Hollywood Handbook - Jim O’Heir, Our Parks and Recreation Friend

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

The Boys help JIM O’HEIR fix Parks and Rec for his podcast Parks and Recollection. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. You guys know how much we love water on this show. We talk about it literally every single episode and about the water that we have been trying to make ourselves. We basically have- Not trying to make. We've been making it. We've been making it.

We've been trying to perfect it. And it's not presently drinkable. Yes. So we have here, I'm really excited about basically like in a quite higher situation where like we have, we have a partnership now with Fiji Water. This is the number one. It's gonna get us so much closer.

Premium imported bottled water brand in the US. And they had basically come to this is like kind of the water that we were trying to first imitate and then top in success. So funny. We were coming for them and they must have felt us breathing down their neck and just said like, you know what, let's work together. We're more powerful as a team than as combatants. And I agree actually, because their water is drinkable.

It has a 7.7 pH, perfectly balanced. And you know, I'm not- Ours has a 700.700 pH. Yeah, so we were a bit higher. And then, you know, unlike the other two premium bottled water brands, whose names I will not mention, the two top ones, but you think, you probably know who I mean.

And one of them's us. And one of them is us and we, their electrolytes are 100% naturally occurring. Ours were 100% unnaturally supernatural. Ours were summoned inside of a pentagram, basically. These ones are from the earth. They have more than double the electrolytes of the other two top premium water bottle brands,

giving it the signature soft, smooth taste. It's like velvet. And we're can, we are being allowed to continue developing. PG one. There's not a non-compete or anything. It's not PG 13 and we've explained this obviously. Yeah. But like, it's not, it doesn't have that kind of edge, but it's not G either.

That's, yeah. It's a little bit, it's kids can have it, but you should be around them when they do. Yes. Fiji water is bottled at the source and untouched by man until you unscrew the cap. Their bottles are made from a hundred percent recycled plastic and they continue to lead the top preview bottle water competition on launching a hundred percent recycled plastic bottles earth's finest water and Fiji water and I have a tagline for them that you probably haven't heard and that they haven't heard and it is, feed me Fiji. Thanks Fiji.

Okay. So, uh, it's a little bit of a different one today. Um, not how we, not how we drew it up. Is it Kevin? It's not crazy. How that happens. And the thing about podcasts is if you want to make the pod lords laugh, make a plan is what they say because it'll be, it'll get messed up. And so you can't, but it doesn't matter. We're still going to do an episode. Is it going to be our

best episode of all time? Probably not, but it's going to be, it's, but it doesn't matter. We're still gonna do an episode. Is it gonna be our best episode of all time? Probably not, but it's gonna be recorded. It'll fulfill a contractual obligation, which is part of what we do here. And so, Hayes, he might show up, he might not. He might have a friend with him. We don't know what he's doing. We never know what he's doing, do we?

But we do have a guest, so that's, you know, almost, almost as good. And, and we've got, we've got, and I'm going to butcher this. Germy hair? Close. I mean, that's what I go by. Yeah. Yeah. Technically it's Jim O'Hare. Jim O'Hare.

Jim O'Hare. Jim. It's two separate things. And thrilled to be here to know that this is probably not going to be one of your better ones. So that's super exciting. I didn't say that. I said, is it going to be our best episode of all time?

Probably not. I'm pretty sure it won't be either. Yeah. But it was fun to drive in for this. Yeah. But we've had some really big guests. We've been on a bit of a streak. Yeah.

We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. We've had some really big guests. I'm guessing it will. I'm probably not. I'm pretty sure it won't be either. Yeah, but it was fun to drive in for this. Yeah, but we've had some really big guests. We've been on a bit of a streak. Yeah, and then. That's not, you know what I mean? It's, but like, but at the same time,

you did drive in. I did. You are here. Yeah. You were here on time. Yeah, before anyone else. Before me, yeah. And I was just on time. It's not a contest. So you guys are just late. Yeah. Yeah anyone else. Before me, yeah. And I was just on time. It's not a contest. So you guys are just late.

Yeah, yeah. But for people, and we have video, which is great, but not everyone gets to see the video. So for people who are just listening, I'm sitting across from Jim O'Hare, and he is serving cunt. Oh, with a capital C. Yeah.

Yes. And that, and that, uh, is always a pleasure when we get, you know, because we had heard, we had been warned, uh, Jim's a little bit of a diva, like gonna be doing his thing and you just got to roll with it. But I, but I'm so happy to hear that you're doing a podcast.

I wonder who had that idea. Actually, mine was the first. Yeah, it's the first one. There's been none before me. It's the first. Hey, Jim. Hey, welcome. Okay, so we do have the big man here.

Just want to check in real quick. I want you to meet the audience here. Wow, I want you to meet, meet the audience here. Wow. This will be the barometer for how this is going? This is, um, this is a web 2.0 native. Ah, okay. Uh, she, uh, is, is the type of audience member that like really, really should be in your wheelhouse, you know what I mean?

Really? Yeah. But I think as you can see, it's not taking so far. So far, I'll be honest, it's not good. It's not good. For those who can't see this, it's not good. She hasn't even looked me in the eye yet. We've got-

I don't think that's gonna help. We've got Jen Alpha in the building here. Yeah, Jen P, I call them Jen P because they are Generation Podcasts and they will be the first generation who primarily gets their news from your Parks and Rec recap podcast. Right, that's where most people get their news.

Yes. Yeah. Do you wanna say hi? Hi. Hi. Hi. Yeah. I dare you to say hi.

Not even to, and we're seeing, we're not seeing the recognition that we should be getting. This is Jerry, you know, for me it's like, this is Jerry's here. No, I'm freaking out. I'll be honest, she's almost acting like she doesn't know who I am. So this is actually what I was trying to be gentle

about getting at. Yeah. But what we see, every crisis, there's also an opportunity, isn't that right, Jim? It can be, I'm not liking the vibe though. Crisis is the latter. I'll be honest. Well, that means that the opportunity is even greater.

Wow, he's here, he's here. Exactly. And now I'm getting very much standoffish. But she's speaking for her whole cohort, which is Web 2.0 natives. But this opportunity that you have, Jim, because their whole... Tony, do you like parks?

Yeah. She does like parks? Yeah. She does like parks. So that's a huge. This is a park freak. Okay. Yeah. So right there, you're at an incredible advantage

with this cohort. And everything they all know about Jerry, about Parks and Recreation, the show is what you tell them. Wow. Yeah, this is something we did. They're gonna know the show from the recaps. We did wanna cover is like,

you're doing this recap podcast and something I've noticed is people are kind of leaving a lot on the table in terms of, let's face it, Amy Poehler ain't doing the recap. You know what I mean? So what we have here is somebody who, maybe at the time that it was being made, didn't have a super loud voice in terms of the creative

and what the story was, who can now influence, right, the way the story gets recorded for history. It's a bit of a payback how I want it to be. Okay. It wasn't how I wanted it to be for seven years. Revenge party, it's a revenge party. It's a revenge cast. Yeah.

Yes, that's what this is. And we're gonna take a break and when we come back, maybe we'll really have something going here and maybe we think about how Jerry, so right now she's not feeling yeah no that Jerry's really getting his on parks you know what I mean yeah so maybe we can figure figure something out there almost done that's right yeah yeah yeah is this wrapping up now because that would be great yeah so is this still happening it is it is wrapping up for him.

But we're still doing this. And we are gonna remain. Yeah, so what we've got here now is as we established an opportunity. And Kevin, I don't know if you have like a typical episode, like a description maybe of like one of the famous episodes from the, uh, the parks and recreation TV show.

And people are screaming at their speakers right now. Wait a minute. You're not talking about the reunion right now. Hey, yes. Jerry is sitting across from Matt Murbils. Uh, I did, I did portray Matt Murbils, the grizzle employee. Uh, people will remember that during the filming of that scene, I actually was nodding my head so much that,

and so aggressively that in the edit, there's no continuity when they cut back and forth between the conversation, that was a choice. It was a little bit of a wink to my fans at home to say like, hey, it's still just a TV show, man. Yeah. You know, and I'm not gonna change. I'm not gonna be somebody who starts doing this

all the time. Well, let me tell you just a little behind the scenes. When the word was coming, the word got on set that you were gonna be there. It was a buzz. Yeah. I forget again, what's your name? It's, you could call me the clam dog.

The clam dog. So they're like, the clam dog is going to be there. And I'm like, that cunt? Yeah. And they said, yeah. And then it was like, wow, but we've seen his other work, he can't really act or anything. And so, but I think what you did bring was what to be honest we expected mm-hmm and a lot of times that's awesome when people bring what we expect well I'd heard they knew nailed I had heard there was sometimes improv allowed on set so what I did do is one of the last takes I decided to really talk over Adam Scott. Yeah, that's how to, that's smart. Smart. That had to make an impact.

Yes. You know? And I remember even when I was leaving them saying that most of the season was going to be set in the offices. There was a whole arc in the offices. Of the Grizzle offices, yeah. Of the Grizzle company.

And so that there was a lot of potential for this character to return. Yeah. It didn't happen. But I do remember Adam, you definitely made an impression because Adam came off set one day and said, who is that piece of garbage who won't shut the fuck up? And I'm like, I don't know, he's that no one, because, you know, this is nothing against you. No one knows who you are or your name. But we were like, oh, just some asshole. But we're like, awesome. And maybe that asshole come back.

But then we all said, nah. Yeah. And it's just like a timing thing. And I was busy. I was working as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that makes sense. How many days were you on set?

How many days were you on set? Ooh? How many days were you on set? I'm going to, this is going to be now, I'm not, I've never been a big math guy. Yeah. It was definitely an hour. Yeah. Yeah. During one day.

During one day. Yeah. I remember one of the writers coming over and giving me a note and he's going, maybe try saying something like this. Mm-hmm. And he said, and so like, I remember one of the writers coming over and giving me a note and he's gone, maybe try saying something like this. And he said, and so like, I'll give you an example of he said like, uh, maybe try saying something like, Hey man, this chair is green.

And I went, okay, right, right, right. So I'll be like, I'm in the green chair and he'll go, just do, hey man, this chair is green. Yeah. And so that to me really kind of opened me up to go like, I think I know what they're looking for. Yes. Uh, and, and, and it was directed of course, by

Amy Poehler, who I did, um, get to meet. Uh. If you look her in the eye. She was looking in the mirror at herself. Yeah. And I was to her right. Yeah. Yeah.

And, um, she said to me, so your friends with Aubrey, or wait, she said, so you've worked with Aubrey before. And I said, well, she's a friend of mine. And she went, Oh, yeah. So it was a pretty powerful. It's an interaction. Oh my God.

Yes. And is that on the podcast? Did you guys talk about that exchange on the podcast yet? Here's our. We probably aren't there yet. No, no, no, we're, we're there. It, uh, the problem is like for me, I start

when I get excited and I remember that you being there and it was like, so it's all I could talk about for like a good 15, 20 seconds. Clam dogs here. I remember thinking, why are we talking about this? And so then we moved on.

But, um, now when you say friend of Aubrey, it's friends slash stalker. Like how, how are you, what is your connection to Aubrey? So it's not an active connection. No, I would imagine that. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Um, but, uh, I think there was a proximity at one point in time, you know, that sort of made it inevitable that she would have to deal with me. Now. Move, get out of my way kind of thing. it inevitable that she would have to deal with me. Now. Move, get out of my way kind of thing. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Out of my way, can you give me that back, right? She had like a water bottle or backpack or something. You know what I mean? Let me have it. Yeah, stuff like that. So that actually, and of course, as it does in this business, it's all about connections, all about how you know, it paid off,

and I'll tell you the, well I don't have to tell you, the residuals ain't bad. Oh, yes sir, yes my friend, yes. Mm-hmm. Jimmy like every three months when those checks come in. I do. What do you do with yours? Like pack a gum or what do you do? You know what?

So gum has gotten crazy these days. It has. And I think it's the layers they added. I think when it was a single layer, a pack of gum was reasonable. And now they're kind of going a little bit nuts with it. Do you get that, when you get that envelope and it says, you know, SAG-AFTRA,

then you're Taft Hartley or are you a full member? So, Taft Hartley just, and this is for people who don't know. So Taft Hartley was a guy. Nice guy, sweetheart. And what he would do is if you were going to do an acting job and sag had basically said, no, thank you. He would go, well, you still deserve

some kind of union protection. And he would basically drive you to and from set. Yeah, he was great. Just because you're learning your lines, you're in a position where you can't. And I do get car sick reading in the car, and so he did go pretty slow for me. But that one was a tafftartly job

and he's obviously no longer with us. No, no, that was a big loss. That sucked. That sucked for somebody like me too, yeah. Cause you'd been there. So, but when you get that residual check, is it like, honey, get the kids, we're going to dinner. We got, and then it's like, what, two bucks?

It's like two, yeah, two bucks over the length of, Over the year. Of, yeah. Yeah, I know, I get it. But it's not two bucks, it's not two bucks in one chat. Yeah, no, no, I see. Yeah, yeah. Please, I barely get seven figures during the year.

So I know it's not, it's not what people think. That's what I'll say. No, I know, people think, oh, you've been on TV. Well, you're in syndication, all this money. You've been on TV, you get two dollar checks every day. Yeah, and I do. But I'm just saying for people who just did the one. The one episode, yeah.

At the time, with a lot of potential to come back. Absolutely, so much potential. And there was, I remember Mike Schurur who created the show with Greg Daniels. I mean, you were the talk in the writer's room, like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? But I just always assumed it wasn't because

you had no talent that it was because your schedule was busy or you weren't available. The schedule was crazy at that time. Crazy. Yeah. What can you do if you're super busy? What else were you working on that you, you, you turned down a, a regular gig on a show

that was, you know, must see TV. No, I was, I was, um, uh, well I, I had an idea for a bird house that was going to be, this thing was going to be fucking primo, dude. The birds were going to be serving cunt in there. Wow. Ideally, like they were really going to be excited. And I didn't have a lot of woodworking experience.

And by the way, this wasn't going to be just wood because I had an idea for a porcelain toilet for the birds, which I thought also was going to, you know, if I could mass produce this thing, it would be very popular because people would think, well, now I can protect my car, you know, from some of the, from the waste. Let them go take a dump in a nice porcelain

toilet. We've never offered that to them. We've never offered that to them. It's revolutionary. Yeah. And so it was, um, it was an idea and I had, I had very little woodworking experience and I had a lot less experience working with shaping porcelain. Like that was something that,

there was a lot of trial and error. I'll bet. And a lot of band-aids. Ouch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't my best.

Where were you getting your porcelain from? You know, abandoned, uh, like, um, houses. Oh, where there was leftover porcelain. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, honestly, if you walk, if you do go for a walk in parts of like North Hollywood or

whatever, there is a toilet on the street. Yeah. Like that's not like. Not shocking at all. a toilet on the street. Yeah. No, like that's not like. Not shocking at all. Not impossible to. Yeah. And so like, you know, I thought, well, now all I gotta do is shave this down to be bird sized.

Um, I didn't turn, did not turn out to be how they do that. Uh, and so, you know, we're still in beta on that, but at the time, obviously I'm a dreamer. Yeah. I'm one of the strongest thing you can be. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

You need the dreamer. And so I did, I did kind of have eyes on that as like my primary focus of like, this is gonna what, gonna be what allows me to really say, fuck you to the, you know, the Jim O'Hairs of the world. Yeah, boy, and you did, huh? I did. Yeah.

I did. Yeah. Well, not in the way I was thinking. No. I was thinking I'd say it because I'm so successful. Right. And it's just turned out kind of the opposite. I'm just saying it just out of kind of impotent rage.

Yes. No, I get that. But let's pull out, let's look at an episode description. It could be fun to look at my episode. Yeah, I think that makes good sense. Because like, first of all, we're gonna see me in that one. You said season five for that one?

We might be closer to seven. Great. What about Grizzle Box? Yeah. It could actually be a great addition to the story and Jerry's narrative specifically. I'm actually cropped out of this image here. I'm talking to you, that actually is the scene

that I'm in. So I'm wondering if we could work in just for Gen Alpha purposes, some rice. Yeah. What do we think? So like rice? Will that give her any excitement about the fact that I'm here?

Will the rice? Well, so let's read, so this says, Leslie and Ben think Grizzle is illegally data mining Pawnee residents. Tom helps Annie to get the rights to his Johnny Karate TV character and April encourages an intern to quit the Parks Department and Matt Murbils is serving cut.

So like, so the, so that is the original description. And what, and I actually don't even hear Jerry's name in there. And so Wade's like, and Jerry is going rice mode on the office break room. And Jerry's name in there. And so way it's like, and Jerry is going rice mode on the office. And Jerry's serving rice. And Jerry's serving rice. Yeah.

Right. Or should have been. But now it is. But maybe now it is. So now are we changing the narrative here? Jerry. Yes. What were you guys talking about?

I thought, have you been explaining this to him? Like what? I can't, I just been getting my ass handed to me for a lot of it. But basically. You know what he is? Word my parents use is he's simple. And it's not a bad thing.

Again, what's your name again? Things get too complicated. I keep forgetting, what's your name again? Yeah, too complicated. I keep forgetting, what's your name again? Yeah, I don't wanna say it because you're gonna butcher it. Oh. You're gonna butcher it. I feel like this is revenge. No, no, no, no,

because he actually didn't know my name when I got here, which was a little uncomfortable, but then we figured it out and I explained my name. Okay. It's not too difficult, but Jim O'Hare. What did he say it was? Big Jim, it was like a Mar- Garbled. Well, Matt Marbles.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is the character. I mean, this is Matt Marbles. I was in character as Marble Mouth Matt. Just what I'm thinking, like, again, just to reiterate what we were talking about earlier, all they know is what you tell them.

That's true. Nobody's, if they, if they remember what happened in the episode, they wouldn't have to tell them. That's true. You know what I mean? If they remember what happened in the episode, they wouldn't have to listen to your, no offense. Oh, absolutely none of that's taken. Yeah, no, no, believe me, why they're giving me a hundred grand an episode to do a podcast, it's just still amazing to me just to relive.

That's what we're pulling from this, huh? And we're doing pretty similar numbers to that. Yeah. I gotta check the new contract. The new one we gotta look at again. The terms and it's amortized and different with, but like we're netting pretty close to a hundred or some number of thousand dollars

and some number of money for sure. I would imagine. For sure. We're just doing the show. I mean, Kevin's gotta get paid. Kevin, uh. He's on that road. Yes.

He's on that path. Yeah. Kevin, I've been saying, Kevin's got to get paid. When I sit down with some of the brass here, I go, Hey. Kevin's got to get paid. This man's gotta get paid. Yeah. And whether it's in rice and you can have this rice, don't worry.

So it's not gonna be, he's not gonna get this rice. Yeah, no that's Tony's. Yes, yes, that's right. Did you say almost done? Yeah. Can you say hi, Jerry? Can you say hi, Jerry? Hi, Tony.

Say hi, Jerry. Hi, Tony. You can call him Jim too. But we gotta build the Jerry brand. But I like what you guys are saying. I never really thought about that. I can change. If I, during this recollection it can be whatever. So really it could be, can we bring up that description again? We said it a couple times.

We're changing it in IMDB? That's good. I think that is what we should be doing. Kevin, do you make the change in IMDB who does that that's me okay if you would change this quickly yeah and how about Jerry Jerry who we all know is hung like a horse I'm sorry Tony she likes horses. She likes horses, yeah. Yeah. Takes down his beautiful wife, Gail, in front of his daughters. That's the episode. Almost done. We'll be right back. That's the episode.

Well, that's actually a very powerful concept. Yeah. Just, oh yeah. Well, at completion, when Jerry and Gail are completing their lovemaking, the children throw rice on them as if they've just, you know, like a nuptial type of experience.

Yeah. So then we've included the rice. Yeah. He's, yeah, in a way he's renewing his vow to constantly bust. Constantly busting, yeah, in a way he's renewing his vow to constantly bust. Constantly busting, yeah. Yeah, I like, you know what, I never thought about this. Well, this is, yeah, you could have thought about it

when I initially explained it to you 25 minutes ago. To be honest, have a listen to a word you said since I walked in the door. That's clear. So I can't help you. You remember, I didn't get your name right. I can't help you there. Uh, so that, so I think we do want to, um,

get Jerry going here because what we have here is there's only two different kinds of people that'll listen to your show. There's people like Tony. Yeah. We may be losing. I think we're losing. I'll be, I don't like to say it, but I

think we are losing Tony. Well, I don't like to say it. I don't, are losing Tony. Well, I don't like to say it. I don't like you to have to hear it, but it's what's happening. But there's Tony who's almost done, you know? And then there's also, there's people like Kevin, people like me who like, yeah, I guess we watched the show, but we had a lot going on.

Yeah, you're busy. Yeah, I can tell. It was loud. Yeah. You know, got a chunk of porcelain shrapnel sticking out of our, you know, forearm or something. Yeah. We're just, we're not necessarily paying attention

to every word. Yeah. And so when you, who were there, come in and tell me. Lived it, I lived it. Yeah, and go, hey, actually, this is the one where, you know, yet again, Jerry was blasting chicks, zapping babes, you know? I go, oh, right, well, I do remember being entertained,

and that certainly sounds like something that would. And now this memory, my memory becomes yours. Mm-hmm, so I think that's cool. And now, now this memory, my memory becomes yours. So I think that's cool. The other thought I had just in terms of like how to really get your podcast and tell me the name of it again, I'm going to butcher it. Yeah, no, no, no, I know you will. So I will say it, uh, it's called Parks and Recollection. So what we've done is we've taken like Parks

and Recreation, which is the name of the show. And we're had a little fun with it. And we now we call Parks and recollection. We're recalling the show and then what we do in the show, we'll do like the synopsis of an episode, the synopsis. Because the. Leslie Knope was a character that Amy Poehler played. Yup. Yup. The snopesis. Because the- Leslie, nope was a character that Amy Poehler played.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's smart as hell. That actually is fucking me up a little bit. Is it? Yeah. She's got her name in the award. Um, and you're, and so, so Alan Yang and Rob Lowe. Yeah. They began it. They began this Parks and Rec

Election podcast. But. And this is an. Pardon? Upgrade or. Yes. Okay. Pardon? Upgrade or?

Yes. Okay. We, they do, we, the powers that be, they do research. These guys weren't. They do research. These guys weren't bringing it. Well, visually Rob wasn't bringing it. He just.

What's going on with him? You know what I'm saying? He didn't have, you know, you want to get all, you want the chicks to be listening, you want everything. Sweet kid listening, you want everything. Sweet kid, but you want- You gotta bring him something. Yeah, we need a little bit of- You got a little candy, eye candy.

A little bit of sex appeal. Exactly. Because we are, you know, we want people to listen. For the record, not knocking Rob, he looks how he looks. Phenomenal actor. Wonderful actor. And you can't help that stuff. But basically it's no secret when somebody's listening to their podcast, they want to get a

little bit juiced up downstairs. You told me. You know, because it's like a lot of times you're in your car. I want some, I want some slipping and sliding in their car, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah. And I think, listen to this, when I do this,

what do you think of this voice? What do you think? You think any woman listening to this voice right now isn't like, and there's a little activity going on downstairs because what's he thinking? What's he going to do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the gift that they needed to to they needed to have that and it was a bye Rob. Bye Alan Mm-hmm. Let's get Jim O'Hare. See if you can make this work. Tell your story, walk in, Yang. Yeah. Yeah, tell your story, walk in, Yang. God that's fun. That's fucked up and I and I hope and I hope those guys land on their feet I hope cuz you gotta feel a little guilty, right? Yeah little. I have offered he hasn't taken me up on it. I said, Rob, my yard, I have a bit of a estate, someone call it a manor, whatever.

That lawn needs to be cut and someone's gonna get paid to do it. So if it needs to be you, feel free, but he hasn't gotten back to me because I don't want him to all of a sudden, he's out of a job, what's he gonna do? Yeah, that is a challenge. Yeah.

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I was almost like, hmm, when am I gonna use Rocket Money again? And the answer is as soon as Kevin gets his nasty gingerade mitts onto my computer. He subscribed me, but I don't wanna go through all of them. But there are a lot of, one is clouds that look exactly like you know what, and it has the thingies on them too. I couldn't believe this, and I gotta say say I think the photos were doctored. There's

no way those were natural clouds. Another one was zendononline.com. I can't be too mad about that. And of course he had this like songs that sound like chicks when they you know what and it's like again i think they did some kind of sweetening on the sound because it didn't sound like singing at all it just sounded like you know what so anyway i i i'm paying through the nose for all these things he subscribed to him on my computer i guess because he got blocked out of his. And then he's like, I guess going to have to borrow it again so he can look at these things. But Rocket Money bailed me out.

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Wow. You know what I mean? On the Parks and recollection podcast? That's interesting. I'm just saying like, so it's like, you know, whatever, uh, Jerry's apt a bunch of chicks. Like, uh, you know, Jerry was getting down. Um, he was hitting it right. And straight up stroking.

Meanwhile, Dwight brought a gun to the office. Like Dwight had a fucking gun. And then like now, now all of a sudden I'm getting so much positive engagement here because I'm remembering a couple of things. I'm remembering a show that was massively popular. Yeah. I'm remembering Jerry hitting it, right? Hitting it.

Boom, boom. And also I'm having people reevaluate some of these office episodes and go like, I think maybe that was bad that Dwight was bringing a gun all the time. True. I think that like, in terms of like where our culture is at in this country, that maybe that shouldn't have been what we were doing on

primetime TV. Yeah. Um, so it's like, it, it's kind of funneling people possibly to the alternative to parks and rec at the same time. Or is it, and some could say funneling it away. Yeah, or we could, yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.

What you may want to do- Okay, for the record, Tony walked in, looked at me, and immediately started crying. That was a no-go. Wow. She must be related to me, because that's how my family treats me. Let's check on how things are going in here.

Yeah. The children throw rice on them. That's nice. Yes, it was sweet. Very stony. Once we had, we always orgasm together. That's really nice. She had one suggestion just for branding purposes.

Jim Oak. So, you know, that's more her generation. Yeah. Can you toss our keys? Thank you. This is without a doubt the classiest setup I've ever been a part of and I'm here for it. Yeah, well there's not, you know, there's not a lot of shows that will actually let you be face to face with your target audience. Yeah, which is scary and exciting. We do this stuff into a vacuum, right? Yeah. We record these things.

We don't know who's listening. We don't know how they're reacting. I think I do. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it's something you have to worry about. Because some people, like, when we do ours, we have to look at, because this people like, when we do ours,

we have to look at, because this demographic is huge and this demographic is huge, blah, blah, blah. You don't have any of those worries, which must be nice. Yeah, no. There's no demographic that's like, well, we love that show. It's just different. Yeah, we don't, yeah.

No, because like a lot of times, what we say is, lot of times what we say is, um, you remember how, uh, Rick Rubin would tell you the audience comes last. Have you heard this? This guy's some kind of creative guru genius and this, and he's full of quotables and he'll kind of be, you know, he'll be there when somebody with a lot of ability is doing something and he'll kind of go, you know, he'll be there when somebody with a lot of ability is doing

something and he'll kind of go, say that again. And then afterwards he'll go, the audience comes last. And so we've actually internalized that philosophy and taking it a step further to where the audience doesn't come at all. Yeah. You know what I mean?

We come first, second and third, you know, unlike Jerry and his, and his partner here, who simultaneously are finishing. We don't let our audience ever finish. Yeah. We want to keep them kind of hovering in this space of, uh, discomfort where we'd actually believe that the job of theater and art is to challenge, is to shake them up.

And then what I would extend it to, because I think I had a feeling actually that you weren't loving necessarily the office idea. I'm not against it. I see where you were going with it. Cause it really, why does Dwight have a gun? Here's what I think could actually be even cooler.

Talk about the office ladies. Wow. Recap the office ladies. Recap a recap show. Parks and recollection of the office ladies. Parks and recollection recaps the office ladies recapping the office. So, and so this would be, meanwhile, Dwight brought a gun to the office.

Meanwhile, Angela Kinsey remembered having a cold. Yeah. And Jenna did an ad for Casper mattresses. And we would talk about that, you're saying. I, I would love it. I mean, is there a, let me take your temperature because we do like to check in every now and then. Reckless or orally? I'm not opposed to either one. Yeah. I love to be thorough. so I always try to do both. But I wanna see, I feel like I've been driving the bus

on what your show's gonna be. You kinda have been, yeah, right off the cliff. And I think that maybe what I'm pushing for who Jerry And I think that maybe what I'm pushing for like who Jerry becomes in these recaps isn't what you envisioned for it. And I wanna say knowing that you basically can make it anything. Yeah.

What are you passionate about? What do you love? Wow, what do I love? What gets you passionate about? What do you love? Wow, what do I love? What gets you, what gets you out of bed? And don't say money. Well then let's wrap this up now, because that's the fucking answer. You fucking bitch.

That's the fucking answer. No, but. Money. Okay, so maybe Jerry's flexing on him. Like maybe a lot of the recap is about what brands he's wearing, right? Yeah. Like maybe- Jerry or Jim? Probably Jerry.

It is a Parks and Rec Collection. Do you want it to be Jim? Well- Like this next episode of Parks and Rec Collection, do we just subtly shift it to like, Jim O'Hare was dripped out to the fucking gills. Like this guy walked in and you start describing like the fits you were getting off in the episode. And maybe that leads to some packages showing up on the doorstep.

Oh, it has happened. You know what I mean? I mean, look at me now. You're like, wow, he's really rocking everything he's got on. It's a flex. It's a flex. It's a bit of a flex. Yeah.

The white socks. Right. The. And those things go all the way up. All the way up. Yeah. And then if I, if, and this is a trend that I think should get more popular as I slide them

down, you can see the creases in my skin from the tightness of the sock. That's called water retention, which I think should become more popular. I think that's a- Well, what's, I mean, what is sexual, right? In terms of like the things that we find aesthetically appealing on people's bodies, ultimately it's a bulge.

A very kind, a kankle. Well this is what I'm saying. Yes. There's certain bulges we've decided are, you know, incredibly sensual. Right. And there's so much left out there to explore and what you're doing is you're now, you are creating a new bulge for us to fetishize. And I think that it's groundbreaking.

You're really a pioneer of human sexuality. It's been said, sure. And so what we could do is brand some parks and recollection, you know, bulge socks, wristbands, right? I could just imagine some excess forearm skin kind of swelling over the edge of a- A two-site band on my arm with the bulge on each side of it, because it's constricting my arm because of the extra water.

Oh, because yeah. Well, and by the way. I gotta tell you, I'm a little chubbed up right now. Well, and what else. Speaking of bulges. And what else is sensual, right? Bulges and as you just said, moisture. Moisture.

Is there any, you know, is there any aspect of human sexuality that doesn't involve some kind of fluid and some kind of swollen bulge? I would venture to say no. Yeah. Um, Oh, I just thought of one, but it's the exception that proves the rule because it's the fact that there's only one

means that that's really not gonna be where we find our next level of this thing. So Kevin, Jim, okay, meanwhile, Jim's rocking his bulge socks yet again. Everyone loves it and his horny to. Oh, OK. I wish the backspace work. You can't backspace. I haven't got.

The. IMDb doesn't have that feature. No. Wow. Can I also say like, and I think maybe I was too limiting at the point that I brought in the office. Is there any reason some of these star wars guys can't be running around in here? Like that's a huge franchise. That is huge.

Like Luke, I am not your father. Why can't James Earl Jones be here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that him? I think it might've been. Okay. It was feeling Arnold-esque. Yeah. No, no.

I'm a master of the impersonation. So I'll do it again. Luke, I am not your father. Okay. And now, now that I know what to listen for, yeah, it is. Yeah. That's, that's Jim.

One Jim to another. Who's this? Hey, Princess Leia. Oh, that's gotta be Chewbacca. That's Chewbacca. Yeah. It's a gift. It's really crazy.

But it's. You can't see his face looks the same. And the voice that goes out of his like, wait, where'd Jim go? Yeah. You know? So Luke, I'm not your father says Jim Earl Jones. And what I'm feeling really is,

is there any reason that we can't combine these, Kevin, to make it feel a little more cohesive? Because it is a little segmented now where we have the Jerry story, we have the office kind of paragraph. We have the office ladies section. What if it's, okay, Jenna didn't add for Jim's bulge socks.

didn't add for Jim's bulge socks. The damn thing made Darth Vader's light saber go shooting across the room. If you know what I mean. And I think I do. And he's, and Luke and Luke wasn't his father. Um, you do it better than me. Or Angela wasn't. Angela wasn't Luke's father.

Wasn't Luke's father. Angela wasn't Luke's father. Yeah, boy this. Sign it, Parks and Recollection. Sign it, love Parks and Recollection. I work with the Conan network, the Team Coco. And I'm gonna bring all this to them. I'm going from here to there.

You should bring him next time. Yeah, no, no. You should bring him next time. Yeah. You should bring Conan next time. Yeah. Like he'd walk in this door. You should get him. Um, we'll come to him. Yeah. Yeah. They have security there. But, uh, what I'm saying is, uh, these are all, this is all stuff. Like I'm bringing this. I like, this is going to change everything that's happening over there. Tell him this. Yeah. This is going to change everything happening at happening over there. Send this, tell him this, yes. This is gonna change everything happening at Team Coco. Uh-huh.

Yeah. Should I read it from the top before we submit it? Okay. Jerry, who we all know is hung like a horse, takes down his beautiful wife, Gail, in front of his daughters. At completion, when Jerry and Gail complete their love making their children throw rice on them.

As sort of Nuptial's experience, he's renewing his vows by constantly busting. Meanwhile Dwight brought a gun to the office. Meanwhile Angela Kinsey remembered having a cold and did an ad for Casper mattresses. Get it right Kevin. Meanwhile Angela Kinsey remembered having a cold and Jenna did an ad for Casper mattresses. Meanwhile Jim's rocking his bulge socks yet again. Everyone loves it and his horny too. Luke I am NOT your father says Jim Earl Jones. Jenna did an ad for Jim's bulge socks. The damn thing made Darth Vader's lightsaber go shooting

across the room if you know what I mean. And Angela wasn't Luke's father. Love, parks, and recollection. And then put, sorry, Yang. So. That's the best part. Sorry, Yang. Maybe a frowny face too. Well, he can't delete believe he can't go backward because we're in some primitive world in here.

That one worked. It's I am me. Emojis work. You know what I mean? So in terms of just the quib pro quo of all this, I've had some input on your show. Yeah. What do you think we should be doing over here? Because let's face it, we're most of the way through this episode and what we have is not working. No, this has been, yeah, I would say not good. Yeah, it's unpleasant.

Yeah. And I would say not good. Yeah. It's unpleasant. It's been incredibly unpleasant. Yeah. That I will say, uh, I w I mean, you want my advice, I get one podcast or two, another on what you, this show should do.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, the first word that comes to mind is retool. Um, and the other word is, uh, it was kind of two words, but I guess it could be one shut down. And so maybe you shut down and you retool. Uh, but I, I don't know where you'd go from there.

Even, um, let's say that, let's say that was, let's say that was not an option. Cause you probably need this 50 bucks. Yes. And again, Hayes has said like it's the money's amortized in these different ways. It's hard to really see what you're making.

Yeah. It's tough. The head gum doesn't make it easy to kind of track the exact numbers. Um, uh, and it's all, you know, and it's all Greek to me, uh, but, uh. Do you work outside of this or this is, um, I work outside.

Yeah. Other than porcelain and, and, and, and, you know, your creative activities, do you do an outside job that pays money or this is what you're living off? Well, these are two different questions. Okay. There's like, do I work outside of this?

And then there's like, is there a job that pays money? Right. Is it, you don't, money's not the only way to get paid. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, there is, but I guess the answer to both is no. But it's still, but we still wanna be careful

with our language, right? Sure. Um, but I, I do think like, yeah, shutting down and retooling, um, even, I think if we even missed a single release, we would never recover the small audience we do have. Yeah.

Like I think just what we do have going for us, our greatest strength right now is consistency. Um, and beyond that, uh, I think whatever we're going to have to do is going to have to be done on the fly. Yeah. So. I noticed we didn't stop for commercials.

Yeah. So is that a thing where someone actually sponsors or. It's in the works. Oh, it's in the works. So that's coming down the pike. That's been a, that is a big conversation. Yeah, I'll bet. That will be, oh, that's a game changer for us. Yeah.

When those start to trick for us. Yeah. When those start to trickle in. Yeah. Brother. Once you get yourself a betterhelp.com, you're going to be, then you'll know you're there. Then you'll know you're there. Yeah. We have, we, right now we have worse help.

Yeah. So worse. Yeah, Kevin's a mess. Yeah. Worse help, worse help has like, and they're in, they're in beta, but they, they're not financially, you know, paying us to advertise, but we do mention them every episode.

And then Kevin has a series of sessions that he's been doing with them. Uh, and we've been watching him deteriorate pretty actively. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of get in there. It's like he every once in a while wept. with them and we've been watching him deteriorate pretty actively. Yeah.

Kind of get in there. It's like every once in a while wept. Is that, does that happen every time? That's getting better actually. Oh, it is. It has, we have gotten it down to once in a while. Yeah. It was just, everyone's why I looked over and he just looked. It used to be a start to finish thing for us.

Yeah. But I'll tell you, I, I tell you, I'm an optimist. And for me, this whole setup here, my glass is, well, not half full, but there's some stuff in it. Yeah. There's some condensation on the rim of the glass. There's moisture. Again, boy, moisture seems to be a theme. There's moisture in this glass. And that's enough to say that you should really just, you know what? Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah.

I mean, you won't have much of a life or a career, but it will be something to keep you off the streets for an hour every once in a while. Yeah. I mean, it is like we, Kevin and I have a little practice of gratitude that we do during this show where we do wrap it up and we say, we'll get them next time. Yeah. Hey, this didn't work out, but there's-

We're due, right? And then we'll say, let's look practically at what really happened. We both got to sit in a chair in an air conditioned room. Yeah. That you're not paying for? And not everybody gets that. Well. Yeah, not, well.

Oh, so you guys rent the space. Okay. Well, it's a, yeah. Okay, I get it. I get it. I mean, it's, yeah. Yeah, but. I get it. Yeah, it's. Oh. It's all amortized, like, in this crazy way.

Again, and you're not good with numbers. Speaking of, we have to leave the studio now. Oh God. What? Oh, bye. That was a hate gum podcast.