Hollywood Handbook - Joe Pera, Our 10th Anniversary Friend
Episode Date: October 3, 2023The Boys talk to JOE PERA about hosting the Hollywood Handbook 10th anniversary party. Check out Joe’s new special this Friday on YouTube.See all the brand new Hat Pack merch including... XL-3XL flat brim hats HERE!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast. Yep. Yep. Should I put them on? Wait, sorry. They were tied on. Are you wearing shoes or not?
No.
No.
Should you want me to put them on for the podcast?
No, no.
We can take ours off.
It's fine.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll lose mine as well.
That's no big thing.
We want everybody to be comfy.
So if you're comfy, we'll be comfy.
Yeah, feel good.
What are you?
Copper fit.
Brand sucks. they're real good yeah what are you um copper fit brand socks these are uh these babies aren't for everybody you know what i mean these are for top performance athletes like you get these so these
aren't sold so at target they sell socks obviously in the clothing section but then separately in the athletic section where they have
sports rackets things like that there is a second set of socks and that that's not for people who
are just buying their clothes that's for people who are about to engage in competition of some kind
nice you heard of copperheads like the snake copperhead snake last last thing you'll
ever heard of probably that's how venomous you read any barbara kingsolver what barbara
kingsolver you ever read any of her novels no i think one of them's called copperhead i think
one's called copperhead oh yeah that would be that
would be very funny if there were a number of books where people got bit by copperheads and
that's just uh just an author who thematically keeps circling around it's a section it's like
the traumatic event in every one of their novels yeah and you just i would keep buying Because I'd be like, when and who
Is going to get bit by a copperhead
It would be
Yeah, that would be good
I would get into those books
If that happens
What are you
Stepping at in these days, what kind of shoes you wear
I got a pair
Of hiking boots I was wearing
Yesterday because it was raining in the city.
Okay.
What, Merrells?
What are we talking about?
Brand.
Columbia?
What do you mean?
No, I needed to keep my feet dry while I was on the road one time,
so I went to the store and tried on a pair of the oboes.
Oboes?
Yeah, they were a little pricey.
Yeah, those are like $800, $900.
Those shoes are like $1,000 each.
Yeah, I had to take out a loan.
I had to do at the store.
It was like a car dealership for the oboes.
But they were one of the, honestly, I don't want to pitch a brand,
but they were probably the best investment I made in the past couple years. Yeah. To have some. Yeah, they were one of the, honestly, I don't want to pitch your brand, but they were probably the best investment I made in the past couple of years.
Yeah.
They have some,
yeah,
they're my feet are dry.
You have to sell just for full disclosure.
Like you have to pitch the shoes out cause you have to sell a bunch of pairs to
make your,
you're in a situation where you need 15 other people to buy oboes just to break
even right now.
Yes.
Yes.
Not only did I have to take out the loan but i
had to yeah start a multi-level marketing scheme for oboes it's it's that's that's that's sort of
a dirty word a little bit these days just because of the way people have portrayed like not all
mlms are created equal there are some that are scams and there are some that actually present opportunities
to not only introduce people to great products,
like the Oboe boots, which I, you know,
I'm also a huge fan of.
People need shoes to live.
It's like your feet were actually about to get,
like, extremely wet, as you said.
And by the way, the industry, it's like,
oh, the strike's over,
so nobody needs a side
hustle anymore. That's just not the
case. It hasn't been ratified,
the deal, and
we still do
not really
understand the landscape of what this business
is going to look like, and so you selling
oboes, I think, on our
podcast is commendable.
Thank you. Jobos.
Oh, that's good. I mean. Jobos. Oh, that's good.
I mean.
Jobos.
Oh, Jobos.
If you're going to pitch a product,
I guess there are worse things to try and sell
than something comfortable for people's feet.
Yeah, there's a couple.
You can't.
I know Hayes said Jobos, and I said it too,
but you can't call them Jobos
because those are the Trader Joe version of oboes that yeah that are for sale right now trader jobos they
and you don't you don't make it i'm frozen you don't make it 10 years
that's another good idea i should i should just write a pace we're talking i should write j
apostrophe i should buy the oboes right j apostrophe oboes on the side of the boot and
then try and resell them for five ten dollars more and uh just do a little markup and yeah
yeah i don't yeah yeah but then you don't have your shoes anymore at that point remember like you needed your shoes in the first place your feet were gonna get wet
we're gonna get wet and now you've sold them now unless that was all bullshit yeah no no i'll get
i'll keep those for my own self but i'll go out buy another pair of Jesus and then okay right
right the j on the side i'd do a seed round first, get some venture capital involved
just so you could get the inventory established
because I don't want you to be out of pocket for a bunch of jobos
before we've proven that the model works.
That's true.
I don't even know where I would go to start to ask for venture capital money.
Why don't you pitch Kevin right now?
I mean, he comes from a sort of an insurance dynasty.
Generational wealth.
And he's here right now, Chef Kevin.
And I think maybe I know he's wearing a Tree TV shirt,
which you might think, oh, he put that on because of me.
It's like, no, he wears it every other day.
That's nice.
It's either this or a cigarette brand.
Yeah.
They're comfortable products.
It feels like, you know, just write Jobo's Tree TV Edition boots on the side and then sell them.
That's a lot of stuff.
Yes.
On the shoe.
Just basically sell stuff to Kevin.
Maybe for freaking Shaq, you could fit all that stuff on there.
That would be good. Man, you imagine Shaq in a could fit all that stuff on there. That would be good.
Man, you imagine Shaq
in a pair of Oboz hiking boots.
Proving he can still dunk.
Yeah, that would be good.
Dunking on wet roads.
Dunking on rocky trails.
That would be really fucking awesome. i don't know exactly what i mean
but like if someone if a good like visual artist could illustrate that for me
yeah i what is your guys's stance on ai because i'm sure you could put that into one of the
it's tool like anything else it's tool it's tool and if you could put that into one of the AI images. It's a tool like anything else.
It's a tool.
We don't want the students to use it.
If you think writers aren't going to be using AI,
it's a tool.
It's a tool for human creativity.
It can't do anything itself.
It needs a prompt created
by a human to say something
like, show me
a nice picture make me some money right now yes just
porno you just type in write me a story in the style of porno you know type in a six a six hour
porno you just type that in and so that's an idea that that's actually a human came up with
that right they didn't have that before they didn't have a porno that was six hours long
create me a six hour animated porno prohibitively expensive beforehand it was crazy it was crazy
even with digital film it was like really which by the, I don't like to use, I don't
want to get in too much.
I don't like to use digital for my porno because I think there is a mental pressure exerted
on the performers knowing that we are running out of physical film that creates a sort of internal drive to get it right.
And if you don't have that and it's so loosey-goosey,
and you're like, maybe I'll come.
You can hear it in the gate.
You can hear it when the film really starts to get thick in the gate.
This is our last shot at this, guys.
Yeah.
And I think you get people's best work when there's something closing in on them versus
just like, man, maybe we'll do it again.
So I don't shoot any of my porno on digital.
And now I don't shoot it at all.
I just type it into AI, which is a great tool.
And he has the boom too, kind of swooping down on the oh yeah i get the boom too close it's popping them on
the head you know i go the boom guy's arms are getting tired you're taking too long are you do
you do the camera and the boom yeah i call when i say the boom guy i'm referring to myself yeah
which is like and his arms aren't getting tired.
I mean, like, you could see, like, you'd think those are,
it's like, he's good.
Right, Joe?
But it's to create that sense of impending disaster.
You like that?
Yeah.
They're not getting tired, man.
That looks good.
Yeah, six hours would be a long time
even for you i'm sure to keep the boom mic going yeah no i uh i do have to admit they do get pretty
tired i i mean i guess i'm a lot of bluster today joe no no it's fine you just i mean even
i think i just really wanted to impress you with
how long i could hold the boom mic and looking back uh i don't know what we do in terms of
editing this episode because like it's really heavy for me and i pretty quickly you know uh
even just me implying that the reason i'm bopping the performers on the head with it is to kind of spur them to get finished.
It's just happening because I just can't hold it that long.
This is a very good conversation for me. I've never seen a porno
before, so this is, I'm just interested.
You would love it. You would love it. It can be
so cool to watch i mean and it's where you know
we're animals human beings are animals you ever watch animals have sex no okay all right all right
we might want to start there that that's porno porno. So, like, you've never seen porno? You've never seen any of that?
Yeah.
No, I'll consider checking it out sometime.
Yeah, just whatever.
Bugs.
It's not a guest.
You've just never seen it.
A fly lands on you, and you go, like, oh, it's a big fly.
And you go, no, it's two of them.
They're fucking.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen the insects doing it before.
Dragonflies.
Yeah.
Okay, that's great.
Yeah.
I got pretty good imagination.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think some of where we're coming from today is not being sure of exactly how much to celebrate ourselves.
It's just another episode.
It's just a we got joe we're so
excited to have joe like you know like hear about the clothes that he wears and stuff like that but
like i it's also kind of special for us that like we have been doing this now when this episode
comes out for 10 years 10 year You know, I've called up
I called up Scott Aukerman this morning.
I don't know if you guys are friends,
but I called him up and I said,
I said, hey,
so just be careful what you say
because Joe and Scott are really good friends.
Well, Scott will know.
Yeah, he was part of this conversation.
I did call him up and I said,
hey man, it's a big one today.
We're going to record it and it's been 10
years and he said okay do it again do it again that's cool he's seen him do it again congratulations
oh stop stop i'm humiliated don't make this big a deal out of it.
How many podcasts are there that have gone all 10 years?
Kevin.
Kevin.
I think just Comedy Bang Bang.
Yeah.
And this one.
Yeah.
Wow.
Congratulations.
That's pretty good.
Did you ever do Comedy Bang Bang?
No.
I don't do that.
You said no?
No, I don't do too many podcasts.
I don't know Scott or anybody.
Okay.
Well, he takes a lot of credit for your success.
Because like we were doing our, you know, like I said, we've seen him come and go.
We kind of watched you hit the scene.
And like, you know, we're hanging out with Scott.
And Scott is, has this kind of, he was like, yeah, Joe, like I made him.
And I can degrade him yeah that's what he like that was like his kind of attitude towards you whether or not you actually know him i guess he
feels like he made you well and that he and that he could degrade you as well all right i'll have
to think on that that uh you don't have to you don't have to i don that. You don't have to. You don't have to. I honestly don't think there's anything for you to do.
Like, I don't.
Scott's going to Scott, you know.
Yeah.
He made us, and he's definitely out of hand.
He has definitely degraded us.
Yeah.
Where do you get?
That's his porno.
The podcast, the 10-year podcast, people hang out regularly.
You, Markerman, maybe podcast, people hang out regularly.
You, Ackerman, maybe Rogan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rogan's closing in.
Yes. Rogan's closing in.
He's getting close.
He's right behind us.
We can feel his very quick little footsteps.
You know, his reps didn't want any piece of the podcast
when he started that thing up.
They wanted nothing to do with it.
He's laughing now.
He's laughing now.
So fucking stupid.
And I tell all business people I interact with, I go, hmm, you didn't really want to be involved with Hollywood Handbook, did you?
Yeah.
You didn't really want to get in. Now we've got the hat you yeah you didn't really want to get in now we got the hat pack by the way we should send you a hat joe i'd love to see you
in one of these things but we got so much going on now and it's just like so fucking stupid so
pathetic and what did they invest in instead right tesla you know shit like that their mistake i'm laughing all the way to the bank not the
not the bank itself i'm laughing in the studio and the studio and then back will lead to the
yeah i'm going back home but yeah after this i'll be laughing my way back home i'll be laughing my
way back home to try to figure out what's next no i mean 10 years is a big marker you have to yeah it's a perfect
time to quit it's a perfect time to go to 100 that's right it's interesting you bring up that
it's a perfect time to quit yeah because we have these hats we are sort of wondering if like if
if the hats are needing a little bit more of our time and attention.
Mm-hmm.
If the podcast now is pulling away from the hat.
And I noticed you were at least noticing the hat area.
When I sat down, you did immediately ask if that was my real hair.
And maybe, like, and I wonder if that's, like,
the hat drawing your attention in a way you didn't know
exactly what was so compelling to you or it definitely makes the hat look cooler i'm sorry
i thought you were in the little zoom screen i thought you were sean and i thought sean had
grown his hair out so i was like wow is it really really full-size. And I have before. And I have before.
So there's no.
Really?
You guys ever wonder what would happen if you had your hair grown out at the same time?
It's kind of a zero-sum game.
When Hayes gets a haircut, mine will start to grow.
I cut mine again.
His gets longer.
The podcast would just get too powerful.
And we have to be conscious of that, too.
If we go too much longer, does it become something that gets away from us?
You know what I mean?
Or do we just become such a target?
Yes.
Right now, we're in a sweet spot.
No one's really coming at us because they don't know about us.
That's not true.
It's not a good target.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to put a big-ass target on my back.
This is the place to announce stuff.
This is the place for controversy.
Well, it's speaking of.
I get it.
It's speaking of.
Message received.
And I had heard how Joe kind of does this.
No.
He just wants to get to.
He just wants.
And Joe, and trust me,
and joe and trust me kevin will actually put something in the episode description and he may even plug in a little sometimes he likes to talk before the episode he goes like here's what i
thought about during the episode the guys didn't really throw to me to see what was going on but
i was kind of wondering and he'll just kind of plug in all his like takes on what happened um so he'll he'll
mention your special but why don't why don't we announce the special i i saw it on um one of these
social media sites and there's i can't keep track of them anymore face stink or whatever the you know all the there's so many there's so many places you
gotta post stuff now it's crazy it's crazy you do your own uh posting yeah of course
so you're on there yeah unfortunately people message you you read everything huh
definitely not i mean i try i try i got an email account i try and read the
emails that people send but a lot of yeah i just started to do tiktok and it's um it's a i just
post i do a post and then it's like it's uh look this is guys like dommer this is guys dommer
because it's all younger stuff it's younger people who have only seen
Dahmer on Netflix
DMs, Dahmer messages
pretty much
just a lot of Dahmer comments lately
so I'm trying to
not read stuff on there
that'll die down
and also
you know
I'm from a little bit of an older generation.
And I don't think of you that way.
I don't.
I think if you know both you and Dahmer, as I obviously do, there's a lot of distinctions.
People say they can't tell our voices apart.
This is still going on.
Really?
And I got to say, Joe, he didn't get in trouble for uh not being good looking
you know i mean actually a little bit of what got him into trouble yes indeed so it wasn't uh people
are sort of coming at you from that angle they might be trying to like say a little something like the man was playing daddy yeah the fact is if he wasn't pulling none
of this happens so just it's cold comfort but comfort nonetheless i appreciate it i feel like
the dommer show is kind of his own there's dommer and how he talked and looked and then there's dommer show which
is not quite how he from the little bit that i seen they made them like they're trying to make
him a little bit too hunky he's got like biceps bulging and it's like people don't work out like
that and when dommer was in his prime he didn't quite sound that way. So I feel like Did you go in for it, Joe?
I'm sort of
what I'm hearing a little bit is
these grapes
are starting to taste a little bit sour.
Yeah.
No, no, no. I just don't like
being compared to that guy.
But I feel like they made it a little bit
sexy. Like the Dahmer shows
it gives off like sexy vibes
and it's a little bit gross if you ask me.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't find it sexy,
but then I've watched actual porno,
which we've established you haven't.
So when I watched that,
it seemed like just like kind of creepy.
That's sexy to me.
The porno?
Porno, yes.
AI six hour porno is to be sexy. That's what I consider to be sexy is porno porno yes a ai six hour porno is that's what i consider to be sexy is and it's
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and you so as you are posting a special something very special yeah we're doing it on the on on youtube putting up a special on
october 6th still kicking man youtube's seeing them come and go as well youtube's a comedy bang
bang oh yeah video sites because they've been here 10 years plus is comedy bang Bang your big rival, or are you guys trying? I heard you guys said you, I shouldn't say this,
but before we were talking,
and you said you were going to kill the guys from Smartless.
Well, I think if we kill two of the guys from Smartless
and then we leave one alive to go and tell all the other podcasts what we did,
tell them what they saw here today, I think that's probably the move.
That's the cold-blooded Hollywood handbook way.
That's a good business move.
We need to leave one alive to sort of make sure no new smart list emerges.
Okay, so I know I was trying to separate myself from the Dahmer thing.
Okay, good.
That's kind of why we brought you in.
To float the idea of killing these guys.
I gotta ask
if we're playing
Kill, Kill,
Leave Alive
to the other podcasters
who are
We play this all
the time.
We play this all the time we play this all the time what are your choices
the easy one to answer is just because of how frequently and it even happened today with you
the concept of our two first names creating sean hayes because of how often that comes up
creating Sean Hayes,
because of how often that comes up,
one gotta go.
Between Justin,
is it Justin Bateman?
So,
Justin and Bill Arnett. I think it's Gaston.
Gaston, Bateman, and Bill Arnett.
I would let them pick.
I would say to each of them,
which one of you two do you twos think I should leave alive?
Yeah.
alive yeah and whoever was noble enough to say that it should be the the other one and not themselves that's who i take out no i i take out the noble one because they because they i know
have some sort of internal strength of character where if i leave them alive right they may plot some kind of a revenge but the cowardly one that says me and begs for their life
and i know you're trying to separate yourself from the whole domer thing but the one who's
begging to live probably gaston i'd have that's that's who i. I have Gaston and Bill in the room.
They all know what's about to go down.
And I basically... I do make it their decision,
but in a different way.
Oh.
Which is I put a single whip between them.
And I just step back.
And I just let them...
I let them figure it out
which one of you will eat the whip
if you guys record that that's
an amazing way to start
the next decade
of shows
I mean that's their ability too
like what they could do with that
set up I mean like they're just
incredible
talents but not to focus
on the business side of this but like the bateman and sean hayes have their own thing
with the the phone commercials now right yeah and so i'm worried that like they're we're gonna lose
like a platform to get the message out there if it's either of that so i
think we'd have to take both of them out and then will has the the reese's vo and he can tell
everyone what happened over the images of the of the reese yes there's no wrong way to eat a reese's
but there is a wrong podcast to listen yes that's right or or something like that oh no he does Lego masters
too okay so yeah so can we get it via Lego masters can we blow up this podcast you know what I mean
and maybe this is the first episode check out the Joe Pera episode you know he's got a new stand-up
special coming out and what's the stand-up going to? It's October 6th? Yeah, October 6th.
That's a good promo.
And you know that Jason and Sean are doing the iPhone 15 commercial,
which is really, really great stuff.
I'm excited that they don't make enough money from Smartless already
and all of their other shows and syndication, et cetera,
that I should take.
They're getting those oboes all cash.
Yeah, yeah.
Just the boxes and boxes of oboes, shoes,
but they're not shoes in the box, just cash from.
That's how they ask to get paid on Smartless.
Anyhow, but I should do a...
I should take one of the clips from the commercials
and make the cell phone ring
and then I do
the voice on the cell phone.
I say, hey, hello, Jason. Hello,
Sean. I got a special coming
out. Would you mind?
That's cool.
You say you go out and watch it you get watch it for free
on youtube on your new iphone 15 only at the verizon store wow i don't know yeah i don't
know sorry i don't need to give verizon no that was no that was that was moving oh no all these
ads it reminds me of like some of my own shit, where all these ads, the phone companies
are against each other, but they're all like, pick me and I'll give you this new iPhone,
titanium iPhone.
It's like me and my GFs, you know what I mean?
It's like they're like pissed.
They're like pissed at each other,
but they all like love this.
No, it's good for me.
Yeah.
It's good for me that they're all competing
to be my favorite.
You know what I mean?
And just like trying new and innovative ways
to prove their loyalty to me.
And it's like, I just sit back with these phone companies
and I just reap the benefits.
It's really pretty cool.
It's kind of like Hayes with his GFs.
That's cool.
Have you guys watched any football yesterday?
Dude, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You must have seen the commercials on during uh they're
really almost like dividing the phone companies by comedy taste you know you saw keegan michael
key on the on the airplane i did see that att and then they got the smart list guys on uh verizon uh-huh okay sorry i don't want to throw
this but we can't really get into this and the next thing joe says is but then i saw the biggest
comedy joke of all which is travis kelsey getting the vaccine and the idea i guess being that he
didn't actually get it because he like like, would be that strong anymore.
I don't know.
I just, like, it's great for the special.
We just can't.
It's our 10-year episode.
And so, like, you know, stuff about.
Let's have a little extra attention on it.
So we just don't want to necessarily get on either side of the thing.
But the phone commercial.
Are we sure that we want,
what's the AT&T young woman's, Lily?
Lily.
Are we sure Lily should be out of the store so much?
She's at dinner, she's on a plane,
and it's like, I'm sorry,
I kind of need you in the store.
Lamello Ball is managing the store now.
I'm less confident in that.
Employee of the month at the store.
Well, I'm less comfortable with that.
I would like at least Lily to mention I'm on my way to the store.
That's why I'm on this plane.
I'm grabbing a quick dinner at this restaurant.
And then it's back to the store that's why i'm on this plane i'm grabbing a quick dinner at this restaurant and then it's back to the store for me because for so long she existed entirely within the walls
of that store and it's just i i'm not ready to let go of that yet it kind of seems like she isn't
either from some of the stuff that she's saying like a restaurant setting it's all like that's
so fun no she doesn't leave her work at work you know what i mean that's so funny most
people are yelling at the football game but then the at commercial comes on and you're like why
isn't she at the store get to the store who's so who's selling the new galaxy
galaxy phones at uh the store on sundays at 2 p.m if she's on a plane with keegan michael key
i love the new galaxy that new Galaxy that you just open like a newspaper.
You just like fold it up.
What?
Open it like a gigantic newspaper.
Yeah, they have a Galaxy phone that actually has. You can pull out.
Yeah, you can slide out pieces of the phone like separate screens.
It's so big.
You sit at the breakfast table and you like give,
like I give Hayes the business section of my galaxy phone because i've finished with it then he passes me the sports
it's really cool it's it'd be like that's a real family plan where it is like you all get to enjoy
the galaxy phone it's definitely one of the selling points do you guys does your podcast endorse a particular phone make
it's only available on on the pixel you can only listen if you have a pixel
not the new one no no no the pixel one a pixel
it's on one it's available on one Google Pixel phone. Yeah. Yeah.
You guys record the podcast.
Yeah, what did I say?
Pixel 1?
Yeah.
It's on one Pixel.
It's on one Pixel.
Yeah.
You guys record the podcast episode, upload it to a single phone, and then chuck it out
into a field and say, whoever can find the phone gets to listen to this episode.
Hope they like it.
Hope they like it.
Because we are going to need word of mouth.
Mm-hmm.
And I hope the phone's battery is still there, because I want them to call their friend and say, hey, I'm listening to this episode. Hope they like it. Hope they like it because we are going to need word of mouth. And I hope the phone's battery is still there because I want them to call their friend
and say, hey, I'm listening to this podcast.
That's something else.
And some of these
phones, like a Jitterbug or things like
that, phones that are a little more
accessible for an older
audience. Some of those phones
now, there's just one button
on the phone basically
but yeah that button plays our podcast that's beautiful we've been doing this for a while so
like our audience is kind of like now entering that stage of life it's sort of like a qvc
thing where primarily it's being enjoyed by people who don't know how to turn it off yes
right and that's why also we have to keep talking about like wow this is a really great podcast it's
an amazing opportunity to listen to this get on the patreon right now we are almost out of
subscriptions at this tier and so that's sort of what you know and we'll do the same thing for your
special kevin will do it and that are we'll mostly listen to it holding the phone to their ear and
and talking they think they're on the phone am i paying for the special on youtube or it's just
there it's just there we're gonna oh my god yeah they put a link to anybody wants to support by
buying a t-shirt or a hat.
That'd be great.
Oh, you're selling hats?
I'm wondering about that idea.
Sorry.
I hope it's not an issue.
Because if the product is free, you're the product, pal.
That's true.
I didn't think of it that way.
But, yeah, no, I guess with the stand-up special, that's okay.
Because, yeah, I truly am the product. Anyhow, yeah, have, I guess with the stand-up special, that's okay. Because, yeah, I truly am the product.
Anyhow, yeah, I have some T-shirts if anybody wants them.
But if not, I just wanted to get the special.
What else about football, man?
It felt like you had a whole thing.
You were like, did you fellas watch football?
And it seemed like.
I mean, I know you're a big Bills fan,
and they put a hurtin' on him
yesterday, right?
Yeah, that was pretty exciting.
I mean, it was the first time
this season I went to a bar
to watch the games and it was
really, it's a different
experience. A bar class.
Yeah.
Practicing plies while
you watch the games.
Nah, it's not what you meant but it's it was funny to be sounds exactly the same it's great it's no that's a good that would be
very funny but no that kind of stuff is available exclusively at the premium tier which you can get
right now by logging into our patreon and and kevin can you check in again
as the inventory how many of those do we have left not a lot and and actually it's about to
spike with this story i'm about to tell oh what's the what's the big news oh we unleashed the beast
it's not it's probably not news. Big news.
I went to my friend Darius's wedding in Northern California over the weekend.
Joe, love wins.
I went to some vintage shops a few hours before the wedding.
Beautiful vintage shops.
I look at one place.
I look at my fiance.
shops i look at one place i look at my fiance wouldn't this be perfect gift for one of the hosts of hollywood handbook 10th anniversary she said okay
we go to another store we go to another store
oh this would be perfect gift too for the other host of Hollywood Handbook. 10th anniversary.
Flash forward to look under your
seats, boys. Happy anniversary.
Oh no.
Under the...
Now one of the gifts
is...
They're both specific to you.
You put it so far back here.
I had to make sure you didn't see it.
Wow.
One of the gifts is a little more specific to my trip.
Well, Joe, I'm so sorry you have to be here while we open presents.
Which one should we open first?
There's nothing to do with you.
Is there something under Joe's seat as well?
Anything under your seat, Joe?
Joe, what is the space you're in
with the bulletin board?
A street hockey ball.
Thank you so much.
Okay, I'm opening mine first.
Yeah, open yours first, Hayes.
Mine is a
wow, a Charlie Brown
Grand Prix
puzzle.
1966. 90 years puzzle. 1966.
1966.
90 years old.
A year you were born.
Wow.
Show it to the camera.
And this is in honor of Casey finally letting us go on his Formula One podcast,
although he made it very clear that wasn't his decision.
That it was behind his back we were invited.
Cool puzzle.
Pretty cool. Sean, you're up to bat friend okay all right uh wood
wow this is for ages five to ten so that actually means that this podcast cannot do this puzzle
anymore oh okay it's some wood. Wow.
Play pickleball, Sonoma County.
Beautiful.
I look like Sean playing pickleball.
That's really nice.
That's so much nicer than my present. Sean's was a little bit more expensive than Hayes.
But I had to get something.
I was running late for the wedding.
So, hey, happy anniversary, boys.
I do always always my own
wow kevin and and joe in case you were curious it's made in the fucking usa baby that's so funny
some factories like if we can't make the medical ball sonoma county uh posters of the U.S. The country really is lost.
That's nice.
That's in a vintage shop, though, already?
Well, vintage now is a furniture store.
Okay, but Pickleball is like pretty new stuff.
It's not.
Oh, okay.
Actually, it's been around for quite a while it's gaining a lot of traction
right now um you know there's a new audience for it it's obviously growing very quickly but it was
invented actually uh a while back okay so we're almost like we're almost done. I want to make sure, like, you know, it's 10th anniversary.
I think a real decision point for whether we keep pursuing this is, like, you know, there's the show, there's the work that we do, and then there's the work outside the work, which is sometimes actually the real work.
Yeah.
actually the real work yeah which is we need to celebrate this moment with a huge hollywood ass party we gotta blow this thing out which is part of why we we told kevin to reach out to you because
obviously your uh soirees are legendary yep i'm a party game soiree soiree not soiree he says
can't spell party without some of the letters in para and and that's a pretty common uh
common phrase and so you know i mean we've heard about like the shit that goes down at your shindig some buddy of mine texted me that you uh excavated
the body of his dead middle school principal and let him just go ape shit on it with a bat
like just like like crazy shit like dreams being fulfilled and so we want to like
take this to the next level we have some ideas like cupcakes punch but
presents we like presents as you can see i mean
we had heard that in one room there's somebody with a tattoo gun and then in another room there's
somebody with just a regular gun at the parties you throw and you don't know which room is which
but if you walk in they will use it
on you so just like we just need this to be a fucking ripper uh and so like whatever you whatever
you've been holding on to yeah you know for there's like a move that's like been like even
cost prohibitive or something like yeah money is not an object it's a concept my parties are pretty simple basically you get a
you get a case of beer medium tier beer and now what are we talking what what what do you think
of as medium tier something that uh like a be the amber. Not like those fancy tall canned beers.
Okay.
Just some nice flavorful bottle of beer.
Got it.
You know, something like that.
Yeah, but we'll mix in some regular cheap beer, too, just to make sure we got enough.
But we get a lot of the beer, and we get on the smart TV,
and we put on Boat Zone TV, and we just let it rip.
And that comes with the TV, right?
That comes with this.
That's in the smart hub.
That's one of the channels, right?
Boat Zone is an app, an independent app.
Someday.
Right now it's just on YouTube.
But that's why, you know, I don't know if you guys watched it at all.
I've been, no, I've been.
Yeah, I watch porno.
I said that.
I've been primarily watching porno.
Sure.
Well, it's just a channel.
They've got a little size guide onto it because I was looking at boat crash videos.
But I think it's a man sets up a camera in, like, the inlets of Florida and by the marinas.
It just films the boats coming in and out on the waves.
And you get to watch the boats.
Sometimes they have a hard time with the waves,
but it puts up the make and model of the boat,
and then you get to see the people on the boat,
but you can't hear them over the water.
That was my question, man.
That was my question.
Can you see the people on the boat?
Yeah, so you can kind of think about what they're talking about,
what their relationships are. And uh doing the nasty no they're on their way out so you can kind of think about
what's going to happen but the cameraman and i said it's a man i think because you know you said
they're uh they're at the shore he said they might be on their way in and then on their way out and
then on their way back in and then on their way out again.
That's true.
But so the cameraman, he's a little bit of a horny guy
because he's like sometimes zoom in on the women on the boat.
And it's very bizarre.
You just think about who is this guy filming who is on the boat
and there's like lots of stories
and it's nice to put on in the back
I honestly did the last time I had
some friends over
and then I don't know
basically since you guys have
knocked off
at least two
two of the guys from
Smartless
you say hey everybody we're going to At least two of the guys from Smartless. From Smartless, yeah.
You say, hey, everybody, we're going to Bateman's house,
saying you could take anything you want.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Yeah, and then you say, hey, guys, this gets even better.
We're going to, who's, oh, yeah, because you want it.
Yeah.
Batman's house.
Jason.
No, no, no.
Jason Batman. Jason Batman.
Jason Batman.
Right?
Where?
So the boat's on TV.
And Will Arnett is Lego Batman.
Oh.
We got two Batmans.
Maybe the one we got to leave alive is the only one that's not Batman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you just go over the house. one that's not batman yeah yeah i think because we what we know is if you kill anyone in front
of batman who's close to batman you are fucking dust my friend you are cooked so i think actually
we do have to maintain sean hayes as the only non-Batman member of Smartless.
Sorry, I just need to get this right.
Interesting.
And is it good for us that he has our names?
I think that is, if not good, it's pretty neutral.
It's interesting.
Yeah.
Boat Zone TV, is it a live feed?
No, it is recorded, but they're pretty long chunks like
20 minutes 30 minutes sometimes so they got boat zone shorts okay that's actually good that it's
recorded so how about this i put on boat zone tv at my at our party and everyone's like waiting
for us to show up and come in but they're're watching Boat Zone TV and they're like having a pretty good ass time.
Yeah.
And then a boat comes in on Boat Zone TV.
I have to figure out exactly how to do this.
Yeah, but who's on the boat?
Sean and I get up, step off the boat.
Out of the TV?
Out of the TV into the party.
And so that's the step that like we got to figure out exactly how to do.
Yeah.
So it's prerecorded.
So we just have to go down to the marina.
We've got to find the guy who's filming it.
We've got to get on the front of the boat and kind of get the angle right
so that we're coming right at the lens.
Yeah.
And then we have to – and obviously I don't want to break a TV.
Right.
It's just like coming out of the TV without breaking it is just the one thing that we have well you had a tv show
like do you ever come out come out of the tv no we tried to figure it out but they couldn't make
it work okay yeah but no no it's a very good idea that doesn't mean that we can't no that'd be great that'd be insane
that'd be such a cool thing and then what do you guys what's the first thing you guys say when you
get you come to the tv and say joe's new special is like i mean you're leading me into this right
yeah no no we heard from his reps like joe like you know he's like he'll have a great
time he just needs to get to he needs to hit his spot he has certain things that he requires of you
and otherwise he's like down to talk he'll talk about all you know killing other podcast hosts
he'll talk about all the dommer shit like he'll like get really deep into it but like you do have
to and i guess this is the fourth time or something
we've had to talk about it what are you doing are you going crazy on stage are you going nuts
pretty much it's basically all it's basically like wasn't um lockdown crazy this is wasn't
that was that was crazy time? It was so weird.
Basically for, you know, 56 minutes.
Yeah, that's about it.
No, it's got good jokes, so it's pretty kind of,
it's a little bit on the goofier side.
What's the URL?
I don't know.
That's fun to think about because we haven't posted it yet, so what?
Is it adults only?
Do I need an account?
Do I need like an age ascribed to the account?
No, no.
No, it's pretty good.
It's for kids.
There's a short instance of adult language, but other than that, it's pretty.
What is it?
What are we working with?
Which one of the four horsemen we bring it in?
Right?
You got to tune in to find out.
You got to watch to find out.
Oh, hell, this guy, he knows me.
No, I'm going to have to watch.
I want to hear the swears.
Joe, can I pitch a URL title for you?
Sure.
What would be a good URL?
Dom and Dommer.
It's not.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. dom and domer it's not goodbye goodbye
that was a hate gum podcast