Hollywood Handbook - Lisa Gilroy, Our Commercials Friend
Episode Date: December 13, 2022The Boys talk to LISA GILROY about the class action lawsuits from her commercials.Teaser for Chef Kevin’s video project - Where The Poddy AtWatch the video recording of this episode at Patr...eon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
this is a head gum podcast
first time we've gotten an audio complaint though pretty good right
almost two years it's definitely not the first time there's it's absolutely not
not the first all right here comes the theme song
lisa who is that lisa hang on give it to me who is that lisa let me play my game oh is that i know this
yes yes yes no it's um it's dr evil isn't it that's not that's incorrect lisa let me play my
game lisa who is this lisa let me play my game before you, who is this? Lisa, let me play my game.
Before you answer Lisa, there's a little rule on this show.
Wrong answers only.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
But do actually answer it. Who is this?
Wrong answers only.
But do actually answer it correctly.
Let me try that.
No, no.
I actually do get it right.
I actually do.
So joke answers permitted?
No.
No. Absolutely. Yes. Please just guess it. Feel free So, joke answers permitted? No. No.
Absolutely.
Yes, please just guess it.
Feel free to do a bit in the comments.
Okay.
You know?
No.
Sometimes we do that, but this time I actually do want you to seriously guess it right.
Say anything.
Say the craziest thing.
We can do that later.
Just this time, please guess it right.
So, I don't know now whether to do a
joke one or to do to try to guess it is there ever a bad time to do a joke like if it's a funny joke
he can't do it fine do a joke just do a joke one he can't do a joke one just do a very quick joke
one and then please just guess it for real because okay my art okay go ahead uh my joke one is rugrats and my serious one is friends okay yeah yeah it's
you could you could swap them too somehow i think they're both wrong i think the serious one being
rugrats is pretty pretty sick okay my serious one is rugrats and my napoleon dynamite it's a pov
experience napoleon dynamite is talking a pov experience napoleon dynamite
is talking to you he wants to play his game we are trying to do start off all the shows now
with a pov experience these are these are like a huge thing okay both for the guests and for the
listener pov experience napoleon dynamite is talking to Lisa. He wants to play his game. Okay. Yeah. But nobody, really nobody knew who that was?
I wasn't even trying to think of who it was.
I was trying to think of like only wrong answers.
Like something funny to say.
That's why I said Rugrats.
Because I was thinking of those, the kids on that show are so young and some of them
are wearing diapers.
I loved that.
Okay. Because that's where my head was going.
I didn't think it was that good. No, I know.
I mean, little kids do play games
but they don't talk like that. And exactly
and how Hayes was doing the voice. I mean, Chucky kind of talked like that.
He was doing the voice so deep that I was like
instantly my brain went to like, okay, well, what's
the opposite of a deep voice? Probably a lighter
kind of voice who has a lighter kind of voice.
Someone shorter. Oh my god.
Yes, you could have done like...
I guess I just wasn't that into the fake guess idea
when we were actually trying to do this.
Like a famous sort of squealy voice.
Okay, can I do a POV?
Please.
That would be huge for us.
POV experience.
That would be amazing.
We're trying to open all the shows with this
because people really enjoy it.
Okay.
Hayes has been doing full episodes where he takes his webcam and puts it on his lap pointing
up at the bottom of his chin and then kevin will just tag the episode like pov you're resting your
head in my lap while you listen to hollywood handbook oh or napoleon dynamite's lap or or
whoever and so i do think we dynamite when l does this, I do think we should guess it for real.
Okay.
I think it's important that we guess for real.
Okay, go ahead.
And I think we should really do wrong answers only.
Okay, well, just so you guys know,
for the sake of being the upbeat for the podcast,
I'll accept either of those.
So it could be joke or it could be serious.
And how about then, if you're wrong,
I'll say, oh, joke answer. This is exactly exactly what you said kevin you said she just rolls with it
so okay so you're just gonna be okay and that's helpful to a point you know okay ready pov you
are harry potter and i'm snape so joke answers or right answers. That was really good.
It was great.
Do you mind at all if I do Rugrats for my answer?
I know it was sort of your thing.
Yeah, but it could be a runner.
I feel like it fits.
And it could be something like throughout if we keep saying something like that.
You can say Rugrats.
Yeah.
I'll take that.
I'll accept that as a joke answer and a
wrong answer it's good i thought it was really good this is i guess i wonder if he could be
saying like any like something else that doesn't say like i'm snape in it like just for well he
shouldn't say i'm snape he shouldn't say i'm snape well if you want a real gas yeah what do you mean haze i don't
totally follow either well you just said it sean you just said the exact reason like it
like it gives it it completely gives it away when she said i was clarifying what i felt you were
saying i didn't really know why you were saying it or why how come you're saying it and so grumpy
and so grumpy what i'm trying to do is do is I'm not trying to be grumpy.
This is what I think is
It just comes naturally to you.
closer to
No, this is very intentional on my part.
This is you trying not to be grumpy?
Uh-oh.
I'm not trying to do anything
except accomplish what we need to do
for this episode.
Well, please do try to do something.
Try to do
We don't have to do the POV experience at all.
I don't care. Do you think I'm mad about this? I think we do have to do it. We don't have to do the POV experience at all. I don't care.
I think we do have to do it now.
Now we've introduced it.
I don't give a fuck if we keep doing this.
Okay?
It does not matter.
It means shit to me.
Lisa Gilroy. Hollywood Handbook
An Insider's Guide
To Kicking Butt and Dropping Names
In the Red Carpet Linebacker
Always in this industry
We call showbiz
Lisa
I really don't want to talk about that anymore
We are here to
Celebrate your success On the real different things that you've been
doing vulture first time ever i'm sorry i didn't get to do a pov i just feel like you both did one
it'll be really fast okay go oh and he's putting sunglasses on it's a visual component only but whatever you're terminated
you're terminated that's good pov you're terminated you're terminated
not by tommy pick i was gonna say sorry sean i said you're terminated by tommy pickles
because i thought i thought she was gonna do a wrong answer that was like she is
it was a legend in the house fucking fun man fun stuff fun kevin you want to do one real quick
sure okay taking my glasses off putting them putting them back on i'm the batman
i didn't get that one that one yeah i didn't like it i didn't like it because you didn't
say pov first you didn't see pov experience at all yeah pov glasses on why are you taking off
your pov i'm the batman that was good why are you taking your glasses
off and putting them on
Kevin
I know who he is too I know who he is
no that's wrong
he's actually Angelica with a chest
cold
okay
oh yeah we're counting for the voice
yeah for the voice
that at least is yeah i appreciate
yeah uh what do you want to talk about you had something you want to do vulture
and jfl new faces and we finally get them to agree and they're putting it aside
and they're saying look forget the other shit all shit. All the shit we've been through.
All the fussing and fighting.
All the fucking history.
Can we agree on at least this?
Can we agree on that Lisa is a fresh face for 2022?
22-year-old.
Finally, 22-year-olds.
Top 22-year-olds for 2022.
22 and 22.
And size 22. Wow. I don't even know if that's bigger measurements
22 22 22 that's how many different sizes you have each shoe 22 22 different sizes shoulders waist
and and bagel banging hips and titties please don't talk about any titties well i just thought we yeah if
people can't so just so you know and i don't you haven't maybe listened to the show in a little
while we talk about titties when the female guest leaves the zoo oh we don't do that but we don't do
that anymore part of this that can't be part of the episode with you uh
just because there's really no safe way for me to engage yeah i'm paralyzed by this conversation
okay so let's just say that 22 is your shoe size and you were listing 22 for one shoe, 22 for the other. And can I say waist and head?
Yeah, head.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's great.
We also want to discuss, you're in four different commercials.
More than that.
That are on TV right now.
You're in more than four different commercials that are on TV right this second.
They're airing right now. I turn on my TV and I see four different commercials with you in TV right now. You're in more than four different commercials that are on TV right this second. They're airing right now.
I turn on my TV and I see four different commercials with you in it right
now.
Okay.
So you think you watched all the TV and you know,
the,
the number I'm in exactly.
I saw TV.
Yeah.
I mean,
well,
hard to believe it is.
It is kind of,
I mean,
clearly has rug rats.
It is sort of my job to watch mean, he clearly hasn't watched Rugrats. It is sort of my job to watch TV and understand TV and come back here and share tips.
Okay, say the ones you think I'm in.
The paint commercial.
Paint.
Okay.
I'll say at the end if you're right or not.
The paint commercial.
Paint.
The museum commercial for the bank.
The museum of the bank.
The hair.
The one with the hair.
Your long hair.
Okay.
And the football housewives.
Football.
Whoa, that's actually
pretty good.
This fucker's good.
You're forgetting.
I saw two in a row one time.
No, there's two more more that are on right now
i think so okay what are they carvana and vmo yeah what's vmo is also a bank yeah
so this is actually really helpful to us well And we did get you to reveal the other commercials that you're in.
And I suppose you walked directly into the trap.
And I've been on his side this whole time.
No.
What about the Rugrats stuff we were laughing about?
The whole thing about the POV experience.
Oh, Sean.
That was spycraft.
It was tradecraft, Lisa.
I needed you to believe. So when you came to my house the only way
it works for that big hug that was a joke that was spycraft it was not a joke it was that was
the opposite of a joke i had to believe that we were doing a big hug in order to go through with
it you came to my house and you gave me a big hug and he said looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and that was all just a prank that's a quote and hayes wrote that line for me looking forward to
seeing you tomorrow he said hey you want to know what's really gonna get the hook in tell her you're
looking forward to seeing her tomorrow i said hey you don't think it's too far it won't tip the game
he said she can't get enough of that stuff.
It's true.
I fell for it hook, line, and stinker.
And you did exactly.
You followed your role to perfection as you did in all,
as you have in all of your other roles.
I clicked the Zoom link.
I came on with a good attitude.
I tried my best to be funny and cool.
You think that we didn't know that when we scheduled this for Monday, your computer was not going to be working and that we were going to have to do it four days later.
You think that was an accident?
So then everything.
So then Sean's big hug was a joke.
And then the email I got from Hayes.
Not a joke.
It was saying tradecraft because he's you emailed me after I canceled on Monday and said, you're a bad pig.
You'll never work in this city, Hollywood.
That was not part of it.
It's good spy, bad spy, you know?
No, but that is a technique, good spy, bad spy.
But when I sent that, I was...
Being serious spy.
I was just like really...
It was about other stuff.
I was really upset about like a bunch of other
things i just got really mad it was really it was brain droppings wasn't it hayes
just blowing off steam that was brain droppings that was great that was there was some of george
carlin's brain and so that i apologize for and that almost risked blowing up the entire
like scheme that we i'm mad learning about it because it feels like we didn't discuss that
and it does seem like it went against what we were but it's gone perfectly be stern but not
not outwardly aggressive not so mad not so like insanely mad which i want because i we we wanted
you to still appear on the show um right uh we needed you to honestly for it to work but instead
it actually worked and we learned about Carvana BMO.
And so we are going to be adding that to the class action suit.
What?
For what?
For all of the advertisements that you have done,
we are participating in a class action suit,
but we also want to talk to you today about the possibility of us being able to represent
you and in your defense we are the named plaintiffs but we are also uh they're willing to be your
counsel thirsty so i already have a commercial i have a commercial agent already and you won't
believe it and this is actually true but her name is laura suhu so this is not what this is not a commercial this is really helpful for us to explain and
we should go back we've we've explained a lot of different things on this show commercials for
example just as a reminder are the tv shows babies the tv is the baby. The commercial agent does not go to court when you are class action suit for your behavior in some of these commercials.
But my commercial agent.
Laura Sue Who is not going to care that we Laura sued you.
Okay?
Yes. She actually will be running from you when she sees the documentation we have of the damage.
Yeah.
Your commercials have done.
You need Laura Sue how?
Mm-hmm.
But you guys are forgetting a foul mistake you made in your plan because Laura's husband is the chief of police and her daughter is the justice of the Supreme Court.
Laura Sue whose daughter is the justice of the supreme court laura suhu's daughter is the justice of the supreme court of the supreme court i knew about the chief of police
her husband is the chief of the police and her brother is a funeral director and her sister okay
that is seems like it could go really badly for us. Her sister works for the CIA and her other sister is a prison guard.
If her brother directs me to have a funeral,
then I could be in real trouble.
If I just get a funeral added to my Google calendar
without my knowledge,
and then that day I have to go to my funeral,
that's going to
really make it difficult to win this case because he can't he won't know it unless he knows who you
are but once he gets your first and your last name he can add anything to your calendar so
that's what i'm saying if you guys want to get close to me and close to my team and sue me and
my team and my representatives and my management my family you're gonna walk straight into the
undertaker's lair and you're gonna meet laura suhu management and my family, you're going to walk straight into the Undertaker's lair and you're going to meet
Laura Suhu's entire fucking family
and you're going to regret every single step of the
good spy, bad spy act
and the whole elaborate web that you had
laid for like a sticky
spider trap for me to walk into and you're going to regret
the day that you did it.
It's simply too late.
There's no backing out now.
Kevin has complete control over the waiting room of the zoom he has the waiting room on absolute lockdown laura suhu can can sit there she like
in the waiting room for as long as we need you are being served kevin let's pull up the evidence you're being served the evidence
oh good you're my servant
yeah right
no we're your server
and we're serving your
walking papers
I always wanted two little butlers
to serve me anything that I want at any time
in your own world
I'm actually happy
yeah me too
and by the way her daughter's the judge in your own world. No, I'm actually happy. I'm really happy. We actually are. Yeah, me too.
And by the way,
and her daughter's the judge,
but we're the jury and executioner.
They're going to kill you.
Oh, you guys are in two little tuxedos.
You guys look really cute in your little butler outfits.
Thanks.
My little boys.
Thanks, I know we do.
I know I look cute.
I'm young.
Hollywood handbook.
This week on the Patreon,
Carl and Hassan discuss a Hollywood party.
The boys discuss a huge missed business opportunity
on the pro version.
And the Flaga ones are mostly talking
all things basketball.
Plus, a little teaser for my big video project
just dropped,
and I actually just put a link for that
in this very description.
You can enjoy that there.
Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Lisa at patreon.com slash theflakerwands. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed
language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or
waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me
and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something
that you really use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can
babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of
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Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations,
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What does it mean
when you drop someone off after a nice date
and they turn around at the door
and they take their little index finger
and they kind of draw it towards them?
They're pulling it.
What does that mean? does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider
down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something
like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger
because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something
or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like
almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising
they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively
like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it at
the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure.
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i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients
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starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they
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Hollywood handbook.
Exhibit A.
Oh, God.
Ever wonder what everyone's doing on their phones?
And we're at the museum, and look who it is.
Looks a little bit like Lisa Gilroy wearing glasses like a museum guard trying to do a disguise.
We know exactly who it is.
Saw right through it.
We knew it was you.
Ever wonder what anyone's doing on their phones?
Keep playing.
Easy.
And you know it's a museum because there's two dinosaur bones
texting for backup no she's totally in charge of her portfolio and daniel g she she caught a
footage that's been her from daniel g he's running a pretend restaurant and phil we see a caveman at
the museum but this is the long version digital tools so impressive your money
never stops working for you with merrill okay so basically what what happens when you lie
in the commercial that this is what people are doing on their phones
is you're doing crime. You're doing crime.
Because I'm not doing that on my phone.
I'm not investing with that.
No.
What am I doing on my phone?
Reading reviews of different sunflower seed brands.
Which you didn't mention once.
I just spit it out.
I think because, to be honest, honest you guys and I'm embarrassed too
because I actually hadn't seen that before
is that I didn't know
that
it was going to be like that
what did you think it was
going to be like yeah because it's your voice
it's not actually my voice
though
I didn't think it sounded that much like it
it did sound different didn't because Laura Sue's other brother is a voice actor, and he does all the voices for the commercial.
That was her other brother?
At her agency, we just do the bodies.
So when I get into a commercial, it's just my body, and then someone else chooses my clothes, and someone else chooses my voice, and someone else chooses my clothes and someone else chooses my voice and someone else chooses my hair. And I know I said I wasn't going to say it again,
but titties are also like sometimes not even real
or not there or CGI or like deep fake or...
So part of that...
So it's your body and you're like turning around
and like facing different things.
Some of your body.
Sometimes it's other parts of other people's body.
Okay.
Well, let's talk about that.
The body issue espn you are turning away from the different
bones yeah and turning toward like turning to you're looking at daniel g and like all these
other people what happens you're you are guarding this museum so What happened? So what the fucking hell? Who cares?
So you don't even know what happened.
That there was a famous robbery at the museum.
And they stole.
Of stealing.
Almost every bone at the museum.
What are you talking about?
That didn't happen.
You don't even know.
Because you were looking at Daniel G. You don't know. That didn't happen in the museum. What are you talking about? That didn't happen in the commercial. You don't even know because you were looking at Daniel G.
You don't know.
That didn't happen in the commercial.
The bones were still there by the end of the commercial.
You can see in the last frame of the commercial, the bones are still there.
You're so focused on the bones, you forgot about the bones.
You thought that was the same bones?
What are you guys trying to say?
They barely look like bones.
That's such a famous robbery.
They replaced the bones
of fake bones.
So you guys are kind of
making it obvious
that it was you now
because how they say
the bad guys return
to the scene of the crime.
You can't even rest
because you know
that no one knows
that it was you
and you want to brag about it.
So that's what you're doing now.
Look, whoever did it
was a genius criminal.
There's no question there.
Okay.
I worry to be the perpetrators
kind of mind that could come up with a heist so devilish it's where would i was never there
madam my contention that your most devious act was not serving as a worthy opponent what
the criminal's greatest goal achievement is not
the theft of the item itself
the replacement of the bones is something else
the mouse and the replacement
and it is the replacement of the bones
can I ask you guys what you replaced
the bones with
because I'm not it's too late for me to do anything
now we shot that commercial like a year ago I don't even
know where that museum is I can't go back there
I won't tell them just tell me what you put in instead of the bones bobo tea bubble
bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubbles teas precisely madame full ones bubble tea
so what i'm saying is at the end of the commercial,
you can see the bones are still there.
There was no bubble tea in the commercial at all by the end.
So that's how you know the bones are still there.
Or was there.
Watch it again.
We're not going to go back.
We're not going to go back.
But if you do watch it again.
But watch it again when you have after the show.
If you still have the freedom access to your computer,
if you have not been arrested by the end of this.
And if you're not dead in a coffin, Sean, from the funeral direction.
Yes.
Well, I hope that I'm not.
Oh, no.
How are we really going to watch all of these?
Exhibit B.
If you don't repaint every now and then,
it's like the old you is still hanging around.
I'm listening to music.
And it's Lisa.
It's actually two of Lisa.
Two Lisa.
Using fake technology.
Now what's you?
Because the glasses again.
So now the museum guard is at home.
By the way, the museum is being insanely robbed
while you're doing this.
I just want to say you guys are so stupid
because this is a podcast and so people can't
even see what the hell you're kind of
hacking. I'm telling them what's happening
right now. Yeah, but how are they even to believe
after you guys have
lied and done all sorts of jokes and pranks for
years on the podcast, they just think they're listening
to some sort of shazam.
Lots of jokes, lots of funny comments.
We haven't pranked anyone.
So it's the museum guard sitting on the couch oh my god meanwhile the museum is the most robbed it's ever been while she's at home for some reason yeah and um i'm wearing the same glasses
so that's how you know they're actually my glasses and i got paid 50 to wear my own glasses
that's true now that true. Talk about robbery.
That's a heist. People are just trying
to get their message out.
Getting absolutely soaked by
the talent.
And then her friend is there
who looks like her. I guess the joke is
chiseling away. I guess the joke is
my friend looks like me or something.
No. That's
the younger version of me. She painted the walls it's that that's a younger version of me and
she painted the walls of color that i don't like anymore looks that looks like the same age
everything no because the other one has longer hair that's how you know she's younger and she's
wearing headphones which is something that a teenager does sorry i want to address something
you just said what you think this commercial is about changing the color of the wall of the wall
because it's a bare paint commercial, yeah.
A fresh coat of paint does not necessarily mean that you change the color.
Yeah.
Well, you'll see what happens in this commercial.
If you keep your eye out, like the same way you can see that the bones got turned into boba tea,
in this one you can see the walls actually change color.
Is this the same friend?
And there's another person here.
Is this the same friend as the one who came in?
Doesn't have headphones anymore.
Right?
She still has long hair, though, and she's talking on a phone.
So is it?
Just say if it is or not.
It's the same.
It's the younger version of the first woman you saw.
Kevin, don't pause it here.
This is a wikiet lawsuit waiting to happen.
She's going to countersue you, freak.
We're exposed now, Kevin.
Pause it on the fake glasses.
I'll blur it.
Okay, keep going.
That's why I only date musicians.
What are you guys eating?
Lasagna.
Is that the same friend?
This one's a totally
different person. Okay.
Thank you. I thought so. Yes. Finally.
Is that what you guys want to hear? Yes.
And so can we
go back to the beginning of this scene?
Long rings. What is this?
What's that for?
Just go back to the beginning of this part.
Look at that long ass ring
long ring what are you saying fucking finger what are you talking about look at your finger in that
is that your did you get paid like ten thousand dollars to wear that ring that's my real ring
and they had to pay me another 50 bucks because fucking shit was so long. Could you bend my knuckle? Laura Suhu, my commercial agent,
her baby cousin makes rings at a jewelry store.
Oh, God.
And so it's like product placement for that.
Jesus.
This woman.
She's got the whole family.
Okay, Kevin's hovering the cursor over my crotch.
Kevin, do not.
Kevin, your ankle.
It's on the Kevin.
It's on the socks. He's trying to blur out the socks. I'm. It's on the socks.
He's trying to blur out the socks.
I'm trying to blur out the socks.
I learned my lesson.
The socks are fine.
Don't point the arrow.
Okay, so feet are not K, but socks are...
WikiSox is not litigious in the same way.
Go...
Just play it.
Yes.
What are you guys eating?
Lasagna.
I love lasagna. what are you guys eating lasagna i love lasagna that's you guys why are you at what's wrong with you the pov uh aspect of the commercial i enjoyed
why are you being like that i'm not again you guys you two are supposed to be friends no I'm not in this one
sit with them
that's not you either
this one is different voice and different body
except for my own titties
they let me
put those on somebody else's
Lisa
but it has to stop
it looks exactly like you.
It's not me.
You promise?
I swear to God.
If you promise right now,
swear on your long ring,
your most prized possession.
I swear, you guys,
because it's like body double.
You heard of that?
Yeah.
Okay, so it's that.
Hayes has heard of it.
I heard of that once.
Because if you think about it,
talk about what it was when you heard about it.
When I heard about
body double, at least
at the time, I heard about it when i heard about body double at least at the time at least at the time i heard
about it yes body double was when you have you're doing a trapeze movie yeah yeah and you have
the main guy standing on the edge of the trapeze platform and he puts his arms out
then you stop the entire camera
take that camera away
bring in a new one
out
take
the trapeze
the main guy
the guy we saw before replace him with like a special animal him
away yeah yes no you're missing a step sorry can i say because you're supposed to the guy the first
guy who's in there supposed to take off the costume and leave it yes sorry yes yes yes i'm
sorry he takes off the costume he becomes nude He leaves it sitting exactly where it was.
Once he's completely clear of the set,
like completely off-premises.
They don't just put the clothes on the ground either
because they don't want him to get wrinkled.
So usually he'll have like a statue next to him
that he dresses in the clothing.
That's not true. i can tell you guys
haven't been on set because usually the first guy and the second guy they'll have to have been on
set to have heard about this yeah it's not hearing about it actually it's seeing it it's seeing you
don't have to see it like i heard about it i don't have to watch this the part of the set i was
watching i couldn't see it but i don't have to i could just hear about it later they hold arms like
this like a circus hold,
like this, both hands.
And then somebody peels the shirt off one guy's back
and directly onto the other guy.
So if you'll notice,
that's how you know someone's a body double
because the shirt they're wearing is inside out
because it went straight from the one guy
onto the other guy.
Okay.
Well, at the time I heard about it,
they just leave it sitting on the ground.
They bring in the special animal.
Oh, things have changed since 1942.
I'm just saying when I heard
about it, it's not here about it in
1942. When I heard about it, it's a statue. I was actually
a little busy in 1942.
I don't know what you were doing,
but I was actually
taking care of business overseas.
Around 1942,
if I recall, I was
kicking the shit out of Klaus.
No, Sean, i was doing like i was doing like haze is so old he dot dot dot like i was doing like in oh what was that in 1942 you learned
about that this fucker yeah you old fuck yeah you know her body double they put it on the floor
what is it 1942 i said well so earlier she said I'm like a baby
and I look good in my clothes.
I never said I never said you're a baby
and you look good in your clothes.
Yes, you did.
Why would I say you're a baby
and you look good in your clothes?
Because you said I was like your butler or something,
which I would...
A butler?
Hey, newsflash, butler can be ugly.
No, but you didn't say that.
Yeah, of course they can course they can be whatever they
want when i said oh i have my two little butlers i meant one cute one one ugly one yes it's 2022
butlers can be freaking hideous butlers can be i know that it's now yes we we get this little bit about of promoting this disgusting
product on my
show we've talked a little bit about body
positivity on this show
wait
pause it
pause it on me
so it is you hold on I'll be right back
where did she go?
I don't know, but this is a good time.
She's going to get the remote.
She's still visible.
This is going for us.
She's been fucking running circles around us.
It's like she knew.
Everything we throw at her, she has an answer for.
I don't know what I'm saying.
There's the shirt.
See?
Wow.
Okay.
Oh, my God. She must have charged a fortune for it direct tv is underwater on this
do you guys want me to put it on premium channels anymore different husband i'm noticing
from the museum garden was husbands with last time yeah and from the friends okay so she's putting on
she's putting on the shirt over her headphones and and hoodie going over the headphone wire
and and it's actually it's similar to oj simpson trial
it says that see so you can tell it wasn't me it wasn't you yes yeah i mean this our class action
suit is in shambles because if the top doesn't fit it didn't even get over your head we must
quit wow so this we must to quit so oh my god i'm wondering if we're so what is the fourth commercial now
is any of this you does is it your thumb switching between the two channels football house you've
been cashing the checks i think this one's my thumb it's not cashing your checks this one's
my crotch and my mouth oh my god well i i don't okay sorry that's gross to you guys but that's how it
works because like it takes a lot it takes a village to make a commercial and so you need
body a village of different body parts yes because why do you think like in a commercial you want the
consumer to look better than ever before but no one really looks that good so they make a mix of
different i have the best crotch and the second best mouth.
And so in Hollywood.
And so they put my stuff there and then they put somebody else's really good hair.
See, I have bangs.
That girl doesn't have bangs.
That's somebody else's hair.
Stuff like that.
Who directed this thing?
Dr. Victor Frankenstein?
No.
Well, who did direct it?
Because I've been actually trying to get into this world a little more and
i would love to just like unable to make any meaningful contacts yeah take him out for coffee
pick their brain okay just yeah that's dr frankenstein by trying to pick your brain
okay i'll tell you no kidding i'll tell you who directed this commercial but do you want
joke answer or serious answers only or Or can I do one of both?
And then you can guess which one's the joke and which one's real.
I don't want to pick.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here, I'll give you one joke and one serious you guys can guess.
Yeah, let's.
Serious answer is Jakes' Manski and joke answer is Chandler from Friends.
Okay.
Okay.
And so Friends was the serious answer last time it came up.
And now I'm just trying to track.
Now one of the guys from Friends has become a joke answer.
Yeah.
Because I guess he struggled with addiction or something.
Yeah.
I guess that's funny.
So Sean, what's your guess?
Oh, I'm doing a guess as well.
Yeah.
I shouldn't say Chandler from Friends.
I just saw him getting raked over the coals for that one.
I think it is seriously, Jake.
I'm just seeing pieces of this, like of the staging where I'm like, this is the part of
the same universe where Mike and Dave are needing wedding.
It's Mike and Dave Tablo.
It's not happening. This is a classic Mike and Dave Tablo.
Yes.
These two people may need wedding dates.
Yeah.
It's that close.
That's the right answer.
But I wasn't listening to you guys talking
because I was thinking the whole time,
I think I don't know how to pronounce his last name.
How do you know it's the right answer then?
You did do it incorrectly.
Yeah, what is it?
Simansky?
How do you say it? It's Sp? You did do it incorrectly. Yeah, what is it? Simansky? How do you say it?
It's Spymansky.
It's not Ciz.
Don't call me Ciz.
His true name.
He is a Ciz.
His true name is Spymansky.
Simansky.
And he has played this role in our little game to a T, perfection.
Luring you into the trap.
As you admit that it is your mouth that summons the housewives to the football game.
Injuring Dak Prescott, also a party to our class action suit.
Mr. Jake was the pawn in our game. And now the move has
checkmate
of the
queen, you.
Keep playing this.
The rook.
And on demand, together.
Football, housewives.
Football, housewives.
So this is on you.
Keep going. I just wonder, I need you to watch
every second of this.
Everything that's happening.
The housewives being on the field is on you.
You did that.
You did that.
They tackle.
He fell into a table.
Housewife caught the football.
Who flips a table?
This is entirely on you.
As you admit, it was your mouth.
Who flips a table?
Yeah, but it wasn't my finger on the remote.
So how is that?
It's a combination of...
It doesn't work if it's just...
Well, how the fuck is that going to hold up in court?
It doesn't work if it's just the finger.
You have to be saying it as well.
Everyone knows this.
If you're switching between two channels on DirecTV...
So then I'm only 50%...
Can you hang on?
Hey, excuse me.
My friend just asked you to hang on a second.
Sorry.
Is he going to go put on a shirt that he wore in commercial?
I don't think so.
I think we saw how well that worked out.
And now he's back.
Now he's going to put his headphones back on they're in there oh they're
already in i'm mobile yeah my uh so um my wife is assembling a shelving unit in the yard and uh
you know for storage and um she wanted my help but i just told her, we're about to put the final nail
in Lisa Killjoy's coffin over here.
And we will be suing her as well.
I said, I need literally just one second.
We will be suing Sean's wife right after this.
To finish murdering her.
Oh, God.
I've got receipts.
So what the fuck is this one one this is the most fucked up
one of all exhibit this shit for donkin fake what's that where is this mountain
where is that mountain calabasas calabasas yeah yeah right
rapunzel rapun, let down your hair.
Zach!
Not your name.
Different guy.
She just gave it to Zach.
Right.
That's great.
You're great.
Making big coffee.
Here's the fucking thing.
No, let's talk about this.
The coffee's way too big.
What?
That's sick.
The coffee looks fucked.
The coffee's twice the size of the man hey go back wait a
minute don't play the part where i put the spoon in my mouth again kevin don't because i'll know
what you're up to i'll blur it play it again but blur that part blur this we cannot have wiki make
it even more after yeah don't put a green screen over the the spoon was. You're on green. Pause it here.
You're going to drink the coffee like that?
Yeah.
Coffee's bigger than the guy.
It's way too big.
The way you're holding it, it's going to get everywhere.
Okay, just want to say, I don't know how they did things in 1942, Hayes, but your jealousy is showing.
I'll tell you how we did things.
We went overseas
And we
TCB
You put on your
Fucking uniform
You loaded up your weapon
You got off the boat
And you knocked the sauerkraut
Out of those fucks
That's what we did in 1942 That's a that's a little taste of how we did
things but sean so i'm doing a joke again on haze and i'm saying like yes yes so you're not like
from 1942 but when you join in it makes it more like too fun then it's not a roast on haze it's
like you being like yeah us two were military boys and then i start feeling left out and that wasn't how it was supposed to be we're teamed up on you give it to me again
give it to me again okay i don't remember how they did things in commercials in 1942
haze probably does the old fuck yeah so something like that yeah okay yeah haze uh tell me again
about when the planet was invented yeah haze, do you seem to recall Brontosaurus?
Or maybe you're sad to think about him because you watched him die from the meteors.
How does he taste the Brontosaurus when he is your dinner?
Hayes, what's you do your big Flintstones car?
Okay, so you were.
So your entire claim is that you weren't even at the museum.
And yet, all of a sudden, you've become quite an expert about Brontosaurus.
On Brontosaurus.
And once again, Sean is pretending to be, to not like me.
And he actually does.
And yes, we appeared to be in lockstep, you and I i when actually i was uh being good spy for me the
whole time hey hey hayes can i ask you did you maybe get a hug before we started recording
from sean and said he said looking forward to recording with you today buddy
i i guess it was i mean i wouldn't describe it it as different from any other hug that we've done.
But yeah, it's not something that stood out to me necessarily.
It was a little bigger.
I wrote that.
I wrote that, Hayes.
That was the plan.
And you played right into our fishy scheme.
You stupid one.
You idiot.
So what?
Lisa came to me um yeah she sniffed out the entire plan pretty quickly to do this whole class action because i was like why would you drive to my house to hug me the night
before a podcast no podcast host has ever done that before right i knew immediately something
was weird no she had me uh she had me nailed pretty fast and um so she sort of devised this scheme
to turn the tables on you i didn't really have much of a choice and so what and what so what
happens to me then i don't understand we call you old we say you're old and you know what hayes
you've now illegally torrented four separate commercials that belong to the Republic of the United States of America. You have no
right to
broadcast any of
this and remain silent
and anything you
do, say, commercial
will actually be
in the law.
In forever
and amen
the superior justice.
Of.
The peace.
Okay.
So.
Dark matter, yes.
I have to go to jail or something?
Like, who fucking cares?
I don't give a shit.
Who gives a shit, yeah.
Well, your trial will be first, Hayes, and it's going to be a physical one.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Okay, good.
I'm going to try to have to move a big tire across the
lawn or like whatever like i don't like i don't know why you think i would actually care about
this no i don't the tire is huge this is like a joke to me like i'll do like okay if that's like
if you think that's cool or like crazy or whatever but like i don't think it's cool hayes i actually
think it's yeah you do no you actually think it's care. I don't think it's cool, Hayes. I actually think it's really sad. Yeah, you do.
I actually think it's really sad.
Okay, you clearly think it's cool, but whatever.
We're crying about it.
Okay, great.
Whatever it is you want to do, I'll do it,
but I do not give a shit.
Stepping out of the Twisted game for just a moment,
your hair is down.
In the commercial? Yeah, it starts down yeah it's
down i'm he says let down your hair it's down you say just a second but it's already down it's
no it has to be down further for him to grab it then you pull it back up yeah watch he's jumping
for it i have watched it's gaslighting me this shit's fucking down dude cool
i think we should see other people so we can talk about this face to face no no no no no
and then you pull it up but it was down and then he has to go actually then he has why didn't he
just climb it that's more on him don't call him a moron haze you don't even just climb it? It's more on him. Don't call him a moron, Hayes.
You don't even know him.
You said it's more on him.
You said it's more on him.
Yeah, well, that's...
I mean, it's objectively more on him.
Don't say moron.
You don't even know him.
He's an actor.
His name's David Duke.
He's a really talented guy.
Actually...
David Duke?
Dave-a-duke, with a T at the end.
Is he related to Dan?
Never mind.
Yes.
It's his brother.
His brother.
They're brothers too?
Yeah.
Everybody is brothers or friends or has parents and all this stuff.
This whole thing.
It's just what you hear about Hollywood.
It's so incestuous.
It's so nepotil as it.
Heard she's
married to the chief of police and he's their brothers and they're putting the commercials
it's all it's it's all who you know isn't it yeah yeah no it's it's nepotilia it's nepotilia
do you know dan also not really just through yeah right i don't really know him i've just
seen him on instagram i've never met him and yet you got in this commercial and you don't know dan
more more nipple babies right right more nipple babies getting the big breaks
well contrary to popular belief phase um actually women i wasn't
even talking okay women don't have to have sex with two brothers to get on a commercial
and i never said that you did that but you were thinking it you disgusting actually actually
didn't even cross my mind and i know if that that were presented to them they'd be like what are you
doing you're being crazy you think if i tried to have sex with both of them at them they'd be like what are you doing you're being crazy
you think if I tried to have sex with both of them at once
they'd say what are you doing
you're being insane right now
you're acting weird
maybe they'd be like
just be in the commercial
if that's what you want
normal in the commercial
please just be normal in the normal but don't act strange right what's your next it's not stranger things what's your
next commercial yeah i don't have one little sneak preview doesn't have one well it's not out yet
it's not out yet but it's i mean I haven't even shot it yet but I did just
book my next commercial
if you don't have another one
then actually we've done our job
on this podcast
I have another one
it's for I can't say the brand name
but I'll do the commercial for you POV
you're watching me in my next commercial
mom what the hell's
going on with this the countertop oh
dear the sponge is in the cupboard well that's not my that's it oh look at that shine on that one
this sponge and bring it out it's sheen on it and it's and the way it cleans from this kind
of water gleam doesn't leave streaks you're're clumps in this thing. I don't know.
Well, this one... She's trying to
get paid. She's trying to promote
the sponge on this show. I'm not going to
even let her say the name of the...
Bye!
Goodbye!
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.