Hollywood Handbook - Lisa Gilroy, Our Commercials Friend

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

The Boys talk to LISA GILROY about the class action lawsuits from her commercials.Teaser for Chef Kevin’s video project - Where The Poddy AtWatch the video recording of this episode at Patr...eon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 this is a head gum podcast first time we've gotten an audio complaint though pretty good right almost two years it's definitely not the first time there's it's absolutely not not the first all right here comes the theme song lisa who is that lisa hang on give it to me who is that lisa let me play my game oh is that i know this yes yes yes no it's um it's dr evil isn't it that's not that's incorrect lisa let me play my game lisa who is this lisa let me play my game before you, who is this? Lisa, let me play my game. Before you answer Lisa, there's a little rule on this show.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Wrong answers only. Oh, I like that. I like that. But do actually answer it. Who is this? Wrong answers only. But do actually answer it correctly. Let me try that. No, no.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I actually do get it right. I actually do. So joke answers permitted? No. No. Absolutely. Yes. Please just guess it. Feel free So, joke answers permitted? No. No. Absolutely. Yes, please just guess it. Feel free to do a bit in the comments.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Okay. You know? No. Sometimes we do that, but this time I actually do want you to seriously guess it right. Say anything. Say the craziest thing. We can do that later. Just this time, please guess it right.
Starting point is 00:01:24 So, I don't know now whether to do a joke one or to do to try to guess it is there ever a bad time to do a joke like if it's a funny joke he can't do it fine do a joke just do a joke one he can't do a joke one just do a very quick joke one and then please just guess it for real because okay my art okay go ahead uh my joke one is rugrats and my serious one is friends okay yeah yeah it's you could you could swap them too somehow i think they're both wrong i think the serious one being rugrats is pretty pretty sick okay my serious one is rugrats and my napoleon dynamite it's a pov experience napoleon dynamite is talking a pov experience napoleon dynamite is talking to you he wants to play his game we are trying to do start off all the shows now
Starting point is 00:02:12 with a pov experience these are these are like a huge thing okay both for the guests and for the listener pov experience napoleon dynamite is talking to Lisa. He wants to play his game. Okay. Yeah. But nobody, really nobody knew who that was? I wasn't even trying to think of who it was. I was trying to think of like only wrong answers. Like something funny to say. That's why I said Rugrats. Because I was thinking of those, the kids on that show are so young and some of them are wearing diapers.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I loved that. Okay. Because that's where my head was going. I didn't think it was that good. No, I know. I mean, little kids do play games but they don't talk like that. And exactly and how Hayes was doing the voice. I mean, Chucky kind of talked like that. He was doing the voice so deep that I was like instantly my brain went to like, okay, well, what's
Starting point is 00:02:58 the opposite of a deep voice? Probably a lighter kind of voice who has a lighter kind of voice. Someone shorter. Oh my god. Yes, you could have done like... I guess I just wasn't that into the fake guess idea when we were actually trying to do this. Like a famous sort of squealy voice. Okay, can I do a POV?
Starting point is 00:03:17 Please. That would be huge for us. POV experience. That would be amazing. We're trying to open all the shows with this because people really enjoy it. Okay. Hayes has been doing full episodes where he takes his webcam and puts it on his lap pointing
Starting point is 00:03:30 up at the bottom of his chin and then kevin will just tag the episode like pov you're resting your head in my lap while you listen to hollywood handbook oh or napoleon dynamite's lap or or whoever and so i do think we dynamite when l does this, I do think we should guess it for real. Okay. I think it's important that we guess for real. Okay, go ahead. And I think we should really do wrong answers only. Okay, well, just so you guys know,
Starting point is 00:03:55 for the sake of being the upbeat for the podcast, I'll accept either of those. So it could be joke or it could be serious. And how about then, if you're wrong, I'll say, oh, joke answer. This is exactly exactly what you said kevin you said she just rolls with it so okay so you're just gonna be okay and that's helpful to a point you know okay ready pov you are harry potter and i'm snape so joke answers or right answers. That was really good. It was great.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Do you mind at all if I do Rugrats for my answer? I know it was sort of your thing. Yeah, but it could be a runner. I feel like it fits. And it could be something like throughout if we keep saying something like that. You can say Rugrats. Yeah. I'll take that.
Starting point is 00:04:44 I'll accept that as a joke answer and a wrong answer it's good i thought it was really good this is i guess i wonder if he could be saying like any like something else that doesn't say like i'm snape in it like just for well he shouldn't say i'm snape he shouldn't say i'm snape well if you want a real gas yeah what do you mean haze i don't totally follow either well you just said it sean you just said the exact reason like it like it gives it it completely gives it away when she said i was clarifying what i felt you were saying i didn't really know why you were saying it or why how come you're saying it and so grumpy and so grumpy what i'm trying to do is do is I'm not trying to be grumpy.
Starting point is 00:05:25 This is what I think is It just comes naturally to you. closer to No, this is very intentional on my part. This is you trying not to be grumpy? Uh-oh. I'm not trying to do anything except accomplish what we need to do
Starting point is 00:05:38 for this episode. Well, please do try to do something. Try to do We don't have to do the POV experience at all. I don't care. Do you think I'm mad about this? I think we do have to do it. We don't have to do the POV experience at all. I don't care. I think we do have to do it now. Now we've introduced it. I don't give a fuck if we keep doing this.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Okay? It does not matter. It means shit to me. Lisa Gilroy. Hollywood Handbook An Insider's Guide To Kicking Butt and Dropping Names In the Red Carpet Linebacker Always in this industry
Starting point is 00:06:13 We call showbiz Lisa I really don't want to talk about that anymore We are here to Celebrate your success On the real different things that you've been doing vulture first time ever i'm sorry i didn't get to do a pov i just feel like you both did one it'll be really fast okay go oh and he's putting sunglasses on it's a visual component only but whatever you're terminated you're terminated that's good pov you're terminated you're terminated
Starting point is 00:06:55 not by tommy pick i was gonna say sorry sean i said you're terminated by tommy pickles because i thought i thought she was gonna do a wrong answer that was like she is it was a legend in the house fucking fun man fun stuff fun kevin you want to do one real quick sure okay taking my glasses off putting them putting them back on i'm the batman i didn't get that one that one yeah i didn't like it i didn't like it because you didn't say pov first you didn't see pov experience at all yeah pov glasses on why are you taking off your pov i'm the batman that was good why are you taking your glasses off and putting them on
Starting point is 00:07:47 Kevin I know who he is too I know who he is no that's wrong he's actually Angelica with a chest cold okay oh yeah we're counting for the voice yeah for the voice
Starting point is 00:08:04 that at least is yeah i appreciate yeah uh what do you want to talk about you had something you want to do vulture and jfl new faces and we finally get them to agree and they're putting it aside and they're saying look forget the other shit all shit. All the shit we've been through. All the fussing and fighting. All the fucking history. Can we agree on at least this? Can we agree on that Lisa is a fresh face for 2022?
Starting point is 00:08:37 22-year-old. Finally, 22-year-olds. Top 22-year-olds for 2022. 22 and 22. And size 22. Wow. I don't even know if that's bigger measurements 22 22 22 that's how many different sizes you have each shoe 22 22 different sizes shoulders waist and and bagel banging hips and titties please don't talk about any titties well i just thought we yeah if people can't so just so you know and i don't you haven't maybe listened to the show in a little
Starting point is 00:09:12 while we talk about titties when the female guest leaves the zoo oh we don't do that but we don't do that anymore part of this that can't be part of the episode with you uh just because there's really no safe way for me to engage yeah i'm paralyzed by this conversation okay so let's just say that 22 is your shoe size and you were listing 22 for one shoe, 22 for the other. And can I say waist and head? Yeah, head. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:51 That's great. We also want to discuss, you're in four different commercials. More than that. That are on TV right now. You're in more than four different commercials that are on TV right this second. They're airing right now. I turn on my TV and I see four different commercials with you in TV right now. You're in more than four different commercials that are on TV right this second. They're airing right now. I turn on my TV and I see four different commercials with you in it right now.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Okay. So you think you watched all the TV and you know, the, the number I'm in exactly. I saw TV. Yeah. I mean, well,
Starting point is 00:10:17 hard to believe it is. It is kind of, I mean, clearly has rug rats. It is sort of my job to watch mean, he clearly hasn't watched Rugrats. It is sort of my job to watch TV and understand TV and come back here and share tips. Okay, say the ones you think I'm in. The paint commercial. Paint.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Okay. I'll say at the end if you're right or not. The paint commercial. Paint. The museum commercial for the bank. The museum of the bank. The hair. The one with the hair.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Your long hair. Okay. And the football housewives. Football. Whoa, that's actually pretty good. This fucker's good. You're forgetting.
Starting point is 00:11:02 I saw two in a row one time. No, there's two more more that are on right now i think so okay what are they carvana and vmo yeah what's vmo is also a bank yeah so this is actually really helpful to us well And we did get you to reveal the other commercials that you're in. And I suppose you walked directly into the trap. And I've been on his side this whole time. No. What about the Rugrats stuff we were laughing about?
Starting point is 00:11:36 The whole thing about the POV experience. Oh, Sean. That was spycraft. It was tradecraft, Lisa. I needed you to believe. So when you came to my house the only way it works for that big hug that was a joke that was spycraft it was not a joke it was that was the opposite of a joke i had to believe that we were doing a big hug in order to go through with it you came to my house and you gave me a big hug and he said looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and that was all just a prank that's a quote and hayes wrote that line for me looking forward to
Starting point is 00:12:10 seeing you tomorrow he said hey you want to know what's really gonna get the hook in tell her you're looking forward to seeing her tomorrow i said hey you don't think it's too far it won't tip the game he said she can't get enough of that stuff. It's true. I fell for it hook, line, and stinker. And you did exactly. You followed your role to perfection as you did in all, as you have in all of your other roles.
Starting point is 00:12:36 I clicked the Zoom link. I came on with a good attitude. I tried my best to be funny and cool. You think that we didn't know that when we scheduled this for Monday, your computer was not going to be working and that we were going to have to do it four days later. You think that was an accident? So then everything. So then Sean's big hug was a joke. And then the email I got from Hayes.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Not a joke. It was saying tradecraft because he's you emailed me after I canceled on Monday and said, you're a bad pig. You'll never work in this city, Hollywood. That was not part of it. It's good spy, bad spy, you know? No, but that is a technique, good spy, bad spy. But when I sent that, I was... Being serious spy.
Starting point is 00:13:20 I was just like really... It was about other stuff. I was really upset about like a bunch of other things i just got really mad it was really it was brain droppings wasn't it hayes just blowing off steam that was brain droppings that was great that was there was some of george carlin's brain and so that i apologize for and that almost risked blowing up the entire like scheme that we i'm mad learning about it because it feels like we didn't discuss that and it does seem like it went against what we were but it's gone perfectly be stern but not
Starting point is 00:13:50 not outwardly aggressive not so mad not so like insanely mad which i want because i we we wanted you to still appear on the show um right uh we needed you to honestly for it to work but instead it actually worked and we learned about Carvana BMO. And so we are going to be adding that to the class action suit. What? For what? For all of the advertisements that you have done, we are participating in a class action suit,
Starting point is 00:14:20 but we also want to talk to you today about the possibility of us being able to represent you and in your defense we are the named plaintiffs but we are also uh they're willing to be your counsel thirsty so i already have a commercial i have a commercial agent already and you won't believe it and this is actually true but her name is laura suhu so this is not what this is not a commercial this is really helpful for us to explain and we should go back we've we've explained a lot of different things on this show commercials for example just as a reminder are the tv shows babies the tv is the baby. The commercial agent does not go to court when you are class action suit for your behavior in some of these commercials. But my commercial agent. Laura Sue Who is not going to care that we Laura sued you.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Okay? Yes. She actually will be running from you when she sees the documentation we have of the damage. Yeah. Your commercials have done. You need Laura Sue how? Mm-hmm. But you guys are forgetting a foul mistake you made in your plan because Laura's husband is the chief of police and her daughter is the justice of the Supreme Court. Laura Sue whose daughter is the justice of the supreme court laura suhu's daughter is the justice of the supreme court of the supreme court i knew about the chief of police
Starting point is 00:15:51 her husband is the chief of the police and her brother is a funeral director and her sister okay that is seems like it could go really badly for us. Her sister works for the CIA and her other sister is a prison guard. If her brother directs me to have a funeral, then I could be in real trouble. If I just get a funeral added to my Google calendar without my knowledge, and then that day I have to go to my funeral, that's going to
Starting point is 00:16:26 really make it difficult to win this case because he can't he won't know it unless he knows who you are but once he gets your first and your last name he can add anything to your calendar so that's what i'm saying if you guys want to get close to me and close to my team and sue me and my team and my representatives and my management my family you're gonna walk straight into the undertaker's lair and you're gonna meet laura suhu management and my family, you're going to walk straight into the Undertaker's lair and you're going to meet Laura Suhu's entire fucking family and you're going to regret every single step of the good spy, bad spy act
Starting point is 00:16:51 and the whole elaborate web that you had laid for like a sticky spider trap for me to walk into and you're going to regret the day that you did it. It's simply too late. There's no backing out now. Kevin has complete control over the waiting room of the zoom he has the waiting room on absolute lockdown laura suhu can can sit there she like in the waiting room for as long as we need you are being served kevin let's pull up the evidence you're being served the evidence
Starting point is 00:17:26 oh good you're my servant yeah right no we're your server and we're serving your walking papers I always wanted two little butlers to serve me anything that I want at any time in your own world
Starting point is 00:17:40 I'm actually happy yeah me too and by the way her daughter's the judge in your own world. No, I'm actually happy. I'm really happy. We actually are. Yeah, me too. And by the way, and her daughter's the judge, but we're the jury and executioner. They're going to kill you. Oh, you guys are in two little tuxedos.
Starting point is 00:17:57 You guys look really cute in your little butler outfits. Thanks. My little boys. Thanks, I know we do. I know I look cute. I'm young. Hollywood handbook. This week on the Patreon,
Starting point is 00:18:06 Carl and Hassan discuss a Hollywood party. The boys discuss a huge missed business opportunity on the pro version. And the Flaga ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Plus, a little teaser for my big video project just dropped, and I actually just put a link for that
Starting point is 00:18:22 in this very description. You can enjoy that there. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Lisa at patreon.com slash theflakerwands. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of
Starting point is 00:19:17 their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door
Starting point is 00:19:38 and they take their little index finger and they kind of draw it towards them? They're pulling it. What does that mean? does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like
Starting point is 00:20:18 almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it at the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there.
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Starting point is 00:22:14 to go in just two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long
Starting point is 00:23:05 how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong.
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Starting point is 00:25:00 intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%.
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Starting point is 00:26:40 Oh, God. Ever wonder what everyone's doing on their phones? And we're at the museum, and look who it is. Looks a little bit like Lisa Gilroy wearing glasses like a museum guard trying to do a disguise. We know exactly who it is. Saw right through it. We knew it was you. Ever wonder what anyone's doing on their phones?
Starting point is 00:27:00 Keep playing. Easy. And you know it's a museum because there's two dinosaur bones texting for backup no she's totally in charge of her portfolio and daniel g she she caught a footage that's been her from daniel g he's running a pretend restaurant and phil we see a caveman at the museum but this is the long version digital tools so impressive your money never stops working for you with merrill okay so basically what what happens when you lie in the commercial that this is what people are doing on their phones
Starting point is 00:27:39 is you're doing crime. You're doing crime. Because I'm not doing that on my phone. I'm not investing with that. No. What am I doing on my phone? Reading reviews of different sunflower seed brands. Which you didn't mention once. I just spit it out.
Starting point is 00:28:03 I think because, to be honest, honest you guys and I'm embarrassed too because I actually hadn't seen that before is that I didn't know that it was going to be like that what did you think it was going to be like yeah because it's your voice it's not actually my voice
Starting point is 00:28:21 though I didn't think it sounded that much like it it did sound different didn't because Laura Sue's other brother is a voice actor, and he does all the voices for the commercial. That was her other brother? At her agency, we just do the bodies. So when I get into a commercial, it's just my body, and then someone else chooses my clothes, and someone else chooses my voice, and someone else chooses my clothes and someone else chooses my voice and someone else chooses my hair. And I know I said I wasn't going to say it again, but titties are also like sometimes not even real or not there or CGI or like deep fake or...
Starting point is 00:28:52 So part of that... So it's your body and you're like turning around and like facing different things. Some of your body. Sometimes it's other parts of other people's body. Okay. Well, let's talk about that. The body issue espn you are turning away from the different
Starting point is 00:29:10 bones yeah and turning toward like turning to you're looking at daniel g and like all these other people what happens you're you are guarding this museum so What happened? So what the fucking hell? Who cares? So you don't even know what happened. That there was a famous robbery at the museum. And they stole. Of stealing. Almost every bone at the museum. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:29:42 That didn't happen. You don't even know. Because you were looking at Daniel G. You don't know. That didn't happen in the museum. What are you talking about? That didn't happen in the commercial. You don't even know because you were looking at Daniel G. You don't know. That didn't happen in the commercial. The bones were still there by the end of the commercial. You can see in the last frame of the commercial, the bones are still there. You're so focused on the bones, you forgot about the bones.
Starting point is 00:29:59 You thought that was the same bones? What are you guys trying to say? They barely look like bones. That's such a famous robbery. They replaced the bones of fake bones. So you guys are kind of making it obvious
Starting point is 00:30:11 that it was you now because how they say the bad guys return to the scene of the crime. You can't even rest because you know that no one knows that it was you
Starting point is 00:30:18 and you want to brag about it. So that's what you're doing now. Look, whoever did it was a genius criminal. There's no question there. Okay. I worry to be the perpetrators kind of mind that could come up with a heist so devilish it's where would i was never there
Starting point is 00:30:33 madam my contention that your most devious act was not serving as a worthy opponent what the criminal's greatest goal achievement is not the theft of the item itself the replacement of the bones is something else the mouse and the replacement and it is the replacement of the bones can I ask you guys what you replaced the bones with
Starting point is 00:30:56 because I'm not it's too late for me to do anything now we shot that commercial like a year ago I don't even know where that museum is I can't go back there I won't tell them just tell me what you put in instead of the bones bobo tea bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubbles teas precisely madame full ones bubble tea so what i'm saying is at the end of the commercial, you can see the bones are still there. There was no bubble tea in the commercial at all by the end.
Starting point is 00:31:32 So that's how you know the bones are still there. Or was there. Watch it again. We're not going to go back. We're not going to go back. But if you do watch it again. But watch it again when you have after the show. If you still have the freedom access to your computer,
Starting point is 00:31:46 if you have not been arrested by the end of this. And if you're not dead in a coffin, Sean, from the funeral direction. Yes. Well, I hope that I'm not. Oh, no. How are we really going to watch all of these? Exhibit B. If you don't repaint every now and then,
Starting point is 00:32:02 it's like the old you is still hanging around. I'm listening to music. And it's Lisa. It's actually two of Lisa. Two Lisa. Using fake technology. Now what's you? Because the glasses again.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So now the museum guard is at home. By the way, the museum is being insanely robbed while you're doing this. I just want to say you guys are so stupid because this is a podcast and so people can't even see what the hell you're kind of hacking. I'm telling them what's happening right now. Yeah, but how are they even to believe
Starting point is 00:32:32 after you guys have lied and done all sorts of jokes and pranks for years on the podcast, they just think they're listening to some sort of shazam. Lots of jokes, lots of funny comments. We haven't pranked anyone. So it's the museum guard sitting on the couch oh my god meanwhile the museum is the most robbed it's ever been while she's at home for some reason yeah and um i'm wearing the same glasses so that's how you know they're actually my glasses and i got paid 50 to wear my own glasses
Starting point is 00:33:01 that's true now that true. Talk about robbery. That's a heist. People are just trying to get their message out. Getting absolutely soaked by the talent. And then her friend is there who looks like her. I guess the joke is chiseling away. I guess the joke is
Starting point is 00:33:19 my friend looks like me or something. No. That's the younger version of me. She painted the walls it's that that's a younger version of me and she painted the walls of color that i don't like anymore looks that looks like the same age everything no because the other one has longer hair that's how you know she's younger and she's wearing headphones which is something that a teenager does sorry i want to address something you just said what you think this commercial is about changing the color of the wall of the wall because it's a bare paint commercial, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:45 A fresh coat of paint does not necessarily mean that you change the color. Yeah. Well, you'll see what happens in this commercial. If you keep your eye out, like the same way you can see that the bones got turned into boba tea, in this one you can see the walls actually change color. Is this the same friend? And there's another person here. Is this the same friend as the one who came in?
Starting point is 00:34:12 Doesn't have headphones anymore. Right? She still has long hair, though, and she's talking on a phone. So is it? Just say if it is or not. It's the same. It's the younger version of the first woman you saw. Kevin, don't pause it here.
Starting point is 00:34:24 This is a wikiet lawsuit waiting to happen. She's going to countersue you, freak. We're exposed now, Kevin. Pause it on the fake glasses. I'll blur it. Okay, keep going. That's why I only date musicians. What are you guys eating?
Starting point is 00:34:43 Lasagna. Is that the same friend? This one's a totally different person. Okay. Thank you. I thought so. Yes. Finally. Is that what you guys want to hear? Yes. And so can we go back to the beginning of this scene?
Starting point is 00:34:57 Long rings. What is this? What's that for? Just go back to the beginning of this part. Look at that long ass ring long ring what are you saying fucking finger what are you talking about look at your finger in that is that your did you get paid like ten thousand dollars to wear that ring that's my real ring and they had to pay me another 50 bucks because fucking shit was so long. Could you bend my knuckle? Laura Suhu, my commercial agent, her baby cousin makes rings at a jewelry store.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Oh, God. And so it's like product placement for that. Jesus. This woman. She's got the whole family. Okay, Kevin's hovering the cursor over my crotch. Kevin, do not. Kevin, your ankle.
Starting point is 00:35:42 It's on the Kevin. It's on the socks. He's trying to blur out the socks. I'm. It's on the socks. He's trying to blur out the socks. I'm trying to blur out the socks. I learned my lesson. The socks are fine. Don't point the arrow. Okay, so feet are not K, but socks are...
Starting point is 00:35:57 WikiSox is not litigious in the same way. Go... Just play it. Yes. What are you guys eating? Lasagna. I love lasagna. what are you guys eating lasagna i love lasagna that's you guys why are you at what's wrong with you the pov uh aspect of the commercial i enjoyed why are you being like that i'm not again you guys you two are supposed to be friends no I'm not in this one
Starting point is 00:36:26 sit with them that's not you either this one is different voice and different body except for my own titties they let me put those on somebody else's Lisa but it has to stop
Starting point is 00:36:42 it looks exactly like you. It's not me. You promise? I swear to God. If you promise right now, swear on your long ring, your most prized possession. I swear, you guys,
Starting point is 00:37:03 because it's like body double. You heard of that? Yeah. Okay, so it's that. Hayes has heard of it. I heard of that once. Because if you think about it, talk about what it was when you heard about it.
Starting point is 00:37:21 When I heard about body double, at least at the time, I heard about it when i heard about body double at least at the time at least at the time i heard about it yes body double was when you have you're doing a trapeze movie yeah yeah and you have the main guy standing on the edge of the trapeze platform and he puts his arms out then you stop the entire camera take that camera away bring in a new one
Starting point is 00:37:54 out take the trapeze the main guy the guy we saw before replace him with like a special animal him away yeah yes no you're missing a step sorry can i say because you're supposed to the guy the first guy who's in there supposed to take off the costume and leave it yes sorry yes yes yes i'm sorry he takes off the costume he becomes nude He leaves it sitting exactly where it was.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Once he's completely clear of the set, like completely off-premises. They don't just put the clothes on the ground either because they don't want him to get wrinkled. So usually he'll have like a statue next to him that he dresses in the clothing. That's not true. i can tell you guys haven't been on set because usually the first guy and the second guy they'll have to have been on
Starting point is 00:38:50 set to have heard about this yeah it's not hearing about it actually it's seeing it it's seeing you don't have to see it like i heard about it i don't have to watch this the part of the set i was watching i couldn't see it but i don't have to i could just hear about it later they hold arms like this like a circus hold, like this, both hands. And then somebody peels the shirt off one guy's back and directly onto the other guy. So if you'll notice,
Starting point is 00:39:11 that's how you know someone's a body double because the shirt they're wearing is inside out because it went straight from the one guy onto the other guy. Okay. Well, at the time I heard about it, they just leave it sitting on the ground. They bring in the special animal.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Oh, things have changed since 1942. I'm just saying when I heard about it, it's not here about it in 1942. When I heard about it, it's a statue. I was actually a little busy in 1942. I don't know what you were doing, but I was actually taking care of business overseas.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Around 1942, if I recall, I was kicking the shit out of Klaus. No, Sean, i was doing like i was doing like haze is so old he dot dot dot like i was doing like in oh what was that in 1942 you learned about that this fucker yeah you old fuck yeah you know her body double they put it on the floor what is it 1942 i said well so earlier she said I'm like a baby and I look good in my clothes. I never said I never said you're a baby
Starting point is 00:40:12 and you look good in your clothes. Yes, you did. Why would I say you're a baby and you look good in your clothes? Because you said I was like your butler or something, which I would... A butler? Hey, newsflash, butler can be ugly.
Starting point is 00:40:23 No, but you didn't say that. Yeah, of course they can course they can be whatever they want when i said oh i have my two little butlers i meant one cute one one ugly one yes it's 2022 butlers can be freaking hideous butlers can be i know that it's now yes we we get this little bit about of promoting this disgusting product on my show we've talked a little bit about body positivity on this show wait
Starting point is 00:40:56 pause it pause it on me so it is you hold on I'll be right back where did she go? I don't know, but this is a good time. She's going to get the remote. She's still visible. This is going for us.
Starting point is 00:41:11 She's been fucking running circles around us. It's like she knew. Everything we throw at her, she has an answer for. I don't know what I'm saying. There's the shirt. See? Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Oh, my God. She must have charged a fortune for it direct tv is underwater on this do you guys want me to put it on premium channels anymore different husband i'm noticing from the museum garden was husbands with last time yeah and from the friends okay so she's putting on she's putting on the shirt over her headphones and and hoodie going over the headphone wire and and it's actually it's similar to oj simpson trial it says that see so you can tell it wasn't me it wasn't you yes yeah i mean this our class action suit is in shambles because if the top doesn't fit it didn't even get over your head we must quit wow so this we must to quit so oh my god i'm wondering if we're so what is the fourth commercial now
Starting point is 00:42:26 is any of this you does is it your thumb switching between the two channels football house you've been cashing the checks i think this one's my thumb it's not cashing your checks this one's my crotch and my mouth oh my god well i i don't okay sorry that's gross to you guys but that's how it works because like it takes a lot it takes a village to make a commercial and so you need body a village of different body parts yes because why do you think like in a commercial you want the consumer to look better than ever before but no one really looks that good so they make a mix of different i have the best crotch and the second best mouth. And so in Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:43:06 And so they put my stuff there and then they put somebody else's really good hair. See, I have bangs. That girl doesn't have bangs. That's somebody else's hair. Stuff like that. Who directed this thing? Dr. Victor Frankenstein? No.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Well, who did direct it? Because I've been actually trying to get into this world a little more and i would love to just like unable to make any meaningful contacts yeah take him out for coffee pick their brain okay just yeah that's dr frankenstein by trying to pick your brain okay i'll tell you no kidding i'll tell you who directed this commercial but do you want joke answer or serious answers only or Or can I do one of both? And then you can guess which one's the joke and which one's real. I don't want to pick.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Yeah. Okay. Here, I'll give you one joke and one serious you guys can guess. Yeah, let's. Serious answer is Jakes' Manski and joke answer is Chandler from Friends. Okay. Okay. And so Friends was the serious answer last time it came up.
Starting point is 00:44:08 And now I'm just trying to track. Now one of the guys from Friends has become a joke answer. Yeah. Because I guess he struggled with addiction or something. Yeah. I guess that's funny. So Sean, what's your guess? Oh, I'm doing a guess as well.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Yeah. I shouldn't say Chandler from Friends. I just saw him getting raked over the coals for that one. I think it is seriously, Jake. I'm just seeing pieces of this, like of the staging where I'm like, this is the part of the same universe where Mike and Dave are needing wedding. It's Mike and Dave Tablo. It's not happening. This is a classic Mike and Dave Tablo.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Yes. These two people may need wedding dates. Yeah. It's that close. That's the right answer. But I wasn't listening to you guys talking because I was thinking the whole time, I think I don't know how to pronounce his last name.
Starting point is 00:44:59 How do you know it's the right answer then? You did do it incorrectly. Yeah, what is it? Simansky? How do you say it? It's Sp? You did do it incorrectly. Yeah, what is it? Simansky? How do you say it? It's Spymansky. It's not Ciz. Don't call me Ciz.
Starting point is 00:45:12 His true name. He is a Ciz. His true name is Spymansky. Simansky. And he has played this role in our little game to a T, perfection. Luring you into the trap. As you admit that it is your mouth that summons the housewives to the football game. Injuring Dak Prescott, also a party to our class action suit.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Mr. Jake was the pawn in our game. And now the move has checkmate of the queen, you. Keep playing this. The rook. And on demand, together. Football, housewives.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Football, housewives. So this is on you. Keep going. I just wonder, I need you to watch every second of this. Everything that's happening. The housewives being on the field is on you. You did that. You did that.
Starting point is 00:46:13 They tackle. He fell into a table. Housewife caught the football. Who flips a table? This is entirely on you. As you admit, it was your mouth. Who flips a table? Yeah, but it wasn't my finger on the remote.
Starting point is 00:46:31 So how is that? It's a combination of... It doesn't work if it's just... Well, how the fuck is that going to hold up in court? It doesn't work if it's just the finger. You have to be saying it as well. Everyone knows this. If you're switching between two channels on DirecTV...
Starting point is 00:46:44 So then I'm only 50%... Can you hang on? Hey, excuse me. My friend just asked you to hang on a second. Sorry. Is he going to go put on a shirt that he wore in commercial? I don't think so. I think we saw how well that worked out.
Starting point is 00:47:01 And now he's back. Now he's going to put his headphones back on they're in there oh they're already in i'm mobile yeah my uh so um my wife is assembling a shelving unit in the yard and uh you know for storage and um she wanted my help but i just told her, we're about to put the final nail in Lisa Killjoy's coffin over here. And we will be suing her as well. I said, I need literally just one second. We will be suing Sean's wife right after this.
Starting point is 00:47:39 To finish murdering her. Oh, God. I've got receipts. So what the fuck is this one one this is the most fucked up one of all exhibit this shit for donkin fake what's that where is this mountain where is that mountain calabasas calabasas yeah yeah right rapunzel rapun, let down your hair. Zach!
Starting point is 00:48:06 Not your name. Different guy. She just gave it to Zach. Right. That's great. You're great. Making big coffee. Here's the fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:48:15 No, let's talk about this. The coffee's way too big. What? That's sick. The coffee looks fucked. The coffee's twice the size of the man hey go back wait a minute don't play the part where i put the spoon in my mouth again kevin don't because i'll know what you're up to i'll blur it play it again but blur that part blur this we cannot have wiki make
Starting point is 00:48:37 it even more after yeah don't put a green screen over the the spoon was. You're on green. Pause it here. You're going to drink the coffee like that? Yeah. Coffee's bigger than the guy. It's way too big. The way you're holding it, it's going to get everywhere. Okay, just want to say, I don't know how they did things in 1942, Hayes, but your jealousy is showing. I'll tell you how we did things.
Starting point is 00:49:04 We went overseas And we TCB You put on your Fucking uniform You loaded up your weapon You got off the boat And you knocked the sauerkraut
Starting point is 00:49:20 Out of those fucks That's what we did in 1942 That's a that's a little taste of how we did things but sean so i'm doing a joke again on haze and i'm saying like yes yes so you're not like from 1942 but when you join in it makes it more like too fun then it's not a roast on haze it's like you being like yeah us two were military boys and then i start feeling left out and that wasn't how it was supposed to be we're teamed up on you give it to me again give it to me again okay i don't remember how they did things in commercials in 1942 haze probably does the old fuck yeah so something like that yeah okay yeah haze uh tell me again about when the planet was invented yeah haze, do you seem to recall Brontosaurus?
Starting point is 00:50:06 Or maybe you're sad to think about him because you watched him die from the meteors. How does he taste the Brontosaurus when he is your dinner? Hayes, what's you do your big Flintstones car? Okay, so you were. So your entire claim is that you weren't even at the museum. And yet, all of a sudden, you've become quite an expert about Brontosaurus. On Brontosaurus. And once again, Sean is pretending to be, to not like me.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And he actually does. And yes, we appeared to be in lockstep, you and I i when actually i was uh being good spy for me the whole time hey hey hayes can i ask you did you maybe get a hug before we started recording from sean and said he said looking forward to recording with you today buddy i i guess it was i mean i wouldn't describe it it as different from any other hug that we've done. But yeah, it's not something that stood out to me necessarily. It was a little bigger. I wrote that.
Starting point is 00:51:11 I wrote that, Hayes. That was the plan. And you played right into our fishy scheme. You stupid one. You idiot. So what? Lisa came to me um yeah she sniffed out the entire plan pretty quickly to do this whole class action because i was like why would you drive to my house to hug me the night before a podcast no podcast host has ever done that before right i knew immediately something
Starting point is 00:51:39 was weird no she had me uh she had me nailed pretty fast and um so she sort of devised this scheme to turn the tables on you i didn't really have much of a choice and so what and what so what happens to me then i don't understand we call you old we say you're old and you know what hayes you've now illegally torrented four separate commercials that belong to the Republic of the United States of America. You have no right to broadcast any of this and remain silent and anything you
Starting point is 00:52:13 do, say, commercial will actually be in the law. In forever and amen the superior justice. Of. The peace.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Okay. So. Dark matter, yes. I have to go to jail or something? Like, who fucking cares? I don't give a shit. Who gives a shit, yeah. Well, your trial will be first, Hayes, and it's going to be a physical one.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Mm-hmm, yeah. Okay, good. I'm going to try to have to move a big tire across the lawn or like whatever like i don't like i don't know why you think i would actually care about this no i don't the tire is huge this is like a joke to me like i'll do like okay if that's like if you think that's cool or like crazy or whatever but like i don't think it's cool hayes i actually think it's yeah you do no you actually think it's care. I don't think it's cool, Hayes. I actually think it's really sad. Yeah, you do. I actually think it's really sad.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Okay, you clearly think it's cool, but whatever. We're crying about it. Okay, great. Whatever it is you want to do, I'll do it, but I do not give a shit. Stepping out of the Twisted game for just a moment, your hair is down. In the commercial? Yeah, it starts down yeah it's
Starting point is 00:53:28 down i'm he says let down your hair it's down you say just a second but it's already down it's no it has to be down further for him to grab it then you pull it back up yeah watch he's jumping for it i have watched it's gaslighting me this shit's fucking down dude cool i think we should see other people so we can talk about this face to face no no no no no and then you pull it up but it was down and then he has to go actually then he has why didn't he just climb it that's more on him don't call him a moron haze you don't even just climb it? It's more on him. Don't call him a moron, Hayes. You don't even know him. You said it's more on him.
Starting point is 00:54:08 You said it's more on him. Yeah, well, that's... I mean, it's objectively more on him. Don't say moron. You don't even know him. He's an actor. His name's David Duke. He's a really talented guy.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Actually... David Duke? Dave-a-duke, with a T at the end. Is he related to Dan? Never mind. Yes. It's his brother. His brother.
Starting point is 00:54:29 They're brothers too? Yeah. Everybody is brothers or friends or has parents and all this stuff. This whole thing. It's just what you hear about Hollywood. It's so incestuous. It's so nepotil as it. Heard she's
Starting point is 00:54:45 married to the chief of police and he's their brothers and they're putting the commercials it's all it's it's all who you know isn't it yeah yeah no it's it's nepotilia it's nepotilia do you know dan also not really just through yeah right i don't really know him i've just seen him on instagram i've never met him and yet you got in this commercial and you don't know dan more more nipple babies right right more nipple babies getting the big breaks well contrary to popular belief phase um actually women i wasn't even talking okay women don't have to have sex with two brothers to get on a commercial and i never said that you did that but you were thinking it you disgusting actually actually
Starting point is 00:55:37 didn't even cross my mind and i know if that that were presented to them they'd be like what are you doing you're being crazy you think if i tried to have sex with both of them at them they'd be like what are you doing you're being crazy you think if I tried to have sex with both of them at once they'd say what are you doing you're being insane right now you're acting weird maybe they'd be like just be in the commercial
Starting point is 00:56:00 if that's what you want normal in the commercial please just be normal in the normal but don't act strange right what's your next it's not stranger things what's your next commercial yeah i don't have one little sneak preview doesn't have one well it's not out yet it's not out yet but it's i mean I haven't even shot it yet but I did just book my next commercial if you don't have another one then actually we've done our job
Starting point is 00:56:32 on this podcast I have another one it's for I can't say the brand name but I'll do the commercial for you POV you're watching me in my next commercial mom what the hell's going on with this the countertop oh dear the sponge is in the cupboard well that's not my that's it oh look at that shine on that one
Starting point is 00:56:53 this sponge and bring it out it's sheen on it and it's and the way it cleans from this kind of water gleam doesn't leave streaks you're're clumps in this thing. I don't know. Well, this one... She's trying to get paid. She's trying to promote the sponge on this show. I'm not going to even let her say the name of the... Bye! Goodbye!
Starting point is 00:57:20 Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.

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