Hollywood Handbook - Julie Klausner, Our Goodbye Cody Friend

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

Sean and Hayes are joined by JULIE KLAUSNER to do a tribute with music.This episode is sponsored by  Casper Mattresses  (code: THEBOYS) and  Harry's .See Privacy Policy at https://art19.co...m/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, I'm on stage with Tay, Zonday, yes Deegs. And Zoe Dash. And Rebel. Hollywood ham. Wilson. And we're doing the live Beauty and the Beast at the Hollywood Bowl. Wow. And it's terrible.
Starting point is 00:00:37 And I'm going, why does anyone want to see this? And like who is, you never really settled on who was going to be beauty. Well, because everyone on stage is beautiful in their own way. And I, and you just kind of felt
Starting point is 00:00:51 like it would shake out. You like kind of figure it out when you were up there. And honestly, who's going to be beauty is not the problem. It's who's going to be beast. And I think we all kind of agree
Starting point is 00:00:59 who it should be. Uh-huh. But nobody wants to say it. Right. And so, you. Yeah, I to say it. Right. And so. You. Yeah. I mean, I'm the fucking beast mode.
Starting point is 00:01:09 I woke up in beast mode, right? Yeah. And so. Did you that day? That day I had not. You did not wake up in beast mode. No. But you know why?
Starting point is 00:01:19 Never went to sleep. Okay. Never went to sleep. How could I wake up in beast mode? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because I'm doing Bulletproof Coffee, which you don't sleep when you're on that. Yeah, it keeps you awake.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Because the butter time releases the caffeine. Just as you're about to enter your REM cycle, the butter kicks you in the tuchus. So I am doing it and singing and kind of going like, and every time somebody mentions Beast, I'm kind of like giving a little thumb towards myself subtly so the audience can't see, but they can. But not singing. And Tay Zante, no, I'm never singing. Tay Zante keeps shaking it off because he's thinking maybe he can do it.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Okay. But he didn't woke up in Beast mode. And I guess neither did I. And Zoe is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. And Rebel Wilson is going, I'm a rebel just for kicks, man. I've been kicking since 1966, man. I've been kicking since 1966, man.
Starting point is 00:02:35 So we suddenly just like turn to the stage manager and go, cut the lights, cut the whole thing. Thank God this is just a rehearsal. There's no one here. Right. And we go. Tough to get off stage at that point. Well, yeah. And me and Tay, the first one, just leave.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. We say, good luck to you. I guess they're still doing it, but I don't know who would want to see that. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Linebacker Hallways of this industry we call Showbiz. Showbiz. What up, what up? We hate being sad. And we love to feel happy and have friends. We love happiness and having fun.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And light. But we also love to do a tribute. And that can be almost both. Do you know of a flavor that has both bitter and sweet? Blue raspberry. Yes. The sweet blue and the sour. The sweet blue and the sour from the rotten raspberries that have turned blue from molding over in the trunk of your car.
Starting point is 00:03:34 So we're doing a show today that is blue raspberry or blue zazberry, you know? And it's sweet. Do you want to go off on that for one second longer? Blue Zazberry? Yes. Well, to me, if you're not having fun with the name, why are you even doing a podcast? It's an audio format. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Why are you even doing a podcast? It's an audio format. Yes. So let's take some of these sounds that we know, raspberry, and dress them up with a little zazz. And I think that it creates in the listener's mind a sort of new feature at the playground. Blue raspberry, okay, that's a swing. But blue zazberry?
Starting point is 00:04:25 This swing goes all the way up to 11. The sound of it? I guess so. Julie, can you help me out? I was just admiring how polished this intro was because usually I feel like you guys are a little off the cuff. There's some riffing. Well, I was going to take my – to surprise. It sounded really scripted.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Well, I know. And I'm trying to follow. I'm trying to take everyone down the garden path here. I just didn't want to make – just like blow by Blue Zazberry. I was like, did he know that Hayes was going to ask him about – like to unpack the Zazberry? And then it's like, oh, of course he did. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Yeah. But otherwise, people online are like, oh, he just blew by a blue Zazberry. Right, and he had that whole playground metaphor. Yes. What a way to describe a swing. We want to do a tribute to our friend Cody. Cody's an engineer. Our former friend.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Cody's an... Our former engineer. Cody used to's an engineer. Our former friend. Cody's an... Our former engineer. Cody used to be an engineer. Has anyone else done any kind of tribute to you? Absolutely not. We're the first ones who are talking about this? Yeah. Cody quit.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Congratulations, Cody. I can only assume guilt at having made people work with him for this long. Well, and it must have felt fucked up to be getting paid for this. It's so great to be back. I assume he'll still be engineering. Thank you guys for having me. And Julie, I have to bring you in as a surprise. Believe me, it's going to be important that you're here.
Starting point is 00:06:02 So you felt bad for having done such a bad job for so long. You basically have committed the crime of the century at Earwolf. You stole a huge amount of money and now the heist is complete and you're going to go to the,
Starting point is 00:06:16 to the island or whatever. You could characterize it that way, I suppose. Do you not think, though, that I did the job that got me the money? I did the job that got me the money? I did the job that got me the money? Well, no, I would disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:06:32 I would disagree with that. It's an interesting premise. I would have to also say no, you did not do it. Are you drinking beer? Is that a stout? You are gone. You are one foot out the door. Cody's drinking a lower, since it's his last week, a lower alcohol content beer.
Starting point is 00:06:53 It's 10.30 in the morning. That he will normally have for a Monday morning record. It's like a daytime kind. Does it have butter in it? Like the bulletproof? It sure does. Look at that froth. I like to go to the movie theater and just pump that butter into my Dunkin'.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Right into your coffee? Yeah. I run on Dunkin'. Oh, wow. Sean uses, he says it's butter for his. He calls it white butter, which is mayonnaise. It's mayonnaise. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:20 And it has a little coffee on top. From Subway? The light mayonnaise one? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool a little coffee on top. From Subway? The light mayonnaise one? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Mayonnaise, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:30 M-A-N-A-S. Know what I mean? What, it's cum? Come on, Julie. What, man? Jesus Christ, it's 1030 in the morning. I'm not the one drinking beer with mayonnaise. Man-haze is what he...
Starting point is 00:07:47 That's what he has to call you now? That's what he... Yeah. You guys, it's fascinating because I have been here a lot, and thank you so much for having me back. And we are going to do it as a surprise. You have been here a lot, but you still get lost, don't you? I do, every time.
Starting point is 00:08:00 But your dynamic changes. Status. Does it? Well, now he has to call you Man Hayes. Well, I am the co-host at best. You think? Hayes is the host. I'm sort of a sidekick figure.
Starting point is 00:08:12 As evidenced by how I am leading everyone down this garden path, I am driving the bus to a specific goal, which is bringing out Julie as a surprise for the Cody tribute. Because Cody quit. Right. But I'm his favorite. I'm like the Bette Midler, like the penultimate knight. Easily.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Johnny's reign. Yeah. I've seen a lot of you guest types, and number one for the code, man. Thank you, Cody. And, Cody, talk about some of the guests that you've seen over the years. You wouldn't believe, like, every shape, size, color, everything. Wow.
Starting point is 00:08:48 And personality. Thank you. Just a huge variety. Thank you. And it's been a joy. What's your favorite moment with a guest? Ooh.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Can we circle back? It's so scripted now. It's changed. The show's changed. The show's veryed now. It's changed. The show's changed. The show's changed. The show's very organized now. Well, here's what we want to do, Cody. It used to be a little rough around the edges.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Here's what we want to do. It's a little stiff. Loosen your bun for me, please. You know, we're here to- My hair, you mean? You know, we work together, but now you're here as like our friend a little bit. So let's hair that thick. Let's lower that bun.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Wow. Thank you. What we want to do is we will celebrate Cody, because Cody quit, with a musical. And who better to do the musical and loves him? And it's her main thing, is Julie. Have I ever done something on the show that wasn't a musical? Oh, the vampire novels episode. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:49 When that was like a big thing. Yep. But now it's musical. Musicals are back. Thanks. And Julie's here to do, and we're bringing out a special surprise to do the musical with you. And it's Julie. Hi, guys.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I'm so excited to be here. Surprise. I was kind of hoping, Cody, that you would say that Julie was one of your favorite guests that you love, and then we'd bring her out as a surprise. If you're just kind of feeling what I'm trying to do here. He wanted to circle back. But. Oh, I see you man Julie
Starting point is 00:10:26 Okay But Cody And so what we want to do is do a musical That celebrates your career at Earwolf So tell us not with Julie but tell us about Like a great experience with a guest that you Had And we'll do an improvised musical because we're the podcast
Starting point is 00:10:44 That does that. Why not with me, though? Well, Hayes just has a hang-up about this. Because you are... You're different to him. It's like alpha beta dog stuff. It's sort of his. They're status fluid.
Starting point is 00:10:55 It's fascinating. Because I feel like it's more for you to be able to play a different character than yourself in the musical. It can be, Julie, if you want it to be. Oh, is this sort of like, are we taking this as a suggestion? Is this? Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:10 We're the podcast that does these. And another thing with Cody is if you say, like, pick a moment with a guest, see if that's your favorite, and it can be Julie, he'll just be like, oh, yeah, it's Julie. Yeah. He'll go straight for whatever you offer as a possibility. He will go right for that. Yeah, that's a Cody impression that is for ages.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yeah. And so I want to challenge him a little bit. Have you thought of anything yet? You've seen 10,000 guests. Do not say Julie. You can say Julie. Julie is a good one. Thank you. Okay, name one more. Or can say Julie. Julie is a good one. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Okay, name one more. Or be more specific about how I was great. Say a great memory that you had with Julie. Yeah, that'll be good. It can't be from this episode. I don't think that's possible. One thing about this place is we really haven't had an employee handbook or anything like that for a real long time. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:12:08 So I don't remember a ton of details on certain things. And that's not in the handbook. If there were an employee handbook, you would have a better memory of your own life and experience. Is this Me Too stuff? Are we talking about Me Too? What's happening now? Time's up. Let me try to follow what's happening now. Cody is... What's happening now? Time's up. Let me try to follow Cody's thought process.
Starting point is 00:12:27 He was told to do something. He had to look on his computer and say, what show is this? What show am I doing right now? Probably, like, says handbook somewhere on his screen. And so that's what he's kind of riffing off of now. That's the only explanation I can come up with. Nothing else makes any sense.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah. So, Cody, maybe let's not make it about podcasts or being an engineer here. Just give me a positive memory from your life. And we can work off of that a little. Because at the end of the day, it's a celebration of you. And if what you like and what you remember is not anything at all from the place where you've spent most of your days for the past eight years. How long? Six.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Six years. Wow. Okay. So you don't remember anything from the past six years here. Okay. Let's just't remember anything from the past six years here. Okay. Let's just take that as a given. Hey, your life, not mine. What do you remember, period?
Starting point is 00:13:34 Yeah, it could be bad. It could also be bad. What's your worst memory? It could also be bad because we did mention it is supposed to be Blue's Asbury flavored. So maybe it's an upbeat song about a bad experience. Something about you getting hurt. That's one of your things. Oh, those were real bad, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Physically? Yeah. Well, we could talk about, maybe now is the time I could confess to when I was 15, we burned down a shed. We. Okay, and we. You and your other personalities. I knew this was going to happen. Yeah, because it's all written out.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Like you said. Yeah, I got my sides. Sometimes these sheds, you know. What are you doing after this now that you're moving on? Where are you going next? What's your next step? Is that what the musical's about?
Starting point is 00:14:25 I'm going freelance, yeah. What does that mean? Nothing. So you're going to be doing this, but on your own schedule? He's working at Medieval Times. He calls jousting freelancing. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Yep. I just want to point out to you, Cody, I guess you don't remember this, but you got to meet LeBron James here. You took a picture with him. Oh, wow. That's true. That was a good one. Now that you mentioned it.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Did you guys do a musical with him, too? Yeah. He's the other, the guy that comes in here and, like, that's our, kind of our thing with him. We did vampire novels with him, then we did musical with him. He is very funny and smart. Wow. I wish he was here now.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Why would you say that? What does that mean? You wish he was here now. I mean, I wish he was here now. I'm also going to have Cody's thing. Instead of who? No, I didn't say instead. Why do we need him? This is going great. Why do we need LeBron James? You sound drunk too. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Drunk. That's fucking so sweet. What are you talking about? Did you sleep last night? No. Why? Butter. Little man haze.
Starting point is 00:15:47 He likes to say, the reason he says it that way is he likes to say man haze kept him up all night. What did you do? Well, it's the mayonnaise, but I think it's a funny, like sort of lewd way, you know, as if like we were having sex. Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah. That's the implication. Really?
Starting point is 00:16:02 I guess. It's a joke. As soon as my head hit the pillow, that man haze wouldn't leave me alone. See, it's like a little joke. It's a little joke. It's funny to us, just the idea of two men. Yeah. Kissing and, yeah. Kissing and everything would be insane.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Such a funny joke. And we wouldn't do it. Well, it's a joke. Iting and, yeah. It's like kissing and everything. It would be insane. It's such a funny joke. And we wouldn't do it. Well, it's a joke. It's a timeless joke. Mm-hmm. And through the ages, all the funniest people have had that joke. Where, like, two guys kiss? Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Like, in a skit? Please. The craziness of that. God. I mean, the— It's so funny because it's like it is something that's timeless, but at the same time, whenever I see it, I'm like, I've never seen that before. Yeah, it feels fresh. And one big regret we have in doing an audio format is that we can't cross-dress as well.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Because when you really look back at the annals of comedy, and I almost could have said anal there, which also is something funny to us, you see that all the legends at one point put on some... Like a tutu is like the funniest. Can I just say the tutu? If people are listening for comedy school, which they are, because my comedy school pays performers, by the way. Oh, my gosh. No.
Starting point is 00:17:19 No. We can't talk about that here. Oh, yeah. I just wanted to put that out there. Whoa. You get a dollar a minute of stage time. Oh, yeah. I just wanted to put that out there. Whoa. You get a dollar a minute of stage time. Oh, that cheapens it to me. Well, it expenses it to me because I end up – well, actually, I don't make money.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Money is going in the wrong direction. I'm sorry. That's not art. I'm not good at, like, the business. I'm sorry. That's not art. But I was just going to say, like, a tutu is the funniest way for a man to cross-dress. That was all I was going to say.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Tutu's funny, yeah. I was going to say all the legends have leggings. So I, you know, I don't know what's better. Maybe if you did tutu and then somebody working like Toucan Sam. And somebody wear the tutu and the man says, oh, I'd like to meet like a different man who's like an old rich man. Says like, oh, I'd like to make some time with that sweetie over there, the doo-doo. And the guy is like,
Starting point is 00:18:11 but he has to keep it up. Yes. Keep what up? The Oh, I thought you meant it to like the charade. Yeah, the funny charade. The charade Carmichael. Right. Right? Yes. Cody, the funny charade. Stay hard. The charade Carmichael. Right. Right?
Starting point is 00:18:27 Yeah. Yes. Cody, have you thought of anything else that we can do something on about you? Yeah, sure did. Yes. One of my absolute favorite, and this is a real one, was the Pauly Shore ep. Your guy's show. Did you do that one?
Starting point is 00:18:42 Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, he did, I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He said a slur on that show,, that's right. Yeah, he did, remember? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He said a slur on that show, if I remember correctly. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:49 I did? Yes. No, yes, sure. Yes, you did, Cody. Yeah. Julie gets the raw feeds. I give notes. I have a lot of notes.
Starting point is 00:19:02 I have micro and macro notes. I have a lot of notes. I have micro and macro notes. Which is great because Julie always has an eye on world building for the show. She wants us to be protecting our characters, which is something we sometimes lose sight of when we go for the joke. It always begins so much funny stuff in here, which I really appreciate. I love reading that at the beginning. It lets me know that I did a good job. And then I send you checks
Starting point is 00:19:27 because I believe in paying performers. Yes, which actually does make it not art. I'm fine with that. I mean, are you guys fine with that? There's no amount of money that could properly commodify the exposure that you get from being one of 700 people on a team at this theater. It's pretty complicated.
Starting point is 00:19:51 And I don't know what theater you're talking about. We're just talking about Julie's Comedy School. Okay. So, okay. Great. And it's pretty complicated actually. My Comedy School? Or just the –
Starting point is 00:20:05 Just the idea of paying people you must be up to your freaking neck in paperwork. Yeah. The checks I get have the green M&M squirting. Has the green M&M squirting? For the first time. And the John Lovitz one is like, that's never happened. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Wow. Okay. So. Mm-hmm. Wow. Okay. So those are my checks. And if you guys want to say that that's not art. That is. As long as the artist who drew that wasn't paid. Okay. So, Cody, you have a lot of songs.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Yeah. We got one here. Did you want to do music? Yeah. Let's do some music. We're going to have to, yeah. So, Julie, how does a musical about Cody open? How does it start? one here. Did you want to do music? Yeah, let's do some music. We're going to have to, yeah. Julie, how does a musical about Cody open? How does it start?
Starting point is 00:20:49 I feel like it would be like, well, I've never seen Hamilton, but I know the Hamilton polka. Okay. Oh, okay. The Weird Al version of Hamilton. Jimmy Fallon lip sync to and it was like a total surprise. Did y'all see Jimmy Fallon do the freaking –
Starting point is 00:21:08 Hamilton polka? No, but did y'all see Jimmy Fallon do the Bob Dylan song and basically freaking roast my man Trump? And they had been previously pretty good friends. What was the song? Well, it's like the times they are changing, but it's about the times now and are changing. Okay. There's one joke in it, and then there's a lot of observations about the times now, Hayes. The song is old, and it looked like a black and white movie.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Yeah. And he's singing just like the guy. Yeah. But the words are like, whoa. And the joke almost softened me up to receive the message, which was powerful as hell. It's one of those ones where I just sat on my couch and stared afterward. That's a note I like to give in my comedy school, is have one joke
Starting point is 00:22:10 and then the rest should just be supporting evidence. And the rest should be, yes, and message read. And that joke is like the sweet sugar on the broccoli. And then you want to eat your vegetables. And then, yeah, down goes the medicine. So in the Hamilton polka, he opens with, you know, how does a man so-and-so.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Yeah. So maybe we could do that, but it's about Cody instead. Should we play the Hamilton polka just to hear what it sounds like? Because he took it already first from Hamilton. He can't get mad at us. Oh, I never thought of it that way. Right? Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:47 We're actually being, we're playing it like Robin Hood. I wouldn't mind hearing some of that Bob Dylan one, too. Yeah, we all have requests. Cody, why don't you play DJ for the day, man? Sure, man. Yeah, and we can play the Jimmy Fallon one, too, because he stole that from Bob Dylan. So we're Robin Hood, and we're taking Prince John stole it from the people.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Papa John? Yes. Papa John stole it from the people, and Fallon took it back. Or wait, no, he's Papa John. He's Papa John. Fallon is? Yes. I love lip syncing.
Starting point is 00:23:24 It's so funny when straight guys do it. It's so funny. Iten is? And we're, yes. I love lip syncing. Oh. It's so funny when like straight guys do it. It's so funny. It's like wearing a dress. I wish we could do that. That's another thing I wish we could do on the show. If they do a girl song. It just sounds like, we have tried to do it before. It just sounds like playing the song.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Oh. Picture this though, because you just mentioned straight guys. Yeah. A stud. Uh-huh. And he's doing like Shakira. But he's really into it. What do you mean he's doing Shak Shakira. But he's really into it. What do you mean he's doing Shakira?
Starting point is 00:23:48 Like that's the song he lip synced. And he's doing his hips like a girl. And really doing it. Have you guys seen this before? Or does this just think you're coming up with right now? I'm picturing what I want on TV. I'm sorry. Put what you
Starting point is 00:24:04 want to see on TV out there. You know what I mean? What would you want to see on TV out there you know what I mean what would you want to watch that's what you think about making and actually fight for a better world don't say that
Starting point is 00:24:11 like you can't actually make change in the world can I use this in my comedy school I'll pay you both okay okay yeah
Starting point is 00:24:22 why do you sound so reluctant about being well I just it's art it's hard because it's art for me. Oh, I understand. And like the exposure is already so valuable, I don't want to cheapen it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Okay, I understand. If you guys have stuff, like ideas that aren't art, you know where to go. It can be pretty complicated. I know, I agree that it's complicated. Tax system. People come to see the show, and then they pay money to the theater for the show, and then the money goes away. The end.
Starting point is 00:24:46 It's very, it's very unclear. Why are we still talking? What happens to it? They gotta rent the theater. Maybe they should not open as many new theaters. Hang on,
Starting point is 00:24:55 hang on. I have been. Then there wouldn't be enough stage time. I agree with you. Oh, let me, hang on.
Starting point is 00:25:03 I've made love to the Hamilton polka. Hi, Kevin me put this thing on. I've made love to the Hamilton polka. Hi, Kevin. Sit down. Kevin. Kevin. Chef Kevin, what was it like in the office when Cody said he was going to quit? Hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Chef Kevin here. We were devastated. How did he do it? I mean, via email. It wasn't a Jerry Maguire moment. Can we read the email? We should score it, though. Is that allowed, Cody? Can I have a pitch?
Starting point is 00:25:30 Can we play the Hamilton polka and have him read the email over it? Yeah, is there a Hamilton polka no vocals? Instrumental. No polka. Hamilton polka instrumental. Alright, clocking in. Hold on. Come leaders I'm a Tipoca instrumental. All right, clocking in. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Come leaders who bully like internet trolls, we'll curse you with four-letter words, love and hope. For we will go high even when you go low. The order is rearranging. These are lyrics from the freaking- That's his email? No. Yes.
Starting point is 00:26:02 I was going to say, that's quite an email. That's Cody's email. Cody, that's very strident. You're burning some bridges, my friend. What if you need a recommendation from... This is freaking crazy. That's true. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Is there a Hamilton polka instrumental? No. I think the words will help. Okay, so play the Hamilton polka. How long is it? 45 minutes. Five minutes long. Okay, great. Yeah, and just play that, start it, How long is it? 45 minutes. Five minutes long. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Yeah, and just play that, start it, and then you can lower the volume. Oh, I must have been fucking. And then start to read at least like excerpts from your resignation email. I just realized I must have been fucking to it while it was on repeat. Hang on. Here's Cody's. I do not take five minutes to come. Here's Cody's email from the beginning.
Starting point is 00:26:40 You know what I'm saying? Yes. Come gather around people. It's commercials. It's this is us. Wherever you roam. Without commercials, I'm saying? Yes. Come gather around people. It's commercials. This is us. Wherever you roam. Without commercials, I should say.
Starting point is 00:26:48 45, right? And admit that our country don't feel like our home. And that silence speaks louder than those who condone. It's a page a minute, Hayes. And here's where it really gets crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I'm trying to listen to this. If a tweet to you is worth faving, then lift up your voices and put down your phones for the times they are a changing. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Now, Bob, you couldn't have said that. No. Only Cody could say that. Wait, that was the lyrics of the Fallon song? Or that was Cody's email? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I think that Cody took a lot of the Fallon song lyrics and put them in his email. But he's stealing from the thief. You know what I'm saying? Well, yes. He's bringing it back to the people. It's just what we wanted to do.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Right, right. Okay, ready, Cody? Yeah. I found the joke. How does a bastard orphan son of a whore and a Scotsman drop to the middle of a... Okay, now just like... That's actually... We're only allowed to play five seconds.
Starting point is 00:27:44 It's stolen music, Cody. Can we play the same five seconds over and over again? The stolen music to the people. At this point, my bra was still on. And we are... You know what I mean? And we are criticizing it. We're doing it for criticism.
Starting point is 00:27:57 My panties were on the floor, though. And it's... That's criticism. Bathroom floor. All right. I mean, it's a legal risk. It's just my job to say that. The man haze.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Okay, play the song. This is F and Cody's email. Do it. Play the song. Caribbean by Providence and Pomerantz's Waller. Lower it. I'm writing to officially inform you that I am resigning from my position as an Earwolf audio engineer.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Is there a subject? The subject, my official resignation. Tony! Wow, okay. Any other good parts? I would be loath to leave the company entirely. Depending on my availability and the company's willingness, I would be more than happy to offer freelance services upon request.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Okay. I'll be out of state. Coming up soon. And I can see his screen, and it actually says, I loathe the company entirely So he's adding some stuff here Sort of sugarcoating the message So you're going to be out of state
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yes This is true This point is mutual oral At this point The world turned upside down It's like kind of a 69-y thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My time at Earwolf
Starting point is 00:29:29 has been more than incredible. The direction and collaboration and inspiration I have experienced here is in all honesty a contributor to my desire to leave my employment as a recording engineer. It's our fault!
Starting point is 00:29:40 You had such a good time here. You want to leave? The job's so good I realized I shouldn't do it I definitely want to quit Officially This ice cream is too good, take it away from me I can't keep it in my house Wow
Starting point is 00:29:54 And advance my skills further Uh-huh Uh-oh And in earnest sincerity Cody Scully Uh-oh. And, in earnest sincerity, Cody Scully. Okay, you can turn it off now. Okay, Cody. I got some other parts of his email if you want to hear.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Okay. Okay. We did the part about if a tweet to you is worth faving, right? I found the joke. Okay. We did the part about if a tweet to you is worth faving, right? I found the joke. Okay. And it's in a good spot for a joke because it's in sort of a lighter section of what he was talking about. Come women and men who hashtag me too, and believe me when I say that we believe you. For weak is the man who calls truth fake news. Time's up, our silence we're breaking.
Starting point is 00:30:46 And even though Mel Gibson was in Daddy's home too, well, the times, they are a-changing. Oh, that is good. Wow. Legend status. Yes. Pop culture references. The legends wear leggings, my man.
Starting point is 00:30:58 We are about to go there. Because it's like, how did that guy get to be in that movie? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Excuse me. And also, how about this? Remember that?
Starting point is 00:31:11 Remember that movie? Remember that movie? That's a joke. And how, yes. Remember that movie? What else do you guys remember from the movies? He didn't call him Drumpf. He didn't call him Drumpf.
Starting point is 00:31:24 He didn't. Let meumpf. He didn't call him Drumpf. He didn't. Let me see. Let me see. I hope he did. That's mean, Sean. That might be too far. Sean, do you really hope that? Some of this shit fucking you trip out on.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Athletes with platforms throughout the land who by taking a knee are taking a stand. Wait, that's the opposite. But wait, that's not the opposite. Oh, yeah, that's interesting. Did he stop for a while to let people think about that part? That's artful. Cody? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:54 There's a big break. There's a bunch of blank space in the email. No one was paid for this because it's artful. Art beat. That was, you know. Wow. You guys seem grown-ish. An art beat. That was, you know. Wow. You guys seen Grown-ish? That's actually where I'm going to work.
Starting point is 00:32:09 And that's all good. You're going to go work at Grown-ish? Yep. It's funny you brought that up. You know, when I was making love in the toilet, I was a little Grown-ish. I'd be like, oh. Mutual oral on a toilet. It was in a grown-ish. I'd be like, oh. Mutual oral on a toilet. It was in a stall.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Okay. There was privacy. Or privacy, as the Brits like to say. Oh, then you'd be in the water closet. So I think it's time. Look, we've heard the email. We've heard a great song. I think now we have a real vision of Cody, what his message is.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Cody, you know what would actually be really nice, just since we did play the song, is to say, that was my idea. You're leaving. So you can't get in any trouble. So to say, just something we could put in at the beginning, like, I'm playing the song. It's my, Cody's choice. Maybe there's a song like, Whatcha Gonna Do? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Like Bad Boys? Yes. Yeah? It wouldn't be bad if it had a little reggae beat to it. That's for sure. So, Cody, just a song where you're taunting.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I played more than five seconds. Whatcha Gonna Do? Yes. I stole your PayPal password. And maybe you say – Scott Aukerman, what you going to do? I, Cody Scully, am fully financially responsible for any kind of repercussions that come from having to play this song. That could be a really good tribute to Cody.
Starting point is 00:33:39 That could be really cool. Just kind of send him out with a great tribute. Mm-hmm. be really cool. Just kind of send them out with a great tribute. Cody, see if you can find a reggae beat, and then maybe you're just jamming, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. About how it's your fault.
Starting point is 00:33:58 But there are no repercussions coming to you because you don't work here anymore. Because what are they going to do? Well, they can't even find you. You're not going to be in the state. Oh, is there going to be like a catch me if you can? He clearly doesn't want people to know what state he's going to be in. And it almost makes me think that he is going to be, maybe not in L.A., but he is going to be in California. He'll be in California, but he's going to be in a different state, meaning he's going to be zooted to the freaking moon. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yeah. He's going to be in an altered state. He's going to be freelancing. Oh, he'll be freelancing, all right. What's up? That just sounded like the beginning to something. Yeah, we thought we were going to say something else. Freelancing, you know, just like.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Oh, right, right, right. I just thought it was going to be a little turn. It would be a setup to a second half of something. Oh, yeah, that would be a setup to a second half of something. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. That would be terrific. Do you guys have anything? Maybe like Daddy's Home 2 something something. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Okay. Because it's a sequel. Mm-hmm. It'll be freelancing, all right. Did you find the music? Yeah. It'd be like Cody's Home 2. Cody's Home.
Starting point is 00:35:03 That could be good. That could be good. That could be good. All right, so you requested a reggae song? Yes. All right, here we go. This doesn't sound like reggae to me. No, it doesn't to me either. I think that might be the joke.
Starting point is 00:35:21 But can you just say... Oh, there's a joke? Yeah. You guys have to point these out to me, because, like that might be the joke. But can you just say Oh, there's a joke? Yeah. You guys have to point these out to me because that one was hidden. Cody, can you say it was my idea to play the Hamilton polka. It was my idea to play the Hamilton polka.
Starting point is 00:35:38 More than five seconds of it. More than five seconds of it. And keep going. And I will be held responsible for all legal and financial ramifications of said decision. What are you going to do? Ram-hand-ifications. Remember when that was your name? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Ram-hand. Seek out Ram-hand for financial restitution. I would cut that part later. Yeah. Yeah. It's just less tight. Was it your goal just to outlast Kulop? Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Was that kind of like... It was just like a hands on a hard body type thing. Kulop should have a song. We really should be doing a tribute. Does Kulop have a song in here? Yes. We really should be doing a tribute to Kulop in the musical that we've been doing. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:36:22 If Kulop could be like an angel, like beckoning him to like the gates of heaven. Oh, yeah. And be like, join me. That's nice. Join me, Cody, on the other side. That's nice. It's nicer here. It's like in Black Panthers.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Okay, so they're in the Black Panther like ancestral world. Yes. And Kulop comes walking up. Yes. Okay. No, Cody, do yours. Cody, you go.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Cody, by all means, finish your idea. And obviously it needs to be a female singing voice, so you go ahead. Yep. How you been? Oh, good. You're doing both sides of it? You don't want anyone to be Kula. There's no variation.
Starting point is 00:37:11 You're going to be Kula, man, Cody. It's like Anomalisa. It's like the same voice. That was trippy as hell. I like art films. What's it like out here? You tell me. You're here too.
Starting point is 00:37:29 We're all here. Everything is light. Join us, Cody. It's glowing. That's right. It's the light of a burning shed. Your eyes still work. Go into the shed, Cody. It's me, of a burning shed. Your eyes still work. Go into the shed, Cody.
Starting point is 00:37:47 It's me, Drew Droege. No! Thanks for coming by. The Apple Sisters? Yeah. Harm our superstar. Join us in the grave of earwolf legends. How to be less old
Starting point is 00:38:06 O-M-F-G Would you like a halo now? Yes, please. Hi, it's me, Professor Blastoff here. Oh, hey, Professor. The Hatch. You look so nice in gowns. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:38:27 It's me, Mike Detective. That was a great ending. I like the way it wrapped up. A really good way to go out. It really was a beautiful, I mean, it was, again, this show seems scripted now. Very strong wrap up. Almost too perfect. Yeah, people are like, they didn't scripted now. Very strong wrap up. Almost too perfect. Yeah, people are like, they didn't improvise that.
Starting point is 00:38:49 And they're right, we didn't. So, Cody, you went in the grave of the Earwolf Legends. Jeez. And I wake up out of the dust and I'm back here now. Well, look who's writing the show. Breathe. Man. Just Breathe?
Starting point is 00:39:02 Do you want that to be a song? Yeah, I'll listen to that. Doesn't seem song? Yeah, I'll listen to that. Doesn't seem like you do. I'll listen to that. I need you to be excited about it. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. Let's put that.
Starting point is 00:39:14 I've got plenty more. Okay, okay. I'll just circle back. Okay. Okay. Let's circle back. I'm going to circle back to the freelance thing, I think. You want him to have a freelancing song?
Starting point is 00:39:27 Like a bullfighter? That's actually more like throwing pizza. Or that one setup you want to finish. Oh, yeah, he'll be freelancing. Oh, did you get to the end of that? No, no, I'm just remembering that we're allowed to circle back to stuff like that. Allowed? We're encouraged. Yeah, I just didn't call it at the time.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Well. I call it now. Maybe it's something about Lance Armstrong. Yes. Oh, like freelance? Yeah. Oh, he'll be freelancing all right. Freeing Lance Armstrong from jail.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah. I love when Sean's quiet because it means he's like there's cookies in the oven and then boy are those cookies gooey when they come out yeah that's good yeah I'll circle back to a response to that what did you say Cody? I said marinating
Starting point is 00:40:19 Mark marinating oh Podcats that's another show that you're in the Earwolf group with. Oh, yeah. What was that about? That was a show about Mark Maron's cats. Who hosted it? So I know people, by the way, that have gotten shows rejected at Earwolf.
Starting point is 00:40:38 I do, too. Just a preface for this. It was a show starring Mark Maron's three cats. I think Eddie Pepitone was one of the voices. Do you remember who the other ones were? Jim Davis. Could have been. I don't remember who anyone was.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I didn't even know Pepitone. Kat Von D. He was definitely one of them. And it was like that Marc Maron was never on the show. He wasn't involved. And never involved. But Boomer the Cat was one of them. He gave his blessing, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Wasn't Jess Chaffin one of them? She could have been. That sounds right. You say Chaffin, I say Chaffin. Like I said, the handbook is very vague on all this stuff. I've stayed in her home. The employee handbook. I've been a house guest.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Okay, you're probably right. I definitely, like I wouldn't know because it's not in the employee handbook to know that stuff. The handbook again, he says. Yeah. He knows the name of the show. Are you quitting because there wasn't a handbook? I mean, there's a lot of things that play into a decision.
Starting point is 00:41:35 There's a lot of things in Beetlejuice that aren't in real life. This is such a good summary of Cody's career. It's true. It's the perfect way. This episode is the most fitting tribute I could imagine. It feels like Cody.
Starting point is 00:41:53 I didn't know going in that we'd be able to recreate Who's the love interest? There has to be a romance. Yeah, that's true. Oh, should we do, I mean Should we do a song about Cody's girlfriend? Sure, yeah, that would be good
Starting point is 00:42:11 Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, can you get us some music? Sure, here we go Wait, wait, what, can I, I need to know a little more about, never mind $1.54 for a teepee, $2 for bowling, $3.25 for sponges and dish detergent. Love is settling up. If you love someone, you settle up. You Venmo for everything either one of you buys. Either one of you buys. Keep it public.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Everyone has to know exactly how petty you are about the money you spend in your relationship. I still use PayPal. I mentioned it before. I stole a couple passwords, but I've since reformed. Thank you, Julie. Thank you, Julie. And Cody, you want to say something special to Alyssa? Ferris Square. Turned it up to do that.
Starting point is 00:43:22 He blasted the music. Very good engineering. I can see why you feel like you've grown out of... And that you earned that money you stole. ...Earwolf, and that now it's time to really learn more, that you know that what the engineer does is when it's time to say something, you turn the music up. My one moment to deliver any message I want to the love of my life. Let me just blast the music under what I say.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Over what I say. Over what I say. The music's playing under it. Well, it's over if it's louder. Should I propose to her, maybe? I thought you just did. Maybe. I couldn't hear. The music was very loud. Yeah, you can propose
Starting point is 00:43:59 on the show. It would also be fun to buy a wedding ring. The way you propose would be to buy a ring and then see a payment on Venmo, a payment request. That's a great proposal. For half the cost of a wedding ring. I love getting invoiced. That's what I meant. I love it.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Yeah. Because it's official. Yeah. You could ignore a text that's like, you owe me $505.01. You know what I mean? Just an honest proposal. You put that in the note section of the invoice, like memo? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Uh-huh. That's a trick question. There are no memo sections. It's a check. Gotcha. Gotcha, bitch. I've never seen anybody get busted that bad. Hey, what was I going to circle back to before?
Starting point is 00:44:48 Well, you were talking about the Lance Armstrong thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we not put that to bed? Well, you said you were going to circle back. Well, we gave you a lot of compliments. That I liked. And then you not only absorbed the compliments, but you go, yeah, that's good. Like you gave yourself one too, and then you said, I'm going to circle back to it.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Mm-hmm. Okay. Should we do just like another theme for Cody? What do you mean a theme? Just like Cody, you know, just like a scene in the musical for just him doing. Have you seen a musical? Yeah. It has scenes in it.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Oh, I thought you said theme. No, they also have themes. What are you talking about? I don't understand what you're getting at, Hayes. I'm just challenging you the way that I like to challenge my students. Because I have like a duffel bag full of cash. Am I being crazy? No.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Don't gang up on me. Don't gang up on me. Wait, I have to be honest. This is my freaking host here. This is my captain. As a sidekick, I can't go against man haze. This is the music for your theme? Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Hit record. Everybody's talking. What's going on? Press play. Vice news. I know what we're doing now. Okay. What's going on? Press play. Vice News. Oh, I think I know what we're doing now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:11 This is like a day in the life, basically. Like what he usually does before he realizes that he's going to quit. I'm loving this Vice News. I'm learning so much Vice News. Boy, is this nice news. What about a Bible for lads? A picture of a man playing PlayStation in the tub. I'm laughing so hard I can barely host the show.
Starting point is 00:46:48 You can hear the multiple things I'm watching and listening to through the computer as we're trying to record. And I'm editing Scarborough Country 2. Oh no. They're talking to me
Starting point is 00:47:05 Why do I keep hearing my name In my headphones No I got a snappy response I got a snappy response I gotta think of a snappy response What's my snappy response I must have been misleading
Starting point is 00:47:24 When I said I got a snappy response What I meant to say was I need a snappy response I don't got a snappy response What's my snappy response? Hey it's Cody I uploaded the episode Try to play it, the file size is
Starting point is 00:47:40 Zero kilobytes Heading to the dropbox Now File size is zero kilobytes. Heading to the Dropbox now. 30 minutes later. Hey, I checked the Dropbox. There's nothing in here. Sorry, the internet on our end is being really slow. No problem will do.
Starting point is 00:48:04 No problem will do. Why is everyone so mad at me? Cody's theme. I owe you an apology, Hayes. Right? Yeah, I know. I know when to admit that I am wrong. And that felt like something out of a musical, that you're kind of getting the theme in.
Starting point is 00:48:25 I already apologized, Sean. Okay, but is there any reason that I shouldn't twist the knife? That's good pod. Oof. Oofa. Oofa. Well, do we need any more songs?
Starting point is 00:48:42 What time is it? Is there anything else you want to say, Cody? Probably a Blue Apron finale, I'd say. A song? That's more Chef Kevin's thing. Right, fine. I guess I'll just shut the fuck up then.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Okay. I'm at a loss for words at what I would say. I think I've said quite a bit. That's a fun Gilbert and Sullivan. I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what I what I would say. I think I've said quite a bit. That's a fun Gilbert and Sullivan. I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what I say. I don't know what I... But he's saying a lot.
Starting point is 00:49:11 I think that's what he was trying to do. Yeah, yeah. What do you guys think? What would you say if you were me? If I was you? Oh, nothing. I'd clam up. I would have been gone already.
Starting point is 00:49:24 You're here for like two more weeks. Senior slump. Who's replacing you? Oh, that's a good idea. What about that as the finale? Oh, wow. Like, look, it's me. I'm a fresh young face.
Starting point is 00:49:36 And I'm new in town. Engineer. I'm eager and, you know. Takes off his backpack. And it is a his. It's not a woman. I've been at Earwolf long enough to know, if anything, it'll be a man dressed as a woman. Oh, funny.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Which is really funny. But it's not going to be a woman. And it ends with him. He puts the headphones on at the end. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Upbeat, upbeat. Here we end. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Upbeat, upbeat.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Here we go. Yes. Here I am on my first day. Can't wait to sit in Cody's seat. Turn on the computer. The only program is at Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard. How did this guy do his job? What has he been doing for six years?
Starting point is 00:50:28 Chef Kevin here. Can I get you anything? New engineer? You bet you can. I'd like some stuff. Oi, bruv. Hope you fit right in. It's me, Colin.
Starting point is 00:50:39 I'm chuffed. Hey, it's me, Josh. I'm kind of the alpha dog in this office. Hi, it's Julie Klausner. I'm lost again. Can you give me some directions? Sean, can you
Starting point is 00:50:56 just come down? Ooh, yeah. Hang on. Yeah, I'm getting texted. Hold on. Okay, I see her. She's right directly in front of the building. Can I say walk straight? I'm afraid she'll go into the road.
Starting point is 00:51:14 Help! Help! Help! A being run over by a bus. Goodbye, Cody. Bye. Wait, wait. Goodbye Cody Bye Wait wait He goes I think I'm gonna like it here
Starting point is 00:51:32 And then he puts the things on Oh that's cool Yeah Sets us up for a sequel as well You know what I'm glad you didn't shut the fuck up Thanks Ace Thanks guys
Starting point is 00:51:43 That was a cool ending. Thank you. I can picture it. Are you done circling back? We got to do ads, unfortunately. We don't have a ton of time. We've got to do ads. So I'm not going to be able to circle back.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Something to tune in for next week, I guess. Julie, got anything you want to plug? Just the meetings you're taking while you're here? Yeah. You want to kind of vision board your meetings and visualize how they're going to go? I just want to plug The Fish Out of Water by Guillermo del Toro. It's such a fun movie and kind of messed up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Yeah. It's called The Fish Out of Water. Okay. It's kind of messed up. Yeah. Yeah. It's called The Fish Out of Water. Okay. Don't know what that means. I mean, I just don't know. Yeah, I'm not up on the movies this year. That's fascinating.
Starting point is 00:52:35 That's so unlike you. It's so off-brand. Are you depressed? Yes. Bye. I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon.
Starting point is 00:52:56 For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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