Hollywood Handbook - Julie Klausner, Our Freaky Flix Friend
Episode Date: September 18, 2019QUEENIE and The Boys make a horror anthology series. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/THEBOYS code: THEBOYS), Harry's (www.harrys.com/handbook), and Quip (www....getquip.com/theboys).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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this is a head gum podcast
just zipping around zooming and zipping with lewis black and he is freaking out
And he is freaking out.
Yeah.
He is getting red and pissed.
You know the backstory there.
The backstory to him getting pissed?
Yeah.
No.
He is mad. The backstory.
Yes.
That's the backstory? He is one of these guys who came out of his mommy's womb just mad.
So the backstory is that he was born mad.
You ever see Mad Max?
Have you seen it?
Have you seen Mad Max? What's the question? Have Have you seen Mad Max?
What's the question?
Have you ever seen Mad Max?
No.
Yeah, well, okay.
Then I can't make my point.
Okay.
Well, you know, I'll say it anyway.
If you watch that movie, he's really not that mad compared to Lewis Black.
Okay, that's helpful.
That is helpful.
It's not a backstory.
What do you want from me?
When you say, when I talk about how Lewis is mad and pissed,
and you say, have you heard the backstory?
And then you say he is mad.
Basically the same thing that I just said.
And then you're giving me examples of who he's mad compared to.
None of that is a backstory.
I know this person.
You're leaving out your part of this, which is I go, have you heard the backstory?
And you go, the backstory?
To him being mad Matt you're like all
fucking uppity and pissed about it
I was right wasn't I
no you weren't
it turned out that I was right
no
welcome to Hollywood Handbook
insider's guide to dropping
names in the back door
you sit for this one
and then we will have you in the next episode.
You're going to be in the next episode.
This episode's about Louis Black and the Black story.
Ugh.
Dang.
Damn it.
You've got me so riled up.
Oh.
The backstory to how angry he is, because I was going to say he was born mad.
Yes.
And then you got him zipping around.
Uh-huh.
Right?
Yes.
And that's reminding him of how he was the original lead singer of the Squirrel Nut Zippers.
Yes.
Oh.
And he was kicked out for what?
For being too mad.
Not old-timey enough.
So, again, it's not a a backstory because he's pissed already yes
and that story here in the afterlife so we had to zip around so fast to get his hair this is not
your episode oh sorry yes and i'm very excited to have you for an episode in the future probably
happening right afterwards uh Uh-huh.
Yeah, I can tell.
Is it fucking contagious over there?
Are you affected by it?
Everything is like the backstory?
Hayes and I are on the-
We're on the-
Yeah, I can tell.
You know what?
Let's do it now.
Let's do the Julie episode now.
Let's do the Julie episode.
Oh, don't do me any flavors.
No, yeah.
You do the Julie episode and I'll just watch.
Julie, welcome back to the show. Hollywood Handbook.
Everyone at home was, it's a Julie episode.
It's Queenie.
Yes.
Yes, Queenie.
Queenie's triumphant return.
She's the only one who can keep up with the boys.
Shut up.
And sometimes outpace them.
Who says shut up?
Me.
You said shut up to your fans.
I'm saying shut up to everyone.
I'm in the pocket.
Probably.
Julie, what brings you to this town?
It's like the time where new shows debut.
Okay.
And I like to drive around and look at the billboards.
There's a really interesting one
about bradley whitford and you called him bradley cooper earlier i didn't um i did yes
really you were asking me about different shows yes and you listed three of them yes and the
third one you said is it the one
with Bradley Cooper
where he's got a scarf on
and it says like
they need him
more than he needs them
and I said
I wish
because
that would be
very interesting to me
if Bradley Cooper
was doing like a multi-cam
I wish I worked
for that show
well both
uh huh
so you didn't correct me
until we were on the air
well I didn't know what
how many billboards are there in los angeles of bradley cooper wearing a scarf in front of a
fucking choir well there's none but you didn't even say choir you said he has a scarf on and
the poster says they need him right you and then sort of you
trailed off and i thought well i know that's not a show but it's not enough information
asshole idiot hey if i if me quoting you but said bradley cooper if me quoting you is slander
perhaps you should choose your words more carefully. Did I say Bradley Cooper?
I wasn't here for any of this. Did I say Bradley Cooper?
You don't remember?
I did?
I thought you were talking about some Bradley Cooper show.
I didn't know that.
Oh my God.
David.
David.
This is so embarrassing.
Bradley Whitford.
And it says they need him.
Yeah, but they spell it H-Y-M-N.
They need him.
Right, because he's. They need him. They need him. They need him yeah but they spell it h-y-m-n they need him right because he's they need him they need him they need him right and then there's a choir and they look like they're either having
fun or frustrated and then he's the opposite okay he's stuffy i think in the show i don't know why
he wears that scarf all the time what other billboards uhboards did you come to see?
Did you see that one
where the lady's like,
she just got a new family
and she told her old family
to fucking
fuck off
and screw themselves.
New family?
Yes.
Fucking sit and spin.
What is that one about?
It sounds like a lot of fun.
I saw the one for the unicorn.
Boom.
I saw the one. the unicorn. Boom.
I saw the one.
The unicorn is like, this guy is missing.
He's single.
The only one.
And he has the only one who's missing?
Well.
Well, maybe he's not missing.
Maybe it's like for a good time.
The unicorn is like.
He's single.
Unique corn.
He, what?
Well, that's how I remember.
It is like that.
Well. How do you remember it?
The horn looks a bit like corn on the cob
Doesn't it?
It's pretty unique
Being in that place on a head
That's fairly unique
For corn to be there
That is unique
You must admit that's unique
Julie you must.
Please.
To have a corn cob in the center of your forehead or something that looks like what?
For a horse?
Yes.
And then there's one called Bob.
Is it Bob?
It's Bob.
Yes.
And now she's very gun shy.
Abby Shola.
About the bee names.
She's scared. Oh, I see. Andishola, yeah. About the bee names. She's scared.
Oh, I see.
And I hate seeing this.
And I'm not even going to say what you originally called Abishola.
What did I say?
Abiola.
I'm on two new medications.
Hey, man.
One is for my skin.
They seem like they're working.
And the other is for my brain.
So imagine what we'd be hearing without that one.
Your skin looks great.
Thank you.
Bob Hart's Abishola.
Does he?
I did watch the trailer.
He definitely does.
This is Mike from Mike and Molly.
Starts shipping his nurse.
How is he different than Mike?
He has mustache.
And he is somehow 20 years older,
even though Mike only went off the air like a few years ago.
Right.
And Abishola, he will not leave her alone and stop talking to her.
And he goes to her work and tries to give her presents.
Not in the first episode, but it is definitely heading in that direction.
Okay.
And it is.
Funny?
It is funny, yes.
Okay.
Very funny show.
Okay.
Well, it's time to talk Stumptown at long last.
The brand of justice that Stumptown is going and doing on these people.
What's Stumptown?
Is that the coffee?
What was that sound? these people. What's Stumptown? Is that the coffee?
What was that sound?
I interpreted it as
frustration.
What did
I do to you?
What did I do to either
of you?
You said
that we're doing the billboard stuff.
You said you had eight minutes of billboard stuff.
I never said such a thing.
You told us we had eight minutes and you said, just sit back and watch the show.
Devin, is that true?
No.
No, I can't.
Thank you.
In good conscience agree that that's the case.
That did not happen.
What?
Except you called it a Brad board.
Do you have against me?
What did I ever do to either of you that wasn't either kind or constructive?
It's got to be one or the other.
No, I'm not saying it has to be.
I'm saying, what have I ever done to, like, well, maybe not annoy.
That's probably not the right word.
But, like, hurt you.
I have never been cruel to you.
I've never been rude to you that doesn't
mean that's true that's all i'm saying yeah what am i saying you you hurt sean though is
kindness you build him up that's not my problem that's not my problem yeah you're if you're kind
to me it's freaking stings. It feels like needles.
Sharp needles and knives.
Ow, that kills.
And pincers.
Wow, that's so interesting.
Yeah.
It is.
You don't think that's interesting?
You ever see Hellraiser?
Yes.
How is it?
It's ahead of its time as far as all the cool like incest.
Because I know that like incest is really popular in porno now.
Starting to get, yeah, starting to become big.
And that's really interesting.
The stepmothers are doing it for themselves.
And for their green family.
I thought you were talking about the stepfathers, the UCB improv team.
You thought that?
Yes, but then I remembered that my skin looks great,
and it's because this really big dose of antibiotics.
Brain antibiotics.
No, no, no.
They don't make those.
You've got to wonder what was in that brain.
What was?
Before the antibiotics came in.
All I have done is been kind to you.
I will just remind you, I've only been kind.
Only been kind to both of you.
It's all felt neutral.
Everything my whole life.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
It's felt neutral?
You remember you came on this show with Tom and you did an impression of me.
I did an impression of Hayes.
Okay.
But we never got to do.
But you co-signed Tom's impression of me.
You did co-sign it.
I didn't.
And we never got to do how was your week.
We never got to do how was your week.
That's true because I didn't know you then.
What's the score now?
It's like 15 to zero.
Julie,
you did know me.
I did know you back in the day, but you didn't live here.
You did know me.
You didn't live in the same, I guess that's not fair,
because I did come out here and interviewed Jack Hay and stuff.
In New York?
I did live in New York.
When I was doing my podcast regularly?
When did you move out here?
You son of a bitch.
2009.
Look at your shifty, pretty eyes.
2009.
Both of you have light eyes and fair complexion, and it drives me insane.
It drives me crazy.
All I do is see boys who, they didn't dislike me in high school.
I just didn't exist to them.
And I feel like I come on this show, and you are actively cruel.
Is that true?
Yes. Yes, it is? Yes, it is.
The problem is, or maybe it's not a problem.
Actively cruel?
I think it's funny.
I think you're both very funny.
What's Hellraiser
sound like?
Yeah, what's...
Well, it raises...
Peenhead, huh?
Yes, Peenhead.
What's it sound? Devin, pull up Hellraiser. His name. Peenhead, huh? Yes, Peenhead. What's it sound? Devin Poe of Hellraiser.
Okay.
His name's Peenhead.
There's a lot of like BDSM.
Oh, I found this.
I'm going to send this link to you.
I found this really fun.
What is this?
Dirty stuff?
It's a woman on ukulele singing about BDSM.
Okay.
Seems like an inappropriate instrument
for that kind of content.
It's caused me lots of pain.
Mm-hmm.
This is what he sounds like now.
You have to tell me ahead of time.
If it's Garfunkel or Oates,
you have to tell me ahead of time.
You have a trigger.
We're going to hear what he sounds like coming up.
If it's Joey Deschanel, you have to tell me.
I will.
This is a portion of, it says best part of hellraiser okay it's scary i'm scared it doesn't
say what he's what what does he sound like i don't know if peen head is gonna be in this one
oh here it comes
y'all need any peens that's what he sounds like
that's the best part
that's crazy
shut it off
oh yes
y'all need any peens
that's surprising
it's almost Halloween we're gonna talk about horror movies
that was the email
yes we are
okay that was the email. Yes, we are.
Okay.
That was the email.
Email.
What horror movies really freak your bean?
And be honest.
Freak my bean?
Yeah.
My clit?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Sean just acted like he saw his mother split beef and throwing up.
At the same time, the idea of me being sexual in any way to, I'm going to say both of you, but especially Sean.
Look how he's still recovering. I look, look how he's still recovering.
I mean, I know he's still recovering.
We all know that he's open about that.
He's still recovering from me mentioning my, the only part of my body that's just for pleasure.
And it's true.
I, I accept that every other time we've had so many female guests come on and just
Is Sean on strike right now?
All we do is just say
my clit and we just
constantly don't react at all
sexualize and explore
Here's what's freaking my bean lately
I'm really excited about
But you uniquely
I refuse to engage i'm really excited about the sequel to escape room okay
me too who's the bad guy in that um the room itself the room is room is a guy? Well, no, it's like a presence.
Like it's a, you know, like the way like haunted house movies, like there's a presence to it.
Okay.
I've never been to an escape room, but I understand you guys do that a lot out here.
Yeah, because I did it once with Tom.
Yeah, so it's all you talk about.
Or all I talk about, I guess.
Anyway.
I've been wanting to go back.
Why?
I'd like to try it again.
The same one?
No.
What was the theme of it?
Are there themes?
Yeah.
Was this one Alice in Wonderland?
I wish.
Was it?
Now when I say I wish that time, it's because I wish it was Alice in Wonderland.
Julie, that's good.
Because Bradley Cooper is wrong and I meant Bradley Whitford.
Alice in Wonderland, scary horror version.
Because actually some of that stuff is insanely fucked up.
They are chopping.
They are, like, there's drugs.
Yeah.
Smoking drugs.
The caterpillar.
Acting weird. What are they chopping? The head. Freaking the queen. Smoking drugs. The caterpillar. Acting weird.
What are they chopping?
The head.
Freaking the queen.
Oh, right.
Queenie.
Queenie.
She's chopping off the heads.
Uh-huh.
The listener.
Yes, Queenie.
Queenie.
Yes.
I'll mark it down on my board.
You know what?
You guys were mean to me before that.
Queenie.
Yes?
Let's start over.
I'm just razzing.
The razzies are coming up.
You guys excited about the razzies?
I knew you'd be able to do it.
The razzies are at the end of March.
Sorry.
Sorry, Sean.
You were winding up and starting again.
I really got in the way of you
pulling the bow back.
I really fucked with your quiver.
Is that another vaginal thing?
I'm so hostile.
I'm so hostile.
Let's start from the beginning.
Hi, guys.
That's what I was trying to do.
Let's do it.
I was doing the horror movie.
Yeah, great.
A scary one where it's like Alice and her friends.
It's like Mary Elizabeth Winsteadead is a millennial named Alice.
Right, yes.
And she goes through...
She follows a bunny from Donnie Darko.
Oh, that's fucked up.
Thank you.
And I'm already fucking freaking out.
Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?
That's terrifying.
I think that's what the bunny said.
I'm not positive.
Maybe it was mask. Maybe it was mask.
Maybe it was mask.
The mask?
Human mask.
Or mask.
I think it was probably human suit.
Maybe it was suit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she has like all these friends and they're going on vacation and she starts, she does
a robo trip.
Can it be a, be a Project Birthright?
Yes, she goes on Birthright.
Yes, thank you.
Project Birthright, yeah.
She's robo-tripping.
And it's a teen tour.
Oh, and can the Gaza Strip be Wonderland?
Yeah.
Why do you make that face?
I was going to ask if the Gaza Strip was another vaginal thing.
Not anymore, it's not.
That's since I went to the
place called Pink Taco on Sunset.
He's stuck in a loop.
I know.
I'm trying to prove that I'm cool with it.
I'm totally comfortable with genitals.
Do you want to hear that song?
On the show? Yeah. Are we allowed to hear that song? On the show?
Yeah.
Are we allowed to do that?
It's someone else's content.
But we can.
It's a YouTube song.
I don't know why that makes a difference.
It's on an album.
Is it sincere?
Yes.
Okay.
Just play the first like 10 seconds of it.
Yeah, for sure.
Is that okay?
Yeah, you can get away with 30 seconds.
You can always edit it out.
I know how much you guys do in terms of editing.
Exactly.
Oh, okay.
With the riff on it?
No, but we have to, there has to be a critical element to our appreciation of the song.
Okay.
Okay.
First things first, BDSM is an acronym that we break down into three separate sections.
Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, and that's all three.
As far as ideals, well, that's not quite black and white, but here's two more fucking acronyms to commit to your mind.
She's swearing at me.
Oh, thanks.
You swear at me?
I'm trying to learn.
I'm getting a taste of it, though.
Come on. Yeah, I guess
I deserve it. I'm a filthy little worm.
Everybody needs all these crazy tricks
now. Whatever happened to humping for a
couple minutes and going to sleep?
I'm sorry.
That's not good enough
for you?
It's pretty cool.
Humping? Yeah.
What happened?
Where'd that go?
People have too much time.
That is
what it is. It's these people.
You get a hobby.
What do I do with the time?
I have to go to the store, get the freaking smacking stick.
Buy the freaking sweet tickler.
The smacking stick.
Yes.
The smacking tickler.
The sweet tickler.
That's what it is.
It's just about filling the day.
It might be about consumerism.
It is 100% about consumerism. That's a big part
of it.
And the corporation. Do you guys
celebrate Buy Nothing Day?
Buy Nothing Day. Yeah.
I don't know about it.
It's a
day where you don't buy anything? Then yes.
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Hollywood Handbook.
Hollywood Handbook.
We were figuring out the horror movie.
We have to do a horror anthology.
We have to do a horror anthology series.
Donnie Darko is the
not the Mad Hatter.
He's the White Rabbit.
Who's the Mad Hatter? Who wears a's Donnie Darko's White Rabbit. He's the White Rabbit. And who's the Mad Hatter?
Who wears a stupid hat?
Who's a bad guy?
Well, Freddy Krueger has a pretty stupid hat. I don't know if we could just use Freddy Krueger.
But Donnie Darko's rabbit is okay.
That's freaky, man.
Okay, so Freddy Krueger is the Mad Hatter.
And who's his...
He wears a hat.
He's one of the only guys like this who is wearing a hat.
He's got a hat on.
In every second.
What's the Mad Hatter's apprentice's name?
Oh, sure.
The March Hare.
The March Hare.
The March Hare.
The March Hare.
March Hare.
The March Hare.
The March Hare.
The March Hare.
What's his game?
I'm not really focused on him.
He's moving the tea.
And I don't think the audience is either.
Submissive.
Okay.
Cool.
God, the Mad Hatter was ahead of his time spilling all that tea.
That's Freddy Krueger doing that
Want some tea bitch
He looks sickening
And then he
I don't know
Don't look at me like that
No I'm
Ready to collaborate
I'm ready to collaborate
Who's the March Hare
Oh gosh Is there something like March collaborate. Who's the March Hare?
Oh, gosh.
Is there something like March Madness?
I mean, the March Hare, for you to focus on the March Hare area specifically, we have already found a scary rabbit.
And now you're forcing us to find a second one.
It's so hard.
What you're making us do is so difficult.
Sean already came up with the Donnie Darko rabbit. That's the scariest one. It's so hard. What you're making us do is so difficult. Sean already came up with the Donnie Darko rabbit.
Yeah.
That's the scariest one.
Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?
What about the sun from Breaking Bad?
It's a psycho bunny from the line of Underpants.
Oh, psycho bunny.
Psycho bunny.
Nice, dude.
You don't like the sun from Breaking Bad?
Why not?
Well, what?
He doesn't feel like the March Hare to me.
To me, he could maybe play the March Hare.
Right.
But I haven't seen that from him.
Oh, I see.
You didn't know who the March Hare was.
Psycho Bunny.
I've seen Psycho Bunny act like the March Hare.
What's Psycho Bunny?
I've seen the Happy Tree Friends behave in some pretty mysterious ways.
Oh, those are fucked up.
Those are like those
fucked up cartoons.
And also that little bunny
on the sticker who's smiling
but saying like,
sometimes I think bad thoughts.
You know the bunny
that I'm talking about?
Yes.
Do you know this bunny?
I don't, I don't.
Is he like Calvin Pissing
kind of attitude?
No.
Not exactly.
He's smiling in a much like more...
Sometimes I think bad thoughts. Oh, he's devilish? much like more sometimes I think
bad thoughts
oh he's devil
he's devilish
yeah
not to look at him
but when you hear
some of the stuff
he's saying
pull up this bunny
you know the bunny
I'm talking about
this is dark man
yeah
so that guy's
the March Hare
I would not want to be
hanging out with him
as the March Hare
Psycho Bunny
and Freddy Krueger
is the freaking
Mad Hatter
okay oof have another cup of tea bitch with him as the March Hare. Psycho Bunny? And Freddy Krueger is the freaking Mad Hatter.
Okay.
Oof.
Have another cup of tea, bitch.
And it's Freddy Krueger saying that to me.
Is there a scary queen
from anything?
Is there a scary cat?
Is there a caterpillar?
How do we map this genre?
The Cheshire Cat almost is the scary cat, huh?
Because I've seen him drawn where his teeth are so sharp.
Can it be James Corden?
Oh, it's James Corden from Into the Woods.
Well, from Cats.
He was the butcher in Into the Woods.
But James Corden's in Cats and I
I tried to
mess me up
take a swig
with the wrong
I messed myself up
out
well
he's in Cats
he's
he is
yes
have you guys done that
as a teaser freezer
no no
it's silent
largely
largely visual
there's not a single
there's a song being sung it's a song song yeah we not a single there's a song
being sung
song song
yeah
we could pretend
we're watching the trailer
and just play the song
it might save us
a little money
we gotta move
so like this is
what we're doing
is the new AHS
this is the new AHS
okay
because they do
the 80s one
this year
now we gotta think about
like what's the
isn't that Pose isn't American Horror Story 80s one this year. Now I got to think about like, what's the next one?
Isn't American Horror Story 80s?
Isn't American Horror Story Pose?
Yeah.
Help me.
Like Reagan and everything.
You know what I mean?
Pose is Reagan is happening then?
Well, it's like the 80s horror story is Pose.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that Pose is probably more grounded than some of what they do on American Horror Story.
Okay.
Where there's almost a supernatural element to some of the ghoulishness.
Huh.
Yeah.
And did we find the bunny?
I found a creepy bunny.
I don't know.
Oh, God.
You wouldn't know it.
You wouldn't know it.
Let me see.
This one's pretty scary, though. Is it from a sticker. You would know it. Let me see. This one's pretty scary, though.
Is it from a sticker?
It's a sticker.
Let me see it.
Yeah, internet's being dumb.
Here we go.
That sucks.
I mean, this guy's pretty creepy.
No, no, not even close.
Oh, I don't like that.
I don't like it either.
I don't like that.
I don't like it one bit.
No, that's too creepy.
This one almost looks cute, but you can tell that he's completely deranged.
Bosh ruined his blaster.
It's in pieces.
Good boy. Is that allowed?
Of course it is, because
he wants common sense gun laws
and he's taking the first step by
dismantling his laser ray blaster.
Is it this guy?
What's this? He should not be eating
that. That's plastic.
Oh, boy. Bosh, this looks He should not be eating that. What's that? That's plastic. Oh, Bosh.
Oh, boy.
Bosh, this looks like it could be from just about anything.
Have you been eating plastic, my friend?
Say the truth.
He took out the middle of it and chewed up.
Oh, that was in the middle of it?
I think so.
What's your favorite classic horror flick?
Oh, yes.
I love this question.
Rosemary's Baby?
Say the truth.
That is the truth.
Say the truth when I ask you.
Rosemary's Baby.
Why is that not the truth?
You think I'm lying?
You think something trashier?
Just make sure you're saying the truth.
I am.
And if you're not, we'll know.
Okay. That's your favorite truth. I am. And if you're not, we'll know. Okay.
That's your favorite one.
I think so.
She's saying the truth.
Okay, and already it's sort of coming apart.
She's saying the truth.
Why is it coming apart?
I'm just going to walk away.
I think she's saying the truth, right?
What are you talking about?
How do we modernize that?
Okay, The Shining.
Oh, no.
And she admitted it. How do we modernize the shining oh no and she admitted how do we modernize rosemary it's
out of the shining but it's at a freaking airbnb oh my god that's such a good idea
and the old lady who runs the airbnb is the rabbit from donnie darko
the guy oh it's like though this might be outdated
instead of his finger
talking to him
it's an app
it is
oh it's like
he has a fidget spinner
on his finger
he's got a fidget spinner
fidget spinner
fidget spinner
I said it
and tried to
at the same time
can the
um
can like
Jack Nicholson
be a blogger
oh
yes that is very now.
I thought you were going to say blob.
Well, I didn't.
No, but.
What?
Think about that.
Can Jack Nicholson be a blob?
That's insane.
No, Jack Nicholson is blogging for Salon.
And he needs to get away.
He has to write a think piece about AOC.
Yes, he's doing like a whole series about AOC and he has to get away
to
where are people going now?
We're in New York
when people are just like
this weekend
I'm going to blank.
There's like
matcha cafes.
Okay, that is
absolutely not
what I'm
alluding to
at all.
Okay.
You mean like,
like what kind of cafe do you want?
Yeah.
I don't mean any kind of like local business.
That's not even close.
Well,
rainforest,
rainforest cafe is,
it doesn't feel local because it's sort of the,
if you remember where we started on rainforest,
we were talking about an Airbnb location.
The Lion King is not a place.
Okay.
Okay.
I think I get what you're going for.
What is a location where people in New York, they say, I'm getting away for the weekend.
I am going to.
Oh, the peanut butter falcon.
What is that?
Yes. They say, hey, I'm going to, I'm getting out of here. I'm going to go see the peanut butter falcon this weekend. I am going to. Oh, oh, oh. The Peanut Butter Falcon. What is that? Yes. They say, hey, I'm
going to, I'm getting out of here. I'm going to go see
the Peanut Butter Falcon this weekend. Right, yes.
That's a play? It's a movie.
It's a movie. Okay.
Shia LaBeouf. Alright.
I like to go to the movies and forget about
where I am. So he's going to the movies to write
two hours.
And the Airbnb
is a movie.
Theater.
Duh.
Oh, God.
That'd be fucking sick.
Like a haunted movie theater?
Oh, shit.
And the freaking creepies are coming out of the screen.
It could be one of those movie theaters where you have to have, like,
reserved seating in advance.
Oh, that sucks.
The last
thing you think is, I should have booked a different
seat.
As the
creepies come out of the screen
and dismantle you.
Oh,
shit, man. That's a
pretty good shining.
Who are the twins though
oh the
light twins
and yeah
like
football on TV
shots at Gina Lee
and twins
and like and the kid
is standing at the end of the hall and his he
sees the twins and his finger
goes up
like an erection
finger gets boner
and the fidget spinner spins
on it's own
is that what your balls do
I know
I have no relationship
with my sexuality
since what since I walked into the doorway I know. I have no relationship with my sexuality.
Since what?
Since I walked into the doorway? Did he say since?
Did he say since?
Like I was walking onto a yacht.
Two minutes of humping.
What's wrong with that?
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Yeah, really kind.
What a kind, constructive person.
No, she never had done an impression of me.
That was constructive because we were riffing. No, she's never done an impression of me. That was constructive because we were riffing.
No, she's never done an impression of me.
We weren't talking about that at all.
Jeez Louise.
That was more like Hayes' Mack Weldon character.
Why is there going to be a fan?
I do end up having to do those mostly by myself, though.
Who is another one of your favorite?
The guys in it are in a horror flick.
My favorite creepies.
Yes.
Who are some of your favorite creepies from horror flick history?
I don't understand the question.
Imagine these creepies coming out of the screen and it would have to suck if you're sitting there.
And that's how,
you know,
if you've landed on a good,
the new age S season that we are working on is updated classic flicks.
Right.
The new Tim Burton, Alice in Wonderland, updated, check.
Right.
The Shining, check, did it.
Yeah.
Now we have to do another one.
The baby one?
Brosemary's baby?
Brosemary's, so it's like-
What did I say?
Is it like a Manny?
It's a Manny.
Oh, it's a Manny. It's Freddie Manny. Oh, it's a Manny.
It's Freddie Prinze Jr. is the Manny from Fred's.
Right.
And he has an, oh, and so there's a surrogate?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And it's a Bruce Willis from Surrogates.
I don't know what that is.
Is that a movie?
Oh, Surrogates is a movie.
What's it about?
These freaking
RoboZords.
Yeah.
Essentially, everyone is
RoboZord. Plug in the machine.
It's like, you know Simone?
Simulation 1?
No.
You don't know Simone? Okay.
No. Wow.
You know, okay. You know Donnie Darko you know the you're the fembots from austin powers no yeah everyone in the world imagine is fembots
what are you imagining that now it's not that's not i don't think that is what who's at the wheel
is happening in this movie you're seeing fembots can't drive oh yeah the stepford fembots
what if it's um i'm trying to think of now like really creepy creepies.
Slimer?
Did you ever see the creators?
What?
The creators.
What?
Creators.
I don't know what that is.
How about the ghoulies?
That's my name, you know.
The ghoulies?
Yes. The ghoulies on one of the vhs covers in my video store
one of the ghoulies i think ghoulies too is coming out of the toilet bowl no thanks
imagine imagine sitting down and feeling vulnerable
and the ghoulies are there man those creepies come out of the screen even if it didn't bite you
honestly people think oh what if it bit me even if it just rubbed up against you
dude we're just watched dude even if it just yelled as loud as it could yes it doesn't even
have to touch you even even honestly even if it spoke in a normal voice. Yelled like, yelled ah, or yelled a word?
I'd probably pick a word if I wanted to really freak somebody out.
And what would the word, what would it be?
Hmm.
David.
David is the word?
Jeez.
David!
David!
What about in a normal voice? That would freak you out if you David if it just said David David David that would be so freaky why this why are people only so obsessed with
whether the ghoulies bites them
bites their butts they're really underestimating the psychological
aspects of having someone just yell
at your butt while you're sitting in the toilet.
Or even talk to it.
Yeah. Or even just try to start
a quiet conversation
with it.
Damn.
Imagine the questions you'd have after that.
Like what?
Well, did this come out of my butt or out of the
toilet? You knew it would come out of my butt or out of the toilet?
You knew it would come out of the toilet.
If it was talking to my butt.
You'd feel it if it came out of your butt.
Does it believe that my butt has the ability to talk back?
And does it?
Who's David?
Who's David?
That would be number one for me.
Oh, for me, that's four or five.
Really?
Is David somewhere else in the bathroom
where I can't see him?
Am I David?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have I been David this whole time?
Bosh is really
annoying everyone. He's so cute.
I can't even handle how cute he is.
Everyone's being too loud. He's so cute.
Bosh has started calling
people, he has a new word for people which is if they're, he thinks they're being knuckleheads, he calls them knuckies. Bosh has started calling people, he has a new word for people, which is if they're,
he thinks they're being knuckleheads, he calls them Nuckies.
Oh, like Steve Buscemi on that fabulous show.
I guess so, but he keeps saying, he keeps being like, get a little of these Nuckies.
And to me, it sounds like it might be inappropriate.
Why?
I don't know.
Something feels wrong about it.
Yeah.
Yo, and you raise your eyebrows as if to say,
I wonder where your son got such a judgmental.
I was raising my eyebrows because that cord was moving
and I was worried he wasn't eating it.
Hi.
Rosemary's Bay.
Oh.
Yeah, that's good.
That is the new version.
That's interesting and cool.
That we're doing is the new version.
So she just has a bad boyfriend?
A devilish boyfriend?
Oh, yeah.
When Bae is Satan.
Yeah.
And then he goes, he has his zaddy's eyes.
It's all...
And Devin clapped, and it's a it's it's all
and Devin clapped
and it's a freaking
wrap
it's all
Instagram stories
the whole thing
takes place
the whole movie
is Instagram stories
Instagram stories
and it's one of those
things where they
start a story
and it like
finishes in the next one
oh yes
well you see
when
the screen first starts it's so many dots at the top and you
kind of track where you are yeah what's going on for me on my phone what are you doing is this Is this DeVereger? The Ghoulies, what is another of some of these favorite...
You called me by name.
Yes, some of these favorite scary and what are some of the most frightening flicks?
You keep asking me about horror movies.
Yeah.
And you keep asking me about creepies.
I want you to help with the show.
Well, often the most frightening flicks are starring just the most nefarious creepies
you ever did lay eyes on.
The most sinister creepies imagined
often populate these freaky flicks.
You know what I think is even scary?
What I think is really scary
is you don't even know what the guy looks like
until you do.
The Bye Bye Man?
What? You're talking Bye Byebye man the bye-bye man yeah what's that not a fan of all our stuff
masterclass julie yikes horror anthology series we have created this premise out of nowhere
mind you.
And we have turned it into something where we have updated all some of these, some of the most like.
Iconic.
Among all the flicks.
Yeah.
Some of the spooky. Freakiest flicks.
Yes.
Yeah.
Time at the movies.
What is another one of these scary parts?
Frankenstein.
Okay.
Why are you not like that?
You want to be more modern?
It just takes me back to when I was not young.
No, but I was having a lot of fun.
I wasn't young, but I was having a hell of a time.
Speak on that.
Yeah, that was one of the things we would do.
So, Frankenstein, I guess, is technically a movie.
What is an updated version?
Well, Max Landis did the updated version, right?
Am I wrong?
Of his life?
No, he did Frankenstein.
What did he do?
Victor Frankenstein?
His dad created a monster
and he like went around and...
Did he do Victor Frankenstein?
Did it ever come out?
I think so.
He wrote it, right?
Did he just text it
in parts to women he dated?
To get like another abusive line of dialogue.
Oh, baby, I was just being Frankenstein
No baby don't misunderstand me
I was just being Frankenstein
Come on you know I got
I got these crazy screenplay ideas in my head
Sometimes it comes out in text form
I'm just being Frankenstein
Practicing my Frankenstein dialogue
Victor Frankenstein, practicing my Frankenstein dialogue.
Victor Frankenstein.
I heard an interview with, I can't remember if it's that one or if it's I, Frankenstein,
where Frankenstein is played by a normal-looking Aaron Eckert.
And I heard him on Howard Stern. He's normal-looking now, okay.
Not great news for me.
And so he's on Howard Stern. Howard Stern. He's normal looking now. Okay. Not great news for me. And so he's on Howard Stern.
Howard Stern's going.
So, you know, you're playing Frankenstein,
but it's not how I'm used to seeing him.
You know, you don't really look like how I think of Frankenstein.
And he goes, how do you know that?
How do you know what Frankenstein looks like?
Starts just like really pushing back.
So you know what Frankenstein looks like?
How would you know that?
How do you know I look, you're saying I don't look like Frankenstein.
But how do you know that?
Sounds like an actor railing against a system that says you're too this, you're too that.
You're too handsome.
And that's what I'm hearing.
Time to open up the casting.
Of Frankenstein?
South Asian woman.
Which one?
Quick, name five.
I'm just saying.
Can they have worked with my mom?
I'm just saying, like, you know, how do you know? I'm saying, and that's you know how do you know
I'm saying and that's what Aaron is saying as well
what does Frankenstein look like
what does Frankenstein look like
how do you know that
he looks like Herman Munster
that's what I thought
Herman Munster is disgusting
he is the grossest
like he's always like twitching his lips
and his forehead is like way
too high and he has that black
lipstick on and I think
he's the grossest guy
and he's got this like beautiful wife
but you still would
I wouldn't
I would not I'd sooner with grandpa
Al Lewis
you would you'd rather grandpa I would not. I'd sooner with Grandpa Al Lewis.
In a heartbeat. You'd rather Grandpa?
Yes, than Herman Munster?
Here's an amazing, crazy thing that I heard about Herman Munster.
So one of their next door neighbors or something is like this beautiful bottle blonde.
And they think that she is basically like a disgusting monster.
When like you are saying they are so ugly.
The monsters look like fucking shit.
Herman looks like shit.
Herman Munster looks like shit. Herman Munster looks like
shit. At least in the
Addams Family, she had a Latin
lover she'd spread for every
night. Herman comes out
of the screen. He is
disgusting. I'm like,
this sucks. Yeah, it
sucks. He's always
a close-up, too, because he did
so much face twitching.
Yeah, you got to capture that.
Let's get a single on Herman.
He's gross.
If he opened his mouth and black liquid just fell out, would you be surprised?
I mean on
monsters no
probably just finished
doing something with the creature
from a certain lagoon
and what if that
is his cub what if the hand
from
did you say that was his cum
yeah cause you didn't get it.
That's a way homer.
I thought the black...
Saved you the trip.
Why does his cum come out of his mouth?
Because he blasted off in there.
The freaking
creature from the certain
lagoon. Yes, keep going.
Blasts in Herman's mouth.
They're having fun like, fun together?
Those two?
The shape of water.
And that's a problem for you?
I'm an ally.
Okay, fine.
Anybody who wants to do anything with the creature from a certain lagoon,
man, have at it.
Well, I'm an animal rights advocate
okay and I back
myself into a corner
luckily I'm already done
with the show
that was apparent when you picked up your phone
and said what's on this
for me what did you say when you picked up
your phone I don't fucking remember
let's talk about the next one Julie
what do we want out of the next one?
Let's plan now.
Something like the next show, you mean?
Yeah.
We could do a TikTok.
The next time Julie is here, we could do a TikTok.
That could be good.
A fun Q&A.
Or we could do a Frank Zappa album.
Okay.
Oh, look at Posh with his...
He stopped doing it.
Chase's tail for a second.
So freaking cute.
I'm worried about this, what he was eating.
What is this?
It doesn't look like he swallowed any of it.
No, yeah, there's all the extra pieces I threw out.
So I think he did just chew it up.
Great.
But it's a heavy piece of metal and plastic.
Why would they put that in the belly of a toy?
I don't know.
He's okay.
I think he's okay.
Yeah, I just love him so much.
I love him too.
He's the most lovable guy.
We could do a TikTok.
Did you hear that idea?
I did, yeah.
Did you?
I didn't know exactly how to deal with it.
What do you think, Sean?
About the TikTok idea?
Well, I think it's bad.
No, about...
I think it's not even close...
To?
To something that could sustain even a pitch of what we might do for an episode of the show.
And we've done almost nothing for every episode.
And I think TikTok's not enough.
You're shooting it down.
No.
I'm happy to hear more.
What's the TikTok about?
Is it a cursed TikTok?
I've never seen a TikTok.
Is it a cursed TikTok?
I had a feeling and I didn't want to accuse you of that.
But when you pitched doing a TikTok, I did think maybe you'd never seen one.
Never seen one.
What is it?
A vine?
It is.
Okay, then let's move on.
Jeez Louise.
Both of you in unison.
It is.
And then they.
We could do a vine.
Bring vine back.
That's an idea.
Yeah.
That doesn't upset you that he just said that tiktoks and vines are the
same thing right and then he pitched doing a thing that he just said is the same thing as what you
pitched yeah but it doesn't bother me because i'm happy he's participating to be back. It's good to have you back.
Devin, what's up, buddy?
What's up, dude? What's going on?
What's up? How's it going?
Devin, DevDog.
What's your freaky flicks? Okay, well I guess I'm not
fucking here anymore, so I guess
I'll just go open a
friggin' vein.
Jeez, I'll just go drain my veingin vein. Jeez. I'll just go
drain my vein.
My blood vein.
The main vein. It's not
the main vein.
Trey the main vein.
It's my jugular.
Well.
Archie's friend.
I feel like.
She's Fran.
I feel like... Devin, say your...
He's going to say his favorite Feige flex.
Ben, you can riff off that.
You love riffing.
Devin, Julie.
Yeah.
Count jugular.
What about the juggies from The Man Show?
Yes.
Can there be like a scary...
Juggies on trampolines.
Imagine the fembots.
Can there be like a scary Juggies movie?
Yeah, that's good.
The guys are like, send in the Juggies.
And then the fembots come out and they're like, wait a second, you guys look different.
Freaking bullets from their jumblies.
Right?
Right.
That's scary.
Did you guys see the Joker trailer?
We did see that one. Yeah. Did you notice they were Joker trailer? We did see that one.
Yeah.
Did you notice they were playing Send in the Clowns by Stephen Sondheim in the trailer?
Yes.
Did you think that was cool or fucked up or interesting?
Why are you scared to hear Devin's favorite freaky flicks?
Yeah.
Because I'm just scared that they're going to be...
Better than some of your suggestions.
No.
No.
You should be.
A little too triggering.
What Devin says.
Yeah. Okay.
The first one that comes to mind, the descent.
Oh, God!
She's triggered, man.
Are you triggered?
Did I trigger you?
Did I trigger you?
Do I make you triggered, baby?
You're mental!
You're mental!
Do I make you triggered, baby? You're mental. Do I make you triggered, baby?
Have I offended you?
Do I make you triggered, baby snowflake?
It's Austin Powers.
Yeah, this will be good, this episode.
So I am going to split.
This is the first time we haven't even spoken about what we were going to talk about before we started talking.
Do you think it's better or worse?
Bye.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.