Hollywood Handbook - Joe Pera, Our 10th Anniversary Friend

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

The Boys talk to JOE PERA about hosting the Hollywood Handbook 10th anniversary party. Check out Joe’s new special this Friday on YouTube.See all the brand new Hat Pack merch including... XL-3XL flat brim hats HERE!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Yep. Yep. Should I put them on? Wait, sorry. They were tied on. Are you wearing shoes or not? No. No. Should you want me to put them on for the podcast? No, no. We can take ours off. It's fine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Yeah, I'll lose mine as well. That's no big thing. We want everybody to be comfy. So if you're comfy, we'll be comfy. Yeah, feel good. What are you? Copper fit. Brand sucks. they're real good yeah what are you um copper fit brand socks these are uh these babies aren't for everybody you know what i mean these are for top performance athletes like you get these so these
Starting point is 00:00:58 aren't sold so at target they sell socks obviously in the clothing section but then separately in the athletic section where they have sports rackets things like that there is a second set of socks and that that's not for people who are just buying their clothes that's for people who are about to engage in competition of some kind nice you heard of copperheads like the snake copperhead snake last last thing you'll ever heard of probably that's how venomous you read any barbara kingsolver what barbara kingsolver you ever read any of her novels no i think one of them's called copperhead i think one's called copperhead oh yeah that would be that would be very funny if there were a number of books where people got bit by copperheads and
Starting point is 00:01:50 that's just uh just an author who thematically keeps circling around it's a section it's like the traumatic event in every one of their novels yeah and you just i would keep buying Because I'd be like, when and who Is going to get bit by a copperhead It would be Yeah, that would be good I would get into those books If that happens What are you
Starting point is 00:02:15 Stepping at in these days, what kind of shoes you wear I got a pair Of hiking boots I was wearing Yesterday because it was raining in the city. Okay. What, Merrells? What are we talking about? Brand.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Columbia? What do you mean? No, I needed to keep my feet dry while I was on the road one time, so I went to the store and tried on a pair of the oboes. Oboes? Yeah, they were a little pricey. Yeah, those are like $800, $900. Those shoes are like $1,000 each.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah, I had to take out a loan. I had to do at the store. It was like a car dealership for the oboes. But they were one of the, honestly, I don't want to pitch a brand, but they were probably the best investment I made in the past couple years. Yeah. To have some. Yeah, they were one of the, honestly, I don't want to pitch your brand, but they were probably the best investment I made in the past couple of years. Yeah. They have some, yeah,
Starting point is 00:03:09 they're my feet are dry. You have to sell just for full disclosure. Like you have to pitch the shoes out cause you have to sell a bunch of pairs to make your, you're in a situation where you need 15 other people to buy oboes just to break even right now. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Not only did I have to take out the loan but i had to yeah start a multi-level marketing scheme for oboes it's it's that's that's that's sort of a dirty word a little bit these days just because of the way people have portrayed like not all mlms are created equal there are some that are scams and there are some that actually present opportunities to not only introduce people to great products, like the Oboe boots, which I, you know, I'm also a huge fan of. People need shoes to live.
Starting point is 00:03:53 It's like your feet were actually about to get, like, extremely wet, as you said. And by the way, the industry, it's like, oh, the strike's over, so nobody needs a side hustle anymore. That's just not the case. It hasn't been ratified, the deal, and
Starting point is 00:04:10 we still do not really understand the landscape of what this business is going to look like, and so you selling oboes, I think, on our podcast is commendable. Thank you. Jobos. Oh, that's good. I mean. Jobos. Oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:04:28 I mean. Jobos. Oh, Jobos. If you're going to pitch a product, I guess there are worse things to try and sell than something comfortable for people's feet. Yeah, there's a couple. You can't.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I know Hayes said Jobos, and I said it too, but you can't call them Jobos because those are the Trader Joe version of oboes that yeah that are for sale right now trader jobos they and you don't you don't make it i'm frozen you don't make it 10 years that's another good idea i should i should just write a pace we're talking i should write j apostrophe i should buy the oboes right j apostrophe oboes on the side of the boot and then try and resell them for five ten dollars more and uh just do a little markup and yeah yeah i don't yeah yeah but then you don't have your shoes anymore at that point remember like you needed your shoes in the first place your feet were gonna get wet
Starting point is 00:05:30 we're gonna get wet and now you've sold them now unless that was all bullshit yeah no no i'll get i'll keep those for my own self but i'll go out buy another pair of Jesus and then okay right right the j on the side i'd do a seed round first, get some venture capital involved just so you could get the inventory established because I don't want you to be out of pocket for a bunch of jobos before we've proven that the model works. That's true. I don't even know where I would go to start to ask for venture capital money.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Why don't you pitch Kevin right now? I mean, he comes from a sort of an insurance dynasty. Generational wealth. And he's here right now, Chef Kevin. And I think maybe I know he's wearing a Tree TV shirt, which you might think, oh, he put that on because of me. It's like, no, he wears it every other day. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:06:20 It's either this or a cigarette brand. Yeah. They're comfortable products. It feels like, you know, just write Jobo's Tree TV Edition boots on the side and then sell them. That's a lot of stuff. Yes. On the shoe. Just basically sell stuff to Kevin.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Maybe for freaking Shaq, you could fit all that stuff on there. That would be good. Man, you imagine Shaq in a could fit all that stuff on there. That would be good. Man, you imagine Shaq in a pair of Oboz hiking boots. Proving he can still dunk. Yeah, that would be good. Dunking on wet roads. Dunking on rocky trails.
Starting point is 00:07:03 That would be really fucking awesome. i don't know exactly what i mean but like if someone if a good like visual artist could illustrate that for me yeah i what is your guys's stance on ai because i'm sure you could put that into one of the it's tool like anything else it's tool it's tool and if you could put that into one of the AI images. It's a tool like anything else. It's a tool. We don't want the students to use it. If you think writers aren't going to be using AI, it's a tool.
Starting point is 00:07:33 It's a tool for human creativity. It can't do anything itself. It needs a prompt created by a human to say something like, show me a nice picture make me some money right now yes just porno you just type in write me a story in the style of porno you know type in a six a six hour porno you just type that in and so that's an idea that that's actually a human came up with
Starting point is 00:08:08 that right they didn't have that before they didn't have a porno that was six hours long create me a six hour animated porno prohibitively expensive beforehand it was crazy it was crazy even with digital film it was like really which by the, I don't like to use, I don't want to get in too much. I don't like to use digital for my porno because I think there is a mental pressure exerted on the performers knowing that we are running out of physical film that creates a sort of internal drive to get it right. And if you don't have that and it's so loosey-goosey, and you're like, maybe I'll come.
Starting point is 00:08:58 You can hear it in the gate. You can hear it when the film really starts to get thick in the gate. This is our last shot at this, guys. Yeah. And I think you get people's best work when there's something closing in on them versus just like, man, maybe we'll do it again. So I don't shoot any of my porno on digital. And now I don't shoot it at all.
Starting point is 00:09:21 I just type it into AI, which is a great tool. And he has the boom too, kind of swooping down on the oh yeah i get the boom too close it's popping them on the head you know i go the boom guy's arms are getting tired you're taking too long are you do you do the camera and the boom yeah i call when i say the boom guy i'm referring to myself yeah which is like and his arms aren't getting tired. I mean, like, you could see, like, you'd think those are, it's like, he's good. Right, Joe?
Starting point is 00:09:52 But it's to create that sense of impending disaster. You like that? Yeah. They're not getting tired, man. That looks good. Yeah, six hours would be a long time even for you i'm sure to keep the boom mic going yeah no i uh i do have to admit they do get pretty tired i i mean i guess i'm a lot of bluster today joe no no it's fine you just i mean even
Starting point is 00:10:23 i think i just really wanted to impress you with how long i could hold the boom mic and looking back uh i don't know what we do in terms of editing this episode because like it's really heavy for me and i pretty quickly you know uh even just me implying that the reason i'm bopping the performers on the head with it is to kind of spur them to get finished. It's just happening because I just can't hold it that long. This is a very good conversation for me. I've never seen a porno before, so this is, I'm just interested. You would love it. You would love it. It can be
Starting point is 00:11:04 so cool to watch i mean and it's where you know we're animals human beings are animals you ever watch animals have sex no okay all right all right we might want to start there that that's porno porno. So, like, you've never seen porno? You've never seen any of that? Yeah. No, I'll consider checking it out sometime. Yeah, just whatever. Bugs. It's not a guest.
Starting point is 00:11:33 You've just never seen it. A fly lands on you, and you go, like, oh, it's a big fly. And you go, no, it's two of them. They're fucking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've seen the insects doing it before. Dragonflies.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Yeah. Okay, that's great. Yeah. I got pretty good imagination. Yeah. Yeah. I think some of where we're coming from today is not being sure of exactly how much to celebrate ourselves. It's just another episode.
Starting point is 00:12:03 It's just a we got joe we're so excited to have joe like you know like hear about the clothes that he wears and stuff like that but like i it's also kind of special for us that like we have been doing this now when this episode comes out for 10 years 10 year You know, I've called up I called up Scott Aukerman this morning. I don't know if you guys are friends, but I called him up and I said, I said, hey,
Starting point is 00:12:33 so just be careful what you say because Joe and Scott are really good friends. Well, Scott will know. Yeah, he was part of this conversation. I did call him up and I said, hey man, it's a big one today. We're going to record it and it's been 10 years and he said okay do it again do it again that's cool he's seen him do it again congratulations
Starting point is 00:12:57 oh stop stop i'm humiliated don't make this big a deal out of it. How many podcasts are there that have gone all 10 years? Kevin. Kevin. I think just Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah. And this one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Wow. Congratulations. That's pretty good. Did you ever do Comedy Bang Bang? No. I don't do that. You said no? No, I don't do too many podcasts.
Starting point is 00:13:30 I don't know Scott or anybody. Okay. Well, he takes a lot of credit for your success. Because like we were doing our, you know, like I said, we've seen him come and go. We kind of watched you hit the scene. And like, you know, we're hanging out with Scott. And Scott is, has this kind of, he was like, yeah, Joe, like I made him. And I can degrade him yeah that's what he like that was like his kind of attitude towards you whether or not you actually know him i guess he
Starting point is 00:14:13 feels like he made you well and that he and that he could degrade you as well all right i'll have to think on that that uh you don't have to you don't have to i don that. You don't have to. You don't have to. I honestly don't think there's anything for you to do. Like, I don't. Scott's going to Scott, you know. Yeah. He made us, and he's definitely out of hand. He has definitely degraded us. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Where do you get? That's his porno. The podcast, the 10-year podcast, people hang out regularly. You, Markerman, maybe podcast, people hang out regularly. You, Ackerman, maybe Rogan. Yeah. Yeah. Rogan's closing in.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Yes. Rogan's closing in. He's getting close. He's right behind us. We can feel his very quick little footsteps. You know, his reps didn't want any piece of the podcast when he started that thing up. They wanted nothing to do with it. He's laughing now.
Starting point is 00:15:10 He's laughing now. So fucking stupid. And I tell all business people I interact with, I go, hmm, you didn't really want to be involved with Hollywood Handbook, did you? Yeah. You didn't really want to get in. Now we've got the hat you yeah you didn't really want to get in now we got the hat pack by the way we should send you a hat joe i'd love to see you in one of these things but we got so much going on now and it's just like so fucking stupid so pathetic and what did they invest in instead right tesla you know shit like that their mistake i'm laughing all the way to the bank not the not the bank itself i'm laughing in the studio and the studio and then back will lead to the
Starting point is 00:15:54 yeah i'm going back home but yeah after this i'll be laughing my way back home i'll be laughing my way back home to try to figure out what's next no i mean 10 years is a big marker you have to yeah it's a perfect time to quit it's a perfect time to go to 100 that's right it's interesting you bring up that it's a perfect time to quit yeah because we have these hats we are sort of wondering if like if if the hats are needing a little bit more of our time and attention. Mm-hmm. If the podcast now is pulling away from the hat. And I noticed you were at least noticing the hat area.
Starting point is 00:16:34 When I sat down, you did immediately ask if that was my real hair. And maybe, like, and I wonder if that's, like, the hat drawing your attention in a way you didn't know exactly what was so compelling to you or it definitely makes the hat look cooler i'm sorry i thought you were in the little zoom screen i thought you were sean and i thought sean had grown his hair out so i was like wow is it really really full-size. And I have before. And I have before. So there's no. Really?
Starting point is 00:17:09 You guys ever wonder what would happen if you had your hair grown out at the same time? It's kind of a zero-sum game. When Hayes gets a haircut, mine will start to grow. I cut mine again. His gets longer. The podcast would just get too powerful. And we have to be conscious of that, too. If we go too much longer, does it become something that gets away from us?
Starting point is 00:17:32 You know what I mean? Or do we just become such a target? Yes. Right now, we're in a sweet spot. No one's really coming at us because they don't know about us. That's not true. It's not a good target. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:17:45 I don't want to put a big-ass target on my back. This is the place to announce stuff. This is the place for controversy. Well, it's speaking of. I get it. It's speaking of. Message received. And I had heard how Joe kind of does this.
Starting point is 00:17:58 No. He just wants to get to. He just wants. And Joe, and trust me, and joe and trust me kevin will actually put something in the episode description and he may even plug in a little sometimes he likes to talk before the episode he goes like here's what i thought about during the episode the guys didn't really throw to me to see what was going on but i was kind of wondering and he'll just kind of plug in all his like takes on what happened um so he'll he'll mention your special but why don't why don't we announce the special i i saw it on um one of these
Starting point is 00:18:35 social media sites and there's i can't keep track of them anymore face stink or whatever the you know all the there's so many there's so many places you gotta post stuff now it's crazy it's crazy you do your own uh posting yeah of course so you're on there yeah unfortunately people message you you read everything huh definitely not i mean i try i try i got an email account i try and read the emails that people send but a lot of yeah i just started to do tiktok and it's um it's a i just post i do a post and then it's like it's uh look this is guys like dommer this is guys dommer because it's all younger stuff it's younger people who have only seen Dahmer on Netflix
Starting point is 00:19:28 DMs, Dahmer messages pretty much just a lot of Dahmer comments lately so I'm trying to not read stuff on there that'll die down and also you know
Starting point is 00:19:43 I'm from a little bit of an older generation. And I don't think of you that way. I don't. I think if you know both you and Dahmer, as I obviously do, there's a lot of distinctions. People say they can't tell our voices apart. This is still going on. Really? And I got to say, Joe, he didn't get in trouble for uh not being good looking
Starting point is 00:20:07 you know i mean actually a little bit of what got him into trouble yes indeed so it wasn't uh people are sort of coming at you from that angle they might be trying to like say a little something like the man was playing daddy yeah the fact is if he wasn't pulling none of this happens so just it's cold comfort but comfort nonetheless i appreciate it i feel like the dommer show is kind of his own there's dommer and how he talked and looked and then there's dommer show which is not quite how he from the little bit that i seen they made them like they're trying to make him a little bit too hunky he's got like biceps bulging and it's like people don't work out like that and when dommer was in his prime he didn't quite sound that way. So I feel like Did you go in for it, Joe? I'm sort of
Starting point is 00:21:07 what I'm hearing a little bit is these grapes are starting to taste a little bit sour. Yeah. No, no, no. I just don't like being compared to that guy. But I feel like they made it a little bit sexy. Like the Dahmer shows
Starting point is 00:21:24 it gives off like sexy vibes and it's a little bit gross if you ask me. Yeah, I mean, I didn't find it sexy, but then I've watched actual porno, which we've established you haven't. So when I watched that, it seemed like just like kind of creepy. That's sexy to me.
Starting point is 00:21:42 The porno? Porno, yes. AI six hour porno is to be sexy. That's what I consider to be sexy is porno porno yes a ai six hour porno is that's what i consider to be sexy is and it's porno hollywood handbook hi everybody great news we got brand new hat pack merch so what do we got a hat pack xl to 3xl flap rim hat a hat pack iron on single patch and a hat pack iron-on single patch, and a hat pack t-shirt. And all this is made in my friggin' house, gang, by my own fiancée, Chef Leah. You can follow her at shop.rolyhog on Instagram. She posts a lot of behind-the-scenes of making everything.
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Starting point is 00:22:44 Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal You cook the full meal for us now, Kevin. You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet. You're actually doing the cooking. And there are 35 different options to choose from every week, including Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto. Which is this?
Starting point is 00:23:21 It's a little bit of all of them. Okay. Okay, it shouldn't be. There are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the the promise is the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah
Starting point is 00:23:45 your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy they have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second it's you and your bed bed i guess clippy fuel up fast with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are. Pancake smoothies and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, midday bites, and more. No, we didn't even. This is not even up for consideration.
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Starting point is 00:25:40 and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle
Starting point is 00:26:37 and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out. And I'm like, am I supposed to pull over and get out of the car? Or just do it out the window as I'm going? That's what I've been doing. That seems dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real-life situations, which I have all the time,
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Starting point is 00:28:32 They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before I found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if I did not cancel and I you know I think also by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything
Starting point is 00:29:13 from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 dollars a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh
Starting point is 00:30:13 yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook i want to get back to this post please yeah let's get in there and you so as you are posting a special something very special yeah we're doing it on the on on youtube putting up a special on october 6th still kicking man youtube's seeing them come and go as well youtube's a comedy bang bang oh yeah video sites because they've been here 10 years plus is comedy bang Bang your big rival, or are you guys trying? I heard you guys said you, I shouldn't say this, but before we were talking, and you said you were going to kill the guys from Smartless.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Well, I think if we kill two of the guys from Smartless and then we leave one alive to go and tell all the other podcasts what we did, tell them what they saw here today, I think that's probably the move. That's the cold-blooded Hollywood handbook way. That's a good business move. We need to leave one alive to sort of make sure no new smart list emerges. Okay, so I know I was trying to separate myself from the Dahmer thing. Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:31:45 That's kind of why we brought you in. To float the idea of killing these guys. I gotta ask if we're playing Kill, Kill, Leave Alive to the other podcasters who are
Starting point is 00:32:01 We play this all the time. We play this all the time we play this all the time what are your choices the easy one to answer is just because of how frequently and it even happened today with you the concept of our two first names creating sean hayes because of how often that comes up creating Sean Hayes, because of how often that comes up, one gotta go.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Between Justin, is it Justin Bateman? So, Justin and Bill Arnett. I think it's Gaston. Gaston, Bateman, and Bill Arnett. I would let them pick. I would say to each of them, which one of you two do you twos think I should leave alive?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Yeah. alive yeah and whoever was noble enough to say that it should be the the other one and not themselves that's who i take out no i i take out the noble one because they because they i know have some sort of internal strength of character where if i leave them alive right they may plot some kind of a revenge but the cowardly one that says me and begs for their life and i know you're trying to separate yourself from the whole domer thing but the one who's begging to live probably gaston i'd have that's that's who i. I have Gaston and Bill in the room. They all know what's about to go down. And I basically... I do make it their decision, but in a different way.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Oh. Which is I put a single whip between them. And I just step back. And I just let them... I let them figure it out which one of you will eat the whip if you guys record that that's an amazing way to start
Starting point is 00:34:12 the next decade of shows I mean that's their ability too like what they could do with that set up I mean like they're just incredible talents but not to focus on the business side of this but like the bateman and sean hayes have their own thing
Starting point is 00:34:34 with the the phone commercials now right yeah and so i'm worried that like they're we're gonna lose like a platform to get the message out there if it's either of that so i think we'd have to take both of them out and then will has the the reese's vo and he can tell everyone what happened over the images of the of the reese yes there's no wrong way to eat a reese's but there is a wrong podcast to listen yes that's right or or something like that oh no he does Lego masters too okay so yeah so can we get it via Lego masters can we blow up this podcast you know what I mean and maybe this is the first episode check out the Joe Pera episode you know he's got a new stand-up special coming out and what's the stand-up going to? It's October 6th? Yeah, October 6th.
Starting point is 00:35:27 That's a good promo. And you know that Jason and Sean are doing the iPhone 15 commercial, which is really, really great stuff. I'm excited that they don't make enough money from Smartless already and all of their other shows and syndication, et cetera, that I should take. They're getting those oboes all cash. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Just the boxes and boxes of oboes, shoes, but they're not shoes in the box, just cash from. That's how they ask to get paid on Smartless. Anyhow, but I should do a... I should take one of the clips from the commercials and make the cell phone ring and then I do the voice on the cell phone.
Starting point is 00:36:14 I say, hey, hello, Jason. Hello, Sean. I got a special coming out. Would you mind? That's cool. You say you go out and watch it you get watch it for free on youtube on your new iphone 15 only at the verizon store wow i don't know yeah i don't know sorry i don't need to give verizon no that was no that was that was moving oh no all these ads it reminds me of like some of my own shit, where all these ads, the phone companies
Starting point is 00:36:50 are against each other, but they're all like, pick me and I'll give you this new iPhone, titanium iPhone. It's like me and my GFs, you know what I mean? It's like they're like pissed. They're like pissed at each other, but they all like love this. No, it's good for me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:11 It's good for me that they're all competing to be my favorite. You know what I mean? And just like trying new and innovative ways to prove their loyalty to me. And it's like, I just sit back with these phone companies and I just reap the benefits. It's really pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:37:33 It's kind of like Hayes with his GFs. That's cool. Have you guys watched any football yesterday? Dude, yes, yes, yes, yes. You must have seen the commercials on during uh they're really almost like dividing the phone companies by comedy taste you know you saw keegan michael key on the on the airplane i did see that att and then they got the smart list guys on uh verizon uh-huh okay sorry i don't want to throw this but we can't really get into this and the next thing joe says is but then i saw the biggest
Starting point is 00:38:13 comedy joke of all which is travis kelsey getting the vaccine and the idea i guess being that he didn't actually get it because he like like, would be that strong anymore. I don't know. I just, like, it's great for the special. We just can't. It's our 10-year episode. And so, like, you know, stuff about. Let's have a little extra attention on it.
Starting point is 00:38:38 So we just don't want to necessarily get on either side of the thing. But the phone commercial. Are we sure that we want, what's the AT&T young woman's, Lily? Lily. Are we sure Lily should be out of the store so much? She's at dinner, she's on a plane, and it's like, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:39:03 I kind of need you in the store. Lamello Ball is managing the store now. I'm less confident in that. Employee of the month at the store. Well, I'm less comfortable with that. I would like at least Lily to mention I'm on my way to the store. That's why I'm on this plane. I'm grabbing a quick dinner at this restaurant.
Starting point is 00:39:24 And then it's back to the store that's why i'm on this plane i'm grabbing a quick dinner at this restaurant and then it's back to the store for me because for so long she existed entirely within the walls of that store and it's just i i'm not ready to let go of that yet it kind of seems like she isn't either from some of the stuff that she's saying like a restaurant setting it's all like that's so fun no she doesn't leave her work at work you know what i mean that's so funny most people are yelling at the football game but then the at commercial comes on and you're like why isn't she at the store get to the store who's so who's selling the new galaxy galaxy phones at uh the store on sundays at 2 p.m if she's on a plane with keegan michael key i love the new galaxy that new Galaxy that you just open like a newspaper.
Starting point is 00:40:28 You just like fold it up. What? Open it like a gigantic newspaper. Yeah, they have a Galaxy phone that actually has. You can pull out. Yeah, you can slide out pieces of the phone like separate screens. It's so big. You sit at the breakfast table and you like give, like I give Hayes the business section of my galaxy phone because i've finished with it then he passes me the sports
Starting point is 00:40:51 it's really cool it's it'd be like that's a real family plan where it is like you all get to enjoy the galaxy phone it's definitely one of the selling points do you guys does your podcast endorse a particular phone make it's only available on on the pixel you can only listen if you have a pixel not the new one no no no the pixel one a pixel it's on one it's available on one Google Pixel phone. Yeah. Yeah. You guys record the podcast. Yeah, what did I say? Pixel 1?
Starting point is 00:41:28 Yeah. It's on one Pixel. It's on one Pixel. Yeah. You guys record the podcast episode, upload it to a single phone, and then chuck it out into a field and say, whoever can find the phone gets to listen to this episode. Hope they like it. Hope they like it.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Because we are going to need word of mouth. Mm-hmm. And I hope the phone's battery is still there, because I want them to call their friend and say, hey, I'm listening to this episode. Hope they like it. Hope they like it because we are going to need word of mouth. And I hope the phone's battery is still there because I want them to call their friend and say, hey, I'm listening to this podcast. That's something else. And some of these phones, like a Jitterbug or things like that, phones that are a little more
Starting point is 00:41:58 accessible for an older audience. Some of those phones now, there's just one button on the phone basically but yeah that button plays our podcast that's beautiful we've been doing this for a while so like our audience is kind of like now entering that stage of life it's sort of like a qvc thing where primarily it's being enjoyed by people who don't know how to turn it off yes right and that's why also we have to keep talking about like wow this is a really great podcast it's
Starting point is 00:42:32 an amazing opportunity to listen to this get on the patreon right now we are almost out of subscriptions at this tier and so that's sort of what you know and we'll do the same thing for your special kevin will do it and that are we'll mostly listen to it holding the phone to their ear and and talking they think they're on the phone am i paying for the special on youtube or it's just there it's just there we're gonna oh my god yeah they put a link to anybody wants to support by buying a t-shirt or a hat. That'd be great. Oh, you're selling hats?
Starting point is 00:43:08 I'm wondering about that idea. Sorry. I hope it's not an issue. Because if the product is free, you're the product, pal. That's true. I didn't think of it that way. But, yeah, no, I guess with the stand-up special, that's okay. Because, yeah, I truly am the product. Anyhow, yeah, have, I guess with the stand-up special, that's okay. Because, yeah, I truly am the product.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Anyhow, yeah, I have some T-shirts if anybody wants them. But if not, I just wanted to get the special. What else about football, man? It felt like you had a whole thing. You were like, did you fellas watch football? And it seemed like. I mean, I know you're a big Bills fan, and they put a hurtin' on him
Starting point is 00:43:46 yesterday, right? Yeah, that was pretty exciting. I mean, it was the first time this season I went to a bar to watch the games and it was really, it's a different experience. A bar class. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Practicing plies while you watch the games. Nah, it's not what you meant but it's it was funny to be sounds exactly the same it's great it's no that's a good that would be very funny but no that kind of stuff is available exclusively at the premium tier which you can get right now by logging into our patreon and and kevin can you check in again as the inventory how many of those do we have left not a lot and and actually it's about to spike with this story i'm about to tell oh what's the what's the big news oh we unleashed the beast it's not it's probably not news. Big news.
Starting point is 00:44:46 I went to my friend Darius's wedding in Northern California over the weekend. Joe, love wins. I went to some vintage shops a few hours before the wedding. Beautiful vintage shops. I look at one place. I look at my fiance. shops i look at one place i look at my fiance wouldn't this be perfect gift for one of the hosts of hollywood handbook 10th anniversary she said okay we go to another store we go to another store
Starting point is 00:45:18 oh this would be perfect gift too for the other host of Hollywood Handbook. 10th anniversary. Flash forward to look under your seats, boys. Happy anniversary. Oh no. Under the... Now one of the gifts is... They're both specific to you.
Starting point is 00:45:41 You put it so far back here. I had to make sure you didn't see it. Wow. One of the gifts is a little more specific to my trip. Well, Joe, I'm so sorry you have to be here while we open presents. Which one should we open first? There's nothing to do with you. Is there something under Joe's seat as well?
Starting point is 00:46:02 Anything under your seat, Joe? Joe, what is the space you're in with the bulletin board? A street hockey ball. Thank you so much. Okay, I'm opening mine first. Yeah, open yours first, Hayes. Mine is a
Starting point is 00:46:18 wow, a Charlie Brown Grand Prix puzzle. 1966. 90 years puzzle. 1966. 1966. 90 years old. A year you were born. Wow.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Show it to the camera. And this is in honor of Casey finally letting us go on his Formula One podcast, although he made it very clear that wasn't his decision. That it was behind his back we were invited. Cool puzzle. Pretty cool. Sean, you're up to bat friend okay all right uh wood wow this is for ages five to ten so that actually means that this podcast cannot do this puzzle anymore oh okay it's some wood. Wow.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Play pickleball, Sonoma County. Beautiful. I look like Sean playing pickleball. That's really nice. That's so much nicer than my present. Sean's was a little bit more expensive than Hayes. But I had to get something. I was running late for the wedding. So, hey, happy anniversary, boys.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I do always always my own wow kevin and and joe in case you were curious it's made in the fucking usa baby that's so funny some factories like if we can't make the medical ball sonoma county uh posters of the U.S. The country really is lost. That's nice. That's in a vintage shop, though, already? Well, vintage now is a furniture store. Okay, but Pickleball is like pretty new stuff. It's not.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Oh, okay. Actually, it's been around for quite a while it's gaining a lot of traction right now um you know there's a new audience for it it's obviously growing very quickly but it was invented actually uh a while back okay so we're almost like we're almost done. I want to make sure, like, you know, it's 10th anniversary. I think a real decision point for whether we keep pursuing this is, like, you know, there's the show, there's the work that we do, and then there's the work outside the work, which is sometimes actually the real work. Yeah. actually the real work yeah which is we need to celebrate this moment with a huge hollywood ass party we gotta blow this thing out which is part of why we we told kevin to reach out to you because obviously your uh soirees are legendary yep i'm a party game soiree soiree not soiree he says
Starting point is 00:49:07 can't spell party without some of the letters in para and and that's a pretty common uh common phrase and so you know i mean we've heard about like the shit that goes down at your shindig some buddy of mine texted me that you uh excavated the body of his dead middle school principal and let him just go ape shit on it with a bat like just like like crazy shit like dreams being fulfilled and so we want to like take this to the next level we have some ideas like cupcakes punch but presents we like presents as you can see i mean we had heard that in one room there's somebody with a tattoo gun and then in another room there's somebody with just a regular gun at the parties you throw and you don't know which room is which
Starting point is 00:50:04 but if you walk in they will use it on you so just like we just need this to be a fucking ripper uh and so like whatever you whatever you've been holding on to yeah you know for there's like a move that's like been like even cost prohibitive or something like yeah money is not an object it's a concept my parties are pretty simple basically you get a you get a case of beer medium tier beer and now what are we talking what what what do you think of as medium tier something that uh like a be the amber. Not like those fancy tall canned beers. Okay. Just some nice flavorful bottle of beer.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Got it. You know, something like that. Yeah, but we'll mix in some regular cheap beer, too, just to make sure we got enough. But we get a lot of the beer, and we get on the smart TV, and we put on Boat Zone TV, and we just let it rip. And that comes with the TV, right? That comes with this. That's in the smart hub.
Starting point is 00:51:19 That's one of the channels, right? Boat Zone is an app, an independent app. Someday. Right now it's just on YouTube. But that's why, you know, I don't know if you guys watched it at all. I've been, no, I've been. Yeah, I watch porno. I said that.
Starting point is 00:51:35 I've been primarily watching porno. Sure. Well, it's just a channel. They've got a little size guide onto it because I was looking at boat crash videos. But I think it's a man sets up a camera in, like, the inlets of Florida and by the marinas. It just films the boats coming in and out on the waves. And you get to watch the boats. Sometimes they have a hard time with the waves,
Starting point is 00:52:09 but it puts up the make and model of the boat, and then you get to see the people on the boat, but you can't hear them over the water. That was my question, man. That was my question. Can you see the people on the boat? Yeah, so you can kind of think about what they're talking about, what their relationships are. And uh doing the nasty no they're on their way out so you can kind of think about
Starting point is 00:52:33 what's going to happen but the cameraman and i said it's a man i think because you know you said they're uh they're at the shore he said they might be on their way in and then on their way out and then on their way back in and then on their way out again. That's true. But so the cameraman, he's a little bit of a horny guy because he's like sometimes zoom in on the women on the boat. And it's very bizarre. You just think about who is this guy filming who is on the boat
Starting point is 00:53:06 and there's like lots of stories and it's nice to put on in the back I honestly did the last time I had some friends over and then I don't know basically since you guys have knocked off at least two
Starting point is 00:53:21 two of the guys from Smartless you say hey everybody we're going to At least two of the guys from Smartless. From Smartless, yeah. You say, hey, everybody, we're going to Bateman's house, saying you could take anything you want. Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, and then you say, hey, guys, this gets even better. We're going to, who's, oh, yeah, because you want it.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Yeah. Batman's house. Jason. No, no, no. Jason Batman. Jason Batman. Jason Batman. Right? Where?
Starting point is 00:53:50 So the boat's on TV. And Will Arnett is Lego Batman. Oh. We got two Batmans. Maybe the one we got to leave alive is the only one that's not Batman. Yeah. Yeah. So you just go over the house. one that's not batman yeah yeah i think because we what we know is if you kill anyone in front
Starting point is 00:54:08 of batman who's close to batman you are fucking dust my friend you are cooked so i think actually we do have to maintain sean hayes as the only non-Batman member of Smartless. Sorry, I just need to get this right. Interesting. And is it good for us that he has our names? I think that is, if not good, it's pretty neutral. It's interesting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Boat Zone TV, is it a live feed? No, it is recorded, but they're pretty long chunks like 20 minutes 30 minutes sometimes so they got boat zone shorts okay that's actually good that it's recorded so how about this i put on boat zone tv at my at our party and everyone's like waiting for us to show up and come in but they're're watching Boat Zone TV and they're like having a pretty good ass time. Yeah. And then a boat comes in on Boat Zone TV. I have to figure out exactly how to do this.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Yeah, but who's on the boat? Sean and I get up, step off the boat. Out of the TV? Out of the TV into the party. And so that's the step that like we got to figure out exactly how to do. Yeah. So it's prerecorded. So we just have to go down to the marina.
Starting point is 00:55:33 We've got to find the guy who's filming it. We've got to get on the front of the boat and kind of get the angle right so that we're coming right at the lens. Yeah. And then we have to – and obviously I don't want to break a TV. Right. It's just like coming out of the TV without breaking it is just the one thing that we have well you had a tv show like do you ever come out come out of the tv no we tried to figure it out but they couldn't make
Starting point is 00:55:58 it work okay yeah but no no it's a very good idea that doesn't mean that we can't no that'd be great that'd be insane that'd be such a cool thing and then what do you guys what's the first thing you guys say when you get you come to the tv and say joe's new special is like i mean you're leading me into this right yeah no no we heard from his reps like joe like you know he's like he'll have a great time he just needs to get to he needs to hit his spot he has certain things that he requires of you and otherwise he's like down to talk he'll talk about all you know killing other podcast hosts he'll talk about all the dommer shit like he'll like get really deep into it but like you do have to and i guess this is the fourth time or something
Starting point is 00:56:45 we've had to talk about it what are you doing are you going crazy on stage are you going nuts pretty much it's basically all it's basically like wasn't um lockdown crazy this is wasn't that was that was crazy time? It was so weird. Basically for, you know, 56 minutes. Yeah, that's about it. No, it's got good jokes, so it's pretty kind of, it's a little bit on the goofier side. What's the URL?
Starting point is 00:57:18 I don't know. That's fun to think about because we haven't posted it yet, so what? Is it adults only? Do I need an account? Do I need like an age ascribed to the account? No, no. No, it's pretty good. It's for kids.
Starting point is 00:57:32 There's a short instance of adult language, but other than that, it's pretty. What is it? What are we working with? Which one of the four horsemen we bring it in? Right? You got to tune in to find out. You got to watch to find out. Oh, hell, this guy, he knows me.
Starting point is 00:57:49 No, I'm going to have to watch. I want to hear the swears. Joe, can I pitch a URL title for you? Sure. What would be a good URL? Dom and Dommer. It's not. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. dom and domer it's not goodbye goodbye
Starting point is 00:58:06 that was a hate gum podcast

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