Hollywood Handbook - Lily Sullivan, Our Close Friend Again
Episode Date: September 20, 2022The Boys have a little fun catching up with their friend LILY SULLIVAN.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy... and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
this is a head gum podcast
one yeah tablespoon yep raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar no yes no none of this
crap they put in and add to it get the real one one tablespoon cooked chill filtered apple cider
cider vinegar yeah you gotta chill filter it and then cook it hot yeah and and blend obviously spoon cumin juice six ounces sour apple schnapps pucker i guess pucker schnapps yes sour apple
yeah pucker brand i use pucker put in a dish set it outside the birds
seeing the birds
and seeing the birds show up
second best part of my day
the best part
watching them leave
watching them leave after they finished
their treat
and I add
the little
pebbles from the bottom of a bottle of aftershock as well
i leave those i leave those in the bottom because they'll carry those away and put them in their
nest or give them to their children you gotta eat the pebble and it's it's really beautiful
nature and humanity can exist in harmony but we have to want it we have to reach out to each other
and this is you know we build these walls and we make these barriers these dividers
uh and and it keeps us apart it makes it feel like it's two different things
and if we're gonna get through this we're going to need to align ourselves so i have my windows
open i took the screens out and i and i have dishes all over the house with this this concoction
and the birds and i they're slurping oh my god the baths they take in the apple cider vinegar two types with the with the schnapps it's like you see them waking
up to like yes oh these weird big uh doofuses are on to something yes and what's you know
what's important to me is we're giving them space to build community with each other
okay well it's a social lubricant it's a social lubricant works yes you know what
i mean like the birds are like us in the sense they're so inhibited talk to lily talk about
your experience well no see i was i was just gonna say i'm more of a squirrels girl okay
yeah what what's the squirrel recipe first of all i think milana was cast as that already i don't
want to yeah squirrel girl's taken well yeah you said squirrels girl it's plural multiple squirrels
same thing oh i guess that's the sequel i assume she's got a contract. Yeah. Yeah, like the squirrels are, it's like possessive of me.
Squirrels girl.
You've been captured by the squirrels.
So yeah.
That's right.
And I'm a birds man,
even though Michael Keaton is of course,
bird man.
This is like your Toby Jones Capote movie
that comes out at exactly the same time.
So every morning, I basically I go out and you guys know squirrel picnic tables, obviously.
Yeah.
Every morning, I basically go out to the squirrel picnic table, I guess.
Yeah, it's pretty much exactly that.
I built more of a full set for them.
We're in Hollywood.
What is a picnic table?
When I see a picnic table, it's usually just that.
Yeah, but in this case, do you have to cough more?
Are you done?
You didn't have to do that. Yeah, you were coughing because I was talking.
I was just making sure you were done.
He wasn't coughing because you were talking.
No.
I was coughing because I was coughing.
Don't flatter yourself, honey.
Sweetie. Ew, no. was coughing don't flatter yourself honey sweetie um ew no no don't you dare no hey little stupid little baby did you hear me when i'm talking i'm talking now so you have to shut your dumb little
hole it's not his is it really in the middle no no his is a little off to the right
yeah his mouth is kind of i had it adjusted because when i was sleeping i kept kind of
but i have a very scratchy pillowcase and it was starting to erode the lip material. The skin?
It was creating more mouth.
I don't think of it as skin.
Yeah, the mouth was getting bigger.
And so what I did was I just had everything shifted over
so then I could sleep on this side
and my lips aren't touching the pillow.
So you're like this.
Like you talk like Drew Barrymore.
Like this.
Hello.
So, yeah.
So.
So.
Oh, my gosh.
Crazy.
Your rain.
It's beautiful.
The rain.
Yes, we need this.
I knew it.
Go outside and enjoy the rain while you can.
Do you remember the song about feeling the rain on your skin?
Feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can feel it for you.
She actually had a really hard childhood.
She did?
She actually did, yeah.
So I can't do an impression of's like and so i can't i can't like do no you can't
no you cannot thank you so much for asking no you can't she did have a really hard childhood
but she's had a remarkably easy adulthood yes yeah doesn't it cancel out i feel like that
i had a hard childhood too my parents's coping with her childhood is having a very easy adulthood.
I've had a medium everything.
Yeah, you seem like it.
I know.
It seems like it's been mediocre the whole time.
Yeah.
Brave.
So brave.
When people say God grant me the confidence
of a mediocre white man,
that's me.
Yeah, it is. Yeah. No, white man. That's me. Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
No, no doubt.
Haze too.
And you know what I say to that?
Honey.
Hashtag haze too.
Honey, you think you want this confidence.
But what they don't know is I'm actually shy.
No.
Secretly, I'm actually really shy shy and that's what's like what's so crazy
like of course like i go when i hear it i go it's it's working right like obviously it's working
people want my confidence oh my god but i have to laugh a little bit too because like i'm actually really shy you're so i don't talk about
it i don't talk about it i'm so shy it's very it's very uwu today
ah god what did you build in your in this yeah what's happening so it's basically the set of Seinfeld, but for squirrels. It's so funny watching them.
Which part?
Which part of Seinfeld?
The diner.
It's the diner?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
You thought it was going to be Jerry's house, didn't you?
Well, it's not a house.
It's a big salad.
Are they eating the big salad?
Yeah, they're eating the big salad.
They're having the big salad they're having the um you know rye sandwiches
this girls were gonna have to eat by like they go over and open the cabinet and they take out
a cereal box and they walk around and they talk to george and they well that would be very predictable
but in this one it's sort of like it's more fun i think it's a pretty original funny idea but
well that's what you think it would be it's a pretty original, funny idea.
Well, that's what you'd think it would be.
That's what everyone thought it was going to be.
Sorry, I'm trying to catch Kevin up.
Kevin, Seinfeld is sort of like... You know how you watch The Office?
Of course.
So, imagine they weren't...
Imagine it wasn't so fake.
Oh.
Yeah.
Documentary of The Office office but i want to get
back to like the way he said you know how you watch the office like the specific way you watch
the office you said of course because you dress up like jim and pam and then you sit down and you
watch right he dresses up like down the middle like two-faced yeah two-faced
split costume jim haircut with jim and pam and then he hugs himself myself like they're hugging
they're both wearing wedding ring both hands if you go to pick something up at kevin's place he'll
be like he'll be like hang on let me just get out of my jam wig, which I guess is like this side's Jim and this side's Pam.
And it's like, okay, you can just do it.
For a little while, half of you was probably pregnant because, you know, Pam.
I was pregnant and then I was disheveled jim early seasons and then
i slicked my hair up uh some days so i i really go through the story leatherheads era jim leatherhead
era jim and then sometimes it's when when jim dresses up as dwight so you're basically jim as
dwight yeah and one half and then pam right there's a final then Pam. Right. Kevin didn't like when that happened.
No.
It just made him
uncomfortable and scared.
He was kind of standing back in the corner
watching. He was still clapping
when he normally does.
Wait a minute. What the fuck is
going on? Hang on.
Hold on.
That's not Dwight, right?
But it is.
And he just kept rewinding that section.
Kevin, do you feel like-
Hi, Lily.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm okay.
Stop coughing when I'm talking.
It has nothing to do with you talking.
It absolutely does.
Sean make me want to have cough drop.
Do you feel like that Jim was too hard on Dwight?
Looking back.
I think it helped Dwight.
At first I did.
It was good for him.
I said this, I says to myself, I myself, this is too hard on Dwight.
But then as the later seasons
happened, Robert California,
others, I thought
maybe this actually helped Dwight
all along.
What do you think? Thoughts?
You know, sometimes I felt bad
for Dwight, you know?
That was a yes or no.
What did you think? Thoughts? yes or no what did you think thoughts yes
or no yes
yeah me too
Dwight's neuro is typical so
did you guys
think that Jim was hot
yeah I would smash
I wouldn't pass
because
he at first seems like
okay this guy's kind of a goofball.
He's got like sort of rounded features and his hair was a little bit shaggy.
But when you look at his body, he's packing heat.
He's fucking tall.
And I don't know if you saw him kill Benghazi or whatever.
And like, I don't know if you saw him kill like Benghazi or whatever.
Yeah. But he whipped their ass.
Yeah.
And it was all just like, it was all up here.
This is the end of the line for you, Benghazi.
Yeah.
Lay your weapons down.
Shaggy Jim, just like me for real for real yeah it was early jim who killed everything right yeah done the fucking chopper he killed a lot of stuff he was violent early jim later jim was tired
Jim. Later Jim was tired.
Yeah, I like the episode where he fell asleep.
Yeah. So we're on the same page about it, about our Jim opinions.
And Pam, do you guys think
Pam is hot?
Pam
is the...
Are you kidding? We like just talked about
it for like a really long time.
That's a long time to you.
Yeah, this podcast is taking forever.
I feel like I've been on it for like 45 minutes.
Kevin, so we've been on for like 45 minutes kevin so uh we've got it we've been
trying to make this show have more like segments so people can kind of connect better so plug in
something at the top of that last segment called first jim pressions great okay just so people
know like this is the part where we're going to talk about jim um i don't have one for pam but i think we might cut the whole pam thing just because
just for lily's sake because she was being sort of rude to me the host all i did was add
yeah kevin go on his kevin on his instagram he kept uh was uh promoting his new book of chili recipes recently
and he got the galleys and he was like flipping through it's very the book is very big and long
and he's like turning the pages and he's like wow i can't believe it this is so exciting my
book of chili recipes and i was watching and waiting no one consulted me of course but if
i had been involved i would say he should drop the drop the book and spill the book spill the book everywhere
is that would that be so much funnier oh my gosh
yeah i think that would be really good i'll like all over the floor i'm watching waiting for him
to spill the book rolling around in the book getting the pages all over the floor. I'm watching, waiting for him to spill the book. Rolling around in the book. Yeah, so funny. Getting the pages
all over himself.
Kevin, that would put Kevin flat
on his back. He's kicking his
feet in the air.
Yeah.
Do you feel like you're a kindred spirit
to Kevin on The Office
because you guys have the same name?
Yeah.
That is such a good question and answer.
Hollywood Handbook.
This week on the Patreon,
Carl and I work on season two of his TV show, Tarts Unknown.
The boys discuss my contributions to my sister's wedding
on the pro version,
and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball.
Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Lily at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.
Hollywood Handbook.
Eating better is easy with factors.
Delicious, ready to eat meals.
Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietitian approved, ready to go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just
two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never
frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of
this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal
yeah it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't
just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing
the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart
protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be
there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long
how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're
so tired after you eat my meal.
The promise is the meal makes us sleepy.
You've been pushing that so much.
You're saying that you will be added on to your bed.
Yeah.
Your bed plus one.
That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.
It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy.
They have smoothies and things like that.
This is wrong.
Reservation for two.
Me walking in my bedroom.
What's the second?
It's you and your bed.
I guess Clippy.
Fuel up fast with Factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are.
Pancake smoothies and more.
Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, midday bites and more.
No, we didn't even.
This is not even up for consideration so let's just
hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one
huge chicken nugget sign up and save we've done the math factor is less expensive than takeout
every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off.
That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com
slash theboys50 to get 50% off.
Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel,
the science-backed language learning app
that actually works.
Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or
waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always
get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a
product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language
so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has
visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages
handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks.
Babbel is designed by real people
for real conversations
and that includes body-based conversations.
What does it mean
when you drop someone off
after a nice date
and they turn around at the door
and they take their little index finger
and they kind of like draw it towards them?
They're pulling it what does
that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying
to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need
and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing
with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do
something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like
almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving
and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really
aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just
do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing. That seems dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.
Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.
Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others can't feel good to be others there.
Continue to prove Babbel is better.
One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.
Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold.
All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.
Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners right now.
Get 55% off your Babbel subscription,
but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash the boys.
Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys,
spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys.
B-A-B-B-E-L.
B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash the boys.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy,
but you'll always be glad you did it.
Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.
Hey, guys.
Rocket Money is a personal finance app
that finds and cancels
your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills you can see all your
subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a tap i never
have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of
our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that
you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27
dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i did not cancel and i you know
buy like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses
oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not
they were either way too big or way too small for a human
yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a
raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get
you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money
and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your
bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save
its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions
and that was i mean just to be fully transparent
that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about
hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that
was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use.
Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
Rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
We did want to talk to you, Lily, a little bit, if that's okay.
Yeah, sure.
So, obviously, we did your okay. Yeah, sure. So obviously we did your show.
Yeah.
Brave.
Really brave.
It just came out.
Yeah, I was going to say,
one of the things I liked looking back
is a lot of people get to a certain level
and they're so interested in like protecting their image or whatever that they won't
be the butt of the joke ever but i i think in a pretty cool way um haze and i were able to and
willing to and with your uh guidance um kind of get clowned on a little bit insulted a little um
oh did you feel that way i thought i thought you know in a way that shows like we can laugh at
ourselves uh and nobody's nerfect or whatever nobody's nerfect but nobody's nerfect um and nobody's nobody's normal nobody's nernic no yeah
any of them any of those uh and i thought that was awesome and i was wondering what the
feedback response has been for you yeah um uh not your feedback for us
but more maybe i'll give you both what's been happening for you it must be kind of a world
i wasn't wondering because i'm tagged in every single one of these freaking oh my god things
right and so i actually wasn't wondering at all all the this parade of simps showing up in my Oh, my God. Right? That's how you do social media.
All this parade of simps showing up.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for my show. This is just what I needed.
Did you guys get a big boost after?
Did your follower count just zoom up?
You were like, oh my god, 400?
425 total?
400 cents.
As they were coming in, I was flicking them away.
Every time these followers came in, I had my swatter out.
Well, you know, I guess to answer your question to answer your question um well
first of all like every time i do that show people are like i kind of let the guests do their own
thing which i feel like is something you guys don't let happen at all on your show what's your own thing do whatever
you want yeah yeah right now i start the timer kevin new segment you have 30 seconds to do your this segment's called hit me with your guest
wow you're singing for the last part, like it didn't even register. You were hitting the invisible note.
Come on, yeah, here we come.
Wow, you're singing.
Here we come.
Here we come.
Come.
Wow, that's really nice.
That's normally what I would do if I was on a show.
But you guys really like dom people when they come on you're like you like bend them over and tell them to shut up
oh my oh my god lily what you know it's true no coughing through every time people like the uh
that's the fast and the furious the cars guy That's how we dom people. Yeah, we dom people by making them a part of our family and supporting them.
You wish.
You guys go silent after everyone.
People say stuff and then you go dead silent.
You let them just die.
Oh my God.
That is me providing space for you.
No way.
To edit me out, probably. That is me providing space for you. No way. Yes.
To edit me out, probably.
Kevin wants us to, he said, if the guest is sounding off, you know, let's not make any decisions in the moment.
Let's leave some room for the edit. Because when everybody's talking over each other, it's like.
Yeah, because you guys are jumping in.
So are we jumping in or are we being quiet like you're doing you're doing both like when i talk you're jumping in but when i say
something when i finally get a sentence out you go silent so it dies so everyone is like well that
was bad tell me what how you want me to behave on the show because i want this to be a positive experience for you i had so much fun on your show helping you i had such a great time kind of raising the visibility
of a show that i thought was like really a hidden gem in the podcast landscape
something that like it sort of was my thank you yeah so what do you want
me to do in that spot i just think like i could jump in and riff with you you know what i mean
i could clear out and just kind of give you the lane and let you kind of run with it like whatever
you need because i want you to set you up yeah, I think it's like, you know, the way like talk show hosts, like, you know how they are, how they really gas up the guest.
It's fake.
Yeah, be fake with me.
Like, you know, tell me I look good today.
You know?
Ask you if your kid, like how your kids are and you have something, some crazy thing.
And I have some story planned.
Wait, so what should my story be?
Let's figure it out.
Let's gas you up first.
Hey, is that like a
what's that, a fiddler leaf?
Fiddle leaf.
Fiddle leaf, yeah.
Fiddler on the leaf.
No, I want you to be more complimentary
of me, not my house.
Okay. See how silent you you went see how you let that
die well i'm thinking i'm thinking about how long it takes you to think is you just you just sit
there that's that's not that long to think i i don't know i've talked to some i talked to some
people where their lights are really not on upstairs. I don't think it's like so
long to wait.
I might not be as quick
as Lily or whatever,
but I'm doing my best.
That zany improv.
Did you guys do any improv classes?
This is
every episode. Go back and listen. We talk about this every single episode go back and listen we talk about this
every episode we always discuss our improv training
and how those lessons have informed all our relationships and all our business affairs
did you like life is improv life is a fucking goddamn slow herald okay life is a callback california
i did montessori improv training so you started young yeah yeah where very self-directed very much like finding my passion within improv which was exposing logical bumps
uh and i came out just a very funny illiterate
i did steam i i was in a steam program for improv
so you know science technology engineering arts and mathematics uh and that and so um
we would improvise our way through a car engine but also involving art as well uh and yeah and so
you know i i felt free to draw on the engine. And then I would say like,
this is real.
Like I would say something fake, you know, was real.
And like pretend.
And it was really,
it opened up my mind to this whole like playfulness
that I think I had put away.
Felt like I wasn't allowed to do anymore.
The world's really tough.
Yeah, the world is ending.
Isn't it?
Isn't it a dumpster fire?
People are dying.
I was in a steampunk burger.
Someone just died.
I was just, yes.
So it's all those things.
Well, it just doesn't seem like you guys did.
Like if you had bought all the training that I bought,
because I trained at every single school
across the United States,
and I paid the $10,000 to take the 25 classes
in each program.
And I...
What's the difference between the programs programs so which one do you want me
to start with um i guess go east to west yeah io well i was gonna say start with like io
i can start there for sure io mountain is it's basically sharna's at the top. You guys know Sharna, of course.
She has her dogs.
So you have to make friends with the dogs.
So it's an actual mountain?
I thought it was like west, east, like mountain time.
But you're saying that there is an actual mountain
that she is on the top of?
Oh no, she's at the top of the mountain.
You have to claw your way to the top.
You claw your way
up this mountain yeah
wow on all fours you get to the top you make friends with the dogs
bam sharna's like you want to be in the snl showcase
who are these new clowns they just put in there
and i say clowns to me that's a compliment complimentary yes they're supposed to be a
clown to be on the show you you're supposed to be clowning around you should be amusing everyone
what about you guys did you ever audition for snl you know i'm like yeah i'm interviewing you
i'm like interviewing you guys so much more well what was your snl showcase like what were your
impressions um what you know what what were we
working with in terms of like character pieces for them i did like um miss loud right miss loud
miss tell me you did miss loud yeah oh yeah computer this computer oh please press return that was the kind of the catchphrase lauren's fucking losing it he's trying
not to press return he's going like i'm i'm famous for not laughing at these things like i'm not
gonna laugh at miss computer you're you're asking him to press return and he's like
he couldn't make it through his fanta shoots out all over his
he likes chest and lap he likes when you're cute you know
yeah so i came in like real looking mad cute with his fugly ass
um drunk cousin oh wow you did oh you did that one yeah that played there have been so many drunk characters
on the show but none of them with quite as much emphasis uh that they are on the cousin
and there haven't been many cousin characters at all no so to take one so to bust down that wall you know what happened after i did drunk cousin
lauren gave me a handshake lauren called you over
off the stage into the seats yes wow gave me a handshake of course his hand was all covered in
me a handshake of course his hand was all covered in nasty nasty shit yeah but well there's this fanta that he just spit out on it when he's on his computer yeah yeah and then that probably
made some bugs come fly it over to get a little couple slurps of the little flies just stuck on
his little hand eaten away yeah so that's not your favorite handshake, but the sentiment behind it is incredible.
Oh, yeah.
No, it was amazing.
It was exhilarating.
And then they put me back in the dressing room
for another seven and a half hours.
And then celeb impressions, didn't you?
I mean, you have to do at least one celeb impression.
And then they had me come out for the impressions.
I came out about 11.30 p.m. at night.
They had you come back out to do back out
so i was in the night i was in the dressing room you know surrounded by other clowns eating a warm
tray of different accoutrements and which was like doritos and like Cheetos and chips and Cokes.
And then I got called back out and yeah,
I did my Anna Kendrick.
Cause you know,
I look like her.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That,
so that is funny.
So then what,
um,
like,
cause it's something I've noticed,
something I've noticed with these celebrity impressions is you can have
them doing either like something crazy they would never do yes uh that we don't associate with them
at all or something very mundane um so if the if the celebrity has like a a huge big voice like if
it's like something like it's al pacino and then it's like al pacino you
know orders orders his subway and then he's just going like uh what uh maybe some banana pepper
you know like and he's get he he's getting sick what's what's what's that sauce over there
you know which that's so good
and he's doing that
you know what
actually
toast it first
and so
toast it then the cheese is that strange
do people do that here
if I was in this scene I would be like
but you already put the lettuce on
you want me to put it through
hot lettuce so there's that I would be like, but you already, yeah, I already put the lettuce on. You want me to put it through?
Hot lettuce.
And then, you know, so there's that.
Or, you know, if they have, I think of Anna Kendrick as having sort of a more of a smaller, more contained persona.
And so maybe you put her into like a heightened situation or something. off uh a hostage negotiator yeah exactly yeah um okay and so and so you're right wait hang on
hang on i just want to let's check in with kevin really quick because something happened for him
kevin sort of said wow under his breath he was kind of listening to the side he was a little lightheaded
thinking about that what was that for like what was that for you you need a little time to catch
up or just picturing it i wasn't even thinking about the audition i just felt like i was there
wow where and where were you at the hostage hostage negotiation with the country okay oh so the
subway one didn't like really capture you no subway one was great too that's okay it was off
the top of my head and you know who were you when you were there kevin who were you when you're
inhabiting that scene like probably the guy in the hostage
you were the hostage
yeah so the hostage
he said I'm the guy in the hostage
I know I know
so there's a little man inside
the hostage
that they don't even realize
that the hostage is harboring
a tiny man
his own hostage the hostage has aboring a tiny man who's Kevin. His own hostage.
The hostage has a hostage.
Wow, what a twist.
And Anna Kendrick is being like, I'm going to tweet about this.
That was my catchphrase for her.
Famous.
Got to tweet about this.
We all follow her, you know, and we'd all see it.
I think I just came up with a good hashtag for this one
i can't do the voice the way you do but i think i just came up with a good hashtag for this one
that is feeling like you already look like exactly right exactly as well i don't have to do much i
just i just basically say stuff like it's a catchphrase and it slays. Yeah. And Lauren is like, you hear Lauren whisper, she is up there eating.
But he's talking about the ants on the end of his.
The end of his palm.
Yeah.
She's feasting.
Well, and then if you're lucky, you know.
Lily's eating.
If you're lucky, if you do really well with the SNL audition like I did, then Lauren has you go to a drink with him afterwards.
Yeah.
And you go to like a restaurant and he has you sit on the floor and he sits at the table.
Wow.
It's like a table tall. tall yeah it's a high top
does he give you toys he gives you crayons and one of those menus to color in oh
wow so yeah i mean i like i got really clearly, because that's what, I mean, you guys saw on my side. That's as far as you got those.
No, I got to the next, to do the hot tub with him.
Oh, wow.
It's ice cold, is this right?
Freezing hot tub.
Dead pigeon rolling around in there.
You get in first.
It's up against one of the jets that has just rotated.
Like a rotisserie chicken, but it's a pigeon in a cold hot tub.
And then you just sit there for like six or seven hours.
Because that's basically, if you're honest enough,
that's the kind of experiences they need to know that you can make it through.
What's your endurance level for this show?
It's really hard.
It's exhausting.
Yes.
The infidelity alone is is exhausting
exactly but yeah um i didn't make it through the hot tub portion um yeah something about did you
feel like you looking back do you feel like oh that's where i that I maybe missed out. Yeah. Yeah. I think...
Are you good?
No.
So, yeah, looking back...
Not for some time now.
Not for quite some time.
Thank you.
No one's checked in.
So, the test, I think, is whether or not...
Thank you, Hayes. did you so the test i think is like whether or not in the hot tub is whether you are pretending
it's hot i know the instinct of a lot of people is to not hurt his feelings
yeah you're like pretending it's hot so you're like slowly lowering yourself in
and you're like oh oh jeez yikes this is oh i don't know how long i'm gonna last yeah but he wants a straight shooter just
yep slip in there yeah and so i you know i pretended like it was really hot that was
number one fail you were actually supposed to just be like oh it should be hotter
then i got in um i didn't realize the pigeon right away and i guess you're supposed to realize
the pigeon immediately the dead pigeon okay you didn't realize it in time i just didn't realize the pigeon right away. And I guess you're supposed to realize the pigeon immediately. The dead pigeon.
Okay.
You didn't realize it in time?
I just didn't notice it.
Because I'm used to just random stuff floating around in water.
It's New York.
It's whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You know, like my twins are wild.
What are you supposed to do when you realize the pigeon, your words,
what are you supposed to do?
Do you just point it out and say that's a... No. do you just point it out say that's a no apparently you're
supposed to go is that a pigeon wow say or you could say oh geez louise is that a pigeon
but it has to be like a fun saying. But it's a question.
You go, what if you go, I'll have what he's having.
I think that'd be good.
Yeah, see, Kevin nodded along.
He's like, that one's good.
That's good.
I'm in the hostage.
That's good.
He's here to gas us up.
Yeah, by the way, I have not gotten gassed.
No one's gassed me yet. I gave you a good gas.
Are you fucking insane? Are you fucking insane? I was gassed. No one's gassed me yet. I gave you a good guess. Are you fucking insane?
Are you fucking insane?
I was losing it for Miss Computer, for Miss Loud,
for Anna Kendrick, the hostage negotiator.
All of these things had me dying.
And I thought you really handed yourself well with the crayons.
We can keep doing it.
Lily, your center part is immaculate today.
It's very precisely mowed.
You've mowed your part perfectly today.
Thank you so much.
This is a way that I let people know I'm like actually.
You're insanely young, right? Yeah. Like you're like crazy, crazy young. I'm a people know I'm like actually. You're insanely young, right?
Yeah.
Like you're like crazy, crazy young.
I'm a baby.
I'm like 17.
That's so nuts.
But I see it now that you say it, but it is like wild.
Like that's funny.
We're both, we're actually both young.
How old are you guys?
Huh?
We're young as well.
How young?
Yeah.
Like what, like what's the um what's your horoscope and what
year were you born because i need to know both yeah honestly both shit both yes i'm young i'm
wearing a backpack i'm running up the stairs on all fours
I'm running up the stairs on all fours.
What about you?
Me?
What are my young credentials? What's your young qualities?
I just take a long time to figure out what to say or do.
I just have no fucking idea what's going on.
I drink from cups with both hands.
Yeah.
It's very well established on this show.
But of course, when I am using the urinal, I hold my T-shirt under my chin.
And you take pants and underwear both all the way down.
Pants and underwear both completely off.
Does that just help you calm down when you do that?
It just keeps everything out of the way.
I'm not calm still.
Can't be too sure.
But, you know, you just need to create as much clearance as possible.
And my t-shirt's so long, so.
Yeah.
I'm so young, too, that, like if i like i'll feel like really insecure about like
even if i go to like the checkout at the grocery store and like if it's like even slightly awkward
i'm like thinking about it for like five years after that wow that's like beating myself up like
why did i say that i wanted to get the kit kat when i didn't want it
you know what i mean like see i'm still doing it and still that's a real one that's a real one
yeah i guess i should have known i'm always like is this anna kendrick doing this or like you know
yeah see that's what's that's what's fucked's that's what's tripping me out she's young too yeah she's
really young she is yeah she's young like us kevin how new how young are you does this answer
your question wedding uh bride can't see it at all so is that a bonnet no freaking bonnet i'm a little baby oh you caught the bonnet
wow you caught the bonnet at the baby will you put it on
wow it's so cute baby wow gaga you look so cute that That's really cute. Kevin is also,
whenever I'm with Kevin
and he sees a tool
of any kind, he goes,
is that safe for me to use
or is that only for grown-ups?
Which I think is a very young
quality.
You look in that bonnet like a
widowed baby.
You look like a baby whose entire family died.
It's sitting alone in the front row at the funeral
and everyone's coming by to...
Pay their respects.
Pay their respects to this little baby sitting there.
It's a tough position for the baby as well
to have to kind of make them feel comfortable
about it yes yeah like oh they really would they really they loved you they would have
loved that you were here and honestly ideal if your whole family dies somehow like when you're
a baby like best case scenario kevin either take your your hand your fist off your cheek, or do it like cuter
like, oh, brother.
No, no, no.
Yeah. Deeper in.
Do your
mouth to the side like Drew Barrymore
callback. Yeah.
Nope, nope. Keep your fist on that side.
Don't move your fist to the other side.
Literally, my grandma gives me
fist pounds now,
but she goes too high, and I always think she wants a hug.
She's punching you.
She's trying to punch you.
Bring it in or punch.
Kevin.
No.
Kevin, your grandma is punching you.
She's trying to punch your lights completely out.
She is trying to knock your ass out.
Wait, you know what?
You guys, I just remembered.
In high school.
You got to go?
Yeah, I got to go. This has been fine. You have to go to high school you gotta go yeah i gotta go this has been fine you
have to go to high school thanks for having me yeah yeah how long is this one which one am i on
am i on the good one or the bad one this is this is actually the good one but it's for a bad reason
lucky you um so did you guys win any superlatives in high school
in high school i know we're young but yeah um oh gosh when i was in high school last week did i
win any superlatives um you know they got rid of a lot of superlatives when i was there that i feel like i might have been up for because a lot of them like yeah oh no go ahead no go ahead i got most improved
oh yeah that was sick i'm no context for what for what it was in i was trying to figure out
what i was bad at before what i got better at when it comes to like high school it's such a broad
yeah category it's like okay i guess that's nice that one's honestly like really devastating to
get that one i similarly i got the boy most likely wow and i don't know what it's for
yeah it was just an ellipsis boy most likely yeah the boy most likely i didn't know why
you know what i mean and then i was like what
should i be doing in the picture i'm looking for context clues and they were like we don't need a
picture it's like okay but it's a full page of the yearbook wow i got Farts. And of course, that's why she brings it up.
She's like, that's a question.
That's how you do it.
Did you get any superlatives?
I said I got Forever Young at Fart.
Forever Young at Fart.
Hayes stepped on it a little bit.
But I think I'm still getting most of what I would have gotten from it.
Yeah, you laughed.
You fucking died laughing.
You guys just edited that out.
And it's like, who got that?
Lily got that or Miss Computer got that?
That's what I can't figure out.
I know, this is the curse of being a really good comedian and actor.
Of like a mimic and
like uh yeah everyone thinks what i'm doing is fake but like i'm such a genuine person like i'm
honestly so real and i'm so like warm and normal and like yes i'm like incredibly successful
you guys saw the podcast hold up hold, hold up, hold up. Does your chair match your plant?
In that it's green?
Yeah, I guess it does.
Does your chair match your plant?
Wait, have you guys heard that with fiddle leaf,
you could make them extra green by putting mayonnaise on the leaves
and massaging them.
Oh, wow.
I'm actually trying to get my cat to not eat it.
Maybe. So, yeah, great idea. Now I'm actually trying to get my cat to not eat it. Maybe.
So, yeah, great idea.
Now I'm putting mayonnaise on it.
I'm just saying.
Freaking.
Some other food on there, too.
If you go back to SNL, bring out the fiddle leaf plant,
and then just take out a fiddle case and just grab the bow and start like
rubbing it on the plant like you think it's making music that's so funny that would kill that like
because well first i guess you need to like label it in case they don't know the name of the plant
right um you have to educate your audience before you make them laugh. Yeah.
Lauren might know.
She's up there eating.
And she did that with her whole chest.
She's eating.
Colin, she's eating right now.
So, what else do you guys want to talk about that was a hate gun podcast