Hollywood Handbook - Listeners, Our Close Friends 4
Episode Date: December 19, 2017Sean and Hayes do another episode where the listeners call them and talk about their Best of 2017.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art1...9.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. We're playing spin the bottle. But of course, we don't have a bottle.
So we're just spinning like a piece of hay.
And you really have to force it.
It doesn't just spin on its own.
When you start it spinning, it won't build any momentum to continue.
It would help to spear it with the end of a very sharp pencil.
That maybe...
Just simple machines.
Yeah.
As Chandler from Friends said, you'd be a great person to have around the day after
an emergency.
Of course, he said that.
Should be when it's happening.
Yes.
No.
That's when I would have really been good.
Hmm. But he's suggesting, I would have really been good. Hmm.
But he's suggesting, well, what was happening was, I think.
The day after it's over.
Well, it was, he had accidentally told everyone that Ross was in love with Rachel.
Mm-hmm.
And I think Joey was suggesting things maybe he should have said instead.
Does nobody talk about it on that show, how they're brother and sister?
Who?
Ross and Rachel is just supposed to be a normal thing?
Well, I mean, I think they're using condoms.
So what happened to the hay?
Well, basically, it's not really spin. It was windy that day, too. It's not really to the hay? Well, basically, it's not really spinning.
It was windy that day, too.
It's not really spinning the hay.
Oh, we kept losing it.
So it is spinning, but I guess you have to just be running after it while it spins in the air.
It's not spinning.
It's just sort of flying.
But it winds up being more point the hay, you know?
And so...
Pick it up.
Yeah. Cliven keeps Pick it up. Yeah.
Cliven keeps pointing at me.
Right.
And Adina is pulling his arm to get it to point to her.
Like she's really trying to force it, going like,
you're not spinning it right and trying to pull it.
And I finally go, you two work this out.
But you know what they say, and maybe you learned this lesson,
is that when you point the hay at someone,
there's always a little piece of hay pointing back at you.
There's three pieces of hay pointing back at you.
Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt
and Dropping Names and the Red Carpet Line Back Hallways of this industry we call showbiz.
What up, what up?
And it's a more interesting thing to say every time for me.
I'm finding new complexities in it.
Well, I like the length.
New tasting notes.
And I like the sort of jokes within the sort of wordplay that happens in the pandemic.
I'm experiencing them anew every time.
Welcome to doing this show.
And that's because you are in charge.
Yes.
And we, at long last, are ready to sort of wrap up the year.
Yeah.
Boo 2017.
I'm so glad to be rid of this dumpster fire that was 2017.
We are going to give it an honorable kiss off.
Yes.
Don't let the door hit you where the good lord, be it him or her, splits you.
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
Split you.
Okay?
It's a general neutral,
general neutral supreme being that we're talking about.
And women can split.
And women can split.
I'm sorry.
They also can split.
It's 2017 and they can split,
but also boo 2017,
but not because of that.
So that is something we want to be very clear on.
When we say where the good Lord split you,
the Lord to us could be anything.
It doesn't have to have a gender at all.
Yeah.
Or it could change its mind.
It's not some ancient Buddha who sits on a cloud.
Yeah.
It's not some big fat Buddha.
With nine arms and doing all the crazy stuff.
And some of these big fat Buddhas that have been sitting on a cloud in Hollywood for so long
are using their nine arms to grab stuff they're not supposed to.
And yes, Boo 2017, but not because of that either.
No, that I like.
But some of the other stuff, personal stuff, that's happened for me, I don't like.
So we're taking calls, and we want to do the best movies and books and shows and podcasts.
Podcasts, hello.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hello.
And we're doing that on the show today.
And TV.
Mm-hmm.
It's as disrespected as it is.
When I said shows, yes, I meant theater, live Broadway.
It's comfort food.
Broadway shows.
Mm-hmm.
But TV also.
Mm-hmm.
Broadway shows for me, number one, probably Hamilton.
Okay.
Probably Hamilton.
Okay.
For me, it's once again The Lion. Probably Hamilton. Okay, for me it's once again
the Lion King.
Okay, well let's work
it out with some of the callers.
And so we do have the right number now. Can we
just talk about, Cody, what happened during the
half hour when the wrong
number was sent out?
Well, there was a little technical confusion
on the number. Let's just talk for a second. Some people will know what happened The number was sent out. Well, there was a little technical confusion. Yeah.
On the number.
Let's just talk for a second.
Some people will know what happened from Twitter.
I noticed that Cody's phone was ringing a lot in that half hour.
I came in and said, we'd like to do a call-in show.
Can you give me the number so I can tweet it out?
Cody then disappeared into the studio for, let's be fair and let's be honest.
How long would you say it was?
Nine minutes?
Oh, yeah.
About nine minutes that he was inside.
So you said, okay, hang on.
I assume read the number off of a piece of paper where it was written down in there.
That took nine minutes.
I think it was written down on the computer, but he came out with a piece of paper.
He came out with a piece of paper. So the precious number would not be
misplaced. And gave it to me. He didn't call out the number.
He wouldn't trust his memory
to make it from this
room to the outside room.
To give people an idea of the geography,
it's ten feet away.
So he walked out, he handed
me the number, I tweeted
it, and then everyone
started tweeting at me that it
was wrong.
And then when I said
Cody, is this the wrong number?
He said,
Kevin, come look at this.
In order to show Kevin
how the mistake he made was
in fact not a mistake.
Even though it definitely
was.
And then I walked in and said, we're doing a call-in show.
Are we ready to do it?
And Kevin's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're ready.
And then at 11.32, after everyone's supposed to have called in,
I was like, who's screening the calls?
Who's doing this?
And Kevin got a little bit salty.
A little salty.
Yeah.
He was like, I can.
And I was like, well, yeah, seems like you would be the best candidate.
You're the only one here who's not doing anything else.
And he goes, yeah, I guess it seems like I would be in like a sarcastic way.
Yeah, and he's the chief junior producer in training for this show.
So, of course, he should be the one to spin the calls.
Am I going to do it?
No.
Are you?
No, because I am a secondary junior producer in training.
I'm not the chief.
That's Chief Kevin.
And also, my mic was completely off when we started the show.
It was 100% off at zero.
And I said, oh, yeah, nobody heard.
Well, we can put it in post.
That's what I'm asking you to do.
Let's get some of these callers in here.
Yeah, it sounds like someone's already on the line.
Yeah.
You are online.
Hello?
Hello.
Hi, guys.
Hi, who's this?
This is James.
I'm in D.C.
D.C.
D.C. James.
It's D.C. James. Hey, D.C. James. It's D.C.
James.
Hey, hey, you know, it's a call-in show, so maybe I should call you Colin Anderson.
Oi, mate.
Oi, bruv.
Do you get it, D.C.
James?
I mean, yeah.
Actually, I don't think I know who Colin Anderson is.
Maybe I should listen to the show more.
I'd learn more.
Okay, this is your first time hearing the show.
We get this a lot when we do Colin shows,
things that are just kind of the feed is breaking out over ham radios,
and we get a lot of ham enthusiasts.
What's your handle?
Trucker 420.
I don't know.
Is it like numbers?
Your handle has trucker in it?
I don't know.
It's no wonder you had to go all the way up to 420. All the way to 420.
It must be a lot of truckers.
Jesus.
Your trucker handle is trucker.
I mean, it's easy to remember
DC James
we're also probably
going to get a lot
I think there are a lot
of like firefighters
and stuff like
using radios
that like are trying
to cover the
the wildfires right now
and I just hope
if we are breaking
into their feeds
as well
that they're
that we're just
giving them a nice
little laugh
while they're spraying the hose.
I mean, whistle while you work.
There's no reason you can't have fun,
even if you got a serious job.
I know, I feel that way.
So, DC James, what you sipping on?
Yeah, we always start,
just tell us what you're sipping on, please.
I had some vitamin C mixture with water, the powder thing. Yeah, it's emergency. It wasn't some vitamin C mixture with water
the like powder thing
yeah it's emergency
it wasn't some vitamin C mixture
it was emergency
that's what you had
it was the orange one
yeah
thank you
thanks
thank you
so we're doing best ofs
I guess let's start with your best
Broadway show of the year
I love that one So we're doing best ofs. I guess let's start with your best Broadway show of the year.
I love that one, The Spamalot.
Okay.
I had almost forgotten about that one.
That was pretty good.
It's very, very like rando.
And you're excited for Spamalton?
Spamalton, yeah.
I would see that.
And I enjoyed,
The Lion King was my favorite show of the year,
as it is every year,
but I did enjoy The Spam Lion King as well.
TC James, we do have to get to other callers.
I know, you're like sort of making a meal out of this.
Yeah.
Pretty selfish.
What's another best thing that you love?
I like the NFL.
The good TV show.
Okay.
Yeah, unfortunately, we've been pissed at it.
And if you listen to the show, I know you're a new listener who's calling in.
But we actually have our own version of the NFL that's better that we made.
And I will say also, since you're DC James, that means that the team that you must like is actually not very respectful and specifically to people with a rash.
So if you could actually be a little nicer to people that have a rash on them.
Which if you listen to the show, you know Scott Aukerman has a rash.
Yeah, and maybe not make fun of them with the name of your favorite team,
D.C. James.
And did you ever think about that?
I didn't think about that, and I'm really sorry to say that.
And I guess that's what makes you, if you live in D.C.,
you must be one of these clowns that live in the frigging circus.
All right, bye, D.C. James.
I'm out of here.
All right, nice. Give it to somebody else. Here we go.C. James. I'm out of here. All right.
Nice.
Give it to somebody else.
Here we go.
907 number.
What up, what up?
What up, what up?
And Cody, don't just say the area code.
Just give the complete phone number when somebody calls.
Yeah, no, please.
Cody's like 907 number.
Yeah, just the whole thing. And triangulate, please.
So not just the phone number, but where they are.
Alaska.
I'm looking to die, so.
Yeah.
What up, what up?
Cody, send all of your friends to kill whoever calls, please.
I'm trying to talk to a guest.
I'm trying to talk to our guest.
Okay, well, try harder.
What up, what up?
What you sipping on?
Water, you know, it's early morning. What up, what up? What you sipping on? I, I, water.
You know, it's early morning.
So good.
What kind are you, is it alkaline or what's the pH?
I, you know, straight from the tap.
Holy shit.
And what kind of powder do you have in it?
Yeah, what are you putting in, mead or?
I guess that's
just, just, so you're literally just drinking raw, rugged tap water. Yeah, what are you putting in, meo? I guess that's just...
So you're literally just drinking raw, rugged tap water.
Straight from the tap, so you have your head inside the sink right now?
That's why she couldn't talk for a second.
She was like glubbing and blubbing.
What's your name?
My name is Holly.
I love that name.
Holly. Happy Holly days. this must be an exciting time
have a holly jally christmas i have made that joke before and my friends get mad at me
oh okay well you have for new friends yeah yeah your friend should be doing if i mean
you shouldn't have to be the one that makes that joke about your own name.
With friends like these, who needs anemones, right?
And that's my sort of sea-based joke.
Yeah.
I'm a marine biologist freak.
I love that stuff.
And I will say, at your beach house, it does say that you have one of those little signs in your bathroom.
You have a lot of sort of beach-themed signs.
I have a lot of buckets of bleach where I'm bleaching skulls that I found on the beach, seal skulls and various other marine life.
You've got to bleach it out because otherwise it's going to stink to high heaven.
But I also have a lot of funny signs.
But if you own the sign and it's in your bathroom, it's not stealing for you to use that joke on your show.
What do you think about this, Holly?
I have a lot of funny pool signs,
even though it's a beach house and it's really just the ocean.
But I just couldn't resist.
You know, welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Let's keep it that way.
Am I not going to buy that sign?
Yeah, I think she likes it.
Yeah, I think she likes the sign.
Mm-hmm. Is there another one? Hmm? Is there that sign? Yeah, I think she likes it. You have to do it. Yeah, I think she likes the sign. Mm-hmm.
Is there another one?
Hmm?
Is there another sign?
Oh, God.
Dude, oodles.
Oodles.
Is that like noodles?
Like pool noodles,
but there's no N in it? Mm-hmm.
Look.
Cody,
what question did you have
for the caller?
The N is news.
My question...
Do not discuss news or politics
when you're in my pool.
Yeah, what's your question, Cody?
So, Hallie, you're in Alaska.
Not currently,
but I am from Alaska.
We can still answer this question,
I think.
Yeah.
What's it like up there?
Rainy, where I'm from at least.
You're kidding me.
Exhaling.
You're kidding me.
Yeah.
Where in Alaska are you?
It's a little town called Sitka.
It's on an island.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, I went there once.
I went there once. I went there once
when I was a little kid
and I found some gold.
They took us out
to find gold
in a little stream
and yeah,
I found a little bit
and it ended up
in a velvet satchel
that I got to keep.
That's amazing.
And I went there
to fight the grizzly man.
Oh, shit.
Did you win?
It wasn't about winning or losing for me.
You been seeing him up there lately?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, you heard much from him?
Not lately.
For a while.
So there you go.
Basically, we were the last two people up to play the role of Woody on Cheers.
So I
go up, just launch into a haymaker. I go, hey, man, you know, it's between me and you.
Sorry, my dog's barking at someone. I just launch into a haymaker, right? I go like,
I sucker punch the guy. I go, I'm going to get this role. Anyway, he somehow hears me.
I must have like cracked a stick right before I stepped and plant my foot.
So he spins around, grabs me by the neck, and starts choking me hard.
And I'm thinking, I don't like this.
Because not only can I not breathe.
He's lifting you up.
I can't speak to say, hey, let's settle this like adults.
Which is now what I've decided I'd rather do.
The fight winds up lasting for so long
that no one could get in touch with us
from the Cheers casting department
and they wind up casting some other guy.
What do you think about that?
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I'm not, I'm doing great. No, I think it was a missed opportunity? I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm not.
I'm doing great.
No, I think it was a missed opportunity.
I'm doing great.
Yeah, where to be sorry?
I mean, you can hear.
Obviously, you're a fan.
You're calling into the show.
You love Sean's shit.
Yeah.
So, seems like you're doing okay.
What did Woody Harrelson do this year?
I don't really remember.
Was he in anything?
Yeah.
Meanwhile, I was the usher on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
You know what I mean?
He was in Rampart
like three years ago.
Which is a great movie,
but it's like
it was so long ago.
Yeah,
Sean was the usher
on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
I was the usher.
Yeah,
I have HBO now,
so I was able to see that.
You did a great job I think
I don't care
I mean it's done
I did it
so then to be evaluating
whether or not it went well
it's too late
but also obviously it did
it was on TV
so obviously this gets us
into what we wanted to talk about.
Your best of list would be, best thing that happened was I was the usher on Curb.
Yeah.
And that was the best acting performance.
And is that your best TV show?
Overall.
Sean being on Curb.
Sure.
That's number one?
Do I agree with that?
They made a lot of TV this year.
Do I agree with that?
Yeah.
It's peak TV.
It is peak TV. Is that number one?
Me on curb. Well, Holly,
make your case. Why do you think it's better than everything else?
Because it's the only thing
on TV that I've watched. Everything
else is just reruns.
It's all reruns now. They say it's
peak TV, but it is all reruns. Everything they're
just showing you. Everything else. It's old
and they're showing it and pretending that it's new.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All this stuff was shot months ago.
Reruns.
That's a rerun.
Yeah.
Boy, you'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
Yeah.
So let's talk a little bit more about Alaska.
I think Cody had another question.
Yeah.
I was wondering, is there bears up there?
Yeah.
Yep.
There are grizzly bears.
Yep.
They hang out.
That's scary.
That sounds terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, like, they're kind of just like, honestly,, they're just, like, big raccoons at this point.
You just leave them alone.
They won't talk with you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, just keep your distance.
They were here first, you know?
That's true.
Is that confirmed?
Well.
Like, in your house?
Like, yeah. They actually, they're in the, yeah.
That they were here first rule doesn't really work for a lot of stuff.
Because, for instance, I moved to L.A. before like Timothee Chalamet or whatever.
But then he's in these big movies.
And I'm stuck playing the usher on Kurt.
It is the same.
But I was here first. It's a total lack of respect
for people
that were here first doing
their time. It's our land.
The people that moved here nine years ago.
And now these
people just show up. They've stolen our land.
And start booking like crazy.
You know?
I could have
nailed that. What? In Lady Bird, he's like a high school bass player? I could have nailed that in Lady Bird.
He's like a high school bass player.
I would have crushed that.
Think about that.
Think about it.
Thinking about it hard.
Okay, we got to move on.
Hallie, is there something you wanted to throw out there?
Anything you want to plug?
No.
Thanks for doing your thing.
Okay, missed opportunity.
Bye.
That's a lesson.
That's a lesson.
That's a lesson for other callers.
Hey, I'm going to have some air time on this big show.
I at least have someone in my life that I care about that I'd like to.
A shout out to someone, you know?
And I'd like to share. And maybe I should, you know? And I'd like to share.
And maybe I should be sipping on something like a little more sophisticated.
Because it says something about you.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Is somebody on?
Well, yeah.
Let's do it.
This is a caller from Connecticut.
I bet they're sipping on something nice.
Okay.
Ooh.
You're on the air.
203. I'm on the air. 203.
I'm on the air?
Hi.
What's up?
Hi.
Who's this?
This is Dieter from Connecticut.
Dieter.
Dieter.
Dieter.
Now is the time that we dance.
Welcome to Sprockets, Dieter.
And the monkey.
Dieter, what are you sipping on?
I'm spitting on a nice Mexican Coke
Okay
Real sugar
Oh, you can't get that out here
No, you can't get it everywhere
It's with real sugar
It's not cord syrup
So good
It's better for you
And it really does taste different
And I find
I actually feel a little bit sorry for you Because now that you're having a Mexican Coke It is going to be impossible for you to go really does taste different and I find I actually feel a little bit sorry for you
because now that you're having a Mexican Coke it is going to
be impossible for you to go back to regular Coke
ever again.
Or any kind of fake sugar.
And the bottles
are glass which means it's for recycling.
I've had Mexican Coke and when
I try fake sugar
instantly I
vomit.
It's instantaneous, Dieter.
And his mouth is already full of soda.
He has a complete mouth full of soda that then is also flooded with vomit.
I throw up the Mexican soda I had right before, which is so wasteful, but also tastes good.
So, Dieter, I've traveled around Connecticut a little bit.
Tell me, woher kommst du von, Dieter?
Where are you from, buddy?
I have no idea what you just said.
Where are you from, buddy? I have no idea what you just said. Where are you from, buddy?
He's pretending not to know German,
which makes me sort of feel like he might have fled Germany a while ago
and is, like, pretending that he's not from there.
Yeah.
Dieter!
Entschuldigung!
Entschuldigung, Dieter!
Woher kommst du von?
Come on!
Nein. I'm from Milford. Milford! Milford! Come on. Nice.
I'm from Milford.
Milford.
Milford Amusement Center.
We've got the fun.
Remember?
That is closed down.
Yeah, it's no longer there.
What'd you do?
Friggin' beat Lethal Enforcer finally.
Well, somebody beat it.
Shut the door.
The banks of Lightstar car go.
Mm-hmm.
What happened?
You friggin' walked all the way up the skee-ball ramp?
Start sticking your fist through the 100?
Yeah, he broke the machine.
Like, he cracked the machine.
Mm-hmm.
He solved it.
People thought it was unscalable
got the tickets out finally got that
IWO boombox you had your eye on
got a friggin 3 CD changer
you put it on concert mode
watch the friggin light bars go up and down
give me something Dieter
that guy who's sipping on Mexican coke you're pretty slow on the uptake man Give me something, Dieter.
That guy who's sipping on Mexican Coke, you're pretty slow on the uptake, man.
That stuff gets me jacked up.
He's savoring it.
Instead of talking, he's just the mouth feel.
What's happening in Milftown tonight?
Not much.
It's snowing.
I don't know if you guys have ever heard of it.
Okay, yeah, I've heard of that stuff.
All right, he's coming at me.
I like it.
I can take it a little bit, a little bit of ribbon.
Okay, yeah, I've heard of snowing.
You got me.
I'm in L.A., okay.
That's fair.
Tough but fair, Dieter.
Milford, you out by the water, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, you go out there?
Oh, I run to the beach all the time.
Skinny dipping?
Yeah.
Oh, a notable silence on skinny dipping.
Okay.
It's illegal.
It's illegal.
Yeah.
You go out there and park with your girl?
Oh, yeah, all the time.
Yeah, park, start necking.
Tide comes in.
Or boy.
Your car rushes out into the ocean.
Yeah.
You get into whatever.
Damn, man.
You ever catch any frigging crabs or little critters out there by the beach?
Of course.
You know, you just walk in there, and a hermit crab just crawls into your shoe,
boom, free hermit crab.
Okay, this guy
knows the score. Speaking my language.
Yeah, this dude knows what's up.
And Cody, I think, had a question for you.
Yeah, yeah.
I was wondering, you ever seen that movie
Blood Diamond?
I have not seen the movie
Blood Diamond.
You should check it out.
It's a...
I honestly...
That's on Cody's
year-end best of list.
I...
Look.
I'm sure the movie's good.
I know it would
change my
purchasing habits
a lot
if I saw it.
And I'm not ready to...
Like, this year, you know, I'm not ready to
change the kind of jewels that I buy. I don't want to let go. Yeah. It's just like,
give me a little time. So much has changed so fast. And while a lot of it is positive,
just give me a beat, you know, to kind of sit with some of my habits because I can't completely overhaul the whole system right away.
Yeah.
All right.
And I've noticed that Cody has completely stopped wearing diamonds.
Mm-hmm.
In the last few—when did you see that movie?
I'm going to guess you saw that movie like two months ago.
Sounds about right.
Yeah, because since then, not a single diamond.
Yeah, it's at least been cut way down.
He doesn't have any visible diamonds.
I believe he still has the navel stud,
and that is probably just a matter of you get infected
if you take that out too fast,
and he has to have a valid replacement.
You know who I think is the navel stud?
The guy from JAG.
You know who I think is the naval stud?
The guy from JAG.
Catherine Bell.
So, Dieter, you know, we only have so much time here.
What's the best TV that you had the whole year?
Probably The Good Place.
That was pretty good.
Okay. Okay. That was pretty good. Okay.
Okay.
Thanks, Dieter.
Bye.
Love you guys.
All right, here we go.
We got a Seattleite.
Hello?
Hello.
Okay. Hello?
Okay, wait a second.
Okay, wait.
Don't say anything.
Don't say anything.
Don't say a word.
It's a Seattleite.
Let me see.
Cody, are you looking at the blue dot that indicates his location?
I am.
Is he from Seattle or is he from Vashon Island?
Is it potentially on a slow-moving boat crossing between a fully forested island and the civilization of Seattle?
He is.
It looks a lot like that scene from Dark Knight.
Okay.
Okay, and we got into Cody's second movie from his best of.
It was number one was Blood Diamond, number two Dark Knight.
Chanson, how are you?
I'm great.
I'm Lucas.
I'm calling from Northern California.
Everybody has a different place than their dad is.
What are you doing in Northern California?
Oh, it makes me feel like for the last three years,
you've just been very slowly making your way towards us.
Oh, yeah, same boat.
Oh, you're moving down the coast.
Oh, wow.
Look out.
If the show's still on in three years, look out. Wow. If the show's still on in three years, look out.
Wow.
If the show's still on in three years,
Chanson predicting our demise.
Let me tell you something, buddy.
This show's not going anywhere.
I'll be doing this until, what year is it now?
Oh, boy.
17? Boo, Oh, boy.
17?
Boo.
Boo.
What am I booing?
Boo 17.
If you're still on in boo 20.
Okay, so he's
saying we'll be done
in 2020.
In boo 20.
You know what?
I shouldn't have
taken such a strong
stance.
That makes sense.
We probably will be
done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For my cold, dead
hands, but that could
happen by 2020. For my cold, dead hands. But that could happen by 2020.
For sure.
Well, catch us up, Chanton.
You know, what's been going on?
Sure.
Well, I was calling in
because everybody knows
what they're sipping on.
But I don't know what to sip on.
I'm thirsty.
What should I...
Tell me what to drink.
You probably have one of those Water world machines on your boat, huh?
If you've been offshore for so long.
What mode should I put it on?
Yeah, you probably, yes.
Do you recall, Chanson, in the Dana Carvey stand-up special Critics' Choice, where he
would talk about Ross Perot being mad about the Waterworld machine?
Of course, but tell me what it is.
Oh, I'm just asking if you remember.
Sure.
Yeah.
Pretty funny.
So your PP machine has different modes?
Yes.
There's high and medium and baked potato.
Baked potato.
It's like a microwave.
It's like a microwave.
Oh, okay.
I get it.
Okay, that's an interesting pee-pee machine.
Chance, what's some of the best movies?
What's some of the best movies?
Well, I haven't bought any diamonds, Cody, since I saw Blood Diamond.
I've bought zero diamonds since then, so that's a good tip.
That is good news.
Wait for Cody to ask you a question.
Cody, you can ask your question now.
Oh.
Chanson, question for you.
Do you have any engineering skills?
We learned today that Cody hates this job,
and the one good recording experience he ever had
was for some basketball show that wasn't on Earwolf,
but was a mid-roll show.
Hosted by a Grey's Anatomy actor.
Yeah, and they were talking very sincerely about basketball,
and Cody really loved how much he was learning recording the show,
and he was fully locked in.
And that was the one time that he had a good experience recording the show.
He does not like doing this.
So I think he's looking potentially for you to replace him.
No, no, no. I actually meant electrical engineering.
What's broken, Cody?
What do you need fixed?
His heart. The lights.
No lights went out of his heart.
Mm-hmm.
Well, it's good to know. We'll keep you
on the radar for any of that stuff.
Jansen,
what new music are you excited
about this year? What's the best music
of the year?
Oh, the best
music of the year.
You know, I'll tell you mine.
Jazz. Yeah, you go first.
Jazz.
Jazz.
Boo 2017, but not because
of all the jazz, because it was the
year of jazz.
Finally.
They're trying to keep jazz down.
That's the problem.
Yes.
That's why it's 2017.
We have to hide out in these underground smoke-filled cafes.
No more.
We're coming up to the surface very soon.
We're going to be out in the streets with our jazz.
And you won't like it when we do.
You better fall in line or get out the way.
Yeah, I like that.
There'll be a lot of jazz funerals.
2018 because of all the clean, outdoor, sunlight jazz.
Yeah, once we come up on the street, anyone who steps in our way gets a jazz funeral.
And that includes you.
You're my friend?
Mm-hmm.
You're my friend, Chanton?
Oh, looks like the call
was dropped.
Oops.
Oh, Cody got fed up.
Who cares?
All right.
All right.
Let's, um,
let's move on
to the next one.
Mm-hmm.
Hello?
Hi.
Hey, what you sipping on?
Hey, it's me again, who you just hung up on again or something.
Oh, is this Chanson?
What?
I'm back.
Oh, we're done with you.
This is Chanson from Seattle.
Get out of here, man.
How did he do it?
That's the second time Cody hung up on me by accident today.
Get out of here, man.
Later, man.
Okay, bye.
That was weird, huh?
How did he come back so fast?
Weird guy, man.
All right, here we go.
It's 760.
760.
Hey, you're calling the Hollywood Handbook Show.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Hey, what you sipping on?
I am actually on a zero-liquid diet currently.
Mm, okay.
Okay.
Saltine challenge, huh?
No, not really, but it's a similar concept.
Yeah, just go with it, man.
When I say saltine challenge...
Especially if it's similar.
If it's similar.
You don't got to correct me.
I mean... Let him have a good time. You're making it up.. If it's similar. You don't got to correct me. I mean, you're making it up.
Let me have some fun.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Let Sean be a part of it.
No, not really.
760.
But it's similar.
All right.
You know what?
Fuck it.
What is it?
Yeah, what is it?
What is the no liquid diet?
Yeah.
It's a diet.
I don't drink anything.
I just eat.
Yeah, like a saltine challenge.
You don't drink anything in that.
You just eat saltines.
Yeah, you're not allowed to drink anything in it.
Then you're disqualified from the challenge.
Yeah.
So it's exactly what you just described.
Who is this?
My name's Vincent.
Vinton.
Fake name, I bet.
Vintint.
Vintint.
Unreal.
Well, Vint.
Vint and Vint go.
I'm going to ask you something.
Answer very carefully.
In the no-liquid diet,
you eat astronaut ice cream?
Oh. Okay. You eat astronaut ice cream? Oh.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Because that's got no liquid in it.
Okay.
So we figured we found a middle ground.
Some kind of common ground.
Okay.
It's time for a segment we do called Cody's Question.
Cody, ask your question.
Hey there.
You ever been to Oklahoma City?
No,
but that just makes me think of basketball.
Cody has something that he needs to be
picked up there.
So please... He had a package
that he accidentally got delivered there
a few years ago.
Someone is passing
through town
or has ever been there and knows someone.
What are you doing here?
You have to screen the calls.
Taking quick pics.
Quickest pics.
Cody thought it could be funny if you got a package delivered to somewhere else
and you put down a fake address.
They'd get to that address, realize it wasn't you,
and then bring it to wherever
you really are.
He sort of thought it was like a fun little joke to play on the postal workers.
And he thought he could save money that way, too, by not shipping it all the way to California,
just pay half the money.
And then they'd be like, oh, this was our mistake.
Instead, they'd just have kept it there.
They'd go, wait a minute, Cody's not here.
And then they'd bring it to his house.
He sort of thought there was only one mailman too.
Yeah.
And it's kind of a
it's a portable dialysis machine
that he needs.
Always be hustling.
Mm-hmm.
A-B-H.
So, Vinton,
what's your favorite music
this year, St. Vinton?
Ooh.
Oh, that one got him pretty bad.
Yeah, he has that Los Angeles song.
Hmm?
Huh?
What?
That Los Angeles song's on the radio now, yeah.
The other one goes,
it's like got a friggin' electronic beat,
and it goes,
How could anybody have you?
How could anybody have you and lose you? How could anybody have you and lose you?
How could anybody have you and lose you and not
lose their mind?
Can I actually take a second to apologize
to you, Sean? Please.
Is this about the saltine challenge?
No. We actually met
before.
At an ice skating rink.
This is my nightmare.
I'm really glad it's not happening to me right now, I just want to say.
And I was just trying to skate.
I had a little girlfriend on the side, and Sean was ahead of us.
A girlfriend on the side.
Yeah.
Side chick.
And he was, yeah, a little side chick and he was yeah
little old side chick
and
the Sean character
he would not let us through
he was slowing down
the pace
of the ice skating
and so
I had to punch him
in the face
oh boy
so you had an idea
for
what you were going to do
on the call
and what you're finding is
it was a
mistake.
And that's okay.
You know, when I was starting out,
I made all kinds of mistakes.
Man, you wouldn't believe it.
I didn't necessarily do it on a
big call with a big show like this.
But at the same time,
I could have. You know, I just wasn't really calling stuff like this. Huge call. But at the same time, I could have.
You know, I just wasn't really calling stuff like this, you know, with these kinds of half
formed ideas.
And involve me in it too.
Yeah.
Hayes might be more receptive.
I'm just sitting here and I'm the nicer one.
I guess it doesn't.
What I like is it doesn't use any hackneyed mythology from the show.
Like it doesn't just go like, he wouldn't share my hamburger sandwich.
Like it doesn't do that.
Yes, yes, yes.
So that I would say is a step in the right direction.
But in not using one of our old ideas, you didn't bring a new idea.
Like that would be my note.
I love that you went, oh, I'm going to strike out and do my own thing.
That instinct is great.
But you have to actually do it.
And this, I feel like, had the saltine challenge.
So there's a baseball in there with the strikeout?
And then, so the saltine challenge would have been great to jump off of.
Yeah. To have something from the best of list. Had that gone a little better, and then, so the saltine challenge would have been great to jump off of. Yeah.
To have something from the best on list.
Had that gone a little better,
I think,
than.
The St.
Vinton singing that I did,
I think,
could have been something that you responded to at all.
Yeah.
Because let's face it,
I crushed that song.
What was,
what was,
here's how you can help. Yeah's cook up something yeah what was kevin
doing what has kevin been doing on like call screening like what what happened when you called
what a rich area what a rich area did you speak to kevin because we're in here we have no idea he
has this whole domain out there that's all his to spread out and do whatever he wants and but i
would like some supervision in terms of how the call screening is
going.
Yeah.
Well,
he was a little mumble melt.
It sounded like he was eating a lot of donuts.
See,
there are a lot of snacks out there.
This is cool.
There are a lot of snacks.
What I like here,
we've gone pretty far down the road of both Andy being horny when he screens calls and Kevin being like a horny pervert.
I wasn't going to do that.
No, I wasn't either, but I was afraid that you might do that, which would have been understandable.
But you didn't do it.
It's more Vinted that he's cramming donuts.
Hey.
Is this Vincent?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I can hear you guys, just so you know.
That's right. So whatever you say, Vinted, I can hear you guys, just so you know. That's right.
So whatever you say, Vinted, you got to answer for.
Now, cramming donuts.
Okay, and that's sort of Chef Kevin, so he's eating.
Mumble mouth, I like that.
Maybe, so what did he sound like?
What did he say when you called?
How does he answer the phone?
Hey, guys, this is Pep Yadimir.
Okay.
Okay.
What was the idea with the ice skating thing?
Like, what was that going to be?
I tried, buddy.
I was just trying.
Well, I can explain the Kevin thing more readily.
I was thinking of Kevin James with the UPS driver,
and he's a fat guy, so he would eat donuts.
This call's all over the place.
Vinted, we got to go.
Okay.
Thanks, Vinted.
Okay, coming up, we got Max.
Cody, did you even get to ask your question, or did you?
I think I might have.
Oh, yes, Oklahoma thing.
God, it feels like a million years ago.
I know.
No, that's the thing is we gave them too many chances
because other people might be willing to really do something cool.
Where's Anastasia?
This might be her.
Where's all my old friends?
This might be her.
Hello?
Hello?
No, it's not.
No, Cody.
It's not.
It's not her.
I think he said this is Matt.
What made you think that?
Hello?
Hello, yes.
Hello.
We're saying hello.
Hey, how's it going?
It's okay.
What are you sipping on?
It's a tall glass of OJ.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Now, is it OJ. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Now, is it OJ?
Was it water that you put powdered oranges into?
Or...
Because that's what I'm interested in.
No, it's freshly squeezed.
Waste of money.
There's no reason.
You are pouring money down the drain.
You throw out so much of the orange.
Yes.
And when you freshly squeeze it.
The frigging rind, the pulp, some of the seeds.
But if you grind that all into a powder, it's so much more efficient.
We've hacked OJ.
I mean, we have completely disrupted the space.
And you can use the pouch as a change purse,
so you save every part of the pouch.
That's definitely a good idea.
I'll have to tell my mom to buy me some of those.
What's your preferred brand?
Of powder?
I'd do my own.
Put it in liquid nitrogen.
Liquid nitrogen.
I put it in the liquid nitrogen.
I shatter it with a hammer.
Now, you brought up your mom.
Does she live where Dieter's from?
I'm not sure.
Was that from earlier in the show?
Kevin cut off my audio for a bit.
Okay, Kevin set you up, dude. Sorry.
Sorry, man.
Kevin went ahead and put it on a plate for me.
Kevin was an accomplice to a murder.
And I went ahead and dug right in.
Who is this?
Max.
Max?
Max. So wait, wait.
So what made you think that this was Anastasia?
Sometimes it's like shortened.
I don't know.
Shortened.
Okay, so we know what you're sipping on.
You're from Portland, too?
Yeah.
Damn, dude.
Damn, dude.
Damn.
Damn.
All right, Cody's question.
Begin. Hey, Max. You. Damn. All right, Cody's question. Begin.
Hey, Max.
You ever heard of these EMFs?
No.
You know what I'm talking about?
No.
EMFs.
Man.
Help him, Cody.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The physical field of electromotive force
you heard of this shit man yeah what you think on that
guess guess guess what's on cody's screen guess guess you your first instinct is correct. Ghost hunting equipment?
Yes, Max, you are right.
Actually, it's a Google search for EMF.
But Cody also has been using EMFs around me a lot because he's been sick of these EMFs.
And when I asked him when he met, he went,
these extra motherfuckers.
He's like, you know how some of these motherfuckers are extra? The extra. Yeah. He's like, these extra motherfuckers. He's like, you know how some of these motherfuckers are extra?
The extra.
Yeah.
He's like, these extra motherfuckers driving me wild.
And what he meant, I guess, was us.
Yeah, I think so.
Because he doesn't like when hosts of the show
are trying to bring their own thing to it.
He wants them to kind of go over statistics.
And he wants to learn.
Mm-hmm.
I hate that I'm an extra motherfucker.
But I got to admit.
It's too late to change.
I'm so far down the road.
Yeah.
So, Max, do you have a best of for us?
Yeah. So, Max, do you have a best of for us? Yeah, best of, just CISO, all of it.
Yeah.
That was just this year, right?
Boo 2017.
Boo 2017.
Goodbye, CISO.
Yeah, I can't believe it.
We did a live show the other day.
I know.
Okay.
Is that necessary?
We were there.
Not everyone.
You were there?
You were there?
Oh.
Yeah.
Did you do the autograph?
Yeah.
You did?
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
I saw a picture.
Okay.
Rich guy, huh?
Mm.
Mm.
Okay.
Well, congratulations.
So we did this thing. And if you you just you don't have to say i know
after everything i said you are gonna know a lot of this stuff it's not even necessarily for you
i just want to preface that with you are gonna know some of the things i'm saying because you
were there but some of the other people listening might not know and i know cody doesn't know it was
a big earwolf event i saw no no sign of Cody the entire day.
And he didn't come up.
Basically, everyone else associated with Earwolf.
No discussion or sign of Cody.
Where were you?
What?
Did you know that there was a big live show last weekend?
Sunday.
Okay, yeah, Sunday.
Sunday.
Cody's trying to get his church going.
He talks about getting his church on.
Mm-hmm.
So we had this thing, and we did the live show,
and then afterwards we signed autographs with everyone else,
and we were all sitting along a big table.
And every other person, I was sitting next to Kulop,
and every other person who went by was like,
I was a big fan of Bajillion.
What's happening with that?
What's happening with the show?
And I was like, oh, that seems really fun.
I'm sure Kulop is really enjoying every other person who goes by
having to say like, oh, we're still, you know, we're
trying to find a home for it.
Yeah, that must be the kind of conversation you want to have over and over again.
And I have a feeling you were one of those people.
It's definitely not the kind of thing, Max, where if something positive did happen with
it, you would announce it and let people know.
And then if you're not announcing anything, probably what's going on is you're trying to find a home for this thing that
you worked hard on.
So I think it's a good question to ask.
Did you ask it, Max?
Did you ask?
I did not.
Did you ask Kulop?
Lying.
I remember you asking.
I remember you asking.
That's why we asked.
We got you.
Got trapped.
We got you.
Trapped. We got you, we got you you bitch all right get
rid of it were you wait wait wait keep it on is he on yes were you one of the people that was going
through the line and being like to sean and i oh i actually hadn't uh i wasn't familiar with your
show but uh that was fun you guys did a good job. I enjoyed watching your show.
Your chemistry.
Now I definitely remember you because we did not
get a lot of that.
Now I know you. There was only two of you guys.
Okay. Get rid of him.
Get rid of him. Dropped. Dropping him.
Nope. Nope. Gotcha.
Not today.
Not today, bitch. Extra motherfuckers. Hey, nope. Gotcha, yeah. Not today. Not today, bitch.
Extra motherfuckers.
Hey, man, I'm guilty as charged.
Lock me up, man.
All right, should we see what Colin's sipping on?
I guess.
Wait, is Anastasia or any of our old friends?
Let me look at who's on there.
There's only three.
What?
Kyle.
I want to pick from the three.
Kevin's not screened a lot here.
Wait, let me see.
Where are you getting Kyle?
I don't know.
I just pulled that out.
He called Kevin Kyle by accident.
Screening cue.
None of these people are named Kyle.
No, I know.
No, Cody was saying Kyle's only screened a few calls
because he accidentally was calling Kevin Kyle.
He forgot his co-worker's name.
He did not misread one of the names.
What have you been doing all this time?
It must be something that's so consuming
that you've just forgotten everything about your other wife here.
I can't wait to see the Cody project when it finally does come out.
Whatever it is.
And I don't know what medium it's in.
I don't know what form it's going to take.
But it's going to answer a lot of questions I've had for quite some time.
It feels what it must be like when the accountant from the accountant goes to kill somebody or whatever.
He assassinates someone. you know, from the accountant goes to like kill somebody or whatever. He like assassinate someone and then he has to go back to like a normal accounting job
and be like, so what was this?
There was like, you wanted to set up a...
Well, the accountant doesn't have that issue, but...
Because he was mostly an accountant.
He just got roped into the killing stuff.
He's just,
he's,
he,
he's super capable at both of those things.
Right.
And he is completely able to compartmentalize what he's doing.
I guess.
I mean,
he's so into the accounting part of it.
If Cody was the accountant,
he would go do,
go murder someone and then have to go back.
It is just someone who's leading a double life.
Yes.
And they're forgetting how to lead one of them.
Every time you spend a little time in one,
you just forget what was going on with the other one.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What was that?
You wanted to open a sapphire up?
When Cody touches the darkness,
he brings a little bit of it back with him.
More and more until he becomes the darkness.
Okay, well, Alex, I guess, might be a girl.
Let's give it a go.
Alex, you are on the line.
Hey, guys.
Not a girl.
Hi, Alex.
Hi, Alex.
Wait, do I know this person?
What's your little internet name?
A man for tacos.
Oh, no, I don't know you.
No, but that's good.
Yeah.
So what's your best of the year?
What's your best taco this year?
And what are you sipping on?
Carnitas or something?
What are you sipping on to help cut the spice?
See, it's unfortunate I'm towards the end of the
call-ins because I ran out of
things to sip. You don't know how long we're doing this.
Yeah, you have no clue.
Are you going longer? You know what happens when you
assume that? I ran out of things to sip.
You got three little
Asubis
pointing back at you. Yeah.
So, what were you sipping on? What were you sipping on?
What were you sipping on?
He's saying like, well, I started with orange juice.
Answered my call a little sooner.
Oh, you're upset that you were thinking of a drink
and that when someone said orange juice,
you were unable to come up with another drink.
I'm just fucking blown away.
He's saying he ran out of his drink.
And so he wishes we
could answer a little sooner. And so then he could have said,
well, I'm sipping on some orange juice.
But as it is, it's all gone.
Well, pretend you have something else.
And can I say, take it a little slower next time.
And it's a sugar bomb.
Yeah, you don't have to freaking
chug the OJ, man.
Not like Mexican Coke, which is good sugar.
Now, can I ask you a man for tacos?
If you could answer my first question and say what your best taco is,
and can I also have some guesses?
Yeah, you can have some guesses.
Autoboto?
Nope.
Okay, go ahead then.
Wire.
Why is he lying?
From Taco Bell.
From Taco Bell, what?
Where are you calling from?
Wisconsin.
Okay, so that's the thing.
They don't have the good tacos there.
Bucky the Badger.
You eaten any of those?
Yep.
I met him once.
Badgers are stubborn.
Yeah, he was mean.
What do you think of Bo?
Bo?
Bo running the buzz cuts.
Come on, man.
Bo Obama's dog?
No, man.
We don't get political on this show. No, man. So Obama's dog? No, man. We don't get political on this show.
No, man, we just have fun.
Bo Ryan, baby.
Buzz cuts?
I don't like buzz cuts.
Man, he's from Wisconsin.
How do I know more about this shit than you?
When you met Bucky the Badger what was he being like?
was he nice?
he's probably out I will say
just to preface this
he's probably out trying to
just live his life
and be a normal person
so you coming up to him
and like forcing your
yourself on
on Bucky the Badger
like he has no obligation
to be like nice
to you.
Yeah, and that goes for anyone who approaches me or Hayes.
Yes.
Looking back, he was in the grocery store,
and he was looking at avocados.
It was very rude of me to walk up and ask him about his favorite fruit.
So they've got avocados, but they don't have any tacos.
They don't have any autobottos.
That's really strange. So they've got avocados, but they don't have any tacos. They don't have any autobottos.
That's really strange.
Did you know that my friend Ders went to college in Wisconsin?
No, I didn't.
Oh.
And he's actually been on the show before. And he's been on the show.
And it is the famous one.
Oh, is it the famous one?
Yeah, it actually is.
Yeah.
Where is he? I should find Yeah. Where is he?
I should find him.
Where is he?
Los fucking Angeles, man, because you know who he is.
That's how you can figure that out.
Yeah, you heard of him.
He's famous.
Yeah, that's because he's in Hollywood, baby.
Wait, so we are nearing the end.
Yeah, it's over.
You're right.
So wait, but one second.
We have to dunk this guy real quick.
Dropping?
Yeah, this is taking too long.
Okay.
Let's talk to the 781.
Oops.
What are you doing, Cody?
Hold on.
Wait, all these are calls in the queue?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said there are only three.
No.
There's like 50.
Yeah.
And also, there's 1,400 busy up there.
I don't know what that means.
Wait, scroll down, Cody.
Unbelievable.
I should just be doing this.
Don't scroll all the way down.
I got Eric on the line.
Wait, scroll down, Cody.
Just a little bit.
Do that one.
That's where we're from.
Who's this, Eric?
Hi.
Hi.
What are you sipping on?
Hey, coffee.
Okay.
Hey, me too.
Yeah.
Hey.
Cool.
Hey, I got a question for Cody. Oh, this is an interesting reversal of our normal famous segment, Cody's Questions.
Just wanted to switch it up.
Cody, you said you wanted to hang out next week.
What's your schedule like?
Probably free in the mornings.
Yo, this kid's crushing it.
Hey, man.
He said this was the best way to get in contact with us.
Also, when do you want those diamonds back?
Okay, all right.
Just bring them in the morning.
Hang on.
Okay, okay.
In the morning.
He said when.
In the mornings.
Okay, all right.
Okay, let's end it while it's good.
You wanted this guy?
Yes.
All right, bye, Eric.
See you next week.
Bye.
Who's this?
Hello?
James?
This is James.
You probably remember me as Bozos of Basketball.
Oh.
Now, this is one of our old friends.
This is what I was expecting.
Aim slides, baby.
All our old buddies from aim slides.
Call you in.
Woo.
Woo.
Finally.
Where's everyone else?
You guys, these guys are all going on vacation together.
All having a grand old time.
All these people that only know each other because they were fans of our show.
And now we ask for help from them.
We say call in, and what do we get?
Chanson and James only.
That's pretty sad, man.
Chanson twice.
Yeah, their relationship extended beyond the show.
I think they realized they didn't necessarily like the show
They just liked each other
And that is not what we set out to create
No, it's the opposite of what we wanted to do
We don't care if any of you guys like each other
It's about us
What's happening, James?
Yeah, and what really sucks is that
I wasn't even like one of the top guys.
Oh, believe me, I know.
You were second tier at best.
Yeah.
I liked some of your stuff.
But let's rank the guy.
I mean, let's rank the frigging crew, right?
Yeah.
Anastasia Vigo, right?
Valerie Bryant.
She's way out there.
Yep.
I would go.
And vanished into the ether.
No sign of her on the queue.
Kevin Cobble Bryant.
Yeah, Valerie disappeared.
Kevin Cobble Bryant.
The real KOB.
Yeah, the real KOB.
True killer.
Yeah, Joe McGurl is up there.
Joe McGurl.
Real OG from the beginning.
Dead as far as I know.
Yeah.
Denise, okay. Yeah, know. Denise, okay.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, okay.
Fine.
He's a little too close now.
Yeah.
Used to be at a nice remove.
Mm-hmm.
No, yeah.
Now he's like at my doorstep.
But James, I mean, I don't think I'd even get to his name
until I'm at least on my second hand.
Yeah, we didn't even get to Greggy.
Oh, God.
I feel so bad.
Yeah, Greggy.
Yeah.
I mean, he's doing great.
He's doing his own podcast.
Yeah.
He's got his own stuff going on.
He's broken out.
He's broken out.
And he's probably mad at me.
I promised to do his podcast and then just blew him off for like six months.
Oh, you never did it?
Never did it.
Never did it.
Yikes. Yeah, said I would do it. Never did it. Never did it. Yikes.
Yeah, said I would do it.
I did it.
Yeah, I know you did.
Hayes is the nice one.
I do stuff for my friends.
James, what's going on?
You like the Celtics still?
Yeah, still like them.
They're good.
That's all good. And Haynesim slides is dead which sucks but i was uh tom charpling listed me or uh haim slides on the uh podcast in memoriam which is
quite an honor what you sipping on uh i am sipping on a funky faux deep spring pale ale.
Oh, James.
Oh, James.
And it really sounds like he's in a car, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Of all the callers, I mean, this guy is in a car.
This guy is the most in a car, and he's drunk.
And the beer sounds so bad.
Oh gosh, it sounds like such...
It sounds like the micro-est of micro-brews.
I can taste it. It sounds disgusting.
Oh yeah, it prides itself
on being hoppy.
James, where is your...
I'm actually at the brew.
Are you still friends with the other
Hameslides who didn't like us? No friends with the other Hameslides who didn't like us?
No, all the other Hameslides are dead.
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
Wow.
Wow.
Time.
The ravages of time.
Father Time still undefeated, huh?
Really went sour.
Uh-huh.
Like one of these micro brews.
Mm-hmm.
Very good.
Thank you.
So, buddy, we got to go.
We got to go, James.
This has been so nice.
This was so good.
See you, buddy.
Have a good hauler.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Bye.
I don't want to hear him say bye.
I'm trying to just, all right.
Okay, and how many other people just?
Here we go, 1,500.
You're just pulling someone up to talk to?
I didn't say that.
We were going to end this.
Who is it?
Who is this?
Nick.
Nick.
What names do we have on here?
Another Colin.
Max. Brett. Nathan Nathan Casey, Alex, Joe
John, Eric, Alex
Casey?
it could be, wait who's this?
it was Nick
yeah what are you sipping on Nick?
Nick what are you sipping on?
sipping on a fancy old fashioned
oh my god
oh wow
are you going to finish it? Sipping on a fancy old-fashioned. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you going to finish it?
Yeah.
Do you want me to?
Yeah. Yeah.
How are you guys doing?
I think he's finishing the drink.
Not a fan of the show.
All right, Nick, you're out.
Bangos. Bangos.
Bangos, baby.
Bangos.
Give me Casey.
Casey.
And he likes Bango the Buck.
See, this is one of that basketball stuff he wants to be doing.
Casey, you are alive.
You are alive.
Fear the deer.
Casey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, so happy to hear from you.
Just another member, random member of our diverse audience.
Now, Casey, what are you sipping on?
You know what?
I'm pretty lame.
I heard that first guy say he was drinking that vitamin C drink,
and I went, oh, I should take some of that.
So that's what I'm drinking.
Okay, but don't have too much. It's not good.
No, you have to mix it.
You have to mix it with water.
What?
Unless you're doing the no liquid challenge.
I heard
about that and it does sound good.
Yeah, the saltine
challenge? I might try it. Like the saltine
challenge? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
What a nice yes I got.
Thank you, Casey.
It's almost as if you know I'm the host of the show.
Nothing is better than having no hydrating.
I do know that.
It's almost as if you understand the dynamic between a caller and the host and his sidekick.
And she sounds like she has no intention, nothing built up that she urgently needs to unleash on us.
Just calling to have a nice
conversation. Isn't that right, Casey?
I can't hear Casey scribbling on a
notepad, you know, fervently
coming up with sort of
some half idea.
Not crossing anything
out. Only circling stuff.
Only underlining
and putting exclamation points after every
word. Yes! this is so good.
There's not a deranged mind behind this call.
So, Casey, what's your best of this year?
You know, I'm going to thank you both for something that you suggested years ago.
I know you don't like to reference your old podcast, but too bad.
I recently bought Bachelor Pad 3, Season 3.
I've been watching that, and it's a damn pleasure.
It's the best thing I've ever seen.
Okay, now I don't—
That's my best stuff.
I didn't understand anything you just said, but I loved the tone.
It was like in an ancient language to me.
To me, yeah, I don't know those words, but the vibe I know.
And the vibe is great.
Yeah.
Casey, what's the best podcast you listened to this year?
Oh, I enjoy your show and I enjoy Spont.
So I'm going to say the two episodes combined that you guys did.
Okay.
That's probably my favorite now.
They are still doing Spont?
Don't you want to?
Want to Spont?
I'm not sure.
Shouldn't they do that?
Why didn't they get to do the PCAST Blast is my question.
How'd they get frozen out?
Notable omission.
And we get to do it? Okay, great.
I genuinely was wondering that.
Did you go, too?
Was it awkward?
Did you go?
I couldn't. I'm up in Oregon, and I couldn't make it down there.
Okay, well, everyone who's called is from Oregon, and they all managed to go.
I know. I'm sorry. You know what? I'm a teacher. I already missed a lot of sick days.
Okay, but as Cody pointed out, it is on Sunday, but maybe you're a Sunday school teacher.
I can't drive that fast. I'm not rich.
Okay, not rich enough to drive that fast. I know how that feels.
I got one of those slow cars.
What are you teaching? We're kind of teachers, huh?
I teach. Oh, you are. Much better than me. What do you teaching? We're kind of teachers, huh? I teach. Three teachers just rocking out.
Much better than me.
What do you teach?
I teach elementary music.
Me too, Circle of Fits.
We go over that stuff a lot on here.
And we do have time for one more installment of our big segment, Cody's Questions.
So, Cody, please ask your question for
Casey. Okay.
So, Casey,
fuck, marry, kill.
Neil Armstrong, Lance
Armstrong, Louis Armstrong.
Bye!
Earwolf!
I'm a horny girl wolf.
This has been an Earwolf production.
Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon.
For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com.
Ow.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.