Hollywood Handbook - Harvey Guillén, Our Movies Friend

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

The Boys welcome HARVEY GUILLÉN to the show to help him make What We Do In The Shadows back into a movie. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 this is a head gum podcast so i walk i'm walking up to the guy and he's like way he's like leaning against this car guy or the this yes big guy big fella yes oh legs yes yes you know how some guys are like like all legs yes the legs guy oh you're walking right up to him wow i wouldn't do that pretty small like um or like normal size but like really um big like like normal normal size huh normal size we don't say that hayes i'm sorry we don't say that right we say medium size okay we say big legs or we just don't mention it or we just don't talk about it at all no you're right you're right but you're walking up to him yeah and so i walk up and i'm like you know i'm undercover, so I'm snapping my fingers.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Shuffling your feet. Yeah, and I'm sort of sashaying up in a very cool, casual way. And I'm like, hey, I heard that you have some of the sparkly stuff, you know, fireworks. some of the sparkly stuff you know fireworks and the guy is like who are you who like who like who told you that like what is like what's your deal who sent you why are you yeah why are you dressed like this like who are you yeah definitely why are you dressed like this um like why do you have a suit of armor on like why are you you know like why are you some sort of cowboy knight where you have like a cowboy hat and a big belt buckle over your suit of armor i've had this same conversation with this big leg guy oh you talked to him too yeah yeah yeah i mean
Starting point is 00:01:58 i wasn't undercover i was legitimately trying to get some of the sparkly stuff oh i'm running a psyop operation where you set off fireworks to what's the point of your psyop operation it's uh it's twofold um it is sleep deprivation and it is so that the neighbors will not call the police when i am practicing the drums later oh okay for me in my case i don't know if this i mean i guess it was i guess it was the same guy uh it was uh it's a you know like the guy at this door at the front of the store who is like he has he has some money but you also give him some money? At the store? At the front of the store.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Not the guy on the Slim Jim package. No, not him. I tried. I tried to buy from him. Nothing. Can you hear me? Hello? My Zoom's messing up.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Oh, sorry. Should I just introduce Harvey? Sean, should i introduce harvey is this any better sean sean i can hear you can you hear me should i introduce harvey sean harvey can you hear me? Yes, I'm here. Okay, don't. No, no, no. Don't respond. Don't go into a whole thing.
Starting point is 00:03:28 I just want to know if you are there. So if I do need to introduce you, then I can. I can just go ahead and do it. But right now, don't say anything. And now Sean is gone. Okay, so Kevin. Hi. I am going to introduce Harvey.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Okay. But when Sean comes back, I need you to say that it was, that you made me do it. It was your idea. Okay. Okay. Is he going to get mad at me, though? No. You promise?
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yes, I promise. Hi, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebackers of this industry we call showbiz. I'm so excited to introduce Harveyvey hello harvey hello sean i'm really sorry haze i i had to have him introduce harvey it was like super important that we had to do it but we had agreed i mean kevin actually did make me do it but we had agreed beforehand right that i was going to introduce harvey yeah and so what actually happened was kevin did make me do it and he said that he was going to like like make me choke on his billfold which in which i've seen it like sean are you
Starting point is 00:04:39 there i'm here okay and like you know i've it and like, I really don't think I could like handle that. I thought I was going to make you choke on my Ben folds, not Bill folds. But that's what you call your Bill fold because it has so many Ben's. So many fives. Yeah, you're right. So, but Sean, if you want to introduce Harvey now, you can. So, but Sean, if you want to introduce Harvey now, you can. Well, it takes a little bit of the shine off it, but...
Starting point is 00:05:14 So, you know, I had this whole intro planned. I guess I'll still do it. Ladles and jelly spoons, introducing the one, the only, the cool badass and don't worry if he is also one of your favorite actors because he's mine too so not embarrassing to admit and don't get in the way of a big punch from him he gonna knock you into next week and when you wake up you'll still be a fan because of all the cool stuff that he does ladles and jelly spoons and let's not forget his name rhymes with tarvey the man the myth the legend
Starting point is 00:05:54 mr harvey and harvey you can uh you can thank me that That wasn't my full name. Huh? Harvey Guillen. Harvey Guillen, yeah. You say your entire first, middle, and last name? No, not middle. Just my full. Harvey Guillen. Okay, your full name is like... You want to hit us with your social? Well, not my full name, but if you were going to introduce someone...
Starting point is 00:06:19 We'll say it. We will say it. I'll put your social security number in here. Please don't do that. That's not necessary. Harvey. You're probably incorporated. I'll put your social security number in here. Please don't do that. That's not necessary. Harvey, you're probably incorporated. I'll put your tax ID number, employer identification number. So you want us to say Harvey Guillen every time we refer to you? It's fine. No, no. That was like a little bit of a ride in the nose anticlimactic.
Starting point is 00:06:41 It was just like the... It's fine. Okay. Just the fact that you said something makes me think that... No. It wasn't. My mistake. When somebody plans and then nails the hell out of a big intro for me, a lot of times what I do is I hit them with the thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:59 And it's okay to criticize part of it, but also to even mention at all all the other nice stuff that he said about you punching your fans, and yet they actually still wake up and they are still fans of yours. Maybe it's a cultural thing. It's just different. What culture, specifically? Sorry? What culture? Which culture?
Starting point is 00:07:23 My culture. What is your culture? What's my culture? Wow. which culture my culture which what is your culture what's my culture wow what's my culture is that bad do we not do that no i'm just i i just thought you were you know i'm your i'm your guest okay that we would have like done done some research about that yeah a little bit yeah a little um well harvey i actually did do some and harvey guillen is american and talk about being uh talk about uh the great state of america and yes and talk about how that's impacted us talk about american music tell me about this growing up with this i grew up with music just like you did from america the from baby to all the way to grown talk about american food
Starting point is 00:08:15 uh okay it says on your wikipedia that your nationality is american so interesting and let's and let's just dive right into this yeah we're it's the melting pot you know what is that and what what kind of food goes in what do you eat out what is in the melting pot pringles chips no i think i uh grew up around uh different kinds of foods yeah tacos thai food uh sub-ahurian like different types that's what makes america so great it's the harvey harvey harvey harvey what you're sipping on nothing at the moment um i was sipping on some water just for future reference you know like if we do ask what you like what you sipping on in the future it doesn't necessarily mean like that you have to have a straw in your mouth when that question is being asked it can mean that like you just have a drink that you are sort of gradually getting through over the course of the the show like
Starting point is 00:09:19 that we'll be asking again we'll be asking again and when we ask next time we don't need you to have a mouthful of water and it spills out when you answer because you're in the act of sipping you just can be sipping on it today while we do the show and you could just tell us hey this is water and and sell the water a little bit because people need to hydrate okay when speaking of uh acting what we do in the shadows yes is that a cat one of my cats i think he found a bug or something and he's going crazy trying to catch this bug and it's it sounds like they're in pain but this is actually a really good um i you know in a way we can sort of learn from the cat because the cat is really like sharing and like really being enthusiastic about like uh like high energy and like giving to the show you know what i mean and so i think there is like maybe something that we can learn from it like when like the what
Starting point is 00:10:22 the the what you sipping on question, I think, is a great example. Perfect example. Thanks for bringing that up. Yes. Where, like, Sean, like, do you want to play? Should I play it out with Sean really fast? Sure. Sean, what you sipping on?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Oh, thank you for asking me that. Hey, man, you know me. I'm sipping on some ice cold refreshing soaking wet wawa and let me give you a quick little gargle oh that's nice oh some dripped onto myself let me just uh go ahead and mop it up with my shirt and oops now my shirt's off and i guess how'd that happen and now i am really starting to shake it and move it without a shirt on during the show and you see how harvey that now paints an image for the listener that makes them go oh this is quite a podcast click subscribe yeah that's that's an image i i won't forget and now sean has uh is not on cam for this episode. Well, none of us are on cam.
Starting point is 00:11:26 This is a, right? No, we are actually. So that thing, like, I can see you, Harvey. Can you, you can't see me? I can see you. I wasn't told. Okay, so that's cam. That's on cam.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Okay. I thought we were on camera. No, no, no. I mean, yes, we are. I know, but I was told that we were going to do, I thought mean yes we are i know but i was told that we were gonna do i thought it was a podcast without visual was this audio no but just i'm just saying like how we can see each other obviously it would take a camera to do that so we are on camera yeah this explains maybe because you thought that we couldn't see you why you were so visibly hating everything that was happening on the show and i would just say
Starting point is 00:12:06 like be the cat who found a bug of podcast guests like that is sort of a lesson to take with you for other shows ours will be fine thank you harvey uh what we do in the shadows yes what do we think about this like how are we let's like how are we feeling about it i think we had a great season okay you know and i'm excited for season three great attitude really positive attitude thank you that i mean like what a great place to like start from you know what i I mean? Just to start, to go in with that kind of attitude is huge. I want that, man, to have that perspective
Starting point is 00:12:51 where I'm just like, you know what? We had a great season. Just to come at it that way is so cool. I actually think it was great. We can do something with that for sure. Okay. Because like... Like, that, like, we can do something with that for sure. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Because, like... Because then we're building from something. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You go, like, you know, you have this house that, like, stinks. It, like, smells really bad. It's fucked up. The house is missing pieces. Yeah, it's falling down yeah big piece gone
Starting point is 00:13:26 the floor is somehow there is no there's no floor it smells like shit the stench of the house and the fact that when you go to step into the house you get hurt because you fall through the floor and the way it looks which is it looks like shit if we're approaching that house and we're saying like i don't like this house at all then let's just i don't want to do this house let's just detonate it let's just like blow it let's go to a different house and just ignore it yeah yeah exactly which we might have to do anyway we but we may have to but we don't want to start there because we haven't even but if we say like i actually think this is a good that we had a very good house yeah in that case okay now we can like get in there and do something with this and wash some of the whatever is making it smell so bad i
Starting point is 00:14:21 don't even know what it is yet this house had a great season i would say yeah i go hey this house had a great season is someone there harvey is someone in the room are you talking are you like it sounded like you were like mouthing someone to someone like standing right off screen is someone like watching you uh no one no one's watching okay you're checking in with them as you answer when you say no one's watching me you're making eye contact with someone and you're kind of telling them like hey i'm saying what you told me to say no one's watching me i'm no that sounds like a lifetime movie with a hostage that's not what's happening now that could be okay so that that's interesting to me that what you just said like makes me
Starting point is 00:15:05 think like that you are aware of like other shows and like stuff that has been on TV before stuff like that stuff that has worked you know I watch TV okay wow that's great that's huge okay this is what we were looking for from the American music question is like
Starting point is 00:15:21 just really digging in and acknowledging like hey man this is my experience because watching the show i am sometimes like this is like interesting i don't think the people involved have ever seen a tv show before does that make sense yeah but now i'm learning that we have seen this great right some of this stuff is a choice so like the missing part of the house where there's like no door there's just like a big rusty chain hanging down where like the sink is supposed to be you go well they made a choice so there was some there was some thought put into this and that makes it even easier to kind of uh adapt so what can we what's the best way we can help today
Starting point is 00:16:08 where do we start i mean i know yeah what's the best way help and help today i don't help fix help fix the the house the house is the show harvey the house is fine the house doesn't need any fixing no it's not so sorry it's not a real house yeah but it's right we're talking about you're talking about metaphor and it's like yeah it's stinked and it smelled like shit smell like shit yeah yes and that somehow you fell through the floors and now you're covered with shit stinky stinky make you make you throw up while being shirtless and That was different. That was different.
Starting point is 00:16:47 That was from drinking water. That was from drinking water, and I sold the water. And people at home are probably going to refill their bottle now. I want water right now. See? Yeah, that's good. That's nice, man. That's cool. This is cool.
Starting point is 00:17:02 This is cool. So the show, obviously the show was a movie great everyone's loving it people are watching it so cool then it's a show people go oh even more people are seeing it they're going oh okay this is what we're doing now i the logical next step i think let's make it a movie again back to movie let's make it a movie again movies are back the show is a movie
Starting point is 00:17:32 again full circle yeah it's not a circle so much as like you start walking out like if you take a couple steps out onto like a bridge you go like this isn't safe and then you just walk back to land and you go like i just shouldn't even have tried
Starting point is 00:17:52 back to movie it's in the theater everyone's having dinner right like let's make this like a real experience and let's make it a movie again grilled chicken sandwich okay on a big ciabatta right yeah tell me about the show what do you say when people are like what's what's your latest project harvey guillen what's and his middle name as well what's what do you what do you what do you say like how do you describe it well currently i'm working on another project so we're talking about shadows what we do in the shadows okay this this could be good though no pitch me the other one what's the other project i don't have to pitch it it's already this might be better just saying harvey you you might want to you might want to
Starting point is 00:18:42 pitch it i don't know no i'm not if the show's being made as it doesn't need to be pitched right but you should sell me on it i mean right well okay you never know i'm just saying like in like in this you're in la yeah it's like we're pitching to you know nbc or something like the peacock or something just you never know right that's all i'm saying so like do you just whoever you're talking to i'm not it's not my show to pitch i can't pitch it because i i'm a cast member on sorry i thought you were doing it i thought you said you were doing it i am doing it okay yeah but it's already been pitched and picked up and we're in full production so it's not like
Starting point is 00:19:21 pitching and then getting a call that um it's not going forward and what is that what show is that i can't talk about it sounds like i mean it sounds good this is intriguing to me and we may want to do a little bit of this with with shadows where we make exactly what you do we just do we just do this but it's literally in the shadows like we don't talk about it we don't even know it's there but you do know it's there the show's on its second season the show you're working on now is the isn't it second season you can't even talk about it who are you talking to harvey i just saw you do a wrap it up signal who is there that's not true i was like i thought i saw a fly and i was like and you're tracking you're asking the fly to wrap it up?
Starting point is 00:20:06 No. So if you see a fly like that, what you could do is be like, and start jumping around. I can't tell if that's you or the cat. And that lets us, good. That lets us know, we're like, hey, this guy's really into this bug. I'll try that next time. Hollywood handbook.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, try that next time. Hollywood Hamburg. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready to eat meals. Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready to go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes,
Starting point is 00:20:39 Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus
Starting point is 00:21:17 and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the the promise is the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.
Starting point is 00:21:53 They have smoothies and things like that. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you and your bed? I got clippy. Fuel up fast with F with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancakes smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even
Starting point is 00:22:14 this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one huge chicken nugget sign up and save we've done the math factor is less expensive than takeout every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys 50 and use code the boys 50 to get 50 off that's code the boys 50 ateals.com slash THEBOYS50 to get 50% off. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10 minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their whole finger hurt
Starting point is 00:24:00 i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it at
Starting point is 00:24:50 the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babbles tips and tools are approachable accessible rooted in real life situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world studies from yale michigan state university and others can't feel good to be others there continue to prove babble is better one study found that using babble for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college babble has over 60 million subscriptions sold all 14 all of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee here's a special
Starting point is 00:25:39 limited time deal for our listeners right now get 55 off your babble subscription but only for our listeners at babble.com slash the boys get 55 off at babble.com slash the boy spelled b-a-b-e-l.com slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply. With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Hey, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
Starting point is 00:26:21 You can see all your subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service. The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to
Starting point is 00:27:06 become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was a... It was a vinaigrette. It was a raspberry vinaigrette. It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing. They'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you
Starting point is 00:27:39 by up to 20%. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 dollars a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your
Starting point is 00:28:18 unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys harvey it's vampires yes yes yeah see there's a there's things yes you have a poster the the poster is behind you seems like you did maybe think that there was at least potential to be on cam because the poster is right there. I do all my interviews here. This is where I also host the pre-show for Before the Shadows. And that's on cam? That's on cam.
Starting point is 00:28:59 You can see all the episodes beforetheshadows.com. Beforetheshadows.com before the shadows.com own dedicated url yeah okay why is it why is it uh why is it vampires uh it's just some uh behind the scenes bts why is it vampire no sorry not before the shadow oh sorry okay why are though on that as well why on all of it? Why is it vampires? No one ever says why. No one ever says why. I've seen the entire show.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Scares the hell out of me. And I never heard anyone say here's why we're doing this. They don't say why. I don't think it needs an explanation. Okay well I am. It does. The actual audience. And I have seen every episode like i
Starting point is 00:29:48 just said and so i am sort of an authority on whether it is a question and it definitely is and i'm asking it out loud the entire time and as someone who's watched with hayes and and i have been over to his place to enjoy the show uh he's asking it really loud and it's constant and it is he is asking very quickly at a very high pitch and until it gets answered i don't think i'm going to be able to enjoy or understand the show at all so what did people say yeah go ahead so what did people say about like you do it just go ahead yeah do you want me to go you go ahead no sorry sorry no good on the before so what were you gonna ask case i was gonna say that i'll wait for harvey to go no let's have harvey answer and then tell him what you're gonna sorry you go that's fine well i just had one yeah
Starting point is 00:30:51 no i'll go no you go ahead yeah okay so i well i was my feeling okay i feel like i'm not gonna finish i had a pitch basically i can hear you yeah okay when Okay. When I ask, okay, like if I ask what you sipping on, the answer really should be blood. Okay. But I'm not a vampire in the show. But you, but you,
Starting point is 00:31:19 you do have powers. Okay. Right. Uh, if by powers, you mean I'm a natural born uh vampire killer because of my lineage then i guess so yeah yeah that's powers so why would i be drinking blood if i'm a vampire killer so you can know what it tastes like so you can if you approach a vampire and you don't know if he's a vampire or not and he's sipping something in a can that you can't you approach a vampire and you don't know if he's a vampire or not and he's sipping something in a can that you can't actually see the color of it and he says i'm not a vampire and you take a sip from the can and it tastes like blood and you say so you actually were a vampire
Starting point is 00:31:56 the whole time killing you if you're on the weed patrol and you kick down the door and it's just a bunch of guys smoking cigarettes because you didn't know what it smelled like you're gonna get your ass busted back down off the weed patrol yeah i didn't think about it like that i know and so this is why it's like it's questions it's like asking questions if we had asked at the beginning of this why is it vampires we probably would never have gotten into this at all you know what i mean yeah we would have like this pickle that we're in now where we're kind of trying to hopefully make it back into a movie if we're lucky and a very different movie at that it's in staten island it's in staten island yes the show takes place in Staten Island. Is the king there? What? Is the king present for any of it?
Starting point is 00:32:47 Are you his loyal subject? I see what you did there. He didn't do anything. No. He said something funny. He said something funny. Dracula, nice guy. Nice guy. Cool. Okay, now you're saying complete sentences to someone standing
Starting point is 00:33:10 oh i think i was just behind into the side of the so i don't know what's going on no you're also in la you're in the same place as i am we you are not supposed to have your team i know you're not talking to your team that's actually like in the room because you you are not supposed to have your team i know you're not talking to your team that's actually like in the room because you really are not supposed to be in that close proximity right now and i should have said even even when i go to watch the show at hayes's house we you know he has basically his house is divided in in the middle with like a big plexiglass uh um sort of wall and i'll sit on the other side of the couch because he's doing a lot of like as i said he's asking the question very loud asking a question so loud yeah and he's doing a lot of other stuff too yeah no i was just
Starting point is 00:34:00 checking i thought i heard something and i was looking over there. Maybe it was that fly again. No, I was just looking over there. It wasn't. It definitely wasn't the fly. You thought you heard something, but it definitely wasn't the fly. Okay. Yeah, well, there's a big space here, so I could easily be six feet apart from. Okay, my man's working with a big space over there.
Starting point is 00:34:20 How many square feet are we talking? It's just where we felt. It's fine um it's uh but i think that uh i thought i heard something what did it sound like we're really sean actually is really good at knowing what something is based on the sound so what it is what did it sound like hit me with the sound brother maybe uh it was harv lay the sound on me man okay it was... Harv, lay the sound on me, man. It was something like a... Okay. Jeez.
Starting point is 00:34:51 This is a tough one. I do have it. Hang on. Let me go back into the little library of sounds I have in my mind palace. It's a fly to me. At least not so different that I would know for sure that it was a fly,
Starting point is 00:35:05 especially when I had just seen one, supposedly. It's a fly, pal. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. I thought about it, and I have landed on it being a fly. I know. I think it is. I think you're right. I should probably go kill it.
Starting point is 00:35:23 You don't have to do anything. You don't have to go talk to it. Kill the fly. I should probably go make sure to see the... If you want to talk to it, that's fine. We could do that on the podcast. What do you want to say to the fly? That would be great. If you just have to go talk to it, that would be good content to do
Starting point is 00:35:38 right here. This is Harvey talking to the fly. Take one. I'm not going to um this is take two go ahead and keep it just keep rolling and we're gonna go straight into take two hey fly uh let's hit it with a take three because we kind of we we sort of stumbled right out of the gate there and this is take three this is harvey guillen He's talking to the fly. Hey, fly. When is this going to end?
Starting point is 00:36:07 What? The fly just like flying around? Yeah, just flying. He doesn't know. When is this going to end? Well, you know what the guy said when he discovered Staten Island? No. The guy, what he said? What did he say?
Starting point is 00:36:26 He said, is Statenen island he did say that admit it he did why this and he admitted it and we actually did say that before they said it on that other show yeah why staten island it's really but it's i'm just gonna run really quickly and smash it hold on one second i'm just gonna really just what i'm sorry just really quickly i'm just gonna okay what the fuck am i supposed to see the whole time he's really talking about the Pull the plug? I don't want to... What is this shit? Okay, literally, I'm... Just hurry up. I think... I think I got it. Why would... I mean, you did say you were going to talk to it,
Starting point is 00:37:17 but why would you say that the... Ask a fly to pull the plug. Pull the plug on what? I'm getting a phone call now from the hospital. Okay. I feel like I should take it. Okay. See, if we have to go, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:37:32 If it's an emergency. Hello? Hello? Hello, hospital. That doesn't sound good. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. I know that he's there.
Starting point is 00:37:46 They pulled the plug on him. He's dead? So, guys, that was the hospital. Uh-huh. So, basically, it's a little complicated, but I... uh it's a little complicated but i uh so i was involved in a drug cartel a long time ago and one of my great enemies um who was also sort of my boss uh and ultimately i took revenge on by poisoning him with an undetectable poison known as ricin. And it put him into a coma of sorts. And he was in the hospital and plugged in
Starting point is 00:38:32 and being kept alive with a series of machines. I, of course, was also at the same time changing and becoming my evil persona persona known as high bleeberg uh i i i wear a pork pie hat and and i have a a really long mustache and i am high bleeberg and so anyway i just told the hospital like hey if anything changes with this guy's condition, call me. And apparently someone just came in dressed as a candy striper and it was the Joker and they did pull the plug on him. And I cannot help but connect this, Harvey, to you saying that someone should pull the plug.
Starting point is 00:39:17 And I think it was you trying to get out of the podcast by killing my sort of enemy nemesis who i was keeping alive i just don't totally remember everything that happened but um you know uh is it emergency for me then we should if you have to go we should end this now well it doesn't matter now but we should probably end it just because it's an emergency and i hate what does he have to go do i mean yeah no i mean i say emergency like i think it's more emotional i think it sounds like an emotional thing maybe sean needs some time it is well and please call me hi bleeberg and uh and yeah it is emotional uh in some ways but in other ways it's like whatever harvey did was there any thought to like the staten island thing was there ever any thought to setting the show in like lena dunham's new york absolutely not you okay didn't even think about doing that it never even it never even came up this could have been like hmm I don't know just like
Starting point is 00:40:26 mmm yeah like it's or like Times Square even Times Square yeah iconic iconic places now that it's cleaned up somewhere that we recognize
Starting point is 00:40:41 or maybe instead of vampires the story could have been about drug dealers like me heibleyberg and all the like different like crazy stuff we do with each other keeping each other on machines and uh ringing a little bell on a chair and yeah um and like feel free to to pitch harvey i'll pitch that no that's i uh no i mean like feel free to pitch, Harvey. I'll pitch that. No, that's... No, I mean, feel free to contribute. We're talking about all this stuff. Feel free to... I think I'm just going to keep the ideas up here, and then...
Starting point is 00:41:11 You're just going to hang out? No, yeah. No, this is fun. But... I have a... Here's an idea. Viva La Vampires. You know this?
Starting point is 00:41:21 You know this guy? Mm-mm. He is skateboarding, yes, but also blowing up his parents in every episode he uh basically blows him up with a bomb dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude off of that off of that similar similar okay bad grandpires bad grandpires so viva the vampires and bad grandpires because then because now we've got now this is synergy right because we have two pretty impactful cultural uh phenomenons bad grandpa and viva labam and they are and they have a similar i think uh voice don't they
Starting point is 00:42:00 mm-hmm so harvey if bad grandampire is Viva La Bam's grandpa and he's able to blow him up... The advantage of this also, often in original Bam, the show, he is blowing up his parents mostly at night when they're asleep.
Starting point is 00:42:19 Have to do night vision cam. For Viva La Bampires, we will be blowing up his parents during the day because they are asleep during the day because they are asleep during the day we can use a normal camera mode and it's easier to shoot i'll i'll uh i'll bring that up night shoots huh lena dunham's new york has inspired me to have another idea campfires jennifer garner is camping camping camping pyres camp with a bunch of misfits
Starting point is 00:42:47 lena and jenny at the helm we get some of these other clowns out of here and we have camping pyres and we gather around the campire and uh anything can happen and we can keep if there's somebody you like working with there or if you think you should stay on the show we could keep some of you but we want to make room too for some of these other crazy characters Brett Gelman etc yeah
Starting point is 00:43:15 no that's that sounds like a good idea sky's the limit it does sound like a good idea that's just like a very obvious observation. Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't pitch a 13 going on vamp. Okay. Okay, Harvey.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Now we've got someone who is actually being a real guest and contributing. That's so cool. So how would that work? The idea is not perfect. No, but we can is not perfect no but we can get it there but we can get it there no we don't have to get anywhere so what if it's like 13 going on the 30 million years old vampires are getting very old living okay okay 13 going on 30 million years old vampire birthday cake wish i wish i was 30 million years old vampire boom now i am i'm a powerful ad executive i'm in sort of a loveless marriage
Starting point is 00:44:13 um i am a 30 million year old vampire uh i get in touch with one of my friends from when i was 13 we all do the thriller dance we all know the thriller dance somehow and do it at a in a big scene and normal party keep going harvey that could be really good thriller dance is like vampire stuff yeah keep this going like help feed sean okay somebody feed sean yeah then there's a character named sean and he's really hungry and he wants to drink all this blood right and yes sean wants to also be 300 million years old and then sean similar to the more blood idea yeah okay and yeah and then uh and everyone everyone just fucking dies. Wow. A little bit.
Starting point is 00:45:06 That's a little dark. Yeah. We are ultimately what we're doing with this show and with all our work, Hayes and I, is trying to sort of inspire some hope in a nation that could really use that. Just bring a little light into the world. What do people need today? We started the show. What do people need?
Starting point is 00:45:24 The fuck is that? Okay. Harvey. the world what do people need today we start the show what do people need you know okay harvey now that now that what that was very clearly you speaking to someone else in the room that was not directed at us who is there no no no harvey No. No. Harvey. Yeah. I am concerned. Maybe there's a connection thing. Maybe there's a glitch during the video. There's definitely a connection thing. I am, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:55 I came here to connect with a talented actor who I'm a fan of, who I planned a really good long intro for, and I was going to help save his show by turning it back into a movie casting myself in all of the roles and getting rid of some of this vampire stuff that's really bumming everybody out yeah hopefully making it about going camping with your friends in time square i think we got it i think uh I hear you, and I'm going to present those ideas. And I think... You fibbing.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Let's just, like, let's cut through the bullshit. I mean, like, we want to talk to... We don't have to talk about just all this, like, Hollywood stuff. Okay. I want to talk to Harvey, charlie hunnam guillen that is that is not your middle name no this wikipedia page is fucked up this i think somebody somebody's tricking us i think somebody it actually looks like it could have been a mistake yeah don't believe everything you read let's like get to the the absolute like the meat of this and
Starting point is 00:47:13 like who you are and your story what are you? Dinner. What do you have for dinner? What do I have for dinner? What do you have for dinner? What are you have for dinner now? What do you have for dinner? Harvey? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:37 No, I, uh, that's a good question. That's very, uh, that's really getting to the core of uh who i am let's deal and um what do you have for dinner pizza i don't want to answer for you pizza yeah um yeah no that's that's good i i'm i'm uh good no'm good. I just say it's such a great question. Such a great question that I can't think of the answer. It's too good a question.
Starting point is 00:48:12 It's so good. It's so good. It's so worth asking that question. Not enough people ask. No one else will ask. What are you actually let me say in dinner if you let him say it yeah yeah actually let him speak it's his good him who him me who
Starting point is 00:48:32 hey harvey my dad's meanest friend was named harvey you got anything to say for yourself why so i'm still i'm trying to answer that first question there sean about what you're having for fucking dinner okay you said you couldn't think of anything but yeah so i moved on because you were basically made it sound like you weren't going to answer it no no um yeah okay let's move on let's move on let's just okay let's just let's just uh really let's just let's just um i just want to just point out, if there were someone in the room who you were asking to unplug, to pull the plug and unplug the computer,
Starting point is 00:49:10 it wouldn't necessarily work. No, it wouldn't. You're right. It wouldn't. It would have worked by now. It would have fucking worked by now. Okay, so it sounds like you did... Maybe you did have someone in the room
Starting point is 00:49:22 unplug the computer. Obviously not. No, obviously no one's in the room that could do their job and actually pull a plug. Just in defense of that person a little bit. No, no one's in the room. Okay, but if that just like hypothetical and like the show, we are like play acting. We are able to use our imagination. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:43 The battery might just like take a really long time to like our imagination. The battery might just take a really long time to end. You know what I did realize, though, that I accidentally placed my computer underneath this stack of boxes. I've been doing, yes. At any moment now,
Starting point is 00:50:00 this table's really unsturdy. I should not be doing that. They're wobbling. The thing is, I really love the questions you guys have. I just want to say that up front. Not really up front. This is kind of like the end. Well, I think we're having an earthquake.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Kind of the beginning of the middle. I think we're having, do you guys feel that? The middle's starting. I think we're having an earthquake like kind of the the beginning of the middle i think we're having you guys feel that the middle starting i think we're having an earthquake oh my god okay well the the your screen is shaking but it's shaking in a very oh my god it's way it's an it's definitely an earthquake okay oh this is bad seems very localized you know oh my god and we lost we lost him so that looked like he must have been having like a pretty big earthquake just right under him and it was also i maybe he was bracing himself against the edges of the computer but what it looked like to me was that his arms were doing a lot of the moving you know in the exact same way that the screen was i was noticing so
Starting point is 00:51:12 he said he was like the table's very unsturdy and then he was shaking the table and then the screen was shaking a certain way and then that looked to me like it gave him an idea i don't know what it was but then the earthquake happened right after that. But I saw him make his idea face. Sucks because I love the show. I know. I love the... Yes, I love that stinky house.
Starting point is 00:51:34 And I was so excited to build a beautiful McMansion there. So, Kevin. Hey, guys. What do we do now? I'm bummed because I was going to pitch him value or sleeping parentheses during the day. Well, maybe it is better. This is good, then, how this worked out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Yeah. Oh, his PR people left, too. Yeah, and they just wouldn't stop talking. Oh, he's back. No, they just wouldn't stop. No, they wouldn't stop. How was I supposed to get out of it? I can't see it,
Starting point is 00:52:16 but it's just his sound. I can't see it, but it's just his sound. No, they just wouldn't stop talking. His camera's back. Harvey? Harvey, are you okay? Oh my god, you guys. Harvey, we thought you'd like quit that you'd like just pretend
Starting point is 00:52:28 to have an earthquake and quit the show. But you really had one? I did. I did. Do you feel sick? I feel sick to my stomach. I was informed that I didn't have an earthquake.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Someone told you you didn't have an earthquake you were so sick you thought that you were having a real earthquake yeah isn't that isn't that weird wow i stopped recording bye that was a hate gum podcast

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.