Hollywood Handbook - Heather Anne Campbell, Our Gamer Friend
Episode Date: February 25, 2019HEATHER ANNE CAMPBELL helps The Boys make a video game.This episode is sponsored by The Harold Ramis Film School ( www.ramisfilmschool.com  or call 312-883-1241), Away ( www.awaytravel.com/B...OYS20  code: BOYS20) and Indochino ( www.indochino.com  code: HANDBOOK).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast
uh god the boat is like going up and down and the surf is like splashing in my face
um and i like it was like an off day uh so this entire whale watch it's just me and uh wallace uh gromit's friend
and he's brought like cheese you know he is like he's like cheese addicted he's obsessed with cheese
uh and though and i it was kind of sad because like we get to the pod, like an actual like pod of whales.
Oh, wow.
And the guide is like, this is crazy.
Like we never see this much whales.
This is like really special and like get your cameras out and stuff.
And it seems like Wallace was kind of just there to eat cheese.
Right.
So it's like this beautiful surroundings, excuse surroundings this amazing natural uh event that
you're witnessing of the whales were they having sex or were they the whales were yes the whales
were having sex so you're seeing all these whales what were 20 25 it was it was like it was like so with how many with all the whales yeah it was like 25 whales wow
so okay so close to my guess so then it was like 25 and he you know you never get to see that and
he's just so focused on his cheese that he's missing and it's like a big block of this like very almost like stereotypical
cheese it's like a wedge uh uh that's like the size of a basketball basically you know what it
is though that's his phone screen i mean this is happening all over the country at all times
we're all missing out on life that's you know what that's true and i and i found myself that's
so interesting i didn't think about that
because i'm like he's addicted to this cheese and he's just using like a social event it's like oh
great i could like a reason to like go out and like have fun with people but really just like
eat cheese but meanwhile me i'm watching these whales just through my phone screen you know what
i mean instead of like taking in the actual thing I'm watching a video of some
different whales on my phone right wow there's real whales right there and that is something
and we've all fallen into that trap because you're double checking you think these are
whales hang on let me freaking google search whales right and I'm in the same way as the cheese. I'm eating like these big pieces of my phone.
It's exactly the same.
So, hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook.
It's an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker
hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
And Hayes, do you want to say what up, what up today?
I would like to say to all the fans and to everyone who has supported us all this
time and to everyone at earwolf that has been so like nice to us and who we have become friends
with and to engineer devon and to chef kevin and to our guests who we'll get to in a second
and to all the fans i want to wish a very happy what up, what up. That was so nice.
So speaking of our guest, who we'll get to in a second, our guest, let's get to her now.
It's Heather Ann Campbell is here.
Hi, everybody.
Hi, guys.
Hi, what up, what up, Heather.
How do you say that?
Like, how does your name work to you? Heather Ann Campbell? Yeah. Well, do you say that? Like, how does your name, like, work to you?
Heather Ann Campbell?
Yeah.
Well, do you know why?
Okay, so that's how you say it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I go by my middle name for a reason.
You want to know why?
Yeah.
Because...
Your middle name is Heather Ann Campbell.
So I'm Heather Ann Campbell.
Yes.
Wow.
The truth is there is a Heather Campbell who is an actress who looks very similar to me.
Oh, okay.
And she used to do more risque material.
So if you Google Heather Campbell nude, you can see a woman who looks similar to me in very little clothing.
And it's enough like me.
I mean, so that's why I'm all three names.
That's good to differentiate a bit.
Right.
And so if you ever decided to do Risque Matero, you wouldn't have the same name as someone
in the same field.
You want them to find your nudes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I've been in this same spot.
You want them to find your nudes.
Exactly.
Yeah. Exactly.
I've been in this same spot.
So there's a movie called like Beach Party Bikini Masker or something like that.
Uh-huh.
That stars a man.
Kind of looks like Chris Evans.
I'm not going to say he looks like me.
His name is Sean Clement with no S on the end.
Okay.
And he is miscredited in the film as Sean Clements.
It made it all the way to the credits
that he's listed as Sean Clements.
And so,
if you Google, like,
Sean Clements actor,
that's who you find.
Oh.
I don't know if he's nude in it.
I have not Googled my name
in the word nude.
You should.
I think I'm going to start today.
Like, somebody pointed it out to me on Twitter.
They were like, is this you?
And I'm like, no, that is not me.
Somebody has been Googling that for you because it's auto-complete.
The first one.
Is nude?
Is Shawn Clements nude.
But I think they're trying to see that Beach Party bikini massacre fella.
Are they massacring bikinis in it?
He's got a pair of scissors and he's cutting
the bikini string.
He's saying, hey, one piece is only.
He has a
one piece shop. He's
massacring the bikinis
in order to boost sales.
Is my understanding of the
plot of the film.
What were you going to say? You can't what?
I was going to say you can't make a one piece out of a bikini, but I realized that that's not what you were saying.
No, he's saying, hey, no bikinis allowed on this beach.
I'll massacre those.
He's tried.
He's tried to make the one piece out of the bikini.
It takes a third piece to connect them.
You're speaking about this movie with the authority of people who've seen it.
Yet you've both admitted that you have not seen it.
It's all in the name. It's all in the name.
It's all in the name.
Yeah.
When you've been in this business as long as I have, you hear a movie name, you could
just about put it together.
Uh-huh.
Name a given example.
Any movie.
Name a movie?
Name a movie.
Go ahead.
I name a movie and you tell me.
Name a movie.
Yes.
Batteries not included.
Okay.
So, easy one.
So, the guy who has a one-piece bathing suit shop.
And of course, obviously,
something like that, a bathing suit does not
need any batteries, so why would they need
to put batteries included
in the one-piece
bikini? Honestly, to me, it's
not even worth mentioning. No.
It is an odd title, and it's maybe
why that film didn't do so great great and we haven't heard of it.
That was a Spielberg film.
Wow.
That's produced by Steven Spielberg.
He's a big shot.
Wow.
Okay.
And so I guess we're living in friggin' 1985 if we're Heather and Campbell, because that's the last time I ever even heard of that guy. I literally don't think he's done anything
since 1985 except
War Horse, which I was crying.
Yes.
War Horse.
Yes.
That was my childhood on screen.
The War Horse.
And that wasn't even him. That was
mostly the wrangler.
It was.
You think he's the guy who's like wrangling the horse?
That's the real director.
He's not touching the horse.
He's going to point the camera and shoot.
Okay, let's imagine War Horse without the horse wrangler.
The horse is not even going to be on screen.
Yeah.
He's going to be running away.
I'll tell you what that movie would be.
Bikini Beach Party by Asa Karr.
Basically. What did you think about War Horse? I'll tell you what that movie would be. Bikini Beach Party by Asa Karr. I mean, basically.
What did you think about War Horse?
I love animals in movies because they're not acting.
They just are.
They don't know they're in a movie.
You're watching a movie with everyone acting
and then a documentary about a horse is taking place simultaneously.
I love that.
I love watching a dog who walks through a screen
and you're like, that dog is just in the living room.
Has no idea.
No idea.
It's great.
I love movie animals.
Unless it's like Milo and Otis.
You could just watch a documentary about animals.
You don't have to watch.
You could watch a dogumentary.
Remember?
I'm sorry.
What am I supposed to remember there? A dogumentary? Remember? I'm sorry. What am I supposed to remember there?
A dogumentary?
No, I know.
I heard the word you said, but you said remember like.
Remember when Netflix did that?
Oh, is that a thing Netflix did?
No, they coined the term, friend.
Dogumentary.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I don't remember that.
You can watch Keddie.
Keddie?
Mm-hmm.
Is that the movie about a dog?
Street Cats of Istanbul.
Oh, okay, great.
That's a dog catmentary.
That's a catumentary.
Yeah, I'm going with that.
Let me check in with myself.
Catumentary.
Yeah, I'm sticking with it.
Can you help us do a video game?
Excuse me?
You're a video game expert.
We're looking to make big bucks.
I hear you don't have to pay the actors
when you do a video game.
That is, I mean,
that's mildly true, sort of.
But I mean,
only because they're working on unionizing.
It's been hard for video game voice acting
to take the same... So we can get in
right before we work fast.
If we do a video game right now,
we can effectively rip off
a lot of artists. Yeah.
Yeah, you could. And same with
the developers. They work those
guys to the bone. Are you kidding me?
This sounds like a fucking cash cow.
Yeah. And we already have the mics
and a computer. Yeah. It takes already have the mics and a computer.
Yeah.
Well, it takes, okay.
I mean, yeah, you could make a video game with just that, which is kind of incredible.
Yeah, you were about to say it takes more than that.
Yeah, but then I thought about it. That was wrong, right?
It's going to be a small scale game, but you could do it.
Yeah, and that's what we plan to do.
I like that you led with mics.
So your game is a lot of voice acting?
We have more mics than we... Yes.
It is mostly voice acting. The game is...
Yeah. What is it?
Well, we were hoping for a little
bit of help. Okay. So we did
a famous game a few years ago.
You did? Yes. Yes. Called
Fight Haver. Fight Haver.
Yes. Fight Haver. Of course you remember Fight Haver.
Fast Drive. Fast Drive.
I'm sorry. What? Can you both say the title at the same time, please?
Because I...
Three, two...
I'll count you down, ready?
That would be so helpful.
You should both know the name of your game.
Oh, and we will.
One, two, three.
Fight, Have, or Drive Fast.
Fight, Have, or Fast Driver.
Yes.
Okay.
What was the platform that was released on?
Kumail helped us with it.
He did the voices.
It was on a table.
It was basically this table. It was basically this table.
Like the Microsoft Surface table?
More signatures.
Yeah.
A couple more PFPs.
It was very similar to this platform.
You released a video game on a table.
Like you put it on the table?
That's where it has to kind of sit.
It has its own device. Oh plays on, which is pretty smart.
A lot of these other games, you don't even have to buy a separate machine to use.
Yeah, you're making it for somebody else's machine.
So it's like if I'm a famous chef and I'm making food for that guy's restaurant,
it's like, why don't I make you come to my restaurant?
It's as if, yeah, it's as if you made food and also invented plates.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And no one else could use the plate, right?
So all the food is-
Special shape plate for your food.
Is falling on the floor.
That's great.
It's the only plate, only shape that the food works on.
I won't lie.
That is a philosophy of game design that has worked in the past.
I feel like companies are moving away from that though now.
Okay.
Nintendo has started releasing games for phones.
You can play Nintendo games on your phone.
Okay, so my phone is a Nintendo.
Yeah.
I mean, essentially, yeah.
Nintendo phone.
What is a Nintendo?
So what you're saying is that right at the moment that the entire industry has decided to zig, we're zagging.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for the compliment.
No worries.
So we have to do another game, though, because it's been a couple years,
and we do just sort of have to rotate.
Anything we have done, we have to do it again yeah uh until uh especially
when someone so directly aligns with our interest uh-huh gaming yes so what kind of games right now
is what's huge what uh okay well there's um fortnight, I guess, the largest game right now.
Two weeks.
Two weeks notice.
A game based on the movie Two Weeks Notice.
Two Weeks Notice.
I'm sorry.
We could go off the proposal because I had those sort of, those are connected in my head a little bit.
And I can say Andrew Bullock was in both of them, but I don't think they came out very close together.
Wait, you're doing a game?
Really?
Maybe I'm wrong.
You're doing a game based on...
When did Two Weeks Know It come out, Devin?
I don't even know what that movie is about.
Engineer Devin,
activate Sandra Bullock filmography.
2002.
Okay, and I think the proposal was 2009.
When was the proposal?
I'm going to say 2009. Possibly even 10. You guys are doing? I'm going to say 2009. Possibly even 10.
You guys are doing...
I'm going to say 8.
What are you going to say?
You have to say
when you think
the proposal came out.
2007.
I don't know.
No way.
Why would you...
First off,
do you own that IP?
Do you own the rights
to that movie?
Well, we just changed the name.
Two Weeks Notice,
they changed it to Fortnite.
It's clearly inspired
by Two Weeks Notice,
but they've just gotten
a way to...
So instead of the proposal,
we would say like the engagement
or the bridesmaids.
Those two things,
you need the IP for those.
You need the rights.
For both of those?
Yeah, those are both movies.
You can...
What is...
All right.
Let's say that you are basing a movie
around the proposal as a concept.
What do you see the
interactivity features of this game?
Like, is it a... Well, Ryan Reynolds.
I mean, if anyone's innovating in the
world of interactivity, it's gotta be Ryan Reynolds.
Deadpool talks directly to me. He's freaking coming out
of the screen and I am
being his friend
in the audience.
He's actually talking to me.
Keep the information
to yourself.
2009.
Ha!
A couple years later.
Ha ha.
2009.
His proposal.
Wow.
Yeah.
Jeez.
So you're going to do a game
where the characters
talk to the player?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Yep.
Okay.
Do you have
any
do you have any other that's's your, your core concept?
Well, we also know.
It would be more help if some of these, if some of these guys in the other games were
helping me and saying like, make me punch, you know, that would, yeah, that would be
around.
Cause I'm noticing, I don't really know much about games, but when I'm doing them, I'm getting shot to pieces.
Yeah.
If my guy would say, hey, I don't want to get shot.
Yeah.
Help me out here, pal.
Help me find the golden beans.
So this is a tutorial heavy game based on the proposal.
Yes.
It's all training mode.
Where the character speaks to
it's all training mode.
What are you training for?
Give me an example
of a thing that
Ryan Reynolds would say
even though he's not in the proposal.
He is in the
proposal, actually.
Oh, in a big way.
I'm so sick of my hard-ass boss.
He's in it, on it, around it, is all over it.
If I'm not mistaken, his boss is a real hard-ass in that.
I have not seen this.
I have not seen this movie.
He has to get married.
He has to get married?
Yes.
That's the...
He has two weeks to get married.
Yeah.
He has one fortnight to get married.
Why?
Deportment.
He's going to get... He's Canadian. He's going to get deported if he doesn't get married, so? Deportment. He's Canadian.
He's going to get deported if he doesn't get married
so he has to marry Sandra Bullock. He has to marry his boss.
Why are Canadians so funny?
He has to marry his boss?
That's the immigration law.
Look, this is the time we live in.
You have to marry your boss.
Honestly, I'm shocked
that this is a movie that exists.
That's basically the movie.
You know how Cardi B calls herself, like, a boss bitch?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
That's kind of based on the proposal.
I didn't know that.
Devin, say the summary of the movie.
Let's see here.
Unbelievable.
Cut that gross noise out.
You're pretty close, except that actually she's the Canadian executive who's going to be deported. Cut that gross noise out. You're pretty close,
except that actually she's the Canadian executive
who's going to be deported.
That's what he said.
Yeah, but I said Ryan Reynolds is Canadian.
That's why he took the project.
Oh, is that right?
He connected the material.
Ryan Reynolds is Canadian.
Why are Canadians so goddamn funny?
Why?
Is it something in the water up there?
They're so goddamn funny.
I mean...
Where are you from?
Me, personally? Chicago.
Okay. Close, though.
It's in the zone.
It is. It's a cold weather town.
And then a very hot weather town.
Ah, yes. Chicago. The cold weather town city.
I really want to know the plot of this movie.
Hit me.
Ryan Reynolds is from America.
His family are from Alaska.
She's Canadian, and she forces him to marry her.
Well, forces.
She would like him to marry her in order to keep her visa situation intact.
The summary says she forces him to marry her.
Well, forces.
She would like him to marry her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, why don't you, instead of summarizing the summary, why don't you read me the summary?
The plot centers on a Canadian executive who learns that she may face deportation from the U.S. because of her expired visa.
Determined to retain her position as editor-in-chief of a publishing house, she convinces her assistant to temporarily act as her fiancé.
Mm-hmm.
Aha.
So this is like a real pre-Me Too film.
Like, I mean.
Well, it's in.
Pre-Too.
Yeah.
And the women are doing it for themselves in this one.
I mean, yeah, but the theory still applies.
Like that power dynamic.
That she leverages the fact that she's his employer to force him into a pseudo-romantic situation that ultimately does become a real romantic situation.
Yeah, that's situation. But I personally
think that movies can be
controversial and movies can show
the world as it really is.
Which is, we have this
new immigration policy now where
billionaires are running the country and making
people marry them.
They would
never make the proposal
now. But I think they should do a Ghostbusters-style reboot of the proposal
where we flip the genders.
So just indecent proposal.
Okay.
And this is a movie about a swimsuit salesperson.
I remember this.
Woody Harrelson owns a one-piece shop.
He and his wife, Demi Moore, are approached by Robert Redford at a casino.
Robert Redford wants to see her wearing a two-piece.
Is it Robert Redford?
It is Robert Redford.
Oh, God.
What year did that one come out?
90 what?
Four?
I'm going to say two.
Yeah.
93.
Hey.
What a team.
Just kidding.
You're not on a team with me.
Fair.
The game.
Let's get to the game.
Open on an office.
Okay.
With Ryan Reynolds. It has to get out of the door, but there is a box on an office. Okay. With Ryan Reynolds.
It has to get out of the door, but there is a box in his way.
Okay, great.
And he says, hey, buddy, help me jump.
Okay.
And that's to me.
I hit the jump button.
There was a jump button on our machine.
Instead of all this stupid shapes, why would I hit a square to jump well if you're jumping over a box
but what if i but i mean there's you're only jumping over a box let's hear me up
then push the box but that implies that and the other one i'm jumping over a pyramid
can i ask a question that i you seem to be hinting at here, but I want to clarify.
Is the game
that Ryan Reynolds is
in an office and that you also
are in the game and he
is asking you to
help him jump, or is this a
game made exclusively for you?
Ryan Reynolds is Deadpool. Yeah, I know
who, I do know, but
what I'm asking is the player's experience of the game,
is it that I'm controlling you controlling Ryan Reynolds, or is this a one-person, one-copy released game?
There's, well, there's only one machine.
Okay.
These things are honestly, it's, this shit is so stupid
these things take forever to make
how are you making money off of this concept
in the game
there's coins everywhere
you as a human
your investment
how are you getting a return on this investment
you can trade the coins
that's not what I'm asking.
For new hats.
Okay.
Sandra Bullock is a high-powered executive, so we know she's got a big salary.
I feel like you guys are mixing a couple of things here.
Okay.
Which is, all right, if I make a video game about making money, it's called like Stockbroker.
Stockbroker 5000, right?
Okay.
Then I sell it.
Can we get the number a little higher even? Stockbroker 10 million,ker 5000, right? Okay. Then I sell it. Can we get the number a little higher?
Stockbroker 10 million.
Sure. A billion. Okay, a billion.
Stockbroker a billion.
So I make that game and then I
sell it to consumers.
Like regular people.
How much? How much am I
selling the game for? How much? I don't know, like
$29.99. Okay, I'll buy it. Great.
Why is a stockbroker
making video games and selling them
to consumers? No, no, no. He's not...
Again, this is a...
Okay.
Like, when Mario
games are made, they're not sold
to Mario and they're not made by
Mario. They are
Mario games. This is a stockbroker game.
Can you use a reference I know?
Sonic?
Sonic is a movie.
You're saying that we have to have
all the rights to these movies
and these characters and stuff and yet
people can just make Mario's game
without him
as you say, even being involved?
That is not...
Alright. Name a game that you know. That is not. All right.
Name a game that you know.
Name any game that you know.
Okay, Fight Haver, Drive Fast Edition.
Did you make that game for a Fight Haver?
Or was that for people to play?
We didn't finish it.
Okay.
Was the plan... I hate to keep backtracking here,
but I'm just trying to create a foundation
that we all share.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So who was that game made for?
Not what,
because I could see you starting to say that platform,
but I want who.
Who?
Who was that game made for?
Well, it wasn't for kids, that's for sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
A lot of showering in it.
A lot of...
The characters all took showers.
In Fight Havert?
Yeah.
After a big fight, yeah.
Nothing feels better than just
rinsing off.
I feel like maybe the first step
for you guys as
designers, the first step, even though
you've already made part of a game.
And the machine's finished.
The single machine
is maybe playing a video game.
Like any game, really, just playing one.
Okay.
Okay?
All right.
And then seeing what works about that.
Okay.
Okay?
You're both looking at me like, this is reminding me.
This is like the zigging and zagging.
Everyone else is playing these video games first.
They're basing their games
off of these other games.
But to truly innovate,
I think what you have to do is
ignore the game completely.
Okay.
Then your game, right,
is almost like
really good.
I just want to say,
and where we are in the game now,
Ryan Reynolds is stuck in his office.
There's a little bit of urgency to this.
He is hungry.
We don't exactly want to pick apart
all the logic of it
when he hasn't even gotten past the box.
Okay, let's say he asks you to jump
and I'm still not clear if you are in the game
and I'm looking at you playing.
You are looking at him playing because ideally
you are part of a
very long line of people waiting to
play the game.
You got the one
device. The one copy of the
game, one device, you're
playing the game, there's a line behind you
of other people. We're hoping it's big.
Ryan Reynolds is asking you
Hazeman, help me jump. Right. of other people. And we're hoping it's big. Ryan Reynolds is asking you.
Hazeman, help me jump.
Right.
So what do you do?
Hit the jump button.
You hit the jump button.
Great.
And then he jumps over the box to escape his office? Then he's jumping.
If you just hit the jump button, he's jumping straight up.
So he's helping you and he's saying,
Hazeman, hit the jump button and the go forward button.
Okay.
And so if you hit them at the
same time, then he
goes forward and now he's on top
of the box. Smash it.
Get a coin.
Okay, great. And then
he leaves the office?
No, he didn't leave the entire office.
He's at work.
Okay, so he gets fired at the
first thing that happens in the game
Okay no
Because then how's his boss
Going to force him to marry her
So that is
And I know you've got
A little more game experience
Yes
But just in terms of storytelling
That's nonsense
Yeah it doesn't
That doesn't track
You're right
Devin
Who else is in the proposal?
Betty White
Okay Is that true? Yes Wow And who else is in the proposal? Betty White Is that true?
Yes
And who else?
Mary Steenburgen
Asif Manvi
That could be huge for us
He was on our 100th episode
He was on our show before
You like The Brink?
The movie?
I don't know The Brink The Brink is a TV show Oh, movie no I don't know the brink
the brink
the brink is
it is a TV show
oh okay
I don't know it
no I don't know it
I know a lot of
video game stuff
that's why you guys
had me here
I know video game things
but not
TV or film things
you keep
had I known
that this
I would have watched
the proposal
had I known
but the email
you sent me
was blank.
Thank you for just like figuring it out.
Yeah.
Well, we don't like to be bullies.
We're very anti-bully.
And I feel like a lot of the emails these days are,
Hey, go here this time.
Yeah, no, that wasn't.
We go, hey, let, go here, this time. Yeah, no, that wasn't. All right, we go.
Hey, let your imagination fill it in.
There was, yeah, there was an automated signature
at the end of a blank email,
and I had to contact my people to find out what it was.
Yeah, the automated signature, yeah.
Yeah.
Yesterday's history, tomorrow's mystery, today's gift.
That's why they call it President Dave Matthews.
That's our email signature.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Do you know what they
mean by that?
What?
Who is they?
Who's they?
You guys?
No.
I mean I don't know
what.
All the different
Dave.
There's one Dave.
A singular Dave
Matthew.
Mm hmm.
But all the Dave
Matthews have sort of joined together to deliver this message to us, which is yesterday's history.
Tomorrow's a mystery.
But today is a gift.
That's why they call it the present Dave Matthews.
You ever heard the space between?
Yeah, I do.
I do.
I've heard that song, but I haven't heard it.
Can we get that in the game?
Probably, to be honest.
But I don't know.
Is that in the movie?
Why would you include that song if it's not in the film?
Devin, is The Space Between in the movie The Proposal?
The Space Between?
You startled me.
I have to look up the soundtrack.
You want me to look up the soundtrack album?
Please do.
No, by all means, finish what you were doing on your phone.
No, it's like a contractual thing where he gets to look up one thing and then any additional
thing is out of our pocket.
I think it was part of the contract this year.
I don't think they have songs in the proposal.
No songs.
No songs.
Okay.
Let's just score.
That's a blank canvas for us.
Yeah.
So space between.
Sort of a blank email.
Every detail I find out about this movie makes it seem less and less like it was actually
a film that was released.
It made $317 million.
Oh my God.
Yeah, so that's how I felt. Is the poster like the two of them leaning on each other? Absolutely. Really? It was actually a film that was released. It made $317 million. Oh my God.
That's how I like a film.
Is the poster like the two of them leaning on each other?
Absolutely.
Really?
Yes, 100%. Do you want to see the poster?
I do.
Hang on.
I'll go back there.
She's holding a ring box, right?
What?
She's got a ring box.
She's standing up.
They're going to get engaged.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's an extremely 2009 romantic comedy poster.
Yeah.
I'm surprised Matthew McConaughey's not around this year.
They're not necessarily leaning.
I mean, this is, again, it's hashtag pre-two.
She's almost choking him.
Yeah, that, yes.
He does look like he's trying to back away.
And she's kind of got him pinned up.
There's no implied consent in that poster at all.
None whatsoever, no.
Yeah.
And so, we've got the coin.
Okay.
And so, now, we're walking around the office and Asif Mandi is there and he has, he's holding
coffee powers.
Coffee powers?
It's like a special orb that you get and it allows you to drink coffee.
It's like a power.
Okay.
And so you hit the talk to
Asif button.
So does Ryan say, press the
talk to Asif button?
Hayes man! Press the talk to Asif
button.
Do you put in your own name before the game
starts or is he always
Well this is a fight we've had. I'm actually
glad you're bringing this up because I don't necessarily
want to have to be Hazeman
when I play the game.
And I haven't been able to undo that program.
And it lets you put in your own name,
but then all that happens is on the screen,
the letters like swirl and then warp
to become Hazeman again.
And you've already recorded this dialogue
with Ryan Reynolds?
Yes, that is what we're kind of going.
We're building the game around this batch of this MP3 file that we have.
One file?
Yes, it's a voice memo.
Oh, okay.
So Ryan Reynolds tells me this.
And so the talk, by the way, the way it works on the controller, which is attached to the machine.
Yes.
So you're basically kind of typing on the console itself.
You type?
It's sort of like typing.
But there's a talk button.
And then under the talk button, a bunch of other buttons with different names on them.
You cannot quit me so
quickly. And that's just playing
in the background.
And so
So you have to sit right
basically on top of your
like right up against it to play this game.
Yes. And you have to do you know
like get in kind of get on the home
keys and then you'll
extend I guess it would be your ring finger
to the right ring finger
to the talk key
and then your thumb is on the awesome key
which is as big as the space bar.
Is the laughter keeps us
coming back for more.
The space bar between.
Is that something?
The awesome key
is too big.
I gotta be honest guys i yeah i think that hit me brutal honesty that's honestly why we what works about it and what needs a slight tweak uh there so what works about it is that you've
locked in major talent huge into a single audio file that's that is huge yeah what doesn't work is that you only
have one audio file you need to at least split that up in a separate tracks because otherwise
the player has to play it at exactly the same speed as the audio file or what's happening on
screen won't synchronize to the action then also record separate tracks so it sounds like you are
angling to be awesome and that is great because that is exactly what
we want. We do want a
secondary Asif, ideally.
The way it works right
now is you fire up the game.
First of all, you put in a video cassette to play
alongside the game and it's the Wizard
of Oz. The third time the lion
roars, you hit play on both
the game and the audio track.
And they
should sync up pretty close.
But we're finding
that if people don't necessarily
follow the rules as quickly
that sometimes Asif gets pretty
far ahead of you.
I feel like
you should strip this down to its
bare essentials, which is an
office game where you have goals and Ryan Reynolds provides the voice acting.
Chef Kevin, our producer, is working on the office game.
Chef Kevin, we would love to have him actually get involved.
Unfortunately, you said strip this down to our bare essentials and he is now Googling himself nude.
Sarah Sedgells, and he is now Googling himself nude.
So what's his name in the movie?
Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds is Andrew Paxton.
Ah.
Ah, Pax.
And so Osif would be saying, Andrew Paxton, the Pax man, running from the ghosts Inky, Winky, Blinky, and Nod.
Is that their names in Paxman?
Yeah.
And isn't it amazing that his name is another famous game, Paxman?
That's not...
His Pac-Man.
Pac-Man.
What's the ghost name?
Inky.
Pinky.
Okay.
Clyde.
Sue.
Is that right? I don't... I think so.ky. Pinky. Okay. Clyde. Sue. Is that right?
I don't, I think so.
I'm not sure.
Okay, well, I'm going to have to pony up for another Devin search.
Now, you said Blinky, but am I only thinking about Blinky?
Yeah, see, I know video game stuff.
I don't know movie stuff, but you can't use...
You can't use Paxman.
Can't use Paxman?
You can't use... You can't use Paxman.
You can use Paxman
because it's parody, but you can't
use the ghost from...
Why are the ghosts in
your office game?
He is making a joke.
He is...
Asif went off script a little bit.
Which we didn't have a ton
of control over.
Some of the shit's pretty funny,
but it does take the game off track.
Are you using the audio from your podcast for this?
Yes.
Is that what you're...
Yes.
That's kind of what we have.
Okay.
Period.
Yes.
And also Scott...
Do you know Scott Anchorman?
I mean, Anchorman?
Yeah. Is that what you called him? I mean, Anchorman? Yeah.
Is that what you called him?
Yeah.
Scott Anchorman.
Yeah.
He's funny.
Revolutionized comedy.
Yeah.
I mean, that's not his name, but I do know who he is.
He showed up to our 100th episode and was pretty jealous that we had Asif be a big guest.
So we have to cut around a lot of his stuff.
Whose?
Asif or?
Scott.
Okay.
Because we can't afford to have him in the game either.
He's like super litigious.
Like we actually,
I'm hesitant to even bring him up on the show
because he sued us over a pro version
where we used a recording of him.
Fucked up, right?
Yeah.
I mean,
that you used an authorized recording
is fucked up, yes.
In the state of California.
I want to be really clear here.
In nothing you have described
in any of these anecdotes
are you the victim?
None of them.
In all of these anecdotes
you have done something wrong
and are being punished accordingly.
Right. Yeah.
Even the way they spelled the guy's name wrong
in the credits of the movie.
And now I'm number two on IMDb.
Now that's his fault? Come on.
He did that? But you can change that.
You can. No, I've tried.
I emailed IMDb. They said I have
to be number two even though there's not
actually a guy with the same name.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
In that story, you are the victim.
Thank you.
Though I somehow feel like you're-
So then that kind of explains a lot of the other actions I've taken where I'm lashing out over that.
You guys have a dog in the studio who just gave up from this story.
The dog laid down he
knows what time it is what time we do we have to wrap up the game soon because you have to wrap up
the game well because um like when the cowardly when the lion roars three times that's pretty
close to the end of the movie mostly he's not roaring until the end. And so we only have a little running room in the Wizard of Oz to have an entire game in.
So we already have Ryan Reynolds jump, get the smash box, get the coin.
He talks to Asif, gets the coffee power up.
Enter Angry Birds.
Yes. Asif says.
We go, we don't have the Angry Birds, Asif.
We couldn't cut that out because there's
overlapping tracks.
He gets the coffee power up.
Sandra Bullock comes in.
And so now, this is where
we need you for.
This is it.
How to
have this be like the final boss
battle, basically,
where he is sort of battling his boss in like a sort of flirtatious bantery way.
It's almost like a roast battle.
You need dialogue trees is what you're saying.
You need dialogue trees.
So what that means, first off, I'd like to clarify your game is jump over a box,
crush the box, get a coin, walk to somebody, get coffee, and then you're the final boss battle?
I have a joke.
If you want to have dialogue about trees, maybe talk to Gabrus and Matt Besser.
They're smoking trees.
Smoke trees every day.
A dialogue tree is when you...
Who do you think taught you to smoke trees?
Who what?
Who do you think taught you to smoke trees?
Is that a reference?
Mm-hmm.
See, she knows game stuff.
Doesn't know who you think taught you to smoke trees?
I mean, I know what that means.
So, okay, you know Dr. Mario?
Yes.
This is another kind of doctor
who I believe was in a fighting game.
There was like a Def Jam Vendetta fighting game.
Yeah, there was.
But I think this guy.
Unbelievable that you know that reference.
Well, I mean, this is how I learned to smoke trees.
Okay.
Yeah, Dr. Dre taught you.
Okay, I know.
Okay, Dr. Dre taught you. Okay, I know. Okay, great. So we just need to figure out how to program final boss battle where Ryan Reynolds and the boss are fighting, but also getting married and falling in love.
They are not in love at the beginning of this battle, but they need to be in love by the end for real here's what i would
recommend is single button quick time events where you just have what you described play out and if
you don't press time events yeah that's where you like just a mov file and then we don't have to
worry about exactly like you just keep pressing a or go or whatever you want it to be and that
sequence will
play out where they're fighting, they're flirting.
Wait a second.
And then it's over.
Can you help me with this?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm loving this idea.
Okay, great, great.
Just have the entire movie, The Proposal, in a QuickTime file, and then give people
a controller, and they will think they're making him do it.
They're controlling the game.
Okay, I know what I meant by quick time.
We actually then have made several games.
Yeah.
In that case, we have an enormous library of games that are completed.
Effectively, I'm just handing you a controller and putting on literally any movie.
Yeah.
I mean, if, yes. I feel like that would actually,
if you can get the rights to those movies,
then that would help you make money.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not going to tell anybody.
No, but again,
you're setting yourself up
to be legally chastised.
Well, as you just heard,
Scott Ackerman already sued us
and you can only be sued one time in a year.
One lawsuit per year.
First off, you do know his name, but didn't correct him when he said...
We have to call him Scott Ackerman now because Anchorman is doing a podcast.
Unfortunately, yes.
That was our 2017 lawsuit.
Yes.
You guys get sued once a year?
Yes.
We max out.
Yeah, maximum.
Maximum.
We got to use it.
If you don't use it in that year...
It carries over.
Yeah.
So then the next year you can get sued twice.
So we do try to get sued every year.
In the state of California,
they have what's called rollover minutes for your lawsuits.
And so if you don't use your law, like if you've never been sued, then you're looking at literally.
Hundreds.
Bunches.
Yeah, bunches.
Bunches of suits that can come up.
Yeah.
So we just need one piece of dialogue from you for Asif.
From me.
Tossing Ryan Reynolds a weapon in this boss battle. You need me to record that right now.
Yes. Here, take this.
Okay, that's good, but can you also
say something more
specific? After like, after
he says Hayes man,
well, after he says Hayes man, could you say
and his buddy?
So like when Asif is saying
Hayes man, or when Ryan Reynolds is saying Hayes man
I would love it
if he could go
and his buddy
but
well she's recording
Asif's style
you want me to
that's
you have to take that up
with Ryan
Engineer Ryan
yeah
alright so
to have it programmed
okay so first
pick out a weapon
but then
if you could just even just generally
as the voice of God
say, like, it's okay for Hayes' buddy to play
this game.
Could make me feel a little more
comfortable. So you're saying that you want...
Let's say you've
played this game for all five minutes
of its total playtime
and you're at the final boss battle.
You want to be reassured that you're allowed to do what you're doing?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
I can.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's okay.
Hey,
Hayes man and your buddy.
It's okay that you're playing this game.
Well,
okay.
Is that what you want?
God sounds a lot like you.
Interesting.
Oh boy.
Wow.
Wow.
Somebody's got a high opinion of themselves.
That is not.
Okay.
We are having Asif say, so do the here, take this again.
And it's like an intense boss battle.
So he sounded pretty bored.
Okay.
His best friend and his boss are fighting and getting married and falling in love.
Thank you for the note.
And maybe say what he's
giving him.
Or we can get a bunch of loose, so do the
here, take this, and then a bunch of
loose weapons. Does that work, Devin?
Are you sure that you want
me, because you're going to be locked into whatever
this is. You don't want to have a concept.
This is Asif asking Ryan Reynolds if he's sure he wants a weapon.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So just here, take this.
Or here, take this pen.
Or here, take this knife.
He has a knife at the office?
Yeah, Jesus.
That makes sense.
Pen works.
Great, so you've got it.
Stapler.
Maybe he goes on a run about his swing line stapler.
You know, I've done a video game voiceover before, and they give you a script.
Whoa.
What's a line that you did for it?
Yeah.
I honestly don't remember.
It was years ago.
So it's for the memento guy?
Yeah.
Bye.
That felt like being in a car crash.
Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Hamburg.