Hollywood Handbook - Jake Johnson, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: October 7, 2013

Sean and Hayes take us through their respective journeys and share how they became two A-List it boys. They do a quick recap of the Emmys by discussing Steve Levitan's message during his acceptance speech and open up the "Teaser Freezer" as they analyze the teaser for Regular Joe's "Don Jon." Then, the boys welcome JAKE JOHNSON of the News Girl who tells us how he gets into the "funny zone" by reaching into the "Popcorn Gallery" and performs a scene from the News Girl by hopping into the "Scene Machine."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Small, small, small Here comes Hayes and Sean Hollywood Handbook Hey, everybody. Wow. Thanks for joining us. This is the first episode of Hollywood Handbook. Episode number one of what will hopefully be a long-running insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet line back rooms of this industry we call showbiz.

A couple of big dogs trying to share their secrets. Sure. You know, burn after listening. Yeah. It's been a long journey for both Sean and I to get here. The happy slog, we call it. Sure. And a lot of people, I think, once they get to this point, they shut the door.

Close the door behind them. Nobody else allowed in. Walk the deadbolt. Walk the deadbolt. Slide the chain. Slide the shutters. Turn the shutters closed. Hang up a gone fishing sign.

Put a chair in front of the door, wedge that underneath a knob there. Not us. We said from the very beginning when it happened for us, we would reach back into the world of the dreamers. Yeah, almost. Instead of slamming the door, what we're going to do is we're going to rip the door off the hinges and let all the freaks in.

Yeah. We're going to let all the misfits who, who Hollywood said, no, you're not good enough. You're too different. You're too edgy or raw. And we're going to say,

that's our people, man. Yeah. And I think we have a chance at really turning this town upside down once and for all yeah turning it on its ear uh for those of you that don't know us i'm hayes davenport uh this is uh sean clements hi um a while ago we used to host another earwolf show about what was it about um it's like the news yeah it was about news and documentary style right uh programming but right it was the kind of thing that's what was hot at the time and

you know you got to go adapt or die you go which way the wind is blowing and um yeah we made the mistake of just latching on to the hot trend yeah and uh We made the mistake of just latching on to the hot trend. Yeah. And I don't regret it because it obviously launched us into the stratosphere. Right. So we could use it for this passion project. Yeah.

Which is a podcast where we sort of analyze the business, give people insider tips and tricks, and hopefully help everyone out there. Yeah, we help. We're at the top of the mountain. This podcast is us throwing down a ladder and saying, everybody, get up here. Yeah. And we should probably get into a little more like our personal journey in Hollywood. That sounds really good. How we got to this point.

Just quickly. That sounds really good. Is it okay if I start? I would love for you to start off. I got my start. I was the first writer hired on a show called Seinfeld when I was 15 years old. And it actually at the time I pitched what would become the name of the show. It was going to be called Mr. Seinfeld. From there, I did a couple years on the Barry Sanders show at the same time. And after that, I sort of wanted to get out of the business for a while, work on stuff that was just, for me, you know, like you write, like a personal screenplay that kind of tells your story, that kind of thing that you'll just like put in a drawer.

But it'll always be there. You know, the thing that is just you as who you are. But, Sean, you leaked it, you read it, and you decided that I guess it should have. I knew you didn't have the guts to put that thing out there, and I knew we needed to see it. And it ended up becoming three movies, actually. Twister, Remember the Titans, and Black Hawk Down.

And from there, bounced around a little bit in movies and TV, created a show called House, and now I'm sort of reluctantly transitioning to the other side of the camera because I made the stupid decision to take my shirt off once when I was relaxing on the grass at the Sony lot. Since then, I've done Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. I was the mayor in that. I was in a movie called We Are Marshall. I was Marshall. I was the title role in that. And I was in Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen, as the guy who beats up a Transformer. And that's...

You punched him so hard his engine shut down. His engine shut down and he sort of slumped and then I gave him a really hard punch so his head flew off into space. There's also a deleted scene where you kicked his robot butt and then a bunch of oil fell out and it sort of looked like you had kicked him in the butt so hard that he pooped his pants. Yeah. And I remember. I said P.U. Yeah. You said P.U.

You said stinky robot. Somebody changes dighty. You said, be you. You said, stinky robot. Somebody changes Daiti. And I couldn't understand why they cut that scene out, because I remember thinking that that was really a much-needed break from the action and drama. Right.

And a little bit of levity. And that's what you bring to the table. Well, the movie was not a big success, I think, maybe, for decisions like that. Go ahead. Yeah, me. Tell us about Sean. You guys know I hate to talk about myself, but at the same time, that's what this is in a way. So, yeah, star athlete, probably could have done anything I wanted in any physical arena,

but at the same time didn't want to let my mind atrophy, so hung up the jersey and the pads and the rackets and all that stuff and was sort of just bumming around Chicago and London doing renegade art pieces that got a lot of buzz. Blah, blah, blah. Told Tina Fey I thought she was funny. She should be a writer. Said maybe do something about

30 Rockefeller Center or something. And just was like throwaway, total throwaway. I think that wound up being a show at one point. Third Rock from the Sun, I think. I don't know. I a show at one point. Third Rock from the Sun, I think. I don't know. I don't own a TV.

But I also wound up meeting a young man named Rocky Gervais, and I told him, you know what's funny? People. And what do people do? Not not me but a lot of people they work in an office and he took that to heart and said oh maybe i should go work in an office and i said no you dope create a show about it and then i told him how to do jokes. And then I went finally to Los Angeles, where I am now. And someone stole my journal, which I had just been keeping just for me to sort of reminisce on all the misadventures I had been having. And not dissimilar to Haze, it wound up being a series of movies. Jurassic Parks, Big Fish, Robocop, the new one.

That's from my journal. What's the Transformers before Revenge of the Fallen? Engineer Cody, this is your, this is what you're supposed to. You're the one who watches this trash. Yeah. The moon. Something about the moon who watches this trash. Yeah. The moon. Something about the moon. The dark moon.

Cody, isn't it something about the dark moon? Big moon. Oh, you know what? It was Apollo 13. That's right. And I, and so, and so after that I said, well, it's out there now. I might as well make a dollar and a cent off it. And, uh, I started doing some of my own stuff and, um, uh, similar to Hayes, a lot of success in front of the camera,

um, have ultimately found that I'm more comfortable behind it. I'm just one of these people who's never been comfortable saying, look at me. I've, I'd rather be like, everybody look at this. This is what's interesting. This is what's important. Um, and a lot of times the camera whips around and they still do look at me. And that's why you've seen some of my cameos in, uh, your Larry Crowns, your Premium Rushes, your Drop Dead Freds. I think that's it lately. That's good. Yeah. Yeah.

That's nice. And so, you know, all of that is behind me now, and I'm here, and I'm doing the podcast. and yes, I'm still doing other stuff and you're going to see our names and deadline and stuff and you're going to think, oh, if they've got this going on, are they going to have time to do the podcast? Yes, we're going to keep doing the podcast. And that's not... Well, it's a good roadmap. Yes. It's a good roadmap.

And there is no one way. Well, they see that we went different directions, you know? The common thread, I would say, is that neither of us ever wanted this. Yes. Didn't want anything to do with it. Yes, that's important to point out. We both sort of fell into, you know, just a knock at our door one day. We were both just doing our own thing.

And I guess some people liked it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, unfortunately, yeah, I didn't really have a choice. doing our own thing uh and i guess uh some people liked it you know yeah uh yeah unfortunately yeah i didn't really have a choice you just get tapped and you have to do it and that's how it happens it's not a choice uh i wish i had a choice about when it comes to like writing yeah when somebody says they chose to be a writer i'm like you're freaking lucky man because if i didn't have some outlet for this freaking wild shit that goes on in my brain if i couldn't splash it down on the page i'd be locked up in a in a freaking asylum cell yeah i'd be in a pad cell straight jacket napoleon hat with a napoleon hat and and handcuffs and on uh

you know leg brace just twist it just twist it up because that's some of what's in my head. And people find it entertaining, luckily. Sure. Now, Engineer Cody, do you remember a while ago, it wasn't actually that long ago, when we asked you to look up the name of the Transformers movie with Dark and Moon in it. And you were sitting in front of a computer and you just kind of... You were on IMDb. I mean, I could see your screen from here.

You typed some stuff and you just sort of shrugged like it was impossible to figure out what the name of that movie was. Do you remember that? I don't know. I think so, yeah. movie was. Do you remember that? I don't know. I think so, yeah. Just as we go forward, because it's

the first episode, we're going to have some kinks to work out on the first episode. Absolutely, yeah. It's not going to be a perfectly oiled machine from day one. For example, I managed to look it up myself. It's Transformers Dark of the Moon. So, in the

future, just typing in the words that we say into it basically anywhere on your screen uh should yeah i remember there was a point where you turned and you gave me this look and this kind of shrug and you shook your head like no dice bud yeah and you seemed scared and you seemed incompetent. And I was thinking, why is he looking at me? Why is he not looking at the screen? Because I think it actually says what we're asking for. Right.

Now, as it turned out, the movie we were thinking of was Apollo 13. Right. Water under the bridge. What? But in the future. And it was nice because you did visibly try something that didn't work. I'm not sure what that could have been. I don't know what you did type in.

And that's what, you know, it's nice to see, but it is also what scares me a little bit. I think what he did was, I said, what was the movie before Revenge of the Fallen? I think he typed in Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, then clicked the back button. And was like, I'll see what's before this. And I think it didn't show him. And it turns out that Dark of the Moon is the third, that was the third installment

so he should have hit the forward button. Yeah, I mean, I don't own a TV, so for me, a lot of this I'm guessing at. But, yeah, anyway. It's all cleared up. It okay bud uh emmys emmy stuff the emmy people want to hear about the emmys who went home with emmy uh we um we went good good show yeah i was on my phone for a lot of it you know the thing that people always really

want to hear about is the the parties the parties uh and people think it's pretty glamorous and think it's pretty cool all these emmy parties but i actually find it more stressful because i go guys could we spread these out over a few weeks right so that i don't have 50 freaking people mad at me i can only hit maybe 12 parties right it's a lot of no so when you're invited to all of them can you imagine the pressure that you feel you know sometimes i just like feel like i would just want to stay home with uh you know with my real fans you know what i mean uh like my girlfriend and my cat like those are like those are my biggest fans who sort of like center me yeah it's a dirty secret we lead pretty simple lives yeah um yeah and that's a dangerous thing to sort of expose because there is this brand of

yes you know the marquees and the hollywood rebel red carpet and stuff like that. Friggin' crazy orgy at Sigourney Weaver's pool house or something. But spoiler alert, we're just normal guys. We're real normal people. We're like you and we have to be. In a lot of ways. Yeah. In some ways we're not. But we wanted to use this opportunity to apologize to some of the parties.

Just some of the parties that we couldn't make it to. Rather than individually having to email every person. We were just like, well, we've got this big platform. Everyone's listening. Let's go ahead and just send out a sorry. Yeah. Like what were... What were some of the parties we

missed? Well, the quick list of just network ones. We're sorry to John Landrogff, but it's FXX, FX, FXM. We couldn't go. We're sorry. Sorry, Louis. And so AMC and some of these other networks.

We're sorry. MTV2. I don't know. Yeah. Chiller. That was very scary. Ovation. You know, we're very sorry.

And then to the individuals, sorry to Tom Colicchio, Jenna Fisher, Brian Posehn, Kelly Clarkson. I heard good things about the there were always those magazine parties there was that big Nintendo Power party on the roof of the Staples Center

I heard that one was and we wish we could have been there and if you and if you would do it on a different night we would go exclusive cheats and stuff that one would have been fun Secret MTV had that the secret channel that shows what songs are going to be cool.

The one that still plays music videos. Yeah, yeah. And from the up and coming ones. It's always so weird. I have to bite my tongue when people complain. They go, it used to stand for music television. And I'm like, well, it still does if you have secret. Oh, okay.

Yeah. And they had all the bands that are going to be sort of cool. The T-shirt boys were there. Yeah, the T-shirt boys. DJ SpaghettiOs. Uncle Berryhound's dad. So that was a shame. That would have been fun.

And obviously the biggest apology would probably owe is Scott Anchorman. Yeah, Scott Anchorman had the big Hollywood Handbook launch party, which we— And we would have loved to attend. And it's not for lack of trying. We did try to move some stuff around. Yeah, we tried to reorganize our schedule as much as we could and i heard that the party was great i heard yeah i heard that uh some of the other hosts were uh were able to show all i guess all the other hosts showed up and they sort of formed

a line of like you know sword like holding swords up that we would pass under on our way in. And we honestly did try to make it. And hopefully next year. Yeah, and hopefully we sent John Leguizamo and Engineer Brett in our place. Hopefully that was at least some of the way there. What was the other there was some other stuff in the emmys this year that we wanted to sort of dig into uh well there was i remember a very powerful message given by one of the i know what you're going to say. One of the award recipients. And it was a message that even though it's 10 to 20 years old, it's still very powerful. Yeah. This is a friend of ours, friend of the show, Steve Levitan.

That's who you're talking about, right? Yes. One of my closest friends. He is the creator of the show Moderate Family. He gave a speech. Shocking win. Surprise win for them. Because I know they had been sort of under the radar.

Yes. So the fact that they were able to collect enough votes. But the Emmys are the time for shows like that. Yes, it's about recognizing what's next, what's new. And what is really the best. Funniest. In the case of comedy, it's about recognizing what's next, what's new. And what is really the best, funniest, in the case of comedy, is the funniest. And what's actually just piss your trousers funny. Yes. And Steve Levitan gave a speech.

He didn't have to, you know, like. Didn't have to give a speech. Normally that's the time where you fucking thank executives or whatever, like suits. You say the same boring shit of like uh we've got a great cast uh yeah thanks to my agents and that shit but he went up with a real message to send right uh i actually had the clip oh that's great okay let's just play it uh thank you to everyone at 20th century fox television dana wald and gary newman and you should you should, you know, you do still thank the suits. You should probably thank the suits. You do still thank the suits. It's a mistake if you...

But a lot of people end there. Right. I cannot begin to express to you how surreal this ride has been because none of us grew up feeling like winners. So thank you to the bullies, to the popular kids, to the gym teachers who taunted us, who rejected us, and who made fun of the way we ran.

Without you, we never would have gone into comedy. Thank you very much. Wow. Brave. You need a minute after that. Yeah. And to paint a picture for the people listening who didn't get to see this some of the losers on stage with him first of all steve levitan is not your

typical what you picture when you think of yeah a rich hollywood writer he is six four uh good looking he's in great shape he's got all his hair. Yeah. And just sort of charismatic. But then behind him. Strong jawline. Really strong jawline. And yeah, just a sort of well-spoken charming. So he's the sort of leader of this freak parade that's up on stage. That includes, if you've ever seen Sofia Vergara, you know she's never felt like a winner in her

life yeah gym teachers must have been giving her hell and you think of like who would have made the decision to put someone like that on TV where she could be seen by other people to hear it

it doesn't make sense on the surface it doesn't make sense. Like on the surface, it doesn't make sense. You wouldn't think it would work. But when combined with... But if there's other freaks around who go, hey, these are our people, man. Right. You're from the same tribe as me. Right.

And they give them that opportunity to shine. And it also, I mean, you've got Ed O'Neill is on that show. Ed O'Neill, yeah. It's a sad story in a way because he was a very, he was like a Division I college athlete. And that doesn't start in college. In order to be a college athlete, you have to have been a high school athlete. So people must have been making fun of the way he ran

because it must have been very fast. Hey, fast guy. Hey, fast guy. Okay. You don't seem to be struggling. Like he probably didn't get winded that much, and it's just like, that's got to be hell on you. And thank you for doing that, Bullies and Gym Teachers,

because he found his way into comedy because of that. And, sorry, to think of, like, Sarah Hyland. Yeah. Who is going through this today. Right now. She is. She's in. She's a young woman.

I think she's in high school. She's a high school age. Yeah. And to imagine her having to go from. Like a fashion shoot, Glamour, Vogue magazine. And having to put up with that kind of abuse. She must be every day. How she...

And to say she never is going to get a chance to feel like a winner. Yeah. You know, except on that stage. Yes. That's the one place that these people get to feel like winners. And so for him to give that message to people, obviously not like Hayes and I, but to people who are out there who are struggling. Yes. Obviously not like Hayes and I, but to people who are out there who are struggling with being incredibly good looking, incredibly wealthy, with being very talented. You know, that's got to feel like shit.

And people must fucking really rake you over the coals for that. Nice reminder for people like us. And also nice vindication for like bullying that you've done in the past and how it's a very good thing to do. Yes. Yeah. Bullies are the inspiration for all creative success. Right. And if we didn't have bullies, we wouldn't have innovation.

Right. And I think it's good to get that out there. And this is the kind of thing that a lot of today's hollywood stars do a little slap on the wrist to them they've been doing all this anti-bullying messaging now because they're like i want to be the only star you know like they don't want any other stars creating the door this is pulling up the ladder this you know what i mean yes if they stop bullying they can be the only star uh and yeah that's why that's gotten so much traction right it's just they're going like oh there'll be no more celebrities if i can end bullying with my

platform i have now and kudos to levitan yes for not taking that in thanks steve levitan for making us uh laugh and and think and think and be sad. We're going to be right back. Oh, we have a guest. John? It's written down somewhere. Yeah, I have his email. Let me see. Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson. Jack Johnson from the News Girl. Star of the News Girl. Star of the News Girl is going to be in the studio. And he's going to take some questions from fans of the show, hopefully, and tell us a little about his craft and all that stuff. So stay tuned to Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook.

So I just slapped it out of her hand. And I went, Mula? Kunitz? hey I mean, the fact that someone told her, it wasn't going to be me, but I'm glad somebody did, because this is every new phone, every time. Hey! Welcome back to Hollywood Handbook. We have a regular feature on this show that we really love to do, and I think the fans like it also, called the Teaser Freezer. We reach into the Teaser Freezer freezer and we grab the latest teaser. Yeah. Everyone loves movie teasers. It's a nice cold treat to just om nom nom, scrum nom nom, gobble down on. And we try to pick what is the hottest, biggest movie that's going to make the most money and be the best.

Right. that's going to make the most money and be the best. Right, and which when you've been in this industry as long as we have, you can sort of pick stuff out. You can smell it. Even at the teaser stage, that's what really makes or breaks the box office. You can smell it on a teaser when it's going to be one for the freezer. And at the time of this recording, this movie has not come out yet, but I think it will have been released and successful and all that by the time you actually hear it. It's a movie called Don John.

Very under the radar. Hasn't really been getting any mainstream promotion because it is an independent film. Yes. Which we really enjoy when artists are allowed to make their own vision. Yes. Starring sort of underground, like Gordon Joseph Levitt, Scarlett Johnson,

Tony Dancer. Tony Dancer and Julianne Marr. Julianne Marr. And these are people that if you saw them, you would say, oh, I remember that person. Oh, they're like whatever cell phone commercial or you know uh and maybe they played chandler's boss or something once for people who don't know

like if we ever get to inside that see this is like a big risk for us if we start using terminology that we know but people outside the business maybe don't know a teaser is like a sort of an advertisement for a movie that plays before the movie before a movie comes out and if you get to the movies early like we try to do they'll show you some people worked hard i'll show you some of these this is what it's promoting the movie and showing you just pieces of it right so we're not playing you a movie right uh but it is pieces of a movie. Right. And if you're listening to a podcast like this,

trying to figure out tips for how you can go to the movies, this sort of gives you something to expect. If you figure out a way to go to the movies, you can see a bunch of teasers before the movie. Don't leave after the teasers because that's when the movie starts. Because there's a movie after the teasers, but they'll show you three or four teasers before uh before the movie don't leave don't leave after the teasers because that's when the movie starts because there's a movie after the teasers but they'll show you three or four teasers um in the theater and it's not your movie yet and uh and you can and if you do want to start going to the movies this podcast is a great place to start and just pick up your newspaper yeah and see where's the theaters. And

then you go and there's somebody there who will help you. And, uh, you can start enjoying these teasers and these movies, uh, and really feel in the know when you listen to this. Okay. So let's, let's open up the teaser freezer. Uh, we're gonna, uh, a frosty blast of air in your face. And, uh, here is, uh, the Don John teaser that we're going to sort of pause intermittently and narrate as it goes. When there's just text on the screen, we'll read it to you. Okay, here it is. Are we recording? Regular Joe here.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have written and directed a movie. It's called Don John, and it's coming out in the fall. We just put together our first trailer for it, so I'll shut up now, and you can watch that. But I'll be back. First of all, why, before this, has guys that are in movies not been at the beginning of the teaser saying,

here it comes? Yeah, I mean, this has been a pet peeve of mine about teasers for a long time, not been at the beginning of the teaser saying, here it comes. Yeah. I mean, this has been a pet peeve of mine about teasers for a long time, is that when I'm going to watch a teaser for Toy Story or something that I don't have Chuck Spaceman asking if I'm recording. And then when I see him going like, hey, you're going to see this teaser. Yeah. Because a lot of times,

and I'm sure this has happened to our audience at home, if they've managed to go to a movie, is the teaser started and they've gone, what the fuck is happening? What the fuck is going on in here? No one told me we were recording and nobody told me who they are. Yeah.

It's very scary. Yes. And one other thing I'd like to point out that's great is this guy who's talking to us, we're gonna see him

in the movie playing a character. And so, in order to differentiate, he doesn't just say, hey, I'm Gordon Joseph Leavitt. He goes, I'm regular Joe. This is just him hanging out.

Because before he says that, you forgot that he was your friend. You know, like just in case you didn't know that he was like a good friend of yours. He gives you that reminder in the beginning. And he's going to be doing a very different voice, a very fake voice during the movie, but he also is doing a fake voice whenever he's talking. And so it's nice to clarify this is my regular Joe voice. It's fake, and I'm going to be doing a fake weird accent in the movie part.

Yeah. So here's the difference. Let's hear that. I want to hear that. There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride.

My family. My church. My boys. My girls. And my porn. That is the same guy. I know we said that. It's the same guy. I know we said that. It's the same guy speaking, and that's why he had to let you know.

That is the same guy. It sounds like two different guys, but it is the same guy. And he was right to chuckle when he said I directed a movie. Yes. It's very funny. I'll skip the part. It goes on. He just repeats those things for a couple minutes.

He repeats those things, and that, I think, is a mistake. He said this is the first trailer they cut, and I assume they took it out of the later ones that he says it over again. They accidentally looped it. Body pad. Ride. Family. Church. Boys. Girl. And now he's looking at Scarlett

Johnson. He meets her at the bar. She's sexy. It says written and directed by... That's definitely her. Gordon Joseph Levin. This girl's more than a diaper. Oh my God. Were you in love with this girl already?

I'm sure I've seen this girl. Oh my God. What's her name? What's her name? Why'd you say yes to me? I'm just going to have to wait to find out. See, that was a cool part where the mom saying, what's her name, what's her name name and then not saying it yes because it's sort of the voice of the audience

at that point like oh what's that girl's gotta know oh now i gotta shell out whatever it is pay the bucks to find out $25 for a movie these days it's's outrageous. It is outrageous. It pays the bills. All right, I got time. You're cute. I like you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Listen, you want to know the truth?

You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. And I think that's a good time to remind everyone that Gorgias Leavitt also wrote this movie. So when you hear something like that, a good exchange like that,

where does that come from? That him you like movies i don't watch too many movies the pretty woman the pretty man when they drive off into the sunset everyone knows it's fake i love movies like that but they watch it like it's real life oh baby what are you doing i was just reading email no you weren't But they watch it like it's real life. Baby. What are you doing? I was just reading email. No, you weren't.

She caught me watching porn. That's it, right? Oh! Now, a lot of people at the beginning of the teaser are listening to it and saying, where's that song? Where's Good Vibrations? By Marky Mark and the Funchy Bunch. Isn't that supposed to be the song that's in?

And then they do reward you with it. And it's one of many pieces of this trailer that is very timely. Because the Funchy Bunks are right now coming back, blowing up again. And then also, if you notice, a lot of this is reminiscent of a very popular TV show that is huge right now. The Jersey Shoremans. Yeah. And the Jersey Shoremans's all dressed like this

and they talk like this and when he's doing my body, my clothes that's kind of what those guys are like with their gym tan laundry stuff and if you couldn't put it together Ronnie shows up

in the trailer and he just bonks you over the head and he goes hey you dummy he's doing Jersey Shore, man. So you know you already like it. There was also that, in a lot of these movies and in the teasers, they'll have those exchanges that are sort of like you and your friends interact. It's supposed to replicate real life. And there was that great exchange where his friend goes,

so she caught you watching porn? And he goes, I know, right? And the guy goes, oh! Yeah, well, first he goes, that's it? Yeah, he caught you watching porn, that's it? I know, right? Oh! Yeah, then.

And you sort of wonder what happened for him in between thinking it wasn't a big deal and thinking it was a big suddenly because he said i know right that's what really set him off yeah because he did understand at first that it wasn't that big a deal yeah he was like oh you actually took the attitude that it wasn't a big deal? Then now it is a big deal. I think. I don't know. I'm going to have to shell out the $45 or whatever the eff it costs to go see a movie these days. And, you know, that's just that.

Because I got to know her name and I got to know why that guy changes minds so fast. Let's keep going. She caught me watching porn. That's it? Right? Oh! How do you watch that? How do you watch all the stupid movies that you watch?

Movies and porno are different, John. They give awards for movies. They give awards for porn, too. You drop the music when you do a funny teaser joke. That's another. That's just a trick of the teaser. Yes. There's only a few things I really care about in life.

I don't know if I really want a wife and kids. Look what you did. I look like a grandmother, but do I have any grandchildren? If you want to lose yourself, you have to lose yourself in another person. It's a two-way thing. That's Julianne Marr. It'll be interesting to find out who she is in the movie, because she's not the mom. it'll be interesting to find out who she is in the movie,

because she's not the mom. She's an older lady who is friends with Don John. I think she's his analyst, which to see sort of a tough guy, sort of a tough Italian-y guy going to an analyst is something that we haven't really seen in TV or in movies. I don't know if I could buy something. It would be very interesting if they were to show that, but the truth is that tough guys don't need that stuff.

They don't go to something like that because you have to tuck by your feelings there. Right. And they have their guard up. So I'd be interested to see if they were brave enough to do something like that, but it would... If they did it responsibly, yeah. I'd have to say, prove it to me. Do it to friends.

And maybe it's time to try something new. And this is, I'll just read you the review from Entertainment Weekly. It says, funny, touching, smart, and supremely confident. Now that is something I don't think we say enough about movies, that it seems confident. Yeah. That while making the movie, whoever made it must have never second-guessed any choices they made. They must have gone, yes, this thick of an accent is appropriate. Yes, this song by the Funchie Bunks is appropriate.

This song by the Funchie Bunks is appropriate. Yes. All this story and this friend changing his mind this fast is the right amount of time it should take. And I think that not enough people are confident enough to just never really take a second look and go, is this good? So. It's such a sweet depression. It's such a good depression. And here he is singing along

He's singing along with a bunchy bunch And then he pulls up alongside another car And he stops singing And then he starts again And he said he was coming back Gordon Joseph Leavitt So I hope he does. Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you very much. You're far too kind. Hey, you want to follow my YouTube channel? You can do that. You can also follow me on... See, that is the same guy also. We should say he's doing a third voice. He's doing another new voice.

Yeah. But it is still the same guy. Yeah, he's disappeared into this regular Joe character. And that's why it's called acting. Yes. In the words of Lawrence Oliver, that's why it's called acting. That's why they call it doing acting, kid. The Twitter, on the Facebook, on the Yahoo Tumblr.

Or, if you're feeling creative, I run a collaborative production company called Hit Record. And we're about to start making all kinds of art revolving around the themes of this movie Don John. So if you're a writer or a filmmaker or a musician or any kind of artist, come check out the site. Oh, I made a video about that collaboration to start it off, as I do on a regular basis, which is part of the reason why I'm called Regular Joe. Ask Rob Brown the other reason. Thanks again. And we did ask Rob Brown,

and he said it's because Gordon Joseph Levitt's bowel movements are so consistently timed. And I don't work blue. I'm not making a joke. But we did ask Rob Brown because we know him. And that's what he told us is the other reason. I don't know if he's having a joke on us. It's time to close the teaser freezer.

Close the teaser freezer and keep everything else fresh. Sneak a munch on an Otter Pop. Then, okay, time to close it up. We'll be right back with our guest, Jack Johnson, from the News Girl. We're very excited. He asked us if he could be our launch guest, and we said no. We went back and forth a few times. Yeah, ultimately.

Give the kid a break we worked it out we'll be right back on hollywood handbook are we recording are we recording are we recording? Are we recording? Are we recording? Are we recording? Is the light? Is the light on? Are we recording? I think we are.

Hey, regular Sean here, sitting with... Old regular Hayes, your buddy. We're back with our guest, Jake Johnson. Such a pleasure to have you on our first episode. Thanks, guys. It's a real honor to be here. We know you're busy. We know you're very busy, and it's always nice of you to carve out some time for your

old buddies, Hayes and Sean. Yeah. How you guys been? We've been good. We've been good. It's been a wild ride. Great. Things obviously have changed a little bit from when we first knew you back in the days when we were all just grinding it out, just trying to make a buck in this business.

Right. Yeah, it's fun to think about when we were all doughboys going off to war. Right. Sean and I were talking the other day, Jake, about we were remembering when you were, I think you were working as a bartender at the airport. Right. After Sean and I. The Burbank airport. The Burbank airport, yes.

Trying to swing a gig at LAX was not turning out for you. You get more tips. Yes, you get more tips. But Burbank's way more convenient. Yeah, so you're, yeah,'re I mean it's the devil's bargain but yeah I loved working there you were working there and Hayes and I would go in there

every day just to sort of take meetings with you guys would go through security yeah we'd buy a ticket well it's like a membership you pay for Soho House or whatever you know like nobody says that's crazy you buy a plane ticket Post-90s, I mean. Yes. Well, it's like a membership. You pay for Soho House or whatever. Nobody says that's crazy.

You buy a plane ticket every day just to be in a place where, because that's where the players play. Well, there's, I mean, as you guys know, obviously, there's a lot of, you know, L.A. to New York, L.A. to New York, out of Burbank. So you guys will go right by the JetBlue area and just. Not JetBlue necessarily. We do Spirit, the Spirit Terminal. What business were you into back then?

It was always the writing-acting game, right? It was the writing, acting, producing, directing, directing, just casting. Conceiving of, I guess, just having ideas, yeah. I gotta say, you guys, I've always viewed you two, and you know this,

as huge talents. Yeah yeah and same for you man when you came to us when you were sort of grinding it out in Burbank and said guys I think I'm gonna hang it up yeah you said guys these two whiskey sours are on the house and I think they're the last ones I'm gonna serve

those were on Lou remember Lou? you remember Lou? can I help you? and I think they're the last ones I'm going to serve. Those were on Lou. Remember Lou? You remember Lou? You remember Lou? Can I help you? But, yeah, you said these are on Lou, and you said, I'm going to hang it up,

banging my head against the wall out here. Yeah, I just couldn't catch a break. You know, we tried to loan you more dough, and you wouldn't take it. Well, look, you know, the reality is at that point, I was looking at myself in the mirror. I was 39 years old, 350 pounds. I had hair down to my lower back. And I just thought, how the fuck is this town going to see me for what I am?

Yeah. And we also said, yeah, stop. We said, that makes sense for you, for where you're at and for what you appeared to be capable of. But I appreciated what you guys were really doing as my best friends. Yeah. And that was, you guys said to me, stop. You know, you guys always, you always teased me. You came in there, you razzed me. But you guys did it like the brothers I never had because I was in an orphanage.

Yeah. You know? You at that time were living in an orphanage. I'm so sorry. Fuck, man. I didn't expect this. I thought we were going to be doing some bits up here. Yeah.

This is fucking me up emotionally. No, man. You guys fucked with me, you teased me, and I said I was going to quit, and you said you should, but what I know what you were really saying, and what you're saying is get out there and do it. you know man you guys fucked with me you teased me and i said i was going to quit and you said you should but what i know what you were really saying and what you're saying is get out there and do it and i appreciate you guys and can i say no one was happier or prouder than i was when 25 26 years later i'm flipping through my tv guide channel and what do i see but the news girl starring my friend Jack Johnson.

Yeah, well, that's close. It is called The New Girl, Fox Tuesdays at 9. My name is Jake. Come on, Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, the reality of it is I'm doing this today. True, we haven't all hung out in a long time, which is regrettable. Life gets big. I mean, life is regrettable. But I got to.

Life gets big. I mean, life gets big. No doubt. No doubt. But here's the thing. I got to get the word out there. I got to get people watching. Sure.

It's right before a show called The Mindy Project starring Mindy Kaling. Yes, I've heard of that show. Yeah. Yes. You haven't heard of my show? Very funny show. I have not heard of your show. Zooey Deschanel.

Schmidt. Oh, Schmidt. I've heard of that. I know. I've heard of Mr. Schmidt Zooey Deschanel Schmidt Oh Schmidt I've heard of that I've heard of Mr. Schmidt Oh everyone knows Mr. Schmidt I have heard of Mr. Schmidt The show's not called Mr. Schmidt Is it

Is that a different show? No Okay On Tuesday night You got the show Dads Then you got Brooklyn Nine-Nine With Andy Samberg Yeah

I've seen those shows Those are good shows Then you got Never Miss Brooklyn Nine-Nine With Andy Samberg Yeah Then, I've seen those shows. Those are good shows. Never miss Brooklyn Nine-Nine with Andy Samberg. Yeah. Then you got New Girl. Okay.

And then you got The Mindy Project. We believe you. Yeah. It's not called Mr. Schmidt, all right? That's just what people, when they come in to work the next day, I hear like, did you see Mr. Schmidt last night? Yeah, or someone will be saying you see Mr. Schmidt last night? Yeah, or someone will be saying what Mr. Schmidt said. They'll be quoting him.

Why are you putting Mr. Schmidt? Or they've got the shirt on. There's a chance Schmidt's his first name. We've never called him Mr. Schmidt. We've done 56 episodes. We've never called him Mr. Schmidt. Because the writers have told us we don't know if it's Mr. Schmidt or Schmidt's first name. Uh-huh.

This is, okay, well, this is going to be a good, I think, segue. Cody, can you sit back down at the engineering board, please? Cody just stood up. Cody was standing up. Just sort of. Just take a walk around. Go ahead and keep the cans on, just for quality control stuff. Just QC.

We want you to hear. And that's. Make sure it's coming through clean. Jake, you're sitting close to him. I'm trying. He's stuck behind me. If you see him, take those cans off. Just give us. We want you to hear. Make sure it's coming through clean. Jake, you're sitting close to him. I'm trying. If you see him take those cans off, just give us a signal. Some sort of shout out, no doubt. And we'll take care of it.

We heard you mention the writers, and I think it's a good segue to educate some of our audience who maybe haven't heard of the Mr. Schmidt show. Let's talk about the Mr. Schmidt show. Yes. Let's talk about the show. Where? Yeah. How? Okay. How did you get the idea for News Girl? Me?

Yes. I didn't get the idea. Hmm. Okay. Well, that's a scoop. This is a big scoop. I don't think it's a scoop. Mark it down.

This isn't a scoop. Scoop troop. Get your notebooks out. This isn't a scoop troop moment, notebooks out this isn't a scoop troop moment guys is it the kind of thing where like you didn't get the idea it just came to you those are the best ideas the ones where you're not trying you don't feel like you had i didn't write it you just happen to be in the right i didn't write it okay i'm just acting in it okay i play uh mr miller oh okay mr miller now what everyone talks about the water coolers the next day or whatever. Now, on your IMDb page, it says Nick.

What? It says you play- Yeah, Nick Miller. Mr. Miller. Nick Miller. Nick Miller. Mr. Miller. Now, talk about him for a second.

Which one is he? Well- Now, talk about him for a second. Which one is he? Well, which guy is Nick? Well, what the fuck, guys? Let's break it down. He's not Zoe. Right. He's not Lamorne Morris. Yeah, sure.

Yes. And he's not Mr. Schmidt. Yes. So who is he? Right. So if he's not Zoe, he's not the black guy, and he's not Mr. Schmidt, then who is he? He's the guy in the checkered shirt with the scruffy... Yes.

Bingo. Sure. Bingo. Okay. So you do watch. I've seen the... I've flipped through EW. I've seen little shots of it.

I've been in there six times, so it really doesn't matter to me, but... Let me ask you this. In that six times, in Variety five times, in Hollywood Reporter 9. Congratulations. You're wearing a checkered shirt, and you have kind of a scruffy beard tonight. Do you have to film it right after? How do you get ready to play a character like Nick Miller? Well, if you want the truth, that just came from an appearance at Target.

We had the whole cast. We do appearances around Hollywood, and we make bank. Sure. We just stand in front of different appliances, and then we go to different bars. It's like you've heard in Vegas. Yes. Where Snooki goes to the VIP at some club and makes X amount of bank.

Right. Some of the cast members and me do it. And you'll do a residency. Like in Vegas, you'll do a residency at like Veggie Grill or something like that. That's right, 100%. Yeah. What's the new Chipotle, but it's like Asian food? Do you know that one?

No. It's new. It's close to the Arclight. Yeah. You guys should look into that. I could see that being a nice cross-promotion. How come? Maybe Mr. Schmidt's chopping up tofu or something.

Mm-hmm. Isn't that what he does? How come? Isn't that mostly what he does on the show? Well, they're both new things, I just thought. Well, we're not new things. We're in season three. Oh, good. Oh, good. Congratulations. We got to move on. Okay. Great. things I just thought well we're not new things we're in season 3 oh good oh good

congratulations we gotta move on great go ahead did you see bridesmaids yeah a couple years ago okay I thought it was funny too brave too we're gonna

let's read Let's go to the Popcorn Gallery Let's go to the Popcorn Gallery This is a segment that our fans obviously love A lot of Joe and Jane Q public movie goer types don't have direct access

to working Hollywood actors and so we get questions from them. So it's our version of the peanut gallery. It's the popcorn gallery. I love it. So we reach into the popcorn bag. Great.

And we pull out a question. It's from Bird Rules. And his question for Jake Johnson is, Jake, how do you get into the funny zone? You're on a comedy TV show. Yeah. How do you get into the funny zone? You're on a comedy TV show. Yeah. And when you're, sometimes you need to really get into that place.

Sean and I do comedy as well. It's different for everybody. Right. I have my way of doing it. He has his way. We'd like to hear about your way of getting into the funny zone. Well, I didn't study acting for nine years to flop around with funny ears on and goofy shoes

and get in my funny zone. Right. Right. I'm an actor. Right. That's cheating. So how do I get in my funny zone?

Great script. A great script. I don't know about you guys, but I know you guys will run around and chase each other's dicks on stage and go, like, whoop-de-doo-de-doo-de-doo and everybody laughs, but that's not what I do.

We chase each other's dicks. What I do is I read the material, I become the material, I say the lines, and I will specifically, if my character has a pause, I will ask in the script to tell me how many seconds. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

Okay, so if the script said for you to chase Mr. Schmidt's dick around do you throw that in the wastebasket or are you willing to you know what I don't throw

you know what a script is Bible so if the Bible says something you don't choose to throw it out. Right? I'm not a religious guy. Oh, then a strange analogy

for you to use. So you think that a script is not an important thing. It's something you don't believe in. Something you don't think is real. That other people find important and you almost think that's silly. What would you say to your fans who do believe that God is real? I didn't say that I don't think God is real.

Okay. I don't, you know, I think it's basically a script. You know what I mean? With a great writer. Oh. New girl is. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

I think so, yeah. I do. And so when I look at a script... I just figured, yeah, now I know probably even more than Hayes does. Yeah. But I probably know the most of the three of them is because I said it. I don't want to go... We can cede that ground.

I don't want to go back to the Burbank Airport where we play Who's Dick's the Longest. Right. Because everybody's doing great. Yeah, now everyone is doing great. Should we get into the scene machine? Yeah, let's hop into the scene machine and just drive into a fun scene.

This is where we create a scene out of nothing. We just put a bunch of loose parts in the scene machine. Improv. Well, not necessarily improv because we do want you... You said before you're here to a scene out of nothing. We just put a bunch of loose parts in the scene machine. Improv. Uh, well, not necessarily improv because we do want you, you're here to,

you said before you're here to, uh, promote script writing, promote that show, uh, that you're on. Uh, so,

Tuesdays at nine, uh, before the Mindy project, after Andy Sandberg and Brooklyn nine, nine. Yeah. Uh, an hour after dads.

Do you hang out with Mimby at all? When you are, when you're doing stuff like because you're right next to the mimby project do you what project mimby get to mimby who the hell is mimby i assume she's a friend of yours because you're right next she plays She plays Mindy on that show. Yes. Her name's Mindy. On the show. On the show, sure. And in real life. No.

Who are you guys thinking of? There's a famous actress named Mindy Kaling. No, Jake. She plays Mindy. Who are you guys thinking of? Jake, that's a fake show. No, I know. In the show. She's on a TV show.

And her name's Mindy Lahiri in the show. She's just playing someone on a TV show. But Mindy Kaling, who's an author, named Mindy Kaling. Yeah, who's an author slash actress. Who's Mindy Kaling? That's just the show. That's just a character on a show. She's playing a doctor.

That's all fake. No, I know that... Dude, I'm not an idiot, man! I'm not an idiot man I'm not an idiot I know it's a show but I don't think her name is Mimby Colleen Mimby

a real doctor wouldn't be allowed to do all the stuff that she does no I know because it's a show and Chris Messina she's very unprofessional I agree I know. I know.

But, yeah. So to answer your question, I'm not friends with her. Okay. But I think she's nice. Let's get into the scene. Yes. Sorry. The scene machine.

I'm sorry. I sidetracked us. Jake, we're going to have you play Nick. Okay. Your character from the show. I'll be- We're doing a scene from New Girl? Yeah.

Hmm. I don't have the script. No, it's an improvised scene. I don't improvise. Well, then let's do a real scene. Great. Here's the script. Great. Okay.

Interesting. I'll be Jeb. Jess. Okay. Sean, who would you like to play? I'd like to play Mr. Schmidt. I don't know if you got it in you. You seem more like a Winston.

Now let's set up the scene. Let's give context for the scene. I hope that's not some sort of a racial insult. What? You said it with a very negative... No, because right now, Winston's storyline is he has weird feelings for puzzles and cats. Yes, I've seen it. It's meaty stuff.

It's meaty stuff. Well, it's... It's the kind of thing that you wouldn't see on television 10, 15 years ago in those multicam shows. I think you would. They didn't have time to explore it. No, because the laugh track ate up too much time. And then when you do single cam, you can do it because you have more time, more lines. Yeah. I think there's truth to that.

Okay. Because I think the laugh track takes up time, and without it, you get more time for lines. Well, I'd like to play Mr. Schmidt, and we'll just see if I have it in me or not. Okay. I guess so. Let's do a scene where I am Jess,

and I've just done something unacceptably strange okay uh and you're Jess yes okay and you Nick you need to put me in my place without hurting my feelings okay so first tell us what you do what process you go through to get to a place where you can do that as the character Nick well I think about who in my real life has done something that just acted out of line and i got a few people that i could always go to and it just pisses me off and i think well i love that person they're a valued person my mother my sister i mostly use a female for jess or i'll use a guy for mr schmidt and i think this girl really did it to me this time my sister. I mostly use a female for Jess or I'll use a guy for Mr. Schmidt. And I think this girl really did it to me this time. My sister,

my mom, my cousin Teresa, other girls. Get super furious and then enter this in. Okay. Are you there? I'm there. I'm gonna go but why is it called a washing machine if it can't wash my car who is that

huh that's Jess that's from the show why is it called a washing machine if it can't wash my car yeah that's it yeah why is it called a washing machine if it can't wash my car? Yeah. That's it.

Yeah, why is it called a washing machine if it can't wash my car? Well, I'll tell you the way Nick would respond. Unlike this dialogue that was written out by one of our writers. Okay, okay. It's nonverbal. It's the look. Okay, for the people at home, he sort of folded his arms. For the people who are listening at home, he folded his arms and he raised his eyebrows and he sort of crinkled his brow.

Yeah. Okay, now I'll just, okay. I was just trying to help. I'm entering now. Here I am. Why did no one tell me that my face cream expired? Oh, he's still, he's doing the same look. Okay, and I got that look. This was a different one.

Yeah, that was like, are you really going to act like this? Uh-huh. Yeah. I put my car in the washing machine. I found a frog in my face cream. Okay, and then that look was kind of like a frog. You know what that look was? Yeah, please tell me.

The look where you can cut to commercial break. That's an act blow. And that's how powerful it is. That's an act blow. You can go out and you don't have to write the blow. Let me explain to you. You don't know. So in TV with audiences, you had laughter.

Now that he comes in there, he says about the frog and the lip gloss, and then boom, you cut to the expression. The expression says, I get it, and I'm moving the story with a look. That's interesting that you said lip gloss. That's a little window into your craft, actually, because nobody said that before. What did you say? Face cream? He said face cream.

But you said lip gloss because I don't think you were so inside. Oh, you're complimenting me. Yeah, thank you. Putting your character together that you thought, in this moment, my character wouldn't be listening to what was going on at all. I'd be looking at Jess's lips. Yeah. He'd be thinking about a look. And also, lip gloss even further feminizes Schmidt.

Which I feel like maybe Nick doesn't think Mr. Schmidt is all man. Mm-hmm. And it was very intimidating to be on the other side of that. Oh, I would not want to be on the other side of that. Oh, I would not want to be on the other side of that. And Mr. Schmidt earns his paycheck, I'll tell you something. Well, I don't think you're ever in any fear of being on the other side of that. Because you've got to get the job through auditions. Sure.

Right, and you know that I'm offer only. Yeah. But you've got to pass a lot of levels to get on the other side of that. Yeah. And you know that I'm offer only and that they wanted to go for more of a no name and undiscovered talent. It's too distracting to have someone like me on there. You'll get the looks in podcasts.

Yes. Let's reach back in the popcorn gallery one more time before we go. I think this is a good question to end on. This is from Chance On. Chance On. Listener. Great. Jake, is it hard being famous?

Is it hard being famous? Well, you know what? It's hard doing appearances. But you have to do those because the show is a loss leader. No. Well, I do those appearances because I've got my own appearance agent. So when I do those appearances, what I didn't say, it's not the other series regulars doing it with me.

It's guest stars. It's co-stars. It's anybody who's been on the show with me. Because I got a guy who runs them. I get the checks. And it's a moneymaker. And would you say that your agent is your best friend at this point? I would say he's my brother.

Yeah. And what is crafty like on the new girl? I like it. M&M's. M&M's. So it's sweets mainly. Donuts. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that. It's not just sweets. It's M&M's. M&M's, so it's sweets mainly. Donuts. No, I wouldn't say that.

It's not just sweets. It's M&M's, it's Skittles, it's candy, sodas, donuts, chocolate bars. Everything. Yeah, you're only listing sweets. I don't think that's true. Frosted Flakes. Okay. Cereal. Right, that's more. Frosted Flakes. Okay. A cereal. Right, that's more in the middle, but also pretty sweet cereal.

I mean, other cereal, too. A bunch of, I mean, look, craft service is really, it's not, you know, it's just, it's a bunch of shit. Yeah. It's good. Okay, so then Crafty's good. That's good. Our audience will want to hear that. Yeah, food's good.

And then you had a, you wanted to promote a movie. Yes. I want to promote a movie. It's called Boys Night Out. It's on VOD right now. It stars me, Vince Vaughn, Danny Glover. Yeah. It's about the three of us.

We're best friends. It stars me, Danny Glover, Vince Vaughn. We play all best friends. Mm-hmm. And it's a night where we all have young babies at home. Mm-hmm. And we're all dads. We all live in the suburbs of Detroit.

And we decided to have a boys' night out. Last time. One last hurrah. One last hurrah. But when we go out, it's reliving all the stuff, and everything goes crazy. So it's a shout-out to the movies of the 80s. And it's very contemporary. And was Danny busting you up nonstop?

Well, the reputation when we were growing up was that Mel Gibsonson was the prankster it's not it's danny dan and so that must have bussed you up pretty good he was he was doing pranks on camera off camera he didn't memorize any of his lines he was funny and dramatic it's the kind of thing you just turn on the camera and it's just like, go. Go. At one point, I literally think me and Vince just sat there, knuckles closed, on a chin washing. You forgot, oh, wait, I got a job to do, too. I gotta say my lines.

But, you know, the reality of it was a lot of fun. It's a really good movie. It's really sweet. There's a lot of great females in it. Unknowns. Yeah. And it's on VOD. You can find it now. It's on iTunes. There's a powerful anti-cigarette message in there as well.

Absolutely. You know, the reality is, I don't know if everybody knows this, it gives you cancer. They're bad for you, yeah. Well, 100%. 100%. Yeah. There's been a lot of years where it's been both sides of the fence. Now there's no fucking around.

You smoke cigarettes, you're going to most likely get cancer. Yeah, and to take a strong stance like that is pretty powerful. Time to speak. I'm really glad you pointed that out because that is something not everyone – it's only one scene. And a lot of my monologue in it got cut out. Yeah, they whittled it down to it. And you can tell that there's been a big chunk cut out in the middle of it. The editing of that scene, all jokes aside, really pissed me off.

Do you want to do it for us? Do you want to tell us some of what we missed? The original one was 45 minutes in the show, in the movie. And I literally think this is the only thing in there. And I'm not kidding when I say I went off for 45 straight minutes. They had to reload one of the cameras in the middle of it because we ran out of the fucking card I literally stopped and kept my facial expression in the same spot so we could start again because I was thinking about editing

in the movie it's Danny Glover smoking which his character didn't smoke he was just views he kept saying it's a boy's night it's a boy's night smoked in every scene smoked every day smoked in the hotel room everything yeah in the movie i go hey put out that and it cuts to him smoking and i go cigarette but it's not even my voice saying cigarette yeah so it's hey cut out that and then they use a weird cut, and you hear, cigarette. Yeah, and that's Haley Joel. I didn't know that. ADR King. It fucking pissed me off, man. That's frustrating.

They cut all my stuff in that movie. Half my stuff is ADR, so I guess it's Haley Joel Osment. They made my character gay. I didn't say any of that stuff. All that's ADR. Oh, really? With me and Vince, that whole thing in the second act, I didn't say any of that. I wouldn't say it. It's all ADR.

I think you're handsome. Oh, you hate that stuff. What are you talking about? Yeah. That's not in the movie. I didn't agree to do that. Yeah, you would have said no to that because you hate that.

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck no. The ADR, the whole thing. I got the munches for you. What does that even mean? Everyone's laughing. I was at the arc light. Everyone's laughing. I stood up and go, I got the munches for you what does that even mean everyone's laughing I was at the arc light everyone's laughing

I stood up what's the munches making you look like the idiot yeah it's very funny I think it means you want to chew on his like buttocks but I

you know but regardless it's I don't know it's disappointing to hear that they did that to you but whatever

sort of your vision yeah it's on VOD iTunes on VOD, iTunes. On VOD. Everybody check it out. Boys Night Out. Super fun movie to do. But any of that gay shit, that's not.

I didn't choose that. I wouldn't have said yes. To my true fans of Jake M. Johnson out there, you can trust in me. Never would I do that. I don't know. It's just disappointing. But right on to my true Jake M. Johnson fans. You guys know you're always the number one and you guys

love Mr. Miller. Thanks, Jake. Thank you so much, Jake. Thanks so much for coming on Hollywood Handbook. Thanks to everyone out there for listening. Rate us on iTunes. Subscribe to the forums and purchase our pro version. Yeah, please do buy the pro version.

You get access to all kinds of cool extras. You get a 45-minute Skype with the boys. 45-minute Skype with the boys. You get a bunch of exclusive gifs. This is the pro version. Yeah, this is what we're saying. Yeah. Yeah.

We're plugging the pro version of the podcast because it's not as expensive as it could be to just listen to the normal episode. You guys are charging for other things too? Yeah, you get a bunch of exclusive GIFs. You get an interview with Lamorne Morris. So if this one sort of whet your appetite for... To get into the belly of the beast that is... I don't think he would do this podcast.

The real thing. Lamorne's not going to do it. I only did it because I know you guys from a while ago. This is dog shit. It's going to get 200 views tops. that is maybe the real thing. I don't think he would do this podcast. I know you guys from a while ago. This is dog shit. It's okay, 200 views tops. No, he wouldn't do it for free. He won't do it for money.

It's not really views you're looking for, yeah. What is it you guys are looking for? We found it. We found a number. You found a number with Lamorne? How much are you paying him? I don't think that's for you. I'll text him right now.

So will I. You don't even have his number. Yes, I do. You want me to read it to you? Yes. Read. Sean, if you could just read Lamorne Morris' number. 310?

Yep. You know it by heart. Yeah, I call him every day. 689? You dial out the whole thing? Read everything but the last two. And make people guess what those last two are. There's also a nine in it, and there's also a zero in it.

Okay. So that'll be fun for people on the forums to guess what Lamar Morris' personal phone number is. And to call it. So you guys charge for Skypes? Well, it's part of the... Once you get the pro version, it's free. We charge for the pro version and Skypes are included in that. And then the Skypes are free.

Why would they want to Skype with you? So we can give them tips about achieving Hollywood success. Oh, students. Or whatever they want. Not everyone has good friends in their life like we were to you back at the Burbank airport when you were a bartender.

So give me some three pieces of advice that the people could potentially look out for. Okay. Pay money if you want the real advice. That's good. I mean, that's the main advice that we want to give is that

it is available we have the juice we have the good stuff yeah okay but it's gonna cost a little bit and then and you want it to

because you don't want everyone to have it yeah it's like an acting coach that's one you gotta pay for the good stuff two is rate us on iTunes okay

rate us on iTunes comment in the forums mhm and then get the pro version on iTunes. Okay. Rate us on iTunes. Comment in the forums. Mm-hmm. And then get the pro version. Bye. Bye, everybody. This has been an Earwolf Media Production.

Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com. EarwolfRadio.com The wolf dead. That was a HeadGum Podcast.