Hollywood Handbook - Julie Klausner, Our Goodbye Cody Friend
Episode Date: March 20, 2018Sean and Hayes are joined by JULIE KLAUSNER to do a tribute with music.This episode is sponsored by Casper Mattresses  (code: THEBOYS) and Harry's .See Privacy Policy at https://art19.co...m/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
So, I'm on stage with Tay, Zonday, yes Deegs. And Zoe Dash.
And Rebel.
Hollywood ham.
Wilson.
And we're doing the live Beauty and the Beast at the Hollywood Bowl.
Wow.
And it's terrible.
And I'm going, why does anyone want to see this?
And like who is, you never really settled on who was going to be beauty.
Well,
because everyone on stage
is beautiful
in their own way.
And I,
and you just kind of felt
like it would shake out.
You like kind of figure it out
when you were up there.
And honestly,
who's going to be beauty
is not the problem.
It's who's going to be beast.
And I think we all kind of agree
who it should be.
Uh-huh.
But nobody wants to say it.
Right.
And so, you. Yeah, I to say it. Right. And so.
You.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm the fucking beast mode.
I woke up in beast mode, right?
Yeah.
And so.
Did you that day?
That day I had not.
You did not wake up in beast mode.
No.
But you know why?
Never went to sleep.
Okay.
Never went to sleep.
How could I wake up in beast mode?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Because I'm doing Bulletproof Coffee, which you don't sleep when you're on that.
Yeah, it keeps you awake.
Because the butter time releases the caffeine.
Just as you're about to enter your REM cycle, the butter kicks you in the tuchus.
So I am doing it and singing and kind of going like, and every time somebody mentions Beast,
I'm kind of like giving a little thumb towards myself subtly so the audience can't see, but
they can.
But not singing.
And Tay Zante, no, I'm never singing.
Tay Zante keeps shaking it off because he's thinking maybe he can do it.
Okay.
But he didn't woke up in Beast mode.
And I guess neither did I.
And Zoe is like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah.
And Rebel Wilson is going,
I'm a rebel just for kicks, man.
I've been kicking since 1966, man. I've been kicking since 1966, man.
So we suddenly just like turn to the stage manager and go, cut the lights, cut the whole thing.
Thank God this is just a rehearsal.
There's no one here.
Right.
And we go.
Tough to get off stage at that point.
Well, yeah.
And me and Tay, the first one, just leave.
Yeah.
We say, good luck to you.
I guess they're still doing it, but I don't know who would want to see that.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Linebacker Hallways of this industry we call Showbiz.
Showbiz.
What up, what up? We hate being sad.
And we love to feel happy and have friends.
We love happiness and having fun.
And light.
But we also love to do a tribute.
And that can be almost both.
Do you know of a flavor that has both bitter and sweet?
Blue raspberry.
Yes.
The sweet blue and the sour.
The sweet blue and the sour from the rotten raspberries that have turned blue from molding over in the trunk of your car.
So we're doing a show today that is blue raspberry or blue zazberry, you know?
And it's sweet.
Do you want to go off on that for one second longer?
Blue Zazberry?
Yes.
Well, to me, if you're not having fun with the name, why are you even doing a podcast?
It's an audio format.
Yes.
Why are you even doing a podcast?
It's an audio format.
Yes.
So let's take some of these sounds that we know, raspberry,
and dress them up with a little zazz.
And I think that it creates in the listener's mind a sort of new feature at the playground.
Blue raspberry, okay, that's a swing.
But blue zazberry?
This swing goes all the way up to 11.
The sound of it?
I guess so.
Julie, can you help me out?
I was just admiring how polished this intro was because usually I feel like you guys are a little off the cuff.
There's some riffing.
Well, I was going to take my – to surprise.
It sounded really scripted.
Well, I know.
And I'm trying to follow.
I'm trying to take everyone down the garden path here.
I just didn't want to make – just like blow by Blue Zazberry.
I was like, did he know that Hayes was going to ask him about –
like to unpack the Zazberry?
And then it's like, oh, of course he did.
Yes.
Yeah.
But otherwise, people online are like, oh, he just blew by a blue Zazberry.
Right, and he had that whole playground metaphor.
Yes.
What a way to describe a swing.
We want to do a tribute to our friend Cody.
Cody's an engineer.
Our former friend.
Cody's an... Our former engineer. Cody used to's an engineer. Our former friend. Cody's an...
Our former engineer.
Cody used to be an engineer.
Has anyone else done any kind of tribute to you?
Absolutely not.
We're the first ones who are talking about this?
Yeah.
Cody quit.
Congratulations, Cody.
I can only assume guilt at having made people work with him for this long.
Well, and it must have felt fucked up to be getting paid for this.
It's so great to be back.
I assume he'll still be engineering.
Thank you guys for having me.
And Julie, I have to bring you in as a surprise.
Believe me, it's going to be important that you're here.
So you felt bad for having done such a bad job
for so long.
You basically have committed
the crime of the century
at Earwolf.
You stole a huge amount of money
and now the heist is complete
and you're going to go to the,
to the island or whatever.
You could characterize it that way,
I suppose.
Do you not think, though,
that I did the job
that got me the money? I did the job that got me the money?
I did the job that got me the money?
Well, no, I would disagree with that.
I would disagree with that.
It's an interesting premise.
I would have to also say no, you did not do it.
Are you drinking beer?
Is that a stout?
You are gone.
You are one foot out the door.
Cody's drinking a lower, since it's his last week, a lower alcohol content beer.
It's 10.30 in the morning.
That he will normally have for a Monday morning record.
It's like a daytime kind.
Does it have butter in it?
Like the bulletproof?
It sure does.
Look at that froth.
I like to go to the movie theater and just pump that butter into my Dunkin'.
Right into your coffee?
Yeah.
I run on Dunkin'.
Oh, wow.
Sean uses, he says it's butter for his.
He calls it white butter, which is mayonnaise.
It's mayonnaise.
Yeah.
And it has a little coffee on top.
From Subway?
The light mayonnaise one? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool a little coffee on top. From Subway? The light mayonnaise one?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool.
Mayonnaise, yeah.
M-A-N-A-S.
Know what I mean?
What, it's cum?
Come on, Julie.
What, man?
Jesus Christ, it's 1030 in the morning.
I'm not the one drinking beer with mayonnaise.
Man-haze is what he...
That's what he has to call you now?
That's what he...
Yeah.
You guys, it's fascinating because I have been here a lot, and thank you so much for
having me back.
And we are going to do it as a surprise.
You have been here a lot, but you still get lost, don't you?
I do, every time.
But your dynamic changes.
Status.
Does it?
Well, now he has to call you Man Hayes.
Well, I am the co-host at best.
You think?
Hayes is the host.
I'm sort of a sidekick figure.
As evidenced by how I am leading everyone down this garden path,
I am driving the bus to a specific goal,
which is bringing out Julie as a surprise for the Cody tribute.
Because Cody quit.
Right.
But I'm his favorite.
I'm like the Bette Midler, like the penultimate knight.
Easily.
Johnny's reign.
Yeah.
I've seen a lot of you guest types, and number one for the code, man.
Thank you, Cody.
And, Cody, talk about some of the guests that you've seen over the years.
You wouldn't believe, like, every shape, size, color,
everything.
Wow.
And personality.
Thank you.
Just a huge variety.
Thank you.
And it's been a joy.
What's your favorite moment
with a guest?
Ooh.
Can we circle back?
It's so scripted now.
It's changed. The show's changed. The show's veryed now. It's changed.
The show's changed.
The show's changed.
The show's very organized now.
Well, here's what we want to do, Cody.
It used to be a little rough around the edges.
Here's what we want to do.
It's a little stiff.
Loosen your bun for me, please.
You know, we're here to-
My hair, you mean?
You know, we work together, but now you're here as like our friend a little bit.
So let's hair that thick.
Let's lower that bun.
Wow.
Thank you.
What we want to do is we will celebrate Cody, because Cody quit, with a musical.
And who better to do the musical and loves him?
And it's her main thing, is Julie.
Have I ever done something on the show that wasn't a musical?
Oh, the vampire novels episode.
Yeah.
When that was like a big thing.
Yep.
But now it's musical.
Musicals are back.
Thanks.
And Julie's here to do, and we're bringing out a special surprise to do the musical with you.
And it's Julie.
Hi, guys.
I'm so excited to be here.
Surprise. I was kind of hoping, Cody, that you would say that Julie was one of your favorite guests
that you love, and then we'd bring her out as a surprise.
If you're just kind of feeling what I'm trying to do here.
He wanted to circle back.
But.
Oh, I see you man
Julie
Okay
But Cody
And so what we want to do is do a musical
That celebrates your career at Earwolf
So tell us not with Julie but tell us about
Like a great experience with a guest that you
Had
And we'll do an improvised musical because we're the podcast
That does that.
Why not with me, though?
Well, Hayes just has a hang-up about this.
Because you are...
You're different to him.
It's like alpha beta dog stuff.
It's sort of his.
They're status fluid.
It's fascinating.
Because I feel like it's more for you to be able to play a different character than yourself
in the musical.
It can be, Julie, if you want it to be.
Oh, is this sort of like, are we taking this as a suggestion?
Is this?
Yes.
Okay.
We're the podcast that does these.
And another thing with Cody is if you say, like,
pick a moment with a guest, see if that's your favorite,
and it can be Julie, he'll just be like, oh, yeah, it's Julie.
Yeah.
He'll go straight for whatever you offer as a possibility.
He will go right for that.
Yeah, that's a Cody impression that is for ages.
Yeah.
And so I want to challenge him a little bit.
Have you thought of anything yet?
You've seen 10,000 guests.
Do not say Julie.
You can say Julie.
Julie is a good one. Thank you. Okay, name one more. Or can say Julie. Julie is a good one.
Thank you.
Okay, name one more.
Or be more specific about how I was great.
Say a great memory that you had with Julie.
Yeah, that'll be good.
It can't be from this episode.
I don't think that's possible.
One thing about this place is we really haven't had an employee handbook or anything like that for a real long time.
Oh, my God.
So I don't remember a ton of details on certain things.
And that's not in the handbook.
If there were an employee handbook, you would have a better memory of your own life and experience.
Is this Me Too stuff?
Are we talking about Me Too?
What's happening now? Time's up. Let me try to follow what's happening now. Cody is... What's happening now?
Time's up.
Let me try to follow Cody's thought process.
He was told to do something.
He had to look on his computer and say,
what show is this?
What show am I doing right now?
Probably, like, says handbook somewhere on his screen.
And so that's what he's kind of riffing off of now.
That's the only explanation I can come up with.
Nothing else makes any sense.
Yeah.
So, Cody, maybe let's not make it about podcasts or being an engineer here.
Just give me a positive memory from your life.
And we can work off of that a little.
Because at the end of the day, it's a celebration of you.
And if what you like and what you remember is not anything at all from the place where you've spent most of your days for the past eight years.
How long?
Six.
Six years.
Wow.
Okay.
So you don't remember anything from the past six years here.
Okay. Let's just't remember anything from the past six years here. Okay.
Let's just take that as a given.
Hey, your life, not mine.
What do you remember, period?
Yeah, it could be bad.
It could also be bad.
What's your worst memory?
It could also be bad because we did mention it is supposed to be Blue's Asbury flavored.
So maybe it's an upbeat song about a bad experience.
Something about you getting hurt.
That's one of your things.
Oh, those were real bad, yeah.
Physically?
Yeah.
Well, we could talk about, maybe now is the time I could confess to when I was 15, we burned down a shed.
We.
Okay, and we.
You and your other personalities.
I knew this was going to happen.
Yeah, because it's all written out.
Like you said.
Yeah, I got my sides.
Sometimes these sheds,
you know.
What are you doing after this now that
you're moving on? Where are you going next?
What's your next step?
Is that what the musical's about?
I'm going freelance, yeah.
What does that mean?
Nothing.
So you're going to be doing this, but on your own schedule?
He's working at Medieval Times.
He calls jousting freelancing.
Oh, that's fun.
Yeah.
Yep.
I just want to point out to you, Cody, I guess you don't remember this, but you got
to meet LeBron James here.
You took a picture with him.
Oh, wow.
That's true.
That was a good one.
Now that you mentioned it.
Did you guys do a musical with him, too?
Yeah.
He's the other, the guy that comes in here and, like, that's our, kind of our thing with
him.
We did vampire novels with him, then we did musical with him.
He is very funny and smart.
Wow. I wish he was here
now.
Why would you say that? What does that mean?
You wish he was here now.
I mean, I wish he was here now. I'm also going to have Cody's
thing. Instead of who? No, I didn't say
instead.
Why do we need him? This is going great.
Why do we need LeBron James?
You sound drunk too. Get out of here.
Drunk.
That's fucking
so sweet.
What are you talking about?
Did you sleep last night? No.
Why?
Butter.
Little man haze.
He likes to say, the reason he says it that way is he likes to say man haze kept him up all night.
What did you do?
Well, it's the mayonnaise, but I think it's a funny, like sort of lewd way, you know, as if like we were having sex.
Uh-huh.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's the implication.
Really?
I guess.
It's a joke. As soon as my head hit the pillow, that man haze wouldn't leave me alone.
See, it's like a little joke.
It's a little joke.
It's funny to us, just the idea of two men.
Yeah.
Kissing and, yeah.
Kissing and everything would be insane.
Such a funny joke. And we wouldn't do it. Well, it's a joke. Iting and, yeah. It's like kissing and everything. It would be insane. It's such a funny joke.
And we wouldn't do it.
Well, it's a joke.
It's a timeless joke.
Mm-hmm.
And through the ages, all the funniest people have had that joke.
Where, like, two guys kiss?
Yes.
Like, in a skit?
Please.
The craziness of that.
God.
I mean, the—
It's so funny because it's like it is something that's timeless, but at the same time, whenever I see it, I'm like, I've never seen that before.
Yeah, it feels fresh.
And one big regret we have in doing an audio format is that we can't cross-dress as well.
Because when you really look back at the annals of comedy, and I almost could have said anal there, which also is something funny to us,
you see that all the legends at one point put on some...
Like a tutu is like the funniest.
Can I just say the tutu?
If people are listening for comedy school, which they are,
because my comedy school pays performers, by the way.
Oh, my gosh.
No.
No.
We can't talk about that here.
Oh, yeah.
I just wanted to put that out there.
Whoa. You get a dollar a minute of stage time. Oh, yeah. I just wanted to put that out there. Whoa.
You get a dollar a minute of stage time.
Oh, that cheapens it to me.
Well, it expenses it to me because I end up – well, actually, I don't make money.
Money is going in the wrong direction.
I'm sorry.
That's not art.
I'm not good at, like, the business.
I'm sorry.
That's not art.
But I was just going to say, like, a tutu is the funniest way for a man to cross-dress.
That was all I was going to say.
Tutu's funny, yeah.
I was going to say all the legends have leggings.
So I, you know, I don't know what's better.
Maybe if you did tutu and then somebody working like Toucan Sam.
And somebody wear the tutu and the man says, oh, I'd like to meet like a different man who's like an old rich man.
Says like, oh, I'd like to make some time
with that sweetie over there, the doo-doo.
And the guy is like,
but he has to keep it up.
Yes. Keep what up?
The
Oh, I thought you meant it to like
the charade. Yeah, the funny charade.
The charade Carmichael.
Right.
Right? Yes. Cody, the funny charade. Stay hard. The charade Carmichael. Right. Right?
Yeah.
Yes.
Cody, have you thought of anything else that we can do something on about you?
Yeah, sure did.
Yes.
One of my absolute favorite, and this is a real one, was the Pauly Shore ep.
Your guy's show.
Did you do that one?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, he did, I remember.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. He said a slur on that show,, that's right. Yeah, he did, remember? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
He said a slur on that show, if I remember correctly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did?
Yes.
No, yes, sure.
Yes, you did, Cody.
Yeah.
Julie gets the raw feeds.
I give notes.
I have a lot of notes.
I have micro and macro notes. I have a lot of notes. I have micro and macro notes.
Which is great because Julie always has an eye on world building for the show.
She wants us to be protecting our characters,
which is something we sometimes lose sight of when we go for the joke.
It always begins so much funny stuff in here, which I really appreciate.
I love reading that at the beginning.
It lets me know that I did a good job.
And then I send you checks
because I believe in paying performers.
Yes, which actually does make it not art.
I'm fine with that.
I mean, are you guys fine with that?
There's no amount of money that could
properly commodify the exposure that you get
from being one of 700 people on a team at this theater.
It's pretty complicated.
And I don't know what theater you're talking about.
We're just talking about Julie's Comedy School.
Okay.
So, okay.
Great.
And it's pretty complicated actually.
My Comedy School?
Or just the –
Just the idea of paying people you must be up to your freaking neck in paperwork.
Yeah.
The checks I get have the green M&M squirting.
Has the green M&M squirting?
For the first time.
And the John Lovitz one is like, that's never happened.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Wow. Okay. So. Mm-hmm. Wow.
Okay.
So those are my checks.
And if you guys want to say that that's not art.
That is.
As long as the artist who drew that wasn't paid.
Okay.
So, Cody, you have a lot of songs.
Yeah.
We got one here.
Did you want to do music?
Yeah.
Let's do some music.
We're going to have to, yeah.
So, Julie, how does a musical about Cody open? How does it start? one here. Did you want to do music? Yeah, let's do some music. We're going to have to, yeah.
Julie, how does a musical about Cody open? How does it start?
I feel like it would be like, well, I've never seen
Hamilton, but I know the Hamilton polka.
Okay.
Oh, okay. The Weird Al
version of Hamilton.
Jimmy Fallon lip sync to
and it was like a total surprise.
Did y'all see Jimmy Fallon do the freaking –
Hamilton polka?
No, but did y'all see Jimmy Fallon do the Bob Dylan song and basically freaking roast my man Trump?
And they had been previously pretty good friends.
What was the song?
Well, it's like the times they are changing, but it's about the times now and are changing.
Okay.
There's one joke in it, and then there's a lot of observations about the times now, Hayes.
The song is old, and it looked like a black and white movie.
Yeah.
And he's singing just like the guy.
Yeah.
But the words are like, whoa.
And the joke almost softened me up to receive the message, which was powerful as hell.
It's one of those ones where I just sat on my couch and stared
afterward. That's a note I like to
give in my comedy school, is have one joke
and then the rest should just be supporting
evidence. And the rest should be, yes,
and message read.
And that joke is
like the sweet sugar on the broccoli.
And then you want to eat your vegetables.
And then, yeah, down goes the medicine.
So in the Hamilton polka, he opens with, you know, how does a man so-and-so.
Yeah.
So maybe we could do that, but it's about Cody instead.
Should we play the Hamilton polka just to hear what it sounds like?
Because he took it already first from Hamilton.
He can't get mad at us.
Oh, I never thought of it that way.
Right?
Okay.
We're actually being,
we're playing it like Robin Hood.
I wouldn't mind hearing some of that Bob Dylan one, too.
Yeah, we all have requests.
Cody, why don't you play DJ for the day, man?
Sure, man.
Yeah, and we can play the Jimmy Fallon one, too, because he stole that from Bob Dylan.
So we're Robin Hood, and we're taking Prince John stole it from the people.
Papa John?
Yes.
Papa John stole it from the people, and Fallon took it back.
Or wait, no, he's Papa John.
He's Papa John.
Fallon is?
Yes.
I love lip syncing.
It's so funny when straight guys do it. It's so funny. Iten is? And we're, yes. I love lip syncing. Oh. It's so funny when like straight guys do it.
It's so funny.
It's like wearing a dress.
I wish we could do that.
That's another thing I wish we could do on the show.
If they do a girl song.
It just sounds like, we have tried to do it before.
It just sounds like playing the song.
Oh.
Picture this though, because you just mentioned straight guys.
Yeah.
A stud.
Uh-huh.
And he's doing like Shakira.
But he's really into it. What do you mean he's doing Shak Shakira. But he's really into it.
What do you mean he's doing Shakira?
Like that's the song he lip synced.
And he's doing his hips like a girl.
And really doing it.
Have you guys seen this before?
Or does this just think you're coming up with right now?
I'm picturing what I want on TV.
I'm sorry.
Put what you
want to see on TV out there. You know what I mean? What would you want to see on TV out there
you know what I mean
what would you want to watch
that's what you think
about making
and actually fight
for a better world
don't say that
like you can't actually
make change in the world
can I use this
in my comedy school
I'll pay you both
okay
okay
yeah
why do you sound
so reluctant about being
well I just
it's art
it's hard because it's art for me.
Oh, I understand.
And like the exposure is already so valuable, I don't want to cheapen it.
Okay.
Okay, I understand.
If you guys have stuff, like ideas that aren't art, you know where to go.
It can be pretty complicated.
I know, I agree that it's complicated.
Tax system.
People come to see the show, and then they pay money to the theater for the show, and
then the money goes away.
The end.
It's very,
it's very unclear.
Why are we still talking?
What happens to it?
They gotta rent the theater.
Maybe they should not
open as many new theaters.
Hang on,
hang on.
I have been.
Then there wouldn't be
enough stage time.
I agree with you.
Oh,
let me,
hang on.
I've made love
to the Hamilton polka. Hi, Kevin me put this thing on. I've made love to the Hamilton polka.
Hi, Kevin.
Sit down.
Kevin.
Kevin.
Chef Kevin, what was it like in the office when Cody said he was going to quit?
Hey, guys.
Chef Kevin here.
We were devastated.
How did he do it?
I mean, via email.
It wasn't a Jerry Maguire moment.
Can we read the email?
We should score it, though.
Is that allowed, Cody? Can I have a pitch?
Can we play the Hamilton polka and
have him read the email over it? Yeah, is there
a Hamilton polka
no vocals?
Instrumental.
No polka.
Hamilton polka instrumental.
Alright, clocking in. Hold on. Come leaders I'm a Tipoca instrumental. All right, clocking in. Hold on.
Come leaders who bully like internet trolls,
we'll curse you with four-letter words, love and hope.
For we will go high even when you go low.
The order is rearranging.
These are lyrics from the freaking-
That's his email?
No.
Yes.
I was going to say, that's quite an email.
That's Cody's email.
Cody, that's very strident.
You're burning some bridges, my friend.
What if you need a recommendation from...
This is freaking crazy.
That's true.
Fair enough.
Is there a Hamilton polka instrumental?
No.
I think the words will help.
Okay, so play the Hamilton polka.
How long is it?
45 minutes.
Five minutes long.
Okay, great. Yeah, and just play that, start it, How long is it? 45 minutes. Five minutes long. Okay, great.
Yeah, and just play that, start it, and then you can lower the volume.
Oh, I must have been fucking.
And then start to read at least like excerpts from your resignation email.
I just realized I must have been fucking to it while it was on repeat.
Hang on.
Here's Cody's.
I do not take five minutes to come.
Here's Cody's email from the beginning.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes.
Come gather around people.
It's commercials.
It's this is us. Wherever you roam. Without commercials, I'm saying? Yes. Come gather around people. It's commercials. This is us.
Wherever you roam.
Without commercials,
I should say.
45, right?
And admit that our country
don't feel like our home.
And that silence speaks louder
than those who condone.
It's a page a minute, Hayes.
And here's where
it really gets crazy.
I'm trying to listen to this.
If a tweet to you
is worth faving,
then lift up your voices
and put down your phones
for the times
they are a changing.
Whoa.
Now, Bob,
you couldn't have said that.
No.
Only Cody could say that.
Wait, that was the lyrics
of the Fallon song?
Or that was Cody's email?
I don't know.
I think that Cody
took a lot of the Fallon song lyrics
and put them in his email.
But he's stealing from the thief.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, yes.
He's bringing it back to the people.
It's just what we wanted to do.
Right, right.
Okay, ready, Cody?
Yeah.
I found the joke.
How does a bastard orphan son of a whore and a Scotsman drop to the middle of a...
Okay, now just like...
That's actually...
We're only allowed to play five seconds.
It's stolen music, Cody.
Can we play the same five seconds over and over again?
The stolen music to the people.
At this point, my bra was still on.
And we are...
You know what I mean?
And we are criticizing it.
We're doing it for criticism.
My panties were on the floor, though.
And it's...
That's criticism.
Bathroom floor.
All right.
I mean, it's a legal risk.
It's just my job to say that.
The man haze.
Okay, play the song.
This is F and Cody's email.
Do it.
Play the song.
Caribbean by Providence and Pomerantz's Waller.
Lower it.
I'm writing to officially inform you
that I am resigning from my position as an Earwolf audio engineer.
Is there a subject?
The subject, my official resignation.
Tony!
Wow, okay.
Any other good parts?
I would be loath to leave the company entirely.
Depending on my availability and the company's willingness,
I would be more than happy to offer freelance services upon request.
Okay.
I'll be out of state.
Coming up soon.
And I can see his screen, and it actually says,
I loathe the company entirely
So he's adding some stuff here
Sort of sugarcoating the message
So you're going to be out of state
Yes
This is true
This point is mutual oral
At this point
The world turned upside down
It's like kind of a 69-y thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My time at Earwolf
has been more than incredible.
The direction and collaboration
and inspiration I have experienced here
is in all honesty
a contributor to my desire
to leave my employment
as a recording engineer.
It's our fault!
You had such a good time here.
You want to leave?
The job's so good I realized I shouldn't do it
I definitely want to quit
Officially
This ice cream is too good, take it away from me
I can't keep it in my house
Wow
And advance my skills further
Uh-huh
Uh-oh
And in earnest sincerity Cody Scully Uh-oh.
And, in earnest sincerity, Cody Scully.
Okay, you can turn it off now.
Okay, Cody.
I got some other parts of his email if you want to hear.
Okay. Okay.
We did the part about if a tweet to you is worth faving, right? I found the joke. Okay. We did the part about if a tweet to you is worth faving, right?
I found the joke.
Okay.
And it's in a good spot for a joke because it's in sort of a lighter section of what he was talking about.
Come women and men who hashtag me too, and believe me when I say that we believe you.
For weak is the man who calls truth fake news.
Time's up, our silence we're breaking.
And even though Mel Gibson was in Daddy's home too,
well, the times, they are a-changing.
Oh, that is good.
Wow.
Legend status.
Yes.
Pop culture references.
The legends wear leggings, my man.
We are about to go there.
Because it's like, how did that guy get to be in that movie?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Excuse me.
And also, how about this?
Remember that?
Remember that movie?
Remember that movie?
That's a joke.
And how, yes.
Remember that movie?
What else do you guys remember from the movies?
He didn't call him Drumpf.
He didn't call him Drumpf.
He didn't. Let meumpf. He didn't call him Drumpf. He didn't.
Let me see.
Let me see.
I hope he did.
That's mean, Sean.
That might be too far.
Sean, do you really hope that?
Some of this shit fucking you trip out on.
Athletes with platforms throughout the land who by taking a knee are taking a stand.
Wait, that's the opposite.
But wait, that's not the opposite.
Oh, yeah, that's interesting.
Did he stop for a while to let people think about that part?
That's artful.
Cody?
Yeah.
There's a big break.
There's a bunch of blank space in the email.
No one was paid for this because it's artful.
Art beat.
That was, you know.
Wow. You guys seem grown-ish. An art beat. That was, you know. Wow.
You guys seen Grown-ish?
That's actually where I'm going to work.
And that's all good.
You're going to go work at Grown-ish?
Yep.
It's funny you brought that up.
You know, when I was making love in the toilet, I was a little Grown-ish.
I'd be like, oh.
Mutual oral on a toilet. It was in a grown-ish. I'd be like, oh. Mutual oral on a toilet.
It was in a stall.
Okay.
There was privacy.
Or privacy, as the Brits like to say.
Oh, then you'd be in the water closet.
So I think it's time.
Look, we've heard the email.
We've heard a great song.
I think now we have a real vision of Cody, what his message is.
Cody, you know what would actually be really nice, just since we did play the song, is to say, that was my idea.
You're leaving.
So you can't get in any trouble.
So to say, just something we could put in at the beginning, like, I'm playing the song.
It's my, Cody's choice.
Maybe there's a song like, Whatcha Gonna Do?
Yes.
Yes.
Like Bad Boys?
Yes.
Yeah?
It wouldn't be bad
if it had a little reggae beat to it.
That's for sure.
So, Cody,
just a song where you're taunting.
I played more than five seconds.
Whatcha Gonna Do?
Yes.
I stole your PayPal password.
And maybe you say –
Scott Aukerman, what you going to do?
I, Cody Scully, am fully financially responsible for any kind of repercussions that come from having to play this song.
That could be a really good tribute to Cody.
That could be really cool.
Just kind of send him out with a great tribute.
Mm-hmm.
be really cool.
Just kind of send them out with a great tribute.
Cody, see if you can find a reggae beat, and then maybe you're just jamming, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
About how it's your fault.
But there are no repercussions coming to you because you don't work here anymore. Because what are they going to do?
Well, they can't even find you.
You're not going to be in the state.
Oh, is there going to be like a catch me if you can?
He clearly doesn't want people to know what state he's going to be in.
And it almost makes me think that he is going to be, maybe not in L.A., but he is going to be in California.
He'll be in California, but he's going to be in a different state, meaning he's going to be zooted to the freaking moon.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
He's going to be in an altered state.
He's going to be freelancing.
Oh, he'll be freelancing, all right.
What's up?
That just sounded like the beginning to something.
Yeah, we thought we were going to say something else.
Freelancing, you know, just like.
Oh, right, right, right.
I just thought it was going to be a little turn.
It would be a setup to a second half of something.
Oh, yeah, that would be a setup to a second half of something. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
That would be terrific.
Do you guys have anything?
Maybe like Daddy's Home 2 something something.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Because it's a sequel.
Mm-hmm.
It'll be freelancing, all right.
Did you find the music?
Yeah.
It'd be like Cody's Home 2.
Cody's Home.
That could be good.
That could be good. That could be good.
All right, so you requested a reggae song?
Yes.
All right, here we go.
This doesn't sound like reggae to me.
No, it doesn't to me either.
I think that might be the joke.
But can you just say...
Oh, there's a joke? Yeah. You guys have to point these out to me, because, like that might be the joke. But can you just say Oh, there's a joke?
Yeah. You guys have to point these out
to me because that one was hidden.
Cody, can you say
it was my idea to play the Hamilton
polka.
It was my idea to play the Hamilton polka.
More than five seconds of it.
More than five seconds of it.
And keep going.
And I will be held responsible for all legal and financial ramifications of said decision.
What are you going to do?
Ram-hand-ifications.
Remember when that was your name?
Yeah.
Ram-hand.
Seek out Ram-hand for financial restitution.
I would cut that part later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just less tight.
Was it your goal just to outlast Kulop?
Yes.
Was that kind of like...
It was just like a hands on a hard body type thing.
Kulop should have a song.
We really should be doing a tribute.
Does Kulop have a song in here?
Yes.
We really should be doing a tribute to Kulop in the musical that we've been doing.
Let's do it.
If Kulop could be like an angel, like beckoning him to like the gates of heaven.
Oh, yeah.
And be like, join me.
That's nice.
Join me, Cody, on the other side.
That's nice.
It's nicer here.
It's like in Black Panthers.
Okay, so they're in the Black Panther
like ancestral world.
Yes.
And Kulop comes walking up.
Yes.
Okay.
No, Cody,
do yours. Cody, you go.
Cody, by all means,
finish your idea. And obviously
it needs to be a female singing voice, so you go ahead.
Yep. How you been?
Oh, good.
You're doing both sides of it?
You don't want anyone to be Kula.
There's no variation.
You're going to be Kula, man, Cody.
It's like Anomalisa.
It's like the same voice.
That was trippy as hell.
I like art films.
What's it like out here?
You tell me.
You're here too.
We're all here.
Everything is light.
Join us, Cody.
It's glowing.
That's right.
It's the light of a burning shed.
Your eyes still work.
Go into the shed, Cody. It's me, of a burning shed. Your eyes still work. Go into the shed, Cody.
It's me, Drew Droege.
No!
Thanks for coming by.
The Apple Sisters?
Yeah.
Harm our superstar.
Join us in the grave of earwolf legends.
How to be less old
O-M-F-G
Would you like a halo now?
Yes, please.
Hi, it's me, Professor Blastoff here.
Oh, hey, Professor.
The Hatch.
You look so nice in gowns.
Oh, thanks.
It's me, Mike Detective.
That was a great ending.
I like the way it wrapped up.
A really good way to go out.
It really was a beautiful, I mean, it was, again, this show seems scripted now.
Very strong wrap up.
Almost too perfect. Yeah, people are like, they didn't scripted now. Very strong wrap up. Almost too perfect.
Yeah, people are like, they didn't improvise that.
And they're right, we didn't.
So, Cody, you went in the grave of the Earwolf Legends.
Jeez.
And I wake up out of the dust and I'm back here now.
Well, look who's writing the show.
Breathe.
Man.
Just Breathe?
Do you want that to be a song?
Yeah, I'll listen to that. Doesn't seem song? Yeah, I'll listen to that.
Doesn't seem like you do.
I'll listen to that.
I need you to be excited about it.
Oh, fuck.
No, no, no.
Let's put that.
I've got plenty more.
Okay, okay.
I'll just circle back.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's circle back.
I'm going to circle back to the freelance thing, I think.
You want him to have a freelancing song?
Like a bullfighter?
That's actually more like throwing pizza.
Or that one setup you want to finish.
Oh, yeah, he'll be freelancing.
Oh, did you get to the end of that?
No, no, I'm just remembering that we're allowed to circle back to stuff like that.
Allowed? We're encouraged.
Yeah, I just didn't call it at the time.
Well.
I call it now.
Maybe it's something about Lance Armstrong.
Yes.
Oh, like freelance?
Yeah.
Oh, he'll be freelancing all right.
Freeing Lance Armstrong from jail.
Yeah.
I love when Sean's quiet because it means he's like there's cookies in the oven and then boy are those cookies gooey
when they come out
yeah
that's good yeah
I'll circle back to a response to that
what did you say Cody?
I said marinating
Mark marinating
oh Podcats
that's another show that you're in the Earwolf group with.
Oh, yeah.
What was that about?
That was a show about Mark Maron's cats.
Who hosted it?
So I know people, by the way, that have gotten shows rejected at Earwolf.
I do, too.
Just a preface for this.
It was a show starring Mark Maron's three cats.
I think Eddie Pepitone was one of the voices.
Do you remember who the other ones were?
Jim Davis.
Could have been.
I don't remember who anyone was.
I didn't even know Pepitone.
Kat Von D.
He was definitely one of them.
And it was like that Marc Maron was never on the show.
He wasn't involved.
And never involved.
But Boomer the Cat was one of them.
He gave his blessing, I'm sure.
Wasn't Jess Chaffin one of them?
She could have been.
That sounds right.
You say Chaffin, I say Chaffin.
Like I said, the handbook is very vague on all this stuff.
I've stayed in her home.
The employee handbook.
I've been a house guest.
Okay, you're probably right.
I definitely, like I wouldn't know because it's not in the employee handbook to know
that stuff.
The handbook again, he says.
Yeah.
He knows the name of the show.
Are you quitting because there wasn't a handbook?
I mean, there's a lot of things that play into a decision.
There's a lot of things in Beetlejuice that aren't in real life.
This is such a good summary of Cody's career.
It's true.
It's the perfect way.
This episode is the most
fitting tribute I could imagine.
It feels
like Cody.
I didn't know
going in that we'd be able to recreate
Who's the love interest?
There has to be a
romance. Yeah, that's
true. Oh, should we do, I mean
Should we do a song about Cody's girlfriend?
Sure, yeah, that would be good
Wouldn't that be nice?
Yeah, can you get us some music?
Sure, here we go
Wait, wait, what, can I, I need to know a little more about, never mind
$1.54 for a teepee, $2 for bowling, $3.25 for sponges and dish detergent.
Love is settling up. If you love someone, you settle up. You Venmo for everything either one of you buys.
Either one of you buys.
Keep it public.
Everyone has to know exactly how petty you are about the money you spend in your relationship. I still use PayPal.
I mentioned it before.
I stole a couple passwords, but I've since reformed.
Thank you, Julie.
Thank you, Julie.
And Cody, you want to say something special to Alyssa?
Ferris Square.
Turned it up to do that.
He blasted the music.
Very good engineering. I can see why you feel like you've grown out of...
And that you earned that money you stole.
...Earwolf, and that now it's time to really learn more,
that you know that what the engineer does is when it's time to say something,
you turn the music up.
My one moment to deliver any message I want to the love of my life.
Let me just blast the music under what I say.
Over what I say.
Over what I say.
The music's playing under it.
Well, it's over if it's louder. Should I propose to her,
maybe? I thought you just did.
Maybe.
I couldn't hear. The music was very loud.
Yeah, you can propose
on the show. It would also be fun
to buy a wedding ring.
The way you propose would be to buy a ring and then see a payment on Venmo, a payment request.
That's a great proposal.
For half the cost of a wedding ring.
I love getting invoiced.
That's what I meant.
I love it.
Yeah.
Because it's official.
Yeah.
You could ignore a text that's like, you owe me $505.01.
You know what I mean?
Just an honest proposal.
You put that in the note section of the invoice, like memo?
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
That's a trick question.
There are no memo sections.
It's a check.
Gotcha.
Gotcha, bitch.
I've never seen anybody get busted that bad.
Hey, what was I going to circle back to before?
Well, you were talking about the Lance Armstrong thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did we not put that to bed?
Well, you said you were going to circle back.
Well, we gave you a lot of compliments.
That I liked.
And then you not only absorbed the compliments, but you go, yeah, that's good.
Like you gave yourself one too, and then you said, I'm going to circle back to it.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Should we do just like another theme for Cody?
What do you mean a theme?
Just like Cody, you know, just like a scene in the musical for just him doing.
Have you seen a musical?
Yeah.
It has scenes in it.
Oh, I thought you said theme.
No, they also have themes.
What are you talking about?
I don't understand what you're getting at, Hayes.
I'm just challenging you the way that I like to challenge my students.
Because I have like a duffel bag full of cash.
Am I being crazy?
No.
Don't gang up on me.
Don't gang up on me.
Wait, I have to be honest.
This is my freaking host here.
This is my captain.
As a sidekick, I can't go against man haze.
This is the music for your theme?
Okay.
Hit record.
Everybody's talking.
What's going on?
Press play. Vice news. I know what we're doing now. Okay. What's going on?
Press play.
Vice News.
Oh, I think I know what we're doing now.
Okay.
This is like a day in the life, basically.
Like what he usually does before he realizes that he's going to quit. I'm loving this Vice News.
I'm learning so much Vice News.
Boy, is this nice news.
What about a Bible for lads?
A picture of a man playing
PlayStation in the tub.
I'm laughing so hard I can barely host the show.
You can hear
the multiple things I'm
watching and listening to
through the computer as we're trying to record.
And I'm editing
Scarborough Country 2.
Oh no.
They're talking to me
Why do I keep hearing my name
In my headphones
No
I got a snappy response
I got a snappy response
I gotta think of a snappy response
What's my snappy response
I must have been misleading
When I said I got a snappy response
What I meant to say was
I need a snappy response
I don't got a snappy response
What's my snappy response?
Hey it's Cody
I uploaded the episode
Try to play it, the file size is
Zero kilobytes
Heading to the dropbox Now File size is zero kilobytes.
Heading to the Dropbox now.
30 minutes later.
Hey, I checked the Dropbox.
There's nothing in here.
Sorry, the internet on our end is being really slow.
No problem will do.
No problem will do. Why is everyone
so mad at me?
Cody's theme.
I owe you an apology, Hayes. Right?
Yeah, I know. I know when to admit that
I am wrong. And that felt like something
out of a musical, that you're kind of getting
the theme in.
I already apologized, Sean.
Okay, but is there any reason
that I shouldn't twist the knife?
That's good pod.
Oof.
Oofa.
Oofa.
Well, do we need any more songs?
What time is it?
Is there anything else
you want to say, Cody?
Probably a Blue Apron finale, I'd say.
A song?
That's more Chef Kevin's thing.
Right, fine.
I guess I'll just shut the fuck up then.
Okay.
I'm at a loss for words at what I would say.
I think I've said quite a bit.
That's a fun Gilbert and Sullivan. I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what I what I would say. I think I've said quite a bit. That's a fun Gilbert and Sullivan.
I'm at a loss of words.
I don't know what I say.
I don't know what I...
But he's saying a lot.
I think that's what he was trying to do.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you guys think?
What would you say if you were me?
If I was you?
Oh, nothing.
I'd clam up.
I would have been gone already.
You're here for like two more weeks.
Senior slump.
Who's replacing you?
Oh, that's a good idea.
What about that as the finale?
Oh, wow.
Like, look, it's me.
I'm a fresh young face.
And I'm new in town.
Engineer.
I'm eager and, you know.
Takes off his backpack.
And it is a his.
It's not a woman.
I've been at Earwolf long enough to know, if anything, it'll be a man dressed as a woman.
Oh, funny.
Which is really funny.
But it's not going to be a woman.
And it ends with him.
He puts the headphones on at the end.
Yeah.
Okay, let's do it.
Here we go.
Upbeat, upbeat. Here we end. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Upbeat, upbeat.
Here we go.
Yes.
Here I am on my first day.
Can't wait to sit in Cody's seat.
Turn on the computer.
The only program is at Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard.
How did this guy do his job?
What has he been doing for six years?
Chef Kevin here.
Can I get you anything?
New engineer?
You bet you can.
I'd like some stuff.
Oi, bruv.
Hope you fit right in.
It's me, Colin.
I'm chuffed.
Hey, it's me, Josh.
I'm kind of the alpha dog in this office.
Hi, it's Julie Klausner. I'm
lost again.
Can you
give me some directions?
Sean, can you
just come down?
Ooh, yeah.
Hang on.
Yeah, I'm getting texted. Hold on.
Okay, I see her.
She's right directly in front of the building.
Can I say walk straight?
I'm afraid she'll go into the road.
Help!
Help!
Help!
A being run over by a bus.
Goodbye, Cody. Bye. Wait, wait. Goodbye Cody Bye
Wait wait
He goes
I think I'm gonna like it here
And then he puts the things on
Oh that's cool
Yeah
Sets us up for a sequel as well
You know what
I'm glad you didn't shut the fuck up
Thanks Ace
Thanks guys
That was a cool ending.
Thank you.
I can picture it.
Are you done circling back?
We got to do ads, unfortunately.
We don't have a ton of time.
We've got to do ads.
So I'm not going to be able to circle back.
Something to tune in for next week, I guess.
Julie, got anything you want to plug?
Just the meetings you're taking while you're here?
Yeah.
You want to kind of vision board your meetings and visualize how they're going to go?
I just want to plug The Fish Out of Water by Guillermo del Toro.
It's such a fun movie and kind of messed up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's called The Fish Out of Water.
Okay. It's kind of messed up. Yeah. Yeah. It's called The Fish Out of Water.
Okay.
Don't know what that means.
I mean, I just don't know.
Yeah, I'm not up on the movies this year.
That's fascinating.
That's so unlike you.
It's so off-brand.
Are you depressed?
Yes.
Bye.
I'm a horny girl wolf.
This has been an Earwolf production.
Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon.
For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com.
Ow.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.