yeah.
I am concerned.
Maybe there's a connection thing.
Maybe there's a glitch during the video. There's definitely a connection thing.
I am, yeah.
I came here to connect with a talented actor
who I'm a fan of,
who I planned a really good long intro for,
and I was going to help save his show by
turning it back into a movie casting myself in all of the roles and getting rid of some of this
vampire stuff that's really bumming everybody out yeah hopefully making it about going camping with
your friends in time square i think we got it i think uh I hear you, and I'm going to present those ideas. And I think...
You fibbing.
Let's just, like, let's cut through the bullshit.
I mean, like, we want to talk to...
We don't have to talk about just all this, like, Hollywood stuff.
Okay.
I want to talk to Harvey, charlie hunnam guillen
that is that is not your middle name no this wikipedia page is fucked up this i think somebody
somebody's tricking us i think somebody it actually looks like it could have been a mistake
yeah don't believe everything you read let's like get to the the absolute like the meat of this and
like who you are and your story what are you?
Dinner.
What do you have for dinner?
What do I have for dinner?
What do you have for dinner? What are you have for dinner now?
What do you have for dinner?
Harvey?
Yeah.
No, I, uh, that's a good question.
That's very, uh, that's really getting to the core of uh who i am let's deal and um
what do you have for dinner pizza i don't want to answer for you pizza yeah um
yeah no that's that's good i i'm i'm uh good no'm good. I just say it's such a great question.
Such a great question that I can't
think
of the answer.
It's too good a question.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's so worth
asking that question.
Not enough people ask.
No one else will ask.
What are you actually let me say
in dinner if you let him say it yeah yeah actually let him speak it's his good him who him me who
hey harvey my dad's meanest friend was named harvey you got anything to say for yourself
why so i'm still i'm trying to answer that first question there sean about what you're having for
fucking dinner okay you said you couldn't think of anything but yeah so i moved on because you
were basically made it sound like you weren't going to answer it no no um yeah okay let's move
on let's move on let's just okay let's just let's just uh really let's just let's just um
i just want to just point out, if there were someone in the room
who you were asking to unplug,
to pull the plug and unplug the computer,
it wouldn't necessarily work.
No, it wouldn't.
You're right.
It wouldn't.
It would have worked by now.
It would have fucking worked by now.
Okay, so it sounds like you did...
Maybe you did have someone in the room
unplug the computer.
Obviously not.
No, obviously no one's in the room that could do their job and actually pull a plug.
Just in defense of that person a little bit.
No, no one's in the room.
Okay, but if that just like hypothetical and like the show, we are like play acting.
We are able to use our imagination.
Yeah.
The battery might just like take a really long time to like our imagination. The battery might just take a really
long time to end.
You know what I did realize, though,
that I accidentally placed my
computer underneath
this stack of boxes.
I've been doing, yes.
At any moment now,
this table's really
unsturdy. I should not be doing that.
They're wobbling.
The thing is, I really love the questions you guys have.
I just want to say that up front.
Not really up front.
This is kind of like the end.
Well, I think we're having an earthquake.
Kind of the beginning of the middle.
I think we're having, do you guys feel that? The middle's starting. I think we're having an earthquake like kind of the the beginning of the middle i think we're having you guys feel that the middle starting i think we're having an earthquake oh my god
okay well the the your screen is shaking but it's shaking in a very oh my god
it's way it's an it's definitely an earthquake okay oh this is bad seems very localized you know oh my god and we lost we lost him
so that looked like he must have been having like a pretty big earthquake just right under him
and it was also i maybe he was bracing himself against the edges of the computer
but what it looked like to me was that his arms were
doing a lot of the moving you know in the exact same way that the screen was i was noticing so
he said he was like the table's very unsturdy and then he was shaking the table and then the
screen was shaking a certain way and then that looked to me like it gave him an idea i don't
know what it was but then the earthquake happened right after that.
But I saw him make his idea face.
Sucks because I love the show.
I know.
I love the...
Yes, I love that stinky house.
And I was so excited to build a beautiful McMansion there.
So, Kevin.
Hey, guys.
What do we do now?
I'm bummed because I was going to pitch him value or sleeping parentheses during the day.
Well, maybe it is better.
This is good, then, how this worked out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, his PR people left, too.
Yeah, and they just wouldn't
stop talking. Oh, he's back.
No, they just wouldn't stop.
No, they wouldn't stop.
How was I supposed to get out of it?
I can't see it,
but it's just his sound.
I can't see it, but it's just his sound.
No, they just wouldn't stop talking.
His camera's back. Harvey?
Harvey, are you okay?
Oh my god, you guys.
Harvey, we thought you'd like quit
that you'd like just pretend
to have an earthquake and quit the show.
But you really had one?
I did.
I did.
Do you feel sick?
I feel sick to my stomach.
I was informed that
I didn't have an earthquake.
Someone told you you didn't have an earthquake you were
so sick you thought that you were having a real earthquake yeah isn't that isn't that weird wow
i stopped recording bye
that was a hate gum podcast